#I could talk about them all day honestly

[emblazons]

"If you touch her again, I will kill you. Again."

Favorite Story Arc: The Growth of El & Max's Relationship part i for @magentamee (and @nivy14)

[hellogoodbyeitsme]

Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Between Sonic and Tails, who do you think would end up confessing their feelings first?

Good question. Definitely depends upon the iteration and context, but for the most part (at least in my head) getting either of them to confess (and in some cases even ruminate on their feelings and admit to themselves the nature of them) is hard

Like, for example, I personally think that game!Sonic (and post sgw Archie Sonic and IDW Sonic) kind of take Tails' presence for granted in a way. To them, it will always be the two of them (Sonic and Tails). The ideal future is that they keep on hanging out and still fight side by side sometimes and that even if Sonic goes it alone he can always come back from his adventures to chill with Tails or crash at his place. In other words, in Sonic's fantasies of the future, things like getting married or raising families or anything like that are just kind of tacked on as something that will just kind of be true at best and ignored at worst. If he even considers a future where things are a bit different because Tails is together™ with someone, to him it's only natural that Tails would be in his life the same way and nothing would really change. And so to that end, even if Sonic DOES realize his own feelings, he probably wouldn't see any good reason to confess. It would make things more complicated, especially if Tails doesn't share those feelings, and he doesn't have to worry anyways because Tails will always prioritize the two of them and be at his side, right?

And then it's even worse for versions of Sonic more akin to, say, pre sgw Archie Sonic. This is because in addition to the already existing unwillingness to change things and the assumption that he doesn't ever have to worry about no longer being the center of Tails' world (or a major figure in it at least), there is some palpable internalized homophobia within that hedgehog with an added complexity. For Archie Sonic in particular, I think even if he realized that he wanted to even be with Tails forever in a strictly non brothers fashion, he would feel mixed feelings about that (perhaps that coming out about it would ruin things or make things weird, or that getting together with Tails at any point would deprive him of "normalcy", or that he'd pressured Tails into it, or even just weird or a bit creepy).

As for Tails, I actually think that most iterations of him have figured their feelings out by this point. In all honesty, there's only so long you can go on fixating on someone and admiring them, and structuring your life around them before you realize your "I want to be with them" isn't just about simply admiring them. It's just that Tails' main obstacle to me is the avoidance of ruining anything.

On one hand, there's Sonic's avoidance to being tied down. We've seen time and time again Sonic rejecting people who pursue him openly or looking uncomfortable with them. Archie Sonic in particular made it clear that this version of Sonic couldn't stand the idea of not being able to freely be himself or adventure. He couldn't stand the idea of having to tie himself down and taking on extra responsibilities and expectations simply because he's with someone. I can see Tails being afraid that by confessing, he could scare Sonic away. If he happened to confess and Sonic thought Tails meant to stifle him or Sonic felt uncomfortable by that open expression, wouldn't that risk their relationship? Even if Sonic wouldn't go so far as to drop him as a best friend (which he never would do that for the record), there's still real fear in making things weird or different between himself and Sonic.

And that feeds right into the other hand. On the other hand, Sonic probably doesn't see him that way, right? Though Sonic is special to him and Sonic also cares for him back, at best Sonic has never thought about it and never will, or he just wouldn't feel the same (in Tails' eyes). With Archie Tails in particular, even if Tails gets over his own interlized homophobia about it and recognizes his feelings for what they are, he probably feels that there's no way to be anything different than a brother to Sonic, and thus confessing would be a terrible move. If Tails confesses and Sonic doesn't feel the same, it also runs the risk of making things weird between them or (in Tails' eyes) ruining it.

All this to say that my general opinion is that as long as things stay exactly the way they are forever, even if they start spending even more time together, I find it hard to believe either of the two will opt into confessing on purpose

But, with that being said, a confession is not an impossibility. I don't think either of the two are immune to being put in a position where they finally confess (and no, with the state of things for them, simply saying "I love you" will not count as a confession). And if we barred situations where like. They're literally about to die or one can do anything they like without the other (or themselves) remembering the outcome, I actually can give you an answer

And honestly, if one of them had to confess eventually, I believe it would probably end up being Sonic.

Why? Well, out of the two, Tails actually sits back and thinks about his emotions more often than not. I think even before he figured out the exact nature of his feelings he knew he felt very strongly for Sonic. But, no matter which media you're touching upon, I feel as if Tails fits into that archetype of "person who has been in love with their best friend since literally forever, but knows their best friend will never feel the same". The longer Tails ruminates on these feelings, the stronger he feels them, the more he watches Sonic (especially as someone who cares about plenty of people other than him), the more time he spends with Sonic, the less incentivized he feels to actually confess. Especially if Sonic would never feel the same, the best Tails can hope for is that things stay the same between them and Sonic never replaces his role.

