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Day 1–Fake Dating (25 Days of Ficmas)
A/N: Day 1!! So happy to kick off this series. Hope you like it. Summary: Reader invites Shawn to a work Christmas party as her fake boyfriend
Warnings: None
“Knock, knock. I’m just making the rounds and passing out the Christmas party invitations! This year is a Christmas ball! How exciting is that?!” Jenna paused when she realized Y/N wasn’t listening. “How’s it going?”
“Meh. I can come up with a big piece of evidence that proves this guy is innocent. It’s just so frustrating!”
“Hey, maybe you need a break. It’s snowing outside. Go be out there for a minute, clear your thoughts.” Jenna, the secretary of the law firm, but also Y/N’s best friend suggested.
Y/N lifted her head from her computer screen to see that it was indeed snowing. Big, fluffy, snow globe flakes. The one’s that made her feel like she was in a Hallmark movie.
“But I have to get this done. It’s really important.”
“Y/N…go outside. Or I will unplug your computer and you will lose all your work. You know I will not hesitate to do it,” she gave Y/N a stern look as she put the invitation on her desk. She knew Jenna was right. She always followed through with her word.
“Okay, fine. I’m going.” Y/N stood from her desk, stretched a little, and walked out of her office.
When she got outside, she took a moment to enjoy the peace and quiet. There is something so beautiful about sound when it snows. It dampens the world and makes it seem like you are the only one in it. It’s so…peaceful.
Y/N took a few deep breaths before she saw Camilla stepping out of her car, a coffee in hand. Her short pink dress, skin-colored nylons, black high heels, and white fur coat completing the prissy look.
“Good morning, Y/N,” she sent her the bitchiest smile she could muster before going inside.
Y/N and Camilla were competing to become the new owner of the law firm once the boss retired. Camilla had a super wealthy fiancé and the owner of the company valued someone like that. He knew the company would be well off financially. Along with having a sugar daddy, Camilla would be married soon. And the owner saw it as Camilla having her life put together.
Whereas Y/N did not have a boyfriend. Nor had she kissed anyone in 6 months. It’s not that she hadn’t gone on dates, they were all just dull people whom she had little in common with.
She felt her back pocket vibrating and looked down to see the familiar face of her long-time best friend, Shawn.
“Hello. Long time no call.”
“Yea sorry about that. But you’ve been getting my texts, right? Tour is super busy right now.”
“Yea I’ve seen your texts. You look like you’re having a blast. How’s Alessia doing?”
“She’s great. She’s really getting the hang of it.”
“I need to come out and see you guys again soon.”
“That would be nice, but actually I’m coming home next week to be with my family for Christmas and I was wondering if you wanted to hang.”
“Hmm. I don’t know. You’re kind of the worst. You leave me alone for months at a time and expect me to survive without you,” Y/N said sarcastically.
“Sorry about that. Forgive me?”
And then a wonderful idea popped into Y/N’s head. “I will only if you do me a really big favor.”
“Which is…”
“Pretend to be my boyfriend at my Christmas work party.”
There was silence on the other end as Shawn felt his heart flutter when she said the words ‘my boyfriend.’ Even if it was fake, he was willing to help the girl he loved.
“Of course. When is it?”
“Next Saturday night.” She bit her fingernails nervously as she waited for his response.
“Are you biting your fingernails? You need to quit that habit.” She blushed. He knew her in a way that no one else did. He knew she was nervous and knew she would be biting her nails. “But sure, I will go with you. What’s the theme?”
Of course Shawn had heard of these infamous Christmas parties and their elaborate themes every year. He had also heard about her annoying co-worker that tried to one-up Y/N in everything she did.
“It’s a Christmas Ball. Which reminds me, I have literally nothing to wear to this. I’ll have to go shopping tonight—”
“Wait! Don’t!”
Y/N paused.
“I’m flying in this Sunday. We’re going to show up that bitchy co-worker of yours. I’m taking you to Armani and we’re getting a matching suit and gown. She’s not going to know what hit her.”
Y/N let out a soft chuckle. “This is why I love you, Shawn.”
He smiled sadly on the other end of the line. Not the way I love you though. He thought. He’ll never know the double meaning to my words. She thought.
*****
Monday cam slowly as Y/N anticipated the day that she finally got to see Shawn. He showed up to her house in his black Range Rover and opened the passenger door for her. “Milady.”
She giggled. “What was that for?”
“Just got to get in the boyfriend mood,” He sent her a cheeky smile as he walked around to the driver’s side of the car.
“You are such a cheese ball, you know that?”
He gently shoved her arm as they pulled into the parking lot of the Armani store.
He grabbed her hand and led her to the dress section of the store. “Hello Mr. Mendes. It is a pleasure to have you and the lady in our store today. And what might I do for you?”
“We need a ball gown. One fit for a princess. And if you can, try to find something green. It really suits her eyes.”
“I will do my best,” the attendant said, eyeing Y/N up and down to gauge her measurements and dress fit.
“Sorry was that too forward. I should’ve let you choose the color,” Shawn whispered as the attendant walked into the backrooms.
Y/N laughed. “No, I’m glad you said something. I literally have nowhere to start so that was very helpful. And I didn’t know green looked good on me.”
“Yea, you look really beautiful in it. It brings out the blush in your cheeks.” Shawn turned his head away to look at the tuxedo section, but it really was to avoid seeing her reaction. He was worried it would not be wanted he wanted.
The attendant came back a few minutes later with a beautiful dark green ballgown with short off the shoulder sleeves and silky material. There was a slit for her right leg and the attendant also held a pair of nude heels.
“Try these on. I think they will suit you well. And once we get you all fitted, we can get to work on Mr. Mendes’s matching tuxedo.”
Y/N quickly changed and walked out to show the two her dress. Shawn’s jaw dropped open and he stared at Y/N’s beautiful figure. He wanted to kiss her right then and there, but he couldn’t.
“This is the one. I can feel it. There is no need to try on more dresses. Thank you, this is amazing!” she thanked the attendant.
After finding Shawn a tuxedo, they walked to the front of the store to pay. Y/N went to pay for her dress when Shawn slapped her hand out of the way and passed the cashier his card.
“You two are cute together,” the cashier said, and Y/N looked over at Shawn who was grinning from ear to ear.
“Thank you!”
When they reached the car, Y/N addressed Shawn about this, “Why did you let her think we were a couple,” Y/N chuckled.
“Gotta play into the act, right?” He grabbed her hand and kissed it gently.
*****
The night of the Christmas party, Shawn walked to her front door, a bouquet of poinsettias in his hands. He knocked gently, rocking back and forth nervously on the balls of his feet. He didn’t know how tonight was going to go. He wanted to play the part, but he also didn’t want Y/N to become suspicious of his true feelings.
Inside the house, Jenna was helping Y/N put her shoes on when there was a knock at the door. “You stay here, I’m going to go get it,” Jenna said.
Y/N laughed. “Jenna, you know it’s just fake. It’s not a real date or anything like that.”
“Cut the crap, I know you have feelings for him. And if my gut is right, he feels the same for you.”
Y/N smiled softly as Jenna left the room and when to the top of the staircase. She saw Shawn standing at the bottom, beaming up at her. The walk down the stairs felt so long as he waited for her to be in his arms.
He passed her the bouquet and grabbed her waist. “You ready to go?”
“Wait! You guys can’t leave yet! I need pictures!”
“Jenna, this isn’t a school dance! Plus, don’t you need to be driving over to pick up Ben.”
“Yea, yea. Whatever. If he really loves me, he can wait. I need to document this for when you two get married,” she said snapping a few photos. Y/N rolled her eyes and Shawn chuckled.
“I mean she’s not wrong though. We’re fake dating, who knows what’s next? A fake engagement, a fake wedding. These photos could be of use someday,” Shawn said jokingly while Y/N choked on her spit. The fact that Shawn even thought about getting married to her—even if it was a fake wedding—sent her heart soaring.
“Here, let me take those flowers from you. You guys got to get going if you want to be on time.” Jenna grabbed Y/N’s flowers and shooed them out the door.
*****
The party was exactly like it was every year. It was held at a hotel in the ballroom with a wide staircase leading the way down to the floor. Usually you could just walk in, but this year, since it was themed as a Christmas ball, they were announcing the guests at the top of the steps.
When Y/N and Shawn reached the announcer, Shawn held his arm out and Y/N wrapped her arm around it. Shawn whispered something in the announcer’s ear, and he nodded.
“The beautiful and elegant Y/N, and her boyfriend, Shawn Mendes.”
Y/N bashfully stared down at the people as they looked up at her and Shawn. He was a celebrity after all. She saw Camilla gripping her glass of champagne a little too hard. Camilla was dressed nicely, but Y/N was stunning. She was undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in the room.
The entire night, Shawn stayed by her side, making polite conversation with her coworkers. She saw Camilla pass them quite a few times looking enviously at her.
Y/N’s boss came over to the two as the party was beginning to wind down. “Hello Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you Shawn,” he held out his hand for Shawn to shake, which he did. “I didn’t know you two were dating. There’s been no tabloids or media on it.”
“Well, I like to keep my life pretty private. Especially when it involves Y/N. We’ve been dating for 8 months and before that we were best friends. She doesn’t want to be in the limelight,and I don’t want to pressure her.”
“Makes perfect sense. Well as much as I would love to talk to you, I need to speak with Y/N privately.”
He pulled Y/N aside and Shawn sent her a little thumbs up. They retreated into the hallway, and he spoke softly to her.
“Y/N, you’ve been with the company four years now and I think you are a fabulous employee. You’ve won more cases than anyone at this law firm. And I know you and Camilla have had a little rivalry going on for the past few years, but I was always going to choose you. So, will you take over my spot once I retire at the end of the year? It’s all yours on January first.”
Y/N’s face lit up and she hugged him. But quickly pulled away when she realized how inappropriate that may seem. He chuckled joyfully. “I’m assuming that means yes?”
