#I crave her downfall

[idontevenremember5minutesago]

My rage at Stella making out like a bandit and receiving no comeuppance is what will fuel me as I await season 3.

[barnacles34]

Beautiful Relationship

Tags: Romance, Sex, Soft Ryujin, Male Reader

With her nestled against the edge of the tub, I reached for the book I had left on the counter, opening it to where we had left off. It was an old copy of "Anna Karenina," the pages slightly yellowed, the spine well-worn from countless readings.

Ryujin sighed contentedly as I began to read aloud, my voice low, resonating in the quiet intimacy of the bathroom.

“‘All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow,’” I read, my fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on my lap. The words seemed to echo in the room, intertwining with the stillness around us. “‘In seeking happiness for others, we find it in ourselves.’”

Ryujin tilted her head back slightly, her eyes closed, her body fully relaxed against mine. “I love hearing you read,” she whispered

----------------------

The foggy weather clung to my skin like a second layer, a damp embrace that blurred the edges of the world around me as I stepped out of the condo. Each step felt light, almost floating, buoyed by the strange clarity that had settled over me. The condo itself—where I had just experienced something raw, something deeper than anything I’d known—felt miles away already, even though Ryujin's presence was still etched into my senses. Her face buried in a book, she had waved lazily from the large leather couch as I left, a gentle smile on her lips, a silent reassurance that lingered in the back of my mind.

The streets outside were nearly empty, a ghostly contrast to the usual bustling of Seoul. It was the kind of solitude I had long craved, the quiet that comes after the rain when the air smells of wet earth and fresh grass, mingling with the faint, distant scent of exhaust and city life. The kind of quiet where thoughts can breathe, where the world's noise feels muted, and the only sound is the gentle patter of raindrops on pavement. I inhaled deeply, feeling a strange contentment in the cool, misty air—a sensation that was somehow both calming and electric.

Enough of the background setting drivel. My mind snapped back to the task at hand as I drove toward Samsen HQ, the cityscape slipping by in a blur of gray and silver. The receptionists at the front desk were visibly surprised at my unexpected arrival. I saw them exchange glances, a flicker of confusion passing over their faces before they snapped back into their polished smiles. I had been absent from the office for a few days—unusual for me, and certainly enough to stir the quiet currents of office politics that always buzzed beneath the surface. There was always a game being played here, even if you sat at the top.

The days of absence had been deliberate, of course, a move calculated to keep the lesser sharks on their toes, to stoke the fires of intrigue among those who thought they could outmaneuver me. Let them wonder, let them speculate—it kept them busy and distracted. To be honest, the supposed mind games were more of an ego trip than any real threat. These pretenders held barely any power to undermine me. They were nuisances at best, and any one of them could be removed with a single call. The irony was almost amusing. I had the president’s number on speed dial, and yet these people acted as if they could orchestrate my downfall with hushed whispers in the hallways.

“Viva la Seoul!” I muttered to myself, a half-smile playing on my lips as I navigated the labyrinthine corridors of corporate life. The place had always fascinated me, with its paradoxes and its hypocrisies, its cutthroat maneuvering, and its strange, almost poetic absurdities. The Nietzschean interns who would debase themselves for a fraction of my hourly wage, desperate for approval or advancement. The older managers, balding and paunchy, somehow managing to crawl up the ladder faster than those who had dedicated themselves to optimal efficiency and health.

Was I evil for thriving in this environment? Was there something fundamentally wrong with finding beauty in these contradictions, in relishing the dance of corporate warfare? The thought amused me more than it should have. Maybe it was the fact that my entire existence was built around these principles, these axioms of survival. Maybe that was why I found it so hard to believe that anyone else could see the world any differently.

But then there was Ryujin, the outlier, the anomaly that challenged everything I thought I knew. She was proof that there was another way, that life didn’t have to be a series of calculated moves, that it could be something more—a mix of spontaneity and sincerity, without pretense or strategy. She was the exception to the rule, enough to make me question the very foundations of my beliefs, to make me wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was a different way to play the game.

The danger she posed was undeniable—she could unravel me, expose me to vulnerabilities I hadn’t known existed. And yet, the benefits she offered were so much more profound, so much more intrinsic. With her, everything seemed more vivid, more real. The same conversations I’d grown to hate with others—talks of relationships, the future—felt fresh and exciting with her, filled with possibility and promise.

I was so lost in thought that I almost missed the knock at my door, the sharp rap that pulled me back into the present. My new secretary entered without waiting for a response, a young woman with bright eyes and a sharp tongue, one of the few I hadn’t hired for her looks or her connections but for her brains and her grit. She had been foisted on me by my so-called equals, who thought I needed someone to keep me in check. They didn’t realize that I’d turned her into an asset, someone who could see through the corporate fog almost as well as I could.

“Sir!” she burst out, a hint of panic in her voice. “A rival competitor has just published an article about your recent absence. And they’ve announced a new home appliance chain aimed directly at Samsen’s market.”

I felt a slow smile creep across my face. “Good,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “Let them make their moves.”

It was showtime. The familiar thrill of the game flooded through me, sharpening my senses, focusing my mind. The room seemed to hum with a new energy, the fog outside thickening as if the world itself was holding its breath, waiting to see what would happen next.

I liked the unpredictability, the dance of strategy and counter-strategy. I could already imagine the maneuvers that would follow, the ripple effects of this new announcement, the way I would turn this challenge into an opportunity. In the end, it was all just another move on the board, another chance to prove that I was still the master of this game.

But even as I prepared to dive back into the fray, my thoughts drifted back to Ryujin. Her face, her smile, the way she made everything seem a little less bleak, a little less calculated. She was the only unknown variable, the one piece of the puzzle that didn’t quite fit. And maybe that was why I couldn’t stop thinking about her, even now, with the scent of competition in the air and the thrill of the fight ahead.

“Alright,” I said, snapping back to the moment, my voice calm but firm. “Let’s see what they’ve got.”

The secretary nodded, turning to leave, but not before casting a quick, curious glance over her shoulder. I didn’t mind. Let them wonder. Let them speculate. They had no idea what was coming next. Neither did I, but for once, that uncertainty felt like an advantage.

—--

After a whole day’s worth of intrigue, the outside felt damper than before with the slight tint of the night on the sky. The executive cars quickly pulling away to their respective areas after Samsen closed in a new historic high on the stock market. Greene’s power laws were accurate, accurate in their vagueness, in what constitutes as a power play, a masterful case of deception, and it just so happens that I have internalized it. 

Crooked? Maybe. 

The drive back home felt even fresher, unburdened by the rush of being down on the market, and burdened by the smell fresh of the damp grass, the damp streets with my windows all the way down. Pedestrians drew their phones, seeking to record the person that seemingly sways the national politics wherever he went. 

I promise you this is not an ego play, I really do control the national politics, but the magnitude of power also brings about the same magnitude of the potential to fail. But I’m used to that, my years of training, being down millions, multiple millions have utterly destroyed whatever the fuck part of brain controls my ability to discern risk. People don’t know how leveraged I am on the stocks, how leveraged to the fucking tits I am, my entire multi-billion fortune rests on the slight percent nudges of the hour, the minute, the second. 

That’s what drives me, performance adapts to what you expect and prepare for. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for the public, The government is readily available to bail me out in the billions.

Finally, I pull into the parking lot. I anticipate what I might see when I enter the condo, excited for the possibilities and excited for whatever the singular possibility might be. Will I see my hot girlfriend splayed onto the armchair, with only a tight-knit sweater dress on? 

The smell of vanilla wafted in the air as I approached the condo. As I approached, I was about to input the code into the door but it just opened with the touch of my fingers. And I saw Ryujin standing there, in a tasteful pajama set with loafers waiting at the door.

“Did you really read books all day?” I asked.

“Sometimes these days are warranted.” And hugged me below my shoulders, it’s always a spectacle to feel how small a kpop idol truly is, not that I have experience with them, it’s just that Ryujin feels small. I held her waist as I slowly entered, as she slowly moved backwards.

“Did you eat?” She asked, stepping away so that I could take off my shoes. 

“No, I just wanted to be home early.”

“Aww, you must be tired,” Ryujin said softly, stepping back to give me space as I entered. She glanced at the table, where dinner was already laid out, a quiet gesture that spoke volumes about her care.

I looked at the meal, then back at her, a small nod of acknowledgment passing between us. “You didn’t have to wait,” I said, my voice steady, though the hint of gratitude was unmistakable.

She shrugged slightly, her hands finding their way into her pockets, a gesture of both nonchalance and shyness. “I wanted to. Besides, I wasn’t really hungry until you got here.”

I raised an eyebrow, a faint smile tugging at the corner of my lips. “Convenient.”

Ryujin met my gaze briefly, then looked away, a subtle flush creeping up her neck. “Yeah, well… I figured you’d be starving after today.”

I walked over to the table, pulling out a chair for her. “Sit,” I said, more as a gentle command than a request. She hesitated for a split second before complying, her movements almost tentative as she took the seat.

I settled into the chair across from her, the space between us charged with an energy that was still new, still unfolding. There was a comfort in the silence that hung in the air, a kind of unspoken understanding that neither of us felt the need to fill with words.

“Did you make this?” I asked, gesturing to the food, though the answer was already clear.

“Yeah,” she replied, her voice soft. “I hope it’s okay.”

I nodded, picking up my chopsticks. “It’s more than okay.”

We started eating, the clinking of chopsticks against bowls the only sound for a while. I could feel Ryujin’s eyes on me from time to time, as if she was trying to gauge something, but she didn’t say anything. I let the quiet stretch on, content to let the moment linger.

Eventually, she broke the silence, her voice low, almost as if she wasn’t sure whether to speak. “I’ve been thinking… about us.”

I didn’t look up right away, taking a moment to finish my bite before responding. “Yeah?”

She shifted in her seat, her fingers fidgeting slightly with her chopsticks. “I don’t want to mess this up.”

I placed my chopsticks down, meeting her gaze with a steadiness that I hoped would reassure her. “You’re not. We’re figuring it out.”

Her lips curved into a small, uncertain smile, and she nodded. “I guess I just… I want to be what you need.”

I leaned back in my chair, studying her for a moment before replying. “You already are. But this isn’t just about what I need.”

Ryujin’s eyes flickered with something—relief, maybe?—but she didn’t say anything, just nodded again, as if she was absorbing my words.

Our dinner ended in satisfaction, and plates were washed under our melodic humming. And the area of our participation changed, onto the couch.

The room was dim, the glow from the TV casting shifting patterns of light and shadow around us. "Twin Peaks" flickered on the screen, the eerie opening score filling the quiet. Ryujin leaned into me, her body fitting neatly against my side, one arm draped over my stomach.

I tightened my hold around her, my hand resting firmly on her waist. She sighed softly, a small, content sound, her eyes fixed on the screen but her body melting further into mine.

“You like this show?” she asked quietly, almost as if testing the waters.

“I do,” I replied, my thumb rubbing gentle circles on her hip. “It’s got that strange charm”

She chuckled under her breath, a sound that sent a warm hum through me. “Kind of like you, then.”

I smirked. “Maybe. But you don’t seem to mind.”

She shook her head, nestling closer, her hand moving slightly against my shirt. “No… I don’t.”

I could feel her pulse, a steady beat beneath my palm, her head resting on my shoulder, her breaths syncing with mine. She was so quiet, so small in these moments, her usual boldness softened by the closeness between us.

Without a word, I shifted, pulling her fully into my lap. She let out a surprised breath, looking up at me with wide eyes. “What are you doing?” she asked, though there was no real protest in her tone.

“Getting comfortable,” I replied simply, guiding her so her legs draped over mine. “Is that a problem?”

She shook her head, a slight blush creeping up her neck. “No… it’s fine.”

We settled again, her hands resting lightly on my chest, as if she wasn’t sure what to do with them. I covered them with mine, holding her in place. Her cheeks flushed deeper, and I could feel the way her heartbeat quickened just slightly under my touch.

We watched in silence for a while, my fingers tracing idle patterns on her back. Ryujin shifted now and then, as if finding new ways to fold herself into me, her body instinctively seeking more contact.

The sound of Agent Cooper’s voice drifted through the room, but I was more aware of her—the soft rise and fall of her breathing, the way her fingers occasionally twitched against my shirt, as if she wanted to say something but wasn’t quite sure how.

“Do you think they’ll solve the mystery?” she asked at last, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I think it’s less about the mystery,” I said, my tone low, “and more about how it pulls everyone together… or apart.”

Ryujin nodded slowly, her eyes still on mine, her thumb brushing over my hand. “Kind of like us,” she murmured, almost absently.

I chuckled softly, leaning down until our foreheads almost touched. “Are you saying I’m a mystery?”

She bit her lip, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Maybe… but one I don’t mind trying to solve.”

I smiled, pressing a quick kiss to her temple. “Good. I like keeping you guessing.”

She laughed, the sound soft and genuine, and then snuggled deeper into my hold, her head resting just under my chin. Her fingers found mine, and she gave a light squeeze, her body relaxing completely against me.

And there, in the flickering light of the TV, we stayed close, without the need for any more words.

A dim warmth spread through my body, a quiet satisfaction as Ryujin nestled into me, her legs folded beneath her. Her soft breaths were steady, rhythmic, her chest rising and falling in a comforting cadence. The episode of "Twin Peaks" ended, but our embrace didn’t. The TV hummed faintly, the credits rolling into a quiet, glowing blue, and yet neither of us moved, content to linger in this stillness.

Her fingers traced over my hands, studying them in the dim light, her thumb brushing against the calluses. “How did your hands get so rough? Did you fight every day or something?” she asked, a soft chuckle escaping her lips.

“After training, yeah,” I replied, a small smile forming as I remembered. “I used to be part of an underground fight ring. It was fucking crazy… I still don’t know why I joined. It was full of middle-aged losers, and we’d just beat each other up, badly, almost every day.”

Ryujin's laughter bubbled up, a sound both amused and surprised. “What the hell? Seriously? Was the owner some big 'Fight Club' fan or something?”

“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. “But there was this weird nostalgic element to it… getting stitches almost on a daily basis, feeling like I was constantly on the edge.”

Her laughter faded into a more thoughtful expression, her brow furrowing slightly as she massaged my hands, now resting on her lap. She slowly turned on my lap, shifting until she was facing me, her gaze searching my face with a mix of amusement and concern. “Gosh. What would you do without me? Look at these scars, and how rough your hands are! How did your face not get nicked?”

I smirked. “Oh, it got nicked. Plenty of times, at first. But a teenager learns pretty quickly among a bunch of 40-year-olds. By the end, no one really wanted to fight me.”

Her eyes softened, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth as she continued to trace the lines of my scars. “Sounds like a mix of ego and insanity,” she teased, but there was an underlying tenderness in her tone.

I leaned back, letting her study me, feeling the weight of her gaze on my skin. “Maybe,” I admitted. “But it made me who I am, for better or worse.”

Ryujin shook her head, still smiling, and then leaned in, pressing her forehead to mine. “You're a little crazy, you know that?”

“Is that a compliment?” I asked, my voice low, teasing.

She laughed softly. “It’s an observation. But… yeah, I guess it is. You pretend like you don’t need anyone, but here you are, with me, letting me hold you like this.”

I felt a warmth spread through my chest, her words sinking in deeper than I’d expected. I tilted her chin up, meeting her eyes. “Maybe you just have a way of breaking through,” I said, brushing my thumb over her cheek.

Her cheeks flushed slightly, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she settled closer, her hands resting on my shoulders now, her body melting into mine as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Maybe… or maybe you just needed someone to see you,” she whispered, her voice soft but certain.

I didn’t reply right away, just let my fingers move to her hair, tangling in the soft strands as I held her close. I felt her relax, her body going pliant against me, and there was a peace in that moment, something that felt unspoken but deeply understood. 

A slow movement between each other occurred, and a slow kiss formed out of it all. A passionate, an unendingly lovely kiss, a kiss that could only be shared by two lovers. I reached deeper, my head moving forward deeper into the kiss, trying to get more out of Ryujin, her taste, her beauty. I slowly stood up, with her still on my body, I held her up with my arms around her waist while still sharing a passionate kiss. 

How could a girl be this lovely? Holy shit.

I quickly plant her on the leather couch, a black luxury couch too expensive for a single man, but a perfect frame for the most beautiful girl in the world. She laid on the couch, motioning for me to join her, in laying, in loving. The next seconds were a haze, the warmth of a kiss being shared, her soft bosom pressed up against me, The warmth shared by two bodies aggressively pressing each other to get more out of each other.

My left hand went from her waist to her breast, gripping firmly against the soft of her clothes, the soft of her breast. She mewled in my mouth, taking quick breaths trying to continue the kiss as long as possible, unbearably aroused by my body.

I quickly pulled away, she was irritated, I quickly took off my button-up, more like ripping it apart, buttons everywhere. That didn’t matter at all, we quickly continued our session, she softly rubbed her hands all over my back as I kissed into her. 

Then, clothes flew off each moment, and a kiss shared in each layer, and a mess on the floor. Her creamy-white skin caved at my touch, the slight ripple of her semi-abs visible as I greedily took more of her. Finally, her bra came off, the perfectly pink nipples were visible, and completely rigid. The kiss transitioned as my mouth traced over her body down to her breast.

I sucked lightly, fingering at her other nipple. Her loud moans and body ripples only inspired greater performance, I felt a slight tug when I felt her fingers around my hair and she seemed to be moaning louder.

I nibbled at her nipple, kissed the white skin around the nipple, which compressed at the slightest touch. It was almost heaven, a girl who gave me her virginity, a girl who is witty, smart, and loving. 

After enough teasing of her nipples, she began to be more reactive, perhaps signalling that it’s turned into pain rather than pleasure. So I stopped, caressing the pads of my fingers along her body, her curves, her identity, all the way down to her thighs where my thumbs hooked on her panties that were damp. 

“You must be excited.” I teased.

“Ah… please I’m so wet, you kept teasing my nipples you bastar- Ah!” I slipped a finger inside her, interrupting her, amusing myself in her arousal.

I took the finger out, it glistened even in the warm light.

“Open your mouth.” I demanded.

She complied, with her mouth open, I inserted the glistening finger inside her, “Tastes good?”.

“So Gooth-.” She replied with my finger still in her mouth. A slight vibration, a fiercely erotic sign, a sign that she was so stimulated that her body was vibrating as a coping mechanism after realizing other ways of coping with it were futile. 

I took out the finger out of her tender, warm mouth, with a trace of saliva still on my finger, I slowly tracked down her body, the shine of her saliva following suit, the rise of her breasts, the drop to her ribs, the softness of her belly no, abdomen, it would be an insult to call it a belly, it was the perfect midriff. The quiver getting more intense as the tip of my finger slowly approaching her pussy.

I pulled off my hands off her body quickly, and hastily set to pull off my belt; suddenly, Ryujin laid her hands on my belt, showing that she wanted to take it off, that she wanted to see my cock entirely of her own volition. Slowly, making sure that whenever her hands were not occupied with taking off my belt and undergarments, she grazed my abdomen with her fingers any chance that she got. She was kneeled on the couch, crouched over, I was kneeled up straight, and she took her time enjoying the rare opportunity to tease me.

She was entirely naked, and I got to see her back, her beautiful back, one that was crafted through sheer divination by the lords above, there was absolutely no other way to achieve that back, the hourglass shape of her waist and the curve of her hip bones, lord almighty.

I traced the lines of her back with my hands as she finally got down my underwear. Whilst I busied myself with her breasts, now that it was hanging, it was even softer, even more beautiful and absolute euphoria to handle.

A firm grasp disrupted my vivid imagination. “Are you gonna keep teasing my breasts, is it that lovely?” she said with a laugh, slightly firmer on the cloth that barely hid my erection. “Is underwear like this even practical? It looks like it’s a camp site!” Somehow she found some humor in this situation, most likely embarrassed about giving me fellatio. 

Of course, I know the cure. I grasped her hair tightly, the hair that has been diligently grown, perfect to grab tightly and insist on what actions you want. She obliged in the pull, her legs completely folded in obedience, and obliging in the slight pulls and pushes of my hand. 

“Too hard?” I asked.

“I don’t even know why you have to ask.” She replied, with a bright flush in her cheeks, knowing that she likes it and that I know it.

“You’re gonna suck my cock, and you’ll do it diligently; and you’ll get fucked into this couch.”

“Ye- Yes.. please Koji.” She submitted with speech.

I swiftly pulled out my erection, and I leaned into the railing of the couch, inviting Ryujin over. She moved closer, still kneeling, still crouched, and slowly approached my erection. She breathed deeply, getting closer to my dick, and started to stroke it with her hand. The soft coldness of her hands confirmed my suspicion, she was so nervous that all the heat went to her torso, “you don’t have to be so nervous, baby.” She smiled at the remark, and immediately took my dick in her mouth.

She learned so quickly, it was unbelievable, what a virtuoso. She sucked on my length, going halfway with an incredible suction. The pleasure was intense, a sensation of sucking was strong, and I would peak too quickly to enjoy her body. 

“My muse, aren’t you learning a little bit too fast?” I said with a chuckle, gritting my teeth against the pleasure.

She released, still very close to the tip, “it’s so delicious that I had no choice but to learn, and it seems it paid off.” Yes it has, but of course there’s an opposing force every force. Before she could continue sucking me off, I pushed her onto the couch. 

“Should I make you cum in one stroke?” I asked, fully intending to do.

“You wish.” Scoffing at my threat. “I was a virgin then-”

I quickly placed pressure just at the edge of the pubis bone, then the other hand traced the outer lips of her pink pussy. Her solid determination was nearly broken at that moment, a hand placed on her lower abdomen pressing into her was getting her off so well.

And it was a technique that only got more arousing the more it was used. She was a goddess personified and I was disgracing her by almost getting her to cum with light presses and pressure. The fingers that traced the outer lips of her pussy slowly converged on her clit hood, applying almost a graze over it, each graze getting a sizzling inhale from Ryujin. 

“Ah~ fuck, I’m gonna come! I’m gonna come!”

I immediately took off my hands, and I stared at her. “Wha- What are you doing? I was so close.” I didn’t reply, I swung my left hand against her hip bone, a firm slap, as close as you could get to her ass in missionary. 

She yelped, and I covered her mouth with a firm grip, “it would be a disgrace for you cum on my fingers, and even less so without me penetrating you at all.” I leaned into her with a hand still on her mouth, leaving enough room for her to breathe through her nose. I was still quite above her to let her see me entering her, she looked down, as I slowly pressed my member at the heat, prodding, then slowly entering. When I saw that she was not looking down and when she was trying to deal with the pleasure, I quickly took the hand off her mouth and pulled her head forward to make her look as I entered inside. Each inch pain-stakingly slow and purposeful, she stared with pleasure ablaze.

“Princess. I am the only one who understands you.”