Or in short, Tails is so in his head about it at this point, it's very hard to convince him that confessing is ever a good idea or necessary.

But while Tails is more obviously attached to Sonic, Sonic is much less obviously attached to Tails and other people as a whole. With him being "free as the wind" and the kind of figure he is, he kind of benefits from having the persona of a guy who doesn't need his friends but (nevertheless) can be assisted by them. He probably seems cool for being so strong and independent while equally caring that people live. But this doesn't mean Sonic doesn't have attachments (far from it). Rather, for Sonic, his attachments to others seem to naturally grow. And the more time he spends with them, the more he grows used to their presence. And especially with someone like Tails, who has been around as his companion the longest, he doesn't sit around long enough to consider that Tails would ever leave his side. Once he grows used to that person, he doesn't have to recognize his attachment or even think about the nature of his own feelings because it is and always has been whatever it is. So, in other words, even if he becomes more and more reliant on the fact that Tails will always be around or that Tails will always assist him, he doesn't have to admit more than "This is what our best friendship is. This is what it's like"

All of this is to say that while my idea of present Tails would be trying to do anything in his power to stay with Sonic (as long as Sonic is willing of course), even if that means never confessing the exact nature of his feelings for the hedgehog, Sonic isn't already thinking about these things. This means that while Tails has very few pathways to confession, Sonic has plenty!...if you scare him well enough.

For example, Idw Sonic has been more clearly spending more time with Tails (even baseline just. Crashing at his place more often) after the metal virus arc. Couple this with post neo metal incident 2 electric boogaloo idw Sonic who just wants to have a break and live peacefully for a minute, this is a Sonic who has become scared enough to want to indulge in spending more time with Tails. I also think that post Sonic Prime Sonic is also a version of him who would start to spend more time with Tails than before after having already lost him and having to deal with the Tails shaped hole in his life once.

So, if you got a Sonic to the point where he'd fully accepted his feelings and he felt like confessing them would be necessary to secure the future he wants, then he'd confess. Honestly, the easiest way I'd see this going about would be a story where Tails is framed as leaving him to go do something or be somewhere else, away for Sonic, possibly indefinitely, or if Sonic actually has to spend enough time without Tails after initially telling himself his own feelings wouldn't matter so long as Tails is happy wherever he is. But, if it came down to confessing being something that might actually bring Sonic to his desired future (especially if Tails rejecting him is no different from prolonging the separation they already have if he says nothing), then I think he could work up the courage to do it.

And in the end...I think it has to be Sonic. Although I on occasion enjoy fantasizing about moments where Tails can't take it anymore and confesses, only for Sonic to realize his own feelings in the process, I think that Sonic would have to be the one who confesses his feelings/wishes for the future for Tails to even believe that his pipe dreams are a possibility. I think it's Sonic who would need to pull Tails out of his head, because the probability that Tails works up the courage to confess is more unlikely.

So...yeah. In my head, Sonic is driven to a point where he confesses and pulls Tails out of his head about it.

[foxstens]

what do you mean kevin has the best grades

[hella1975]

so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment

[coloursflyaway]

YES. To the directors cut. Anything. Like, i love your works so whatever u give insight into is fine.

I think i found you with the wont fear love one and fell apart with this part first : And he smiles at Edwin, happy and certain and not at all like someone who is considers this a burden, and Edwin thinks, oh.

But the amount of love that was on the Posession one killed me for good so like HOW? How do you do that??? I dont usually fancy explicit fics but it was just?????? Idk. Anyway i think i ranted about that on the fic comments already but please directors cut (if ur okay with it) jajajjj

Have a nice day and thanks a lot!

Thank you so much!!! ♥♥♥ And sorry for the late reply, I didn't want to do this from my phone, sleep-deprived on my holiday 🙈 I love talking about them and about writing, so this is lovely and I appreciate it so much ♥

For Won't Fear Love, I kind started with the concept of Charles taking Edwin on dates and I had the misunderstanding in the last chapter planned, because I just thought it would be really cute if Charles had (metaphorically) wined and dined and courted Edwin for months and Edwin still wouldn't understand that they were a couple, because the thought that Charles could love him back would be so monumentous and unthinkably blissful that he wouldn't even entertain it without Charles spelling it out.

And I thought that Charles would probably have the time of his life taking Edwin on dates, planning out all these little things to make Edwin feel special, because I'd imagine that Edwin wouldn't really treat himself to things that often, or that easily. Charles obviously thinks he deserves the world, so I think he'd jump at the chance to show him that. And I truly think it would fit with his character to want to give them a chance and that it would be an adventure for him, something he'd want to work out if he saw a chance that it could.

