#I could die right here right now sometimes this show is actually very good

[pumpkinrootbeer]

Listen. I understand people only care about the ian/mickey when it comes to shameless, I respect that. But the fact that I haven't seen a single person talk about the scene in season 6 where a forlorn lip looks longing at gustav klimt's "the kiss". i have to go kill myself now

[moonstruckme]

Are you going to continue the roomate James series? I’m actually in love with it😍

Yes! Thank you for reading <3

part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13

roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 804 words

“Honey, I’m home!” 

A smile tugs at your lips, even as you roll your eyes to yourself. James has become more and more fond of these pet names, and of announcing his comings and goings like he’s worried you’ll miss him. (He’s never gone long enough for that, though you might actually miss him if he were.) If you don’t respond in some way or another, he’ll—

“Hey.” He pokes his head through your cracked door. “You alive in here?” 

You pause in folding your laundry to give him a deadpan look. “I could have been in my underwear.” 

He looks mildly horrified. “I’d hope if you were, you’d close the door all the way.” 

“You know, I did manage to stay alive even before you moved in.” 

James leans on your doorframe, giving you the sort of lazy grin you have to pretend doesn’t scare butterflies into flight in your stomach. You really hope that wears off soon. “See, but now I’m convinced if I don’t check on you, you really will die and it’ll be my fault.” 

“How would it be your fault?” 

“Classic case of roommate neglect. I smell the rotting coming from inside your room, the police come, they ask How did you not know your roommate was dead for a month? I reply, Well, officer, she said she could be galavanting in her underwear at any moment. They put me in handcuffs and I spend the next five to fifteen years having Sirius bring me cigarettes I don’t want so that I can trade them for ramen noodles in the yard.” 

You scoff, fighting a smile. “As if you would ever eat ramen.” 

“That’s what I’m saying, sweetheart. You’d be forcing me upon desperate times. But hey,” he raises his hands in a show of surrender, “I didn’t come in here to discuss prison currency. Would it be alright with you if I had friends over tonight?” 

“Of course,” you say, looking back down to match a pair of socks. “You don’t need to ask every time, it’s always alright.” 

“Thanks,” he says warmly, “but it makes me feel better to ask. What do you want on your pizza?” 

You blink. “Me?” 

“Yes, you.” He smiles. Butterflies all over again. “You don’t have to hang out with us to eat it—though we’d love to have you—but I’m not just going to order pizza to your own apartment without having any for you.” 

“It’s your apartment, too,” you remind him. “That’d be a very normal thing to do.” 

“Irregardless.” James waves you off. You wrinkle your nose at the word choice. “What do you want?” 

You swallow a sigh. There are some things, you’ve found, James is nearly impossible to argue with about. If you really dig your heels in, sometimes you can make him move first, but you don’t feel like it right now. 

You do the next best thing you can think of: choosing the least obtrusive option. “Cheese is good with me, thanks.” 

His eyes narrow like he knows what you’re doing, but he says, “Got it. I’ll let you know when it’s here.” 

“Thanks.” You turn your attention back to your laundry. James lingers in the doorway. 

A month ago, you would have kept ignoring him, working on the (unfounded) hope that he’d go away. Now, you look up. 

“Do you think you might come downstairs and hang out?” he asks. He has a strange look on his face, one you can’t quite decipher. “You know you’re always invited.” 

You give James a terse sort of smile. He’s not stopped inviting you to do things since the day he moved in. Your open invitation has been made very clear, and you’ve been accepting it more often lately. James is someone who makes it easy to feel close to him. He tosses pet names at you like they’re nothing, comes to check on you when he gets home, pretends he needs to go grocery shopping just because you need a ride to the store. Last week, you’d sat down to watch a movie with him and woken up to a black screen, your cheek smushed into his shoulder and his head resting atop yours. 

Somehow, you’ve let him spill into your life without meaning to, and now you have these childish, crush-like reactions whenever he smiles a certain way or calls you pet names with that familiar bent to his voice. You know you just need time to sort these feelings out. It’d probably be ideal to keep yourself from spilling into his life as much as possible in the meantime. 

But it’s hard to deny James anything when he’s so sweet to you. And he’s nice. His friends seem nice. 

“I might,” you say. 

“I’ll take the win,” James replies, smiling. These butterflies are seriously inconvenient.

[solarmorrigan]

Steve Harrington is absolutely the sort of person to become emotionally dependent on a pet. He grew up lonely and he loves taking care of things, and here's this creature that loves him unconditionally and is dependent on him for care? He's a goner

He finds a kitten in his backyard, wet and cold and alone, but in pretty good shape, all things considered. It hisses and swipes at him, but it's also mewing pathetically, and Steve can't just leave it, so he manages to get the thing inside with minimal blood loss (all his) and cleans it up and feeds it. It's a lot more amenable to the idea of Steve once it's warm and dry and full, and by the end of the day, it's curled up and purring in the crook of his neck, and Steve is already prepared to die for this thing

He does recognize that the right thing to do is to ask around and see if anyone is missing a kitten, which he does do, but no one on his street or the next one over lays claim to it, and there aren’t any kind of wanted posters going up for it, so Steve decides he is now the proud owner of a cat

He names her Baby and dotes on her accordingly. (In his defense, the name is Robin's idea; she tells him that he treats the cat enough like a baby, so the name might as well fit. Steve's always been shit at coming up with names, so he just goes with it)

Baby is the world's most spoiled cat, which Steve readily admits. But isn't that what cats are for? She's a wonderful cat and she clearly deserves nice things and Steve is going to get them for her. Toys, treats, a plush cat bed, the best food, whatever he thinks she could possibly need or want. If "I work hard so my cat can live a better life" t-shirts had existed in the 80s, Robin probably would have gotten one for him and he probably would have worn it

Of course, it helps that Baby actually does adore Steve. With everyone else, she ranges from frosty to outright hostile (she's taken a particular dislike to Eddie, of all people, which is unfortunate, because Steve really, really likes Eddie); she'll consent to be admired, and she'll accept treats, and she might even let more familiar people pet her, but in the end she is very much Steve's baby. If he's home, she's stuck to his side like a burr, curled up wherever he is and purring away, content just to be with him. She still snuggles up in the crook of his shoulder at night, just like when she was a kitten, even though she's bigger now and is a bit less easily accommodated

It goes without saying that Baby is strictly an indoor cat. Steve lives right up against the woods and there are predators out there, and people in town drive like assholes, and Steve won't take the chance of her being eaten or run over or meeting some other horrible fate. He really doesn't think his heart could take it

But of course, because all cats are terrible bastards at heart (affectionate), Baby darts out the back door one day as Steve is coming in off the patio, chasing after some other small animal that Steve can't even see, and she's out of the backyard and up towards the trees before Steve can do much more than make a grab for her

And Steve, who has survived interrogations and monster attacks and many situations objectively much more stressful than this, does not panic. He does spend half the night wandering around in the trees with a flashlight, shaking a bag of cat food and calling for Baby, but that's not panicking, that's problem solving

He eventually gets too cold and too tired to keep going and has to pack it in for the night. He holds onto some shred of hope that she'll be waiting by the back door when he wakes up, wondering why the hell it's taken so long for him to come let her in, but apparently that's not the way life works, because the patio and all areas around the house are still distinctly catless come daybreak

Eddie shows up sometime mid-morning, just as Steve is preparing to head back out and look for her. He has genuinely never seen Steve so upset; he looks like he might actually cry if he doesn't find that damn cat, which just isn't something that Steve does. But he's actually fucking distraught, and Eddie simply can't have that, even if Baby is his nemesis, so he goes to the phone and makes some calls

He cashes in on favors, he makes promises, he actually agrees to pay Mike ten bucks to show up, but he gets the kids, all the older teens (the only reason Robin hadn't been there already is because Steve hadn't paused long enough to tell her what was going on), and even the Corroded Coffin boys up to Steve's house to comb the woods for Steve's damn cat

It's Eddie who finds her in the end, a shock of pale, mewling fur actually stuck in a fucking tree. The cliche nearly kills him – either that or trying to climb down a tree one-handed while holding a cat. He's surprised she actually lets him pick her up, but then again, she's been out here all night, she's cold, and at least she recognizes Eddie. Maybe this is the beginning of a truce

Or, she might go back to hissing and swiping at Eddie any time she the mood takes her, but Eddie doesn't even care, because Steve is elated to have Baby back, so fucking happy that he doesn't even seem to notice that she's digging her claws into his arm as she clings to him for dear life all the way back to the house. Eddie will deal with anything that Steve loves that much

Steve pays for pizza to thank everyone for putting their Saturday on hold to search-and-rescue a cat, and everyone warms up and eats their fill before slowly filtering back out of the house. And later, after Baby's been cleaned up and fed and properly doted on and is purring away curled up over a heating vent in the living room, Steve takes Eddie upstairs to show his thanks in a much more thorough manner

After all – Baby is very important to him, and he's more relieved than he can say to have her back, but she isn't the only thing that Steve adores

[coloursflyaway]

Good Enough

Pairing: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.000

Read on AO3

So, Edwin is in love with him.

Edwin loves him, and Charles genuinely never even considered the possibility of this, of them, before.

It might be because, back when he was still alive, his dad would have beaten the notion right out of him, but then again, his dad has been wrong about most things in his life, so fuck him.

So, Edwin is in love with him.

It’s… quite flattering, actually. To think that Edwin, who is beautiful and intelligent and educated, who can recite his favourite Keats poem by heart just as easily as tell you his favourite Mozart aria (it’s Konstanze, dich wiederzusehen from Die Entführung aus dem Serail, Edwin told him that, years ago), who knows spells and can read ancient Aramaic, who is the kindest, most brilliant person Charles has ever known, would love him.

