#I cannot compare this to anything I have no idea what is as sensitive as a tiny human

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

How do any humans live ever what the fuck

[joocomics]

ಬ boyfriend

pairing: bf!hueningkai x fem!reader

genre: smut — mdni! wc: 1.4k

contains: dom/sub dynamics, dry humping, filming, pet names, dirty talk, unprotected sex, established relationship

a/n: i don’t know, i don’t know… it’s been on my mind, what else can i do about it

[ txt masterlist | general masterlist ]

“more?” kai’s lips form a soft grin while he continues to observe you from below as you sit still on his lap.

“more,” you agree, an affectionate smile forming on your own mouth too. “there’s always room for more pictures of my cute boyfriend.”

kai’s cheeks turn warmer from your words or more specifically from the new title he’s earned himself recently - your boyfriend. the ring of it always calls for butterflies in his stomach, because it sounds so special when you say it. yeah, he feels good when he gets to introduce himself as your boyfriend, but it cannot compare to the satisfaction he gets when you do it, and how the whole air in the room shifts from the confidence you speak out the words with. this is my boyfriend… it’s huening kai, my boyfriend…

he looks up at your face again and lets you snap few more pictures without even trying to focus on the camera, to pose or anything like that. he’s smiling lazily, but he hasn’t stopped doing that since the moment you came over. his cheeks might start hurting soon.

you drop your cellphone next to you on the bed after capturing his tender gaze which still has sleepiness in it from the afternoon nap - it’s only making him look more charming, you notice, - his messy bangs that are peeking from his black hoodie, the soft plushie resting on his chest that’s moving up and down steadily with each calm breath he takes.

you cannot resist the tempting look of his lips for long, nor the way he looks at you as if he’s going through your mind.

kai sighs blissfully as you slowly pull away from the gentle kiss, but not too far, because his one hand goes at the back of your neck and pulls you back in. carefully, but with enough persistence which only causes the next kiss to get more intense in no time.

your tongues eventually meet, wet and warm, they glide against each other, making you moan softly just when kai allows his hand to slide down your back. he gets a hold of your hips as you push the plush toy away and unzip his hoodie in need to feel him closer. you both do all of these little things in order to get more from each other without actually having to separate your lips or bodies too much, because the idea sounds unbearable.

“kai—“ you mumble into his mouth, feeling your face, neck and back turning hot as he begins to grind you down on him… as if you’re actually fucking; with a firm grip that turns even tighter every time his lower body jumps up slightly against you for even better friction.

“mmm…” kai squeezes his eyes as this would help him comprehend better whatever you’re about to say. his brows knit together from the nice rush that keeps coming every time you press against him and glide up along his erection which is peeking vividly through his pair of sweatpants.

“this…” he finally speaks before you manage to gather your thoughts, “feels good…”

the last word shakes a little turning his voice more into a whine.

“i was about to say the same.” you reply, tracing the side of his face with your lips; kissing his sharp jawline, then even lower where the skin of his neck is warm and sensitive, sending arousing thrills through his body every time the tip of your tongue touches it.

you feel him growing harder, meanwhile kai feels himself throbbing and leaking inside his underwear. the hot wave washes all over him with each move of your hips that eventually quicken their speed.

you need him - all of him. now. and you want to break the kiss to tell him that, but you can’t seem to force any of this to stop even for a second. having sex with him was all that’s been on your mind this morning while waiting for the hours to pass so you can come over at his place. you haven’t been intimate a lot, because your relationship is still fresh and new, and it all feels so ecstatic, so exciting. every time you do it it only feels better than the last, and you wonder how it would feel now.

however, you just keep grinding on his hard erection, enjoying the delicious sounds slipping from his puffy lips that are glistening with your saliva.

huening kai feels his skin sweating underneath his clothes as the overwhelming pressure in his core starts to feel like it’s about to burst. his moans multiple so much to the point you can’t make out properly anymore. he stays with his mouth open, growing weaker from your hot breathing fanning his face, and occasionally attempts to press his lips to answer your kisses, but he fails. his whimpers elevate in the room as his hands almost take complete control of your lower half, guiding you back and forth until the ecstatic climax hits him.

the sound he makes as he spills into his underwear is the most satisfying sound you’ve ever heard in your life. you pepper his face with praising kisses while he tries to compose himself with empty mind and face contorted from an expression that makes him seem high and so unbelievably attractive.

with hazed eyes, kai follows your next movements - how you remove his stained sweatpants then afterwards his boxers. a wave of shame washes over him like a bucket of cold water at the sight of his own mess, but the emotion quickly fades away once you run your flat pink tongue along his hard cock. you successfully maintain the eye contact while gathering all of the essence that’s sticking on his swollen tip causing him to twitch. you kiss it softly a few times before getting rid of your own pants so you can move your panties to the side and welcome it inside you.

“fuck, y/n—“ kai whimpers, pressing his head back into the mattress. the squeezing, the wet arousal, the suffocating feeling of your walls… the sensation is always so strong and pleasant.

the first few seconds are always challenging because of huening’s size. you still haven’t gotten used to being with someone this big and it takes you some time to adjust. despite the fact you had sex the other day, because it’s all you want to do, the feeling of it still surprises you like it’s the very first time.

your whimpers beautifully blend with his as you begin to move up and down more freely.

“y/n—“ his hands glide along your thighs before grabbing your waist. “a-ah, keep going—“

your skin slaps against his every time you land on his lap, hitting your sweet spot with the head of his cock that feels so hard between your clenching walls.

kai shuts his eyes while biting his lip in order to contain at least some part of his desperate mewls… and he looks so handsome while doing so, your hand acts on his own when you pick up your phone to record just a few seconds of it.

“my charming boyfriend,” you coo at him, placing a palm on his cheek. “you look so hot, baby.”

kai’s mouth opens in awe as you make one really slow move with your hips, rubbing your clit against him nicely. when he blinks up at you and sees your phone again he smiles shyly. a light chuckle escapes his lips before he kisses the inside of your palm.

“you’re so good to me,” he utters almost in a whisper before making another weak noise of pleasure.

after the video caught the red hues that are painting his neck, you tilt kai’s head in your direction by grabbing his chin, and caress his lips with your thumb. they’re more red than usual, slightly swollen from the long kissing; begging to be devoured again.

“am i taking you well, baby?”

your hips keep up the nice steady pace as you drip down his cock. the camera catches your small heavy breaths while the footage of kai’s teeth grazing your two fingers continues.

“i think i am,” you mewl through a cheeky tone, “i want my handsome boyfriend to feel amazing inside me.”

you push your fingers a little bit further on his tongue and you can see on your phone screen that he likes that even more. his hands crawl up beneath your top as his lewd moans wrap around your knuckles. his heavy eyes open for a moment to look at the camera with lust and haziness before they flutter shut again.

you end the video and toss your phone away. you’ll have plenty of time to film your boyfriend. now, you want to make him cum again.

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

! keep in mind english is not my first language, i apologise in advance for any mistakes i’ve might missed

[y-rhywbeth2]

D&D Vampire Lore Dump #1

Feeding and Diet It's actually more complicated than just "they bite you and eat your blood." Plus what they're able to eat; how often they need to eat; what happens to you if they bite you and what happens to them if they don't feed- spoiler: it's unpleasant. Incidentally, you should reload and kill Cazador again.

(I was comparing stuff across editions and compiling it into something more coherent and then figured I'd info dump about it in case my fixations are useful to somebody out there.)

DISCLAIMER: There are two things to note about the lore presented here: First, while the standard stat block in the monster manual is the default, in terms of lore vampires have this annoying tendency to be incredibly, stupidly varied. They are magical monstrosities ruled by the power of symbolism and superstition above anything else.

The next is that D&D is decades old, spans five editions, several settings and hundreds of writers. One guy establishes a piece of lore, and then the next picks it up goes "nah" and writes something else. I collected info from four different source books, all from different editions, which naturally don't entirely agree on how vampires work. Lore never stays consistent and may contradict itself. You may see information somewhere else from a source I don't have that contradicts what I wrote here. If you read this and like some of this stuff but not other bits, take the good and ditch the rest.

Basically, in D&D, canon is what you decide it is.

Feeding | "Biology" | Hierarchy | Weaknesses and Cures | Psychology

They only need to feed once in a 24 hour period. Vampires can survive between 3-9 months of starvation, but it's a terrible idea. -

There are three different categories of "Undead Hunger." Vampires have two of them and actually need to consume more than one thing to stay "healthy": Blood and life force. -

The blood is obvious. This is categorised as a "diet dependency." It's required to preserve their bodies and powers, and without it their powers* are suppressed as their bodies begin to shut down. *This refers to the powers a vampire gains with age; they cannot lose power they had as a newborn (the base stat blocks given for vampires and spawn given in the monster manual) A vampire requires the equivalent of 12 hit points of blood a day, or it begins to revert into a corpse-like state. Mentally they slowly regress into a desperate, mindless animal frenzy where they'll kill and drain anything containing blood they can get their hands on. Ultimately, if they don't get any blood then they revert into a corpse and they're trapped in their own body as it begins to wither and mummify. They're trapped in a coma, vaguely aware of the passing of time in flashes of awareness until somehow they are fed blood. If they ever wake up again, they will probably wake up feral and absolutely ravenous. -

Vampires rely on the victim's blood pressure to expel blood from the wound they create, lapping and mouthing at the wound rather than actually sucking on it. Being bitten is a highly pleasurable experience that victims can't help but desire, even when they know they shouldn't. -

While the damage done remains, the wounds from a Vampire bite closes itself quickly after the feeding (assuming you're still alive). It does however leave a mark. The bite mark itself is often "less than half an inch in length", and leaves behind a significant bruise that causes no pain or sensitivity to touch. Other side effects include fatigue and a weakened immune system. -

Vampires typically target sleeping victims (less likely to fight back) and favour the blood of their own race above others. So theoretically, Astarion finds elf blood tastes best. -

Drinking animal blood tastes bland and is health-wise akin to drinking tainted water: yes it might keep you alive in desperate times, but it's ultimately bad for you and will probably make you ill. That said, it has no mechanical detriments and a vampire that's forced to live on animal blood will be just as strong as its kin, but considerably bad tempered about it. -

A vampire's secondary feeding requirement is called an "inescapable craving", which means that if a vampire doesn't get that fix then their hunger begins to devour them instead. The pain is described as a spike boring into the vampire's brain, obscuring their awareness. They begin to obsess over feeding to the exclusion of everything else, they become willing to take ridiculous levels of risk to stop the hunger as they become more and more desperate. As they are consumed they become progressively more feral until they're just a rampaging mindless horror driven only by horrific hunger. For vampires, their inescapable craving is life force, which a vampire leeches from their prey through touch leaving the victim weak. Direct skin contact isn't required, if you're wearing full plate and/or the vampire is wearing gloves and they lay a hand on you they can still drain you. Mechanically these were combat abilities, energy/level draining occurred when a vampire struck a target with their own body (usually their hands). Before 5e hit them with a nerf bat, vampires could permanently weaken you this way (you could lose character levels from this). 5e also seems to have rolled life drain into the biting, so a vampire can consume your blood and energy at the same time. -

Post feeding, a vampire starts to look alive. Their skin is flushed and warm and they feel elated and energetic. In contrast, a vampire that hasn't been feeding properly becomes more corpse like and feels "sluggish" (I'm interpreting that as flu-like symptoms). It's purely emotional however, the vampire is no less capable and dangerous and suffers no mechanical penalties. -

Vampires can feed on other vampires, which is actually more filling than living humanoid blood and gives them the ability to communicate telepathically for a few hours. They don't like it though. If a vampire drinks from another vampire then they can be controlled by that vampire and the link forces them to feel affection for each other against their will until it wears off. The results of both vampires in question feeding on each other is described as "debilitating" since they both paradoxically become enslaved to the other's will and forced to "love" each other creating an absolute dysfunctional mess of control, obsession and resentment. The good news is that it only lasts a few hours. -

Some vampires can eat regular food (no nutritional value in it for them) while others would regurgitate it if they tried. As they retain their tongues, vampires can also taste food. That said, it's a bad idea for them to eat garlic, even if they can eat solid food. -

Some kinds of vampires don't drink blood. There's all kinds of weird and wonderful stuff a vampire might be required to consume instead. Spinal fluid stands out. Or the bit about ones who drain the ocular fluid from your eyes. Gale might find interesting things to talk about with the magic eating ones who prey on mages. They're much less common, probably something to do with most people not finding that very sexy. I don't think any of them exist on Toril.

[gars-weaponeer]

The Bullied Bad Batch?

Here comes a controversial take...

But It kind of always rubbed me the wrong way to see the first episode of the bad batch and have this narrative that they have always been bullied by the other clones for being different, like some sort of Star wars Loosers club.

