#the dinghy

[elinekeit-artstuff]

i like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite new a thing.

Excerpt from i like my body when it is with your by E. E. Cummings

[mossiistars]

hc that jon just. can't do quick kisses bc he's such an intense person

[cirrus-grey]

Sorry just thinking about how Jon starts off episode 22 by asking "Martin, are you sure about this?" and it sounds like a bit of a dickish question but then you remember he took Naomi Herne's statement two months before and he's still having nightmares about it.

And he tries to tell himself they're not real. They can't be real, it's just his subconscious mind throwing this disturbing conversation back in his face every night. But part of him knows Naomi is dreaming this too, part of him knows that they're real, part of him knows.

And he doesn't want to inflict that on Martin. He doesn't want to inflict it on himself, seeing Martin in his dreams every night. But Martin insists, so he takes his statement.

The sheer relief he must feel that night when there are no worms in his dreams. The release of tension, the realization that what happened with Naomi was just a one-off. He's still seeing her, of course, but his nightmares are blessedly Martin-free.

Sasha, he just asks if she wants to wait. He's not worried about giving her nightmares, now.

And then Melanie comes in. And he takes her statement. And when he closes his eyes that night, he finds himself in the halls of an old, crumbling hospital, watching the ghost hunter hold her camera up to the crack in a door, and peer inside.

[smallest-fish-inthesea]

This is literally just Martin in The Magnus Archives

[saintbleeding]

[ID: Five panel comic of Jon Sims and Martin Blackwood set during MAG 159-160. Jon is thin and bearded with long, curly hair and scars visible across his face, neck, arms, and hands. He wears a baggy t-shirt. Martin is fat and shirtless with wavy hair and stretch marks visible on his shoulders and hips. The whole comic is in muted purple, with their figures darker than the background, and there are faint orange highlights from an unseen window.

Panel one: they are both asleep in bed, Jon’s arms around Martin’s shoulders and Martin’s face buried in Jon’s shoulder.

Panel two: Both awake, they gaze at one another with sleepy smiles.

Panel three: they kiss.

Panel four: Jon beams at Martin who has his eyes closed with a shy smile.

Panel five: they are asleep again, but rather than looking tense, Jon’s expression is peaceful.

End ID.]

i wanted to draw my hc for their first safehouse kiss which, given, you know, last time, needed the just-woke-up haze to occur.

also did u know drawing jom smiling is like, really good for u, and i highly recommend it, bc i was also smiling the whole time i did it. something something enrichment

[hezekiahwakely]

I would actually kill to hear your post 200 jmart messy divorce thoughts you alluded to in those tags

Woof OK let's get into it then

My foundational piece of thought for this comes from the fic it will be this, always by bluejayblueskies on ao3. That fic is basically the closest I consider canon to the 'jon and martin managed to survive somewhere else, with consequences' ending (if you're an 'optimist' like me and you choose to believe in that option :P) Their relationship in that fic has similar tones to the show-- the writing captures the feeling of TMA well--and the fic in general is very bleak and cathartic, clinging to the edge of a damaged relationship that's about to fall apart. So, I enjoyed this fic A Normal Amount and it's stuck with me ever since.

Now I don't actually have the brain cells or the energy levels to write the fics that're floating around in my head atm, but here are my scattered thoughts on the subject of jmart post-mag 200:

Basically, they can never truly come to terms over the final decision

(Jons desire to end the world's suffering, vs Martin's POV, the betrayal of their relationship and Jon's self hating suicidality)

At least, definitely not in the first few months when they're forced to live together bc they're stranded in this brave new world and have no one else.

Both fall back on negative habits. Jon starts smoking, withdrawing, becoming paranoid; obsessively searching for signs of the fears.

Not one person in the world understands what he's been through. What kind of sacrifice he made. And they don't know how much he failed them all.

And his body hurts. All of his wounds hurt. His head struggles to clear and the empty space in it seems so silent. He sometimes gets mentally lost without the eye to guide him.

He almost wishes they had died. He wishes he hadn't cut the tether. But hes so happy Martin is alive---even if he seems to hate him right now. That's ok, hes alive. Even if he can't smile at him anymore.

Jon craves any sort of comfort. But the only man who had ever wanted to give him that is now enormously angry with him and maybe rightly so. And besides, of course, he's so unworthy of comfort that it's shameful to even desire it. He deeply wishes he could stop wanting it, to stop feeling so disgusted with himself.

He feels disgusted with himself regardless. Helpless and hopeless and confused in this floundering relationship and so very guilty of the things hes done.

He's sinking deeply, deeply into self hatred and despair.

But he still lashes out at Martin occasionally bc he's a bastard

(And bc he deserves to a little bit, y'know? He's angry about a lot of things right now and he has a right to be! And some of those things might be bc Martin uhhhhhhhh. Did not always treat him with the most compassion, understanding, or patience during the apocalypse.)