Now, Charles knows that he is easy enough on the eyes, good with words and people, and has one hell of a swing if you give him a cricket bat, but the only reason he knows any Mozart aria is because Edwin showed them to him.

The only reason he knows Keats’ poetry is because Edwin would read them to him on slow, warm summer nights in the early 2000s.

The only reason he is here, is because Edwin let him stay.

So, it’s special, having someone like Edwin love him.

It’s fucking terrifying.

Because Charles is now holding the heart of the person he loves most in the world, and it’s a bigger responsibility than any he has ever taken on before.

He can’t fuck this up.

The thing is that nothing changes between them at all.

Charles isn’t sure if he expected it to, but what he is relatively certain about is that it most likely should. After all, it was an unexpected revelation, probably to both of them, definitely a shift in their relationship.

And yet, when Charles looks at Edwin, who is reading a novel whose name he cannot make out, curled up on the couch they have gotten for Crystal (and sometimes Jenny), he doesn’t feel different at all.

It’s still Edwin, his best mate, the boy that read to him when he was dying so he wouldn’t have to do it alone, who tries to smile whenever Charles shows him a new song he has fallen in love with, and occasionally fails hilariously at, who Charles would protect with his life and his soul and his cricket bat, no matter how high the stakes.

I love you the most, Charles thinks to himself, and smiles, because nothing about that has changed, either.

He has told Edwin that they would have forever to figure out the rest, and it’s the truth, technically speaking.

However, Charles doesn’t, because it’s Edwin and he has given Charles his heart and he doesn’t deserve to wait that long for an answer. It would be cruel in a way Charles cannot comprehend, and if there is anyone who doesn’t deserve more cruelty in their existence, it’s Edwin Payne.

The only problem with that fact is that Charles doesn’t know the answer.

He’s been thinking about it a lot, but the thing is, he’s never been in love before.

So he doesn’t really know what to compare his feelings for Edwin to, because, of course, they are greater than for anyone else, of course, Charles would sacrifice anything and anyone for Edwin, especially himself, of course, making Edwin smile is his favourite part of any day.

Because he loves Edwin, everything about him.

But is he, could he be, in love with Edwin?

Charles doesn’t know, nor does he know how to find out. It’s not like he hasn’t tried, but every novel he has paged through, every silly romcom he has watched, has been talking about butterflies in someone’s stomach, of seeing them in some new, golden light, of hearing violins playing when they speak, and Charles very much doubts that Edwin feels any of those things for him.

Otherwise he wouldn’t raise his eyebrows like that when he thinks Charles is being an insufferable little prick, he wouldn’t roll his eyes and tell him, “I know, Charles, you have told me a thousand times before”, whenever Charles brings up how much he wishes he could still taste things, or groan whenever Charles attempts to convince him to just try and let him put on some eyeliner.

(It’s just that Edwin would look so pretty like that, some kohl to bring out the warmth of his eyes, making them stand out even more than they do anyway.)

So all this talk of violins and sparkles and the need to give someone roses, if Edwin doesn’t feel that when he says he is love with Charles, then it’s pointless to consider, and anyway, those books and films describe people who have just met, not those who have known each other for twice as long as they were alive.

Maybe if he had just met Edwin, he would be hearing violins, Charles definitely thinks it’s possible.

Especially the violins in Konstanze, dich wiederzusehen.

“I just need some time alone”, Crystal says, putting on her jacket, while already opening the door. “And I am aware that that is a novel concept for the two of you, since you are basically attached at the hip, but for me, an alive human being, it’s really important to occasionally have a second of peace between almost dying and whatever we will have going on next.”

She stops to put on her shoes, almost falling over in the process, and Charles and Edwin share a look, a smile, and Charles thinks, I love you the most.

“Don’t follow me”, Crystal tells them, especially Charles, and it’s kind of cute, actually. “I’m going to get the biggest frappuchino Starbucks is legally allowed to serve me and I will not tolerate any ghostly company while doing that.”

Charles holds up his hands, still grinning, indicating his surrender in a battle he wasn’t aware they were fighting, and Crystal gives him a single nod before she walks out.

“So”, Charles starts, and turns around to face Edwin, who is already looking back, “what do we think this frappuchino she was talking about, is?”

Actually, there is one thing that changes between them after all.

It’s subtle, at least at first, but looking back, Charles isn’t quite sure how he managed to miss it for the few weeks that have passed. Maybe it was the shock of almost being forced to move on to the afterlife, the chaos of getting Crystal and Jenny settled in London, the fact that it seems to increase only slowly, incrementally.

Edwin has never been a physically affectionate person, completely contrary to how Charles is.

If it had been up to him alone, he would have hugged Edwin much more often, would have leant against him when they were looking through a book together, would have held hands to keep them from losing each other when things got hectic. But it wasn’t, and that was fine, so it was occasional touches instead, a hand on Edwin’s upper arm, his back, ruffling his perfect hair when he was doing something kind of dumb, kind of cute.

(That one always made him duck his head and smile, glance up at Charles through his lashes and allow a second to pass before he started fixing his hair again.)

Now, however, it’s… it’s not getting better, because there was nothing wrong with it in the first place, Edwin’s aversion to physical affection, but it is changing now.

It’s less that he initiates it, more than he allows it to happen more frequently. Sitting down next to Charles on the sofa instead of taking the armchair, allowing Charles’ hand to linger on his arm for a moment longer than expected, letting their shoulders brush when walking.

He’s not asking to be touched, not really, but something about it still makes Charles irrationally happy as soon as he catches onto it. Because Edwin deserves all the affection the world can offer, and Charles will always be here to give it to him.

So he reaches out in the morning, when the sun has just started to rise, and puts his hand on the curve of Edwin’s shoulder, right where it meets his neck, and points out that the clouds are turning the most beautiful pink. He throws his legs across Edwin’s lap when they settle down on the sofa at night, a book in Edwin’s hands, the tablet Crystal made him buy in Charles’. He pushes his fingers through Edwin’s hair, not to ruffle it, but just to pretend he can feel its softness against his skin.

It makes Edwin duck his head again, give Charles a little smile when looking up, and Charles thinks, I love you the most.

And thinks, I want to love you the most in every way you will have me.

“Jenny, I have a question”, Charles starts as soon as he has phased through the walls of her new butcher shop. It’s to her credit that she hardly reacts; the first time he had done that, she had thrown a meat cleaver right through his head. “What do you know about love?”

Instead of a knife, Jenny just throws him a weary look, an eyebrow elegantly arched. It makes Charles think of being scolded by the headmistress, a sensation that should be much more unpleasant than it is.

“Nothing”, Jenny answers and brings her cleaver down with a dull thud, separating flesh from bone, before looking up at Charles again. “No one ever knows anything about love and if they try to tell you otherwise, they are lying.”

There is a certain sense of finality in her voice and Charles knows he has been dismissed, no detention this time, but don’t dare to push it.

“Great”, he mutters, more to himself than to Jenny, “that doesn’t help me at all.”

“You should look at this, Charles”, Edwin says and turns the book towards him.

It’s late at night, Crystal having long since gone home and they are sat on the sofa, shoulders touching while they do their research. A new case has come up, and Edwin is trying to learn more about ancient Celtic runes, while Charles is pouring over a map of London’s underground; now, he looks up and at the page Edwin is showing him.

“We could add this to your bat”, Edwin explains, “it’s a rune for physical strength. Supposedly, it doubles whatever force you put into a hit.”

“Edwin, mate, are you trying to tell me I need help with hitting people?”

Charles is grinning, obviously teasing, and Edwin just scoffs, rolls his eyes.

And that is what Charles means; this isn’t birdsong and candle light, this is just how they always have been. This is what makes them them, even.

“Charles, do be serious”, Edwin replies, but there is affection in his voice, there is love. “I am perfectly aware that you can hit things very well, but that doesn’t mean that hitting them even better wouldn’t be an advantage.”

“I know. This is brills”, Charles concedes, and on a whim, nothing more than that, presses a quick kiss to Edwin’s cheek.

For a moment, he almost expects Edwin to admonish him, because this isn’t exactly something that they do, but instead he stares at him, before he ducks his head; Charles isn’t sure how he knows this, but if Edwin could, he would be blushing.

And it does something to Charles’ head, the thought that he would be able to make Edwin blush. It makes him stop dead in his tracks, look at Edwin not like he is seeing him for the first time, but like he could be looking at him for the rest of his existence and not get bored of it.

“Do you wanna do the honours of carving it? Since you were the one who found the thing?”, he asks just to say something, aware that his voice sounds slightly off, and thinks, I love you the most. I love you the most. I love you the most.

“Very well done, Charles”, Edwin tells him and clasps a long-fingered hand on Charles’ shoulder, peering down at the leprechaun he knocked out clean with his bat a few seconds before.

The rune really makes it pack a punch.

“I don’t think this will pose any further problems”, Edwin continues even as he crouches down to examine the passed-out form crumpled on the ground. He prods at it gently.

“It fucking better”, Charles replies, resisting the urge to pull Edwin away from the leprechaun, just in case that touching it might have some kind of magical side effect. “And if not, I’ll punch it right back out. I’ve got an Edwin Payne-improved bat after all, it won’t stand a chance.”

Just for good measure, he twirls the bat around once, twice.

This has always been one of his favourite parts of the job, the simple pleasure of knocking someone out before they get the chance to hurt his friends.

Edwin looks up at him from where he is crouching, and Charles grins at him, metaphorical adrenaline running through his non-existent veins still. He would punch out a bear if Edwin asked it of him.

Before he can say anything else, though, Crystal clears her throat from behind him, sounding decidedly less impressed.

“That’s really cool, yeah. New bat, I get it”, she says, walking around Charles so she, too, can see the unconscious leprechaun. “But you do remember that we actually wanted to talk to him, right?”

