#I believe we are stronger than they know
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If it’s true what they say
I’ll be on my way
But who are they to say
What the truth is anyway?
‘Cause the ones who tell the lies
Are the solemnest to swear
And the ones who load the dice
Always say the toss is fair
And the ones who deal the cards
Are the ones who take the tricks
With their hands over their hearts
While we play the game they fix
#I believe if there is still a will then there is still a way#i believe that with each other we are stronger than we know#I believe we are stronger than they know#i believe we are many#i believe they are few#and it isn’t for the few to tell the many what to do#is it true what they say?#hadestown#orpheus#if it’s true#fuck I love this song
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Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !
Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)
I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!
someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)
uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 4 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 4 spoilers#mel is so cute but mal fits with the rest of the draconias better#eng version no you were supposed to save me not make things MORE confusing#anyway raverne huh#that uh. that sure feels like it's supposed to evoke raven doesn't it.#what does it mean WHAT DOES IT MEAN#hold on i'm going to flail around embarrassingly about anime character theories now#(okay first a disclaimer: i do think we need to sit down as a fandom at some point)#(and have a discussion about exactly what is actual canon versus meta speculation versus jokes)#(because i think there has been. some confusion. over that re:crowley and raverne specifically)#(but i do feel justified in being like THEY ARE PROBABLY CONNECTED SOMEHOW RIGHT?! right now)#like i really don't think it's as simple as crowley being raverne but with memory loss or something#(and if they pull that on us i'm going to need an EXTREMELY good explanation to go with it to justify that)#they've gone out of their way several times now to make a point about them acting and sounding different and it feels very intentional to m#(and once again: i super 100% absolutely do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him with the top half of his face covered)#i just think the contradictions are a lot stronger than the connections right now but there ARE some connections and i'm 👀ing at them#to be fair the connections are mostly meta like crowley being diablo/raverne being evocative of raven#also the general 'raverne mysteriously disappeared and apparently had distinctive eyes' thing#versus 'crowley's past is unknown and he never shows his eyes'#(i will argue that crowley DOES seem to have some kind of canon connection to briar valley)#(since he is clearly some sort of fae and the masks are a briar valley thing)#and that is kinda it right now isn't it#okay hold on i had to delete some tags because i used too many (thanks tumblr for letting me know and not just vanishing them OH WAIT)#so tl;dr: i'm in the 'crowley is connected to raverne somehow but it's more complicated than just him being in disguise' camp personally#but that will probably change as we get more info and also don't take this as an anti-speculation thing because i love theories HOORAY
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When you're one of the most selfish mc who only saves people because it's part of a job you never wanted and did not get to chose or you would've died, who took your co-workers' morals and ideals because you didn't have any and desperately wanted to fit in somewhere, be it with the heroes or the villains, who's activelly haunted by one the most tragic past to have been created and suffer from a psychosis so bad (dare I say schizophrenia) that even your enemies acknowledged that you are mentally ill and objectively flawed in your judgement, never hesitated to try to kill anyone and has the most egoistic reason to be a good person but the fandom still thinks you're just a kind crybaby "I don't know what a gun is" homosexual twink.
#him being refered as an angel by Shibuzawa is FUCKING IRONIC !!#ASAGIRI IS ALWAYS IRONIC WHEN IT COMES TO LIGHT NOVELS CENTERED AROUND ATSUSHI#Ex : The plot of 55min being parallele to the Decay of Angels arc#He's also called the Man-eating tiger and yes I do think that Dazai lied to him when he said he never ate anyone to preserve his psyche#and was also called “the man who can see the future” and has time travelled with Akutagawa like why aren't we talking about that#his relationship with Mori is also actually good#Mori is one if not the only character who saved and helped Atsushi during their first meeting and kept good contacts with him#because yes Atsushi has seen Mori knowing that he was the pm boss off-screen and they had a normal exchange#I also think that Shibuzawa Atsushi and Fyodor are connected to a form of Holy Trinity#Believer/God/Angel or Messenger#Joseph/Jesus/Mary#or Fyodor and Atsushi as Jesus and Judas#but the instance of trinity in bsd are dare I say extreme#Oda/Ango/Dazai#Sigma/Fyodor/Nikolai#Atsushi/Akutagawa/Kyoka#and so on#and the whole situation around his ability which is unlike any other#It turns him into Byakko (her own being) (similar to Natsume) and nullify his wounds no matter how lethal (similar to Dazai and Yosano)#and enhance him even with his ability off making him constantly stronger than other characters and dare I say equal to the hunting dogs#yk the MODIFIED humans#and the plot of both 55mins and Dead Apple being around abilities and giving us Atsushi lore make me think that Atsushi and Byakko are 1/2#probably a sort of higher being since some abilities are very religious centered (how Fyodor sees abilities and Shibuzawa) 2/2#but I think it would lend toward a ���sinner” position which would be crazy because that Atsushi would then probably be the reason why Fyodor#hates abilities so much if Atsushi and Byakko are somehow be connected to the “sin” of abilities#and so you guys know Atsushi's orphanage was a church so yes he's related to christianity#and the Decay of Angels is LITTERALY full of religious people to different degrees#and it would be ironic (once again) if the antagonists were the “Angels” and the protagonist a demon#I just realized that I did a lot of typos sorry I got too excited#but yeah keep calling bsd bad written (we're on barely chap.115 no good manga was finished by chap.115 guys just wait for the rest to drop)
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2x21 "crisis" really is a perfect episode
#mash#i cannot BELIEVE the plot of this episode was really it's cold and we need to snuggle for warmth#the supply line got cut off so we need communal sleepovers for Morale Reasons#it's PERFECT!#i just know frank is that kid who's like 'can we please be quiet and go to sleep'#frank thinks they're gonna get in trouble if they're too loud#i'm going to finish s2 today and i really enjoyed it overall!#i think it's stronger than s1 (understandably) and the episodes have more rewatchability#however on the other hand there episodes like for want of a boot and as you were that feel like all set up and no payoff#similarly dear dad 3 didn't really feel committed to the epistolary format and didn't do anything interesting or meaningful with it#also bc i am a person who loves spoilers and context i know what happens to henry so every passing episode i am filled with dread#that's my DAD what do you MEAN he's gonna get shot down over the sea of japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also mclean stevenson is giving possibly my favourite performance. he's just Saying things by accident#not one word in his mouth has ever been there on purpose he is possessed by the spirit of your dumbest uncle#i'm still lukewarm on trapper. the vulture instinct i feel on account of him looking like buddy the elf has settled#i no longer want to tear that man to shreds out of primal rage i only wish he'd get his own plot & a more distinct personality#those are all my thoughts rn#i have to bribe myself with the Very Special Gay Episode so i can finish this cover letter#id in alt text
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there's a black label blue beetle book in my head that will not ever ever leave now i don't think
#copious amounts of body horror are why black label#but like. i have an opening scene in my head right. pretty aged up from current canon. the reach starts a new invasion on a day that just#so happens to coincide with milagros quince años. the gls go to deal with it and because someone else is handling it#jaime refuses to leave. because it's his sisters quince he can't leave that. but then the reach activate some kind of plan that is supposed#to remotely take control of the scarabs. but because khaji is broken it doesn't quite 100% work. but it works enough that jaime and khaji#start to lose control a little bit. or more than a little bit. but still enough control to try and get out of the party to not hurt anyone#(especially to avoid hurting milagro) but wouldn't you know the reach are much stronger than they were last time. one of the lanterns falls#and the ring makes its way right on over to the party#green lantern!milagro#because i've seen a lot of posts of that and now i'm obsessed. but the first thing she has to do as a lantern is try and get jaime back#and also fight him. because he is mostly not in control#but he ends up getting away still fighting the reach for control. guy gardener (followed the ring) gets there and sees the tail end of this#and he knows that now he's gotta help fix this. and call boostle#things are going spectacular /s. by the time we next see jaime he is simply. not there. it's just khaji in charge. milagro tries to reason#but khaji will not tell her what exactly is going on beyond that jaime is safer this way. she does not believe him at all#and then other stuff happens but this is getting long for tags lol. should i main tag this? probably not but i'm feeling brave#jaime reyes#this is all inspired by a bunch of tumblr posts i saw
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Putting some respect on my man Kakashi’s name.
It’s canon that while the sharingan had its advantages it was a huge drain on Kakashi.
It’s also stated in his book that he got stronger than his war arc self, being able to hold a mud wall jutsu on his own for three days. A feat that was so impressive the enemy shinobi he faced believed he HAD to be multiple people to manage it.
