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saintslewis · 3 days ago

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𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x black fem!oc; nadia hamilton

summary: nadia’s got a new job, life is going great (we do not mention singapore ’23) and she has a loving husband! nothing could go wrong, right?

warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions, suggestive stuff bc i love teasing you guys, slight angst too! (tw: qatar ‘23)

saint’s team radio 🫧: hey…..hey. i did not realise that it’s been almost 7 months without giving you guys lewdia….you guys are too kind i swear oh em gee 😭. like i always say, the last chapter bummed me out but we’re back now! i hope you enjoy this one, guys and thank you for sticking around 🥹

pls like, comment and reblog (i’m watching you)

taglist is down below!

fc: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!

renaissance: the series masterlist • general masterlist

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM

Lewis watched as his wife stepped out of the private exit of the upscale restaurant with her red bottoms clacking against the gravel of the parking lot behind the building. Holding the train of her dress like a true princess, she flicked her hair behind her shoulder as she made eye contact with her husband and a huge grin filled her face.

He leaned on the cullinan with a bouquet of white roses sitting pretty on the hood of the car and the infamous pink box from her favourite bakery, a swell of pride in his chest as he watched Nadia walk closer and closer to him.

“You, Sir,” She started, placing her clutch on the hood. “You’re looking at the brand new creative designer for Louis Vuitton.” Nadia expressed, her excitement kept in but the smile showed all her emotions. “The dinner went so well, baby, that the executives moved me from just working in Pharrell’s team to the general team in LV.” She giggled, trying her level best to surpress the excitement.

Lewis’ jaw dropped at the news. He knew Nadia was always gunning for a second chance in the fashion world and after months of communication, deep emotions and frustration, her biggest dream has come true. He could the tears prick his eyes as he watched his wife’s eyes glimmer with happiness.

“Nadia…oh my god, sweetheart. This is huge, this is…everything. I’m so proud of you, love.” Lewis spoke, his arms circling her waist and pulling her impossibly close. It truly sunk in as he spun her around in his arms and her laughter rang through the night sky. “How are you feeling? This is massive, babe, I can’t believe this.” Lewis spoke in disbelief, the ever growing smile never leaving his lips.

“I’m so shocked, I almost screamed and cried when Jean-Luc said that. Then my first thought was to facetime you then I remembered that I was still in work mode. Baby, they even asked that I sign the contract as soon as possible. Like?! Me?! I dreamt of this, Lewis, for years and I just-” The waterworks beat Nadia to her words, a few tears slipping down her cheeks.

Lewis didn’t have to say much, he just hugged her, her head softly placed on his chest and he most certainly didn’t mind that her makeup would get on his shirt. “Oh my god, I need to tell my babies Willow and Kaiden. Then the girls then- this is just so overwhelming and exciting!” She smiled wide, wiping her tears, not caring about her makeup anymore.

Nadia’s eyes finally drifted to the large bouquet staring right back at her along with the faint scent of the croissants. “Was it your job to just make me cry today? I’ve been craving these things for weeks.” Her bottom lip curled into a sweet pout before opening up the box and immediately munching on one.

“Nads, you didn’t even see the flowers? These things are heavy, you know?” He chuckled, watching move crumbs into her mouth.

She laughed. “Trust, I saw them. I had to get some real food first, they in there feeding people thoughts of food with a side of caviar.” She joked, taking up another bite of her pain au chocolat.

nadiahamilton

liked by lewishamilton, megantheestallion and 963,728 others

nadiahamilton this girl is now a creative designer for @.louisvuitton. i’m eternally grateful for this opportunity, thank you 🤍

view all comments

user THIS IS HUGE OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONS MOTHERRRR

arianagrande nadiaaaaa i’m so proud of you!! can’t wait to celebrate you 🫧

charlottieee ARE YOU FUCKING JOKINGGGGG AHHHH

nadiahamilton girl i told you already 🧍🏽‍♀️

charlottieeee STILL THIS IS SO AMAZING

louisvuitton welcome to the family, Madam Nadia! Very excited to work with you in the future ❤️

nadiahamilton I can’t wait to start!

user damn i also wanna use my last name to get me into places that i was never supposed to go to

user you’re such a bitter bitch. you’d never say this about a white man

user TELL EM OOMF

chunkz you making big moves, sister 🥹

user THAT BOUQUET!!!

fencer sister in law is doing insane things! so proud 🥳

nadiahamilton milesssss 🥹

zendaya we’re officially co-workers! ahhh this is amazing, congratulations big sis

nadiahamilton you’re officially my work wife 😛

kehlani vv proud of you, baby girl!!!! only wearin your pieces from now on, trust

iamcardib steal my entire comment, why don’t you? 😐

latto777 y’all ain’t doin enough, i’m getting this shit tatted on me! 🗣️

alexandrasaintmleux sending the biggest bouquet of flowers to you tinkerbell!

nadiahamilton love you always, alex!

iamkaylanicole THEE GIRL, OKAY?!

nadiahamilton kaylaaaa bae 🥹

user from high school teacher to creative designer for lv….. this ain’t shady to y’all?

megantheestallion NOPE

user mother has spoken

lewishamilton clean

nadiahamilton don’t piss me off 🧍🏽‍♀️

lewishamilton i love you, darling and i’m very proud of you ❤️💐

user motherrrrr 🥹

user still can’t have kids btw

nadiahamilton and your bf is still in the ground, now what

user she went LOWER omg 😭

LUSAIL INTERNATIONAL CIRCUIT, DOHA, QATAR

Nadia was already missing Japan and Mexico. Those two races had been the most fun she had experienced this entire season. The car was behaving surprisingly and Lewis was very positive about the outcome of the car, saying the team seemed to finally listen to him.

She was riding solo this time, Miles having to leave early for some work reasons and their friends just saying something about the vibe of the track didn’t sit right with them. Shrugging her shoulders, Nadia packed and went to Lusail with her man, packing her work books as well for sketches.

It was unbearably hot on race day but she had still covered up because she knew of the strict rules around her. Thank goodness the fabrics of her outfit were breathable but she wouldn’t be surprised if her lace lifted a tad bit. Her prescription glasses perched on her nose with her pencil tapping on the corner of her mouth as she sketched potential pieces a new collection that LV was planning to release.

The sweet sounds of jazz rang through her earphones as she swung her feet. Lewis’ driver’s room was comfortable enough for the both of them to be in their own worlds together. Lewis was also focused on his little notebook, focusing on the first lap mostly as he was starting in the front with George. His leg was bouncing, thinking of how things would go for him in this race.

Nadia was the first to put her sketchbook down sigh internally, fanning herself with her hands. He followed suit, taking his airpods off and setting them aside. Lewis gently patted his thigh and Nadia hopped off the ‘bed’ and into his lap, leaning back and feeling his chin on her shoulder as his arms circled her waist and pulled her closer.

“It’s just you and me this time.” Nadia spoke softly, playing with the hem of her shirt. Lewis could only hum in agreement. “I don’t know how to feel about this one. The last two were good and that kind of scares me because the car hasn’t been reliable all year.” He sighed. “I don’t know, love…”

“What are you thinking, Lew?” She took a moment to allow him to respond. He leaned his forehead against her shoulder. “I..They listened to me, Nads. They don’t..they don’t usually do that. I should be able to trust them, you know?” Lewis expressed and Nadia could feel his despair in his words.

She took a moment before saying anything. “Are you thinking of-”

“No. No, I’ve been with them for majority of my career. They’re family to me.” Lewis lifted his head, his voice harbouring slight offence at the mere thought of…that happening.

“Do they feel the same towards you though?” Nadia said, letting the sentence linger in the air for a moment. “You give them everything and they give everything to your teammate. I’m not saying that you should…leave. Never. I just want to see you happy in a car that you can drive.” She fidgeted with her nails this time.

Lewis took his time to respond. The thoughts racing in his head. He is Mercedes. He wants to retire with them. But do they want to?

“I made it deep, innit? I’m sorry.” She chuckled, trying to lift the mood. “I know you’ll do amazing today. I’m just chatting.”

He bounced the leg that she was sitting on. “Heyyy, it’s okay, these conversations are needed. You’re a gem.” Lewis said, kissing her temple. Nadia turned to kiss him fully and when pulling away, she pecked his lips again.

“You’ll kill it today, I just know it.” She smiled.

Nadia, in fact, did not know it.

Her eyebrows were furrowed with her mouth slightly ajar as she watched her husband stand next to his car as he was knocked off the track by his own teammate. Watched as he crossed the track on foot, as they lifted the car from the gravel, as he walked through the garage with his helmet still on and his shoulders slumped in defeat, watched as he walked past her.

After what felt hours of silence sat in his driver’s room in complete shock, the man of the hour placed his cap on as he prepared to walk out of the driver’s room to the masses.

“Why’d you post that? Why’d you say you’re sorry?” Nadia finally spoke up, halting him from leaving just yet.

His hand was on the handle for a second before letting go. “Because I am. What happened out there was my fault.” He muttered, looking directly at her.

“Don’t actually piss me off, Lewis. What I saw, what the world saw? That was sickening. You can go out there and say how awful you feel for doing that to George and the team and how sorry you are but in this room? You cannot lie to my face like that.” Nadia crossed her arms, not wanting to come off as angry but it was getting worse.

“Nadia, you can’t possibly be mad at me for something I did. I was in the wrong. I need to go apologise to the team.” Lewis told her, fully facing the woman.

She took a breath, collecting her words. “They’re going to humiliate you. Do you understand how dehumanising that is?” Nadia asked, her throat feeling tight and her eyes prickly.

Lewis scoffed and looked away, scratching his beard. “I’m not doing this with you right now.”

“Lewis Hamilton, what the fuck happened out there? Tell me to my face what happened.” Nadia pointed in between her eyes, standing to her full height not breaking eye contact.

“George crashed into me. Fuck, is that what you want to hear?” He ran a hand down his face, not believing he actually admitted that out loud.

She let it linger in the air for a few moments. “Thank you. You can go and play superhero. You’ll know where to find me.” Turning away from him, she hopped back onto the bed and carried on with her sketches.

Licking his teeth and holding his breath, he looked at the ground and left the room filled with immense tension.

Hours. Hours passed and she hadn’t said a word to him. She watched as his phone buzzed with all sorts of supportive messages from friends and family. She sat in bed, staring at the bathroom door and waited for him to get out so she could sleep peacefully.

Lewis appeared with just his boxers on and his eyes immediately connected with hers and you could cut the tension with a knife. All he did was call her over with a tilt of his head and she was on her feet before she could even think about it. As soon as she was in front of him, his hand was splayed over her lower back and his other lifting her chin.

“What you did today…it was needed. I have to thank you for that, love.” He murmured, looking all over her face except her eyes and his thumb lightly brushing over her bottom lip.