They get to talk to the leprechaun in the end, who turns out to be about as obnoxious as expected, but does admit to stealing the heirloom they were looking for for his pot of gold.

He even gives it back, but only after Charles has started twirling his bat again.

“And another satisfied customer”, Charles comments as they return to the agency, flinging his backpack into the corner.

“Client, you mean”, Edwin corrects, but still smiles at him, and pats the space next to him as soon as he sits down on the sofa. Charles flings himself down without a second thought, legs landing somewhere across Edwin’s laps, one of his hands settling on Charles’ ankles.

This is new, at least to some extent, and Charles loves it, the feeling of Edwin’s fingers on him. It feels right, somehow.

I just really love you the most, he thinks.

“Yeah, whatever”, he concedes and looks over at Crystal, who is watching them with something in her eyes that Charles cannot quite place. Not bad, per se, just…. Strange. “Doesn’t sound that good though, does it? And anyway, the most important thing is that they’re satisfied, right? Passed on right to the afterlife, no worries keeping them here any longer.”

“As if it’s only worries that could keep one here”, Edwin replies, his tone as dry as the desert, but making Charles laugh anyway. “We should be the best example for that.”

“You know what I mean!”, he shoots back, “It isn’t like with us, is it? Don’t think that the client was kept back by meeting the love of their life, were they now?”

It spills from his lips like nothing, without Charles thinking about it for a single second.

He’s still laughing, but Edwin’s fingers have stopped where they were gently stroking across the arch of his foot, and then Charles realises it, and for the first time, hears silence.

For the first time since they got back from Hell, they part when Crystal leaves.

The conversation had been stilted after Charles’...slip up? blunder? confession? and although it had been obvious that all three of them had been trying, it had been impossible to get things back on track.

So, Charles leaves with Crystal, telling Edwin he will walk her home, although that is something he has never done before, and Crystal lets him, although he is fairly certain she wouldn’t under normal circumstances.

She doesn’t need anyone protecting her from the city she grew up in after all.

“How do you know you’re in love with someone?”, Charles asks after they have walked in silence for a few minutes. He can’t think of a way to cushion the question, how to make it less awkward to ask, so he doesn’t bother with it at all.

“This is about Edwin?”, she asks, seemingly to clarify, and Charles nods mutely, not looking up at her. “I’m not sure. Especially not when it comes to the two of you. For Edwin, I could have seen from miles away that he was in love with you, even if he hadn’t reacted like he did when we first met. For you… you love him, anyone with eyes could see that, but if you’re in love with him, I think you have to figure that out yourself.”

“Do you know how it feels, though? Being in love?”, he asks, just in case Crystal can at least tell him that.

“I’m not sure”, she answers after a moment, then links their arms together, pulling Charles closer. “I think that’s different for everyone. But I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out what it feels like to you if you let yourself.”

He walks Crystal home, but when she asks if he wants to stay, Charles just shakes his head.

Edwin is back at the agency, and Charles isn’t sure exactly in which state, what he is thinking, and Charles cannot allow that. At least not for long.

What he does, though, is taking a little detour to the park not too far from their building.

It’s the first time he really pays it any mind, even if it’s most likely not the first time he’s been there, but now, Charles lays down on the grass, looking up at the night sky.

London is too bright for him to see many stars, but there’s a few of them; Edwin would surely be able to point out a constellation or two.

And that’s the thing, isn’t it.

Edwin isn’t here, and yet he is with Charles anyway, always, in every moment of his existence.

Sighing, he scrubs a hand down his face. There’s no way around it, it has to be now, and it has to be the right answer, the one he truly means, because Edwin deserves nothing but that.

No false hope, and no heartbreak that might be taken back along the line.

So, he thinks of Edwin, of his elegant hands and the swagger in his walk when he feels confident, of the colour of his hair and of his eyes, of the curves and slopes and sharp cuts of his face.

He loves that face, has seen it with every possible expression painted across of it, and still loves it.

The stars above are dim and partly hidden behind the clouds, so Charles lets his eyes slip shut, and imagines coming home to the agency and taking Edwin’s hands in his.

They would be just a little smaller than his own, his fingers slender and yet so capable, and if he could still feel, Charles is convinced they would feel cool against his skin.

He imagines pulling Edwin close and holding him like he has always wanted to, burying his face against the side of Edwin’s neck and pretending he can breathe in his scent. Having Edwin sneak his arms around Charles’ waist and cling to the back of his jacket, like he doesn’t want to let go again.

In his imagination, it feels a little like the hug they shared after being granted asylum on Earth, but it would be entirely different, because it wouldn’t be out of relief.

Instead, it would be just them, embracing to feel the other close.

And he thinks of pulling back from the hug, seeing Edwin smile and kissing the curve of his lips, nipping at them until he can make Edwin laugh and teasing his mouth open to lick into it.

It would be like kissing Crystal, kind of, only that-

Only that it wouldn’t be like that at all.

He runs back to the agency, as fast as his spectral feet can carry him.

Edwin is sitting right where he left him, almost like he hadn’t moved an inch since Charles walked out of the door, and he hopes to all deities he can think of that it isn’t so; knows, at the same time, that it is.

“Hi”, Charles greets, because he doesn’t know what else to say, and Edwin nods and gives him a smile, brittle and unsure and hopeful, all at once.

“Hello, Charles. Did Crystal get home safe?”, he asks, and it’s so painfully polite it makes Charles cringe.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course she did”, he responds, trying to figure out how to begin saying what he needs Edwin to know, but Edwin beats him to it.

“Did you mean it?”, Edwin asks, breathes out the question like he still has lungs to do so, and it’s in that moment that Charles is more certain of his answer than anything else he has ever thought, because Edwin sounds small, sounds vulnerable and breakable and yet so fucking hopeful, and Charles wants to pick him up and cradle him against his chest and never let go again.

“Yes”, he says, and it’s sunrise and violins and bouquets of roses all at once, it’s a single word that changes the world around them. “Kind of. Let me explain.”

And Edwin nods, sits back with his hands in his lap and all Charles can think about is that those same hands belong holding a book, resting on the top of Charles’ legs, which should be flung carelessly across Edwin’s lap, just because Charles wants to be near him.

“You’re the love of my life, no matter what”, he starts, crouching down in front of Edwin so he can take his hands; they look so lost. “You have been for decades. I love you the most of anything in the world. I will always love you the most. Every time I look at you, it’s just that on repeat in my head. I love you the most.”

He ducks his head, laughing softly, because it sounds silly now that he says it out-loud, but when he looks back up, there are tears brimming in Edwin’s eyes, making them shine even brighter.

His lips are parted and for just a moment, Charles thinks about kissing them.

“And you know, I still can’t say that I am in love with you back, because you don’t deserve a lie, but what I can say, what I can promise you, is that I could fall in love with you. And that I want to. More than anything.”

A single tear rolls down Edwin’s cheek, glistening in the dim light, and Charles looks at him, and thinks, I do. I am. I love you the most.

“Could that be enough?”, he asks, squeezing Edwin’s hands in his. “At least for the start?”

And Edwin nods so frantically that more tears spill over, wetting his face, and Charles can’t help but laugh; how strange to think that making Edwin cry for once is not his biggest fear, but something that fills his heart with joy to the point of bursting.

“Okay. Brills, that’s-”, he replies, and can’t keep himself from smiling so wide it would hurt if he was still alive. “So, um. Can I kiss you? I really want to kiss you right now.”

Again, Edwin nods, and he is smiling, too, looks so happy that Charles thinks heaven must be overrated, because nothing in the whole of existence could compare to this.

He thinks of the scene he pictured in the park of holding Edwin close and how much in pales in comparison to this, to holding Edwin’s hands and watching him glow with love and hope and warmth.

And leans in to find out if the same is true for kissing him.

(It is.)

[heartaces]

𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐔𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟑 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ASTARION EDITION ⟶ part one

“there is a time and place for violence. i mean - this place is perfect. but is it the time?”

“heaven forbid. we’re all entitled to our secrets.”

“sitting by the fire while you do all the hard work sounds marvelous, actually.”

“couldn’t you wait ten minutes before being an absolute freak?”

“you’re welcome to try and kill me, of course. but i don’t die easily these days.”

“ugh, don’t be so nice to me. it makes me want to be nice back.”

“a horrible death is always just around the corner with you.”

“stabbing someone a dozen times can be many things. but ‘the right thing to do’? hm, i doubt it.”

“immortality is only as good as the life you’re living. an eternity of luxury sounds a lot better than an eternity of struggle.”

“what are you doing? this isn’t safe. you can’t trust him.”

“look, i’m a not a details person, all right. but turning up and causing chaos has worked for us so far.”

“they were clearly artists. you can tell because it’s a mess in here.”

“you know, there is a point where bravery becomes stupidity. and walking into that thing would be very, very stupid.”

“i’ve had enough of bad poets singing of my looks - urgh.”

“is the plant bothering you?”

“until then, try not to die.”

“oh yes, i’m fine. i just feel… awful.”

“shut that oversized chicken up.”

“you know, the only way to cure temptation… is to give in to it.”

“next time, just warn me before you do something stupid.”

“there certainly is a strong ambience down here. i don’t know if it’s the bats or the decaying - everything. it’s quite homey.”

“it’s nice to see heroes are as awful as the rest of us.”

“unusually polite for a god.”

“of all the places you dragged me, this might just be the most foul. and that is saying something, given some of the things you exposed me to.”

“i mean, i hate to judge the proverbial book, but that oath may be all cover and no pages.”

“a shapeshifter? it could be anyone. i mean - it’s not me. but it could be anyone else.”

“sometimes we need to think with our heads before our knifes, dear.”