“Of course!”
“Perfect! I will see you in my office bright and early Monday morning to sign over the legal papers and things like that.”
“Thank you so much!”
“Of course, my dear, you deserve it.”
As she walked out of the hallway, she saw Jenna send her a hug smile and come running over towards her, embracing her. “I’m so proud of you! But I have even better news! Camilla and her fiancé broke off their engagement because he caught her cheating on him!”
“No freaking way! I have to go talk to him right now!”
Y/N searched the ball room for him and saw him standing by the drink table. But what he was doing horrified her.
As Y/N retreated into the hallway with her boss, Shawn couldn’t have felt prouder. She was getting her dream job and she would finally have more flexibility to come visit him.
“Ahem.”
He turned around and was faced with Camilla. Shawn scrunched his eyebrows in confusion then let his face relax.
“Hi, I’m Camilla.”
“I know.”
Camilla’s face lit up. “So, you’ve heard of me. Probably from Y/N. Her and I are good friends.”
Shawn pursed his lips and slowly nodded his head. “That’s not what I’ve heard from her, but I mean if you think you are, that’s great! She’s amazing!” He knew she was trying to get closer to him because he was rich and famous. Y/N had told him about her gold-digging ways.
“So, what have you heard about me? Because I haven’t really heard a lot about you from her.”
“Yea well she doesn’t really want a public relationship.”
“You could do so much better than her. You deserve someone who isn’t afraid to be in the spotlight and won’t mind a paparazzi here and there.”
Shawn was trying to hide his anger as he clenched his jaw. He had to keep reminding himself that it was a public place and not only that, but he didn’t want to damage Y/N’s reputation.
“I really enjoy Y/N’s company and if she doesn’t want people nosing their way into her private life, I respect that. It’s really hard to act happy all the time when you’re having every little move analyzed by the media.”
“Hmm, well I wonder what the media will think about this…” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into her and pressing her lips to his. Shawn pulled her arms off him just as Jenna came storming over and slapped him across the face.
He grabbed his cheek and gasped in pain. “What the hell was that for!?”
“You douchebag! What the hell do you think you’re doing kissing this dumb bitch?!”
“I didn’t kiss her! She came onto me!”
“You better go explain that to Y/N.” She gestured to the door where he saw the backside of Y/N slipping out the door.
“Shit,” Shawn whispered.
He ran after Y/N, faster than he had ever run in his whole life. He caught a flash of her green dress turning the corner and started to yell her name. “Y/N! Y/N stop! Let me explain!” he grabbed her arm, and she turned around furiously.
“Explain what?! That the second I walk out of that room you start making out with that bitch?!” Her eyes flooded with tears and her voice softened. “I…. I thought I knew what kind of person you were. But I guess the fame has really changed you, huh?”
That felt like a slap in the face. Harder than Jenna’s physical slap. “No babe,” the nickname accidentally slipped out. “You don’t understand. I… she came on to me. The second you walked out of the room she started telling all of these lies about how you two are best friends and how I deserve better than you. Which is completely wrong, I don’t deserve you. She must’ve seen you come out of the hallway and knew that you got the job. She was probably just trying to get one last moment of revenge. But you have to believe me okay. Please, honey.” His voice cracked and Y/N let out a sob.
“What did you mean by that?”
“By what?” He questioned wiping a tear off her face.
“You said that Camilla told you that you deserved better than me. Then you said that’s completely wrong. So, are you trying to say you don’t deserve me? Because I’m not all that great. I mean, take Alessia for example. She’s pretty, you both play music, and she’s so obviously into you.”
Shawn chuckled. “You don’t get it do you. No one deserves you. You are the sun on a winter day, love. The earth revolves around you. And you want to know what? For a second there I forgot we were fake dating and I felt so bad that you thought I would cheat on you. But gosh, I don’t want this to be fake. Because I love you. And I’ve loved you as long as I’ve known you.”
More tears fell down Y/N’s face and Shawn tentatively wiped them away. “Shh. Now I’ve gone and ruined our friendship, haven’t I?”
He felt her bury her head into his chest and grasp onto his biceps. “You haven’t ruined anything. I love you too.”
“Well, in that case, would you care if I kissed you? I would really love to get the taste of her off my mouth and only taste you from now on.”
“That sounds like a plan.” And their lips interlocked in a passionate, long-awaited kiss.
When they finally pulled away, Shawn placed his forehead on hers. “So, Alessia’s into me aye? Are you jealous?”
A/N: Hope you liked Day 1 of Ficmas. Tune in tomorrow for Day 2. If you would like to be added to my taglist please PM me.
#Shawnmendes#25dayaofficmas#shawnmendesimagines#shawnmendesxreader#shawnmendesfanfiction#shawnchristmas
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the viens.
#shawnmendes#shawn mendes#music#shawn mendes imagines#shawnmendesimagines#shawn peter raul mendes#shawn#shawn mendes smut#fanfic#shawnblurbs#concert videos#smtt#woah#hottie#loml tag#i love him#help me#guitar#harry styles
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Three Empty Words
You confront Shawn after you find out he’s been cheating
Imagine:
I walk through central park in the snow, holding hands with Shawn. I hear him talking but I’m not listening. My mind is somewhere else.
Shawn stops talking and notices my silence. “Y/n, babe you alright?”
I look down at my boots and all that’s going through my mind right now is him with that girl, him holding that girl,him kissing that girl. He told me he was busy in the studio, so I had made plans with the girls last night to go out. Never had I thought that I’d see Shawn kissing some girl, let alone lie to me.
I went home instantly after, too sad to cry. I woke up to a text from Shawn that read, “Good morning beautiful :) Snow date today??”
So here I am, too heart broken to confront the guy that I love as to why he cheated on me.
Shawn gently shakes me, “babe what’s wrong?? please tell me, i love you.”
I snapped.
“YOU DONT LOVE ME”
He’s taken aback from my outburst and has the nerve to look confused, “W-what do you mean?”
“Save it Shawn, if you loved me, you wouldn’t have been all over her and kissing her last night” I look away, fighting my tears.
He tries to come closer but I yell, “No, don’t come near me again”
“Y/n! Wait, I can explain, please jus-“
“Shut it, you lost the right to explain yourself as soon as you lied to me and decided to cheat on me.” I start to walk away, ignoring his plead to come back and listen to him.
I turn back to say one last thing, “Oh and Shawn, next time you say ‘I love you’ to a girl, make sure they aren’t three empty words”
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that Queen shirt- S.M
Hi, I’ve been super absent and I’m so sorry. I’m starting to heal and move on with my life, so I’ve taken time off of writing, but a life without writing is not one I want. So, here’s a shitty imagine I wrote in like 30 minutes.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I mumbled to myself as my coffee hit the ground, my heart exploded with it.
“That’s not a very nice word to say.” A kids voice behind me states loudly, I could’ve jumped out of my skin. When I turn around, there was the cutest little girl standing there; her brown curls flowing down her shoulders.
“It wasn’t nice at all, I’m sorry. Where are your parents?” I ask and she frowns for a bit. “My mom had two boyfriends.” She states and I had to hide my laugh, I loved when kids overshared their parent's information.
“My daddy is somewhere, I can’t find him. I’m scared.” Her lip started to tremble and I crouched down to her level, engulfing her in a hug. “Do you know your dad's number, darling?” I ask and she nods. “He made me memorize it but I don’t have a phone.”
I handed her mine and she slowly typed in the numbers, I mean she did pretty well for a 5-year-old. I took the phone from her small hands and put it on speaker.
“Hello!” A voice frantically answered and I could tell from her eyes lighting up that it was her dad.
“Daddy!” Her little voice echoed and I heard a sigh of relief.
“Hi, this is y/n. I’m here with your daughter, she came up to me, she’s okay but a little scared. We’re on the corner of 5th Avenue, right by Joe’s Coffee Shack.” I explain while the little girl held on to my hand tightly.
“Okay, thank you. I’ll be there in like 2 minutes thank you.” The phone hung up quickly and I bent back down to her level.
“Your name is Y/n? That’s a pretty name.” She mumbled and I smiled. “What’s your name girly?” I ask while buttoning up her coat. “Millie.” She mumbles again and I grin. “Millie, what a pretty name for such a pretty girl.” I grin when she looks up hopefully.
“Really?” She asks and I nod quickly. “Of course! You’re a little superstar!” I lightly grab her hands.
I looked at my watch to see how long it’d been since the call, not even a minute yet.
“You’re a brave girl, asking for help. How’d you choose me?” I ask I was pretty curious about it.
“I was hiding over there and I saw you walking, you have the same shirt as my daddy.” She pointed to my Queen shirt. “Oh, so your dad is a music guy?” I ask and she giggles. “He’s famous and everything!” She yells and I smile. “Oh, I’m sure he is.” Seems like an adoring child who thinks their dad walks on water.
“Millie Alli Mendes, what in the world were you thinking?” We both look over, well fuck. She wasn’t lying about her dad being famous. I mean I hardly listen to newer music but everyone knew Shawn Mendes. He looks like a straight-up God. She also wasn’t lying about the shirts, we had on the exact same white T-shirt with the band's logo.
“Daddy, I’m so sorry. I saw a puppy on a leash and I followed it, it was so pretty and fluffy. I’m sorry.” Her eyes were watering and his face softened. “Don’t ever do that again, I almost had a heart attack.” He picks her up, finally taking a glance at me.
“Thank you so much —“ he waited for my name, Millie beat me to it. “Y/n. She has a pretty name, doesn’t she daddy?” She asks and he nods. “Very pretty name.” He grins widely. I had told him my name on the phone but I’m sure the adrenaline blocked it out.
“Looks like you dropped your drink, let us buy you a new one. You’ve helped me out today, it’s the least I could do.” He begs and I smile with a nod. “Sure, I can use another one.”
“When she dropped her drink, she used a very bad word daddy.” Millie giggled and I scrunch up slightly. “I did, in my defense, I was really looking forward to the drink before I spilled it.”