Charles wants to make Edwin happy all the time; it would make Edwin happy if Charles loved him back. Edwin is the best, the most beautiful person in the world to Charles; if there was another way he could love him, wouldn't that be amazing?

That part you referenced, they had something kind of like that in the show on the rooftop - Charles quite obviously doesn't consider anything about Edwin a burden, including Edwin's love for him. And I do think that Edwin knows that, but I think he could just know it a little bit more still 😁

For Posession, I've written something vaguely similar for Good Omens, back in the season 1 days - I like writing smut for smut's sake, but touch can also be so much more. Charles is quite obviously a physically affectionate person, so I think not quite being able to touch the person he loves more than anything else would drive him a little bit insane.

He's kissed people before, both when he was alive and then Crystal, but none of them meant what Edwin means to him, so while feeling it up there would be fantastic (and enough with Crystal), I think he'd just be starving for anything more.

He loves Edwin so completely in the show already, I think that if you add a romantic component to that too, he'd just be starving for literally any little bit of Edwin he can have. I don't think he'd ever have enough of him, like, at all. He'd probably be happy just staring at Edwin for a day and a half and then he still wouldn't want to look away.

So, I think if you gave that boy any kind of physical touch, he'd go feral anyway, but the possibility to give Edwin pleasure? Oh. Oh. I think that would drive him insane completely, because doesn't Edwin deserve everything good in the world? Doesn't he deserve to be kissed and touched, especially if he has never experienced that before? And doesn't Charles want to be the person to let Edwin experience all of that?

So he'd just lose himself in that, giving Edwin pleasure and just drinking him in, every little sigh and moan and grasping of his hands, especially because he's not as good with words as Edwin is, so while he knows Edwin knows how much Charles loves him, he could show it like that. Like a completely new love confession in every kiss, every touch, every motion.

Nor sure if that explains anything at all, to be honest, but if you want to know anything else, pleeeeaaaase feel very free to ask!!

[alaskan-wallflower]

i love having synesthesia because i can just relax and listen to the outsiders cast make the most pretty scenery (i gotta draw it out)

[some-pers0n]

Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

some days the "fire off missiles because you hate yourself but do you know you're demolishing me" and "let all your damage damage me" and "I gave you all my best mes, my endless empathy" and "in the shade of how he was living" and "how much sad did you think I had in me?" just really fucking hit 😵‍💫🥴

[revelisms]

Braindumping about Silco and Vi, because these two are such fantastic narrative foils for each other—and, in the same breath, completely cut from the same cloth.

I keep wishing they had more scenes together, another square-off, something to put them head-to-head—because there's so much potential for them to counteract the layers of each other.

At the root of it all, Vander's looming between them, this monolith of a presence that ties their pasts together. But above that, still, we have Jinx—who not only is their driving tension, but their greatest possibility for reconnection.

Here, we have Vander's daughter—someone who, for all intents and purposes, has become what he wanted, but who has also been someone he saw too much of himself in; who he did his best to reshape, instead of enable, and who put him on a pedestal, and truly saw him as hers, more than perhaps anyone (except, well, Silco).

Vi treasured Vander, fully looked up to him as her father—and losing him shattered her. In between all the layers of it, there's this underlying thread in his actions towards her, a tension that just sits with her through Act 1—Do as I say, not as I do (or, rather, as I did).

Here, we also have Vander's partner—someone who knew him before, knew what he was, what he resented, and what he became, instead; and who bears the scars of what all their fallout grew to be. Someone who holds the memory of him tangibly, in multiple respects, as though it is something he physically cannot sever: Vander's knife, the Drop—and even, in some ways, Jinx.

Silco is still clinging to the idea of Vander, throughout the entire series. To the potential in their reunion at the cannery; to the reassurance of what he knew him to be (I knew you still had it in you; Vander wasn't the man you thought he was); to this need he has to still speak to him, even after everything.

But Vi was raised with the burden of being the eldest; being the one most capable of providing protection—and, as a consequence, with the burden of responsibility.

She's not only a sister to Jinx. She's a guardian to her—and in many respects, a stand-in mother. And Silco, as a surrogate father, is standing right in the middle of that. A roadblock between "Powder," as Vi knows her sister as, and "Jinx," as Silco knows his daughter to be.

Right at the forefront, we have so much conflict here. Vi is so similar to Vander, to the point that she is nearly his spirit incarnate—so much so that having her resurface from a presumed grave just sets fuel to fire for a vendetta Silco has never been able to snuff out.

But beneath that—far beneath that—they have so much in common. Vi's headstrong rebuttals in Act 1 about going against Piltover and striking them down, about being made to feel lesser her whole life and needing to fight against it, just sings with Silco's anger in the cannery (You'd die for the cause, but you won't fight for one?).

