#fucking grovel and apologize a million times and tell me he didn’t deserve me because he was so awful

[buck-yyyy]

oh my god. oh my god. oh my fucking god no fuck

[everlarkbirthdaydrabbles]

Hello, everlarkbirthdaygoddesses! 😘 My birthday is April 1 (no foolin’!) ☺️ and I would love a gift to share with everyone in the fandom. If it were rated M/E, that would be purrrfect, but I'd be happy with anything. Thank you for sharing the love. xo

Happy Birthday, @katamount! The birthday ‘goddessess’ (your words not ours ;)) have decreed your special day a very worthy one, indeed. Thank you to @katnissdoesnotfollowback for the incredible part 2 of All’s Fair. You can find part one here. 

“We’re graduating in a year, Gale. Going into different branches with different bases and little chance of being assigned together,” Katniss says.

Unless we’re married. Even then, we’d maybe get one or two assignments together if we’re lucky, and there’s not even a guarantee of that.

But I can’t say any of that to her, because this is the first time she's even mentioned what happens after, and while my battered heart lurches at the knowledge that she's actually thinking about us in the long term...if she’s already thinking of dumping my ass over this, then mentioning marriage now would just be the nail in my coffin.

R.I.P. Gale Hawthorne. He opened his mouth too wide and choked on wanting too much.

“We can find a way to make it work,” I hear myself say, and the words sound useless even to me. A hundred million pleas sit on the tip of my tongue, all the things that won’t mean a damn without her, all the ways I want to fight for us, but I can’t stop my brain from jumbling them all together and she doesn’t need me to be a pathetic mess right now so I choke them back.

“Gale,” she says and it already sounds like ‘good-bye.’

I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fists, feeling the bite of the plastic cuffs into my wrists and hoping the physical pain will keep me grounded through the pain of her leaving.

“Just...do it fast, okay?” I whisper, hoping it'll be like ripping off a band aid and knowing it won't. “You don’t even have to say anything. Just...go.”

“That’s the problem,” she whispers back. “I can’t. It’s always been you, Gale.”

LOL! How many of you vomited? Don’t lie! We just couldn’t resist since this day only comes around once a year. @katamount you are a fan to all and a fabulous person in this fandom. We wish you the best birthday EVER! Your REAL story is below the cut. *hugs* 

All’s Fair

WARNINGS: RATED E for mild language, immature pranks, and smut. Everlark college/military cadets AU. ;-)

*************************

I’ve been on edge almost all day. Waiting for her to pounce.

It doesn’t help that I’ve been awake for twenty-two hours and only got about three hours of sleep before that. I’m just so tired and every corner I’ve turned today has been a moment of anxiety, waiting for gray eyes flashing in anger.

I jump when a stray cat darts out from the bushes next to my apartment building and then order my pulse to slow down. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I haven’t seen her or talked to her since she left me tied up and hard as fuck for her, the taste of her still lingering on my tongue. By the time Mason was done cutting my bonds and giving me shit, Katniss and her squad had already left, probably to report back on their pseudo-success. I was left to trudge through my day, waiting, wondering what she was thinking and feeling.

At first, I wasn’t worried. I’d thought we were flirting, pushing each other to see just how far we’d go to get what we wanted. I expected her to stop us at every turn, but she didn't, and those thirty minutes or so that we’d spent in my office had felt so...exhilarating, sexy. Even if we’d caught her squad, they still managed to complete their prank. And she’d easily gotten the upper hand on me, even when I knew what she was up to.

When my text messages to her went unanswered, though, I slowly came to realize how wrong I was. During my last class of the day, I began to accept that I had really fucked it up and started working on a suitable apology. It didn’t help that Finnick kept ribbing me all through our shared classes, despite my insistence to him that Katniss and I aren't more than friends.

She wanted to keep things low key. Just for us, but we've ruined that in spectacular fashion. I've ruined it. I didn’t meant to. Now, everyone seems to think they know, or always knew, what Katniss and I are to each other. I thought I knew, but I’m not so sure after what happened this morning.

Around dinner time, I stopped by all her usual places, since she hadn’t answered my calls either. But to no avail. I couldn’t apologize to her if she wouldn’t even see me. So I changed into jeans and a t-shirt, something more comfortable than my uniform, and hid myself in the library to work on my psyc paper. I really wasn’t lying to her about that, and I still have every intention of finishing it early, even if I spend my weekend groveling to her instead of taking her out to the lake for a relaxing weekend away from campus like I’d originally planned.

Now, it’s close to midnight, and still no word from her, although my paper is drafted at least. I’m not looking forward to a night spent alone. Even though she still doesn’t want to advertise our relationship, I’ve gotten used to sleeping beside her every night. Holding her in the dark. Because I’m beyond a goner for Katniss, and I'm not sure I can survive losing her.

“Fuck,” I mutter as I smack my forehead into my apartment’s front door frame. I didn’t think she’d take it this hard. But the longer the silence has stretched between us today, the more I’m convinced that I’ve finally messed up enough to lose her.

I let my arm go limp, keys dangling from my fingertips as I torture myself with the memory of her legs wrapped around my head, so tight that I could feel every spasm as she came on my tongue, but also so tight that I couldn’t hear a thing. I knew she did that on purpose, but it didn’t stop me from being turned on by it. By the thrill of playing that game with her. Of getting her to shatter when she knew she shouldn’t and was trying so hard not to. I wouldn’t be surprised if she hates me now.

