#I cannot compare this to anything I have no idea what is as sensitive as a tiny human

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

How do any humans live ever what the fuck

[bunji-enthusiast]

Could you do nsfw hc for Tristan and Lancelot with a fem so

𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬

Sypnosis [As written in the request]

Characters [Tristan Liones, Lancelot]

Note || this took me some time to think about because I didn’t want to stray from their personalities in these headcanons, lmaooo. The brain worms possessed me probably. Please read of your own volition.

Tristan Liones

He genuinely takes stride in ensuring your pleasure over his, as embarrassing to him, Tristan enjoys the look on your face when you blank out; brought over the edge. He burns that to memory pretty well.

Not to say he gets greedy himself too sometimes, with some general coaxing on your end—he gets a little more confident in going in at it himself. Of course, he will stop all notion to make sure your okay if you even let out any sort of pained sounds. Tristan may be a bit ebbed on the rough department but he won’t continue unless he knows you’re okay.

He isn’t necessarily iffy about the idea of control, he doesn’t mind if it’s him or you. But being with you right there, matters more to him.

Tristan likes thigh-riding, doesn’t matter which side or position but he really, really likes it. Mainly to him, it exudes a sense of itimacy and confidence compared to other positions.

He has a basic understanding and rough idea of sexual intimacy initially, but through you, and getting to—more or less explore you; he had gotten better at taking care of you. But he does like being on the receiving end of the pleasure if you absolutely prefer taking the lead.

Missionary is the classic but most earnest position for him.

Tristan really, and I mean—REALLY likes kissing you during the session. May as well be knocked breathless more often by the kisses then by anything else your feeling.

He takes consent and boundaries very seriously, if you are feeling unsure or uncomfortable then he will stop. No ifs, ands or buts.

Dearest Tristan has a possessive streak, he likes leaving a few marks here and there. But where it cannot be seen, he wants you to be saved from the embarrassment of that later on.

A huge, huge thing for praising. Both giving and receiving, he wants to know if he’s doing good. But also, he always lets you know how good you make him feel.

Tristan can have a pretty mature take on the moment, but he be pretty silly as well, it doesn’t always have to be a particularly bad thing. But it always catches you off guard when he says something random (what he says can be up to you) in the moment, which completely removes the romantic atmosphere of it.

He prefers doing it with you in the absolute privacy of the bedroom, but Tristan can also be feeling risky about doing it with you in semi-public spaces. For example; a forest. But he would rather die if you two got interrupted by someone else, then deal with the embarrassment of the aftermath.

Tristan isn’t a quickie person, he really isn’t. He prefers the slow and steady, more proper thence the quickness. It would just bother him way too much afterwards, Tristan likes taking his time in the moment with you; he likes getting to know how you feel.

He has a roughly more then average stamina, but Tristan last less if receiving; he is pretty sensitive.

Tristan can be quick to tease surprisingly, but he isn’t the kind to spell out mean words (irregardless of being a more punishing type, he just can’t do that). He prefers a gentle tone, if that makes sense.

Afterwards, he won’t go to sleep quickly, but he will ensure you feel okay and take care of you before he thinks about falling asleep himself. He can be pretty sleepy afterwards otherwise though.

Lancelot

With this mischievous bastard, there’s no being quiet. He likes hearing how you sound, he’s incredibly adept at hearing, so Lancelot wants to be sure you are feeling good. Lancelot will stop if you happen to be in pain, just from a pained sound. He doesn’t want to injure you or cause you any pain.

He doesn’t have any reservations about positions, but he’s incredibly iffy about ones you’ve had tried together. But that’s all he’s kept to himself.

Munch, he’s one of the biggest munches you’ll ever meet. Lancelot’s got tounge for days, and he’ll make sure you know that. He in particular gets real excited about your pleasure when you lock your legs around his head. He likes how you taste and he is not ashamed to admit that.

Akin to Tristan, he values consent and boundaries. Lancelot won’t at all make you feel ashamed for wanting to stop, if you want to stop then that’s what is happening.

Overstimulation is indeed on the table, he kinda likes how fucked out you look, even if he ends up overstimulating himself in the process. But he will bring you back from it in due time.

Mark him up, go for it! He likes seeing it, during or after; Lancelot relishes it. Not that he doesn’t have a possessive sense of self, but when it’s you? Oh hell yes.

He can be a pretty risky person, but Lancelot prefers it to be just him and you — without the risk of interruption.

Lancelot lasts for a decent amount of time, but when he feels tapped out—he’ll let you know; and vice versa.

His initial understanding and idea of sexual intimacy was mostly next to nothing at first, only that he knew it was something that happened with the consenting parties involved. But he never imagined he’d be able to do such a thing with you, he has nicer view of it thanks to you.

If you or him get all bothered by eachother; maybe one way or the other, he’ll definitely do something about it as quick as possible. Don’t wanna prolong it, unless if it’s necessary.

Absolutely no quickies, he seldom likes the idea, but if you don’t want the quickie then he doesn’t either. Alongside you, he likes being in the moment with you, without such a limited time period.

We know Lancelot, he can tease you to no end. He just genuinely likes seeing how red you can get because of it, especially during the session.

Lancelot is, overall, rather tender in bed with a teasing streak, but don’t be mistaken — he will leave you panting, and shaking from an earth-shattering orgasm. The fox knows how to please a woman, the experience overtime helped.

In the moment, he does ruin it by being silly, but that will extend most of the time during the session. You will never completely feel serious about it when it’s with him, a couple laughs here and there really do have him looking at you like your the light that shines down on the world.

Lancelot, despite having vague moments of impatience, can be incredibly patient when it comes to sex. He likes riling you up.

Similar to Tristan; Aftercare king. It’s so important to him, and Lancelot will never fail to provide, even if you didn’t do anything intense. He’ll massage your thighs to ease the shaking after you cum, he’ll clean up your mess and prepare a warm bath for you. While you bathe, he’ll clean the sheet. Honestly — best boyfriend.

[harmonysanreads]

Hiiiii! I saw your reblog on my Yandere Phainon and reading the tags brought smile to my face, thank you and I’m happy my work hit the spot 💖

I just wanted to say, the idea of Phainon like this is just sooo… 😩 I feel like Phainon himself is not aware he’s that manipulative or cruel towards reader, that it’s more of an involuntary thing (though he’s not an idiot either and knows how to coerce reader into his request.) I had this idea he’d be so obsessed with reader he’d romanticise everything about them without realising that there’s more complexity to reader’s problems, and with that, the fact that his words of supposed acceptance and forced-facing-their insecurities would be painful and not uplifting…

As you say, some people would have taken his words as compliment since they’re more subtle, but someone as insecure as reader would always be sensitive to any word and end up having their spirit crushed just like Phainon has crushed theirs with treating their insecurities as something only acceptable, but not desirable…allegedly not on purpose.

I just cannot stop feeling like Phainon is such a creep-feeling character to me in the game, that yeah, he’s nice and chivalrous, but it’s as if he’s one stop away from losing it all and that he’d be love bombing type until you no longer want to be separated from him, so I had to write him this way. I don’t know the kevin lore but Phainon really feels psychotic to me, felt that way during the quest, as if he lost a big part of himself.

I’m glad this interpretation of him was well received! I’m really curious how is it you perceive him yourself, even just as a character in the game and off fanfic.

The fic mentioned is this one. Do check it out!

That's... interesting. I agree with everything you've said but the Phainon giving you the creeps part really surprised me. So, that made me wonder whether knowing Kevin's lore from HI3 really does make a difference or not because, I've never gotten that particular vibe from Phainon. There's a bit of a distinction here which I'll clarify shortly.

Phainon's turbulent inner world is something that we all can agree on by now, especially since both Aglaea and Tribbie have talked about his preference for shouldering way-more-than-he-should very clearly. I've also mentioned the matter of identity crises in particular in a previous post back when 3.0 was still fresh. In 3.1's story, he honestly gave very ‘smiling through the pain’ vibes throughout. So, I completely agree with the ‘one step away from losing it all’ and I keep it in mind myself for when I write for him.

Phainon has lost pretty much everything. Even though he gained a new identity after becoming a Chrysos Heir, it'd never compare to his peaceful life in Aedes Elysiae. And even then, he's slowly having to let go of his companions to the prophecy, he's becoming alone all over again. At the same time, he can't bring himself to burden others with his problem, isn't that the least he should be capable of as a ‘perfect vessel for divinity’? But deep down, maybe, he yearns for someone to understand without him having to speak up, without him having to convey.

To talk about Kevin without spoiling the story, I'll need to quote Welt from back during the Penacony arc — that man was never a failure. Even if the decisions he makes are questionable and shady, at his core his sense of duty is pure. Perhaps that is why, despite noticing all of these things about Phainon, I have trust in him. He's so familiar, in a way. Amphoreus's story is long and Phainon will no doubt go through many unpleasant things, but I have faith that his intentions will not stray. He is and will be a true hero. Which is why, even if I write for him in certain ways, I'll personally never see him as anything truly sinister.

I've read another one of your works for him and there I noticed a reflection of this observation of yours as well. I'm by no means criticizing or discouraging it by the way! Your interpretation is what makes your writing for him unique! I just find the distinction that's appeared as a result very interesting.

[gars-weaponeer]

The Bullied Bad Batch?

Here comes a controversial take...

But It kind of always rubbed me the wrong way to see the first episode of the bad batch and have this narrative that they have always been bullied by the other clones for being different, like some sort of Star wars Loosers club.

It really doesn't makes sense to me. Specially comparing them to their episodes in the Clone Wars.

For starters: Sure, they are called "defective clones"... but are they really? Nothing about their mutations gives them an actual defect or a weakness. The closest we have is Tech's intelligence being so great he is way to logical about everything and lacks in social interactions.

But other than that the fact that Hunter's heightened senses overwhelm him sometimes, or that Crosshair's eyes are sensitive to bright lights, or that Wrecker's Muscles are in constant pain are all fandom made.

They were not just "born defective" like 99 and the Kaminoans decided to let them out into the world see what happened. They presented "some" mutations and the Kaminoans enhanced said mutations to make them perfect soldiers.

They are an an experimental group sure, but they were treated as a clone comando squad, an elite group.

I find it very hard to believe that an "elite group" would be bullied for being "different". It's like saying the Delta Squad was bullied by the other ct troopers.

Not to mention, their actitudes in their clone wars episodes are more akin to bullies. They are arrogant, They pick up fights with the other clones, They undermined the other clone's thoughts, ideas and even abilities. They don't follow orders and do things their own unorthodox way. Hell! even the "Reg" name they give regular clones sounds almost like an insult or a slur.

So why did we suddenly pass from: "They are just Regs, they cannot compare with us" to "The regs are calling us names, we have no friends in the school cafeteria." ???

-But Weaponeer! - I hear you say - They are called the Bad Batch because they were born defective.

And to that I say, NO. They are called "Clone force 99" because they were born with mutations (like 99). They call themselves "The Bad Batch" because they are a group of edgy, rebellious, younger clones that are aware they are different from the rest.

Let's not forget that deleted scene where we learn the Bad Batch had some nose art of a sexy Padme. That reads: "Born to be Bad."

Just so you can understand their actual energy.

That said, I think the writers should have kept the Bully Bad Batch on their series. At least on the first episode, when they are still in the GAR.

IMAGEN THIS:

The Bad Batch is an experimental group that is very important for the Kaminoans. So much so that they are given preferential treatment over regular clones, even comando clones.

They have their own personal barracks, They have their own ship that is theirs, They are allowed to do as they wish during missions since Kaminoans want to test them and record their evolution.

The Bad Batch know they are the Kaminoan's favorites, so does the regular clones and they hate it.

To regular clones it feels unfair. They are the ones that run into the battlefield and fight endless hoards of droids daily just to have this bunch of reckless clones rush in, do whatever they want, explode something and receive all the praise.

Not to mention that The Bad Batch is not nice about it either, they are arrogant, they boast, they call the other clones "regs" and compare their superior abilities to the rest constantly, almost like they forget they are clones too.

Worst part is, the Regs can't really do anything about it. Pick up fights with them always ends up badly. Wrecker is strong enough to send any reg to the med bay with one punch, Hunter can always anticipate punches and Crosshair has excellent aim when throwing the cafeteria trays.

The only one there that does not condone the behavior of his peers is Echo. Despite being a Reg he was accepted by the Bad Batch thanks to his unusual appearance and skills, but Echo is constantly trying to stop them from being mean to his other brothers. Not that it does much as the Bad Batch still see Echo as the "newbie" despite him being an ARC trooper.