That was it, that was the moment she lost it. I immediately entered to the hilt, then pulled out. She spasmed at the intensity, squirting all over the leather couch, screaming and moaning at the pleasure. “Oh my fucking god!” She placed a hand over her head to recover.

The latter minutes were spent with a more furious kind of love, an intense love.

A manner in which I fucked her, with love and embrace. I held her in missionary position, grasping the nape of her neck, sharing our mouths as I repeatedly and fully drew inside her fully. The motions bringing the deep moans of pleasure out in the form of vibrations in her body, and mewls of her mouth.

She loved giving up control in intercourse, it was something that brought her pleasure to no end. To know that she was not in control of her orgasm nor mine, that any second I could pull away and let her mewl in anticipation, and suffer right under the eclipse of her orgasm. However, she loved it more when we shared our arousal, in this position, she could kiss my shoulder, kiss my jaw, caress my back, and even massage my shoulders. Of course, she engaged in these sorts of affection, she couldn’t control it and I could never resist it. The deeper I went, the more her moan hummed against my jaw when she kissed it.

Sometimes I pulled off to maintain eye contact with her, noticing the twists in her eyebrows, the whiskered dimples of her cheeks as she was drawn to climax again. This time though, her legs locked me inside her, she knew that it would take multiple orgasms for her to get me to eclipse, she acknowledged it and was fully intent on it. Of course, the significant height and weight difference didn’t allow Ryujin to maintain much control at all. Instead of the leg lock, I swiftly kneeled up while my dick was still inside her, while she stared expectantly. 

I seized her legs, right above my shoulders, “Oh not again!” She definitely remembered the first time I did this. Then I lowered myself to kiss her, her legs were now placed next to her ears.

“I feel this is my obligation, to train your flexibility.” Still punishing her cunt with my deep strokes inside her

“Oh please-ah! Yo- You just want to fuck my brains out!” She was right.

 I still held her legs as the way they were, but I wanted a fuller picture, a picture where I saw Ryujin enjoying herself to the fullest. I observed the strokes, her cunt glossy with her arousal, I wanted her to enjoy it even more.

From then and there, I placed my hand on the place of her pubis bone, compressing the canal that anticipated my strokes, and a slight thumbing on her clit.

One, euphora

Two, amazing

Three, orgasm

She came again, this time she was allowed no movement, my hands acted as braces that held her down, and she vibrated in pleasure.

She tightened even further, her moans became more guttural as the added pleasures of my hands began to feel more like punishment.

I chuckled, she was such an angel. I released my hands, the hands thus landed on the breasts, the warm pliable breasts with very noticeable aroused nipples.

I had been pumping so quickly and hadn’t realized that I was getting close, I was enjoying her mewls and moans so much that I realized that I might cum this instant. Despite the fact that I finally bought condoms because I kept cumming inside her, I forgot to use it. 

Trying to resist pulling out of Ryujin’s pussy was impossible, it wasn’t ‘almost impossible’ it was plain and simply impossible. And Ryujin definitely felt the twitch my cock, “Please Please Cum inside me! Do it inside me~!”

Finally, I pumped into her one two three times and fell onto her as I filled her with my seed.

“I might actually get pregnant at this rate” she chuckled with her hands getting tangled in my hair

“I don’t even fucking care anymore” I breathed by her side, ear-to-ear.

“Would you like that? A little Koji running around?” She asked.

“I don’t know, what about you?” Genuinely curious about her opinion.

“I think it’s cute to see a little Koji running around, a little Koji that has a happier childhood.”

“I love you” I kissed her lips.

She murmured something against my lips, most likely “I love you” too.

The warmth of the embrace lingered as we finally moved from the couch. The night had drawn on, but the intimacy between us only grew stronger. Ryujin stood up, her hand slipping into mine, and without a word, she led me towards the bathroom.

The bathroom light flickered on, casting a soft glow across the tiles. The shower was already running, steam curling up and filling the small space with a comforting heat. Ryujin turned to me, her eyes gleaming with a mixture of affection and something deeper. She reached up, gently tugging at my hand.

Soon, the warmth of the steam wrapped around us both.

We stepped into the shower together, the hot water cascading over our bodies, washing away the day. Ryujin reached for the soap, her hands lathering it up before gently running it over my chest. Her touch was soft, methodical, as if she was memorizing every inch of me. I closed my eyes, leaning into the sensation, the warmth of her hands, the soothing pressure as she worked the soap across my skin.

I returned the favor, my hands moving slowly, carefully, over her shoulders, down her back, the water rinsing away the suds in gentle streams. She sighed, a sound of pure contentment, as I massaged the tension from her muscles, taking my time, savoring the closeness.

When she turned to face me, her eyes were soft, almost vulnerable. I cupped her face in my hands, letting the water pour over us, and she leaned into my touch, her own hands resting on my waist. For a moment, we just stood there, water pouring over us, our foreheads touching, our breaths mingling in the steam-filled air.

Finally, I leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, and finally her lips—slow, lingering, full of the unspoken things between us. She kissed me back, her hands moving up to tangle in my wet hair, holding me close.

When the kiss broke, we both smiled, a small, shared moment of understanding. I reached for the shower’s knob, turning off the water, the sudden silence almost startling. Ryujin didn’t let go, though. Instead, she wrapped herself around me, resting her head on my chest as the last of the water dripped off us.

“I want to take a bath,” she murmured, her voice soft, almost shy.

I smiled, pressing another kiss to her damp hair. “Let’s do it.”

We stepped out of the shower, toweling off quickly before I started the bath, adjusting the temperature until it was just right. Ryujin watched me, her eyes following my every movement, a small smile playing on her lips. Once the tub was filled, she sank into it with a sigh, the hot water enveloping her.

I settled on a chair that directly faced ryujin still with a towel draped over my lap, watching as she leaned back, closing her eyes, her face relaxing completely. The room was filled with the soft sounds of water lapping against her skin, the scent of lavender from the bath salts mixing with the steam.

“Join me?” she asked, opening her eyes just a sliver, looking up at me with a hopeful expression.

“Don’t even try” I chuckled at the previous time she asked for me to join her in the bath.

With her nestled against the edge of the tub, I reached for the book I had left on the counter, opening it to where we had left off. It was an old copy of "Anna Karenina," the pages slightly yellowed, the spine well-worn from countless readings.

Ryujin sighed contentedly as I began to read aloud, my voice low, resonating in the quiet intimacy of the bathroom.

“‘All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow,’” I read, my fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on my lap. The words seemed to echo in the room, intertwining with the stillness around us. “‘In seeking happiness for others, we find it in ourselves.’”

Ryujin tilted her head back slightly, her eyes closed, her body fully relaxed against mine. “I love hearing you read,” she whispered, her voice almost drowned out by the water, but I caught it, and it warmed me from the inside out.

I continued reading, my voice steady, letting the words flow through the air, wrapping around us both. “‘But every one of these men, straightway from the first minute of their meeting, was seized by an unwonted feeling of respect, as though they had met with something sacred, and in consequence every word and gesture of hers seemed to them more important and significant than they had ever been before.’”

Ryujin’s fingers played idly with mine beneath the water, her thumb brushing against my knuckles as she listened. The words from the book mixed with the rhythm of our breathing, with the warmth of the water and the quiet that enveloped us.

As I read on, the story of Anna Karenina unfolding in the soft light, I could feel Ryujin’s heartbeat, slow and steady, matching mine. The romance of the scene in the book felt distant compared to the reality of her in my arms, this intimate moment we were sharing.

Eventually, I let the book rest on the edge of the tub, my voice trailing off as I pressed a kiss to her damp shoulder. “You know,” I murmured, my lips brushing against her skin, “this might be better than any book.”

She turned slightly in the water, looking up at me with a playful smile. “Only might be?”

I chuckled, leaning down to kiss her, slow and deep, letting the warmth of the bath and the softness of her lips consume me. “Definitely better,” I corrected softly against her mouth.

Ryujin smiled, a content, sleepy smile, and nuzzled back against my chest. We stayed like that for a while, the water gradually cooling around us, but neither of us was in a hurry to move. The book lay forgotten on the edge of the tub as we simply enjoyed the closeness, the feeling of being utterly connected in this quiet, private world we had created together.

P.S: I have the whole prequel ready but the writing quality is a lot worse than this but its 20k words of setup, comment below if you want it.

[biblomaniac]

Supercorp headcanon:

Kara and Lena are both clingy, but in very different ways. Kara is obviously one who seeks and gives physical touch at any available moment. At first, this disturbed Lena. For most of her life, touch meant fear, anger, and revulsion.

Over time and with lots of set backs, Lena becomes adjusted to Kara’s touch and starts to crave it. For someone as touch starved as she is, Lena is still incredibly controlled as she seeks Kara’s comfort. While Lena will rarely initiate even the shortest of hugs, as soon as Kara hugs her, or holds her hand, Lena grasps on and holds tightly until Kara breaks the contact.

This is all well and good until other people start to notice. Once the Superfriends start commenting on their perpetual close proximity, Lena becomes self conscious and refuses to touch Kara. Of course, Kara thought she had upset Lena in some way and almost begs Lena to tell her how she can make up her “transgression.” Lena eventually admits that she was embarrassed of being called out and didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. Kara repeatedly assures Lena no boundary was crossed, and even vehemently encourages the brunette to seek Kara’s physical intimacy.

Here begins the complete and utter downfall of their “friendship” as they know it. Now both women are constantly touching, cuddling, and hugging. They touch so often that it becomes a rarity for them to be apart in any way if they are in the same room. Whether it be a hand at Lena’s back or Kara’s arm, the women are completely inseparable.

It isn’t until Kara starts pulling Lena into her lap at game nights or the bar that Lena begins to question how common it is for best friends to be as connected as they are. By all accounts, it’s not common, but at this point, Lena may go through withdrawals if she dials it back. So she says nothing and enjoys Kara’s intimacy while it lasts.

Once Kara starts kissing Lena’s cheek, forehead, and hand at any possible moment, Lena starts to think something is off about their friendship. The night Kara kisses her on the lips as the watch The Proposal, Lena builds up enough courage to confront Kara.

“What are we doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what are we doing with the hugs, the touching, and now the kissing? Fuck, two days ago we woke up spooning and you haven’t said a word! When are we going to address this—this—”

“Lena.”

“I don’t understand, how can it be normal for friends to—”

“Lena! We aren’t friends. And we haven’t been for a long time...”

Like a record scratching, Lena freezes and just stares. When she comes back to herself, Kara is still talking but it feels like she’s messed a thing or two.

“…we’ve been dating for months, Lena. I thought you would be comfortable with this by now. We can take a step back if you want, but…”

“Dating? What do you mean dating?”

“Lena, what did you think we were doing this whole time? The constant contact, the lunch dates, and sleepovers. You really didn’t think anything of what we’ve been doing?”

Lena realizes that, just maybe, she wasn’t the best judge of what is and isn’t normal in a friendship. She also comes to the conclusion that she doesn’t want any of it to end.

“I..I thought this was normal? I didnt realize you were under the impression that we were dating. It seems that I have been a bit obtuse as to the status of our relationship.”

Kara is almost horrified at their months long miscommunication. The blonde sees no smooth way out of the situation and so begins what could have turned out to be the ramble of the century.

“So what, do we just stop? I’m sorry, I just thought we were taking it slow. Forgive me, if I had known—if I knew…I’m, I’m so sorry Lena, I’ll just go, and we can forget this ever happened—”

“NO!”

“No? Okay, I’ll give you some space—”

“No, Kara. I don’t want space. I don’t want anything to change. I want the dates, and the cuddling, and the kissing, and nights out with our friends. I want everything with you, Kara,” says Lena, as she reaches to grasp Kara face between her hands.

Kara leans into the touch, slowly gravitating closer to where Lena sits on her couch. Even as Kara grows closer, she hesitates to close the final distance between their lips. She couldn’t bear for Lena to dangle this opportunity between them.

“You do, are you sure?”

Lena decides that her next actions will speak louder than any platitudes she could give to Kara. With a push at Kara’s chest guiding her to lean back, Lena crawls into Kara’s lap, grasps Kara by the back of her neck, and leans down to place the slowest, sweetest kiss to Kara’s lips.

Not one to be outdone, Kara trails her hands along the sides of Lena’s thighs and up her back. Her left hand continues up to tangle into Lena’s hair while the right slides down to grasp Lena firmly by the ass.

With a small gasp, Lena deepens the kiss. With a gentle prod of her tongue to Kara’s lips, Lena licks into Kara’s mouth with a skillful tongue. With a groan, Kara separates their kiss.

“So, does this mean you’re my girlfriend?”

The brunette throws her head back in a joyful laugh.

“Yes, darling. I’ll be yours if you promise to be mine.”

Kara’s face lights up in happiness.

**********************

Months have gone by and Kara and Lena are happier than ever. Somehow they have grown closer, and although they have to deal with constant teasing remarks from all their friends, they wouldn’t separate for anything.

[notlhecxzsa]

I'd Marry You With Paper Rings - N.R

Summary: Natasha is many things but a person who knows comfort and care. But, with you, why does it come off naturally? As if, all her life, it is what she was trained to do—to you and only for you. She could feel it on the way home and her friends surely could hear it in the silence, but things happened. Would she still be the greatest warrior in this game of terror and save you or...?

Author's Note: Ahhhh, finally, here we are! 5k words, not proofread (im really sorryyy, i wanted to give it to you quickly since you guys have been bombarding me ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ)

Warnings: simp!natasha, soft!natasha, tooth rotting fluff, happy y/n=happy natasha, ahhh Beefy!natasha, literally the calm before the storm, Y/n having some adult... thoughts about Natasha's hands

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3rd Person's POV:

Natasha was never the one to show sympathy, maybe for her friends who treated her more like a family than her own. They are the boundary between Natasha's humanity and Natasha's out of this world characteristics of a human.

Not that Natasha would care enough if millions of people would see her as a monster—hell she doesn't even care enough about the downfall of hundreds of companies before hers while she makes it to the top.

But, even with all that, it doesn't mean that Natasha doesn't tend to show her once in a blue moon kindness. Not 'show' show, as it is often done through the dark, in the silence of her name being labeled as anonymous. Doing things like donating half of a million to different charities—giving extra when it is Christmas.

Even so, Natasha couldn't careless to hear how grateful those people are for her, already being contented when Maria would say that it was already given.

All that only for her to show such care for a girl she was forced to marry—the same girl that caught something inside her she didn't know existed. How could she? When all she's ever known is how to hold a gun? How to fight raw with her trembling body until she passed a test that no teenager should got through? How to not prioritize how she feels?

She's grown to believe that her calloused hands are never meant to hold someone so dearly. For her mouth that ended life after life to never speak with such care and mold with gentleness. For her mind that only craved for revenge and thought of unholy things to and never those comforting words that left her mouth when she spoke to you.

Never believed that her heart could ever feel things that she felt for you.

"Do you want some juice to go with that?" She analyzed you carefully, as if you would break even with just a wrong glare of a pair of eyes.

She reminded herself to make up those words that left her mouth with a certain gentleness—witnessing how you would tensed visibly when she or Maria would speak out of nowhere, especially after what happened 3 days ago.

"N-no... water's good." You spoke quietly, looking at her briefly before you focused on the food again.

Natasha stood up, going to the fridge to get the orange juice that she often sees you pouring yourself with before eating. Also pouring herself one, she brought those two tall glasses on the table, offering you a small smile that she seemed to be wearing oh so often whenever you would look at her.

"T-thank you..." She watched as a certain light sparked in your eyes, almost the same one she found herself yearning to get a glimpse of again.

Clearing her throat, Natasha was close to feeling embarrassed with how long she set her gaze on you, turning back on her food once again. "Maria bought some fresh fruits earlier, you can just get some in the fridge if you would want." She said before taking a bite of the rotisserie chicken you made.

Even with all your energy seemed to be wiped off of the face of the earth, you still managed to give her the best of your cooking and never failed to make her stomach grumbled in happiness. Natasha could swear that all the foods you make is enough to make her work non stop without being tired, but she would never tell anyone that.

Even if the foods you make are against her diet and workout routine.

But, then again, she would never ever tell a soul about that.

Natasha saw in her peripheral vision how you only nodded, a very small tight lip smile—almost invisible, stretch its way out of your face, but still, Natasha could clearly see that.

Inhaling a bunch of air quietly, Natasha shook her thoughts away and decided to eat in silence once again. "Mr. Clint and the others... when will they come here?" Natasha heard you asked quietly.

"Oh... I don't know..." Natasha answered, gazing up to your face only to notice how you shoulder deflated. "It's been so busy in the company, but I'm sure they'll come visit soon." She almost cringed with how she rushed to add that answer, but felt a wave of contentment when she saw you nodded.

Having small conversations with Natasha seemed to become easier these past few days, and you are more than happier to entertain it while it lasts. Pushing aside your shyness, taking advantage of every seconds talking with her.

Silence once again covered the atmosphere before she heard you clear your throat and started to talk. "W-when are we getting married?" A question that never left your mind ever since you got there, having no idea what no idea what will even happen.

Or how things will happen. It felt right to ask that—to talk to Natasha about the barely spoken matrimony that will be happening to the both of you, or what you thought to be happening.

Natasha stopped moving, it felt as if her blood also stopped flowing. What Yelena said came rushing inside her head, feelings and emotions came clashing with each other in just a mere split of a second.

You didn't know. You never knew.

"Uh..." Natasha started speaking, not wanting her silence to bring more questions inside your naive mind. Remembering how she sometimes treated you so low just because of the forced marriage that came upon her door. You are more of the victim than she was in this. "My parents... and yours, are still working on it." She offered you a glance, not knowing if she's trying to reassure herself you're believing her.

You slowly nodded, looking at her in the eyes. "Hmm, okay... we just... haven't really talked about it... and I- I mean, I..." You slowly looked down, as if it makes you feel embarrassed to admit what you were about to say. "I just wanted to... uhm, know more..." Looking at her through your eyelashes, the same look that makes Natasha's heart wince with something she would never dare to name what.

Natasha nodded, not knowing anymore what to say. She is a woman full of words, knowledge and everything.

Shame on her parents for giving her the only person who could bring her to her knees, but that would be something that Natasha will never let herself admit, even to herself.

She just knows that she will think of something about the case of your marriage. Something that doesn't involve disappointing you more than you might already have.

Thinking of an escape, she inhaled, remembering the question she wanted to ask ever since she watched you too long while you were gazing out in the balcony. "Would you like to get out of here?" Your gaze snapped up at her, your eyebrows raised in an adorable manner—well, Natasha thought so.

"Go...? Out?" You asked as if in disbelief.

You've never be out of this huge penthouse ever since you step a foot in here—not like you weren't also caged back in Hawaii.

"Yeah..." Natasha answered, cutting herself a piece of the chicken as if she just asked something casual. For othe first time, she was gonna take you out. Not like how she felt when she saw you longingly look out in the window. "You know... mall? or, wherever you want to go."

It made you feel giddy, having to finaly roam the place you only gaze at on the big windows and spacious balcony that Natasha has inside the penthouse. "Yes." Natasha could hear the visible high pitched tone in your voice, making her heart swell hearing a certain joy in your voice.

Looking into your eyes, you're surprised to see how a small smile could reach her green eyes. "Would you like to go out today?" Your mouth was agaped, looking at the clock.

"N-now?" You asked, hesitating. As if you're not believing what she was saying.

"Yeah, I mean, if you're in the mood. But, if you're not, I'm sure I can settle my busy schedule for you." Oh how she would do anything to spend time with you—what she would do to give you everything.

Perking up, you dismissed her offer, your hands clasping together in front of you as if you're pleading to her. "No!" Her small smile slowly stretched widely. "We can go now, Natty!" If you were both in a cartoon show now, the way her ears perked up at the nickname would be visble, almost as visble as the flush spreading from her neck up to her cheeks.

You didn't seem to mind the adorable nickname you've just given her, she thought. So, she kept it behind her thoughts, noting to deal with it later—when you're out of sight.

"Are you sure?" She said, slowly taking a bit of the food, as if it was to hide her smirk.

You head shook up and down, Natasha couls see how tight you're gripping the utensils beside your plate like a chile. How you're trying to suppress a huge smile she wished she could force out of you. "Yes... yes, Natty."

God, shame on her parents for giving her the only person who could bring her to her knees—who could make her do impossible things.

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Natasha glanced at the back of your head for the nth time, only to avert her gaze on the road. Not sure if it was because of the fear of getting caught or the new rule she made earlier. Always keep you safe.

"There's a park near at the 2nd stoplight ahead..." She started, her pointed gaze staying on the road but she could see how you turned to look at her. Did she forced herself not to gaze back into your awaiting eyes that sparkles as if she held the stars in the sky? "But, there's also a Mall a few blocks away from it with an amusement park behind it. Many options are laid out everywhere, where would you like to go?"

As she explained, her tone was surprisingly soft. Not the one she would use to her people—not even the one she would use to her friends and especially to her family.

"I-I don't... Where do you want to go?" She heard you say, as if scared to make a decision. A decision that's big. There was a certain edge in your tone, but she could hear it from the tip of your tounge.

She had seen your eyes that big ferris wheel from her balcony, always facing the way towards it as if your biggest wish is too touch it from miles away.

She turned to look you in the eyes, taking advantage of the red lights stopping the motions of the flowing cars. Your hair was down, a spectacle hanging on the arch of your nose, since you were having a headache earlier as you said, saying it just might be your visionary problems, she watched as you put it on.

"You choose, detka. I promise, I'm fine with wherever you want to go, yeah?" She said ever so gently before reaching out to pat your head, as if you were some child.

Natasha is good with so many things, really, but not when it comes to physical touch. Only knowing how to knock out people with a punch and kill with a gun.

She watched as you look down and fumbled the ends of your blue dress, that fits oh so perfectly well with your body, hugging all its curve. It took her all the will power she has to not check you out and make it weird with hwo long she was staring earlier. Only if you knew what you do to her.

She averted her gaze when her eyes catch a couple of faint bruises that seems to be healing already. It kept her awake at night wondering what your body has been through for the bruises to stay for that long.

She was surprisingly happy when she saw you wore a dress, even with the cardigan on top that you forgot to wear earlier, giving her a chance to see you. Clearly, Natasha would rather for you to take it off, but she found herself prioritizing you as her heart ached seeing you fumble the cardigan, fastening it around you.

Whatever you're comfortable with. She thought.

She caught herself staring at your lips a little too long before averting her eyes and inahling deeply, making sure she's quiet while doing so.

"How about we go to the park first? After that, we can eat at the mall and if you would like to buy something, we can do that also?" She caught in her peripheral vision how you snapped your head towards her, making her turn to you once again, hoping for time to slow down. "Then after that, we can go around the amusement park and do whatever you want?" She watched as you took in everything she said, with that same expression you always wear whenever she's talking.

The same one that makes Natasha feel so seen... and heard.

She's a woman of her words, giving people no choice but to listen, obey and watch everything that she does. But with you, it feels different.