It really doesn't makes sense to me. Specially comparing them to their episodes in the Clone Wars.

For starters: Sure, they are called "defective clones"... but are they really? Nothing about their mutations gives them an actual defect or a weakness. The closest we have is Tech's intelligence being so great he is way to logical about everything and lacks in social interactions.

But other than that the fact that Hunter's heightened senses overwhelm him sometimes, or that Crosshair's eyes are sensitive to bright lights, or that Wrecker's Muscles are in constant pain are all fandom made.

They were not just "born defective" like 99 and the Kaminoans decided to let them out into the world see what happened. They presented "some" mutations and the Kaminoans enhanced said mutations to make them perfect soldiers.

They are an an experimental group sure, but they were treated as a clone comando squad, an elite group.

I find it very hard to believe that an "elite group" would be bullied for being "different". It's like saying the Delta Squad was bullied by the other ct troopers.

Not to mention, their actitudes in their clone wars episodes are more akin to bullies. They are arrogant, They pick up fights with the other clones, They undermined the other clone's thoughts, ideas and even abilities. They don't follow orders and do things their own unorthodox way. Hell! even the "Reg" name they give regular clones sounds almost like an insult or a slur.

So why did we suddenly pass from: "They are just Regs, they cannot compare with us" to "The regs are calling us names, we have no friends in the school cafeteria." ???

-But Weaponeer! - I hear you say - They are called the Bad Batch because they were born defective.

And to that I say, NO. They are called "Clone force 99" because they were born with mutations (like 99). They call themselves "The Bad Batch" because they are a group of edgy, rebellious, younger clones that are aware they are different from the rest.

Let's not forget that deleted scene where we learn the Bad Batch had some nose art of a sexy Padme. That reads: "Born to be Bad."

Just so you can understand their actual energy.

That said, I think the writers should have kept the Bully Bad Batch on their series. At least on the first episode, when they are still in the GAR.

IMAGEN THIS:

The Bad Batch is an experimental group that is very important for the Kaminoans. So much so that they are given preferential treatment over regular clones, even comando clones.

They have their own personal barracks, They have their own ship that is theirs, They are allowed to do as they wish during missions since Kaminoans want to test them and record their evolution.

The Bad Batch know they are the Kaminoan's favorites, so does the regular clones and they hate it.

To regular clones it feels unfair. They are the ones that run into the battlefield and fight endless hoards of droids daily just to have this bunch of reckless clones rush in, do whatever they want, explode something and receive all the praise.

Not to mention that The Bad Batch is not nice about it either, they are arrogant, they boast, they call the other clones "regs" and compare their superior abilities to the rest constantly, almost like they forget they are clones too.

Worst part is, the Regs can't really do anything about it. Pick up fights with them always ends up badly. Wrecker is strong enough to send any reg to the med bay with one punch, Hunter can always anticipate punches and Crosshair has excellent aim when throwing the cafeteria trays.

The only one there that does not condone the behavior of his peers is Echo. Despite being a Reg he was accepted by the Bad Batch thanks to his unusual appearance and skills, but Echo is constantly trying to stop them from being mean to his other brothers. Not that it does much as the Bad Batch still see Echo as the "newbie" despite him being an ARC trooper.

But they are not bad people, they do have a sense of duty and honor like any other clone and they wouldn't really cause real harm to an ally. They see Omega and treat her with care, after all she is a young girl and they are not animals. They see the "insurgents" they were sent to kill and of course they cannot do that! Killing innocents? that's not what they do!

When they rebel from the Empire and go AWOL their whole world comes crashing down.

They no longer have the protection of the Kaminoans, they are no longer the favorite clones, now they are the traitors, hunted down not only by the whole empire but by one of their own.

This sudden change would make the batch wake up and turn from unruly teens to mature adults.

Hunter now has to be the mature leader and guide his team to safety in a harsh galaxy that keeps getting more and more dangerous. He has to be more careful, to a point that he is almost afraid of taking risks, specially since he has Omega to worry about. It would give him some character arc in which he passes from being carefree, to overly cautious, to learning to balance both.

Tech would learn that even though he has all the theory, he doesn't have all the practice. Nothing is as easy as just saying it, and things that he used to take for granted are now being mayor issues.

Echo's knowledge of the galaxy and skill would be more useful to his peers, but his tendency to distrust causes him problems in the long run. Not to mention he would still not be happy about sitting down doing nothing while his brothers are suffering at the hands of the Empire.

While Wrecker is having the hardest time adapting to their new life, being the more immature of the bunch. He learns that he cannot be as reckless as he has always been during their time in the GAR, specially when they have Omega to worry about.

That's Right people! MORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! I think it would have been interesting to see that sort of dynamic.

┕━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━┙

Then Again, these are just my thoughts. You are welcome to agree, add your own thoughts or just ignore them if they are not your cup of tea.

If you reached all the way down here thank you for reading ♥

And may the force be with you.

[eww-y-tho]

Colin VS Toxic Masculinity and Why Penelope Had to Reveal Herself as LW

I made a previous post with my two cents on why the idea of them both figuring out a solution to LW was an inferior concept to just Penelope figuring it out on her own, but it was small and I want to go more in-depth.

So, in order to grasp ✨my perspective✨ of the story, we first need to talk about Colin's struggles with toxic masculinity and his inferiority complex.

Naturally, Colin is a hopeless romantic with demisexual tendencies and a more prominent softness compared to other male leads. He's a bit dense (I say with love) until he figures out what he wants and how he's going to get it, and then he is a man of frankly ridiculous action. He's a sensitive boi who has a difficult time fitting in with the other men in his life and being taken seriously by his family, as he puts it himself. An empath, lol.

Honestly, Colin being a "rake" was an integral point of his character arc, and if you haven't picked up on that text by now, I would ask where your media literacy is. Violet put it best, he's putting on armour to protect himself from the way that society treats his character, and naturally, he develops a small, albeit persistent inferiority complex because of this. He doesn't feel like he's providing enough to the people around him because of toxic masculine standards.

I honestly think it's been with him since s1, and Pen is the only person who could bring these thoughts to the surface, which is why it comes to a head in s3 p2.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In his efforts to fit in, he does some questionable things, such as the 2x8 comment, which he regrets as soon as he realizes how much damage it has done to his relationship with Pen. He hangs around with douchebags that he can't stand because he feels a need to conform and "be the kind of man society expects him to be."

But he also absorbs toxic masculine tendencies in the process. His gut instinct of general envy that a woman, Pen, is more successful than him (I hate to put it that bluntly, but that's how I took it), asking for her to quit LW because of these reasons, completely disregarding Pen's autonomy and her perspective by blindly charging forward to stop Cressida's blackmail, among other smaller things.

It's kind of ✨subtle✨, but I know it's there.

Pair that with his inferiority complex and you have a man who is trying to put down Penelope to his level, if that makes sense. By this point, he's already conquered the idea that he needs to conform by the way he cuts off his toxic friend group, but he isn't completely free from the systemic perspective.

Therefore, the idea that Pen would need him in order to find a solution to her problem confirms that toxic masculine trait. Let's be real, Penelope didn't and doesn't need Colin in order to help with LW's problems. She's managed without him before and will continue to manage it by herself. This is not to say that Penelope doesn't have an issue with accepting help from others and feeling the need to handle her problems alone because of her old situation, but she takes the emotionally intelligent move by LITERALLY voicing what she needs from Colin and their relationship.

She needs his companionship, she needs his love, she needs a rock she can come to at the end of the day and be able to depend on. She does not need him to do anything for LW, as it is a part of her identity and an accomplishment that she is proud of and will not let go of. Colin cannot make the demand that she drop everything she's worked for for him.

And that's how relationships work in the real world. You have things you are willing to let go of, and some things you are not. Your partner has to accept those boundaries you have set or leave the relationship, and you shouldn't have to abandon those things in order to get the person of your dreams, because that would make it a toxic relationship from the start and will most likely end in you losing parts of yourself in your partner.

Anyway, all this is to say that Penelope had to get out of her situation by her own means and with full autonomy on what she wanted to do to finish off her character arc.

And Colin needed to realize that his envy is a baseless emotion that simply has no value compared to the woman he knows her as. A strong, independent woman who doesn't need him to do things for her. He also needed to humble himself and see the way that LW is not competing with him, but a part of her. They both demonstrate that what they need from the relationship is not transactional in nature, but rather a shared bond powered by love.

I understand the idea of wanting them to both find a way out of the blackmail as a team, but again, that's explicitly not what they need from each other, and why I think this perspective is again a misunderstanding of their character arcs.

I think I've articulated this the best way I can, but I do know I wanted to say some other things. I'm tired tho, so yeah, ending it here.

Hopefully, this made sense.

Bai!

[y3ahwhat3ver]

Been seeing this over and over and it's sort of been annoying me but. Valentino and Alastor are not even remotely comparable. Like. Look I may be a bit biased bc I like Alastor and don't like Valentino beyond the funny moments he has but like.

Okay. Alastor sucks. Like he's a violent dickhead but part of that is that he's very restrained in his violence. The only times we see him do anything outright violent are when he/the hotel are under attack and then his one moment with Husk. His relationship with Husk gets brought up a lot when people make the comparison but to me like.

Throughout the show you see Husk talk shit to Alastor, literally all of the time. He heavily dislikes him (in my opinion a major part of that is bitterness over losing his own title just to become subservient to Al) but he doesn't ever really seem scared of him, beyond the one moment. He and Alastor have known eachother for years and it's pretty clear to me that Alastor sort of just. Let's him say whatever as long as he doesn't hit A Limit. Alastor's own contract is something he's very clearly sensitive about and Husk bringing that up when he was already in a bad mood. I'm not saying the way he treats Husk in this scene is good, or right but just that it makes sense in context.

I guess what really does it for me is Niffty as well? Like it's so clear she loves Al, quite literally crawling all over him and crowning him. They have a very sweet relationship in the show. She's comfortable enough with him to freely speak about her own feelings ("I really like them Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing")

You just get the sense that like. Alastors relationship with his contractee's is. Maybe not the most outright friendly but it's not inherently violent.

And then you compare that to Valentino. Valentino is violent, but worse he's impulsive. And also kind of an idiot. Like the first time we see him it's Velvette calling Vox to come deal with him bc the man is on a rampage and killing her models. He has to be talked down from going to the hotel and killing everyone there. (Already a bad idea image wise but like. With the literal Princess of Hell in that hotel it's like. What was your plan for after that Val. What was your plan for after you attacked the only heir to the throne, the literal daughter of the devil. Christ.)

The difference here is that the only contractee we see him interact with is Angel Dust, and their relationship is fraught with abuse. Physical, sexual, and psychological. Valentino enables his drug addiction because it makes Angel more compliant. Even when he is not being violent towards Angel himself, he's still perpetuating that violence through the work he has Angel do (literally the everything about Poison makes me kind of sick to watch. Tbh, like great song but i cannot watch the mv without getting kind of upset. And look there's a conversation in there about sex work, and specifically SAFE sex work but that's not really what this post is.)

Like. There's literally a line in the show about Angel being WATERBOARDED at work. ("You know, Val, he's into that waterboarding shit now - I don't know, it's a kink." - episode 6 welcome to heaven) And this is JUST Angel's perspective. You don't see Valentino's other contracts but from the way Angel is treated, it's kind of clear that he does shit like this to anyone under his control, and thus anyone who cannot tell him No.

Look. You get the sense that Alastor is a dick, but there's no implication that he takes Niffty and Husk out back and beats them when he's aggravated (with them or otherwise.) We literally watch Valentino assault and threaten Angel because there is someone stronger than him [Valentino] who is trying to get him out of work.

[Edit (June 2nd, 2024): I want to clarify that I do like loser, baby and also Husk as a character and this is more abt my grievances with fandom comparing the two. In series, Angel needed that discussion with Husk and even thought their situations aren't 1:1 or even really that similar, it's still clear that Husks attempt to like. Empathize with him worked for Angel. That is all, thank u and goodnight]

[atarahderek]

Today on: INFP or ADHD?

Perspective taking

I get weekly bonus traits from Genomelink, and this week's trait is as follows:

I find this to be accurate to me. I can see things from others' viewpoints, but that's a skill I had to learn. It does not come naturally to me. So I have to consciously remind myself to slow down and listen, and try to understand where the other person is coming from.

Believe it or not, that is an Fi thing (ftr, I call it "eff-aye," not "fie" or "fee").

Or possibly a neurodivergent thing.

Let me explain...

Fi is kind of self-centered.