#you can say the books arn’t canon all you want#whatever#but they’re the only place where his strength post war is talked about#everyone who says he got weaker without the sharingan is pulling bs out of their asses#there is zero proof of these words#and to be clear this one ‘ONE OF the strongest’#not the strongest#obviously Kakashi is not the strongest#Hashirama and Naruto are god tier shinobi#no one is beating them#but we have no reason to believe that hiruzen minato tsunade or tobirama are stronger than Kakashi or even Each other#we know dick all about minato and tobirama’s actual stats#it’s very possible Tobirama was genius af at making things and not that great at actually fighting without the flying raijin#and Tsunade’s stats are 35 which is the same as orochimaru’s#so i don’t know why people act like she’s weak when she has better stats then hiruzen (as does Kakashi)
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everyone asks.....where's Makoto..... but nobody asks........HOW'S Makoto
#ooc ramblings.#this is like half a joke but very few people in DR canon actually ask him how he's doing and are instead like bro you can't give up on hope#i still think the coolest progression for his character (and a natural one) would have been him to fight because he PERSONALLY#CARES. that's always been a stronger motivator for him than the idea of hope Komaeda and the fanbase takes around#he cares so so so so so much about the people around him and in his life man#Makoto is also the only main DR protag who is locked into the dichotomy at the end of his story and that kinda sucks since everyone#else got their moment#D.R3 really should have been longer. imo despair arc can be completely cut because we didn't need to know the exact process#a strength of D.R's writing is that it presents these absurd and awful disasters that sound impossible like the Tragedy but it#avoids the question of ''how'' because the result is more important here to what the story is trying to communicate#at least back in D.R1 I mean. they go more into the lore and backstory in DR2#Junko outright refusing to explain how the Tragedy happened back in DR1 because the others wouldn't believe her anyway was an EXCELLENT#writing choice. because it's true!
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lgbt latinos don’t forget the power you have
#evidence of life#if you know you know i’m not talking uwu support lgbt latinos i’m saying people underestimate us but we can do DAMAGE#every single of y’all whose left ‘come to brasil’ under a post has the power to kill a man you might not know it but use your teeth#god probably speaking through me again so what im saying is probably not really clear but it will reach the right people i believe#even the twiggly twink you can maim !!!!#no one stronger than latino who never gets their fave in their area blessed is the latino dealing the stigma of having an accent#the latino raised catholic the latino who’s grandma /is/ their mum the afro latino dealing anti blackness from other latinos i could go on#if we collectively snap it would be over for everyone
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tag drop !
#* ` i did not know you before so to me you are normal › ic.#* ` when this is over we may still be friends › ooc.#* ` your earth ways are strange to me. › meme.#* ` i am stronger than i look › lore.#* ` you may not value my life but i still value yours › quiz.#* ` the greater the struggle against your power the more it resists › main v.#* ` embrace what you have inside & let it become you › starter call.#* ` i still believe in friendship › space mail.#* ` i will never serve you › her.
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transmeds would probably call me a trender despite the fact that I am legally, hormonally, and mentally a Trans Man because I have long hair and painted nails and enjoy wearing colours, I de and retransitioned more than once. and also I don't really care about being called invalid or a trender by one of my own who's too afraid to be kind.
governments and politicians are trying to eradicate us the world over and your concern is another trans person being mean to you and saying you're not valid? I think we have bigger fish to fry. and on the flip side some bitter, lonely kid who rightfully fears not making it past 18, is making up rules for how to be trans and talking about it on their blog because the whole world is telling them they're wrong and they're desperate to find a way to make it right. I obviously don't find it tasteful but that person is not our enemy.
anyway the true threat to the trans community is those who are trying to eradicate us, our supporters, and our safe spaces. we'll have time to argue with the Blair Whites and accept the apologies of the Storm Ryans - but only if we aren't legally forcibly detransitioned, groups disbanded, and the internet sterilized to a point where we can't find each other again. I would rather have a cohort of angry trans people who don't get along than to be alone.
#sorry y'all. I've been around the block a few times#I just don't believe that ostracizing any trans person for any reason is something that will help them or the cause#and as we know accusations and callouts can ruin lives especially transfeminine and POC can have IRL consequences#so. if you're mad someone in your same community was mean to you#let's use those community building skills and understand you still are in community with these people#we need each other.#say so when someone hurts you so we can make our community stronger. don't run to tumblr to gripe to strangers#do something and create the community you want then!!#create kind and expansive ways to say 'that hurt my feelings and I didn't appreciate that'#rather than creating a agab or gender presentation battle because you feel the need to fight to prove yourself valid#transmedicalism
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oh my god. oh my god. oh my fucking god no fuck
#fuck he was fucking abusive HE WAS FUCKING ABUSIVE#he told me i wasn’t allowed to talk to my friends about him and i wasn’t allowed to apologize#when i’d tell him he hurt me he’d joke that it was my fault and that i deserved it#he constantly felt the need to prove that he was stronger than me#which i did too but i treated it as such a joke#he was threatening in such a lighthearted manner all the fucking time#he’d get really angry and then i’d have to try and get him to just listen to me but he wouldn’t and then when he’d finally come down he’d#fucking grovel and apologize a million times and tell me he didn’t deserve me because he was so awful#he’d remind me constantly how socially inept i was#he told other people that i got on top of him when he held me down#and would try to spin it so they wouldn’t believe me when i said otherwise#he outed me to someone i didn’t really know#pinned me down as part of a game we played. joked about how it looked like rape. and told me that it was stuff like that which made him call#me a whore. and it was a joke but was it?#told me casually that his friends would harass me about whether or not we’d had sex#fuck#fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#FUCK i. do not know how to proceed#i hate him and i miss him and i fucking hate that i miss him fuck#fuckk#tw vent#tw abuse#i. guess#fucking. fuck#i knew he was manipulative i cried so much about it to myself#but i somehow forgot#and it’s still fucking working because all i can think about is that it was my fucking fault
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be my angel
in which BAU fem!reader was injured on the job, but is refusing painkillers at the hospital. spencer thinks he knows why.
fluff (+a little angst) warnings/tags: established relationship, hospital stuff, reader got beat up by an unsub, discussions of spencer's past addiction, mentions of period cramps, reader ends up being administered some sort of painkiller a/n: another draft i found in my literal hundreds of pages of abandoned wips and fixed up cause it's cute, I hope you like!!!
Spencer is tearing through the hospital. They all keep saying you’re going to be okay, but what does that even mean? Why is nobody telling him anything? He’s not even sure he heard what the orderly at the front desk said, but his feet are carrying him with a strident purpose through the winding white halls, so he has to assume he at least subconsciously knows where he’s going.
Finally he spots Penelope, a beacon in her candy-colored clothing, speaking to a doctor in hushed tones. Penelope sees him approaching and turns away from the doctor, looking harried and exhausted.
“Is she okay? What happened?” Spencer demands, before either of the others can say a word.
“She’s okay,” the doctor assures. “She was beat up pretty bad—concussion, broken ribs, some bruising that looks worse than it is. There was a clean shot through her arm, but—”
His blood runs cold. Nobody told him you were shot. Why had nobody told him you were shot?
“I need to see her.”
The doctor frowns, glancing between the two agents.
“I’m sorry, are you her spouse?”
“Yes. No, not yet, I just—I need to see her, please. Now.”
“Sir, unless she—”
“Just let him see her!” Penelope practically yells. “She wants him here, believe me.”
The doctor clenches her jaw and scribbles something on her clipboard.
“Okay. Maybe you can try to convince her to accept some painkillers.”
Spencer’s frown deepens.
“She’s refusing pain management?”
“We gave her as much ibuprofen as we could, but she refused anything stronger than that. She has to be in a lot of pain right now, and there’s no background of addiction.”
“I’ll talk to her,” Spencer says, already twisting the silver door handle. He has a sneaking suspicion as to why you denied pain treatment, and it makes him feel incredibly guilty. More than he already did, after this entire debacle.
The sight of you, bloodied and bruised and obviously suffering has his heart splintering right down the middle. Whatever meager semblance of a smile he can scrounge up and offer is reflected back to him on you—which only makes him feel worse. As always, you’re putting on a brave face.
“Hey,” Spencer says quietly as he closes the door behind him.
“Hi,” you croak. “How do I look?”
He approaches, sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing your hair away from your face.