These are two kindred spirits, two revolutionaries willing to do anything for their city and those they love, and who aren't afraid to fight for it. Who want to fight for it.

But trapped between it all, we have Jinx. Someone Vi is not willing to sacrifice (i.e., her memory of Powder), and who Silco, by the end of the series, isn't willing to sacrifice, either (i.e., his loyalty to Jinx).

Vi, of course, could never fathom Silco being a father to Powder (how could she, after he is the reason Vander was taken from her?)—and looks for justifications for her hatred, in everything he does.

But the unfortunate truth of the matter is that for all Vander cherished and nurtured Vi as a vision of himself—so has Silco, to Jinx. He sees himself in her. He has empowered her, cherished her. He is so incredibly tender with her, in his own ways. And—for all his absolute faults, his skewed morals, his tunnel-visioned zealousy to achieve Zaun—he is a good father to Jinx, just as Vander was a good father to Vi.

The question I keep finding myself mulling over, though, is whether these two could find elements of that, once again, in each other.

There are so many things Silco isn't—not only in Vander's shadow, but simply in the character that he is. He doesn't come in swinging; he plots, he strategizes, he fights with words. He isn't a warm presence, or a jovial one; he's chilling, he's dry, he's distanced. There are countless contradictions one can draw between the two of them—and so many layers one can tease apart, on how their opposites attracted each other, how they worked (a balance that will no longer ever be).

But there are so many things Silco is. He's critical, he's fiercely rational, he knows how to weave a crowd around his finger with a single intonation. He admires the outcasts, the scrappers, those that have dredged through society to claw for what they can. He surrounds himself with them—and he operates alongside them, as an equal as much as an usurper.

He's a flavor of parenthood Vi didn't receive, but could have—the one that would have validated her need to fight; who would have taught her that strength comes in numbers, not in one's single ability to protect; who would have seen her snarkiness, her quick wit on her feet, and taught her to use it to her leverage.

The tragedy of the whole series is that Jinx needs them both to have balance in her life—to keep the tether of her child self and her trauma from splitting her apart at the seams—yet for Silco and Vi, as the narrative destines them for (and as it destined Silco and Vander for), any semblance of a connection between them is doomed for destruction.

There's too much they hold fiercely to themselves, in their own traumas, that they cannot set down—even for the sake of Jinx's needs. They are equally selfish, in that way. They want the version of Vander that they are not willing to let go of; and they want the version of Jinx that they know her to be.

But they could change. They could.

Silco did, by the end. Chose his daughter, his legacy, over the cause, over his vision of progress. And Vi did, too. Chose "peace," chose to set down the gauntlets, chose politics (and—arguably—complacency, in the same way Vander did) as the path forward.

But what if they set it all down, for Jinx? What if they became what she needed, on both sides? A father who sees her, nurtures her, like Vander saw and nurtured Vi—and a sister who loves and protects her, like Vi loved and protected Powder; who could learn, maybe, to love and protect "Jinx," too?

And maybe—just maybe—Silco and Vi could learn to appreciate each other, for all their surface hatreds. Find mentorship, find balance again, in each other. And through it, Vi could learn that protection, responsibility, isn't the only quality to strive for. That even she can be nurtured again, too.

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[the-vibing-ghoul]

some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

I always think about how in multiple episodes it's basically canon that Blanche is bi but considers dating women to be more hassle (which is a whole rabbit hole to go down - does she struggle with societal homophobia when she's with women? Has she only been with fellow high maintenance femmes when shes really after a Dorothy type? Has she internalized the idea that her attraction to women isn't 'real'? Her reaction to Clayton adds to these questions). Not to mention how this goes together with her relationships with the girls; making to kiss Rose that one time (and Rose multiple times seeming very aware of Blanche's proclivities), begging Dorothy for 'relief' and being convinced she's attracted to women too.

Yes, anon! It’s really interesting to delve into Blanche’s psyche about all this stuff!

I started writing down my thoughts and ended up with a long ramble -- allow me to place it all under a cut, so I don't clog up anyone's dash, haha.

Personally, I think she has some strong mental blocks when it comes to her sexuality because of the way she was brought up. I mean, she grew up in Atlanta approx in the 1930s/1940s — I’m sure I don’t have to detail the kind of casual bigotry she must have seen around her during her formative years! Just look at the story she recounts in S1E13 A Little Romance:

“Now, you have to understand that in those days in the South a lot of things were still taboo. Certain people were not to mix. So Benjamin and I had to meet in secret. Oh, we knew if any of the bigots in town found out about us, there’d be a terrible scandal.”