However, in my mind, I was thinking about how I wasn’t sure about this situation all, I was being taken to get a drink from a celebrity who lost their adorable child. But I’m not gonna be weird about it, I really wanted my marble frappe.
We ordered and sat down, Millie climbing into my lap a good 3 minutes in. “Millie, be polite and use your manners, maybe she doesn’t want you crawling over her.” He scolds and I shake my head, locking her into my arms. “No, she’s fine. I’ve grown quite fond of her.” I smile towards her, letting her eat a piece of my chocolate muffin.
“Well, you obviously have a great taste in music.” Shawn breaks the barrier, I nod. “I mean, what can I say, you do too apparently.” I joke and he shakes his head.
Time passed as we continued to talk about Millie, music, and stupid shit. It honestly felt so good, I felt like I was catching up with an old friend who I hadn’t seen in a while.
“Well, Millie has dance lessons. Maybe I can see you again soon?” He asks hopefully and I smile.
“As long as Millie is attended to when I first see her.” I joke and he rolls his eyes.
“So it's a hard yes, she’s not leaving my sights like that again.” He smiles
“Yeah? Then where is she right now?” I ask, knowing she was hiding under my legs, plus I heard her giggles.
His eyes widened in a complete panic, I almost felt bad for him but I grabbed his hand gently. I pointed toward the ground and his face relaxed dramatically. He squeezed my hand tightly before letting it go.
“I’ll see you soon. Millie get up here, now.” He sounded stern and I give him a look to be nice.
“I’m telling your grandma about what you did.” He threatens as he walks out of the door, I giggled at the goofiness between both of them. Something about them made my heart feel different, a good way but still different.
————— year & 1/2 later
“Can you please help me tonight baby? I know we’re supposed to go on our date but Mil has a fever and is sick. I can’t get ahold of the nanny, Millie won’t stop crying.” Shawn’s frantic voice filled my phone, my heart sad at the thought that he’s so stressed and that Mil was sick.
“I’ll come over, it’s gonna be alright babe. Bye.”
I stopped into the store to grab some soup before making my way to Shawn’s house, which was right down the road from my apartment.
“I’m here.” I sigh while dropping the soups onto the counter. “Thank you so much, I’m so sorry.” He pleads and I grasp the back of his neck. “Hey, you don’t have to apologize to me. I’m more than happy to stay in and watch Netflix. I can fix soup all night and give her Tylenol every 4 hours. I’m here.” I kiss his lips softly and he shakes his head. “You’re too good to me.”
“I know, but I also know you’ll find a way to make it up to me.” I wink and he shakes his head, small grin on his lips. “Yeah, I think we’ve established that before.”
“Maybe you should see her, she’d be glad to see your face instead of mine. She stopped crying 10 minutes ago when I told her you were on your way.” Shawn adds I nod. “Can you make some soup while I change, then I’ll take it to her,” I suggest and he nods. “Already laid out one of my shirts on my bed.” He smiles and I blushed slightly. “What a gentleman.”
I walked into his room, I’ve spent plenty of nights in here. It was such a beautiful space, the bed was huge and took up most of the room. Our pictures and pictures of Millie filled the halls leading to the room and the room itself.
I walked out of the room with his Queen shirt on, it fit better than mine did. I always insisted on wearing his instead, it smelled like him too, so it was a selling point.
I grab the bowl full of soup and a can of sprite, then head towards her room, her door was open and the tv slightly up.
“Y/n!” She hoarsely let out and it broke my heart. “Hey doll, I brought you something to eat. It’s so good, daddy and I had some in the kitchen.” I lied to make her feel better about eating it, Shawn had explained she didn’t want anything all day. He had to force some crackers.
She took a few bites before pushing it away, sipping on sprite slowly. Usually, this girl was like her dad, eating everything before you could blink. “I don’t feel good at all.” She groans and I take her hand into mine, other one combing through her damp curls.
“It’s gonna be alright. You’re such a tough girl and it’ll be okay.” I smile down at her, she half-heartedly smiles. “Are you staying with me? I don’t want you to get sick.” She whines and I chuckle. “You don’t have to worry about that, if I get sick I’ll just make your daddy take care of me.” I joke and send a small wink.
I could tell she was too tired to hold a full conversation, so I gave her some more Tylenol before heading out of her room with the bowl of leftover soup.
“She ate some of it, took some Tylenol and she looked almost out of it.”
“Thank you so much, I’m sorry again. I’ve just been here all day while she vomits or coughs herself to death. I mean it’s the first time I’ve seen her this sick since she was like 3.” He admits and I frown.
“Well, my years of working in a daycare where sickness spread like gossip are about to be handy.” I joke and he giggles.
“I’m so glad you’re here, you know how to make any mood better.” He groans in a delighted way.
“Well, I’m gonna eat that macaroni salad you had leftover and lay on the couch.” I grin and make my plate, taking it to the couch.
I played AGT while we ate, I heard Millie sneeze or cough occasionally.
—-
The sound of cries filled my ears, I shot up quickly and so did Shawn. “I’ve got it, rest,” I told him and I saw the hesitation in his eyes, but I pushed him back down and made my way to her room.
She was in the bathroom attached to her room, she had got sick again, luckily in the toilet. I stood over her to put her hair up in a bun, in case she did it again. I got a rag to put on her, but the feeling of her skin told me she needed a quick cold shower.
“Baby, let’s get in the shower,” I told her, she started whining and didn’t want to get in. So, I started the water and held her while we both stood underneath the cold water. I’m glad I like cold showers, or my ass would be frozen to death.
I got her out of the wet clothes, she was so whiny the whole time, as expected. Her fever was down and she went straight back to bed.
“Please don’t leave yet, I’m scared.” She called out and I nodded before sitting by her bed.
“It’s okay doll, I’m right here. It’s gonna be just fine. Let’s take some of this medicine and eat some crackers, it’ll help.”
She has finished a few saltines and took a kids NyQuil and Dramamine. By the time the medicine started to work, she was drowsy and ready to fall asleep again. “Goodnight doll.” I kiss her forehead, starting to leave the room.
“Night, mommy.” She mumbled and it stopped me in my tracks, a big smile played on my lips and I felt butterflies all over.
I made my way back to Shawn, shaking his body to wake him up. “Let’s go to bed Shawn, you’re gonna hurt your back.” I tug at his arms. “But, what if she needs us?” He asks and I continue to tug at him. “She took Dramamine and NyQuil, she’s gonna be okay.” I get him up and make our way to the bedroom.
“Why is your shirt wet?” He mumbles as he collapsed onto his bed. “She didn’t want to shower alone,” I explain shortly and he had a small grin on his face. “You’re the best girl I’ve ever had in my entire life.” He smiles up absentmindedly, I shake my head at his goofiness as I change into a different tee.
I lay beside him and he just stares at me warmly. “What?” I ask and he just shakes his head. “You’re just amazing.”
“She called me mom. I know it’s not that big of a deal because we’ve only been together for over a year and a half, plus she’s on drowsy medicine, but it warmed my soul.” His eyes widen and then went back to normal after I said it felt good.
“I mean you’re the most mom figure she’s ever had. I guess you should just move in with us.” He sounded like he was jokingly saying it. “Yeah, okay.” I laugh and he sits up a little to look over at me.
“I’m being serious now like you can move in with us. You won’t have to move that far, unlimited access to Mil and I. We love you and want you here.” He adds and my heart explodes.
“Shawn, are you sure? I’m always here or whatever, but this is different. I don’t want to rush you into this.” I brush out some of his curls, he sighed contently.
“What other girls our age, who isn’t already a mom, going to stay with someone else’s kid to make sure they make it through a virus? Or to jump in a cold shower with them? I don’t want to imagine any other good night or bad night with someone else, it’s gonna be you. I’m sure the mom role isn’t gonna be the easiest nor do I expect it from you because you’re my girlfriend, but someone like you in her life is the best I can get. You’re an outstanding woman and I don’t think I’ll ever be this close to perfection again. There’s no rushing this, it’s you.”
“Baby,” I mumbled with tears in my eyes. I mean he can’t just give me a speech like that and not expect me to want to marry him right now. “You’re the sweetest human on this earth. I just really love the two of you and I mean I love kids because I worked in a daycare, but my love for Millie is so much more. I literally just don’t want her to ever get hurt and I want to watch her grow. I love her most because she’s you, she lacks a mom but she has you and is just like you. You’re as amazingly wonderful and it’s like the tiny human form.”
“So, is that a yes to moving in or a big pretty speech before you crush my soul?” He asks and I chuckle.
“Yes I’ll move in with you, I don’t wanna do this without you guys.”
I watch his face light up more, he kisses all over my face and bear hugs me. “God, this means I get to wake up to your beautiful face every day.” He exclaimed while squeezing the life out of me.
“Can you believe that your daughter saw my Queen shirt and it led to this? Like this whole new life for us?” I ask and he chuckles into the crevice of my neck, the hot air tickling me some.
“Good thing she wasn’t scared off by your potty mouth.” He whispers and I slap his back lightly.
“Hey, don’t be a dick! I dropped my drink.” I pout even though he can’t see it.
He hums approval before nuzzling further into me, arms tight and patterns being traced.
It was calm and almost full silence before he broke it, in a quiet manner though.
“And if the mother role gets to be too much, just tell me. The last thing I want is to lose you from being pressured into it.” He whispers and I shake my head.
“It’s all gonna be alright, Freddie Mercury would believe it’s all gonna work itself out, so I will believe it too. We’re gonna be just fine, love.”
