#but they’re all misogynistic in some way or another

[sunnist4rs]

I hate men because today after years of my brother mocking me whenever I talk about something I’m well informed on by saying I did no research I finally told him how much it upsets me. So straight after he brought up my male assault statistics and called them fake before leaving.

[graveyard-galaxy]

The way physical violence was focused on and upped in episode 3 really got me thinking specifically about how Ashley actually responds to it. Because, like…

When we start in the flashback at the start of the episode, we get given a clear picture of Renee’s stance on using it as disciplinary action, and for all that she is shitty and cruel and neglectful and spitefully manipulative in every scene that she’s in, one line that she won’t cross with the kids that she’s barely parenting is hitting them, and she tells Andrew as much.

Albeit aggressively, but what she’s saying here is obviously that she doesn’t believe it will make a difference, and that she won’t allow that to be how Andrew is forced to parent Ashley for her. To be fair, it is quite in line with her general methods of getting what she wants usually through manipulation, but it is, perhaps, a single redeeming factor about her parenting style, and represents a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

(It’s also possible indicative of her own childhood, which is interesting considering what her mother had to say about Douglas’s father in the Renee and Douglas vision, but I digress. This isn’t a Renee analysis or apologist post.)

But another piece of backstory that these flashbacks give us is that, perhaps unsurprisingly, Andrew and Ashley lived with their grandparents for a few years, before their actual parents. Renee was kicked out and had no money, so of course Douglas’s parents were left with Andrew and Ashley for an unknown amount of years. And their parenting style was… different. Seemingly not as neglectful as Renee’s, and I do think we get the sense that even if Douglas’s mother is just as much of a doormat as he is, and refuses to stand up to her husband (and given the wife beating mentions, is possibly not in the position to) she does genuinely care about her grandkids. So at their grandparents there’s… parenting. Maybe not good parenting, but still some parenting.

Interacting with the swing in the yard, Andrew recounts a short memory of how exactly his grandfather tended to respond to him (or presumably Ashley) doing anything wrong.

Woohoo, the kids aren’t abandoned, but they’re still blamed for things that aren’t their fault, and they’re beat for their troubles too!

But seriously, this obviously goes to show that before Andrew and Ashley moved in with their parents, physical violence was on the table against them as punishment. Andrew certainly remembers it, and we can speculate to what degree that informs his response to Renee about hitting Ashley later, but in particular, it’s Ashley I’d like to actually focus on here.

I don’t think it’s too big of a logical leap to assume that if Andrew was beaten by his grandfather, so was Ashley, given said grandfather’s horribly misogynistic views and obvious tendency towards beating his wife. And as unfortunate as it would be, I have to wonder… Did Ashley actually respond to this? In some way did she, or perhaps more likely Andrew, ever figure out how to behave to avoid it?

Looking forward to the present day, physical violence hasn’t been properly levelled against her in a while. Andrew supposedly attempts to choke her out in episode 1, but she notes that he wasn’t squeezing hard enough to actually choke her. And they get up in each other’s faces, and they yell, and she has a vision about him straight up killing her, but to some extent all of this is just not quite that far, or a true ultimatum. Never is Ashley actually faced with physical violence as any kind of punishment despite it being noted all the way back in episode 1 that Andrew has physical strength beyond her, as he is able to keep trying to kick the door down where she notes she doesn’t at all have the energy.

It’s a possibility in spirit. Andrew has the physical advantage and he could so easily use that against her, but it’s all presented as a game to Ashley in the first few episodes – one that she thinks Andrew isn’t actually trying at. She’s not even especially afraid of the prospect until the episode 2 Decay vision shows that he’s fully willing to kill her, and at some point in the near future too. That’s still an ultimatum more than it is a direct punishment, but it presents the idea to her that for all she thought he was playing around, no, Andrew would be willing to go there.

And then, this is followed through on in any Decay playthrough where Andrew is willing to grow a spine. He crosses the line that Renee set up, and that gives the moment a lot of narrative weight.

He slaps her, and her expression tells us a lot here. She wasn’t expecting something like this from him either, because of some combination of to not being a punishment she’s actually faced since childhood, Andrew never having gotten like this with her properly before, and how quick and sudden it is. This isn’t just a death threat or potentially far-off vision of him killing her; he’s actually done it now.

Their subsequent conversation is quite interesting too:

"What's with that look? You're the one who put violence on the table."

"...I-!! I didn't mean to............."

"Honestly it's all the same at this point."

Given the characters, we definitely shouldn’t necessarily take their words at face value, but even with that, I do think some part of Ashley is sincere here. When she held the cleaver to his neck, and when she offered a death threat, she still thought that she was just playing. This isn’t any different to Andrew taking his hands to her neck but not pressing hard enough to choke her, to her. She’s back-pedalling quite so hard to try and keep him, of course, this is Ashley we’re talking about… But I also don’t doubt that her sentiment is genuine. She didn’t exactly mean to.

And Andrew’s response tells us exactly why he’s so willing to cross that line. He just doesn’t care! Renee’s dead, so he doesn’t have to care about her rules and policies, and given how cynical he feels towards his life at this point, perhaps he wouldn’t care anyway. If this is a genuine way to get a response from Ashley, then he’ll try it, because for all that his mask of trying for normalcy is still up at this point, this is just between the two of them, where it!s always mattered the least, and as it is, that mask is quickly slipping.

I’d like to note this part of Ashley’s reaction as well, because, well… First we see that same shock as immediately after, but I’ve thought the exact same thing about that second frame, ever time I’ve seen it. With the background and the tears, isn’t this such a Leyley reaction? Such a Leyley expression?

Decay, especially Shots and Such which can follow on from this, is all about Ashley clinging to the Andy and Leyley dynamic to both of their detriments. It changes form as she feels she needs to adapt and find new ways to keep her Andy, but she’s constantly affirming whether or not she has Andy or Andrew because the violence and the hate all comes from Andrew to her, so when she’s continually trying to play Leyley, it keeps coming as a shock.

Andrew slaps her in the car, and she can only react as Leyley would. She never wants to be Ashley, because Ashley never fits into their games, and because Ashley has always been subconsciously rejected by Andrew. Being Ashley would mean facing what Andrew has done here rather than just making petty jokes about it for the rest of the episode and crying like I imagine she would have if her grandfather hit her.

But the cycle of violence only gets worse once Andrew continues to stew in apathy, and as perhaps he realises, that it does get a desired reaction from her. Ashley doesn’t respond in the long term to any threat that he throws, but she’s genuinely scared by the prospect of what him actually killing her means to her, and getting violent against her is a piece of that.

Part of what Shots and Such emphasises is that, even if it never works in the long run, Ashley does respond respond to violence, and that through out all of the ending, it remains Andrew’s way of fighting her.

This doesn’t exactly paint a happy picture of how Andrew regularly treats her. Er… Not that just about anything in Shots and Such is especially happy…

But it once again perpetuates the cycle of violence. Ashley gets actually violent now too, when she can. She makes sex painful for Andrew when she can, because that’s the degree of control she still has as someone who can’t a fight back when Andrew gets physical with her. She’s physically weaker, and with the bathroom lock torn down behind her, she has nowhere to hide. He beats her to short term avail to make himself feel better, and to keep her in line for tiny amount of time, and she gives that right back when she has her own opportunities.

And that’s all without actually talking about the scene of her getting beat.

Ashley’s a terrible person, but this scene is still very genuinely upsetting, because once again, something in her reaction comes across as genuine. She apologises profusely as her only way of even trying to get him to stop, and she goes back to the convenient story of being the scapegoat. She’s the problem, just like how he wants it to be. This doesn’t actually stop any of the heinous stuff she does to him after this point – if anything, it just makes her more desperate to try and exert control back when she gets the chance – but for a short while, it works. She shuts up and leaves him alone. She just makes cookies because that’s all that she can fathom that she’s good for.

Renee was right that hitting Ashley would never fix her behaviour. She was right after her grandfather had presumably done it to her as a young kid, and that was never the attention she needed, and she was right after Andrew crossed the line she set because she’s gone, and he has nothing left to lose. Hitting Ashley never teaches her any kind of actual lesson, save, of course, from how to act when people get violent with her.

All that’s learnt is how to behave in the short term to get the immediate beating to stop, and that’s enough for Andrew. Their push and pull has turned into violent fits against each other for control for just a short while, but he genuinely can’t care for it to be another way. After beating Ashley, he just once again reiterates that “I don’t care either way at this point” and that’s that.

It never fixes her behaviour, but it reinforces his. Just like his grandfather, Andrew becomes a wife beater, and he crosses Renee’s line for just a short moment of power and control. His spine is now like a gummy worm because he’s stuck in the easy cycle.