“you could watch for anyone acting strangely, but - well, you know the lunatics we camp with.”

“thank you. for being that evil bastard.”

“can you feel that? the dark, it’s - hungry. best watch the shadows.”

“this place brings back the worst memories.”

“well, that’s disturbing. still, better than having an actual conversation with him though.”

“oh no. not again.”

“honestly, just once, could we end up somewhere normal?”

“i prefer to travel in smaller groups. it’s more… intimate.”

“nice as it is, she still doesn’t have the best hair in the camp.”

“thank goodness. i was worried i’d have to get involved. now, let’s keep our hands to ourselves.”

“i much prefer it when i’m the one prowling in the shadows - about to strike.”

“ah, nothing says ‘true love’ like faking your own death to avoid someone.”

“you’re not going to eviscerate him? i was hoping for a show.”

“it’s just a waste of a perfectly good cult we could be controlling.”

“can you - ugh, can you shut up and let me read?”

“i hate to be negative. but they’ll carve you up like a goose.”

“my, she sounds positively demented. i love it. let’s tell her everything.”

“you villain. i didn’t know you had it in you.”

“a well-presented face can open a lot of doors.”

“hardly a promising introduction.”

“do you mind? i’m brooding.”

“i’d rather be the only dark power inside your body, if it’s all the same to you.”

“easy now, let’s not do anything hilarious.” 

“i’m with you, my dear. wherever this leads.” 

“i appreciate anyone who opens a conversation with bodily harm.” 

“nothing like a little camp drama to spice up the evening.” 

“it’s almost a pity things ended up amicably.”

“what do you see when you look at me?”

“i would’ve liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.”

“do you have any other chaos you need to unleash here?”

“all i want is a little fun. is that so much to ask?” 

“don’t be so sour. i like a good time as much as anyone.” 

“this seems like a lovely little spot. the sense of impending doom aside.”

[meandhisjohn]

News from a crazy mind...

Sherlock, mental health and the support from a fandom.

When Sherlock becomes what the doctor ordered....

100 days lie between those moments.

100 days since I wanted to die.

100 days since I emailed Dignitas.

100 days full of struggle and hope.

100 days later I made it out of hell again.

A handful of people who showed me unconditional love during the hardest setback of my disorder career.

I will love them till the day I die.

And once again the Sherlock world saved my soul before I destroyed it myself.

A fandom full of kindness and support and a detective and a doctor who saved me in more ways than they can ever imagine.

Had a doctors appointment on Friday and I have one hell of a doctor.

Not as good as John Watson but highly supportive of anything that increases my strength.

We talked about a little miracle.

A miracle that sounds so incredibly stupid but it is such a huge thing.

For the past five years I have to take besides my regular medication in mornings and in the evenings a little extra cocktail of meds in the afternoon to keep my extreme nervousness in check.

I'm nervous and tense 24/7 and it takes a toll on my body sometimes.

It makes it very hard to sleep and to find a way to sit still.

So the extra meds are necessary..

Ten days ago I started to listen to Podfics and quickly discovered a new way to enjoy the Sherlock universe.

I'm 43 years old and retired since I was 39 because my body couldn't take the stress anymore.

I have some free times during the day and I made it a habit for the past ten days to listen to Podfics in the afternoon and again at night.

And suddenly I could sleep and, and here comes the miracle..

I forgot to take my afternoon meds.

Even more my body relaxed in a way I haven't experienced in decades.

My body was obviously as surprised as I am because since a few days I have to drink a coffee in the afternoon, otherwise I would fall asleep.

I can only drink coffee without caffeine which tastes awful but otherwise my nervousness goes through the roof and I shake like a leaf.

But now instead of taking an extra dose of anxiety relief pills I take a real good old black coffee full of caffeine after listening to Podfics.

And that sounds incredibly ridiculous but for me it is a miracle because for the first time in over 15 years I feel calm and not because of a chemical reaction but because of a human reaction.

I know @totallysilvergirl had no idea what would happen by telling me about Podfics but I will never forget it!

Back to my incredible doctor who saw the change from a person who was determined to end this endless circle of depression and anxiety to a person who smiles again.

Now he ordered a six months try of daily Podfics ( no joke) to see if my blood levels improves and accordingly my medication can be reduced.

He knows that in the past three years my disorder was always better during my Sherlock highs so he is actually happy about the new development.

Long story short ( too late I know)

Do whatever feels right for you!

Invent your own therapy!

Do what makes you happy no matter how unconventional it might be.

Because you matter!!!!

I attach you my new and exciting Podfic collection for you.

Maybe you will find something you like.

Of course everything is available in Reading form as well.

Be happy in your own, weird, wonderful way.

@keirgreeneyes @discordantwords @a-victorian-girl @bewitched-bullet @lisbeth-kk @whatnext2020 @inevitably-johnlocked @barachiki @babaybo @jobooksncoffee @rey-jake-therapist @missdeliadili @helloliriels @podfixx @johnlocky @johnlockpodficclub @johnlockficclub @peanitbear @strawberrywinter4 @chocolate1elise @kettykika78

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 9

don’t look back. remember? this is all we need.

if we kiss, you’ll be healed.

it’s not real. you just need someone to save.

could you at least wait until i’m gone?

everyone’s scared of something.

words just kind of fall out of my mouth sometimes.

it’s hot, sexy, heroic.

i took the blame to protect you.

this whole time, i’ve been trying to prove myself. prove that i belong. that i’m tough enough, strong enough. 

i care about you so much, but it just doesn’t feel the same as it used to.

by the way, now would be an excellent time to have a reliable therapist.

if even one person sees you, you don’t count as invisible anymore.

i give, like, a huge fuck. i give the biggest fuck.

i know we’re family.

i’m actually dealing with life or death things right now.

do you think i wanna be like this?

i suffer from anxiety and dread.

you have no idea what i’ve given up to protect you.

i will never find a new you.

i’d give you anything, because i love you.

if you’re in that much of a hurry to fucking die, you should just go and do it.

the second we stop looking for answers, that’s when we lose. 

we could’ve died. there’s no way we could’ve survived that.

i don’t wanna find out who i am without you.

we could be anywhere, i mean we could be here, we could be there, we could be anywhere in the world, but it would not matter, because you are my home. and i would really like to be yours.

you’re pretty when you smile.

maybe nothing’s ever gone.

i have to remind myself to breathe sometimes.

who doesn’t want easy? who doesn’t want to just fucking be okay?

i’ve never been more scared before. i’ve also never felt more alive.

being ready and being nervous aren’t mutually exclusive.

i respect you. you don’t take shit from anyone, including me. which is very cool.

i didn’t think you’d be the type to be into sharing your feelings.

when we had sex, it didn’t mean anything. it was a mistake.

a final girl must have a high threshold for pain.

i lost my mind for a couple of days. it just felt good to have a distraction. 

whenever i see some filth, i think of you.

the universe decided to drop a reminder of my greatest failure on my doorstep.

always focusing on someone else’s problem makes it easier to ignore your own.

i always knew that there was a part of you that i could never touch.

the best that i could do was love you and hope that that was enough to keep you here.

i’ve only ever done my best to save lives.

do not talk to me about pain.

it’s broken. i’m broken. and i can’t fix it.

you said we were a family. you lied. 

i’d play the hero ten times over if it meant being here with all of you.

so, as it turns out, my life is wherever you are.

try to concentrate on everything you have waiting for you when you get out of here.

you have someone waiting for you. i do not.

yeah i fucked up, but i did it my way.

it’s real, and i’m fucking terrified.

i’m doing way worse than sending nudes.

i can just radically accept that my mom is a cunt.

i’m like obsessed with being cool and popular. it’s fucking pathetic.

i think shitty things keep happening because i’ve been a self-centered asshole.

she’s mean to me. am i into that?

you’re just jealous because someone actually loves me.

i’ve never been this close to someone i’m not hooking up with. i just have a fucked up sense of intimacy.

you always make loving me seem like the easiest thing in the world.

it’s exhausting to lose a loved one.

she’s really great. she’s so great it scares the shit out of me.

am i being shitty? i don’t wanna be shitty.

being back in that house just reminds me i’ve always felt really, really lonely here.

talking about you ain’t making it about you.

everyone stares at me. i’m famous.

we don’t really have a great relationship just ‘cause of the whole ‘dead’ thing.

i don’t wanna be here anymore. i wanna be where you are.

so you’re mad at me for pushing you to be better?

i wanted to be here with you, ‘cause you’re in my head.

your superpower is that you’re shameless.

it’s not the end of the world. it’s just the beginning.

i know you. you’re already making decisions out of fear.

you said you needed me.

i wanted to do it with you.

so you’re willing to lose me, too?

i uprooted my entire life for you. i put you first because i care about you. i can’t believe you won’t do that for me. you’ll never do that for me.

bullshit, you’re lonely all the fucking time. you’re gonna die that way, too.

i guess all the time i feel kind of trapped because i can’t describe how i’m feeling.

[emry-stars-art]

I didnt mean to rediscover how much I like brainstorming and world building stuff but here we are - this time it’s (mostly) pirate Neil and shark Andrew flavored!

@tell-me-your-vision had some very good tags on the last post like this so of course I started thinking harder about it lol, you all know by now that the best way to get me to draw more is to leave ideas and questions in your tags 😘 it’s very interesting figuring out what parts I want to be drawn directly from the source animal and what I want to have artistic liberty with! Sometimes you just gotta say “it’s this way because I decided it is” and offer no more explanation, not even to yourself.

That being said. If the snippet interested you, find more of the unfinished scene here :D (and if you want to leave a comment… 👀)

I don’t know how clear this image is going to end up being, so here’s the important notes typed up:

Does [Andrew’s] missing fin cause maneuverability problems? Yep. Fins keep the body stable and streamlined in the water. No fin/half detached fins means Andrew spends a lot more energy to be equally as efficient while swimming. (That’s part of why he had more upper body strength than most mers.)