With her mouth slightly open, he took the chance to slip his thumb into her mouth, immediately allowing her to melt into his arms. “You have to remember though, baby. You always have to remember…” He whispered, kissing her forehead.

Nadia nodding her head unconsciously, her eyes softening and just like that, she was putty in his hands.

AUSTIN, TEXAS

“Okay but think about it though! These cowboy boots are comfortable.” Nadia exclaimed to her friends as she leaned on the kitchen island.

Amara gave her friend the side eye. “Girl, trust me when I say you’ll regret saying all that at the end of the day.” The woman patted her face with setting powder, looking in the huge mirror just outside the kitchen.

The airbnb Tia rented for the weekend was abnormally large but it was able to fit the whole friend group in with some extra space. The sunlight shined through the floor to ceiling windows as the morning sun greeted Austin.

“The goal here was to look like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, Amara.” Nadia informed, her hands on her hips and her jewellery jangling.

In that moment, Natalia jogged down the stairs. “The actual goal here, besties, is to get to the track before we miss the performance or the race!” She exclaimed, fixing her dress then her hair. “Plus Andrew is saving us some bomb ass slushies.”

Nadia’s eyes widened, immediately running to her and Lewis’ room to get an alternative pair of shoes. “I feel like you should’ve mentioned that earlier, Nat!” She shouted as she bolted up the stairs.

The slushy was very refreshing under the Texan sun. The girls were right, the cowboy boots wouldn’t have worked out for the amount of walking and standing she had to do for this particular day.

Everything was going well, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders performed so perfectly, Nadia even thought of potentially joining them one day but that seemed far fetched. The start of the race was smooth, knowing it was going to become a battle of some sort between Lewis and Charles. The guests in The 44 club were very hyped for the race and the vibes were just right.

That’s how Nadia knew something was too good to be true. Lewis had gotten on the podium with the biggest smile on his face as everyone celebrated around him. The celebrations continued into the evening, the friend group having a party of their own in the airbnb.

“I think we should come here for December, what do you think? Maybe Aspen?” Lewis asked his wife, laying his head on her shoulder as she held a smoothie in her hand, watching her friends play a board game that she checked out of a while ago.

“I’m not skiing though, I’ll watch you do your thing baby.” She smiled softly at the thought of spending Christmas with her new family.

Lewis hummed. “That’s good enough for me. Though…I might have to whisk us away somewhere special soon. I’ve got a surprise for you.” He hinted, a grin on his face that could light up the room.

“What on earth are you planning? You’re always up to something.” She giggled, barely thinking of what the surprise could be.

Miles stood up from the carpet with his phone in his hand, his jaw dropped a bit. “Mate, you got disqualified.” His usual loud voice going quiet as he showed his best friend the instagram post from F1.

All Lewis did was sigh. “I expected it. Today was going to be a bit too well with that damn car.” He scoffed in disbelief. “Maybe I should think about going red.” Lewis joked.

Nadia gasped and smacked his arm. “Lewis, you can’t say that!”

saint’s notes: heyyyyyyyy 🧍🏽‍♀️ i hope y’all enjoyed that 🥹. love y’all always. lmk what you think!

tags: @motheroffae @perfecttrashface @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @cocobutterqwueen @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @littlelizzies-world @httpsserene @apenasumlug4r @eddiesbitch83 @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @sunfairyy @vsfavs @louvrepool @mistruscity @tian-monique @hopefulromantic1 @exotic-iris13 @yeea-nah @nichmeddar @gg-trini @lifeless-firefly @vellicora @takeoffz-tookoff9876 @serpenttines-library @emjayewrites @lewisroscoelove @purplelewlew @xoscar03 @kidsol-ar @nothaqks @tremendousstarlighttragedy @ggaslyp1 @henneseyhoe @saturnville

if your account is blank, that means tumblr can’t find you!

#saint writes #lewdia #renaissance: the series #lewis hamilton x oc #lewis hamilton imagines #lewis hamilton fanfics #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton x black!oc #lewis hamilton x black reader #lewis hamilton x nadia #lewis hamilton x black oc #f1 imagines #f1 x oc #f1 imagine #f1 x black!oc #f1 x black!reader #☆ ‧₊˚ saint’s media pen

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nixisverytired · 3 days ago

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I keep seeing people say shit like “I’m against transandrophobia because it’s just a way for trans men to excuse their transmisogyny!”

“Using transandrophobia just means you hate transfems!”

And I wish I could say to these people, as bluntly as possible

Transandrophobia isn’t about you.

Trans men talking about their oppression doesn’t hurt you.

A transmasc person discussing their concerns about forced pregnancy and detransition doesn't mean they think trans women have it better.

A trans man saying “hey, I don’t pass easily, and I still experience misogyny!” doesn't mean he thinks transmisogyny is fake and you pass easily.

A trans man bringing up how invisibility means hate crimes against trans men often go unreported doesn't mean he thinks hypervisibility is any better.

A non-American trans man telling you that no, his life is not actually easier than yours, doesn't mean he thinks you are lying about your experiences.

People saying “Hey, I think trans men are oppressed!” does not mean they think trans women are NOT oppressed.

That's a whole new sentence.

Yes, there are going to be bad faith actors and bigots in every community. Transmisogyny is something we all have to watch out for, because it is so normalized in our society. No one identity is exempt from this.

No one identity is uniquely transmisogynistic, either.

You can’t insist every person who believes in transandrophobia hates transfems and is out to get you, specifically.

It’s not about you.

You want proof? Talk to the trans men and mascs who actually use the tag, listen to them for once. Hear their stories about the oppression they have experienced, and, crucially, don’t derail it and make it about you.

You don’t have to like the term. Hell, even if you’re a trans man or transmasc, you don’t have to use it! But don’t police the people who do.

#transandrophobia #transandromisia #discourse #antitransmasculinity #intracommunity issues #for the record? Anyone who is ACTUALLY using transandrophobia to shut down transfems is on my shitlist.#also anyone calling transfems terfs or baedels can fuck right off.#but let trans men have their own terms and spaces

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bogleech · 19 hours ago

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I'm actually not going to let this go until Gerry is at least as widely ridiculed as Human Pet Guy. That guy still didn't do anything half as disturbed as this fucking loser, let me pull up my favorites again:

Gerry messaging me from an alt pretending not to be an alt

Gerry claiming again that it's antisemitic of me to say the IDF are bad guys who do not represent the entire Jewish population. This is not, in fact, the same as saying they're "not jews anymore." Also bragging about supposedly baiting and sealioning me into saying whatever they believe I said wrong. I guess the stupid ass hell thing????

Calling me a "blorbo" like I'm a fictional character rather than a human. Also, I went and got the original hell comment to double check it:

.....This doesn't even say the IDF should go to hell. It says I hope people "excusing" the IDF's actions should go to hell, I just typoe'd it as "excising." I guess Gerry successfully gaslit me, since I fully believed I had said specifically "the IDF go to hell." Thanks!

Gerry accusing me of "lumping them in as pro genocide" in response to a comment in which I specifically state I do not see them that way. How else am I supposed to read them NOW, though? Because I defined that as "someone who thinks kids deserve bombs dropped on them," and Gerry's response is "how dare you say that about me......???????" What?? Not once do they ever simply say "no one deserves their town to be bombed" or anything like that. They absolutely refuse, because they do in fact believe that it's okay to bomb a whole community if some of that community might hypothetically be "hamas." They do in fact think it's acceptable that people who never hurt anyone else should die that way for some sort of greater good, or that only hamas can be blamed for those deaths by "forcing the hand" of the ones with those bombs.

Gerry admitting the IDF bombs, loots and tortures, even though most comments they call antisemitic are calling out just that very behavior. Gerry to my knowledge has never willingly blamed anything negative on the IDF since this comment and continues to attack people who do.

Gerry admitting the honest core of their beliefs and behavior. This isn't really about me, though. I mean, part of it is, I can definitely be vindictive. But I mostly ignored this asshole for the past year until the doxx comment, and now I'm getting more messages than ever from people who feel actually hurt and terrorized by this motherfucker. I've suffered ZERO fallout from their attacks, I am evidently too big I guess, but there are people who change their username to hide from this piece of shit, even fucking minors who dared to say "free palestine" once. Then there's @stoptheantisemitism, who is NOT gerry, but is impersonated by gerry's alt account @spottheantisemitism and other alt accounts, @stop-the-antisemitism and of course @stop--the--antisemitism in this very thread. Creating so many variants is a deliberate attempt to make it as hard as possible for casual rebloggers to remember which one is the real person. I mean, two alts only add dashes to the same username, and the other only moves one letter "p." I have no idea how tumblr staff can rationalize that as okay. But, again, if there's a guy who can't show his face without human pet jokes because he was just generally creepy, or everyone remembers sixpenceee's family having slaves, why can a user devote this much of their miserable life to "baiting and sealioning" people from multiple accounts and still have a usable blog left? ONE LAST THING!!!!!!!

In the notes on this very post, gerry is so bent on finding people to call out and slander they tried to find "misogyny" in a comment saying that women like studying bugs????????

Gerrysherry, the user who tells people I'm antisemitic because I think IDF soldiers are killing innocent civilians (rather than framed by some kind of Hamas conspiracy), believes my real name was a secret that I only just now accidentally revealed rather than the default way I've signed all my web content since the 1990's. Also believes that I have an employer, that "telling my parents" would affect a grown man, that my hippie mom would disagree with me anyway, and that the hatemail they got last year was all me rather than the natural and inevitable fallout of the supremely fucked up shit they say about the victims of a mass murder. Apparently would gleefully leap at any hypothetical chance at "doxxing" me though. Good to know. Literally wishes they could ruin my real actual life because I don't think Netanyahu is a hero.

#get FUUUUUUCKED #gerrysherry

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wisesoultarot · 2 days ago

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What's going on in this connection?

Enjoy 20% off of all readings (VALENTINE SALE). (Use Code VALENTINE) at the checkout to avail this offer. Offer valid till 14 FEB. Hurry! LIMITED offer!!

❤️‍🔥IMAGE 1:

It seems that both of you are acutely aware of each other's feelings and are treading carefully around the matter of your hearts. This delicate dance of emotions is palpable, as you navigate the complexities of your connection with a mix of excitement and trepidation. While you both relish the time spent together, sharing laughter and engaging in captivating conversations that seem to flow effortlessly, there is an underlying current of hesitance that prevents either of you from taking any decisive action.

The moments you share are filled with warmth and understanding, yet there remains an unspoken tension in the air. Neither of you has openly communicated your true feelings, which has led to a silence that belies the undeniable connection and attraction that exists between you. This silence is not merely a lack of words; it is a profound acknowledgment of the depth of your bond, one that both of you sense but struggle to articulate or confront.