[midnite-c6]

hear me out — nam-gyu is actually soooo icky. i don’t care what anyone tells me. he’s a icky icky man. he’s so fucking mean too. he thinks of women as possessions (he’s sooo misogynistic. you can’t convince me otherwise) like what do you mean women are their own person and can control their own lives?! no…. they are possessions!

additionally, he is sooo convincing with his words — he can get anyone to trust him quite easily (especially if they’re naive) and he’s taking full advantage of that.

honestly nam-gyu probably has anyone naive trying things they were always against. he has such a way with words when it comes to getting anyone to open up or doing what he wants them to do. he'll give them everything they need to get them to say yes even if it means making promises he doesn't even plan to keep or fulfill.

also, no one can convince me otherwise that this man doesn’t have a thing for trad wives. he definitely likes the idea of codependency and the fact that someone clings to him like a second skin (but let’s be honest, he definitely doesn’t make it out to seem like he likes it — it’s always constant degradation from him: “stupid bitch, can’t ever do anything for yourself, huh? i have to do everything for you”). also likes the idea of baby trapping, because you can’t leave him ♡ but 100% does not like kids.

i also can see him fetishizes the FUCK out of lesbians (once again… this man is ICKY) and i definitely feel like if he was the type to get into a relationship with someone who is bisexual (or closeted lesbian. specifically if he coerces them) he would exploit the shit out of it. bro definitely has a premium subscription to ph. constantly doom scrolling to find something he hasn’t watched yet (specifically lesbians or threesomes (two girls, one guy) it’s definitely one of his biggest fantasies. he is soo gross ♡)

he would probably likes giving some naive, lightweight (never done drugs before) drugs that he knows they wouldn’t be able to handle just so he they can take advantage.

I AM GOING INSANEEEE. i am clawing and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

warnings: 18+, DARK content, dubcon, baby trapping

bro i am so sorry i haven't let this out to the public sooner, this is so good and factual fr 💔 like this guy is an misogynistic incel honestly, idfc what anyone else says, u literally can see it in the show how he treats se-mi. he's a meanie.

THE PH SUBSCRIPTION IS SO REAL. also, forces or not, makes u watch porn with him, the disgusting ones like heavy bondage/bdsm, prolly whilst sticking a wand vibrator on ur clit in a setting that's intense BUT wont make u cum so its pure torture..

guys has anyone done se-mi x reader x nam-gyu ? like hello? hello????? ITS RIGHT THERE prolly would watch u & se-mi whilst he's cucking himself. or he's right in the middle of the action, both ur pussies rubbing on his dick.

also, i love nam-gyu corruption kink, to someone whos absolutely clean, pure, law abiding citizen, prolly doesnt even know half of the kinks or stuff u see in pornhub, BUT THAT'S WHY NAM-GYU EXISTS!! to teach you allat, to corrupt u :^

i just dont feel like hes a good person at all, in smut mindset, and in fr the character, hes those toxic bfs who's only "strong" cuz u're just a lil bit weaker than him. and if u try to leave, nuh-uh, u can't, u wanted a child to begin with right?

"fuck you mean, 'i'm leaving you'? bitch please," he scolds, pumping another load inside- straight to your womb, "you wanna be a single mom?" you shake your head immediately, you were on birth control.. but maybe not... oh no! "then don't bullshit me with saying you're 'leaving me'... you know you love me." let's just hope he'll be a good dad... (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

if anyone needs a fluffy lovey namgyu smut this aint the place.. jk, i would prolly post one too heheh <3 also, now i wanna make a full on incel!nam-gyu x reader smut mannn

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

to people who don’t know c!tommy lore btw, here’s a quick tl;dr.

he is a fictional character. he’s not real life TommyInnit. none of this applies to real life TommyInnit to my knowledge idk I don’t watch him. maybe he died and came back to life due to black magic idk but it’d be unrelated to c!Tommy anyway.

quick summation of his personality is that he's basically like the most loud fucking obnoxious little brat ever but he’s also got a big heart. he’s great. 10/10.

he's also a child soldier who suffered through severe child abuse and a whole lot of other shit. his trauma was suprisingly really well portrayed for a sixteen year old RPing their oc in minecraft. basically his whole Thing is that he was a traumatised teenager who wasn’t a perfect victim but was still written really sympathetically. his fanbase is mostly mentally ill trauma survivors from all I’ve seen bc of that.

despite that, for some fucking reason his canonical ending is killing himself after saying all he wants is a simple life, Getting That In The Afterlife, and being bffsies with his abuser. total tonal whiplash, sudden ableism, it’s a nightmare and makes zero sense.

real life tommyinnit talks about this being the start of another arc he has planned and is pissed at people being weird about c!tommy in chat. this arc is cancelled bc the irl dream is too busy being a misogynist on Twitter and handling his allegations in the worst way possible (probably bc if he had to handle them Well he’d have to talk about all the times he was weird to minors on stream including the irl tommyinnit and also a thirteen year old girl bc why the fuck not) so it just Ends implying that it’s good for abuse survivors to kill themselves. it’s real fucking bad.

2 years later tommy and his friends log on the server and just completely retcon that ending bc it’s dumb and sucks and now c!tommy is chilling living his best cottagecore life while his abuser is Presumably dead bc he’s a weirdo necromancer stalker who refuses to admit they’re not Besties, and he’s making up with the people he hurt. it is actually thematically appropriate and not ableist as shit! people celebrate bc CAN YOU BLAME US. CAN YOU FUCKING BLAME US WHEN WE WERE STUCK WITH THAT THIRTEEN REASONS WHY ASS SHIT

anyway c!tommy happy ending real 💚💚💚💚💚🇨🇿 i put the czech flag there by accident but it can stay.

[maaarine]

The Adolescence alarm: ‘If there’s a problem with boys’ behaviour, it’s because of us’ (Celina Ribeiro, The Guardian, March 28 2025)

"Research released by Wescott last year, based on qualitative interviews with 30 female teachers, found that sexism – long identified in research on schools – endures still, “resurrected in part by the ubiquity and influence of one specific misogynist ‘manfluencer’, Andrew Tate”.

An anonymous online survey of more than 130 South Australian teachers conducted by Schulz last year found teachers identifying a “heightened use of misogynistic language and behaviours by male students, some as young as five”.

If anything, says Wescott, by Adolescence focusing on this extreme expression of misogyny – the stabbing murder of one child by another – “we may miss a conversation about what is happening every day and the very routine and sometimes even mundane ways that these expressions of misogyny and sexism are coming from young boys in schools”.

The mundane is not hard to find.

At one inner-city primary school in an Australian capital, for example, after-school carers meet in advance of the students’ arrival to discuss the students of concern.

Not least the boy who came in one day declaring “kill all women”, and the boys who will respond only to male carers.

It’s all they talk about, one carer says – how the boys seem “like they’re mad about something that hasn’t even happened yet”.

At another school in a well-heeled Sydney suburb, boys in year six circulate an online ranking of the hotness of their female classmates.

The class parents’ WhatsApp chat is peppered by parents insisting it is not their boys, and parents of girls sharing their daughters’ distress.

Then there are other everyday expressions of misogyny that spill out of the group chats and into the broader conversation, including deepfake porn of girls, made by their male classmates, and elite school boys chorusing misogynistic chants on public transport. (…)

Salter recalls his own primary and high school years, where sexual harassment was rife and normalised.

The average age of sexual harassment of girls is prepubescent, he says, and “that’s been the case for decades”.

“I’m not suggesting there’s nothing new about what we’re seeing or experiencing, but I think there is a pronounced tendency to explain the types of violence that we’re seeing from adolescent boys at the moment according to social media, and frankly I think we’re potentially missing the forest for the trees here.

“We’ve got some really complex challenges on our hands with boys, and I think social media and Andrew Tate have become quite a convenient way to answer that question without really challenging some of our underlying assumptions that really need challenging …

I think we could cut off social media tomorrow and still have really high rates of violence committed against girls and women by teenage boys because frankly they’ve always been the group most at risk of committing gender-based violence, well before the internet.”

The problem of understanding whether this everyday misogyny is on the rise or stable in young boys and adolescents in schools is in part the result of a fundamental omission: we do not record it.

“We need a reporting instrument so that we get a sense of the magnitude of the issue, because it is bigger than we think,” says Schulz.

“Because oftentimes particularly women teachers will learn not to say anything because the blowback from the institution can be just as bad.”

However, the first step is even more basic, says Wescott.

“Before we could even measure or record [misogynistic behaviour or gender-based violence] we would need to use accurate language to describe what is going on,” she says.

“Schools will often avoid using this kind of precise language, like reporting behaviour as misogyny or sexual harassment or sexual violence or gender-based violence.

And in a way, I understand that these are very adult concepts.

“But calling it bullying, for example, which is one euphemism that is sometimes used, it misrepresents the gendered element,” she says.

“We need to recognise the fact that this is happening in the first place, and be willing to mend it.”"