Does jelly Neil feel pain like humans? Not at all. Pain vs nociception - the detection of averse stimulus. So Neil can sense and respond to ‘painful’ stimuli, and he does feel some pain like a person would in his upper half, but it’s mostly just a sensation that he responds to. (This is dangerous. Less pain means he doesn’t realize how dire a situation may be.)

A second eyelid - like a crocodile/etc; a clear secondary eyelid that closes horizontally beneath the primary eyelid, developed to keep the eye safe and clear underwater. Why jelly Neil rarely ‘actually’ blinks

Pirate Neil’s prosthesis. Most of it is always hidden under clothes; it’s made of leather, copper, rubber, and cumaru wood. It was given to him by Stuart as soon as the man found out that Neil had lost his leg, and Stuart had it custom made through his vast connections. At one point in the timeline, Neil angrily takes it off to show a wary and lashing-out sharkDrew that he has also once been on the wrong end of a ‘whaler’s’ knife.

The tiny two panel comic in the bottom right corner: pirate Neil says “stop trying to stab me in the leg” while sharkDrew was fairly certain he just took out this pirate’s kneecap with his sharp rock

The snippet:

“And it was terrified. It’s second eyelids fluttered, it’s eyes were hazy. It held the rough stone ready in case Neil tried to get close again. It still wasn’t breathing right. It was still bleeding.

“Okay,” Neil said softly. He held his own hands out a little to the side. “I’m not going to hurt you more.”

The shark snarled, though it’s mouth never opened.

“I didn’t hurt you in the first place. They’re still finning mers?”

Neil tried to step in, slowly, and was met with another vicious swing. He was ready this time, avoiding the sharp stone neatly.

“Hey, thing. Keep moving like that and you’ll bleed to death.”

Another attempt, and another swing. Neil looked at the place it’s fin had been, now a horrible, gaping wound on its back. He could see the meat beneath the blood. If he didn’t help soon, the shark would go into shock, if not simply die here on the rocks.

“Do you even realize what’s at stake for you?”

[cup1dt3a]

Heeeeeeeeey I saw you write about wally, I was wondering if you could do one of wally the stalker? the reader watched it since he was young then he stopped watching it but still wally chased him, i think he writes right english is not my native language

Tysm for the request! Hope your day is going well or gets better!And don’t worry your English is pretty good mines also bad sometimes T_T

“ Please be a bunny Wally please!” You said crossing your fingers.

“ I think I’ll paint a bunny! What a great idea!” He cheered.

You were watching your favorite show “ Welcome Home”. The best show in your opinion! You’ve loved the show ever since your parents left you alone to put in whatever you wanted while they went somewhere else sometimes watching the show with you or to the kitchen one or the other mostly. You were too busy watching Wally and his friends. Wally was your number one favorite! Along with Julie!

This show was all that you would talk about and sit through for hours on end. Unless you had school or wanted to go outside. You loved the show and vowed to never stop watching it it was sooo amazing! Who would ever not want to watch this it’s too amazing!?

“ Yay! You’re so amazing Wally!” You exclaimed jumping up and down.

Everything was so amazing right now you’ll never stop watching this show youd rather die than stop watching this!

Everything was so horrible! Right now you are regretting so much and so many choices that led you to these horrible migraines!

You stared up at the ceiling not wanting to get out of your bed. Groaned as your alarm clock squawked at you again to get up. It’s not like you had anything to do today so you don’t know why you set an alarm. Must’ve been out of habit. That’s the second time this week when an alarm went off when you just wanted to sleep in. It’s only 10am so you decided to go back to sleep shutting the alarm off. After a few hours you finally woke up without the annoying alarm to disrupt your slumber. It was now 12:30 so you did what anyone would do. Sit in your room all day and watch TV.

That was until you suddenly got a text from your parents. They have been so paranoid since you got your own house. You agreeed either way to come over just to ease their worries and see them. You had lived at least 3 hours away from them so it’s rare you ever really saw them. You stretched out popping your back before going to get dressed.

“ Oh! How’s my baby been?” She exclaimed with opened arms to a tight hug you think she might even be picking you off the ground.

“ Very well actually a little sleep deprived but well.” You said as she rolled her eyes with an “ of course.”

You chuckled at her “ enthusiasm” just happy to see her and your father you had no idea was at the moment. As you asked she just pointed out the window with him tending to his garden. Ever since you had gotten your own house he’s done nothing but treat his garden like his own child. Good for him to have a hobby but you were convinced he literally thought of it as his baby. You literally once saw him having a full on conversation with his damn petunias.

“ So how’s it been? “ you asked her while she replied “ It’s been well just missing my baby.”

You sighed as you both chatted for a while. A few jokes here and there and just catching up. You hadn’t been at the house in two months so it was refreshing to have some familiarity. Your mother then went onto talking about your fathers “favorite child” a.k.a what you called his garden and just remenicing over what you would do as a child.

“ Oh come on _____ you used to just love Welcome home you’d make so many drawings. You even spray painted your hair blue! And made us pain your room the color of what’s his name…Walter? No Wally! Yes Wally’s pants!” She laughed as you frowned in embarrassment.

“ Uh that blue spray paint was such a dumb idea though. Blue really isn’t your color honey. Plus you turned all the bathtubs blue. ” She said looked at a picture of you with blue hair spray paint.

Now starting to remember all the cringey things you did as a dumb kid. Jeez! You were literally obsessed with that show! You wondered how you even forgot it form how much you idolized it. The your mother took a picture you had drawn out it was of you and Wally. As stick figure’s wow you were such a Picasso. An art exhibit would want this in the garbage.

“ It’s my favorite along with the pictures of you trying to hug the Tv.” She giggled.

“ Why Yes! Mother dearest it fucking fell on top of while while you laughed your ass off. Such amazing memories.” You sarcastically announced.

“ Listen just because you moved out does not mean I won’t shove a bar of soap into your mouth.” She stated upset for you using such ill language.

You apologized with a chuckled before hugging her seeing it was getting late. You went outside to try and find your dad. You went over to his garden to see him chattering with them while watering his favorite marigolds. He had waved over to you upon seeing your arrival hugging you as you came over. You both just quickly chatted for a bit due to your long trip. It wasn’t anything your mother couldn’t fill him in on so eventually after saying your goodbyes as you hugged them.

You got into the car taking off just before a pair of dark eyes watched you in though the corner of your mirror.

While you told your parents everything you hadn’t told them one thing. You had a bit of a stalker situation as you’ve been calling it. Every morning you’d receive an envelope with a heart shaped sticker keeping it together sometimes red or pink. But every time you checked them out they had the weirdest thing written on them. Things such as

“ My sweet dreamer you looked so beautiful sleeping I couldn’t help but never take my eyes off you” red meant they would be very creepy.

“ I miss you my sweet dreamer. Do you miss me? I love you so much. Do you love me?” The pink ones were sweet but just…so odd because you hadn’t been seeing anyone at the moment and they always said I miss you.

But this time when you got home it had and apple sticker on the envelope and was here a lot earlier than expected.

“ I see you went back home. Did you miss me? Do you remember me now? I love you <3.”

“ Wow another letter from my stalker how lovely.” You sighed.

You brought the letter to the police station as always.

“ This is the 7th time this week and they know I went to my parents house. Shouldn’t this be enough to have some kind of investigation?” You asked as they shook their head saying what they always did “ I’m sorry but there isn’t enough evidence for us to make it an investigation of any sort.”

You nodded before stomping off once you got outside. This was ridiculous. Everytime you were trying to get help they turned you down. It’s like you with your ex Timmy. Like seriously Timmy Turner Who? But besides that you just wanted to know if someone was either in your house or somehow got access to it. You didn’t have the money for cameras or for the power bill to run your phone all night while it charged. Sure you were a bit of a cheapskate but what if you need the money. You’d rather die than be in debt to the power company! You refuse to be their bitch!

You angrily poured plopping yourself down onto the sofa to watch Tv. As you flipped through the channels you saw a familiar logo show. You hurriedly flipped back to it. The Welcome Home logo and theme song suddenly appeared. The bright and colorfully vibrant show blinded you for a second before you eyes adjusted to it. As you watched the episode you had started to unlock old memories. Such as those being your favorite episodes and two Wally Darling.

“ Omg! I remember this!….Wow Frank is such a mood and underrated. Ha! And they say he’s the straight man? He’s done nothing it give Eddie bedroom eyes.” You chuckled chatting throughout the show.

All was going well before Wally asked what to paint.

“ Well Neighbor what should I paint today?” He asked tilting his head looking at the audience.

“ Eddie and Frank kissing!” You shouted getting super pumped up from the show like you used to.

It was relaxing really to think back to your old childhood memories. Remembering all the fun you had and innocence you once had too. But your mindset was now back onto it.

“Hmmm? Eddie and Frank kissing that such a bold thing to request but I’d rather it be me and you my sweet~.” He smoothly said while you where left speechless.

“ Damn the writers were thirsty for this episode.” You said fanning yourself wondering how it was so smooth.

“ Oh no my sweet no one had written these lines all of them were made by me. I’ve been so sad without you won’t you stay around longer neighbor.

Oh shit

Two posts on one day Yay! I’m on a roll will it be three next? Not sure but this turned into a crack fic so quickly hope @blu3n you enjoyed it and it was up to your standards! And ty all sm for supporting me! I really appreciate you all for the sweet comments you leave! Hope you are all doing well or that things get better for you <333

Sincerely-Cup1dT3a 💌

[sarucane]

Why did Ed think becoming a fisherman made any sense at all?

