#anti valhalla

[wanderingmind867]

Okay, yeah. Valhalla is just home to a bunch of serial killers. Why should I like Halfborn, Mallory, TJ or any of these others when they just kill, kill, kill, kill and kill!? They're f***ing psychos! And not in the charming way. No, in the terrifying serial killer way. Am I supposed to like people who feel bloodlust? Really!? Jesus Christ, what is wrong with the Hotel Valhalla!? And how the hell does rick riordan manage to humanize these characters later. It feels almost impossible. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. sigh…

Edit: As usual, I phrased this super indelicately and shoved my foot in my mouth. I don't even hate Halfborn, TJ or Mallory! But I suppose I felt my point was best reached using them as my tangible examples of what too much Valhalla does to a person. You get so desensitized to death that you become a willing serial killer. Cutting down swathes of people like it's all one big game. I still see problems with this, and I just want to know that i'm not alone in seeing the problems.

[nando161mando]

[romanoffsbish]

MCU is good at one thing: Unnecessarily killing women.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

This isn't like. a DANGEROUS misinformation or anything, it's just so weird. Like IMDb blatantly states Tom Lewis is the voice of King Aelfred, and Allan Corduner is Trygve (two wildly different characters). I don't understand where the ai got this info. Like again not scary or dangerous but still just so blatantly wrong it just. I'm appalled that people still think ai is in any way reliable.

[lullabyes22-blog]

Silco's entire life is basically the oeuvre of The World Inferno Friendship Society...

Don't believe me?

Look at these titles.

Only Anarchists Are Pretty

Soon We’ll Be Dead

Ich erinnere mich an die Weimarer Republik

Addicted to Bad Ideas

Me V. Angry Mob

Brother of the Mayor of Bridgewater

Zen and the Art of Breaking Everything in This Room

The Velocity Of Love

The Politics Of Passing Out

I Wouldn’t Want to Live in a World Without Grudges

All the World Is a Stage (Dive)

A Night in the Woods

Please My Favorite Don’t Be So Sad

Heart Attack ’64

Friend To The Friendless

My Ancestral Homeland, New Jersey

I Am Sick of People Being Sick of My Shit

Cats Are Not Lucky Creatures

Bad Penny Blue

Just the Best Party

Your Younger Man

One for the Witches!

Tattoos Fade

Don’t Kiss Me, I’m Running Out of Lipstick

Secret Service Freedom Fighting U.S.A.

With a Good Criminal Heart

Tarot Americaine

Me & The Mad Monkettes

Annie the Imaginary Lawyer

Go With It Girl

This Packed Funeral

Fiend In Wien

The Apple Was Eve

Don’t Get Me Started, Don’t Get Me Wrong

All Of California And Everyone Who Lives There Stinks

Dolce Far Niente

“M” Is for Morphine

Let’s Steal Everything

Looks Like Blood But It’s Probably Wine

I Just Make Faces

Lust for Timing

Three Parts WTF

All I Can Do To Help You With Your Nightmares Is Keep You Up Late

Canonize Philip K. Dick, OK

Citizen Of Jazz

Taken Down A Peg, I Help Out The Squatters In The Subway

Millicent Didn’t Want to Wait for It to Get Better

Hothouse Flowers

Embarked on a Life of Poverty and Freedom

So Long to the Circus

I’ll Be Your Alibi

Stay on the Charming Side of Drunk

The Naughty Little Rat Makes New Friends

Dr. Dracula Who Makes You Get High!