You nodded, giving her a small shy smile before settling your hands on your lap. "I'd like that."

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Y/n's POV:

Clutching the cardigan in one hand, I hold the melting ice cream in the other that Natalia had bought me. It made me laugh thinking that she might've been reading my mind since I was just looking at the ice cream truck, with so much longingness to get a taste and she insisted on buying the both of us.

We walked side by side, letting her lead me as my eyes trailed everywhere. My heart jumps in happiness at every person I see, every structure that fascinates me, and every joyful moment I witness.

This scenery can't be seen from the balcony at the penthouse—god, how much I wish I could see it from there.

"Here..." Turning to look at her, I saw her wiping the bench with her bare hands for any invisible dirt before standing up straight. "Sit. We could see everything from here and so your feet won't get tired also." She explained, wiping her hand from the back of her pants.

I smiled, suddenly feeling giddy for some reason. She waited until I was seated, taking a seat beside me, unconsciously making me get a whiff of her expensive perfume that I grew accustomed to. I could smell it everywhere in the penthouse, making it weirdly feel more... comfortable.

"Thank you, Natalia." I mumbled, looking at her even though she just kept her gaze towards the scenery in front of us, only nodding as she ate her ice cream that is almost finished already. I haven't even eaten mine halfway!

I rummage through my small sling bag, taking out a hand sanitizer and bumping it to her biceps that are finding inside a black polo that she paired with some slacks. "Your hands are dirty, you shouldn't have wiped the seat." I murmured, catching her gaze for a moment before taking the sanitizer.

I took her ice cream so she could use both of her hands. "Oh, thanks." I heard her say almost inaudibly and she went on to sanitize her hands. "You could've gotten dirt on your dress, detka. It's light." She said, and I only shrugged, nodding as I watched her hands while licking the ice cream.

Even her hands looked so expensive. I found myself staring at it for too long, feeling something I've never felt before. I bet it would be larger than mine. The veins around it are visible, but it didn't change how... cool I see it.

"You have beautiful hands, Natalia." I blurted out, offering her a small smile as I showed my adoration.

I caught a glimpse of her throat's movement of swallowing, as her gaze snapped to mind. She didn't smile but kept her lips in a tight line and nodded a little. She's the one who put the sanitizer back in my bag before taking her ice cream as I lick mine, catching her eyes sticking to the movements I made before looking back towards the scenery in front of us.

I did the same, minding how she cleared her throat a couple of times and the way her shoulder moved as she inhaled deeply.

"Do you often go here?" I asked, and her head moved to the side, not meeting my gaze but a sign that she listened to me and is paying attention.

I watched as she shook her head. "Hmm, no. It's my first time here. I just passed by the same road on the way here very often." Narrowing my eyes, I was surprised.

"What? Really?" If I lived here before, this would be my favorite place! There's a breathtaking fountain in the middle, trees surrounding the area that provides fresh air, food truck vendors littering almost everywhere. "I'd go here everyday, that's for sure." Giggling a little, I stared at my ice cream, looking at the certain side that is already melting and licking it all the way up, tilting my head to the side as I did so.

While doing that, I caught Natalia's gaze since her head is still facing sideways. Once again, her eyes stick to the movements I made before she looked away as if my gaze shot laser beams at her face.

Clearing her throat once again, she answered, "You like it that much?" She said, already finishing off the cone.

I nodded even though she couldn't see me with a smile playing on my face. "I love it." I said with a certain enthusiasm that I made sure she heard.

Her head moved in satisfaction. "Good."

"Why do you not come here?" I asked further, checking if I'm not annoying her with my questions.

"Hmm, not the... kind of places I like to go to." She confessed and I slowly nodded, jumping in to reply.

"We could go now if you would like." I offered, watching the side of her face.

I found myself almost insecure with how well defined her face is, her nose is so perfect and how her lashes seemed to be so well cut even though it's so full.

Her eyes met mine, only then did I realize how intently I was staring at her. My gaze fell down on her lips that looked as soft as the clouds to avoid her eyes. "No—I mean, it's fine... I'm enjoying it." She gave me a smile that warms my heart, it felt like I was hugging Tamtam.

Nodding with a content smile on my face, I caught how her gaze on me softened a little more before I looked back at the scenery and finished my ice cream.

I am loving this day more and more!

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I felt a hand circling around my waist as we walked inside the mall—a very huge one, and seemed to be so expensive. There are a lot of luxurious brands around that I have seen my Mom and Dad have back at home. There were a lot of guards more than usual when we entered the place, but it seems like it was normally like that as Natalia guided me inside.

There's so many people, but it's not crowded either. It doesn't look like the malls that Lucy would take me to. It could not be an ordinary mall.

"Would you like to buy something? Or should we eat first, hmm?" Turning to look back at Natalia who was looking around the area, only then did I realize how close she is to me, but I didn't make a big fuss about it—finding it rather... comforting.

"I-I..." Looking around, I caught a glimpse of restaurants that seemed to be very expensive too. Well dressed people going in and out, walking past us. "I don't know, Natty..." My attention is getting everything and capturing everything.

Not used to going out and being with so many people in foreign places is not something that felt comforting to me, though it is not bad either. Things just tend to... overwhelmed me.

"Okay, how about we eat first hmm? Then we can go buy whatever you want." I felt a hand tucking the strands of my hair behind my ear, out of my face making me look back at the owner of the same calloused hand.

She's smiling down at me, urging me to make a decision but doesn't make me feel pressured at the same time. "I'd like that, Natty." I said, grinning up at her as I clutched her hand.

"Okay then, come on, detka. I have a favorite restaurant around here, you'll like it." We started walking as she pulled her hand away from mine but kept her other hand around my waist, keeping me close.

"Oh, you go here a lot?" I asked, looking up at her.

Without returning my questioning gaze, she answered. "I own the Mall."

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"Ms. Romanoff."

"Good afternoon, Madam."

"Great to see you again, Ms. Romanoff."

Greetings after greetings from people from the restaurant and until now in a very big shopping area where she lead me. I smiled through it all even though I haven't heard them saying my name, noticing as Natalia did not even seem to acknowledge all of it, only nodding in the air.

"You pick whatever you want, alright?" She said to me, leaning down as her hands stayed put around my waist, as if whispering a secret. "Here..." She turned and pulled out a cart that was behind here.

"I-I..." Looking up at her hesitantly. "I don't think I need anything." It took her a moment to respond, looking at me with what seemed to be an amusement or surprised in her eyes.

It is true. I don't think I need anything. I have clothes. I brought a couple of my outside bags and shoes.

"It's..." She trailed off, making me look at her confusedly before she turned and motioned a person to come. They started talking, so I took the chance to wander my gaze around the floor, still staying in her hands that seemed to be glued around me.

There's so many... things in here. I feel like everything can be found here. Bags, alcohol, necessities, clothing, jewelry, I could also see a food shop at the end of a hall—just everything.

There were lots of workers too, buyers going in and out and around.

"...No, I want the best one. Give me the latest one you have..." I overheard Natalia talk but my attention quickly went to a stuffed toy that looked so cute! Oh god, now I missed my stuffies back at home.

I suddenly felt giddy and my hands itched to touch them. Thankfully, I brought my wallet with me and Natalia had insisted on paying for the earlier payments. Maybe I could buy her one too!

I turned to check on her if she's already done talking to the man, as soon as I heard them finishing up the conversation, tha man walked away and I quickly tugged on Natalias arm. "Natty." Her gaze immediately went down to meet mine, her eyebrows narrowing in question. "Can I go over there?" Turning as I point towards the pack of stuffies that comes in different kinds, sizes and colors. "Please?" I added as soon as I look back to her, she was already looking at me with her lips turning upwards on one side—smirking.

"I mean—if it's okay with you—but if not! We can just go and look at some other things." I immediately said, pulling away from her.

Quickly, in return, she took ahold of my hand again. "Come on, detka." The cart on one hand and mine on the other, she tugged me towards it. "Would you like to buy those?" She asked as soon as we got near towards it.

Forgetting to answer, my hand quickly reached out to take a hold of the biggest one in the center before leaning towards it to give it a squeeze. "It's so adorable! It's so fluffy!" I squealed, making sure that only Natalia and I could hear. "Natty!" Calling out as I turned to look at her, "Come! Take a look—hold it, it's so fluffy!" Catching the smile from her face fade quickly as she stood up straight, looking around as soon as I reached my hand out.

"I don't—I don't think..." She sounded hesitant as she continue to look around, as if checking if people are looking at us, but as soon as her gaze met mine, her shoulder relaxed a little and I watch as a small smile stretch its way out of her face.

Taking my hand in hers as she walked slowly, I tugged her until she's just as  close to the stuffy as I am. "Squeeze it! Like this." I hugged the huge brown teddy bear, only to be stopped by a voice.

"Sorry, Miss, but you're not allowed to do that." It was flat and seemed to be upset, looking back I saw one of the worker here. She was looking at me with one of her eyebrows raised as her gaze trailed up and down my figure.

Quickly pulling away, I bowed my head down. "Oh! I'm-" I was going to start apologizing but Natalia's booming cold voice cut me off.

"Go. We will be buying this, don't worry." The woman stammered as soon as Natalia walked in front of me, putting her hands around my shoulder.

The woman stammered the apologies that slipped her mouth, walking away quickly after finishing. "N-Natty, I-I'm really sorry, I didn't know-" With my heart almost beating its way out if my chest, thinking that Natalia might have been so disappointed at my actions.

"Hey, hey, stop with those. Touch everything you wanna touch, try everything you want, don't mind them, alright?" I coyly looked up to her, my hands wringing together in hesitation.

"Come on now, pick what else you might like, okay? I'll get this delivered in the penthouse, I don't think it will fit with us in the car." Her small laugh made my smile, before I frowned.

"Wait, how much is this?—" Again, I was cut off.

"Something you shouldn't be worried about, baby." With that, she called a new worker and started discussing about the delivery transaction, leaving me gazing at her.

"Now, what else would you like?"

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~

Natasha's POV:

"What- What is this?" Stopping my movements to start the car, I looked down to Y/n's outstretched hands with what seemed to be a wallet in her hold.

"You didn't let me pay..." She turned her head down, as if scared to meet my gaze. "I wanted to buy you those other stuffies earlier. Here, take my wallet and take how much it costs or... or... oh, also the other things that you got me from the store. It was so many and expensive, it might've cost you a lot." Looking back to me, she forced the wallet into my chest as I gaze at her in disbelief, smirking as I did so.

This girl never fails to surprise me. Chuckling, an idea came up to me.

Taking a hold of her arm, I took her wallet. "Those numbers comes back to my bank account every minute, darling. But... I'll take this." Her eyes widened a little as I put her pink wallet inside my blazer.

"Oh- a-all of it?" She asked, and I start the car.

"Yeah... all of it." Smiling at her as I pressed a kiss on the back of her hand, holding it on her lap.

The blush on her face didn't go unnoticed as I smiled, gazing towards the way.

"O-okay..." She settled down on her seat, both of her hands holding mine.

"Are you tired already, solnechnyy svet?" I could feel her confused gaze burning holes into the side of my head but I didn't bother explaining what the word meant just as she didn't bother asking what it is.

"Not really, no." I heard her say as she leaned back to the seat, gazing back at the road where the city lights laid out before us.

Looking towards her, catching a glimpse of how the lights reflected over her face. I could feel myself breaking a smile, which I let on, going back to looking at the road.

"Are you sure, detka?" I asked once more, my tone playful.

"I just want to rest already, but not yet sleepy." She explained, her voice soothing my ear.

"Hmmm." I hummed in acknowledgement. "Not yet sleepy. Alright, princess." I added, turning the wheel around the corner.

I felt a tug on my arm before she started speaking. "Can we watch a movie later?- I mean, only if-if you're not tired... but also if uhm- if you would like to. But, it's fine if you won't." Gazing back at her face, I reached my hand to caress the side of her face on the skin that I could reach for a few second, calming her down.

"We could do that, I'll cut more fruit for you for snack. I don't think Maria got us some popcorn." Before turning away, I catched how she perked up, making me smile unconsciously as my heart seemed to jump, which I ignored.

"That's awesome, Natty!" She said in delight. "I would really love that."

I have felt that killing people who deserved it is fulfilling. Watching companies and people burn down as they tried to pick up a fight with me brings the spark of happiness and contentment to my insides.

And, I never knew there will be much more greater things than that.

Now, I found out, only a voice is enough to explode such a thing inside me.

Enough to make me feel as if I'm on top of the world.

°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~°^~

Author's Note: Ahhhh, finally! I apologize for making you all wait, I did see the multiples of asks that have been sent to me, I didn't have enough energy to answer them, I'm really sorry. I was sick for days, but I'm doing a lot better now! I also got the next chapter on the works already, and I'm sorry in advance for it 乁⁠༼⁠☯⁠‿⁠☯⁠✿⁠༽⁠ㄏ

[asklesbianonceler]

My Analysis on Count Ymir and Metyr

This is my personal analysis on the lore and plot as a whole, Carians vs other sorcerers, an Ymir character study, a Metyr study, and my take on it in regards to gender and deeper themes and motifs. (From a positive lens)

Blue is for things added later: last updated 8/20

I've made a post on sorcerers and their downfalls prior to this and it is still extremely important to look at the differences between sorcerers who go too far like Sellen, Azur, Lusat, and graven masses as a whole vs Ymir. Because Ymir is most closely related to Rennala, literally and narratively. They are both Carians and experience "corruption" via a similar outlet.

Sellen, and the others who looked into the primeval current, only craved knowledge. They were far more detached from the beauty and divinity of everything around them and aimed to know too much. Graven masses are students who go too far. Even Thopps somehow dies from studying too hard. This happens because of their own actions. We don't kill or fight them.

There's one thing that is consistent with all Carians. Their downfall is their hearts. Ranni makes this so clear with her poorly veiled attempts at avoiding attachment with our tarnished. She tells us to tell Blaidd and Iji how much she loves them. She is detached because she knows she must be but she is terrible at hiding that she still has a heart. Rennala was consumed with grief and loss after the golden order presumably caused her and Marika (Radagon) to miscarry as well as forcing the love of her life away from her. She also loses all of her children to their own ambitions (they move out and do their own thing) Regardless, she is a husk because of love. Rellana abandoned her home to chase after love which was likely unrequited and still she forged swords of matrimony that she wields alone until her death, ever loyal to protecting the man she fell for. Rennala understood Relanna was chasing what her heart desired and sanctioned it. This is just a known fact about Carians. They get it. Their downfall is not knowledge but succumbing to love.

We know that prior to his involvement with finger sorceries Ymir was far more of a romantic than other sorcerers. Beloved Stardust's description is from a recitation he gave as a teacher to the Carians and it states that "One need only envision the romance of the stars above with adoration for stardust in one's heart to become a greater sorcerer. Do so, and you will know love."

He tells us it's only natural to want power and the truth but to no extent is this like Sellen's quest. He is not asking us to enable him like she is. Yes, he moved on from his studying of the moon, but it was not the same way she did. She wants to unravel it all and lay it bare, pick it apart. She is also driven to understand the elden ring which is very golden order centric. (want to be clear. I love Sellen)

She wants to dissect the life in the stars. Ymir wants to appreciate it's beauty. It is a clear clinical vs whimsical, both to negative extent. Sellian vs Carian.

We have no way of knowing his history in the lands between. He looks extremely similar to the figure on the Carian inverted statue and also has ties to Miriam, but that's all we can know for a fact. We also know for a fact that there are fingercreepers in both the gardens of Caria Manor and the flipped elevator of the Carian Study Hall.

I saw someone suggest recently that these were here as original assassins of the greater will to thwart Ranni back when the Greater Will still spoke to Metyr. I do like this. I believe the fingers were there for a very long time trying to accomplish something. Further I would suggest this is where Ymir first began to question them as he was no doubt in at least one of these Carian locations pre move to the Lands of Shadow.

We also don't know his early history in the lands of shadow aside from him teaching Rellana which he likely also did in the Lands Between. It seems clear Rellana brought a few Carians with her (the handful of white robed sorcerers, Moonthryll, and her teacher Ymir)

But we can come to two possible ideas from Manus Metyr and both give us a similar end point.

A. he had his own family and a child named Yuri who died very young and was buried in the graveyard, perhaps the only family he brought with him when he left everything and moved there.

B. Yuri was always just the fingercreeper and the fact that we can read the grave pre-quest is A an error. (odd but still completely possible) Or B this implies he has been continuously trying to birth the same fingercreeper over and over. The original fingercreeper child, Yuri, that he came to love dearly that never lived long being the main grave and the others all potentially being the additional failed attempts

Later on, during his research into the fingercreepers/two fingers he learns everything he knows in present day Elden Ring, becoming a high priest of Metyr and learning many of her spells. It is also during this time that he seems to beg Metyr/The Greater Will, to allow himself to birth fingers of his own.

This can be interpreted two ways as well. And we'll go in order from our last A and Bs.

A. He loses his only child in the land of shadow and is aware of Metyrs abilities. The GW (Or Metyr?) takes pity on him and shares power with him, allowing him to birth the fingercreeper Yuri. It is up for interpretation whether Yuri actually has the soul of his lost child in it or if Ymir is just so thankful for this new child that he projects his dead son onto him. I don't think there's any emotional distinction here.

B. He wishes to become the new envoy of the greater will from the start and is given one singular child, or just one child who lives, again, likely out of the desire for connection, pity, or perhaps pettiness of Metyr. (i'll come back to this in terms of Metyr giving him power). Through this he inevitably comes to love Yuri because obviously he is going to love his first child more than life itself.

As i said, the end point is the same. He is a Carian. He loves too fiercely. His original goals are pushed aside by the love he has for Yuri. In private he only talks about Yuri. He doesn't muse on and on about clinical knowledge or his desire to replace a god. He does not speak with any hint of madness, just utter devotion that I could see being seen as unhealthy. (i don't interpret it this way at this point but i get it. Just remember he is someone who is nearly completely alone in the land of shadow who has potentially experienced loss of severe magnitude before)

I also think that what we overhear at Yuri's grave sounds completely normal for grief. He wishes to be left alone and when he talks to Yuri he talks about only wanting to be his mother. He laments failing and promises to try again for him. This also lends to the idea that he believes there is a singular soul being moved around.

He only talks about Yuri. He isn't talking about replacing Metry and these are his most private thoughts.

I have seen theories that suggest he did not birth Yuri himself and perhaps stole him. His dialogue in private heavily implies he birthed him himself. As well as his unaltered robes which say they conceal an abundance of squirming beneath. So he had those fingers under there the whole time, definitely not as large and efficient as the ones during his boss fight, but they were there... and they were functioning.

I also don't think he ever comes off as this delusional? that might just be me but everything he says and everything Jolán says about him contradicts this. If there's any delusion it's the denial that comes with grief where he could believe his child's soul is in the baby fingercreeper.

But back to his quest- when we meet him he knows that the fingers that told Marika what to do were corrupt because Metyr is corrupt. He is exclusively blaming Metyr for this source of sickness. (this is an instance of him being a not fully educated narrator. He is slightly right, but needs to go further, a further we only learn from item descriptions where we learn the GW no longer wants a finger mother* i'll get back to this. But also THIS IS SO IMPORTANT WE LITERALLY LEARN THAT THE LANDS BETWEEN LOST THE PLOT AND THE FINGERS AND ANY ENDING THAT FOLLOWS THEM IS WRONG)

I believe at this point he thinks he birthed Yuri through the powers of the greater will and himself exclusively. I don't think he believes Metyr was involved because he knows Metyr is sick. He thinks the GW still wants a finger mother to send new messages.

We do his quest, we bind ourselves to our fate in the stars and of course that fate leads us to slay another remembrance boss. We need to clean up all the failed ideas of the GW so they aren't sticking around and causing trouble. Classic tarnished shit. iykyk.

EDIT: there is dialogue I missed and it seems dialogue a lot of people missed. If you talk to him after fighting Anna but before Metyr he asks you if you saw something down there, referring to Metyr. He tells you to remove it and any misconceptions from your mind lest it bring woe upon the both of you. (This is paraphrasing I don't completely remember the exact wording rn but it's essentially this). He doesn't want you to mess with Metyr. He has his own plans. He knows something bad will happen and he tells you to forget about her.

So why is Ymir hurt by you fighting Metyr even though the quest lead you hear? Irreparably hurt even? (1 and 2 can exist together still. they are not exclusively one or the other)

He had pushed aside this loftier goal and was still grieving for Yuri and only wanted to be his mother. The mother of one child. (To me that feels like it isn't taking it far enough. I do think he firmly believes he can do it better still. He hasn't realized the full truth. I just don't think this is at the forefront of his mind at this moment. He still wants to be The mother. His high opinion of himself makes it clear he believes he can do this)

He did not know that the GW had no need for Metyr any longer and that she had been broken and abandoned. He merely thought she was corrupted. So when he is possessed BY Metyr this is awful. He wanted to be a new mother. Not the same one.

GOES WITH MY PREVIOUS ADD ON: he may be aware he is using Metyr as a power source and believes killing her will affect him negatively. It is unclear if he knows the type or extent. Perhaps believing it will take away his power or perhaps aware it could be too much for him. He is also learning from her, so her untimely death would also be bad simply for this reason.

Okay now it's time for me to talk about Metyr in greater detail

The Staff of the Great Beyond says Metyr was broken and abandoned but still kept waiting for messages. This is also what the spell fleeting microcosm says which is likely referring to both Ymir and Metyr at this point since it is a spell that can be purchased from him as well as one Metyr uses, going on to say "The broken and discarded are fully willing to cling to fleeting simulacra, earning them some modicum of sympathy" He is a clearly broken person who thought he was grasping the GW's truth but wasn't and Metyr was clinging to her old life hoping for it to come back and for her to have purpose again despite being abandoned by her own mother. Metyr is unique and incredibly complicated which is interesting because her closest equivalent is the Elden Beast and other falling stars. Her items make it clear she had complex feelings- anger, grief, loneliness, resentment, loyalty. She WAS the magnificent gleaming daughter of the Greater Will. She was once loved and she knows that. Her other remembrance weapon is called Gazing Finger, but it's the name of its move that tells us the most about her. Kowtower's Resentment. She showed unwavering respect to the GW but she grew to resent it. We learn so much about her that only further ties into the overall themes of motherhood in Elden Ring. Imagine how Metyr must feel. Aside from the brewing hate inside her caused by the GW directly TOO her she is also forced to watch her children either grow increasingly more and more corrupt over time or slain. She knows her children aren't going into the world to be loved any longer. She knows she's sending them off to a terrible fate and still she must do it. Her children are purposeless. When we tie our fate to the stars- the great cosmic will- the new plan, it brings us there and it prompts us to kill Metyr and clean up its loose ends. But instead of letting herself be killed outright or leaving the lands between/shadow, she goes somewhere else because she is angry. She wants to be loved and needed. She is desperate to receive messages again. She wants to prove herself. We can say for certain that it is Metyr that possess Ymir in our fight because the GW has no desire to make a new mother of fingers and Metyr had already been lending him her power. There is only one and we clearly don't kill all of her at first. Is this her last effort to best the GW or merely her defiance to continue on living? Waiting to be of use again? Alas, we kill Ymir as well. ALSO- just mentioned Metyr to my wife and she said "Yeah Metyr is so similar to Messmer" and I literally said OH FUCK. YEAH! So let's touch on that: Both of them are abandoned by their mother, trapped somewhere, enacting her original design, spreading her original message all while never hearing from her ever again and still remaining fiercely loyal to the end.