You may find yourselves stealing glances, feeling the weight of unexpressed emotions, and wondering what the other is thinking. Each interaction is laced with a mixture of hope and uncertainty, as you both grapple with the fear of vulnerability and the potential consequences of revealing your hearts. The fear of disrupting the delicate balance of your relationship looms large, creating a barrier that feels insurmountable at times.

I believe that you will each need some time to ponder the situation and figure out what this all means for your relationship. This period of reflection is crucial, as it will allow you both to explore your feelings more deeply and consider what you truly want moving forward. It may be beneficial to take a step back and assess the dynamics at play, weighing the risks and rewards of opening up to one another.

In this time of contemplation, you might find clarity in understanding the nature of your connection. Are you both ready to embrace the possibility of something more, or do you prefer to maintain the status quo for now? Whatever the outcome, it is essential to honor your feelings and those of the other person, as this will ultimately guide you toward a resolution that feels right for both of you.

As you navigate this intricate emotional landscape, remember that communication is key. When the time feels right, consider finding a way to express your thoughts and feelings, even if it feels daunting. The potential for a deeper connection is there, waiting to be explored, and with patience and honesty, you may discover a path that leads to a more fulfilling relationship.

❤️‍🔥IMAGE 2:

At this moment, you may find yourself in a phase of your relationship characterized by a lull, a period where the usual vibrancy and connection seem to have faded. This can happen for a variety of reasons; perhaps both you and your partner are preoccupied with the demands of daily life—work, family obligations, personal challenges—that leave little room for nurturing your bond. This preoccupation can lead to a sense of disconnection, where conversations feel superficial, and the emotional closeness you once shared seems to be slipping away.

For those who have faced a definitive end to their relationship, the emotional toll can be particularly profound. The process of navigating through the aftermath of a breakup can be overwhelming, as you grapple with a complex mix of grief, sorrow, and heartache over what has been lost. Memories of shared moments, dreams for the future, and the simple comfort of companionship can weigh heavily on your heart. The journey through this emotional landscape often feels isolating, as you confront the reality of moving on while still holding onto the remnants of what once was.

On the other hand, there are individuals who are finding the strength to let go of their past relationships. This process is not without its challenges, but it can also be liberating. Embracing the journey of moving forward without a particular individual allows for personal growth and self-discovery. Many are learning to express gratitude for the experiences shared, recognizing that even though the relationship has ended, it contributed to their development and understanding of love. This perspective can foster resilience and open the door to new possibilities, both in terms of personal fulfillment and future relationships.

If you find yourself in a state of pause with your partner, it’s important to reflect on the factors that may be contributing to this stagnation. Past events or unresolved issues can create obstacles that hinder your ability to progress together. There may be lingering feelings of hurt or disappointment that have not been addressed, leading to a reluctance to fully engage with one another. Additionally, an underlying fear of fully trusting one another can create a barrier to deeper intimacy. This fear may stem from previous experiences, either within the current relationship or from past relationships, where trust was broken or betrayed.

Uncertainty about the future of your connection can further complicate matters. Questions about where the relationship is headed, whether both partners are on the same page, and what commitment looks like moving forward can create anxiety and hesitation. This uncertainty can manifest as a reluctance to open up emotionally, leading to a cycle of disconnection that can be difficult to break.

❤️‍🔥IMAGE 3:

This situation reflects a profound and enduring bond that has existed between the two of you for quite some time, a connection that has weathered various trials and tribulations. The history you share is rich with memories, both joyful and painful, and it is clear that the emotional ties that bind you are not easily severed. I sense that both of you are yearning for forgiveness from one another, a deep desire to heal the wounds that have caused distance and misunderstanding. This longing may even extend beyond the two of you, as you might find yourselves reaching out to a higher power or the universe, seeking guidance and support in hopes of rekindling the connection that once brought you so much joy.

However, despite this mutual yearning, it appears that neither of you is taking the necessary steps to bridge the gap that has formed between you. Both of you seem to be in a state of receptivity, almost as if you are waiting for the other to make the first move. This passive approach may stem from fear, uncertainty, or a desire to protect yourselves from further hurt. You may find yourselves manifesting the possibility of reunion, envisioning a future where the bond is restored, yet without action, these dreams remain just that—dreams.

For true healing and reconciliation to occur, it is essential that at least one of you takes the initiative to extend forgiveness. This act of forgiveness is not merely about absolving past grievances; it is about acknowledging the pain, understanding the circumstances that led to the rift, and choosing to move forward with compassion and empathy. It requires vulnerability and courage to reach out, to express your feelings, and to show a willingness to work towards mending the relationship.

#tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #intuitive guidance #intuitive messages #intuitive readings #pac reading #pick a card reading #love reading

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genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago

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it might just be us + where we live, but... is transmasc erasure rlly that bad?? /genq bc... we know so many trans people and we've never met a transfem person... again no harm meant by this, we live in utah so our exposure to queer ppl in general is very skewed

it's good that you provided context! thanks for stopping by!

it's going to vary heavily on someone's area and perspective- but transmasc erasure can happen even within transmasculine spaces, so i wanted to let you know just to be careful. transmascs apologizing for being trans men, making sure they're not "too" masculine as to not "threaten" the women and femmes around them, allowing themselves to be talked over by other trans people, believing that transmascs don't face transandrophobia, and so on can still happen within transmasc spaces. just because there are transmascs there does not mean they aren't possibly participating in self-erasure or erasing their friends

if you're not exposed to other conversations, they won't feel anywhere near as impactful, so if you're in a community where people are acknowledging each other and respecting one another, it's going to seem like a non-issue, because fortunately, it is for you all! and that's a good thing, but these types of communities aren't that common, unfortunately. i'm glad you have that!

erasure is a big issue in other spaces where there are a larger variety of genders, unfortunately, yes. i'm glad that you have a lot of transmascs to have community with! that's huge and im happy, that's a blessing! the spaces i've occupied have been largely mixed genders and identities, and the trans spaces i've been have basically been transfem only with sparing transmascs or nonbinary people here and there. some people really do just tell transmascs to shut up or to not speak about their issues ever because that somehow holds someone else down, etc. etc. there are different groups who participate in the behavior and they handle it in different ways but the end result is always the same

historically there hasn't been much data at all on transmasculine lives for this purpose. there are notable transmasculine and trans man historical figures but theres not much info on most transmasculine and trans man people in general. it's just not information that's preserved well because it's always been hard for us to come out no matter what. there's been lack of interest and support for a long time, and every few decades people find different reasons to mock transmasculine people and trans men and assert that they're just hysterical/stupid/broken/tainted/crossdressing/butch women, or teenagers. there's always some kind of theft of autonomy when it comes to their own identity

i hope that makes sense! let me know if you have any other questions!

#asks #answers #transmasculine #transmasc #trans man #trans men

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ethicaltreatmentofcowplants · 16 hours ago

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simply lilac outtakes: lilac & minta

(set before the second strawberry ceremony - this would have occurred off-screen)

LILAC: Hey, so Ezekiel said I’d find you up here - oh. Talk to me.

ARAMINTA: It’s nothing, really.

LILAC: It’s clearly something. What’s up - did Dodo only recite love poetry to you twice this morning?

ARAMINTA: Today is your day.

LILAC: It is my day - and I’m choosing to make it about you at this moment. So tell me.

ARAMINTA: Hosting this - it is a privilege and I love seeing how the contestants grow - but it also makes me think back to the island, and of all the other people Dodo could have potentially been happy with instead of me.

LILAC: Wait - whoa. Have you not seen the two of you together?

ARAMINTA: I have. And all of this feels so unfair since when it’s just the two of us, he makes me feel like I’m the only other person in the world. It’s nothing that he’s done. It’s just me - all me. And I see you with contestants and I think “oh, they could be cute, but then they also could be cute” - what if everyone else is thinking that Dodo made the wrong choice?

LILAC: Then plum everyone else.

ARAMINTA: What if he has made the wrong choice? For him, I mean?

LILAC: Okay - oh, woof. Listen, when people have just started dating, most of the time they’re not exclusive. And if they are, it’s purely incidental.

LILAC: So what you saw on the show was merely what would have been going on in the background in real life. Though I get where it would have been hard to watch. Do you still feel like he’s the person for you?

ARAMINTA: Yes. Absolutely.

LILAC: So is it more that you wish you’d met under different circumstances?

ARAMINTA: Yes - actually, no. I wouldn’t have been the person that I am today, had I not entered the competition. It - it definitely did a lot of good for me.

LILAC: And maybe if you and Dodo had met elsewhere, you wouldn’t have given each other a chance? [dryly] I’m feeling that way a lot about my situation.

ARAMINTA: True. And I appreciate the opportunity. But then I look at Daisy Dee, who’s so gorgeous and has such charisma, and Sierra, who’s simply amazing - and I wonder how he could have possibly picked me? It’s not that I’m jealous of either of them, it’s-

LILAC: The Inner Araminta Own Worst Critic?

ARAMINTA: Perhaps.

LILAC: You could also maybe look at it like, “here’s all these ‘amazing’ people he met and had a great time with, and he still chose me? So to him, I must be extra amazing? And he must really want to be with me?” Could you try and think of it that way?

ARAMINTA: Hmm.

LILAC: And if you can’t see yourself that way, could you maybe believe that Dodo does?

ARAMINTA: [...]

LILAC: Would you try and talk to him about this sometime? I know that communication isn’t always easy for you stiff upper lipped Henford types, but if you explained how you felt exactly the way you explained it to me just now. He thinks the world of you. And if I’ve noticed that something’s been off about you lately, then I’m sure he has too. In between all the belching and the paranoid muttering, even.

ARAMINTA: [tentative smile]

LILAC: Well, time to face the music. Just let me fix your mascara first. We’ll just pretend it’s bled since the Watcher didn’t fork out for the Lovestruck pack. Also what’s this dress you’re wearing? Amazing.

ARAMINTA: It’s a @sentate. We had all packed formal outfits for the final, but production never gave us the chance to change.

LILAC: Then production’s a bunch of idiots. Dodo would have proposed to you on the spot. Actually, we better have Lou check that he’s off set for now. Can’t have him ruining my moment in the spotlight, can we?

dodo harper by @akitasimblr, daisy darling by @mdshh, sierra mitchell by @tipsy-clouds

#tw: mental health issues #my sims #lilac moon #araminta hearst-irsay #simply lilac #other people's sims #dodo harper #yeah lilac can be messy #but also a good friend #but she's far more confident than minta #the difference between the two

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luckymousey · 1 day ago

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Thoughts about Trey's dream (parts 257-268) (mostly things I liked)

Hey! I’m back!

Today I managed to start and finish Trey’s dream, let’s start!

