#hopefully though this is okay and i can stay put 2-3 years and promote or transfer. their pto sucks less after 3 years anyways because

[ratwars]

My new plan of action is to be more unapologetically me at work while still being work me because I am fucking tired of everything and my lack of fucks has apparently hit a new level so instead of fretting about that I am just accepting the damage periods of unemployment does to my personality (work personality? Ability to maintain said personality?) And going with it. If it works great. If it doesn't then they gotta fire me it is whatever I am not even pretending like I care to make a cookie cutter impression.

[nephilim-problems]

Hi guys! This is a new fic I came up with where the reader is Barry Allen's ex-wife and she moves to Virgina and becomes a part of the BAU. It's basically a cross over between The Arrowverse and Criminal minds. Let me know if you want more 🥰

I had been working at the BAU for 3 years and I felt like I was in a family but what type of person keeps secrets for their family? Everyone is the answer but I felt guilty for hiding a whole half of my life, and my slight crush on my boss. I mean it was only a slight crush I found him very attractive but he of course was my boss and he would never go over that professional barrier. I tapped my pen against my desk, feeling like I had read the same line on the same report 7 or 8 times. This job was great except for the paperwork. The paperwork was always the most boring part. 

    “Guys we have a case,” J.J said walking into the bullpen. 

    I looked up and saw Hotch wasn’t in his office and Rossi wasn’t either. They were probably already at the round table. Morgan came around my side as I push my chair in. 

    “He’s probably already at the table sweetheart,” Morgan said putting his hand on the small of my back. “We should probably head there too.” 

    “Yeah we should,” I sighed letting him lead me away. 

    “There goes my weekend,” Prentiss said taking a seat next to Rossi. 

    “You had plans this weekend?” Morgan asked sincerely as we sat down. “I stopped making plans years ago.”

    “I still like to try,” She smiled. 

    “We wanted to take Henry to the zoo this weekend but I guess Will will have to go alone,” J.J said, sending a text I guessed to her boyfriend. 

    “I actually didn’t have plans so,” Reid replied, making me chuckle. 

    “I wanted to go check out that new restaurant down the street, but I guess there’s always when we get back,” I laughed as Garcia set a case file in front of me. 

    “Happy friday my darling profilers you are going to central city, Missouri, 3 women found dead all dumped by the side of the road going into the city. All 3 showed signs of torture and rape and then there is this, which is why the central city police is calling us in,” Garcia spoke but all eyes wen wide after we saw the pictures.

    “He removed their tongue,” J.J said looking disgusted. “That’s new.”

    “Actually this is the second time we have seen this. The last time was when Holis Walker killed 4 people in order to promote his book,” Reid replied. 

             "So rage maybe?" I said. "Maybe these women mean something to him."

             "He shows remorse with the way he dumps the body," Morgan replied. "But he's so angry when he kills them." 

              "Either Way we have 2 days to find this girl alive. Wheels up in 30," Hotch said, collecting his case files and bolting out of the room. 

               I started to collect mine when Penelope, Emily, and J.J sat around me. They had left all their stuff on the table where they were sitting and they were all staring at me. 

               "So when are you going to tell Hotch you have a crush on him?" Emily asked, staring into me. 

"I-I don't have a crush on Hotch," I chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "He's my boss, that would be completely wrong."

"You think you can hide that from some profilers?" J.J asked, smiling at me. 

"I am not hiding anything," I laughed when suddenly I saw Morgan coming up behind Penelope.

"Baby girl, why are you picking on her," Morgan asked, setting his hands on her shoulders. 

"Oh we're just teasing little miss (Y/N/N) about her crush on hotch," Emily said causing everyone to laugh. 

"And I just said I didn't have a crush on Hotch," I said standing up. 

"Sweetheart we all know, its okay," Morgan laughed, making me uncomfortably shuffle towards the door. 

"I definitely do not have a thing for Hotch," I replied walking towards the door. "I have to get my go bag before anyone else starts in om my supposed crush on hotch." 

I heard laughter from behind me but ignored it and ran to grab my bag. I quickly scooped the bag up and ran to meet the team. 

Soon we were sitting on the jet discussing the case when the pilot announced we would be landing in 10 minutes. That was Hotch's que to start handing everyone a job. 

"Rossi, you and agent Prentiss head to the abduction site, Reid, you and Agent Allen head to the dump site, J.J, Morgan, and I will head to the police department," Hotch finished then Morgan cut in. 

"Reid and I were actually hoping to head to the police department," he said and Reid looked suspiciously at him then turned back. 

"I wanted to start the geological profile," Reid smirked unconvincingly. 

"Okay I will go with Rossi, Prentiss, you head to the crime scene," Hotch replied, sighing and looking over the file. 

"Actually, sir, I would like to go to the abduction site if that's okay with you," Emily smiled. 

"I'll go to the dump site then. We will meet back at the station when we're done,"Hotch replied. 

The rest of the team smiled at each other before looking at me. I rolled my eyes at them and crossed my legs. They were absolutely right though, I did have a massive crush on Hotch. It started as just thinking he was hot and wanting to feel him thrust into me then I found the comforting side of him. I had gotten kidnapped while on a case Morgan joked it was a "rite of passage". It wasn't terrible. He had cut me a bit but when the team had broken open the door to his house it startled him enough for me to wiggle out of my restraints and attack him. Eventually I had to stab him just as Hotch broke in. He doted over me for weeks making sure I was okay and that he was always there if I needed to talk. It was very cute and it made my feelings for him grow more intense; however I was going to deny it until I was blue in the face. Even if it was no use because I was lying to a group of profilers. 

It was an uncomfortable ride to the dump site. I was trying to focus on the file in front of me but it was unbearably hot in the humid Missouri weather and for some horrible reason the a/c wasn't working. I was closer to using the file as a fan than actually looking it at. Hotch had taken his jacket off and loosened his tie which had me on edge. It looked as hot as I felt. I couldn't take my eyes off him but I didn't want him to see me. 

Soon the car was stopping and I was hopping out thankful to be out of the car but somehow it was hotter outside. 

"Hotch I can see the body was from here," I said standing on the other side of the car. 

"So he wasn't trying to hide her," he replied. 

I followed him down off the street and across the crime scene tape. 

"He has to have stayed here awhile. Posing on the victim, her hair is brushed, and her fingernails are painted. But he could be seen from the road," I said, throwing my hands in the pockets of my pants. 

"So he doesn't stand out," Hotch replied. 

"Or he parked his car and hid himself from view." 

"Then the car was plain enough not to raise alarm." 

"We're in Central City Hotch. I lived here for a bit, the locals are helpful. If they saw a car parked here at night they'd probably stop to ask what's wrong." 

Hotch actually looked a bit stumped for the first time since I had started working at the bau. 

"Then he has to have a van or truck," Hotch said.

"That's big enough to conceal her and him but something you wouldn't stop on the side of the road to help," I said stepping around the scene. "What about city or park trucks?" 

"They're large enough to block traffic from seeing him," Hotch paused. "Let's head to the station to meet with J.J, Reid, and Morgan. Hopefully Reid has something with the geographical profile." 

With those words Hotch was off with a phone to his ear I assume to Garcia. I followed close behind and slid in the car with him and we took off to the station. It wasn't far. We talked about the heat mainly and Central City. When we pulled up to the station I got queezy. This meant I'd have to see Joe and Barry again. It was a life I was hoping would never clash with this one. 

Hotch parked and we walked up the steps to the central city police station. It looked just as I remembered it, beautiful. J.J came fast approaching and stopped in front of Hotch. 

"Hotch, Captain Singh may have brought us in but the officers aren't cooperating. Detective Joe West was the officer assigned to this case." J.J said, stopping us in our tracks. 

"Is he cooperating?" Hotch replied. 

"For the most part yeah," J.J said tapping her thighs which she only did when she was frustrated. 

"They won't cooperate because of the flash," I piped up and they all looked at me confused. 

"Who is the flash?" J.J asked. 

"He's a vigilante from Central City. The U.S government has kept a handle on any information about him to keep from a vigilante crisis," Hotch replied. 

"If central city has the flash, why are we being called in?" J.J asked. 

"The flash is good at catching people but he isn't a detective. He can't find these women like we can," I replied. 

"I don't care about the flash right now, the only thing we should be focused on is finding this girl in the next 40 hours," Hotch said walking by J.J and into the bullpen. 

I followed and saw Joe talking to Reid and Morgan in a small glass room on the other side of the bullpen. I basically ran over and opened the door so excited to see Joe again. Then I saw Barry standing with them. 

"(Y/N)," Joe called out. 

"Joe," I smiled as he grabbed me into a large hug. 

"It's so good to see you," he said, squeezing me tightly. 

"It's so good to see you too," I smiled, parting from the hug and pulling Barry in. I hadn’t realized how much I missed his hugs. 

"It's been awhile (Y/N/N)," Barry said and I could hear the smile in his voice. 

"Yeah, I've missed you Bares," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist. 

"I missed you too," Barry mumbled as I pulled away. 

"You guys know each other?" Morgan asked. 

"Yeah, I was in college and I lived with Joe, Barry, Wally, and Iris," I said feeling a bit happier. 

"Barry has been helping us with the forensic side of things," Reid replied. 

"How far did you get with the geographical profile?" I asked 

"Not very far," Reid said, making his nervous smile. 

"Don't tell Hotch that," I smirked and patted him on the shoulder. 

"We're thinking male, white, late 20s early 30s, sexual sadist," Morgan said, throwing the file down. 

"Hotch and I think he might work for the city or parks. He's got a truck that gives him enough privacy to pose the victim and brush her hair," I said. "And the only thing we could think of was city and park vehicles." 

"I already called Garcia to check for white males in their late 20s early 30s that have access to city or park vehicles," Hotch said standing over me. 

"That's almost anyone," Joe replied. "Anyone who works for the city, parks and recreation, police, or even just rich CEOs who donate." 

"Can you get me a list of all those people?" Hotch asked. 

"Yeah," Joe replied and started walking. "Barry, I'm going to need your help." 

"Coming Joe," Barry replied. "(Y/N/N) you s-should come by for dinner. Iris would love to see you." 

"I'll make time for it Barry," I smiled and squeezed his arm as he left. 

"Sweetheart, why didn't you tell us you were from here?" Morgan asked. 

"I'm not from here," I laughed trying to brush him off. "Iris, Barry, and I went to college together. We've kept in contact the best we can but things have happened." 

"Oh yeah what things?" Morgan laughed as Emily and Rossi came in. 

"The victim put up a huge struggle," Emily said and I silently cheered. "She threw anything within reach at him. We found bullet holes in the walls. We think she had a gun." 

Suddenly Morgan pulled out his phone.

"Hey baby girl it's Morgan," he said and we all knew he was calling Garcia. "I'm going to put you on speaker." 

"Hey Garcia, did Alyssa Smith have a gun registered to her?" Emily asked, putting her hands on the table. 

"Yes she did own a gun. She also had a hunting license," Garcia replied. 

"Did any of the other 3 victims?" Hotch asked, setting his hand on the lower of my back. It sent chills down my spine as I tried to focus. 

"Yes, all 3 victims had gun licenses and hunting licenses," Garcia replied. 

"Thanks baby girl," Morgan said. 

"Anything for you my love," Garcia replied as Morgan hung up the phone. 

 "You know, cases where victims have and use guns scare the shit out of me," I said, taking a step back and feeling slightly sad when Hotch took his hand off of me. 

"Thats our only pattern," Reid sighed. 

"I don't know if you've noticed but central city isn't exactly a hunting gun owning town. Most people don't own a gun unless you work in law enforcement," I replied. 

"Detective West said  law enforcement was on our list of people who had access to the vehicles we are looking for," Hotch said. "Get Garcia on the phone. I'm going to see if I can check on that list." 

"I'm going to talk to Barry and see if he has any contacts who saw anything," I said, starting to walk towards the door. 

"J.J make sure this doesn't get leaked to the press," Hotch said following. "Agent Allen, I need to talk to you." 

"Uh, yes sir," I said walking out and standing on the side. 

[mx-barnes]

Soulmate Au 2/?

Bucky x F!Reader

Summary: When you turn 18 you get the name of a song on your wrist. That is the song you and your soulmate share. It is also how you can communicate with them.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None really.

A/N: Sorry I know it’s short. I have been experiencing a lack of ambition to write. I also felt like I had a duty to post something cause I haven’t posted in a while. Ok I also know the song wasn’t out in the forties but idc ok it’s an amazing song and it reminds me of Bucky and if I am having trouble sleeping I listen to it. Feedback appreciated. All my own writing. Gif not my own

Chapter 1 Masterlist

The alarm clock on your end table reads 6:30 am 30 minutes from before your alarm is supposed to wake you up. It’s not that you didn’t welcome the fact that you were up early than usual but you silently curse yourself hoping to fall back into the pleasant dream you were having. Although you had wanted to meet him in real life, not just the dream world you knew that it wouldn’t happen. If he had stayed hidden from you for this long don’t think you are going to find him in a day. You wish you just had something to go off of. Pulling you out of your thoughts is your cat needling into you. Although he was annoying Alpine loved you. You remember the day you got him. It was soaking rain and you had found a box on the side of the road. You decide to pull over to pick up the garbage lying around on the ground. You pull over the road and go to lift up the box and it was unusually heavy you check inside. To your surprise, there was a small white kitten looking at you with blue eyes. From that day on he was the only man in your life he probably senses that your soulmate is in the picture now so he is being an even bigger attention whore.

You may want to go back to the dream realm but your adult life calls. You roll out of your bed and wrap a small blanket you had at the end of your bed because although you had to get up it didn't mean you didn't have to be warm. You treck your way out of your bedroom and into the kitchen. With your blanket draped over your shoulders you silently make your breakfast. A simple bowl of cheerios. Nothing too extravagant but a simple meal. People may say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day but you have always disagreed with that statement. Give you some coffee and you are good to go. Although that was very particularly healthy you started eating actual food at breakfast. Once you finished your bowl you put it in your sink to be later washed. You walk back into your bedroom and enter your bathroom. You strip and step into the shower. Ket the warm water flows down around your back as you listen to music and sing along. Quietly f course even though you wanted to scream the lyrics. Once you had finished your shower you exited wrapped in a towel and changed.

Slipping into a white low v cut shirt and some beige pants. Walking back into the bathroom quickly dry and straighten your hair leaving just a little bit of wave because you can't fully straighten it. You pull your hair back into a high ponytail leaving two pieces out to frame your face. Quickly, you grab your purse, phone, and keys. Turning to wake towards the door you lock the door and leave to work.

It wasn't a long drive to your job. You worked at Stark Industries. It wasn't the same after Tony died but you still appreciated working there. You and Pepper had become quick friends after bumping into each other in the hallways one day. You were ecstatic for her when she got promoted to CEO. Almost as her first act, she had you instated as her assistant. She gave you fair hours and you didn't mind. There wasn't ever any awkwardness in be between the two of you. Pepper never acted like she was better than you and thank god for that. She was one of the best people you knew she was having a hard time dealing with Tony's death but that was understandable. She had lost her husband and became a single mother. She had the avengers and Happy but it wasn't the same. She had offered for you to meet them time and time again but every time you declined. It's not that you didn't want to meet them. It's just sometimes it's better to never meet your heroes.

By the time you got to the office Pepper was already locked away in her office. You knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in," a voice from behind the door says.

You walk in and notice Pepper sitting at her desk as she normally does but her cheeks are tear stained and her eyes are red. "Hey, you are not supposed to be here before me. You should be at home with Morgan."

"Happy has her. I just couldn't be in that house anymore. Hell, I can't even be in New York without thinking about him. He saved this city. He saved the world. I know that it's silly and selfish of me to hide away from my daughter but I just... I look at her Y/n and I see him. I see his smile, his curiosity, I see the playboy he was before he settled down. All I see is him in her and I-"

"Hey, we can get through this together. Me and you." You walked up to her and hugged her. She hugged you back her arms not letting go. You rub her back soothingly. "It's okay it's all gonna be ok."

"You're right. You're right I just got to get this done. Power through this. This feeling I am experiencing will pass."

You hesitate not knowing what to say. Finally, you figure you should tell her. "I saw him."

"Him? Who him?" She straightened up as she questioned.

"My soulmate. I don't know what made me. I was even planning on it but then I got this feeling that I should try it and well I saw him."

"What'd he say?"

"He said he was sorry. He was sorry but he couldn't love me first. I was desperate so I tried again the next night last night. He said..." You were on the verge of tears "He said he was sorry. That he didn't want to hurt me. That he would agree to see me. Only in the dream realm for right now but it's better than nothing. God, he was gorgeous. His eyes sparkled like ice. I just wish I wish I could prove to him how much I love him even if he doesn't want to let me in. I want him to know he deserves all the love in the world.”

“Y/n you got to tell him. You remember how I was when I found out that my boss was my soulmate,” Pepper's eyes dropped sadness filling her eyes. “Listen it doesn’t matter how cold it closed off he seems you need to make the decision if you want to keep him in your life. If all he wants is the dream world then you move on you’ve got to be the one to make the first move.”

“Your right. I should be allowed to be happy.”

<~>

You were a dream come true. After he pushed you away from you you accepted gratefully back into your arms.

Bucky would spend the rest of his life making it up to you. He couldn’t believe his luck. Back in the 40s when he first tried he couldn’t find you then he was shipped off to war so he decided not to try again just encase but here he was almost 80 years later with this gorgeous soulmate. God, he was a sap. He was ready to change for you.

He had told you that you couldn’t meet him yet and that he only could see you in the dream realm for right now. He knew it was the right call even if it hurt him. Even if he wanted to hold you in the real world but he couldn’t not yet. He needed to fix himself before he let you in. He couldn’t let his past hurt you. You were far too important to him. That’s what he did.

He started taking his court-mandated therapy seriously. He needed help and he couldn’t do it on his own. So when he went to meet you that night he told you about it. He went over to his record player and search for the record. Finally, he found it. A picture of Harry James on the cover he slid the disk out of its paper case. Carefully get placed on the record player and dropped the needle. He knew there were better ways to play the song but he found comfort playing it on vinyl like he had many many years ago.

He practically ran back to his little spot on the floor where he slept and slowly the feeling of falling began to happen.

