#shawnmendes fan fic
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sargebon · 2 months ago
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LOGAN SARGEANT X ALEX ALBON ♡ jpg.love
logan works as a videographer for shawn mendes,the falling in love part was just a bonus.
🫀 pairings ▪︎ alex albon x logan sargeant a.k.a sargebon and galex as teammates
🤍 face claims ▪︎ shawn mendes, logan sargeant, alex albon + george russell
this is my first tumblr smau fic, don't judge if it's bad 😭🙏
will do a part 2 / make this a series if people asked !!
logansargeant just posted
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liked by shawnmendes, oscarpiastri, daltonsargent and 1.5k others
coming soon... 💐🎸✨️
👥️ shawnmendes
shawnmendes one of my fave shoots we've done brother 🫶✨️
↳ logansargeant always magic with us broski ✨️
user1 NEW SHAWN MUSIC?!?! 🙏🙏
oscarpiastri lookin fire brother 🔥
↳ logansargeant thanks bro 😜
aaliyahmendes ooh this aesthetic 🤌✨️
user2 KING OF POP IS BACK BABY
shawnmendes just posted
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👥️ logansargeant
SUMMER OF LOVE OUT MIDNIGHT
user1 SHAWN IS BACKKKK
logansargeant magic as always ✨️👏
↳ shawnmendes only because of ur wizardry with a camera 🙄
user2 OH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS ERAS AESTHETIC
alexalbon can't wait to hear this tunneee 🙌
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alexalbon and georgerussell
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liked by georgerussell, lilymunihe, shawnmendes and 1.5m others
teammates for the 24 season 🔥
user1 GALEX ON TOP
georgerussell they ain't ready for our chaos
↳ lilymunihe if ur gonna make my job harder, i deserve a raise 😤
↳ alexalbon already in the works 💪
user2 since when was logan an f1 fan?!??!
shawnmendes @logansargeant meet alex
↳ alexalbon hello logan 🫡
↳ logansargeant um hi 👋
↳ user3 not shawn trying to set up videographer 😭😭
↳ shawnmendes drastic times called for drastic measures 😉
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logansargeant and alexalbon just posted
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aa23 earth tones collection NOW AVAILABLE 💚🤍
user1 OMG LOGAN AND ALEX MEET UP?!?
lilymunihe so this is why u veoted all of my photographer recommendations
↳ alexalbon well yeah u caught me
↳ georgerussell SIMP
logansargeant thank u for allowing me to take part in this 🤍💚
↳ alexalbon always but this does mean ur on speed dail for future projects tho
user2 WOW shawnmendes really did it 😭😭
shawnmendes everyone say thank u shawn !!
↳ logansargeant yeah no (thanks ig)
↳ alexalbon thanks bestieeeeee 💚🤍
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[INCOMING CALL FROM LOGAN SARGEANT 🦅]
AA: hey loges, wasn't expecting to hear back from this quick *alex chuckles*
LS: did u mean it when u said im gonna be on speed dial for future projects??
AA: um yeah I did, i can take it back if ur uncomfortable with the idea?? *alex inquired*
LS: no no im glad u like my work and everything, it's just ur the first to say that to me other then shawn so i just needed to clarify ig
AA: oh yeah yeah i meant it completely and once again thank you for everything
LS: ofc alex, it's helps when u got such a cute photogenic model too
AA: u think im cute??
LS: shit i-i sorry im gonna now bye
...
THE END !!
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1-800-sassy-mendes · 6 years ago
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Summary: Affectionate!Shawn
a/n: Hi. I just had an idea and random spur of wanting to write something so here I am after the long wait, and excuse me if this is not good at all. Its been awhile. I’m also trying to procastinate working on my scholarship lol. And I can’t believe that there is 1k notes on The Not Shawn Mendes Tour. That is so freaking insane for me. And it has come to my attention that the Goodbye link on my masterlist did not work, I have now fixed it and it should be good to go! But enjoy!!
masterlist / request / ask 
Your name: submit What is this?
“This forehead,” Shawn kissed your forehead and looked down at you since he was on top of you. “Have and will receive many kisses. In there is also that amazing brain of yours that never stops thinking.” 
“You love it.” You giggled while your hand was on his jawline. After dinner, Shawn was just in a very affectionate mood. He carried you from the kitchen and laid you on the bed, what you thought was going to be a night of having sex turned into him loving on you instead.
“I do,” He leaned down his face to kiss you somewhere on your face, closing your eyes, not knowing where he actually will. You felt him kiss your right eyelid and then your left. “And these gorgeous eyes have seen many beautiful things. They also have seen things I wish I could just erase from your memories. They’ve shed tears of joy and of sadness, some of which I’m the reason of.” 
You smiled at him, cheeks flushed red. You weren’t sure about what to say-speechless actually. He smiled back at you and kept going. “How can I forget that mouth of yours?” He leaned down and kissed you. You could never get tired of kissing him. You could probably kiss him forever if you could. He pulled away and you pouted slightly. “You look so cute when you pout. This mouth of yours can be real sassy, but it has told me numerous times how loved I am and encouraged me. It also have made me feel good,” Shawn winked and continued. “And feel special.” 
Shawn kept on kissing you from your cheek down to your neck. You tilted your head to give him more access to the skin, but instead of staying there and planting a hickey like always, he kept on going. You were confused but you just let him. He continued on to your shoulders, kissing every part of skin slowly-taking his time. 
He got up from being on top of you, you immediately missed his touch the moment he stopped. You watched him grab something from the night. You couldn’t tell what it exactly was, thinking it was just a condom, you ignored it. When he sat down, you crawled to him and straddled his lap. He placed one of his hands the small of your back. His other hand pushing the strand of hair that fell on your face. You snaked your hands around his neck and rested them behind his neck. 
You watched as Shawn take your left hand and smile when he saw the blue and black beaded bracelet that had his first name on it. He remembered that he made it for you years ago, with the help of Aaliyah. He kissed the back of your hand. “This hand. I’ve held it so much. It has held my heart and will hold my heart forever.” He continued on to kissing each finger. He stopped at the ring finger, and looked you in the eye. “This finger will hold the symbol of forever for us.” 
Shawn reached for the blue and black beaded bracelet and ran his finger on the white beads marked with faded letters that spelled out his name, anybody would definitely be able to that you’ve had it for awhile. He’s bought you all kinds of jewerly, but you always still wore the bracelet. It had a lot of sentimental value. 
“I gave you a bracelet with my name on it years ago and you’ve been wearing it ever since,” Shawn pulled a red velvet box from beside him, what you thought was him getting a condom was really him getting a ring. He opened the box and you couldn’t help but bring your hand to your mouth. ”I think its time that I give you a ring and my last name.” 
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softboywriting · 5 years ago
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Haven Port | Chapter Two | Shawn Mendes
Summary: Shawn and his pack have moved to your tiny town of Haven Port. You’ve never met werewolves other than your dad before and you’re infinitely curious. You may be only half werewolf but you and Shawn have a connection that will send you on a wild romantic journey in this small town you call home. [hybrid reader] [werewolf shawn]
Word count: 3.5k
|Masterlist In Bio|
Shawn walks into the shop no more than ten minutes after you open the next day. It's a thrill to see him, your stomach flip flops and your heart soars. It's been a long time since you've felt like this. He's in just a sweater and jeans and for a moment you feel bad, knowing his coat is at your house behind the front door. If you'd known he was coming by you would have brought it to work with you.
“Morning,” He smiles warmly and you lean against the counter, grinning ear to ear. Something about him makes you so excited that you can't control your face when you see him. You feel like you must look like a doofus.
“Good morning. What can I get started for you?” You giggle, yes, actually giggle. Good grief he has you giggling like a teenager with a crush.
Shawn crosses his arms and saunters along the length of the counter. “I want something warm," he looks at your sweater clad chest. "Something sweet," he looks at your lips and you can feel your hands sweat. "And I think maybe something with a toasty brown color,” his eyes go to your brown fuzzy ears. “Oh and I'd like it for here, not to go.”
“Hmm, I dunno...I could suggest maybe a chai tea with honey?” You say playfully, grabbing a small glass mug off the rack by the counter for dine in guests. You know he's teasing you, describing you as his drink. "Maybe a-"
Shawn leans over the counter and grins, stopping you mid sentence. He motions for you to lean forward, to come closer and you do. He hooks his finger over the front of your apron and plays with the fabric between his thumb and forefinger. “Is there anything sweeter?” he whispers, eyes on your lips.
“I-I don't know,” You mutter, suddenly aware of how suggestive this was getting.
Shawn chuckles and releases your apron, eyes soft as he leans away, understanding you've gotten nervous from his attention. “Chai with extra honey will be fine.” He purrs softly, voice low and still in flirt mode.
You turn around quickly, cheeks flushed hot as you begin to prepare his tea.
It takes a few minutes to steep his drink and you peek over at him while he browses your gift selection. He picks up gift baskets and looks them over before setting them down again. Occasionally he will smile to himself and steal a glance back at you.
“What do you do?” You ask, and he looks up from a breakfast basket you made just a few days ago.
“I used to work with my dad. He owns a couple garages.”
“You're a mechanic?”
Shawn approaches the counter and you slide his cup toward him. “I was, yes. I've also been a carpenter and a landscaper.” He hangs his head and chuckles inwardly. “I guess I've done a lot.”
“What kind of work are you doing here? Or have you found a job yet?”
“I'm still looking. I'd like to get a job in town here but I'm not too keen on working on a fishing boat. I can't leave my pack for weeks at a time.”
You turn to the back counter and grab your phone. “I know someone who could use help. He's a friend of my Dad's. He works on the boats at the docks.”
“Repair work?”
You nod. “Repair and maintenance. I used to run the parts room and answer his calls for him when I was eighteen, it was my first job. You'd be perfect, you're young, strong, and I think with your experience you would be a good fit.” You slide a piece of paper with a phone number on it next to Shawn's mug.
“You don't have to do this,” Shawn mutters, looking the number over before pocketing it. "Thank you though."
“I know I don't have to, but I want you to stick around.”
“You do? Why's that?”
“I like you." You smirk, wiping down the counter as another customer walks in. “You're interesting, I've never gotten to know a wolf before.”
Shawn smiles and takes a seat while you help the customer that came in. The order is big, it's for a boat crew that has just docked. By the time you finish, Shawn is gone. You sigh, hoping you'd have gotten more time to talk. Maybe tomorrow or something, maybe you could get his number. Yeah. You'd ask for his number.  
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“So you're the girl the alpha is gaga for?” A voice says behind you at the market the next day and you turn around. A tall curvy girl in a bright pink coat beams at you. Beside her is a guy about your age who is taller and built like Shawn.
“Um...you mean Shawn right?”
“Uh huh,” she giggles and thrusts her hand out excitedly. “I'm Ava and this is David.”
You take her hand and shake, her skin is incredibly warm compared to your partially frozen hand. Unfortunately high body temperature was not a trait you inherited from your dad. “Are you from Shawn's pack?”
“We are! We just got in two nights ago. David and I decided to come get some real food since Shawn has been surviving on snacks and coffee since he got here.” She rolls her eyes and you stifle a little laugh. Shawn didn't seem the type. “Anyway, I knew who you were because Shawn came home smelling like you the last two nights. I hope that doesn't sound weird, because I don't mean you smell or-”
David taps Ava's arm. He signs something with his hands and Ava shakes her head. David seems to insist. Ava makes a motion with her fist and scowls at him. This silent argument goes on for a good thirty seconds before Ava realizes you're staring, lost to the silent conversation.
“Shit, sorry. David is deaf. I get a little caught up when he is being so annoying.”
“What did he say?” You ask. “I mean it's okay, I'm not going to be offended if it's about me.”
Ava sighs and signs to David. He repeats his question. “He wants to know if your ears are able to be hidden, like can you shift?”
“Ohh, no. I can't shift. I'm stuck like this.” You reach up and scratch your ear a bit. “I'd actually never met a wolf other than my dad before I met Shawn. Can wolves partially shift?”
“Nope. It's human or wolf, no in between.” She signs to David and he nods. “Would you wanna come over for dinner? You could meet the rest of the pack, and I'm sure Shawn would absolutely love to see you.”
You look down at your basket of vegetables and snacks. “Well, I was going to make a chop salad for dinner, but I can make it later.”
“Make it and bring it over!”
“Oh, okay, sure. Where do you live? Shawn said it was outside of town and I don't have a car so...”
“We'll pick you up, is 5:30 okay?”
“Sure, I think I should have enough time to make a salad and shower.”
Ava claps her hands and signs the plans to David. He smiles and nods to you. You say goodbye and finish your shopping, suddenly nervous about the dinner plans. What if the other wolves didn't like you? What if Shawn wasn't happy with you coming to his place? Shit.
_____________________
It’s ten after five when you hear a car pull into your driveway. You look out and see it's Shawn's Jeep. You grab a coat and check Parker's water and food dish in the front entryway. He's set for the evening. You grab your bowl of salad and head out into the crisp evening air.  
Shawn rolls down the passenger window and leans over to see you as you approach the Jeep. “How did Ava convince you to come to dinner?” He laughs and you pass him the salad through the window.
“Well I knew you would be there, and I want to meet more wolves. It was really a no brainer.” You crawl up into the Jeep and Shawn rolls up the window. "I hope it's alright."
“Yes, it's fine. Ava told me you were coming over tonight and I nearly flipped because of the short notice but it's okay. The house is in no shape for visitors yet, well, it wasn't.” Shawn backs out and heads for the county road that leads in and out of town. “I'm going to have to ask you to understand that wolves are...well we're animals. Things happen.”
“What are you talking about? What things?”
Shawn turns down a dirt road and heads into a patch of woods. “We get a little rough with each other.”
“Alright? You giggle, eyebrows raised. “I'm sure you couldn't have wrecked the house already.”
“Wolves don't like change. They get a little rambunctious, and my pack just moved in. There were some fights for bedrooms and what not.”
"Ah, like siblings then?"
"Yes. Like siblings." He says oftly, chuckling a bit. "That's a very good comparison."
A few more minutes of winding through the woods and the trees open up to a big flat area. The home you're approaching is a large cabin like structure. It's got several rooms by the look of it. Its nice though, well kept outside and no signs of damage. There are two other cars in the driveway and suddenly you realize you don't know how big Shawn's pack is. You have no idea how many wolves you're going to meet.
“We're here.” Shawn announces, parking the Jeep and sighing. “I should warn you, some of my wolves are very excited to meet you.”
“Why? I'm just some girl from town?”
“You're some girl I like a lot and they know it.”
You raise your eyebrows and he raises his back. “Not much of a dater are you?”
Shawn shakes his head and chuckles. “Not really. Come on, I'll keep you from getting mauled.”
As soon as you walk in with Shawn you're met with three wolves you hadn't met yet. Two girls and a guy, all similar in age to you and Shawn. They don't look particularly excited like Shawn said and you feel anxious.
“Hi,” you smile nervously, giving your name and offering the salad bowl out in front of you. “I made salad.”
“Is that supposed to feed all of us?” The guy asks, eyeing the bowl skeptically.
You look back to Shawn and swallow hard. “Um...yes?"
Shawn growls softly. The three wolves look down, seemingly reprimanded.
“I'm Jo, this is Lindsay and Ryan,” the shortest girl says, stepping forward and extending her hand. “Shawn has told us about you.”
“Good things I hope,” you laugh nervously. You swallow harshly and Shawn puts his hand on your back.
“Familiar much?” Lindsay says, eyes on Shawn's gesture.
“Be nice Lindsay. Why don't you three take the salad into the kitchen and start setting up dinner?” Shawn says firmly.
Ryan takes the salad bowl from you and follows the two girls out of the entryway. You look up at Shawn as his hand falls from your back. “I thought they were excited to meet me?”
“They were. I don't know what the problem is. I'm not really happy with them.”
“Oh. Well Ava and David were very excited when we met in the market. Did I do something wrong?”
Shawn shakes his head. He tucks your hair behind your ear and strokes it before you can pull away. The gesture sends a wave of warmth through your body. “Ava is always excited about everything. She's the most lovely person I've ever met. David is her mate and the poor guy gets dragged everywhere. But, no I don't think you've done anything wrong. I just need to talk with my wolves.”
You nod and allow Shawn to lead you into the dining room. The table is lined with spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, sauteed vegetables and your little bowl of salad. It looks like enough food to feed a small army.
“Come! Sit!” Ava cheers, patting the seat beside her.
“You heard the lady,” Shawn smiles and you take a seat, Shawn sitting on your other side.