The Roosters Are Coming Home To Crow

The Elegant Solution

Having A Double Life Is Hard (But Obviously Something You Enjoy)

The Cat In The Hat Has A Right To Sing The Blues

Freedom Is A Wilderness Made For You And Me

The Disarming Smile

Incendiarism

The Devil’s Ball

Glamour Ghouls

So Long Saving Grace

The Faster You Go, The Better You Think

Burn & Scar

Lean Time For Heroes

They Talk of Nora’s Badness

Lawyers And Lovers

Anti-Fascist Cabaret

The Models and the Mannequins

The Mighty Raritan

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Road

In The Briar Patch Born And Raised

Pickles And Gin

Valhalla, Definitely

The Expatriate Act

Second Chance Saloon

Foolish Things

All Borders Are Porous To Cats

For Sleep

Jealous, We Three

Carnival At My Back

Subway Song

Drug Dealers Are Always Late

The Expatriate Act

[wanderingmind867]

Rick Riordan keeps trying to say Randolph's house is creepy, but I don't know. It sounds majestic and regal to me. An old mansion, with artifacts and books and beautiful, fancy old furniture…it sounds like heaven for someone like me. Unlike our lead character, I am not an outdoorsy person. Randolph the "creepy" professor is more relatable than Magnus and Natalie, in some ways. I'm shocked Randolph and Frederick drifted apart, though. Frederick and Randolph both seem like scholarly types, and that's why I like both of them.

One was obsessed with military stuff and one was obsessed with ancient norse artefacts, but you'd think they'd have still gotten along. It sounds more like Natalie was the odd one out in her family. I know I've only read two chapters so far (it's 11:25 and I've only read that far; mainly because I wasn't sure I wanted to read the book), but I don't get bad impressions of Randolph at all. I really think I could play devil's advocate for this man.

PS: Now that I'm getting to the Hotel Valhalla stuff...well, I just wish the book had stayed with Randolph and not focused on that awful f***ing afterlife. Because Randolph is cool. He's this old man with secrets and knowledge and artefacts! I love him! I'd rather him than a classist afterworld where death is a daily thing. (I'll explain that classist remark in a seperate post).

[seat-safety-switch]

Rust is my most hated nemesis. I have stared more than once into the crumbling mess of red death that was, long ago, a pristine steel panel. Many evenings have been spent cutting out rust, only to find more rust, and cutting out that rust only to find yet more rust. Everything on my car is actively trying to return to the earth, but I won't let it.

Maybe you're lucky enough to only own new cars, or so absolutely fortunate that you live somewhere that cars don't rust even when they get scratched. If that's the case, you can pretend that the rest of this story is actually talking about croissants. Croissants are delicious, rich, and buttery, and I'd probably have learned how to make them myself if I didn't spend what my Daytimer�� estimates is three-quarters of my waking life fixing body and structural rust on my harem of shitbox cars.

For years, car folks have been lured by a series of snake-oil paints, oils, dyes, dips, and other formulations that promise to help prevent rust. Virtually all of them are horseshit: elaborate scams produced by an industry that knows they have a desperate customer, just like parachute companies. The most effective rust prevention is to hose your car down with lanolin, which is a sort of wax you make by crushing up sheep. It works well, but the trick is doing it every year, forever, perfectly, until you miss a spot and your car disintegrates at highway speed, like a sand castle being hit by an errant volleyball.

If you talk to someone rich, they propose simply driving a bad car in the winter, and keeping your good cars cooped up. This is impossible for me: not only do I have exclusively what the rich would call "bad" cars, but I feel shrieking agony every time I am destroying any vehicle at all through my carelessness and malice. That is, of course, unless I am racing the car, in which case it is understood by all involved that dying in battle is the most noble way for the car to ascend to Valhalla. There is no honour in scrapping a car because the rear subframe prolapsed on your way to work, so I enter my most precarious vehicles in ice racing in order to give them a good end-of-life experience.

Unfortunately, it turns out that the gaping rust holes reducing the weight of the chassis, and my devil-may-care attitude bumping rivals off the lake in fact is the secret formula to produce winning race cars. Now, I'm not as rich as your Inoues or your Sennas, but the $50 gift certificates to the local tire place really add up. I hear they've got anti-rust underbody spray, which seems like a good thing to do to whatever chunks of cars I can frantically weld together this summer in the few weeks before the leaves turn again. The cycle of life.