Once the feeling stopped he looked around to find his childhood home once again. He called out still a bit queasy “Hello,”

No response. That was weird. So he called out once again “Hello,”

Again no response he started to panic. Maybe you didn’t come tonight. Maybe you decide he wasn’t worth it.

A voice broke the anxiety building. “Hey, sorry it took me a bit longer today.”

“Yeah no that’s fine I understand.” He smiles slightly.

“So how was your day?” You asked. God, there was something so intoxicating about your voice. It was smooth and angelic. He could listen to it for the rest of his life.

“I mean it was good. I decided to start taking my therapy more seriously I want to get better for you. How was yours?”

“That’s great. My day was ok I guess I mean I was real busy at work.” You moved closer to him his heart picked up.

“Yeah, yeah I guess it good,” Bucky stuttered. I mean you were incredibly gorgeous but he felt safe in your presence not wanting to lose a second of time with you. Slowly his head started spinning and being brought back to reality “Listen I don’t have much time left we meet here again same time tomorrow. Deal?” His voice hopefully searching your eyes for any sign of rejection to his great fortune there wasn’t any.

“Deal.” you stepped up closer to him kissing him on the lips before he was rudely pulled back into reality. He sat up with a start (like gif).

Groaning and grumbling about how it was too soon to be pulled out of and if he only had more time with you.

Chapter 3

Taglist:

@oceanmermaidwitch

[melancholymaz]

Enceinte (3)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader 

Summary: Now at 16 weeks in your pregnancy, The avengers have been taking the Uncle and Aunty role with pride, With your nursery being built and painted. But it’s game night and what better way to do that than have the avengers have a sleepover? 

Warnings: Sad!Nat turns into Soft!Nat and couldn’t help but end it in domestic!Avengers. Swearing and Bucky and Steve cheating at Uno. Also talks of parents disowning their child.

Y/S/P = Your sexual preference 

A/N: Here’s part 3! I am so deeply sorry it’s taken this long! Enjoy!

Deciding to live in the compound while pregnant has been both a blessing and a curse. Unfortunately with your parents having disowned you when you came out as Y/S/P, you didn’t have very many people to tell, besides a few friends and cousins, To which they were ecstatic. 

The positives are that Nat doesn’t miss a thing as her and the team have decided to only go on missions unless necessary. So now they can be there for milestones or help if you ever need it. Even Carol has decided to stay until her niece or nephew is born. You and Natasha have both been reading pregnancy and baby books and even Tony had the two of you sleep in a spare room temporarily as him and the team combine your room with the vacant one next door for the baby’s nursery which is now ready to decorate. In about 3 weeks you’ll be having your gender reveal, as you and Nat had agreed you were far too excited to wait to see if your baby was a boy or a girl. Despite it being your first pregnancy, Your 16 week baby bump was very much noticeable, and now  you didn’t look like you ate too much the night before, like you did when your bump was first starting to grow.

You’ve been keeping as active as you could, doing mild workouts during the day to keep as fit as you can. You’ve noticed your skin has become a bit more clearer, as the ‘pregnancy glow’ makes it’s mark.  Sometimes you’ll have random blood noses, which is normal as Dr Cho had to convince Nat a hundred times, but it didn’t make them any less annoying. Warm baths and back massages had become your best friend as your bump starts to grow, If your back pain is bad now you dread the pain that is to come. You’ll even become dizzy at random points during the day, and it’s handy having the avengers around to easily catch you if you start to sway. 

You’ve started wearing maternity clothes, to which Nat loves. Your choice in bras have become different thanks to your ever growing breasts, and she loves finding new ways to take them off as fast as she can. The only thing she loves to pout about is the fact you’ve started sleeping on your left side, as now it’s rare she gets to see your face as you both lay in bed together. That doesn’t stop her from rubbing and talking to the baby every night though. 

Finishing up in the gym for the day, you wipe your forehead to rid the sweat and take a swig from your drink bottle, taking a breather before you say goodbye to Steve and Bucky who are both training together. Making your way to Your’s and Nat’s bedroom, you pass Wanda and Carol in the hallway, who asks you how you were feeling and if you needed anything, much to your gratitude.

As you enter your room you immediately notice somethings wrong. You hear a sniffle before a soft cry, and you notice it’s coming from the nursery. A frown settles on your face as you walk in and you can’t help the feeling of your heartbreaking a little. There Nat sit’s in the middle of the empty room crying, staring up at the half finished Winnie the pooh themed wall mural Steve has started, making sure to leave a spot blank to paint the baby’s name when you and Nat have decided on one. 

“Babe? What’s the matter?” You ask, slowly coming up behind her, placing your hands on her shoulders, softly peering at her face. Her puffy eyes look up at you and she gives you a small sad smile. “I thought I was the one that was supposed to be emotional.” 

“I’m sorry, I just came in here to see the mural but then I couldn’t help but think how surreal all of this is. I mean I never would have thought 2 years ago that you’d be my girlfriend much less pregnant with our first child. I mean all my life I thought I’d never have kids much less a partner. I used to have nothing, and now I’ve got this job... and this, family that couldn’t love us any more.” 

“It does seem a bit crazy doesn’t it.” You say softly, lightly massaging her shoulders as she lets a few more tears fall. You know the best thing right now is to just comfort her and let her have her moment. 

“I am so incredibly lucky to have the team, and you, and especially our baby. Everything I’ve ever wanted right here and I don’t know how or why I deserve it.” 

“To be quite honest with you my love I think we’re the lucky ones. To have someone so loving and forgiving like you is definitely rare. Beans going to have the most protective and playful mama, and I think I can speak for the team when I say there’s no one that could ever replace you. You deserve all of this, The team, the family and most importantly me and our baby.” You tell her honestly, placing her hand on your bump. 

“You think so?” She asks with so much uncertainness. 

“I know so.” You smile, to which she returns. 

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Nat replies, the soft smile on her face as she looks up at you. 

“Yeah, multiple times.” You smile. “Now come on, we’re gonna go have a shower and go see the team, It’s game night.” 

“Yes Ma’am.” 

-

“This game is bullshit!” Sam screams, slamming his uno cards on the table before standing up and kicking his chair. “He’s cheating!! There is no way he can win game 5 times in a row!! He just picked up 4 cards!” 

“Stop being a sore loser.” A smug Bucky says, taking joy in his friends rage. 

“Stand up and clean out your pockets.” You demand, also annoyed at your friend. Bucky does as you say with a smug smile on his face, pulling his pockets from his shorts and jumper, proving he didn’t cheat. When he sit’s down however, you catch something in the corner of your eye and you shake your head with scoff when Steve subtly high fives Bucky under the table. Nat must have seen it to, because she too shakes her head and speaks up. 

“Steven, my lovely captain.” Natasha says albeit too sweetly. 

“Yes Nat?” He replies, probably too quickly to come off as nonchalant.

“Would you like to stand up and empty your pockets too?” I finish instead, smiling at the blonde who looks at Bucky then stands and does the same, which ends in him pulling out roughly 10 cards from his sweatpants pocket. 

“Are those Bucky’s Cards?” Wanda asks, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. 

“...no?” Steve replies. “They’re mine?” 

“Steve is that or is it not Bucky’s cards?” Carol asks this time, her face stern, which you know is making Steve slightly panic. You see Bucky staring at Steve, almost daring him to lag on him. 

“Okay fine. Buck and I made a deal that I would help him win because he always loses and he’s sick of Sam and Y/N always winning.” Steve confesses ashamedly, Bucky’s eyes widening in betrayal. 

“I KNEW IT!!” Sam yells. Nat just stares dumbfounded, meanwhile Tony, Rhodey and Bruce just watch things unfold shaking their head in disappointment, Wanda and Carol stand up and start packing up the Uno cards as they both know no one will want to play after this. You, however, stare at Bucky with betrayal and hurt. 

“You always say you want me to win! This is discrimination against pregnant women.” You joke, to which Nat laughs behind you. 

“I think he wanted you to win so the baby will be named after him.” Rhodey inputs. 

“Definitely won’t be now.” You say to which Bucky frowns. “Sorry pal lost your chance.” 

“What-” 

“Yeah because we all know the baby’s gonna be named after me.” Tony interrupts Bucky, pouring himself a drink at the bar. 

“Jokes on all of you, we’re not naming the baby after any of you.” Nat replies, smiling matter-of-factly after nearly everyone looks at her offended.  “You all suck.” 

“Besides me.” Carol says, sticking her hand up. 

“No definitely you.” Is Rhodey’s reply, causing Carol to throw the uno cards at him. Everyone begins to move into the common room, deciding to chill before someone picks a movie. 

“Speaking of the baby, what’s the update?” Steve walks in, handing Wanda the chip bowl, who thanks him quietly. 

“Well, Bean should be starting to hear sounds now hopefully, muscles are getting stronger and should be having coordinated arm and leg movement.” You explain, the team listening attentively. 

“And Bean is now the size of an apple!” Natasha quickly adds. 

“Seriously can’t wait to be an uncle.” Tony says, scratching his greying goatee. “How are you wanting to do the gender reveal?” 

“Well so far it’s just gonna be all of us, Pete, Clint and his family, Fury, Sharon and Maria. Thor too if he’s back in time from Asgard. We’ll get Dr. Cho to put the respective colour in a big balloon and we’ll have like mini games and just have a fun time with all of us.” Nat explains. The team nods, and you can see Tony’s gears in his head rolling, probably just promoted himself the event planner. 

“There is to be no one invited without our permission.” You direct to Tony, who just nods. 

Just an hour later you and the team have all set up mattresses and blankets all over the common room, deciding to have a sleepover all together. Bruce and Rhodey as an exception as they believe they’re “too old” to have sleepovers. You and Nat set up on the end of all the mattresses, in case need to go toilet during the night. You’re surprised everyone agreed to do it, considering they’re the earths mightiest heroes. 

-

As the end credits of the fourth movie rolls around, you look around to see everyone but you and Nat have fallen asleep. You move back down and start to wiggle around to find a comfortable spot, but end up failing miserably. 

“You okay babe?” Nat asks, lightly rubbing your back after you groan for the third time. 

“Just can’t seem to get comfortable.” You mumble back, trying to fall asleep. 

“Would you like me to go get your new pregnancy pillow?” She asks laying her head on your shoulder, to which you nod softly. Nat gives you a kiss on the cheek before she stands and steps over you to go get your pillow from your shared room. When she comes back a few minutes later, she helps you position yourself and when you finally find a comfortable spot, you can’t help but sigh in relief. 

“Thank you my love.” You mumble, already drifting off. 

“Go to sleep Malysh, I’ll try to not keep you awake while I say goodnight to Bean.” Nat whispers, already moving down to talk to your bump. You hum in goodnight before you drift off into a deep slumber. 

Malysh = Baby

[aspenflower17]

Alright. I need to scream into the void because it is 5 AM and the anxiety is eating me alive.

So, in the tradition that is going on now, I am not happy at my job. My boss has done a lot of really messed up stuff, even before her staff all left. Here's some of them. Note: I am the assistant manager, with no manager above me.

1. When I started, we had monthly morning meetings to make sure everyone was on the same page (I started November 2019). Because of the pandemic, I understand why we stopped. So, 2021 rolls around and I was extremely excited to start those back up. Everytime I would tell her to schedule one (because I'm not in charge of the schedule), she would find some excuse not to do it. It is now September 2021, and we have had 1 (one) meeting, which she wouldn't really let me direct.

2. She won't come into her own store unless something huge is happening. She has told me on multiple occasions that she has to have employees to run the store because she can't always be there. Note, this is a small business. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if I'm the owner because she. Does. Not. Come. In. She (hopefully) comes in once a week to bring us money and then bails.

3. Because of that, I have basically been running the store. I have had former co-workers tell people that stayed past them, "There's only so much responsibility [the owner] can put on [AspenFlower17] without just handing her the keys to the store." I have essentially gone gray enough at this point that people have suggested I just dye my hair gray. I'm going to be 26 next month... That's messed up.

4. I almost hit my breaking point a LONG time ago. After having a shift with her that left me in tears, I was ready to turn in my two weeks but then I found CBD for my anxiety. I stuck it out. When it got bad again, we hired a lovey, lovey girl who has turned into a friend for me. Because of her, I stayed a whole other year because I didn't hate work anymore. CBD doesn't help me anymore at work I'm so stressed. I no longer get to work with this coworker.

She also promoted me to assistant manager while we already had one and told me not to say anything to the current assistant manager because she would talk to her. A month or two later, we all had a meeting together, and THAT'S WHEN SHE TOLD HER!!! So, she left shortly thereafter because she felt like we were sneaking around behind her back, and I honestly don't blame her.

She also did not come in and work during covid even though we were open the whole time.

5. She has just, straight up lied about me to my staff. So, we had a lengthy discussion about what we could go for the staff to help combat burnout. I suggested we do a breakfast that wasn't a meeting just so everyone had time to hang out together. She agreed and when I mentioned going to a local restaurant, she then countered by essentially saying that we need to keep it cheap and to get stuff from the grocery store. So, I told her what day I was going to do it and then that we would have a meeting the next week. She said, "Okay. Well, mornings don't work well for me, so you just do it, and the store will just pay you back for it." Because she has a communication issue I had run into before, I verified the date and that I was okay to do it. She said yes, do it.

So day of the breakfast rolls around. It... Didn't go like I thought it would (partially because I was SUPER tired) but it happened. Whatever. The owner then spoke with one of the employees about how she was thinking about doing a breakfast for all of us. Said employee (who quit fairly soon there after) tells her we had already done it. The onelwer then tells her, "No... We had talked about it, but we never set anything up," and then proceeds to ask for details about it, and tells the employee we were all going to go to a restaurant and blah, blah, blah.

The staff then tells me, to which I obviously told them what actually happened, but it really kind of broke their trust with me and her because it wasn't a very good breakfast (we never had that nice one she told us about btw). I caught her in a point blank our again to me about another staff member later on, so I know they weren't lying (plus she seemed upset with me afterward for awhile). We did have the meeting though (the one we've had that I mentioned above, so... Obviously we decided on something... 👀

6. The back room is out of control and it's not my fault. So, we had a meeting with a higher up in the company (it's a franchise company, so no corporate but there is oversight) and he ran the numbers for us and told us that we need to buy more product to make our store a success (won't go into details, bit we buy products from people and then resale them). So I did. I pushed the staff to buy more stuff and low and behold, we had one of the best years we've EVER had, since the owner opened.

But, with more product comes more back stocking. And when I tell you our back room absolutely EXPLODED. It became a stressful place to be and I told the owner we needed more bins (which is what we put back stock in) when it started getting bad. She told me, "No. You need to make sure the bins we have are full and you need to stock more."

Well, about this time, we physically were not able to stock more because she didn't tell me it was clearance time and we were out if hangers, which I also communicated to her, and she brought us like 2 boxes (which doesn't do much). But I did everything I could to make that happen. I spent a ton of time combining bins and just trying to make it work in general and it wasn't working.

So, she comes into the back one day and just... Panics and reads me the right act for not telling her sooner that we needed bins... So I tell her, "But I did, back before it got this bad. You told me to just combine bins and put stuff out, but I can't do that because I can't because I'm out of hangers," and she says, "But I didn't know it was this bad..." But then later redacted that to say I never told her. So, she brings bins (BECAUSE SHE HAD SONE THE ENTIRE TIME), we... Kind of get the backroom manageable, and she tells me, "Now, if it ever gets bad again, you have to let me know. This is why communication is so important."

So, we use all the bins and are BARELY able to keep that okay. So, fast forward a couple months. The backroom is still messy and we've had... 4 people leave at this point (many because of the backroom). I have my lovely coworker come out of the back and tell me point blank, "[AspenFlower17], that backroom is stressing me out. I don't care if I have to buy them. We HAVE to get bins," so I go, "Cool. Let me text [the owner]," and so I text and tell her, "We need more bins. The staff is getting stressed out," and she texts back, "Well, I need a list if everything you have back there first," ... So I do. She then comes in and instead of working in the back, she's upfront BUYING MORE PRODUCT (she always buys a TON). Then, when I get there, she pulls me around the store, tells me everything that's wrong (note I haven't left behind the counter in we weeks because of buys), and then pulls me to the back, brings out a ton of bins for everyone to stock, and then leaves... That was the ultimate breaking point. I started enacting the exit plan I had come up with since I was already planning on leaving. We still don't have new bins btw.

7. Okay. So. I hired 3 new people. I knew one of them wasn't going to be great, bit figured the other two would be a good fit (this is around the time that everyone was leaving their jobs).

One girl, my favorite actually of the three, completely no showed on me and sent me a text quitting about it 40 mins before her shift though I didn't get it until 5 mins after she was supposed to show up because I DON'T CHECK MY PHONE AT WORK? I told the owner and said I could stay the extra two hours. She says, "Glad you're there."

Next day, I was able to spend some time in the back because, well, I needed to, and didn't get super far, but got some stuff done. I offered to stay longer but was told it was fine, even though one of my coworkers have herself dry socket and was in pain. We were short staffed because that girl quit.

So I go to my friend's house, glad the weeks over because I had the next day off. I then get a text from the coworker with dry socket asking was I actually did in the back. I tell her, getting really pissed at this point, and then she tells me something is leaking back there. So, I head BACK over after a 7 hour shift. She's freaking out and crying. My other coworker is trying to figure out the leak. In the meantime, product is getting wet. So, I stay back there and organize. We send the one with dry socket home and the other coworker is pretty pissed, says she's not staying past 8 and that I shouldn't either; the owner needs to if she wants the store to stay open. So, she texts the owner asking what to do, and doesn't get a reply. I text her, and get a reply 20 minutes later saying the earliest she can come in is 8...

So, this coworker tells me I need to leave because she's taking advantage of me and everything. I ended up staying another 4 hours. The owner was not there right at 8 (did I mention she's also late to almost EVERYTHING?) and seems put out because she had to scramble to find a baby sitter... Ummm... This is your store? And we could have closed early?

8. She's given me tons of shifts with BRAND new people and expected the store to run just fine. She won't even come into help with that.