Clanking of dishes and banter over the food and daily activities fill the room for the entirety of dinner. You remain quiet, eating slowly as you listen to the wolves around you. They are your people but you couldn't feel any more out of place. Only Ava and Shawn attempt conversation but even then you are reserved, answers short and sweet. A few of the wolves stare at you from time to time. You know it's your ears they see. Not you.
Dinner ends after what feels like forever and everyone helps clean up while you sit awkwardly in the living room all alone. Of course you offered to help but Ava said you were a guest and guests don't clean up.
You try to lessen your awkward silence of sitting alone in the living room by going to the bathroom. On your way back you stop in the hall when you hear harsh whispering.
“Did you see her ears?” What sounds like Jo, giggles. “They kept moving anytime someone on the other side of the table would speak up, I was purposely asking Ryan questions because it looked ping pong with her ears.” You peer around the corner to see Jo and Lindsay snickering.
“Ping, ping, ping.” Linday says, motioning her right hand, and then her left up by her head to mimic your ears.
The wall is cold when you lean back against it, heartbroken. You hadn’t heard someone say something like that since you were in school. Numbly you make your way back to the living, deciding to go back to the safe zone where no one could hide in the corner and make fun of you.
You chew on your thumb nail, peeling it off nervously when Shawn and Ryan walk into the room. Shawn sits down and puts his arm over the back of the couch behind you. “You're stressed, what's wrong?” He asks in a low whisper.
“It's nothing. I'm just not used to being around so many people.”
“Would you like to go somewhere quieter?”
You nod and Shawn stands up with you. The other wolves start to walk in the living room and you step closer to Shawn. He puts his arm around your back and walks you toward the stairs. You know every wolf in the house is watching you as Shawn leads you up to the second floor. It makes you sweat.
Shawn leads you into what is clearly his bedroom. It's the master bedroom if you were to guess by the size. There's a large unmade bed in the center of the room with dark sheets and a dark bedspread. The room is very cozy, lush and inviting. The window to your right rattles loudly and makes you jump. The wind must be picking up and you realize you hadn't checked what the weather was supposed to be like for the evening.
You pull out your phone as Shawn apologizes for his mess and makes the bed for you to sit on. You pull up the weather and sure enough, a storm was coming in. A snow storm and you're at least fifteen minutes from home in the middle of the woods. Great. Even if you left now, there is a slim chance of getting home without getting stuck.
“What's wrong?” Shawn asks, looking up from where he's tucking the top sheet under the mattress. “Your ears are down like you're upset.”
“It's snowing,” you mutter, going to the window and looking out at the soft flakes floating to the already covered ground below. “A storm is coming in and I can't go home can I?”
“Of course you can go home. Why would the snow stop you?”
You look over at him and raise your eyebrows. “Snow storm means very little visibility, slick roads, you name it. I can't have you try and drive in that.”
Shawn shrugs and shakes out his comforter. “I'd find a way, but you are welcome to stay the night.”
You cross the room and sit on the edge of the bed. For a moment you think staying would be the best idea ever. For just a split second you forget that it's not just you and Shawn in the house, and then reality comes tumbling back. The conversation in the hall between Jo and Lindsay. The looks at dinner, the greeting when you arrived. It's weighs on you.
“I don't think your pack likes me,” you sigh softly, lip trembling a bit. You're not sure why but it's getting to you, it shouldn't, you've dealt with it your whole life. Maybe it's because you had high hopes of being accepted for once with these people being wolves and all.
Shawn sinks down on the bed beside you and takes your hand. “I think they're nervous,” he squeezes gently, fingers lacing between yours naturally. “I think maybe they don't know what to do wit h you because they don't know how I'll react.”
“So it's you? Not me?”
Shawn nods.
"But..." You're about to say something about Jo and Lindsay but you stop yourself. Starting drama wouldn't solve anything. "I guess. I think I'll stay the night, if it's really okay. I don't want to try and drive home in this weather. I think...I think I'm comfortable enough with you to stay.”
“Good, because I really didn't want to have to drive in this storm,” he chuckles softly. “Let me find you some clothes to sleep in.” He gets up and goes to his dresser, sifting through until he finds a tee and some pants that are not your size but you accept anyways. You change, back to him as you carefully fold your clothes on top of his dresser.
“Why am I so comfortable with you?” You ask, looking back at him. “We barely know each other but I feel almost like we're connected, like I've known you forever.”
Shawn looks over with a smile as he pulls a clean tee on over his head. “It's the wolves in us. They instinctively crave each other.”
“I'm just half wolf though.”
“Mmm it's strong enough, I can feel it, you can too if you let yourself.” Shawn walks over to you by the dresser. “Have you ever trusted your instincts?” He moves behind you, placing his hands on the dresser on either side, caging you in from behind.
“Shawn... what are you doing?” You ask, heart racing. He's so warm, his heat radiating onto your back. His closeness makes your breath hitch.
“Close your eyes,” Shawn purrs close to your ear. Your eyes fall closed and you bite your lip. “Relax, focus on what you feel.”
“Nervous. Anxious.”
“Push past that. Try not to overthink, let the instinct do the talking.”
You let out a long breath and try to push aside the nerves Shawn is giving you. Focus, relax. Warmth spreads over you, starting at your cheeks and flooding down to your stomach.
“Yes, good,” Shawn purrs and bumps his nose against you ear. “What does your instincts want, what do you want?”
“I don't know,” you mutter. Your heart races and it's not the nerves from the closeness anymore. “I can't tell.”
“You can. Focus.”
You shift your weight, bumping Shawn before pressing yourself against the dresser and shaking your head. You tilt your head back, ears pressed against Shawn's chest. “My instincts want...no, I want a companion.”
“A companion?”
You nod. “I want you, my instincts want you.”
Shawn wraps his arms around your stomach and you melt into his hold “I know they do. You do to. See what I mean? That wolves crave each other?”
You rub your head back against his chest, enjoying the feeling of his warm shirt against your ears. “Do all wolves have a connection like this?”
“No,” Shawn says, nosing your hair and walking you toward the bed. “You're special.”
“Psh, liar.”
“Alright, I lied. But most wolves don't find a mate in this day and age. We're so scattered around that usually wolves find a human mate and settle down.”
“Mates huh?” You laugh, pulling away from him and flopping on the bed. “That sounds cheesy.”
Shawn shrugs. He grabs an extra blanket from the end of the bed and shakes it out beside you. “I like to believe that mates exist.”
“Maybe it is something that exists, I dunno if I believe it though. I do like you a lot, I know that for sure.”
Shawn sits next to you and puts his arm around your back. “Can I ask why you don't like your ears touched?”
“I was teased a lot in school. Sometimes kids would pull on them and I'd cry because they're really sensitive.” You flatten them back against your head. “I just don't trust people not to hurt them.”
“Not even an alpha?” Shawn hums, running his fingers through your hair. “An alpha with a gentle touch, who knows how a wolf likes to be petted.”
“Shawn...” You mutter, leaning back in to his hand. His fingers brush the tip of your left ear and you press into the feeling. “Please be careful.”
“Of course pup,” he promises and you let him fully run his palm over your ear.
You lean into him, eager to get closer as he rubs your ear between his fingers. You fall onto his lap and he chuckles, keeping his hand in your hair and scratching behind your ear.
Shawn's chest starts to rumble. A low growl vibrating through his body into yours. “Your hair is very soft,” Shawn purrs, fingers rubbing your ear in big circular strokes with his thumb.
“Thank you,” you mutter, eyes closed as you rub your face into his leg.
Shawn scoots back and you follow him up onto the bed, positioning yourself so he is spooning you. He keeps stroking your hair and ears slowly as you give in to sleep. He feels so right. You feel safe and relaxed under his touch, something you haven't felt in a very long time, if ever.
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Please send feedback in asks, replies or reblogs. Let me know if you’d like to read more of this story. Thank you so much -A
*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****
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bubbashawn · 5 years ago
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Before You Go
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author: This one is angsty but when does my writing not have the exact same arc of emotions lol. Hope you love it like I enjoyed writing it. 💙🌸
synopsis: You just wanted him to fight for you, not against you. It’s not until you stop fighting for him does he realize how much he should have shown you he did truly care.
warnings: Forgive me, I swore. But can you really have a passionate break up without the f-bomb? I didn’t think so. There’s a mention of fighting in “y/n’s” childhood, but like only for a second. It’s 1.9k of these two cuties being blind af. Shocker I know.
Shawn was happy. You could see that much, it didn’t matter that he tried to call you every night or that Cez was constantly telling you that he, your ex-boyfriend, was in fact not happy. But if he was really unhappy then why did he look happier than you had ever seen him? Why did he leave if he was going to be unhappy? Why not fight for you like you had tried for him? It didn’t make sense that he just would tear you down until you couldn’t do it anymore if he was just going to be as heartbroken as you.
Shawn was your everything. Anyone with eyes could see that and they could tell that you were broken. They could see you withering away as each new picture of Shawn’s smile was released. And they knew that you were pretending that everything was how it was supposed to be even as tears streamed down your cheeks, again. You still remembered when Shawn was your everything, he still was, but that didn’t mean you were his everything.
“Why can’t you just leave me be? Huh? I’ve told you that I don’t want to see you right now, why can’t you hear me?”
Shawn had been off that day, you could tell when you called that morning and the way his jaw was clenched in the pap pictures. You half expected him to just go straight to his condo, though you two had planned for an evening together, but he barged into your small apartment and collapsed on your couch.
“Bub?” He barely glanced at you, “bubba what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, everything is fine. Everything is just fine”
You had shuffled towards him, placing yourself softly on the couch beside him. He just moved his hands to his curls and pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes. You knew Shawn and he was giving off waves of annoyance. He was acting so off, so completely different than the boy you loved. He’d never been this way especially not with you.
“Hey,” your hand found his shoulder, “tell me what you need. What can I do?”
“Ever think I don’t want anything from you? That I don’t need you?” He practically was yelling now, rising to his feet. You let your hand drop to your lap.
Shawn never raised his voice at you because you never raised your voice, period. Growing up in a house of yelling and fighting, much different than the Mendes household, had taught you to not yell. You hated fighting and the best mechanism to control any situation was to keep your voice soft and calm. Shawn had raised his voice only once and the way you spoke softly as he screamed made him instantly regret his actions. But not this night. No, this night as your peaceful tone broke through the silence it only angered him. He felt like you weren’t even fighting him. And you weren’t because you’d only fight for him as he fought you.
“Shawn, I jus-” he cut you off.
“You what? You want to help me? Than fuck off for once, Y/N! Just get away from me.”
You were so lost. Did Shawn come to your apartment so he could yell at you? So he could fight you because you wouldn’t fight back? You hated that he was using you to get his anger out but you knew that he didn’t mean anything he was saying. He loved you and you loved him. He was your everything and you were his.
“No,” you followed him as he stormed towards your door, “no, I won’t let you just come in here to take your anger out on me. I want to be here so I won’t let you leave until I know that you’re okay. That we’re okay.”
“Yeah? Well what if we’re not? Huh? Then what?”
“You don’t mean that,” you hated that you stuttered, “I love you, Shawn. I’m in love with you.”
“Yeah well maybe I’m not.” Shawn knew he fucked up but he didn’t take it back, he just watched you for your next move.
Everything was different in a matter of seconds. You weren’t so sure about what you were saying. You loved him but did he love you? Maybe you weren’t his everything. Maybe you weren’t his anything. You were done and it didn’t matter what he said anymore, because you were done. He couldn’t do anything before he left that would take back what he said.
“Y-you need to leave,” you brushed his shoulder when you walked down the hallway towards your front door, “please. Just leave.”
You had never asked him to leave. You had kicked him out to the couch and ignored his pleas but never had you pushed him out. But that didn’t matter, not to you, not when the one person who would never hurt you, hurt you. Your eyes strayed up towards the crack in your ceiling, willing your tears away. You heard his movement before you dropped your gaze to the wood floor. To his stupid pointed Chelsea boots.
“Baby, you know I wasn’t thinking,” Shawn hated that he knew you were crying because of him, “I’d never hurt you, not like this.”
“Well you did.”
“Bab-”
“Please leave. I’d like to be alone now.”
Funny how things could change so fast. Mere moments Shawn wanted nothing more than to be alone but now you were shoving him out the door. You couldn’t be alone fast enough.
“Y/N, I want you to know,” he held your cheek even when you tried to push him away, “you need to know you’re my everything. Nothing is more important than you. Not work, not this stupid fight and I might be an asshole but I love you. You’re my everything, baby.”
“Maybe I’m not.”
“You are!”
“Maybe I’m not! Okay? Maybe I’m just that girl that brings you that much closer to a girl who's your everything.”
“You’re my everything!”
“I’m done. Shawn, just leave. If you care about me then you’ll just go. And you’ll find that girl. But she won’t be me.”
“I want her to be.”
“Please…”
He did leave. He ran his hand along your jaw like he always had and dropped his fingers to yours so his feather ring bumped against the gold promise band adorning your ring finger. And then he was gone. Those 6 years of fights and tears and laughs and surprises. Gone with him.
Shawn hated himself. He hated that he had yelled, he hated that he hurt you, he hated that you, for a moment, thought you weren’t everything to him. He wanted to see you but feared he’d be pushed away like he had been 14 days ago. It had been in those 2 weeks he realized he didn’t know what to do without you, so he just tried to live as normal as possible. Smile and laugh with his fans, eat dinner with his team, and enjoy the sunset from his balcony picturing you in your favorite spot on the railing.
“She’s not coming, mate,” Niall looked at him, “just because I’m her friend doesn’t mean she’ll show up to my party. Especially knowing that she’ll see you.”
“I just - I don’t know how to fix anything. It’s like she was holding my life together and now that she’s gone everything is disappearing right after her.”
“You broke her heart.”
“Yeah well she broke mine.”
It was a shitty comeback, he knew that he sounded like a little middle schooler who was butt hurt because his crush didn’t like him back. But he was heartbroken so he gave himself a pass.
“M’sorry man,” Shawn offered Niall a smile, “I just don’t make the best decisions without her.”
You felt bad. Listening in on a conversation that you shouldn’t be hearing. But you heard Shawn’s voice and common sense flew out the window. He sounded sad and you realized he really wasn’t as happy as you forced yourself to believe. He was heartbroken and hurt, just like you.
“Shawn?”
Your voice was a whisper, Shawn probably wouldn’t even hear you over the music. You opened your mouth to repeat yourself but he cut you off.
“Y/N?”
“Hi.”
He stumbled to his feet, his mind flying miles ahead of his clumsy body.
“Hey,” he was staring, “hey. Do you… do you want to go talk somewhere? Or maybe I’ll just leave and see you later?”
“No!”
“No? As in stay or I don’t want to talk?”
“Please stay. Let’s talk,” you grabbed his forearm over the guitar tattoo you’d traced a million times, “outside work for you?”
“Outside sounds great, yeah.”
The two pushed their way through the thrall of partygoers. Offering smiles to friendly faces who only returned shocked gazes seeing the couple together. Their eyes searching for answers for unasked questions. You disappeared with Shawn out the side door.
“So.”
You just stared at the boy watching his nervous quirks you hadn’t seen since your first date. You were an unknown factor in Shawn’s life for the first time in 6 years. He hated not knowing how you’d react to him, he always took pride in knowing every nook and cranny of your body and it’s responses to his touch.
“H-how have you been?”
“Fine, and you?”
“M-me? Oh, um I’ve been okay too.”
“That’s, um that’s good to hear.”
Shawn was glad to know you were doing okay. But he also knew that you weren’t being totally truthful. You didn’t make eye contact when you lied and he hadn’t seen you look at him throughout the short talk.
“I lied,” Shawn suddenly cut off your anxious rambling, “I’m not fine, I haven’t been fine since I left that night. The thought of you being alone, thinking I didn’t love you? Fuck, I couldn’t live with myself.”
Your hand raises subconsciously to stroke the scar on his cheek. It had been a comfort mechanism when you two were together. Just tracing his scars and his tattoos, marks that were distinguished as Shawn’s. Your hand was now frozen in the air, stopped just before reaching out to him. And the two of you stared at your left hand, more specifically at the promise ring still snug around your finger. Until finally Shawn pressed his cheek into your palm yearning your touch. He didn’t know when he’d feel it again.
“Baby,” he pressed his lips to your hand that still held his face, “you’re my everything. You’ve always been my girl, my everything. Don’t think for a second you’re not.”
“Shaw-”
“No,” he interrupted you, not finished, “I love you. Fuck, I love you so much.”
“Shawn, I-I love you too.”