Now back to Ymir and Metyr

Was Metyr sharing her powers with him out of loneliness or spite or simply curiosity?

It's definitely something that's up for personal interpretation because I don't believe these are spells just anyone can use or learn. The simple glintstone nail spells even say Ymir thinks they are "child's play" but fleeting microcosm and Cherishiny fingers are very different. The nail spells are ones others may be able to learn but the other two are unique to finger mothers. Also the act of birthing fingers is not a spell. It's Metyrs own unique ability and purpose- so clearly Metyrs power directly from her.

Did she long to be understood? To share what she was going through with someone else? Was she trying to show him that it wasn't her that was broken?

Did she resent him for blaming her and studying her? Or did she herself think she was to blame? Did she share her grief with him out of spite? Making him too experience loss via Yuri?

Or did she also have a bit of hope that maybe through a new vessel she would be seen again by the GW? Maybe her children wouldn't be cursed.

She certainly shared quite a lot with Ymir for it to be out of spite and their items and spells mimicking each other in descriptions really makes it feel like she wanted him to understand her. Both of their staffs show a microcosm but receive no answer. She lets him birth her children.

And Yuri is clearly aware of this. He's likely never seen Metyr but still has nightmares about her. Ymir telling him to "put that tangled mess out of his mind" He's torn quite literally about his origins. Ymir is his mother but Metyr is a presence he is aware of and in unfamiliar with to the point of fear. Perhaps this is what brings about his early death- that incomplete or splintered origin.

On to Ymir boss fight speculation/ theory

We have our ideas on why Ymir was hurt and upset by us fighting Metyr. Him taking on her corruption and learning GW truths as well as his own grief already being too forefront. But I wonder if when Metyr possessed Ymir he took on her grief and loneliness as well. Would he be able to cope with her literal cosmic scale of loss and heartache? Being misunderstood? Being abandoned by her own mother? I think it's a really interesting foil to have Sellen and co. destroyed and driven to insanity by knowledge and Ymir driven to insanity by grief and love. It makes the tear streaked makeup on his boss model hit a lot harder that way and feel far more intentional as tears which is what the dripping black really evokes (despite is being part of the tattoo category of character creation which is definitely just character creator limitation)

When we fight Ymir he also has a really effective voice inflection change as well. Props to his voice actor for almost making him sound completely different and just gone.

But yeah it feels clear that his fight is the built up madness of both him and Metyr's greatest desires manifested. They're consumed by loss and anger and a desire to be wanted and seen in the eyes of the greater will. They both want to receive messages and be The Mother.

Then we get his normal voice when we kill him where all he can think of is Yuri again and wanting to be his mother. He isn't thinking about being THE mother. Literally just Yuri. What is most important to him. The true Ymir. And of course, it's similar to Rennala's true voice coming through when we beat her, speaking about her beloved daughter, just HER daughter, not the sweetings.

I truly don't think he was as insane or gone as people think he was in nearly the entirety of his quest. and I honestly just think people default to saying "oh he's insane and delusional and freaky" because he is a "man" who is a mother.

okay thank god i can finally get into the gender of all this.

What do we know about Ymir in regards to gender?

Names are intentionally chosen in fromsoft games. Ymir was a norse giant who, though using masculine pronouns, was considered neither male nor female because he could birth children of his own.

He is named after an agender mythological figure who also has a moon named after him.

So we can read into Ymir being agender. He uses masculine pronouns, wears headwear that is strictly feminine, very neutral royal attire (we don't know enough about Carian clothing to have an opinion on the robe, gloves, or pants), a little makeup, and has no hang ups on being able to be a mother.

I, as someone who is nonbinary, have my own unique connection to him as a character that makes me really like this about him. In my brain gender means nothing which separates me from my trans wife where gender and expression mean everything. I have never had a mental connection to gender. I have presented many ways in my life since coming out. My outward appearance does not dictate my relationship to gender nor what I can do. In fact I think about gender very little.

Motherhood not being synonymous with female pronouns here is cool to me as well. it is nice gender non-essentialism.

But if we get into Elden Ring as being about women and the feminine divine as a whole, we can also read into him differently.

I've seen many people tag him as being trans to them! And I like that just as much.

He studies the fingers which are exclusively ruled by women. Metyr is their mother, finger readers are all women, then of course finger maidens. Even further, Metyr is a daughter of the GW. He says we ALL are her children. The GW is the original mother of all things. The creator of all life because she created stardust and to study the stars is to study the life in all things. Nearly all societies in ER are led by women. There is an innate power in womanhood in ER.

He gazed into the stars with adoration in his heart and knew true love. He felt loved amidst that divinity and sought to follow that path for himself. He embraced something that meant everything to him body and soul. He underwent true physical change for it. And with Yuri he was happy.

And of course, as all soulsborne games, it has to be tragic for us to see beauty in it, so he, just like nearly everyone else we know, faces a terrible end because of the fate of our tarnished and the GW's goal. He isn't a villain because he has a unique relationship with gender and it is kinda wild i've seen someone say that.

My additional thought on this is that it feels unnecessarily detailed for his robe description to talk about the ruff that "sparkles like a flower wet with dew" We really only get two other characters specifically connected to flowers and that's Malenia and St.Trina. Both are related to feminine identity, divinity, and true self. Malenia becoming the Scarlet Aeonia, her true form as a goddess, and St. Trina literally being the woman Miquella was meant to become. A literal transition could have saved her narrative.

So yes, I can absolutely see people interpreting Ymir through a trans woman lens as well. I love that different people can identify with this character differently and see parts of themself here and if other people have different takes on this character's gender identity and it making them feel represented, that's great! I just can only talk on my personal take and the discussion i had about him with my wife.

Can I see why people wouldn't like him? Yeah, so long as it isn't based on a lack of knowledge of the plot, items, and dialogue, or based on extreme pre-existing biases. Because I have seen a bad take or two that boil down to this kind of misinformation which is really frustrating.

There is no evidence in the text that he is a bad person. Jolán respects and cares for him immensely. She doesn't reveal to us any actual feelings about Anna and this is all very vague. Yes Anna is a puppet but Nox are the only people we know of that did willingly become puppets. She is also a recusant which is interesting as well. Most invaders are just invaders. Recusants specifically are invaders with a job (recusant fingers only come from Rykard but are snake scaled so potentially also Eiglay? Base Serpent? She may have just served another master). There may also be a reason for this due to game function alone or there may be the narrative reason. We really can't know much about them as they are side, side characters. But them being Nox i think is telling. He was also clearly a very respected Carian sorcerer and was a teacher to Rellana. Textually, he is never portrayed negatively by others nor in his items.

Here are some final add-ons

that i don't want to complicate my earlier jumble with that whether important or not, are worth seeing. I just didn't know where to add them. Also I do not have a final interpretation of these things in the greater context:

An item I would like to touch on as well as an item that goes hand in hand with it (pun intended) is the spell Cherishing Fingers as well as Fingercreeper Ashes. Cherishing Fingers says "The dear fingers look after their mother, or perhaps that is merely what the mother wishes to believe." but Fingercreeper ashes says " They are ever so fond of their mothers at this tender age"

These two items kind of contradict each other, implying the fingers DO care about their mother. But the intentional doubt is interesting. Fingercreeper ashes, as well as Yuri being in his arms really makes it feel like they do care, but perhaps as they grow older they don't? Or this can help drive a "delusional" narrative. But fingercreeper ashes really make it seem like it goes both ways.

Also, Why are the ruins (Miyr) beneath Manus Metyr just an anagram for Ymir? Did he name them that? Did he name himself Ymir? Is it a cool coincidence that he pogged at when he found out? Is it just a random world building choice? This I literally cannot interpret.

I thought of the name change thing and that lead me to investigate every single rise on both maps to see if one could have been his but nothing seems likely. but on to Rabbath's rise

Anna's puppet body is there. Rabbath is a known sorcerer who was a spellmachinist. Being a machinist is very anti everything Ymir does and is into. Is Rabbath the person who designed the marionettes? That is a loose end we don't know the answer to and being a machinist is telling but this is extreme speculation. I saw someone suggest he and Ymir may have been either friends or rivals- both could give potential case for Ymir's puppet being there. Again. JUST speculative interpretations of this because we also do not know enough about Anna either. Rabbath also, like many other Rise owners, doesn't appear to be dead. Some Rises have a gravenmass in them which feels clear was the original owner. But Rabbaths is empty and something different about Rabbath's rise in comparison to most others is that all the candles in his rise are out. I don't know what this means. Why is Anna in a part of his rise that is nearly inaccessible? To me this makes it seem like she’s exclusively there to be kept safe as this place can only be accessed by us on torrent… literally no one else.

I'd like to add some additional, after the fact, thoughts and observations I have no place for as well

In terms of Jolán I’m confident her loyalty to Ymir stems from the Nox’s belief that one day their lord of night will come to them, bringing with them the age of stars and the fate that the Nox had been stripped of after their banishment. She refers to Ymir as her shining star and after he is gone she only sees darkness. I could very well see her believing Ymir is the promised lord of night as he so heavily believes in the fate of the stars and brings stars to her life personally.

But by all accounts the Nox hate the GW and were the ones who created a blade to slay its vassals, which Metyr is one of. Perhaps this is where Jolan and Anna disagreed. Perhaps this is why she is a puppet now. Anna may have stayed true to their beliefs where Jolan instead saw the promised liege and pledged her service to him. Again, anything with Anna is still speculation but it would make sense if she and Anna and the other swordhands of night were initially there for a reason as they are the only Nox in the lands of Shadow and wear fingerprint armor independent of their connection to Ymir. Perhaps the fingerslayer blade was made for Metyr, the source of the GWs words. Perhaps this is the cause of the injury on Metyrs chest. This is something I could get far too into speculation on though. But it is interesting to speculate on as the location of her injury is not somewhere she would have fingers, so likely not Ymir’s doing, and is also a real “going for the kill” location. Again, chew on this one as you will.

Cherishing Fingers: I thought about this A LOT and I wish it was easy for me to fit it into the upper main post. Cherishing Fingers is "one of Ymir's spells" so why isn't it in his bell bearing? We get it not when he dies but after. It isn't dropped with his death loot and it only shows up after we rest and it doesn't show up on his body it shows up at Yuri's grave. And I know you could say "Well characters like Rogiers items are gotten from where we last saw him sitting even though he's gone) but we already got all of Ymir's things. Literally 6 items worth of loot. This is intentionally somewhere else. So two theories. This is not Ymir's final item given to us but Yuris. The fingers no longer have to protect their mother and are no longer trapped in rebirth so they leave behind a spell after they too finally pass on. Theory 2, Ymir, after our fight, chooses to die by Yuri's side, at his child's grave, leaving behind a final spell to remember him by. Regardless there is a reason this spell is separate and special. It's description that can sew doubt, to me, is negated by the positive description on the fingercreeper ashes that confirm they do love their mother. This also being found at a fingercreepers grave is also very telling.

The caged fingercreepers: if you look close and really work your camera, there are a handful of cages only near Ymir's throne that have fingercreepers in them. Are they still alive? Are they in there for their safety or because Ymir thinks differently of them/they aren't as important to him as Yuri? I do not have a final interpretation of this but it's important to note here. I have my wide reaching headcanon about this of course but it isn't something I'm confident presenting the way I present these interpretations.

Ymir’s neck ruff: this is only coming up because I’m writing a full over the top clothing analysis for him, but this one is connected to the lore, not the independent character design choices and it’s actually quite interesting. Aside from its description as a flower, which I mentioned in my gender portion, it also uses the word dew, something that has a specific and loaded meaning in ER and there are a lot of important Dew items. The new item dewgem, being connected to sprites, the dewkissed herba and Celestial Dew from the eternal cities, and Blessed Dew and the icon shield depicting erdtree boons and a divine age. Because dewgem is very hornsent adjacent I'm more inclined to connect it to the latter two types and I think I'd like to connect it to them both at once instead of picking but feel free to side with either. I'm just telling you how I feel. The allusion to celestial dew and glowing like a star, mentioning fate in the night sky, and being the dew of absolution is all interesting and this would be one additional connection to Joláns adoration to him, seeing the resemblance and iconography of her stars on his person. Creating familiarity. His mentioning of redemption and desire to break the cycle of corrupt messages also ties well into the idea of absolution and new beginnings. He is obviously tied to the stars, but the ruff is gold much like the blessed dew items which are described as divine, depicting ideas of eternal prosperity and blessings which paint dew as a concept as something extremely symbolic and sacred. Dew in both forms represent a new age and gifts of that age- one being absolution and fate, the other prosperity and divinity. Ymir believes in all of these things. Unlike the Nox he values the Greater Wills goals and words. He wishes to help bring about a new age, guided by the stars, via the Greater Wills untainted words. So the connection to blessed dew wouldn't be "erdtree good" but moreso how dew was viewed during that time and to those who believed in it. It seems more like a nod to the prosperity possible in a new age with roots that are not tainted and mad. A motif intentionally conveying similar ideas that others already have positive connection to. (You thought that erdtree was good? Imagine a tree that isn't corrupt)

OKAY ANYWAYS THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!! If anyone stuck around for the whole thing I will be truly baffled but thank you if you did! Love Ymir with all my heart! if there are any typos or repetition please understand i really just kept going train of thought style here and its a lot to reread 4 times over to keep double checking as every time i got sidetracked.

[un-lawliet]

— just a small drabble about Gojo sheltering you from the rain :)

It was like you didn’t seem to care.

Walking slightly behind the first years, your arm outstretched, umbrella firm in your grasp as you shielded them from the timid monsoon invading your journey.

Your clothes were slowly soaking up the rain, but you neglected yourself the same protection as you provided to the students.

You clearly didn’t notice how your hands were beginning to tremble, how the cold permeated your being like soaked glove, too focused on praising Nobara for her “Excellent display of leadership” during their last joint mission.

“And don’t think I’m leaving you boys out of this!” You gleefully empathised, glancing up ever so slightly to ensure the umbrella was still covering the three of them, “You’re all really coming along with the whole ‘working as a team’ thing, well done!”

Gojo walked behind, watching you, always watching you, an almost unnoticeable downwards tilt on his lips as your clothes saturated in the downfall.

You were always so caring.

“Yea!” Itadori beamed, his arms flinging over both Nobara and Megumi, pulling them closer. “We do make a great team ay?”

“Under my leadership, of course we do.” Nobara was grinning, her hand subconsciously stroking the brown sac in which her hammer lay, a cheeky look in her eye as she raised her head to look at Yuji.

“I had to point out the curse to stop both of you being surprise attacked you know?” Megumi muttered, glancing at the arm around his shoulder.

“Only because Itadori got stuck under that shitty pile of rocks and wouldn’t stop whining! I was distracted.”

“Hey! That wasn’t my fault- you pushed me?!?!”

“You got in the way of my attack it’s not the same thing!”

“Really? …I could have sworn you were aiming for his head.”

“Who’s side are you on here Megumi?!?!”

You turned back to Gojo, your eyes brimming with childish joy, you were reminiscing quietly of your own youth, holding back a chuckle, and Gojo couldn’t help but stare, his blindfold hiding the softest expression, his face appearing impassive to any passer-by’s.

And you’re turning back around, a light bounce in your step ready to remind the trio that they all preformed excellently, and Gojo hesitated, eyes still focused on the way rain was pelting down on your figure.

In every sense of the word; Satoru Gojo is untouchable.

He’s the strongest, basking in the glory of loneliness that such strength invites. Nobody can reach him, nobody will ever come close.

His name, status and abilities are simply, unreachable.

Not even the soft pitter patter of the rain can bridge the lack of contact.

Each droplet slowing and slowing until it gives up, deciding it's not worth a touch, that he's not worthy of touch.

Satoru Gojo was a man who braved the world alone, and this was a destiny he had known far too long to resent it, or to crave a world otherwise.

Until he met you, and your pretty smile, and your gentle way of care.

Pestering him when he doesn’t report back after his missions, your voice laced with concern that he did not need.

Of course he came back ok, he was the strongest.

And yet you still worried, shaking your head at his carelessness.

“Strongest or not, I’d prefer to know that you’re alive.”

And so Gojo hesitated.

His brain screaming at him to stay put, to not let you in, to stay as far away from you as he could possibly could.

It’s better when he’s alone, he’s stronger when he’s alone.

But his body seemed to crave you as much as his heart yearned for you, and seemingly against his will, his feet sped up, taking two strides until he was beside you, an easy smile on his face, concealing the tremor he felt in his heart.

You look at him, your face glowing with an unperturbed joy, welcoming him into the conversation with an ease that comes naturally when you’re with him.

“My amazing teaching’s paying off, eh?” His voice came out gentle, and you were sure he winked under his mask.

“Must be.” You giggle, and then you’re pausing, your eyebrows raised in confusion.

It was no longer raining.

Or more-so, it was no longer raining on you.

Turning your head you catch the slight smirk of the man beside you, who didn’t attempt to share your gaze, instead opting to tease Megumi for pouting, his voice light, a small spring in his step.

And you’re ogling at how the rain falls towards you but stops just short, slowing to a halt.

You were in his infinity, he had shared his space with you.

You wanted to cry.

Quietly you whisper a small “Thank you,” to Gojo, who’s smile only widened.

He didn’t reply, but the gentle feeling of his pinkie brushing yours made you swoon, persisting onwards, with your umbrella in-front of you, your hand entangled with the strongest.

masterlist

feel free to leave a request !!

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom: Star Wars

Character: Darth Vader

Pairing: Romantic

Type of Fic: Concept (HCs)

Oh no... Anakin giving into the Dark Side... Hope I get things right :( Doesn't really go into it so you can imagine him non-burned if you want.

Yandere! Darth Vader Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Controlling behavior, Manipulation, Violence, Murder, Isolation, Possessive behavior, Forced relationship.

Darth Vader is an Anakin who lost... everything.

His morals, his wife, his mentors, his mother, everything....

He is now a being of ruthless violence to try and justify his actions.

In a way he still wants to protect...

Even if it means stomping out rebellion for the Empire.

Vader no doubt knows he's become a monster.

Part of him wouldn't blame his obsession, whoever they are, for hating his presence.

But a lot of what he does would be for them... you.

Anakin... Vader... doesn't like change.

He has trouble with attachment and that was his downfall.

He has trouble letting go.

He used to be such a nice person.

Now... much has corrupted him.

Anakin has always had trouble with love.

He never wants to lose the people he loves.

Allowing him to have an obsessive and possessive attachment to those he loves.

I imagine Vader is the same way... deep in him.

He's driven to crave power to try and prevent anything similar happening to anyone with The Empire.

He thought he lost his ability to love when he lost Padmé.

Yet... he finds someone new.

Meaning, as always, his love is only harmful towards those he loves.

Vader would fear losing the one he loves again.

In fact, at first he tries to ignore such an idea.

He can't be attached to another.

A Sith Lord like him doesn't have time for another like Padmé.

But deep down... Deep down he craves it again.

Vader is one of the most powerful Sith Lords in the galaxy.

He is a man who takes what he wants.

Power, love, vengeance...

If he really wanted you, he could have you.

But why does he struggle?

All he feels is suffering.

When he sees you, a Jedi, a civilian, a rebel, someone who works under him... whoever you are...

He thinks of those he loved before....

He... He can't do it again, can he?

He's a selfish man.

A selfish man who hurts and kills those he loves.

If he truly respects and loves you, if he isn't just using you to cope...

He should let you go...

Yet as always he can't.

Darth Vader is powerful, arrogant, impulsive, ruthless, impatient, intimidating... and most of all...

Selfish.

Compared to Anakin, he's quiet no matter how you decide to see him.

It doesn't matter if you see him as you do in canon, or if you choose to use the fandom's un-burned version.

I still imagine he wears the helmet, the suit... and you hear that twisted breathing.

You may never truly know the man who took you from your home, who isolated you for his own benefit.

All you know is a cold mask and deep voice.

Along with his cold touch.

Vader is a man full of conflict.

His feelings for you do not help.

Vader is still a man who refuses to let go.

Once he obtains these new feelings for you, he can't just... get rid of them.

No, part of him still wants to love.

He doesn't deserve it, he knows that...

It never stops him from treating you like you're made of glass.

When the Death Star was around, he gave you your own room.

If not, you're never far from him.

I would not be surprised if he was more overprotective and possessive than he was as Anakin.

Now he's determined not to lose you like Padmé.

He may have been unable to save her.

Yet he'll succeed with you, he refuses to see otherwise.

Those who interact with you are closely monitored.

Any harm that comes to you is swiftly punished.

You're given a high security room and Vader often prefers to visit himself.

Vader likes his privacy with you.

By this point, it doesn't matter if this is wrong.

Vader finds himself obsessed with you and your safety.

He feels he can find love in you.

He wants to love again even if he can't.

It pains him when you flinch away.

He tries desperately to cup your cheek, to hold you close.

Frustration keeps bubbling within him when his attempts to change you, to make things work, fail.

Which often leads to him scaring you when he uses the Force to pull you into his arms.

He needs to be careful with his anger.

He could easily kill you if left unchecked.

Then he'd be repeating past mistakes if he wasn't already.

Vader expresses... desperation towards you.

Desperate for a love he can no longer have.

He can't force what he had to happen again.

You may always hate him... He'll always be a monster.

But he's too selfish to let you go.

Even if you hate him, he still holds on to his twisted view of love.

Vader would kidnap you from your home, slaughter all you love, and isolate you beside him...

He'd do it all if it meant he could feel something again... If it meant he could have you.

Murder isn't something he thinks much about anymore. There's not much guilt now.

He's done it so much already for a cause he believes in.

A safer galaxy.

Don't you want a safer galaxy?

While originally dedicating this all to Padmé, he now makes his purpose revolving around you.

Affection is no longer something he really expresses like he used to.

He'll caress you, hold you close, squeeze you like his life depends on it as you sit on his lap.

Yet kisses are impossible, so is anything else.

You feel like you're just being used to cope.

For the most part... you are.

Vader just would never admit it.

He wants you safe, cared for, and loved.

All by him.

Sure, view him as a monster, he knows he is one.

However, this monster is doing all he can to keep you safe.

You may not be happy now... but you will be.

Soon you'll trust his words, won't you?

If he didn't want to love you, he would've disposed of you for being a distraction.

Unfortunately, his view of love isn't much better.