“How do you feel? The doctor told me you wouldn’t accept pain medication,” he murmurs.
You sniff.
“I feel okay. Did she tell you it’s not as bad as it looks?”
But your voice is so small, so wavery and weak, that he knows you’re lying.
“Sweetheart...”
You’ve been holding it together since the unsub beat you nearly unconscious. You held it together as he ran away, even got a couple shots in before he turned around and returned fire. You held it together while you sat against the dirty truck, bleeding out, not sure if your team was coming, and you held it together in the ambulance, and for the past thirty minutes in this hospital bed. But all it takes is one gentle word from Spencer, with that concerned, solicitous look in his eye, and the floodgates are opening. Tears spring up in your eyes and begin silently falling down your dirtied cheeks.
“It’s okay!” you attempt to reassure him, affecting cheeriness even through the tears. “It doesn’t hurt. I’m fine!”
He says your name soft and low and he tries his best to keep his tone even though he is liable to burst into tears or start yelling at someone (not you) at any minute.
“I know that’s not true. You have broken ribs and a gunshot wound. I know how badly it hurts to breathe and how it feels every time you move your arm. That is too much damage for over-the-counter anti-inflammatories. You need real analgesics.”
“I don’t,” you whisper. Your teary eyes make his whole body ache. He squeezes your hand—the one that’s not connected to the wounded arm.
“Because of me?” You stare at him blankly, as if you’re shocked he was able to put two and two together. “I promise you don’t need to worry about that.”
You sniffle.
“But what if—what if they give me the drugs and I get all weird and it’s, it’s like... triggering for you, or something?”
“It’s been a really long time since I’ve worried about that. I’d rather see you a little tired and out of it than in extreme pain and trying to pretend you’re not. You getting the pain relief you need in a medical emergency is not going to make me relapse.”
“But I really think I could go without,” you begin, voice already tightening around a cry. “I’ve—I’ve had period cramps that were worse than this.”
Despite himself, he chuckles. Goes back to stroking your hair.
The laughter fades quickly. All the pain you’re in is so evident in your eyes. The dissociative glassiness, the tension around them, the bloodshot quality—he's seen it many times before, and he hates it on you.
“Will you please tell them you’re ready to take something? They won’t give you Dilaudid. It’s too strong. They’ll give you something that I’d have no interest in anyway.”
“Not funny,” you whisper.
He ignores this.
“Will you let me call the doctor back in?”
You take a deep, shuddering breath—or at least, you try to, before you’re loosing a sharp squeak that deteriorates into a little sob. The ribs.
Spencer doesn’t bother asking again, just gets up and begins to walk away as efficiently as his legs will carry him. You need painkillers and he thinks it might be fastest to just fetch the doctor or a nurse from the hallway.
“Wait,” you plead.
He stops. Reminds himself that you need him right now—not his medical opinions. Spencer turns back around and approaches again, crouching by your bedside this time.
“What, honey?”
“I don’t...”
You trail off, overcome by something like fear in the width and shine and nervous dart of your eyes. Spencer knows, everybody at the BAU knows, that showing fear to a serial killer will get you killed that much quicker. During your time alone with the unsub, which is a can of worms Spencer literally cannot psychologically open right now, you had to put on your bravest face. Even while you were being beaten within an inch of your life. Even when you thought you were going to die, alone, and that your team—that Spencer—wasn't coming back for you. Because that’s the kind of thing you have to do to cope when you’re at rock bottom. But you were terrified. Petrified. That doesn’t just go away—and Spencer knows it’ll be bumping against the surface until it finds a way out.
He has to remember that just because you look unafraid and you act unafraid doesn’t mean you aren’t.
“You were so brave,” he manages after he’s sure he can say it without incident, swiping moisture from your cheek. “You did everything exactly right.”
“I know,” you whisper, chin trembling. Spencer knows you, and he knows this kind of trauma well enough to know that you’re thinking, I did everything exactly right, and it wasn’t enough. I did everything exactly right and this is what I have to show for it.
“But nobody needs you to act like it wasn’t hard, okay? You don’t need to pretend like it doesn’t hurt. You were so, so brave, angel. You don’t have to be brave anymore.”
Your eyes squeeze shut, sending a new wash of tears over your tacky cheeks. A few moments pass. You say nothing. He hopes you’re not going to hide away inside yourself like he did.
“Will you please, please, let me get the doctor?”
At least this time you don’t immediately say no.
“Will you come right back?”
“Of course.”
Finally, you nod your hesitant assent, and Spencer presses a careful kiss to your forehead.
A few minutes later, the doctor—who was shocked that Spencer was able to so quickly change your very made-up mind—is back, and so is Spencer. It only takes a moment for them to determine the best course of action for you and soon the fist around his heart is loosening its grip as he watches some of the agony melting from your eyes.
“Better?” he murmurs as the nurse who’d administered the drugs leaves, fanning his thumb over the underside of your wrist. You nod, already appearing sleepy.
“Can you lie down with me?”
He smiles at the way your words slip against each other, simply relieved that you’re able to relax and no longer in extreme pain.
“Hospital beds aren’t rated for two people.”
“Spencer.”
It’s enough for him to climb onto the bed—not that he was ever going to deny you what you wanted to begin with. The fit isn’t exactly perfect—he's a bit too long and combined the two of you are just slightly too wide—but with some finagling it’s comfortable enough. Spencer has slipped his arm underneath you and your head is on his shoulder and he’s so glad to have you in his arms and so grateful that you’re okay he does something almost like praying in his head as he kisses your hair.
“Hey. Ask me about my bruises.”
“Why? Do they still hurt?”
“You should see the other guy.”
It’s dumb and it doesn’t make sense because you didn’t bother waiting for him to actually set the joke up—but he smiles dryly nonetheless.
“Can you please give me... I don’t know, 36 hours before you start making jokes about almost dying?”
“Clock starts now.”
“Thank you.” He feels your lips curve into a half-conscious smile against his neck. It’s a wonderful feeling. “How are your ribs? Breathing feels okay?”
“Mhm. Love breathing.”
“Mhm. And your arm?”
“Like I got shot.”
“Well, that’s pretty much unavoidable. But not as bad as before, right?”
“Right. Spencer?”
“What, my love?”
A little pleased puff of air warms his shoulder. He carefully rubs your hip.
“Will you tell me how brave I was again?”
He takes a silent, very deep breath.
“You were incredibly brave. And smart, too. I’m really proud of you for how you handled that situation. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I don’t think anyone could have handled it better. Especially when you chose to stay put by the truck, instead of chase him. I know that wasn’t what you wanted to do, but it was the right choice.”
“I thought you guys maybe weren’t coming,” you murmur, no hint of sadness in your smushed, flat voice—like you’re barely awake. “I waited half an hour and I thought you weren’t gonna find me.”
“Angel, I will always find you. We didn’t stop looking even once, as soon as we noticed you were gone. I’m just sorry I wasn’t with Emily and Rossi when they got to you.”
“’Nelope told me... she told me you got really angry and scary.”
He stares at the ceiling and considers this.
“I could see... how what I was feeling would be interpreted that way. I was pretty angry. But not at Penelope or any of them. I was mostly just scared.”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” you whisper. “And I’m sorry if I made you mad.”
“You did not. I wasn’t mad at you. And it’s not your fault that I got scared. You were just trying to do your job. None of this is your fault.”
“She also said that you said fuck like... three times.”
“Mm... doesn’t sound like me,” he evades. You giggle, and the sound is more a relief than any drug he could take.
“No, seriously, I’m so mad I missed it. I love hearing you swear. Tell me what you said—and you have to cause I’m all messed up so I get whatever I want.”
He sighs in mock annoyance.
“Well, she’s wrong. I only said fuck once. I used fucking as an intensifier twice.”
You hum.
“Sexy.”
“Alright,” Spencer laughs, flushing as he moves his hand to your shoulder. “Go to sleep before I tell them to up your dosage, weirdo.”
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic
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actual footage of me after reading this
bound beyond time (i’m forever yours) ft. mr. reca ☼ honkai: star rail
selected fandom : 崩坏:星穹铁道
xoxo, ieva ✶ @theother-victoria hiii, vic! i got you for secret santa; i hope i did him justice for you 💗
syn. in the center of every stage was you, yours was a face he couldn’t and never wanted to forget. the contrary applied to you in every life you’ve lived, all except this one. to his surprise—this time, his was the face you remembered from the times he extended his hand out to you after every performance.