[kaccvcate]

As someone who wasn't raised Christian, I find it so strange that satanism is considered "anti-Christian." Since Satan is a Christian mythological figure, without Christianity he wouldn't even exist, so any depiction of Satan would have to be inherently Christian. You could say the character is anti-Jesus, or anti-human maybe. Can you imagine if people said depictions of Hades or the Furies were anti-Hellenic? They're integral to the mythology...If anything Satanism should be considered a branch of Christianity. Most Satanists I know used to be other types of Christians anyway. I also find it strange that Christians strictly adhere to anti-talmudic religious laws that Jesus certainly would have found inhumane, as an extremely socially conscious Jewish man. (I admire a lot of things he stood for, but most Christians barely have anything in common with him.)

My mama told me a story a long time ago, about the first missionary to come to the Muskogee. He explains all about heaven and hell and Jesus, and the Muskogee man says, "Let me get this straight. If I don't worship this man I'll burn in hell for all eternity?" and the missionary tells him, yes. The Muskogee man says "What about all my relatives who haven't even heard of this? What about all my family who died never knowing?" and the missionary says, "There's no punishment for ignorance, they'll all go to heaven." And the Muskogee man says, "Well why the FUCK did you tell me, then?!"

I'm not Christian, not even Satanist, if anything I worship cats, but many people have told me I'm going to hell anyway, although to me hell is as made up as Idunn's orchard of golden apples, Valhalla, Olympus, or anywhere like that. My mama used to tell me, hell is where the fun people are, and since I've never actually met someone who wasn't allegedly going, I think she was probably right.

[weaving-wyrd]

Greetings, fellow seekers,

My name is Öda, and I am a Norse pagan and völva. In my practice, this means I walk the path of witchcraft, divination, and seiðr, honoring the old ways while embracing the ever-evolving nature of spiritual wisdom. I do not claim to be a perfect reconstructionist or an ultimate authority—my path is shaped by personal experience, intuition, study, divine guidance, and the wisdom woven into the threads of fate.

Join me as I navigate the web of Wyrd, exploring the mysteries of the gods, ancestors, and the unseen. Let us walk this winding path together, learning, questioning, and honoring the old ways in a world that constantly changes.

What You Can Expect to Find Here

Altar Inspiration

Anti-Racist, Anti-Fascist, Inclusive Heathenry

Art & Creative Works

Articles & Thought Pieces

Books & Recommended Readings

Crystals & Gemstones

Educational Materials

Embracing Inclusive Heathenry

Insights into the Gods, Traditions, and Norse Paganism

Musings & Reflections

Prayers & Blessings

Ritual Ideas, Notes, and Events

Runes & Their Meanings

Spells & Magical Practices

Spiritual Celebrations & Festivals

Tips, Tricks, and Practical Guidance

I will not tolerate bigotry. This blog will never be a space for white supremacy, racism, homophobia, sexism, or any other form of right-wing ideology. There are no Nazis in Valhalla. May your actions be erased from history, and your name be lost to time. May your descendants never know the stain of your existence.

ᚠ ᚢ ᚦ ᚨ ᚱ ᚲ ᚷ ᚹ ᚺ ᚾ ᛁ ᛃ ᛇ ᛈ ᛉ ᛊ ᛏ ᛒ ᛖ ᛗ ᛚ ᛜ ᛞ ᛟ

[widget117]

Guide to the Edda

I am by no means an expert, but I AM a proud literature buff 💪 📢

The Poetic Edda is a collection of Norse myths divided into four parts:

The Prologue: differing from the other parts of the Edda in terms of structure, subject and information, the Prologue relates Norse stories to those of the Graeco-Romans, hoping to make it's reader take it more seriously (the Edda was written down in the time of Christianity entering Iceland, so this isn't too surprising). It's unclear whether the Prologue was a part of the original texts, or if it was added only with the scribing of the Edda itself, in order to relate to a medieval Christian audience by drawing connections to familiar Christian concepts.