[reaping-the-benefits]

found your medic reader x price au yesterday and to say i have been OBSESSED is an understatement.

got me thinking about price getting invited to a dinner with the bigwigs, commendation for a job well done. after dinner the when they’re all loose lipped from good whiskey, some of the men start making crude comments about medic reader. how lucky the 141 is to have a good bit of eye candy, handy for a lot of things out there wink wink. and price just listens to them calmly, puffing away at his cigar until they run out of jokes and start to realize he’s not laughing.

“that’s my wife you’re talkin’ about.”

Anon, you got me giggling and kicking my feet. I haven't had any proper time to dedicate to their story (want to write how they met maybe, if anyone's interested.) And I love love LOVE this idea!!!

Content warning: MDNI suggestive content, misogynistic comments, drinking and smoking, brief mention of violence.

Price never really cared for these stupid dinner parties. It's like that one saying: if you've been to one, you've been to them all. And if he's being honest, he'd much rather be at home, with you and the cats.

But the task force has been doing exceptionally well, catching terrorists and breaking up crime rings, so it's about due time that he gets invited to another one. Technically, he could decline his own invite, send Ghost to it instead. But that feels like a punishment for Ghost, and Price isn't looking to be dealing out punishment. Or dealing with a pissed off Lieutenant.

So, here he is, dressed in a suit and sitting in some stuffy parlor. The only good thing about these events is that the Colonel has good taste in cigars and whiskey. For the most part, Price can drown them all out, thinking about you while he's sipping his whiskey.

You. The sweet thing that keeps his bed warm and only occasionally drives him up the wall. You, who had been on your knees not even ten minutes before he was supposed to leave. Your hands on his belt loops, a pretty pleading look in your eyes, your mouth on his -

A cacophony of laughter breaks Price from his thoughts, He blinks, turning his attention back to the group of men he's sitting with.

"Lost in thought there, Captain?" one of them asks, humored by something Price must've missed.

"Cut him some slack. I would be too, if I worked so closely with that pretty medic of theirs," another says.

"Pretty, but they've got such an attitude," the first one comments.

"Bratty thing like that just needs to be bent over the Captain's knees."

"Or a desk. Isn't that right, Price?"

The men laugh again, the sound filling the parlor. And it's only when they settle down, laughter dying in quiet chuckles, that they realize Price isn't laughing along. In fact, he's holding onto his glass so tightly, it's a miracle that it hasn't broke yet. Before any of them can say anything, Price tells him, his voice low and tone full of warning.

"That's my wife you're talkin' about."

These men might be above him in rank, but Price has never really cared about any of that anyway. The 141 doesn't run the way it does by following the rules. Getting things done, regardless of any of the rules one might be breaking, is how the world runs.

They could've talked poorly about him, talked poorly about the 141, and he wouldn't be as seething mad as he is now. But no. Your name came out of their mouths, followed by blatant disrespect for you and all your hard work. As your husband, Price will not be letting that slide.

And as he slams his knuckles into the Colonel's nose, Price thinks of you. The pretty little thing he's got waiting for him at home. Maybe he should bend you over his desk. Heaven knows you're overdue for a good fuck in his office. But that will be after you bandage up his hands, chiding him softly for hurting himself. He won't tell you what happened at the dinner party, or why he came home with bloody knuckles, but the flowers you receive from the Colonel a week later gives you all the insight you need to know.

[kopfkino-o]

Three Sisters: The Beacons of Change

Been a minute since I yapped on the internet and I’m bored on a long layover so here we go! A few housekeeping items before we dig in:

This post is pro Nesta, Feyre, and Elain. I love them all.

Some of the discourse involves pro-Elriel ramblings. This post is largely about Elain herself, so I’ll be including her general tag in this post, but wanted to make note of the Elriel discourse in case that isn’t your cuppa.

A huge shoutout to @jasmineandcedar and @nikachansstuff for the inspiration on this post. Their post/comment largely inspired this.

My thoughts are never coherent and all of this is just my opinion. Also I didn't edit this whatsoever lmao.

If any of these things aren’t for you, no worries, but peace out Girl Scout, keep on keeping you're peace. If you're interested and ready to read more then let's get on into it!

One interesting theme I picked up on within the ACOTAR series is change. More specifically, inciting change on not only a personal level, but also on the societal level. And I’m of the mind that each sister is meant to spark some sort of change, both within themselves as they get their healing arc, but also within the greater Prythian society as they come into power.

Let’s start with Feyre darling.

The First High Lady

Before Feyre came to Prythian, before her story, there were no High Ladies. Or at least the history of them were lost to society as we learned in the CC3 series. Females were not welcome to the role of 'High Lady'. They were not equals to the High Lords, even as their mates.

But with Feyre’s rebirth, with her sacrifice as the Curse Breaker, she rose to power in a way that changed fae society. She was the first High Lady. And we can see that this change spread with Viviane becoming the High Lady of Winter.

Feyre, as a monarch, represents ruling power. The power to command. She is the Crown. And with her character arc she brought change to Prythian in that she opened the door for other High Ladies to take their thrones. She challenged the misogynic lens on which Prythian viewed political leaders and proved that women can have their own political power.

The Valkyrie Reborn

Before Nesta, before her being Made, the Valkyries were lost to the world. The systems in place, largely those in Illyria as we saw in the forefront of her novel, believed women couldn’t be warriors. That they were lesser, weaker.

But with Nesta’s healing, and the revival of the Valkyries alongside Emerie and Gwyn, she challenged this. A challenge that was overcome in the Blood Rite.

With Nesta, she proved that women can have physical power. That they can be warriors. She brought about the rebirth of the Valkyries: an all female army. She challenged yet another societal (and misogynistic) standard within Prythian.

The Bondbreaker

Warning: Pro-Elriel content below

Like her sisters, I think Elain Archeron will also challenge an aspect of Prythian society. But the way she changes society and challenges it will be different than that of her sister's. Like Elain's personality, I believe her own defiance will be softer. Rooted in the heart and emotions.

But damn will it be a choice that radiates through the narrative.

As it stands in Prythian, mating bonds are sacred. Holy. They’re something not to be questioned, no matter what. As we learn from Rhys, some mates aren’t even true matches in spirit, but the bond is regarded so highly that females accept it any way, despite what they want for themselves for their lives. For their hearts.

Tamlin's parents and Rhysand's own mother and father are excellent examples of mated pairs who aren't "true pairings of souls". And I'd argue that SJM introduced these pairings to the narrative as a way to hold a mirror up to Elain's own mating bond.

I believe Elain will challenge this societal standard by rejecting her mating bond. Autonomy and freewill is a huge theme with her character and rejecting the bond would be the culmination of this. More of my yapping on this can be found here.

Elain's choice would also be a sign to other females with unwanted bonds that they too have a choice. That the bonds don’t always know best. That perhaps the Cauldron doesn't always know best. Elain’s rejection of the bond would spark change in Prythian, just like her sister’s arcs sparked change.

Note: Yapped a bit about the lore drops in CC3 and the implications of it in my post here. I personally believe there's two forces warring in the Cauldron (the Mother v. the Asteri's corruption) and believe it raises some interesting implications...

The TLDR: Each Sister is a Beacon of Change

Feyre, the monarch, challenged the system surrounding females in positions in power. With her, the role of High Ladies was reborn and the stigma in Prythian surrounding female leaders was fought.

Nesta, the warrior, challenged existing systems surrounding the strength and validity of female warriors. Through her, the Valkyries were reborn.

With Elain, I theorize that she'll lead a quieter rebellion. But one long overdue. She'll challenge the issue of fate, of the Cauldron's eddies and the Mother's will, over the heart. She'll challenge the heart. The bond. And stand in defiance of it.

okkk bye!

[bbunisre]

02: MEGUMI IS LIGHTWEIGHT (1.3k words)

Panda’s parties are always the same—borderline annoying, misogynistic rap music pulsating in your ears and a lot of dancing. A lot. So when you enter the party, swinging your car keys with your fingers and shooting acknowledging nods at mutuals, you’re not surprised to see the same once again.

“They’re here!” a rogue Panda yells, coming through with a red cup.

He hands another one he's holding to you, an unspoken understanding of your frequent drinking habits. It wasn’t that you were an alcoholic (past you would say something else) but you were known for your high tolerance.

“Where’s that bastard Toge? I need to have a word with him.” I ask Panda.

“Oh, I think he’s upstairs. Probably making out with some chick, I don’t know.” Panda shrugs easily.

Even if Panda is the closest to Toge, you know in a heartbeat that Toge is not easily drawn to the temptations of lust as easily as Panda thinks he is. In fact, you guess that Toge's most likely playing on his Switch upstairs, avoiding the party that Panda’s forced him to come to.

You turn to Tsumiki, “I’ll go. Will you be alright?”

“Yeah, all good,” she smiles at me, “Come back soon though. Don’t kill Toge.”