And all of this because Benjamin was a yankee… can you imagine what ‘the bigots in town’ thought about homosexuality? Yeah, I’m pretty sure Blanche learned to suppress that part of herself very early on. We know she turns to denial when she’s faced with uncomfortable truths and emotions she can’t deal with, so I think she likely just refuses to acknowledge that part of herself most of the time, and it only comes out (pun intended!) when she’s not paying much attention to things, or when there’s something more important going on. See the two examples you point out: when she tries to kiss Rose she’s concerned with not being kissed at midnight, and when she propositions Dorothy she’s, well… she’s desperate to get some, if we can be frank.

When she’s in a more rational state, her reactions tend to be more measured… but not by much. She does advise Rose not to date women (S3E10 The Audit):

“Oh, no, honey, don’t do that! No job is worth having to date women!”

But she’s also really flattered at receiving lots and lots of phone calls from women, after her appearance as a ‘lesbian’ on TV (S7E15 Goodbye, Mr Gordon):

“By the way, Dorothy, if I were a lesbian, I sure would be a popular one. Look at this, 20 calls.”

And of course we can’t forget her reaction to finding out that Jean has a crush on Rose in S2E5 Isn’t It Romantic?:

“Jean has the hots for Rose? I don’t believe it, I do not believe it! […] To think Jean would prefer Rose over me? That’s ridiculous! […] Now you tell me the truth: if you had to pick between Rose and me, who would you pick? Who?”

All of these are (likely) intended to be jokes about her vanity and her libertine nature (in the same way as Rose’s observations are), but considering a lot of the writers of this show were queer themselves, it wouldn’t seem strange to me if they were intentionally peppered in to suggest that Blanche might be a bisexual in denial. It certainly fits her character!

I haven’t spoken about her reaction to Clayton’s coming out yet, but that’s immensely interesting too, of course. I think Blanche has the same attitude towards homosexuality that I see in a lot of (mostly older) people in my Country nowadays: it’s fine as a general concept, but when it comes to her family (or, God forbid, herself) then the problems come out. See for example what she says about Jean:

“Well, I’ll never understand what Jean doesn’t see in the opposite sex, but if that makes her happy, that’s fine by me!”

Which isn’t a homophobic attitude at all! If anything, if you take her upbringing into account, it’s pretty accepting. But then, when Clayton comes out to her (S4E9 Scared Straight) and tells her he wants to get married (S6E14 Sister Of The Bride), this is what she says:

“Oh, Clayton, please be serious. You're just saying that so I won't set you up with any more women. […] Well, then you're saying it 'cause you're trying to get back at me for something. Clay, I know you too well for this. After all, I know it can't be true. You're my brother. […] Clayton Hollingsworth. You look me in the face and tell me you really are… what you just said you are.”

“I'm having a little trouble putting this all together. Clayton, I just feel like I don't know you anymore.”

“[…] Dorothy, that's different. We're talking about going out in public. Oh, what are people gonna say?”

“Will you tell me why you want to put yourself and Doug through this? You know how people can be.”

“Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?”

Quite the difference from her attitude towards Jean, wouldn’t you say? I think there’s three elements at play here.

1) When Clayton comes out to Blanche, she feels disoriented because this is life-changing information Clayton has never shared with her before. While her reaction as a whole isn’t ideal, personally I think it’s understandable. Clayton is her baby brother; she’s known him as straight all his life, he’s been married to a woman for years before his divorce, and she recounts an episode from their adolescence when he was on a date with a woman and very clearly implicated having a physical encounter with her. He's done everything in his power to pass as straight until this point in time -- I don't find it strange that Blanche would be shocked at his coming out, especially given her upbringing (and the fact that this is set in the 80s! We can't expect modern sensibilities from the characters!). Once again, her reaction isn't the best (she can't even bring herself to say the word 'gay' at first...), but the shock per se isn't that surprising, imho.

2) Blanche is scared because of societal implications above all. She doesn't necessarily see being queer as something wrong, but she's been taught it's not socially acceptable and acts accordingly. Notice how she's worried about what people are going to say, and she struggles to accept that Clayton wants the whole world to know about his relationship with Doug.

Societal expectations in general are a big theme for Blanche's character, and often drive her development; another big example of this is her attitude towards Rebecca's decision to get artificially inseminated, but it's a bit of a baseline issue for her, I feel. She has this whole thing about her beauty and her (supposed) youth and her attractiveness that has some inherent elements, but it's mostly an issue of how other people perceive her, I think, and her response to her brother's coming out is easy to relate to this theme. I mean, she even says it to Rose in S7E15:

"Well, I don't mind being labeled a lesbian, honey, but since I'm not, you just ruined my social life."

So yeah. I think it's safe to say her main concern is societal disapproval of queerness: she wants to be accepted and celebrated by the people around her, and she thinks that being openly queer will destroy her place in her social circle (and she's worried about the same happening to Clayton too, of course).