9. So, I finally put in my two weeks on September 3rd. Work was so bad, I was starting to have suicidal thoughts. Everyone had just reached their breaking point and I was just done. I did not get a reply from her about it (I texted because of my anxiety). The next Tuesday she talked to me about it. I told her I was having suicidal thoughts and I wasn't happy. The next day we talk again, she and convinced me to stay if she made me the backstock manager, so I would only really deal with the back room and the stuff I actually enjoy (and no customers). She also told me she would handle staffing and front end stuff. I figured that would be a good thing, since that's what I've wanted since I started and it would be a full time position. The first week went fine. The second week I had time off, WHICH I REQUESTED BACK IN APRIL, and things just fell apart (partially because if another no show) and she did try to guikt trip me into coming in, which I refused.

It is the 22nd and I am not backstock manager. She has scheduled me 6 days this week and has scheduled it so she is only on the schedule twice. I still have to do staffing things. I'm still doing front end stuff, and she actually got snippy with me on Monday because she left for two hours and a new girl was whining about breaks and asking if she was coming back WHILE I WAS BUSY, so she asked if she could text the owner when she was coming back and I told her sure, whatever. The owner then calls me asking all these questions about why she had texted her and that she shouldn't have her phone on her and blah blah blah WHILE I AM LITERALLY TRYING TO HELP A CUSTOMER WHO DOESN'T SPEAK VERY GOOD ENGLISH!!! and then said, "Well, technically, I'm not on the schedule. I just came in to help you guys, so you're going to have to figure out breaks."

... What happened to you being in charge of the front?

She says I'll be in my new position in a matter of WEEKS, but won't show me anything new with it and with how this is going, I'm pretty sure, even if I do get in this new position, she's going to make me do shift leader stuff when she's short staffed again. She has had she entire staff quit on her before, so it's not like this is a new thing with her.

She doesn't complete all the tasks she's supposed to during the day and just leaves it for night crew, or if she's closing, for the next morning (because she does often open) but then doesn't get it done, again pushing it onto night crew. If we don't get done though, she'll reprimand us.

The problem is, I would just leave, but I feel really guilty about it. We are extremely short staffed and I feel like if I leave now, the store will fail and I've put so much into it, it just feels like a waste.

Everyone is telling me to get out and just leave... But... Anxiety... Plus I feel bad because I told her I'd stay.

Honestly, at this point I'm just looking for some validation that I should leave.

Oh, I also get paid $14... For an assistant manager position. Minimum wage in my state is $7.25 for reference. I also have a seasonal job that ends in October that doesn't pay well, but I enjoy.

Please... Thoughts?

[jokers-of-the-impractical]

Brian Quinn Mini Series “One and Only” Part 2 of 3

(A/N: Hey guys! I hope you’re enjoying this series so far! This part is inspired by “One and Only” by Adele. Part 1 can be found here. Part 3 will be out hopefully soon!)

Word Count: 2200ish?

This past year and half with Brian had been a total romantic whirlwind. It seemed like a total dream, your relationship was truly amazing. You were so comfortable with each other right away, he knew all of your secrets, and you knew his. A month after the live show where he asked out on a date, you two were an official item. By that time the fans already knew who you were from a recording of that night going viral in the fandom. You and Brian were quite surprised by how quickly the fans took to you as well, but that was partially due to the other jokers and their girls always raving about you and the relationship. Plus Brian and the others would swoop in for protection when someone decided to be not so nice.

Speaking of the guys, your friendships with them were amazing too. Each bond with the guys was completely unique and special. Each one had its common interests, shared activities, and inside jokes too. Since that night in the diner the laughs, support, and fun with them had not stopped. At least once a month you and Brian were at one of their houses with the rest of the gang for dinner, you always counted down the hours of the work day when these were taking place. And Bessy and Melyssa were some of your closest friends now. All the time when the guys were off they were put on babysitting duty so you three could hang out and have some girl time. When you girls get together the possibilities are endless! Shopping, brunch, beach day, even a girl’s trip was currently in the works. Just the other day the guys had a last minute segment to film so the girls took the opportunity and decided to take you to go get mani-pedis together after work.

On a date at a trendy and snazzy new restaurant in the city where you two spent celebrating three months together you both said I love you for the first time. Both of you were so nervous, then when the moment was right, you jinxed each other by saying it at the same time. By six months of dating during a late night movie marathon at his place after asking for the last two weeks for you to bring your cat over for playdates all the time, he asked you to move in with him and presented you with a key. You squealed and hugged him so tightly you were sure he was going to snap in half. You were also so supportive of one another when it came to work. All the time you were promoting the show, his podcasts, and his beer brand. You had become a social media fanatic when it came to supporting him and his many ventures. Q had made it a habit of visiting your classroom, on a few occasions he brought the other jokers with him too. You had to admit that seeing your boyfriend surrounded by your students and playing with them made your heart melt. He had the perfect balance of toughness, funniness, and nurturing, when he interacted with them. He had even told you he had begun to love being around children more and more when he started being a frequent visitor in your classroom.

Not long after your one year anniversary, Brain took you to meet his family for the first time and you clicked with them instantly, just as much when Brian met your parents eight months into the relationship, but you knew that they’d love him long before they got to meet. One moment you were talking with his dad and brothers about sports, and the next you were exchanging baking ideas and recipes with his mom.  Now visiting his parents all the time was the norm. Two weekends ago you were over at their house for a big cookout when Carol brought you into the kitchen and you two shared a really emotional and meaningful heartfelt conversation. She hugged you extra tight and told how much she adored you and told that she thought you and Brian were perfect for each other. She said she saw you like a daughter and was so happy that you made her son feel love again. Then she pulled away and gently held your arms and began to tear up when she admitted to you that since you two had begun dating she was thrilled that things didn't work out between him and his ex fiancé, of course she hated the pain the situation put him through, no parent would wish anything like that on their child, but not that long ago he confessed to her on the phone and she couldn't agree more that he was willing to go through that amount of heartache a thousand times if it meant that he got to be with you, because you meant that much to him. Now it was your turn to have tears in your eyes and you hugged her tightly again. As your conversation was nearing its end Q came in to find you and heard the tail end of the conversation, when he came into view he was looking at you super nervously. You headed back outside and he stayed in for a moment to talk to his mom, all you heard before stepping outside was something about not yet and not to ruin it.

Since that weird encounter at the cookout, Bri has been acting all jittery. Any time there was time to relax just the two of you, he would always suggest you do something or go out. It was a little concerning, usually if you guys disagreed or upset the other you would talk it out and fix it as soon as possible. But today was a date you both had been planning for the past month so you figured you would time to talk to him about it sometime today. You got out of bed and left your cat and Brooklyn sleeping on the bed. You trudged downstairs to see Q already dressed and sitting on the couch with Benjamin and Chessie with a cup of tea. You wrapped your arms around him and planted a kiss on his cheek, with sleepiness still in your voice.

“Mmm Good Morning Baby.” Q lifted up his arms to touch yours and leaned his head to plant a kiss on your cheek and then look at you.

“Morning my love. Do you want something to eat before we go? I already have coffee ready and waiting for you too.” He handed you your favorite mug from the coffee table filled with coffee just the way you liked it. You thought it over for a moment while you took a few sips of the coffee.

“Nah I’m good. I’ll just have this while I go and get ready.”

“Okay sounds good to me. I’m ready when you are, but don’t rush. Also, I picked out an outfit for you to wear today.” You smiled when he told you that, every so often he would do this for your dates and it would always make you smile. You headed back upstairs and sure enough your chiffon floral maxi dress and light denim jacket was waiting for you in the front of your closet. You love that the outfit he picked worked so well the manicure from the other day. You then decided to do a no-makeup makeup look topped off with your favorite pink lipstick, then while sipping your coffee, you pinned a bit of your hair back and left the rest down naturally. After your hair and makeup was done and slipped into your outfit, you saw your nude strappy sandals, diamond stud earrings, and off-white cross body bag waiting on the desk chair for you. You went to meet Bri downstairs when you were done getting ready to see him still being kinda weird, and you left for the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Ever since you binge watched Gossip Girl you had become enamored with the MET, you used to go here all the time and Brian knew that. Sometimes you would even just sit on the steps and people watch on days you were in the city. You went in and Q paid for both of your tickets. You spent the whole day wandering around going from exhibit to exhibit and showing him all of your favorite pieces. After what seemed like hours and were getting ready to head out, you figured now would be the right time to finally talk to Brian about why he had been acting so odd lately. You took in a quick yet deep breath and decided to get it over with.

“Hey Bri?” You could hear the nervousness in your voice, and he must have heard it too by the way you noticed him tense up and slowly turn away from the painting he was looking at to be facing you. It almost seems like he’s shaking.

“Uh, yes Y/N?” You let out another breath as you were unsure of where this conversation might lead since you have never seen him act like this.

“Are you okay? Ever since the cookout you’ve been acting pretty weird.”

“I have?”

“Yeah you have, and I was thinking maybe it was because you heard what your mom said to me. But, I want you to know that I feel the same way, I would have dealt with Dean tons more if it meant I got to be with you, that’s honestly how much I love you.” As soon as you finished, he let out a deep sigh of relief and was now smiling.

  “Y/N, I am fine I promise, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. But I’m glad you told me that, it means so much to me. How about we head home and order some takeout yeah?”  You smiled looking deep into his gorgeous dark eyes and nodded.

You walked your way back through the museum and once you both got outside you saw a section of the MET steps had been blocked off and was filled with red roses. You were in awe of this beautiful little scene that you didn’t realize Q was dragging you into this small area. Then all of the sudden there you were, holding hands with Brian facing you in the middle of all of these dozens of roses. Then Brian took a deep breath and began in the most gentle and sweet voice, almost like the night you met.

“Y/N, these past eighteen months have been pure heaven for me. From the moment I saw you I knew I was laying my eyes upon the most beautiful woman in the world, and then to know you admired me even a tenth of the way I already admired you when I read your letter made think I may actually have a shot with you, even though I was so unworthy of this angel before me.” You let out a giggle as he said that, and the gears in your head started turning, why is he being super romantic after being really weird and nervous? “Then I really got to know you and found out we had so much in common, and you helped become an even better version of myself, and I hope I do the same for you. The reason I’ve been so weird since the cookout, is because I didn’t want my mom to ruin this surprise. And I’ve been so nervous because… well...” What surprise? It was then it finally clicked as Brian let go of your hand and got down on knee, the manicure, the weirdness, the special date, the roses, everything! You felt your eyes well up with tears, and your hands flew to your mouth in shock, he was proposing! He pulled a small wooden box out of his pocket and opened it to show a gold ornate banded ring with an Emerald cut diamond in the middle with a small baguette diamond on each side as well. It was the most magnificent ring you had ever seen.

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, would you be willing to spend the rest of your life with me, and do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Now the tears were starting to stream down your face and a smile permanently was plastered on your face. You heard cameras clicking and lights flashing around you as you took in this surreal moment with the love of your life.

“Yes Brian, of course I will marry you!” With that he put the ring on your finger and stood up to embrace you and placed a delicate kiss on your lips as cheers erupted from the small crowd that had gathered around you. You looked over to see photographers taking photos of the priceless moment, and your family that Brian must have flown in for the occasion were all thrilled with Bessy and Melyssa standing with them smiling as well. Then you both heard a loud and dramatic voice ring through a megaphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Make way for the happy couple who is now engaged!” You and Q looked over to see Joe holding a megaphone and Sal and Murr with him too. You and your now fiancé both giggled at the hilarious touch they added to this moment, realizing they must have been the ones to set it u while you both were inside. You looked back and Brian you knew that you were both excited to spend the rest of your life together, just you, and your one and only.

[repentantsky]

9 Things I’d like to see at E3, 2021

So E3 2021 is a thing. It’s gonna be all digital, and several companies have already signed up to join, sounds like a good deal, but the question is, will it be what we normally expect out of E3, or will it be more like Summer Game Fest Last Year, where everything that looked like it was gonna be great, but just turned out to be okay? Who can say, but I have some...suggestions, that might make it better, along with some game announcements, that might make it all it should be cracked up to be. 

9. No low quality, at home interviews during the main show 

E3 has had a history of doing interviews during game shows to try and break pace a little, and keep people from being too excited, only to potentially be let down later. However, possibly the worst problem with Summer Game Fest last year, was the at home interviews, which broke pacing during game announcements in a way I can’t imagine was on purpose, and for many, was the time to take a bathroom break, or simply look away for a while. It’s important of course to hear from developers about their projects, and they can divulge some interesting information about games, that either puts something confusing into context, or is accidently leaked, but when we watch shows about game releases, we want to see the games. Interviews should be held in between shows, or better yet, the days following the conferences themselves. 

8. Nintendo finally talks about the big three 

While it’s safe to say Nintendo has done some banger numbers over the last year espeically, due to better console availability, which I never thought I’d say about Nintendo but here we are, it’s also safe to say that fans have been waiting for literal years on Bayonetta 3, Metroid Prime 4, and Breath of the Wild 2. While some have been more patient than others, and of course I understand there’s a flipping pandemic going on, Nintendo told us far too long ago about these games, or the restart of their development, and Breath of the Wild 2 was promised to at least get an update this year, and E3 seems like the best place to do it, especially after their last direct, one that was more than a year in waiting, and left so many people disappointed. And this is coming from someone who had literally only hoped to be excited about one thing, and it didn’t happen The future of how they present games, almost feels like it’s in question after such a show, which did not justify itself, so hopefully, they can finally let everyone walk away happy, and talk about the projects that have been generation the most excitement, for literal years now.

7. Space things out better

You might now know this, I only made one list about it after all, and literally no one reacted to it, but I’m a huge wrestling fan, and one of the promotions I watch, is WWE. Now, WWE is about to launch WrestleMania, their equal to E3 in a lot of ways, and are splitting it up over two days, and that goes for their third brand NXT as well, because they have a history of making the show sometimes 8 hours long. For fans of video games, watching The Game Awards, which can be two to three hours long, is arduous, and tiring, and E3, can also have that same effect. I remember in 2019, I literally fell asleep watching Bethesda’s conference, because I was so tired trying to write about the previous shows in between them, never mind actually watching them, that I was burnt out. Since E3 is going fully digital this year, and everyone is going to be in that same boat, it would be nice if we didn’t have too many shows, spanning over a near 12 hour period, which was happened before, making people stay up late to enjoy what they want to, or you know, work, which is free promotion for whatever gets announced. Spacing the shows out to no more than three a day, and giving people enough time to get their thoughts together, would just be really nice. 

6. Devolver Digital, tries a different style

Look, I don’t hate Devolver Digital’s approach to talking about games at E3, but what I do hate, is them telling the same jokes over and over again, and expecting everyone to laugh, because you know, it’s so funny when something that’s already been said, or shown, is modified ever so slightly for years on end. I’m not saying they can’t still tell jokes, please do, E3 is as much a good time as it is stressful depending on who you are, so the change of pace can at times be a lot of fun, but the last time they had a “conference”, it was a slog, and generally left me feeling annoyed, and I can’t help but feel I’m not the only one. They want to be different, I say that’s great, but they need to do it in a way that for one, is actually different, because their style has become a cliché in and of itself, and where they don’t spend time talking about fake games, because it’s hard to know at times what’s real and what isn’t. I honestly thought the last time they did one, the final game they talked about was just a play on the “one more thing” trope conferences have, and when I later realized it wasn’t, I never got that first sense of hype, and so lost interest, and that’s not a good business model. We don’t even know at this point if they’re going to declare for E3, and since it was announced late, it might be too hard to get a show at all, but if they do show up, or even when they next do a conference, it would be nice if they considered this line of thinking.

5. Drop the “Exclusive Online Portal” idea

Yeah I don’t know what the ESA was thinking with this one, but they mentioned that E3 will be streaming from an exclusive online portal, and not only do we not know what that means, but no one flipping cares! We’re all going to watching it on YouTube, Twitch, or dare I say it but it’s possible, Facebook Gaming, and any other platform is completely useless. We are all tired of hearing, download a new program to do a thing you can already do on other platforms, PC gamers especially, stop releasing new flipping launchers and...sorry, that’s for another list in the future perhaps, but the point stands. You might get streamers to download, or go to whatever site they need to, to watch the shows, but everyone else, is either going to watch those streams, or as it often happens, watch the highlights at a later time, so to add a potentially extra step to that process, is just not going to go anywhere, and since E3 will be free to watch, it’s not like this is going to be a good way to make money, unless you do plan to do the following...

4. Throwing flipping ads at everyone between shows or otherwise

Look, I get it, even an online show that’s going to be talking about games costs money to make, and so money must be made by other means, many of which are not available to the ESA without people actually being present, but the thing about E3 is, as much as we all love it, it is one massive ad, and even though it’s an add we like, it’s not one that needs too many ads thrown at it beyond what it already has. There are other, less annoying ways to make money, like having products from the games announced be available at a store online that people can access, that sees them getting part of the profit, or something of that nature, but this portal that was mentioned, seems like a place where the ESA can just throw ads at people all day, and that just seems like a horrible idea. A lot of people don’t see E3 as an ad, even though it absolutely is, and blowing away the smoke and mirrors that it’s not, by throwing countless ads at people for the sake of trying to make money, might be the end of E3 as we know it. 

3. Don’t spend too much time talking about games that are coming out close to the event, or just came out

Like I said, E3 is one big, massive ad, and for the most part, that’s totally alright, but E3 also has a habit of sneaking in little bits talking about games, that are coming out during the week of, or very close to the shows, to the point of being annoying. Most of the time these ads are short, show nothing new, and generally kill the pace of the conferences on display. While it’d be one thing to try and shadow drop a game this way, because we all love a good shadow drop, we really don’t need ads for games like FF7 Intergrade, Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart, or flipping Mario Golf: Super Rush. We know those games are coming, we are paying attention, give us a little credit, and save that for games that could use the push like Neptunia: ReVerse, Legend of Mana, or maybe even Scarlett Nexus who actually in way, has to compete with Mario Golf. This might be more a developer problem, and E3 itself might actually have little to no control over this, but whoever does it, needs to do it right.