Megumi’s listening to your conversation whilst Yuuji and Nobara argue about who’s the beer pong champion out of the two of them at the entrance of the house. You pull them by their sleeves so they’re not in the way of passing guests anymore.

Sometimes, it feels like you’re babysitting them.

“Can’t promise, babes,” you tell her with a half-shrug.

Tsumiki’s phone starts ringing, “One second.”

She steps out to take the call, leaving you and Megumi a foot apart from each other, “Megumi, how about you?”

“Sorry?” he asks.

Forgetting what Toge's said is a lot more challenging than you expected. You push down the uneasiness in your gut.

“It’s your first party, is it not? How are you feeling?” you ask.

Megumi's expressions are hard to read but after being around him for so long, you’ve become accustomed to his body language.

“I will be alright. Thank you.” he replies politely.

You smile, patting his shoulder, “I’ll come and check on you later.”

Megumi nods and you take your leave to the second floor, a breath of fresh air coddling you at the escape. When you see the familiar Toge in Panda’s bedroom, your estimate is correct. Toge is sprawled on Panda’s bed, playing some Otome game on his Switch. He says he plays it because it’s cringe and he wants to make fun of it...you're starting to think that he really does enjoy it.

“Y/N.” Toge notes.

“Toge.” you reply, sitting on the bed next to him.

He switches off the game and turns to you as you take a languid sip of the drink, “Has Megumi asked you out yet?”

You almost choke in the process, furrowing your eyebrows and swallowing properly. Setting the drink aside, you hit Toge, “You’re out of your mind. He doesn't like me.”

“I mean, it’s always been kind of obvious if you ask me.”

“What are you talking about?” you sigh, “There’s nothing. You’re being delusional.”

Toge rolls his eyes, “No, you are. And he does have a massive crush on you because he was so desperate to believe that you didn’t like girls.”

“That’s a huge sentence coming from your mouth,” you comment, laying down next to him.

The reverberations of the music downstairs make its way up Panda’s creepy staircase and into the bedroom walls.

“He does,” Toge affirms, “I’m sure of it. Besides those tweets, there’s definitely something there.”

“Why are you so insistent about it?” you ask, turning to the white-haired boy.

It’s odd; Toge is usually reserved and calm so when you see him ramble passionately about Megumi, you’re not too sure what it can mean.

“I don’t know,” he answers, turning to you also, “But remember when you broke up with…?”

He waits with bated breath for you to approve.

You sigh, “You can say Choso, Toge.”

“Yeah, Choso...” he nods along, “When you broke up with him last year, he always asked about you through me. You were a mess, a really bad mess, like a really, really, really—“

“A mess. Got it.” you state, remembering those tearful nights.

“Don’t know why he didn’t ask Tsumiki. Maybe he was scared of being found out. Maybe—“

“Maybe he didn’t want Tsumiki to keep thinking about me. Don’t you remember how worried she was about me then? He probably didn’t want to pressure her and he couldn’t ask me because I wasn’t talking to anyone.” you theorise.

“I mean, you could be right but those Tweets.”

“The kids were probably just making fun of him.” you say, getting up.

“Where you going?” he asks.

“Chill, princess. I'm not gonna leave you now.” you respond, walking towards the opened balcony. You can’t believe Panda gets this whole view to himself.

Toge follows you outside and the two of you sink onto the couch outside, watching the neighbourhood as Toge passes you a joint from Panda’s secret stash.

An hour later, you remembered that you’d go check on Megumi. Sure Tsumiki is there too but she’s super popular, everyone will be talking to her while Megumi explores the unfamiliar terrain by himself.

So you say goodbye to the high Toge and walk back downstairs. Everyone’s dancing and hands drag you to dance but you push them away, saying you need to use the bathroom.

“Where is he?” you ask yourself, wondering around Panda’s house.

You see Tsumiki and Panda talking on the couch, Yuuji and Nobara playing beer pong but where’s Megumi? He's gotta be here somewhere.

“Y/N…”

A heavy hand lands around your shoulders.

“Megumi! Are you okay?”

Megumi’s lids are heavy as he leans onto you.

“Did you drink?”

“I…I thought he said it was a mocktail. I think I had too many cocktails.”

Of course he did.

“Okay, relax. I can’t drive right now because I drank too, but we can go out for a breather, how does that sound? There isn’t much space here for you to sit down.”

Megumi nods, barely processing your words with his eyes closed.

You inhale and prepare for the journey through the pushy and overly welcoming crowd as you make your way to the front door. The excited partygoers ask about his conditions but you give them brief summaries as you battle through the crowd. Finally, when you’re through the front door with a heavy Megumi, you make him sit on the porch’s stairs, “Wait here. I’m gonna get Tsumiki to drive you home.”

As you’re about to leave, he grabs your bicep, “Don’t go.”

You’re staring.

Very obviously staring.

“Please…” he whispers weakly.

“Okay, I won’t.” you answer, sitting next to him. There aren’t many people coming in and out of the party now. Most of them are getting drunk.

Right now, you’re trapped in your own world with Megumi. The last thing you wanted to do tonight, especially after what Toge told you. You didn't know he cared for you that much.

But it can't be true. Megumi can't like you. You're his sister's best friend.

The silence is louder than the rap music playing inside.

“How are you feeling?”

“I regret coming.” he responds.

Slowly, his head tips to your shoulder. You’re not sure if he’s realised he’s done it or the alcohol has consumed every working thought in him.

All you can muster is a nod as you’re glued to his side—thighs pressed together, shoulders smashed and his unruly hair prickling your cold neck.

If what Toge says is true, which it’s not, what would you do in this situation? Would you confront Megumi or would you flee?

“I can go get Tsumiki—“

“Y/N.” he states.

“Yes, Megumi?”

You can’t stop that gut-wrenching sensation in your stomach. Megumi looks up at you, long eyelashes fluttering open. You know what’s coming before it even comes.

“I like you. I like you a lot.”

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

TAGLIST: @k4romis @moonmalice @ahseyy @loltartaglia @sircatchungus @rinowinne @sad-darksoul @br66klynbaby @nymphsdomain @pastatata @tobaccosunbxrst @zellwa @porcobrainr0t 

LENA'S NOTES - another chapter because ily guys <33

[malum-forev]

A Place I Once Called Home

Summary: The four times Bucky showed up at your place unexpected. 

The first time Bucky came stumbling into your apartment was a few weeks after he moved into the building. You’d been living in New York for quite some time so you weren’t oblivious to The Avengers and the fact that they resided in the same apartment complex. It was actually one of the reasons you paid the premium for living there. So what if your landlord hiked up the rent twice a year and there were some broken windows thanks to aliens trying to get to the superheroes when they’re least expecting it, right? It was all in the name of safety. Or so you thought.

Your friends had left hours ago, and although you loved your weekly wine and cheese night you sometimes hoped they would stay after to help you clean the dishes. You hummed along to the song that was quietly playing, the small speaker filling your whole apartment. At first you thought the rattling you heard was part of the melody. But a chill went through your spine as you heard a loud thump at your door, making you almost drop the wine glass into the soapy water. 

As you dried your hands and walked towards the door there was another loud bang against your door. You clutched the baseball bat hidden behind your TV, a lovely present from a misogynistic ex-boyfriend. He’d thought it be ‘cute’ to show you how to hold a bat. There’s only one fucking way to hold a bat you mansplaining son of a- bang! 

‘You don’t have time to think about this right now!’ You scolded yourself. 

You peered through the peephole to find two male figures trying to pick your lock, the handle rattled. 

One, two, three deep breaths and you opened the door, bat clutched and ready to hit anything and everything. A woman ready for battle, adrenaline rushed through your veins, blood rushing to your head. But before you could even unleash your first swing, one of the men dropped near your knees with a thump and a groan. Half of his body inside your apartment while his long legs sprawled across the hallway. 

“Buck! You said your apartment was 213!” The man you soon recognized as Captain America said, shooting you a ‘You have no idea how sorry I am’ face with reddened cheeks. 

You stood inside your apartment with mouth agape as you watched one of Earths Mightiest Heroes struggle to pull another super up from your floor. 

“Miss I am truly sorry to have interrupted you.” Captain America apologized. “I’m Steve and the man who is currently petting your slippers is my friend Bucky.”

Your brows furrowed as you looked down at the man known as the Winter Soldier running his hand through the fur of your plush husky shaped slippers.

“I’m more of a cat guy but these two doggies look friendly. What-“ he hiccupped. “are their names?”

His steel blue eyes followed yours as Steve picked him off the floor and leaned him against your doorframe. 

“Ma’am, are you okay?” It was until Steve asked you the question that you realized you hadn’t answered.

You shook your head to try and reset your brain. “I’m sorry, yes I’m good it’s just that- well I know some superheroes live here I just didn’t think two Avengers would come knocking on my door. 

“I’m not an Avenger.” Bucky grumbled, closing his eyes for what he thought was a second. What actually happened was that he lost his balance and ended up falling forward into you. It took all of your strength to not topple over. 