Seriously, this was always a ridiculous idea. Stede gets zero blame for laughing the first time Ed says it--it's an even crazier and more extreme whim than Ed saying "we'll go to China." And it's reasonable that it blindsides Stede for Ed to be leaving--a few hours ago Ed was making Stede breakfast in bed and taking Stede out to his favorite restaurant, and now he's leaving forever. That's a hell of a mindfuck there. So why does Ed think it makes sense to follow this whim?

Ed starts this episode by throwing away his leathers. He's trying to discard and excise the 'kraken' part of his personality, trying to consciously transform into something else (hence wearing Button's clothes).

At first, he's also trying to embrace being with Stede.

He volunteers information that shows how important Stede is to him by describing the mermaid vision. But, just like when he told Stede about how "sometimes it's nice to just be patient," Ed's not directly owning his feelings here. He's skimming right past the fact that it was he, himself, who was choosing (unconsciously, but still choosing) to die, and his bond to Stede is why he came back. In fact, the closest he comes to actually saying he felt a certain way is by admitting he panicked over the twine.

And Stede, who just feels so secure in this relationship right now, more comfortable in his skin than we've ever seen him, just does not get Ed's insecurity. He doesn't reassure Ed by saying "the breakfast is great with or without the twine" he says "it actually made it!" And when Ed tells about the vision, Stede doesn't seem to register how big a deal it was.

They're not communicating here, they're just not. They've had this very intimate experience, but there's still distance between them. The visuals reinforce this: they're at opposite ends of the bed, they don't come close to touching at any point in the scene. Ed's dressed and Stede's comfortably naked.

Ed snuck out of bed and went to throw his leathers away by himself. He doesn't tell Stede what he's done, and Stede doesn't comment on Ed walking around in Buttons' clothes. Ed's thrown away the kraken--and then he watches Stede embrace being "a sea god."

And this fear and disconnection to Stede goes right back to how Ed's been acting ever since he came back. He's not been opening up to Stede. He's not been willing to get vulnerable with Stede again; he doesn't trust himself not to wreck it and get his heart broken, and he doesn't trust Stede not to break his heart. The filmmaking choices (bless this amazing meta for explaining it all) have been signaling this ever since they found each other again: they love each other, but they're on different wavelengths.

Ed's trust in Stede is brittle, even before he gets the idea that he and Stede want different things out of life (piracy vs anything-but-piracy). So, Ed goes out and sits with himself. Then he takes Izzy's suggestion and he listens to himself, to his desire not to live a certain life anymore.

But rather than deciding to talk to Stede about this, he decides he's going to leave before the conversation even starts.

Ed gets really, really close to real communication with Stede here. He admits that he doesn't feel safe in the relationship, and that the speed and intensity that Stede has reveled in have made Ed feel less safe.

And even now, even though he lost all track of Ed for a big chunk of the day and now he's being surprised by deep withdrawal--Stede is still all in. He could have been heartbroken or angry. He could have panicked and apologized, or frozen and shut down the conversation.

Instead, Stede listens. And he tries to make good on what he told Ed: "I love everything about you."

But Ed doesn't really hear this, because he doesn't trust Stede, the connection between them, or himself. Because "Trust no one" includes not trusting oneself.

Rather than engaging with what Stede actually says, Ed starts ranting, and uses his own insecurities to push Stede away. Stede's right, it is panic.

Stede mirrors Ed's body language all through this part of the scene. He gets what's happening, understands insecurity and what it can trigger (particularly related to an insecurity of "I'm bad for you you're better off without me") deeply--which is why it's so easy for him to forgive this later.

But while Stede understands exactly what's going on now that Ed's finally talking to him directly, for Ed it's all confusing and happening much too fast. So he shuts down, lashes out, and bails out.

Figuring himself out is complicated, navigating his relationship with Stede is complicated, trust and self-realization are complicated. Fishing, on the other hand, is simple. Unlike love or psychological integration, there's no risks in fishing.

[creaturecomfxrts]

Dipper and Mabel pines headcanons?

FINALLY getting around to answering these! since im better at them, heres some college age headcanons that apply just as much to how i view them in the show!

DIPPER PINES

transmasc. duh. of course

parents are INCREDIBLY supportive, super understanding. hes on hormone blockers in the show and starts HRT as soon as hes able, getting top surgery and bottom surgery in his early 20s

bisexual! ran into a guy junior year of highschool and went oh GOD. this is wendy 2.0 im going to die

NERD.

LOVES board games. so much. not just dungeons and dragons and monopoly im talkin everdell, wingspan, cascadia, catan. he loves a good think. he also loves dragging everyone else into playing them with him. he always wins. almost always, anyway

absolutely adores college and everything about it hes a little freak. totally ends up being the president of a few clubs, co creating some, etc. made an occult club AND a hiking club at his college

loves doodling, loves horror. his teachers? not so much. they try not to look at the weird ass creatures he draws on the margins of his very well written homework.

probably goes into something smart. like biochem. or um. stem. im (author) is a liberal arts major all i do is write gay fanfiction.

PSYCHOTIC ASS DORM ROOM. he barely decorated it like a classic college male but has a conspiracy board and thats it. which is full of strange shit hes seen outside of gravity falls. to be fair its very well documented and somewhat neat, just…. strange decor. he lives in a single (introvert)

COVERED in tattoos, but always abides by the suit rule (all tattoos need to be able to be covered by a suit to be professional. he knows this bc hes a neerrrrddd). he has really sick sleeves of runes and other occult like things hes found interesting. he has cipher related tattoos as well and also even got ford to design a few.

he has PROMINENT eye bags. he will never fix his sleep schedule

ended up working as a summer camp counselor for a while right outside if gravity falls! the kids loved him but he couldnt stand the heat and bugs all the time so he only did it for a summer or two

even after turning 21 he doesnt actually drink that much, hes a craft beer enjoyer and likes to make it himelf (Much later in life)

ALWAYS stays in touch with mabel. if anything happens in either of their lives you better BELIEVE theyre already on the phone with eachother

medical marijuana card holder

smokes to help eith his anxiety. it works WONDERS

coffee drinker but actually Does put cream and sugar is coffee. sometimes. other times hes too tired and just thugs it out

MABEL PINES

THE number one it girl ever

NUMBER ONE TRANS ALLY EVERRRRRR she loves her brother so much

pansexual!! she loves cool people, thats her motto

went to a fashion design school, is loving it despite drowning in work

began dying her hair in cool ways through highschool, now she always has some of her natural color present but goes a little crazy on the highlights

found out about huge dangley joke earrings. went absolutely crazy. has an entire space on her desk dedicated to her many many earrings. she has babies, knives, bags of doritos, aliens, glow in the dark ones, anything you could imagine.

fantastic at fashion design. stuggled a lot with the fancier stuff but her teachers were floored when they let her go wild on casual comfy wear. she excells in combining fashion and comfort in really exciting and colorful ways.

a party girl through and through, loves clubs, raves, concerts, anything!

video game lover as well, cracked at pvp games.

still boy crazy, just less so (has had like. 10 college boyfriends)

literally the sweetest friend ever. she loves hosting movie nights and tea parties (bc who wouldnt. theyre awesome)

tea drinker, loves floral teas with honey

HATES. black coffee. a starbucks frap girlie 4ever

has been scouted for modeing multiple times and only accepted when it was a commercial with puppies

love love loves making friendshio bracelets. knows all the patterns, all of her friends have a hefty amount of a bunch of different ones because she just keeps making them

anywwy, here you go! i love these two so much, i hope ive done them justice!

[mikeandikeschmidt]

FNAFMovie!Incorrect Quotes: Part Four

WILLIAM, as Steve Raglan: You're clearly not listening. I can say whatever I want, can't I?

MIKE, half asleep: Tell me about it.

WILLIAM: I murdered another kid last night.

MIKE: I feel you.

WILLIAM: Now I have the taste of blood, I can't stop killing.

MIKE, yawning: Been there

***

MIKE: If I seem intense, that's for one reason and one reason only, okay? I don't wanna be here and I'm really sad.

***

VANESSA: Why is Barbie's the Nutcracker the only good film adaptation of the ballet that has ever been made?

MIKE, who’s been around Abby too long: Because Barbie movies slap, next question.

***

WILLIAM: it's time for you to die.

ABBY: One sec, let me ask my brother

WILLIAM: It's not a choi--

ABBY: Mike said no.

***

MIKE: I did what I could, you know, while I was also trying not to bleed to death.

***

WILLIAM: I will ruin your happiness, no matter the cost!

MIKE: My happiness?

MIKE, turning to Vanessa: I'm happy?

***

ABBY: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

ABBY: *punches wall*

ABBY:

ABBY: Take me to the hospital.

***

MIKE: Well, well, well. If it isn’t my old friend...the dawning realization that I messed up bad.

***

MRS. AFTON: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

WILLIAM: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD

MRS. AFTON: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes. Also, use soap this time?

***

WILLIAM, a career counselor: Look, I would like to give you moral advice, but I have very questionable morals.

***

MIKE: You're my little sister and the most important thing in the world to me. I would do anything for you.

ABBY: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

MIKE: Absolutely not.

***

MIKE: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm ticked off

***

MIKE: You saved me. I owe you my life.

VANESSA: No, thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

***

WILLIAM, first interviewing Mike: You look familiar. Have I killed one of your loved ones before?

***

MIKE: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

***

MIKE: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

WILLIAM: You mean literally or figuratively?

MIKE: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

***

WILLIAM: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

WILLIAM: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'Someone has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

***

VANESSA: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

MIKE: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

***

MIKE: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person. And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

***

ABBY: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

MIKE:

MIKE: Abby, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

ABBY: *Sips chocolate milk from bowl*

***

MIKE: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

(This can apply to both the movie and the game)

***

VANESSA: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

MIKE, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

***

MIKE: Okay, maybe playing, "Whose family is more dysfunctional" was a bad idea. Vanessa's sobbing in the bathroom now. We can't get her out.