The Gylfaginning: the "core" of the Edda. It is our best source of the Creation story, struggles of Gods and events leading to Ragnarok. It is written as a dialogue between King Gylfi of Sweden and three god-like figures. Gylfi disguies himself as a traveller and journeys to visit the Æsir (the Norse Gods). The three god-like figures are three manifestations of Odin, who Gylfi questions on the order of the Norse Pantheon and the formation of the world.

The Skaldskaparmal: the stories in this section of the Edda give mostly background and explanation for references in Old Norse verse. The Skaldskaparmal gives us stories of heroes, dragon slayers and whatnot.

The List of Metres/Hattatal: undoubtedly composed by Snorri Sturluson himself as an attempt to make himself amicable with the Norwegian King, the Hattatal is a work of 102 stanzas that demonstrate poetics metres and devices. It's a pretty obscure section and is often left out of translations.

The Prose Edda serves as a "how to read Norse poetry" guide for medieval scholars. It's more or less just a couple hundred pages of "here's what's up"

Æsir

The Norse Gods are separated into two groups: the Æsir and the Vanir, who are pretty consistently at war with each other until they eventually fuse into just one group, taking on the name "Æsir" to mean all Norse Gods. The Æsir live in Asgard and rarely quarrel over humans or heroes. They don't like being immortal, either.

The Æsir commonly represent war.

Ex) Odin, Thor, Týr, Frigg

Vanir

The Vanir are Gods of fertility, wisdom and prophecy. Their home is Vanaheimr. After the Æsir-Vanir War, they become a subgroup of the Æsir.

Ex) Freya, Freyr, Njord

Other Creatures

Giants/Jötnar

The Jötnar live in contrast to the Gods (sometimes called "Anti-Gods"); Loki is often considered a Jötunn. There are many names for these entities (Trolls, risi, gýgr, tröllkona, þursar). The connotations for Jötnar become less cool and more evil as Christianity enters the picture, and these beings are not necessarily very large, as the name "giant" might have you expect.

Ex) Hrungnir, Fárbauti, Gerðr

Elves

The Edda mentiones Elves mostly in passing. Though their presence is scarce, it is implied that they held a lot of importance in original Scandinavian myths. There are different types of Elves, such as light and dark, and there are place names connected to them.

As in most mythologies including Elves, they are beautiful, dangerous and magical creatures.

Dwarves

Dwarves are pretty negative creatures in the Norse myth. They were the first of all creatures who live in the flesh of the giant Ymir. The Gods, for some reason unbeknownst to us, changed the nature of the Dwarves so that they "assumed the likeness of men" and started dwelling below the ground.

The reason for changing them may have to do with smithing. The Gods were the earliest master smiths, but abandoned forging and left it to the Dwarves.

Valkyries

Odin's gang of Valkryies decide which fallen Norse heroes are allowed into Valhalla (Odin's hall in Asgard, where the most prominent of the Gods are allowed their own halls, such as Freya or Frigg, etc). Valkryies sometimes appear as lovers of heroes or mortals, even as royalty.

Ex) Brynhildr, Sigrún, Göndul

Monsters

From here on out, classification would take me all goddamn day. Besides the aforementioned, you have your serpents, dragons, lindworms, beasts of battle, draugrs, nixies, selkolla, lyngbakr, hafgufa and hamingja.

The Wild Hunt of Odin — Peter Nicolai Arbo

[lavalais76]

I find myself constantly thinking of the wilding VAL and her purpose. She was not in the show, but as we all know, that means nothing. I'm not a huge fan, but I'm wondering what part she will play when it comes to Jon. There is no way she will be QINT as some airheads suggest.