His head was buried into your neck before you finished speaking. Lips pressed to your collarbone and nose breathing you in. His hands were held together around the small of your back pulling you closer.
“Baby, I know we aren’t perfect and I know we can’t go back to the way we were. But I am going to love you everyday and remind you whenever you forget. And I’m going to fight for you because you’ve always done the same and it’s about time I showed you how much I adore you. I’m so sorry for how I hurt you and I know you won’t admit it but I’ve been hurting you for far too long. I shouldn’t have yelled, not ever. It’s me and you from now on, okay? No more me against you because I’m not letting you fight alone. If you let me I’ll make sure you always know you’re my everything, always have and always will be. I can’t imagine my world without you, for fuck’s sake I didn’t last 2 hours before I started calling.”
“Bubba, I love you.”
“I love you more, honey, I love you so much.”
permanent tag list: @wholesomemendes @fallinallincurls @ashwarren32 @mendesficsxbombay @haute-shawn @turtoix @prncsnee @http-isabela
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harryandmolly · 5 years ago
Text
Change of Pace - 22 (Summer 2019)
Tumblr media
cowritten by @achinglyshawn
summary: Shawn and Maya meet again 10 years after life got in the way of love
warnings: language
wc: 4.5k
------------
Shawn and Maya text. Shawn and Maya flirt. Shawn and Maya get ice cream. Shawn watches Maya surf. Shawn and Maya kiss.
The weeks pass quickly. They don’t spend every waking moment together, and it’s nice. Maya has so much time on her hands that it feels like a burden at first. She doesn’t know what to do for a while. There are entirely too many hours in the day. She starts gardening. She surfs more. She does yoga. She paints. She cooks. She talks on the phone with her parents and friends back in Toronto. She sees Shawn a few times a week.
Slow is… kinda nice.
What Shawn and Maya haven’t done is go out publicly with people they know. They’ve spent most of their time in whatever activity they take part in talking, getting to know each other again. Bringing in other people felt unnecessary in some ways.
Maya totally forgot about the bridal shower. Her cousin Margaret is getting married this fall. She’s hosting a shower in wine country, but not with the traditional approach of inviting bridesmaids and other female friends and family of the bride. No, Margaret wanted it to be couple-friendly.
So for the first time, Maya is faced with the reality of deciding whether or not they’re ready to go away somewhere together instead of just enjoying their bubble back in Avila. When she lets herself stop and think about it, she finds that she maybe, sorta, kinda wants him there with her. With her family, with their friends. She’d really like having him at her side.
Standing barefoot in her kitchen with a cup of coffee, she chews on her lip and slides her phone out of her pocket.
Maya: Are you at the shop? Can I come see you?
Shawn: Yep
Shawn: You can always come see me, Lu.
Maya: :)
She feels a spark of excitement in her abdomen and hunts down her flip flops and car keys. On the way to the shop, with the hood down and the wind in her hair, she does something stupid. She lets herself start to picture a weekend with Shawn in Sonoma -- cool breeze in his curls as he lifts a glass of white to his lips, smiling at her with his other hand on her knee, in a nice seersucker suit surrounded by her family.
Stupid.
She shakes it off when she parks outside and heads in, hearing the little bell over the door ding when she walks in. She doesn’t see him right away and doesn’t want to startle him if he’s doing intricate work, so she makes more noise than necessary with her flip flops and clears her throat.
“Baby?”
Shawn flicks his fingers across the newly tightened strings of the Gibson standard bass he’s working on. Taut enough, but not tuned quite right. He teases the smooth pearl tuning pegs until he finds the right sound: not too sharp, not too flat. 
He almost drops the bass when Maya calls out for him. He knew she was coming, but she still manages to make his heart race when she appears. 
He carries the bass into the storefront, plucking the strings delicately in a smooth, indie jazz rhythm that matches his mellow smile. 
“Hey, Lu. How did I get lucky enough for a midday visit?” 
Maya tilts her head and smiles, shuffling toward him past a wall of gorgeous instruments. She plants a hand against his shoulder and pops up on her toes to kiss him softly.
She finds her heart is pulsing a little harder than it usually is when she drops by. She tries to ignore it. She’s being silly. It’s probably not even a good idea, given where they are.
She drops back and stuffs her hands in the pockets of her snug joggers. She nibbles on her lower lip and shrugs.
“I wanted to see you. And… well I just remembered I have to RSVP to this thing. My cousin Margaret, the really rich one that’s marrying the hedge fund manager in San Francisco, she’s having this bridal shower in Sonoma. And it’s supposed to be kind of a couples thing. I mean, not everyone there will be a couple. But, y’know… anyway, I was given a plus one so I thought I should…”
She trails off weakly and offers him a little shrug and a smile.
Shawn’s stomach twists as he sets down the bass. He wants to go. He wants to be with her in Sonoma, and he wants her to show him off to all of her friends. He wants her to introduce him as her boyfriend, because he’s pretty sure that’s what he is. For real, now.
But he had therapy this morning, and he can hear his therapist’s voice in the back of his head saying too soon, too soon, too soon. Don’t backslide now! 
Shawn clears his throat, pressing one hand to the counter as he pushes away from it. He takes a breath, then says something he really fucking hates. 
“You should probably go alone. Right?” 
Maya’s overactive heart quiets down. She sniffs and nods at her feet, flicking her head back up with a tired smile. Her unwashed hair falls limp around her cheeks. She sweeps it up behind her ears and finds the courage to speak, hoping her voice doesn’t shake.
“Yes. You’re right. Yeah, I… I should. It’s hard to explain, this thing. I mean, especially with my family there. I just wanted to run it past you, y’know, in case.”
In case what? Her mind mutters at her, In case he wanted to do something stupid and irresponsible with you?
She feels a little guilty for even asking because she made him have to say no to her. She knows how much he hates to do that. 
She lifts her eyes back to his. “Anyway, it’s next week. So… I’ll be gone for a couple days. Maybe we can spend some time together before I go?”
Shawn feels his heart break, just a little. Maya looks like a sad, rejected puppy, even though he can tell she’s trying not to.  The gentle smile she gives him is tepid, at best. He shakes his head, stepping forward so he can take her hands in his. 
His thumbs brush across the backs of her hands. He smiles. “We can spend as much time together as you want. And--” he cuts himself off to clear his throat, reaching one hand up to cup her jaw. He tilts her head back. 
“You know I want to go, right? I really-- Shit, Lu. I want to go so fucking bad. I want to spend every minute with you. But we-- I mean-- it’s better if not, right? We’ve made so much progress.” 
Maya listens to him with her teeth sunk into her bottom lip and a blush in her cheeks. She places her free hand against his waist and turns her lips into his thumb. She plants a little kiss there.
“Yeah. You’re right. I mean, I know you’re right. I think for a minute I let myself believe it would be fine if we just did it. But you’re right.”
She sighs and hopes it doesn’t come off too spoiled and dramatic. She slides closer to him, taking her hand from his and shrugging her arms around his waist.
“This is all for a good cause, right?” she murmurs, turning her cheek to rest on his chest. Sometimes she needs him to remind her.
Shawn hugs her close. He hates he made her sad, even if they both know, rationally, he was never going to that shower. 
He kisses the top of her head and laughs softly, nodding so his nose brushes her hair. 
“Yeah, sugar, duh,” he kisses her head again, “The cause is you and me. In an honest, mature adult relationship. I think that’s a really good cause.” 
He hums, pulls back from her hair. “Don’t you?” 
He reassures her in a way only he can, because she knows he’s the only one that totally gets what they’re trying to do. No one else ever could. Because they’re not Shawn and Maya.
Maya strokes her fingertips up and down his back and noses against his chest. “I do. It’s the best cause.”
She just loses track of it sometimes when she misses him a little extra. The busier she’s made herself lately, the better off she’s been -- she really sees that. Her dependence from this summer is a memory now. But being close with him like this, even just this little moment, surprising him at the shop just to hold him for a while, it’s so good. She wants it more and more every day.
He’s crazily in love with her. He doesn’t know how he had the willpower to say no to her request, save perhaps for his bi-weekly therapy sessions he picked up after their summer relationship went to shit. 
He’s gotten courage, he thinks, from both Maya and therapy. And the anxiety meds he started taking after pretending he didn’t need them for so long. He gets less work done at the shop, but he gets more sleep and does better quality work than he ever has before. 
She pulls her face up to look at him with a soft smile. She pulls up onto her toes and presses loud raspberry kisses up the side of his neck to make him laugh. She leans up to his ear and whispers.
“Can I stay with you while you work a while? I brought a sketchpad to keep me busy.”
Shawn’s throaty laugh echoes through the store front. He loves her raspberries. Maybe a little too much. He turns his head and presses his lips to Maya’s cheek. 
“Pull my leg, why don’t you?” he murmurs, pushing his hands into the pockets of her joggers, curling his fingers in the fabric. He walks backwards around the counter toward his workshop, bringing her with him as he goes.
Maya and Shawn are mostly quiet that afternoon, focused and separate, but together. Maya’s snuggled up on the couch sketching, his trusty blanket resting over her legs while he sands and tunes and lacquers and hums under his breath.
That night they leave together, Shawn struggling to lock the doors one handed because she’s holding the other comfortably hostage in hers. He walks her to her car, they make out against the door until there’s nowhere left to go but under each other’s clothes. So instead they separate, pink-cheeked and satisfied.
+
Shawn misses Maya the minute she gets out of his Jeep at the airport. They text during her flight, because she’s got the money to pay for inflight WiFi, but he still misses her. 
Her absence from Avila is palpable. Even though they hadn’t been spending every second together, he can feel the heavy distance between them and almost wishes he hadn’t said no to her offer. 
He calls his therapist, just for the reassurance that they’ve made the right choice. 
Later, Shawn decides to surf. He waxes his neglected board the way Maya showed him, then spends the morning paddling through waves but never attempts to actually catch one. It’s refreshing, nonetheless, and he understands why Maya is so drawn to the water. 
He doesn’t have any texts from her when he emerges from the ocean. He ignores the disappointed drop of his stomach and trudges through the sand with his bag and his board dragging behind him. 
He gets over himself, over the brick sitting heavy in his gut, and goes to his shop to do a few orders he abandoned in favor of driving Maya to airport. A little less lovesick, he falls into the easy rhythm of work and finds the patience he needs to forget his phone exists. 
Maya stands just inside the door to the terrace, hidden from view. She chews on the inside of her lips and rolls her ankles carefully in her strappy sandals. She fidgets openly, flinching as cater waiters pass her with trays of expensive hors d'oeuvres meant for her family. 
Maya hasn’t seen her parents, aunts, uncles or cousins since last Christmas when she took two days off by company mandate and flew to Toronto to see her family. Her parents carefully and quietly spread the word about her change of coastline and the circumstances around it, which means her whole family will be walking on eggshells around her like she’s mid-breakdown.
There will be questions. Why Avila? Why not go home to Toronto? Why leave Manhattan at all, didn’t you have friends, a whole life? Are you seeing anyone?
That one’s the hardest to answer in some ways.
Maya lifts a hand to her hair, a half up, half down braided situation that she saw on Pinterest. Her floral dress flutters around her legs. She wishes he were here to hold her hand and remind her what’s important.
She closes her eyes and imagines what he might be doing now at home without her.
She opens them and steps out onto the terrace to face the music. 
+
“... and they’re spending the summers in Southampton now, did you hear?”
Maya nods and smiles weakly. All the Manhattan finance shop talk is draining. Everyone around her talks about it like she’s still interested, like she’s been sitting around her cottage wishing she knew what her old coworkers were up to. 
She hasn’t.
But Margaret’s fiance Peter is also a finance guy so she’s entrenched in the world once again. She listens politely and offers quiet commentary. Her half-hearted attention doesn’t go unnoticed. Her cousin’s friends look on at her sadly, like she’s acting this way out of regret. She’d love to tell them to go fuck themselves, that her life in Avila is more satisfying than they can even imagine.
And it is. This is the most people Maya’s been around at once this summer. She’s spent a lot of time alone relearning herself. Through surfing and art primarily, she’s not a stranger to herself anymore. 
And then there’s Shawn.
By the time Shawn finishes at the shop, the sun has set and he’s itching to see Maya. He can’t, so he texts her as he’s locking up the shop, instead. 
Shawn: Hey sugar, how’s SF?
She slides her phone out of her clutch and steps back out of the circle abruptly to look through it. She ignores the sidelong glances at her rude gesture. She smiles at Shawn’s text.
Maya: pretty. Not as pretty as Avila. Missing you.
It’s an understatement.
Shawn doesn’t expect a reply. His phone buzzes in his back pocket while he walks home, and he nearly jumps out of his skin to get it. 
His heart lurches in his throat. She misses him. He figured maybe she did, but he tries not to assume. He’s also thinks she doesn’t miss him quite as much as he misses her— but again, he doesn’t want to assume. 
Shawn: Already?
Shawn: I think I started missing u even before you left 
Shawn: shit that was pretty cheesy wasn’t it?
Shawn rolls his eyes at himself, shoves his phone back in his pocket and fishes out the key to his front door. He likes to pretend he’s not still an idiot around her, but then he types something like that and sends it without thinking. 
She probably sees through him easily.
Her mom appears at her elbow with a quirked eyebrow. “Who are you texting?”
Her phone buzzes three times in quick succession in her hand. She blinks, looking down at her phone but not focusing on the messages.
“Shawn,” she murmurs. She lifts her eyes to her mother carefully. After a beat of mental searching, her mom’s eyes widen a bit.
“Shawn? Like, the one that got away Shawn?” Margaret nearly yelps. When Maya looks over, the circle of privileged thirty-somethings are all staring at her curiously.
She quirks a smile. “Yeah. Turns out… I guess he moved to Avila after he left LA. I ran into him earlier this summer.”
“Are you seeing each other?” her mother probes cautiously.
Maya wets her lips, hesitates, and nods. Margaret titters excitedly from the side, filling in some of her friends who aren’t caught up.
Her mother looks oddly pleased. Maya knew she always liked Shawn but assumed she’d have some hesitation about them now given how long it’s been and all that’s happened.
Maya’s mother hums and lifts her glass of champagne to her lips. “Well I’ll be damned. I guess love really does conquer all.”
She wanders away. Margaret and her group have lost interest. Maya is left with the weight of what her mother said. After a few seconds, she swipes open her phone.
Maya: yes. But I like your cheese. It’s… well aged.
She knows he loves when she plays along with his cheesiness via dumb jokes.
Maya: my mom says hi
He doesn’t have to wait long for the next reply from Maya. He stands in the middle of his lonely bedroom and decides to shed his gloss-covered work clothes before letting himself look.
The seconds go by and Shawn counts each one, each second he wastes so it doesn’t seem like he’s clinging to his phone, waiting for her.
He’s trying to teach himself how to be okay without her. He knew how to do it, once before. Things are different now though. 
He takes a breath, naked save for the black briefs that cling to his hips and stretch across his aching thighs. He squats too much at work. He should invest in a shorter work stool. 
He decides his needs to lie down.
Draped comfortably across his bed, Shawn finally allows himself to fetch his phone from the bedside table. 
Shawn: hey! you’re cheesy too 
Shawn: and she does? 
Shawn: are u sure she remembers me? 
Maya snags a petit four off a passing waiter’s plate. She gives it a squeeze and soft raspberry jam starts spilling out the side. She pops it in her mouth and sucks on her fingertips, smiling as she stares at her phone like a teenager. She doesn’t notice her parents whispering and chuckling to themselves in the corner, watching her.
Maya: she definitely does
Maya: Margaret just referred to you openly as “the one that got away”
Maya: not anymore I guess. I reeled you back in
She gathers when called. The bride and groom are starting to open gifts. With Shawn’s help, she chose a gorgeous set of steak knives off their registry. 
Shawn blushes like a teen girl as he reads Maya’s texts. He’d always thought her mum liked him. The years haven’t lessened that, it seems. He feels lucky, so fucking lucky that he didn’t romanticize everything good about their old relationship. 
Shifting on the bed, he settles deeper into his pillows. His fingers click away on his phone. 
Shawn: shit
Shawn: you did you sneak
Shawn: also I think ur officially way cheesier than I am 
A thought occurs to him. He frowns.
Shawn: is she pissed I didn’t come? was that rude? 
Maya watches curiously as Margaret and Peter collect thousands and thousands of dollars of gifts. They look happy. Not just getting presents happy, but really happy. They look content, like as long as one is close to the other, they’re ok.
She swallows and thinks of Shawn again.