Introverted Feeling (Fi) is an analytical function, but what it analyzes are emotions and emotional experiences. Especially in the user. It is the idealism function and has its own idea of how the world should be. It is the moral core function. It is the function that makes the user adhere firmly and stubbornly to their own identity. It does not like compromise, especially on what it perceives to be a moral issue. The Fi-dom in particular has their worldview set in stone by a certain age and they'll be darned if they so much as entertain someone else's. This is why we're kind of easy to offend. Pick on us directly and we'll take it because we value harmony and being able to control our own emotions (we save them for when we want to write you as a character in our stories and then brutally kill that character off). But attack some person, ideal or issue near and dear to our hearts and we'll fly off the handle. And often it does not matter whether that attack is coming from pain or how calm and respectful your argument is. All we see is the attack itself and we lash out. We have to learn not to do this.

Contrast Ti, which is analytical on all fronts and will take an interest in other perspectives purely because they exist. Or Fe, which hears out the other side because it literally cannot do anything else. As the empath function, it feels what the other person is feeling the moment the user is in close proximity to the other person. And it seeks to know more about the source of that feeling so that it can manipulate it to its advantage (Fe can be devious). So for Fe/Ti users, perspective taking comes as naturally as breathing.

So the fact that perspective taking is not an inborn skill for me is definitely the result of my dominant Fi. Unless it's actually the result of ADHD. Because...

ADHD has rejection and anger management issues.

People with ADHD tend to have short tempers compared to neurotypicals. This is because the ADHD brain can be overwhelmed with too much information due to limited working memory (the RAM of the brain) and a deficit in the hormone dopamine which is required to motivate the brain to get to work processing information. This causes the individual to lash out in an attempt to get the flow of information to slow down, organize itself or cease altogether. People with ADHD also internalize all kinds of negative messages about themselves, and that can cause outbursts of anger. When you're angry and overwhelmed with information that you physically cannot process properly, you tend not to listen to people around you. Even if you could focus on what they're saying, you're not going to really hear them when your working memory is overloaded.

ADHD also causes rejection sensitivity. This can create problems in an argument. A person with ADHD can do just fine in a civilized debate. But if the debate becomes a heated argument, ADHD starts to get in the way. The opponent starts to take offense and go on the attack, and that's a clear case of rejection of the other person's viewpoint. This can cause the person with ADHD to either respond in kind and escalate the conflict, or shut down altogether and walk away. Neither response allows the person to hear their opponent's perspective. And it can permanently damage the relationship, as the person with ADHD will often try to avoid the person who rejected their viewpoint so as to avoid a similar conflict.

Undiagnosed neurodivergent people can sometimes be clued into their condition by their inability to consistently practice perception taking. Even if it's a skill they've worked hard to learn, the fact that they still fail at it sometimes can indicate that there's something going on upstairs that's a little more beyond their control than they realize. There may be an underlying cause to your inability to see through another's eyes, and it's not because of some personality flaw.

What do you think? INFP or ADHD?

For my part, I think both my dominant Fi and my ADHD are contributing factors in having to learn and actively practice perspective taking rather than coming by it naturally. I have learned how to do it, and yet I still struggle sometimes to do it when I'm blinded by anger. It's a trap anyone can fall into, but it's definitely something I think the Fi user with ADHD is the most prone to.

[waterfallofspace]

A Little Game, A Lot Of Torture. 

The one in which G/ojo has been a bit of a (loveable) prick, so his friends decide to hold a little contest to see who can get him back the best. Contest rules? Whoever makes him sneeze the most in one attempt wins, you can’t get his help, you can only use one method. Let the games begin! (Do I have requests I should be working on instead? Yes. Was this idea haunting my every waking hour until I finally agreed to write it? Also yes. I promise I’ll get back to requests tomorrow &lt;;3) Takes a minute to get into heavy snz stuff, but hopefully it's still enjoyable! (credits to @snzdreams for the breathtaking headcanon that even talking about sneezing gets G/ojo going, and I hope it’s okay that I borrowed your genius to use in this <3 and doubly hope it's okay that I tagged you in it <33) Also I want to clarify: while they were all in the same class in highschool, this is set post-graduation, imagining a future where they all still hang out. (AU technically I guess haha~) Just making it clear, everyone in this story is meant to be an adult. Picture early 20’s. Characters: G/eto, S/hoko, and G/ojo. Plus a bit of S/atosugu Word Count: 4.1k (whoops-)