But they are not bad people, they do have a sense of duty and honor like any other clone and they wouldn't really cause real harm to an ally. They see Omega and treat her with care, after all she is a young girl and they are not animals. They see the "insurgents" they were sent to kill and of course they cannot do that! Killing innocents? that's not what they do!

When they rebel from the Empire and go AWOL their whole world comes crashing down.

They no longer have the protection of the Kaminoans, they are no longer the favorite clones, now they are the traitors, hunted down not only by the whole empire but by one of their own.

This sudden change would make the batch wake up and turn from unruly teens to mature adults.

Hunter now has to be the mature leader and guide his team to safety in a harsh galaxy that keeps getting more and more dangerous. He has to be more careful, to a point that he is almost afraid of taking risks, specially since he has Omega to worry about. It would give him some character arc in which he passes from being carefree, to overly cautious, to learning to balance both.

Tech would learn that even though he has all the theory, he doesn't have all the practice. Nothing is as easy as just saying it, and things that he used to take for granted are now being mayor issues.

Echo's knowledge of the galaxy and skill would be more useful to his peers, but his tendency to distrust causes him problems in the long run. Not to mention he would still not be happy about sitting down doing nothing while his brothers are suffering at the hands of the Empire.

While Wrecker is having the hardest time adapting to their new life, being the more immature of the bunch. He learns that he cannot be as reckless as he has always been during their time in the GAR, specially when they have Omega to worry about.

That's Right people! MORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! I think it would have been interesting to see that sort of dynamic.

┕━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━┙

Then Again, these are just my thoughts. You are welcome to agree, add your own thoughts or just ignore them if they are not your cup of tea.

If you reached all the way down here thank you for reading ♥

And may the force be with you.

[eww-y-tho]

Colin VS Toxic Masculinity and Why Penelope Had to Reveal Herself as LW

I made a previous post with my two cents on why the idea of them both figuring out a solution to LW was an inferior concept to just Penelope figuring it out on her own, but it was small and I want to go more in-depth.

So, in order to grasp ✨my perspective✨ of the story, we first need to talk about Colin's struggles with toxic masculinity and his inferiority complex.

Naturally, Colin is a hopeless romantic with demisexual tendencies and a more prominent softness compared to other male leads. He's a bit dense (I say with love) until he figures out what he wants and how he's going to get it, and then he is a man of frankly ridiculous action. He's a sensitive boi who has a difficult time fitting in with the other men in his life and being taken seriously by his family, as he puts it himself. An empath, lol.

Honestly, Colin being a "rake" was an integral point of his character arc, and if you haven't picked up on that text by now, I would ask where your media literacy is. Violet put it best, he's putting on armour to protect himself from the way that society treats his character, and naturally, he develops a small, albeit persistent inferiority complex because of this. He doesn't feel like he's providing enough to the people around him because of toxic masculine standards.

I honestly think it's been with him since s1, and Pen is the only person who could bring these thoughts to the surface, which is why it comes to a head in s3 p2.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In his efforts to fit in, he does some questionable things, such as the 2x8 comment, which he regrets as soon as he realizes how much damage it has done to his relationship with Pen. He hangs around with douchebags that he can't stand because he feels a need to conform and "be the kind of man society expects him to be."

But he also absorbs toxic masculine tendencies in the process. His gut instinct of general envy that a woman, Pen, is more successful than him (I hate to put it that bluntly, but that's how I took it), asking for her to quit LW because of these reasons, completely disregarding Pen's autonomy and her perspective by blindly charging forward to stop Cressida's blackmail, among other smaller things.

It's kind of ✨subtle✨, but I know it's there.

Pair that with his inferiority complex and you have a man who is trying to put down Penelope to his level, if that makes sense. By this point, he's already conquered the idea that he needs to conform by the way he cuts off his toxic friend group, but he isn't completely free from the systemic perspective.

Therefore, the idea that Pen would need him in order to find a solution to her problem confirms that toxic masculine trait. Let's be real, Penelope didn't and doesn't need Colin in order to help with LW's problems. She's managed without him before and will continue to manage it by herself. This is not to say that Penelope doesn't have an issue with accepting help from others and feeling the need to handle her problems alone because of her old situation, but she takes the emotionally intelligent move by LITERALLY voicing what she needs from Colin and their relationship.

She needs his companionship, she needs his love, she needs a rock she can come to at the end of the day and be able to depend on. She does not need him to do anything for LW, as it is a part of her identity and an accomplishment that she is proud of and will not let go of. Colin cannot make the demand that she drop everything she's worked for for him.

And that's how relationships work in the real world. You have things you are willing to let go of, and some things you are not. Your partner has to accept those boundaries you have set or leave the relationship, and you shouldn't have to abandon those things in order to get the person of your dreams, because that would make it a toxic relationship from the start and will most likely end in you losing parts of yourself in your partner.

Anyway, all this is to say that Penelope had to get out of her situation by her own means and with full autonomy on what she wanted to do to finish off her character arc.

And Colin needed to realize that his envy is a baseless emotion that simply has no value compared to the woman he knows her as. A strong, independent woman who doesn't need him to do things for her. He also needed to humble himself and see the way that LW is not competing with him, but a part of her. They both demonstrate that what they need from the relationship is not transactional in nature, but rather a shared bond powered by love.

I understand the idea of wanting them to both find a way out of the blackmail as a team, but again, that's explicitly not what they need from each other, and why I think this perspective is again a misunderstanding of their character arcs.

I think I've articulated this the best way I can, but I do know I wanted to say some other things. I'm tired tho, so yeah, ending it here.

Hopefully, this made sense.

Bai!

[effervescent-experience]

On the TikTok Ban

Hello, everyone. This is not my usual content. However, as a leftist and someone who has been on the app for a while, I feel that I should address the potential TikTok ban on January 19th and why it doesn’t sit right with me at all. 

I believe that the ban is bad. This is somewhat of a polarizing statement, but I genuinely think that banning TikTok would be unconstitutional because it would undermine American users’ First Amendment rights by preventing freedom of speech and expression. The ban would eliminate a significant facet of popular culture, limit how people can make money to provide for themselves and their families, and prevent citizens from accessing a major news source (I’m not saying you should get all of your news from TikTok, but it does help to bring surface level awareness about issues so people can go out and learn more about them). Doing this on speculation is wrong and will significantly prevent communication and the exchange of information that has become vital in society. 

Speculation and National Security Threats: 

The concern about TikTok comes from its owner, ByteDance, headquartered in Beijing and is therefore legally obligated to “turn over data to Chinese authorities on request.” This would mean that sensitive information about American users could be directly accessed by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which could lead to the spread of deliberate misinformation and more sophisticated foreign monitoring of online activity (Espada and Popli par. 3-5). 

To this, I would respond that there is already extreme amounts of misinformation on TikTok within U.S. borders - sensationalist content without actual evidence is an issue. Especially around elections, natural disasters, or events that may trigger an emotional response, there seems to be an uptick in misinformation and disinformation, as people create false news and others repeat what they see because they believe it to be true. Recently, we have seen this with the fires in California and all of the AI videos. This aligns with my point because any foreign misinformation, political propaganda, or sensationalist content would likely be more extreme than but still comparable to the lies already spread on the app for the sake of garnering more views. I cannot deny that political propaganda is dangerous, nor can I deny that the idea of being monitored is extremely frightening, but skeptics and well-informed audiences will do the work to fact-check such content. 

The Spread of Information: 

Because I am not an influencer, my biggest personal gripe with banning TikTok is that it would prevent easy and immediate access to all types of information. Like the internet, TikTok is an incredibly vast information collection about nearly every topic. Look up anything, and you will quickly find infodumps, tutorials, and a large crowd of people who can answer your questions. I was working on an embroidery project yesterday and needed to know how to do a particular stitch. Within thirty seconds, I had my answer and could return to work, saving much more time than if I had gone to Google or this website to ask the same question. 

It’s much more serious than arts and crafts questions, however. On TikTok, people can better understand important events that people in their “real lives” are not offering explanations for. At least for me, this allows for a much more complete account of the event from numerous perspectives, many of which are likely different than my own. Instead of knowing about the event but only understanding how it impacts me, I can form my opinion with reliable firsthand accounts from others and consider how it impacts everyone, not just myself. As a global community, this is invaluable; understanding each other prevents stigma and the pushing of only one narrative. Banning TikTok would eliminate this, leading to a much less knowledgeable audience and self-centered takes on world events. 

Influencers and Creative Spaces: 

This is also an extremely concerning facet of the potential TikTok ban for me. Although I am not an influencer, I understand that thousands of people make their living from TikTok and have no other form of income. I support this fully and think it’s great that people can live comfortably by doing what they love. This is why it’s exceptionally alarming to me to think that if TikTok is banned, these people will be wholly cut off from their careers. Digitally or not, that is not fair to do to someone, though society does not care about that. Twitter user (I am not calling it X because fuck Elon Musk) Spirituali_tea wrote, “So who’s gonna tell the Biden administration that some of us have built our literal careers on TikTok, and if it gets banned, we will actually have nothing?”.

TikTok also serves as a source of income for displaced families, people rebuilding after natural disasters, medical bills, and everyday necessities. For those who say that these creators should “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and get a “real job,” some people simply cannot because they are disabled, homeless, or otherwise displaced or marginalized. It is unfair that we should be so limited in a society so diverse. People rely on this app; if it is taken away, they will be left with nothing. I’ll repeat it: that’s just not right. 

Additionally, people in creative spaces use the app to promote themselves, bring awareness to their content, and make money. Without it, small businesses and creators will likely get less exposure, meaning some people can no longer do what they love. Artists will likely lose the fanbases they’ve built and a source of income. TikToker la.fumettisa shared a video with the caption, “heartbroken over the imminent TikTok ban, loss of community and income for my small business,” and Tiktoker dollrust0 wrote, “I know it’s just a TikTok ban, but it’s hard not to be sentimental about losing what has essentially been my digital diary for years. I felt seen.” TikTok is an essential platform for artists, creative types, and people who, like dollrust0, want to feel seen.

As someone who loves to write and make things but has chosen not to do it professionally, I find this fucked up to the highest degree. Society encourages art yet takes every opportunity to limit it when done professionally. How will artists bring attention to what they do? How many beautiful, amazingly talented people will we miss out on if the ban goes through? I love engaging with people on TikTok, and as a small creator on other platforms, the thought of losing everyone I have met or interacted with makes me unbelievably sad. 

The Potential Power Struggle and Precedent:

Because the legislation around the bill dictates that the app can stay un-banned if it is bought by someone else within a year, there is a potential that someone who has bought other platforms or shown interest in it could buy TikTok, allowing them to control the flow of information in the United States and narrative pushed out to the masses regarding political events, natural disasters, and controversial topics. Like misinformation, there is extreme danger in only one narrative being told. It prevents the varied perspectives I mentioned earlier and allows the people in charge to guide the opinions of American TikTok users (170 million people, by the way) to garner support for their ideals. This is where a ban such as this becomes dangerous and sets a precedent for censorship in that it allows the government to interfere with the speech and writing created by the people.

In a conversation with NBC News, “cyber-diplomat” Chris Painter, who has worked with the Obama administration, says, “If the U.S. was certainly trying to shut down a social media platform or something because they didn’t like what was being said on it, absolutely our moral authority would disappear…it sends the message that this is acceptable…obviously that deserves an outcry (Collier par. 14-16).” The proposed ban directly infringes on the American right to freedom of speech and the press, whether the Supreme Court rules it to be this way or not. If the ban goes through, we will see this again, potentially sooner than we would like. If it can be bought, it is under threat. 

Conclusion:

Again, I must assert that the looming ban on TikTok is terrible for various reasons. I am wholeheartedly against it for the threat it poses to Free Speech and its similarities to authoritarian control tactics seen with fascist governments. TikTok is about more than dancing or brain rot. It is vital to spreading information and interconnection between people worldwide, bringing people together around common interests. People use it to make their lives easier and, in some cases, possible. For the government to make such an issue of one app based on speculation when the threat of large-scale war is immense, California is burning, climate change is worsening, gun violence is rampant, and people are dying because they don’t have the basic resources they need to live is, quite frankly, extremely scary.