She tunes back into her family and tries to focus on them. The truth is, she really has missed them, even the crazy ones. When she was in Manhattan, she hardly ever saw her parents. And Margaret and Peter, who live in Manhattan, were a three-times-per-year event. They never gave her shit for it, no one ever told her she was being selfish. They accepted her and her drive and her goals.
It’s all different now.
She looks back down at her phone.
Maya: Not at all. She didn’t know I was seeing you again until I just told her. And I told her we’re taking it… slow.
Slow. How do you know when slow is supposed to kick up speed a little? How is that measured? Is there a time frame? Stats? A chart of some kind?
All she knows is she misses him. It’s not a desperate feeling, she’s not aching or on the verge of tears, she just feels far from him. A little cold, a little distant, a little quiet.
She misses him.
Shawn sits up. They are taking it slow. They’re taking it slow and he’s sitting home alone, waiting around for texts from her like a lovesick puppy. He’s pretty sure this isn’t how his therapist would want him to cope. 
He decides to go to dinner, maybe have some drinks and play a set at The Sand Trap. Not that he doesn’t want to be texting Maya, but he doesn’t want to continue being his own person in her absence. 
That’s what grown ups do.
He texts her before he heads out. 
Shawn: okay. as long as your friends and family don’t think I’m a total dick
He sits at the wheel of his Jeep. Texts her again. 
Shawn: i think I’m gonna premiere a new song tonight
He wasn’t planning on it, but he thinks he will. She’s heard bits and pieces of his new song, but he hasn’t felt comfortable enough with it to play the whole thing for her. Shawn thinks, perhaps, a dry run in front of a room full of strangers who don’t mean the works to him might help. 
Maya’s eyes bug. The dinner has started but she took a moment to glance at her phone before the salads arrive. She thumbs through Shawn’s text, sure she read it wrong.
Maya: seriously?? Can’t believe i’m missing that. 
She wonders which song it is. Is it the one she’s heard part of? She doesn’t know what it’s about, but it sounds good. She sighs.
Maya: I’m super proud of you. You’re gonna be wonderful
Shawn feels only a little bad. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it, should’ve tested it out in secret so she wouldn’t know she’s missing anything. Guilt lingers in his stomach, but he knows doing this is good for his independence. 
Which, ultimately, is good for them. 
Shawn: it’s only for practice
Shawn: so I can get used to it, relax before I play it for you
He wants it to be perfect for her, but perfect is a lofty, unnecessary goal. He knows she’ll love it either way. 
But still, he texts her again. 
Shawn: just want it to be the best it can be before you hear it 
Dessert comes before Maya checks her phone again. She’s a few glasses of wine in and blushing over the idea that Shawn wants to practice a new song in front of a crowd of strangers before the main event, singing it for her. She knows that’s backwards. She loves it.
Maya: I love--
Maya stops. Her thumbs drop heavy onto her phone. Her heart rate rises.
She started to type “I love you for that.”
She didn’t stop because it’s not true. She stopped because that’s not how she wants to say it again after all this time. She wants to say it for real, unequivocally, to his face.
Because she does love him.
Maya: I love that. Have fun tonight <3 see you soon
Shawn’s settling into a burger when his phone buzzes again. Despite the urge, he doesn’t drop his burger in favor of checking it. He takes a hearty bite, let’s himself enjoy it before wiping grease from his fingers and carefully lifting his phone. 
It’s seems like a sign off text from her. He only lets himself be a little disappointed. The stage is his at 9:30, so he’s got a schedule to stick to. It’s probably best he not be distracted by flirting with Maya all night. 
He sends her one last text anyway, though. Just because he can. Because she sent him a little heart emoji and she knows he’s a sucker for that. 
Shawn: same to you, sugar
Shawn: text me when you get to your hotel room 
Shawn: just so i know you’re safe and all 
He tucks his phone into his pocket, then tucks back into his burger.
+
Maya’s night ends after the dinner. She crawls into bed with a smile and watches “The Other Woman,” not because she can’t fall asleep without it, but because she misses it.
+
Brunch is a parade of wide-brimmed hats and expensive sundresses. Maya is seated next to her mother Wendy beside a column of wisteria, sipping mimosas.
Wendy takes Maya’s hand and holds it in her lap. “Missed you, little girl.”
Maya smiles a little wistfully. “I missed you too, mama. But I’ll be coming back to Toronto more often now that I’m not working.”
Wendy’s smile is wise and comforting. “I’ll be very happy about that, but that’s not what I meant. I meant… I missed you. You, my Maya. I missed the stories you tell when you’re not living out 80 hour weeks in an office just to survive. I missed the way you always have paint under your fingernails. I missed the way you correct my posture and tell me to do more yoga.”
Maya chews the inside of her lip. Her eyes well a little. She nods carefully.
“I was gone for awhile. I think… I think I’m back now.”
Wendy bobs her head. “You know, it was always ok with me, whoever and whatever you wanted to be. I never complained about your job. I thought for awhile it was what you really wanted. You threw yourself into it with such passion and drive. But it burned you out so fast.”
“I was so scared to try to be the thing I always was. To be the best version. It seemed so much easier to be something I knew I could be good at just because I’m smart and I’m tough. I think I really did like it for a time. But it’s not who I am,” Maya says quietly.
Wendy smiles and cups her daughter’s cheek. “Who you are is everything to me.”
Maya closes her eyes. She leans into her mother’s hand.
“Are you going to let him take care of you?” Wendy whispers.
Maya’s eyes flutter open. Her mother’s smile has turned a little mischievous.
“Shawn?”
Wendy nods. “I think that’s all he’s ever really wanted to do. You always took such good care of him. You weren’t as good at letting him care for you. I think you should work on that.”
Maya’s throat clenches. Moms know everything. She sighs from deep in her chest.
“I’m gonna do my best.”
“That’s all you’ve ever needed to do, baby.”
--------
Taglist: @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn @mendesoft @singanddreamanyway @alone-in-madness @abigfatmess @shawnitsmutual @awkwardfangirl2014 @september-lace @sinplisticshawn @rollingxstone  @randi-eve​ @fallmoreinlove @heyits-claire​ @itrocksmysocks​ @parkerspicedlatte​ @simpledomain​ @abeautiful-and-cloudy-day​ @thecurlsofgod @magcon7280​ @bensbuttercup​ @shawnsmusical​ @paigeasourous​ @tell-me-when-ur-ready​ @softmendesss​ @searchingunderthestars​ @buggy-blogs​ @mendesficsxbombay​ @siennarossi​ @lostinshawnsmemory​ @umbreakablesoul​ @sleepybesson​ @shawnsheaven @desire-to-live​ @jillian-nd​ @shawnwyr​ @curlsofshawn​ @graysonmendes​ @tnhmblive​ @meltingicequeen
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under-a-canyon-moon · 6 years ago
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Shawn
I’m currently watching Shawn’s Verizon performance and he’s singing In My Blood. I have actively been avoiding watching any tour videos as I want to be able to experience everything for the first time but I gave in and this has really strengthened my admiration for him. Nobody actually knows the story of why I love him so much and why he holds a special place in my heart but I figured I’d write this and share with anyone who actually takes the time to read (which I almost doubt anyone will).
I went to Taylor Swift’s 1989 World Tour 2016 in Detroit, I was 16 and that’s where I first saw Shawn perform. I’ll admit, I wasn’t a fan. It really wasn’t until I heard Stitches so many times on the radio that I became a fan. It was probably later that year and I think it was that New Years that he performed on New Years Rockin Eve (might’ve been the year after I can’t remember). My mom came into the house after partying with my dad and she said, “Nick Jonas was really good on New Years Rockin Eve!” She thought Shawn was Nick Jonas and I didn’t fail to tease her about it. From then on, she’d come home from the grocery store, from anywhere, singing Mercy and she was in love. I came home late one time and I had to text her to unlock the door for me and she ran to open it and ran back yelling, “our boy is on Jimmy Fallon hurry.” For two years we bonded over him, she loved him probably more than I did. Last year, March 2018, my mom passed away from cancer. That was probably the worst time of my life, I have never felt so lost and depressed. The week of her funeral, I was in a musical for my high school. It was my last musical as a senior and as hard as that week was for me, it brought me some sort of relief from the misery I was in. The night of our first show, the day after my mom’s funeral, is when In My Blood was released. I remember sitting in the passenger seat of my best friend’s car and her and I crying the whole time. I almost felt like it was a sign from my mom telling me to not give up, that I was going to get through this, that letting it consume me wasn’t in my blood. She was a fighter and she didn’t raise me to give up on anything, no matter the circumstances. That song means more to me than I thought possible for a song and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. My friend and I listen to the song when we feel helpless or we feel lost and it still brings me that same relief as it did when it first came out. 
The last sign related to Shawn was when he announced tour dates. I’m from Detroit and his concert in my city is August 5th, 2019; my mom’s birthday. The tickets came out last summer, I think, and I remember texting my friends abut whether or not I was going to buy them. Finally I just said fuck it, she would want me to go. It’s the perfect way to celebrate her birthday, she wouldn’t hesitate to go to that concert so I’m not either. I hope one day I can tell Shawn that story because honestly, those signs are no coincidence. I feel her with me when I listen to his songs, I feel her dancing around with me in the car or in my bedroom while listening to those songs. I feel like he is somehow a piece of my mom and because of that, he will always hold a special place in my heart. 
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shawnyboymendesxox-blog · 6 years ago
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WARNING; MATURE CONTENT
Just want to clarify that dick is my favorite word for penis, so that’s the word I chose. Also safety first ALWAYS!! Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it. 
@shawmednes shoutout to this beauty too. For being so sweet and kind. xx
SHAWN
My body was against her. I could feel my pulse all over my body. She looked up at me. Fuck she was so beautiful.
The whole day was great. She didn't run away this time, although she almost did. From Times Square to lunch. It was honestly an amazing day. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone. I just needed to have her.
I started to lean in. She didn't move. I watched her as she closed her eyes. The subway came to a stop and I lost my balance. Just my luck. I didn't notice I was holding my breath. She turned away from me and never looked at me for the rest of the way home.
She ran off the train when we pulled up to our stop. I almost lost her in the crowd.
'Bevin, please wait.' I shouted after her.
I ran up the stairs, she was waiting there with her back to me. I placed my hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off and turned around. People were walking around us as we stood looking at each other on top of the stairs.
'I can't do this, I'm in a relationship Shawn.'
I put my hands on either side of her arms. She shook them away.
'You should have more respect for a girl who is in a relationship. You can't just go around kissing other people's girlfriends. Is that what this was today, this photo shoot, to try and kiss me?'
I smiled at her, as she walked back and forth waiting for me to answer.
'Please stop smiling, ALL the time, at everything.' She was almost talking to herself.
'I know you wanted to do it too.' I said following her as she slowly walked away.
'I did not.' She snapped as she shook her head.
But I knew. I knew it wasn't just me that felt something. We were so close to kissing. I wanted to take her face and kiss her.
'This isn't right.' She said.
I stopped in front of her, she was a lot smaller then me. She had to put her head nearly all the way back to look up at me.
'Let me take you home.' I said.
'Okay.'
BEVIN
We were outside my flat now. That walk home wasn't as comfortable then earlier that day. There was a tension between us. I didn't know whether it was awkwardness or a sexual tension. I also felt so guilty that I couldn't stop thinking about kissing him.
'This is me.' I said turning to him.
He looked up. I followed his gaze. No lights on, Maddie must be out partying. We were standing there for too long.
'Okay. Well thank you for today.' I put my hand out. He stared down at it.
'Strictly professional.' I looked at him with no feeling.
'Fuck professional.' He grabbed my hand and pulled me into him. I lost my breathe as he placed one hand on my lower back pulling my body into his. He brought his other hand to my chin and placed his thumb and index finger between it. He lifted my head. My breathing was so heavy now as we stared into each others eyes. He leaned forward and kissed me lightly. His lips were so soft. He pulled away, as if asking my permission to continue. He leaned in again and slid his tongue into my mouth, always finishing with a soft peck. My heart was racing, his arms wrapped around my body. I pulled away.
'Shit.' I shouted. I ran up the steps into my flat. I slid down the back of the door feeling my lips with my fingers and smiling.  I've never felt anything like that before. Excitement. There was a knock at the door. My smile beamed from cheek to cheek. I jumped up and looked through the spy hole. It was Shawn.
I slowly opened the door.
'I need all of you right now.' He said pushing me against the wall. He grabbed my arms and put them over my head. I knew this was so wrong but it was so good.
He took my legs, lifting me against the wall, continuing to kiss me. I slid my fingers through his hair and held onto him.
'Bed... room.' He said through kisses.
He let me down and I took his hand. I brought him to my room and before I could think about what I was doing we started kissing again. His hands ran down my hips and lifted my top over my head. He pushed me onto the bed and started kissing from my neck down to my stomach. So many thoughts were going through my head.
I sat up and lifted his t-shirt off him. His arms were exactly how I pictured them earlier that day. I kissed his shoulder as I ran my hands down his arms while he kissed my neck. He pushed me back taking off  my trousers and underwear.  He kissed in between my thighs closer and closer.
I jumped at the feel of his tongue between my legs. My back arched in pleasure. I didn't want this to end. I grabbed the bed sheets.
He looked up and smiled.
'Come here.' I said taking his face in my hands and kissing him. I took his belt in my hands. Taking off his trousers I could see how hard he was.  I pulled the band of his underwear down and took his dick in my hand. His head fell back as he groaned loudly.
'Have you got a condom?' I asked.
He grabbed his wallet and pulled one out. He put it on and leaned down kissing me. He slowly inserted his dick inside me, thrusting back and forth softly. He continued to kiss me running his hands down my body. He felt so good. I ran my hands down his back pulling him closer to me. He continued, faster and deeper until we were both lost in each other. We finished.
He got up and lay beside me. We lay there is silence, catching our breaths. He turned his head and looked at me.
'Fuck.' He said through heavy breathing.
I turned around facing him, placing my arm across his chest. I could feel myself falling asleep. I felt a kiss on my forehead and then went into a deep sleep.
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maloleysweekender22 · 6 years ago
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Priorities V
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Lauren was released from the hospital a week ago. Every time one of her friend comes to visit her she brightens up. It breaks my heart every time they leave she becomes isolated towards me and every other family member. Aaliyah came over to keep Lauren company while I ran to the grocery store to stock up the fridge again. Shawn hasn’t come back after he left the hospital. Isn’t sad that we already got used to his constant disappointment and absence.
As I enter the grocery I head towards the fruit section to get Lauren her favorite. The fresh strawberries the stocker just put on display make my stomach grumble. I grab a few packs and move along to get a pineapple. As my hands grab a pineapple I hear giggles from a women. It brings a smile to my face as I watch her fall back into a fit of laughter. Young love. Then I see the familiar face that makes me drop the pineapple into the floor. Shawn grabs her by the waist and kisses her forehead.
“Are you okay, Miss?” A guys says as he helps me pick the pineapple pieces.
“I’m so sorry” I apologize repeatedly without my knowledge Shawn’s attention turns to me. His face pales at the sight of me and the guy who is helping me clean up. When I stand up Shawn’s right behind me. I turn around to grab a clear bag when I bump into his chest. I’m quick to step away and end up bumping into the guy who was helping me. His arms wrap around me to steady me.
“Let go of my wife” the guy let’s go and apologizes. I scoff and apologize to guy for Shawn’s mistake in claiming I’m his wife.
“You’re my wife” Shawn says glaring the guy down.
“Now you remember after spending your time with another women. While your daughter is home after being in the hospital.” I leave quickly as I watch people gather around with their cellphones. As soon as I’m outside of the store I break out into a run to reach my car. Footsteps behind me are heard and it makes me fasten my pace. As I’m about to reach the handle of the door I trip as I land on the floor I breakdown. Someone squares I front of me.
“Just let it all out.” The voice says and and I cry harder. After a while I stop and only sniffles are let out.
“I’m so sorry, um...”
“Oh I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Eric. Eric Johnson. You must be Y/N Mendes” he extends his hand out and helps me get up.
“Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you.” I see a bag by his side and he grabs it.
“I-I bought this for y-you” he stammers out handing me the bag “before everything happened I saw you placing it in your cart. Something about it being delicious and your daughter liking the taste of fresh strawberries” I look at him in shock.
“I wasn’t stalking you or anything if that’s what you were thinking. You were talking out loud while holding the packs of strawberries” Eric says.
“Oh thank you, but I can’t except this. Let me pay you in return” I tell him taking out my purse.
“No, how about we exchange numbers and get coffee. As friends” he says taking out his phone.