2. Xbox needs to stop lying, and go big

I love Xbox, I really do, for whatever reason it’s become my go to place for physical indie games, and whenever I want to play a shooter, I start thinking green, but in their conferences, Phil Spencer has a tendency to oversell what Xbox is going to show, by talking about how many games are going to be at the show, or by constantly mentioning how Xbox is more powerful than it’s competitor consoles, like it does any good for the bottom line of the company. I don’t want to hear Phil say they are going to show off 80 games during their show, and have half of them be ports, or shown off in a montage. Doing that means everyone has to go look up a large portion of what they actually announce to learn anything, and that’s no fun. I don’t want montages during E3 at all, and while I’m at it, Xbox espeically needs to bring in the big guns. I’m talking Halo Infinite, Gears 6, the next Forza game, and maybe, finally, a Japanese exclusive title that will get people really hyped. Xbox might just have free reign over the show on the day they present, but another show that has extremely mixed opinions like in 2019, might not be the best thing ever. 

1. GET. SONY. 

Obviously we know that Sony and the PlayStation brand haven’t been associated with E3 for a while now, and I get it, it’s kind of hard to justify going down to L.A. every year, when an online digital show, saves a whole bunch of money, and can get people just as hyped as if they had been there, but this year, everything is online, and Sony’s State of Play’s have been a mixed reaction as a whole. Taking them to E3 not only sets up more hype for them, but it also gives people something they really need right now, something close to the norm, with all of console developers, showing off their best. E3 2019, just felt weaker, and too safe without Sony there, and last year was a total, long winded disaster because of Summer Game Fest. If the ESA is really going to go for this, and give it an earnest shot, and give us the best that they can, they need Sony to show up and blow our minds with, I don’t know, God of War 2, Spyro 4 (hopefully) and a new IP or two to really get the show to being considered one of the best. E3 will probably be alright regardless of if they are there or not, but if they are, the chances of it being truly great, go up in spades. 

And that’s my list, did I miss anything else you can think of? Let me know in the comments below, like this list if it interested you, reblog it if you love it, and have a wonderful day. 

[ceallachs]

thank you.

This announcement is a little overdue, but I’ve gained over 1k followers on this blog! 🥳🥳🥳

I actually passed this milestone a while ago. Life has just been getting to me with so much to do that I can only manage a couple of drawings at a time. So I don’t have anything special other than my heartfelt thanks and some words. Under this post, I address a lot of things in regards to my art journey, fandoms, future plans with BakuTodo, and a lot of it is about AkaKuro.

So if you are interested, please read on. If you’re here just to check my art, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to let my work be part of your day and for your support. ^^

.

I know I was mostly only posting KnB/AkaKuro stuff until only a couple months ago, so the change from KnB to BNHA was pretty drastic and nerve-racking. I’ve been thinking of making the move as early as December 2019, but I hesitated for the longest time. As someone who has built their fandom “identity” around AkaKuro and KnB, making that move to another fandom, to another OTP even, may have come as a surprise to a lot of my old followers and friends. I do not keep track of every individual followers I get; surely some have left, or maybe some still stick around to see if I will get back to AkaKuro again, one day.

Interests are fleeting and people change constantly. In a time where people always jump onto the next big thing to another in a short span of time, I can say that I have a pretty good streak of committing to my main fandoms. My first online fandom lasted for seven years. The next was KnB, and this one lasted for nine years.

I was a teenager when I joined the KnB fandom and now I’m in my 20s. I still love AkaKuro with all my heart; it will always be a big part of who I am, but I have to admit at some point where I am now in life, and I will say I have already moved on.

This is an excerpt from my Twitter that I thought I should also address here because it sums up everything I’ve wanted to say. I’ve made some major tweaks and edits and added more things to properly articulate my feelings about the matter. I hope it is understandable enough.

It started in November.

In the first few months of dabbling with BakuTodo, I was very, very scared. I was worried because I was such a prominent person for the AkaKuro fandom; I hosted and held events for years, I stayed "active" for AkaKuro even five years after KnB had ended. I wrote fics, drew stuff, promoted every AkaKuro thing I can even when all my AkaKuro friends have moved on. I have so much AkaKuro merch and doujins because it had taken over my life that prominently. 

So after all of that, I didn't know what would happen with a change because I felt like I was already in too deep to move on now. I wasn't sure if I could (should) like anything else, or if I was even allowed to like something else as deeply as AkaKuro without letting people down.

Eventually I just gave in three months later and became more vocal about this new interest. I lost followers which was expected, even those whose handles that became very familiar to me because they actively interacted with me about AkaKuro and KnB before. It stung but not as badly as I thought it would. The change was nice; I felt free.

I think it's only now that I've become comfortable to admit all this in public. To admit my worries, to admit that I've liked a ship more than AkaKuro for a while, to admit that the weight of AkaKuro being prominently tied to my name like an identity has become too heavy a burden to bear. I still do love AkaKuro, it's a part of my life that will never change, I think. But it's also not my main source of happiness nor inspiration anymore, and I hope that, it's okay for me to feel that way now that I've said it out loud.

It's strange to explain, but I think it's because I've dedicated a huge chunk of my life to AkaKuro that I think I've already exhausted all I have to give for it. Nine years of being solely dedicated to one ship is a long time, you have to admit. It's not like my other ships that are more casual, so that burst of excitement will always be present when it gets brought up once in a while. With AkaKuro, my feelings for it have significantly mellowed down, like a precious memory now tucked away in a special place in my heart.

A friend told me that it's okay to move on, and that somewhere down the line AkaKuro will become something I'll look back on fondly even though bittersweet. I have no doubts that'll be the case. But it's also nice to finally just be honest and set myself free.

I've also been feeling very guilty of promising an AkaKuro zine last December and now... it is just the last thing on my mind. I have so much more I want to do that is no longer about AkaKuro, and I shouldn’t force myself to do this zine out of obligation. But if ever someone else were to host an AkaKuro zine, I will support it and even participate if the timing is right.

About my future plans, I don’t think I will be drawing KnB again out of leisure (maybe for commissions, or projects, etc). I still have a lot of unfinished and unreleased KnB fanmerch though (an AkaKuro yukata standee and Carnival AkaKuro standee, and maybe a re-release of some old charms for the last time), so that may be the last of my contribution to this ship out of my own volition for a while. It would be a waste to scrap them.

Right now, all my love and inspiration for anything creative and self-indulgent is being driven by BakuTodo and it’s the best feeling I’ve had in a long time. I want to draw more about them; I have long list of ideas I’m excited to get into. Not only that, my love for writing was reawakened too, and I hope to also post fics about them along with my art.

I still love AkaKuro, and people can still talk to me about AkaKuro, but it is definitely not my priority ship anymore. Who knows if I'll come back to it again, but for right now, I hope everyone will be okay with the change. And if not, that's okay too and I expected it, I also put this out here to give the go signal if anyone wants to unfollow or not. I know there are people who only follow for specific content, and I've come to terms with myself to be okay with this happening with me.

Just know I'm happy where I am. I'm grateful to friends and acquaintances who still stick around to support me even after this, and I also understand if some don’t. I hope those who leave will find another content creator to cater to their needs. Thanks for giving me a chance. ^^

I hope this clears up the kind of content to be expected from me from now on. I will never forget my time in the KnB fandom because this is where it all started for me. I will also be slowly getting rid of more AkaKuro doujins, fanmerch, and official merch collection once the lockdown situation eases up. Hopefully someone else will find homes for them.

Tumblr is not my main social media but I still do like the format of blogging here, so I stay to cross-post my art from Twitter and Instagram. 

From exclusively drawing cheebs, I’m now also drawing non-cheebs and I’m having a lot of fun. My art is far from perfect and that’s okay. As someone who gave up on art for nine years, being able to do it again now, sharing and posting my art and actually be happy about it is more than enough for me. I’m not striving for perfection, I know where my level is at. Drawing and writing are both hobbies I hold dear -- a creative outlet for me to express my love for what I’m currently passionate about and what makes me happy. I really appreciate it if you stay with me for this ride because I know I’ve come a long way these past 2-3 years.

To anyone who views my art, likes and reblogs, leaves nice comments and all, I hope you know that I appreciate you a lot. I rarely get messages on here, but I do read tags on my posts often, and going through them always puts a smile on my face to know that I have an audience here who genuinely likes what I do.

There isn’t much more for me to say here so I think that will be all. Again, thank you for 1k+ followers! If I can make even just a single person happy with my art, whether you’re new here or just dropping by or have been following me for a long time, I’ll be content. And if I can make someone like BakuTodo too through how I portray them, that’d be even more amazing. ^^

Until next time. 💖

[smolie]

in december i wrote a 2020 year music review for myself that i intended to post here BUT...because i was infamously restricted twice last year, i didn’t bother since you wouldn’t be able to read it anyway because it was not possible to view my blog hjfdhfd

now that my restricted era is (hopefully forever) over i just want to post it here for the sake of completion since i want to do the same thing this year

this is really long so if you actually read it ... idk you are insane in the membrane and i love you... but i genuinely don’t expect anyone to read this hjfdhjf i just like reflecting on the music i have listened to and be able to look back on what i enjoyed in certain stages of my life! okiiii bye 💗

january

mac miller - circles (album) it’s a bit funny that i worried putting my thoughts down about this album and now it turns out to be first on the list, chronologically of course … oh bittersweet irony </3 listening to this album is such a double edged sword, either way i am always hit with a truckload of feelings when i turn to this release.

this album came to me in a time of my life where i was slowly but surely sliding down towards rock bottom again just after i got out of it and thought i was okay. the times i’ve listened to this crying in the bathtub with a glass of wine….girl let’s not lol…. it’s almost strange how much i can relate to the thoughts another person brought to paper. the comfort this album brings me is otherworldly, i feel so understood by mac’s words and it’s my go-to “wallow in self-pity for a bit then come out stronger than before” album. then again, i feel a little sting when any of mac’s songs come on shuffle. a friend of mine said she cannot listen to artists who have passed because it feels too strange and most of the time i agree but this time, it’s so so different. this album would have been mac’s salvation, i can feel it. everything would have been a bit brighter and lighter for him after this, it would have had to be. i feel like i would do him a disservice if i did not listen to this album, so i will cherish this final gift from him as his legacy and my comfort. i miss him incredibly and am all the more thankful he shared his heart with us.

album favs: circles, good news, surf

tiny meat gang - broke bitch (single) MAN I TELL THAT BROKE BITCH IF YOU WANNA GET IN TUNE BETTER CHANGE YOUR WHOLE PITCH LIKE WOAH !!!!!!!!!! did that give you whiplash? hehe funny to say this about a song called broke bitch by a duo called tiny meat gang but this song actually means a lot to me! it came out shortly before their show in berlin and i almost exclusively listened to it on my 7+ hours train ride from one side of the country to the other to see my meat boys. this played out of the fat ass speakers at the venue when they stepped on the stage and i will never forget meeting them :’) also the song fucking slaps obviously

february

loona - [#] (mini album) ah yes, the most controversial loona release to date! i’m not gonna lie and say this sounded anything like i expected it to. but also, i have come to terms with the fact that loona release noise music now and personally i am here for it. why not did not have the endless energy of hi high or otherworldly vibe of butterfly, but it’s a hype song and i am always there for hype. i also have to say the b-sides were not as strong for me as on previous releases but i think i have to come to peace with the fact that loona will never top their debut mini for me. though if i can wish for one thing…… let loona have title tracks with a chorus in 2021? pls? crumbs?

album favs: so what, oh (yes i am)

tame impala - the slow rush (album) *lights cigarette* i’m listening to pretty underground music….i don’t think you’ve heard of this band….they are called tame impala *intro of the less i know the better starts playing* yes i am a basic white bitch and listen to like 3 alternative bands but damn i listen to them religiously. like any other basic bitch on this planet i found out about tame impala through the less i know the better and checked out their music. i wasn’t too much into this album as i was into currents but towards the end of the year, i was in a moody alternative music slump that took me back to this album and i like it a lot more now! most importantly, tame impala fulfills my primitive urge to listen to songs that exceed the 4 minute mark. something clicks in my brain when i see a song that is like 6:34 and chances that it ends up as one of my faves on a album are high. i enjoy tiktok like everyone else but this trend of 2:50 long songs needs to be stopped immediately.

album favs: borderline, lost in yesterday, it might be time, is it true, posthumous forgiveness

honorary mentions: onlyoneof - dOra maar, everglow - dundun

march

nct 127 - neo zone (album) ah, yes. the album that fundamentally changed me as a person <3 i’ve been listening to nct for a while, matter of fact i checked my top tracks 2019 playlist on spotify and cherry bomb was on there lol. i remember trying to get into them in 2018 when they released their regular-irregular album but the endless member & unit concept scared me off, so i only listened to a handful of songs without looking into them march 2020, the fateful month in which they released kick it and screencaps of jaehyun’s sexy ass tiddies in the kick it mv landed on my tumblr or twitter and i HAD to look up who this man is…...remember when i thought jaehyun was my ult for like, 2 weeks? me neither, johnny suh only in this house <3

anyway, i checked out this album and by god, is this pure kpop perfection. last time i listened to a god tier no skip album like this was … maybe the perfect red velvet? hype songs, well crafted ballads, love songs that make me wanna learn the lyrics, genuinely fun and interesting pop songs, this album has it all. somehow, the way this album is crafted greatly reminds me of brown eyed girls’ sound-g, it has the same vibe, concept and mix of genres to me, i’m not entirely sure how to explain. anyway, this album is one of my favorites of all time and even though i’ve obsessively listened to it (lastfm says 1.4k scrobbles as of today, december 7th…) i am still not tired of this. i recommend this to anyone who loves kpop tbh, you will have a good time with this!

other than being just a musically solid album, the emotional ties i have with this are …. isabel stop making albums your emotional support 2021 challenge. i’ve listened to this release all spring lockdown, this basically played at every waking hour for all of march and april. the promotion time of this era and lockdown are deeply intertwined for me and so i am always remembered of all the nct content i consumed during that time which inevitably cheered me up so much. this album really means a lot to me :’)

album favs: kick it, mad dog, love song, boom

honorary mentions: itzy - wannabe,

the weeknd - after hours (album) my dear melchanoly, was one of my favorite releases of 2018, so i had been desperate for a new release by abel and boy did he not disappoint. the perfect thotty, dirty emo 80s, making it clap while crying in the club album! this is a no skip from top to bottom and all i can say is that the grammys can go to hell <3 abel aoty! there is really not much i can say about this album, the flawless production, lyrics and sound speak for themself. my only criticism is that i feel overwhelmed by 14 songs, especially when some of them are really long. a few songs greatly overshadow the weaker tracks on the album for me but i still love this to death.

album favs: escape from LA, blinding lights, after hours, faith

dua lipa - future nostalgia (album) after the weeknd’s masterpiece of an 80s inspired pop album i was really looking forward to this. i greatly enjoyed the pre-releases, i played don’t start now and physical up and down, they are still some of my favorite songs released this year! when i first listened to the album i really liked it, songs like boys will be boys or pretty please sound like fillers to be but the rest is solid. yet a month after release you couldn’t catch me listening to this and i cannot even really tell you why. i think it was a combination of the following: 1) i greatly overplayed dsn and physical to the point where i didn’t want more of the pop 80s sound that the album has 2) there were other releases at the time that caught my attention and interest more like neo zone or after hours 3) dua herself….girl….she really gave it her all this year to make herself as unlikeable as possible. nationalist propaganda and the constant traveling during a fucking pandemic were really the kicker. i can barely stand seeing her on my instagram feed anymore, much less listen to her album. her having the nerve to go “we’re in a pandemic lol” when people asked about an animated music video …. if you don’t shut the hell up lmao … also, she takes the crown for the corniest album opener of all time. i nearly closed spotify when i heard future nostalgia (the song) lmao

album favs: don’t start now, physical, levitating, hallucinate

honorary mentions: megan thee stallion - savage

april

apink - dumhdurum (song)

listen, i’m not gonna sit here and pretend like this mini album interested me in the slightest but god, the title is such a banger.i’m so sick, eung eung and dumhdurum are a holy trilogy that i will defend until the end of time! i really hope apink stick to this mature, elegant concept, it suits them so well and goes well with their new sound. come back soon queens <3

rina sawayama - xs (song) i feel like i’m gonna catch some hands here … xs is an absolute banger, the guitar riffs and disruptive sounds really get me going every damn time! but the rest of the album … tell me why it doesn’t catch me?! i literally cannot explain. i need to take an hour, sit down and do nothing but listen to the album from top to bottom once again and see if my thoughts change but right now i only care about xs.

chungha - stay tonight (song) drama! vocals! dance break! choreography! this release served it all. i listened to this obsessively during the time of the release and it still holds up today. can we talk about the run chungha had with gotta go > snapping > stay tonight? lord have mercy.

honorary mentions: april - lalalilala, nct dream - ridin’

may

lady gaga - chromatica (album) the immense disappointment i have in this album is tough to put into words lol. any other artist might have gotten away with this release but gaga having the discography that she has, well … she doesn’t get away with it. this has underwhelming all over it. i enjoyed the pre-releases and my hope was high but the rest just doesn’t live up what i expected, i can’t even say why. it’s just underwhelming pop for someone of gaga’s calibre. i listened to this album during release week and then never again till december to write this list and i can see why.

album favs: rain on me, sour candy ft. blackpink, stupid love

baekhyun - delight (mini album) it’s confession time … this is a name i never would have expected on any of my music lists to end up. exo has always been one of those boy groups i casually listened to. i greatly enjoy their title tracks and a handful of side tracks, i have a few members that i keep an eye on more than others but that’s about it. baekhyun was never one of those members i had any interest in, matter of fact i always thought he was kinda vanilla and boring 😭 i didn’t even plan on listening to this release if it wasn’t for his association with superm and thus nct, so i gave it a shot and we have no choice but to stan. his voice is like butter and can cut sharp at the same time, his versatility is insane. i dived a bit more into baekhyun related content and he is so likeable, it’s almost ridiculous. this production is absolute god tier, not a single skip on this mini. late spring/early summer i had this weird urge to listen to songs with mellow voices but still a banger instrumental and i wholeheartedly blame this release. matter of fact, this album is so good, i had to buy a physical copy. Y’ALL. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. i haven’t bought a kpop album of anyone that’s not holy top 3 (brown eyed girls, loona, nct) in like … idk, 5 years?! baekhyun’s impact. i’m a fan now <3

album favs: candy, r u ridin’?, love again

ak aussenkontrolle - in meinem benz (song) this … is very unrelated to this entirely list but i had to put it on here. i miss my ex boss and our 3 hour drives to meetings in the south of the country where we would blast trashy german rap music </3

nct 127 - neo zone: the final round (repackage) *airhorns* REEEPACKAGE TIIIIIME!!! my first nct era that i experienced from start to finish! i remember watching nct 127’s beyond live with luna where these mfs performed punch and we finished the concert having no idea what this song sounded like. the structure is so unusual and the intro catches me off-guard every time just to hype me up beyond compare. not gonna lie, the fact that johnny has exactly one (1) line hurts but! it’s my favorite line of the entire song! possibly related to the fact that it’s his line but let’s ignore that ….