Vader's new view on love is preventing all harm.

That means killing people in front of you with his saber or powers.

That means isolating you.

That means locking you away for his eyes only.

He calls this love...

In reality, he's still a man afraid of loss, and he can't afford to lose you like everything else.

[veloursdor]

the thing about larys strong is that i think he's been lonely his entire life, lonelier than even he realised/admitted to himself. he craves connection, someone to see him for who he is. and that's what's been guiding most of his actions throught the entire time we've known him.

when he saw alicent being unheard and unseen, he tried to form a connection with her as he saw himself in her (through manipulations of course, but his intention there when saying "i could be your ally" were sincere). but she rejected him (by refusing to see him as a man, by being horrified at his true self (the harrenhal fire), etc) and thus he grew to resent her and want to control her/humiliate her like she "humiliated him", probably thinking it was enough because of the power she gave him.

but then viserys died and alicent's power died with him.

spoilers for season 2 of house of the dragon below the cut

i think his "love" for her... changed or was put on the back of his mind after 2x04, especially after he sees the moon tea and she's in pain. when he asks her about criston, his reaction to her words is as if he is confused, as if he's recalculating what he thought of her because he's seeing her in a whole new light.

and maybe he is seeing her truly for the first time ever.

he said "you and i are the same", was always listening in on her conversations to gather information, maybe even convincing himself by doing so that she truly was like him. but, i think that, when larys says "you have not been yourself" is his way of saying "who are you? are you who i've always thought you were or someone i do not know?" and has to change his view of her, of what he convienced himself he saw in her.

maybe he sees that he's been living in a lie made of his own words.

so, when the council scene happens, he pities her and rejects her idea, because it has no ground and she's grasping at straws. (i do think he does feel sorry for rejecting her but he also doesn't have enough solid ground with aemond as regent (his position in the small council is fairly new) and slighting aemond would cost him the power he has, so he stays quiet and looks away).

however, he also manages to drive a nail to alicole's coffin but he walks away without looking back at the mess it left.

they then don't share a scene at all for the rest of the season.

from then on all his scenes are with aegon, and we see a side of larys we haven't seen before.

ageon gave him power (of course larys manipulated aegon with the Hand comment) because of his "loyalty" following blood and cheese (i still believe larys "let it happen") and made him his master of whispers. he placed larys in the small council (when alicent never did in the 6 years she acted as regent) and gave him status outside of the dungeons. he "brought him [larys] out of the shadows" in a way.

the show has made a point to tell us, since episode one of season two, that larys has been looking at aegon the same way he used to look at alicent in season one, staring him down as if he could see what he's made of, constantly analysing and calculating how to best approach him.

he made small attempts at conversations and funny lines ("that castle is more crippled than me") as the whole alicent thing is going on.

and then the battle of rook's rest happened.

with aegon barely holding on, we have a scene where larys is honest, vulnerable, sincere maybe for the first time ever (yes there's manipulation, but also genuine compassion). he sees the struggles aegon will have to face because he lived them himself.

like with alicent in the weirdwood, he tried to form a connection with aegon. but where alicent "rejected" his true self, aegon instead listened to what larys was saying, saw the truth in it and raged, which made larys feel seen and heard, beyond manipulation and twisted words, probably for the first time in his life

larys, for all his talk that love is a downfall, craves connection, the desire to not be alone in the world. he does feel love.

and whereas alicent rejected his love and was disgusted by his true self, aegon welcomed his help, invited his advice, and embraced his aid to become stronger

i think larys will be loyal to him as long as aegon allows his love and it does not fester into resentment, like his love for alicent did

[webslingingslasher]

taylor swift song request lesgooo!!! end game from reputation where y/n has a really big reputation as a 'bad girl' and peter (good boy loml) ends up tutoring her, and sees she isn't all bad...

first off, i am so sorry this took so long, you may not even be on my page anymore, but this struck something in me & i couldn't stop.

second, i switched up the request a little because if you listen to the song, (in a non snooty way lmao) taylor is the one expressing she wants to be with this person but she has a bad repuation and everyone's heard about it, and it's a lot to commit to because of the talk surrounding her.

---------

Everyone had it wrong. 

You were good. And kind. And smart. And talented. And confused. And lost. And just like every other kid in the school. You were good. You stayed to yourself. You didn’t gossip. You didn’t judge. You didn’t tattle. You were good. 

So why did everyone hate you so much? 

It was your brother’s fault. His reputation preceded yours and it ruined everything for you. 

He was the one that picked fights. 

He was the one that pushed teachers to the limits. 

He’s the one that sold dope from his locker. 

He’s the one that hooked up with a girl in the teacher's lounge. 

And the third floor bathroom. 

And the girls locker room.

And underneath the bleachers.

He’s the one that made everyone think you were just alike. 

It ruined everything about high school so far. 

Jokes, rumors, lost friendships, people refusing to date you. 

It was childish and unfair. You wanted one person on your side, the one person you watched in class, the one person that was nice to you in a school of jekyll’s. And you couldn’t have him. 

“Hey, still coming later?” 

Peter Parker had a smile that could make the devil buckle. He was sugar, spice and everything nice. Long time crush, but the part where you’ve been smeared into a good for nothing whore, made nothing possible. 

“You sure you still wanna do this? I don’t mind asking Mrs. Stu-” 

Peter called your name like you were telling a joke, “it’s my honor to tutor you! Don’t blow me off.” 

You want to protect him. You like him too much. He hangs around you long enough and accusations with his name start flying around with yours. 

“If you’re so desperate,” grinning brightly, “I’ll see you later.” 

Peter was so kind to tutor you. Your teacher asked on your behalf, she said she thought you’d be a good pair and you couldn’t deny the extra help, too bad Peter had to be the one on the chopping block. He was being a good samaritan and you knew what it would cause for him, even with the alone time you’ve been craving, you’d keep him pushed away at all costs. 

You didn’t want the fallout to burn him, you’re used to the sting and he’s someone that shouldn’t feel anything but a loving touch. 

Even if it would kill you, you’d have to pretend to be disinterested in Peter Parker and watch him walk away. 

Oh, the things you do for love.

—------------

You’ve never felt so paranoid in your life. You swore everyone was looking at you, or maybe they were looking at Peter. Telling themselves it seemed fit that a nerd would be trying his shot with the school whore, because it’s not like you’d say no. 

“Hi, can I sit?” Peter pointed at the patch of grass next to you, your eyes squinted as you looked up at him, it was hard reading his expression. You were the shade but he was standing under the sun, everything was washed out and too bright. 

“Um, here?” you pointed at the same spot, taking a chance to look around, you felt eyes all over you. “Yeah, I mean, unless you want me here?” He pointed at a patch on the other side of you, “or here,” gesturing next to your feet, “you know what? You choose, I’m the guest.” 

He’s so nice. Gentle, even. You hadn’t experienced someone so kind, so golden hearted, in a minute. His kindness shouldn’t be his weakness or his downfall. With one last scope of the scene you assume he could stay for a moment, at least you could figure out where to meet later. 

You give Peter a smile and pat the first spot he pointed out, “you can sit,” answering his original question. His backpack hit the ground first, jimming himself closer to the tree behind you to rest his back on. Peter’s fingers picked pieces of grass, you assume in boredom. 

“So,” you both speak at the same time, a soft exhaling laugh at the symmetry. You wave Peter along, the sooner he gets it out the sooner he can leave, the quicker he is with you the less he’ll be attacked. 

“Wanna meet at the library?” 

And have everyone see? Have his reputation smeared like your own? There’s a reason you don’t have many people around you, you can’t believe he doesn’t see it.

“No,” he’s taken a bit back by your blunt tone. Peter hums low, “your place?” 

You scoff, “absolutely not.” 

There’s no other option then, “alright, my place it is. Wanna come with me after school? We could take the bus, unless you prefer the subway.” 

God, there’s nothing in the world you want more. It was too dangerous, if you got close enough it’d be too hard to rip it away. If you were seen leaving school with him, going to his house with him, it’d be over for him. You would give him the mark of cain. 

It hurts more than you’d like to admit, you take your turn at plucking small weeds, avoiding his face. He’s hard to say no to. 

“I can’t. But, I’ll come over tonight.” 

You hate how happy he sounded when he answered, it was so unfair. You were a good kid, your brother was the bad one, but you dealt with all the repercussions. Your heart felt so weighed down, you wanted nothing more to reach out and hold Peter’s hand. 

You wanted a boyfriend. 

You wanted a friend. 

You wanted love. 

You wanted to feel accepted and heard and validated and supported by one person. 

But you couldn’t have him. 

“Cool. Wanna give me your number?” It’d be better than talking in person, easier to keep him away from you unless absolutely necessary. You nod, finally looking at him when you hand over your phone, he’s got a giant smile and you have to look back down at a patch of weeds with a single dandelion poking from it. 

“Yours?” 

Peter’s fingers brush yours when he hands his over, a warm jolt spreads down your wrist and into your elbow. It makes you feel alive, it’s a welcomed feeling. You try to forget it immediately. 

His screen is cracked and scratchy as you type your number in, feeling him watch over your face you scan the crowd of people. You swear you see someone pointing, you shove his phone back in his hand, scrambling to stand. 

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way, I have to go.” 

He’s not allowed to care this much. It’s unfair. 

“You don’t want to have lunch with me? I have half a sandwich if you want it, I know we only have like, ten minutes left but if you want it, it’s yours.” 

‘If you want it, it’s yours.’

Does he mean it? Is there a limit to what could be yours? 

Too bad you’ll never know. 

“Thank you, but I can’t.” He almost looks disappointed, you have to stop making things up. 

“You sure? I don’t mind sharing with you.” 

You do. He can’t suffer the same consequences you do, it’s too isolating. Lonely. You were lonely. He doesn’t deserve it. 

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll see you later, Peter.” 

Peter takes his time unwrapping his homemade sandwich from cellophane, he takes a bite from half and moans, outstretching his hand with the other half, still wrapped up. “Here, take it to go. My aunt made it, if you try hard enough you can taste the love.” 

He’s god damn irresistible. 

You take his gift, slowly backing away, “thanks, I’ll search for it.” 

Peter’s smile hurts your eyes, “good, it isn’t hard to find.” He’s adorable, even when he’s wrong. 

It must be his superpower. 

—-------------------

Peter’s aunt was two things. 

A lot, and very kind. 

You can see where Peter gets his aggressive pleasantry from, the moment she opened the door she was eager to please you. May wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug, her voice cheery in your ear.

“Oh my goodness, it is so nice to put a face to the name.” 

Politely patting her back you swallow thickly, she’s heard all about you and your make believe history. She’s kind but you know in the back of her mind she’s hoping you’d leave her nephew alone, get what you need from him and leave. 

“Nice meeting you too, you make a killer sandwich, by the way.” 

She gasps, pushing you away by your shoulders, moving her head to catch her eyes. An unfamiliar smile crosses her face, you don’t know what it means but it feels as welcoming and radiant as Peter’s. 

“Oh, good! He shared.” 

May said it like it was planned, like she could tell you were confused she broke your attention away. “I made cookies, because everyone knows you need sugar to help you focus.” A wink, she was so gentle, it’s something about those Parker’s. 

You play along, it’s nice to be welcomed for once. Even if it’s until you’re gone, the moment she tells Peter she knows all about you and to keep his distance. 

“I think I read a story on that once, nine out of ten dentists agree, right?” 

And just for a moment you let yourself dream, floating on your imaginary high of Peter Parker when his aunt laughs at your joke, her smile slowly dimming while she looks at your face, deep in thought. A confident head nod. 

“Peter was right about you.” 

You should take it negatively, but you don’t. There’s something about her that tells you she only means well. It must mean she hasn’t heard the bad things, but once she does, she’d be eating her words. 

But damn, if you aren’t curious about what Peter said. Was he nice, did he hint at a crush, did he make his aunt believe you were someone you’re not? 

“Peter was right about what?” 

The devil himself appeared from nowhere, his body standing next to yours, so closely you can feel hints of his cotton zip up hoodie brushing your arms. You closed your eyes to breathe slowly, the sight of him with his hands flat on the kitchen counter, leaning his weight into the laminate, his hoodie strings dangling in a tempting way. 

In a way you want to pull him closer by them, curling the fabric around your fingers and tugging him until his mouth is on yours. 

You’re easy to read, you can see it on May’s face the second you open your eyes. You know in an instant she knows that you like her nephew. Even more surprisingly, she looks excited with the knowledge. 

Her eyes flicker back to her nephew, “how lovely you said our guest was, what else did you say?” 

You can see Peter freeze, “May,” it’s a warning tone. His aunt bulldozes, “wasn’t it something about how pr-” You don’t know what she says, Peter speaks over her. “May!” Jumping in your spot, caught off guard by his sudden tone and volume change, Peter moves a hand to your arm, “sorry,” it was delicate, it was him saying he was only sorry towards you, sorry for catching you off guard. 

Fighting past his numbing touch, you smile, “it’s okay, I didn’t know you could be so stern.” 

You need to see a therapist, because you swear you shared a moment. “Only when it’s something I’m passionate about.” 

He’s talking about you, he has to be. You want him to be. 

You have no idea how you’ll keep yourself from tying to him. But you’ll give it a fighting chance. 

“You know what I’m passionate about?” Peter shakes his head, it’s hard to look away from his eyes, you never knew brown eyes could be so pretty. But you do, attention directed to fresh made chocolate chip cookies. 

“Cookies.” 

Peter won’t let you off that easy, “what kind?” 

You bounce different flavors over in your head, “you’re opening pandora's box, parker. I mean, are we talking grocery store, homemade, or bakery?” 

His arms crossed over his chest, “well, now I need to know every answer.” 

You blow out a breath like you’re about to compete in the olympics, “alright, off the shelf grocery, you can’t go wrong with double stuffed oreos. But, personally, those keebler elves, with the fudge? I love em, my mom stopped buying them cause I’d eat half the pack in one sitting, so now my dad sneaks them to me. But, I mean, you can’t go wrong with those little bakery sugar cookies, you know, the ones that stick to the roof of your mouth?” 

Peter bites back a grin, you weren’t lying, you really were passionate. 

“I know what ones you’re talking about, they’re gross.” It’s the most offensive thing he could say to you. “You’re wrong, but okay.” He laughs, “opinions can’t be wrong,” you pull your head back, “they absolutely can, yours is proof.” 

You look for support from his aunt but she’s long gone, you didn’t even see her back away. 

Peter rolls his hand, amping you on, “homemade?” 

You spit the answer quickly, “butterscotch oatmeal.” He’s never heard of them, or tasted them, but if you love them, he thinks he would too. “You’ll have to bring me some to try, they sound tempting.” Agreeing with him, “you’d never go back.” 

“Bakery?” 

“That’s the tricky one, it’s a rare find, not every place has them. But it’s my all time favorite flavor of anything ever made, s’mores.” 

Peter loves it, your favorite treat was s’mores and it fit you. 

His personal mission was tracking one down and bringing it to you. 

“S’mores? Really?” 

You nod, “really, really. If you find one you’ll have to try it, unless you have another wrong opinion and don’t like s’mores.” 

“Nah, I love s’mores.” 

Peter Parker was too good of a person to bring down. You need to shut down your admiration, because his alienation would hurt the most. 

—---------------------

This wasn’t good. No, this was bad. This was really bad. 

Peter Parker just called open season on himself and it was all your fault. 

You should’ve refused for him to be your tutor, that was the mistake. The moment it was agreed upon it was over. You should’ve never gone over to his house, if you hadn't then you would’ve never told him about your favorite cookie, and he wouldn’t have gotten you one. 

It happened in third period, he approached your seat and set a small white box in front of you. Your eyes flickered from the box to him several times before you asked, “what’s this?” A gift, you knew that much, he’s given you a gift and Jeffery Stewart was watching it go down. Peter would have an hour until he was tied to you. 

“Open it,” slowly opening the cardboard your heart skips three beats, once for each cookie. You’ve never felt so seen, dare you even say loved? He listened, that’s what it was. He listened to you and he tracked them down and presented them to you, he was proud. 

Peter Parker has made everything about your current life harder. 

“Oh my god, where did you find these?” 

He shakes his head, like it doesn’t matter where he sourced them, what matters is that he did. 

“You were right, they’re hard to track down, it took me three days. Surprisingly, they’re mostly seasonal.” 

You tsk, contemplating tearing one in half right now. “It’s so wrong, isn’t it? I mean, you can buy s’mores stuff all year long, so it doesn’t make sense.” Fuck it, it’s selfish, but he went above and beyond. 

Splitting a cookie, you hand half over, cheersing yours with his. You throw your head back and hum the second you bite down, they’re the best ones you’ve ever had. You weren’t sure if it was because they were that good, or because it felt like they were purchased with care. 

“Holy shit, Peter. These are unearthly.”

He’s in the same boat, he can understand why they’re your favorite now. 

Nodding excessively, “my world has changed for the better.” 

“Yeah, mine too.” It was a slip, you didn’t mean to say it. It came out without thinking, you said it sincerely, and he knows it. Peter finished the rest of his cookie and licked his thumb, “good, I’m glad to hear it.” 

This was bad. This was very bad. 

Because Peter Parker lays his hand on your desk and leans in, really closely, it makes you stop functioning all together. He needs to leave, he needs to back away, he needs to leave you alone. He doesn’t know what he's doing to himself, but you’re too selfish to stop it. 

Even with Jeffery Stewart staring you down like a dog in heat, a wicked grin spreads while he ropes over the many rumors he’s about to flood the halls with. 

“Wanna come over tonight?” 

Lost in a world of a million thoughts, all of them being about the distance from his lips to yours. Blinking back to attention you groan, “I don’t really feel like studying tonight, my brain is mush.” 

Peter nods, then moves in, just an inch closer, you feel like you’re about to die. 

“Not what I asked.” 

“I don’t-” 

“I asked if you wanted to come over, not if you wanted to study.” 

The room is spinning, everything is a blur. He’s flirting, Peter Parker is flirting with you in front of an audience. He’s fearless, it’s impressive. There’s no way he doesn’t know about your reputation, the things people say about you, the things you do. 

Suddenly, a chill creeps up your spine. What if he knows exactly what people say, what if that’s why he’s being sweet, what if that’s why he’s acting like he cares? Fuck it, you’ll call him out on his bullshit, but privately, you don’t need any extra attention. 

“Sure. Same time?” 

“Same time,” it’s set in stone when the bell rings, Peter knocks his knuckles on your desk before he walks away. It’s unfair how much you hate to see him pull away from you.

—------------------

The upside to being cynical is that when things don’t work out, like you plan, you’re not that hurt, because you called it the whole time. 

Just like Peter, you knew the second it circled back to him he’d be gone. It proved to be true when you heard mumbles by your locker, eyes flicking to you and back, quicker whispers shared. 

From what you’ve gathered, either Peter has seen your nipple piercings or he’s given you nipple piercings. Not that you had them, but that didn’t matter. What now mattered was that Peter was directly tied to you and your boobs were involved, that’s enough alone for him to get a clap on the back while you’re being shamed for even acknowledging your body autonomy. 

What a lame rumor, Jeffery Stewart could’ve gone to the moon with theories but this was the one he settled on? Usually he was a bit more creative, his last one ended up with you and the guidance counselor in the principal's office informing you that it was a safe space, and that if the school’s janitor came onto you it wasn’t your fault. 

It took three weeks for people to totally forget it, but those few weeks you’d hear claps and wolf whistles when you passed by the janitor's closet made you feel like you were on the constant verge of vomiting. 

Usually it wouldn’t bother you, but once they involved Peter’s name you felt sick. Everything you feared itching to life, and right when you heard a third possibility you couldn’t stay silent, slamming your locker door shut and giving wild eyes to the girl talking to her friend on your right. 

“Which one is it, Lindsey? Was he holding my hand while I got them done, did he see them, or did he do them? I don’t know about you, but if I heard three totally different versions of a story I’d question the authenticity of the claim.” 

It didn’t matter who was watching, you couldn’t hold it in.

You felt like you were on fire, you could see her sputter, like she didn’t expect you to call her out. You felt like the walls were closing in on you, she didn’t start the rumor but she was helping it spread and she was the closest person you could explode on. 

“C’mon, Lindsey. Which one? I want to hear your side, unless you think it went down a totally different way. What? Scared to talk?” 

Your throat’s closing, you can’t stop, you step closer, you shout at her. 

“Which one, Lindsey!” The hall was dead silent, for the first time you had no cares about who was looking. 

Her shoes squeak as she backs up, her eyes wide and blinking, a flash of terror, it makes you want to squeeze her and shake her, try to get her to understand this was what it felt like to be you.

“Fucking answer me!” Your voice cracked, she whimpered, fat tears falling. 

“None! I don’t believe any of them!” 

She doesn’t. You can see it written all over her face, she was just talking to talk, knowing you could hear every word she produced. It just made you feel sad. 

“You can hunt other women as much as you want, Lindsey. But the collusion doesn’t save you from the same hunt.” 

Lindsey nods, like she understands. But you know she doesn’t, you know she’ll keep being the same, until they turn on her, and then she’ll wonder why no one stands up for her and how anyone could believe the jargon they say about her. And on that day, you’d be nodding with the crowd. 

—-------------

If Peter told his aunt about today she had an excellent poker face. Because she was more than happy seeing you when she opened the door, hugging you close before she could even shut it.

“Hi, sweetheart! How are you doing?” Politely hugging back, you talk back in her ear. “Hi, Ms. Parker, I’m good, how are you?” A squeeze before you’re released, her hands warm on your shoulders. 

“Oh, please, just call me May. Did Peter give you the cookies?” 

You nod while biting back a grin, she might have a clue for how you feel about her nephew but you’re not announcing it either. “Good,” she’s got something in her that makes you feel like she’s more of a wingwoman than aunt. 

“Peter’s in his room, I won’t be back until late, are you sleeping over?” 

You feel off balance for a second. May’s leaving you and Peter alone, for several hours, and then suggests you’ll be spending the night. She really is a wingwoman. It makes you second guess everything Peter might have told her, it’s clear she can see your mental gymnastics when she pats your arm. 

“He said you guys are gonna hang out, maybe watch some movies. I just meant, will I be surprised if I come home to you two cuddled up somewhere.” 

Is she saying not to fuck in the common areas?

“Are you saying-” 

“Keep it in his room.” 

Mortified. She must assume the worst out of you, you’ve only met her twice and her thought was that the second you were alone you’d be fuck bunnies. To be fair, Peter is really attractive. She can tell how embarrassed she’d made you and she’s quick to jump over it. 

“No accusations and no shaming. I’d just rather be clear to both of you. Peter had a worse conversation, be glad.” 

You take that as her permission, and that she likes you. She has to, she just implied she’d be cool if you and Peter hooked up. Even if the world hated you, having her approval made you feel like you had someone to impress again. 

“Okay, I understand and accept the rules and boundaries of your home.” 