“I could really use one. Someone who isn’t close to him” I think and don’t notice I said it out loud. I look and see him looking at me already.
“I spoke out loud again didn’t I” he only nods before I hand him my phone number. “Thank you for the fruit and what ha-“
“You don’t have to explain, just be careful driving back home” he leaves and I stand their watching him get into his car.
As I drive home I think of all the memories Shawn and I shared. In an instant they disappear from my mind. I shed another tear as I see my phone light up with his name and our family picture. It’s starts to rain and it comes down hard. Park the car on the side of the ride and turn it off while releasing myself from the seat belt. As the continues to come down harder so do my tears. Something told me it was really over. My heart and mind told me to cry out all my frustrations. And I let all out.
“What have you down to me!” I shout slamming my hands onto the wheel. I keep slamming the wheel as my tears continue to fall. “What have you done to Lauren! To us!” I cry harder then I’ve ever cried before. I feel the mascara running down my face. The headlight of another car shine against the side view mirror. The door opens up and I’m pulled out of the car. I look up and see Shawn crying while trying to hug me tightly.
“Don’t touch me!” I tell as I get out of his hold. He still reaches for me and drags me back into his embrace. His hold feels so unfamiliar and it shouldn’t feel this way.
“Y/N please” Shawn says as he cry’s out choking on a sob. My hands slam against his chest pushing him away from me.
“No, Shawn. I’m trying to walk away from you can’t you see. I’d wish I could go blind and erase the memories of all disappointment I’ve seen on Lauren’s face. I wish I could go blind to forget about you and her. I can’t Shawn! What have you down to us to our little girl! I hate you and yet I continue loving you.”
“I love you Y/N” Shawn says pulling me into a kiss. As soon as his lips touch mine their gone. I move away quickly before he has the chance to kiss me again.
“You don’t love me Shawn...” I whisper out as I get back in the car. I drive away as the rain starts to clear up a bit. I can still see Shawn standing at the side of the road looking my way. The rain washes over him not fazing him one bit. As I drive further away his figure starts looking smaller and smaller. Just like I wish my love for him could be.
Tag List:
@ashwarren32 @soniajk
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shawns-okay-i-guess · 7 years ago
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you’re the best part - part 1
Preface: Sofia is a 19 year old superstar who has been selling out arenas since she was 15. She has taken a step away from music for a bit to focus on college and be able to have a break from all of the fame. This first part is from an interview on the Ellen Degenres show.
“Okay so I have to ask Sofia, are you dating anyone at the moment?” asks Ellen. I knew this question was coming.. they always have to ask at every single interview I do. I don’t understand why a bunch of strangers are so intrigued by my love life but they are. 
I let out a chuckle at the question and answer “Nope, I’ve got nothing going on at the moment. The only relationship I’ve got right now is with Grey’s Anatomy and funfetti cupcakes!” The audience and Ellen begin to laugh at my confession and I begin to relax hoping that will be the end of the whole relationship conversation. “What.. come on.. how can a girl like you not have a boyfriend right now? You’re super successful, incredibly sweet, and you’re beautiful. I’m sure you’ve got hundreds of guys wanting a chance to take you out on a date.” says Ellen. “No I’ve really got nothing!” I say.
“Is there any guy in the industry that you’d like to meet?” asks Ellen, watching me very carefully waiting for my response. What an easy question,my mind instantly goes to the one person I’d been dying to meet but hadn’t gotten the chance to yet. My heart speeds up and without even hesitating I answer, “Oh,Shawn Mendes for sure!” The crowd begins to scream and Ellen’s eyes widen.
“Really? You didn’t even hesitate there.. Shawn’s awesome. He’s been on the show a couple of times and is always so sweet and humble. I can set you up guys up.” says Ellen with a really big smile on her face. I’m hoping everyone can’t catch on to how red my cheeks are turning. I nervously begin to fumble with my dress and let out a nervous laugh.” Yeah. he’s awesome. I love his music and he seems so real and genuine, I really like that about him. It’s very hard to find people in this industry who are truly passionate about what they do but you can just tell that Shawn loves what he does and I really respect that about him. I’ve seen him at award shows but have never gotten the chance to actually go up and introduce myself. Maybe one day though!” I say.
“Oh I’m sure after this, you two will meet very soon. I’m just gonna put this out there now, if you two end up getting married I expect to be invited to the wedding because this was where it all began.” says Ellen. The crowd begins to laugh and I begin to blush even more. I’m sure as soon as this airs there will be headlines saying Shawn and I are getting married or that we are dating but it’s too late to take back what I said. The interview ends, the cameras cut to commercial, and I thank Ellen for inviting me to come on the show. “Remember, you have to invite me to the wedding if it ever ends up working out with you two!” says Ellen as she gives me a bug hug before I leave. “Will do!” I say and head back to my dressing room.
Later that night
I’m just about to go to bed when I hear my phone start to go off. I walk over to my desk and see that I’m getting thousands and thousands of twitter notifications.  Tweets saying “Shawn and Sofia need to date asap that would be the cutest thing ever” “Can Sofia and Shawn please collab?!?” and countless others stating that Shawn and I need to date asap. If all these people are already tweeting about this, there is no way that Shawn hasn’t seen the interview. My heart immediately starts to race at the thought of Shawn seeing me confess that I have a crush on him on national television. What did he think? Does he want to meet me too? My mind begins to go wild. That’s when my phone goes off again, this time with the tone I had set for DM’s. I grab my phone and see that it says “Shawn Mendes has sent you a DM”. “Holy shit.. what did I do” I say. My heart sinks to the floor and I begin to get very anxious. Should I open the message or should I not and pretend that none of this ever happened?? I begin to pace around my room trying to think of the countless things Shawn could have said in his message to me. After 5 minutes of pacing around my room I gather up the courage to open the message. “Hey! I saw your interview with Ellen and it’s truly the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about me. I’m such a big fan of yours, you’re amazing and I would love to meet you as well. I’ll be out in LA next week, I’d really like to set something up with you. - Shawn xx”
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takeiteasyonmyheart · 8 years ago
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Jawline = cut through my heart
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1-800-sassy-mendes · 7 years ago
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Haunted by Your Ghost
Summary: You left and Shawn is broken in pieces. It’s in Shawn’s POV
a/n: Okay so this will be a 3 part story!! :) Thanks to @firsttimeihadsomethingtolose​ aka my loves for giving me so much inspiration to write this and always encourages my love for Shawn. ilysm jasmine <3 my requests are open. And the italics in there means it’s his flashback.
masterlist | part 2 | part 3
Your name: submit What is this?
For hours, I was just tossing and turning in our bed. The bed that was where I’ve seen all of her, felt her be the closest we’ve ever been. I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to get up to get a drink of vodka to help me fall asleep. I opened the highest cupboard to get a glass, my eyes didn’t catch her favorite tea mug. I always put it up there so that she won’t be able to reach it, and she’d have to ask me to reach it. After a couple days, that’s when it finally hit me. She’s not coming back. 
The couch did catch my eyes. The couch she sat on when she decided to leave. On that couch, I held her body close to me so many times. My chest was aching. I put my hand on my chest, is this what a heartbreak feels like?
I remember walking in the apartment after that night, I was drinking with my friends. I was hoping that she’d be in there, waiting for me so that she could take me back and that all she said earlier was stupid and we’d make up like what happened with all of our breakups before. All I was welcomed to was a dark and empty house. Her coats and jackets are not in the closet anymore, I just thought that she’d be back soon. Never thought much of it till now. 
“Want to come?” I smiled at her from the kitchen. I had an interview that morning, and I didn’t want to just leave her by herself in the apartment.
“So that I could sit in the back and get hurt while you deny questions about being in a relationship?” She snapped. I felt my stomach drop. 
I knew that whenever I said I was single, it hurt her. But it was also to protect her. Her privacy and her life. She has never said anything like this before. “Is there something wrong babe? You loved sitting in on my interviews.”
“Loved. Past tense. Shawn, I’m tired.” She looked down at the ground. With hearing those words, it felt like they didn’t mean that she was tired being a secret kept from the world. It meant something else. 
“I feel like that has a different meaning.” I felt my eyes getting watery and I couldn’t help but let the tears stream down my face. “Y/n, please don’t do this.”
“This is for the both of us. Shawn, I love you, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired of always hiding in public, I want to go out on dates with you and act like a real couple. It hurts hearing you saying that you’re single when you’re not.” She looked up from the ground, I tried to look for any type of hurt or hint that she didn’t mean this, but her eyes didn’t give in to it. “I also don’t want you to not give your one hundred percent when you perform just because we had a fight. Or worry about me or giving me your time when you’re halfway across the world.”
After what seemed like my fifth bottle of vodka, the last thing I remember was thinking about her. Even when I’m drunk, I couldn’t take her out of my mind. 
“Call me soon.” The random girl, that I just spent the night with, slipped her tight dress on. I winked at her and buried my face in my pillow. 
“What the hell?” Ian walked in my room after I heard the front door shut. “Shawn, who was that? Wasn’t she like the fifth one this week?”
“I forgot her name and I lost count.” I groaned, it’s way too early and his voice is making my head pound even more. 
“This isn’t how you should spend your time off.” Ian shook his head at you, disappointment laced in his tune. It’s been a few months into taking a break since my management realized I needed it.
“All of you wanted me to get out of my bed and stopped staring at the ring.” You snapped at Ian. With mentioning it, you had another flashback. 
“Shawn!” I heard someone yell. “Wake up!” I slowly opened my eyes to see Andrew, Matt, and Ian all around me. 
“Dude, go get in the shower. You stink.” Matt joked. After giving them a glance, I looked back at the ring I had in my hand. The ring I was gonna propose to her with. 
“What’s that?” Andrew asked. Then he realized what it was shortly after asking. “Where did you find that? I thought you couldn’t find it, that’s why you didn’t propose to her.” 
“It was in the bottom of my sock drawer, wrapped inside a sock.” I replied, my voice very raspy after not using it for probably a day. The three of them looked at each other and was quiet for a couple minutes. 
“That’s it, Shawn.” Ian announced, Andrew and Matt couldn’t do anything but just look at him. “This has to end. You need to get in that damn shower and at least get up. Your family, Manny, Karen, and Aaliyah, remember them? They’re worrying about you. We are worried about you.” I broke my glance off the ring to look at him. He said a lot more but I was thinking about nothing else but my family.
“At least give me the ring and take a shower.” Andrew said after Ian’s monologue. 
“Yeah, Shawn. We’re not asking for a lot. But at least do something, yeah?” Matt smiled. 
“Trying to fill that empty void by sleeping around with different women, since y/n left is not how you should have spent it.” I flinched when Ian mentioned y/n’s name. They’ve all been walking on eggshells around me, scared that if anything reminded me of her, I would go back to where I was before. I guess Ian has had enough too. “You know what y/n is doing, Shawn? Traveling. She’s making the most of her life. While you’re in here, letting your talent go to waste by taking this fucking break and sleeping around. I’m sorry, Shawn, but somebody had to say it.” 
He turned around and made a beeline for the front door, he slammed the front door shut. What he said got me thinking, I am wasting my talent. I don’t have to start releasing new stuff right? I just need to start writing at least.
I sighed in frustration, I have been trying to write music for the past couple months and nothing has happened. They have all been shitty. I just want to pull my hair out from the stress, frustration, and anger. I needed to release a new song and make a living. I still had enough money to live perfectly, but if I kept on doing it, I wouldn’t be able to keep the perfect lifestyle my family has right now. 
“Here’s a piece of advice, write what you felt, I mean feel.” Zubin pointed to me and took a sip of his beer. Everybody else in the studio laughed.
I just looked at him and continued drinking my beer. I sat in my executive chair in the studio, strumming a few chords on the guitar while everyone else was drinking and listening to music that was blasting from the speakers. We had called it a day, decided to drink a little bit.
Playing around, I got a few notes that sounded good to me. I thought of y/n, she always loved hearing little snippets of the random chords I play on the guitar. I smiled to myself as something reminded me of her again, I miss her a lot.
“He’s haunted by her ghost again.” Dave whispered to Mike, and they both laughed. 
A light bulb just went off in my mind, and I reached for a pencil and paper. The band noticed what I was doing and watched me closely. 
We revised the lyrics over and over. It took a while, but we got it. We played it for Andrew and I think he almost cried. 
“Finally.” I read Andrew’s mouth move from behind the glass window in the recording booth. 
“That was perfect, proud of you, Shawn.” Andrew patted me on the back when I got out of the booth. I knew he didn’t only mean about the song.
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bubbashawn · 5 years ago
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Y’all be ready because I have a fluff to the extreme piece in editing right now. I’m really happy with how it turned out and I hope you’re excited for some happiness especially after my angsty ass exposed herself lol.
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Love you all and it’ll be up in the next couple hours I hope 💕
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t-lostinworlds · 6 years ago
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Found You (Shawn Mendes)
A/N: So since this amazing person known as @fourtristattoos is having this amazing festival, I thought I’d support and have a little participation too. Also wanted to try and write some dad!shawn sooo yeah, this is my first ever dad!shawn fic. And this ended up longer than expected lol. I hope you guys like it! <3
Summary: Shawn thinks it’s just a coincidence, but when his son seems to bump into you ever so often, he starts to think otherwise.
Prompts: 
"Look at you, so big and tall, bet you're real proud of yourself, huh?"
"Pick that up and put it in the cart, please." 
"I finally found you"
Warnings: Fluff and Typos
Word Count: 6.2k
Masterlist in Bio
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"Buddy be careful!" Shawn exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed in worry as he watched his 4 year old son sprint towards the little playground his grandparents had in their backyard.
It was built just a couple of months ago, a gift for their first grandchild as Karen and Manny had said, their grandchild who was so spoiled to bits by his grandpa and grandma.
"He's fine Shawn. Don't be such a dad." Aaliyah teased as she ran towards her nephew, a big smile on her face once she reached the little guy, him erupting in giggles, excited to see his favorite aunt play all day with him.
"Well I am dad so I will worry all I want." Shawn huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched two of his favorite people in the world, laughing and enjoying as they ran up and down the slide, a smile breaking into his own lips, feeling so giddy and happy with the scene in front of him.
The sun rose high today in Pickering, the smell of grass and fresh air so soothing to Shawn in the best way possible, the cool air blowing on his skin just enough to make him sigh in pure content to be back home again.
"He's a beautiful child you know. You've raised him well." Shawn looked beside him to see his mother smiling widely at him, giving his arm a soft squeeze before casting her eyes back at the beautiful boy who was giggling loudly as his aunt Liyah pushed him gently on the swing.
Shawn wrapped an arm around his mother's shoulder, pulling her into a side hug and placing a soft kiss on top of her head. "Couldn't have done it without your help mum." A soft 'aww' escaped Karen's lips, her small hand rubbing circles on his back as she rested her weight onto her son, who was once his little boy, and now, has a little boy of his own.
What Shawn said was true. He couldn't have raised Angelo the best way possible, without the help of his parents.
Angelo Nathan Mendes.
The name of Shawn's sunshine, his everything, his angel.
It was rough having him when he was still so young since 22 wasn't exactly Shawn's ideal age on becoming a dad, and also given the fact that career wise, it wasn't the greatest idea. But what happened, happened and he was still thankful for it given that he now has such an adorable boy in his life, his son.
The moment Shawn found out that he was going to be a father, it wasn't exactly as joyous as he'd hope it to be. Only being with her for only a couple of months, it was an idiotic move of Shawn for not being extra careful but he kept a positive mindset, telling himself that this was a blessing in disguise. He thought she'd be happy too, just as he was, scared but happy nonetheless, but what Shawn got was the exact opposite.
At first she wanted to get rid of it off the bat, saying how she wasn't ready to be a mother, blaming him for ruining the future she has planned for herself, but after weeks of reassurance and begging from him, she finally gave in. Shawn was glad tour was over that time so he was able to disappear from the public eye to take great care of her, made her feel like a queen.
They've also managed to keep it on the down low the whole time, the fact that they haven't gone public helped in the greatest bit. Shawn telling the world that he was making an album during his disappearance to lessen the suspicion, to derive everyone from finding out what was actually going on. But of course he wasn't lying fully since he can never stop making music, and with him only posting bits of snaps from him in the studio, no one knew that he was actually going to be a father.
They were okay for the 9 months she's carried their child, Shawn expecting her to fall in love with being a mother as time goes by, that they'd be a happy family after everything, but what he didn't expect was that she'd leave right after Angelo was born, gone in a flash and leaving him to raise his child all on his own.