#mendes#shawn#shawn mendes#wow#imagines#shawnmendesimagines#shawnmendespreferences#shawnmendesmasterlist#shawn mendes masterlist#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes preference#shawnmendesblurb#shawnmendesangst#shawnmendesfluff#shawnmendesoneshot#shawnmendes#shawn mendes writing#shawnmendeswriting
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pls read ily
hi loves i love to write and i usually write on wattpad but i feel like nobody sees my stories :( should i write on here more often? i love to write abt spiderman, tom holland, star wars, shawn mendes etc etc. if anyone has requests or questions pls send! and pls help me out if u want, i would love to write more 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
#help a girl out#ignorethesetags#writing#tom holland#peter parker#shawn mendes#the mandolorian#imagines#tomhollandimagines#shawnmendesimagines#peterparkerimagines#tom holland smut#peter parker smut#shawnmendesmut
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Kiss Me
A/N: Hello my loves! Im so sorry that this is so shitty, it is currently 12:00 Am and my brain is melting as I write this, but I hope all of you enjoy hehe. Just a reminder that requests are open so please take advantage!!! Love y'all (:
The faint sound of snoring interrupts my sleep as squint my eyes, attempting to shield them from the light that is streaming through the curtains. Im unable to move, the weight of a six foot tall, curly headed boy keeps me trapped beneath the sheets. Shawn is sprawled out on top of me. His face is hidden in the crook of my neck, his breath tickling the exposed skin. His strong arms wrap around my waist making it impossible for me to move. I can't help but to reach my arm up and run my fingers through his curly hair. He looks so peaceful, I don't understand how someone can look so irresistible just by sleeping.
I feel a sudden pain in my chest as I realize this is our last day together before he goes back on tour. Don't get me wrong, I am so unbelievably proud of him. He is living his dream, workings ass off to keep his success but sometimes I just want him to myself. He is going to be gone for sixth months and I have no idea how my heart is going to handle it.
I wiggle out of his grasp, earning an irritated moan from his lips. He is now fully on his back, his eyes still closed as he tries to return to his comfortable position. I crawl on top of him, both of my legs on either side of his thighs. A big grin spills across my face as the sheets fall off of me, revealing my naked body. The events from last night replay in my head and I can't help but giggle from the butterflies and tingles that jolt through my bones.
I lean down and place soft kisses all over his face. I start on the right side of his cheek and move to the left, I kiss his forehead and move my way down to his chin and end with the tip of his nose. He doesn't budge for awhile, so I take matters into my own hands and go faster till I earn a reaction. He groans again but this time there is a smirk on his face.
“Wake. Up. Baby. Wake. up.wake. up.” I say between each kiss. I’m caught off guard as his arms wrap around my waist. He quickly sits up and pulls me back down on the bed till he is hovering over me. I can't stop the fits of giggles that erupt from within me.
“You know you could have gotten me a lot up faster if you had started with my lips.” His voice is deep and croaky, his eyes puffy and red. I chuckle at the wildness of his hair, my god he is beautiful.
“I think I kissed you enough last night, I wanted to switch things up a bit.”
He slowly leans down and presses his lips to mine. The kiss starts off slow and innocent. His arms pull me closer into him as he depends the kiss. Our tongues fight for dominance, I can't help the moan that falls from my mouth. My hands find the nape of his neck as I lightly tug at his hair, an action I know drives him crazy. The effect he has on me will be something I will never understand. I arch my back of the bed trying to get closer to him if thats even possible. We both tilt our heads, getting completely lost in each other. He pulls away first, resting his forehead against mine.
“You could never give me too many kisses, there will never be enough to completely satisfy me I'm always left wanting more.” His morning voice has me completely weak and he knows it.
“Well you better kiss me as much as possible, after today you will have to wait six months before I can shower you again.” He pulls away from me, resting his head on his elbow so he can look down at me as I turn to face him
“hey, we are going to be okay we’ve done this before.”
“That doesn't make it any easier.” He begins to run his fingers through my hair.
“I know baby, I know.” He leans down and places a sweet kiss on my forehead
I feel my eyes begin to water, I try my best to push back the tears but the thought of him not being here in a few short hours is unbearable.
“Shawn, I don't think I can handle saying goodbye to you again.” I intertwine our fingers.
“Baby, don't think of it as a goodbye, think of it as a ill see you soon. There are no goodbyes between us. I know this hurts and I am going to miss you like hell. But I promise you I will always be here. Just call me I don't care what time it is, if you’re ever missing me just call me.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you more.” I begin to push myself out of bed, but his hand stops me.
“Where are you going?” His bottom lip is pushed out like a child. I pull away from his hand and reach for his shirt that I tore off of him last night. I can feel my cheeks redden from the memory, as I slip it on. I hope to god he doesn't notice.
“I have to go shower, ill be quick I promise.”
“Or.....” He pauses
“Hear me out, we take a shower together.”
“Nice try Mendes, we both know what will end up happening if we shower together.”
“I promise I won't try anything, ill keep my hands to myself.” I raise my brow at him
“Okay, maybe not fully to myself but you get the picture.”
“Alright, but only because you are leaving.” He jumps out of bed and runs towards the bathroom. I roll my eyes as I gather my new shampoo and favorite bottle of body wash. Shawn stands at the shower with his hand under the water making sure the temperature is perfect. I quickly brush my teeth and slip out of shawns t-shirt.
“Ladies first.” Shawn pulls the curtain back and swiftly moves his hand to the direction of the shower.
“You're suck a dork.” I chuckle as I move passed him and into the tub. The warmth of the water feels amazing against my skin. I let the water spill down my hair as Shawn gets in. I feel him reach behind me as he enters. He moves the shower head higher so the water can actually reach his head. The boy is a tree I swear.
“Sorry shorty I gotta move this.”
“Don't call me shorty its not my fault you're a giant.” I watch as he repeats the same actions as me
Can I wash your hair?” The words crawl faster out of my mouth than I expected.
“Only if you let me do yours too.”
“Deal.” I squirt Shawn’s shampoo in my hand and turn to face him. Wow, this height difference is really hitting me right now. I can't even reach his head to wash his hair.
“Uhh baby do you think you could kneel?” He throws his head back as his laughter fills the bathroom
“Oh my God you are so cute.”
“Stop making fun of me I can't reach.”
“Ill kneel for you, you always kneel for me.” he winks and I quickly slap his arm
He kneels down in front of me, his hands firmly on my hips to keep his balance.
He closes his eyes in pleasure as I massage his scalp, his hair is nice and soapy and I waist no time playing with the curls on top of his head.
“Does that feel good Bub?”
“mmmhmmm.” he hums, I rinse his hair placing one hand over his eyes so he doesn't get burned by the soap. I repeat the same actions with the conditioner. This boy is in pure bliss. He stands to his feet.
“Your turn.” To say that his hands were made for this is in understatement. He laughs at my moans I ignore him getting lost in the pleasure that is coursing through my scalp. We both finish up and dry ourselves off.
Shawn makes his way into the bedroom putting on a pair of boxes and hopping back into bed. I take a little longer washing my face, brushing my hair, and fixing up my eyebrows.
“Babe do you mind if I use your speaker to put on some music?” he calls from the bedroom
“Go ahead Bub.” I begin to straighten up the mess I made in the bathroom until I hear the song he chose. Kiss me, by Ed Sheeran. My heart skips a beat as I think of the first time he kissed me, this song was playing in the background.
I walk out of the bathroom and lean against the door frame. Shawn sits on the bed smiling like he fool. He slowly rises and makes his way into the middle of the room. He stops and opens his arms.
“Dance with me?” STOP BEING SO CUTE
My feet move before I can even think. I walked s towards him and he wraps me in his arms. I rest my head against his chest as he sway back and forth to the music.
“You should wear my shirts more often by the way.”
“I will be,I'm stealing most of them. Oh and your Harvard hoodie, yeah you're never getting that back.”
“Thats my favorite one.”
“It smells like you.”
“You can keep it while I'm away baby, I don't mind.”
“I don't want you to leave.”
“I don't want to leave you.” I rest my forehead against his
“What do we do when the music stops?” I whisper
“When I'm wiht you, the music never stops.”
“Kiss me.”
“Always.”
The End
HEEEYY YALLL sorry this was TRASH. It is now 1:21 Am and I am dead ahahahahaha. sorry I'm acting like a crack head and I'm sorry for all the grammatical errors. My brain is dead right now. I promise I will post tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be as tired.But yeah gn and love ya.
#ShawnMendes#Shawn Mendes#Shawnmendesimagines#Shawn Mendes imagines#Shawnmendesfluff#Shawn Mendes fluff#Shawn Mendes Fanfiction#Shawn Mendes x reader#Shawnmendesxreader#fallingallinyou#kiss me#writing#in my blood#imagines
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Idk if u already did but i rly liked the angsty blurb where he said another girl’s name. Could you do a second part pls? I don’t see how it could end in anything but more angst, but i like to see angst stories where the mc is empowering herself and stuff while still acknowledging how hurt she is :(
Lucky for you I’m in a really angsty mood tonight so this could be really sad let’s go. ..
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Y/n wasn’t sure how long she had locked herself away in the bathroom for but by the exhaustion she felt from crying and the way her body ached she could tell that it had been longer than needed. Call her immature or petty but the last thing she wanted right now was to face Shawn. She felt so worthless and unimportant.
She hadn’t even been enough to take the thought of another girl off of her boyfriend minds while they were having sex. He was thinking of another girl, he said her name. Right now y/n couldn’t bare the thought of even thinking if that name again in fear she might fall apart again.
It was hard to describe the agony she felt right now. The man she loved and had devoted herself to through thick and thin had uttered another woman’s name while they were making love.
No matter how much she tried to tell herself that it was a slip up, that he couldn’t have possibly meant it, deep down she knew it was all false hope. The distance that had grown between them made it obvious. Everything they had built was broken, it was all shattered and gone.
She had thought Shawn was truly the one for her, believed it to her core, but it’s obvious he wasn’t. If he was this space that made the, feel as if they were world away wouldn’t have grown between them.
For so long she had known what it was coming to but refused to believe it, when he had said another girls name that was when the reality of the situation struck her like a knife to the chest. For so long said knife had been placed in front of her but she trusted Shawn enough to know he wouldn’t use it on her, how wrong she had been.