(References to swearing in case anyone doesn't like that!)

~~~~~~~

The rules were agreed upon the day before, Geto insisting that they needed to be clear.

Rule #1: You only get one attempt. If you fail, or he manages to avoid/subdue the attempt, it’s over. You don’t get a second try. If you get subpar results, same as before, no second tries. Amendment added by Shoko: number of sneezes only counts from the first couple minutes. If said attempt results in sneezing for the rest of the day, those are not to be counted.

Rule #2: Gojo is not to be informed of this, or asked for assistance of any kind. You cannot ask him for a list of what makes him most sneezy, you must use your knowledge of him to come up with your own methodology. 

And finally, Rule #3: You can only use one method. Said ‘method’ can include multiple inducing tools, so long as they’re considered one ‘attempt’. Ie. Multiple scented candles at once, or a bouquet of flowers are both considered one method. However, flowers and candles at the same time would be considered two. Amendment added by Geto: Helping him along with words doesn’t count as a method, and is therefore fair play. 

With those in place, Geto and Shoko got to work, each with an idea in mind. 

In order to not taint results the attempts will be held three days apart to give Gojo’s nose time to get back to baseline before the next attempt begins. Shoko is up first. Let the games begin! 

~~ Shoko’s Attempt ~~

‘I’m at a disadvantage. I know Gojo, he’s my friend, they both are, but I’ll never know him the way Geto does. He’ll always know more of Gojo’s quirks, especially since they’re so obviously in love. They both deny it, but the looks they share when they think no one can see tells a different story. If not dating, the feeling is at least mutual.’ 

Shoko pauses her musing, letting a smile take over as she waves to the boys, starting her approach with a hand in her bag. ‘Always together, even when I’m not around. I know they care for me, but the bond they share will always be one step deeper.’ Despite this, she has a plan. Earlier she wrote out a list of what she remembers Gojo showing reactions to in the past, eliminating anything less than a full attack. 

‘He’s quite sensitive, it doesn’t take much to set him off, but getting an actual fit from him is a touch more rare. Normally he has quite the exaggerated buildups, long and hitchy, which he makes a lot of noise about, but the actual sneezing is minimal. At least, compared to the results I’m looking for. No, I need something more than a simple sensitivity. If it was Geto I’d blow smoke in his face, but that’d only prompt a minor reaction out of Gojo.’ 

“Hiya Shoko, take a seat! Geto here was just sharing the mochi he bought!”

“I bought it for myself, you just stole half when my back was turned.” 

“Come on, we both know if you put something sweet in front of me I’m gonna eat it.” 

Shoko seats herself next to Gojo, sharing a glance with Geto when he’s distracted by the sweets once more. A darker tone dips into Gojo’s voice as he lets his sunglasses fall so Geto can see his eyes, a mischievous haze clouding them. 

“You knew the risks, now you pay the price.”

“The price being my mochi?”

“Exactly! Now you’re catching on~.”

With that, Gojo grabs another one, laughter bubbling out as Geto attempts, and fails, to smack his hand away. However, before he can pop it in his mouth, he freezes, hand inches from his face. His breath catches, nose twitching. Shoko finds Geto’s eyes darting over to her, and she offers a slight shake of the head. ‘Nope, not my attempt, this is all him.’ Geto starts to speak, eyes flickering back over to Gojo.

“You alri-” 

“heHh-! hah’adJSHhh’iew-! hep’gshh’iew-!”

“Blessings.” 

“Guhhh- thank you.”

Shoko takes her turn to speak, eager to ascertain any possible advantages. ‘If he’s sick his nose will be extra sensitive, and I may be able to cinch this win. Especially given Geto needing to wait three days, ideally the window of sensitivity will have passed.’ 

“Feeling okay?” 

“Indeed. This is just the price I must pay for being so talented- huEH’djZShh’uu-! I can't be perfect in every aspect, that would just be unfair!”

“Come again?”

Geto rolls his eyes, gesturing to the sky as he turns his gaze back to Shoko once more. Gojo meanwhile wipes a few tears from his cheeks, groaning lightly at the quickly increasing watery nature of his eyes. 

“He’s just allergic to the sun.” 

“I am not allergic- I’m just a tad sensitive to bright lights. Christ this is annoying.”

“Was the mochi really worth it?”

“Suguru Geto, don’t you talk like that! Mochi is always worth it!”

The eagerness has quickly faded out, Shoko letting an airy sigh press out between her pursed lips. ‘Right, I did know about this. I believe it’s called a photic sneeze response? He’s had it for as long as I’ve known him, though I believe he said it’s gotten worse the more he wears those glasses. Blocking out the light so much of the time only adds to his sensitivity when it inevitably breaks through. However, it causes very few sneezes, he said the main issue is his eyes watering.’

“If you touch the last piece I’m making you buy me a new one.”

“Aw- that’s not faiiiir!” 

“Boys, boys, let’s not fight. I have a better solution.”

With that, Shoko swipes the last piece, grinning at the complaints from the guys as she places it against her tongue, savouring the sweet taste. Her mind dips back to her plan as Gojo starts to whine about being hungry again. 

‘He’s incredibly sensitive, even the mention of sneezing is enough to get his nose itchy. Describing how much it must tickle is fair game, but on its own, pretty ineffective. He’s annoyingly good at holding back when he wants to be, so if he catches on that sneezing is what I want, he’ll do everything in his power not to. I just need him to think I’m teasing him for his reaction, can’t let him read deeper into my motives.’ 

“Shoko?” 

“Hm?”

Her name pulls her back into the conversation, both Geto and Gojo watching her closely, a lopsided grin spreading across Gojo’s mouth. ‘Oh, I’m going to enjoy wiping that smug look off his pretty-boy face.’  Gojo speaks up again, Geto’s eyes following her movements as she casually lets her hand dip back into her bag. 

“I was asking if you’d want to come with us to the mall, DiverCity specifically? I’ve been craving chocolates that they sell at one of the stores for days.” 

“Funny you mention it, I was just thinking about that place earlier. I’d love to come, but I have an assignment. Next time though, yeah?”

“Aw fiiiine, but Geto, you’re still coming, right?”

“Sure, why not. I could use a few things.” 

Shoko tunes out again, hand tightening around a bottle as she lets a smirk spread across her face. ‘Funny he mentions the mall, seeing as that’s exactly where I got my method from.’ The last time they’d gone together she’d been showing him around a store he’d never been to before. It specializes in calming methods, and given how stressful being a Jujutsu sorcerer can be, she finds herself drawn there often.

An employee next to them had been showing a few people a new pillow spray, and as soon as they’d spritzed it, Gojo had been bent over into his arm with a rapid fit. She’d had to drag him out of the store. ‘Quite embarrassing at the time, especially given how whiny he can get during an attack, but now? Now I’ll get to use that spray to get payback.’ 

“Hey, Gojo.”

She cuts into their conversation with ease, used to interrupting them. ‘With those two, someone is always talking. If you wait for a pause, you’ll never get a word in.’ Gojo turns to her with a curious look, across the blanket Geto mimics it, a hint of something deeper flashing through his eyes. She gives him a quick nod, smirk quickly spreading across his face as he attempts to cover it. 

“You know how I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping recently? I found a new spray that has been really helping. I thought you might want to have a look at it, I know you sometimes struggle with insomnia too.”

“Oh, that’s kind of you, yeah show me- show me- show me!” 

‘Kind isn’t quite the word I’d use, but I appreciate your excitement anyways.’ Pulling it from her bag, she’s unsurprised at the lack of recognition in his eyes. He’s never been one for cataloging irrelevant information, and for some reason he’d decided keeping a list of everything that sets him off was irrelevant.

Taking off the cap, she gives him an open smile, before spraying it right in front of his face. ‘Can’t risk actually hitting him, that would be too suspicious, but I want it to get as close to his nose as possible.’ The result, much to her delight, is instantaneous. 

“hhaHhHH-! Wh- whAhht- what kind of sp- spra… sprayisthat… heH’gnDZShh’uuhh-!”

“Something wrong?”

“I think I’m- eH’GNDZSHh’uu-! I think- heHASIhh’oo-! ah’gehhzshh’iew-!”

“Are you okay?” 

Geto’s watching carefully, Shoko’s sure he’s keeping count in his head. Still, needing Gojo to believe her facade, she offers sympathy, pulling a travel pack of tissues out of her bag. ‘Tissues that just so happen to be sprayed with the allergen. Still only counts as one method, according to the rules.’

“Y- yeah- hAgzshh’uu-! knDzshh’iee-! Oh, scus- scuseme- heHhh-!”

“Here, take these, you sound like you need them.”

“Th… thhhehHh- thank you- hH’GUHzshh’oo-! aiYISHH’oo-! aHH’DNGZSHh’uu-! Oh god…” 

“Blessings, Gojo.”

Finally speaking up, Geto catches Shoko’s eye and mouths ‘nine’. She shoots back a whispered ‘so far’, catching a smile in response. Gojo’s too busy tearing into the pack of tissues to notice any of this, bringing one to his nose as he gets a pause in the sneezing. He manages to blow, breathing a sigh of relief, instantly cut short by an itchy inhale. 

“heAHh-! hH’DnZShh’uu-! AYISHH’oo-! KETZSHHH’oo-! What the- henGT-! ainGT’shoo-!”

“Blessings indeed, Gojo. Are you alright?”

“The ti- tihhhckle- heH’kNGDT-! haAHh-! eh’dnZZShh’oo-! Scuse me- the tickle got wo- wo… worse… I’m… I’m gonna… heHh-!” 

Shoko smirks as the tears start pooling in Gojo’s eyes, his nose quivering as it starts to flush a brilliant shade of pink. ‘Time to implement phase two: suggestions. Just gotta be careful not to tip my hand. He’s attempting to stifle, which will only help, it only makes the tickle stronger.’

“You must be allergic to the spray, I’m so sorry, I had no idea!”

“heH-! hh’gndJSHH’uu-! AIYShhh’iew-! heH’DJZSHh’uu-!”

“Oh, bless you. Sounds really itchy, are yo-” 

“hH’DJEZSHh’aa-! Sh- Shoko- waaitt… ahh’keTShh’oo-!” 

“-you feeling it? The burning sensation-” 

“eh’GnDJZSH’aahh-! hAHh’inGKt-!”

“-filling your sinuses? Like a feather, gen-"

“nGEHT’choo-! hePt’choo-! eNgEHP’choo-!”

“-gently brushing the inside of your nose?” 

“heAIISHH’uhh-! eh’GdJZShh’uu-! I need… I’m gonna… I can’t…!”

Geto gives her a pointed look, lightly tapping his wrist. ‘Time’s almost up, time for the home stretch. Gotta make sure I get one last fit outta him. I know exactly what to say.’ Gojo’s nose is pressed into his wrist, trembling with allergic need as the tears keep flowing down his cheeks, seemingly making the tickle even worse as they brush up against the edges of his nose.

“I’m so sorry, Gojo. If I’d have known you were this allergic I never would have sprayed it so close to your nose! I mean, the droplets must have just floated through the air, gently landing on your skin, right on the tip of your nose-”

“Cru- Cruel Shoko- hEH’EDZSHH’uu-! eh’KTZSHhh’aa-! aiYISHH-keATzhh’oo-!” 

With that, Shoko meets Geto’s eyes one last time, mouthing ‘how many?’, quite satisfied by the ‘thirty-two’ she receives in return. Her satisfaction only rises as Gojo ducks into his arm with another tightly stifled burst, Geto raising an eyebrow at the display.

“hH’KNGt’choo-! iNGt’choo-! hah’DNGt’choo-!”

“Blessings, Gojo.”

“Snff- Thank you, Geto. Guhhh… I’m gonna be itc- itchy… hh’GNZshh’iew-! for the rest of the day.” 

Shoko pulls the tissues from Gojo’s lap while his focus is aimed towards Geto, replacing them with a second pack from her bag. ‘As fun as it is to watch you suffer, my attempt is over, no need to prolong the exposure. This reaction is gonna last for most of the day anyways.’ 

“Blow again, it might help dispel some of the allergen.”

“Yeah, good- eh’aISHH’uu-! good idea. Ya know, that may help you sleep, but I’m- heHh-! hEZSHHH’aa-! I’m getting the vague notion it wouldn’t do the same for me.” 

Geto laughs, a smile tearing through Gojo’s itchy face at the sound, Shoko soon joining in. ‘Always one step removed, just outside the joke, but that’s okay. At least for now, I’m in on the joke while Gojo isn’t. I can live with that.’

Final Results: Thirty-Two (32) sneezes from Shoko’s Attempt. Method Use/Application: Linen spray Gojo is allergic to, sprayed in front of face/on tissues presented to him. Sneezy talk was also implemented, increasing success. 

~~ Geto’s Attempt ~~

‘Shoko’s try yielded better results then I was counting on. I may know more about Gojo but some facts escape even my grasp. I had no idea he was so allergic to that spray. However, that wasn’t what set her apart, it’s her cunning. She explained to me after that she sprayed it on the tissues. Truly genius, I would’ve never thought of that.’ 

This time it’s Geto’s turn to approach the duo, eyes closing as he smiles, Gojo giving a shout and Shoko putting out her cigarette. ‘I guess she doesn’t want to be called out for interference. It’s no matter, I don’t plan on letting anything distract me from my attempt. I didn’t have to think long about what to use, just how to best utilize it.’ 

“Geto! Shoko was just telling me about a new type of chocolate she saw the other day! Can we go buy some? Pleaaaase? Pretty please?”

“You still owe me for the last pack I bought you.”

“Aw, come on, you know you wannaaa~! You don’t wanna deny me of my happiness, do you?”

“You can have happiness without chocolates, Gojo.”

“How could you say such things?”

Gojo lets a pout spread over his face, lightly huffing as he leans his head against Geto’s shoulder. ‘Dramatic as always. Though, I guess that’s the reason we came up with this little challenge in the first place. One I’m sure to win with what I have planned.’ His mind starts to drift back to the first time he got to witness Gojo and lavender in the same room. 

They’d been in a meeting together, the higher ups needing something Geto can’t recall now. It’s not of importance, even at the time it was one of the last things on his mind. Front and center was Gojo’s losing battle against the vase of lavender sitting almost mocking him on the table.

Normally, should the situation call for it, Gojo could hold off an allergy attack for hours, or at least upwards of twenty minutes. However, against the lavender he lasted no more than three, needing to leave the room just after seven because he was no longer able to form full words between the sneezing. The higher ups had been quite irritated, but today it would serve Geto well.

“Earth to Geto? Suuuguruuu? You there?”

“Huh?”

“Jeez, what is it with you two lately? Did I miss something, or is it just ‘stare off into the abyss with a smile creeping at your mouth’ season?”

“Sorry, I was just reminiscing.”

“Any particular memory you want to share, Geto?”

Shoko offers, eyes flashing with mischief as Geto sends a dark look in her direction, quickly replaced by a smile as she playfully sticks out her tongue.

“Not at the moment.”

“Oh, I know! Why don’t we play ‘share your favourite memory of Gojo’!” 

“Yeah, no.”

“Aw Shoko, you’re no fun.”

Geto chuckles, ruffling Gojo’s hair as he gazes up from behind his sunglasses. ‘Just placing the lavender near him wouldn’t work. He could either leave the area, or the attack might not surpass thirty-two. The reason it had such a severe effect in the meeting was likely do to the pollen having a chance to gather in that tiny room.’

“Gojo, I have a gift for you.”

“A gift? You shouldn’t have!” 

“Well if you don’t want i-”

“Hey, woah-woah-woah- of course I want it-!”

Reaching into his bag, Geto starts to set his plan in motion. ‘My best chance is getting some form of lavender where I can get it near his nose, close enough for the pollen to have a chance to float around him, but not obvious enough that he’ll just avoid it. I think this is the perfect solution.’

Making direct eye contact with Shoko, Geto sends her a message clearly. ‘My attempt is about to begin, get ready’. His hands grip around the present, placing it gently on Gojo’s head, fighting a smirk at the joy filling Gojo’s eyes.

“A flower crown!?” 

“Yes. You showed me how to make them a while back, and so I made this one myself. I thought you might appreciate it-”

“Suguru… I love it! What kind of flowers are these?”