Man, they even uploaded Riddle’s dream by now, I need to watch it, I don’t have enough time, help

⚠️English is not my first language and there will be spoilers for those who still haven't seen Trey's dream⚠️

Warnings?: possible swearing and grammatical mistakes

They arrive at Trey’s dream and I fucking hope they deepen up in Trey and Cater’s relationship (I write at the same time as I watch because it’s easier this way for me (I have short term memory) so I still don’t know what’s going to happen next, just to let you know)

Ace posing for the camera mid-travelling? What the hell? How!? Like, Cater filming the whole fly is easy to understand, but weren’t they flying way too fast to pose? My man here is unaffected by wind or what? 🤨 Or are they going as fast as a roller coaster?

Deuce is definitely getting his magic wheel’s driver license before the car’s one, I can feel it, he even wanted to make a magic wheel club before.

I can’t believe I was right, almost no one in Heartslabyul gets dizzy because of this type of travelling (though Cater gave another explanation, maybe i didn’t hit right in the spot)

Yo, if the Mirror of Darkness judges the dizziness resistance (I don’t know what it’s called, but you get me, right) does Heartslabyul have a big gap in number of students compared to the rest of the dorms? (I know it’s more of the sound thing, but just a question I had)

Ace being offended by the fact that we didn’t go to Deuce and he first, like, I WOULD’VE loved to go to you first, but I just couldn’t choose what dream I wanted to go first, ok? You understand? (And his dream broke my heart too many times)

AND NOW ITS POSSIBLE TO FLIGHT WITH 10 PEOPLE, MAN, SILVER IS DRAINING HIMSELF, ISN’T HE?, AFTER EVERYTHING IS OVER, HE’S GOING TO BE LIKE: “yeah, yeah, I’m happy everything is solved, I love you all, gn” HE’S GOING TO SLEEP FOR 100 YEARS FOR REAL AFTER THIS

Sebek being proud of and thankful for Lilia and his grandpa is so cute 🥰

AND MY KNIGHT, THE MIGHTY SILVER, COMES AND TALKS ABOUT GRIM TOO, YEAH, THIS IS ONE OF THE PARTS I LIKED THE MOST Grim defending us is just so cute, you guys know those headcanon some people have that Grim gives Yuu a present for Mother’s/Father’s Day because he sees them as his paternal figure because he never had someone who took care of him so much 🥺? It reminded me of those

Everyone complimenting a very embarrassed Grim gives me years of life

I can’t believe Grim said that if he was to leave Yuu behind he wouldn’t be able to study just AFTER what happened in Ace’s dream

And now the one Braincell trio talk together and tease Grim like siblings would, it’s so heartwarming 🥰

AND LEONA APPEARS WITH A FLOWN ON HIS FACE TO REMIND THEM THEIR MISSION, HE’S STILL TRAPPED WITH THEM WHEN I'M SURE HE WANTS TO FINALLY GET A NAP

The way the characters start naming sweets and everything they can smell impresses me, I can’t get a single name right when guessing what food is only by its smell 😭

My man Cater stopping everyone from suddenly entering the kitchen and showing his intelligence, he knows how to act and what to prevent

But his line?: “all I’ve to do is to drag the NPC outside, beat them and return” that sounded so sadist for me

CATER LITERALLY PUTTING HIMSELF WITH LEONA AND IDIA IS SO FUNNY, ONE IS A COMPLETE INTROVERT WHO HATES SOCIALIZING AND THE OTHER ONE FINDS CATER’S ENERGETIC PERSONALITY ANNOYING

Cater calling himself weak and that he chose Leona for said reason as unsettling, I had the same exact reaction as Leona: “don’t lie” he’s not weak! Why are you sayin that Cater? It makes me laugh a little

And then, of course, Cater drags them as Idia starts pleading for mercy: “no, don’t! Stop!”

Idia is the one who’s in most danger because he’s controlling everything, directly helping them and also communicating with STYX (who still didn’t fall asleep), running the danger that because of that, Malleus could catch him (let’s remember he caught Ortho, it wouldn’t be surprising if he suspected Idia) and he worries about having to accompany a Heartslabyul student

OMG, Ace wishing good luck to the three of them was so pleasing to my ear, I dunno, it felt…��amazing✨ (it probably was the cheerful and sneaky way he said it

We enter the kitchen and it’s so fucking amazing, so beautiful, so perfect, AAAAAH, I LOVE IT (Alice in Wonderland is literally my fav Disney movie, I just love anything related to it) (but I ain’t forgiving them for what they did to my heart with Ace’s dream)

Something I don’t see in the kitchen is a teapot with three spouts, I demand my three-spouts-teapot

But I do see some Cheshire Cat’s cookies, they look so damn cool, I’m definitely making them when I have time

I just had a random thought, if anyone wants to make their birthday party (or anything else)

Heartslabyul themed they could make ‘sweets-garlands’, something that looks just like the food that’s flying in the new kitchen, it would be sick

Riddle would be terrorized by the new kitchen, but I bet that goth Riddle would be happily running like a kid to get more and more food (basing this off the spoilers I read about how he became a little spoiled in his dream)

AND CHENYA MAKES HIS APPEARANCE, HELLO CHENYA, I MISSED YOU 😭😭😭

Trey with his new uniform makes something inside me, I don’t know how to explain, it’s just kjhskjhgahjksjhsjk

If you look at the new clothes of Cater, Trey and Riddle, you’ll see they’re all matching, they’re wearing matching outfits and you’re not going to change my mind.

Ugh, I wish they made a new uniform for Chenya instead of just giving him a crown (but also, considering Chenya’s personality, it might be that he just doesn’t want to wear his uniform OR that his clothes can be considered uniform both in NRC and RSA)

Deuce not being able to remember Chenya’s full name reminds me of when he tried to say “Diasomnia” in the Heartslabyul Arc (I know Chenya’s name is long asf and is literally like a tongue twister, but it reminded me of that moment)

And then Ortho finally gets Chenya’s personal information…is this even legal? I mean, I know Ortho wouldn’t use their personal information abasing them (or maybe yes), but this can’t be legal (but considering what Rollo tried to do and the situation with Fellow and Gidel, I think I can say that laws there don’t work)

I swear that while the third years were reading Chenya’s information, the cat was definitely playing Dress to Impress, he was hitting all the poses he could

Idia and Leona are still talking about the theory that both Trey and Cater didn’t like Riddle as dorm leader and yada yadaaa, I feel Cater was more like he wanted to be able to live without having so many strict rules (but he wasn’t dissatisfied with Riddle) while Trey’s definitely more like he just wants Riddle to relax a little (I think. Like, I’m sure Chenya doesn’t mind being dorm leader, he’s cool and relaxed)

Idia being scolded by Ortho is *chef kiss*, I love their dynamic

Ortho is going to be a great uncle (if he really gets a nephew/niece), he’s like that friend who's like the cutest one in the group but in reality he’s the most intelligent and mature

Grim telling Ace to lower his head is so cuteeee, I need to see a fanart of all of them trying to look what’s happening in the kitchen

And now everyone is fighting with everyone while Deuce just sighs at the sight of the friends he got (even Ortho is glaring 😂)

Returning to the kitchen, Cater approaches Trey…and he tells Cater he’s not the real one…TREY, THAT’S NOT HOW YOU SAID HI TO SOMEONE; RUN, CATER, RUN AWAY

Man, the fact that Chenya is not more powerful than Riddle but still manages to keep his position as dorm leader makes sense, I think it’s like a reflection of what happens in the film: the Cheshire Cat constantly mocks the Queen of Hearts.

My dumb ass doesn’t understand Leona’s scientific explanation about Chenya’s UM, so I’ll simply say that it makes his body disappear

And the fact that Chenya pulled Riddle’s belt is just like when the Cheshire Cat used the Queen’s flamingo to lift her skirt

I swear to God that Chenya’s references to the original film are so *another chef kiss 💋*

The language Chenya uses (the ‘Pokandue’ word) would be something like Riddlish, from EAH, right?

“Whether I go or not depends on my mood”, translation: “I’ll only go if something perks my interest, if not, fuck off”, Chenya is so sassy, something like Floyd, I love him (I’m starting to thing he’s my favorite character, yes, a secondary character is my favorite character)

AND HIS HUMMING COULDN’T GO MISSING

“It’s not like there’s a huge difference between the reality and his dream”, Idia, dear…just wait

Oh, fuck, I just realized Trey was talking that he looked thinner than dream!Cater, not that he knew he didn’t belong to his dream, fuck, it makes sense, I almost forgot the meatballs existed

And while they’re talking about how they could wake him up Trey appears with his ‘Grandma “you’re too skinny, darling” mode’ activated and asks them if they’re hungry.

Trey still remembering Cater’s hatred for sweet things is so sweet of him (yes, I made another pun on it, hehe)

When I talked about Trey having a Grandma mode, I wasn’t lying man, in this part, he just fucking told them to eat 5 or 10 slices of the food, Trey, my man, my chef, calm down, you already have too many meatballs, you don’t need more

…and now Leona eats an entire pie…it’s understandable, he likes to eat…but man, in two bites?

Leona hating vegetables is so funny and then he demands for more food with meat, he approves, he approves

And Cater saying 200 tarts are too much even if there a lot of students in Heartslabyul…if you knew, Cater, if you knew

*puts voice of documentary filmmaker* And while the humans (and a robot and a cat who denies being a cat) are discussing which Riddle is weirder, the one in Ace’s dream or the one in Trey’s, something huge is slowly approaching them, it easily exceeds the average human size and weight, what will it be? An elephant? A walking building? An even weirder Riddle?…

Ehhhh, it wasn’t entirely wrong.

And nooooow, *drum roll* CONTESTANT NUMBER-

Ah, wait, they dropped some Trey Clover lore.

Oh, and I also wanted to say that it’s so amazing that the dorm also changes on its own and also have mushroom and cookies that can make you bigger, they really put a lot of detail in Heartslabyul (maybe because this was the first dorm)

When Idia said: “eh, etto…”, it sounded so cute ahjjksjakj

And I also find so cute that he was the one who started talking, and not just talking, but starting a conversation, he’s slowly opening to others (just a little, tiny bit, but I’m sure it’s a big step for him)

Idia and Trey have something in common! They both started doing what they like to do now just because that was just what they were used to (programming and baking respectively)

He was excited by the kitchen in Heartslabyul! Now I headcanon that he loves going to Ikea

and look at the furniture

I said it in my post defending Trey and I will say it again, Trey didn’t know what was going to happen to Riddle if he snuck out, even Idia and Leona are so fucking surprised by the 5 hours Mrs. Rosehearts took to yell at his family, and not only Trey wasn't the culprit of anything, but yelling at a married couple over a piece of tart, A FUCKING PIECE OF TART, is ridiculous.