***

MIKE: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just incase.

VANESSA: Mike, that's a coma.

MIKE: Sounds festive.

***

VANESSA: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

MIKE: How can you still say that?

VANESSA: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

***

WILLIAM: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

VANESSA: Twelve, actually.

WILLIAM: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really, whose fault is that?

VANESSA: Yours!

WILLIAM: That's right: no one's.

***

[Mike is the only one raising Abby after his dad’s depressed and his mom lost it]

MIKE: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Mike’s Dad: You're, like, 15 years old

MIKE: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

***

WILLIAM, sitting with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Michael

MIKE: How did you do that without turning around?

WILLIAM: ...To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

***

[The career counselor scene]

MIKE, explaining why he's gone through so many jobs: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

WILLIAM: Mike, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're stupid

***

MIKE, banging on the door: Vanessa! Open up!

VANESSA: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

MIKE: No, I meant--

ABBY: Let her finish.

***

[prodbyblush]

i have a request for the aib boys getting jealoussss, i love your workkk <3

ｎｏｗ ｌｏａｄｉｎｇ …

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 100%

ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

・❥・ requested

→ gn!reader

No matter how hard he tries not to look jealous, he's bad at it. ARISU would look very sad from a far as he watches you get in touch with an old male friend of yours whom he's heard from you that left the country a few years ago and returned a few days ago, but before leaving, that same old male friend confessed his feelings.

"I'm back, Arisu!"

So now what becomes of him? Is he going to get disposed now that he's back? Is the feelings that were once dead coming back to life? Did they even linger while you were dating him?

"Arisu? Arisuuuu!"

Maybe he's just a rebound? A test of water to see if you could love again after his departure. Maybe, just maybe, it would be best to break things off now with you.

"Arisu!"

"Huh?" The raven haired male hums, snapping out of his reverie as he grounds himself back to reality, to you.

"You know I'm yours, right?" He hears you say, cupping his cheeks and squishing them together. "I may look happy seeing him but there's no one else I'll go home to but you!"

And there it is. The words of assurance he needed to hear that he still has you.

For as long as he lives, he'll never admit his jealousy. CHISHIYA would rather much die than show weakness. But sometimes, his own premise to himself falters when it involves you.

"Did you like that person's company at the bar?" He asks, hands tucked inside the pockets of his jacket, sitting atop of the high chair. "It seems that they are more than ready to keep the drinks going."

"The person at the bar?" You repeat. "I don't like their company neither the attention they give me." You say, taking steps closer to him.

"That's good to hear." He replies.

"Were you perhaps...jealous?"

"No I wasn't. I was just looking out for you."

"But that's practically the same."

"Just be thankful."

Even without the alcohol, NIRAGI always wanted to be by your side - morning til night.

"Niragi, I'm hot." He hears you complain, his arms draped around your figure.

"Of course you are." He responded, the scent of his cologne mixed with alcohol and gun powder wafting around him. "Look at how these idiots' look at you."

"But I don't care about them." You reply, pouting. "I want to go back inside the hotel and take a cold shower."

"Aw, but I kind of like the attention were getting here." He coos, placing a kiss on top of your head. "If were here, everyone knows were together." He adds.

"Should we take a dip in the pool instead? I'll get you more cold drinks." He compromises.

"Seems fair." You reply.

"Oi" Niragi suddenly calls out, voice deep as he stands on his feet, rifle always ready in hand. "Got something to say? I saw how you were staring at us."

"No thanks, I'm goo-"

"Fuck off, creep. Guys like deserve to get a bullet in the head."

Before things could even escalate, please control him. He only listens to you after all.

"Is your phone more important than me?"

As much as LAST BOSS doesn't want to admit too, the green feeling latched onto him ever since all this began.

Before even getting to how it is, he lays out all the movies the two of you promised to watch together along with the snacks and drinks of your liking; going as far as letting you borrow his hoodie.

But up to the second movie and you're still on your phone? What the hell is this?

"Who are you even texting?" He asks but it sounded more like a demand.

"Me?" You ask. "It's only my co worker. I'm actually-"

"How much do you two text in a day?"

"...A fair amount? But listen-"

"We don't even text each other like that. The casual good morning, good night and wanna come over texts is all we send each other."

"I know. But aren't we like that because we usually spend time each other than sending texts?"

"Why are you even asking me all this? What's gotten into you? Are you jealous?"

Not replying to the accusation, all he could do is look away to hide the tinge of pink splotching on his cheeks. When he couldn't control it, he'd bite his inner cheek.

"My co worker is a new hired. I told them to text me if they're encountering any problems that was beyond what we covered. But you have me!" You reply, straddling on his lap while wrapping your arms around his neck. "You have all of me."

He knows it's pointless to talk about a topic like this but what could he do when he's curious? KARUBE just wanted to know what your ex partners were like when you were dating them.

"Well..." You begin to say, racking up your brain to reminisce the old, deep hidden memories inside your mind. The ones you've managed to remember the last bits of memories you made with them.

"Some of them were romantic to begin, some of them not quite. Some were good in bed, but some aren't." You added, receiving a slow nod of head from Karube.

"Except this one person." You quickly took note, rambling how this ex partner of yours knew how to push your buttons when in bed.

And as you draw on and on, the jealousy begins to build up in him. His feelings and expression changed into a dark on.

"You can stop now. You lost me at the beginning already." He stops you short, finishing the rest of his beer.

"Are you...jealous? You know I'm yours, right?"

Karube makes a face, brushing off the jealousy he feels like it's nothing.

"Me? Jealous? Why would I be?" He asks. "Though you lost me in the beginning of your story, I can give you much more than them. There isn't anyone else in this world that can make you feel good except me."

TAGS: @aikerx @retrospacealien @chishiya-of-diamonds @boowoomuu @ang3liclov3ly @kenqki @shadowheads-shitshow @lunoxxy @supercoffeeblogs @laylasbunbunny

[bunji-enthusiast]

It's been a while! How's life for ya? Hope everything is going well 🎀

Got a room for some scourge x ( insert animal ) reader? The butthole kind of Scourge <3 not the slowly but surely redeemed Scourge

• Sypnosis || He's one hell of an ineffable dumbass, you aren't sure if you could ever put up with him.

• note || everyone loves a loveable asshole, here's a few short head canons, just what I could think off of the top of my head LOL

He was impossible at times, you simply just wanted to wring him by the neck and throw him across the goddamn continent. You weren't sure if you would be able to put up with him for a few more days, no less a few more hours.

Scourge had toned down his... erratic personality, but not like that was any better at least. You seriously were considering about drilling into him with some lessons on knowing when to read the room and having second-thoughts about his words before he actually says them aloud.

Sometimes the banter with him was hailarious, you'll give him that. Having memorable moments to think back on thanks to him, you still had an intense dislike for him however, as one would with their enemy.

Surprisingly, despite his very asshole personality, he still had some very useful moments in assisting you and others in combat (much to his disgruntled self). But he wanted to live, and Scourge wasn't about to let himself die right there on the spot. So he had to help, but being ordered around wasn't such a fun time for the rebellious hedgehog, but he kept such thoughts to himself fortunately.

Having him as a roommate because you needed to save money on rent would also be a very painful and unfortunate circumstance due to the way he behaves, he will think you can handle the money, he struggles financially. Scourge would've only agreed to the arrangement because to him it meant free housing, actual running water and electricity. Many arguments possibly ensue because of his side of the whole roommate thing, i.e he is not a good mobian to room with. His asshole self would have you start thinking about moving out or rooming with someone else. But the process is far too complicated to worry about right now.

Otherwise at times, you do have your moments. He keeps you in his thoughts, so you stay around. Dumbass process of thinking, what do you think he'd think about?

Scourge definitely flirts with you to mess with you, he does not care what your gender is. Non-binary, trans, male, or female (or even all of the above, such as genderfluid). He can be a little demeaning in his flirting though, as he usually is, flirting without warning too. He does also compliment you on the random just to really fuck with your mind, he can tell it messes you up the most at times.

He does get curious in whatever your doing sometimes if either one of you aren't busy, even actually partaking in whatever the subject may be (ex; watching this new show, painting, or reading). Scourge even has the most unusual expressions on his face, to which you will bring up. He will most absolutely DENY these facts, trying not to crack under the pressure of that smug-ass expression you have on your face.

[jinnie-ret]

ep.1: meet the wives

ratings: fluff

warnings: small mentions of ADHD, cancer, death, body size, cheating

running time: 1.5k words

summary: the brides to be gather and meet each other for their hen party, before they get married.

SKZ MAFS EPISODE LIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Hi!!! I'm Aurora, but most people call me Rori, I'm 25 and I've been single for 2 years," Aurora grinned toothily at the camera as she introduced herself.

"I joined this experiment because I just want to meet someone who makes me feel safe, you know?" her tone has shifted to more of a sad one, but from the way she presented herself you could tell she was good at hiding that side of her.

"I've definitely had some experiences before that have changed who I was as a person, and it's not a nice feeling at all, it's dreadful," Aurora admitted, hinting at something else that must have affected her, eyes unable to look into the camera anymore, or even the person asking the questions to her.

"These past 2 years I think I've really grown as a person, like massive personal growth. I've managed to come out of that time where things were darker, and I just want a husband that will help me see the lighter times too."

"I moved to South Korea from the UK not too long after my previous relationship, and I now work as a nurse! It's a really rewarding job, long hours, but so rewarding. I think it's important my husband cares about hard work too, and yeah."