Y/n tried to be as quite as possible as she made her way out of the bathroom, first she checked to make sure the coast was clear and then she stepped out. She didn’t have the energy inside of her to behold a conversation with Shawn. The real question was what would she do now.
She didn’t want to let go of Shawn but she knew she had to before this got any worse. The passion that had been present from the start had fizzled away leaving nothing but memories in its wake. She couldn’t cling inti memories to savour her relationship, that wouldn’t help anyone.
“Y/n I swear it didn’t…” Y/n flinched at the sound of Shawn’s voice. She hadn’t seen him yet but she had heard his abrupt approach from behind her as she hovered over the bed. The bed that sickened her to look at because now all she could picture was the way he uttered another girls name when he should have been crying out here.
His tone held panic as if he knew the final string between them had been snapped and there was nothing left for them to hold onto or tie them together. It was done.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Y/n’s droned her voice lifeless and filled with emptiness as if it couldn’t be more obvious enough that she had finally given up. All those weeks and month of trying to get back what they once had had taken its toll on her. Everyone has their breaking point and he had just pushed her to hers.
Shawn remained as still as a statue, cautious as he watched y/n climb into bed without a simple look in his direction.
“Can I?” He pointed to his side of the bed but she didn’t answer.
It wasn’t late but it felt as if she had gone days Without sleeping. Her body ached from all the crying she had done and her mind begged to be switched off so it could stop racing with such harsh thoughts.
“Can we talk about it in the morning?” Y/n nodded in response but she knew this was a lie.
There would be no morning for them. When Shawn would wake she would be long gone and out of his life. She wouldn’t tare herself apart to keep him whole. Although she wanted nothing more than to have him answer her question and tell her exactly where she went wrong she couldn’t bare the thought of trying anymore.
What was the point if she knew the outcome would be no good?.
Why waste her time?
#Shawn mendes#Shawn mendes imagine#shawnmendesimagines#Shawn mendes imagines#Shawn mendes oneshot#Shawn mendes blurb#Shawn mendes blurb request#shawn mendes fan fiction#Shawn mendes fic#Shawn mendes angst#Shawn mendes blurbs#Shawn mendes x reader#Shawn mendes fiction#Shawn mendes story
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Main Masterlist!
Draco Malfoy:
Tom Holland:
Peter Parker:
Enoch O'Connor:
#masterlist#fandoms#tomhollandxreader#tomhollandimagines#tomholland#shawnmendesxreader#shawnmendesimagines#shawnmendes#enochoconnorimagines#enochoconnorxreader#enochoconnor#dracomalfoyxreader#dracomalfoyimagines#dracomalfoy#peterparkerimagines#peterparkerxreader#peterparker
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Body
Summary: Affectionate!Shawn
a/n: Hi. I just had an idea and random spur of wanting to write something so here I am after the long wait, and excuse me if this is not good at all. Its been awhile. I’m also trying to procastinate working on my scholarship lol. And I can’t believe that there is 1k notes on The Not Shawn Mendes Tour. That is so freaking insane for me. And it has come to my attention that the Goodbye link on my masterlist did not work, I have now fixed it and it should be good to go! But enjoy!!
masterlist / request / ask
Your name: submit What is this?
“This forehead,” Shawn kissed your forehead and looked down at you since he was on top of you. “Have and will receive many kisses. In there is also that amazing brain of yours that never stops thinking.”
“You love it.” You giggled while your hand was on his jawline. After dinner, Shawn was just in a very affectionate mood. He carried you from the kitchen and laid you on the bed, what you thought was going to be a night of having sex turned into him loving on you instead.
“I do,” He leaned down his face to kiss you somewhere on your face, closing your eyes, not knowing where he actually will. You felt him kiss your right eyelid and then your left. “And these gorgeous eyes have seen many beautiful things. They also have seen things I wish I could just erase from your memories. They’ve shed tears of joy and of sadness, some of which I’m the reason of.”
You smiled at him, cheeks flushed red. You weren’t sure about what to say-speechless actually. He smiled back at you and kept going. “How can I forget that mouth of yours?” He leaned down and kissed you. You could never get tired of kissing him. You could probably kiss him forever if you could. He pulled away and you pouted slightly. “You look so cute when you pout. This mouth of yours can be real sassy, but it has told me numerous times how loved I am and encouraged me. It also have made me feel good,” Shawn winked and continued. “And feel special.”
Shawn kept on kissing you from your cheek down to your neck. You tilted your head to give him more access to the skin, but instead of staying there and planting a hickey like always, he kept on going. You were confused but you just let him. He continued on to your shoulders, kissing every part of skin slowly-taking his time.
He got up from being on top of you, you immediately missed his touch the moment he stopped. You watched him grab something from the night. You couldn’t tell what it exactly was, thinking it was just a condom, you ignored it. When he sat down, you crawled to him and straddled his lap. He placed one of his hands the small of your back. His other hand pushing the strand of hair that fell on your face. You snaked your hands around his neck and rested them behind his neck.
You watched as Shawn take your left hand and smile when he saw the blue and black beaded bracelet that had his first name on it. He remembered that he made it for you years ago, with the help of Aaliyah. He kissed the back of your hand. “This hand. I’ve held it so much. It has held my heart and will hold my heart forever.” He continued on to kissing each finger. He stopped at the ring finger, and looked you in the eye. “This finger will hold the symbol of forever for us.”
Shawn reached for the blue and black beaded bracelet and ran his finger on the white beads marked with faded letters that spelled out his name, anybody would definitely be able to that you’ve had it for awhile. He’s bought you all kinds of jewerly, but you always still wore the bracelet. It had a lot of sentimental value.
“I gave you a bracelet with my name on it years ago and you’ve been wearing it ever since,” Shawn pulled a red velvet box from beside him, what you thought was him getting a condom was really him getting a ring. He opened the box and you couldn’t help but bring your hand to your mouth. ”I think its time that I give you a ring and my last name.”
#1-800-sassy-mendes#shawn mendes imagine#shawnmendesimagine#shawn peter raul mendes#shawnmendesimagines#shawn mendes fanfic#shawnmendes fan fic#shawnmendes fanfic#shawnmendes imagine#shawnmendes imagines#shawn mendes fan fic#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes au#shawnmendesau#shawnxy/n#y/nxshawn#y/n#stories#blurb#short#short stories#shawnmendes#shawn mendes alternative universe#shawnmendes au#shawn#marriage#romance#shawn blurb#shawn imagines#shawnimagines
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losin control
Summary : Based on the song ‘Losin Control’ by Russ. You find it hard to give your love and trust to Shawn because of the way your ex treated you, despite Shawn telling you that his intentions were nothing like your ex. Even though Shawn is proving to you that he isn’t going to take your love for granted you still battle an internal conflict because of your past relationship.
Word count : 1,685
(Lots of skips and fast forward)
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Your POV
“So really, I truly do hate tomatoes. I’m pretty bummed I’m not allergic to them.” Shawn admits with disgust. I’ve been laughing at him for the past hour as we talked about some random stuff. We were sitting on the coach of my small living room watching the telly while eating popcorn. Not sure if I would call it a date, both of us never clarified it. But I knew I was falling for this man. We have been friends for a while now. That’s just it, just friends. That’s what I tell myself all the time whenever I’m with him because I know for a fact I’m not up to Shawn freaking Mendes’ standards. I don’t think I’m up to anyone’s standards.
I sighed to the thought of it, earning a concerned look from Shawn. “Hey what’s wrong?” He said rubbing my arm, which surprised me since this was the first time he was so physical. I flinched slightly at the sudden act to which he muttered ,”Sorry.” I quickly reassured him,”No Shawn don’t be. I was just uh thinking about something else..” I tried to laugh it off, hoping the conversation would change from this awkward madness. I quickly looked back at him, “So when are you leaving?” I asked. “Ah the tour? I’m leaving this Friday.” Fuck that’s in another 3 days . The thought of him leaving made me sad, even though I wasn’t even dating this man. I just got sad by his absence. Another clear sign I was falling for him.
“Ah, shouldn’t you be preparing yourself? Like packing or something.” I asked.
“It can wait.” He laughed. “Shawn! Are you prepared? This is a big thing. I hope coming over wasn’t a big mistake.” I hit his arm playfully.
“Being with you is never a mistake.” He said. “It’s really all I liked to do.” He added, looking into my eyes. “Shawn...”
Perhaps Shawn was being friendly so I laughed it off, “Ah we can always FaceTime or something. You will have so many friends coming along with you, the crew! I’m sure it’ll be fine.” I reassured.
“That’s not really what I meant.” He said. I gulped. My heart started to race. “So.. what do you mean?” I finally asked.
With no words, Shawn leaned in closed, and I knew where this was going. Don’t flinch Y/N. Don’t flinch. I closed my eyes and I soon felt his soft lips press on mine. I could taste the hint of caramel from the popcorn we had earlier on. Things escalated passionately as he wrapped his hands around my waist to pull me closer. I didn’t remember the last time I kissed..which was with my ex. The thought pulled me away from the kiss, but not roughly, I slowly parted my lips away. Still letting our noses touch. The whole situation was still a bizarre , I wanted to know what was going on.
“Shawn...”
“Oh god you have no idea how long I waited to do that.” He whispered. “Y/N , I’m in love with you. And I mean it.” With my hands around his neck, I looked into his eyes and I smiled, which almost brought me to tears. I shake my head, “You have no idea how I feel about you too, Shawn.” And I kissed him again passionately.
-
“I’m going to miss you Y/N.” Shawn said as he pulled me into a hug. “I’ll contact you once I land, so check on your phone yeah? Unless you’re busy.” He asked. I nodded, “No worries. You have fun okay? Stay safe , please . This is really exciting for you and I’m super proud of you.” I said to him in the hug, he hugs me tighter. We pull away, “So Y/N what are we?” He asked, holding both of my hands.