And now we’re re-telling Riddle’s childhood, whyyyyyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And Chenya and Trey see him as their baby brother!!! THAT’S WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR, RIDDLE, SEND YOUR MAMA TO HELL AND GO AND LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE, YOU CAN BE EITHER RIDDLE CLOVER OR RIDDLE ALCHEMIVICH PINKA

And only now you’re telling me Trey was forced to be vice-leader 🥺? RELEASE MY BOY, YANA, RELEASE HIM (only if he wants to, of course, we don’t know if he’s now happy with the situation)

Damn, seeing Trey in his normal dorm uniform feels after this long weird

Oh, WAIT, IT’S THE HAT, HE’S NOT WEARING THE HAT IN THE FLASHBACK, I know we can see him without his hat in his school uniform, but it’s weird seeing him using the dorm uniform without the hat

Wait, wait, wait, wait, THE FACT THAT CATER, WHO IS NOT USED TO HAVE LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS, IS THE ONE TALKING AND ANALYZING TREY’S DESIRE FOR CHENYA TO BE THERE WITH HIM IS SO HEARTBREAKING

Leona is so sadist: “let’s just turn into sand everything Trey created for his dream. Let’s start with that silly, striped cat” maybe it’s because I’m a stupid, sensitive person, but I wouldn’t be able to even think about destroying something that makes another person happy 🥹

OUR SPECIAL GUESTS ARE FINALLY HEREEEE

*drum roll* CONTESTANT NUMBER 1: ACE TRAPPOROLLA

CONTESTANT NUMBER 2: DEUCE SPADEROLL

CONTESTANT NUMBER 3: KEITO DIABETO

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, CONTESTANT NUMBER 4: RIDDLE ROLLINGBALL

Who will our bachelor, Yuu Yuusurname, choose?

(Omg, the voiceeeees, they’re hilarious)

(The way both Deuce and Cater both though they were hedgehogs who turned into giants just shows us how crazy the dorm is and how used they’re to it)

Going tbh, when I saw the meatballs and Trey’s SSR card I thought: “oh, so…Hansel and Gretel, right?”

Bro, when they put the character besides their meatball-self is like looking an ‘before vs after’ meme

“There are two Ace and Deuce!” “It’s true!” “I didn’t notice because they were so small!” OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, YOU EVEN CAME ROLLING INSTEAD OF WALKING

“Aren’t you all…perfectly round?” NO, TREY, HUMANS CAN'T BE ESPHERES, PLEASE, WAKE UP

Bro, imagine a student who wears glasses and only wears glasses because contact lenses make him uncomfortable, but here’s the plot twist: he’s a Heartslabyul student, round like a ball, big like an elephant, how is he going to wear his glasses??

Haha, Sebek and Silver were more worried about Riddle not being able to ride his horse Vorpal than anything else

Yk something curious? First, I know Trey’s desire is more about his peers being able to live freely as they want, but the result was way too far away from his motto: “I’m just a normal guy”, and second, this would actually make sense as he’s the based off the Mad Hater isn’t it? We kind of had to expect something crazy

The way the meatballs just start rolling to attack them, even Silver was taken down by them, god gracious, they’re going to be flattened up into a rug…WHO WANTS THE SPECIAL EDITION “THE GREAT GRIM” RUG FOR THEIR HOUSE? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE ONLY ONE PRODUCT LEFT, BUY IT BEFORE SOMEONE DOES SO BEFORE YOU

Ok, but the fact that Tre’s first flashbacks were literally Riddle being a tyrant…lowkey makes

me want to cry a little

”I don’t like sweets at all, but it’s so delicious I can’t help myself!” *wrong answer noise* EEEEEEEEEE, Cater would NEVER say that, he already has his little trauma with sweets, leave my boy alone

Trey’s little laugh before pointing out what his real friends do and then saying he feels sick by watching them eat his food, ✨perfect✨

MY CHEF TREY CLOVER IS BACK MY PEOPLE, HE WOKE UP, YESSSSS

Aye, Ace’s coughing was nice to hear too, I dunno, when characters make small little noises is always fun for me to hear

UMMMM, Leona telling Trey owes him and Trey simply laughing, I’m also stealing this for my 3rd years headcanon

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you”…I mean, if you want to 😆

“Will a normal mage like me be useful in this situation?” TREY, WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS AFTER WE BEAT MALLEUS and probably Grim’s ASS

“Don’t make fun of me, Leona.” That’s another thing that’s going to my 3rd years headcanon 💅🏻

Everyone telling Trey he was their wildcard but I remember Idia calling him “Riddle’s pacifier” and I’m not letting you forget about that >:3

Ace taking a guess about Riddle’s dream by saying he’ll probably dream about rules and almost everyone agreeing…you’re all so bad at the guessing game, guys really, you shouldn’t play it anymore

Silver and Trey watching their first year students in disappointment and slight embarrassment is so mom coded for them, idc if Silver doesn’t really have mom vibes, this is my opinion

AND IDIA CALLED THEM PARENTS OF KINDERGARTEN CHILDREN, I LOVE HIM, TWINNNS

So we’ve reached the end of my post, I hope you enjoyed it!

#You bet I'm starting Riddle's dream tonight and no one's stopping me #twst book 7 spoilers #book 7 spoilers #book 7 #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #Twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #trey clover #cater diamond #riddle rosehearts #ace trappola #deuce spade #sebek zigvolt #twst silver #leona kingscholar #ortho shroud #idia shroud

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inferno-0 · 1 day ago

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| IRONHIDE X Human!Reader? |

➤ Ironhide is just stubborn

➤ People are primitive creatures. Such a phrase always pops out of Mecha's vocolizer when mentioning human culture and people in general. Cruel, having no idea of morality, constantly destroying what they fear. No other simple solutions, only the study and extraction of all the sources of life until the victim himself begins to fear them. They are so small, but they lead a lifestyle like parasites in a foreign body. Crawling, crawling through all the cracks that are possible on the way. Creepy. If you were bigger, almost on par with them, then he would not even dare to set foot on this planet if he already knew what you were creating. I would never do that.

But still, he is here, in front of you.

The uniqueness of your species might have surprised Ironhide. Despite the opinion that the Bot has in relation to people, the Bot can sometimes be interested in your natural phenomenon. Cybertron never thought that you were human, you could twist your limbs so flexibly at an angle that was unnatural for him. He was used to bots turning the manipulator and the rest of their frame, thanks to the gears and good movements of the mechanisms, but he could never believe that your thin threads inside all the organs could twist a lot there. Ironhide is really amazed. But despite this, all the character that people present bring him out.

It is quite difficult to convince the Autobot otherwise, especially after your "kind" decided to do terrible things to Bumblebee. Ironhide is a rude person, he does not give him any privilege of communicating with people, although he adheres to this so-called "code". Part of its CPU is certainly excited to find out what else you can do, but the rest prefers to stand its ground. He could do this forever until you made your argument in the direction of his planet and inhabitants as well. The rage he showed you was remembered for a long time.

But you were not a bad person, you listened attentively to everything dissatisfied and partially agreed. It's just that the words that you received have already gotten out of control and you have already had to defend your people, citing someone else's as an example.

Destroy your planet because of political inequality? Not to share power?

Not to be able to join the front ranks? Because of this? You've been straining your fists for so long when you haven't got an answer. The irritation of the different kinds looked terrible. Someone else's huge cannon could shoot at any minute, one more extra word and only ashes will remain of you.

You don't know how long it will take for Ironhide to finally believe in your words.

#Transformers #Transformers x reader #Transformers Bayverse #Transformers Bayverse x reader #X reader #Human #xhumanreader #Ironhide #Ironhide x reader #Ironhide x Human Reader #Transformers Bayverse ironhide #Transformers ironhide #Ironhide transformers #Transformers ironhide x reader #Bayverse ironhide #Transformers ironhide Bayverse

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kazusrightmole · 2 days ago

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BACK AGAIN

small note: a small and old drabble to upload before my exams tom lol (also an offering to the dr stone fandom as a celebration for the season 4 of dr stone,, also a bit of a canon divergence here and takes place way before taiju was first revived by senku lmfao) and uhh no dialogues from reader here as this was set in senku's pov

SENKU ISHIGAMI was someone who wasn’t too fond of romance or anything related to it in general, which was why he’d rather spend the rest of his life dedicating to the love of his life—Science.

That, he made it pretty well-known among his fellow peers and the loved ones involved in his life. The blunt male just guessed that the reason behind was simply because he wasn’t all up for the hype of something so complicated. Obviously, Science was supposed to be a concept filled with natural complexities dedicating to everything within and in life itself, but with thorough and careful research, even the most complicated processes of certain materials and life forms could easily be answered if anyone had just taken the time to do simple research or whatever.

Unlike everything else about romance itself. If you liked this person so much, why can’t you just get on and be done with it already? Does it really matter whether you’d get rejected or not? Because frankly, after begrudgingly watching a few romcom films (thanks to Yuzuriha’s and Taiju’s conjoined yet stubborn efforts), most of them could’ve been easily solved if they had just stopped distancing themselves from each other and just communicate everything they’ve been feeling towards the other.

It’s as simple as that, isn’t it? he let out a snicker as he recalled those memories, his movements unnoticeably shaky yet still somehow maintaining relentlessly. Even as his throat silently begged be to quenched of its thirst and his frame on the verge of being roasted under the sun’s harsh light—Senku Ishigami, unsurprisingly, couldn’t find it in himself to stop whatever he was doing even if it was for a quick break.

His calloused hand then popped another one of his, hopefully now working fluid he randomly found in some cave—seeing as the previous fluid he just poured over the stone obviously didn't work.

At this rate, he might just start believing in god and lady luck themselves if the stone ever cracked.

Just a little more—can’t let them down now.

Which was exactly why tinkering, experimenting, and discovering new stuff using certain things along with newfound materials, was something he’d been mostly looking forward to do as soon as he got up from bed. While others may find his interest with science a bit too excessive, Senku Ishigami could really care less.

Honestly, the blunt male would rather have his head filled with thoughts of all possibilities of creating something beneficial for all of humanity. A bit of an ambitious dream, but with senku’s intelligence and insane dedication combined? Yeah, no, at this point, nothing was ever going to phase him one bit.

Or at least he thought so.

For some reason, the universe and above had somehow collectively thought to prove the smart teenager otherwise. And what other way could it be if not turning all of humanity into stone by some sort of weird green light?

Yeah, honestly, Senku would’ve been shocked at most if he hadn’t been already turned to stone as soon as the light hit his skin. Too bad he already turned into a living concrete before he could even get the chance to process whatever the hell’s going on.

Thankfully enough, he still managed to maintain his consciousness long enough by counting down every seconds, minutes, months, and heck, even years.