It is incredibly disheartening to think that our leaders care more about a “silly dancing app” (TikTok user not_tgg) than all of the loss and devastation in the world. Writing does not seem nearly enough to compensate for what is at risk, but we must be aware of what is happening. I’ll leave you with a quote from whistleblower Edward Snowden: “Your rights matter because you never know when you’re going to need them.”

References: 

Collier, Kevin. "A TikTok Ban Could Embolden Authoritarian Censorship, Experts Warn." NBC News, 17 Mar. 2024. NBC News, www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/tiktok-ban-embolden-authoritarian-censorship-experts-warn-rcna143476. Accessed 12 Jan. 2025.

Espada, Mariah, and Nik Popli. "Why the U.S. and Other Countries Want to Ban or Restrict TikTok." TIME. TIME, time.com/6263851/why-us-wants-to-ban-tiktok/. Accessed 12 Jan. 2025.

I have fact-checked all of the information in here to the best of my abilities and would never deliberately spread misinformation, but please correct me if I missed or should add anything. Feel free to reply, but please be polite, even if we share different opinions.

[heal-the-ashes]

Hey, Ashe! How're you doing? Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope everything is fine <3

Hi, anon. I wouldn't of checked this but accidentally clicked tumblr and saw the notif. To everyone, I will be using this ask as an update. Hope you don't mind anon.

But thanks for asking. I'm doing more things for college. I had to cut off a toxic friendship that I've had for like 7 years. And now I'm trying to focus on myself. It's a lot harder than I wish it to be, but it's okay. I will also note that the "cut off" time really was a whole situation that spanned across 2-3 months. I cannot sometimes believe that cutting toxicity off took that long to fully sort out, and it stil isnt even fully sorted out yet. But they will be eventually.

Anyway, I got into a new game while I was gone. I want to start posting about it but this is a Layton centered blog… People won't mind if I branch out right?

Speaking about Layton. The series. I hate to say it but I'm a really emotionally sensitive person. It doesn't help that the friend I disconnected with sort of was connected to my experiences regarding the PL series.

It's a special interest and I talked about it a lot with the friend. It's the series that saved my life in more ways than one. It's a series that has and will continue to change my life.

This also means I get overwhelmed easily regarding it. I feel things that I didn't know were possible. I feel things that I have locked away and left behind for years now. It is very crazy and I am thankful. But it's very stimulating at the same time.

Being apart of an online community centered around it has made me realize many things about myself. Most of that is how much I relate to (insert character names here). I have struggles with self perception and delusions regarding fictional medias and characters. This series is no exception, and is actually a series that is the only one that has the most DAs and/or relations (if I am able to use the first term. I am not clinically diagnosed with anything regarding this yet. But I intend on getting professional help, appointments just take a long time to get. Really sorry if I misused it.)

So seeing things—Even happy things, even the most wonderful headcanons and art about characters being happy—have the ability to, and often do, bring me to intense emotions. Crying is the most common one. These characters often represent comforting relations that I never felt like I had, or that I struggle having in my real life. Among other things. Scary things. "Memories" that were not from my life. Not to say that all memories of that manner are bad, but some are terrifying. It also doesn't help that I already have a probable dissociative disorder and we could be a system. My identity is fractured in more ways than one and I feel like the medias and things I love are out to kill me sometimes. But I still love it. I wouldn't be in this amazing (comparatively) place without any of it, canon and fanon.

I am only being honest because I feel like you all deserve to know. People here are so nice and friendly and I owe so many people for bringing my life to a better and more positive place, even if I don't usually talk about what I'm dealing with.

Oftentimes, I'm terrified of sharing my personal ideas. They're related to the things above. They're related to the system. They're related to dreams that I had to calm down from or tell myself isn't real. I doubt anyone would attack or hurt me because of them.

But there's always fear. And one of the main things about how I'm trying to be the best version of myself is trying to either get rid of fear or keep going in spite of it. There are other, more complicated things, but. It's okay.

Another thing is that—Even if I did the "daily drawing" thing. I didn't even get to day 5 or something. I kept forgetting if I posted something. I keep forgetting if I do things. It sort of really stresses me out.

So sorry for the terribly long response. And for the long update.

I don't even know if I want to post or not. I do, I really do. I'll get there.

But anyway. Thanks again for the ask. And sorry again for the incredibly long update. I hope everyone's been okay and things have been going well. Thank you, everyone, for the support so far and all the comments on the other update post. I really mean that and I hope a genuine tone gets through.

/gen /srs update.

The game I got into is called Nier: Automata by the way, if anyone knows it. Might start posting about it… I too have rather incredibly strong feelings about it too. Anyway. I'll send this now.

[jjungkooksthighs]

"Ah, but you like it when I have your hands behind your back." He counters, one hand bracing him by one side of her head and the other grappling her wrists above it. "You like feeling helpless and at my complete mercy." She struggles futilely in his grasp, her intentions obvious in the lack of strength she puts into it.

He snickers, the sound smoother than any wine while her ears drink it. "I let you win in many ways, my love. You just don't appreciate them," he slots one knee between her legs, urging it toward her sex so she can feel the muscled pillar of him in lieu of what bulges in his trousers.

Golden discs of eyes afflict her in their beauty, and she cannot help being enveloped in their rays that light her core on fire.

The moment it pushes against her sensitive folds, her neck arches back, eyes closing at the sheer broadness and rigidness of him while her hips, without any shame, undulate against it in search of friction.

"You won me over long, long ago, my love," he groans at the sensation of wetness that soon soaks the fabric around his knee as she rides his leg in an erotic dance of her hips. "You have no idea how you have utterly enslaved me," warm lips cover hers, and with her sense of sight gone, the sensation is magnified as he covets them slowly, softly, and lightly as velvet.

They drape themselves down under her lip, "You have enslaved me in soul and in body," his mouth descends the column of her throat, "and you have condemned my mind to want and think only of you. Tell me, my love, what is that but hopeless defeat against the overwhelming power of you?"

The way he holds her wrists above her head in just one hand of his makes her nearly squeal with excitement, for the size difference never fails to make her feel.. safe. Protected. Comforted. It's but a small display of the amount of power he really hold over her. Despite her admittedly petty little whines, there's no hiding the fact that she absolutely loves it when he displays his strength. He's capable of so much, and yet, he chooses to remain with her, gentle, docile.. and oh so loving. She might complain about him being the absolute tease that he is, but it's not a new fact to anyone that she can't help the way it sends the butterflies in her stomach fluttering about, absolutely frenzied. When his lips touch hers again, she can't help the mewl that escapes her at the feeling, her insides churning deliciously when she feels him place his knee between her thighs, spreading her legs apart with control and strength only he could display so gracefully. "Alpha.." she stutters. "You have enslaved me in soul and in body," his mouth descends the column of her throat, "and you have condemned my mind to want and think only of you. Tell me, my love, what is that but hopeless defeat against the overwhelming power of you?" She has the perfect response to that. "That's nothing when compared to what you make me feel, alpha." she challenges. "My mind literally goes blank, empty of thoughts and basic words when you're around." she blushes. "I can't count on my fingers now the number of times I've felt my knees nearly give up at the mere sight of you when I'm teaching the pups at school." A sight leaves her lips when she feels him knead his hands into the supple skin on her waist. "Admit it. What you come there for has hardly anything to do with looking over the pack." she rather boldly claims. "It's a school! Things never ever go south there." She giggles. "You're there simply to be a fucking tease-" she cuts herself off by jerking her head forward in an effort to nip at his ear lightly, making him hiss. "all because you know just how weak you make me with a single glance from you. With a single call of my name in that beautiful voice of yours." she accuses. "All because you know just how powerless I really am against you, alpha."

“Tease that I am, I have my reasons for coming to see my beloved mate while she is hard at work,” the words are spoken between kisses down the column of her throat, “I have to make sure that you and your pups that you care for are all safe,” the wet sound of his lips loving on her is hot even to her own ears while his tongue peeks from his lips and licks a long stripe down the base of her throat. “I also have to do something about the craving I feel for you that is only satisfied when I see you in there so focused and so fucking beautiful.” That mouth of his glides down until it settles between her collarbones, a soft brush of lips against her flesh there before he asks, “Do you have any idea how hard you make me when you have one of those heavy tomes in your hands with your hair up while you read to the little ones?” The soft pillows of his mouth cushion her where he lays them in their descent down between the bed of her breasts.”Have you any idea how arousing you are when you bend over one of those little desks with a stack of parchment and quill in your hand? How sexy you are when you go to your desk and sit down on it while you lean back on your hands? Gods,” he curses while tongue cradles the side of one of her breasts, “I so badly want to give you a child of our own when I see you like that. I just want to fuck your stresses and cares away until you’re glowing for me.” 

She releases a stuttered moan when that hot, long, and pink muscle between his lips curls and bends over and around the edge of her other breast, the saliva he leaves behind gleaming depravedly along her chest as she breathes laboriously. 

“J-Jungkook,” His name is ripped from her mind by her wolf, her baser self refusing to be quiet right now when he’s got his knee flush against her sex, his mouth attached to her breast, his affirmations and promises of domination all winding her up like some kind of fucking wind-up toy. 

“What, my love? What is it?” He questions all too innocently, his mouth dipping under one breast so he can trace its underside with that devastating tongue. Everywhere it goes, the warm flame of need is left in its wake.

"You," she gasps when that hot length of his tongue moves with his mouth just a little bit higher- "you know what, my king."

The name makes him seize the pink bud of her nipple between his lips with a new kind of voracity, the name she'd used for him rousing his own wolf's pride.

"Tell me what you desire and it will be as you say, my queen."

[y3ahwhat3ver]

Been seeing this over and over and it's sort of been annoying me but. Valentino and Alastor are not even remotely comparable. Like. Look I may be a bit biased bc I like Alastor and don't like Valentino beyond the funny moments he has but like.

Okay. Alastor sucks. Like he's a violent dickhead but part of that is that he's very restrained in his violence. The only times we see him do anything outright violent are when he/the hotel are under attack and then his one moment with Husk. His relationship with Husk gets brought up a lot when people make the comparison but to me like.

Throughout the show you see Husk talk shit to Alastor, literally all of the time. He heavily dislikes him (in my opinion a major part of that is bitterness over losing his own title just to become subservient to Al) but he doesn't ever really seem scared of him, beyond the one moment. He and Alastor have known eachother for years and it's pretty clear to me that Alastor sort of just. Let's him say whatever as long as he doesn't hit A Limit. Alastor's own contract is something he's very clearly sensitive about and Husk bringing that up when he was already in a bad mood. I'm not saying the way he treats Husk in this scene is good, or right but just that it makes sense in context.

I guess what really does it for me is Niffty as well? Like it's so clear she loves Al, quite literally crawling all over him and crowning him. They have a very sweet relationship in the show. She's comfortable enough with him to freely speak about her own feelings ("I really like them Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing")

You just get the sense that like. Alastors relationship with his contractee's is. Maybe not the most outright friendly but it's not inherently violent.

And then you compare that to Valentino. Valentino is violent, but worse he's impulsive. And also kind of an idiot. Like the first time we see him it's Velvette calling Vox to come deal with him bc the man is on a rampage and killing her models. He has to be talked down from going to the hotel and killing everyone there. (Already a bad idea image wise but like. With the literal Princess of Hell in that hotel it's like. What was your plan for after that Val. What was your plan for after you attacked the only heir to the throne, the literal daughter of the devil. Christ.)

The difference here is that the only contractee we see him interact with is Angel Dust, and their relationship is fraught with abuse. Physical, sexual, and psychological. Valentino enables his drug addiction because it makes Angel more compliant. Even when he is not being violent towards Angel himself, he's still perpetuating that violence through the work he has Angel do (literally the everything about Poison makes me kind of sick to watch. Tbh, like great song but i cannot watch the mv without getting kind of upset. And look there's a conversation in there about sex work, and specifically SAFE sex work but that's not really what this post is.)

Like. There's literally a line in the show about Angel being WATERBOARDED at work. ("You know, Val, he's into that waterboarding shit now - I don't know, it's a kink." - episode 6 welcome to heaven) And this is JUST Angel's perspective. You don't see Valentino's other contracts but from the way Angel is treated, it's kind of clear that he does shit like this to anyone under his control, and thus anyone who cannot tell him No.

Look. You get the sense that Alastor is a dick, but there's no implication that he takes Niffty and Husk out back and beats them when he's aggravated (with them or otherwise.) We literally watch Valentino assault and threaten Angel because there is someone stronger than him [Valentino] who is trying to get him out of work.