album favs: punch, make your day

kim woo seok - red moon (song) i’m not even gonna lie to you. i have not a single idea who this man is. you could put him right in front of me and i wouldn’t know … all i know is that he has a banger song. i saw him perform this on a music show that i watched for nct and i ended up loving the song … thanks for your service sir, whoever you are ...

june

stray kids - go live (album) 2020 was kind of the year of boy groups for me, i’m so sorry … stray kids promoted simultaneously with nct 127 so i ended up hearing their title track and holy hell, is that a song. god’s menu is hype from start to finish. it reminds me of good ol’ 2nd gen noise boy group song a lá b*g b*ng fantastic baby. just pure hype and fun noise. i am forever grateful to witness the birth of the line cooking like a chef, i’m a five star michelin. the title track impressed me so much that i ended up checking out the entire album which i rarely ever do with boy groups and what is even rarer is that i enjoyed the b sides lmao!!! it’s not an album that i would put on and just enjoy from start to finish but it has some really solid tracks! this release made me want to keep an eye on stray kids, they seem like a really fun bunch.

album favs: god’s menu, TA, airplane

seventeen - left & right (song) the boy group run continues … same thing with stray kids, seventeen promoted during punch era so i heard their song while watching some music station show for nct and i heard this and was sold. solid, fun pop with the catchiest pre-chorus in history and a banger chorus. i listened to the entire mini and can’t say it really caught my interest so this is a title track only release for me.

dishonorary mentions: twice - more & more (i hate this song so much lol)

honorary mentions: ryu sejeong - tiger eyes, monsta x - fantasia, chloe x halle - do it

july

irene & seulgi - monster (mini) this is a weird release because it’s good. the title track is fun enough, the b sides are dope. but my issue with this is that it’s nothing new. this sounds exactly like a red velvet release. i get that they didn’t want to a  joy, seulgi, irene, yeri release only and went for the sub-unit route instead, but why not be experimental and stray away from the usual sound of the group? also, whoever made monster and not naughty the title track deserves to be spat on. at least the choreography here is more interesting and “experimental” for kpop standards. also, why only a seulgi solo and no irene? i have no idea how reveluvs reacted to this release but this has rushed written all over it.

album favs: monster, naughty (i’m counting this to the mini idc), uncover

exo-sc - 1 billion views (mini) doing my part as a filthy casual exo listener. this release goes in the same category as baekhyun’s delight where i like the album so much that i HAD to get a physical copy. i don’t know what they put in the title track for it to be so diddly darn addictive but it clearly worked. the only bad thing about this release is how criminally mismanaged it was by sm, when i get you lee sooman ...

album favs: 1 billion views, on me, say it

baekhyun - garden in the air (song) i told you i’m a loyal baekhyun fan now <3 king releases and i listen, that’s just how it goes now! this is a cover of a boa song and i really love his version. there is not much to say except that it’s a really smooth song and his voice absolutely carries the track. i enjoyed this much more than i thought i would!

hyoyeon - dessert (song) YOU KNOW WHAT I DESERVE??? DESSERT!!!!!!! *insert tik tok challenge here* imagine if miryo featured on this instead of the ethnic hip girl … why can’t we have nice things. anyway, a banger!

johnny - sunny side up episode 1 set (spotify playlist, actual set) johnny being the skilled, talented, multi-faceted king that he is has been dj-ing since before debut (not me acting like i was around at that time lmao) and thus he decided to bless our quarantined, lockdowned asses with an online dj set! that was the most turned up sunday morning i ever had in my entire life. this set kicked off an edm/house/techno affinity that i had for the following couple of weeks. this set is an absolute banger, i would go insane to this in the club. he has an amazing ear for transitions and drops and i still just put on this set on the regular when i have cleaning to do or so. he could fill the void that rona and thus no clubbing in 2020 left in my heart and i’m so happy he decided to share this with us <3 now … john … sunny side up episode 2 pspspspspsps

honorary mentions: gfriend - apple, jessi - nunu nana

august

cardi b ft. megan thee stallion - wap (song) late summer 2021. we are vaccinated, icu beds are free, barely any new cases, clubs are open, this song plays and i can finally make it fucking clap.

troye sivan - in a dream (mini album) a cute mini album! nothing life-changing or as exciting as previous releases but easy (haha!) to enjoy. i really, really enjoy easy, can always count on troye for a dreamy sound.

album favs: easy

honorary mentions: itzy - not shy

september

wonho - love synonym pt. 1: right for me (mini album) honestly? i know like, 3 monsta x songs. i never bothered to get into them and maybe i never will, but it was difficult to ignore the whole wonho & monsta x mess that went on. i have absolutely no memory of why i decided to check out this release, i guess i was curious what he was going to do and … i was positively surprised lol. open mind is the exact time of song i had been so desperate all summer (remember mellow vocals with banger instrumentals? yeah) and uhm … can’t ignore the obvious … mr wonho is fucking fine. sir, you just gained a fan … now, where is love synonym part 2?? huh?????

album favs: open mind, i just, losing you

joji - nectar (album) this one is on tiktok. i heard gimme love in a bunch of tiktoks and had to look up the song and here we are. what an album! it came right as seasonal depression started to hit and accompanied me for a good chunk of autumn. at this point one has to ask if joji can ever really miss? the entire album is a no skip, it’s almost difficult to narrow down my favorites if my favorites weren’t so damn god tier!!!

album favs: gimme love, ew, tick tock, pretty boy, your man

super m - tiger inside / 100 / drip (songs) okay, listen. technically tiger inside & 100 were already released in august. instead of those three songs i was gonna write about the entire album until i realized i really don’t give a fuck about it 😭 i really only care about those three songs. and YES, i unironically like 100. is it a good song? no. but neither is jopping and that fucking bangs. i don’t turn to superm for life-changing, profound music, i turn to them for a good time LOL and that’s what they deliver every time! that being said, taeyong’s VROOM VROOM, UHMM UHMM, GRRRAHHHH verse is life-changing and profound! speak your truth king! also i wish drip was a b side for nct 127 that song is so damn sexy

taemin - never gonna dance again act 1 (album) this isn’t kpop, this is taemin pop. taemin never misses and the fact that hw*s* won dance performance over taemin is a literal hate crime. i will never forget the industry for this daylight robbery … anyway, nice album!!!!

album favs: criminal, black rose, waiting for

stray kids - in life (repackage) *airhorns* REPACKAGE TIIIIME 2.0!!!! i was on the edge of my seat waiting what stray kids were going to deliver after i greatly enjoyed god’s menu. i was still not over listening god’s menu when the repackage came out so i didn’t listen to it right away and now i greatly regret the few days i could have listened to back door earlier </3

album favs: back door, any

jackson wang - pretty please (song) i’m not gonna pretend like i ever listened to a song by jackson ever before. he is short king from got7 in my head and that’s all! i don’t even remember why i listened to this song but all i know is that it slaps severely. i love the wong kar wai inspired music video and the choreography is fun too! i’m gonna check out more of his music <3

honorary mentions: fromis9 - feel good, knk - ride

october

blackpink - the album (album, duh) i don’t even know what to say about this … this might be the weirdest release on the list for me. there are song i absolutely fucking hate (ice cream …) and songs i get my life to (pretty savage) on here and the discrepancy just gives me massive whiplash. i would never put this album on and listen to the whole body of work, i just cannot with the brain damage it gives me. i am still stuck in 2016, begging for bp to release music like whistle/boombayah/stay/playing with fire but i think i need to give up on that wishful thinking … i am just grateful we a got a title track with actual lyrics in the chrous for once.

album favs: pretty savage, lovesick girls

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 1 (album) this era was … a ride. nct 2020 happening was near inevitable but with covid it got pushed back so far, i started to believe it wasn’t even going to happen. i was semi-terrified of what was going to happen during a comeback with 21 (now 23!!) member group since i only experienced nct 127 comebacks so far and uhh … a LOT happened lmfao but let’s keep this about the album … i had no idea what was going to hit me. johnny having effectively 3 lines in nct 2018 did not give me much hope and after he got denoted to no line treatment in punch again, i was ready to not even have any expectation but this release changed everything. make no mistake that most of my favorite songs are units with johnny, we knew that was gonna happen lmaooo they dropped the teaser video for misfit and i thought i had my favorite song in the bag and then faded in my last song happened. y’all. JOHNNY SINGS? LIKE? ACTUALLY SINGS? DOESN’T GET FORCED TO RAP OR TALK-SING? MY MAN’S VOCALS??? OH MY GAAAAHD! this song is dramatic, theatrical, emo, it serves vocals and rap, it has catchy english and korean lyrics, this is THE song, the ULTIMATE song. i love this song so much, i want to belt it on top of my lungs in the pouring rain. apart from fimls, i also loveeee misfit, that was to be expected after i was going completely insane over the track video. johnny has like 3 lines but again they are iconic (WARNIN’! NCT WE MOBBIN’!) and i just enjoy the track too much to be upset over that. nectar. holy fuck. nectar!!!! wayv never disappoints with their thotty songs, they now have an absolute god tier hoe-ly song trinity with love talk > bad alive > nectar. the first chorus and hendery’s first verse (CHOP CHOP CHOP!) get me every time, this song is so insanely good i am severely upset i cannot sing along to it :( music, dance has nct 127 written all over it in bold letters, it’s so inherently 127’s sound!!!! i love this song so much, it’s so fun, upset and has massive dance-ability, i wish we had gotten a stage for it but i guess you can’t have everything in life </3 make a wish……………………………..the cursed unit. i don’t want to say anything about this except that, unfortunately, the song is fun and i enjoy it. the end. overall, this album is so insanely solid. i know i talk about my favorites A LOT but i genuinely do not dislike a single song on here, this is an absolute no skip album! that’s it. see you for resonance part 2!!!!!

album favs: FADED IN MY LAST SONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, misfit, nectar, music dance, make a wish

loona - 12:00 (mini album) controversial loona release 2.0! i don’t know what it is, but somehow they managed to lace the words di da dam di dam di dam dam dam dam di dam (yeah) with pure crack. i fucking love why not, i would even go as far to say it’s my 2nd favorite title track. that is right, i think it’s better than butterfly (btw: hi high > why not > butterfly > so what). so much was strange this comeback, from the inexplicable concept + teasers, the outfits, the styling (yves….i mourn your hot girl era) but the title track is just SO good, SO fun, SO catchy that i am willing to ignore it all. i also enjoy the b sides much more than on #, they are much more memorable to me. and now … HASEUL RETURN…………….i purely live to see the next loona comeback at this point

album favs: why not, voice, universe

twice - i can’t stop me (song) thank fuck twice released a good song this year. if more & more had been the only 2020 release, that would have been the real tragedy. not gonna lie, i still haven’t listened to the full album, it just keeps slipping my mind. but! i’m going to! until then i’m gonna bop to i can’t stop me.

ariana grande - positions (album) the way this album has people upset is so funny. i am a huge dangerous woman fan myself, it’s my fave ariana album to date but she has said repeatedly that this is not the sound she is striving for. now she has her coin and can do whatever she wants in music and if that is r’n’b then fuck! we have to live with it! lmao! i can live with the sex theme of the album because it’s delivered in a fun way? but it’s getting a bit old...if the next album is about riding dick only too idk how much i would enjoy that. i would probably always come back to ari because i like her voice so much but girl, there are other topics to sing about, i promise! anyway! i like this album, it’s one of those where i can hit shuffle and enjoy it in the background while doing other stuff.

album favs: positions, 34 + 35, love language, my hair, pov

tiny meat gang - sofia (song) ayyy, it’s my meat boys :’) ending the year the same way they started it, with a banger! i absolutely love the guitar instrumental, the melancholic love song type sound paired with the theme of singing about loving a robot … yup, that’s creativity and talent right here! this makes me so freaking desperate for a new ep and i genuinely have no idea how far or close we are to one but!!! i am always waiting!!!

noel - push (ep) this is something i absolutely did not expect. noel (of tiny meat gang!) released his first ep ever and i was absolutely wowed. noel has it all, the voice, the talent, the creativity and all it took him was the confidence to finally put something out and i’m so happy he did. he gets real personal on bus back, more than ever before and i always get a bit emo listening to this track </3 this man is gonna go places and i’m so happy to witness his journey.

album favs: crow, head sunk, bus back

honorary mentions: sam smith - diamonds

november

taemin - never gonna dance again act 2 (album) i’m gonna say it. idea is better than criminal. the chorus drop???? when he goes MY AH AH  MY AH AH MY AH MY IDEA MY MY IDEAAAAAA A-A-A A-A-A???? bitch … tell me you can sit still, i won’t believe you. i like part 2’s title track more, but part 1’s b sides are more interesting to me. either way, taemin delivered as expected!!

album favs: idea, impressionable, exclusive

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 2 (album) part two, baby! we made it! part 2 had more mellow, ballad-y songs with my everything, i.o.u. and all about you, overall less drama than part 1 but i still enjoyed it. work it is one of those controversial songs where you despise it with your entire being or you defend this top tier noise till the end and i am absolutely the latter. the agony of not being able to listen to it and seeing the timeline so divided nearly killed me, but i have concluded that people who hate work it have never felt joy in their life <3 honestly my opinion cannot be counted because i eat up anything johnny participates in … biased ass… what i’m not gonna talk about is resonance (the song), this absolute mess of a “remix”. the audacity sm had to release this as a single is insane. anyway!! this era was a rollercoaster ride. all the interactions truly made me interested in members of other units more. hendery (the rise and fall …), yangyang my beautiful son, jeno aka blue hair guy, chenle the chaos kid and xiaojun after he made make a wish his bitch in particular! all the interactions between the units were so fun to witness and it was fun while it lasted but i am … so glad it’s over lol. i miss nct 127, i miss some peace, i hope the boys get to rest for a bit and so does my bank account.

album favs: work it, 90s love, i.o.u., raise the roof

miley cyrus - plastic hearts (album) not in a thousand years would i have expected a miley release to be on here. this girl does everything to be absolutely unlikeable in my eyes but after severely banging out to her heart of glass cover, i was really excited for this and it did not disappoint. what is disappointing is that it took her so long to find a sound that fits her like a glove. i believe many people miss out on this release after her previous history and i nearly would have done the same. this alt/rock influenced pop does her voice so many favors and i really hope she sticks to this direction, i love this album greatly!!

album favs: heart of glass, midnight sky, night crawling ft. billy joel, wtf do i know

kai - kai (mini album) just. imagine debuting with an album like that. lol. what a god tier big dick move. we all knew whatever this release was gonna be, above all it was going to be sexy and boy were we RIGHT!!!! mmmh is exactly as thotty as i needed it to be and the b sides give me everything from r’n’b to trap. i love this release and i love that it’s only the beginning of kai! like!! he is only gonna gain even more experience and become even more powerful!! what the fuck!!!!!

album favs: mmmh, ride or die, hello stranger, nothing on me

honorary mentions. gfriend - mago

december

nothing? wtf?? 😭 no interesting release happened,,,,half the time i listened to christmas songs anyway lol

pre 2020 releases i only found this year

mgmt - little dark age (album, 2018) & oracular spectactular (album, 2007) another tiktok serve. i found little dark age through a tiktok trend and ended up really liking mgmt. they fit perfectly into my autumn/winter moody alt/rock mood that i had going on and i’m happy they have so much more music that i can check out!

artist favs: little dark age, electric feel, time to pretend

tame impala - currents (album, 2015) everyone’s favorite basic alt bitch album! i enjoyed this more than the slow rush for a good chunk of time, it also fit right into my alt rock autumn mood. i really love this album, like previously mentioned it has my favorite long ass tracks on there but also a good amount of short or medium long tracks. i’m still busy enjoying currents and the slow rush but i can’t wait till i finally take the leap to dive into their other releases because i’m loving everything i’ve heard so far.

album favs: the less i know the better, let it happen, new person same old mistakes

joji - ballads 1 (2018) after liking nectar so much, checking joji out was a given and i just love this album. only when i listened to this i realized i heard slowly dancing in the dark a few times on tiktok lmao that cursed app man … i would say i love nectar a bit more but this is still a fantastic album!!

album favs: slowly dancing in the dark, attention, test drive, yeah right

jus2 - focus (mini album, 2019) in my “mellow moody bangers” phase i was scouring playlists for more songs and i think i found focus on me first which fitted right into the niche i was looking to fill and i ended up enjoy this whole release! only later i realized this is a sub-unit from got7 lmao how come i enjoy solo or unit releases by got7 members but their group discography never interested me? anyway, very sexy ep!

album favs: drunk on you, focus on me, love talk

knk - sunset (song, 2019) part of my mellow bangers playlist. very sexy, i can imagine this as a runway song! i have no idea who knk are but given the fact i enjoyed two of their songs so far maybe i should look into them lol

baekhyun - city lights (mini album, 2019) i am repenting for my sins of missing out on baekhyun releases by consuming his music at an exorbitant rate. un village is one hell of a title track that i didn’t appreciate before, but i feel like in 2020 my music interests started to vary and i love the groovy r’n’b and string sound of this song so much. i also love stay up to death, the vocals baekhyun serves here are unreal. his BABY WE CAN STAY UP!!!!!!! gets me every single time!!!! what a mini!

album favs: un village, stay up

mac miller - swimming (album, 2018) i’ve listened to this album before 2020 but i had the urge to put this on here. this is going to sound so corny, but if i had to pick one song to be my life’s title track, it would be ladders. the hope this song gives me is unreal, it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. this album is so fantastic, i love the upbeat instrumentals paired with sometimes gloomy lyrics are so incredible, mac was truly one of the greatest artists of our time. this album is  so outstanding and i miss him every day.

album favs: ladders, jet fuel, 2009, self care, perfecto

doja cat - hot pink (album, 2019) i can never decide if i like doja or not but the album slaps lol that’s it come on tiktok queen

album favs: say so, juicy, like that, streets

my fav 2020 playlists

slapping mellow

neo culture technology

malcolm

why go to therapy when this playlist exists?

top songs 2020

(by spotify)

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

Littlest Winchester - Part 2

[this gif makes me laugh]

Part 2 – Typhoid Mary

Summary: Sapphire is sick while her dad and uncle are out on a hunt. She thinks she’s well enough to help find Jack.