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t come up with the right words. I wanted to express how I felt but I flinched at the thought. I immediately thought of the commitment, and I feared a broken heart. I feared what I had experienced in the past.
Shawn sighed, which made me feel guilty. “You can think about it okay? I understand.” I nodded and thanked for his understanding. He knew about my past with my ex. But I couldn’t help but to feel so guilty for leaving Shawn without an answer. He hugged me one last time and shared our goodbyes.
-
“Hey how’s the tour going on so far?” I ask Shawn on FaceTime. “Ah man Y/N I’m exhausted.” I immediately felt guilty for calling him in the first place, I should’ve never called. “Oh I’m so sorry Shawn I didn’t know.. I’ll hang up and we’ll talk again soon yeah? Have some rest.” .
“No Y/N I want to hear you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you... about us..”
“Shawn... I-I don’t know what to say. I like you too. You have no idea.. I just..” I sighed. “It’s your ex right?” . I nodded. “Y/N... I’m not like him I swear. I would never treat you the way he did. He doesn’t see what I see. He doesn’t see what all of us sees. You’re so beautiful Y/N. Which is why I’m falling so hard for you. I know that I can treat you better. (Pun intended ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).” He expressed. Tears formed in my eyes and I quickly used the sleeves of my sweater to wipe them away. “Come on tour with me.”
What . “Shawn no way, I-“ . “No Y/N I mean it. I want to show you the world. I want you by my side.”
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It’s been 2 weeks into the tour so far after I joined in. It’s been amazing. The crowds. Shawn was truly amazing live. I couldn’t help but to fall in love every time I see him on stage. A part of me felt so lucky to be able to have him in my life. We were finally dating after I came on tour. But a part of me still felt insecure.
After every concert Shawn would come back exhausted. We were in Amsterdam for the weekend and Shawn insisted we stay on for a while. We were in bed, cuddling. Lights were out but we still had the light coming in from the window. Shawn rubbed circles on my back as we talked. His hand slowly traced down to my legs. He was gentle. He looked up to me, “You make me so happy.” To which I smiled. We kissed and the kiss grew more passionate, especially in the moonlight. Shawn’s hands made his way up to my thighs. I flinched and I broke the kiss. “Babe I’m so sorry, I should’ve asked.” I shake my head, “No Shawn it’s not your fault..I just.. I just I’m not ready.” I sighed. Shawn cupped my face, “It’s alright. I want you to know you can trust me.” . I nodded, “Thank you.”
-
It’s been a year since we’ve started dating now. And I only start growing more and more worried. The ticking on the clock only makes me panic at the possible thoughts that Shawn might’ve left me. Despite how much he tries to reassure me it never stopped me from feeling this way. It was 1am now and I sit down on the coach, worried. Shawn hasn’t been replying my texts lately and I tried my best not to sound annoying to him. But today made me worried. I went to bed alone. I woke up to no trace of him at all. He didn’t reply his phone. He was not on social media. I grew worried. Twitter didn’t make me feel better. Shawn had been involved in a few performances lately and he was always snapped in the bar after a performance with his mates and some girls. I couldn’t help but to feel like he wasn’t interested anymore. Tears form up in my eyes.
I hear the door click open and immediately looked back. “Shawn!” I run to him. I start crying, “Why haven’t you called?! I’ve been worried sick.” I start crying, beating his chest. He wrapped his arms around me as tears ran down my cheeks like a river. I stop beating and cried into his chest. “I thought you left. I thought maybe you’d find someone else. I thought you aren’t happy with me anymore.” I cried. He tried to calm me down. “I would never. I’m not him Y/N.”
And that was how Shawn was. Despite everything he never failed to reassure me. I felt like a burden. I love Shawn but it was an en endless battle I had to face after the trauma. The trauma of being neglected and cheated on by my ex. It was painful for sure. Because I once did fall for my ex just as much as I did for Shawn. I wasn’t sure until when was this internal conflict going to last.
Shawn expressed his dedication to make me look at love the way he sees it, to let me change my perspective on things and to finally live the life I want with him. He didn’t stop and never stopped showing his love, which gave me a hope in true love after all.
-
Hi guys I wrote this in a rush. I’m so sorry if it’s crap. I might make another one like this but we’ll see hehe. Tell me what you guys think
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Day 3–Gingerbread Competition (25 Days of Ficmas)
A/N: Thanks for reading! Requests are open. If you want to be added to my taglist, PM me.
Summary: Shawn and Y/N have their annual Christmas competition and Shawn might have a surprise up his sleeve
Warnings: Swear Words
“Mom, do you think this ring is good enough?” Shawn popped open the velvet box and Karen admired it.
“Honey, that ring is gorgeous. If anyone is going to know Y/N’s taste, it would be you. You’ve been with her for a year now. Plus, do you really think Y/N is going to say no if she doesn’t like the ring? You two can always go back in and exchange it for a different one.”
Shawn sighed. “I know, I just want everything to be perfect. I can’t mess this up.”
Karen laughed at her son. “This day will be perfect no matter if you mess up or not. She loves you, you love her. Everything will be fine in the end.”
“You’re right.”
“I know I am. Now go help your father get those gingerbread houses set up. And make sure you give Y/N the right one.” She patted his cheeks and sent him off to the dining room.
“Which one should be Y/N’s,” Manny asked his son as he gestured to all the premade gingerbread houses.
“Umm.” Shawn tried to find the perfect one for her and placed the ring inside the open slot for the door. He hid it in the corner so it wouldn’t be visible to her.
A few minutes later, the sound of laughter was heard throughout the house as Y/N and Aaliyah entered the house. Shawn rushed to greet his girlfriend and pulled her into a hug, kissing the side of her head.
“Hello to you too, Shawn,” she chuckled rubbing his back up and down. “When are we starting the competition?”
“In a few minutes. We have to wait for Dad to finish putting them together. You’re so going down Y/N.”
Every year, the Mendes family had a gingerbread competition. It was always split into two partnerships and the loser of the competition had to smash their gingerbread house. This year, it was Karen versus Manny. Aaliyah versus her boyfriend. And Shawn and Y/N versus each other. The way the winner was determined was through Instagram. One person from the pair of people would post a poll on their Instagram, and whoever got the most votes, won.
This year Shawn had a master plan to get Y/N to lose. Earlier in the day, he had told his followers via Instagram story to vote for the second of the two gingerbread houses which would be his. His followers didn’t know it was going to be his gingerbread house that they were voting for as the creator of the gingerbread house had to remain anonymous. Then, when Y/N lost, she would smash her gingerbread house and find the engagement ring. And then Shawn would propose to her.
And to keep this all hidden from Y/N, Aaliyah had taken her to the mall to go Christmas shopping. She tried to prevent Y/N from looking at her phone.
Shawn would’ve taken Y/N to a fancy restaurant to propose, but the annual gingerbread competition was a meaningful thing for the two. It had been their first date.
Shawn and Y/N met at the beginning of his third world tour. She was Connor’s assistant, learning the ropes of film and photography from him. Shawn had taken an instant liking to her. The guys constantly teased him about his crush. Finally, with lots of convincing, he gained the confidence to ask her out.
And since he didn’t want to overwhelm her with the plethora of fans and paparazzi on their first date, he took her back to his hometown to compete in his family’s Christmas competition.
Last year, she beat Shawn by a landslide. When it came to hand crafts, Y/N was a lot better at it than Shawn. Which is what scared him the most. What if it was so obvious that he lost that Y/N wouldn’t believe the results and would ask for a rematch? What if his fans did the opposite of what he said and voted for option number 1?
Shawn led Y/N to the couch to go sit down with her. Being around her made him nervous as hell. But it also made him think he could do anything with her by his side. He was excited to start this new chapter in their lives, but nervous for what it entailed.
“You okay there?” Y/N had noticed the shift in his demeanor, but he continued to rub the back of her hand with his thumb.
“Yea. I just missed you. And it’s snowing so I was a little nervous about you making it here safe.”
She picked his hand up and kissed his fingertips that were blistered from playing the guitar. “Babe, I’ve driven in the snow before. It wasn’t too bad out there. I’ve been in worse.”
“Yea, but I don’t know. I want you to call me the next time you’re in a snowstorm. It would make me feel more comfortable.”
Y/N chuckled. “Alright hon. If that’s’ what would make you feel better.” He nodded his head and pushed it into her chest. She rubbed her hands through his scalp, and he sighed with content.
He had been extra clingy sense the past week that they had spent at Shawn’s parents’ house. Not that she was complaining, she loved clingy Shawn. But usually, it meant he was feeling stressed about something.
“You’re sure you’re ok? You don’t need to talk about anything?”
He nodded his head. “I’m fine. Promise,” his mumbled voice said. “You’re so comfy. I feel like I’m going to fall asleep.”
“Well how about you don’t do that. Jordan just got here so let’s get the competition started,” Aaliyah said, smiling at the two from her spot in the living room. Jordan stood behind her sending a little wave to them.
“Hey Jordan. How’s it going?” Y/N questioned.
Jordan laughed nervously. “It’s good. How are you guys?”
“We’re more than good,” Shawn replied.
They both stood from the couch and followed the couple into the kitchen. Y/N and Shawn sat next to each other. Aaliyah and Jordan across from them, and Manuel and Karen on opposite sides of the table.
“Alright, let the annual Mendes gingerbread competition begin.” Manny flipped over the hourglass set to go for half an hour, and they all began making their houses.
Y/N picked up her frosting and quickly started making icicles along the roof of the house. Shawn used the icing to stick candy lights on it. He looked over at Y/N to see her tongue peeking out of her lips in concentration. He smiled to himself. He couldn’t wait to marry this girl.
Shawn tried really hard this to make his better than Y/N’s. Last year, Y/N had won the competition. Shawn hadn’t really tried because he always won against Aaliyah and didn’t see a point. But this year he had to step up his game.