“Mostly sakura, though I did add a few other plants I found in the area to tie it together.” 

‘If I just used lavender he’d simply take it off when he started sneezing. However, given that it’s not a type of flower he’s allergic to, it won’t be his first thought. Because of that, he’ll be too focused on sneezing to worry about removing it, letting the hidden lavender keep sending wafts of pollen down into his face. Plus, I made sure the sakura was quite pollen soaked. He’s not allergic, but with his nose already being set off from the lavender, the sickly sweet smell is sure to prompt a few extra sneezes.’  

“It’s bea- hEHh-! Oh, scuse me. It’s beautiful.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just thou- ahHh-! Hehh… thought I was… o- oh… I am…. I’m- hH’DjZEShh’oo-!”

“Blessings, Satoru.” 

“iHh’kETChh’uu-! S- sorry I… eH’DtjZSh’iew-! hEh’kezzchh-aiyshhh’aa-knGT’choo-!”

“And again.” 

A glance over to Shoko tells Geto she’s keeping track, fingers tapping against the railing she’s leaning on with every sneeze. Gojo lets out a faint whine, hand coming up to scrub at his nose as tears start dripping from his eyes.

“hH’GNt’choo-! ehH-! Ohfuck- hH’NGT-EINGT-nNGT-knDT’choo-! aINGT’choo-! hAH’DJZSHHEW-!”

“Christ, Satoru, bless you.”

“knngT-! aIghNT’choo-! hH’YEZSHH’aa-! AIYShh’oo-! neH’GEDT’choo-!”

Geto risks another look at Shoko, barely containing his smirk at the dumbfounded expression she’s wearing as Gojo frantically fans his face. ‘I haven’t even started talking about the tickle yet. He’s more allergic than I remembered. I almost feel bad…’ His thoughts are cut off by Gojo pressing his rapidly twitching nose into Geto’s shoulder, hitching against the fabric of his shirt. ‘And that’s why it’s only almost.’

“henGT’choo-! hH’DEHgnT’choo-!”

“You should stop that, you’re not-”

“heH’KNDTZSHH’uhh-! ihh’GNXXZT’choo-!”

“-gonna be able to catch a breath.”

“You- you’re right… Suguru it- it tihhhhckles… hEaHh-! AIYZSZHH’uu-! kuh’MMZSHH’aa-!”

Gojo’s voice is muffled from the congestion already seeping through the cracks, and Geto feels a pang of guilt tear at his heart. It’s quickly replaced by something calmer as Gojo aims the next fit at Geto’s chest, flower crown shaking lightly as he ducks his head, only releasing more pollen. ‘Sorry Satoru, but this is well deserved. Time for a little power of suggestion.’ 

“aH’GnZH’euu-! hehHh-! hH’MMZSHHH’oo-!” 

“Blessings. Those sound quite itchy-” 

“emmpffshh’oo-! hEPT’choo-! ehP’choo-!”

“-don’t they? Something bothering your sensitive-” 

“hHMPPT’choo-! AInGT’choo-! S- Suguru- hNGT’choo-! heH’KDZGT’choo-!”

“-nose? I bet it’s tickling something awful, isn’t it?” 

Meeting Gojo’s watery eyes, Geto lets himself slip right into stage three of his plan, time quickly running out. ‘Knowing him, he should be sensitive enough by now that just the word sneeze will set him off. Let’s try to get a handful more. I believe I’ll win anyways, but better safe than sorry.’

“eNGXXT’choo-!”

“Don’t you just-” 

“hepDT’choo-!”

“-have to…”

“hAhHh-!”

“Sneeze so badly?”

“hAH’ADJZSHH’uu-! keTSCHH’aa-! AIYZSHH’uhh-!”

“Blessings again for those sneezes.”

“I kn- know what…. Ohgod- hEH’EDZSHHEW-! guhhH’DNZSHH’oo-! I know what you’re doing.”

“Doing? I’m simply blessing you as you sneeze.”

“AIYZSHH’oo-! hH’GNkZSHH’uhh-!”

Taking pity on him as Shoko mouths ‘time’s up’, Geto pulls the crown from Gojo’s hair, tossing it to the side as the sneezy man ducks into his arm for another fit. ‘Whoops… maybe I should have removed it a bit sooner…’

“iNGt’choo-! heASHH’oo-! kEtCSHh-aizshh-kezZSHH’uu-!”

“Bless you Satoru…”

“You- hEHnGT’choo-! Sound quite gui- guilty- eh’knSHH’uhh-! Guilty, Suguru. Why ever could- hh’gEZSHH’aa-! Christ… Could that be? Wouldn’t have any-hNGSHH’iew-! Anything to do with my having two allergy attacks in the past four days, would it?” 

Geto’s eyes snap to the floor, a warm tint starting to spread across his cheeks, Shoko chuckling as she lightly pats Gojo’s back, letting her eyes close with a slight huff.

“I think he’s caught us, Geto.” 

“I believe so.” 

“hNNSCHh’iew-! Would someone care to explain to me what’s going on exactly?”

“Of course, but first we should probably get you some allergy medication. There was lavender in the flower crown.”

Gojo’s watery glare meets Geto, his mouth hanging open. ‘Probably less from shock and more for the sake of breathing. I doubt much is flowing through his sinuses right about now.’ Geto can’t help but smile at the sight, pink nose vibrating as Gojo attempts to end the attack by pinching it shut, tears streaming from his gorgeous eyes. ‘If he wasn’t so miserable, I’d want to see this side of him more often, he’s quite adorable like this.’

“I want to be mad bu- knDJZSSH’uu-! But I proooobably deserved this.”

Laughter erupts from the group, Shoko nearly falling over as it bursts from her chest, Geto pulling Gojo closer as they start walking back into the school, explaining the competition to a still sneezing Gojo.

Shoko leads them to her office where she keeps a stash of medications for situations like this. ‘Well, not exactly like this,’ Geto chuckles to himself, ‘I doubt there’s even been a situation quite like this one. Oh, that reminds me-’

“Say, Shoko, I did win, didn’t I? Even not counting-”

“hHNGTshh’aa-!”

“-the bonus ones?”

“Unfortunately, yes. It’s not like I stood a chance in the first place, you two obviously know more about each other.”

“Actually, I didn’t know he was allergic to that spray. That was all you.”

“Huh, really? Interesting. Oh- I guess you want to know the numbers?”

Geto flashes a smile, eyes wrinkling as Gojo whips around with another small fit aimed at the floor. He nods at Shoko, murmuring a blessing against Gojo’s hair as he convulses. 

“heh’gnZSHhh’oo-! eh’kshhh’iew-! heHh-! hAH’DTZShhh’uu-!”

“Again, not counting the extras, you rang in at forty-two. Exactly ten more than mine, surprisingly enough.”

“Oh Christ, that wasn’t counting the ones I- hH’gnZZShh’aa-! I’m still doing?”

A blush spreads across Gojo’s face, one of the strongest sorcerers in the Jujutsu world apparently not immune to embarrassment. Shoko offers a laugh in response, rummaging through her desk until she finds a blister pack, handing it over. Geto grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, passing it to Gojo with another blessing, lightly cupping his face for just a second.

“I saw that, ya know.” 

This time both men blush, Shoka rolling her eyes playfully, then throwing a box of tissues at Geto. Gojo hastily yanks out a handful, blowing his nose with a deep groan before sniffling into the pile.

“Clean him up, will ya? It’s been a long day, I’m headed home.”

“hH’AieZSHH’uu-!”

“Let’s play again some time, shall we, Shoko?”

“Yes, let’s. Next time I’ll beat you for sure.”

“hAH’ZASHH’oo-! How ‘bout next time it’s a free for all? I’d like a little chance for revenge.”

“This was the revenge, Satoru. Ours.”

“Oh fine, but you two owe me some chocolates! Oh- oh, and mochi!” 

Shoko smacks Gojo upside the head as Geto lets a laugh burst from his chest, the other two soon joining in harmony.

The world outside may be a dangerous place for a Jujutsu sorcerer, and the three of them aren’t immune to the stress, but right here, right now, they’re just three friends sharing a laugh.

Final Results: Forty-Two (42) sneezes from Geto’s Attempt. Method Use/Application: Lavender hidden in a flower crown already dripping with sakura pollen. Also used suggestibility, increasing success with sneezy talk.

[daffodil-screaming]

these are such an interesting question, i lowkey wanna send u like 20 of them. anyway. 83, 56, 40

83. Who was your first kiss with?

I guess there are a few answers to this, but I’m going to go with what felt to me like my first real kiss. It was with my first girlfriend when I was 14/15. It was incredible. We had been dating for close to four months at that point and I was too much of a bottom coward to initiate anything. it’s so weird looking back life felt so huge and serious and having a perfect kiss and doing it right felt so important i just… never had the courage until one day I did. And god it was absolutely mind blowing. I remember clearly my lips were numb and tingly for a good ten minutes afterwards and my body felt like it was filled with fireworks. She said it was “fine” lol. We broke up about a week later and she did some horrible stuff that I won’t get into now, but yeah. It was a good first kiss, even if I didn’t kiss anyone for four years after that.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Oh god umm okay-

-I have really tiny baby wrists compared to the rest of me 😭 why are they so fragile? I have no idea. It’s made for some play tho and my flawless flirting move “hey I bet you can’t fit both of my wrists in your hands” and then they do and I desire them carnally

- one of my legs is half an inch longer than the other

-much to my wife’s delight, you can slap my thigh and it will make my boobs jiggle and vice versa, I have “S tier jiggle physics” as she would say

-since I started birth control my nipples have got sooooo sensitive I really think I could cum just from having them sucked on

-I can fit an 8inch dildo in my ass comfortably but sometimes my cunt is so tight I struggle to fit a finger

-sometimes my joints randomly dislocate

-my hair wants to be naturally curly sooooo bad but I cannot seem to tame it. I cannot make it behave so I normally wear it in plaits

- my eyesight is so bad the optician once gave me a leaflet he normally gives to over 60s

THATS 8 not so sexy facts about my body

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Oh god this is so embarrassing but yes, I write a lot of poetry and occasionally songs. I’ve never written a song for someone but I’ve written many poems a lot of which are inspired by people, only a couple of them have ever had a poem written specifically for them tho 😅 letting someone read my poetry is like a blood bond to me lol

[perfectharmonyloveschaos]

I stumbled upon this video of the Filoni & Favreau interview that came out for The Mandalorian Season 3 [here is the link to the interview] that people have tried to reference towards 'supporting' the idea of Sabine being force sensitive and it made me realise something. Neither of them actually say anything about her being force-sensitive. They never mention it. Take note to what they both say exactly:

Favreau: "That's not necessarily true. Yeah, it doesn't happen that often. Although I would argue that Sabine is maybe a little bit of both." Filoni: "I dunno if I'd call her a Jedi though. The interesting question is how you define when someone is a Jedi."

Now, what does this snippet actually tell us? Favreau himself sees Sabine as being a little bit both Mandalorian and Jedi, assumingly due to her being trained by both Mandalorians and Jedi. While Filoni argues that and questions if she'd qualify to be considered a Jedi. He explicitly brings up deliberately, the concept of questioning what makes someone a Jedi. How do you define what being a Jedi means? Now, most people tend to see it as being someone who was trained by a Jedi in the way of the Jedi order, wields a lightsaber, and uses the force. But Filoni, without needing to, tries to make people question that.

And I think this will definitely play into Ahsoka and how Sabine has been portrayed.

I don't think Sabine is force-sensitive.

She was never hinted at or shown to possess any force abilities within the show (sensing people/knowing things before they happen, super-human reflexes) and she spent years around two Jedi both of whom were able to sense other force sensitives easily enough. People try to say that Kanan claiming she's too "Mandalorian" during the Trials of the Darksaber was hinting at Sabine locking herself out of the force as in that she was force-sensitive but somehow blocking herself from those abilities subconsciously, however, that makes no sense since the context of the scene is based totally on her, like Din Djarin during the Book of Boba Fett, being unable to properly wield the Darksaber due to her emotions and hesitancy. Her fears and guilt was stopping the force that exists all around her from naturally flowing through her and into the darksaber, hindering her from wielding it properly. How could she block herself from the force to the point where she shows no signs of it, and yet Kanan notices it and does nothing about it before the Darksaber incident? Do people really think Kanan wouldn't have sensed and tried to train Sabine earlier? That Ezra wouldn't have brought up her force sensitivity after this? And even if he was referring to her being locked out of the force, what about after Trials of the Darksaber when she comes to grips with her guilt, or even after Heroes of Mandalore when she makes amends with her family and past? Why wouldn't she show any force sensitivity after that when she assumingly is now free from her "Mandalorian" ties that blocked her force sensitivity? Because it was never about her being force-sensitive, it was about her wielding the Darksaber.

They could have hinted at Sabine being force-sensitive multiple times throughout the show but never did. No other force-users ever take notice of her. She cannot sense the Kyber crystal in Season 4, but Ezra does sense it much like Kanan sensed the other kyber crystal back in Season 1. She never shows any heightened abilities, senses or reflexes compared to even early Season 1 Ezra who himself was blocked off from the force and struggled to connect or train due to his trauma, and yet still showed signs of his force-sensitivity. We even had Kanan who blocked himself off from the force and yet was still able to be sensed by an untrained Ezra during the pilot. The idea that Kanan, Ezra, or even Ahsoka during the short time she spent with the Ghost Crew, never noticed Sabine's force sensitivity but somehow Ahsoka does post-Rebels is quite frankly ridiculous and somewhat insulting to the bond she had with Kanan and Ezra.

So, what does this have to do with the question Filoni referenced in his interview?

I think it is a hint towards a major point being addressed in Ahsoka: how do you define what makes someone a Jedi?

Our three major Jedi-orientated characters (Ahsoka, Sabine, and Ezra) all portray the different ways someone can be a Jedi without fitting the traditional standard of Jedi. Ahsoka has the force, left the Jedi Order, claims she isn't a Jedi anymore despite following their teachings and wields a lightsaber. Ezra has the force, was taught by Kanan who never finished his training, doesn't follow the entire Jedi code due to his dabblings with the dark side and allowing a level of attachment to his crew and homeworld but still considers himself a Jedi. And Sabine is someone who is learning the Jedi teachings, was taught by a Jedi to wield a lightsaber but doesn't have the force.

They can all be considered Jedi.

Even Sabine, who doesn't have the force.

Because the force doesn't make you a Jedi.

What people don't mention is that in that same interview, Filoni actually says what he believes defines a Jedi. He says:

"The Jedi is a way of training. It's a way of philosophy and being."

Notice that Filoni never mentions the force or being force-sensitive. Another interesting thing to note is that he brings up Jedi being a "way of training" first and foremost, something that is extremely relevant now with all the information we have gotten about Ahsoka training Sabine. Each of these criteria that Filoni mentions is relevant to Sabine, all without making her suddenly force-sensitive. This seems intentional given that Ahsoka had already finished filming by the time this interview was published.

This is the point Filoni is actually trying to get across while misdirecting people in the trailer. After all, why put so much emphasis on Sabine in all the trailers and especially draw attention to her wielding the lightsaber, while also having Shin state "You have no power"? Shin doesn't consider Sabine a Jedi because she isn't force-sensitive.

Filoni would never give something so important away in the trailers. Look at how secretive they've been about basically everything concerning Ahsoka up until this point. His desire to keep things secret has been referenced by Rosario Dawson herself and many of the cast are very careful in interviews to avoid giving anything away. Filoni would never have given such a big twist away so obviously. Plus, if this was some major tease about Sabine being force-sensitive, then Filoni would've had the question taken out of the interview. Nothing in the trailer actually shows Sabine having the force, but that doesn't mean Ahsoka can't teach her to be a Jedi without it.