I think of the name GRRM gave her and I think of Valeria and the Valkyries. Most of us know that the Valkyries are female warriors who sometimes take on human form, and their job is to take the fallen warriors to Valhalla. (If they choose to do so)

Most of GOT is based on old Norse Mythology, so maybe Martin took this route with VAL. I can't say for certain, but what are your thoughts on VAL my Jonsa family? I will only tag this in Jonsa because I don't need any anti's leaving me stalker messages.

[useless-catalanfacts]

La Pedrera. Photos from Ajuntament de Barcelona and La Pedrera.

Nowadays, la Pedrera is one of the most famous building in Barcelona, Catalonia. It's one of the most emblematic buildings in the Catalan Modernism style, and has been declared part of the UNESCO World Heritage Site "Works of Antoni Gaudí".

But it hasn't always been recognised as good architecture, all the opposite! In fact, take a look at its name: it's technically called Casa Milà (house of the Milà family), but locals always call it "la Pedrera", which means "the quarry" in the Catalan language. When it was built, in 1910, Barcelonians thought it looked like an ugly piece of stone-y quarry mountain in the middle of the city.

But that's not the only thing that they thought it looked like. Let's see some parodies that were published at the time:

In 1909, the popular magazine Cu-Cut! published this vignette of a mother and a son walking in front of the house, when the child asks his mom "was there also an earthquake here?". This is a reference to an earthquake that happened in Sicily the previous month, and to the house's bendy shapes that look like it was shaken.

In 1925, the children's magazine En Patufet also joined in, with a vignette where the owner realises he can't hang up curtains* on this windows.

*Note: I'm using the translation "curtains" as a simplification so that English speakers without a detailed knowledge of Catalan culture can understand the joke. The vignette actually uses the word "domàs", meaning a decorative textile that is hanged from balconies during holidays.

In 1910, Cu-cut! compared it to a mona, the cake that Catalans eat on Easter Monday, by drawing a vignette where a child says "Daddy, daddy, I want a mona as big as this one!".

Three times did the magazine El Diluvio mock this building.

First, in 1910, they called it a "Medieval architecture model, between burrow and burial, that I don't quite dislike". It described its future in the following way: "the round gaps in the façade have become dark holes where all kinds of vermin come in and out: crocodiles and rats, but also snakes, hedgehogs, owls, sea monsters... Two undulating lines wrap up the building, which stands in front of an absolutely black sky. Above it, in the rooftop, the chimneys, the air vents and the stairs' endings have stopped being whipped cream mountains to become sinister piles of skulls."

In 1911, El Diluvio striked again, comparing the building's cast iron handrails to a fish stand. Their illustration had Casa Milà with a sign saying "cod entrails sold here!".

And lastly, it made fun of the controversial statue of Our Lady of the Rosary that was supposed to go on top. The Milà family in the end decided not to place the statue (some say because they didn't like how the sculptor made it, some say it's because they were scared of having a religious symbol after the 1909 anti-clerical riots) but the architect Gaudí, who was a very religious man, insisted on having it. This caused the Milàs and Gaudí to argue, which the magazine represents with a caricature of Mr. Milà wearing a Tarzan-like loincloth and branding a whip fighting against Gaudí wearing a pith helmet, grabbing him by the hair and hitting him with a hammer. The text under the image translates to "Will the Virgin Mary stand on top of the peculiar monument? Who will win, Gaudí or Milà?".

In 1912, the popular magazine L'Esquella de la Torratxa imagined that this extravagant futuristic building could only be a garage for parking airship and air-planes. This satirical drawing is titled "Future Barcelona. The true destiny of the Milà and Pi house". (Milà and Pi were the owners of this building).

The text that accompanied this illustration wondered if this building is the Wagnerian Valhalla, an anti-aircraft defense for the Moroccan War, or a hangar for zeppelins.

What do you think? Was the banter justified?