May laughs, hooking her purse over her shoulder she pats your arm again. “You’re a good kid, don’t forget that.” 

And that made you want to curl up and cry, you haven’t had unprompted support like that in years. It worked, because you’d never, not once, cross any boundary of her’s. In fact, after that? You’d die protecting hers. 

“Thanks, May. See you later.” 

A wink, “See you later, honey.” 

You took a second to breathe, and look over yourself in the mirror before approaching Peter’s door. Knocking for a second and opening it when he answered, he spun one eighty in his desk chair, a blur of blue plaid until he settled. 

Before he had a chance to speak you did, “did your aunt give us permission to have sex, or am I tripping?” 

Peter’s grin dimmed, he looked to his closet doors while his cheeks tinged pink. “I promise you, whatever she said to you, is nowhere near as bad as my talk.” 

“She mentioned that, was it all about the ins and outs of pleasuring a woman?” 

Peter’s avoiding eye contact, you came here to tell him he should keep his space but watching him shrink under your questions made you feel powerful. Each blush he gives makes you want to dig in further. 

He more or less shrugs, it’s a damn bold line, you don’t even know what you're saying until it comes out in full. 

“Tell me, Parker, could you please me?” 

Seconds tick, you can hear it on his clock, finally he looks at your face. Any trace of a blush fallen, it makes you feel choked. 

“I’m not sure, but I’d love to find out.” 

Panic. He’s not supposed to say that, he’s supposed to back down. You’re supposed to back him down.

Peter can’t go down this road and it’s your job to block his path, but you can’t stop yourself from moving out of his way. 

“I mean, since you already know about the nipple piercings…” you trail your words, expecting a sneer. Instead he laughs, a full on body laugh, it makes you smile, just the pure happiness radiating from him. 

For once a rumor is just something you can laugh about. 

“Psh, of course I knew about them. I mean, isn’t that the third time you’ve had them?” 

It was. You didn’t realize it but that was the third time the rumor was reused. You didn’t notice but he did, did he notice all the other ones too? All the ones that stated how bad you were? Did it even matter if he believed them, you didn’t think so, at least not at this point, you just didn’t want him to suffer the same fate. 

Peter pats the top of his bed, “take a seat,” your stomach lurches, the thought of being in his bed enough to ignite you in flames. His aunt said keep it in his room and he’s luring you right in, your palms feel like they’re sweating. If he heard all the rumors about you sleeping around and thought you were like that, he was about to be disappointed. 

Holding your eyes shut and squeezing fists you rush the words out, the quicker said the quicker this would be over. 

“I’m a virgin!” 

Instead, he looked utterly confused, looking around his room like he was trying to figure out where the explosion came from. Settling on a low release of words, his eyebrows furrowed in, “so am I?” 

Just to be clear, “I’m not looking to change that tonight, so if that’s why you wanted-” 

“No!” Peter almost slips on the floor he stands so quick, “that’s not at all why I wanted, I just thought…” He doesn’t know how to say it, he almost said he thought you needed a friend, but that could be offensive, or worse, he’d be friendzoning himself for you. 

“Thought what, I’d be an easy piece? Cause I know you’ve hea-” 

“I asked Mrs. Sturgis if I could tutor you!” 

You stop talking, his words looping in your brain. That doesn’t make sense, because if he did ask then that means he wanted to tutor you, that means there was a deeper meaning, that means when his aunt said he talked about you it went further than what was said at school. 

“Please,” he pleaded your name, “come sit? Just for a second.” 

You follow his command and sit on the edge of his bed, watching Peter pace as he combs his hands through his hair. He’s nervous. 

“I don’t know how to talk to you, my brain is just… you make me really nervous.” 

“Why did you ask to tutor me?” 

Peter stops moving to look at you, it was easier to answer when you asked. 

“So I could talk to you.” 

It’s a start, “why?” 

“I just wanted you to trust me. I hear what everyone says, and I don’t believe a word of it, but I didn’t want you to think I was asking for the wrong reasons, or making a joke out of you.” 

Your face scrunches, “you thought, I’d think, that you asking to tutor me, directly, would be a joke?” 

Peter shakes his head, sitting back in his chair and taking a second to answer you. 

“No, I think if I asked you out on a date you’d think it was a joke.” 

You laugh, “well, yeah… It’s not like you…” 

Except he does, and you can see it all over his face. He really, really does. With the new knowledge you don’t know how to act, suddenly aware Peter Parker sees you in a different light. He doesn’t see you as his student, he sees you as a potential mate. 

You only know fight or flight, and your flight option was crawling further up his bed, backing away until your back hit the wall, a dull thump produced. You give a barely audible, “ow,” your brain racing with thoughts, trying to catch up with his admittance. 

“You okay?” 

You’re thankful he can’t see you, the top bunk perfectly cutting your head from his viewpoint. 

“Peachy,” you can barely speak. 

“Cool, cause it seemed like you kinda freaked when I implied I wanted to ask you out.” 

You nibble on your thumbnail, “implied or asking?” 

“I’d rather ask when I can see you.” 

How is he so calm, he was the one that was just pacing the floor talking about how nervous he was. Now he’s a smooth talker.

“Is that why you asked to tutor me? So you could ask me out?” 

“Maybe, but you also need a tutor.” 

Rude. Fair, but rude. 

“So, you like me?” 

You wish you could see the smile he has, you know he has one, you can hear it in his laugh. 

“What would give you that impression?” 

You shrug, but he can’t see. “I don’t know, you’re not nervous anymore.” 

“I don’t have to be, the girl I like likes me too.” 

You gasp, you’ve said no such thing! There was absolutely nothing to base his accusation off of. You mock his words. 

“What would give you that impression?” 

Another laugh, you wish you could see that laugh. But once you emerge it’s over, it means he’s signed his life away to be with you. An act of selflessness you didn’t know was possible. 

“Look at yourself, you’re hiding cause you’re petrified to be asked out.” 

“No, I’m not. I’m protecting you, cause if you don’t ask, you won’t be ridiculed.” 

You imagine he looks offended, because he sounds it. 

“Do you think I give a shit what anyone thinks?”

“It’s isolating, Peter. I’d feel like I’d bring you down, and you don’t deserve that.” You take a breath, “you’re very kind, and I really like that.” 

“You’re kind too, and smart, and really, very, pretty. And I think once you have a boyfriend and a friend group, things won’t be so bad and everyone will forget why they teased you.” 

You hum, playing with your nails and chewing at your bottom lip, silence took over. It was a rush of a lot of emotions, you’re shocked and excited. You’re also panicked and jittery. It was everything you feared and wished for at once. 

Peter Parker is asking to be in your life, no matter the cost. 

That’s the bravest thing you’ve ever witnessed. 

Clearing your throat, “who would be my boyfriend?” 

Peter pretended to think about it, “you could have whoever you want.” 

“Anything you want, it’s yours.” An immediate flashback to the first day he sat with you, you mumbled out the words and scooted, just an inch, from the wall. 

“What was that?” 

You announce it, moving forward another inch, “anything you want, it’s yours. You said that at lunch the first day you sat with me, do you still mean it?” 

There’s just something you’ve been dying to do, something you’ve been wanting to do. And he said whatever you wanted. 

“Whatever you want, I mean it.” He sounds sincere too, you move forward a few inches. 

“Have you kissed anyone before?” 

Peter doesn’t understand the correlation but he’ll entertain it. “Yes?” 

You offer up more information, hoping he’d catch the hint. “I haven’t.” 

He doesn’t. “That’s no biggie, I think over half the school-” 

You speak over him, “but, I want to.” 

It takes Peter a second to register it, and when he does he almost collapses. 

“Oh. I see. Um, want me to come in there, or you come out here?” 

Your heart races, he’s so willing to do whatever with no qualms, you just asked and he’s delivering. You were about to have your first kiss with your number one crush, and he liked you too. 

“Wait, you’re gonna do it?” You’ve never been so excited. Or anxious. Were these the butterflies people talk about? 

“I’m sorry, did I read that wrong?” 

“No, you’re just… right now?” You think you’ll puke all over him, that’s why you’re stalling. 

You can see Peter drum his fingers over his pants, “do you wanna hold off for a second? I’ll do it whenever you want.” 

Your heart clenches, “Peter,” you groan out his name, “stop being so nice, it hurts.” Waiting a moment before continuing, “I’m gonna suck, and you won’t like me anymore.” 

God, you wish you could see the cocky grin smear, you can hear it, but you want to face him more than anything. It’s like he’s doing it on purpose. He knows you can’t stay hidden forever. 

“Wanna bet?” 

Why not? If you really think about the last year and change of high school, what else would you really have to lose? 

Plus, he was really cute. 

Overwhelmed with the knowledge of knowing you were about to have your first kiss, you slowly shimmied to the edge of the bed, right where you were before you hightailed it backwards. 

Peter looks even better than you’ve pictured, his hair fluffy from where he ran his hands through it. A greeting smile rested on him, and his bright brown eyes warmed. “Well, hello there, I was afraid you got lost.” 

Sucking the life force from your bravery, “I was told there would be kisses out here.” 

A surprised look crossed Peter before he fell back into neutral, pushing off his desk to glide over in front of you, his knees knocking yours, suddenly you feel panicky again. “There absolutely can be.” 

Peter catches your nerves and figures it’d be easier to actually get it over with, because the second he would pull away all panic would hit near bottom ground. Using what little skill he has, he rests his right hand on your thigh while his left cups your face. 

You suck in a breath, following his guide when he brings your face up to his. Peter swipes his thumb across your cheekbone and you feel everything in you be set ablaze with desire. 

You wonder if he can feel how warm your cheek is under his touch, if he does, he doesn’t comment. When you give him no disagreement he leans in, he can hear your breath hitch, it brings him a little pleasure to be the ‘cool’ one in the situation. 

When he’s closer than you would’ve ever imagined he gives you a grin, “hi.” It was a hushed whisper, you give him one back, “hi.” Your eyes flash from his gaze to his mouth, you were caught, it makes you look down at your hands. 

Your mind spirals, why hasn’t he kissed you yet, and also, what do you do with your hands? Giving it a shot you press them against Peter’s chest, but it feels like you’re pushing him off, so you move to his shoulders but it doesn’t feel quite right. 

“Want some help?” Peter caught on to your struggle, of course he did, he just notices the little things with you. He doesn’t even pull away, just bringing his hand that was on your thigh to bring your left hand around his neck. Your right hand outstretched to rest on his ribcage, when you look back he seems much closer, this time he’s looking at your mouth. 

“Do-” 

Peter cuts you off, a hushed whisper, “I’m gonna kiss you now,” you breathe in sharply, “oh, okay.” Peter can’t fight the smile, “is it?”

You don’t get a chance to answer, his mouth is on yours, and it’s heaven. You feel like you’re floating, his lips velvety smooth, the only way you know how to show your shock and appreciation is by gripping his shirt. Peter’s bottom lip favored your top lip, moving into his kisses awkwardly. He was much more experienced, but he didn’t make you feel overwhelmed, it felt like he was guiding you. 

You didn’t feel like you were doing much, but it felt like everything you imagined. It made you dream of a day where you could do this with him whenever you wanted. It felt like he was pulling away, you refused to part and followed him, holding tight to his flannel. It failed when he was able to push you away with ease. 

Peter sounded slightly winded, you were blinking with stars in your eyes, your heartbeat in your throat, and just a little shy to look at him. “Funny thing about kissing, you gotta breathe to keep doing it.” 

You're new to it, gulps of fresh air weren’t as refreshing as him. You wanted to kiss him again, but you didn’t want to put him out, and you still weren’t sure how to initiate or ask for it. 

Peter tapped on your knee, “wanna take me out for another test drive or are you happy with your purchase?” 

He wanted to do it again. 

That’s a good thing. 

“If I buy it, does that mean the test drives stop?” 

“Of course not. That just means you don’t need to ask to drive it.” 

You lean in this time, “but I have to ask now?” 

Peter speaks against your lips, “it would be the customary thing to do.” 

“Well then,” you speak softly and look at him, “would you kiss me again?” 

Your eyes close when he brushes against your mouth, a kiss is pressed to the corner of your cheek, “depends, are you planning on purchasing?” 

Boldly, you give him a chaste kiss, “everyone at school is gonna hate my new car.” 

Peter kisses your cheek, “best in show, baby. Best in show.” 

You take a deep breath, it wasn’t a bad thing to need someone. And it wouldn’t be bad to let yourself have them. 

Peter Parker heard everything everyone said but he wasn’t even listening, it felt dizzying, for the first time someone saw the real you, the good you and wanted you. He wanted nothing and everything at the same time. You liked him, maybe a bit too much, and the risk of losing him was enough to send you flying. But the chance of love, and hope and trust was even bigger. 

Someone wasn’t scared to have a big reputation with you. Peter Parker was proud to have the same big enemies as you. 

And for that reason, 

“Sold.” 

[anyacad0]

we were robbed of having Yunli talk to so many characters' weapons so here are my headcanons for the express crew, stellaron hunters and some others:

lance of preservation: I imagine it having a very caring but also stoic voice. Probably feminine. Often talks about battle strategy, with a patient personality

Mikhail's hat: what if its voice is just Clockie? I imagine Yunli trying to speak with it and then suddenly realising "wait a second this is that cartoon from Penacony"

Welt's cane: It has two voices- the cane itself, and the herrscher core. The former is probably weathered, but patient and reassuring like its wielder. The core, on the other hand, is weak and generally silent outside of battle, but during fights it still yearns for the downfall of humanity.

Himeko's briefcase: Surprisingly eager for battle. It sounds younger than Himeko, and is always up for a challenge. Sounds like it drinks coffee on an hourly basis. Yunli likes it a lot.

Cloudpiercer: A very gentle voice, which Yunli finds surprising. Usually a weapon this lethal would crave chaos. It trusts its wielder entirely, but there is an unmistakable degree of longing in its voice, although she can't quite tell who for.

March's bow: Excitable, but very protective, especially of the express crew. Yunli guesses straight away that Himeko is the one who made it.

Kafka: her guns are cold and detached, only speaking during battle, and never with any emotion. Her sword, on the other hand, has an alluring voice and craves thrills.

Shard Sword: It doesn't speak much, and often refuses to speak to Blade (he can hear it and you can't convince me otherwise), but its words are patient and wise. There is constant pain in its voice, but the pain is distant as if the sword has long since learned to carry it.

Prometheus: There are a number of Silver Wolf's AI friends living in it, but it does have a voice of its own. It seeks adventure, and often speaks like a fighting game announcer during battle.

Firefly's swords: They crave battle, but not bloodshed, which Yunli finds strange. Their voices seem to be constantly changing, similar to Firefly's but not quite identical.

Null: completely silent. It's not as if it has a voice and just doesn't want to speak, there simply isn't anything there.

Luka's gauntlet: talks a lot, and very fast. Yunli can barely keep up with what it's saying. It fluctuates between being overexcited and overly nervous. However, during a fight, it's calms down completely.

[jarofstyles]

FICTOBER DAY 24- Holding Back

yeah so... it's angel yn x demon h smut and it's filthy so here we goooo.

Fictober

Patreon

WARNINGS- demon h, angel Y/N, mean Dom h, dumbification, degradation, choking, hair pulling, etc. Just filth.

--------

Holding her hair in a ponytail, Harry’s hand drug her back to press her back against his sweaty chest. His hips continued to move, the slap of skin audible in the room, but Y/N was trying to keep it down. 

 “You’re holding back.” He hissed into her ear, the tingles of her hair being gripped and his lips so close making her body shiver. The demon was rough with her, just the way she’d found herself craving, one hand curling around her throat as she let out the most pathetic whimper she’d ever hear. “Who cares if anyone hears, hm? It’s what you need to do.”

His cock was deep in her, fucking into her sopping wet cunt, and he knew he was directly where she liked being fucked. “Poor little Angel. Still so afraid of letting people see even a bit of Dirt.” He cooed, slowing his thrusts and hitting deep, making her mouth fall open and a wheezy squeak leaving her lips. 

“I think that’s what it is. Y’walk around, like you’re this holy, sweet, innocent little thing. Perfect Angel, so soft spoken and touch so delicate. But when the door is closed.” He squeezed a bit harder with his fingers on her throat, making her gasp again. “The door is closed and you’re getting your holes fucked by the very creature you claim to hate. Sweet little Angel Y/N, God’s favorite… Is getting raw fucked by the demon who followed you home.” He snickered, loving that he had been her downfall. 

If Y/N wasn’t in the midst of pleasure, she would smack him hard. She would turn her nose up in the air, stomp her foot and leave. But she wasn’t there, she was being fucked by said man so well that her body was clay for him to model, her cunt wrapped around him and getting sparks of pleasure rendering her brain useless. “Hm? No retort from the pretty ice queen?” His tongue licked over her jaw, letting her breathe better for a moment as she shook her head. It was the right answer, because she was rewarded with her hair being released and sneaking down to rub at her throbbing clit. 

“Right answer, Angel girl. Got you so drunk on my cock that you’ve turned into a braindead little slut.” His voice got rougher, making her clench around him. He was soaked with her arousal, balls dripping with it, and he was enjoying every second of it. “Big and proper when we’re out there but the moment we’re alone you fall to the ground and mouth at my cock, get on those knees and open that pretty little mouth just so I can spit into it, fuck it… whatever I want because you’re just my little toy, yeah Angel?” He felt her try to nod, but that wasn’t enough.  “Use your words. Tell me you’re just my toy to fuck.” 

“I’m just… I’m your- I’m just your toy to f-fuck.” She shivered, her brain pleasantly floating as he fucked her. Y/N didn’t know sex could be as good as it was and surely she would pretend to hate depraved things such as this when she left the room- but something about the demon made her want to submit fully. Allowed herself to go blank, to take him the way he wanted her to. “Please,please,please, can I?” She pleaded, wanting so badly to cum. The stroke of his cock and his fingers rubbing over her clit and the nibbling of her jaw, it was the perfect storm. She was so close to letting go, so close to cumming all over his thick cock and then- 

He stopped. Fingers stilling on her clit, cock buried to the hilt and stopping, Y/N cried out in loss as he cooed at her. “None of that. You’re going to cum when I want you to, beautiful thing. If you’re going to turn your back on me out there, that’s fine. But I want you to remember being edged as many times as you can be. Roll your eyes at me saying hello next time and m’not going to let you come at all. You’ve got to be reminded what you are.” He kissed away a tear, pulling her to lay her head back on him. “A slut for a demon, a personal whore. You’ve signed up for this, you come knocking at my door to apologize… Give me this sweet body and a promise of being better next time… I think the only way to make a girl like you learn, is if I take away what you’re after.” Harry’s hand crawled up her belly, pressing over where he was sure he was buried, rocking back and forth into her to get some relief. 

“Because none of those angels can fuck you the way you want. You want flower petals and champagne and a slow rock of a fuck? Go on to them. But you won’t because underneath that angelic body, lays the prettiest, most willing to please slut that wants a pounding.” His chuckle made her shudder again, pressing his lips to her cheek. “As long as you remember you’re mine and show me a bit more respect? I can continue to make this happen. Do you understand me?” 

“Yes- yeah, I do Harry. I’m sorry.” She whined, cut off when his hand smacked over her breast.  As much as she tried, Harry was the one who shut her brain off. Let her focus on pleasure and give her a sweet pain to remember the next day, making her feel more alive than she had ever been. “I am yours, I promise.” 

“I know that.” He stated. “Get back down and turn around. Want to see you cry for my cum.”

[ajokeformur-ray]

My thoughts on Jareth

If none of these thoughts or concepts are original or if they're canon elsewhere, then I'm unaware because I've never read any of the novelisations or comics etc. These thoughts are all based on over twenty years of loving this film; it raised me while I raised my younger siblings.

4.9k words, written during Labyrinth's 1 hour 41 minute runtime. Unedited.

Hesitant to post but doing it anyway because a friend read it last night and liked it enough to encourage me to post it.💖

I think a lot of who Jareth is, is contained within his music - “lost and lonely... no love injection... no one can blame you for walking away... don't tell me truth hurts, little girl, because it hurts like hell... that's underground.” - in this last one, he's telling her who he is and how his world works. He's lonely, the only one of his kind Underground, and in the end credit song it's rather heavily implied that his sister wished him away when they were children, and he begged for his daddy to come and get him, but he was never rescued and rather reluctantly was forced to become the King of the Goblins, somehow. Jareth knows the truth hurts, towards the end of the film he's hurting but he can't and won't stop it, because Sarah is his downfall and he knows it. He's doomed to shrivel up within her as a very strong childhood figure, lost and stagnant within her imagination, while Sarah will, at some point, grow up and thrive because of the lessons he taught her, the friends he gave her (or the creatures he put in her path, if you'd prefer to think of it like that) and his presence in her life. He was there for her when she was lost and lonely and wanting to escape from all of it. Jareth caught her as her world fell down, but when he fell... no one was there to catch him. He's doomed by his own narrative.

He watches her rehearse from the book he gave her in the park – he's getting to know her and who she is in the moments when no one's watching. A teenage girl who has had a traumatic time – the death of her mother/her parent's divorce and her father's remarriage (canon is shaky on whether her mother died or left to become a Hollywood actress and so her father remarried after their divorce, so I've included both possibilities for the sake of being thorough), the birth of a new sibling and the parentification that elder siblings get stuck with most of the time, – and is stuck in the uncomfortable stage of still being a child but not quite an adult. He's an owl while he watches her – suspicious in broad daylight but hidden; Sarah clearly thought nothing of it, and perhaps he was indulging her, giving her the audience and attention she craved, but also giving her and himself the company they both need - “lost and lonely”is repeated in the opening song; it's common ground they both share and is therefore a theme within the narrative. Jareth uses his music to speak, as do we all. Music binds love and humanity together, and Sarah's time in the park, her rehearsals, is clearly a more tangible deep dive into the world inside her mind – a world in which she is a heroine up against a villain who is as strong and powerful as she is, and an escape from her real life, which is always shattered by the chiming of the clock. Just like Cinderella, another fairy tale. This parallel with clocks, big white Cinderella ballroom dresses and reality shattering a fantasy, is evident also in the As The World Falls Down scene, in which Jareth's devastation is made clear. (More on this later!)

“But what no one knew, was that the King of the Goblins had fallen in love with the girl, and he had given her certain powers” - here's where my main theory starts. Jareth is doomed by the narrative – his own narrative – because it's been constructed by a teenage girl who doesn't know quite yet who she wants to be, and this narrative has been constructed because of the powers he gave her. Jareth doomed himself by falling in love with Sarah and he knows it, but he's powerless to resist because it's in the narrative that he can't. This ties into the “fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave” scene later on, because Jareth is simply declaring them as equals with that line. He already fears the power she has over him, as she has revoked his power over her (or, the power that his character in her story has over her), he already loves her, he already is her slave, and he is already scared of what she could do, because now Sarah has realised that, while she does have to grow up and be a better person, she still has the time for childhood, and that is what she chooses in her rejection of Jareth; she chooses her childhood, delaying adulthood for a few years more. She's only fifteen, so I can't say I disagree with her decision.