“For fucks sake.” Steve muttered under his breath, he usually didn’t swear but his best friend was making his patience wear down, as he peeled Bucky off of you.

“You smell really nice.” Bucky slurred with a loopy smile. 

 “Just to wrap things up, we’re extremely sorry for trying to break into your apartment, for probably scaring you half to death and for anything and everything Bucky’s said.” Steve smiled before turning right and lugging his friend down the hallway.

“His apartment is down this way!” You said pointing to the left side. “216, on the other side of the hall.”

“Thank you ma’am. Have a good night.” Steve huffed hiking up Bucky’s arm on his shoulder, as they passed your apartment again. 

“Thank you pretty lady.” Bucky said with a singsong tone and a wink. 

The second time you found Bucky in your apartment was a few weeks later. He had walked past your door a total of six times in the last few hours. The mission was to give you an iced coffee for your troubles the other night. And as of today, he was two weeks and four days late on completing the mission. The original plan was to stop by the day after he’d drunkenly showed up at your door, but the anxiety and panic that had settled into his bones made him jump back into his place anytime he heard your door open.

“What if she doesn’t drink coffee? She’ll think it’s disrespectful of me to bring her that.” He convinced himself. So the only logical thing to do was to follow you around for a couple of days. Maybe this way he would find out your exact order and get it right. Not telling his therapist what he was up to would be smart. 

After a few days he got your order right and even found out what kind of flowers you liked. 

Days passed and the petals from the bouquet he bought started falling off, the ice on your coffee was long gone. Another worried crease appeared on his forehead as he contemplated walking to your apartment with nothing in his hands but no, the pretty lady with the beautiful eyes he thought he’d only dreamt about deserved more. 

So here he was, a new coffee in his right hand and a bouquet of flowers on his left one. But before he knew it, another problem raised. How the hell was he supposed to knock on your door. Was he supposed to use the right one and spill your coffee or would he have to hope that by using the left one the petals wouldn’t drop. He was about to abort the mission completely but then he heard your lock turn. 

With each second that passed, and God did he feel like millions passed, he grew more nervous. Was his hand actually sweating? That hadn’t happened since before he enlisted. 

But once you opened your door with that cheeky smile of yours, everything seemed to disappear.

“Should I be concerned about this habit of yours? Do you always lurk around women’s doors?” 

One sentence, that’s all it took for him to turn into putty. A useless puddle around your feet, begging for more of you, anything you’d give him. 

“I only lurk around the ones who I owe an apology to.” Bucky licked his lips, bringing forward the contents in his hands.

“Hmm, my orders exactly. Did you get lucky or did someone help you out?” You smiled at him as you took both gifts and walked back into your apartment. Bucky took you leaving the door open as an invitation. Did you always do this or were you letting him in because there was something unique? He urgently needed answers because in just a couple of minutes you’d already managed to make him feel special. 

“I’m a good at apologies and buying gifts.” Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, eyes glued to the floor. 

You bit the inside of your cheek. “You’re a pretty good liar but terrible at hiding. You’d think being a super-secret spy assassin would make you stealthy.”

His eyes widened first at your words then at your laughter. The sound rang in his head like a beautiful melody. 

“I saw you following me a couple of days ago.” You smiled, placing the flowers in a vase full of water. “In the coffee shop down the street, in the flower shop. I even saw you in the library, I’m almost positive you were reading a book upside down!”

The blush crept from the back of his neck up to the apples of his cheeks. 

“I wanted to make sure I got you the right coffee.” Bucky mumbled, his one chance with you and he’d blow it. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You trapped your bottom lip with your teeth as his body perked up hearing your words. 

“We can start again.” You held your hand out and told him your name. 

The third time was a month after the apology. In the last four weeks, the two of you had been spending every possible single second together. It started when you ‘accidentally’ came out of your apartments at the same time. Bucky would never admit that he was looking through his peephole and waiting for you to turn the knob on your door. 

“Good morning.” Bucky said with a fake yawn, acting like he hasn’t been up since 5:05am. He stretched his arms a little more than he had to, making sure you could catch a glimpse of his toned body under his dark t-shirt. Bucky knew he’d missed out on many things but flirting with you came naturally. “Do you know any good coffee places around here?”

You smiled at his obvious antics blushing like a schoolgirl. “There’s this place around the corner.”

Your morning coffee turned into a morning run and then coffee ritual, then breakfast was added. Afterwards, lunch at 12:30 and dinner at your house every Thursday. Which turned into dinner at alternating apartments every day of the week. 

But today you truly weren’t expecting him.

“I’ll see you on Monday okay? Coffees on me?” He’d mumbled against your hair two days ago, your body wrapped in his arms. “I just gotta go on this mission but I promise I’ll be back before our run.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, it felt like a bunch of thorns prickling your neck. In just a few short weeks he’d become an integral part of your life. You realized it was stupid to feel like this about someone who’d never even said he liked you but you couldn’t help but fall headfirst. “Please be safe.” 

He tilted your head up towards him and ran his knuckles down your cheek. Your soft skin soothed his rough hands. He couldn’t believe someone as angelic as you would even look at someone like him. His troubled mind and his past didn’t seem to affect you. You just saw him. For the first time in forever he felt scared to go to a mission, knowing he had something to lose. 

“I’ll be back sooner than you think, doll.” He smiled as he placed a kiss on the top of your head. 

Now, you found yourself being woken up by two soft knocks on your door. 11:45 pm on Sunday night. You must’ve fallen asleep on your couch, your TV asking you ‘Are you Still Watching?”

A bruised and bloody Bucky greeted you as you opened your door. A gasp escaped your lips.

“That bad huh?” Bucky chuckled, leaning against your doorframe. 

You dragged the Winter Soldier into your small bathroom and sat him on the edge of the tub, grabbing your first aid kit from underneath your sink. You sat in front of him, scooting your knees to rest on the inside of his legs, wiping the blood off of his cut lip. 

“Do you always come home like this?” You asked, throwing away another antiseptic wipe into the bin.

“I usually go to the med bay after missions.” Bucky shrugged, his eyes never leaving yours.

A worried look took over your features. “Why didn’t you go this time?”

“I made you a promise. If I’d gone all the way over there I wouldn’t have been able to make our run tomorrow.”

Your whole body fluttered and you couldn’t help yourself. You took Bucky’s face in your hands and you smashed your lips to his. Bucky held the back of your neck as he followed your lead. He kissed like a man starved, your kisses felt like the sun shining in the middle of a snowy winter. It lit him up inside. Before you knew it, you were dragging him from the bathroom into your bedroom, bumping into various furniture but not caring.

You only separated to take his shirt off. 

“Wait!” Bucky said, his jagged breath didn’t stop him from unbuckling his belt with one hand while the other was already working on the button of his jeans.

You tugged your shirt back down. “You want to stop?”

A loud laugh ripped through his chest. “No! God no. I was just going to ask you if we could keep our kisses to the left side of my mouth.” He pointed at his bruised lip.

You bit your bottom lip. “I think I could do that.”

He could come undone just by looking at you. Your sweet face only spoke words of temptation and he was more than happy to convert. 

The fourth time came eight months after he’d asked you to be his girlfriend. Everything had been great up until a month ago when the days started getting longer and the disappointment grew deeper. 

You’d arranged a special dinner with Bucky since he’d been working late recently and now he was three hours late, again. The food had already been in the fridge for a while and the candles blown out. 

He found you sitting on the fire escape when he came into the apartment, the faint smell of cigarettes lingered. 

“I thought you said you’d quit smoking a long time ago.” Bucky tried to joke but his words sounded harsher than he’d intended. 

“This isn’t working.” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around yourself.

Bucky chuckled, shoving a forkful of cold pasta into his mouth. “Of course it’s not working, you keep an old pack of cigarettes in the closet.”

He choked on a loose noodle as he saw your tear-stained face. You wiped your cheeks, your whole face felt hot. “You and I, Buck. We’re not working.”

This was it, the moment he’d been preparing for. He knew you would break sooner or later, who in their right mind would want to have an actual relationship with him. Someone who has to constantly sacrifice dinners and anniversaries, someone who risks his life on a daily basis, someone who risks the lives of loved ones on purpose. 

A few weeks back, he’d been interrogating someone linked to the Flag Smashers when he’d heard the words he’d been dreading. Your name slipped out of them like venom. They’d found out about his secret, Bucky had been guarding your love with his life but it wasn’t enough. You’d always be in danger with him.

But he couldn’t bear to leave you so he took the cowards way out. Spent more time at the compound, trained longer and drove mindlessly for hours, all so you would think he was busy with work or that he didn’t care. Maybe one day you would get tired and leave him because he sure as hell couldn’t bear to look you in the eyes and tell you it’s over.

And although he was expecting these words to come out of your mouth sooner or later, it still broke him. His heart fractured like porcelain, a deep hurt brewed in his body like a deep pit somehow appeared in his stomach.