Warnings: sick OC reader, puking, tooth rotting fluff.

a/n: Reader/Sapphire: 11 years old; Set during Season: 13

a/n #2: Figured I’d write a fluffy fic for Jen @supernatural-jackles​ one of my favorite fan fic authors on this platform, and one of a few who have inspired me to write, hopefully this helps put a smile on your face and feel all warm and fuzzy. :3

~

When she woke up, it was later than usual. But Dean and Sam left a note for her for when she did wake up.

Hey Blue,

Uncle Sammy and I are helping Cas on a case that might involve Jack. If you could look up some stuff on the case that would be much appreciated. Sam left you his laptop in the library.

Call me if you find anything. Love you Princess.

- Dad

She could feel pressure in her head, her nose stuffy and runny, her eyes even itched a bit. They felt watery. And she had a pretty nasty cough. But she felt fine enough to sit and chill out at the computer all day to help her dad on the case.

She made herself a hot chocolate, warming up some milk, tossing in some marshmallows. She went into the library ready to go.

-

The case was a bust, no sign of Jack. Cas left to see if Heaven could help. Sam and Dean rented out a motel for the night, ready to leave for the bunker in the morning.

Her coughing fits got worse as the day progressed. Her headache got to the point it has made her cry. A constant fill in pressure, her eyes felt like they were gonna explode and if she couldn’t smell a thing. Her stomach decided to add to the torment and not agree with her, period.

Her stomach did a flip after said coughing fit. She leapt from her seat running for the nearest bathroom. Only to make it to the trashcan in the kitchen. Puking whatever contents in her stomach there was. Brushing it aside, she not only brought the trashcan with her, she headed back to the library, sat at Sam’s laptop and got back at it.

Sam had gone to bed early, Dean was looking at cases involving Jack. And then his phone rang. It was Sapphire.

“Hey Blue, found anything?” Dean asked.

“No, nothing.” She said. Her voice sounding rough, and clearly sick.

“You sound awful, you okay?” Dean asked.

“It’s just a cold, I’m fine, I’ll live.” She said.

“Don’t lie to me baby, you know what I said about that?” Dean said knowingly.

She sighed.

“My head feels like it’s gonna split in two, my nose is stuffed up, my throat hurts, and I threw up…twice.” She says.

“Alright.” Dean goes. powering down his laptop. Getting up to wake up Sam. “I’m waking up Sam and we’re leaving, now.” Dean says. “I’ll be home soon.” He adds.

As he nudges Sam’s shoulder harshly, waking him. “What Dean?” He goes, annoyed.

He points to his phone.

“No, Daddy, I’m fine. I made it this long being sick.” She says.

“We’ll hand whatever case to another capable hunter, right now, my daughter is sick. And I’m heading home to help her.” He says. “Now, power down Sam’s laptop, and get to bed.” He tells her.

“Okay daddy.” She says. Sounding tired and exhausted.

“You’ll be better in no time.” He says. Before exchanging I love you’s and hanging up.

“How bad?” Sam asked as he got dressed.

“I won’t know until I take her temp, she says she’s got a headache, stuffy nose and she puked a couple times.” Dean says.

“Sounds like the flu.” Sam goes.

“Maybe.” Dean agrees. “But, let’s get going.” Dean urges. Having already packed his stuff and is loading the impala.

She sat in the library, too tired to even move. She just closed out of the databases that were being used to find Jack, and opened up Google Chrome and began watching Markiplier on YouTube.

-

Her dad must have been speeding or was not that far from Lebanon, Dean came walking down the halls after dropping his bags off to his room and not seeing Sapphire in her room, he headed to the library. He saw her sitting at the table, on Sam’s laptop, watching a dude playing a video game. His antics making his daughter giggle.

“Hey baby girl.” He says upon entering.

“Hi daddy.” She said. She sounded weak and exhausted.

“I’ll have Sam get this laptop hooked up in your room, but let’s get you to bed.” He says.

He works her into his arms, and he carry’s her effortlessly to her room. She had dozed right off in his arms.

He lays her down gently, so as to not upset her stomach. He moves her heavy blankets to her feet, leaving her in the sheet blanket. He heads to the bathroom grabbing the thermometer. Coaxing her awake enough to get it in her mouth.

After a few minutes Dean pulled it out.

104.

Most fever reducers have doses made for kids 12 and over. Sapphire just turned 11. She’s still a bit young to be taking that kind of medicine. Sam decided to make a run to a nearby Pharmacy, grabbing a kid friendly fever reducer for kids 12 and under.

Dean gave her, her first dose. He grabs one of her chairs in her room, an oversized bean bag chair, and sat next to her bedside, keeping watch over her.

Sapphire slept soundly despite her symptoms. She woke up to her father, sleeping in the bean bag chair, holding her hand.

She still felt sick, but at least she didn’t feel like throwing up.

She wiped her eyes with her free hand. Waking her father.

“Hey Princess, how you feeling?” He asks. Gently brushing her hair from her eyes with his free hand.

“Egh.” She groans.

“Still crappy, huh?” he asks. she nods.

“Well then, we’re taking off today to take care of you.” He says, getting up.

“I’ll have Sam go get us some soup, crackers, meds, the works.” He says. “You just rest up in bed. ‘Kay?” he goes.

“Okay.” She says. How can she argue when she feels this sick?

And Dean goes to the kitchen to tell Sam exactly what he told her, and with that Sam is out buying canned soup, meds, and Dean is disinfecting the bunker.

“Dean, I have news.” Cas says, entering the kitchen.

“It’ll have to wait Cas.” Dean says.

“What are you doing?” Cas says, looking confused.

None of the Winchester brothers ever got sick, and Sapphire hardly ever got sick. But ever since she started up with school after summer break, it just popped up out of nowhere.

“Just disinfecting the bunker so no one catches whatever she’s got, miss Typhoid Mary in there.” Dean jokes, half kiddingly. Pointing to Sapphire’s room.

“It’s just the cold Dean, it’s not all that contagious.” Cas says knowingly. Causing Dean to look unamused at the angel.

“I’m not taking chances Cas, just go on your lead on Jack, I’ll have Sam help you when he can, ‘kay.” Dean says. “But I’m staying here with my girl, making sure she gets better.” Dean says.

Cas nods. “Very well Dean, I’ll call if anything changes.” He says.

“Sounds good Cas.” Dean says.

After cooking the soup, Dean enters her room, seeing her watching YouTube again.

“Why not just ask uncle Sammy to get you a console, and some games and play these yourself?” Dean asked, as he sat her dinner tray near her on her bed.

“These are PC games Dad, I’d need a gaming computer.” She says.

“We’ll get that too.” Dean says.

“Dad, it’s fine. I like watching it. it’s funny seeing him fail.” She says giggling at Mark failing at FNAF Help Wanted VR. “’Sides, I’d be cheating.” She says pointing at the video.

“Yeah, I guess.” Dean says. Just not getting it, how she finds that entertaining.

“Mind if I hang out with and watch?” he asks.

Might as well see what all the fuss is about though. He thought.

“Sure. If you don’t think Typhoid Mary here’s gonna get you sick.” She says, eyeing him. Making him chuckle.

“I was just joking around with Cas.” Dean says, setting in behind her. kissing the top of her head. “I love you baby girl.” He says.

“I love you too daddy.” She says as she dug in her bowl of chicken noodle soup.

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 01/11/20

-

Feedback is always appreciated!

And I hope this helped Jen! You’re awesome, and I just hope this helped you feel fluffy warm. <3

[thewritewolf]

Rekindle Chapter 4: Birthday

It looks like Marinette is going to be spending another birthday alone, unless a certain feline hero intervenes.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30  31

@marichatmay

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Adrien opened the door to his house and immediately began fumbling for the light switch. It had been another long day at work, where he had been back to modeling again. The modeling sessions were getting fewer and more spaced out, but that just seemed to mean that when his father did call on him to pose for the camera, he expected him to do the work of two or three sessions in one day. So much for slowly getting away from modeling and into the business side of things.

His eyes felt heavy, and his limbs heavier still. A few weary steps inside and he collapsed onto the couch in his living room, unable to make it to his bed. Plagg emerged from his jacket pocket, the kwami hesitating over Adrien for a few moments.

“Kid, you need to stand up for yourself.” It was all Adrien could do to avoid rolling his eyes. This was becoming an ever more common topic of conversation for them and it was starting to wear thin. "Gabe always had did run you ragged, but these last few years he has practically run you into the ground."

“I get paid for all that work, you know. Someone has to pay for your cheese habits.”

Plagg's fur bristled in irritation. “No way kid, you’re not putting this one back on me. You know as well as I do my delicious camembert is a drop in the bucket with what you make. Besides, you don’t even spend most of it since you don’t do anything. If you really wanted, you could stop working right now and be fine for what? A few months? A year? More?”

“Father pays for the house. I can’t just say no to him.” Adrien yawned and rolled away from his kwami, only for him to zoom back into his field of view.

Plagg shook his head. “Yeah, the house that you hate to be in and always try to find an excuse to get out of. You need to tell your old man-”

The ringing of Adrien’s cell phone cut Plagg off. “Oh no. I guess we’ll have to shelf this conversation. Too bad.”

Plagg glared and pointed a grubby paw at him. “This ain’t over, kid. You gotta stand up for yourself eventually.”

It was a struggle to pull out his phone, but he managed it. Nino’s face appeared on the screen.

“Sup, dude!” He took in Adrien’s appearance and cracked a smile. “You look like crap, man.”

“Thanks for sparing my feelings. I may have collapsed on the couch after getting home from the shoot. All the hard work of the makeup and hair teams - wasted!” He threw his arm over his face dramatically, earning a chuckle from Nino.

“Whatever you say, dude.” His face eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Wait. Another day of modeling? I thought you said those were a thing of the past and you were a management guy now?”

Adrien winced on the inside and shrugged. “I’m still the face of the company which means my face needs to be in some of the company’s products. For now, at least,” he rushed to add when he saw the look on Nino’s face. “Soon enough they’ll all be done and someone else can be the face of the company.”

“I dunno, bro. Your daddio’s got his claws in you and if he keeps you modeling, you’ll be too tired to do anything else. I think he’s really dragging his feet if he still hasn’t moved you to some other part of the company. Or he’s just saying he’s gonna promote you to keep you placated.” Nino shook his head. “You gotta talk to him, dude. Nothing’s going to change otherwise.”

Somewhere else in the room, Plagg cackled and Adrien shot a glare in his general direction.

Nino’s face brightened. “You got some peeps over? Good on you! Not gonna lie, I feel guilty sometimes when I realize how little we get to hang out. Especially with all the traveling Al and I do.”

“No, no one’s here.” Growling at Plagg, he added, “Just a stray cat that I’m considering shooing away.” Nino’s words caught up to him. “Wait, are you guys going to be still be gone in a couple weeks?”

“For Mari’s birthday, you mean?” Nino chuckled while Adrien felt his cheeks heat up slightly. His smile faded away as he continued. “But yeah, you’re right. We won’t be able to do anything with her this year. It’s a real bummer.”

“Yeah…” Adrien frowned. He was used to his birthdays being disappointing, but Marinette had always been surrounded by friends and family. Being alone for such an important day after being used to that… it couldn’t feel great.

“You know, this might be the perfect time to rekindle that friendship,” Nino said hopefully.

“I don’t think she’d want to spend so much time with the guy who broke her heart.”

“I’m telling you, dude, I’m sure you guys would be the best of friends. I get that you don’t see her in a romantic light, but I know she’d be happy to have a friend close by, you know?”

A friend? His heart clenched in sympathetic pain. “Yeah… okay, maybe. No promises, though, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“That’s all I can ask.” Off screen, Adrien heard Alya calling for Nino. “Sorry, dude. Gonna have to cut this call short. Best of luck with you two, okay?”

“Thanks, Nino. Stay safe and goodbye.”

“I do what I can. Bye!” The screen went dark as Nino hung up.

Adrien lowered the phone onto his chest, still staring up at the ceiling. Despite what his best friend had said, he didn’t think Marinette would be happy to see him appear out of the blue. At least, not if it were Adrien showing up. Smiling, he ran his fingers over his ring. Thankfully, he didn’t have to be Adrien all the time.

But… he shouldn’t just show up empty handed, right? This wasn’t just a normal day to hang out. This was a birthday party for two! They couldn’t leave her apartment, but he could make it feel the special day that it was. Oh, and he should get her presents too.

Adrien leapt to his feet and sat down in front of his desktop computer, searching for anything that he thought Marinette might like. Maybe he could get away with getting her two presents - one as Chat Noir and one as Adrien? That’d be a good way to ease into a normal friendship, right? And had nothing at all to do with the fact that this allowed him to justify buying her twice as much as was socially acceptable.

In a dark corner of the room, Plagg watched his chosen more around the room, more lively than he had been in months. The cat kwami couldn’t help but grin. There might just be hope for him yet.

-------------------------------

Marinette trudged up the long staircase to her apartment, once again cursing the broken elevator and her aching legs. Which only made her even more angry with herself because she was Ladybug! Is a couple flights of stairs really going to be the thing that causes her to break down today?

Then again, she knew that if she did get reduced to tears because of this, it wasn’t simply stairs that did it. The stairs were just the latest in a long line of awful things happening today. Spilt coffee, manically working in preparation for the fall line, asshole bosses - all on top of the frustration that they aren’t letting her do much work on actual designs since she is an intern, which is apparently another word for errand girl. No, the stairs weren’t the problem. They were just the final insult on the terrible, terrible day that was supposed to be the celebration of her birth.

She fumbled for her keys, which were somewhere on her person, feeling the tension as the breaking point starting to arrive, ready to great it like an old friend. Before it did, she caught a scent in the hallway that made her pause. Something like… Italian? But very spicy. It was making her mouth water just smelling it, which made her pout. Great, she smelled something delicious and now has to go and heat up a frozen meal. A normal day then, since she rarely got the chance to cook for herself these days.

With a sigh, she unlocked the door and stepped into her apartment, only for the scent to hit her full blast. She turned to her right, towards her kitchen. Standing there was Chat Noir in a chef’s hat, wearing an apron with a cartoon cat on it saying 'Feline Up for Some Dinner' - the cartoon cat also had a chef's hat, she noted in a daze. Chat Noir was merrily humming to himself while stirring a red sauce on the stovetop, a tall pot boiling nearby. Her small kitchen table, normally overburdened with distinctly non-food items like fabrics and dishes, had been cleaned off with two plates and a vase with a pink flower adorning it. She watched the scene for a few long moments before Chat Noir turned around and noticed she was standing stock still in the doorway.

Brief surprise gave way to a broad grin. “Hey, purrincess! I wasn’t sure when you got off work today, so I kinda got here way earlier than I needed to.” He rubbed the back of his neck when she didn’t immediately respond. Instead, she walked towards him, dropping off her purse on her couch as she passed by.

“Sorry I didn’t call or anything, I wanted to surprise you since its your birthday! Oh, that reminds me,” he disappeared below the countertop between them. He emerged with a box covered in cartoon cat face wrapping paper and pushed it towards her. “Happy birthday!”

She looked down at the box, slowly unwrapping it. Inside was a handmade card saying that she was “Pawsitively the best fur-real friend a cat could ask for,” a couple quality sketchbooks, and a few dvds of her favorite movies that her collection had been sorely lacking.

“Chat… I don’t know what to say…”

The feline hero shrugged, his lips quirking up in a barely suppressed smile. “Then don’t say anything. Dinner is almost ready, so go ahead and take a seat while I finish making it.” He turned back around to attend to the red sauce and stir the pasta.

Once she sitting at the table, she took a deep breath to savor the scent of the food. “I didn’t know you could cook, chaton.”

“I can’t,” he laughed, “I know just a few dishes. It’s been a while since I made arrabbiata, but I’ve been practicing for the last two weeks to get it right.”

“Why that dish?” Not that she was complaining - it smelled delicious.

“Well, you’ve mentioned that you liked spicy food, all I can cook is Italian, and arrabbiata is the only Italian dish I know of that’s got the heat.” She had a vague memory of them discussing food choices when they were considering if they wanted to order take out a few weeks ago. Had he really held onto that little tidbit of information for that long?

Before she could ask more questions - like, for example, why he could only cook Italian - he took her plate and handed it back laden with the steaming pasta and red sauce. Despite what he seemed to think, it had ended up amazing and if he tried to talk down his cooking abilities in the future, she’d have to give him a firm smack upside the head.

Somewhere between the unexpected meal and the ensuing conversation, Marinette felt the tension that had been building up throughout the day melt away. And for the first time since she moved here, her apartment felt like a home.

[whumpqhs]

Whumptober #11. Stitches

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

"Get up."

Sonora groaned and sat up, swinging her legs to the floor. She'd been let loose from the restraints on the medical bed when the prisoner she’d been set to save had recovered, and while she was still kept in the same interrogation room much of the time, the "interviews" had gotten fewer, and further between. 

In their place were long sleepless nights, pressed into service as everything from a short-order lab tech to an emergency trauma surgeon to a burn specialist. Newly and critically wounded from the war, these prisoners were too high value to be allowed to die, and with new battles every day, the infirmary was struggling to keep up. She followed that familiar punchable face into the clean room, past all modesty by this point, and started changing into fresh scrubs and washing her hands. Next came the PPE, already laid out for her on a tray. No extras; nothing for her to sneak out. He trained the blaster on her as she pulled on her shoe covers and tied the apron around her legs.