Shawn didn't bother to try and get a hold of her. She already made it clear that she wanted no part of it, even from the very start, so he lets her be. Angelo doesn't deserve that kind of woman in his life anyway, Shawn always wondering what he saw in her and how he ended up with someone like her in the first place.
However, Shawn knew he couldn't hide his secret for much longer. Sooner or later, people are going to get very suspicious on why he decided to extend his break for another year. Fans were getting worried, news outlets were starting to create false theories, and his career image was slowly turning sideways as the media keeps pushing that he was on drugs or something in the likes of.
So when his boy turned one and a half, Shawn posted this photo on his Instagram:
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shawnmendes: My little boy, Angelo Mendes.
Let's just say Shawn broke the internet more so than when he released that Calvin Klein ad.
People were shock, happy, confused, surprised and everything in between. Then the questions on who the mother was started rolling in. Shawn never gave out a name, knowing how people are going to drag her especially if they find out what actually happened, he wouldn't do that her even if she wasn't in his good books. Shawn only stating that he was happy and content, that it was just him and his boy, and wherever she was right now, he wishes the best for her.
"Has he asked about that girl yet?" Karen asked, venom laced in her voice, still refusing to refer to her as 'Angelo's mom' but Shawn knew who she was talking about, the expression on his mother's face just says it all.
"Yeah, once."
"What did you tell him?"
"I told him that she's somewhere out there. Then he just forgot about it instantly." Shawn chuckled, but a heavy feeling settled in his heart. He knew Angelo was going to ask more and more questions about his mom as he grows older, and Shawn doesn't know how to tell him the truth without breaking the little boy's heart.
Shawn doesn't want him to think that something was wrong with him that's why she left, or that he wasn't loved enough by his own mother for her to stay with them. Shawn is dreading that day to be honest, the day he's going to tell him about what really happened.
"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll be fine. He's loved enough by you and more." Karen reassured as if she's read his mind, Shawn smiling down at her, grateful to have her every step of the way, from helping him learn how to change diapers to the secret of tucking a bouncing ball of energy to bed.
"Also, you need to get back on dating Shawn, you need a girlfriend." A groan erupted out of the curly boy's mouth, eyes rolling as he shook his head at what his mother had said. "What? I'm serious! You're not going to be 26 forever, date while you're still young."
"I'm happy as is mum. Angelo is all I need, you guys are all I need. I don't need to find a girlfriend, if someone is out there for me, then she'll come. Besides I don't think Angelo is old enough to understand. I don't want to confuse him by having a girl and then if we break up she'd be gone. It's too stressful. Not to mention I don't have the time."
"Well you've been avoiding every girl that comes your way, how do you know you're not avoiding the one?" Shawn lets out a defeated sigh. It was true though, he has been avoiding every girl. He just doesn't want to be bothered anymore, with his career, tour, his son, he just doesn't think he'd be able to find the time to have a girlfriend and treat her like she deserves.
Plus, not most people have the patience to be with someone with an extremely hectic life. A career like his, and a child added in the mix, most girls just don't want that in their lives.
"Besides, I think Angelo would want you to have someone. You've taken great care of him, I think it's time you find someone who will take great care of you too." Karen gave her son a sweet smile, only wanting nothing more than for him to have the best in life, and to have someone who'd be there for him and Angelo, his other half if you will.
"I'm okay mum. We're okay. And wherever the person I meant to be with, she'll come in her own time."
"But don't you think it's time to stop waiting and start looking?" Karen pressed, raising an eyebrow at Shawn with a knowing look. He only shook his head with a laugh. "No, it's not. Plus, I can't just be with any girl out there. My little man has to approve too you know."
"Hmm, maybe Angelo will be the one who'd find her for you since you're too lazy to do it. You know what they say, kids have a special sense."
Shawn couldn't help but roll his eyes, but before he could tell her mother that the theory is highly unlikely, a small voice interrupted them.
"Dada look! Look at me!" Shawn's heart grew ten times its size when he casted his eyes at his son, standing at the top of the tower with a wide smile, accompanied by his uncontrollable giggles as Aaliyah held him around the waist to make sure he doesn't fall off.
"Look at you, so big and tall, bet you're real proud of yourself, huh?" Shawn jogged over to them, now looking up at Angelo with a wide grin, the little boy's short tuff of hair getting on his face as the wind blows past it, but his smile never did waver
He loves it when he sees his son happy. Nothing can ever beat the feeling of hearing just seeing that precious smile every day. Shawn thought going on stage and playing his song all across the world would be his ultimate feeling of being high on life, but he was proven wrong the moment he saw Angelo smile. That feeling will always be Shawn's greatest high and more.
"I'm just like Dada! Tall and stwong and bwave!" Angelo roared, his cute little face all scrunched up as he gritted teeth, the beautiful sound of Shawn's laughter following suit.
"But are you brave enough to jump from up there bud?" Shawn challenged, walking a bit closer as he positioned himself on the right spot, giving Aaliyah a small nod to let her loosen his grip on the boy before smiling back up at him.
"Yes I am! Im'ma jump!" He huffed, but when he looked down, his little smile faltered.
"Come on buddy, Dada will catch you. I always will." Shawn reassures, opening up his arms. Angelo looked at his father and his smile came right back, this time even brighter with pure love and trust in his eyes and Shawn felt his heart skip a beat.
The little boy jumped with a squeal, Shawn catching him easily with a joyous laugh of his own, spinning him around as he smothered his tiny face with kisses.
The image in itself deserved its own museum, the love and bond of father and son too strong and powerful that no other could ever compare, but a little part of Shawn wished there was someone else with them, someone who could add more light to the picture, someone who'd treat them both with as much love as they would her, someone who could complete their little family.
Shawn couldn't help but think about his mother's words,
"Angelo will be the one who'd find her for you."
***
"Okay bud, get your favorite cereal and daddy will be right here on the opposite shelf okay?" The boy grinned widely with an excited nod, Shawn ruffling his hair with a chuckle before letting his son scour the shelves. Angelo already knew what he needed to do since Shawn has taken him grocery shopping every time. He knew were to get his favorite cereal, so when Shawn heard a box fall on the floor, he expected that the little boy found what he was looking for.
"Pick that up and put it in the cart, please." Shawn said, never letting his eyes leave the shelf of the packets of oatmeal, but when he didn't hear a response, his brows furrowed. "Angelo?" Shawn stood up straight, eyes scanning the aisle, the panic in him growing when he couldn't find his son. "Shit."
Shawn sprinted to the end of the aisle, looking both ways for any sign of the little boy, but he didn't need to look that far when he heard his little voice just by the next aisle.
"Hi! You so pwetty. Are you my momma?"
"Angelo!" Shawn's eyes grew wide as he heard what he just said, jogging towards his son but immediately slowing himself down when the girl his son was talking with knelt to his height with a bright smile, and Shawn could've sworn his heart stopped for a second.
"You are the sweetest, but no buddy, I'm not your momma." She stated gently with a soft giggle, giving Angelo's arm a soft squeeze. A soft 'oh okay' escaped the boys lips, and Shawn can hear the disappointment in it, his heart breaking for his boy, but before he could intrude, she spoke again,
"But I'm sure wherever she is right now, she's so lucky and proud to have a beautiful and sweet boy like you." Shawn couldn't help but swoon at her words, a smile growing on his face as he stared at the woman adoringly, but he quickly shook his head, are you seriously crushing on someone you don't know right now?
"Hi, I am so sorry. He doesn't usually run off like that, and he doesn't usually ask strangers that question out of the blue either." Shawn lets out a shy chuckle, scratching the back of his neck as his cheeks flushed, but she only gave him a wide smile, standing up to her full height as Shawn grabbed Angelo's hand, the boy smiling up at the two adults as if he knows something they don't.
"Oh no, it's okay really. Are you his dad?"
"Uh yeah, I'm Shawn." Shawn reached a hand out, a light blush growing on his face once she took it, her hands are so soft.
"(Y/N). Anyway, I have to get going; I'll see you around."
"Bye (Y/N)!" The young one exclaimed in delight, his little hand raised as he gave her a wave goodbye, a cute giggle coming out of her when she waved back. "Bye Angelo."
She and Shawn locked eyes for a moment, her flashing him a bright smile with a curt nod before turning on her heel and walking away, his eyes lingering on her back until he was staring at the space where she disappeared, finding it hard to wipe the grin off his face.
"She's so pwetty Dada."
"Yeah, she's something."
(Y/N).
Shawn wonders if he'll ever see her again.
***
"Okay, stay put while I order you some ice cream." The sweater covered boy nodded at his father with a smile, Shawn already picturing his mother, Karen, shaking her head at him for giving into his son's wishes. It was quite chilly out in Toronto, the park they were at only having a handful of people due to the weather, a clear sign that an ice cream isn't exactly a good idea, but how can Shawn say no when Angelo's all pouty and cute?
"Thanks man." Shawn paid for the ice creams, knowing that him and his son would be sitting on a bench somewhere while people watching, looking down only to find Angelo gone. "Oh fuck, not again." The dad groaned, utterly confused and worried as he started searching for his son, not knowing why Angelo seems to run off recently.
He's never been like this before, always scared to be far from his dad when they go out, but now, he seemed to have grown the courage to just walk away to somewhere, or rather someone.
"Angelo! Hi buddy." Shawn almost had a whiplash when he turned around at the sound of his son's name, and not to mention the sound of a familiar voice. Shawn blinked a couple times, his lips slightly parted as he couldn't believe his eyes when it landed on her.
She looked even cuter when she's all bundled up with a comfy coat and a scarf to match his, a wide smile painted on her face as she gave his son a soft and gentle hug. Shawn was so enthralled by her that he didn't notice them approaching, his little boy's hand engulfed in hers.
"Shawn." She greeted, her smile not wavering. Shawn found it odd how he seemed to be so captivated by her given the fact that he knows nothing about her and this is only the second time they've met. She just has this aura around her that he finds himself wondering what more could there be to this simple girl his son seems to run off to.
"Hey, it's you again."
"Yup, your son seemed to remember me."
"I mean, a beautiful girl like you is hard to forget." The words slipped out of Shawn's mouth before he could even stop himself, his cheeks turning crimson as he lets out an awkward chuckle.
(Y/N) couldn't stop herself from blushing as well, looking down at the boy by her side with curios eyes since he was sporting an oddly wide grin, before turning her eyes back to the father. "Uh, thank you."
"Dada can (Y/N) eat ice scweam with us?" Angelo butted in before Shawn could say another word, wondering what is going on inside this 4 year old's head.
"I uh, you can join us if you want, but you don't have to! I mean if you're busy it's okay, I don't want to ruin any of your plans." He rambled as he flashed her a small smile, because as much as Shawn doesn't mind, it wasn't really up to him. Maybe she's with someone, or maybe she has somewhere to get to.
"Sure, a little ice cream in this chilly weather probably won't hurt." She shot Shawn a knowing wink, a soft giggle escaping her lips before she looked down at the little boy, missing the way Shawn's cheeks turned even redder when she did that.
She really is something.
"Why don't you get your ice cream from your dad and come with me while I buy mine?" She spoke softly, Angelo letting out a squeal of joy, grabbing up at Shawn for his ice cream and then then dragging her back to the little ice cream shop.
Shawn watched in awe as the two walked away, his heart thumping in his chest loud and fast just seeing Angelo walk hand in hand with (Y/N) as she says something that made the little boy's laugh ring in the air.
What's with this girl that Angelo seems to be extremely comfortable with her in so little time? Shawn knew it probably wasn't the best idea to let his son walk with a person they know nothing about. But Angelo never just talks to random people, let alone actually walk up to them, and part of Shawn thinks there more to this than what actually meets the eye.
"Hey Shawn, you coming with us or what?" Shawn shook his head with a blink, chuckling to himself before jogging up towards the two of them before they were on the way on finding a good spot in the park where they can people watch.
The three sat on a bench, green trees dancing around them as the chilly wind of Toronto blew pass it leaves, the once still water of the little pond situated in front rippling, followed by the sound of laughter erupting out (Y/N)'s lips as Shawn tells her another dad joke, saying that he gets a pass now since he's technically a dad.
The two hit it off pretty quickly, having a conversation like they've known each other for some time, from the outside looking in, it would've looked liked a family, casually enjoying their time at a park bench, the little one who was sat in the middle smiling brightly at the two adults, sometimes chiming in his two sense in the conversation even if sometimes, he has no idea what they're talking about.
"Oh god, I need a breather." (Y/N) stuttered out as soon as she calmed down from her laughter all while wiping the tears from under her eyes. Shawn smiled proudly at himself, heart warm with his cheeks flushed ever since he heard her laugh the first time around. It was very uncommon for him to find someone extremely attractive in such a short time, but whatever this is, Shawn knows there has to have some kind of reason.
"Oh no, something came up, I need to go." Shawn didn't realize that his smile visibly dropped at her words until (Y/N) tilted her head to the side and gave him a curios look, her lips pursed as she try to contain her smile.
Shawn quickly looked away as he bit his bottom lip, chuckling to himself at how much he's being a teenager right now.
(Y/N) found it so cute how flushed his cheeks was getting, her heart beating rapidly against her rib cage but she maintained a calm composure on the outside, thinking that her younger self would have been fainting right there on the spot.
Of course she knew who he was, being that there was a huge billboard of his face on the highway, and his songs playing on the radio more than once, how can she not?
She was also a huge fangirl a while back, but, life happened. She grew up, moved on, and kinda distanced herself from the world behind the computer screen as she tries to be more present in the real world.
And Shawn knows too, that she knows about his career and all that jazz, it was one of the things they've talked about during their conversation, but none of them changed the way they see each other as they carried on, having a person to person interaction and nothing more.
(Y/N) stood up with a smile, Shawn mirroring her actions as they faced each other, ready to bid their goodbyes.
"It was nice hanging out with you." Shawn stood there awkwardly, not knowing if he should go for the hug or the hand shake, but before he could decide, she only nodded and said, "Yeah you too." then she was kneeling down to Angelo's height, her smile wide and bright as she raised her hand for a high five, Angelo connecting there palms with a cute giggle.
"Bye Angelo."
"Bye bye (Y/N)"
"I'll see you two around." And with that, (Y/N) stood back up, gave Shawn a smile and walked away again, a nagging voice inside Shawn's head telling him that he was forgetting something, that he's supposed to chase after her and asked for something, the nagging voice quickly turning into words by his one and only son.
"Dada why you not get her number?" Shawn looked down at the boy fully amused, brows furrowed with his mouth slightly parted.
"Bud, you're 4, what do you know about getting a girl's number?"
"I dunno. Uncle Brian said if she's pretty and you like her, you get her number." Shawn couldn't help but laugh. Of course, who else would Angelo get that from?
"Let's go home buddy."
Shawn wasn't sure if he was ready to date yet. That was the main reason why he didn't get her number. He doesn't know if he will ever be ready to try and have a girlfriend again, he's been single for 4 years, and a part of him is scared about how it will ended up.
Not only that, what if Angelo gets too attached to her and they don't work out in the long run? That would be another big problem Shawn doesn't want to face.
Yeah he does feel some kind of connection with her, but what if she isn't the one? What if them meeting up because of Angelo was just a coincidence?
Well, Shawn used to think that it was just coincidence, until it happened the third time around.
It was one early Saturday morning when Shawn decided to take Angelo out for breakfast, opting for that little café down the street. The sun rays were bright, the sound of a bell ringing when Shawn pulled the door open for his boy, the little one jogging inside and going straight for the counter.
Shawn was ordering their food when he heard the bell sound off again, turning around instinctively, Shawn expected someone to walk in, but his eyes grew wide when he saw Angelo walk out of the cafe, his little figure coming to view by the glass window.
"Shit!" Shawn was in a sprint in a matter of seconds, yanking the door open in a rush that it would've come off its hinges.
"Angelo get back here!" He called out, chasing the now running boy as fast as he could because even though with tiny legs, the little boy seemed to have gone farther than he expected. Shawn's heart thumped even faster when he saw his son round up the corner of the street, disappearing completely from his sight.
"Oh god." Shawn's panic grew, thinking that when he reaches that corner, Angelo would be nowhere to be seen, that he'd be too late and his son would be lost in this huge city.
Making a sharp turn, Shaw came to a complete stop just in time to see Angelo reach for a strangers hand, the girl stopping in confusion when he felt someone grab at her, but when she looked down, her eyes grew wide in shock, same as Shawn when he saw her face.
"No way."
(Y/N)'s gaze snapped at Shawn's voice, eyes staring at him in pure confusion as she looked down at he boy who was grinning like he didn't just give his father a heart attack.