[Edit (June 2nd, 2024): I want to clarify that I do like loser, baby and also Husk as a character and this is more abt my grievances with fandom comparing the two. In series, Angel needed that discussion with Husk and even thought their situations aren't 1:1 or even really that similar, it's still clear that Husks attempt to like. Empathize with him worked for Angel. That is all, thank u and goodnight]

[atarahderek]

Today on: INFP or ADHD?

Perspective taking

I get weekly bonus traits from Genomelink, and this week's trait is as follows:

I find this to be accurate to me. I can see things from others' viewpoints, but that's a skill I had to learn. It does not come naturally to me. So I have to consciously remind myself to slow down and listen, and try to understand where the other person is coming from.

Believe it or not, that is an Fi thing (ftr, I call it "eff-aye," not "fie" or "fee").

Or possibly a neurodivergent thing.

Let me explain...

Fi is kind of self-centered.

Introverted Feeling (Fi) is an analytical function, but what it analyzes are emotions and emotional experiences. Especially in the user. It is the idealism function and has its own idea of how the world should be. It is the moral core function. It is the function that makes the user adhere firmly and stubbornly to their own identity. It does not like compromise, especially on what it perceives to be a moral issue. The Fi-dom in particular has their worldview set in stone by a certain age and they'll be darned if they so much as entertain someone else's. This is why we're kind of easy to offend. Pick on us directly and we'll take it because we value harmony and being able to control our own emotions (we save them for when we want to write you as a character in our stories and then brutally kill that character off). But attack some person, ideal or issue near and dear to our hearts and we'll fly off the handle. And often it does not matter whether that attack is coming from pain or how calm and respectful your argument is. All we see is the attack itself and we lash out. We have to learn not to do this.

Contrast Ti, which is analytical on all fronts and will take an interest in other perspectives purely because they exist. Or Fe, which hears out the other side because it literally cannot do anything else. As the empath function, it feels what the other person is feeling the moment the user is in close proximity to the other person. And it seeks to know more about the source of that feeling so that it can manipulate it to its advantage (Fe can be devious). So for Fe/Ti users, perspective taking comes as naturally as breathing.

So the fact that perspective taking is not an inborn skill for me is definitely the result of my dominant Fi. Unless it's actually the result of ADHD. Because...

ADHD has rejection and anger management issues.

People with ADHD tend to have short tempers compared to neurotypicals. This is because the ADHD brain can be overwhelmed with too much information due to limited working memory (the RAM of the brain) and a deficit in the hormone dopamine which is required to motivate the brain to get to work processing information. This causes the individual to lash out in an attempt to get the flow of information to slow down, organize itself or cease altogether. People with ADHD also internalize all kinds of negative messages about themselves, and that can cause outbursts of anger. When you're angry and overwhelmed with information that you physically cannot process properly, you tend not to listen to people around you. Even if you could focus on what they're saying, you're not going to really hear them when your working memory is overloaded.

ADHD also causes rejection sensitivity. This can create problems in an argument. A person with ADHD can do just fine in a civilized debate. But if the debate becomes a heated argument, ADHD starts to get in the way. The opponent starts to take offense and go on the attack, and that's a clear case of rejection of the other person's viewpoint. This can cause the person with ADHD to either respond in kind and escalate the conflict, or shut down altogether and walk away. Neither response allows the person to hear their opponent's perspective. And it can permanently damage the relationship, as the person with ADHD will often try to avoid the person who rejected their viewpoint so as to avoid a similar conflict.

Undiagnosed neurodivergent people can sometimes be clued into their condition by their inability to consistently practice perception taking. Even if it's a skill they've worked hard to learn, the fact that they still fail at it sometimes can indicate that there's something going on upstairs that's a little more beyond their control than they realize. There may be an underlying cause to your inability to see through another's eyes, and it's not because of some personality flaw.

What do you think? INFP or ADHD?

For my part, I think both my dominant Fi and my ADHD are contributing factors in having to learn and actively practice perspective taking rather than coming by it naturally. I have learned how to do it, and yet I still struggle sometimes to do it when I'm blinded by anger. It's a trap anyone can fall into, but it's definitely something I think the Fi user with ADHD is the most prone to.

[waterfallofspace]

A Little Game, A Lot Of Torture. 

The one in which G/ojo has been a bit of a (loveable) prick, so his friends decide to hold a little contest to see who can get him back the best. Contest rules? Whoever makes him sneeze the most in one attempt wins, you can’t get his help, you can only use one method. Let the games begin! (Do I have requests I should be working on instead? Yes. Was this idea haunting my every waking hour until I finally agreed to write it? Also yes. I promise I’ll get back to requests tomorrow &lt;;3) Takes a minute to get into heavy snz stuff, but hopefully it's still enjoyable! (credits to @snzdreams for the breathtaking headcanon that even talking about sneezing gets G/ojo going, and I hope it’s okay that I borrowed your genius to use in this <3 and doubly hope it's okay that I tagged you in it <33) Also I want to clarify: while they were all in the same class in highschool, this is set post-graduation, imagining a future where they all still hang out. (AU technically I guess haha~) Just making it clear, everyone in this story is meant to be an adult. Picture early 20’s. Characters: G/eto, S/hoko, and G/ojo. Plus a bit of S/atosugu Word Count: 4.1k (whoops-)