“How annoying,” he muttered under his breath, closing his eyes before chuckling and wiping away the sweat that trickled down his temple. A seemingly malicious yet tired grin plastered across his face as he opened his eyes and leaned back once more, a pair of crimson hues glinting in delight at the sight of the stone gradually cracking below him. The small sound of rumbling echoed as multiple lines emerged, smoothly working together across the surface to unveil whatever laid beneath, while an alluring white glow shone from behind the slowly cracking stone—thanks to the recently successful fluid Senku had just poured over today's subject.

The teenage boy, however, just didn’t expect his consciousness would last up to 3,700 years later—but he guessed it should be something more considered as a relief more than anything. Especially since humanity, having been turned to stone, must’ve had their bodies’ aging processes halted, at least until they miraculously broke free from the hard confines encasing them.

Whatever the case—Senku Ishigami was just glad to have you back once more.

“Heh, took you long enough to wake up, huh? While you were busy taking the world's longest nap, I was out here doing all the heavy lifting to bust you out of that stone, you cotton brain.”

TAG LIST; EMPTY SLOT

— MASTERLIST

#miriawrites—!#sendingloveforyou—!!#dcst #dr stone #dr stone x reader #dr stone x you #ishigami senku #ishigami senku x reader #ishigami senku x you #anime and manga #dr stone fluff #kazusrightmole

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zepskies · 3 days ago

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Ooh I'm excited to get into more Shaw drama! (I still need to read those books. 🤔)

Ahh so him wanting to solve his father's murder is what drove him to distance himself from his wife and kids, in order to help him reconcile with Colter. It does make sense, even if it is heartbreaking.

“What about your mother?” Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”

lmfao she really does! I was literally just wondering about how he views his mom in all of this. She literally let Colter believe Russell had something to do with Ashton's fall, and then basically told him to get gone. What kind of mother does that? She seems very suss in all of this.

“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand. His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”

LMAO. I don't know who Manny is, but I already love him! 😂 And I'm even more intrigued by the hints of Russell Family Trauma mixed in with the family mystery, piecing together the puzzle of his mom along with his father's killer...

“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.

Very on brand that Russ shares a Dean-level love of food. 😆

“Listen, things were obviously a little complicated between me and her the last few years,” Russell (under)stated. “But I’ve brought you here for a reason, okay? Figured it’s time you meet your sister-in-law.”

LOL God, Russell isn't good at this, is he? It's tough to say which one of the Shaw boys got more childhood related trauma affecting their ability to communicate, let alone be emotionally available. 😭

Russell inhaled deeply, nodding. “I knew she was pregnant. When she told me back then, I-…” He paused, licking his lips. It wasn’t something he had ever talked about with anyone before – not even you. “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes.

Oh my God, Russ... I wasn't expecting you to take it there, but it's an understandable consequence of his PSTD, especially for him as a soldier. It also explains why she picked up Lewis and left him to pull himself together.

“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.

Ooh again with those lies of omission...

“Well, you were a kid,” Russell said and hoped it would curb the blow slightly, although he knew better than that. “He always took something as far back as I can remember. She used to prepare his pills every evening after you and Dory went to bed. But when we moved to the cabin, he started refusing to take them. Said they made him ‘not clear-headed enough.’ Kinda ironic,” he shared and snorted. “When it got too bad, though, she’d still crush ‘em into his food.”

Dear Lord, their mother is more and more suss to me. How she could ever justify making her eldest son be a scapegoat is beyond me. 🥲

But I'm glad Colter and Russell are getting just as much of an honest heart-to-heart as Russ and the reader did. 💜 Now I can't wait to see what you did with the finale of this series!

The Exit Strategy – Part 4

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, some angst & feels, family secrets, spy stuff, a bit of spiciness

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: Welcome back, friends! We're diving a bit into Shaw family secrets this week – fully Wayne's version, though. While I did read the books, there's no major spoilers**, so don't you worry. I just played with an idea here 🤓 I also won't be fully diving into the Shaw family life, but some things are heavily hinted to be... fishy here 👀 Enjoy & let me know what you think! 🤍

**There's a small part where Russell tells Colter about their parents. It's mentioned in the books that their mother was a psychiatrist. I took that and ran with it 🤷‍♀️

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Part 4: This Is Not an Exit

“You’ve been walking down memory lane a lot tonight,” you teased with a nudge of his ribs, still tightly cuddled in his warm embrace in the freezing basement.

“Haven’t you?”

“No, I have,” you admitted with a melancholic sigh. “Maybe we should stop dwelling on the past so much. Think more about the future…”

Russell scoffed a small chuckle. “Dory said something similar not that long ago. Actually the reason why I came here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his fingers absently drawing circles on your arm. “I think it’s time we retire, sweetheart. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, I think we deserve to, right? You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I’m surprised we’re even still here, considering how many war zones we’ve been in.”

“Well, you know what they say – beware the old soldier because he’s old for a reason,” you said with a smile.

“Yeah, think I might be getting a little too old…” Russell chucked lightly, running a hand through his long hair. “So? What d’you think? One last hurrah, and then we hang this up? I was thinking maybe we could open up a brewery, you know? A family place. Bet the kids would love it.”

“Sounds nice,” you said with a yearning smile. You wanted all of that and more. “I’d love to retire with you.”

“But?”

You laughed slightly at his anticipating look. “But I don’t think you can yet.”

His eyebrows drew together till they met above the bridge of his freckled nose. “What d’you mean? I just told you I’m ready.”

“You say you are, but you aren’t,” you replied like the annoying Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Have you solved the murder yet?”

Russell licked his lips, which was his telltale sign that you caught him there. After all, you knew him better than anyone in this world – knowing when he needed to be pushed and shoved was part of it.

“No, but I don’t need to anymore. Look, the only reason I wanted to solve it was because I thought I had to prove my innocence to Colter. And well, turns out I didn’t. He believed me anyways, so…”

“That wasn’t the only reason,” you reminded him with a scrutinizing look.

“Maybe, but like I said – Dory thinks we should keep all this bullshit in the past, and after the last three years, I’m starting to agree with her,” Russell said, dragging a hand over his face.

“Look, if that’s what you want–”

“It’s what I want,” he assured you and placed a hand on your thigh, gently squeezing it. “Having my little brother and sister back is enough. I don’t need more. Nothing good ever comes from being greedy.”

You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat. “Still, in the name of our deal to always be honest, I kinda have to confess something.”

Rising from your seat, you dusted off your awful, flowery skirt and wandered to the wall safe once more, retrieving a thick folder from it. You took your place next to Russell again, his questioning eyes meeting yours as you handed him your research.

“When you didn’t come back after a year or so, I started looking into it as well. Might have done a full deep-dive,” you admitted with a bite of your lip.

Russell shot you a chiding look, shaking his head, but most of all, he was worried. “I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know what sorta people we’re dealing with here, but we do know they’re dangerous.”

“I know. I just wanted to help. Figured I could speed it along. I do have more access than you,” you countered softly. “I’m sorry, okay? But I was careful. I promise.”

“Good,” he said and looked at you, interlacing your fingers with his. “‘Cause the last thing I want is losing you over this bullshit, too.”

Nodding, you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “There’s something you should know, though.” He raised his brow anew – you’d always been full of surprises. Life certainly had never been boring. “Someone accessed the files after me.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. Definitely had a higher clearance than me, though,” you replied.

Russell threw his arms up, and you could see he was getting more upset again. “See? This is what I’m talking about! The whole point of us separating was to keep you and the kids away from it. Otherwise, we could’ve just stayed together, and I could’ve joined Horizon anyways.”

“I know that, too,” you said remorsefully. “But don’t worry. I wasn’t followed, and no one ever came after me. I made sure of it. It’s been two years now. They probably figured it was nothing after I didn’t reach out to you straight away.”

“Still… I don’t want you involved, alright?”

“What about Colter? Doesn’t he want to know? He doesn’t strike me as someone who just lets things go,” you noted observantly.

Russell clicked his tongue – a sign of defeat. “He isn’t, but he’s not gonna find anything either. I mean, the only reason I know is because you were so relentless and kept digging.”

“You haven’t told him what we found out?”

Russell licked his lips and admitted quietly, “No. I don’t think it does anyone any good to keep looking into this.”

Leaning forward and hugging your knees, your head bobbed pensively. “I thought you guys talked about what happened?”

“We did. Kinda… It’s complicated,” he stated, swallowing. “Dory was easy, you know? I guess she never really believed it… But it took a while till Colter even picked up the phone, let alone answered a goddamn text message. Had to get a little annoying.”

You smirked. “Well, you’re good at that. That’s how you won me over.”

“By being persistent?”

“Exactly. Like a tardigrade.” You grinned. “I mean, you kind of are doing it now again, too.”

He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, guess so.”

“Is that why you haven’t told him about me and the kids? Because you’re not sure about him yet?”

“Partially, yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I wanted to protect you. And maybe myself a little, too… Not sure I’m ready for those two worlds to meet yet, you know? I mean, you and the kids are the best things that ever happened to me, and when I look at Colter or Dory, I’m sometimes reminded of the worst things in my life.”

“What about your mother?”

Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”

You laughed a little. “Gathering intelligence in uncomfortable ways is kind of my job, Shaw.”

“Yup, and no one’s better at it than you, sweetheart,” Russell quipped.

“So I’m guessing it’s a no on Mommie Dearest?”

Russell licked his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna see her. Mostly because I don’t even know what to fucking say anymore,” he said. “I don’t want her to meet the kids either.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him and took his hand in yours. “It’s your choice, Russ. We go at your pace, alright?”

“Thank you.” Russell brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand before he looked at you deeply, a smile dancing across his plump lips. “I love you.”

You mirrored his smile, your heart fluttering like a wild butterfly in your chest. “I love you, too.”

“I’ll tell them – Dory and Colter. I want this to work,” he promised. “Just… after we finish this. I want him to have a clear head. I prefer not to get him killed, you know?”

“I get it. I thought the same thing when I first met you, too,” you joked, patting his chest. “But you brought him into this. It’s kinda on you.”

Russell scratched his bearded chin. “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know what I’d bring him into.”

“Didn’t you, though?”

Amused, Russell bobbed his head. “Yeah, maybe I did,” he acknowledged. “You know, when Manny called me–”

Your eyes widened. “Manny called you?”

Russell blinked at you, brow creased in confusion. “Yeah, why?”

“That motherfucker…”

Furiously, you stomped to the desk and grabbed the radio. “Drone-5. This is Queen Bee-1. Report to Hive.”

The static of the radio cracked almost instantly, as if the idiot had been waiting all night for this call. “Yo, Queen Bee-1. How’s my boy?” Manny’s laugh echoed through the basement.

Russell’s glowing cheeks reached his eyes when he heard his friend’s voice. He’d known the guy almost as long as Doug.

“You’re the one who fucking told him?!” you yelled into the radio, almost crushing the device in your hand.

“To be fair, I told him not to engage with tango,” Manny sheepishly replied.

“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand.