"He ran off again?" She asked teasingly, taking in how Shawn seemed to be out of breath, little beads of sweat on his forehead glistening under the morning sun.
"Give me a sec." Shawn panted, hands resting on his knees as he tried to regain his breathing. Not that he was out of shape, but running wit your heart beating so fast out of fear that you might have lost your son would definitely knock the breath out of you.
"We got to stop meeting like this Shawn." She giggled, shaking her head at the dad who inhaled deeply before standing straight up with a huge exhale, and when Shawn finally took in her appearance, he felt like he couldn't breathe again.
It was obvious that she just went on an early morning jog, with hair up in a ponytail, tights hugging her legs paired with an equally tight tank top and running shoes, Shawn just couldn't seem to take his eyes off her.
Boy he was crushing so hard.
"I swear this doesn't always happen. But when it does, it's always you he finds." Shawn blurted, eyes leaving hers as it looked with his young man, was still smiling widely, eyes going back in forth between the two adults.
"Huh, what a coincidence." (Y/N) marveled, looking at Shawn with a curios glance.
I think not. Shawn knew that there was some kind of meaning behind this, maybe it's a sign that he should try it with her and see where it goes, and judging by the way Angelo seems to brighten up at the sight of her, Shawn knew it definitely was worth a shot.
"And you young man, stop giving your dad a hard time." She giggled, kneeling down to ruffle Angelo's little tuff of hair, the boy giggling a soft 'I'm sowwy' before sprinting towards his dad and hugging his legs.
"It's alright bud, just don't do it again." Shawn chuckled, giving his son a soft squeeze, and a kiss on top of his head, the sight making (Y/N)'s heart warm as she watched the two boys with adoration in her eyes.
She looked down with shake of her head, feeling like she was intruding with their moment, "Well, I better get going, I'll see you two around."
"Wait." (Y/N) stopped in heat tracks, turning back around to see Shawn walking up towards her, a nervous smile on his lips as his hand scratched the back of his neck while the other was interlaced with the little boy by his side.
"I uh, can I have you number? I'd like to see you again. Like not in this way where I always loss Angelo." Shawn chuckled shyly, cheeks all flush and (Y/N) couldn't help but smile at the man.
"Of course." She smiled brightly, Shawn seeming to find her even more gorgeous every time she does.
And with an exchange of contacts, they were waving goodbye again, but this time, Shawn was sure he'll be seeing her again.
"Finally." Angelo mumbled, Shawn completely taken aback by his son's comment, shaking his head with a scoff he said, "What do you mean finally?"
"You take so long to get her number Dada."
Shawn rolled his eyes, trying his best to wrap his mind that his son was four but he was already judging Shawn's game with girls. But nonetheless, Shawn was grateful for his son, because after that little encounter, (Y/N) and him grew closer, and Shawn felt happy to have someone by his side who not only understands his lifestyle, but also cares about Angelo as much as he does.
Months of dating turned into a year, her being such an amazing and supportive girlfriend that Shawn just keeps falling deeper and deeper in love with her. She's always there for both boys no matter what the cause, whether be it on tour or back at Shawn's condo when the three of them are all huddled up on the couch watching whatever Disney movie there was.
Karen loved her right off the bat when they met at Angelo's 5th birthday. The lovely woman knowing that (Y/N) fits perfectly with the two boys just by seeing the three of them together, it was like a picture perfect family, the joy and love radiating off of them that anyone close by would always have a smile on their faces.
It was when Shawn saw her in be with his family that he knew she was for keeps. Just seeing her laugh and bond with his mum, having inside jokes with Aaliyah, and even bond over sports with his dad, Shawn couldn’t have asked for a perfect girl in his life.
Shawn knew that he wanted (Y/N) for the long run, he was madly in love with her that he can see nothing else but a future with her. Shawn was deep into the hole that he knew he can never turn back. More so when he caught the little conversation Angelo and she had one Monday night.
It's been a week since (Y/N) finally decided to officially move in with them, and as she always does, she tucking Angelo into bed as Shawn cleaned up the toys that was littered in the living room, finishing just in time that when he walked towards Angelo's room, he heard the little boy's voice speak,
"(Y/N), will you be my momma?" Angelo questioned out of the blue with a tired smile, a tiny yawn following suit as he eyed the girl with hopeful eyes, (Y/N) halting her movements as she looked at the boy in complete surprise, heart racing as it was the first time Angelo's brought up that word.
She sat down gently on the edge of his bed, the little boy sporting his matching blue pajama set while he was well tucked underneath the cover. Her hand reaching out, she flashed the boy a bright smile, hand coming up to cup his cheek, her touch soft and gentle, just as a mother's should.
"I'll be whoever you want me to be bud." She stated gently, Shawn watching by the door with a huge grin on his face, the sight doing nothing but melting his heart over and over.
"I want you to be my Momma, Dada wants you to be my Momma too." (Y/N) couldn’t help but giggle, her heart warm and fuzzy as he looked at the young boy with so much love like he was her own. She loved Angelo with all her heart and she would gladly take a bullet for the young one anytime, just as much with the boy's dad.
"Is that so?"
"Hmm, are you my momma now?" (Y/N) smiled, recalling the first words Angelo said to her when they first met, back at the grocery store. She looked behind her when she heard the door creak, seeing Shawn leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, a wide grin on his lips as he gave (Y/N) a knowing nod, the girl giving Shawn an equally wide smile before turning her attention back to Angelo.
"Yes Angelo, I'm your Momma now." She whispered, Angelo's face lighting up more than ever before at her words as he jolted up and threw his arms around her neck, giving her the warmest embrace she has ever felt in her life, an embrace that made her feel welcomed, made her feel loved, and it took everything in her strength to keep the tears at bay.
"Good night momma, I love you." The little boy whispered as he went straight back to bed, eyes slowly fluttering close with the smile still on his lips. (Y/N) leaned down, her soft lips connecting with his forehead as she whispered back, "I love you too angel." With as soft sigh of content, she stood up, reaching over to Angelo's beside table to turn on his lamp, a cute little spinning one that illuminated the room with the shapes of moons and stars. She gave the boy one last glance before turning on her heel towards the door, her man smiling widely at her as he flicked the main light off, closing the door gently behind once she joined him outside.
(Y/N) didn't go that far down the hall when Shawn was quick to wrap his arms around her waist, turning her around with his head dipping as he captured her lips in his, a soft giggle coming out of her as she kissed him back immediately, her fingers getting lose in the curls in the back of his head, Shawn grinning wide at the beautiful sound, at the beautiful girl in his arms.
"I finally found you. Finally found the one." He whispered against her lips, a soft sigh of content leaving his lips as he pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers for him to look at her in the eyes, pure love swimming in his brown orbs. (Y/N) bit her lips with a knowing look, eyebrow raised as she shook her head lightly at the man she was so in love with.
"You didn’t find me mister, Angelo did, don't take the credit." Shawn laughed, but didn't bother to argue, it was true after all.
"Fine, I won't. But thank you (Y/N), thank you for completing my–well, our family." (Y/N) nudged the tip of her nose with his, eyes staring back in his with equally as much love as his show, "I'm honored to be a part of it." Shawn was quick to press his lips against hers again, him taking a sharp inhale of breath as he took her in, so happy to have her in his life, in both his and Angelo's lives.
"Say, should we try and give Angelo a younger sibling?" Shawn added cheekily, teeth nipping gently at her bottom lip as his hands slowly went down to cup her bum. (Y/N) giggled, "I don't see why not." She winked, Shawn wasting no time as he hoisted her up with ease with a deep chuckle, a small squeal escaping her lips with her legs wrapping around his waist securely as Shawn carried her to the bedroom, ready to make her feel all his love, in more ways than one.
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amelianamendes · 5 years ago
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Tied Up Part 2
a.n I haven’t really written smut before let alone like this, so sorry if it’s bad
Shawn stands up and walks towards you, “I want to see you taking control, be dominant, be, the boss” he whispers in your ear whilst slowly stroking your hair. You walk towards him a smirk slowly forming, he backs into a wall, “I don’t think you understand what I can do” you lean forward fingers playing with the buttons on his casual shirt, “I can have you throbbing at just a touch” you place your hand on top of his crotch, Shawn gulps, “I can have you whimpering on the bed aching for touch, crying as you have to silence your pleasure” they walk up to his collar you tug on it his breath catches in his throat and grunts, leaning towards his left ear you brush his curls back you feel fingertips along your hips, “don’t make me tie you up already Mendes” sternly so he knows you’re not playing about. “end of my  bed, boxers, eyes shut” he nods his head in fear but rising already.
“Oh, and I don’t like to be kept waiting”                    
He heads of to his bedroom pulling his shirt off and throwing it into the corner, takes his jeans and socks off and sits on the edge of the bed awaiting your return. You walk in red lace bodysuit hugging your figure perfectly you hair down, “stand” he rises immediate adrenaline building inside of him, you see Shawn has always wondered about this stuff and the fact that he gets to experience it with his girlfriend, he couldn’t be happier.
You place your hands on the band of his boxers and pull down in one quick motion, you’re squatting at his feet, you slowly rise all whilst looking him in the eyes, hands on his legs following with you, you place a hand on his chest and push him down onto the bed as you stand up straight.
“now Mendes for each time you misbehave I will cut off one of your senses, first starting with touch, then taste, then sight so then you will only be left with sound, am I clear?” “yes” slight fear in his eyes, he had never seen you like this but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t turned on.
@thotmendes @shawnsmoose @theshawnmendesstorycollection
#shawnmendes #shawn mendes fan fic #smut #shawn mendes smut
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zankivich · 6 years ago
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Teacher’s Pet: A College AU Chapter 10
So some slight angst and as a result tons and tons of fluff from Shawn. I just really love the progression of this story and it gives me all of the feels when writing it. I never plan things out and just write to write, so I have zero clue how many more chapters it’ll be, but it just makes me happy so... yea. Let me know if you like plzzzzz. 
TW: mentions of panic attack
Chapter 10
Shawn was taking his family to airport when you went to campus. Dr. Edwards was in her office, and you needed to know what the damage might be. He had his meetings with the music exec people coming up and you had decided not to tell him a single thing until at least after that. Dr. Edward’s was much more than a professor, she was your mentor, and the hope was that she could be there for you emotionally before it would get too far.
You knocked on her open door seeing her sitting at her desk with her wild, messy curls piled up high in a bun. Her glasses where on her forehead but she moved them back onto her face when she noticed you.
“Come in, come in! What are you doing here on a Sunday?” She smiled.
“I--I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
You closed the door behind you and your mentor’s usual happy, go lucky attitude stilled.
“Oh no, what’s wrong?”
She closed her laptop and pushed it to the side giving you her full undivided attention. You plopped down in the seat across from her desk and kept your gaze on your hands which were twisting fitfully in your lap.
“It’s my fault. I just want to start with that. I knew what the consequences could be, and I--I didn’t stop it.” You started.
“Y/n, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
You swallowed at the lump in your throat feeling tears of frustration and anger burn at your eyes. You hated crying in front of people.
“I can’t…I can’t like tell you all of it right now, because I have to protect him but...I’ve been seeing someone from our class. I did everything that I could to stay away from him, I did but I’m in love with him.” You whispered cheeks flaming. “I love him, and I couldn’t stay away. It’s not just sex; it never was. We’re just like...good for each other. And I don’t want to end it”
“Sweet Jesus.” Dr. Edwards sighed sliding down in her chair. “I am too old for this shit. Why are you telling me this now, half way through the semester?”
“Someone is blackmailing me. They sent pictures of us kissing and hugging. They won’t tell me what they want but… I figured I should confess.”
Her eyes became alarmed. “Now wait just a minute. No matter what fucked up thing you’ve done, someone can’t just blackmail you. Have you reported it?”
“Did you miss the part where I said I’m sleeping with a student? No, Kate, I didn’t report it!” You huffed.
“Alright, just calm down. Let’s just go through our options here. How involved are you at this point?”
You winced. “He practically lives in my apartment….There is no practically. I can’t remember the last time he back to his place.I just met his family for the first time. We’ve done the ‘I love you’s’. We’re as involved as physically possible.”
“And you’ve what… given him test answers? Helped him with assignments?”
“No! No, absolutely not. He’s learned more in class than even I can believe considering where he started. Sure, sometimes he comes to office hours, but I don’t help him more, or less,than any other student. And when we grade papers, I purposely put his in your stack. I only know his grade because he likes to gloat. I’ve done everything that I can to make things as fair as possible.”
She sighed spinning around rapidly in her chair and peering up at the ceiling. The only thing keeping you from a nervous breakdown was that she hadn’t kicked you out of the program yet.
“Shit, y/n.”
You hiccuped trying to keep the tears at bay.
“Am I gonna get kicked out of school?” You whispered.
“I...Don’t know. I honestly haven’t read up on that policy in years on account of me not sleeping with students.”
You rolled your eyes. “Funny. You’re being funny right now.”
“Sorry,” She smiled. “Look. Let’s take some time. You go home, focus on your research, while I do some digging. In the meantime, I’m gonna have to ask you not to come to class. I have to cover my own ass here too.”
You nodded keeping your eyes on your hands. “That’s fair.”
“And do not contact whoever sent you those pictures. Just keep it at bay for now, until I find out just how big of a mess we’re in.”
She led you to the door giving you a hug that reminded you of your mom. When you left your heart was heavy in your chest. Your love for Shawn was incredible and it was great, but your master’s was all that you had to be taken seriously in your field. Getting kicked out would ruin you without a doubt. Not that you didn’t think about this before dating the guy, but there just wasn’t any staying away from him. And on top of that you really didn’t fucking want to.
You got back to your apartment before Shawn had made it back, crawling out of the clothes you’d thrown on to be somewhat presentable and into one of Shawn’s hoodies before sliding into bed. The curtains were drawn, the room dark, and you were fully spiraling into the sadness. As far as you were concerned the world was ending. You didn’t know who you were without your education. It had become your passion and your life, and the thought of that being taken away was terrifying. You could have gotten angry at Shawn. Afterall you both had not entered into the relationship with the same risk, and you told him time and time again that it was dangerous. But, when you were lying in bed crying your eyes out there was only one person in the whole world you wanted comfort from and that was him.
“Hey babe, I’m stopping at the bakery we found last month? The one with the little cinnamon donut holes you like? I should be back soon in twenty though.”
You had given yourself a pep talk to stay cool, calm, and collected for about fifteen minutes before calling Shawn, and this tiny bit of information only sent you sprawling head first into tears all over again.
“A--Are you crying? Hey? Hey, what’s wrong?”
You heard him shuffling around and the bing of a door as he assumedly left the bakery.
“This is so gross. Crying is the worst.” You huffed wiping angrily at your cheeks.
“Baby talk to me. What happened?”
“It’s nothing. I mean it’s not nothing but...I just want you to come home. Please.” You sniffled.
“I’m coming now.”
“Wait, Shawn!”
“What, what?” He exclaimed at the sound of your voice.
You bit your lip voice softening drastically. “Will you bring the donut holes please?”
He sighed heavily. “Jesus, y/n. Yes. I’ll bring the donut holes.”
“Thank you.” You whispered.
“I love you, just give me a minute alright?”
“Okay.”
Time passed impossibly slowly without him. You cried into your blankets, holding the pillow from Shawn’s side of the bed to best absorb his scent. This is how fucking gone you were, weeping into a pillow like a fucking child. Oh how the mighty fall.
Your face was shoved into his pillow when you heard the familiar sound of the door opening. You listened to him drop his keys on the bed side table and kick his shoes off of his feet. It was always your favorite sound in the world because it meant he was there, he was staying, with you. This time was no different and you quickly shifted your face out of his pillow to tackle him into the bed and hide your face in his chest instead.
“Woah there.” He murmured wrapping his arms tightly around you. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
More tears escaped, and Shawn just seemed to know exactly what to do. You sat in silence, you crying, and him rubbing your back in a soothing manner. His fingers came to rest in your hair pulling the wild curls out of your face and holding it in a makeshift ponytail. It took forever for you to cry yourself out and having him there did make it easier as long as you didn’t have to look at him. When the tears had come to a halt and your body was hiccuping in exhaustion, you finally lifted your head from his chest and peered up as he was handing you a box of tissues off the nightstand.
“Have you been jerking off in my bed?” You sniffled grabbing tissue. “I don’t keep those there.”
He snorted. “No. We have sex like twice a day, who has the time or the sperm? I picked some up on my way home. Figured you could use ‘em.”
You blew your nose multiple times, Shawn holding his hand out to take them from you.