(References to swearing in case anyone doesn't like that!)

~~~~~~~

The rules were agreed upon the day before, Geto insisting that they needed to be clear.

Rule #1: You only get one attempt. If you fail, or he manages to avoid/subdue the attempt, it’s over. You don’t get a second try. If you get subpar results, same as before, no second tries. Amendment added by Shoko: number of sneezes only counts from the first couple minutes. If said attempt results in sneezing for the rest of the day, those are not to be counted.

Rule #2: Gojo is not to be informed of this, or asked for assistance of any kind. You cannot ask him for a list of what makes him most sneezy, you must use your knowledge of him to come up with your own methodology. 

And finally, Rule #3: You can only use one method. Said ‘method’ can include multiple inducing tools, so long as they’re considered one ‘attempt’. Ie. Multiple scented candles at once, or a bouquet of flowers are both considered one method. However, flowers and candles at the same time would be considered two. Amendment added by Geto: Helping him along with words doesn’t count as a method, and is therefore fair play. 

With those in place, Geto and Shoko got to work, each with an idea in mind. 

In order to not taint results the attempts will be held three days apart to give Gojo’s nose time to get back to baseline before the next attempt begins. Shoko is up first. Let the games begin! 

~~ Shoko’s Attempt ~~

‘I’m at a disadvantage. I know Gojo, he’s my friend, they both are, but I’ll never know him the way Geto does. He’ll always know more of Gojo’s quirks, especially since they’re so obviously in love. They both deny it, but the looks they share when they think no one can see tells a different story. If not dating, the feeling is at least mutual.’ 

Shoko pauses her musing, letting a smile take over as she waves to the boys, starting her approach with a hand in her bag. ‘Always together, even when I’m not around. I know they care for me, but the bond they share will always be one step deeper.’ Despite this, she has a plan. Earlier she wrote out a list of what she remembers Gojo showing reactions to in the past, eliminating anything less than a full attack. 

‘He’s quite sensitive, it doesn’t take much to set him off, but getting an actual fit from him is a touch more rare. Normally he has quite the exaggerated buildups, long and hitchy, which he makes a lot of noise about, but the actual sneezing is minimal. At least, compared to the results I’m looking for. No, I need something more than a simple sensitivity. If it was Geto I’d blow smoke in his face, but that’d only prompt a minor reaction out of Gojo.’ 

“Hiya Shoko, take a seat! Geto here was just sharing the mochi he bought!”

“I bought it for myself, you just stole half when my back was turned.” 

“Come on, we both know if you put something sweet in front of me I’m gonna eat it.” 

Shoko seats herself next to Gojo, sharing a glance with Geto when he’s distracted by the sweets once more. A darker tone dips into Gojo’s voice as he lets his sunglasses fall so Geto can see his eyes, a mischievous haze clouding them. 

“You knew the risks, now you pay the price.”

“The price being my mochi?”

“Exactly! Now you’re catching on~.”

With that, Gojo grabs another one, laughter bubbling out as Geto attempts, and fails, to smack his hand away. However, before he can pop it in his mouth, he freezes, hand inches from his face. His breath catches, nose twitching. Shoko finds Geto’s eyes darting over to her, and she offers a slight shake of the head. ‘Nope, not my attempt, this is all him.’ Geto starts to speak, eyes flickering back over to Gojo.

“You alri-” 

“heHh-! hah’adJSHhh’iew-! hep’gshh’iew-!”

“Blessings.” 

“Guhhh- thank you.”

Shoko takes her turn to speak, eager to ascertain any possible advantages. ‘If he’s sick his nose will be extra sensitive, and I may be able to cinch this win. Especially given Geto needing to wait three days, ideally the window of sensitivity will have passed.’ 

“Feeling okay?” 

“Indeed. This is just the price I must pay for being so talented- huEH’djZShh’uu-! I can't be perfect in every aspect, that would just be unfair!”

“Come again?”

Geto rolls his eyes, gesturing to the sky as he turns his gaze back to Shoko once more. Gojo meanwhile wipes a few tears from his cheeks, groaning lightly at the quickly increasing watery nature of his eyes. 

“He’s just allergic to the sun.” 

“I am not allergic- I’m just a tad sensitive to bright lights. Christ this is annoying.”

“Was the mochi really worth it?”

“Suguru Geto, don’t you talk like that! Mochi is always worth it!”

The eagerness has quickly faded out, Shoko letting an airy sigh press out between her pursed lips. ‘Right, I did know about this. I believe it’s called a photic sneeze response? He’s had it for as long as I’ve known him, though I believe he said it’s gotten worse the more he wears those glasses. Blocking out the light so much of the time only adds to his sensitivity when it inevitably breaks through. However, it causes very few sneezes, he said the main issue is his eyes watering.’

“If you touch the last piece I’m making you buy me a new one.”

“Aw- that’s not faiiiir!” 

“Boys, boys, let’s not fight. I have a better solution.”

With that, Shoko swipes the last piece, grinning at the complaints from the guys as she places it against her tongue, savouring the sweet taste. Her mind dips back to her plan as Gojo starts to whine about being hungry again. 

‘He’s incredibly sensitive, even the mention of sneezing is enough to get his nose itchy. Describing how much it must tickle is fair game, but on its own, pretty ineffective. He’s annoyingly good at holding back when he wants to be, so if he catches on that sneezing is what I want, he’ll do everything in his power not to. I just need him to think I’m teasing him for his reaction, can’t let him read deeper into my motives.’ 

“Shoko?” 

“Hm?”

Her name pulls her back into the conversation, both Geto and Gojo watching her closely, a lopsided grin spreading across Gojo’s mouth. ‘Oh, I’m going to enjoy wiping that smug look off his pretty-boy face.’  Gojo speaks up again, Geto’s eyes following her movements as she casually lets her hand dip back into her bag. 

“I was asking if you’d want to come with us to the mall, DiverCity specifically? I’ve been craving chocolates that they sell at one of the stores for days.” 

“Funny you mention it, I was just thinking about that place earlier. I’d love to come, but I have an assignment. Next time though, yeah?”

“Aw fiiiine, but Geto, you’re still coming, right?”

“Sure, why not. I could use a few things.” 

Shoko tunes out again, hand tightening around a bottle as she lets a smirk spread across her face. ‘Funny he mentions the mall, seeing as that’s exactly where I got my method from.’ The last time they’d gone together she’d been showing him around a store he’d never been to before. It specializes in calming methods, and given how stressful being a Jujutsu sorcerer can be, she finds herself drawn there often.

An employee next to them had been showing a few people a new pillow spray, and as soon as they’d spritzed it, Gojo had been bent over into his arm with a rapid fit. She’d had to drag him out of the store. ‘Quite embarrassing at the time, especially given how whiny he can get during an attack, but now? Now I’ll get to use that spray to get payback.’ 

“Hey, Gojo.”

She cuts into their conversation with ease, used to interrupting them. ‘With those two, someone is always talking. If you wait for a pause, you’ll never get a word in.’ Gojo turns to her with a curious look, across the blanket Geto mimics it, a hint of something deeper flashing through his eyes. She gives him a quick nod, smirk quickly spreading across his face as he attempts to cover it. 

“You know how I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping recently? I found a new spray that has been really helping. I thought you might want to have a look at it, I know you sometimes struggle with insomnia too.”

“Oh, that’s kind of you, yeah show me- show me- show me!” 

‘Kind isn’t quite the word I’d use, but I appreciate your excitement anyways.’ Pulling it from her bag, she’s unsurprised at the lack of recognition in his eyes. He’s never been one for cataloging irrelevant information, and for some reason he’d decided keeping a list of everything that sets him off was irrelevant.

Taking off the cap, she gives him an open smile, before spraying it right in front of his face. ‘Can’t risk actually hitting him, that would be too suspicious, but I want it to get as close to his nose as possible.’ The result, much to her delight, is instantaneous. 

“hhaHhHH-! Wh- whAhht- what kind of sp- spra… sprayisthat… heH’gnDZShh’uuhh-!”

“Something wrong?”

“I think I’m- eH’GNDZSHh’uu-! I think- heHASIhh’oo-! ah’gehhzshh’iew-!”

“Are you okay?” 

Geto’s watching carefully, Shoko’s sure he’s keeping count in his head. Still, needing Gojo to believe her facade, she offers sympathy, pulling a travel pack of tissues out of her bag. ‘Tissues that just so happen to be sprayed with the allergen. Still only counts as one method, according to the rules.’

“Y- yeah- hAgzshh’uu-! knDzshh’iee-! Oh, scus- scuseme- heHhh-!”

“Here, take these, you sound like you need them.”

“Th… thhhehHh- thank you- hH’GUHzshh’oo-! aiYISHH’oo-! aHH’DNGZSHh’uu-! Oh god…” 

“Blessings, Gojo.”

Finally speaking up, Geto catches Shoko’s eye and mouths ‘nine’. She shoots back a whispered ‘so far’, catching a smile in response. Gojo’s too busy tearing into the pack of tissues to notice any of this, bringing one to his nose as he gets a pause in the sneezing. He manages to blow, breathing a sigh of relief, instantly cut short by an itchy inhale. 

“heAHh-! hH’DnZShh’uu-! AYISHH’oo-! KETZSHHH’oo-! What the- henGT-! ainGT’shoo-!”

“Blessings indeed, Gojo. Are you alright?”

“The ti- tihhhckle- heH’kNGDT-! haAHh-! eh’dnZZShh’oo-! Scuse me- the tickle got wo- wo… worse… I’m… I’m gonna… heHh-!” 

Shoko smirks as the tears start pooling in Gojo’s eyes, his nose quivering as it starts to flush a brilliant shade of pink. ‘Time to implement phase two: suggestions. Just gotta be careful not to tip my hand. He’s attempting to stifle, which will only help, it only makes the tickle stronger.’

“You must be allergic to the spray, I’m so sorry, I had no idea!”

“heH-! hh’gndJSHH’uu-! AIYShhh’iew-! heH’DJZSHh’uu-!”

“Oh, bless you. Sounds really itchy, are yo-” 

“hH’DJEZSHh’aa-! Sh- Shoko- waaitt… ahh’keTShh’oo-!” 

“-you feeling it? The burning sensation-” 

“eh’GnDJZSH’aahh-! hAHh’inGKt-!”

“-filling your sinuses? Like a feather, gen-"

“nGEHT’choo-! hePt’choo-! eNgEHP’choo-!”

“-gently brushing the inside of your nose?” 

“heAIISHH’uhh-! eh’GdJZShh’uu-! I need… I’m gonna… I can’t…!”

Geto gives her a pointed look, lightly tapping his wrist. ‘Time’s almost up, time for the home stretch. Gotta make sure I get one last fit outta him. I know exactly what to say.’ Gojo’s nose is pressed into his wrist, trembling with allergic need as the tears keep flowing down his cheeks, seemingly making the tickle even worse as they brush up against the edges of his nose.

“I’m so sorry, Gojo. If I’d have known you were this allergic I never would have sprayed it so close to your nose! I mean, the droplets must have just floated through the air, gently landing on your skin, right on the tip of your nose-”

“Cru- Cruel Shoko- hEH’EDZSHH’uu-! eh’KTZSHhh’aa-! aiYISHH-keATzhh’oo-!” 

With that, Shoko meets Geto’s eyes one last time, mouthing ‘how many?’, quite satisfied by the ‘thirty-two’ she receives in return. Her satisfaction only rises as Gojo ducks into his arm with another tightly stifled burst, Geto raising an eyebrow at the display.

“hH’KNGt’choo-! iNGt’choo-! hah’DNGt’choo-!”

“Blessings, Gojo.”

“Snff- Thank you, Geto. Guhhh… I’m gonna be itc- itchy… hh’GNZshh’iew-! for the rest of the day.” 

Shoko pulls the tissues from Gojo’s lap while his focus is aimed towards Geto, replacing them with a second pack from her bag. ‘As fun as it is to watch you suffer, my attempt is over, no need to prolong the exposure. This reaction is gonna last for most of the day anyways.’ 

“Blow again, it might help dispel some of the allergen.”

“Yeah, good- eh’aISHH’uu-! good idea. Ya know, that may help you sleep, but I’m- heHh-! hEZSHHH’aa-! I’m getting the vague notion it wouldn’t do the same for me.” 

Geto laughs, a smile tearing through Gojo’s itchy face at the sound, Shoko soon joining in. ‘Always one step removed, just outside the joke, but that’s okay. At least for now, I’m in on the joke while Gojo isn’t. I can live with that.’

Final Results: Thirty-Two (32) sneezes from Shoko’s Attempt. Method Use/Application: Linen spray Gojo is allergic to, sprayed in front of face/on tissues presented to him. Sneezy talk was also implemented, increasing success. 

~~ Geto’s Attempt ~~

‘Shoko’s try yielded better results then I was counting on. I may know more about Gojo but some facts escape even my grasp. I had no idea he was so allergic to that spray. However, that wasn’t what set her apart, it’s her cunning. She explained to me after that she sprayed it on the tissues. Truly genius, I would’ve never thought of that.’ 

This time it’s Geto’s turn to approach the duo, eyes closing as he smiles, Gojo giving a shout and Shoko putting out her cigarette. ‘I guess she doesn’t want to be called out for interference. It’s no matter, I don’t plan on letting anything distract me from my attempt. I didn’t have to think long about what to use, just how to best utilize it.’ 

“Geto! Shoko was just telling me about a new type of chocolate she saw the other day! Can we go buy some? Pleaaaase? Pretty please?”

“You still owe me for the last pack I bought you.”

“Aw, come on, you know you wannaaa~! You don’t wanna deny me of my happiness, do you?”

“You can have happiness without chocolates, Gojo.”

“How could you say such things?”

Gojo lets a pout spread over his face, lightly huffing as he leans his head against Geto’s shoulder. ‘Dramatic as always. Though, I guess that’s the reason we came up with this little challenge in the first place. One I’m sure to win with what I have planned.’ His mind starts to drift back to the first time he got to witness Gojo and lavender in the same room. 

They’d been in a meeting together, the higher ups needing something Geto can’t recall now. It’s not of importance, even at the time it was one of the last things on his mind. Front and center was Gojo’s losing battle against the vase of lavender sitting almost mocking him on the table.

Normally, should the situation call for it, Gojo could hold off an allergy attack for hours, or at least upwards of twenty minutes. However, against the lavender he lasted no more than three, needing to leave the room just after seven because he was no longer able to form full words between the sneezing. The higher ups had been quite irritated, but today it would serve Geto well.

“Earth to Geto? Suuuguruuu? You there?”

“Huh?”

“Jeez, what is it with you two lately? Did I miss something, or is it just ‘stare off into the abyss with a smile creeping at your mouth’ season?”

“Sorry, I was just reminiscing.”

“Any particular memory you want to share, Geto?”

Shoko offers, eyes flashing with mischief as Geto sends a dark look in her direction, quickly replaced by a smile as she playfully sticks out her tongue.

“Not at the moment.”

“Oh, I know! Why don’t we play ‘share your favourite memory of Gojo’!” 

“Yeah, no.”

“Aw Shoko, you’re no fun.”

Geto chuckles, ruffling Gojo’s hair as he gazes up from behind his sunglasses. ‘Just placing the lavender near him wouldn’t work. He could either leave the area, or the attack might not surpass thirty-two. The reason it had such a severe effect in the meeting was likely do to the pollen having a chance to gather in that tiny room.’

“Gojo, I have a gift for you.”

“A gift? You shouldn’t have!” 

“Well if you don’t want i-”