In the center of every stage, there was you. From the cadence of your voice delivering every line to the precise movements of your hands emphasizing every emotion, you embodied perfection in his eyes. To him, you weren’t just a performer—you were the performance. The curtains couldn’t conceal your brilliance; instead, they framed it, accentuating the glow of your stardom with every rise and fall. It was every actor’s peak, one that he believed you were destined for.
Mr. Reca was an eccentric man, his reputation preceding him as one of the most celebrated filmmakers in the cosmos. His days were consumed by plotting intricate narratives, brainstorming ideas that pushed the boundaries of imagination, and nitpicking the finest details, all in pursuit of the masterpiece he dreamed of creating. Among the countless memories he had meticulously archived—keeping the vivid and discarding the uninspired—the moment he first saw you shone brightly in the former category. That meeting, etched into his mind, marked the beginning of something extraordinary. You weren’t just another actor; you had become the axis around which his creative world turned.
It amazed you how someone could devote themselves so entirely to their craft. Your perception of Mr. Reca had shifted over time, from initial awe to something more layered. If you could choose one word to describe him now, it would be finicky.
On set, Mr. Reca’s presence was undeniable. When he stepped into the center, a magnetic energy followed—commands spilled effortlessly from his lips, drawing immediate action from the actors and crew around him. His brilliance was as much a curse as it was a blessing. Inspiration often clouded his judgment, and you could see it in the furrow of his brow or the glint in his eyes, revealing whether he was boisterously elated or utterly dissatisfied with the unfolding scene. A lack of passion is discardable, while a hunger for new heights always reached the surface— it was the pinnacle for success.
As devoted as you were to your own craft, you knew you could never match his obsession. It wasn’t just passion for him—it was compulsion, a relentless pursuit of perfection that left no detail untouched. To stand in his world, under his scrutiny, was as overwhelming as it was inspiring.
Mr. Reca’s gaze lingered on you, sharp and unrelenting, as though he were dissecting every fragment of your soul. His eyes, dark and gleaming like polished obsidian, held a peculiar mix of scrutiny and reverence. It wasn’t a passing glance—it was the kind of look that peeled back layers, that saw beyond the surface, straight into the essence of who you were. It was the kind of gaze you’ve never grown accustomed to, yet were eagerly anticipating. Being valuable, being of use, it added a sense of belonging—as if you were born to be a performer.
(Deep down, you wanted that to be true too.)
Finally, he spoke, his voice low but resounding, filling the room with the weight of his words. “Do you know what you’ve done here?” He stepped closer, the intensity in his eyes burning brighter. “This... this isn’t mere performance. This is art, raw and untamed. Brilliant, utterly brilliant!”
The silence stretched as if the galaxy itself held its breath. Then, his voice dropped to an almost reverent whisper. “You don’t just act—you become. It’s a skill not many possess, your ability is what I’ve been searching the cosmos for! And yet... even perfection is not enough. I need more from you. Do you understand?”
“But director—”
He raised his hand, signaling for you to wait for him to finish.
He paused, his gaze softening just a fraction. “But mark my words—you are unlike any I’ve ever seen. You are the center of this world I’m building. It is your time to shine!”
You barely managed a nod, his words heavy with both expectation and strange admiration. Mr. Reca’s intensity was like a force of nature, sweeping everyone in his orbit along with it. He stepped back, his hands already sketching shapes in the air, as though he could see the entire film projected before him.
“More,” he muttered, half to himself. “More than this. This is a star’s performance, yes—but it must be a supernova. I need to see every raw nerve, every flicker of despair, every shred of hope clawing to survive. Anything less is mediocrity.”
His gaze snapped back to you. “And you are not mediocre.”
The words struck you, not for their praise but for their precision. They felt less like a compliment and more like a decree, as though failure wasn’t just unacceptable—it was unthinkable. It came off as a form of pressure, weights beginning to tower on your back as you took a deep breath.
“You ask for so much,” you replied quietly, your voice steady but tinged with frustration. “But what if I can’t give you more? What if I’m already giving you everything I have?”
He paused, visibly caught off-guard by your honesty. His hand, mid-gesture, stilled in the air. Then he laughed, a sound both unexpected and startling, sharp as glass but somehow rich with amusement.
“My star,” he said, his voice dripping with theatrical flair, “you misunderstand. It’s not that you lack—it’s that you don’t yet know how much you possess. My job is to pull it out of you, to strip away every inhibition, every doubt, until only brilliance remains.”
(I will break down the wall that is blocking your potential.)
His steps carried him closer, his figure looming as he peered at you with a ferocity that gave you goosebumps. “It’s not perfection I demand from you,” he murmured, his voice dropping lower, almost conspiratorial. “It’s truth. And truth is messy, painful, glorious. Do you understand now?”
You held his gaze, unwilling to let him intimidate you, and yet there was a flicker of something unfamiliar in your chest. Admiration, yes—but also a strange yearning, a desire to rise to his impossible standards. Not just to meet them but to exceed them, to see that glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes again. It was almost tugging at your heart, desire overcoming your senses. Even if the slightest hint of doubt remained, you’d lift your chin to stare him in the eyes—for it was the only way you’d ever be content with yourself.
“I understand,” you said, your voice firmer now.
“Good.” He straightened, his expression shifting back to his usual manic determination. “Because the next scene must be unforgettable. The audience must feel the weight of your love, your grief, your longing. As if you’ve lived it yourself.”
Your breath hitched. He wasn’t asking for a performance anymore; he was asking for something deeply personal, something real.
Incorporate your feelings into your voice; let it be apparent what you’re trying to convey.
Don’t let the audience “guess”, let them “know”.
It was the mantra you played in your head, several minutes before the soles of your shoes collided with the wood on the stage. The straightening of your shoulders, balanced posture, and a prayer that you wouldn’t forget any of your lines. You controlled the pitch of your voice, and the rhythm of the story you were demonstrating to the crowd. It almost seemed as if you weren’t doing a good enough job at that from his critique.
“And how would you suggest I do that?” you asked, folding your arms in apparent offense. “Pluck longing and grief out of thin air? Or perhaps you think I should have lived a dozen lifetimes to understand such emotions.”
His lips curved into a smirk, sharp and knowing. “Perhaps you have.”
The comment caught you off-guard, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if he was teasing or if there was some deeper meaning hidden beneath his words. He turned abruptly, his coat swirling around him as he strode toward the edge of the stage with haste.
“Come,” he called over his shoulder, extending a hand towards you. “We’ll rehearse until the stars themselves grow envious. I won’t rest until this is the greatest scene ever captured on film.”
You followed reluctantly, the weight of his expectations pressing down on you. But even as he barked commands and paced relentlessly, there was something in the way he watched you, his gaze softer than before, tinged with an emotion you couldn’t quite name. It caused you to allow him to take your hand, sharing the warmth and determination in his slender yet calloused fingers.
The rehearsal dragged into the late hours, the rest of the cast dismissed long ago, leaving only you and Mr. Reca under the harsh glow of the stage lights. He had become quieter as the hours passed, his energy focused entirely on you.
-
Practicing with Reca felt like an endless marathon.
“Again,” he said, leaning forward in his chair, the intensity in his eyes undiminished.
You delivered the line for what seemed like the millionth time, your voice cracking with exhaustion.
“Better,” he murmured. Then, after a pause, softer still, “You’re getting there.”
It was the closest thing to praise he’d given all night, and for reasons you couldn’t explain, it made your chest tighten.
“Do you ever stop?” you asked, half-joking but half-serious.
He looked at you sharply, as though the question had offended him, but then his expression shifted. “Stopping is for those who are satisfied,” he said, his voice unusually subdued. “And satisfaction... is for the ordinary.”
You tilted your head, studying him. “And what about happiness? Do you think that’s ordinary too?”
The question seemed to catch him by surprise. He leaned back in his chair, the shadow of a smile playing on his lips. “Happiness,” he echoed. “Perhaps. But happiness is fleeting. Creation—true creation—is eternal! Once this is ingrained into your soul, you will find what you truly desire.”
You stepped closer, emboldened by the rare moment of vulnerability. “And yet, for all your talk of eternity, you seem afraid of anything that lasts.”
His gaze snapped to yours, startled, and for a moment, the air between you felt charged with something unspoken. Then, slowly, he smiled—a small, sardonic thing. It annoyed you greatly, but your thoughts remained unspoken. After all, the director’s words were law in the field they were trapped in.