I do not think that Sabine isn't force-sensitive, but rather that it's a huge misdirect to hide the overarching concept that is going to be challenged through Ahsoka—what defines a Jedi?

[kaelsleftverdantsphere]

Emotional damage

What if Illidan found out about Kael's plans before he left for the Tempest Keep

---

"You have no idea what you're dealing with, Kael'thas..." The demon hunter said, watching his companion.

"I know exactly what I'm dealing with..." Kael smiled and looked away. "I've known you for a while now, Illidan."

"You think so? The time you've known me for means nothing-"

"-compared to the time you spent in that one filthy room... I know all of your sob stories by now. I know all of you..." He touched the demon hunter's chest. "And I will use that knowledge to my advantage."

"I wonder, Kael'thas... how we would be under different circumstances..." He buried one of his clawed hands in the prince's long hair and pulled it, which was followed by a whine from the smaller elf. "If I didn't find out about your little plans... If you didn't have them in the first place. I always thought you were a smart one, Sunstrider..."

Kael'thas laughed and traced his nails over the tattoos on Illidan's chest. "Are you the one who should judge me, darling, truly?" He giggled. "I am not the one they call the betrayer after all, am I..."

"You might as well be..." Illidan growled, pulling Kael's hair, hard. "I trusted you..."

"Ow, Belore, Illidan... Stop, you're making me blush-"

"You're impossible!" Illidan let go of his hair and just looked over Kael's room, thinking of what his next course of action should be. "I can't believe that you would... you would side with an enemy-"

"Of course I would! You aren't delivering on your promises and I had to make a choice! I won't let my people suffer just so that I can stay with you, you cannot possibly expect that from me..."

"I am trying, Kael'thas! I am doing everything in my power to defeat the legion and all you do is whine and SIDE WITH THE ENEMY?"

"But defeating the legion is not what I asked you for, Illidan... I provided you people, power and help to achieve your goals if you help me... And you didn't uphold your side of the bargain."

"You are nothing but a selfish little brat, I shouldn't have ever agreed to working with you..."

Kael smirked. "And what if I am? You still fell madly for me, Illidan..." He said, with that soft little voice he usually used to lull the other to sleep. With not a hint of venom or a bite, yet still piercing.

"You are a stupid child, Kael'thas... I can't believe I could've ever felt anything but distaste towards you." Illidan's own voice was strong and he himself was determined to not let the other elf get inside his head. "I should have known what kind of a person you are just based on Dath'remar being your ancestor..."

"Oh so now you're going to talk about my family? Do you want me to remind you about yours?" The bite was back in full force and Illidan could tell that he did touch a sensitive spot within the prince.

"Mine? There's nothing you could possibly dig up that could hurt me... I had years to mourn and years to accept... You did not have that luxury, have you, Kael? Tell me..." Illidan smiled and grabbed the blood elf by the chin, holding it up as to see into his eyes perfectly. "Do you miss your father?"

Kael stood there, unmoving for a moment, but his eyes couldn't lie.

"You miss him, don't you?" Illidan lightly stroke his cheek with his other hand. "He could have been here, do you know that? If you only weren't so selfish and actually were there with him..."

"Shut your foul mouth!" Kael took a step back, tripping and falling onto his couch. "You have no idea how all of that went down!"

"Oh but I know, little strider... I know... And do you know who told me?" Illidan took a few steps to the couch, placed his hands on Kael's shoulders and lowered his face to his. "You did..." He whispered. "You argued about how you know me but oh no, prince... I know you-"

"You don't know shit, demon!" He could feel his insides boiling when he attempted to slap Illidan, but the other's hand was noticibly faster.

"Oh... Do you wish for this to get physical? Do you really want your life to end that quickly, love?" He was holding the other's wrist. "I will crush every single one of the bones in your pretty body if you continue acting like a pest-"

"And I will kill you, Stormrage..." He reached his other hand up to Illidan's head and grabbed one of his horns, pulling it. "I will be the end of you..."

"What?" The demon hunter couldn't help but laugh. "Like you killed your own mother-?"

Kael's mouth opened, he was positively shocked. "H- How dare you say that!"

"How dare me? How dare you think you would be even remotely able to hurt me..." He straightened his back, pulling Kael up from the couch. "See... I won't kill you-"

"Because you are a coward!" The prince spat.

"A coward? No... I won't kill you, because making you watch the lives, of those you care so deeply about, shatter... That will be much better for the both of us..."

"What... What are you talking about?"

"I'll make you watch as your troops die on the battlefield... Slow, desperate and powerless without your much needed mana..." The demon hunter laughed. "As you will be shaking and begging for me to kill you..."

"You cannot do that!" Kael lost his grip on the horn and instead used that hand to try to set his wrist free. "You can't just imprison a prince, if you don't know that-"

"And just who is going to fight me to set you free?" He tightened his grip. "Noone will come looking for you... Noone will care, when I tell them you've betrayed them..."

Kael'thas' eyes widened. "You... Illidan... You- you wouldn't do that... Not to me-"

"Oh? You think I wouldn't? Just how I thought you wouldn't betray me?"

"I didn't mean to!" He cried. "Illidan I didn't- I might have- I might have fucked up, okay- but-"

"Oh... Lying to save your ass? Your father would not be proud of you doing that, would he?"

"He wouldn't be proud of a lot of things I had to do..." Kael stopped struggling against Illidan. "He would be disgusted if he saw that I joined forces with you... And he would be even more disgusted if he knew I fell in love with you..."

"You didn't, Kael'thas... You don't hurt people you love..."

"Then how come you got to hurt Tyrande?"

"I never hurt her-"

"Why do they call you the betrayer then? You betrayed the ones you love yet you still argue your actions were justified-"

"You know nothing-" Illidan shook his head and let go of the prince's wrist.

"I actually know a lot, darling..." He said, rubbing his wrist. "How come you get to hurt me but when I hurt you, it's not the same..."

"Because you are the one who-"

"-who betrayed you? I BARELY EVEN DID ANYTHING YET!"

"But you were planning to! I cannot forgive you for that! It's still treason!"

"I had my reasons just as much as you had yours all those years ago... You should be the one who understands me, not the one who threatens to ruin everything I fought for up until this point-"

"You want my understanding? After everything I've done for you, after everything I gave you- you still want more?"

"I just... I only want my people to know peace again..." Kael's voice broke slightly at the end of sentence. "I want to know peace again, Illidan... And I didn't see any other solution..."

"I was your solution, Kael'thas... I just couldn't only work in your best interest... Sometimes you have to put some things on hold..."

"But we don't have the time to be put on hold, Illidan... I am unwell and the more I fight in your name the worse I get- all of this is killing me and you don't want to help me... Yet you want to tell me I am the one betraying you? You're so incredibly dense-"

"I am trying, Kael'thas!"

"That's what I'm doing as well! Listen to me!"

"There was never a moment when I wouldn't be listening to you, love..."

"I know of so many moments like those, but of course, you are never the one to blame for anything..."

"That is untrue... I know of my wrongdoings and I am trying to correct them... Unlike you."

"Yes, Illidan... Because the only thing I am doing is surviving-"

[9mt7vcoec0snpczpztn9m5foxwjtis2p]

Not sure if I can say anything specifically unique to trans men and trans mascs that wouldn't apply also to other trans people, but some experiences I've had that mostly other trans men/mascs seem to relate to as well:

- My mother seeing me as an extension of herself or as her younger self. I am unable to so much as cut my hair (let alone do anything else to transition) without a fiasco because she will take it personally, and she can't understand why I want to do anything with my body because "[she] wouldn't want to do that to [herself]". This got 100x worse after I tried coming out to her. I am a full grown adult and have to hide anything I do from her now.

- Reproductive care is touchy. I would consider the idea of being a seahorse dad once I'm married, but the way pregnant men are treated puts me off from that forever even if I had the ability to hide from the public eye throughout.

- by the way, I really hate how bottom surgery is demonized. Phallo is not remotely anything like the fearmongering about it that I used to believe about how dangerous and bad it was. This isn't a transmasc specific issue really but I still want to slip that in there because I've seen phallo specifically so bashed on compared to other types of trans masculine bottom surgery. I'm not sure what discussion is like for vaginoplasties or orchiectomies etc.

- People just don't know what trans men are. I tried to come out to my parents and they don't know much about trans issues, so the only point of perspective they had were stereotypes of trans women. Preliminary research immediately led my mom into TE/RF and gend/er criticaI spaces explaining the 'trans menace on our poor daughters'. I know similar things happen to trans women whose parents/people they come out to don't know much about transness in general and decide to do their own research.

- I can't DIY my HRT because it's a controlled substance and I cannot risk purchasing testosterone off of the gray market due to where my life is at right now and the type of job I hold - getting caught would throw all that into disarray.

- I would lose some of my scholarships and recognition I've been afforded for being a "woman in (my degree field)" because they do not offer anything for men, and that includes trans men for once.

- I don't even remotely pass and I've barely so much as socially transitioned, but I've noticed some of my peers who I did come out to immediately started treating me more distantly and are more sensitive to any perceived or real aggression from me.

- I've been subject to "all men suck" and "men shouldn't get to do x" and "why do men have (this privilege)" and "you should count yourself lucky to have (this privilege)" type of comments regardless of the fact 99.99% of society sees me as a woman because I'm out to very few people and pre-everything. I don't magically have male privilege in any way shape or form, not even within the queer community where I actually am recognized as a man.

❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️

I would like to hear specifically from trans men and trans mascs how the system of [whatever the fuck you call the intersection of transphobia, misogyny, and specifically your gender- whether transandrophobia, isomisogny, antitransmasculinity, transandromisia, transmisandry, or any that I have missed as there are a lot of words to describe similar concepts] uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.

This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all non-trans-mascs to not speak on this topic and let trans mascs and trans men do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.

Any and all people who identify as trans men and/or trans mascs are encouraged to participate.

This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.

Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.

[manmetaphysical]

Today is the birthday of Jeff Buckley so to commemorate that, here is an excerpt from the article I wrote in 2019.

"Jeff Buckley: The Secret Chord that Pleased the Lord'' Part 1

There is some profoundly archetypal message in the lives and deaths of Tim and Jeff Buckley, father and son who never knew each other. They both sang with a heightened intense emotion, a poetry of song that transcends the usual. They both had the power to catalyse emotions in the audience; they were both magnetically alluring to those who came into their orbs. They both put music above commercial gain and they both died before they achieved their full potential. Tim left Jeff’s mother before Jeff was born in 1966 so he only knew his father through his recorded music. They met once but it was brief. The father, Tim Buckley, a singer-songwriter star in the late sixties and early seventies was an Aquarius born on Valentine’s day, February 14th, 1947; and the son Jeff whose career blossomed for a brief few years in the nineties was born a Scorpio, on 17th November, 1966. These are both ‘fixed’ signs so they were both intensely driven and didn’t give in easily. If Jeff were alive today, he would be 53. I can’t do full justice to this story which deserves longer treatment, but I can hint at the complex parallel signatures in the natal and event charts to cherrypick what pointers the aspects have to reveal.

Jeff Buckley was a highly sensitive and gifted musician, handsome but delicate – some compared him to a wild horse ready to bolt at any moment, somewhat untamed. He was born in the year of the Fire Horse -1966 – said to make those born that year highly strung. He was, as is common of people who observe how Scorpios move, compared to a volcano ready to blast off. He surprised everyone with his voice when he first appeared on stage in New York in the early 1990s at a tribute to Tim Buckley –people gasped that he sounded so like his father. He has the same look and mannerisms. No one had any idea there was a son. Gary Lucas (a double Gemini) worked with Jeff later was the musician who had played with Captain Beefheart. He helped organised the tribute concert. When he first heard the astonishing voice of the young and unknown Jeff, he said that it was no mere imitation, of his father “Jeff was inhabited by the spirit of Tim Buckley.”

Jeff’s voice is different from his father’s but it has that same magical elasticity and was able to soar beyond the notes into some ethereal place other voices simply cannot reach. Jeff played down the comparisons and could get angry when fans asked for Tim’s songs but Gary said that Jeff had the presence of an ‘atomic bomb’ and was ‘on fire’ -this also echoes the Scorpionic twist.

When he produced his one album in 1994 it was called ‘Grace’. This concept clearly meant a great deal to him as he said of it “Grace is what matters in anything, especially life, especially growth, tragedy, pain, love, death. That’s a quality I admire very greatly. It keeps you from reaching for the gun too quickly; it keeps you from destroying things too foolishly and sort of keeps you alive.” Growth, pain, love and death are all straplines of the eighth sign and eighth house matters, said by a true Scorpio sun-sign. He had that quality but it didn’t keep him alive, alas. But there is a story in that too. His eighth house is Pisces, ruled by Neptune and the house guests are Saturn and Chiron sitting together where the wounds are obscured by the grand master (the father?) who would make sexual matters more difficult and intense and leave a scar of abandonment to wrestle with through life. Traditionally, it may also point to a death by water but that is easy to say in hindsight.

The stellium of planets in Scorpio is extremely powerful –not only is the South Node conjunct the IC, but the story starts nebulously with Neptune, then Mercury the Sun and Venus all within five degrees in the last decan of Scorpio ruled by the Moon. This medley of all the ‘art’ and ‘creative’ planets most definitely describes a native blessed with artistic gifts that are positioned in the sign that digs deep in order to have a profound impact. He did just that by getting under people’s skins. You don’t just ‘like’ Jeff Buckley, you love and adore him, or you loathe him; there’s no middle ground. The sign of Taurus, associated with the throat and singing, is on the MC and Jeff quickly became widely known as being a singer of extraordinary range – from angelic to demonic- with delicacy in the high notes. He was a tenor whose voice could manage four octaves but could also do counter tenor. What is also fascinating is that he lacked the drive to become famous, was anti the star-making machine, even though fame rushed upon him.