[moongirlwidow]

Hey, I’m Vera Heladottir-Banner. Professionally, Vespera Volkov. i know it sounds fancy and I think it’s mildly absurd. Just call me Vera

I was born in Romania, I’m eighteen years old. I’ve been out of the Red Room after fifteen years — I had passed my graduation test, I was meant to undergo the forced sterilization graduation ceremony ten minutes after Natalia and Yelena crashed into the academy. I was already on the bed and everything

So, long story short, I moved to New York and was hidden in Stark Tower by James, Yelena and Natalia. I became a vigilante, then an avenger, known as the Winter Widow. I started dating MJ, then Peter. I’m dating them both. I got two cats, later two dogs

I retired from Avenging and Vigilante work after almost dying in a HYDRA hostage situation where I underwent temporary memory loss. I’m tired as shit. I’m trying to learn to be normal but that’s leaned more into… the tech-y side of work, handling vigilante work that doesn’t involve as much combat, especially because now I still walk with a cane around half the time

I’m also not as close with my siblings these days, specifically Nat, Bucky and Yelena.hard to be close with the dead, especially because they aren’t in my mother’s realm. They died in battle to save me.

They’re in Valhalla

Red Room File || Timeline Explanation

My family

Mother — @goddessof-death

Father — @imnothulk

Partners — @midtown-braincell-holder @definitelynot-peterp4rker

Uncle — @verygoodlawyer

Nephew/son — @ducktamer415

Brother - @redroom-peterparker

Blog Rules:

— No nsfw stuff

— no racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, anti-semitism, Zionism, etc etc

- stand with Palestine & Ukraine

— mod -- @over-bi-the-wayside

// = OOC

[thydungeongal]

You're so brave. Our strongest anti 5e action soldier

Hehehehehhehe this was actually really nice to read. One day we will dine together in the great halls of, aaaaaaaaaaa, Roleplaying Games Valhalla. Where every day opinionated RPG posters post on the fields about RPG theory and then in the evening there's a cool as hell Vampire larp

[tapioca-puddingg]

Why GoWR Valhalla Is Important

Hey. It's me again. This time I'm not yelling about Kingdom Hearts or Drakengard, but I wanted to talk about God of War Ragnarök: Valhalla today and why I think it's important in trauma-centered narratives. This isn't a detailed analysis, just me spitballing.

SPOILER WARNING: There will be spoilers for God of War Ragnarök: Valhalla, so please proceed with caution!

EDITED: 2/26/24

As a brief summary, Kratos spent almost the entirety of GoW 2018 refusing to talk about his past. His guilt, shame, and trauma deeply affected his relationship with his son, to the point where he didn't want to be around Atreus bc he was terrified of being a bad influence on him. It was only when Atreus' life was in danger did it force him to finally admit just a sliver of the truth. Now I don't mean to say that Kratos revealing his godhood wasn't a big deal because it absolutely was, I'm just saying that it's just one piece of a MUCH bigger story. Anyway, he recognized his past mistakes, but the shame was too much for him to openly acknowledge it until damn near the end of the game.

Come Ragnarök, Kratos was pretty much an open book. He had grown SO much in those short years of fimbulwinter: He openly talked about his trauma to Mimir and Freya. He worked so hard to be a good father and a good support system to his friends. He went out of his way to make amends with Freya and restore their friendship. And he fought to restore peace to the Nine Realms.

But come Valhalla, Freya wants to recruit Kratos to be the new God of War of the nine realms, or at least to be a part of the new peacekeeping council that she's putting together. Kratos is extremely hesitant to take up the mantle. He doesn't feel worthy or deserving enough to hold this position given all that he's done. He and Mimir (and later on, Tyr) are constantly going back and forth about it. Both perspectives are completely valid. Valhalla is about Kratos facing his past in a more literal sense; parts of Greece have been manifested from Kratos' memories of it, so it's like he gets to be there in real time again. This is about helping him process what happened and to add some nuance to the conversation. It's like free therapy for Kratos.