“Hey, woah-woah-woah- of course I want it-!”

Reaching into his bag, Geto starts to set his plan in motion. ‘My best chance is getting some form of lavender where I can get it near his nose, close enough for the pollen to have a chance to float around him, but not obvious enough that he’ll just avoid it. I think this is the perfect solution.’

Making direct eye contact with Shoko, Geto sends her a message clearly. ‘My attempt is about to begin, get ready’. His hands grip around the present, placing it gently on Gojo’s head, fighting a smirk at the joy filling Gojo’s eyes.

“A flower crown!?” 

“Yes. You showed me how to make them a while back, and so I made this one myself. I thought you might appreciate it-”

“Suguru… I love it! What kind of flowers are these?”

“Mostly sakura, though I did add a few other plants I found in the area to tie it together.” 

‘If I just used lavender he’d simply take it off when he started sneezing. However, given that it’s not a type of flower he’s allergic to, it won’t be his first thought. Because of that, he’ll be too focused on sneezing to worry about removing it, letting the hidden lavender keep sending wafts of pollen down into his face. Plus, I made sure the sakura was quite pollen soaked. He’s not allergic, but with his nose already being set off from the lavender, the sickly sweet smell is sure to prompt a few extra sneezes.’  

“It’s bea- hEHh-! Oh, scuse me. It’s beautiful.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just thou- ahHh-! Hehh… thought I was… o- oh… I am…. I’m- hH’DjZEShh’oo-!”

“Blessings, Satoru.” 

“iHh’kETChh’uu-! S- sorry I… eH’DtjZSh’iew-! hEh’kezzchh-aiyshhh’aa-knGT’choo-!”

“And again.” 

A glance over to Shoko tells Geto she’s keeping track, fingers tapping against the railing she’s leaning on with every sneeze. Gojo lets out a faint whine, hand coming up to scrub at his nose as tears start dripping from his eyes.

“hH’GNt’choo-! ehH-! Ohfuck- hH’NGT-EINGT-nNGT-knDT’choo-! aINGT’choo-! hAH’DJZSHHEW-!”

“Christ, Satoru, bless you.”

“knngT-! aIghNT’choo-! hH’YEZSHH’aa-! AIYShh’oo-! neH’GEDT’choo-!”

Geto risks another look at Shoko, barely containing his smirk at the dumbfounded expression she’s wearing as Gojo frantically fans his face. ‘I haven’t even started talking about the tickle yet. He’s more allergic than I remembered. I almost feel bad…’ His thoughts are cut off by Gojo pressing his rapidly twitching nose into Geto’s shoulder, hitching against the fabric of his shirt. ‘And that’s why it’s only almost.’

“henGT’choo-! hH’DEHgnT’choo-!”

“You should stop that, you’re not-”

“heH’KNDTZSHH’uhh-! ihh’GNXXZT’choo-!”

“-gonna be able to catch a breath.”

“You- you’re right… Suguru it- it tihhhhckles… hEaHh-! AIYZSZHH’uu-! kuh’MMZSHH’aa-!”

Gojo’s voice is muffled from the congestion already seeping through the cracks, and Geto feels a pang of guilt tear at his heart. It’s quickly replaced by something calmer as Gojo aims the next fit at Geto’s chest, flower crown shaking lightly as he ducks his head, only releasing more pollen. ‘Sorry Satoru, but this is well deserved. Time for a little power of suggestion.’ 

“aH’GnZH’euu-! hehHh-! hH’MMZSHHH’oo-!” 

“Blessings. Those sound quite itchy-” 

“emmpffshh’oo-! hEPT’choo-! ehP’choo-!”

“-don’t they? Something bothering your sensitive-” 

“hHMPPT’choo-! AInGT’choo-! S- Suguru- hNGT’choo-! heH’KDZGT’choo-!”

“-nose? I bet it’s tickling something awful, isn’t it?” 

Meeting Gojo’s watery eyes, Geto lets himself slip right into stage three of his plan, time quickly running out. ‘Knowing him, he should be sensitive enough by now that just the word sneeze will set him off. Let’s try to get a handful more. I believe I’ll win anyways, but better safe than sorry.’

“eNGXXT’choo-!”

“Don’t you just-” 

“hepDT’choo-!”

“-have to…”

“hAhHh-!”

“Sneeze so badly?”

“hAH’ADJZSHH’uu-! keTSCHH’aa-! AIYZSHH’uhh-!”

“Blessings again for those sneezes.”

“I kn- know what…. Ohgod- hEH’EDZSHHEW-! guhhH’DNZSHH’oo-! I know what you’re doing.”

“Doing? I’m simply blessing you as you sneeze.”

“AIYZSHH’oo-! hH’GNkZSHH’uhh-!”

Taking pity on him as Shoko mouths ‘time’s up’, Geto pulls the crown from Gojo’s hair, tossing it to the side as the sneezy man ducks into his arm for another fit. ‘Whoops… maybe I should have removed it a bit sooner…’

“iNGt’choo-! heASHH’oo-! kEtCSHh-aizshh-kezZSHH’uu-!”

“Bless you Satoru…”

“You- hEHnGT’choo-! Sound quite gui- guilty- eh’knSHH’uhh-! Guilty, Suguru. Why ever could- hh’gEZSHH’aa-! Christ… Could that be? Wouldn’t have any-hNGSHH’iew-! Anything to do with my having two allergy attacks in the past four days, would it?” 

Geto’s eyes snap to the floor, a warm tint starting to spread across his cheeks, Shoko chuckling as she lightly pats Gojo’s back, letting her eyes close with a slight huff.

“I think he’s caught us, Geto.” 

“I believe so.” 

“hNNSCHh’iew-! Would someone care to explain to me what’s going on exactly?”

“Of course, but first we should probably get you some allergy medication. There was lavender in the flower crown.”

Gojo’s watery glare meets Geto, his mouth hanging open. ‘Probably less from shock and more for the sake of breathing. I doubt much is flowing through his sinuses right about now.’ Geto can’t help but smile at the sight, pink nose vibrating as Gojo attempts to end the attack by pinching it shut, tears streaming from his gorgeous eyes. ‘If he wasn’t so miserable, I’d want to see this side of him more often, he’s quite adorable like this.’

“I want to be mad bu- knDJZSSH’uu-! But I proooobably deserved this.”

Laughter erupts from the group, Shoko nearly falling over as it bursts from her chest, Geto pulling Gojo closer as they start walking back into the school, explaining the competition to a still sneezing Gojo.

Shoko leads them to her office where she keeps a stash of medications for situations like this. ‘Well, not exactly like this,’ Geto chuckles to himself, ‘I doubt there’s even been a situation quite like this one. Oh, that reminds me-’

“Say, Shoko, I did win, didn’t I? Even not counting-”

“hHNGTshh’aa-!”

“-the bonus ones?”

“Unfortunately, yes. It’s not like I stood a chance in the first place, you two obviously know more about each other.”

“Actually, I didn’t know he was allergic to that spray. That was all you.”

“Huh, really? Interesting. Oh- I guess you want to know the numbers?”

Geto flashes a smile, eyes wrinkling as Gojo whips around with another small fit aimed at the floor. He nods at Shoko, murmuring a blessing against Gojo’s hair as he convulses. 

“heh’gnZSHhh’oo-! eh’kshhh’iew-! heHh-! hAH’DTZShhh’uu-!”

“Again, not counting the extras, you rang in at forty-two. Exactly ten more than mine, surprisingly enough.”

“Oh Christ, that wasn’t counting the ones I- hH’gnZZShh’aa-! I’m still doing?”

A blush spreads across Gojo’s face, one of the strongest sorcerers in the Jujutsu world apparently not immune to embarrassment. Shoko offers a laugh in response, rummaging through her desk until she finds a blister pack, handing it over. Geto grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, passing it to Gojo with another blessing, lightly cupping his face for just a second.

“I saw that, ya know.” 

This time both men blush, Shoka rolling her eyes playfully, then throwing a box of tissues at Geto. Gojo hastily yanks out a handful, blowing his nose with a deep groan before sniffling into the pile.

“Clean him up, will ya? It’s been a long day, I’m headed home.”

“hH’AieZSHH’uu-!”

“Let’s play again some time, shall we, Shoko?”

“Yes, let’s. Next time I’ll beat you for sure.”

“hAH’ZASHH’oo-! How ‘bout next time it’s a free for all? I’d like a little chance for revenge.”

“This was the revenge, Satoru. Ours.”

“Oh fine, but you two owe me some chocolates! Oh- oh, and mochi!” 

Shoko smacks Gojo upside the head as Geto lets a laugh burst from his chest, the other two soon joining in harmony.

The world outside may be a dangerous place for a Jujutsu sorcerer, and the three of them aren’t immune to the stress, but right here, right now, they’re just three friends sharing a laugh.

Final Results: Forty-Two (42) sneezes from Geto’s Attempt. Method Use/Application: Lavender hidden in a flower crown already dripping with sakura pollen. Also used suggestibility, increasing success with sneezy talk.

[simkjrs]

umineko episode 1: inital notes

info: i've finished episodes 1-4 and am currently rereading the question arcs in order to try and crack the mystery before i get to the answer arcs.

i went back through my umineko notes and found my episode 1 write-up from my first read-through! since i'll be posting my question arc theories shortly, i thought it would be fun to share my first round notes for anyone who wants to compare how my ideas have developed.

my first-round notes included:

character summary/evaluation

themes & motifs

unanswered questions

miscellaneous

so without further ado.... please enjoy!

Character Summary/Evaluation

Battler: Our intrepid protagonist, jokester, and contrarian. 

The story tells us that Battler, like Maria, will be “left out of the loop.” Unlike Maria, though, he is cast out of the know-how because of his lack of belief rather than his belief. 

The story shows us that (unlike Kanon) while he is aware of “roles” he doesn’t exactly “subscribe” to them, as seen when he casually helps Kanon complete his duties despite them being guest and servant. His strength is that he barrels through roles and boundaries like the world’s most tactless elephant, allowing him to move against the flow of things even when all the odds seem stacked against him. His greatest mistakes in the story occur whenever the people around him manage to persuade him to “play along” with “the mood” or the expected “roles.”

In a way, Battler acts kind of like a joker or fool figure in the story. His impudence and lack of regard for the rules occasionally grants him great insight and at other times means his bumbling is excused because of how it amuses the Powers That Be. 

It’s brought up multiple times that he looks grown up but hasn’t changed on the inside at all, which undoubtedly plays into the story’s ideas about time. 

Maria: The most interesting contrast to Battler so far. She shares his stubbornness and gets along with him very well. 

Like Battler, Maria is “left out of the loop,” but this is because of her sincere belief in what can’t be simply seen. As such the story shows and tells us repeatedly that Maria’s narrative role is someone who tells the truth but is never believed, sort of a Cassandra role in a way. Naturally, she is the Witch’s Messenger, and since people don’t believe in the witch they will not believe her either. Notably, during the first twilight, she is the only one who doesn’t “see” the death of someone close to her. 

In contrast to Battler, who looks grown but acts young, Maria is someone who looks young and “acts old” (her “other persona”). 

The most sensitive to what is “here” but cannot be seen. 

Rudolf: Battler’s dad. A bit of a casanova, a prankster. He often says one thing but means another. It’s said that Battler acts a lot like him. 

George: Battler’s cousin, an adult, a businessman, and a good friend. He is concerned with image and pretense, but also with control. From what I can read from the narrative, later in the story, a great lie of his will be unveiled, ultimately breaking others’ trust in him. 

His willingness to “order” Shannon to pursue her feelings for him does not suggest anything good. 

As the most adult of the children, George is on the verge of entering the adults’ world, but also is not fully out of the childrens’ world. The mix of immaturity and confidence that he knows what he’s doing may lead to his downfall later. 

Still trying to figure up what is up with those glasses. What does it mean when we can’t see your eyes George. Go on and tell me. 

Uncle Hideyoshi: Guy who loves and values family deeply. He tries to smooth things over in the family by cracking jokes and changing the subject, things like that, but that is really just dealing with the symptoms rather than addressing the root cause. His ultimate downfall in chapter 1 is simply the fact that he loved Eva enough to join the Ushiromiya family. 

I feel like his problem can be read from the problems with his business: the things he loves are about to be snatched away due to his earnestness and sincerity, and he doesn’t have the ability to prevent it. 

Aunt Eva: George’s mom and Rudolf’s older sister. She seems to want power and acknowledgment, and maybe due to resentment, takes it out on Natsuhi. Her martial artist prowess hasn’t really been a topic of discussion in the story that much yet. 

She regrets dragging Hideyoshi and George into her selfish battles and desires. This is just my suspicion, but if she one day finds her self-worth elsewhere and sacrifices for their sake instead, maybe she will be able to change her story. 

An aggressive person who tries to assert power and/or control by going on the offensive and tearing others down. 

Kyrie: Rudolf’s second wife. She taught Battler a lot about chess. Unfortunately, she’s not one of the “players” in the family. 

Aunt Rosa: Thoughtful, conscientious, and dutiful. She lived well in the Ushiromiya family by not rocking the boat. However, she is frustrated with Maria for not facing reality. The tension between Rosa and Maria is the tension between someone for whom “fantasy” is both necessary and a reality, and someone for whom “fantasy” is a destructive force that shouldn’t be indulged. Noteworthy: Rosa acting on her desire – or perhaps, a “fantasy of possibility” – of cornering Krauss and gaining money also leads to a rather sad fate in chapter 1. 

Jessica: Wants to escape the island but is also determined to carry her burden until she dies. I don’t think you can do both of those at once. Ultimately, she loves her family and doesn’t want to be alone, but her tendency to overreact and speak from emotion means she might damage her relationships in the future… 

Aunt Natsuhi: She loves her family deeply and would move mountains for them. If they made an effort to reach out to her, surely things could be repaired. Jessica had this chance, but who knows if Krauss did. In any case, her love is rarely seen, appreciated, and returned. In chapter 1, her end comes about because she wants to protect her family without allowing weakness, which results in Jessica thinking she decided to leave her behind. I think her story will change when her love is fully seen & returned, and that has to start with letting other people see her weakness and her efforts, which she thinks she must hide. Her fate may be fully turned around once her relationship with Jessica is repaired. 

A few times, she falls into the trap of “isolating herself” in a room – first the night she sleeps with Jessica’s charm on the door knob (a connection that saved her), again when she locked herself and the children bar Maria in Kinzo’s study (which doomed them). She thinks that isolation, walls, and barricades will protect and grant her relief. This is the greatest trick! 

Uncle Krauss: Jessica’s father, Rudolf’s older brother, a bully and a liar. I don’t have a good read on his “story” either. 

Kumasawa Chiyo: Gossipy, rumor-loving, and a jokester. Socially savvy and with her own principles. I haven’t really been able to get a read on her “story.” 

Gohdo: A flashy, showy guy who skirts responsibility and has something of a pride/inferiority complex. Rather like his food, he’s the sort of guy who wants to be consumed well (narratively, literally, whatever). I prescribe him with “guy who wants to curry favor with the power structure rather than climbing it, fighting it, or stepping outside of it.” 

Kanon: He seems to have a good idea of what it means to be a “servant,” so we can kind of look at him as someone who sees through the “pretense” in a way. As such, he is an excellent “observer,” but it also doesn’t save him from being or becoming a “participant.” Being able to see how the story is supposed to go doesn’t mean he has the ability to avert it. 