“You have a way of cutting to the case,” he said. “I’ll give you that.”
“You make it easy,” you replied, your voice tinged with amusement.
The silence that followed was different this time, less tense and more... intimate. His gaze softened, lingering on you as if trying to unravel a mystery he hadn’t yet solved. You could sense his delight through his eyes, that shined with a lovely brilliance as though the world had revealed its most precious secret.
“You are extraordinary,” he said finally, his tone low and almost reverent. “Even if you don’t realize it yet.”
For the first time, his words didn’t feel like a critique or an expectation. They felt like something else entirely.
-
Seeing you in another lifetime was something he’d never imagined was possible. Your position on set, the props, the lines you were rehearsing, he could view them in his mind as horizontal frames. The world seemed to momentarily glitch, as if the fabric of time itself had slipped, and he was stepping through a scene he was familiarized with. Is this what Deja Vu feels like?
He’s felt as though he’s done this before, standing in front of you like this—asking a question he never thought he’d ask. It was pure, unbridled curiosity—a rush of water that needed a blockage, your answer.
“Why have you decided to become an actor?”
“It wasn’t a choice, really,” you admitted. “It was... instinctual. Like breathing. I suppose it’s where I feel most alive, where I feel like myself. The stage.. feels like my home.”
He nodded slowly, as if turning your words over in his mind. “That’s how I feel about directing,” he said. His gaze drifted upward, past you, as though seeing something far beyond the theater walls. “Just as you were born to be a star, I was born to put your abilities to use—to create a revolutionary film with you as my main character!”
He is meant to control the narrative, yet often—he’d find himself oppressing your influence of turning this into something uniquely yours.
“I feel as though this is something I've told you before,” he spoke, his eyes snapping back to you, locking onto yours with a sudden intensity. “Do you remember anything?”
You swallowed hard, your pulse quickening. There was something about his words that struck a chord deep within you. A faint memory stirred—hazy and fleeting, like a dream you couldn’t quite grasp. You drew a blank, leading to your next words that carried a hint of uncertainty.
“No,” you admitted, “I’m pretty sure this is the first time you’ve said this, Director.”
“Then the lack of rehearsals is causing me to misremember, the universe is beckoning for us to get back on stage!”
“I won’t let this masterpiece stagnate while I still have time! Tomorrow, we rehearse Act Three until it sings—or until we all drop from exhaustion!”
You couldn’t help but giggle as he stormed off, already muttering notes to himself about lighting angles and blocking. Despite his eccentricities—or perhaps because of them—he had a way of drawing you in, of making you believe you were part of something monumental.
-
Under the dim glow of the stage lights, the set was transformed into a cavernous, otherworldly temple. The scene was surreal, layered with blues and silvers that shimmered like moonlight on water. Columns twisted upward into the darkness, vanishing into a false infinity. You and Mr. Reca stood at opposite ends of the stage, the energy between you crackling with tension.
“Ready?” he asked, his voice unusually soft, almost hesitant. Something was wrong. He seemed almost fidgety and it was beginning to bother you.
You nodded, unsure why this scene felt heavier than the others. The script was straightforward—a confrontation between a prophet and a wanderer, an exploration of fate and choice. Yet something about it felt... wrong, or perhaps too right, as though it didn’t belong to the film at all but was borrowed from somewhere else.
He stepped forward, his character—the prophet—looming with an unsettling grace. His robe billowed with each step, as if a phantom wind followed him. You remained still, the wanderer, your figure clad in tattered attire, a stark contrast to his grandeur. A contrast in energies paired with it.
When he spoke, it wasn’t Reca’s voice you heard, but something older, deeper, resonating in your very bones. “You’ve come far, traveler. But tell me, what is it you seek?”
You hesitated, your lines faltering on your lips. The stage around you blurred, its edges distorting like ripples in water. The script’s dialogue faded from your memory, and instead, words spilled from you unbidden, as though summoned from a place beyond thought. You could feel your words wavering, a habit Mr. Reca had forbid you several times, but you never remembered his exact words.
“I seek... clarity,” you said, your voice trembling. “A truth that eludes me. Something I feel I’ve lost.”
Reca tilted his head, his dark eyes glittering like twin stars. “Truth,” he echoed, a faint smile curling at the edges of his lips. “You ask for the impossible, for truth is fleeting. It is a reflection in shattered glass. And yet, you persist. Why?”
Your hands clenched at your sides, and without thinking, you took a step forward, emboldened by the unfolding scenario. “Because it’s all I have left! A memory I can’t place, a face I can’t name... but I know it’s there. Somewhere. I feel it.”
He froze, his gaze sharpening, and for a heartbeat, it wasn’t the prophet staring at you—it was Mr. Reca. His lips parted slightly, as though he recognized something in your words. But just as quickly, he slipped back into character, his voice cold and unyielding.
The way it should be.
(The way he needed it to be.)
“Memories are not absolutes,” he intoned. “They are fabrications of the mind, stitched together from fragments of dreams and shadows. What you seek is folly.”
“No,” you shot back, your voice rising with raw emotion. “What I seek is mine! And I will tear through the heavens if I must to reclaim it!”
For a moment, he looked at you as if seeing you for the first time. His hands, usually so precise in their gestures, wavered. He remembers you.
Then, breaking the tension, he closed the distance between you with sudden ferocity. He reached out and grabbed your wrist, his grip firm but not painful. His eyes bore into yours, his next words quiet but resonant.
“Do you remember me?”
(Do you remember this scene?)
The question wasn’t part of the script.
Your gaze was illusive, attempting to recall a line— even trying to conjure one from thin air. The temple around you seemed to ripple and fade, the illusion breaking apart. The stage, the lights, even the props—all felt like a thin veneer over something vast and incomprehensible. Like mesh fabric, it wasn’t difficult to see through—only if you paid close enough attention.
By now, he would’ve uttered your line to you if you’d forgotten—but that wasn’t the case. This was real.
“I...” Your voice cracked. “I don’t know.”
His grip tightened slightly, his gaze desperate now. “Think. Feel. There’s more to this than you understand. I’ve seen this before, lived it before—you’ve lived it before.”
The words struck like a bolt of lightning, leaving you breathless. A flicker of something surged through you—an image, a feeling, a name that hovered just out of reach. What was he talking about?
(Do I remember you?)
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you whispered, your voice trembling. It was like staring at a wolf who bared his fangs, where an incorrect answer could cost you your life.
He released you, stepping back, his expression unreadable. The prophet’s mask shattered completely, leaving only Mr. Reca—his vulnerability laid bare in a way you’d never seen before. “Then we’ve already lost time,” he murmured, almost to himself. “But perhaps this time, we’ll get it right.”
The moment lingered, heavy and tense. Then he shook his head, clapping his hands sharply. “Again!” he declared, his tone snapping back to its usual commanding presence. “From the top! And this time, don’t hold back.”
A scene fueled by pure, utter desperation.
But you couldn’t shake the feeling that the scene was more than a rehearsal. It was a fragment of something deeper—a connection that transcended lifetimes.
-
You didn’t remember him.
It was a devastating blow, one he couldn’t overlook no matter how much he tried. After so many lives together, only his memories remained intact—a cruel imbalance, as if the universe itself delighted in reminding him how fleeting your connection could be. It was like trying to hold water with your bare hands, watching it slip away no matter how tightly you clenched your fists. The offense he felt struck him like lightning, he could already imagine the dark clouds above his head—pouring heavy rains down his coat.
And yet, he clung to you, or rather, to the idea of you. To the fragments of the person you’d been in the countless lives you’d shared. Perhaps it was his curse, to be the only one who remembered, to carry the weight of your shared past while you looked at him with eyes that held no recognition. A cruel twist of fate, where you were always the star and the forgotten shadow trailing behind you.
This life, however, felt like the harshest punishment of them all.
He stood frozen on the street, staring up at the towering billboard where your face was plastered in bold, cinematic glory. You were radiant, even in stillness. The advertisement was for a new film—a blockbuster directed by someone else. Someone who wasn’t him.
The sight twisted the knife further. Out of every life you’d lived together, this one just so happened to be his least favorite. You didn’t know him. You didn’t work with him. And, worst of all, you didn’t belong to his world anymore.
A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he adjusted his grip on the bouquet of flowers in his hand. The bright, delicate petals felt absurd in contrast to the weight in his chest. What use were flowers when you wouldn’t pay any mind to him?