“I understand.” He whispered, gluing his arms to his side because if he so much as touched the aura around you, he would drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. “I come with a lot of baggage and my job doesn’t really help so, I understand.”

A dry laugh escaped you, the sadness in your eyes turning into fury. “I knew what I was getting into when we started dating Buck. I knew you had hundred-year-old baggage weighing on you like a ton of bricks. I was also aware of your job description and even though I fucking hate seeing you hurt- and you have no idea how much it physically pains me to see you come through that door with a black eye and broken everything, I know it’s something I have to get over. Because I was willing to be with you, all of you.”

“We could have been like this forever, happy and in love. And every single day I would open that door and listen to the shit you have to put up with from all the people who don’t know you and clean your wounds and take care of you. I could have done that till the end of my life. But I can’t anymore, not when you lie. You’ve been lying about being at work when I know damned well you left hours ago. I cannot be with you if you won’t tell me what goes through your head. What troubles you. You won’t even say you love me, when I know for a fact you do.”

“You wait every single night until you think that I’ve fallen asleep and you say you love me over and over because you think I can’t hear you. But I do. And I love you, I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much that- that I’m willing to let you go. Because you sure as hell don’t want to stay, for some unknown reason you won’t tell me.”

“You won’t tell me even though I’ve proven to you that I can take care of your naked soul. No Winter Soldier, no vibranium, no Hydra. Just Bucky.” Your voice cracked. “So if you won’t admit that, then you should leave.”

Your words cut through Bucky like thousands of knives, each tear that fell from your face was a reminder of why he had to leave even though his whole body begged him to stay. He would hurt you more if he stayed- so that’s what he did, he left. Without a word he walked out of the apartment that had become a true home to him for the first time in decades and never looked back. Not when you slammed the door and not when he heard you sob. 

Part 2: Hurry Back Home

Wanna read more like this? Here’s my latest post. 💖

Authors Note:

Heeeyyy everyoneee, sooo this is the first time I've posted in a loooongggg time so I hope you guys liked it. If you did please like comment reblog the whole thing! Thanksss <3

[theflagscene]

15 Day BL Challenge (part 4)

59. What's a hill you're willing to die on when it comes to BL?

Omg, yes, someone asked me!!!!!

I will die on this hill, fite me.

*ahem*

Cupid’s Last Wish is a good series!

I know there is a shit ton of hate for this series and I have absolutely no idea why. It is a masterclass in physical acting, seriously, it is phenomenal! The story is very basic, because the focus of the series is the character’s journey and self discovery. Korn and Win already knows they’re in love, the story begins with them already knowing that they love one another, they just haven’t acted on those feelings nor have they admitted their feelings to one another. But never once does the narrative act like we the viewers are supposed to wonder if they love one another, that’s not the point of the plot. It’s how miscommunication and grief can blind someone so much that they lose themselves within those feelings.

In the case of the series, Win literally loses himself thanks to his anger. He nearly kills his body and damns his sister’s soul, so he must go on a pilgrimage with Korn to heal his own soul whilst his body is wavering between life and death which could very well take his sister’s soul with it. Korn, his best friend of 22 years and soulmate is the only person who can see him whilst trapped in his sister Lin’s body, because Korn always sees Win for who he really is. And of course we have the conniving mother, a well meaning family friend and a mysterious monk.

This is some of Mix’s best acting, not just as Win since Mix doesn’t usually play such a toxic character. But because for most of the runtime he is playing a male character trapped inside a female’s body, trying to trick everyone expect for three people that he is in fact a woman. Jan is fantastic in the role as well, because when she’s onscreen she must act as if she is a male stuck in an woman’s body with a male’s mind, trying to convince people she’s a woman.

It’s a complete mind fuck! Mix and Jan are fantastic as Win, the way they carry themselves, walk the same, stand the same, take up the same space, speak the same way. But don’t think Earth has it easy in this series either, because he had to make sure he held, touched and spoke to Mix and Jan exactly the same way. So when they edited the scenes to overlap, seeing Jan’s body instead of Mix’s, Earth is in the exact same position with both of them.

Seriously, if you dropped this series, try it again. Watch it just for the acting, because it’s phenomenal.

Also it has what might be the best onscreen reaction to menstruation from a male’s point of view without it being misogynistic, gross or rude. They make some jokes, like Korn not knowing what kind of pads to get for Win when he starts his period, and of course how Win feels having to care for and clean his sister’s body in a respectful manner. How he experiences her emotions, her hormonal shift, the pain of cramps, the way his whole body aches and how sick he feels. Korn is also so caring, trying to help Win through something he’d never experienced before without crossing a line with Lin’s body because whilst it’s Win, his best friend and love of his life, and when he looks at Lin he sees Win in his mind, it is still Lin’s body physically there. And as much as he loved Win, wanted Win, Lin was a baby sister to him and he could not, would not, touch Lin’s body in a sexual manner.

At the end of the series when he admits to Win and Lin’s mother that ‘something happened’ between him and Lin (it was Win, but in Lin’s body) all he meant was that Win had kissed him. Yes, he had kissed Win, shared a bed with Win, but he knew how that looked to people who didn’t know it was Win in Lin’s body. So to keep Lin from being shamed he agreed to marry her, instead of trying to explain to their mother that the assumption she was making about Korn taking Lin’s virginity was wrong.

There are fantastic villain characters in the form of the scheming aunt and uncle. Not to mention the family secret, Win and Lin’s mother facing her homophobia concerning her son, Lin being in love with someone else and of course Korn being forced into a mess that he did not want to be a part of but considering he had been friends with Win for 22 years and loved him more than life, how could he say no?

It’s a beautiful story, it’s funny, well acted and has Mix working with animals!

[alphajocklover]

hey there. My name is Derek. Im your average, slightly overweight gay guy from Chicago. I work as a pretty decent graphic designer downtown. And honestly, my life has gotten boring. I’ve been with the same guy for far too long. And I sometimes wish I could be one of those loud, obnoxious straight dudes you see at bars. You know the ones I’m talking about. Total jerks who make rude and crude comments to women. Muscles so big. Obnoxious loud clothing. Yeah. Is it weird that I want to be the most hated straight douchebag in the world? Haha it’d be so different

Hey Derek! I’m glad you reached out. You’re asking a question a lot of gay men have asked throughout history: Is it weird that you want to be a straight, buff, misogynist douchebag? Are you a freak because a part of you wants to be the kind of guy you’ve always hated? You’ve always believed in being proud of your sexuality, in treating everyone, especially women, with respect, in common decency, equality, and respect. Usually you’d find those straight, cocky jerks as obnoxious as anyone else. But just like a lot of men (and sometimes women), both in and outside of the LGBTQ community, there are times where, even though you know you shouldn’t, you wish you were one of those guys. It’s hard to say why people get this strange desire. It could be that you’re jealous of their bodies, how they’re so muscular, beefy, and powerful. It could be that you admire their confidence, the way they cockily smirk like they rule the world. It could be that you long to be like them because, despite their flaws, they’re the manly men that society has always told men we should all be.

Or it could be that you know, deep down, that they’re what you were meant to be. That they’re what you could have been, should have been, and would have been… if you hadn’t been turned gay.

Before we continue I wanna make a few things clear. Being gay isn’t a choice, you can’t cure gayness with dumbass abusive therapy, gay people do not turn other people gay, and homosexuality is a perfectly natural thing that some people just are. But… not all people. There are some people in this world, like you Derek, who have been turned gay. You were supposed to be straight. In fact you were supposed to be a straight, beefy, misogynistic, douchebag. But someone changed you, derailed your fate so that you’d be different. They saw you, didn’t approve, and so they went back in time and changed you. It’s not just you either. There are thousands of supposedly gay men who are really straight douchebags who got turned.

The group of people responsible for these changes are mysterious and covered in shadow. Those who know of them call them the SAD, the Society Against Douchebags. Not much is known about them, just that they come from the far future and use a strange machine to go back in time and change the lives of certain straight douchebags through manipulation and futuristic technology. The reason you were always so unathletic and heavy? You had nano machines working against you, keeping on the weight and taking down your endurance. The reason you could never seem to say the right thing and always embarrassed yourself around cool guys? They’d use those same machines to make you feel awkward and uncomfortable so you’d say the wrong thing. The reason you’re gay? They altered your brain chemistry.

But I know someone who can help you turn back.

A group like the SAD, one that so recklessly changes the timeline, doesn’t go unnoticed forever. Eventually another group formed, one that fought back against them. They call themselves the Douchebag Revolution. They’re exactly what they sound like. Straight, buff douchebags who either didn’t get targeted for one reason or another or were saved from their false lives and wanna take down the people who tried to destroy them. They go around, liberating guys like your from their fake fag lives, fighting the SAD and living that douchebag lifestyle.