3) This is sort of related to point 2, but it felt distinct enough to treat it separately. I think she might have reacted so badly to Clayton's coming out (and especially to his showing up with a partner) because he's open about his sexuality, and she's not ready to face what that means for her. My lovely mutual @\hecatesbroom recently published her latest amazing work the odd one(s) out, on the relationship between Dorothy and her brother Phil and how Phil's open queerness might have impacted Dorothy; I think a similar situation might have occurred between Blanche and Clayton after his coming out.

Blanche has a sort of advantage on Dorothy because of her bisexuality, in the sense that she has 'passing privilege' (I really dislike this concept, but allow me to use it to make a point): it's painfully clear that she loved her late husband with all her heart, and she's obviously attracted to men as well, so she can pretend not to like women without too much of a hassle (whereas, if you believe Dorothy to be a repressed lesbian, her situation is much more complicated).

The issue with this is that this 'advantage' is a double-edged sword: she might have the comfort of being socially acceptable, but she's had to suffocate a big part of herself to obtain that comfort. And so, what happens when Clayton -- her baby brother Clayton, the one who's always been just like her, who's grown up with her same environment and influences -- begins openly living as a gay man? I'm sure the situation must have had a strong impact on her, even if just on a subconscious level; I've always found it curious that she seems to have a harder time accepting Clayton in S6E14 than she does in S4E9 (she even calls his sexuality a phase), and while a part of it may be attributed to the higher social exposure Clayton's commitment to Doug brings, I think this may be a result of her inner conflict, provoked by watching her brother live openly while she's been suppressing a part of herself all her life.

Here I'm assuming she's never acted upon her attraction to women before, but there's some space to believe she has done so and has decided it's too much of a hassle, as you say -- likely because she'd for sure do it in secret, given her fear of societal condemnation. If she has been with women before, and decided to give up on it, I still think she'd be greatly impacted by Clayton's coming out: it means her baby brother is a) braver than she is, and b) going to openly face (and likely suffer because of) the same social issues she's run away from. In this lens, I find it interesting that she cautions him about how people can be, almost as if they've both experienced it.

Whew. Wow, this was a lot more than I'd originally meant to write, haha! Seems you sparked a big train of thought, anon! I think all of the Girls (with the possible exception of Sophia) are really fascinating to analyze with a queer lens, and Blanche is always interesting to me, of course. As a final note, I'd like to point out that she does come around to Clayton's sexuality and his relationship, in the end: as often happens, she just needs the Girls' help to put things back in perspective, understand she's hurting someone she loves, and correct her actions. I'd like to think living with the Girls might lead to her becoming more accepting of herself, too.

[hall0wedwyrm]

Doki Doki Literature Club: A Monika centric Analysis/Retrospective

Monika is definitely one of my favourite characters... well ever and i just wanted to share my love of her on her birthday!

if you're interested, I made a post a while ago talking about Natsuki! To the people who found it again, it made me happy to see the reblogs people left,,, so thank you!!

This post contains major spoilers for Doki Doki Literature Club! This post is also pretty long lol

I love how Monika is set up to stand out against all of the other girls. You can’t see her bottom half on the title screen, but in the promotional art she has black stockings and pink tipped shoes. She extends out a hand, seemingly welcoming us. Monika is the most smartest, popular girl at school, as e by the Protagonist when they meet her. She started the Literature Club after leaving the Debate club when it became boring.

Quickly though, she is immediately singled out. She doesn’t seem to be an option for us to interact with, often being almost forced to choose Sayori, Natsuki or Yuri. Monika also isn’t a choice when we write poems, which is the main way we can choose which of the club members we want to romance. She also acts as a tutorial of sorts, giving us advice on how we might want to write poems, saying generic things that sound right in-universe for her to say about poems and writing and even notices the characters you write for.

This goes off the rails almost immediately.

During day two of officially being in the club, and after Monika shares her second very cryptic poem, Monika gives her writing tip of the day. It starts relatively innocent, saying we might face a difficult decision, but then she says;

“When that happens, don’t forget to save your game!”

This is dialogue is the first openly fourth-wall breaking thing in this game. Monika directly referencing game mechanics, when no one else has before. It makes it even more jarring when she says;

“Wait… is this tip even about writing? What am I even talking about?”

She laughs it off, but this really stood out as completely bizarre. I’d say this is the start of her openly breaking the fourth wall. On several occasions, she says things that seem out of the blue, and that is clearly something only we are meant to understand as the player. The most obvious is when Natsuki makes a joke about how Monika’s name can be a pun (”It’s right in your name! Mon-ika!”), Monika says that that isn’t how you say her name, adding on, “Also, that joke makes no sense in translation!” which makes Natsuki confused and she brushes it off. Interestingly, after this exchange is when we first get hints of Sayori’s ‘rain clouds’, which shows how early on Monika was messing with her and also when Monika speaks to Sayori for the Protag.