"Yeah, my family thinks I'm absolutely insane for joining this process, of course they do!" Dallas giggled and covered her mouth as she threw her head back, just imagining and remembering the looks her family gave her when she told them she was going on a show where she'd be marrying a stranger.

"Hi, I'm Dallas! I'm only 21, but, I had been in a relationship for 5 years. I think obviously I've changed since I was a kid, I'm a woman now, and I think now that I'm a woman I need a man," she shrugged her shoulders lightly with a small smile, almost becoming shy at admitting what she wanted in a husband.

"Someone who... is quite calm in their nature, I'd say. Sometimes my brain feels too busy, I do have ADHD and that can sometimes be quite overwhelming. So I think I want someone that'll calm me down but also accept who I am, yeah," she explained as the camera panned to her knee jolting up and down from ner seat.

"For my job I actually have my own little flower shop, and I don't think I'd rather be doing anything else. Some people say to me it must get boring but there's so many stories with the people I meet and why they want to buy their flowers and-" she cut herself off.

"I'm rambling, aren't I? To put it simply, yeah it's a small business, but I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hi, I'm Sienna! I've never had a boyfriend before, so, yes, coming onto a show where I'm going to have a husband, it's, umm, how you say? Crazy, haha. Why am I here? Haha," Sienna's Polish accent came through as she spoke, adding some charm to her.

"I just think... The male figures in my life are very important to me. I remember the day I was told my father had cancer, that was the day I learnt he was going to die from it..." she bravely admitted, eyes welling up with tears. The screen showed her grabbing a tissue.

"Sorry can I have a moment?" she sniffled, holding her hand up to block the view of her getting upset.

"He always told me to think with my heart, and I think that's something that will stick with me forever. I know he won't be there the day I get married, but I've got a part of him with me always," she spoke gently of her father's warm advice.

"I think I can come across as quite closed off, I am training to be a lawyer, so I feel like I have to look at things quite unbiased, but with love... I'm not sure how it will go. I think I just want someone who will accept me for me, you know?"

"This is 100% the right place for me to be. I want love, I need it. I'm done living my lonely girl era. I mean that era was a whole year but let me tell you it was a long year," Octavia admitted as she sheepishly shrugged her shoulders.

"I've been in and out of relationships a lot, and they've never really matched me. It always left me thinking, maybe I was too much for them to handle?"

"I just want someone cheeky who will match my humour, that's a big thing for me. Someone who is ambitious too, yeah that's important for me as well," she nodded, describing her ideal type.

"I'm a model, I travel quite a lot for different shoots or campaigns so I hope that my husband is someone who could handle that, and cope with my busy lifestyle."

"Hi, I'm Valentina! I'll say it how it is, plain and simple like that. I work in sales, it's not the most interesting job I'll be honest, but it pays the bills, haha," she laughed, tossing her over her shoulder and giving a 'help me' look to the camera jokingly.

"I just live for the Fridays where me and my girls can go to the bar at the end of a long day and do a bit of karaoke. I have been told I have quite a good voice, not to brag," Valentina smirked.

"What do I want in a husband? I need someone who can handle my fieriness, someone who will accept me for me."

"I think people look at me a certain way, I'm not a prude, but I want my fairytale. My parents have been together for 40 years now, they're so important to me. My family is my world. So, as ambitious as it may sound, I want to have my fairytale in this experiment."

"Hi, I'm Tanaka! All I know is old people, fish, and the sea. You don't get a lot of people my age near the village I live," she introduced herself.

"I'm from Japan but live near the beach in Uljin! I'm looking for love, and I don't quite know what that will look like yet but I need something to fill the void," there was a pause as she spoke seriously, before she chuckled and leant back into her chair, "too deep?"

"I work at an aquarium, people come in with their kids, it's definitely something I want one day... Even if I can't carry them myself."

"I want my husband to understand me I think, which will be hard because I don't fully understand myself. But maybe they'll bring a different side out of me? Who knows haha... I'm looking forward to it."

"I'm Taniyah! I need a man that can handle a big girl-" Taniyah gave a cute look to the camera and looked it up and down as if she was flirting with whoever was watching. The camera quickly cut.

"Is that too much?" she giggled heartily, her hand habitually resting on her chest as she did so.

"Guys I've been with in the past... They've only wanted to get with me because they're curious of what it's like to be with someone plus size... They almost, how you say it? Fetish? They don't care about who I really am, deep down. And that's been a huge problem for me my whole dating life, it's really held me back."

"I work as a therapist, mainly with teens, and I go into schools and talk to them and just really help get down to the roots of their problems."

"I think I want someone who is caring and a good listener, because they're things I strive to be too, so yeah, I need a man that'll match my energy. Just wait til he sees me in full glam too, the boy won't be able to keep his hands off of me!" Taniyah cheered, clicking her fingers.

"Korea is very different to India let me tell you that," Ishani said in wonder, before adding on quietly with a small smile, "I like it."

"I came onto this show because the last time I was in a relationship I got cheated on, very badly, and I want someone who I can rely on all the time. I don't even have to know what they're doing, I just need a trustworthy person to be my husband, because then I won't have to worry."

"I do work as a vet, so I get to see animals quite a lot. It really is my dream job, I feel so lucky. I trust the animals more than men sometimes I can't lie. They're better listeners!" Ishani's eyes lit up as she spoke passionately of her job.

"I think what I also want out of the experiment is personal growth too. I've kept myself to myself for far too long, and I want someone to help bring things out of me I didn't know were there."

watch next ep -->

viewers: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @jyu-037 @keen-li @strawberry31

[doonalli]

hi !!! i lauv ur analysis’ of yttd !!! would you consider doing one for maple :)?

Woah my first ask!!! Thank you!!!!! Maple is such an awesome character there is so much that I could say about her, I even went a bit into it with Mai's analysis Maple's character is such a tragic one honestly, and there is a lot I could talk about, but writing this on the spot I obviously won't be going as in depth as usual, although I really do want to write a full analysis on Maple sometime, but 3-2 seems just around the corner so idk if I'll get the time....

Regardless, for right now, I'll talk a bit about the way Maple is presented, how that plays into stereotypes, and most importantly how she subverts them too

Maple is immediately presented as a very girly girl, right as we enter her room we are hit with loads of pink fluffy furniture, and she particularly has a keen interest in tea, all things that are traditionally feminine

Even her fight follows this with its emotions gimmick, playing into how women are seen as hysteric by the people who don't respect them

and further playing into that girly stereotype Maple has a deep love for Midori. It's a common trope for women in media to be nothing more than the love interest for the men around them, or for them to fall head over heels for the men they love.

But for Maple this is revealed to be much more sinister, with it actually being something programmed into her, rather than her own true feelings

let's not beat around the bush here, Midori is by no means a good person, AT ALL, but compared to Maple's love, Midori's affection is incredibly twisted, with the prime example being how he talks about Shin

In Kanna's route Midori talks about how unfortunate it is that Sou had to die, as he wanted to kill him himself.

And with that context I find it interesting how when Maple ends up powering down and "dying" Midori takes her and goes to "revive" he with "the power of his love"

It's just peculiar to me the difference between them and how Midori treats them. On that point though, another thing to note with Maple is hands.

To even enter the discussion room a pair needs to hold hands. People holding hands can often be used as a sign of affection, or intimacy, even Ranmaru himself falling into this.

But when Midori decides takes her to get "upgraded" he notably grabs ahold of her wrists, rather than her hands.

Grabbing someone's wrists is usually done because it exerts more power over them, compared to holding hands where it's a mutual act from both parties, and can be let go when either party desires it.

He could have grabbed her by the hand, or any other place honestly, or nankidai could have simply chosen not to show it at all, yet a specific focus was put on Midori grabbing Maple's wrists.

It's clear Midori doesn't treat Maple with care like the green books suggest

Nor does he make any attempt to understand her emotions or sympathise with her like the manual says

I mean he literally gave her the manual in place of a love letter to her, clearly not caring enough to actually write something for her. It doesn't get more ironic than that.

And it doesn't stop there for Maple, as when she is upgraded into Maple 2.0 she is forced into fighting her friends, in particular Mai

And this leads to partway through the fight where she fully cuts off her last remaining hand, which with the context of everything I've said also cuts off her chance of simply holding someone's hand...

But its not all bad for Maple, after all if Anzu survived the way she'll reconcile with Maple is by holding and shaking hands

(fun fact: Nankidai showed an old version of the sprite where Sara reconciles with Maple on stream once and in that sprite she also held Maple's hand, but that was changed before release)

And by the end of her story, Maple is able to fight back against Midori and put the first crack in his facade, even pushing through his "I love you"s and outright stating that she won't believe him. She pushes back on this idea of being defined by her love and is able to truly show herself as a strong person able to stand up the abuser in her life.

And Q-taro will even call Midori out on his mistake here, on how he underestimated Maple, because of his prior expectations,

And coinciding with that, this happens after Maple's monitors all break, monitors that were all linked to emotions, and put them neatly into boxes. It's not like Maple suddenly becomes emotionless either, she still hesitates when Midori says he loves her after all, but it isn't as easy as just reading it on her face, because she isn't defined by her emotions either.

Maple is more than the stereotypes that can be pushed onto her by the people in charge, (or the people who program her,) and the way she is able to fight for her own power says a lot, and proves that she is so much more than what it may seem on the surface, after all, she is human too.

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Thank you again anon for the question, this IS shorter than the others i've written due to me writing it on the spot but i really hope i was able to fufill ur expectations even just a bit I'd love to revisit Maple someday, hopefully we'll be able to see more of her in 3-2 too (or YTTS or a minisode or a page in the updated artbook or SOMETHING) but for now I really enjoy her place in the story and her portrayal and maybe i've been to do her some justice and was able to show some others that too!!!