#I can forget about them or stop any time

[obsessivedilettante]

May 2023 round-up

How is it already June? I went to a concert at the beginning of the month, blinked, and now it’s June. I don’t even know what I did in May. It was a stressful, chaotic month. Do you know what I’m going through right now? Downsizing a quarter of the company. Not me, at least. But still. I am now picking up all kinds of slack while working on exit packages. This is the slow season since most of our projects are with educational institute but we thought we would have picked up other projects by now. So this is going to be a Fun summer. Anyway, here’s what I vaguely remember from May to prove that I actually have a life and am Doing Things:

I saw Agust D in Chicago! Guess what? I still had to work the day of the concert! So I didn’t get to explore Chicago. But the concert was fun! The seats at the Allstate Arena are the woooooooorst, though. <insert Jean-Ralphio gif> I think the bruise on my thigh where the armrest hit my pear-shaped body has finally faded.

I dragged my mum to the local production of 39 Steps. Those seats were much better.

I… think that’s it? The only fun noteworthy things I’ve done all month. Yeah. We’ve also been having tons of rain which is great “because we need the moisture” but my allergies are like “I HATE YOU” about all the new pollen/grass/etc springing up like weeds. Oh, and we got to enjoy a sneak peek at fire season as Canada’s ash cloud settled over us for a week and I’ve since learned I am now one of those “sensitive to air quality” types. It’s okay, I don’t want to breathe, anyway.

Anyway, media I am or have enjoyed/consumed:

Mrs. Davis. I can’t even begin to explain this show so I won’t. But it was an enjoyable mind-trip and I loved how wacky and colorful it was. I’m looking forward to a binge rewatch now that I don’t have to wait for a new episode each week. But it’s not a show I’ll watch with my mum.

Taskmaster UK (s15). I loved it. I loved how all the contestants got along (their imitations of each other were divine!). I’d never heard of Ivo before but now I’m mildly obsessed with his persona. I want Jenny to adopt me. I want Kiel to be my big brother. I want to overthink tasks with Mae until we get to the perfect solution. I want to start an absurdist art gallery with Frankie.

G-IDLE and DREAMCATCHER comebacks. My girls! With their summer bops! I am so excited! These may not be my favoritest-ever of their albums but I can’t deny that “Queencard” gets stuck in my brain and I have to be careful I don’t suddenly blurt out, “My boob and booty’s hot.” Tbh in my mind it was a perfect timing release to a Pride month anthem. (Oh yeah this does remind me that I really wanted to get tickets to G-IDLE’s concert tour, especially since they’re in much better venues compared to last year, but HOLY HECK travel is so much more expensive than last year and with work chaos, I just can’t do it. I am genuinely gutted but I will survive. Just don’t talk to me about it.) Also I tried to hyperlink to the MVs but it wasn’t working, probably because I haven’t updated this app in a million years (all polls are mysterious grey bars) but you should watch G-IDLE’s “Allergy” MV before watching “Queencard.”

[sockdooe]

I don’t know if maybe it’s just me, but is anyone else seeing a rise of people claiming that they could do a better rewrite of Voltron and then immediately say they’d make K/L cannon or Adash/ canon?

I don’t know about anyone else but I genuinely don’t think making ships canon would make the show better.

In fact I think It’d make it worse.

And considering shiro isn’t even mentioned in these and if he is it’s just to be Keith dad…. Is telling.

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[honey-skulls]

HUGE VENT

I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen

My routine these last two weeeks has been:

-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep

-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw

-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am

I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍

Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore

Silence is actually worse than loud rooms

It's driving me insane

It's so loud

[solarpunkani]

Saw your tags on that post about swamp milkweed about having trouble getting it started--you may already know this, but milkweed seeds need light to germinate! They only need a light dusting of soil on top of them (and putting them somewhere with a lot of light helps!); if you can't see the seed through the soil, it's buried a little too deep. They basically want to be laying flat on the surface of the soil rather than poked down into it, with just enough soil on top to help them retain moisture. Yes this does make it kind of annoying to manage moisture because you don't really want them drying out either (sorry 😭) but I hope this helps!! I mention it because this is the most common issue I see with people trying to grow milkweeds from seed. They also want 4 weeks of cold stratification (cool temperatures like in a fridge while also being in contact with moist soil; you can plant your seeds, pop the whole pot in a ziplock/cover it with cling wrap, and just refrigerate it for a few weeks) so don't forget to do that!