It wasn't her first time scrubbing in at gunpoint, even before her capture, and it was very unlikely to be the last. But it wasn’t all bad: her bruises were healing, she was getting actual food… 

"Here, let me get that for you."

...and Keeper had become substantially less of an ass. She turned, giving him her back, and tucked her head down so he could tie the gown at the nape of her neck. 

"Thanks. Where are we?"

"OR 2." He followed behind her. His blaster was still aimed at the middle of her back, and it gave her the nerves, but she was getting used to it, in a way. Sometimes she could even forget about it, for a few seconds, or sometimes longer if he set it down, like he did now, passing it off to a guard standing at the doorway as he fixed her with a stern and serious glare. 

"Remember, Cipher--if he dies…"

"I go too. Yes. Can I do the timeout now?" She'd long since accepted that condition of the arrangement… and had moved on to making sure he understood that it no longer bothered her.

"Can y--? No. It's my turn to do the timeout." He shook his head. "You did it last time." 

Success, in the form of a petulant look from the elite SIS agent. 

"No, you did it. Remember? The exploratory lap?"

Greater success: for a moment, he scrunched his eyebrows together and frowned. "...oh yeah. I guess I did. Go on then."

Her smirk about being right--and making him admit it--was invisible behind her mask, fortunately. As she settled into the familiar rhythm of something she'd done so many times before, she could feel the tension and panic of being a prisoner melting away as, for a moment, she wasn’t a prisoner at all. She was herself again: a Cipher, a caregiver… 

"Alright, time out! Hands off the patient. This is prisoner F2975, thirty year old, Force blind, Zabrak male. We're doing a resection of damaged GI tissue with multiple sites, debridement of any necrotic tissue. Going in from the lower left quadrant, site is marked…" she checked the lines of body marker on his skin, "Patient is positioned supine, draped appropriately, intubated and anesthetized… do we all agree so far?"

Around her, the rest of the team nodded. She continued. "Skin prep looks like it's already been done. Ten blade, please."

The fact that Keeper willingly handed her a knife, scrubbed in and standing at her right, should have been a clue about how sure they were that she’d never make it out of here. But if she started thinking about that, she might make a mistake. Instead, she thought only of making the perfect incision, cutting at just the right angle, to just the right depth. Blood spilled out from behind the inflamed skin. She didn’t even need to call for suction; he was already working on it, moving it behind her blade and staying out of her way.

“You’re good at this.” 

“Thanks. I wanted to be a surgeon.” He offered her the retractor she’d been about to ask for. How did he know? “They make us get out after a certain amount of medical training, so I only got my RN. Not like the Empire.”

“How would you know about the Empire’s policies, hm?”

She’d had Cipher training, unlike the rest of the room, so even in her peripheral vision, she could see what they hopefully couldn’t: the flicker of surprise as he looked up at her and then quickly recovered--he was a spy too, after all--and smoothly replied, “I read your file when we captured you. Imperial Medical Board has you down with a stack of certificates and extra degrees as tall as I am. They should really stop using the same personnel numbers as Imperial Intelligence… that’s pretty much asking for trouble. Worked out pretty well for us, though.” He grinned at her and went back to working the suction as she slowly opened up the incision to see what they were dealing with.

“Ah. Well… I was a bit of a special case.”

“How’s that?”

“I’m not just a medical operative. They usually don’t get that much training… since they do a lot of field work. Theirs tends more toward strategy, tactics, search and rescue, that stuff.”

“Not you?” He passed in a hemostat when she put out her hand. 

“Not me. Ciphers are… different. I did most of my work in a hospital setting, like this one. Targets too highly classified to be given to regular medics. Important figures who were under threat and needed a trusted team… or who could make it worthwhile for Intelligence. We were the best in the Empire; and that meant we were constantly in demand.” Even now, she couldn’t keep the pride out of her voice. Being promoted had been the best day of her life.

“Huh. We don’t have that type of thing; at least not that I know of. Just Agents, Special Agents, like me…”

“If it’s one up from the typical agent rank, then it’s the same as Cipher--so… you and I would be the same, then.”

“Hey, watch it, Ron.” One of the nurses cut in. “No need to go giving her info.”

“Your name is Ron?” She stopped, with both hands in the patient, and just looked at him.

“...Rongeur. It’s my designation. You are still my prisoner, and you will still call me Keeper.” She could see the color rising into his cheeks.

“It’s a nice designation. Useful instrument.”

He shook his head. She could hear the rest of the team snickering… clearly they were already well aware of how he didn’t like it. She sighed and went back to clamping, and cutting away, the tissue, then stitching the remaining healthy bowel back together.

“Oh, come on. No one likes their first callsign. I was so excited to change mine when I got promoted. It’s okay.”

“If it’s so “okay”, then why don’t you tell me yours?”

“Nice try.” She finished the last stitch on the intestine. “Rinse please, sterile saline and kolto.”

Once the cavity had been irrigated out, she nodded. “I think we’re about ready to close up, what about you? I need a second pair of eyes.”

He leaned in to check her work, nodding. “Looks good to me.” With the main procedure done, personnel began to leave, prepping for the eventual move to the infirmary’s PACU. When it was just them and the anaesthesia droid, she looked over at him. 

“Epi.”

“What? No. He’s not coding.”

“No, that was… that was me. My designation.” She placed the last stitch to anchor everything down within the cavity. “I was part of the rapid response team. Specialized in running codes. They used to say I was like a dose of it--little, which always made me mad, and… the best thing to have on hand if your heart stopped. Which made me really happy. So when I got to change my designation, that’s what I picked.”

Keeper--she’d already decided she wasn’t going to use that other name, it fit him even less somehow--looked back at her and quietly repeated, “Epi.”

“Mhmm.”

He picked up a needle holder, sighing. “I guess if they ever let me change mine--although I don’t think SIS does that--I’ll pick something cool like that.”

Why was it suddenly warmer than usual behind her mask?...

“I, y’know, it’s not that cool. I just… you’re right about yours, it really doesn’t suit you…”

“Thanks. Everyone else knows I hate it, they get a real kick out of it. S’why I jumped on making you call me something else.” He gestured to the needles that were lined up on the tray, already threaded. “You want the silk, or the Dakryl?”

“...You mean the dainethylene, right?”

“Huh?”

“You just did it again.”

“Did what?”

“When you get some time, look at that package. I’ve had to use Republic supplies in the field, you know? Emergency surgery… nowhere on there does it say Dakryl. It says the generic name. Dainethylene.” She paused, then added, “I want the silk, though.”

“It… so what?” He handed it over. She could tell from his tone that she’d hit a nerve. “I must have picked it up from a prisoner, like you. You’re not the first Sith-licking Imperial to come through here, don’t flatter yourself.”

Sonora started placing the stitches carefully. She knew she shouldn’t push. But… “You usually talk about surgical supplies with the prisoners here?”

“My specialty as a medical operative is interrogating. With medical torture. It comes up.” But he sounded defensive.

“I guess. I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just… strange. I’ve captured my fair share of SIS too, you know?...”

“I’m well aware.”

“They didn’t talk like you do.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. And as soon as he’s closed up, you’re going back to your cell.”

She blinked at him, tying off another stitch. “Was it something I said?”

“You keep acting like you have something on me, Cipher, well let me make this clear--you don’t.” His speech was fast and pressured, and he sounded genuinely angry. “I am a loyal Republic citizen. I always have been, and always will be. And you are still alive only because you are useful, and not very much trouble, so if I were you I’d be very careful about irritating the person who has to fight for you not to be taken downstairs and shot.”

That brought her up short. Mid-stitch, in fact. “...you… you’re the reason they’re keeping me?”

He turned away, prepping another needle. “You pull your weight. Don’t make errors. You work without complaint, the shit no one else wants to do, you do it.”

“I don’t have much choice.”

“So you do it, and you don’t spend an hour in the charge nurse’s office whining about having to.” He passed it over to her. “I’m trying to convince them that you’ll defect if we give you time to see that the Republic’s not all bad. We’ve lost a few of our agents to Imperial Intelligence. Might as well even the score.”

“So what would that be like? Just… turning around for the other guys, just like that?”

“They wipe your memory. Parts of it. So I hear, anyway.”

“Oh. I wouldn’t be much use as a medic, then.” 

He shrugged. “Maybe they leave those parts alone, so you can still practice.”

The words hung in the air for a moment. It seemed like they were both making the connection at roughly the same time. Parts like the names of suture thread?

Keeper was the one to jump in and try to fill the silence. “--Either way, you don’t have to stay in a prison cell once you defect, you know. You should do it. Come fight for the good guys.”

“Would that be the good guys who, unlike Imperial Intelligence, let their medical agents specialize in medically torturing people for information?”

“The very same.”

“...yeah, not yet.” She placed the last stitch. 

“Think about it.”

“I will, if you’ll think about something for me.”

“What’s that?”

She pointed to her stitches. “What was it you called this? Far-far, near-near, symmetrical bites...”

“It’s a Tirian loop. Did they not teach you that?”

“Yeah, they taught me that. At the Academy on Dromund Kaas. Tirian comes from Lord Tiria, the Dark Council seat for Biotic Sciences. He perfected it a couple hundred years back and promptly insisted on it being renamed after him...” As she began to tape down the drain coming out of the incision, she continued, “I had hold of one of your medics once. And I used this stitch on him. He called it a Beltic stitch, after Beltos Shala, the one who invented it.” Sterile gauze padded the stitches and wicked away any extra fluid. “...So while I know where I learned it… I’m pretty curious about where you did. Mister Loyal Republic Citizen.”

“It is not your job to be curious.” His voice had dropped back to the cold, cutting tone from when she’d first seen him, standing over her as her muscles locked up. She winced. “You’re a prisoner, it’s your job to do what you’re kriffing told. Are you finished with the procedure?”

“...yes.”

“Good.” He ripped the PPE off of himself and tapped on his wrist comm. “I’ll have them come get him and move him to PACU. You’re going back to your cell. Now.”

“What?! I can’t leave a patient!”

He picked up the blaster and leveled it at her chest. “You’re. Going. Back. To your CELL, now MOVE.”

--

[unnaturalsolace]

Summer 2019 Anime

I passed the 3-episode limit for this season, so I figured it was time to talk about what I’m watching and what I dropped. 

CONTINUING FROM LAST SEASON:

Kimetsu no Yaiba: Still loving the anime, still my favorite manga (as you could probably tell). Aside from that episode 13 (you know the one), it’s still been a great adaptation, especially since this is where things really start to pick up in the manga. I am literally just counting down the days of the week until Saturday arrives, no joke. And I really do think a season 2 is possible since the manga sales have picked up a lot, although I don’t know how anime sales look like yet. I am sooo hyped for all the pillars to appear!!

Amazing OP, amazing ED 

Fruits Basket: Also loving this adaptation as well. I think they are doing a really good job, especially with some of the details (I reblogged a post before about Yuki and Kyo’s anger marks that actually started out as animals). I actually got into Fruits Basket more than a decade ago, and it was pretty much my favorite manga until KnY. So the fact that they’re both getting adapted at the same time is pretty awesome for me. I never watched the first adaptation, and I probably won’t tbh. 

Comfy OP1, comfy OP2, comfy ED1, comfy ED2

CURRENT SEASON:

Araburu Kisetsu no Otome-domo yo.: I’ve been reading the manga and it was interesting so I decided to watch the anime as well. Adaptation has been great as well, everything looks really good. As for the story itself, I liked the manga at first, but the scanlations haven’t gotten that far so I don’t know much beyond what’s aired so far. However, I have heard that there’s some NTR in the future so I’m not looking forward to that. The manga only has one chapter left so we’ll see how it all ends I guess. But I think overall it tackles some good themes, although I feel too old to relate to them lol.

Bem: This anime kinda reminds me of Gegege no Kitarou, mostly just the supernatural aspect. I did end up dropping Kitarou at some point, and I feel like I’ll probably do the same for this one. It’s been okay so far, but nothing special I’d say. And it seems like every time there are supernatural protagonists, the human characters are always relatively dumb.

Amazing OP

Cop Craft: This is a nice buddy cop anime I suppose, although one of the MCs looks like a 13-year-old which is a liiiittle weird. So I really hope the MCs don’t end up together. The story is a bit cliche but I think I’ll continue watching for a little while, although I may drop it depending on if my interest wanes.

Dr. Stone: One of my other favorite WSJ manga. I think it’s really hilarious, and I’m liking the science promotion, although I know some people think it’s a little childish. I recently started collecting the manga too. I think the anime has been doing a good job with all the expressions, and the manga has a lot of great expressions to look forward to. 

Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru?: I read Kengan Asura (which is also getting an adaptation) and I heard this was by the same author, so I decided to check it out. It’s actually quite fun! I tried doing some of the exercises myself but I got really lazy and gave up after a few days lol...but it did motivate me for a little bit. I think it is definitely very educational (edutainment?) and also funny.

Very catchy OP

Enen no Shouboutai: I read some of the manga, although I think I dropped it like a year ago or something. I also read the author’s previous work Soul Eater, and I feel like these are both kinda...meh. I dunno, I feel like something is missing for me to like the manga. There’s not a lot of memorable characters, and my favorite (that I remember) is probably Arthur. Also the series has some really dumb fanservice, so that’s definitely gonna come up a lot in the anime. (Where’re all the anime DUDES with lucky lewd syndrome? I wanna see a guy trip and accidentally shove his ass in someone’s face, c’mon.) I’ll keep watching for now for Arthur, but I have a feeling I might drop this in the future too.

Given: I remember reading 1-2 chapters of this, then I guess I forgot about it. But I am liking the anime so far, it’s got a good sense of humor and hooray for more BL anime! I’m liking the characters, although I hear there’s some drama in store for the future. But it’s pretty comfy so far.

Comfy ED

Kanata no Astra: I read the manga since it’s a pretty short series (5 volumes). Overall I thought it wasn’t bad. I think my problem with this is how someone else put it: the idea and plot are good and serious, but the execution is rather childish. But it does get better later (from what I remember), and the climax is good. However, the resolution is just waaaay too easily settled. Kinda spoilers, but all the bad guys are just taken care of like an unimportant afternote. I guess the focus was more on the interpersonal relationships, but the manga was way too short for that to be really effective.

Nakanohito Genome [Jikkyouchuu]: I think I was pleasantly surprised by this. I went in expecting another death game/survival anime, and I got a rather funny show that isn’t taking itself too seriously. And even though there are 8 main characters, I think it’s been doing a good job of making each of them unique in a way. Also there is a tsundere boy, and tsundere boys are always the best characters (Exhibit A: Kyo). I really don’t know what direction this show will go in tbh.

Tsuujou Kougeki ga Zentai Kougeki de Ni-kai Kougeki no Okaasan wa Suki Desu ka? (AKA Okaa-san Online): I started watching this because I saw a funny clip. I think that overall it’s pretty self-aware of what genre it is, especially with the latest episode and the hot springs. But I definitely can see that it dips into pandering here and there. Personally there’s too much mom-pandering for me (and she can be real overbearing, but the show doesn’t seem to count that as a flaw and kinda portrays her as without any faults), although I guess that’s the point of the show. I’m more interested in the other characters, and I hope it stays self-aware. I hope it stays a wholesome mother-son relationship with no actual serious incest vibes...I like that the son is actually worn out by the incest moments without any blushing or anything.

Comfy ED

Vinland Saga: A good manga, and WIT is doing a solid adaptation. Not really sure what else to say except that the animation is great, and I’m looking forward to Thorfinn growing up. I’ve been keeping up with the manga weekly, but I haven’t reread it, so I’m kinda fuzzy on most of the early stuff (although I remember major events). 

DROPPED AFTER ONE EPISODE:

7Seeds: I remember this was a great manga (and Basara was too), but I kinda stopped reading a couple of years ago. I think it actually ended recently? I tried picking my interest back up with the anime, but the direction of the first episode was just so weird that I had to drop it. I mean, I read it, so I kinda knew what was going on, but for people who haven’t, it was probably confusing as fuck. I have no idea why they directed it that way, what’s wrong with just following the manga?

Ensemble Stars!: I wanted to give this a try because there are some great doujinshi out there, but I am honestly not that into idol anime (I think Idolish7 was the only one I ever finished). I’m not really into otome anime as a whole, it just makes me feel old.

Toaru Kagaku no Accelerator: I used to like Accelerator as a character, but I never got into the whole Index franchise. I tried giving this a shot but I think my interest is gone by now.

So that’s what I’ve been watching the summer, hopefully some of you guys feel the same about some of these. Just wanted to give my 2 cents on some shows, and also advertise great OPs and EDs.

[shittyfandomimagines]

Date Night

Word count: 1,822

Pure fluff wow

(GIF not mine, creds to owner)

I wake up to the smell of something burning, my automatic thoughts are that the apartment is on fire and Shawn probably started it.

I speed walk through the dark hall and find Shawn fanning the fire alarm to make sure it didn’t sound. “Baby, what’s going on?” I ask and he turns his head towards me, he had his ‘embarrassed smile’ on his face. “Uh, well I was gonna make a breakfast in bed type scenario, it didn’t work because I realized you’re the one who always cooks breakfast.” He mumbles softly and I get on my tippy toes to kiss his cheek.

“Thanks, babe, it’s the thought that counts,” I say while throwing out the burnt eggs and toast. I crack a few more eggs and then push the lever back town on the toaster. “Pancakes or waffles?” I look up and see him grinning. “Pancakes with sprinkles please.” He had a giddy voice and I nod. “Sprinkle pancakes for the king.” I joke, finding the mix in the cabinet.

I was humming slightly to myself, scrambling the eggs and putting them on a plate. The pieces of toast pop up and I lay them on the plate too.

“You’ve got my heart but I can’t let you keep it, baby.” I sing to myself and I hear him chuckle. I skip over a few stanzas and get to the chorus. “Don’t be a fool and wait on me, darling. I know that you don’t want to hear this but I’m always on the move.” I vocalize some more but stop when I finish putting the pancakes on a plate. “Breakfast is served.” I separate our two plates and he grabs both of them out of my hand; carrying it into the small dining room, I bring the syrup with me.