His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”

“Aw, you know I can’t do that. But I guess congrats on crashing another operation. You’re Worker Bee-3 now. Old habits die hard, huh?” Manny chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess…” Russell replied with a lighthearted chuckle, but his teeth tugged pensively at his lips.

“Great to have you back, brother. Hope this works out for you. See you on the other side, man. Oh, and could you move like three feet to the left and turn the washer off? We can barely hear and see you guys, and Drone-2 just ran out to grab popco–”

“No, absolutely not. Out,” you snapped as you grabbed the radio from Russ. He laughed as you put it furiously back on the desk. You knew what you had signed up for, but you still deserved some privacy. Annoyed, you took off your cross necklace – another bug – and settled down beside him again.

“What did he say when he called you?”

“Nothing much, really. Just told me your coordinates and that you like to pick up your mail at three o’clock at the local post office,” Russell replied.

You shook your head, smiling. “Well, he always loved you, so…” You started to chew on your lower lip, the anxiety in your belly returning. For the sake of your mind and heart, you had to make sure Russell was fully back, and this wasn’t just a fluke. “You know, I worry sometimes that if you don’t face this thing with your family, you’ll always feel this way. I mean, after Lewis was born–”

“I know.” Russell nodded, swallowing thickly. He saw the worry shimmering in your eyes, and it cracked his heart a little. “I know I kinda lost it there. Took me by surprise, too. Trust me. Figured I had dealt with all that shit already, you know? But I guess seeing you with him and feeling all that love myself, I just-… I don’t know. I don’t know how she could do it… Ashton was one thing, but she just stood by. And I don’t even know what the hell she was up to while he took us out into those woods…” He shook his head as if to rattle the answer out of his brain. “And then when we found out you were pregnant again… I mean, I’d barely held it together with Lewis. Everything just became a blur. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I worried all the time I’d be like them…”

“I tried to help,” you said softly.

“I know you did. Guess this was just something I had to figure out on my own,” he replied with a beat shrug.

“How’s your vision now? Still blurry?”

“Clearer than ever.” A smile flickered alive on his lips, green eyes boring into yours as he leaned in and kissed you slowly like he meant every word. Blowing a raspberry, he then turned his attention to the file in his lap. “So, what am I gonna find in there?”

“Honestly, nothing we haven’t already puzzled together,” you replied, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “But I found a couple of names associated with your parents. Thought maybe you could look at them and see if you recognize the person you saw in the woods.”

“I already know where this is going…”

“Russ, please, just–”

Russell interrupted you, placing a soothing palm on your thigh that curbed your enthusiasm. “I’ll think about it, alright?”

Satisfied, you raised two placating hands. “All I was asking…”

“How was the lasagna?”

After four hours in the basement, you and Russell quietly treaded up the stairs a few minutes after midnight, finding Colter in the kitchen, eating leftovers out of the ceramic form in the warm glow of the stove light. Tom, on the other hand, had passed out on the couch, only the blue flickers of the TV and the soft noises of a peaceful nature documentary filling the silence of the dark living room.

“Excellent,” Colter stated, swallowing down a mouthful of lasagna before speaking. “I told Tom he should be a chef in a restaurant or something.”

Russell’s brow knitted in doubt. “Really? Lemme try.”

“You just ate two entire bags of junk. You can’t still be hungry,” you argued with a giggle, shaking your head.

“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.

That man would eat anything. You’d seen him do it, too. He didn’t even go hungry when he was lost in a desert.

“Wow, that is good,” Russell announced his judgement with a full mouth. “Maybe we should hire Tom for the brewery, huh?”

“I’m guessing this means you two talked?” Colter asked with a carefully arched brow.

“Hmm. I don’t know,” Russell mused in jest. “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?”

You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”

Russell laughed and slung an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed your temple.

But then you noticed Colter’s smile falter, his brows creasing in question. “Is your hair different?”

“Shit!”

Wide-eyed, you bolted back down the creaking stairs to the basement, hearing Russell’s laughter fill the kitchen.

“Was she wearing a wig? And her eyes too, right?” Puzzled, Colter tried to piece it all together. He had already figured by your extensive vocabulary of swear words that you might be a better match for his older brother than he had initially surmised.

“Yup, all fake, man,” Russell confirmed and smirked. “Still think she’s not my type yet?”

“No, I can see it now,” Colter admitted, chuckling. “So, you guys are good?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Russell nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, swallowing.

Colter’s smile widened, filling the older Shaw’s stomach with more guilt. “That’s great. Happy for you, man. Guess that means you’re retiring now, huh?”

Russell scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, we’ll see. Always depends on what the wife decides, you know?”

Yup, he sprinkled that important bit of information into a joke. Then, he watched his little brother take a stumped step back, brow furrowing and unfurrowing and then furrowing again.

“Wha-, wife?”

Russell produced a popping sound with his lips like the noise of a bottle when the cork was pulled. Welp, this bottle was surely open now.

“Yup, got married in Thailand in 2011,” he added another helpful tidbit of information, but Colter’s jaw dislodged all the same.

“Alright, got this all figured out,” you said, sauntering back into the kitchen with a pastel pink towel wrapped around your head and a matching bathrobe. You’d just grabbed them from the dryer, the fluffy material still cozily warm. It was the best option, considering you didn’t want to mess around with your wig as well after popping the lenses back in had already cost you most of your patience. In your little bubble of bliss, you hadn’t instantly noticed the brothers staring at you. But once you did, your brows morphed into a frown. “What’s going on?”

“You two are married?” Colter asked, a pointed finger flicking from Russell to you.

You threw your arms up, looking at your husband. “I was gone for five minutes! What happened to telling him after the operation?”

Russell offered you a sheepish shrug. “Well, this old soldier’s getting weak too, apparently.”

“He said it like a joke…” Colter mumbled, still in the middle of processing this new revelation. His older, estranged-but-now-less-strange brother had a wife. A family. Friends. And he knew none of it. What else was there? Kids?

“Yeah, he does that...” You shot your husband a scolding sideways look. “Should I leave you two alone for this?” you then offered, hoping the answer was a goddamn yes.

“Why would you? You’re family, right?” Colter retorted with a dry smile and a sharp look.

You pursed your lips. While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.

“Don’t take it out on her,” Russell stepped in gently, which really was a warning. “She didn’t know about any of this. Kinda pushed her into it.”

“Seems to be your style,” Colter scoffed.

“Can’t work for the CIA without going through a baptism of fire, little brother,” Russell said simply, giving an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders.

“Why would you not tell me?” Colter stared at him, his look a mix of reproach and agitation.

“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.

“That was months ago,” Colter countered, scowling. “I’d like to think I’ve come around since then… Coulda told me after we saved Doug.”

Russell let out a small sigh of defeat, rolling his eyes back slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man, alright?” he apologized earnestly.

With a questioning brow, you carefully nudged your husband’s arm. “What happened to Doug? Is he alright?”

“Yeah, uh, he went to work for Horizon with me. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Russell replied, his voice a lot quieter as if sharing a secret, and if Horizon was involved he probably was.

“Is Tracy okay?”

“She’s fine. Little shook up. You should probably give her a call. Smooth things out,” Russell told you.

Tracy thought you worked in marketing at some company for the government. Whenever you, Russell, and Doug were stuck on a mission, the boys made you call her to “smooth things out” – aka reassuring her everything was certainly fine with her husband and he wasn't in any danger at all. They’d once made you call her from a Black Hawk. The noise had been fun to explain away – you’d told her you were picking up a client from a helicopter pad.

Colter chewed on the insides of his cheeks. “So she knows Doug, too?”

Russell nodded. “Yeah, me and Doug were mostly Delta, but SAD liked to borrow us from time to time. We ran in her team for quite a while. She was actually the one who recruited me.”

At his little wink your way, you smiled. He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.

Eyes drifting from you to Russell, Colter pursed his lips – a tell he shared with his brother.

“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” Frowning, Russell tilted his head.

“No,” you absentmindedly replied for Colter, who gave you a curious look but steered his attention back to Russell.

“No,” the younger Shaw repeated your assumption. “I mean, not more than I was before, you know?”

Russell’s creases only deepened. “No, I don’t know.”

“He means he’s indifferent about knowing or not knowing we’re married because he’s already pissed about not knowing about my existence in general,” you explained.

“Ah. Your nerd is showing, sweetheart,” Russell teased you with a smile that made your heart melt.

“Dory would like her,” Colter commented like the thought had just popped into his head – something else he didn’t share with his brother.

You’d always wondered about the youngest Shaw of the three. Russell could never tell you much about Dory. His memory had been one of a smart and feisty nine-year-old, not a young woman and physics professor.

Thumbing at you, Russell cocked a brow at his brother. “Is she right, though?”

“Spot on, actually.” Colter’s tongue poked his cheek, his gaze flickering with a hint of astonishment and new-found respect for you. “And I guess I’m not really mad either way. Just… surprising, you know? I should’ve asked. That’s on me.”

Russell seemed more than a little baffled to hear this, considering he had to pause to find an appropriate response. “No, uh, we’re good. I could’ve just told you, anyways.”

“Yeah, no, that’s alright.” Colter swallowed, sending his older brother a smile of forgiveness. “Honestly, I was glad to hear you weren’t alone all this time, so…”

Russell’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. With a nod, he averted his green eyes to the kitchen floor. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”

“Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased.

Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.”

“You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?”

“Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.

Russell, on the other hand, shot you a pointed look, but that had barely ever stopped you before. “Okay, you can lay down. You don’t have to give him the initiation. No hazing my little brother,” he ordered you sternly, and you stifled a snort. “And no one better kidnaps him tonight and puts a bag over his head, alright? I don’t wanna pick him up beaten and bloody from some warehouse tomorrow morning.”

“Hm, what?” Colter’s brow furrowed. For the first time, you could see slight panic spread in his pupils.

Who was hazing who now?

You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance. “Fine, we’ll leave him alone,” you acted your capitulation.

The younger Shaw blinked at you. “Thank you?”

“Should we at least tell him about the other thing while we’re at it?” you asked Russell with a suggestive look.

Thoughtfully, he paused for a beat, then clicked his tongue. “No, I got it from here. It’s getting late. We’ve been here long enough,” he decided. “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to -the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.”

“It just came from the dryer. Look, it’s so soft and warm,” you argued, pouting, your palms caressing the fluffy material on your arms.

“Uh-huh.”

The little bob of his Adam’s apple made you grin slyly. The way his jaw ticked and his pupils widened with a primal hunger, you could tell he wanted to tear that robe right off of you. The thought caused a shudder to run down your spine.

“What, uh, other thing do you have to tell me?” Colter asked and smiled expectantly, tapping his fingers on the the counter.

Russell, however, grabbed his arm and dragged his curious little brother toward the exit. “I’ll tell you in the car,” he said and thumbed to the front door behind his shoulder. “Wait outside. Gimme five minutes, alright?”