It's funny too bc you have both opposing viewpoints being represented. On one hand, you have Mimir and Tyr being the supporting/validating voice, and Helios is the contrarian. Since he's a manifestation of Kratos' memories, he represents the doubts that Kratos has about himself. The harsh voice to show how hard he is on himself, and not without good reason.

The reason why I think Valhalla is so important is bc in media, survivor narratives are often linear. The character just "gets over" their trauma and then that trauma isn't addressed again. It's presented more as a hurdle than a lifelong battle. I guess this goes to show how misunderstood survivorhood is. But that isn't how healing works. We regress sometimes, and sometimes we still mull over the things that have happened to us. We might heal, but that trauma does leave emotional scars. So even after the many leaps and bounds Kratos has made, he's not "over" his past, far from it! It still haunts him every day and every night. Valhalla is Kratos still processing everything. From my own healing journey, I've learned that it takes a long, long time to fully process your trauma, if there even is a "fully", anyway. It takes a long time to learn and understand all the complexities and how it affects you in current day. And it takes even longer to process such a complicated history like Kratos'.

Generally speaking about the idea of processing trauma, I said earlier that survivorhood is extremely misunderstood by the masses. Imo, our society is very anti-victim/anti-survivor. So with that in mind, from the perspective of the audience, some might perceive the processing trauma bit as repetitive or "milking it". These are mediums of entertainment after all, so ofc I understand wanting to put out an engaging story where the audience doesn't lose interest. But screw those ppl lol. We have to understand why we do what we do if we want to do better, and it's amazing that a video game is willing to have these conversations. Being more open about all the nuances of processing trauma, grief, healing, etc will go such a long way.

Even the roguelite gameplay style perfectly reflects this theme. Processing this stuff is slow. It doesn't happen overnight. Unless you're in Valhalla, I suppose.

Okay I said this wasn't a detailed analysis but I lied. I'm a liar now

[wanderingmind867]

My Ideal Afterlife:

As you all know by now, the afterlife is important to me. I lost my mom. I have next to no friends. For me, a good afterlife is necessary for me to maintain mental stability. I don't care about religion, I just care that I need an afterlife. And whenever Rick Riordan showcases a new afterlife, it always gets under my skin. Asphodel isn't what I want! Valhalla isn't what I want! No! No! F**k you, no! And since I react so viscerally to these things, you probably womder: what do I want from an afterlife? Good question. Excellent question. So now I'm just gonna make a big essay on what my paradise and afterlife would look like:

You know how Valhalla is about fighting to prepare for Ragnarok? No. Just no. I refuse to have that be my life. I also refuse a nameless nothingness like asphodel offers. No, the afterlife is everything everyone deserves. When we die, we all ascend to a plain much like this one, but without the ills of today. No money, no greed, no pain and no suffering. We'd all live in the place we feel most comfortable (for me that's my home with my dad, so It'd be there). There would be no hell, either. Hell is a concept made up to divide man and make us condemn each other. Even the worst sinner is welcome in paradise. I don't care what you say; that's the only proper way to do things. Just peace and harmony for everyone. Life is exactly as it is now. Everybody lives in the same afterlife, and you can travel by pure thought. You'd never lose anybody you care about (like rick riordan's filthy afterlives imply can happen). In my afterlife, magnus chase wouldn't have to lose his mother. Hazel Levesque wouldn't lose her mom. All these things wouldn't happen. Because I know fairness when I see it. And everybody: Valhalla and the Underworld are not fair.

You know which afterlife does seem okay? The Land of The Dead, ruled by Lord Osiris. Osiris is a fair ruler, and his kingdom delivers 90% of what i want. People are still punished, but there's no such thing as purgatory. You just get to go on living the same way you would have in life, and all your material possessions follow you along. It's pure freedom. Now, I'm not saying Osiris should lead a Holy War against Odin and Hades, but...actually, he totally should. Osiris and Anubis could show those fools a thing or two.