Instances in which Sarah could have been harmed but she was not, showing that Jareth never intended her any actual harm and was merely fulfilling his role:

Threw a 'snake' at her, which turned into a soft furry goblin the second it came into contact with her (role here: Sarah wanted to be like the heroine she reads about in Labyrinth, so Jareth gave her a villain to go up against. He said it himself, he only took Toby because she asked him to. Prior to this, the only involvement he had in her life was giving her the book. Otherwise, he was a content silent spectator of this fascinating human who lives with her head in the clouds.)

Sarah got the riddle at the door right and she would have been able to progress through the tunnel into a deeper part of the Labyrinth, but then she said - “I think I'm getting smarter.” (this is confidence and therefore went unpunished; the trap door didn't open) “this is a piece of cake” (this did get her punished, because there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance and she tipped over the edge, so for being arrogant, Jareth hindered her progress and sent her into an Oubliette where Hoggle was waiting for her because, again, Jareth does not want to harm her. He's not an actual villain. He's doing this because she's written him as HER villain and he's merely doing what she asked him to do. Again.Another lesson here; he humbled her immediately and played the role of a mentor/guardian). She could have been hurt when she fell through, but she wasn't. There were Helping Hands to guide her way down gently, and then Hoggle was ready and waiting to take her to another part of the Labyrinth. No harm came to her, even though it very easily could have; Jareth could have let her fall through unguided, with no help on the way down. But, he opened up the world beneath her, and then manipulated his own world to catch her fall, like he promises in the romantic song As The World Falls Down (more on this later). For the second time, he threatened but did not fully follow through.

The cleaners!!! Second time Sarah got arrogant – this time, she looked down before she said “it's a piece of cake” so she was lying about it, and you do not lie to fae! So, Jareth punished her with the cleaners. This was a little more high stakes in terms of harm, but at the end of the corridor is a readily marked part of the wall which is obviously cut out with a darker arch around the outside and weakened enough for a teenage girl to push against it just enough to knock it over right before the cleaners got there and then there's a ladder taking her to safety away from the tunnels???? There is no way that's accidental – everything in the Labyrinth which challenges Sarah is put there by Jareth, who can manipulate his heart (I think the Labyrinth is a metaphysical representation of his heart – more on this later) – or, his world – to his own wants. He humbled her yet again but also punished her for lying to him (to herself, technically, since this story is hers), and gave her a good scare in the process. Sometimes, we need a good dose of fear, and Sarah clearly wants adventure and some excitement in her life!

The Bog of Eternal Stench – What I find interesting here is that Jareth spoke presumably through one of his crystals to warn Hoggle against throwing away the poisoned peach in a god-like over-seeing manner – this was an overt intervention. But minutes before that, he did nothing to prevent Ludo, Sir Didymus and Hoggle all working together to save Sarah from falling into the Bog when the bridge broke. We know from that exchange with Hoggle and previous scenes that he watches Sarah's progress and he manipulates his world/heart at will to hinder/help her, but in this particular moment when she is actually in danger, and not through his or anyone else's fault, Jareth does nothing to prevent his subjects from helping her. Therefore, he never intends to harm her, and I fully believe that if Ludo hadn't been successful in summoning up the rocks to save Sarah, that a barn owl would have swooped in out of nowhere and stopped her from getting hurt/falling into the Bog. There's a strong branch right above where she falls, and there are enough rocks in the Bog to get Sarah to safety. The world of the Labyrinth is built for Sarah because she's at the core of everything Jareth does and stands for. She has to get to the centre of the Labyrinth because the castle represents the core of Jareth's heart. Why else would he be so proactive the closer she gets, with the threats of danger becoming more real and yet she narrowly avoids harm every time? Jareth's mischief is just enough to scare but never enough to hurt Sarah. This over-seeing intervention in times of danger also happens when she jumps in the Escher room – Jareth gentles her descent so she lands delicately on her feet before he steps out through an alcove, implying that he was watching her and intervened when he needed to so that she wasn't hurt. It's no coincidence that all of her friends are able to help Sarah in some way! Sir Didymus' role is intellectual stimulation, giving Sarah the adult conversation she's craving, challenging her to challenge herself. She rises to the challenge every time, and Jareth's lesson here is that sometimes we just have to ask for help - “well, do I have your permission?” - sometimes things aren't always as they seem, but sometimes they are that simple. Family is loyal to family, which is chosen and not decided – Ludo and Sir Didymus are clearly different species, and yet they decide they are brothers and honour that throughout the rest of the film.

Instances in which he aided her progress through the Labyrinth because his real intention is to help her grow up, to help her become who she is supposed to be:

Had Hoggle stationed at the gate of the Labyrinth as her way in, but also as her first friend; we cannot travel through life or growth alone and a being as lonely as Jareth would know this. I feel like Hoggle represents Sarah's stubbornness & her inability to accept help or friendship when it comes from an honest place. “Hoggle is Hoggle's friend!” // “Hoggle, you coward!” - Sarah frequently says “it's not fair!” and doesn't accept responsibility for her actions, so here Jareth has prepared Hoggle to be Sarah's mirror – holding him up so that Sarah can see the error of her ways by observing her behaviour in someone else and realise why it's wrong. Also - “Who are you?” / “Sarah.” / “That's what I thought.” = Hoggle KNEW that Sarah was coming. The journey through the Labyrinth is one big lesson Jareth constructed, because stories have morals and they're meant to teach us about perspectives and other such things about life. So in a way, Jareth turned the powers he gave Sarah against her.

The worm at the wall who told Sarah how to get through the walls/access the actual Labyrinth instead of running through the outer walls; though, Jareth is a fae and Sarah needs to learn to be less naïve/stop taking things at face value so much, especially from strangers or people she doesn't know very well, so the worm lied about which way to go. Nothing is fair in life and this was Jareth's first little reminder for the important lesson. He said it himself - “You say that so often. I wonder what your basis for comparison is.” - which means, all the times he was in the park with her, he never quite figured that out = it's a part of Sarah she needs to work on, because if a silent spectator can't understand something revisited often, then it's likely not a valid viewpoint.

Hoggle frequently tells Sarah that she should give up, stop, turn back, not continue, and every time, Sarah snaps back and says she's not quitting or giving up, she's come too far. This links to my previous point about Hoggle, but here, Hoggle is showing Sarah that she can do something when she wants to, she can be responsible when she needs to be (by this stage of the film, she has accepted the consequences of her actions and has resolved to 'save' her brother from Jareth's very generous babysitting services), and that perseverance and a certain degree of being stubborn is necessary in life. The world doesn't stop when you're tired and Hoggle's role here is to nurture Sarah's resilience. She's already endured so much, “you've run so long, you've run so far” (Within you), and she can endure it better and easier when she has friends/a support network to get through it. Additionally, Sarah and Hoggle are both less resistant to each other's help and friendship as the film progresses – the reflection is completing itself, the mirror isn't needed so much as Sarah grows through the Labyrinth. Jareth has seen her potential through shining moments in Aboveground, and he's trying to help her reach it as best as he can, given he's a figment of her imagination and he knows it. By the end of the film, she's accepting her potential a little more, but isn't quite ready to step into it.

Ludo! His role is to reaffirm that things aren't always what they seem, and to teach Sarah that appearances are deceiving; Ludo is supposed to look scary, but in reality he's a big teddy bear who is resourceful (he uses rocks in times of trouble, or, translated into our world, he does what he can with what he has – an important lesson), afraid of the unknown but willing to venture forth if he has a friend beside him (and this humanises him in Sarah's eyes and makes it easier for her to befriend him), and he's bullied by others for things he can't control (i.e. being strung upside down because he's “a big yeti” and goblins like causing trouble). Ludo's role is to teach Sarah that face value isn't valuable all of the time, and his resourcefulness saves her multiple times. As the King of the Goblins, Jareth knows absolutely anything and everything which goes on in the Underground, and there is no way that he didn't deliberately choose the creatures he did to aid Sarah in her journey. They all fulfil a specific purpose and mirror a part of Sarah back to her so she can change her ways by seeing them in others and realising there's another way. Ludo is a big cuddly teddy bear who gives Sarah a hand to hold, he saves her, he keeps her company, and gives her some comic relief too. He may also be very slight practice for going back home to Toby, like when he gets the door handle stuck in his mouth and Sarah has to help him with it. Jareth here nurtures Sarah's kind nature – she makes friends everywhere she goes and is willing to forgive when Hoggle commits wrongs (abandoning her when they are afraid, giving her a poisoned fruit under the pretense of giving her actual food – which Sarah should have known not to accept, but sometimes we can't see the red flags even when they punch us in the face, and this may have been another lesson from Jareth, or perhaps it was his only way into fulfilling another of his roles; romance.)

This is where things start to fall apart for Jareth. When he says, “friends?” to Hoggle, the bitter undertone in his voice reeks of jealousy. He wants to at least be friends with Sarah, this human whom he's watching grow, but because of the multiple roles and challenges she has written for him to fulfil for her (as a figment of her own imagination, hence why he looks like David Bowie because, in the beginning, we see newspaper clippings of Sarah's mother with David Bowie, so there's a strange Electra-esque situation going on with Jareth looking like Sarah's mother's boyfriend), he's unable to be friends with her. His narrative has him being the villain, the challenger, the threat, the teacher, the nurturer, this all-knowing figure who holds a strange power over her (powers he gave her were then turned onto him and then turned back onto Sarah when she rejects him at the end), the suitor, and, above all else, the life lesson. Nowhere in the narrative she constructed is there room for friendship. He “can't live without her sunlight” (her attention on him), he “can't live without (her) heartbeat” (Within You) because Jareth literally exists within Sarah. He will dessicate inside her, shrivel up within her imagination and become a distant childhood figure as she grows up, while she will flourish and thrive because of everything he did for her when she was younger. And the worst of it is, Jareth is self-aware and he knows this, but he's doomed to do it all anyway because it's his narrative. He is a self-fulfilling prophecy, he's watching his own car crash and he's powerless to stop it because a teenage girl took the powers he gave her and made everything happen between them like it does. He does everything she asks of him, against his better judgement in some cases, and yet she still doesn't accept his love (which, if we follow the metaphor, is actually adulthood as a concept because he's nurturing her – another of his roles) and he's known all along that this doesn't end well for him (“don't tell me truth hurts, little girl, 'cuz it hurts like hell”) but he can't – or won't – try to change it.

The Garbage Lady who leads Sarah into a reproduction of her bedroom to try to trick her into thinking she is home until she opens her bedroom door – Jareth reminds her of what is important – her brother – and 'tests' her by presenting her with all of the material things she values in her bedroom; her childhood slippers and toys, but then she sees the Labyrinth book and she remembers her brother – she chooses reality over fiction and chooses responsibility over fiction, though she still leans into it when it is piled on top of her. Here, Jareth is showing her a balance between the two. They're both important, and they both have their place in helping us to do what we need to.

As The World Falls Down is a scene in which I think, while Jareth is fulfilling the role Sarah has given him as her suitor, he's also being quite vulnerable. Not with her, necessarily, he's teasing her by disappearing into the crowd and he makes her look for him. He makes her chase him, rather than him being the one who is chasing. And then, when he's had his fun, he finds her like he was watching her the entire time and knew exactly where she was and who she was with (notice that when the camera pans, he is always looking at her and barely glances at the other fae who address him in some way). He sweeps her into his arms and they dance. Sarah wanted romance and he was giving her that. In her bedroom at the beginning, Sarah has a ballerina figurine that looks exactly like Sarah does in this ballroom scene, and so parts of the Labyrinth – Sir Didymus' Ambrosius is her dog Merlin, she becomes in this scene that same figurine she has in her bedroom, she has an Escher wall poster in her bedroom, she has a grass maze, she has stuffed animals of the Fire Gang, she has a Hoggle puppet, she physically takes the same lipstick she applies in the beginning into the Labyrinth to guide her way... all these pieces of the Labyrinth which she encounters already exist in her bedroom, adding further evidence to my theory that the Labyrinth and, by extension, Jareth, are all figments of Sarah's imagination, with some added fuckery in that Jareth is the one who gave her the Labyrinth book, which is the source of the powers he gave her.

When they dance, Sarah falls into the illusion, she falls into the romance, but then like in Cinderella and as aforementioned in previous statements, the clock chimes and this shatters the spell, it breaks the dream, and Sarah frees herself. Jareth is visibly distressed, he looks so heartbroken and shattered because he knows no matter what he does, what role he performs for her or how good he does it, no matter what, Sarah is always going to reject him even though she is the one who assigned these roles to Jareth. He is under her spell, powerless to resist against his own powers – powers he gave her! How do you fight yourself? How can he convince Sarah when he only exists within her own mind and worse still, he knows this? He is doomed by his own narrative and it breaks his heart to follow it, but he has no choice. So he exhausts himself, as he states at the end, trying to live up to all the roles Sarah gives him, knowing the entire time that it's futile and he's not going to triumph.

That's not what Sarah wants – she wants a villain, he gave her one. She wanted an escape from a constantly crying baby – he gave her that. She wanted romance, mystery, intrigue, adventure, a good dose of 'safe' fear, friendship, companionship, he gave her all of that. But Sarah cannot give him the one thing Jareth wants – acceptance. Because he exists within her, and being a teenager is too tumultuous a time for Sarah to be able to accept herself, to accept that she needs to grow up and fight to be a better person, and she's not quite ready for that yet. Jareth knows Sarah will fight her way to his heart (the centre of the Labyrinth) and then destroy it – the Escher room dismantles when she jumps, effectively choosing her brother over Jareth. His love for Sarah destroys him, but aids Sarah in becoming someone more mature, wiser, and kinder. When Sarah breaks away from him in this scene and literally shatters the dream he gave her, is when Jareth starts to realise that he's been doomed from the start. Sarah wants pretense, she wants an escape. When Jareth shows her the reality of who he is (or, in the metaphor, the reality of reality), she rejects him, she rejects what it means to be an adult, and thereby chooses to be a child for a little longer. One who is more responsible, sure, but still. Jareth understands this, he knows why it happens the way it does, and though he pleads, the look on his face when he throws the crystal up in the air is ultimately,

“We could have had so much fun together”.

Additionally, there is a deleted scene where Sarah rejects him, but then he smiles right before he throws the crystal into the air. It's a proud smile, which lends support to my theory that he is using the journey through his Labyrinth to teach Sarah, to help her to be a better sister and daughter. She rejects him, and he's heartbroken by it, but he's proud of her too, though he knows he's doomed to just wither away within her. He's a complicated being, so full of grey areas, he's spoilt and ironically as childish as Sarah is, but that's why he's able to fulfil all those roles so well, and apply a mirror between her and the world she explores – self-reflection is, after all, taking a look at oneself, and Jareth has spent so much time with Sarah Aboveground while she rehearses her favourite scenes in Labyrinth that he's come to understand her, though he doesn't agree with everything; and that's why he put this journey into motion.

Another thing I find interesting is how, at the gates of the castle (at the gate of the core of Jareth's heart), is a very menacing scary metal contraption designed to invoke fear and keep people away from getting through the gates. And yet, Hoggle is able to intervene and prevent the attack, and once they're all through the gates, the goblin army don't seem to take it very seriously at all. I have no doubt that, if they needed to, goblins could and would cause serious harm, and yet really they just annihilate themselves and make it very easy for Sarah and her friends to make their way into the castle. This suggests that it's all what's on the surface – they don't treat Sarah like a threat because she isn't one – by this point, Jareth has accepted his own ultimate role is to lose in a love he was written to feel, and he wants her to succeed in running his Labyrinth, he wants her to triumph and become better and learn from him. He wants her to get her brother back, because her brother isn't the point of it all – Jareth only took Toby because Sarah asked him to. The point of it all is for Sarah to grow, to learn how to grow up, to learn to be stronger and kinder and wiser so she can grow up, and that is why Jareth makes it quite easy for her to get through the city into the castle. He only watches from the window, he does nothing to help his goblins or to help Sarah. He just watches from his window, looking down at life happening but doing nothing to stop it.

Once Sarah gets to the castle, it's quiet, still. No more resistance from Jareth, just a final plea to delay the inevitable. “I have to face him alone, that's the way it is done” - here, he is once again a villain, staged for the final confrontation, and Sarah has painted herself as the heroine. Likely because she has little to no control in her real life over anything, so in her head she writes herself to be heroic on adventures, saving other people in a way she wishes she could be saved. In Within You, “your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel” - again, he's showing the parallel within them, his first declaration of them as equals, because writers always put a piece of themselves in the stories they write, and Sarah, as Jareth's writer, is no different.

Jareth is so tired in the final scene, all of his masks and roles are discarded, though Sarah still recites from the Labyrinth. Before, Sarah backed away from Jareth, but now he is backing away from her, though he pleads with her to accept him (her dreams, her fiction). The power is now hers, and she knows it. He knows it. The crystal ball turns into a bubble, which breaks at Sarah's touch. Jareth's world shatters, he returns to existing only within her, and Sarah takes away all of the wisdom and lessons and experiences he gave her. I find it interesting how “I need you, all of you” should include Jareth too, but he sits on the outside looking in once again, forced only to watch, and no longer able to participate in her world. The boundaries have changed, Sarah admits she still needs her childhood fantasies and stories to help her with real life, but the narrative she wrote for Jareth is set in stone.

When Sarah's world fell down, Jareth caught her (the comfort of fiction) but when his world implodes, no one is there to break his fall.

Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl, because it hurts like hell...

[linkspooky]

Kusakabe the Last Man Standing

Is Kusakabe going to defeat Sukuna all by himself?

Probably not. I fully expect Maki and Yuji to get back up and join the fight. However, Kusakabe is a character that has been slept on for awhile and with him being reluctantly shoved into the spotlight I think it's time to write a meta analyzing him. Especially since the revelation that Kusakabe is the strongest first grade fighter didn't come out of nowhere, in fact Gege has been building up Kusakabe in the background for quite some time which I'll explore under the cut.

So Okay, He's Average

I want to begin this analysis by saying that Kusakabe represents a type of character that Jujutsu Kaisen is desperately in need of. He's just a normal guy. He's our only example of an everyman character. Usually in manga the protagonist serves as the everyman character, especially ones like Yuji who come from a normal life and are being introduced to a fantastical world for the first time, but Yuji ain't normal. Someone who willingly eats a finger that may kill him just so he can be useful and save a stranger isn't normal. Gojo has Yuji pegged as one of the crazy ones within the first few chapters.

Gojo says that sorcerers have to be crazy, that the best Jujutsu Sorcerers need to be broken in the head otherwise they can't get over their fear of curses and risk their lives fighting them on a daily basis. The cast is full of eccentrics, Gojo the strongest of all isn't even able to relate to other human beings, Sukuna is termed a calamity, Yuta kisses cockroaches without hesitation there's not a normal one in the whole bunch.

The ones that are normal, like Miwa who acts like an average high school girl, has no technique, and Mai who desperately craves to be a normal girl and doesn't want to be a jujutsu sorcerer, either are minor characters or they die.

You could say Ijichi provides the point of view as a normal character, but he's a minor character at best and uninvolved in the plot. Then there's Nanami, who represents the typical japanese salaryman. However, Nanami is extraordinary in that he is far more moral than all of his coworkers, such as returning to be a sorcerer because the work helps people instead of keeping his cushy job, and prioritizing the lives of children over himself.

Us mediocre and average people are in desperate need for representation. Cue, Kusakabe.

His introduction clearly demonstrates his attitude is different from most sorcerers, rather than running straight into danger, Kusakabe is trying to search for an excuse to stay out of danger where it's safe. While it's cowardly, it's also what a normal person would do in this situation. We are so used to sorcerers who either risk life and limb without a thought for the sake of other people like Nanami or Yuji, or sorcerers who enjoy the fight like Gojo that Kusakabe stands out.

Miwa who is basically the example of the normal girl among the teenagers shares several parallels with Kusakabe, they're both simple domain masters without cursed techniques, they're both self serving, and also Kusakabe is her teacher and probably the one who recruited her considering he shows up to save her at the end of Shibuya.

Kusakabe is meant to represent what a normal person with common sense would do in the world of Jujutsu, but that doesn't mean he's weak. As I stated above Gege has actually been building up Kusakabe's strength in the background for quite awhile.

When training with Yuji, Gojo first brings up that some sorcerers rely on their techniques too much and that Yuji doesn't necessarily need a fancy technique to win, he can overcome them by learning to control his cursed energy and then using it to strengthen his already amazing martial arts skills and physical prowess.

The Big Three clans like tend to overvalue inherited techniques too, the downfall of the Zen'in is that they didn't recognize the strength of people like Maki and Toji with no cursed energy because they believed their cursed techniques to be inherently superior.

In Mechamaru's fight against Mahito, Gege makes a big deal spending an entire page explaining the history and mechanics of simple domains. There's obviously no need to put this much attention into detail to explain simple domains unless they're going to come into play later, and while Miwa uses them as stated above she's a minor character.

A technique called the "Domain for the Weak" what better technique for a normal guy like Kusabe, who is stuck in a cast of super-human characters. When fighting with Yuji, Mei Mei compares Yuji to Kuskabe.

"You're on par with a grade-1 sorcerer at this point. To be this good without a cursed technique... I think you're the only one since Kusakabe."

To further compare him to Mei Mei, Mei Mei monologues about how because her cursed technique of controlling birds is weak she tried to strengthen her body. However, eventually she hit a brick wall and couldn't get any stronger and reach Grade-1 on her efforts alone. Which is when she decided to start using Ui Ui as a tool to make herself stronger by making binding vows between him and herself to strengthen her, in addition to inventing her suicide crow technique.

However, Kusakabe is even stronger than Mei Mei and he managed to reach that level by himself without needing to groom and manipulate a child.

Kusakabe also spends all of Shibuya avoiding getting in a fight with a special grade cursed spirit, and yet at the end of Shibuya he ends up tanking an Uzumaki Maximum from Kenjaku at point blank. Kenjaku even praises him.

This is the same Kenjaku who can use Suguru Geto's cursed technique even better than Geto can, and who wiped the floor with Choso while bragging that a cursed spirit that's ranked Grade-1 like Choso could never go one on one with a special grade. We never saw Kusakabe directly fight Kenjaku (he would probably run in the opposite direction if given the chance) but the fact that he can use a simple domain to cancel out one of Geto's strongest techniques point blank is really telling.

All the while having relatable thoughts like this one. In a lot of ways, Kusakabe reminds me of Todo, someone who Gojo mentioned as being one of the next up and coming star students alongside Hakari, and Yuta. Todo has a cursed technique that's simple but effective, but he also fights similiar to Yuji by his expert control of cursed energy. Todo fights mainly with his fists and martial arts and his impressive knowledge of how cursed energy moves though the body, his cursed technique gives him an added bonus.