There is zero Cardinal energy, and for that reason powerful drives to push forward may have had a shadow quality to them, rising up when least expected. He kept record company A&R men dancing around till he was ready. He also had an out of bounds Moon so he broke all the rules and chose to exile himself from ‘stardom.’This Moon opposes Jupiter, so impulsiveness may have ruled him in shifting ways he could not explain. Contradictorily, there is a lot of fixity, as both Sun in Scorpio and Ascendant in Leo are in fixed signs. And if you are worried about the Pluto-Saturn conjunction in January 2020 consider that there are people like Jeff who was born with them in opposition – and his father Tim had Saturn and Pluto conjunct in Leo.

There is a tight rectangle – not the obvious ‘mystic’ type- which has more harmonious aspects, but this one is formed of two sesquiquadrates and two semi-squares that traps in the energy of these to crossed oppositions. There is little in astrological literature said about this formation, but nevertheless it marks out his chart pointing to some tightly concentrated circuit of locked energies. Mars/Uranus sits opposite Saturn/Chiron which points to wanting to fulfill the promise the father failed to fulfill, also pointing to ancestors with the stellium in the fourth house, which could also be his father, Tim Buckley who had a gypsy spirit, troubadour and vagabond, and left a lot of his relationships thinking life was a ‘river’.

Jeff Buckley lived and breathed Qawwali which is the devotional music of the Sufis. Its most renowned singer was Nusrat Fateh Ali Kahn and Jeff adored this style, calling Kahn his ‘Elvis’. It the type of music that has fanatical devotees will to listen and engage for 5-hour long performances. The singing riffs on poetic devices and improvisation that is described as “jumping off a cliff and fluttering towards heaven” and it is clear Jeff attempted to do just this in his performances being open and experimental going to his edge. He had memorized whole quatrains and ghazzals sung in Urdu and treated his audience sometimes to a rendition of Qawwali singing. “In between the world of the flesh and the world of the spirit… the void’ and with Qawwali ‘there is only pure devotion and a fierce virtuosity to grow wings and soar through music.”

Jeff was gifted and it would be enough to point to the conjunction of Neptune, the Sun, Mercury and Venus, but to me he was also a great example of someone touched by the muses, divinely inspired, and the astrology of muse asteroids is a fascinating addition to the astrologer’s colour palette. They dance around in the background. Brad Pitt, who became obsessed with Jeff Buckley, said that listening to him sing and play goes right to the very source of genius- that indefinable place artists seek to reach but Jeff went there effortlessly. He found the chord that pleased the Lord as the lines from ‘Hallelujah’ go. Melpomene, the muse of tragedy is conjunct his Venus and the Sun and he certainly the dark side of life in his music, loss and grief. Calliope, the muse of epic poetry, is conjunct his MC which opposes that same Venus/Sun/Mercury conjunction creating a dramatic tension that played out in his life. Classic emphasis on his sheer artistry as a musician is that Euterpe, the muse of music, is conjunct his Neptune there in Scorpio, just one degree apart.

The qawwali singing represented this seeking to go beyond is evident in his singing which stretched beyond limits in ‘Hallelujah’ (1994) a song with spiritual and transcendent leanings. He owned this rendition making it his own signature song. He extracts every last drop of devotional and spiritual energy out of it. The song was Leonard Cohen’s but Jeff was inspired by John Cale’s version. Neptune conjunct the sun and Venus would add this kind of rapturous beauty to his voice that touches on the sacred. But also the muse asteroids are present. The muse asteroid of sacred music Polyhymnia is bi-quintile his sun. This is so expressive of the sublime tone of which he was capable.

[unsettledink]

An interesting thread on comments and comment culture passed by on my dash, and for some reason it hooked me in. As usual, I started off wanting to say one thing and next thing I know, I'm 4k in with thoughts that everyone wants to hear. Right?

I left most of it on the post, talking about how comments used to be conversations, and how it never feels like people address the vulnerability of leaving a comment when they try and encourage more feedback.

I don't have answers. It's a cultural shift and how do things end up shifting again? Something big like a new platform or a radical change will probably have to appear before things go in a different direction, whatever it may be.

So no, I don't have an answer. I can say what helps me out, personally, when trying to remember why I want to go through the work of leaving a comment:

I write. I know from the other side what comments feel like. I remind myself of the excitement of seeing a notification pop up. (Obviously if you don't write, this doesn't help that much lol.)

Whatever I fear them judging me for, I can almost guarantee someone else has already judged me for something much worse. I mean, come on. I know the sort of things I write or rec.

I've done it enough I have a template in my head of how to write a comment. There are a few resources for that floating around that are good for getting started. Practice makes perfect.

Applying techniques from therapy. I'm not great at it, or have really internalized it, but at least aware that my fears are being egged on by anxiety, by past bad experiences, by the special hell of rejection sensitive dysphoria.

Easier said than done, especially on certain days, but just... running out of fucks to give. Like, oh my god self, so what if some author thinks I was too enthusiastic about their fic? What does it matter? They're just another random person on the internet, what are they going to do? Laugh at me? Then they're the one being a jackass, AND they don't get any more comments. Whatever.

And on that last one, if it's feeling impossible, like it'll never happen... holy shit this is going to sound condescending, but give it some time. Me from 10 years ago would have laughed at the idea of not caring what someone else thought. At some point, without me really noticing, I just could not care what some rando on the internet thought. It wasn't an active 'no I'm not going to care', it was 'wow I cannot find the energy to give a shit about you'. (But I can still find it to be mad when someone is Wrong on the Internet, so.)

I bring that up because every time I find out someone's age lately, I'm like, Jesus Christ. I forget how young fandom - esp tumblr - skews. Cause of course, I'm still young! It's not like I'm old, it's just that everyone is... younger... than... me. Wait. But for real, being in your late teens SUCKS. (Maybe you're lucky and they don't, but I doubt.) Being in your early 20's somehow sucks even more??? Being in your 20's period sucks. You couldn't pay me to be 20-anything again.

(Thinking of all the fandom people on here 20, 30 years older than me being like lol, you're still so freaking young :D )

Every comment I get these days I hoard like a dragon, and anytime I'm feeling crappy about writing or about some new thing being a bomb, I pull those suckers out and reread them for ages. I've got a whole doc just of tumblr comments, cause there's no other good way to find them again. if I'm really desperate, I go poke to see if there's any new bookmarks on my fic, in case they dropped a tag or put in a collection of favs or left a note of some sort (ya'll know authors can see those right?).

And I'd say I'm a pretty confident writer. I know I write a lot of niche stuff in tiny fandoms, so comparatively, I probably get a lot of comments. I have a moderately high opinion of my writing skills, so I'm mostly not sitting there going 'oh god I'm the worst writer ever', whereas I know that's the case for a LOT of fic writers. I'm mostly just sitting there like 'why didn't it hit the spot? why won't anyone say anything? I am so desperate to talk shop please anyone give me an excuse!!'.

So just... yeah. Throw an emoji at me. Throw a gif at me. Throw a novel that takes six comment boxes at me. Throw the exact same comment at fifteen different chapters/fics. I love it all.

(And hey. If you just lurk and read, it's okay. I get it. I still love you too.)

[plus-size-reader]

Devastated

Ivar the Boneless x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2794 words

Warnings: Reader cannot have children. It is covered in very little detail but content may be triggering to some. Read with caution darlings. 

Summary: The reader finds out that she will never bear children, and knows that she must tell her husband, eventually. 

—————————————————————————————————

You were devastated.

In your entire life, you were sure that you’d never been given such bad news.

When you went to visit the Seer, the last thing you expected him to tell you about your future was that you would never be able to have children, and yet, that was just what had happened.

You begged the mighty one to reconsider, to tell you something different, but there was nothing to be done.

The reality was that you would never bear children of your own, not in all your life.

You couldn’t believe it.

Child rearing was incredibly important to you, and your people in general. You should have been able to bear strong, strapping sons to carry on their father’s name and daughters who could hold their own against any warrior.

It was your birthright as a woman, and a Princess of Kattegat, but the seer was very clear. There were no young ones in your future, at least, not any that you would carry on your own as your mother had with you.

It wasn’t going to happen.

By all accounts, you were heartbroken.

Since you were a young child, you had dreamed of becoming a mother to brave children who could bring just as much glory to Kattegat as you and all the others before you had. You owed it to the Gods, but evidently, they had a different plan.

You weren’t to be a mother.

You considered this, and everything else the seer had said as you walked down the path toward the great hall, your feet heavy beneath you. Perhaps, if you made enough offerings to Freya, something would change.

Though, you knew it would never work.

The seer had never been wrong, in all the years you’d lived. If he was ever going to be wrong, you doubted it would be over this in any case.

You couldn’t rightly ignore the facts.

Your body wasn’t fit to carry children, and if your womb couldn't support life, there was nothing you could have ever hoped to do to change that. The most you could do was accept what you knew to be true.

Which was much easier in theory than in practice.

Not only did you have to come to terms with this new reality, but you also had to share the unfortunate news with your husband, who would certainly not take it well.

Every man wanted sons, men whom they could be proud to leave their name to when they were finally called to Valhalla. The idea that you were taking that away from Ivar made you rethink everything.

Would he want to be married to you anymore when he found out? Your marriage was relatively new, and you couldn't blame him if this was something that he simply couldn’t overlook and even worse, what if he was angry?

Ivar wasn’t exactly a joy to be around when he was angry, and you fear what he may do if he blamed you for something like this.

Was it your fault?

Gods, maybe it was.

You weren’t aware that you couldn’t have children before this morning so it wasn’t as if you could have been expected to warn him before your marriage, but now that you knew, was it possible you had done something wrong.

It was really starting to feel as though you were being punished for something, but for what, you were unsure.

Surely you’d done something wrong. Why else would the Gods see fit to take your children away from you before you’d even had a chance to consider having them?

It felt like a cruel joke, one that you could never escape.

The more you thought about it, the more distracted you’d become, and before long, you found yourself entering the mouth of the great hall, where Ivar was already waiting for you.

Of course he was.

Your husband was kind to you, most of the time, when his temper didn’t have a handle on his emotions. You had never found yourself worried about speaking to him, or telling him anything before, but today was different.

Today, you found yourself more willing to go into the woods to fight a bear as Bjorn had done, rather than tell Ivar of the news you’d gotten from the seer on your visit this morning.

It was simply too much to put on one person.

“Well hello my wife, how are you?” Ivar hummed, letting his eyes fall on you in the doorway once he’d decided he was bored of watching Ubbe and Hvitserk try to best one another in an arm wrestle.

They had been going at it for the last hour or so, and it had gotten tedious shortly after that.

Hearing about what you had gotten into today seemed to interest him that much more, especially because you had taken it upon yourself to get out of bed and leave before he’d even opened his eyes.

You didn’t speak at first, instead opting to admire the man you loved in a silent contemplation of how he was feeling today.

If he was already in a sour mood, you weren’t going to dare bring something like this up.

Still, compared to how Ivar acted on his worst days, he seemed rather content today. If nothing else, he was bored, which you couldn’t really fault him for. His mother had more or less kept him here his entire life.

He didn’t voyage away from Kattegat and he never was one for frivolous activities to pass the time.

In any case, if there was ever going to be a good opportunity to have such a sensitive conversation with him, it was now. At least, you had a better chance of him staying calm, rather than getting angry.

“I’m just fine, Ivar, how are you?” you hummed, sitting down beside him as gingerly as you could without disturbing him, though you were more in your head than you’d ever been.

You knew that you should pay attention as he told you about what he’d gotten up to today, not missing the subtle comments he made about you leaving him to wake up on his own, but you couldn’t focus on anything more than the sinking in your gut.

Deep down, you knew that he would blame you.

That it was bad enough that you weren’t as fair or petite as his brother’s wives, and that his father had arranged your marriage, but now, you wouldn't even be able to bear his children for him.

You had been rather fortunate to avoid Ivar’s wrath before now, though you’d seen it pretty frequently, and you could feel that luck running out. You knew that this would upset him, that he would be angry.

You just weren’t sure what you could do about that.

It would be foolish to believe that you could keep this from him forever.

Eventually, he was bound to put the pieces together when you couldn’t get pregnant, and even if he didn’t, the seer was sure to mention it to him at some point.

You could only keep this from him for so long, and if he found out you knew this long before he did, he would punish you for sure.

So, as much as it made your stomach turn, you knew that you only really had one choice.

“What did you do today that was so important?” he questioned, all but snapping in your face to get your attention once he’d finished speaking, only to find you as far away as ever.

Clearly, your head was a million miles away, and while that normally would have frustrated Ivar, he found himself strangely concerned for your wellbeing. Usually, when he spoke, you hung on every word.

Today, it was as if he wasn’t even here.

“I went to visit the seer, about the strange way I’ve been feeling” you shrugged, hoping that wouldn’t bring on any other questions from him.

This was your chance.

All you had to do was tell him.

Though, when you raised your eyes to meet his, you found that same knot in your belly twisted up even more. There was no way that you could tell him, he would never understand.

Still, you knew that at some point, he was sure to pull it out of you. He always did, no matter what it was you tried to keep away.

“Well, what did he tell you?” came his second question, the one you’d been anticipating, and trying to avoid, this entire time.

You did your best not to let the heavy sigh building in your chest escape as you tried to figure out how to word what you had to say, your eyes falling on both Hvitserk and Ubbe across the room.