He acts according to his role because he has a clear understanding of the “roles” around him. However, we also see that without Shannon, he doesn’t see any reason to ascribe to this role. On the other hand, when Shannon is around, he dutifully wants to help her fulfill her role as well as fulfill his own. 

As with Shannon, the one time he steps out of his “role” in the story, he is punished for it (death).  Before this, Shannon reigned him in from trying to step out of his role. 

Kinzo: The family head. I feel like everything I have to say about him is obvious. 

Nanjo Terumasa: The physician who can’t cure anyone. He diagnoses Kinzo but cannot treat him due to Kinzo’s stubbornness. He can’t intervene in the underlying issues of the Ushiromiya family. He can assess the bodies but can’t prevent the deaths. The one time he treats someone in the chapter, Kanon, he fails to save him. Similar to Kanon, he has an “observer’s” role. Kanon accepts the script as it is. Nanjo can see when something is wrong, but he is ultimately powerless to improve the situation. From the chess metaphors, we can also view him as someone who understands the rules of the game but still can’t play it. When Nanjo gains the power to change something in the story, that will be when he also gains power over his own “fate.” 

Genji: Head Servant. I don’t have a good read on his “story” yet.  

Shannon (Sayo): Kanon’s older sister and George’s love interest.

In the story, she receives the blame and consequences for things that she did not do. The picture-perfect innocent bystander, whose only crime is being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with a sincere heart. 

Shannon easily goes along with what she thinks she should do and doesn’t want to think about her autonomy or control over her life. Therefore, unlike Kanon, she acts according to her role not because she believes in or chooses it, but because she hasn’t really thought about what else to do. 

The few times Shannon makes her own choices in the chapter, she is punished for it.

She is kind of like a stalking goat for luring out the feelings of others.

Ushiromiya family overall: This is a family that tries to brush aside or hide everything without addressing the root cause. In other words, appearances > truth. Maybe this is why most of them were so easily taken in by the witch. 

Themes & Motifs

Belief: One of the most key things that Chapter 1 tells us about the story is that believing someone is not just a matter of evidence but also of feeling. For the spiritually sensitive, like Maria, “feeling” is enough to believe without evidence. For normal people, having evidence is enough for them to “feel” the truth. However, for the spiritually insensitive like Battler, “evidence” alone is not enough for them to “feel” the truth.

One can extrapolate that it isn’t the story that needs to change, but the circumstances or atmosphere in which it is told and consumed – just like how, to enjoy Gohda’s dinner, they didn’t just need good food but a good mood. It’s not just the substance that is important, but the presentation and mood and heart. 

Faces: Many of the victims’ faces were destroyed, and to comfort themselves, the survivors said that their loved ones would want to remember them with a complete smile on their face. Kinzo also does drastic things because he wants to see Beatrice’s smile again. In a way, we can see the good and bad sides of ascribing values to our memories of people we’ve lost. 

Gold: The object of desire. If you just had gold, you would be able to do everything you want to do, achieve everything you crave, hold everything you desire, be who you want to be. Beatrice the Golden, who grants wishes. The Golden Land, where you can get back what has been lost. So on and so forth. 

The problem, of course, is what people will do in order to obtain that “gold.” Kinzo would sacrifice his whole family. The siblings would all throw each other under the bus and betray their father. Etc. Etc. 

In the first ???, Bernkastel notes that Beatrice is dangerous because she has nothing in her but zeros; when she rolls the die, she doesn’t desire any specific result, and therefore, Bernkastel can’t do anything against her. In a way, Beatrice will be most in danger when she finally has an outcome she desires (or lets herself want an outcome?) 

Devils: Obviously, Beatrice as the “devil” in “making a deal with the devil.” However, there’s also the theme about the Devil’s Proof. Actually, it’s rather interesting: for other people, creating a situation with a “lack of proof” is enough to prove her existence as a witch. However, Battler has her in a sort of devil’s contract too, because for him, a lack of proof of human ability is not enough to prove “human inability” (and hence, inhuman ability). 

Natsuhi also says she would become the worst devil if she could protect her daughter. George previously argued that you must do terrible things if you want to defend the rights and livelihoods of the people you care about or who depend on you, and Genji claimed Kinzo was in love with Beatrice (devil). So let’s ponder the connection between love and devilry for a little while. I think maybe the lesson here is simply that uneven and unequal love will result in very bad things. 

Games, or, Skill vs. Luck: The narrative draws a couple of big parallels between everyone’s circumstances/lives and games. First is chess and shogi, games of skill. Second is roulettes, bets, etc., which are games of luck. Battler tries to understand the “roulette” with the logic of a “chessboard.” I think this also hearkens back to some of the questions the story has presented us with fate. Did people die the way they did because they were fated to, or because they were unlucky, or because they played unskillfully? Either way, everyone is being forced to use their lives as pieces in the game. I’m expecting that there will be more discussion about “life is a game” vs “this isn’t a game, this is REAL!” or that sort of thing. 

Also noteworthy – Kyrie specifically talks about how game theory and deductions can’t always deduct human emotions or erratic choices. Going back to previous talk about “belief,” in a way, we can kind of see the beginnings of a conflict between games which try to calculate human feeling, and human feelings which aren’t deterministic and won’t always feel the same even if the same thing happens again. 

Witches all seem to be playing games of luck. I’ll take a moment to note the significance of “Zero.” Lambdadelta is powerful because she can approach infinitely close to zero, but she is flawed because she cannot reach it. Bernkastel is undefeatable as long as a probability is not zero, but loses all power as long as the chances are zero. Beatrice is “nothing but zeros” which means that she cannot lose. (Related to the problem of Beatrice’s “desire.”) In the negotiations between siblings, Krauss comes out with the strongest position because he’d turn out well by “doing nothing.” And last of all, I’ll point to Kanon’s last words before he died: he wanted to be the “zero” on the roulette table, which has the power to take away everything that has been bet. On one level, this points to the idea that the winner of the game isn’t who plays the game best but who sets the rules. On another level, it suggests the winner of the game is nothing, or doesn’t exist. The winner is a “zero.” Once you have something, you can’t be a winner anymore. For example, as pointed out by George in the story, when you grow up and start having people depend on you, you can’t be carefree about your approach anymore. Let’s see how the idea develops later! 

Islands/Rooms: Represents isolation, withdrawal, and in a way self-sabotage. Mentioned this for a couple characters. Once, the narration describes the characters all fleeing a room together as if afraid the last one to leave would be left in the room alone. As the game continues, more and more rooms are closed off, shrinking the characters’ worlds into a sort of smaller room as well. The problem of Chapter 1 is the problem of the “room.” (More on that later.) 

Doors: Obvious counterpart imagery to the room. The game itself enters the story or transitions between scenes using the light (or dark) of doors. The most important question of Chapter 1: are doors the only way for one to enter or exit a room? 

Seagulls: So far, they’ve been most important as a symbol that “something is about to begin” or that “something will end.” Given that the rain and stormy weather has been a representation of isolation (or even an entry into “another world”), with the seagulls’ relationship as a harbinger of the storm, we can also view the birds as a warning that you should stick together. Guess we’ll see where it goes from there. 

Roses: These are significant to me mostly because of what it tells me about the characters when they talk about them. For example, I think that Eva longs for the past in some way (“I wish you could have seen them back then”). George says that flowers dying early also lets them appreciate their brightness when they bloom (similar to what is said later on, in order to comfort survivors about the others’ deaths). Also, the roses have to be cultivated carefully and then are gone to waste in the span of a single night’s storm, similar to the Ushiromiya fortune. So roses are kind of a metaphor or stand-in for the lives of people in the game. 

If we take things a little more literally, the wilting rose that Maria spotted can be taken for an analog of Beatrice, who perhaps  just can’t thrive under the Ushiromiya care. 

The wilting rose is the most important rose because it presents us with the biggest theme about belief in the game, which is that something that is “here” can’t always be found or seen or felt. The disconnect between truth and evidence, in a way. I think anything else to be said on the topic of the wilting rose is obvious. 

Time/Maturity: The confusion of time has been a pretty big theme. Multiple characters are described as growing older but still staying the same inside as they were years ago (for example, Battler, Maria, Jessica, I believe Rudolf and Kumasawa also). On one hand it extends the metaphor of things that feel/appear different even though fundamentally they are the same. On the other hand, we can also see this as a sort of “stagnation” or “eternity.” The game also blurs the connection between aging and maturity, such as with George, who is caught between the children’s and adults’ worlds, and Rosa, who expresses that even though she isn’t a child anymore she also doesn’t feel like an adult. A few times, characters express the feeling that they are still caught in the past even though time has clearly moved on, for example: 

And again, characters are caught repeating the actions of the past, even though time has moved to the present:

So, this game will probably need to address the problem of how to “move forward,” which is almost synonymous with its question of how to “mature.” 

The game is extremely conscious about time, as every time there is a meaningful timeskip, it shows the clock moving (and may or may not have a glass shattering sound effect accompanying it). During moments of suspense and contemplation, it plays a soundtrack very similar to the soft sound of a ticking clock. 

Beatrice’s appellation, “The Endless,” also points to something about time. 

Shattering glass: tied in with time. This effect occurs when moving forwards or backwards in time in the story. It also occurs when loading a save or exiting the menu, which can also be a way of moving through “time” in the story. It’s hard to say what else it means at this stage, but since this shattering glass effect literally symbolizes breaking an invisible barrier, I can only assume that later the story may begin shattering invisible barriers that we as a reader take as a given. (For example: the barrier between story and reality, truth and lie.) 

Rain: symbolic of solitude, isolation, loneliness, “the end.” Which is quite funny because it’s the harbinger of Beatrice’s arrival, and Beatrice is “The Endless.” 

Eyes: Not elaborated on much in this chapter, but may become more relevant in later chapters. 

Let’s append the suspicious point about George’s glasses here. If eyes are the expression and window to the soul, then George with his glasses both obscures his own self and also may be shielding himself from looking at others. 

Unanswered Questions

Why did Rudolf say he would probably die that night? How did he know? 

How did Kinzo leave his room with no one noticing? 

How did the first six sacrifices get into the storage shed? 

How did the magic circle on Eva and Hideyoshi’s door appear so quickly? 

How did the letter appear inside Kinzo’s study?

How did Natsuhi shoot herself so perfectly? 

What happened to the missing rose? 

The epitaph in general.

Why was there a “time limit” for the epitaph’s ritual to be carried out? Arguably the time limit is simply “before every sacrifice is claimed” but the significance of the clock and the perfect 24:00 ending would suggest that there is more of a reason to the time limit than just that. 

What did Battler see at the end of the chapter that led his first instinct to be “You can’t be a witch” (denial) rather than “Who the hell are you”?

Who is the person narrating the character entries in the menu? It seems like Maria, but then what would that mean.  

If Kinzo wrote the epitaph, why does Beatrice accept his bet and carry it out? 

Other

Magic: To summarize, magic can bring forth a miracle that is proportional to what you risk or bet. The greater the risk, the greater the reward. However, as briefly touched on in the game, the paradox of magic is a sort of confusion of cause and effect. For example, let’s say you make a million-to-one bet to bring forth a miracle. You win the bet. Did the miracle occur because you won the bet, or did you win the bet because you had a “miracle”? The ambiguity of cause and belief lies at the heart of magic. 

We also know that if just one person fails to believe, the magic will fail. However, there are millions of people in the world who don’t believe, so we can plausibly rephrase this condition as: “if just one person who knows about the magic fails to believe, the magic will fail.” Therefore, the best way to ensure magic will work is to expose it only to people who will believe. But, as we know, the power of a magic is proportional to risk. If you only show magic to those who believe, then it will lose its power. 

In chapter 1, Kinzo exposes his “bet” to all 18/19 people on the island, raising the stakes of the magic – not just because more people might unravel the epitaph, but because there are more people who might fail to believe in the magic. (Bernkastel also mentions that the key to unraveling magic is to unravel the riddle behind it.) In any case, Battler is extremely anti-magic, both in attitude and in property. Exposing magic to Battler is sure to fail because Battler will not believe, even if he sees magic and cannot explain it. However, in the impossible case that you make the man who will never believe in magic finally admit to its existence, you will be able to draw forth the most powerful “miracle.” So in more ways than one, I feel like Battler’s “belief” is the most critical key to casting magic in this story. 

Entry/Exit: I would argue that the core problem of Chapter 1 is the “room” and how to get out of it. I think this might be Beatrice’s core problem too, because she tells us with her very first magic circle that perhaps her deepest desire is to escape the chains of her fate. But can she really do that if she is fulfilling Kinzo’s epitaph to the letter? … 