To you, in this life, he was nothing more than a stranger—a nameless admirer who might approach you after a performance with stammered praise for your acting. Not that such an assumption was false, but it was painfully incomplete. Admiration was a drop in the ocean compared to the depth of what he felt.
He wanted to be more than that.
He had been more than that.
He ran a hand through his already-disheveled hair, his fingers trembling as they brushed against his forehead. How many times had he vowed to stop chasing after you in lives like this? To let you go and trust that, somehow, fate would realign your paths? And how many times had he broken that vow the moment he saw your face again, his resolve crumbling to dust under the weight of his longing?
He couldn’t turn back now.
Not when his leather shoes had already trampled the floors of the grand theater, carrying him to the ticket booth just to be the first in line. Not when he had spent hours rehearsing how he might introduce himself to you. God, he was an utter mess—a man reduced to shambles by the memory of a love you couldn’t even recall.
The theater doors loomed before him, an entrance to a world where you shone brightest. He hesitated, clutching the bouquet tighter, the edges of the paper crinkling under his grip. What would he even say? What could he say? Should he even approach you?
For a fleeting moment, he wondered if he should leave. But his feet betrayed him, dragging him inside as though the gravity of your presence was impossible to resist even in this life.
He didn’t know what he was hoping for. A spark of recognition? A fragment of the soul-deep connection you used to share? Or perhaps just a moment, however brief, where he could bask in the warmth of your light again.
As he stepped into the theater lobby, the familiar hum of anticipation filled the air. Posters of you adorned the walls, each one a reminder of how far you’d come in this life—how far from him you now stood.
The flowers in his hand suddenly felt heavier. What use were they when he was chasing a ghost of who you’d been? When the version of you he loved existed only in his memory?
And yet, he stayed.
Because no matter how many lifetimes passed, no matter how often the story ended the same way, he couldn’t stop himself from hoping that this time, it might be different. That maybe, just maybe, you’d see him.
Not as a stranger, not as a fan.
But as someone you’d once loved too.
As he embraced the role of the spectator this once, he sat in one of the seats in the front row. Each seat is typically upholstered in rich and comfortable fabric, in a deep hue of crimson. The padding is firm yet inviting, crafted to cradle the audience through long performances.
It was almost as if he were dreaming.
He’s familiar with this scene, but his role was different in this life. He’s used to the praises from the audience for his directory work, glimmering eyes with the most reverent expressions—but this work was not his. You weren’t his.
The seats were filled to the brim, and the film was nothing short of astonishing—though he couldn’t give too much credit. There were too many plot holes that contradicted earlier events, some of the injuries looked feigned, the sounds were recycled one too many times for his liking— he could continue until sunrise if that was what it would take. The only thing that saved this film was you. In his professional opinion, of course.
It wasn’t simply films that laid buried in your inventory, but plays as well. It was an opportunity he wouldn’t miss for the world. The stage was yours, and everyone else belonged in the background—that was how it’s meant to be. As your tears kissed the tiles beneath your feet, the emotion in your voice had risen. What a wonderful sight it was.
The 25th of December, a holiday of caroling and the tearing of gift-wrappings. For him, it was only a day of solemnity.
The sight of you speaking to the other director made his heart ache, a sharp and visceral pang that tightened his chest. There you were, laughing softly at something the other man said, your hands gesturing animatedly as if you were sharing a private moment of camaraderie. He hated how natural it seemed, how effortlessly you connected with someone else in a way that used to belong to him. His fingers tightened around the stems of the bouquet he carried, the soft petals brushing against his wrist, as if mocking his hesitation to go through with this.
For a moment, he considered interrupting. He could stride over, extend the bouquet with a flourish, and perhaps even say something witty enough to draw your attention away from the other man. But what would be the point? To you, he was nothing more than a fan, a stranger whose presence was as fleeting as a gust of wind. The thought stung more than he cared to admit.
Ultimately, he decided against it. It wasn’t as if he could cut into your conversation, especially not with the radiant way you were smiling. The last thing he wanted was to tarnish that expression by making things awkward. Instead, he turned toward the hallway leading to your dressing room.
The narrow corridor felt suffocating, the plush carpet muffling his hurried steps as he made his way toward the door with your name displayed elegantly in bold, golden letters. A simple yet personal marker of the star you’d become. The star he assisted you in becoming in so many lives. He cherished those memories greatly.
He hesitated as he reached the door, staring at the handle for a long moment. The bouquet in his hand suddenly felt absurdly extravagant—delicate white lilies interspersed with soft pink roses, wrapped in a sheer ribbon. Would you even appreciate it? Would you know it was from him, or would it join the countless other gifts you received daily from fans and admirers?
Still, he couldn’t leave without doing something. With a sigh, he gently placed the bouquet on the small table outside your dressing room, arranging it just so. He adjusted the ribbon one final time before taking a step back to admire his handiwork. For a fleeting moment, he imagined your reaction upon finding it—your fingers brushing over the petals, your lips curving into a small, puzzled smile as you wondered who had left it.
But even that wasn’t enough to soothe the ache in his chest. He lingered a moment longer, his hand brushing against the edge of the table as though it might tether him there, might convince him to stay. But the sound of distant laughter echoing down the hall reminded him of reality.
With a deep breath, he turned and walked away, his steps brisk but heavy. The bouquet remained behind, a silent confession he couldn’t bring himself to voice.
Little did he know, you caught a glimpse of his face before he turned on his heel.
It was a cycle. He’d leave a beautiful bouquet in your dressing room, striding off with a snarky expression as if he’d just gotten away with a crime, completely undetected. He was aware of your gaze, and the slightest glimmer of hope filled his chest at the thought that maybe, just maybe, you’d seek him out.
The sky was beginning to darken, leaving him no choice but to exit the doors of his second home—letting the snowflakes drift onto his skin.
Footsteps.
And they were yours.
“Excuse me!” you called out, rapidly moving towards him before letting out a few pants—hinting at your rushed response to him leaving.
He froze mid-step, his breath catching in his throat as the sound of your voice cut through the cold evening air. The snowflakes fell in slow, lazy spirals, dusting his coat and hair, but he couldn’t bring himself to move or brush them off. His focus was on you. Come to think of it, when was it not? It almost caused him to chuckle.
His heart, however, betrayed him, hammering wildly in his chest.
You came to a halt a few steps away, clutching the bouquet of flowers he’d left in your dressing room. The sheer ribbon fluttered slightly in the winter breeze, and your cheeks were flushed—not just from the cold, he thought, but from the exertion of chasing after him.
“Are you the one who’s been leaving these?” you asked, holding the bouquet up slightly as if to emphasize your point. Your voice carried a mix of curiosity and something else—was it gratitude?
For a moment, he considered denying it. It would be so easy to shrug, to claim it wasn’t him, and slip away into the snowy night. But as his gaze met yours, he knew he couldn’t lie to you. Not when you’d gone out of your way to find him. Just as he hoped. Maybe this was the chance destiny had brought him to, would you remember him?
“Yes,” he admitted, his voice steady but quiet, the word lingering in the frosty air between you. “It was me.”
You blinked, clearly not expecting the direct confession. “But... why?”
He hesitated, the truth teetering on the edge of his tongue. How could he possibly explain it? That he remembered lives you didn’t, that he’d loved you in ways words could never encompass? Instead, he opted for something simpler, something you might actually understand.
“Do you know what you’ve done here?” He inquired, his voice filled with reverence and glee. “What you’ve conjured is no mere performance. This is art, raw and untamed.”
“These,” he pointed to the flowers that your hands clutched with the smallest amount of strength, enough to keep them from being blown away—yet not enough to dim their beauty. “Are gifts from an admirer of your craft, for you—my star, have cast your glance to even the dimmest areas in the theater!”
“Well,” you said after a beat, a kind smile tugging at the corners of your lips, “thank you. They’re beautiful.”
The silence between you was only filled with the sounds of children’s laughter as they gazed at toy trains through glass windows. This kind of atmosphere suited you, he believed.
“I never got your name,” you added, tilting your head slightly.
He hesitated, knowing that revealing too much could complicate everything. But then again, you’d sought him out—maybe, just maybe, this was a step forward.
“It’s Reca,” he said finally. “Just Reca.”
You gave him an amused look. “No last name?”
“Not one that matters,” he replied with a faint smirk, his usual snark slipping through despite himself.
You laughed softly, the sound like a melody he hadn’t realized he’d been longing to hear. “I think.. I remember you from somewhere, have we met before?”