Wordlessly, Colter nodded without argument, gave you a quick goodbye-wave of his hand, and strolled leisurely back to his car as if he knew exactly what his older brother intended to do.

As expected, Russell impatiently conquered your lips, roughly pressing you against the foyer’s wall, your arms draping around his neck.

“What’s the bedroom situation in this place?” he asked between kisses.

“First floor, west side, third window from the right. I’ll leave it unlatched,” you replied, smiling against his lips. “Tom’s always sleeping on the couch. Part of our cover is going to marriage counseling with Pastor Jeff, which happens to work out great for us.”

You exhaled a shuddered breath when one of his hands wandered past the robe and splayed warm against your ribcage, just underneath your breast. His thumb fought an itch to get closer.

“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.”

“Mmm, I know,” he groaned and dropped his head between your boobs, lips pressing a chaste kiss to your collarbone. If he continued on with this, your arousal would surely streak down your bare thighs soon. Luckily, he had mercy on the both of you. “I’ll talk to him and then come back, okay?”

You nodded with a smile. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, and then disappeared through the door with the same cometary velocity he had entered your vision.

And all you could do was hope you’d see him one more time in your life.

“So?”

4.3 seconds after Colter killed the engine of his pickup in a spot a block away to the west side of your house – as per Russell’s very specific instruction – he stared scrutinizingly at his older brother.

Impatience was also a family trait – one even their father had despised.

“Look, uhm, there’s no easy way to break the news…”

“Is this about you having two kids?”

When Russell’s eyes met Colter’s, he didn’t recognize any anger, hurt or resentment in them – just pure slyness. At least that was good news. His little brother was just going to be annoying about this whole thing.

“Yeah, remember those five minutes you left me alone in the car? I called Bobby. Had him check some things out for me. Wasn’t easy to find. I’ll give you that…”

As expected, Colter was going to be a smartass about it. He figured it out on his own. He won the game.

“Hmm.” Russell pursed his lips, nodding. “You do know the CIA is on your guy’s ass now, right? Shouldn’t have done it in their perimeter, man. Manny’s probably all over this by now…”

Then his brow knit as if the thought of his old friend had provoked an idea, his head tilting with narrowed eyes at the air vents on the dashboard. How long had that car been parked outside and out of sight again?

Like a game of Operation, Russell then used thumb and pointer finger as his tweezers to retrieve a tiny bug – the spy kind.

“Gotcha,” Russell muttered, smirking. He then held the bug close to the speakers of the radio before turning up the volume to its highest setting – only for a second. He switched the radio off, rolled down the window, and threw the unwanted listening device onto the pavement. “That should teach ‘em a lesson…”

Colter cocked an incredulous brow at his brother. “They bugged my car?”

“Oh, trust me, they bug anything they can get their greedy little hands on,” Russell retorted. “Would probably check for a tracker underneath, too.”

“Great, thanks,” Colter huffed wryly.

“Hey, you wanted in. That’s what they do,” Russell reminded him, shrugging, but there was a smile of amusement on his lips.

Colter only bobbed his head. “So, you and her? You guys are good now? Just like that? Seemed… easy. Sorta…”

Russell chuckled lightly, brushing a hand through his beard. He knew his relationship with you was unconventional, but it had always worked for you and him.

“Me and Y/N have a deal, you know? It’s not all black and white. I mean, we became aware a long time ago that the two of us operate in a lot of gray zones. But, uh, we always know we can rely on each other, you know? Doesn’t matter if we’ve been separated by time or space,” Russell explained to the best of his abilities.

“So what happened?” Colter prompted with the same amount of confusion. “Why did you guys split up? I saw on the birth certificate your daughter was only two years old. I mean, did you-… did you even know?”

He’d tried so hard to forget, wasn’t even sure he had ever really apologized for it to you because he so badly didn’t want it to exist that he’d tried to wish it out of literal existence, and hence, never really blamed you for leaving like you did. He understood. In fact, he had even wished you’d leave. He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.

He’d been lost and alone. And maybe, he was being selfish by crashing back into your life now. Or Dory’s. And Colter’s.

“I mean, nothing ever really bad happened. It’s just-… That night I came scarily close,” Russell confessed, swallowing thickly. He still hated himself for that night and everything that followed. “It’s like a switch flipped, you know? I couldn’t do anything against it… And Lewis saw parts of it, and I was already impatient with him and short with her the weeks before, so I just left that night and disappeared for two months. Volunteered for some mission. Figured it was best for everybody.”

It’s better off if he never comes back…

Russell licked his chapped lips. The next part was the hardest.

“When I got back, she told me she got a job offer in another country, and that she would be taking it and taking Lewis with her. She wanted me to use the time to… I don’t know… solve this, I guess.” He let out a humorless scoff at the painful memory.

Russell hadn’t seen it at first, maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, his anger and pain blurring the truth. After his son had been born, Russell knew you could see him struggling, so you started digging deeper into his family and what really happened. And when you’d found something – Horizon – you’d told him you could infiltrate. Naturally, Russell had passed a hard no – it had been a five-hour long fight, but he'd emerged victoriously by the end. So, you’d told him he should do it, but he didn’t want to leave you, and he didn’t want to endanger and jeopardize his family.

He’d told he was fine, but he wasn’t. It kept gnawing on him – and gnawing and gnawing and gnawing… till you eventually pulled the plug and ended his suffering.

“I was exhausted, so I told her we’d talk about it in the morning. When I woke up, they were gone. Didn’t even notice she’d already packed.”

Colter was silent for a beat. “Was it PTSD or something?”

“Or somethin’,” replied Russell.

“But you’re good now?” Colter checked with a warily raised brow.

“Guess so…”

Truthfully, Russell didn’t know if he was or wasn’t. He’d tried hard to figure out what it was exactly that had set him off that night and fix it, but he didn’t know if that feeling would ever disappear for good. He just knew he had never felt that way again since then. But could he guarantee it would never come back?

He didn’t know.

“Look, all I know is, seeing you and Dory again helped, so…” Russell twitched his shoulders and sighed. He didn’t know what else to say, how to explain it better, but Colter seemed to understand anyway, reading between the lines.

Russell worried he’d be like their father.

“I think I get it.” The younger Shaw nodded and licked his lips. “You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.”

“Well, thanks,” Russell said, not convinced but appreciative of the vote of confidence. “Makes at least one of us…”

“I-, uh, I noticed their names,” Colter then said and clarified, “Lewis and Amelia. Like explorers. Like us.”

“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips and brushed it off, “Wasn’t really my idea. I told Y/N that story once. Guess she took a liking to it..”

“Are you, you know, gonna tell Mom?”

Russell was almost surprised by the question. The brothers had barely talked about their mother since they’d reconnected. Considering Colter had never brought her up again after their first meeting, Russell figured there was a reason for that – and he thought he probably knew the reason, too.

Russell scoffed a chuckle and looked at his little brother with an almost incredulous look. “I think you can guess the answer to that one,” he replied and figured it said enough. “Did you tell her I came back?”

Colter pursed his lips, and Russell took it as a sign of admission. So his mother knew. Great…

“Sorta,” Colter admitted hesitantly.

“What d’she say?” Russell almost smiled out of amusement. He already knew the answer, but his brother still seemed reluctant. “C’mon, you can tell me. I’m not gonna be butthurt after twenty years…”

“She told me to ignore you,” Colter finally confessed, but the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. They had ever since his mother said them, but even more so now that he knew his brother – and parts of the truth.

“Hmm,” Russell hummed with tight lips and ground his jaw.

Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.

“But I actually haven’t talked to her in a while now,” Colter added with a small shrug, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah, uh, and when I did, I didn’t exactly tell her I didn’t take her advice, you know? So…”

“Why not?” Russell’s brow furrowed a little more as he analyzed each word, simultaneously realizing why he had been so reluctant to share his life with Colter before – his subconscious had been afraid his alienated little brother would report back to the mothership.

Colter’s lips pursed. “Because I disagree.”

“Ah.”

Colter chewed on his lower lip. “Look, I know you and Dory wanna keep all of this in the past and play family – and trust me, I want that too,” he assured, but his heart was beating fast in his chest. “But I need to know, man. I need to know why she lied about this for twenty years and, you know, did all of this,” he insisted, and yet, Russell could tell he wasn’t done. He might have broken the dam. “She did it to you. I mean, aren’t you mad?”

“Of course I’m mad,” the older Shaw admitted, but there was no fire behind his words.

“Then why are you so calm?”

Amused, Russell chuckled, shrugging. “Probably ‘cause I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you, little brother.”

“So, what are we gonna do now?”

“We ain’t gonna do anything,” Russell clarified, his voice stern. He’d die to protect his family, you and the kids, and do anything in his power to keep you out of it, but Colter was a grown-up – a free agent. If he didn’t want to listen, Russell couldn’t force him. “Look, you wanna find out, you go find out. And if you do find something and need help, you call. But I can’t be involved in this,” he explained, his firm expression morphing into something more vulnerable and sincere. “And frankly, I don’t care that much. You, me, Dory, Y/N, the kids – that’s all that matters, trust me. You’re not gonna feel better or more… whole after finding those answers.”

“How do you know? Do you know what really happened?” Colter instantly asked, and Russell knew in that moment, it’d be hopeless. His brother wouldn’t stop till he found it – forever restless.

“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.

“What about Y/N?”

Russell froze at the bare mention of your name, his protective instincts kicking in. “Leave her out of this,” he all but snarled.

But Colter didn’t think about stopping. “Did you ever ask her? I mean, she’s CIA. She could probably find out something, right?”

“Yeah, I asked her once, alright? Was a long time ago,” Russell admitted, sighing. The intended lie would stick better if there was some truth to it – you had taught him that.

“C’mon, Russ… And?” Colter impatiently threw his arms up, brow raising higher and higher as he waited for an answer.

“She never found anything,” Russell said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

This time, it wasn’t just an omission. It was a blatant lie.

“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?”

Quietly, Colter shook his head.

Colter took everything in with a nod but didn’t say anything more.

“You good over there?” Russell checked after a full minute had passed.

“Yeah,” Colter said and even tried to form a reassuring smile before the attempt failed. Instead, he swallowed. “Just a lot, you know? I didn’t know. I mean, I had some idea, but not-… not that.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Russell said, his voice almost a whisper in the silence of the night. “Like I said, you were a kid…”

When Russell finally left the car to sneak back to you, his shoulders felt a little lighter and his heart a little calmer. He might just float through that unlatched window tonight.

The bad news was, though, he might not be able to retire just yet.

Part 5: This Is a Start

Honestly, I should've called this chapter "Heart-to-Heart Part II" 😂 I'll see you for the finale next week, but as you know, it's not the end for them – only just the beginning 😉

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