Up until this point in the manga though Todo is the most knowledgable about cursed energy, he teaches it Yuji very easily and explains it in ways Yuji can understand. Fighting alongside Todo also brings out Yuji's full potential as a sorcerer. Todo is all muscle, but he fights with his head and is the smartest student in Kyoto.

All of this to say, Kusakabe's strength without a cursed technique can be explained by relating him to Todo. In the Gojo vs. Sukuna fights who is the main voice explaining to both the other students at Jujutsu High and the audience just how the battle is going down.

Kusakabe is not in there in the field, he's watching it on TV, and yet somehow he can disect and explain to the others how both Sukuna and Gojo are using high level Jujutsu Techniques. This is Sukuna and Gojo we're talking about, two geniuses who are the height of jujutsu and can often improvise and make up new techniques on the fly and yet Kusakabe is able to keep up with what's going on.

Kusakabe gives the play by play, he somehow knows what falling blossom emotion is even though he's not from one of the three big families. He explains to Hakari and Higuruma who are natural geniuses who don't quite understand how their powers work, how Gojo can change the conditions of his barrier and how exactly he made the barrier smaller.

Remember Kusakabe is also a teacher at Jujutsu High. Unlike Gojo who doesn't try to explain basic concepts to Yuji because he's such a genius, Kusakabe is also educating all of the students here and phrasing these high level techniques in ways they can understand. You can't really do that unless you yourself have an intimate understanding of the subject matter.

What I mean to say is by putting Kusakabe in charge of the discussion, Gege is demonstrating that Kusakabe is a character who understands the mechanics of cursed energy and domains on practically the same level as Todo who as we said is considered a prodigy. This is also some clever foreshadowing, because Kusakabe here seems like he's still a background character because all he's doing is essentially expositing to the audience and yet... how impressive must he be if he understands all of these advanced domain techniques when he's just a guy with a sword and no cursed techniques that uses simple domains.

Kusakabe also understands Higuruma's legal talk in about ten seconds, and can explain the mechanics of Higuruma's domain and why their plan to put Sukuna on trial might not work. He is much smarter than he seems at first glance, Miwa even makes a joke about it. He even analyzes Sukuna's techniques after facing them head on once - and he's the only one who notices how odd it is that Sukuna's not using his fire technique like in Shibuya.

Sukuna mentions that Kusakabe along with everyone else's cursed energy reinforcement techniques must be on another level if they're able to stand up to his slashes (even if they're in a weakened state right now). After all, Ishigori who was not only one of the strongest fighters of his era but was also hyped up for his massive pool of cursed energy that rivaled Yuta's was torn to pieces by Sukuna's slashes.

Kusakabe also seems to be the one in charge of the strategy for the fight (though it was Angel's idea to let Takaba handle Kenjaku, maybe they're both coordinating but Kusakabe is definitely leading them in the field).

My point being, as much as he's accused of handling his large cast Gege is often able to give a lot of characterization in a limited screentime. Kusakabe is more than he appears to be, and it's clever how Gege built up his importance without anybody noticing, because Higuruma himself likes to avoid conflict, hide in the background and is constantly downplaying his own talents. Ino even made another joke about it last chapter.

The commonly held view is that the sorcerers who reject their humanity and only care about refining their technique are the ones who become the strongest sorcerers. However, Kusakabe was able to climb to the top of the Grade One sorcerers despite lacking that attitude.

In my opinion, Jujutsu Kaisen is fundamentally about balance, so while there's a definite trend of Sorcerers who resemble Sukuna are the ones who become stronger - it's not presented as the only way to be strong. Yuji only defeated Mahito by cooperating with Todo. On top of that, Sukuna while finding Yuji boring admits that Yuji a mostly selfless person still demonstrates an indomitable will that Sukuna can't break no matter how hard he tries.

If Sukuna represents the thesis that the only way to become strong is to throw away all your humanity and become wildly selfish, then Kusakabe represents the antithesis as a mostly normal person (if a bit cowardly and self interest) who somehow climbed the ranks over people like Mei Mei who represent the kind of selfish monster Sukuna is.

This is actually the pattern for most of the Sukuna fights this arc too. Gojo and Hajime both represent the desire to be understood, and Sukuna rejects both love and says he doesn't need people to understand him because he understands himself.

Yuji is a human who is mostly selfless, and has inherited the curse of his fellow comrades as sorcerers, specifically carrying on the torch for Nanami who is also content to be a cog in the machine if it means he can help his fellow sorcerers out. Sukuna is a selfish monster, who is an individualist and sees other people as toys to amuse himself with.

Higuruma is a genius on the level of Gojo Satoru, but when challenged by Sukuna he ends up sacrificing himself instead in a direct parallel to Nanami in order to pass the torch onto Yuji.

Yuta's domain is literally called "authentic and mutual love" and Sukuna said to Hajime that he understands exactly what love is and he still rejects it. Sukuna's entire philosophy revolves around rejecting the love and friendship, while Yuta only fights for the sake of his friends, and can't believe that his life is worth living without people in his life who love him.

Sukuna gives a whole speech on how by rejecting cursed energy, and using a heavenly restriction to push her body to the peak of physical strength a human can achieve, she's forcing a role on Sukuna to compete with her as the peak of sorcery to determine which one is better.

Now it's Kusakabe turn to have a role in this fight too. While Maki has no cursed energy, she doesn't really represent humans because she's you know, a she-hulk. Kusakabe might be the most human character present that's willing to face down Sukuna. Kusakabe is the most human character someone who climbed this high without being born with any technique, Sukuna is the most inhuman monster in the series, a calamity that Yuji refers to as a true curse.

Gege even threw in these callbacks to Gojo panels.

That in itself might be foreshadowing that maybe Kusakabe stands a better chance against Sukuna then anyone in the audience thinks. As the number #1 Kusakabe stan, I'm definitely willing to bet on those odds!

[yandere-romanticaa]

I don't think some people understand just how absolutely terrifying Mori is and I want to talk about it.

When you meet him it will most likely be in a casual place such as the street or the mall with Elise by his side, naturally. The little girl takes a swift liking to you and basically demands Mori to convince you to play with her and he obeys. It is honestly a little humiliating seeing a grown man beg for something like that but it is endearing in its own little way. Feeling bad for them both you agree and promptly make your way towards the playground where the three of you spend the day together, responsibilities be damned.

Before you know it, the physician and his daughter become something of a semi often occurence in your life.

Mori himself is silly - tripping all over his words, especially if Elise says something to him. There are times when the little girl says some of the most concerning things totally out of the blue but Mori always manages to shut her up, which feels out of character for him.

It feels like some sort of secret that you really should not hear but you decide not to pay any attention to it. Everyone has secrets to keep, a skeleton or two deeply hidden in their closets, you don't judge Mori for this.

He is greatly pleased with your easygoing attitude.

Mori often sits in his pitch black office, the scent of fine chocolates and cigarette smoke lingering in the air as his subordinates give him their reports but his mind is elsewhere.

He's half paying attention to the executive's words as he grabs a tiny heart shaped chocolate from the pristine red box, its surface shining brightly against the light that is lit close to him. He pops is in his mouth and savors the milky flavour, the sweet strawberry centre giving it that extra delightful kick which he oh so craves.

Mori indulges in the sweets and thinks of you as he does so. Yes, this is something you would love.

The gifts start pouring and pouring, each one more extravagant than the last. They range from fine sweets, good wine, beautiful clothing and letters which detail the senders feelings towards you. The sender never bothered to sign the letters but always made sure to add something like I'm always watching or Sleep well.

It was creepy.

You tell Mori about some of the gifts that are left on your doorstep but never go into full detail as you're too nervous of scaring him off. The older man always somehow manages to laugh the entire sitation away and tells you to not so worry so much. Don't you know that some people would kill to have someone so helplessly in love with them? He sits on your couch, legs crossed and with a cup of tea in his hands, which you served him of course. You talk and talk and his words give shallow comfort especially as time goes by.

Was he being too forward? Did the gifts not suit your preferences? With a sigh he just waves off his men, all while thinking to himself "Ridiculous, of course they love it!"

Mori thinks you're just shy. You just are not used to someone paying so much attention to you, especially to the extent that Mori is. He has eyes and ears everywhere, your apartment is under constant surveillance and not to mention that the apartment itself is bugged, allowing Mori to hear you speak and do your other daily activities.

He knows you better then you know yourself.

It does not take Mori insert himself in your life in more personal ways. No matter who, Mori always somehow manages to make the people around him look worse than he is and in a flash he orchestrates the downfall of your whole entire life. You lose your job, your home, your friends and family no longer speak to you.

Some, if not all are dead but you don't need to know that.

That is when he comes to you, when you are at your weakest, your most vulnerable. He drops the silly act like a mask and his true colours are exposed.

Mori Ougai is a monster.

But, would you rather sell your soul to a monster or be left in the streets alone, unloved and penniless? Truly, your life would be so much easier if you just submit to him and look, you don't even need to do that much! Eat the food he feeds and wear the nice clothes he gets you and you will be golden!! Just, be still and pretty, alright?

It's honetly so jarring to see Mori's personality shift - one minute he is the silly doctor you met and grew to like, the man who says dumb things in order to make you laugh, the man who was willing to beg on his knees for you to just please, wear this cute outfit, it is going to look so good on you he promises!!

And yet, the next moment he is cold, cruel and calculating, the head of the Port Mafia. He is a man of his word and his subordinates greatly admire and fear him, yes, fear. Do not forget that Kyouka literally started shaking when she saw him after she left the Port Mafia, almost everyone who is in close contact with the man is never the same person they were once before. He will make himself out to be the best possible option and you know that he is the reason why your life is in shambles but that's not even the worst bit.

It is the fact that you have two options. Do you go to the streets and die in the darkness, be it from starvation, dehydration or murder? Or, do you stay with Mori who all but guarantees your safety and comfort, under the condition that you can never leave?

He knows you hate him and he is perfectly content with that. You will choose him in the end, you always will.

That is what keeps you both up at night, one with glee while the other with terror.

🕊️ TAGS: @yanroma, @oneoftheprettynerds, @rosemary108233, @itssara-chan, @gettinshiggywithit, @ophticcus

[corruptedcaps]

Bad Influence: Part 3

Part one. Part two.

Isabel rushed to her car, her breath ragged as she caught herself on the hood of it, gripping the edge tightly. She stared at her reflection in the windshield, trying to steady her racing heart. “It’s just these hormones. This younger body is messing with me, making everything feel out of control.” She reasoned, her mind whirling

She needed to get out of there, she needed to get away from Jonas, away from her rising desire for him. She went for her keys and realized they were with her regular clothes which were in Jonas’ car. She cursed herself.

Just as she was feeling her lowest she heard the slow click of heels coming her way. Turning from her reflection she saw Stacey saunter over to her alone. She had a wicked grin that Isabel had seen her wear a hundred times over, it always preceded nothing good.

Stacey got up to her and roughly turned the wing mirror out so she could better see her own reflection. She causally pulled out a lip gloss and touched up her makeup in the mirror. Without looking at Isabel, she said, “It won’t last, you know?”

Isabel blinked, her stomach twisting with confusion and dread. “What won’t?” She asked, her voice barely steady.

Stacey met her gaze in the mirror. “This. The attention, the way the girls admire you, the way guys lust after you. You’ll leave here tomorrow and all eyes will be back on me, as they should. You’re just a slutty distraction.”

Isabel felt a strange, hot surge of rage bubbling up inside her. She tried to bite it back but found herself fighting what Stacey was saying.

“She’s right, tomorrow I’ll be back to normal and won’t have to deal with any of this high school drama, but then why do I want to slap that bitch in the face? Who does she think she is speaking to me like that?” She thought. But logic was slipping away as something deeper clawed at her. Stacey’s words stung in a way Isabel couldn’t explain.

Stacey continued applying her lip gloss, her tone casual but cutting. "Jonas will dump you soon, you know. He’ll get bored and upgrade to a better model." She smirked and glanced sideways at Isabel. "He’ll be with me, eventually. I always get what I want."

Stacey didn’t know it but she had inadvertently just breathed life into her own downfall. Isabel looked into the windshield, and her reflection stared back at her, young, gorgeous, confident. The girl looking at her wasn’t the middle-aged teacher who had spent years keeping her life in order. She was Bella, a force to be reckoned with. Bella didn’t get pushed aside. Bella didn’t lose. Bella definitely didn’t let a girl like Stacey steal her man.

Jonas belonged to her.

The thought solidified in her mind as her grip on the hood tightened. Her eyes flashed with a possessiveness that startled even her, but the feeling wouldn’t go away. In fact it started to turn her on. The part of her that was Isabel was trying to fight the feelings bubbling up inside her but Bella wanted more. She craved more.

She imagined herself strutting down the hall with Jonas, the undisputed king and queen of high school while her clique of friends followed obediently behind her. She realized in that moment that as Isabel the teacher she just had the illusion of power, but as Bella the bratty student, she had real power.

She looked over her reflection once again and examined her body with new vanity. Perfect hair, perfect tits, perfect lips. She remembered the stolen kiss she and Jonas just had and her pussy started to get wet. Why deny herself this gift? Why deny herself a man like Jonas?

Her eyes drifted over to Stacey and cruel thoughts crept into her mind. Who did this bitch think she was telling her what she could and couldn’t do?! Stacey was jealous of how easily Bella had everyone around her finger.

Without breaking her gaze from the windshield, she whispered to herself, “I am Bella.” The words seemed to solidified the identity in her mind. Isabel becoming a distant memory.

Stacey’s eyes narrowed as she didn’t hear the whispered words. “What did you say?” She asked, her tone sharp.

Bella smirked at her own reflection, a wave of cold confidence washing over her. She felt a strange thrill, as if she had fully slipped into her new role. She remembered every queen bee that had sat in her class, every alpha girl that had roamed the halls and she channeled everyone of them. She removed her pigtails, shaking her hair out as if symbolically shaking away any lingering part of Isabel inside of her.

Slowly, she turned to face Stacey, her voice low and dripping with certainty.“Jonas is mine. He will always be mine. Why would he settle for fast food when he’s got five-star sitting right on his lap every day?” She said, her eyes locking onto Stacey’s with an unwavering intensity.

Stacey’s mouth twitched, caught off guard by Bella’s audacity.

Stacey rolled her eyes and turned back to the mirror, fixing her hair with an air of superiority. "Whatever, bitch. Once you're gone, back to your own school or wherever you came from, Jonas will be lonely. And guess who’ll be there to console him? Me." She muttered, more to convince herself.

Bella smiled sweetly at Stacey’s reflection, but a dangerous glint flickered in her eyes. Without warning, she reached out, grabbed Stacey by the ponytail, and yanked hard, pulling her down to her knees. Stacey gasped, her confident facade crumbling in an instant.

"You're not taking anything from me." Bella whispered, her voice cold and steady.

Stacey winced, trying to pull away. "Let go, you psycho!" She hissed, panic creeping into her voice.

Instead of releasing her, Bella tightened her grip, leaning down to whisper in Stacey’s ear. "Oh, I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I’m transferring to this school to be with MY man full-time. And guess what, loser? I’m going to take over this place. I’ll be the new queen bee, and you? You’ll be nothing." Bella said with a sinister smile.

Stacey’s eyes widened in fear, her confidence shattered as Bella’s words settled in. Bella relished the power she now held, fully embracing her new role.

Bella’s grip remained firm as she leaned even closer, her voice dripping with authority. “Now, I’ll let you go, but only after you tell me who Jonas belongs to.” She whispered menacingly.

Stacey, still on her knees, looked up at Bella with wide, fearful eyes. She hesitated, her pride battling with the fear coursing through her. Bella yanked her ponytail just a little harder, causing Stacey to wince.

"Say it!" Bella demanded.

Stacey’s voice shook as she finally muttered, “Jonas… Jonas belongs to you.”

With a satisfied smirk, Bella released her grip, watching Stacey crumble as she scrambled to her feet, defeated.

Bella stepped over Stacey with a confident smirk, her heels clicking against the concrete. She spotted Stacey's abandoned lip gloss on the ground, picked it up, and casually opened it. With deliberate care, she applied a generous layer to her own lips, savoring the moment. “Perfect.” She whispered.

Bella strutted back in the direction of where she had left Jonas, her heels echoing in the empty parking lot as a new sense of power coursed through her. She felt unstoppable, like she had been reborn. The girl who had entered the school that morning was gone. Now, there was only Bella.

As she turned the corner, Jonas spotted her and rushed up, his expression conflicted. “Isabel, there you are. I’m sorry, this was wrong. I shouldn’t have done this, and I’ll reverse it right now.” He said, his voice full of regret as he went to his ring.

Bella put a hand over his ring as her lips curled into a seductive smile. She placed a finger gently on his lips. “Shhh baby, Isabel is long gone. It’s only Bella now.” She purred, her tone dripping with confidence.

Jonas blinked, confused, but before he could say another word, Isabel leaned in close, her breath hot against his skin. With newfound lust burning in her eyes, she closed the distance between them and kissed him, her lips pressing against his with a fierce, possessive hunger.

For a moment, Jonas seemed to resist, but then he melted into the kiss, lost in the intensity of her. Bella knew in that moment that Jonas was hers, and nothing would change that now.

Breaking away from the kiss Jonas only managed a ‘whoa’.

“If you like that baby wait until you see what I can do on my knees.” She grinned seductively as she led him away to somewhere more private.

EPILOGUE

"After that, I was unstoppable." Bella’s voice echoed in her mind as she reflected on those days from the future. "I started school there the very next day and quickly asserted myself as the new queen. The old social order crumbled before me, and the school became my kingdom."

She paused, remembering how effortlessly she slipped into the role of alpha, the power she wielded intoxicating. "As a teacher, I was weak, pathetic, trapped in a life of monotony, overlooked and forgotten. But as Bella, I had the life I deserved. I wasn’t confined by the rules anymore. I set them."

She could still see the way Jonas looked at her, not with the lack of respect he had given her as a teacher, but with raw admiration and desire. Over the years she would occasionally slip back into the role of Isabel Parker, but those moments were part of bedroom roleplay and that Isabel was far naughtier than her previous incarnation.

Bella leaned back in her chair, a satisfied smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she looked at her daughter, Madison. The girl was lounging on Bella’s bed, scrolling through her phone with a familiar air of confidence and boredom.

"I know, Mom! You've told me this story a thousand times about how you and dad met but how does this help me with my teacher problem?"

Bella chuckled softly, amused by her daughter’s impatience. Madison was a chip off the old block, that was for sure. Bratty, beautiful, and completely unapologetic about it. Bella had raised her well. To well in fact as her daughter was now in hot water at school for bullying. Bella loved that about her. In fact, both she and Jonas were more than proud of the young bitch she had become.

She smiled indulgently at Madison. "You're our princess darling. Strong, unstoppable, and far too important to let some teacher get in your way."

Madison glanced up from her phone, eyes gleaming with recognition as Bella's words sank in. Bella rose gracefully from her chair and walked over to her vanity, feeling the strength in her body, the same confidence she had carried since that day Jonas first changed her. She examined her reflection with a critical eye, smirking at the image of a woman who, despite her age, looked as flawless as ever.

Bella was still the picture of youth and beauty, thanks to the wealth Jonas had poured into the best trainers and plastic surgeons money could buy. She and Madison were often mistake for sisters. She knew how to maintain her edge, and she intended to teach her daughter the same.

Opening a drawer in the vanity, Bella pulled out a sleek box, her smirk widening. "Now, let me show you exactly how to handle your little problem." She said, turning back to Madison,

Bella opened the box and held up a ring, its gleaming surface catching the light as she turned it slowly between her fingers. Madison, intrigued, set down her phone and leaned forward, her eyes narrowing. "Is that…?" She asked, her question trailing off.

Bella smiled, the memory of its power still vivid in her mind. "Yes, darling, is something that’s been in Jonas’ family for generations. It’s the very same ring that changed me, turned back the years on your once-ordinary mother and made me into the vision of perfection you see now."

Madison’s brow furrowed as she looked from the ring to her mother. "Okay, but what am I supposed to do with that?"

Bella’s smile widened as she walked closer, placing the ring delicately into Madison’s palm. "Meet with your teacher. Make him… more suitable for your needs. After all, every princess needs a prince."

Madison blinked, her mouth parting into a bitchy smile as the weight of the ring settled in her hand. "What if he refuses? What if he’s still a loser when he changes?"

Bella smirked. "He’ll either be a handsome bastard whose arrogance will corrupt him or he’ll be a horny simp for you. Either way, you win my love."

Madison hugged her mother tight and both felt a welling of pride for their wicked relationship.

THE END

[iamnmbr3]

I find very interesting that both Draco and Harry seem to get each other so well even though they barely know one another.

Honestly this is what fascinates me the most about their dynamic, because while Draco serves as Harry's foil, their parallels are just so symbolic.

Both children of a war they didn't choose, both boys fated to pay for the sins of those that came before, both loyal, both marked by something. Harry using Draco's wand (that worked so well for him) to defeat Voldemort.

And really, Draco is the kind of challenge Harry loves. Canon Harry didn't want admires (which is why is so beyond me that he'd end with Ginny of all people). Harry wanted someone that understood him, that would stand up to him when they thought he was being an idiot, and who in the whole saga we know does that?

So yeah, ironic that J.K. R unintentionally wrote that lmao

I completely agree! The parallels are fascinating on a thematic and character development level and are part of what makes the idea of a relationship between them so interesting and compelling to explore. Also, on a practical level it means that they have a surprising amount of shared experiences that would help them bond and understand each other in a way that is really quite unique. Each in his own way is surprisingly isolated and internal despite being seemingly surrounded by many people and I think they could reach each other in a very special way.

I also totally agree about it being strange that Harry ended up with a fangirl. Controversial take but imho Ginny's shallow admiration of Harry isn't really that different from Romilda Vane's. They're both kind of obsessed with the idea of Harry without actually knowing much about the reality of him. (In book 5 Ginny was starting to overcome this and was getting to know the real Harry while also coming into her own but then she very much backslides in book 6 and 7. Also while Ginny did make some progress Harry really didn't. He never learns much about her or her interests, fears, hopes, dreams etc.)

Draco (prior to his family's downfall) spends a lot of his life surrounded by sycophants and admirers and yet he doesn't really respect them and seems to crave a real friendship. After all, even before he knows who Harry is he tries to reach out to him in Madam Malkin's even though he obviously knows Harry isn't one of the children of the wealthy blood supremacist pureblood families who are already familiar to him. Because perhaps he wants something more, something real.

And similarly Harry doesn't want to be worshipped or feared. Part of what draws him to Cho initially is the way she can match and challenge him at Quidditch (who does that sound like?) and her humor and sassiness when they play each other. He likes someone who can push back and challenge and interest him and match his wit. And this isn't Ginny. That's Draco. Perhaps someday Harry reflects on how Ginny always did what he wanted and said what he respected, and Draco never does, and somehow that has made all the difference.