Genuine surprise filled his features at your question, he almost felt his knees go weak at the realization that you remembered him.
“I believe we have.”
It was the only acceptable answer, every fiber of his being was begging for you to hold onto that recollection.
“I’m surprised I forgot in the first place.”
“Why, am I truly that forgettable? Let me make an impression so great to make sure that isn’t the case, hm?” He suggested, extending his hand—a gesture that you could reciprocate without hesitation.
“Coffee?”
“It’s eleven pm.”
“Please?”
(I’m glad you remembered, don’t ever forget me again.)
taglist 🔔 : @snobwhimsicality @mitsvriii @papiliotao @bladism @tragedy-of-commons @thestarswhisper @meirvelle @somatchajade @gladiolus-nyx @milk-violet
#YONA#IM SCREAMING#OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD GOODNESS GRACIOUS SCRUM DILLY UMPTIOUS GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMNNNNNNNNNNGHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRF#YOU DID HIM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD#YOU PUT SO MUCH LOVE AND DEDICATION TO THE CRAFT INTO THIS I CAN TELL#reca would be proud of u LMAO#still wont let you live down ur near crashout in bell's dms over writing reca#“i will break down this wall that is blocking your potential” IM LOBOTOMIZING YOU /j#THE WAY HE KEEPS DROPPING HINTS AND IT DOESNT WORK AND HE PROGRESSIVELY GETS MORE “:(”#I NEED TO SMOOCH THIS MAN UNDER A LIGHT SNOWFALL AT NIGHT WITH NO ONE AROUND#the way his obsession with perfection and going above and beyond is evened out with (name)'s content attitude toward the present THE DUALIT#oh he thought he was SO slick with his bouquets dumbass man we saw it ALL#i hear his voice in EVERY DAMN LINE yona u got him down PERFECTLY (said and heard in his damn voice)#the bystander in front of the billboard reminded me of that drawing challenge a while ago idk if anyone else knows what im talking abt but#iykyk#the longing in that scene.........#AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE#IT WAS FOR A FILM NOT UNDER HIS DIRECTION#(NAME) GOT FAMOUS UNDER ANOTHER DIRECTOR NOT HIM#reca stronger than me cause personally i wouldn't let that slide#lvl 100 crashout in the middle of penacony#“im glad you remembered” THEN GIVE ME SOMETHING TO REMEMBER YOU BY IN EVERY LIFETIME DUMBASS (lovingly)#i cant believe you were cooking this hard behind my back THIS WHOLE TIME IM IN SHAMBLES#heh............ sneaky yona#overall absolute cinema/10 read#will be going back to this as my nightly fic before bed without fail EVERY NIGHT#victoria.reblog#hsr x reader#mr reca x reader#reca x reader
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the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.
women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.
what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.
i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.
fuck, man. write better material.
a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.
god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.
this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.
we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.
i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -
it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.
#posting my drafts#i want to stress im a taylor swift enjoyer. sorry.#also if someone wants to venmo me for the radfem hate i get daily i need like 60 bucks#someone stole my taylor swift official merch quarter zip :(#the point im specifically making in the tswift paragraphs i hope is clear which is like.#taylor is not threatening their ideas of masculinity or femininity. she is incredibly milquetoast. i mean i love her#but there's nothing about her that challenges the status quo. EXCEPT for her success.#and that's what pisses so many men off: the success.#so if THE VISION of white heteropatriarchy STILL is being treated this way.....#what do you think is happening to minority populations??#i just feel like be annoyed w/her about real things but being weird about her dating someone is like#soooooooooooooooooooooo fucking annoying. like ya know????#[said with the knowledge i need you to be soooo normal about how you interpret this entire piece and also these tags]
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I’m remarkably bad at food in general. I didn’t come from a household of cooks and my family doesn’t do food in a wholesome way. Food ends up being fuel that’s tiresome but necessary for the most part.
There’s also not like easily accessible classes or ways to really learn about food. So I really feel like I can’t be blamed for this one instance when I was living in Arizona.
I had moved there to be with my then-girlfriend. I ended up doing more of the shopping because she was working 11pm-4am shifts at the radio station and her sleep schedule was disastrously not conducive to daily tasks.
She requested lettuce for her lunch sandwiches. The morning after shopping I awoke to her standing over me in bed.
I sleepily greeted her and she said, “I’m not mad, but did you buy cabbage?”
My tired brain processed this. What was the difference between cabbage and lettuce? Lettuce was round. Was cabbage? I didn’t think cabbage was round. Wasn’t it purple? “No,” I said decisively.
“Come look at this.”
I dutifully got up to follow her to the kitchen. She pulled out the vegetable I’d bought. It still looked vaguely lettucey but I was starting to feel a tingle of uncertainty.
“It’s lettuce,” I stated, proving once again that just saying something doesn’t make it so.
“I ate a whole sandwich with it. It didn’t taste like lettuce.” Folks. It was cabbage. She’d eaten several leaves of raw cabbage. But in my defense why didn’t she know better?
“No, it’s definitely lettuce.” An undercurrent was forming between us. She knew I no longer believed this was lettuce. She’d eaten raw cabbage leaves rather than question me sooner about the purchase. But I was clearly willing to die on this hill.
“Where the receipt?”
What followed was an instantaneous mad dash across the kitchen to secure the receipt first. We flailed and squabbled at each other, both desperate to have our way with the truth of the matter.
My grubby little hands found it first and we wrestled down to the ground over the unassuming slip of paper. I was wily and quick, but she was stronger, and we tussled with our whole hearts over the inconsequential thing.
When it was clear she was moments away from overpowering me I shoved the whole receipt into my mouth like a frantic little Pac-Man, undeterred by the toxic bitterness of the receipt paper.
We ended up in stitches on the ground as I laughed and choked on the wretched thing. I spat it into the garbage and thus won the right to my fiction. It was lettuce.
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TW: yandere, noncon/dubcon, angst, unwanted pregnancy, blackmail, ish-baby trapping
PART ONE only avaliable on AO3 due to Tumblr restrictions
fem reader
You went cold and forgot how to breathe.
When you got to the kindergarten, they told you his father had already come and collected him early. All looking at you as though you were crazy, assaulting the daycare workers with your hands in a bruising grip, shaking her by her shoulders—demanding she tell you where he took him.
She spilled the name of some family restaurant down the road and said he’d wanted you to join them there. The poor thing was on the verge of tears when you let go.
Rushing out, you all but ran down the streets before pushing yourself through the doors—cold-sweating and swivel-eyed—in a panic, scanning faces with his name coming out weak under your breath.
With your vision spinning, you felt faint before you heard it.
“Mommy! Mommy! You’re here! Look! I’m King of the castle!” he shouted, and your peeled eyes snapped to see him up high in a bright red plastic tower.
But before your shoes could hit the soft foam of the playground, you were intercepted by something larger.
“He’s fine,” he said under his breath, catching and stopping you in your beeline, holding you by the waist. “I need to talk to you.”
Something old and instinctive didn’t bother paying him heed—as if forgetting how to speak, you just ignored him in favor of pushing past him, eyes glued to the sight of your son blissfully unaware, playing with other kids with an oblivious smile on his face. But his grip was stronger than your instincts, firm enough to keep you still but not enough to hurt you, even when you tried twisting yourself free.
“Come on,” he urged.
You were about to sneer something, finally looking at his face—that face you hated—but the bark of curse words got held back.
“Look around you. Let’s not cause a scene.” The wild animal within went silent while your eyes flickered around at the surrounding picnic tables where families were having their dinner. “We can talk outside. My assistant will look after him.”
You didn’t feel much inclined to listen, but still, even though it made you hate to fold on his behest—reluctantly, you accepted the sense of what he was saying. Looking back at your son still laughing up in his tower with cinched brows. You didn’t want to scare him when he didn’t know what was going on, even though you felt the need to scream at the very top of your lungs.
You allowed him to lead you outside, but as soon as the fresh air welcomed your rigid state, you were at once whipping around and pushing him away. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” snarling at him. “How fucking dare you?!”
“Calm down. He might still see us,” he hushed, hands raised in halfhearted surrender, casting a nod to the glass walls separating you from the frivolity inside. “Let’s just talk rationally.”
“Rationally?!” you scoffed in a shout, eyes still manic. “You fucking kidnapped my son, you psycho-”
“You wouldn’t answer my texts or calls,” he snubbed. “He’s my son too-”
“Fuck you,” you interrupted to return the favor. “If you fuck with me on this, I swear I’ll ruin you.” You had a finger raised at him, breathing furiously—looking down-right mad—sweaty and disheveled from your run with your face twisted with such a state of frenzy. “I’ll tell everyone how I got him in the first place!”