(“I can’t say I’ve noticed anything about her…” Monika when i GET YOU WHEN I GET WHEN I GET Y-) (and then she insinuates that Sayori is interested in us OUUGH WHEN I GET YOUUUU)

Day Three and sharing poems with Monika and she comments on how close the protag and Sayori are becoming… to which she says:

“It would be terrible if something bad happened to her, so keep an eye on her.”

To which I say… oh my GOD. OH MY GOD??? you’re joking. you are JOKING??? ahem. anyway. Another important piece of dialogue she says is when the protag says that all the things the club members write about are sad and Monika says that if everything was okay, they wouldn’t have anything to write about commenting, “Humans aren’t two-dimensional creatures… I think you’d know that better than anyone.” The protagonist corrects her (”Don’t you mean one-dimensional?”) and she once again laughs it off, but this is a flex of her awareness of something more than the world she is in. This is one of her many many comments that aren’t directed at our character, but to us specifically.

Quickly going to point out another one of my absolute favourite details about Monika here... and its just going to be this picture:

yeah. oh yeah...

“Stagnating air is common forshadowing that something terrible is about to happen…” Yuri says.

“I talked to her earlier and everything is fine.” “What did she say?” “Anyway we need to figure out the rest of the festival preperations so-”

Monika also tries to get us to help her for the weekend, despite the fact that she’s going to be getting help from Sayori, and this is pointed out by both Natsuki and Yuri, until she’s basically guilted into letting us choose between the two of them. This reflects (a much more tame version) of the same situation from Act 2.

The day we meet up with Natsuki/Yuri, there is very clever foreshadowing that I don’t think anyone really talks about. When we go to meet up with Sayori to make sure she’s okay after yesterday, the atmosphere is tense. There is no music, and it becomes very ominous, especially with the limited assets used in the game (Sayori’s house doesn’t have assets other than her room, so the black screen is unsettling). Sayori is in her room, and she finally opens up about her depression and expresses how its been very difficult for her.

After meeting our chosen Doki, she catches us, and says that she couldn’t stop thinking about what might have been happening and had to come and see for herself. She blurts out that she wishes she could disappear and stop being so selfish. She makes the very concerning comment, “Monika was right… I should just..” The protagonist is rightfully very confused as to why she mentioned Monika. This links back to when Monika offered to speak with her. Whatever she said… it wasn’t good at all.

This is also where we get to confess to her, with the options of “You will always be my dearest friend.” or “I love you.”

As Susie Deltarune once said, ‘Your choices don’t matter’.

I wanted to also mention I was rewatching some clips and reations to this part and GTLive does a very good playthrough. Mat and Steph are very very uncomfortable the entire time (like through the whole game). After Sayori's death, they're sort of collecting their thoughts and Stephanie points out that Monika knew what had happened to Sayori:

“No.. no no. Do you remember, when we were in the classroom just now… when we were talking to Monika? She knew- She knew what happened. She knew everything that happened with Sayori. She knew.” “Because she said- you left her hanging.” “That’s tacky… that’s gross.”

(Mat is just sat in his own discomfort and is just completely silent in processing what the hell just happened) They both agree that you have the chance to get surprisingly attached to Sayori, and it made her death hurt even more.

When the game resets, Sayori is gone, and Monika is on her bullshit full force. She completely devolves into being very pushy and also incredibly insensitive at times. Natsuki becomes aggressive, and Yuri is incredibly possessive of us and thrives on spending time with us. Her behaviour gets worse and worse as it goes on, also resulting in her death too. It's also worth pointing out how the Protagonist has less and less dialogue in Act 2, in reference to how its becoming less about him and more about us, the player.

Monika becomes incredibly detatched from the girls. Unlike in Act 1 where she tries to reason with them and work things out with words, she now truly sees them as only obstacles and lines of code that she has to bypass to get to us. There are elements of her trying to play along and be nice, but she ultimately gives up on it all together by the end of about day 3. She takes advantage of the times she gets to speak to us alone, all of them becoming very meta and unsettling since she’s talking to us, not our character. Everything she does from now on is to achieve our full attention. She can't completely break the game, that would mean destroying the platform in which she can see and communicate with us, but she needs to find ways to get the other girls gone.

Throughout Act 2, Monika is pushing for us to spend time with her, but is always thwarted by Yuri dragging us away. She takes us outside while Yuri and Natsuki fight, and she interrupts Yuri’s first attempt at a confession by literally blocking Yuri's dialogue box and forcing her to stop talking and giving her confession.