“And time!” Manny yelled as the last drop of sand fell through the hourglass. Shawn looked over at Y/N’s gingerbread house and was proud to see that hers wasn’t all that better than his. He caught her also eyeing his and he sent her a smirk.
“You’re so going to lose.”
“Hmm, ok. Whatever you say Mendes.”
Shawn posted the photos of the gingerbread houses and the poll. As they waited for the results to come in, they all sat down to watch ‘Elf.’ After the movie ended, Shawn pulled out his phone. His heart was beating as he looked at the poll results. He was relieved to see he had won.
“Look,” he shoved the phone in Y/N’s face and held up an L on his forehead. “You lost.”
Y/N was shocked but accepted her defeat. The whole family followed Y/N into the kitchen. Little did she know that she was the only one smashing her house and that there was a life-changing surprise hidden in it.
“Ok, you ready?”
“This is so sad,” Y/N lamented the loss of her gingerbread house before picking up the tiny wood mallet. It didn’t require much force to break the house with it and it wouldn’t damage the ring.
Shawn felt his heart stop as she broke the roof and saw the ring. A confused look flashed across her face and then Shawn grabbed it from inside the gingerbread house and knelt down.“My bad. I must’ve lost this. I think it belongs to you. That is if you, Y/N L/N will marry me?”
Y/N gasped in surprise. Her mouth opened and her right hand went up to cover it. “Are you being serious?”
Shawn nodded his head, feeling lightheaded from the nerves.
“Of course! Do you even need to ask that question?!” Y/N threw herself into Shawn’s arms. He embraced her as the two toppled over onto the hard wood floor giggling.
“Here, let me put it on. I hope you like it. I was really worried you might not.”
She sat up as he slid the ring onto her finger and kissed her hand gently. “It’s beautiful Shawn. This is perfect. I can’t wait to marry you.”
He pulled her into a passionate kiss and the Mendes and Jordan cooed at the newly engaged couple.
*****
Later that night, as they watched a Hallmark on Shawn’s computer in his room, Y/N asked Shawn a question that had been weighing on her mind all night. “Hey Shawn, what would you have done if you lost?”
Shawn laughed nervously. “Well actually, I couldn’t have lost. I told my followers to vote for the second house which was mine. I couldn’t risk losing and not proposing to you tonight.”
“Y/N sent him the death stare. “So, you’re saying that I actually won, and you mad me smash my gingerbread house?!”
“Hey, my house wasn’t that bad. I think even without telling my followers to vote for me I would’ve won.”
“Shawn, let’s be real, I definitely won that competition.”
“Ok fine, you’re right. But just because I love you.”
A/N: If you want to be added to my taglist, PM me. Feedback is appreciated
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these pictures >>>>
#shawn mendes#shawnmendes#shawn mendes imagines#shawnmendesimagines#shawn#shawn peter raul mendes#shawn mendes smut#fanfic#shawnblurbs#music#i might have cried#smol bean#cutiepie#how could i resist#his smile#hes so precious#shawn mendes happy#shawn mendes smile#shawn mendes edit#shawn fluff#shawn mendes gif#shawn mendes calvin klein#boyfriend#how can you not love him#wish you were here
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Just Like A Movie
Inspired by Just Like A Movie by the Wallows
Imagine:
It was a typical Friday night. Which meant Brian would be throwing a crazy party at his house. Y/n and Shawn had been dating for a couple of months. They always went to Brian’s wild parties, considering Brian is Shawn’s best friend. They both weren’t party people but, they made the best out of it.
Y/n had just arrived at Brian’s house. She looked around for Shawn. Everyone always tried so hard to relate with each other. Finally, Y/n had spotted Shawn walking towards her.
“I’m tired of having pointless conversations with people we don’t know.” Shawn said, as he hugged Y/n. What Y/n loved most about Shawn, was the fact he felt the same way about everything, just like her.
Some random song was playing in the background, Y/n and Shawn started to sway while holding on to each other. They both cherished moments like these. Y/n starts to notice people staring at them, and slowly starts to freak out.
“I swear we can never get away from this song. Can you hear me? Is there a world where we can be alone?” Shawn says, as he grabs Y/n’s hand, leading her out of the crowd.
Shawn always knew how to calm Y/n down. Especially, when there are big crowds. They both sneak out of the party. White lights was all Y/n could see, as they were running down the stairs. Everyone was now wasted at the party, throwing away their lives. it’s all the same, ‘cause no one ever tries.
Shawn and Y/n ran out of the house, quickly falling onto the grass. They both just laid there, staring up at the stars. “How can it be that we are just the same?” Y/n asks Shawn, staring into his hazel eyes. She had never met anyone that was just like her, and understood her.
“Well, you see right through me. I don’t want to wait, not anymore. Do you see straight through that?” Shawn says, as he takes Y/n’s hand in his, interlocking them.
“And now I see, you see right through me. Now it’s real, just like a movie. I don’t want to wait, not anymore.” Y/n says, meaning every word.
They both enjoyed laying in silence, as they stared up at the stars. Until Shawn said, “Well I don’t know how anyone could wait. The weekends up, they’re trying to relate.”
They both now did this every Friday, whenever Brian had his party. Ditch the crowd to lay on the grass, while watching the stars.
#Shawn mendes#Shawn Mendes imagines#Shawn Mendes fanfic#Shawn Mendes smut#Shawn Mendes fluff#shawnmendes#shawnmendesimagines#shawn mendes x you#imagine
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“You’re not my mom.”
Fluffy angst
My heart, wow I want his kids
GIF creds to owner
“You’re not my mom, so stop acting like it. Not that you’d be good at it anyways! I hate you!” Shawn’s 11-year-old daughter, Ella, yelled at me earlier... yet it still rang through my ears.
It was true, I wasn’t her biological mom but I married Shawn when she was 7 1/2 and since then I’ve helped raise her. Her mom was kinda active in her life and I would never want to replace her, but it wasn’t like I didn’t see her as my own.
Shawn had stepped out to go get lunch for us all after the whirlwind of emotions we had gone through this morning. Between Ella’s mom not showing up to pick her up and my pregnancy giving off too many hormones, we were all filled with uneasiness.
I had only wanted to help her because I could tell how disappointed she was since her mom bailed, again. I knew damn well I was being too pushy and I just had to fix it, but I made it worse, and her preteen hormones kicked in.
I know kids say things they don’t mean when they’re mad, hell, adults do it too. It’s just that I know it hit me harder because I am carrying Shawn’s kid. I’m going to be a mom in less than 4 months and I’ve always questioned if I’ll be a good mom to her. Then, the added stress of not knowing if Ella would be jealous and hate her sister added on to it.
I felt tears run down my face rapidly as I ate out of the tub of ice cream, I felt so awful as a person. I tried so hard to just push it off but I couldn’t. So I continued to just cry and eat.
—
I was in our room when I heard Shawn come through the front door, I fixed myself to look like I hadn’t been sobbing my eyes out. “Girls! I’m home and have food!” He yelled and I heard Ella open her door and I waited until she was down the stairs before I made my way down too.
“I picked up some more ice cream, I noticed we were almost out,” Shawn mentioned as he held up the tub for me to see before placing it in the freezers. “Thanks,” I mumbled with a smile and dug out my meal from the bag.
I sat down at the table, dipping my fries into the ranch solemnly as Shawn and Ella chatted about hockey. I loved their bond and before today, I knew Ella and I had our own bond.
“Ya feeling okay?” Shawn asks and Ella gives me a pleading look, so I nod my head. “I’m fine, just super tired today.” I lie and continue to eat.
——
The night proceeded on as they watched hockey and Harry Potter, but I just felt nothing but heartache at the sight. I knew I was the reason she was upset for tonight because I was overly motherlike and I would soon be the reason she’d be angry because I was having a kid.
“I’m gonna head to bed, I’ll see you two curly-heads in the morning,” I mumble and make my way to the staircase, tears already started to make their way down my cheeks. I stopped halfway to suck in air, I was trying my hardest not to let a sob escape my quivering lips.
“You okay?” I heard Shawn yell from the living room. I cleared my throat quietly before giving him a response.
When we got to the room, I went to the bookshelf by the closet door, I found the old photo album from a few years ago.
I flipped through the pages of pictures, Ella had her brown curls a mess on our wedding night, it made me giggle a little. She reminded me so much of her dad, she had his hair and laugh, the big brown eyes and kind soul, even though she could say some mean things I knew how much of a heart she had.
I skipped through the album to some of her first “big girl” recitals at the dance studio, I remembered how she cried on my shoulder that night because her mom didn’t show up.
I had to choke back more cries as I tried not to think of all the times I had tried to be her mom, maybe I tried too fucking hard. I had pushed her away and made her hate me, literally.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” I hadn’t even heard Shawn’s footsteps come up the stairs. I push the album aside and wipe my tears away quickly. “Nothing. Nothing, just hormones.” I lie and turn the bedside light off, trying to make it seem like I was getting ready for bed.
“You’ve been acting different since lunch, what’s going on?” He flipped the light back on and got closer to me, I just shook my head.
“It’s honestly nothing, you should be having fun with El.” I tried to crack a smile but he wasn’t taking it.
“I’ll go back down there when you tell me what’s wrong.”
“I tried to console Ella today and she snapped at me, no big deal okay.” I tried to play it off and he crossed his arms.
“What’d she say?” He asks and I shake my head, it was one stern look and I was a blubbery mess.
“Sh-She told me I wasn’t her mom and that I wouldn’t be good a-at it anyways. She sai-said she hated me.” I forced the sentences out while I sobbed into my hands, admitting it hurt like hell.
His mouth fell agape and I could see his cheeks getting red with anger.
“Babygirl, I swear I’ll have a talk with her. I’m so sorry that she said that and you know as well as I do that you’ve been the best mother figure to her. You’re gonna make an amazing mother to our other daughter, you already are to Ella.” He comforts and I sniffle some more.