Despite the threat, he didn’t seem all that fazed.
“Think about it…” he said calmly, much in contrast to you. “Who do you think people will believe? A teenage mom abusing her son for a paycheck or his estranged father wanting to provide for him?”
You blanched, and before anything else made it out—whether it be more rage or something else, he was already further silencing you.
“Not to mention… the trial would be gruesome, and Junior would have to grow up with it always hanging over his head—is that really what you want?”
You look at him, and you still can't believe it. How could it have turned out like this? You’d been perfect only a month ago before he’d shown up at your apartment.
You thought you’d sent him on his way for good that day, but only now did you realize he had no plans to leave you alone.
“Come, let’s talk in the car. It’s cold, and you’re not dressed,” he ushered, taking your arm again where you stood, stunned and still, trying to wrap your head around his threats. Letting yourself be led into the black vehicle standing perfectly parked in its neat white rectangle.
You both got in the back with enough room to battle your homey sofa nook at home.
“I don’t want this to get ugly,” he started anew—his voice still so irritatingly calm, unfairly so. “I just want to see my son-”
“He’s not yours,” you croaked, feeling the situation slip from your fingers—battling a drumming heart, shifty breaths, and the mean sting of tears welling up in your eyes.
“If you try and keep him from me, I’ll sue for full custody. And given I’m the only one out of us who isn’t a pro-bono case and the only one with any future that isn’t managing a register, I’d say I have a pretty fair shot at winning.”
You can’t keep from bursting out crying then, overwhelmed by the fear of losing the only thing that mattered and the pure disgust of the man who’d given it to you. It felt like everything was tearing—your whole life—crumbling before your eyes.
“Don’t cry,” he soothed, his hand coming to drape your hunched shoulders where you held your tears. “I don’t want to take him away from you…” His attempt did little to comfort you, but the next words had your heart grasping for what little hope they offered. “And I’m not going to either.”
You looked at him through the hurt of swollen eyes, tears still falling while he wiped them away with the course pad of his thumb—rubbing your cheek affectionately. In any other circumstance, you’d surely slap him, but right now, all you could do was listen.
“I’m buying a house,” he revealed, still holding your cheek and gaze. “Fit for a family. Safe neighborhood, good school district, giant backyard.” The list went over your head—it was all too surreal to register. You couldn’t even fathom what he was getting at until, “I want the two of you to come live there with me.”
Stunned, you remained completely silent until the tears dried, and he let go of your face.
“You don’t have to say anything right now.” He reaches across you and fetches the seatbelt before coming back over you to click it in place. “I’ll go get Junior and drive you home. Just stay here.”
You do as suggested and stay seated as he pops his door open and leaves—feeling all but cemented in place as your thoughts go tumbling around and around as if caught in a rip curl. When Junior jumps in beside you, a farfetched smile is all you can offer. Thankfully, he’s so enamored by a toy he’d gotten to notice much of your state.
When your door opens again, you’re led out and onto your neighborhood street. The fresh air does little to clear your mind. Feeling all but feverish as you hold Junior's small hand in yours while the man of your nightmares smiles all too fondly at the two of you.
“I’ll come pick you up after your shift on Monday.,” he says decidedly—cheerfully as he ruffles Junior’s hair enough to make him giggle. “Bring the rascal with you, and he can pick his room first.”
You weren’t planning on staying. You were never planning on staying—certain you would leave the second the opportunity to skip town arose—you just need to scramble the money together first.
But the house was huge… nothing you could ever dream of, and while it made you desperate with grief, you couldn’t deny it either… Junior really loved having a dad.
It nearly brought sick to your throat to call him that. It was a shot through the heart every time you heard Junior’s boyish call, squealing with giggles, saying “Daddy, daddy, daddy-”
None of it seemed right to you. Seeing his bright smile, now at the age where a new tooth fell out every other week—looking so goofy as he proudly shows the two of you the new one he’d just knocked out playing soccer at school. “Mommy, Daddy, look!”
What’s worse is that you can't even deny how good the man you hate is at it all—spoiling him with gifts and making him laugh—giving piggyback ride after air-plane flight after tickle-fight and a game of tag and hide’n’seek.
And it’s not just the easy stuff. He’s good at the shit that used to make you go crazy—putting him to bed, getting him dressed, making him eat the right stuff, and not just scuffle down candy. It’s as if the two of them have developed a secret language you’re not a part of. If Junior weren’t a toddler, you’d even suspect he’d been bribed and told to do his best to make you lose your mind. But no, it’s just reality.
The man you live with drives and picks your son up from school as if he’d done it since he was born, goes with you to meet the teacher if and when he gets into trouble and helps the two of you pick out the right shoes—shoes that you can now afford, thanks to him.
“I thought I might sleep in the master bedroom tonight.” He says, leaning against the frame in the doorway.
You’d been living there a month now. He’d been generous enough to sleep in the guest room up until now.
You don’t know how to deny him. It feels as if anything you might say would just be ignored or threatened until you eventually took it back. You didn’t want him in your bed—you didn’t want him in the same house—in fact, preferably, you’d want him to be six feet deep in the dirt.
You end up not answering. But he’s used to that by now.
“I get it…” he says, taking steps into the room you’d wrongfully thought was your safe space. “You don’t trust me.” He sits down at the edge of the bed and reaches out across the sheets. You’re too late to pull your feet to yourself before he has one in his hand. He doesn’t do much but stroke it. “But you can.”
The sincerity in his eyes makes you want to gouge them out. It’s all been some cruel joke ever since you moved in—all the pleasantries and presents, as if trying to distract you from the past. Your wardrobe is chockfull of it, and so is Junior’s room—filled to the brim with lies.
“I’m never gon’ hurt you.” Another lie. “I did you wrong once, and I’ll spend the rest of my life makin’ up for it.”
You want to shake your head, laugh in his face—anything to reject it. But you’re terrified of what he might do if you didn’t play along. The threat of losing Junior is enough to make you cooperative.
“I know I’ve not been fair—pushin’ you into all of this so fast.” He gets down on his knees on the floor as if praying, right down beside you. “I took advantage of a vulnerable situation ‘cause I’m an impatient asshole—but I promise you—” He takes your hand in both of his. “If you give me the chance, I’m gon’ make our lives together like somethin’ outa’ a fuckin’ fairytale—all that happily ever after shit and more, just like you always wanted.”
The kiss he presses upon your knuckles beckons goosebumps to rise all across you. All his words feel like a bad script read by an even worse actor—in fact, this whole thing feels like a prank. And still, it doesn’t surprise you—he’s been laughing at you ever since you were children.
And now, laughing still, only with a fucking ringbox in his hand.
“I want Junior to see us as a united front. I don’t want him askin’ question why we ain’t sleepin’ in the same bed, why we fight behind locked doors, why you cry in the bathroom.”
He pops the black velvet lid and reveals something so outrages it almost looks tacky lying there in a plush bed of red silk.
“I want us to be happy.” He picks the little thing out and holds it up between his thumb and index, still holding your hand in the other. “I want us to be real.” You can almost see your life flash before your eyes as it threatens your ring finger. “Let’s make us real.”
You don’t say anything as he eases the tiny hoop on, sliding it all the way back until it sits snugly right at your knuckle—dazzling in the dark. A tiny tear slips down your cheek—equally dazzling.
He played some with the digit—a smile on his face.
“Looks good on you, Mrs.” As he calls you by his last name you almost shake the ring off as if it burned to wear, but it all gets lost when he rushes forward and locks his lips with yours.
You yelp against his mouth, kept from turning away by the large hand holding your jaw, threatening to seize your throat and squeeze. You remember how it had felt. You don’t want more of a reminder, so you intercept his tongue with yours before he forced it down your throat.
He groans at the warm welcome, and your entire body shudders in memory.
You hadn’t let anyone touch you since that time five years ago. It had left a poor taste in your mouth, and the hunger for it had never come back.
You choke it down now as he climbs on top.
♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Gojo, Naoya, Toji
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere smut#yancore#smut#yandere my hero academia#yandere boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia smut#mha smut#yandere mha#yandere bnha#my hero smut#my hero academia smut#bnha smut#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#yandere boyfriend#boyfriend#boyfriend scenarios
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