Reason/Fantasy: The story sets up these two things to be at odds, but Battler gives a very important breakdown of why fantasy/imagination is actually critical to being able to reason. I think Battler should watch The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema as presented by Slavoj Zizek. There would be a lot to say. In summary, though, the video essay argues that fantasy and shared constructions of fantasy are actually the necessary tool by which we engage with reality. When the fantasy is shattered, we lose touch with reality, too. 

I’d also like to submit this quote from Karl Popper: “...we do not seek highly probable theories but explanations; that is to say, powerful and highly improbable theories.” Truth and probability are not always hand in hand. Maybe that’s why the witches draw so much power from a million-to-one bet? 

Overall, though, Umineko is shaping up very obviously to be a story about belief. How people decide to believe and why, or maybe also why they don’t believe. The dignity of one’s strong feelings; the right to believe and feel what you do, despite what others say; the relationship between truth and belief… In essence, I think Umineko is going to be about this quote from The Little Prince: 

And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

[daffodil-screaming]

these are such an interesting question, i lowkey wanna send u like 20 of them. anyway. 83, 56, 40

83. Who was your first kiss with?

I guess there are a few answers to this, but I’m going to go with what felt to me like my first real kiss. It was with my first girlfriend when I was 14/15. It was incredible. We had been dating for close to four months at that point and I was too much of a bottom coward to initiate anything. it’s so weird looking back life felt so huge and serious and having a perfect kiss and doing it right felt so important i just… never had the courage until one day I did. And god it was absolutely mind blowing. I remember clearly my lips were numb and tingly for a good ten minutes afterwards and my body felt like it was filled with fireworks. She said it was “fine” lol. We broke up about a week later and she did some horrible stuff that I won’t get into now, but yeah. It was a good first kiss, even if I didn’t kiss anyone for four years after that.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Oh god umm okay-

-I have really tiny baby wrists compared to the rest of me 😭 why are they so fragile? I have no idea. It’s made for some play tho and my flawless flirting move “hey I bet you can’t fit both of my wrists in your hands” and then they do and I desire them carnally

- one of my legs is half an inch longer than the other

-much to my wife’s delight, you can slap my thigh and it will make my boobs jiggle and vice versa, I have “S tier jiggle physics” as she would say

-since I started birth control my nipples have got sooooo sensitive I really think I could cum just from having them sucked on

-I can fit an 8inch dildo in my ass comfortably but sometimes my cunt is so tight I struggle to fit a finger

-sometimes my joints randomly dislocate

-my hair wants to be naturally curly sooooo bad but I cannot seem to tame it. I cannot make it behave so I normally wear it in plaits

- my eyesight is so bad the optician once gave me a leaflet he normally gives to over 60s

THATS 8 not so sexy facts about my body

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Oh god this is so embarrassing but yes, I write a lot of poetry and occasionally songs. I’ve never written a song for someone but I’ve written many poems a lot of which are inspired by people, only a couple of them have ever had a poem written specifically for them tho 😅 letting someone read my poetry is like a blood bond to me lol

[wanderingmind867]

I brought the Magnus Chase book to school today, but something held me back from reading too much. It was the fact that I didn't feel ready to reread a book series about somebody who's who dies and still ends up in an afterlife that no sane person could call nice. Maybe before my mom died, i'd be less sensitive. But i've seen death now. And i cannot… i cannot accept a world where the afterlife means constant battle and no peace. Valhalla sucks. The Marvel Comics version is better, because they don't make Valhalla a home for dead people to just kill each other forever and ever and ever. And there isn't a big caste system (beyond odin being the all-father). Why does every afterlife rick riordan creates feel like hell!? Except wait. Even Hell might be nicer, because there's probably more people there then in Heaven, Elysium or Valhalla!

So I might not read much today. But if I don't, then I gotta do other stuff. So maybe i could try discussing what defines the perfect afterlife for me. Maybe I can discuss in more detail why the Hotel Valhalla is nothing compared to Helheim. And maybe i can try to think of more ideas for stories. Just anything to not confront the idea of an afterlife that punishes me with combat.

PS: I actually read the first 55 pages by powering through. They're great, but I don't know if I can stomach the Valhalla sections without repeatedly saying things that would get me criticized. Because an afterlife that's still capable of giving you pain and death...dear god, I want to actually inflict pain on whoever thinks that's sensible. The books needs to be criticized for that alone. If you're ever experienced loss without having many friends, an afterlife is like your safety net. And Valhalla is no fucking safety net! It's the exact opposite, if anything!

[perfectharmonyloveschaos]

I stumbled upon this video of the Filoni & Favreau interview that came out for The Mandalorian Season 3 [here is the link to the interview] that people have tried to reference towards 'supporting' the idea of Sabine being force sensitive and it made me realise something. Neither of them actually say anything about her being force-sensitive. They never mention it. Take note to what they both say exactly:

Favreau: "That's not necessarily true. Yeah, it doesn't happen that often. Although I would argue that Sabine is maybe a little bit of both." Filoni: "I dunno if I'd call her a Jedi though. The interesting question is how you define when someone is a Jedi."

Now, what does this snippet actually tell us? Favreau himself sees Sabine as being a little bit both Mandalorian and Jedi, assumingly due to her being trained by both Mandalorians and Jedi. While Filoni argues that and questions if she'd qualify to be considered a Jedi. He explicitly brings up deliberately, the concept of questioning what makes someone a Jedi. How do you define what being a Jedi means? Now, most people tend to see it as being someone who was trained by a Jedi in the way of the Jedi order, wields a lightsaber, and uses the force. But Filoni, without needing to, tries to make people question that.

And I think this will definitely play into Ahsoka and how Sabine has been portrayed.

I don't think Sabine is force-sensitive.

She was never hinted at or shown to possess any force abilities within the show (sensing people/knowing things before they happen, super-human reflexes) and she spent years around two Jedi both of whom were able to sense other force sensitives easily enough. People try to say that Kanan claiming she's too "Mandalorian" during the Trials of the Darksaber was hinting at Sabine locking herself out of the force as in that she was force-sensitive but somehow blocking herself from those abilities subconsciously, however, that makes no sense since the context of the scene is based totally on her, like Din Djarin during the Book of Boba Fett, being unable to properly wield the Darksaber due to her emotions and hesitancy. Her fears and guilt was stopping the force that exists all around her from naturally flowing through her and into the darksaber, hindering her from wielding it properly. How could she block herself from the force to the point where she shows no signs of it, and yet Kanan notices it and does nothing about it before the Darksaber incident? Do people really think Kanan wouldn't have sensed and tried to train Sabine earlier? That Ezra wouldn't have brought up her force sensitivity after this? And even if he was referring to her being locked out of the force, what about after Trials of the Darksaber when she comes to grips with her guilt, or even after Heroes of Mandalore when she makes amends with her family and past? Why wouldn't she show any force sensitivity after that when she assumingly is now free from her "Mandalorian" ties that blocked her force sensitivity? Because it was never about her being force-sensitive, it was about her wielding the Darksaber.

They could have hinted at Sabine being force-sensitive multiple times throughout the show but never did. No other force-users ever take notice of her. She cannot sense the Kyber crystal in Season 4, but Ezra does sense it much like Kanan sensed the other kyber crystal back in Season 1. She never shows any heightened abilities, senses or reflexes compared to even early Season 1 Ezra who himself was blocked off from the force and struggled to connect or train due to his trauma, and yet still showed signs of his force-sensitivity. We even had Kanan who blocked himself off from the force and yet was still able to be sensed by an untrained Ezra during the pilot. The idea that Kanan, Ezra, or even Ahsoka during the short time she spent with the Ghost Crew, never noticed Sabine's force sensitivity but somehow Ahsoka does post-Rebels is quite frankly ridiculous and somewhat insulting to the bond she had with Kanan and Ezra.

So, what does this have to do with the question Filoni referenced in his interview?

I think it is a hint towards a major point being addressed in Ahsoka: how do you define what makes someone a Jedi?

Our three major Jedi-orientated characters (Ahsoka, Sabine, and Ezra) all portray the different ways someone can be a Jedi without fitting the traditional standard of Jedi. Ahsoka has the force, left the Jedi Order, claims she isn't a Jedi anymore despite following their teachings and wields a lightsaber. Ezra has the force, was taught by Kanan who never finished his training, doesn't follow the entire Jedi code due to his dabblings with the dark side and allowing a level of attachment to his crew and homeworld but still considers himself a Jedi. And Sabine is someone who is learning the Jedi teachings, was taught by a Jedi to wield a lightsaber but doesn't have the force.

They can all be considered Jedi.

Even Sabine, who doesn't have the force.

Because the force doesn't make you a Jedi.

What people don't mention is that in that same interview, Filoni actually says what he believes defines a Jedi. He says:

"The Jedi is a way of training. It's a way of philosophy and being."

Notice that Filoni never mentions the force or being force-sensitive. Another interesting thing to note is that he brings up Jedi being a "way of training" first and foremost, something that is extremely relevant now with all the information we have gotten about Ahsoka training Sabine. Each of these criteria that Filoni mentions is relevant to Sabine, all without making her suddenly force-sensitive. This seems intentional given that Ahsoka had already finished filming by the time this interview was published.

This is the point Filoni is actually trying to get across while misdirecting people in the trailer. After all, why put so much emphasis on Sabine in all the trailers and especially draw attention to her wielding the lightsaber, while also having Shin state "You have no power"? Shin doesn't consider Sabine a Jedi because she isn't force-sensitive.

Filoni would never give something so important away in the trailers. Look at how secretive they've been about basically everything concerning Ahsoka up until this point. His desire to keep things secret has been referenced by Rosario Dawson herself and many of the cast are very careful in interviews to avoid giving anything away. Filoni would never have given such a big twist away so obviously. Plus, if this was some major tease about Sabine being force-sensitive, then Filoni would've had the question taken out of the interview. Nothing in the trailer actually shows Sabine having the force, but that doesn't mean Ahsoka can't teach her to be a Jedi without it.

I do not think that Sabine isn't force-sensitive, but rather that it's a huge misdirect to hide the overarching concept that is going to be challenged through Ahsoka—what defines a Jedi?

[cyberwore]

𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀 "𝐕" 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐀. An independent, private, interpretation of the playable character "V" from the video game cyberpunk 2077. This blog will contain primarily adult content, please do not follow or interact if you are under the age of 21. character information here.

written by: maya, she/her, 25+, rules below the cut.

001. THIS BLOG WILL CONTAIN PRIMARILY ADULT CONTENT AND IS THEREFORE RATED 21+.

Cyberpunk contains heavy violence, language, and killing. Since I personally do not feel comfortable discussing these topics with anyone below the age of 21, my blog is rated 21+. If you're sensitive to this kind of content, I advise you to read my threads with caution because I cannot promise that everything will be sunshine and roses all the time. If any of my threads have an alarming amount of triggering material I will appropriately tag it and put it under a read more.

002. THIS BLOG IS PRIVATE AND HEAVILY PLOT BASED.

This is a mutuals only blog, so all plots and asks will be answered based on a mutual basis. This is nothing personal, I'm just very very busy, so all of my blogs are essentially private, meaning that I prefer it if we plot first before interacting. If we are mutuals and you would like to plot, feel free to message me and let me know your ideas!

003. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT MUSE'S VIEWS DO NOT REFLECT THE WRITER'S VIEWS.

Any thoughts or ideas expressed by my muse are not a reflection of my own views. If you are uncomfortable with any of the subject matter posed on this blog, you are more than welcome not to follow, believe me I completely understand!

004. I WILL TAG ANY AND ALL TRIGGERS.

I will tag anything that may be of a triggering nature such as blood, gore, death, etc. If there is something I miss that you really need me to tag, please tell me! Anonymously or not, I won’t ask why and don’t need any explanation, just tell me what you need tagged and consider it done. Posts that are triggering will have a ‘tw:’ before them, so for example if someone’s trigger was blood, it’d be ‘tw: blood’ (without the quotations).

005. DO NOT RUSH ME INTO REPLYING OR WRITING A STARTER.

I write at my own pace at my own time. I am a very slow writer, and also have a life outside of tumblr. If I do not reply to your thread right away it doesn’t mean that I hate you, or that I am bored with our thread. I’m either busy, don’t have the motivation to write, or don’t feel the muse for it at the moment. Along that same token, don’t rush me into plotting or writing starters. I’m a slow writer, and even slower when I write a starter.

006. I'M OPEN TO ALL ROLEPLAYING STYLES.

I am open to chat threads, short threads, long threads, just note that long threads will take longer for me to reply to as it is much faster and easier for me to write plain dialogue than prose. If you have a preferred length you are welcome to message me, and we can work something out! Just don’t feel the need to have to match my length exactly, all I ask is that it’s comparable in length, like if I give you a good solid two paragraphs, I expect more than just a sentence back.

007. THIS BLOG IS DUPLICATE FRIENDLY.

Even though V is the main character of the game, arguably they are an OC that can be molded to fit into any narrative that you want. Honestly, duplicates have never bothered me before, and with a character as versatile as V can be, I feel like it's even easier to interact with duplicates. So take this as your invitation to bring on the V vs. V action!