You know

it's really funny

because i like to call myself the self-proclaimed milkweed queen of tumblr (at least on my gardening blog but still)

And yet

I

constantly fucking forget about the light thing

IDK if that'll fix all my problems (the soil at my house is pretty sandy so I think that's the problem when it comes to transplanting at least) but regarding getting those little shits to germinate??? that might be the ticket

(one of the other problems I face sometimes is the seeds deciding to mold when they're in the fridge cold stratifying, i lost a good chunk of seeds to that last year but i don't see any signs of it happening yet this year so fingers crossed everyone)

[hecksupremechips]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

[ringwraithmd]

had some convos tonight im a little buzzed but here are my takeaways. these might start some fires.

somehow they person I talked with is both Anakin apologist and Anakin critical. Idk how they have that exist at the same time, but I'd like to say this to him: the Jedi were victims, the Jedi were not evil, no Obi-Wan isn't evil, Obi-Wan didn't repress and abuse Anakin, no Qui-Gon Jinn was not the bestest Jedi who did things differently than any other Jedi and if only he lived he would've saved Anakin Skywalker. Anakin Skywalker did not fall because he was sleep deprived and had one bad day, he fell for a number of reasons, including that he made choices, which choice as a theme is something George Lucas very deliberately has chosen to emphasize repeatedly in Star Wars. Also, Jyn Erso is an actually interesting character and I think she does care about rebelling, the problem is the repressive totalitarian regime she lives in. It's understandable she'd be a little cynical and despondent after 20 years of Empire. TLJ is not the best sequel trilogy movie, Kylo Ren's a little bitch and should've died sooner. Dave Filoni can kiss my ass. "within the context of the prequels it's hard to see the jedi as the good guys --" no. absolutely not. get some reading comprehension you moron. that's the whole point. the whole point is the jedi were the victims of a plot designed to force them into a position where all they had were bad choices. Anakin chose to murder men, women, and children long before he ever became Darth Vader which is a fact so many people seem to gloss over. "they killed his mother -" and?? he didn't just kill her torturers, he killed children, too. your boy committed massacres and genocides in canon. im not talking about legends or any recent books in comics, but solely about the movies. I get still liking him as a character, but to say that Anakin has done nothing wrong is a take that I just can't understand.

folk music is different than country music. im sorry but it is. yes there are similarities. no I can't explain the differences. but country music is not necessarily folk music, or "stomp-clap" music as you called it. tell me you don't listen to country without telling me. arguably the best argument you could've made about the push back of country music pop-ification is the rise in popularity of artists like Zach Bryan, but you didn't, you started talking about fucking Mumford & Sons. my good dude. no. google them. they're literally described as a folk rock band.

edited 6/23 bc I realized I was drunker then i thought and this was semi-incoherent. hopefully that clarifies things.

[bitegore]

every so often i have to really wonder about the people who watch me talk about how badly i want someone to let me hurt them and fantasize about murdering imaginary characters i like and somehow assumes i'm a sub primarily and wants to be killed and chased and not, like, do the killing and chasing

[robinsnest2111]

idly wondering with what experts would diagnose me if I was 100% truthful and could remember every single thing that happened to me and every single quirk I developed because of it <3

[naenaex0xx]

I forgor...

[eggmeralda]

I may have lost all hope

[vrmxlho]

Hi hru? I'm doing good. (Me tryna strike up a Convo cause i just wanna know if you're alright or not—)

ARXX I'M GOOD HOW ARE YOU???

[tiredsadpeach]

I don’t think any of my friends would even notice if I just isolated myself lmao

[dennisboobs]

oh yeah, i love the always sunny book! my favourite parts are the insane cringe-inducing mischaracterization present in every single one of the "audio transcription" sections, the prioritization of shocking, edgy, gross-out humour over actual funny jokes... and you know, i gotta give props to the admirable work of reducing characters to one singular bit, especially charlie's cheese thing, which, while funny in small doses, is absolutely HYSTERICAL when talked about nonstop over several hundred pages. also love the implication that charlie regularly disposes of corpses for the gang. and the addition of slurs in a book that came out in 2015, long after the show dropped their usage, is also really cool.

but at least dennis

[snekdood]

Ppl gotta understand that just bc you do x thing because you're mentally ill, doesnt mean your actions dont have the same effect if you weren't. Like if you've been manipulative to your friends, you cant get mad at them for not sympathizing entirely with you when you go on about how they dont accept you for your mentally ilness. Regardless of your reason, you were still manipualtive, you fucked with peoples trust. Theyre still gonna have trust issues about you even if its bc of whatever mental illness you have.

[alexanderwales]

I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.

A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.

The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.

The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.

A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.

A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.

Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.

Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.

Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".