Personally I try to keep out of their whole time war thing. I don't think what the SAD does is good, but time travel is so fucking complicated I’d like to avoid anyone who uses it all together. Plus the Douchebag Revolution is pretty homophobic, so they wouldn’t accept an actual gay guy like me in their ranks. But I do have a few contacts in the Douchebag Revolution who tolerate me. I could get you in touch. They have a way to reverse what the SAD did to you. A serum. It’ll make you exactly what you always should have been: a straight, beefy, asshole. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to take it. You can stay this way, always wondering who you would have been. But I don’t think that’s what you want. I can see it in your eyes. You know what you are.

You’re a douchebag. Welcome to the Revolution.

Don’t worry about your boyfriend. Either he’s an agent of the SAD or he’s a fellow turned Douchebag. Either way your new friends will help you take care of it.

**another G2S story. I know they’re controversial but they’re so much fun. Definitely going to revisit the douchebag Revolution idea sometime.**

[freddie-221b]

I don’t think people realise what an important character Kilgrave is. And before people start on me for being a Kilgrave sympathiser, I THINK HE’S VILE. I can’t even find David attractive in that role, he genuinely makes my skin crawl. But he’s so important.

Kilgrave represents MEN. Now I know, “not all men,” but there’s enough of them and I can’t think of another way to phrase it. He’s all of the worst parts of misogynist men in one person.

Let’s start with little things:

- He tells Jessica to ‘smile’ for him, classic objectification of women. Men tell women to smile because apparently women can’t be attractive unless they’re happy.

- When he buys clothes for Jessica, he buys clothes that he wants to see her in, regardless of how uncomfortable it might make her feel to wear (remember the purple dress she ripped up?). He knows she doesn’t like those kinds of things but HE does so he doesn’t care.

The whole show serves as a testament to the way men and women are at odds to eachother in society.

Jessica is a super powered woman who is stronger physically than Kilgrave could ever dream of being (and arguably emotionally as well.) Yet he still takes advantage of her.

That’s where the nature of his ability comes into play.

The fact that he is a mind controller is something that I don’t see people talk about enough.

His being mind controller is a subtle way of representing manipulation. Jessica did what he wanted her to because he told her to and she didn’t have a choice. This is SO symbolic of women in relationships where they feel it’s safer and less hassle to do what their partners tell them to — otherwise known as abusive relationships, whether physical or not. And there’s also his justification of why he does the things he does. “I’m doing this because I love you.”

Ew.

I could go on and on and on about his importance as a symbolic character and the need for his character in the MCU. I hate him but in a world where some of the most powerful people on earth are women and they’ve saved the planet an innumerable amount of times, it’s important to remember that misogyny does exist in that world. Kilgrave is that reminder.

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

In Defense of Shinji/Rei

Out of all the pairings in the Evangelion fandom, Shinji/Rei is one of the most controversial and least popular, especially here on tumblr. It did have some popularity at one point but that has died down in favor of Kawoshin and Asurei. It’s a ship that I, and many others, feel is often mischaracterized and dismissed due to its more controversial elements but one that is honestly very emotional and deserves less hate in my opinion, as do it’s shippers who people also have a misguided view of. Fandom in general has become more moralistic and puritanical in recent years. It’s like no one learned a thing from the SU fandom discourse where people were bullied or called homophobic for liking a certain pairing over the other.

Argument 1: she’s his mother/sister

The most common criticism of the pairing is that it’s incest and that their relationship is that of a brother-sister or mother-son. First, Rei’s whole arc in the show is that she’s not just a clone or copy of Yui or Lilith. She’s her own person with her own desires which is why her loyalty to Gendo wanes as she becomes more of an individual. Her DNA also isn’t that similar to Shinji and only a small amount of Yui’s was used. The rest was affected by Lilith hence the differences in their appearance. So there is a little bit of blood relation but it’s not on the same level of say Bwen or Pinecest. Incest is terrible because it’s a betrayal of family trust and abuse but Shinji and Rei met as teens and were not raised as siblings, nor did he know of her origin until Ritsuko explained it.

I’ve also seen the argument that their bond is sibling-like or Shinji views her as a Madonna/mother figure. Anno has stated that he intended there to be a “love triangle” with the pilot trio and show’s proposal described Rei as having “learned about feelings when she fell in love”. While that info comes from Reddit and may not be reliable, it does challenge the idea that there was no intention for their dynamic to be romantic.

Next, antis really take that elevator scene out of context where Shinji was complimenting her on being like a mom while ignoring him telling her she’d make a good housewife. The rebuilds and manga make their connection more blatant but it was always there. Misato, Toji and Kensuke all tease Shinji about his crush and the two act as friends after warming up despite their icy first interactions. There may be some maternal aspects to it but it’s rather simplistic to dumb their bond down to a family connection. It seems antis argue that they’re siblings because the romantic implications are uncomfortable and antis don’t want to admit that they do have feelings for each other.

Argument 2: it’s misogynistic and queer erasure

Okay, this is a less common argument against it but one I’ve seen from popular Eva analysis writers that view Kawoshin as the only valid pairing for Shinji. I’ve seen it used against Asushin and Marishin too. This goes hand and hand with the idea that Shinji views Rei as a Madonna and is misogynistic. I have a lot of thoughts about the “Shinji is an incel misogynist and Asuka did nothing wrong” discourse but that’s for another day. He’s not a perfect uwu soft boy but fans seem to base his entire characterization off the hospital scene in rather single issue Eva analyses that cherry-pick certain scenes or dialogue.

The argument that it’s queer erasure is one I’m starting to despise. Yes, there are homophobic dudebro fans who hate Kawoshin but not everyone who prefers a “straight�� pairing is anti gay. Shinji could still be bisexual and be in a m/f relationship. I’ve also seen some ship him in a polycule with Rei and Kaworu. Plus, not everyone has to interpret the show or character the same way. The writers made it so people can view Kawoshin as romantic and Shinji as queer, but never demanded that be the only possible interpretation.

This kind reminds me of something I’ve occasionally seen in the Ben 10 fandom too. A few fans, not all of them, treating the wholesome gay ship as the only good pairing because of the problematic elements in the m/f ships or because they view the male protagonist as a misogynist. The “male character is sexist or a bad boyfriend so let’s make him gay” is also a fandom trope that kind of irritates me. Not every ship has be gay or a girlboss romance either.

Argument 3: they’re kids and you can’t ship them

This is one of the least common criticisms but one that I’ve occasionally encountered. First, they’re 14 which is around the time a lot of teens start dating. Second, romance =/= sex and child/teen characters can have romantic feelings for each other. Yes, ship wars over fictional kids can escalate but there’s nothing wrong with just liking a pairing. This post about Chihiro and Haku’s bond from Spirited Away kind of applies here too.

My thoughts: why do I love this pairing?

I first fell in love with this ship because I watched the rebuilds first on Amazon Prime and didn’t know the series was on Netflix because my account, embarrassingly, still has parental controls on it. I know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea but I liked them. Shinji was a character I really connected to and so was Rei. Their relationship got me a bit emotional and the scene where Shinji attempts to save her had me on the edge of my seat, while the scene where Shinji accepts Rei Q got a tear out of me as did the apology scene in 3.0+1.0.

If I had to compare them to any other pairing, which I’ve done before, it would be Hodaka/Hina from Weathering with You which also is a bit divisive and a bit of a tearjerker. Ironically, EoE is one of Makoto Shinkai’s favorites and he considers Anno an inspiration. Everything from their bond to Hodaka’s character and Hina’s arc of a blue haired girl, blackish-blue in Hina’s case, that’s lived a difficult life and who’s only purpose is to be a sacrificial lamb, learning to pray for herself is a lot like Shinji/Rei, down the ending of WWY being a lot like that of 2.22. The scene where Hodaka gives Hina a promise ring is also a little like the “smile” moment from Episode 6/1.11.

Conclusion

In short, Shinji/Rei isn’t a bad pairing and is overhated and misrepresented by many in the fandom. It’s fine to dislike it or prefer another ship but one can do so without chomping at the bit to paint its shippers as homophobes, misogynists or people with incest fetishes or Oedipal complexes. Many of us like it because it’s one of the least toxic relationships in the series and is honestly a very powerful story. Are there some questionable elements in it? Sure, but you can like a ship even if it’s not up to golden moral standards and expecting every pairing to be unproblematic is ridiculous. Real life is much more grey than what moralistic fans claim.