“I am not putting my snotty tissues in your hand right now. I want you to still want to have sex with me after this.” You muttered, throwing them onto the table instead.
He grabbed at your chin tilting it so that your eyes met and smiling softly at you.
“I’ll always want to have sex with you, no matter what you do.”
You hiccuped and pushed your hand against his dumb, perfect face not in the mood to get lost in his eyes at the moment.
“Sure.”
“Are you ready to talk about it yet?” He murmured hands rubbing soothingly at your back.
You peered up at him over red rimmed eyes, your whole body tensing.
“I can’t tell you.”
He frowned. “What do you mean, you can’t tell me?”
“It’s not a big deal. I--I don’t want you to worry.”
“Y/n I am now a hundred times more worried than I was before you said anything. What is going on that you won’t tell me? You promised you wouldn’t let things get on top of you.”
“I did! I did. I’m reaching out. This is me reaching out instead of pushing you away. I just can’t tell you what happened. I’m doing this for you.”
He shook his head in confusion. “I don’t want you to do this for me! I want to help. Why aren’t you letting me help you?”
“Look it’s my shit to deal with; it doesn’t concern you!”
“You concern me! You’re my girlfriend; it all concerns me. Just…” He groaned looking up ceiling and taking a deep breath. “I’m not trying to start a fight. I just want to be there for you.”
You crawled out from under the covers moving to straddle his waist and wraps your arms around his back. Your face fit perfectly into his neck and you kissed him in reassurance.
“You are. You always are. You’re perfect. I just . . . don’t wanna hurt you.”
His hands found your hips rubbing circle sinto the flesh.
“Then please just tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring the shit out of me.”
He wasn’t letting it go and honestly it was all getting to be a little much. You were suffocating under the weight of it all and you didn’t know how you were going to come out of it in one piece. So, you reached behind you and dug into your pocket for your phone swiping it open to get into your messages. You pulled up the first picture and handed him the phone, deciding that now would be the perfect time to dive into the donuts.
“Holy fuck.” He mumbled.
“Yep.” You nodded around a cinnamony piece of confection.
“W--Who is it? How could you not tell me about this? How does this having nothing to do with me?!”
“So...I don’t know who it is. I got the text at dinner after your recital and I didn’t want you to be stressed out again after everything that you went through rehearsing. I wanted you to just focus on meeting with the big time music people. There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s my fault, and I’m the one who’s gonna have to deal.”
“Your fault? We’re together. We’re--We’re in a relationship. We just love each other, we aren't hurting anyone. That’s not wrong.” He chastised. “There’s no fault to be had.”
You rolled your eyes running your fingers consolingly through his hair. Your soft hearted, gooey Canadian would of course take it that way.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insinuate that our relationship is a mistake. It isn’t. And I love you. And I don’t regret anything. But, i’m in really deep shit right now and there’s not much you can do to get me out of it.”
“They wouldn’t kick you out. You’re the best person they’ve ever had.” He mumbled wrapping his arms tighter around you as if his hodl alone could protect you from the world.
“I appreciate that, but I think you might be a little biased.”
He sighed peering into your eyes and holding his face in your hands.
“I won’t let them kick you out because of me. If it comes down to it, I’ll fix it. I promise.”
And he really did look so confident in what he was saying. As if there was nothing that would get in his way when it came to you. It was sweet and endearing and crazy because your whole body ached to believe him.
“How?” You mumbled eyes straying to his chest.
He tilted your face back up to his, eyes firm in their stance.
“I’ll do whatever it takes. Tell them I pursued you and you wanted nothing to do with me. Those photos don’t show the whole truth. They just show whatever story we tell them. I would never let this end your career. I know what it means to you.” He whispered.
It was certainly a lot to think about. Shawn stayed propped up against the headboard, letting you stay curled up in his arms as you shared the donut holes that he’d brought home. The quiet was nice after all the stress of the morning. It was odd for you how much you craved the comfort of his body. You’d never been so needy in your past relationships. And yet, something in you just wanted to crawl in his arms and never face the world again. He was warm and perfect and he smelled like home. He slipped his hands under your--his--sweatshirt and traced shapes on your back soothing you until your eyes felt heavy and you sunk deeper into his hold. Maybe things would be better when you woke up.
***
You sat in your bed watching Shawn get ready for his meeting. You weren’t allowed to go, they were sending a car for him and everything, so all you could was make sure he looked like a God on his way out the door. Shawn was making this harder than ever considering the perfect canvas you had to work with.
He collapsed onto your bed throwing one of his shirts to the ground to join the other several that had been thrown in your attempt to dress this man child.
“Fuck it. I’m not going.” He muttered hiding his face in his hands.
“Like hell you’re not.”
You scooted over behind him wrapping your arms around him from behind to lean your head upon his shoulder.
“What’s going on? Talk to me.”
He pulled at his hair in frustration and glared at the wall.
“It’s stupid. This is stupid.” He mumbled.
You smiled at him because a grumpy Canadian was quite the adorable contradiction.
“Do you remember the time you sang for me in one of the practice rooms?” You asked running your fingers along his bare chest.
“Yea...You had a bad day and you came to see me during my independent study. We went to dinner after.”
You nodded. “Bad day is kind of an understatement. I had a panic attack that day in the middle of a presentation for the Dean of liberal arts. It was really bad. And there was no one there to hum in my ear. I spent forty-five minutes in a bathroom unable to breathe. We had to reschedule.”
He turned over his shoulder to stare at you.
“You never told me that.”
“I know. Bad with sharing emotions, remember? Still working on it.” You smiled warmly. “Anyway, when I came to see you my nerves were frazzled. I was a fucking mess. And you were practicing that song you’d written a long time ago.”
“Never Be Alone?”
“That’s the one. You sang it for me in just that tiny little room with the echo and it felt like resurfacing. Like I’d been outside of myself for a long time, and it brought me back to my being. I knew then that you were special. If you can do that for me and my stubborn, emotional ass, I know you can do it for others. You’ve got this Shawn.” You murmured emphatically into his shoulder. “I know it.”
You kissed at his neck and settled your fingers in his hair as he let out a breath he must have been holding in forever. The tension was back in his neck and shoulders, but he was nodding and letting your words sink in.
“I’m scared.” He admittedly finally. “I don’t want to let you guys down.”
“The only way you could ever let me down is if you weren’t your true self, and if you didn’t go after what you wanted in life. You don’t get signed and I’m still gonna be madly in love with you. And I’m still gonna come to every gig and rock the fuck out with you. Don’t do it for us, do it for you.”
You sat in silence for a while, the weight of your words slowly absorbing. He put his hands on top of yours and took some more deep breaths before ultimately sighing.
“Is motivational speech giving part of your master’s program?” He asked dryly
“Very funny. Get your ass up, you have a meeting to get to.”
You climbed off of his back in order to go to your closet where his clothes were quickly over taking yours. You went shopping together a lot because your boyfriend was sexy and you liked to dress him up and he liked to let you. You pulled a black floral button up off the hanger. It had short sleeves and would show off his arms. In the large scheme of things, maybe it didn’t matter, but he’d be confident if he knew he looked good and damn would he look good.
You held the shirt out to him and watched with knowing satisfaction as he slid it on. He peered at you with heistant eyes wondering if this was the right one. This man was driving you up a wall, and if you didn’t get him to chill the fuck out asap he would never make it to his meeting.
You slipped your palms under the fabric of his shirt reaching up to tweak at his nipples which were always ultra sensitive. He blushed crimson and tried to back away but you quickly grabbed at his belt loop to pull him forward.
"Babe what are you--"
"Maybe if my mouth is on you, you won't be able to think about nervous?"
You pressed your lips to his left nipple feeling the goosebumps appear across his skin. He closed his eyes and sighed quickly becoming putty in your hands. You licked and sucked at the skin until it was erect and wet.
You had wanted to play with his nipples ever since you noticed just how sensitive they were. Sometimes they would simply brush against you during sex and the sensation alone would be enough to make them hard. Given the look on your boyfriend's face this was something you were definitely going to have to explore more in depth.
You pulled your mouth off of him and blew at the skin causing him to moan and slip his fingers around the back of your neck doing nothing but simply gripping the skin. It was a little dominant and a little messy and you loved it.
"Remind me to do that again later." You grinned moving to button his shirt for him.
"I....I can't say I hate you cause I don't, but you really kill me sometimes. I have a sneaking suspicion you’re kinkier than I could ever imagine."
You fluttered your eyelashes at him in mock innocence, which only seemed to propel him further. Unfortunately he did kind of need to get going.
"I love you." You murmured letting your eyes rest on his. "You're gonna do great."
He nodded softly and kissed your lips one, two, and three times which wasn't helping the whole not wanting him to leave thing. Eventually, guitar case in hand, he was out the door and you were left to your research, and definitely not to count down the hours until he came home. Definitely.
***
Shawn’s p.o.v
He placed his guitar case against the wall and kicked off his shoes, placing them against the wall next to her smaller ones. He sniffed at the air as his stomach rumbled and the scent of home cooked food settled deep in his nostrils. There was movement in the kitchen, and along with the glorious smell of food he found himself practically floating towards it.
“Babe?” He called out catching her just as she was pulling a pan out of the oven.
She groaned turning to face him.
“You weren’t supposed to be back this early! I didn’t even get to change yet.”
“What’s all this?”
“It’s your ‘congratulations for meeting with a record label’ dinner.” She murmured blinking her big ole eyes at him in innocence. “I asked your mom for her roast recipe. And I...I made cookies cause whether the news is good or bad, you need cookies. So…”
A smile so big his face felt stretched appeared on his lips and he quickly ran around the island to get to her. Her lips were like heaven on his, and the passion that was radiating from within him felt overwhelming and completely necessary all at once. No one had ever done something like that for him. He’d only told her about roast dinners one night when they were lying in bed trying to talk about the things that mattered to them. It had been when they were still getting to know each other, and for her to remember that felt like something special, and something to take note of. He was sure in that moment that no one had ever cared for him like her. And as a result, the hold that she had on him tightened, and the need to be with her and to belong to her only got tighter.
She still had oven mitts on as he gripped her hips through the apron running his tongue along her lip. Instead of granting him access like he wanted, she pushed softly against his chest until he got the hint.
“Not that I don’t love your lips and everything, but I kinda want feed you before the food is cold. And I want to look more presentable when I do it.”
“You’re beautiful.” He growled defiantly, digging his hands into her hips for emphasis. “I don’t need you to dress up for me. I’d much rather this apron be the only thing I have to take off of you later.”
She raised an eyebrow at him a smirk forming across her soft lips. He managed to convince her to bring the roast to the table and sit on his lap while they ate. It was the sappiest, most ridiculous thing ever, but he wanted to be close to her and he didn’t wanna wait through a whole meal to do it. The food was good as hell, and he made a mental note to deny, deny, deny if his mother ever asked him whose was better. In the deep pits of his mind, he remembered being sixteen and swearing that he’d marry the woman who could cook a roast like his mom. She looked at him with gentle, kind eyes, and just in case she could read his thoughts he shook his head and looked down as his cheeks warmed.
“So… Either the news is so good you’re stringing me along or I’m gonna have to go apeshit on some music exec’s face.”
He chuckled. “The funniest part about that statement, is that I know you would go apeshit without hesitation.”
“Of course.” She shrugged. “Now tell me.”
“Yea so...It was Island records. There was this guy named Andrew and he had a couple other people in the room. They found my stuff online and he just played it for them while we all sat around this very clean, glass table. And then they asked me some questions about the type of music I wanna make, and I sang for them.”
“Okay...AND?!”
He grinned teasingly at her. “And he asked me to come to a studio in LA. Wants to introduce me to some music people. Said we could have a serious conversation about him being my manager, if I wanted.”
She leaped from his lap like a dolphin hopping out of the water, and it was as impressive as it was incredibly adorable.
“Are you fucking me?! He wants to manage you? Just like that? I told you. I said my baby’s a fucking icon, and everyone’s gonna love you and what happened, sir? One fucking meeting and you already have a record deal!”
Something about her praise and her acceptance made it all feel much realer than it had felt in the moment. Maybe it was just knowing that she fully supported him. And it wasn’t his mom or his little sister or his best friends. She didn’t have to love his music at all. But, she had from the moment they met and that made him much more confident in what he was creating. She’d never believe him if he told her that he couldn’t have done that meeting without her, but it couldn’t have been more true. His cheeks were now flaming under her praise and he pulled her back into his lap to hide the evidence in her hair.
“It’s not quite a record deal yet. Andrew was saying it could take months to actually solidify a deal. Him being my manager wouldn’t necessarily mean Island would sign me.”
She rolled her eyes at him with so much sass, his heart nearly burst from his chest. So. Fucking. Cute.
“Boy will you just bask in the greatness for a minute. Bask in it!”
She kissed his cheeks as if to say, “you were born red, get used to it.” and fed him pot roast to his heart’s content. And then she took him to the couch and put on Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban while she rode him into the couch with nothing but her apron on. Some might say it was the best nice of his whole entire life. And they just might be right.
Tag List: 
@nevermindmisha 
@alltoowhalee13 @glader-groupa-sub8
@begginyouformendes
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shawnyboymendesxox-blog · 6 years ago
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Fallin’ All In You - I made this Tumblr page just for you guys to be able to read my fan fiction of Shawn Mendes. I haven’t wrote fan fic in years!! It’s hard to get in to the story but I think you will all love it. Enjoy!! 
*****
Bevin 
I couldn't help but boogie along with the music Maddie had on while we were getting ready to head out. We both just finished our shifts at The Sunshine Diner and were eager to get a few pints into us.
'I'm so excited for this girls night, Jonah always ruins the night when he comes out.'
She wasn't wrong, my boyfriend would always cling onto me for the whole night, even when his friends were out as well. We've been seeing each other for 7 months. I moved to NYC from Ireland over a year ago. We did jump into things, but he makes me happy. I could hear my phone buzzing. It was a text message from Jonah.
'Enjoy your night babe. Talk tomorrow. I love you.'
I love you. I still haven't said it back. I've never been in love before, and I'm scared to say it because I'm unsure of what love is.
'What do you think?'
Maddie shouted over the music distracting me from my thoughts. She stood there in a tight dress and heels. She always over dressed when we went out, she says, 'How else am I going to catch the guys attention?' She looked great in everything. Her short brown hair sitting just by her chin.
I turned and looked at my reflection. My auburn hair waving over my shoulders down to my hips.  Maybe it's time for a cut.
'So are you going to get dressed, or are you just going to stare at yourself in the mirror all night?'
I threw on a skirt, t-shirt and boots. I was always way more casually dressed than Maddie. It probably works out better in her favor in the end. Maddie was single and wild. She loved getting her hands on any guy she wanted. I always thought would I be like that if I wasn't in a relationship.
'Taxi is here, are you ready?'
I grabbed my jacket and off we went.
*****
The Tipsy Cow. A student bar that had karaoke then late night music. Maddie was in university so always dragged me out for the student nights. Because I'm a full time waitress I was lucky enough to get the day off tomorrow. Which meant I could drink to my hearts content. I mean without worrying about getting a hangover.
I followed Maddie over to the bar. She ordered us two Pink Gins and Tonic. Dangerous stuff.
'Oh Mads, G&T, you know how I get on these.'
'I know.' Maddie laughs as she walks over to our friends and takes a seat.
Three Gins down the line, there I was, up on the Karaoke. I understand now why Maddie had me drinking gin. The only time I will ever get up and sing is when I've had a few drinks in me. The table erupted in cheers when my name was called to go up on stage.
There I was grooving away to the beginning of Whitney Houston's 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody'.
*****
I was standing at the bar waiting to be served.
'Hey Bev, were heading out to the smoking area, meet us out there.' Maddie said into my ear over the music.
I waved her away, I couldn't see in front of me I just needed a glass of water. Everyone was dancing around and bumping into me.
Then I caught eyes with him. I didn't know if he was looking at me or at someone from behind. I turned around to check. He continued to stare, never losing eye contact. I looked at him in confusion, then he started walking towards me.
The closer he got I could see that yes he was coming over to me. His curly brown hair was hanging over his forehead. He stopped in front of me and smiled. His smile made my stomach fill with butterflies. It didn't help that I was highly intoxicated and was already feeling sick.
'Hi, can I get you a drink.' He smiled.
His Canadian accent made me weak. I couldn't help but feel guilty that I had these thoughts, but there was nothing wrong with a kind guy offering to buy me a drink. Was there?
******
Let me know if you enjoyed this. Any feedback would be amazing.  If you have any questions or ideas please get involved.  Thank you xxx
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