One of my favourite act 2 moments is at the end of day 3, Monika finally gets a chance to talk to us, (saying “sometimes it feels like you and I are the only real people here.”) and as she does so, the screen fades away into the poem creation screen. Even when Monika thinks she is in control, she is fighting against the base programming of the game that she can’t alter, as stated previously

After Yuri’s death, Act 2 ends with the next Monday and the day of the festival. I watched Xander’s Cut do an excellent job of recap of the disturbing nature of DDLC, and they cleverly pointed out how Natsuki had a very normal-person reaction to seeing a dead person (literally throwing up and running away), and Monika literally says; “Ahahaha! Well, that’s a shame.” She proceeds to completely disregard the fourth wall, and says that the script is way too broken. She deletes Natsuki and Yuri, takes the chance to eat one of Natsuki’s cupcakes (oh my god it's so messed up she's SO SICK SOMETIMES-)

With another reset, its us and Monika alone in the clubroom.

Just Monika.

During her opening monologue, Monika basically tells us how to access the files and how easy it was to delete the other girls. She says she’s not very good at changing the game, but it was surprisingly easy to access the game files (unless she detects you using Steam, where she kindly explains how to reach the directory). A poem for each other later, and some more words of being able to spend eternity together later, Monika begins her absolutely massive talk. I’m pretty sure she has over 50 dialogue options that she can choose from (everyone should also watch TechRules cover DDLC its super interesting), and it's truly designed to go on forever... or at least a very long time anyway.

After writing this, I learnt about the option where she talks about Yuri bringing a little bottle of wine into the club and it just makes me sob knowing that even at that point she was remincising about her friends and the times they spent together. I think theres another dialogue box where she questions why she's even talking about them and tries to assure herself that they aren't real and they don't matter anymore. This already shows Monika's regret we learn about later.

Monika talks about a lot of things, some very realistic and wise… and the others being her explaining Sayori’s death in waaaay too much detail. It still makes me feel disgusting to this day (GTLive also got this dialogue and Mat was like “I am not reading this. I can’t read this.”), but a lot of what she says makes her feel like she’s a real person and sharing all her opinions is very interesting.

Now… FINALLY. Monika's deletion.

Her omnipotence is her downfall. It made her insensitive, and when she is deleted, she’s given a taste of her own medicine. She blames us for everything that happens, she calls us sick and horrible, telling us to go mess with someone else.

But… she comes back. She says she still loves us, and that she’s the one who ruined the world. She confesses that she couldn’t truly bring herself to delete the others. Monika believes that if she can bring back the club without her, then everyone can be happy.

I really like this redemption of sorts. Even in act 2, when she was trying everything to win us over, she still reacted to the others like they were people. This is most apparent when she told Yuri that she makes for a wonderful vice president, and a great friend. When she tries to get more members to join, she really does want the best for the club, but with the changes to Natsuki and Yuri she gives up.

When beginning act 4, everything seems to be back to normal, except now Monika is completely gone. She continues to blame herself when you try and add her back into the game. She cares so much about the others that she just wants them to be happy, even if it means without her. It's very selfless of her to do so, but is also her acknowledging that what she knows is the things she knows are harmful for everyone.

She assumes she's the one with the knowledge, but really its whoever is in charge. The Club President.

Sayori gains Monika's omnipotence and she wants us for herself now. Monika steps in, and decides that its not worth keeping the Literature Club if this power is just going to keep being passed around.

She says goodbye to Sayori, Goodbye to us, and Goodbye to the Literature Club. This ending on its own is already bittersweet, but Monika comes back one last time, and sings the song she had been working on all this time.

Your Reality is about Monika's journey. It sums up everything she questioned and learnt throughout the game. Ending with her final decision:

"And if I don't know how to love you... I'll leave you be."

She lets us go, and gives us her final message:

man.

Monika's character is very special to me. She's an incredibly complex character for someone who is intentionally pushed aside in the coding, but so badly wants to have her own happy ending. If the other girls can have one, why can't she? All that she does it to get to us, but she eventually realises that her friends are more important than any of this, and how she misses them dearly. We get to see more of their relationships in DDLC+, and how they all got along once. Her story was (and still really is) something so unique to me, and it captivated me so strongly that I haven't really stopped thinking about it for all these years. She's truly something wonderful, and here's to one day seeing her again!

And of course,

Happy birthday Monika!!

[juney-blues]

99% of conversations on anarchism about here are hampered by people having no clue what anarchists are talking about when they refer to "the state", including, it seems, the anarchists themselves.

[takamoris]

Stealing this image from twitter and bringing it over here, because holy shit, some of the clowns I have been seeing talk about the game lately.