NO I don't think their relationship in show is toxic or abusive. I think it's realistic that two people who love each other very much in terrible circumstances are going to fuck up. and them hurting each other makes for good drama. anyways

Martin also withdraws, becomes cold and passive aggressive. Assumes the caretaking role for Jon (again) and walls off his feelings

He just can't forgive Jon for leaving him like that. For betraying his trust. For abandoning him. For hurting him immeasurably deeply by forcing him to kill him

And he can't understand his reasoning for doing so, when he thought that there was a chance for them to get out and be ok, and it could have all been so easy, but Jon didn't seem willing to take it. He chose to die instead because of his guilt, and martin is so, so angry at him for that.

And now he's stuck. Again. Forced into caring for someone who has treated him badly, AGAIN.

And he has no one to talk to. No one outside of Jon to go to for comfort, and being around Jon hurts. He is increasingly alone. Again.

Martin's fine. Everything is fine. He doesn't want to talk about it. Would you like some tea? I.e., it's time to shut the fuck up, Jon.

His anger and resentment sometimes turn his tongue as sharp and cold as an icicle. In those moments of icy rage, Martin thinks his voice sounds like his mother's.

Except when he finally can't hold it in and he explodes at jon like a sadness volcano, because Jon can't even look him in the face anymore. And then he leaves to go cry alone in their bedroom

Eventually communication breaks down. Then I have a few fun ideas for what might happen

Jon has a full-on mental break. Becomes catatonic. He's paralyzed by the need to stay here for Martin... but he's also held in place by the webs he sees now tying around his whole timeline. He was never going to be able to stop what they had planned for him. None of his choices ultimately matter --so he stops doing or wanting anything. It will all be taken away from him eventually. Whatever's going to happen will happen regardless of what he does

At the same time, he is experiencing so much pain and so much guilt and self hatred and lack of love in their relationship that he's desperate to escape it. When he finds no relief from any quarter, he becomes extremely suicidal. The only two things holding him to life are 1. not leaving Martin alone, and 2. his hopeless resignation to the web.

Starts having severe panic attacks.

Has that PTSD 'avalanche' where, now that he's finally somewhere he can be relatively safe, everything that happened to him is hitting him all at once.

He's scared of everything. He's scared of what might happen to Martin. He's scared of himself. He's scared of Martin.

Then there's the vomiting, anorexia, agoraphobia, bodily neglect, other passive self harms, the whole nine yards. He's physically falling apart.

Jon has a very bad time.

And he's moved almost entirely beyond Martin's reach

Martin is suddenly forced to come to terms with the fact that Jon needs immediate, intensive medical help if he's going to survive

Fate turns slightly in their favor, and they find a good physical rehab doctor, a good psychiatrist, and a good therapist for both of them. Perhaps at this point they're separated, maybe just bc of a hospitalization, but they're attending counseling together.

In my happiest ending, Jon responds well to the meds and is able to start talking to someone about his overwhelming feelings. Martin is actually able to find therapeutic help for his trauma, finds other people to help him and Jon so it's not all on him anymore, and he starts getting more of the love and support he deserves from his boyfriend

they recommit themselves to the relationship and to making it work. slowly, they start healing.

While also beginning to rediscover all the reasons they loved each other in the first place :)

In a sadder ending, one of them dies ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Eventually both, if we're being honest. One would not last long without the other. Not with that kind of connection

Or perhaps they do separate. Maybe they keep in close touch, in which case I think it would lean more towards a happy ending. Orrrrrr they make a hard break of it. Maybe it's sudden, urgent, painful and messy. Maybe they dont see each other again for years.

Regardless of what they do, I don't think they could truly be apart forever. They would visit. Even if it hurt every time. They would want to see each other again.

Because they care about each other.

But maybe, in one timeline, they need some space to heal and rebuild their lives and themselves. Maybe when theyre ready, they'll try again.

I may continue this later with my other branching ideas possibly but I wanted to get this bit out while it was fresh and I was thinking about it. This line of thought continually haunts the back of my subconscious so I'm always happy to share it

[anachronisticmech]

‘We make toasts with / acetaminophen bought in bulk. Kiss in the airport / terminal through surgical masks.“

-sick4sick, torrin a. greathouse

[ID: A digital drawing of Jon and Martin standing next to and looking lovingly to each other. Jon is a fat, shorter, Bengali, transfemine person with a beard and moustache and long wavy hair that is dark brown and greying. She is very hairy all over, and has scars on her neck, arm, hand, finger, chest, stomach, and leg. She has a bit of top growth, and no signs of bottom surgery. She wears a purple lace, cropped singlet with glasses hanging from the neckline, black feminine underwear, and blue slippers. She is holding a wooden tray with two mugs, a slip of pills, and an orange pill bottle. An ng tube goes into her left nostril, with the iv stand and bag behind her and Martin.

Martin is a fat, taller, Colombian-Polish, transmasculine man with a beard and moustache and mid-length wavy hair that is dark brown, white and greying. He has vitiligo, with patches of pale skin and white hair, pink and red rashes from lupus, and is hairy all over. He wears a grey, fading Garfield shirt, long, fading blue and white striped pyjama pants, and pink and white socks. And square glasses. He is holding a purple bound and his black cane.