“What if I’m not? What if she hates me more because I’m some new mom to a little sister and she still hates me, she hates that we got married. I’m so sorry.” I sob into my hands and he jumped forward to hold me in his arms.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay darling. You are so amazing to the both of us and there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s just being a brat because she’s hurt. She loves you and you know that I’m so sorry you’re hurting.” He whispers and rubs my back soothingly.
“You’re sure?” I ask and he nods quickly.
“Ella!” Shawn yells and my eyes widen drastically. “Shawn, no I don’t want to let her see me like this!” I flip the light off and he turns it on just as quickly.
Ella came into the room and I was trying to sink further into the bed but I couldn’t. “Yeah, dad?” She asks and he moves so she can see me.
“You really hurt Y/n’s feelings this morning, I need you to see how bad.” He scolds and she looks at me, her eyes widen.
“I- I am so sorry Y/n. I didn’t mean what I said and I was just being mean.” Her lip quivered and it made me feel awful for even being upset over it.
“Just because you were mad doesn’t mean you get to say hurtful things. Words have an impact.” Shawn scorns her and she had tears falling out of her pretty hazel eyes.
“I know and I’m so sorry!” She cried and I opened my arms for her, she came over quickly and jumped in bed beside me. She cried on my shoulder and I felt my heart warm some.
“I’m just so mad at my mom because she’s never there for me and I want her to be like you. She never cares!” She sobs and I look over to Shawn, I see his heartbreak too.
“She cares about you,” I whisper and she shakes her head. “No she doesn’t and I’m mad because when my sister comes you’re not going to care about me anymore either! You’re going to just be her mom.” She was choking on her tears and I sit her up quickly.
“Hey, that’s not true. You’ve been a big part of my life and I love you even though I didn’t have you. I’ll love you just as much as I love your sister, okay? You’re my girl, Ella, I wouldn’t trade you for the world.” I brush the stray curls out of her eyes, they had fallen out of her bun.
“Babygirl, y/n and I will not love you any less just because we’re having a baby. You’re my world, all of you are.” Shawn held his arms out and she leaped into his too.
I sniffled the rest of my tears back in and she pulled away from Shawn. “I wanna call you mom but I don’t wanna betray my other mom.” She cried some more and I rub her shoulder soothingly, it touched my heart that she even wanted to call me mom.
“I can be Y/n or mom, either way, I’m going to love you the same,” I tell her and she gives me a big hug. “I love you, okay? Can you please come back downstairs to watch the movie with us?” She asks and I kiss her head, giving her a short nod.
“I’m going to make you some popcorn!” She ran out of the room and Shawn gave me a smile. “See, I told you so.” He kisses my hand and I shook my head. “I love you, you know that?” He adds and I nod slowly.
“I love you too.” I kiss his cheek and he wraps his lean arms around me.
“I’m so glad we have a family and that I get to live this life with you. My love for you will always be the same, Y/n. Always.”
#shawn mendes#shawn#mendes#shawn mendes fluff#shawn mendes angst#shawn mendes masterlist#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes imagines#shawn mendes preferences#shawnmendes#shawnmendesmasterlist#shawnmendesfluff#shawnmendesblurbs#shawnmendesangst#shawnmendesimagines
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@shawnmendes @camila_cabello #señorita #shawnmendesimagines #shawnmendes #shawn #shawnmendesedits #shawnmendesedit #shawnyboy #shawmila #forever #infitito #camilacabello #camilamendes #camilacabelloedit #camilacabellofans #candygirl #swit #love #famous #star #incredible #awasome https://www.instagram.com/p/By_8k2MhQKx/?igshid=18x8kpugjgfxd
#señorita#shawnmendesimagines#shawnmendes#shawn#shawnmendesedits#shawnmendesedit#shawnyboy#shawmila#forever#infitito#camilacabello#camilamendes#camilacabelloedit#camilacabellofans#candygirl#swit#love#famous#star#incredible#awasome
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Can't help Falling in love*
A/N: pLEASE listen to Kina Grannis version of this song while reading PLEASE it is so beautiful and it gave me sooooooo much inspiration. Hope you all enjoy!!
Shawn’s P.O.V
Before I met you, I always thought falling in love happened all at once. I always imagined one particular moment of me looking at someone and just completely knowing they were meant for me. I was so wrong, I was beyond wrong... Falling in love doesn't happen all at once, it isn't one moment that determines everything, its a series of moments that build off each other that make it all worth it. Puzzle pieces that make a beautiful picture, a picture of us. When I first saw you I had no idea the impact you would have on my heart. My heart, my love, my trust and respect is yours. The moments that showed me we belong together are simple and true, messy and perfectly imperfect. But its us, its our story and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
The fist moment that tugged at my heart was the first time you came to one of my shows, it was in Amsterdam. I saw you in the crowd singing every word, dancing like no one was watching. You looked at me, and I looked at you and for a moment I forgot that there was anybody else in the room. Your smile infatuated me, you were so far away yet just looking into your eyes made me weak in the knees. After the show you told me you wanted to go for a walk, which was odd to me. I had told you about a party we could have gone too, I listed off names of celebrities that would be there, you kindly declined grabbing my hand and saying “Walk with me, lets go get lost in the lights.” I agreed and you and I roamed the streets of Amsterdam completely lost in each other. You told me about your childhood, why you love the color yellow, the ridiculous amount of records you have, and how afraid you were to fall in love. I was afraid too.
The second moment was when you met my family. You woke at up at 6:00Am to fix your hair and make sure your outfit was to your satisfaction. You looked absolutely beautiful. You were a nervous wreck when we reached my childhood home. You tugged at a strand of your hair, a habit of yours that you always do when you're nervous. I grabbed your hand and we made our way to the door. As soon as my mum looked at you I knew we were something special. Everything clicked so quickly, you were so kind to mum the conversation between you too was genuine and fun. You laughed at dads jokes, even the ones you knew weren't funny, and Aaliyah my god did Aaliyah love you. The bond you had with the most important people in my life completely blew me away. I know you love me by the way you love them. Thank you for that.
The third moment was the first fight we ever had. This may sound confusing but this argument was one that tested our strength and we made it. It seems like we are constantly being pulled in a million different directions when it comes to our careers. When you wake up, I'm going to sleep. It is just something we were not able to avoid. So much anger and frustration came along with the pain of missing you. I am so sorry for taking it out on you, just like I know you're sorry for taking it out on me. It took me some time but I realized we weren't yelling at each other, we weren't pushing each other or trying to take the other person down. Love, we were fighting for each other and in some cases we still are. I will never stop fighting for you, for us. Look at us baby, we made it! You are mine and I am yours. Thats the way it should aways be.
The fourth moment was the fist time we made love. I have never known the feeling of truly connecting with another person on such an intimate level. We took our time tangling ourselves in each other, chest to chest, the beat of your heart matching mine. I felt you, every part of you slowly until I couldn't remember how to breathe. We showed each other how much we love one another that night. The way you said my name, the way you kiss my neck, the way you look up at me with those eyes drives me completely insane. Our bodies fit perfectly together, longing for one another. That love isn't meant for anyone but you. I showed you my heart and that will remain for your eyes only. The feeling of you wrapped in my arms under the sheets is something I will never get tired of.
The fifth moment was the first time you called my apartment home. This was something we had talked about for awhile but you insisted that moving in together was a bad idea. I still don't understand why, most of your things were at my place anyway. I just think you were afraid of the label even though you will never admit it. We had just gotten back from our trip to New York, you unlocked the door and waltzed right in. I watched you as you unpacked your things being too tired to do it as neatly as you normally would. You washed your face, brushed your teeth, threw on one of my t-shirts and ran into bed. You were living with me and you refused to admit it. I got into bed and wrapped my arms around you. You cuddled into me, letting yourself fall into a deep sleep. Before you drifted you whispered into my ear. “Its good to be home.” You have no idea how much that meant to me. You are my home, it doesn't matter where we are in the world as long as I am with you I am home
The sixth moment was the first time I told you I wasn't going to use the blockers anymore. You understand anxiety better than anyone I know. There have been countless nights that you have stayed up with me, talking me through a panic attack. Your patience and kindness is something that never runs thin. I don't know how to thank you for walking with me through some of the darkest moments of my life. When I first told you I was going to perform without them you cried. You held me in your arms and kissed me harder than I have ever been kissed before. Your support means the world to me and you did everything you could to reassure me that getting off of them was the best decision I could have ever made. It was a battle and there was definitely moments that I wanted to quit. You were there every step of the way. I will never be able to repay you for that, I love you so much.
The finial moment was the first time you said I love you. It took you awhile to say it back to me but I wasn't afraid. I knew you would say it back when your heart told you, you were ready. We were at my cousins wedding, I was a groomsmen and I remember it was so hard to focus on anything but you. You wore a light blue dress that brought out your eyes perfectly. You sat with my family and as soon as the music began I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. I couldn't help but imagine what our wedding would be like, what you would look like walking down the isle to me. They chose can't help falling in love for the song my cousin walked down the isle too. You turned and our eyes met, the version of the song was beautiful, not as beautiful as you. It was our own secret moment no one else had a clue of what was going on between me and you. We stared into each others eyes for the entirety of the song. Your eyes began to water and suddenly everything slipped away. There was a moment the instruments went away and all I could hear were the lyrics, I know you felt that way too. You looked at me and mouthed the words ‘I love you’. I stood at the alter with the biggest smile on my face as I said it back as quickly as I could. I knew right then and there that my heart completely belonged to you. I want to hear you say those words over and over again. Please never stop saying those words to me my love. I love you, I love you I love you.
I could go on for years about how much you mean to me. I could add this very moment where you are curled up in my chest as I type this on my phone, Your mouth is wide open as you sleep peacefully. You have no idea that in a few short days I am going to ask you to marry me. I can't wait to start our journey together, its only the beginning for us my love. Heres to our future, heres to our happiness, and heres to you. There is no one in this world like you. I love you forever- Shawn
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