I put syrup on my pancakes and hand it to Shawn. “Why don’t you like sprinkles in your pancakes?” He asks and I tilt my head a little. “I don’t like the grittiness,” I admit and eat my plain pancakes.

It was quiet for a while and he breaks the silence again. “What’s your favorite things about me?” He asks and that makes me immediately look up. There’s nothing that could upset me more than knowing Shawn doubts himself or my love for him.

I look at him and his eyes were almost pleading, my heart broke a little. “Your hair is so freaking soft and the curls are so cute. Your eyes literally sparkle, they are that hazel color when the sun hits them, especially in the morning when the sun peaks through the blinds. You always have your tongue poking out to the side when you’re concentrating or worried. You always let me vent about my bad day even when yours was amazing. You laugh at my puns and your smile is annoyingly perfect. You always sing and I always act like I’m annoyed, but the things I’d do to make sure you never stopped is unbelievable.” I admit and I see Shawn giving me that fucking beautiful smile.

“Hm, I guess I’m just that lovable.” He jokingly says and shrugs his shoulders. “You’re a fucking nerd.” I groan and take a bite from my toast.

“Can I take you on a date tonight?” He almost sounded nervous and he was biting his lip. “Of course you can, where to?” I ask and he grins. “That one down on Queen Street.” He explains and I nod even though I was trying to remember which one he was talking about.

“I love that you asked me out like we are some 16-year-olds.” I joke and he grabbed my hand. “Well, I just wanted to make sure you were free because I might have already invited your parents to go already.” He mumbles towards the end and I laugh. “If I would’ve said no, how much panic would you have been?” I ask while laughing loudly. “Level 8 panic.”

—

“Damn baby! Look at you in that nice purple dress and black shoes!” Shawn whoops as I made it down the hall loudly. He’s lucky that he told me it was the fancy one because I would’ve accidentally worn some blue jeans.

I take in his black suit and his white shirt had 3 buttons undone. “Baby, you look so hot,” I say and grab the collar of his shirt to bring him closer to me, I kiss his lips quickly. I wipe the trace of lipstick off him.

We leave the house and get into the car, I see him hit like level 5 panic as he was patting down his jacket. “I left my wallet, I’ll be right back.” He awkwardly smiles and runs back up to the door.

I use my spare key to start the car and I turn up the radio up a little. “Okay, we are in the clear now.” He sighs and jumps in the car.

The drive started off a little quiet but Shawn starts asking questions on how I felt about getting promoted for work. I explain all I feel and he nods, kissing my hand.

“Do you think we’ll ever have children?” He asks and I almost choked on my spit. “I mean you’d make the cutest babies with anyone Shawn,” I admit and he grins. “Yeah but I want them with you, obviously.” He says and if my heart could smile, it would.

“I want one boy and one girl, I don’t care about the order but I just want one of each. I mean of course I’d be glad to have any, so I just hope for those.” I explain to him and he pulls his hand out of mine, placing it on my thigh comfortingly. “Go on, I like hearing you talk about this.” Shawn aides and I nod.

“The boy should at least have your nice hair, black and cute curls. I hope to god that both of them has your singing voice and your height. Maybe the girl will also have your curls and then maybe my eyes. Then again, you have adorable eyes and they’d be blessed with yours. They would be lucky to have those pearly whites of yours.” I stare out the window as I think of our theoretical children.

“What will it have of you?” He asks sadly while looking over quickly. “My nutrients and a big portion of my body for 9 months.” I joke and he snickers a little. “Yeah, but they’ll definitely have your laugh. The cute and tiny ears you have, obviously. Hopefully, they will get your high cheekbones and boop-able nose.” He explains and I smile to myself. “Maybe.” I grin.

—

“Shawn, any songs coming out soon?” My dad asks while taking the last bite of his salad. “Uh, I am actually stopping soon to spend some more time with y/n.” He says and this was even news to me, I turn to look surprised at him.

“That’s great! You two really are adorable together, 3 years next month, right?” Mom asks and I nod with a huge grin. “Yep, 3 years strong.” Shawn smiles towards me.

“Would you guys like any desserts?” A young waitress asks she was staring intensely at Shawn. Honestly, this was so common and if I wasn’t dating him, I’d stare too. Shawn looks over to me quickly and then back to the girl, he tells her yes. “How about you guys?” She asks my parents and they shake their head.

“Well, you didn’t tell her what you wanted,” I tell him as she walks away. “If I know us two, we could eat any dessert that came.” Shawn jokes and I shrug. “You’re right.” I agree.

“Have you guys planned your trip to Bora Bora?” Mom asks towards me and I nod. “We’re going in like 4 months,” I say and she smiles, my dad was having his own conversation with Shawn. “Well I was looking up pictures and it looks gorgeous.” Mom continued and I take a sip of my water.

“Yeah, it is so beautiful. We planned on staying for 2 weeks instead of one.” I admit and she smiles. “That’ll be good for you two, you guys both need a break from work.” I nod in agreement.

“Here is your dessert.” The girl looks at Shawn one last time and then puts it in between both of us. “Awe, it’s one of those chocolate domes that you melt off to look inside!” I couldn’t even hide my excitement when I saw it. “You’re too cute.” Shawn whispers and I giggle.

I pour the sauce over the dome. Slowly, it popped open. I go to dip my spoon in, but I saw something shiny. What in the hell. “There’s something shiny in there,” I say and use my spoon to push the chocolate mousse out of the way. I pull out the shiny thing and then realized it was a fucking ring.

“Shawn, I think someone lost their ring,” I say and he didn’t answer. “Shawn-“ I say and turn my head to him. “Oh my god!” I exclaim when I see him kneeling, he took the ring out of my hand. He grabs a napkin and wipes all the chocolate off. I look over to my parents and I could see my mom tearing up.

“Y/n, you have always had my heart. You love me for all the small things and even the bad things. You always make a wonderful breakfast and eat the most boring choices for it though. You laugh at my jokes and sing to my songs, you’ve never made me choose between you or music; even though we both know that I’d choose you. You always let me rant or vent to you, you hardly ever get angry with me. I love you. Will you marry me?” He asks and the tears rapidly fell down my cheek.

I saw that look in his eyes, he was definitely trying to avoid his tears. I started to imagine our wedding and how we’d finally have children. We’d get to burn as much food as we want and maybe we can even buy a house instead of a flat. Shawn could literally be called my fiancé/husband. Like what did I ever do to deserve him?

“Y/n,” he said my name a little more nervously. I look into his eyes and see him looking back down at the ring. “Oh yeah! Of course babe!” I shout and he grins widely. “Thank you, I was worried you were gonna say no.” He whispers once he engulfs me in a hug, people around us were clapping. “How could I say no to that cute little face of yours?” I ask and kiss his cheeks.

“Well, can I finish this dessert now?” I ask and he bursts out into laughter. “As you were.”

[pixiegoblin]

Hey Kiddos!!!

Hello to my followers, new and old! It has been a few months and I’m super sorry! I’m going to go in to more detail under the cut about where I have been and what’s in store for the future... But if you want a quick summary:

Basically school has been kicking my but and my horrible internet isn’t helping with posting. I’m hopefully jumping back in soon though!

Longer story:

Okay sister!!! Glad you wanna hear a little bit about where I’ve been.

So school started for me in August, meaning I’ve in absolute stress since then :)  Academics plays a big part in my life so school is usually always number one priority, so right as school started I know that the simblr would be put on the back burner.

I’m taking two AP classes this year and an Honor’s Math Class so my work load is to fucking much and I also work a few days after school. I do knowledge bowl so sometimes I have meet’s after school, I also need a social life so when I’m not doing school stuff I’m with friends, leaving this at the bottom of my list.

See Simblr has always been a fun hobby of mine, and in my head once a hobby becomes a job I drop motivation real quick. I’ve had a simblr before this one and I got hella burnt out with it,, that’s why I have never linked it in any of my posts or promoted it here. I really like my Papaya family and I loveeeeee what I have in store for their story, so giving up on it isn’t in my future.

Simblr became this job furring my busy school year when after doing homework instead of relaxing I would sit down and take 150+ screenshots and then edit them and then go to post them... It just wasn’t fun when I feel like I was having to do it.

My horrible internet wasn’t helping  the situation either. On average I have a total of 3 pics in a post, my internet isn’t at the capability where I can select all 3 pictures at once, I need to select each one by one and loading one photo takes about 2 minuets IF it loads in, rarely it does. When I need to queue 60+ posts and I can only get 3 done in 45 minuets it really just puts a damper on everything.

So with all of these harming my passion, I knew I needed to take a break. So here we are.. My motivation and inspiration back, What is in the future?

Well in my off time I have written the story for the rest of this generation and the next so we’re at least making it that far. I also believe I’m getting better internet in the near future so that means hopefully posting will become easier. 

I by no means wanted to, or had the idea to, leave simblr. So.. Hopefully I’ll start queuing today and posts will start coming back :+)

I love you all!!!! Thanks for staying with me xoXoxoxO 

[walkerismychoice]

Faking It (Damien X MC)

Book: Perfect Match

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 1967

Author’s Note: This part 6 in the series chronicling my head-cannon of Damien and MC’s relationship up to present day, explaining why they have never been more than friends. I thought this would be the last part, but I’m not sure now based on the way I ended it. Parts 1-5 are linked below

Tag List: @lizeboredom @hhiggs 

Part 1: For Safety | Part 2: Man of the Hour | Part 3: Sticky Situation

Part 4: Betrayal | Part 5: Bad Decisions

Kai woke up after her drunken night out with a wicked hangover. Her memory was spotty, but the details started slowly coming back as she sat and sipped her coffee. Oh god, I want to crawl in a hole and die, she thought.

Nadia walked out of the bathroom all dressed and ready for the day, looking like her typical perky self. “Look who’s finally awake! You had quite an interesting night last night.”

“Please don’t remind me. Playing it over in my mind is bad enough. But as strange as it may seem, I think it was good for me.”

“Oh?” Nadia waited for Kai to elaborate.

“I’m not sure exactly what did it, but I feel different today. I’m ready to take back control of my life and move on. I’m on track for a promotion at the ad agency, I have the best roommate in the world, and I live in a city full of possibilities. What more could I need?

"What about Damien?” Nadia asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t really resolved things with him yet, have you?”

“I did drunk text him last him last night if that counts for anything,” Kai admitted.

“I know,” Nadia replied. “He texted me after to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh no, what did you tell him?”

“Well I didn’t tell him you nearly banged a random guy in a bathroom, but I did say he was helpful in keeping you from making a regrettable decision.”

“Nadia! First of all, I told you we were never to bring that up again. Secondly, you better hope he never makes me explain what you meant.”

“Does that mean you forgive him and we can all be best friends again?” Nadia asked hopefully.

“I wouldn’t go that far yet, but I am ready to talk things out with him.”

=====

Damien was a little surprised to get a text already the next morning from Kai. She wanted to get together to discuss everything. Damien was out of town visiting family for the weekend, and then they were both swamped at work during the week, so they decided Friday night would be best. As it turned out, Nadia had a date with the guy she met at the club when she and Kai and went out, so it would just be him and Kai. He was both nervous and happy about this. They wouldn’t have Nadia as a mediator, but it was probably for the best that it was just the two of them in the conversation.

Damien picked up Thai food from Bangkok House on the way. He knew that always helped make Kai happy. As he knocked on her door, he felt almost as anxious as the first time.

=====

“Hey Damien.” He looked so cute and he brought food. It would be hard for Kai to stay mad at him. “Thinking you can bring my favorite food and all will be forgiven?”

“Damn, is my plan that transparent?” Damien smiled shyly and Kai melted little more.

“Well it’s working a little, but we still need to talk. Let’s eat and then we’ll get to the tough part.” Kai sat down at the table and Damien followed.

After too much food and a glass of wine. Kai was ready. “So Damien, I just want to say-”

“No please let me go first. I should have trusted you from the start and come to you right away when I thought something was up.”

“As hard as it is for me to admit Damien, you did have a point about wanting to gather evidence first. I might have gotten angry at you just for questioning Kyle’s loyalty. And had you been wrong, I would have been mad you got me worried for nothing. Can we both agree there was no easy answer? It was all too much to handle, and I lashed out at you. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks Kai. I’m sorry too. Does this mean we are friends again? Because I really missed you too.”

“Oh, sorry about the drunk texting at 2am. But at least it helped us get back here. I’m not going to let anything get in the way of our friendship again.”

=====

“Oh, great….” Kai rolled her eyes and held up the invitation for Nadia to read. “Stacy Peters is getting married.”

Stacy and Kai had been sorority sisters in college. They were friends but there was always an unspoken rivalry between them in everything they did. Now Stacey was getting married and all Kai had was a failed engagement nearly a year ago. Of course Kai had a lot of other good things going for her, but she was not looking forward to comments about Kyle, or the hundreds of times she was sure to be asked if she was dating someone new.

Kai joked to Nadia, “I think I need to hire a fake boyfriend for the wedding like they do in the movies.”

“I know you were mostly joking, but I think I know someone who would be willing to play that role for free. He might not even have to fake it.”

“Nadia if you are talking about Damien, we are, and always will be, just friends. But…I might just be desperate enough to ask him.”

Kai would be lying to herself if she said there weren’t still feelings there. But after everything she went through, and they went through, she wasn’t willing to lose Damien’s friendship again if things didn’t work out. She could ask Damien to do this though. He could be her totally platonic buffer from unwanted personal questions.

=====

Damien couldn’t believe he agreed to be Kai’s fake wedding date. Well that was a lie. He would do just about anything for her; He even bought a new suit to look the part. But big fancy weddings were just not his thing. Getting to spend time alone with Kai would be the only thing that made it tolerable. 

Damien and Kai arrived at the hotel to check in and get ready for the wedding. They had booked one room since they were pretending to be a couple, but that wouldn’t be a big deal since there were two beds.

“Hi, can I have the last names on the reservation?” The hotel clerk asked.

“Park and Nazario,” Kai replied.

The clerk typed in the names. “Oh, it looks like you booked a double queen room, but all we have left is single king beds. Will that be all right?”

“Well this is looking more and more like a cliché romantic comedy by the minute. Are you sure Nadia didn’t set this up?” Damien quipped sarcastically.

“Damien! Kai hit him playfully and then turn to the clerk. “Yes, my boyfriend and I are fine sharing a bed.”

Damien knew Kai was just putting on a show, but hearing her call him her boyfriend gave him butterflies in his stomach. This wedding was a bad idea. He was going to slip and let his feelings show soon if he wasn’t more careful.

Once in the hotel room, Kai retreated to the bathroom to get ready and Damien got dressed in the room. After a while Kai called to Damien, “Can you help zip up my dress?”

She walked out the bathroom door and Damien was in awe. Kai looked stunning. She was wearing a fitted deep red dress with a lace overlay and plunging neckline. It looked like it was made for her. He tentatively placed his left hand on the small of her back and zipped up her dress with care. He was close enough to smell her hair, and her scent was intoxicating. He thought he heard her breath quicken, but he was probably just imagining it. “Wow, you friends are all going to wonder how I ever snagged a woman like you. You look great.”

“I don’t know Damien. I could say the same about you. That suit fits you like a glove. I think we make a pretty good looking fake couple.”

=====

Kai could still feel the ghost of Damien’s touch on her lower back as they walked to the ceremony. Why did such an innocent touch affect her so much?

The ceremony was a bore, but at least it was short. The reception had an open bar. Maybe she would be able to get Damien on the dance floor tonight. “How many drinks will it take to get you dancing Damien?”

“I’m not sure if I have ever had enough to find out.”

“Well, couples usually dance at weddings. You might have no choice.”

Damien smirked at Kai. “I feel like I’m being conned here, but whatever you say babe.”

Kai’s cheeks started to flush a bit when Damien called her babe. Luckily, Stacy and her new husband Andrew walked up just then. “Congratulations Stacy! And nice to meet you Andrew,” Kai said as she hugged Stacy and shook Andrews hand.

“It’s been too long Kai. I’m so glad you could make it. And this must be your plus one.” Stacy studied Damien from head to toe. He’s cute. I approve.”

Kai laughed. “Yes this is Damien. He’s my trophy boyfriend. I keep him around because he makes me look good. It was Kai’s turn to make Damien blush as his cheeks turned bright red.

“Okay ladies, enough about me. I’m sure Stacy and Andrew have more people to greet.”

Kai and Damien got a couple more drinks and had fun talking and making fun of the probably expensive but completely gaudy wedding décor. By some twist of fate, Kai caught the bouquet and Damien caught the garter. Not only would Damien be forced to dance with her, but they would have the solo spotlight with everyone watching. Well, Kai tried hard for the bouquet, but the garter basically fell into Damien’s lap.

“Of course they chose to do this cheesy and outdated wedding tradition. I would say you orchestrated this whole thing, but I don’t even know how you could. Guess I just have bad luck.” Damien shook his head.

“Hey now, is dancing with me really that bad?”

“Kai, I know you are trying to impress your friends. Dancing with me will probably have the opposite effect.”

“Nonsense. Let’s go.”

“A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri started to play. “I think that means we should start dancing now Damien.” Kai put her arms around Damien’s shoulders. Damien awkwardly put his hands on Kai’s hips. It was if he was afraid to touch her.

“Damien, you can get a little closer than that.” He inched closer to Kai. It was an improvement, but still a bit like two seventh graders at their first school dance. Kai didn’t want to keep nagging him so they danced that way for a while, but she couldn’t take the awkwardness anymore.

“Seriously Damien, it looks more like I’m being forced to dance with my bother at a family wedding than dancing with my boyfriend.”

In one swift motion, Damien pulled Kai’s body tight against his. He leaned in and whispered in a husky voice, “Would your brother do this?” Before Kai knew what was happening, Damien’s lips came crashing down on hers, his hands twining in her hair. She stood stunned and motionless at first but then kissed him back with equal passion. The kiss ignited a fire through her body like she had never felt before. It seemed like minutes passed before they pulled away breathlessly. The song ended at that moment and Kai stood speechless.

Damien gazed into Kai’s eyes intently, his emotions difficult to discern. “If they weren’t convinced before, they definitely are now. If you’ll excuse me, I need to use the restroom,” Damien walked away and left Kai alone to process what had just happened.”