It was bad enough that you were about to tell Ivar the worst news you’d ever gotten, but now, you had to do it with them within earshot? It was perfect. The entire Ragnarsson clan could hate you at once.

Not that them being here was a completely bad thing.

At least with his brothers in the room, there was less of a chance that Ivar could get so angry with you.

Perhaps they would be a good buffer for you.

In any case, you knew that you had reached the end of your very minimal stalling. If you waited any longer, the more you were sure that Ivar’s peaceful mood and ticking patience would fade.

The longer you waited, the harder it would be.

“There is nothing outrightly wrong” you allowed, doing your best to make him feel better about that, at the very least. It wasn’t a lie, just as much as it wasn’t exactly the truth. You weren’t dying, or seriously ill.

You just weren’t as you thought you were this morning.

“Then why were you away for so long? Surely the seer was able to tell you something” he groaned, bothered that you had been away for so many hours without so much as a warning to him.

After all, you had been missing from his side since before he opened his eyes, something he had never really taken kindly to.

You nodded, sorry that your clear absence had upset him so much before you finally let that sigh fall from your lips.

“Yes, he did, but the news is rather difficult to accept,” you warned, forcing some words out when you found the truth unable to leave your tongue. With every second that passed, you could just feel his patience leaving him.

However, even with all the blatant stalling you were doing, Ivar remained as calm as he could.

It was clear to him that no matter what you said, there was something you were keeping from him. The only question Ivar really had was why?

In all the time that you had been married, he was always kind to you. He took care of you as any husband should and though his temper was a bit harsh at times, he was always careful to be fair and gentle when he spoke to you.

All in all, Ivar thought himself to be a good husband but perhaps he was wrong.

He couldn’t imagine anything that could be so bad that you were so timid to tell him.

“Y/N, what did the seer tell you?” he prompted, shocking you a bit with the use of your name. Ivar never used your name, not if he could help it, always instead opting for ‘wife’ or ‘darling’ if he really wanted something.

It was never Y/N with him.

“I cannot have children, Ivar. Not ever” you finally broke, desperately wishing that you hadn’t said anything to begin with.

You should have been able to do this, and you both knew it.

Still, once you’d finally built up the courage to look, the upset that you expected from Ivar wasn’t anywhere to be seen on his face.

Instead, he wore an expression that was almost confused.

That was what you were so afraid to tell him?

You had come in here after a day of absence, as closed off and cagey as he’d ever seen you in all the time that you’d known him and that was what it was about? He just couldn’t believe that was the thing that you hesitated to share.

Of all the things it could have been, he would have thought that among the first that you could talk with him about if need be.

Not that you could read all of that from his silence and pensive expression.

From where you were sitting, you were even further convinced that he was about to tell you that he couldn’t be married to someone that couldn’t give him children, and that you would be on your own once again.

News that you couldn’t have been more unwilling to hear.

While your marriage to Ivar had been his mother’s idea in the beginning, you had begun to really care for him in the time you’d been married. Separating from him was sure to break your heart.

No matter the circumstances.

“And you’re upset by that?” he hummed, after a few seconds of silence between the two of you, a casual question that seemed so out of place in such a serious, tense conversation.

It was so strange.

He truly seemed as if he didn’t understand what the big deal was.

Though, you were talking to a man who had never truly been sure children were in his future to begin with. Not to mention the fact that even if he knew he was physically able, Ivar didn’t know how he felt about fathering offspring.

After all, if they had to live life anything like he did, he wasn’t sure it was worth it.

So, the idea that you couldn’t bear his children didn’t bother Ivar as much as you’d been expecting. Something that would have made you feel better, had you not been heartbroken over it.

You wanted to have children, all your life, so now knowing that you couldn’t, it felt as if something you’d never even had, had been stolen from you.

“Of course I’m upset, Ivar. Are you not?” you sighed, shocked at how this conversation had so drastically changed from what you’d been expecting. All this time, you thought your husband would be the most affected by this.

All the while, he remained almost entirely unphased by the news that you were barren.

It was almost insulting.

“Did you really expect to have children when we married, anyway?” he asked, his question giving you pause for a moment.

You supposed you’d never really thought about it before.

He had a point.

There was never any real guarantee that you were going to be a mother with him in any case, a fact that hadn’t even been important enough to cross your mind when you were getting married.

“I never thought much about it” you allowed, your eyes once again sinking to the floor as you thought about everything that had somehow changed, in the matter of a few hours.

It was hard not to feel as if your body had betrayed your trust, taking away something you had always thought to be promised.

You were upset, and rightfully so.

Ivar may not have ever considered himself a father, in any capacity, but that didn’t mean that your upset was any less real. He’d had his entire life to come to terms with this, whereas you’d only known for a day.

Of course it bothered you, and even if he didn’t really get why you were allowing something like this to get to you so much, he could recognize that you were hurting.

...and what kind of husband would he be if he left his grieving wife to her own devices.

“I understand that you are distressed by the seer’s news, but I promise you, it changes nothing between us” Ivar assured, his fingers brushing over the top of your hand as he held it between you.

It wasn’t the most comforting gesture outside of this moment, a simple hand holding as it were, but coming from Ivar, it made all the difference in the world.

As desperate as you were to change the state of your body, and as much as you wished it wasn’t the way it was, you knew that nothing could be done.

All you could do now was move on as best you could, and perhaps, sometime down the line, the gods may gift you with a child that you could care for. 

Even if such a child wasn’t of Ivar’s and your own.

At least, until then, you had Ivar by your side.

[blossomingbellflower]

🏹 Given the the unpredictability of the current scenario the miko found herself in, she was quietly relieved to note nothing disastrous had been triggered upon opening it. While she had been certain there was no additional spells attached, one could never be completely sure. The way the being behind all these attacks were orchestrating everything, it would not surprise her if--even with her sensitivity and prowess--there had been an underlying consequence to opening the orb.

In situations where Kikyou could not read or anticipate a response, she simply relied on preparation and caution to compensate. If something had transpired, the village was protected and Sora was safe between herself and Sesshomaru.

Kikyou silently agreed with the imp via a slight nod of her head. It could be either observation or a mix of both. In any case, they had a new clue which was progress.

The quick exchange between demon and his retainer had not gone unnoticed. It made her curious as to what their thoughts on the phrasing was. It was evident they had an idea of their next location and she pondered if they shared the same thought as herself..or if it was different. In any case, it was best to ask at a later time when they were alone. Kikyou's priority was to return Sora to his village and assist with the funeral rites for the deceased.

"....Very well. I shall try to finish in a timely manner.", Kikyou replied, her solemn gaze flickering to the pair as they made to depart. There were a few reasons that she could surmise why they lingered and waited, but it did not change the feeling of being mildly bewildered.

It was interesting to observe and compare the Sesshomaru of this moment to the one she briefly met prior to her third passing. While Kikyou never anticipated the demon to remain static, the small shifts of change in such a short span of time was intriguing. But..had time really been that short between then and their first time encountering since her post resurrection and revival? Come to think of it..she did not know how much time had passed. The people she could have asked..she had no desire to seek them out. The time frame could have been anything from two years to another fifty.

Time was not a concept that mattered to her anymore..but she suppose she should look into it..And how long has it been since Naraku was defeated. The latter she was cognizant of--due to a simple spell. What it did not or could not inform her of..was how long ago it was.

Once Sora was ready, Kikyou walked besides the youth. Vestiges of hunger was beginning to stir. Given how far she had traversed in the last day alone, weariness was beginning to become more irritating and prominent. With once again residing in a living body, Kikyou was reminded of a different set of limitations in comparison to her clay body.

While her will and resolve was strong, her body required the basic needs to be met to function properly. Given her stamina and endurance, the miko could push herself more so than the average human. At some point, however, she will need to rest if she were to be of use. Kikyou estimated she had a day or two more before she was forced to taking a longer break instead of her usual brief respites.

Perhaps less..as she did have to attend to those in the village and perform the funeral rites. It mattered little.

Once they were back at the village, Kikyou gently and affectionately rested a hand on Sora's head. She smiled softly. "Your family is proud of you, I am sure of it. Never forget..that all they would want for you..is to live, be well and find your happiness. Though you cannot see them..they will always watch over you."

With that said, Kikyou went to find the elder to begin the final rites for those who had passed.

------

It was not until the sun began to set, that Kikyou had completed all her tasks. Not only did the funeral rites take some time, but there had been a few injuries and illness to take care of, in addition to ensuring their crops would not suffer over the course of the next couple of months as they recuperated.

Nibbling on some dehydrated meat and stored fruits, Kikyou retrieved her horse and once again made her way into the forest to meet with the demons. When she arrived at their point of meeting, she mounted her steed. The well-rested horse nickered and pawed at the ground, brimming with energy.

"I already assume you both have a theory to the riddle posed earlier.", Kikyou stated directly, not wasting any time. Perhaps if she was not as fatigued as she was disguising, Kikyou may have commented on the dog bit earlier. It truly was a pity. As she was, however, Sesshomaru's pride was saved from the reminder. After all, it was best to focus what energy she had left on what laid ahead instead of light, frivolous teasing.

"Care to elaborate as we make our way to the next location?" While she could always follow up with her conclusion via magic, she also trusted and respected the analytical mind of the inu daiyokai. His reputation and abilities did not stem simply from prowess alone, but also from elevated intelligence and perceptiveness that surpassed many humans and demons of this world. He still had his flaws and made his mistakes..like putting an unconscious, injured person in a tree for instance..but it did not change the fact that ultimately, his intellect was unrivaled.

Sora couldn’t remember seeing anything coming from the bees when they were defeated any of the other times. It seemed like it was the case this time around as well, seeing as they haven’t found anything. He stayed on the sidelines, patiently waiting to see what would happen next. His eyes kept moving to the giant Demon dog with curiosity. Sesshomaru, noticing the glances, would look back indifferently. It harmed no one to stare, so he allowed it. Kikyo was being kind to the child, so as the ‘loyal hound’ that he was portraying himself to be, he had to assume a ‘genial temperament’ by his standards.

It was fascinating to watch as Kikyo did something with the orb. It glowed and it popped open. No matter what he tried, it wouldn’t budge, but she made it look so effortless. On edge, he did quickly look over their surroundings. He didn’t forget how she mentioned that breaking the object ran a chance of something disastrous happening—but nothing happened. That was lucky for them.

It did seem as though a paper was revealed inside of the orb. “It would seem that we can’t expect the bees to always hold the clues, or perhaps this village was simply special.” Jaken comments when he notices that Kikyo had a piece of paper.

The Demon dog and the imp looked at each other once Kikyo finished reading the words aloud. Kikyo had her thoughts while Jaken and Sesshomaru had their own thoughts. It wasn’t something they’d expect for her to know because she wasn’t around when Naraku was finally cut down and Sesshomaru had regained his arm through the birth of Bakusaiga. Given how the perpetrator was using the signature servants of Naraku and had somehow ensnared both Kikyo and Sesshomaru into investigating the events, the clues would probably have something to do with any of the three involved.

Sora watched as Kikyo had forged the two halves together again. As she said, it was not the same as before, but it was still something that held sentimental value all the same. He could remember his brother’s heroic sacrifice, and he’d remember the marvelous things he’d witnessed today. “Thank you, Miko-sama.” He accepts the orb gratefully and holds it close to him.

He stows the orb away and makes sure to carefully pack all the bows he’d found so they don’t break during transit. He also made sure to gather some firewood from the broken branches, as they would come in handy for later. One could never have enough firewood for the cold nights, and it was also good to have wood for funeral rites.

Kikyo had told the two Demons that they could either move on ahead or wait for her at their earlier location. Jaken secretly casts a look at Sesshomaru, who nods his head. “Miss Lady Kikyo, we shall wait for you at the earlier location. Do take care of your business with ease.” Jaken speaks respectfully towards her, nodding his head with due respect and he climbs atop of Sesshomaru’s back and the giant canine leaps into the air to fly off.

It was simply a better idea to wait for Kikyo than to split up and meet each other later. There was no telling what else was in store for them, and coordinating was easier done when in close proximity. Once they were away from any onlooking eyes, Sesshomaru had shifted back into his humanoid form, making Jaken drop to the ground.

❝It would seem that the next location would be where that wretch had breathed his last.❞

“That appears so, Mi’lord. It is also where your Bakusaiga had been born… but is it possible for someone to know of the exact location it had happened?” Jaken raised an interesting point. There couldn’t have been many onlookers during the final battle, and with the area of interest being so large, it would be hard to pinpoint where exactly they must look for the next ‘clue.’ How bothersome it was.

Should he be required to dig like some common mutt, Sesshomaru would certainly enjoy digging his claws into the vermin who dared to machinate against him like so.

       ❝It can be solved in time.❞

In other words, it was for the future version of himself to deal with. The two Demons chose to simply wait idly as Kikyo had to continue working hard to perform the duties expected of her as a Miko. How tiresome, working for others. Sesshomaru couldn’t fathom being selfless like she was. Irony is found in the fact that centuries into the future he too would find himself acting on the behalf of others for their benefit, even if it was something he couldn’t believe for himself now.