[melliehart]

wip wednesday

shoutout @marviless for tagging me (and torturing me with her mcd fic ow), going to tag @littlefreakbuckley and @sonofatoasterwaffle if they have anything they want to share:) i am trying something new and writing a set of interactions between eddie and buck's significant others over the years. this is ali's

Death & Co, Arts District, 2019

Eddie is like, totally gorgeous, don't get her wrong, but he's not her type. He's closed off, always put together, and that one time she tried to break the ice by making a joke that he’s actually the one who saved her during the earthquake, Eddie barely cracked a smile. It did, fortunately, get Buck to cackle and loudly protest, but Eddie’s expression only ever turned genuine when Buck knocked his shoulder against Eddie’s and said, “Shoulda dropped her!” with a wink. He'd thrown his arm around Ali, after, and damn does Buck have some great arms. It’s amazing, getting to be with a guy who makes her feel small. Like, she can wear heels around him. And don’t even get her started on what else he can do with all that strength.

Anyway, they’re out at this cocktail bar that Ali picked out–she’s been loving a dirty martini lately–and it’s a good time. She and Buck aren’t particularly serious, but they could be, if they give it a while. They mostly spend time at her apartment when she’s in the city, but she’s broached the subject of getting him a place downtown, (anything would be more mature than living with his older sister), and she might be able to convince him to swap out the Jeep for something classier next.

The guy’s a little raw, but he definitely has potential. Room to grow.

They’d invited Eddie, although when Ali had suggested it to Buck she’d sort of been expecting it would be a double date, but Buck brushed that off. She knows something wild was going on between Eddie and his wife (ex-wife?) but Buck was shockingly tight-lipped about it, wouldn’t tell her any details. Like, she’s just curious! Can’t a girl want to gossip with her boyfriend? Whatever. He did say they were back together for real now, which is why she’d been expecting the wife to come, but it’s fine.

Like she said, Eddie’s always perfectly polite, and they’ve had a good time together the few times they’ve all gone out. The three of them even made a pretty good team during the earthquake, if she does say so herself, even if she stopped to chug a few mini liquor bottles on the way down. She’d challenge anyone to watch their misogynistic pig of a boss fall to his for real, actual death and not want a drink.

She’s two drinks in when Buck leaves them to go get another round–thanks, babe–leaving just her and Eddie at the table. Eddie takes a long pull of his beer, draining it before setting the empty bottle on the table with a clink. He’s not looking at her, his dark eyes focused on the wall behind them as he starts picking at the label. The silence is just this side of unsettling, and Ali’s never really been great at being quiet, so she decides to do the safe thing and ask about his son–Christian?

“Christopher”, he corrects, pulling out his phone. “I’ll show you a picture.” She’s not huge into kids herself–maybe in a few years, when she makes director and can afford to settle down a bit–but that’s not the kind of thing you say to a not-single dad. He swipes for a moment, then shows Ali a photo of not just his son but the three of them, Christopher, Eddie and Buck, in front of the fountain at the mall. They look–honestly, they look like a family, framed like this. There’s something heavy about the way he’s watching her, judging her reaction. She smiles at him brightly, cooing a little because that’s what you do at a cute photo, and he tilts the phone back. 

She’s not really sure what he’s getting out of this interaction–is he trying to scare her off? Stake a claim? Or is he just–like that? His face is unreadable as always, unlike Buck who is, thank god, sliding back into the booth. He gently places her martini–Hendrick’s, two blue cheese olives, extra dry and porn star dirty–in front of her, smacking a kiss to her cheek before roughly sliding a beer across the table. Eddie snags it without blinking, tipping it towards the two of them–Buck, really–in thanks. 

Now that Buck’s back, the tension in the atmosphere has dissipated; Eddie perked right back up the second Buck's attention landed on him. She doubts Buck even noticed the switch-up, and she's sure as hell not gonna piss Eddie off by calling it out.

They slide back into joking around, but Ali can’t quite take her mind off of it. She absolutely needs to get the ex-wife (wife?) here next time to figure out what to make of these two.

[maxdibert]

Lily’s not selfless because she didn’t want her baby to die. Anyone who isn’t a psychopath doesn’t want their baby to die! Defenceless Petunia also throws herself in front of a wand for her baby! Narcissa lies to Voldemort’s face and goes behind his back to Snape for her baby! Both of these women are selfish creatures! By book 6, JKR has firmly made the point that Lily’s actions were admirable but unexceptional in this universe. Joining the Order out of school is arguably her most selfless act (yeah, she’s personally affected, but she could’ve run to Australia).

Lily’s attraction to James is pure ego. She’s flattered the hot rich elite publicly validates her by desiring her. An actually selfless person would think of James’ victims (and I’m not just talking Severus here). Her condescension to Severus is ego (she enjoys having a worshipful puppy who won’t call her out on anything until he finally snaps and bites back - neither of them see each other as a person). We know a lot more about her than ‘she was selfless’ through her relationships, and not all we know is flattering. Which is good! Because the angelic figure the fandom makes her into - when JKR gave us more than that even in the little page time she has - is so fucking boring.

Absolutely, I couldn’t agree more. What I find especially interesting is how so many Lily fans insist that pointing out her flaws is misogynistic, when in reality, they’re the ones preventing her from being a fully realized, three-dimensional character. By reducing her to nothing more than a morally flawless young woman and a sacrificial mother, they’re stripping her of the very things that make characters compelling—nuance, contradictions, and the ability to make mistakes.

It’s ironic because these same people will often argue that female characters should be treated with the same depth and complexity as male characters. But if we’re unwilling to analyze and critique female characters the way we do male ones, then we’re falling into the same trap we claim to oppose. What’s the point of demanding better female representation if we’re just going to infantilize female characters and refuse to engage with them critically? If we want true narrative equality, we have to be comfortable with the idea that women in fiction—just like in real life—can be selfish, can make questionable choices, and can sometimes just be plain unlikable. And that’s not a bad thing. That’s a good thing.

Lily is an interesting character because she isn’t just a saintly martyr. She clearly had an ego, she was flattered by James’s attention, she tolerated Severus’s bigotry for far too long, and when she finally did cut him off, it wasn’t out of some grand moral reckoning but because it affected her personally. That’s not a bad thing—it makes her human. And as you said, her sacrifice, while undeniably tragic and moving, is not some uniquely selfless act in this universe. Plenty of characters put their children before their own survival, and many of them—Petunia and Narcissa included—don’t get the same moral pedestal that Lily does. The difference? Lily is framed by the narrative as an untouchable paragon of goodness, and fans have followed that lead uncritically.

The reality is, if we actually want better-written female characters, we need to stop being afraid of giving them flaws. Otherwise, we’re just trading one kind of misogyny (women as lesser) for another (women as perfect). And neither of those is real progress.

[gacha-incels]

do you have a post debunking the tsunul video about projmoon? i claimed projmoon is misogynistic and people keep linking the video 🙄 iirc you debunked it before but u know how the tumblr search function is

yeah sorry I was in the hospital for a bit unexpectedly and I’m just trying to recover from this stupid fucking illness flare up thats kicking my ass 😭✌️so I haven’t posted in a while and I’ll probably remain offline for a bit after this check in. I don’t do this like tit for tat debunking where I watch these “fandom” videos, so personally I think the best way is for you to be presented with the straight facts of what happened, then what’s going on with South Korean society, how this all affects one another , etc, and with this knowledge you can then formulate your own arguments because you’ll actually understand what you’re saying.instead of just repeating it. Like you get what I mean? I think this works pretty well… When someone sends u a video as a response, you never really know if they understand what they’re sending or if they just see it as an “I win” or a “now I can keep playing my gacha guilt free” button lol. uh my basic post regarding PM fans making these videos or linking to them, I wrote it here

Reply from when he for some reason mentioned my blog and misrepresented it (unfortunately and weirdly would not be the first time for some reason, I did not know this person existed before people told me about him here? lol)

Twitter user citrussalt’s replies to him & her translation of the IT Union chairman’s tweets regarding the real meaning of unfair dismissal. This I believe is one of the most important aspects to the case, and one that, if you’re simply looking at this situation to exonerate PM, you will completely blind yourself to the country’s systemic misogyny and how it relates to the case so that you can simply say “it was ruled that this was not an unfair dismissal”

I posted something similar here

and responded to the overblown claims regarding the kgcs here

Post with some of the earliest article links of the event in korean

PM pressing criminal charges against various unions/labor activists have been dismissed. they never pressed any against the incels that accosted them I guess! lol

Mimi (Wonderlab) taking her webcomic down and no longer wishing to be associated with project moon. She has faced mass harassment by both western and eastern fans, and has said she has more grievances with PM she has not mentioned.

Monggeu reveals PM told her to not make her work (Leviathan) “Too PC”

Project Moon references DCinside jokes

Continued with Ilbe jokes

monggeu (Leviathan) extremely poor treatment working at Project moon

if you’re talking to someone who only understands this style of arguing I mean one of their VAs had misogynistic social media posts but he was not subject to scrutiny and firing like vellmori was for hers

Newer: SK limbus fans ideologically verify, stalk, and bring one girl to a suicide attempt because they only want “pure” fans returning to the game, not anyone who questioned PM or KJH’s leadership

I think those are all the basics, I hope it can be helpful, if you are looking for any other post in particular lmk!