In the background the poem ‘sick4sick’ by Torrin a. Greathouse is written in running writing. ID END.]

Read ‘Toasts with Acetaminophen’ here

[ishipgenfics]

Let Us Answer The Question Once and For All...

[buildoblivion]

guess what I’ve been re listening to 😬👀

[seraph5]

SPOILERS FOR MAG 159

Originally I imagined after John finds Martin in the lonely and they both escaped that they would go somewhere and crash. I thought it was possible that they would go to Martin’s apartment and being absolutely exhausted as they were that they would both agree to get a few hours sleep before figuring out what the next move would be.

John would offer to sleep on the couch but Martin would already be falling into bed and telling him not to worry about it and to help himself to some of his clothes to sleep in.

“Besides” John would hear Martin say so quietly he isn’t entirely sure if he meant John to hear “I don’t really want to sleep alone”

John would then return flopping onto the bed with a hint of dramatic flair that makes Martin snicker. They fall sleep almost instantly and deeply.

When John wakes up the next morning he is surrounded by a warm, loving embrace. The experience is at once uncommon and exactly right.

He pushes back the thoughts of all that needs to be done and instead turns over to watch Martin’s peaceful slumber.

****

Image ID: there are three images making up a loose comic configuration. The first image is John and Martin sleeping peacefully, Martin spooning John. John is wearing an oversized T-shirt and tracksuit pants. Martin is wearing a t-shirt and plain pyjama pants. There is a striped doona cover half covering their sleeping form. On their arms scars from the many encounters they’ve had can be seen.

The second image is a close up of John’s face as he blearily begins to wake up. The third is a bird’s eye view of Martin’s double bed with John and Martin lying in it, John having turned over to look at Martin. He’s brought a hand up to rest on Martins arm. The other is resting on his own stomach. His expression is a gentle loving smile.

[elinekeit-artstuff]

Let the years we're here be kind, be kind Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide Settle our bones like wood over time, over time Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine

🎶 Lyrics from North by Sleeping At Last 🎶

[mossiistars]

the sillies

[cirrus-grey]

Thinking about Martin, in season 4, finally snapping and deciding he needs to drive Jon away from him, permanently. He can't keep chasing Martin down: Martin doesn't have it in him to push him away, time and time again. It needs to be one final break, a desperate moment where Jon finally gives up on Martin and realizes that he's beyond saving.

Except, the way Martin chooses to do this is to grab Jon by the lapels in the middle of a conversation, shove him into the wall, and kiss him. It's an assault, right? No way Jon will want to see him again after Martin forces himself on him like that.

From Jon's perspective, the guy he's been pining over for ages has finally given in to the romantic tension between them and swept him off his feet in a breathtaking kiss that'll live on in his memory forever.

Martin steps back from the kiss expecting to see Jon horrified and running away from him. Instead, he sees Jon dazed and love-struck, reaching out to kiss him again.

Jon follows him around twice as much after that. Martin is suffering.

[smallest-fish-inthesea]

Can’t stop thinking about how the universe must know that Martin and Jon belong together on some sort of intrinsic level because seem to find each other in every universe/on every plane of existence, yet also must fucking hate them because they’re never at peace together

[shipping-nexus]

Ship names for Jonathan sims x Martin blackwood

JonMartin

Jmart

Teaholding

Watched kettle

Fabric Rustles

The Dinghy (archaic)

These characters are from the horror fiction podcast, The Magnus Archives.

[saintbleeding]

[ID: Digital comic of Jon and Martin from TMA set at some point during season three. Jon is taller, thin, and has curly hair worn in a messy bun. He wears an overcoat, scarf, and rectangular-framed glasses. Martin is shorter, fat, and has chin-length, wavy hair. He wears a hoodie under an open jacket and round-framed glasses. Martin is coloured in blue and Jon in red.

Offscreen, Tim says goodnight to Martin, who returns the greeting. Jon also says goodnight, but a spiky speech bubble shows Tim replying “piss off”.

Martin looks sadly at Jon and says “he’ll get over it.” Jon, looking away, replies “Doubt it.”

Over three panels, Martin deliberates, says “W- well, I mean. I still like you. So.” and immediately looks mortified. In the next panel, Jon says “I like you too.”

They look at each other, smiling, and Martin says “You ARE off your arse, hey?”

Jon looks down sheepishly and says “No, I’m serious.”

Martin grins, saying “Seriously bloody deranged, maybe.” Jon frowns sideways at him, then grabs his shoulders, insisting “No, I told you, I’m serious.”

The last two panels show their faces close together, Martin staring up at Jon and saying “Oh. Um. Cool.” In response, Jon leans in closer, brushing Martin’s bottom lip with his thumb.

End ID.]

okay look LOOK i can explain (maybe i can explain)

first of all. the hot takes talking abt what a gentlemanly suitor jon is: yes i agree. second of all: i have tall jon brainworms now. third of all: there is the concept of jmart pre-unknowing kiss, and it is good, so i decided what if i made it worse (this comic might have like six parts. srry lmao) (next part is here tho)