Standing out here won’t fix anything, though, so I force myself to unlock my door and enter my pitch dark apartment. I flip the light switch and curse when nothing happens. Just one more thing to add to my list of why this day fucking sucks. I lock my front door and drop my book bag, pull my phone from my pocket to use the flashlight on it.

The light in the kitchen is blown, too, and I stand perfectly still, waiting for a sound or a noise. Pushing down the hope in my chest that this is her vengeance. An attack in my apartment in the dark? I can deal with that. It means I’ve got a chance to talk to her before she decides to publicly skewer me.

A creak in the bedroom draws me in there and I sweep the space with the flashlight to provide more illumination than what the street lamp outside provides. The lights in my bedroom don’t work either. Damn, she’s not playing around tonight. Only, there’s nothing. Katniss isn’t in here. I can feel my shoulders sagging with the realization.

I’ve just decided that she must have removed all my bulbs as the opening move of her retaliation and that I’m alone, turning to return to the kitchen and see if I’ve got any extra bulbs under the sink, when my bedroom door slams shut and I jump back, dropping my phone as she stalks towards me, still dressed in her camo pants and black shirt that make her almost one with the shadows.

“You,” she says, jabbing a finger in my chest. I hold my hands up in surrender and back away from her.

“Katniss, I--”

“Shut up. You don’t talk unless I ask a question,” she snarls and I guess I deserve it, so I clamp my mouth shut. My feet tangle in something on the floor and I go down hard, wincing at the blow to my pride and my backside as Katniss bends over me. I am so focused on the pain in my tailbone and trying to figure out what it is that I tripped over that my mind doesn’t register her moving my arms until the distinct zip-click noise fills my bedroom.

I look up at her in astonishment and try to tug my arms down from over my head. No give. She’s chained me to the leg of my own bed.

“Are you kidding me right now?” I say as she stands up with a smirk and crosses her arms over her chest. That’s twice in one damn day.

“Do I need to put tape over that pretty mouth, too?” she asks, and while part of me wakes right the fuck up at that idea, there’s just enough bite in her voice to tell me she doesn’t mean it as some kind of pleasant game.

“You think my mouth is pretty?” I stupidly ask instead.

“Shut it, Mellark.” I snap my mouth closed again and press my lips together.

“You caused me a lot of trouble today, you know that?” I nod and try to look contrite. Her scowl deepens and she sets one booted foot on my chest but doesn’t push down on me. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I didn’t know for sure it’d be your squad,” I blurt out and she lifts an eyebrow at me, telling me that she’s not convinced. “Look, there’s always at least one prank you guys pull on us around this time of year and Finnick and I have been trying to figure out how to prevent it or get you back for it this time. Then you started acting all weird and jumpy around me this week. I figured you might at least know what the plan was, even if you weren’t involved. When you told me you had a drill from two to four in the morning, I took a gamble that that must be it.”

“You could’ve asked me, rather than playing games, Peeta,” she says.

“Would you have told me?” I ask and can’t help the grin that lifts my lips, because I already know the answer.

“That’s beside the point!” she insists and presses her boot down on my sternum, although not enough to hurt.

“You’re right. I still would’ve figured it out. You’re not a very good liar, Katniss,” I say and enjoy the flush that blooms across her cheeks and the challenge that blazes to life in her eyes.

“And yet, you’re the one who keeps getting tied up,” she says and I flounder for a response. She preens a little when she realizes I don’t have much.

“Just a second, let me think,” I say and tug on the cuffs. How do I tell her that she keeps getting the best of me because I don’t guard myself against her?

“Something wrong, Peeta?” she coos and my pulse trips at her sensual tone. “Cat got your tongue?”

“I wish,” I say with a smile and her smirk falters. “So am I forgiven?”

“I was embarrassed today, Peeta” she says, her voice breaking a little and I hate myself enough in that moment for the both of us. “We had to report a failure and now I have to pick, plan, organize, and lead another raid.”

“It’s not required for graduation,” I remind her. “They can’t make you do that.”

“No, but it’s a tradition, Peeta. I lost a lot of respect today because of this.” She drops her boot to the floor and to my astonishment, she lays down on top of me, curls up on my chest, gripping my shirt in her hands and sniffling slightly.

“Hey,” I try to soothe her, difficult with my hands restrained, but I manage a kiss on the top of her head. I don’t know how to fix this mess, how to balance our loyalties to each other and to our respective corps. “Will it help if you take pictures of this? I mean, getting the jump on the Vice Wing Commander twice in one day’s gotta count for something, right? Maybe draw an army star on my face before you do it. In permanent marker.”

Her shoulders shake a little, but she doesn’t move to document my captivity. I lick my lips and swallow the pain balling up in my throat. Eventually, Katniss sets her chin on my chest and looks up at me, her gaze softer this time.

“They lectured me on breaches in security. Like the fact that I can't lie to my boyfriend means that I’d spill national secrets to a spy or something,” she murmurs.

“That’s a bit of an overreaction,” I say and she sighs.

“Yeah, but it’s the way they think. To them, I’m now just a silly school girl with a crush.”

I feel her words like a stab in the heart. We’re supposed to be on the same side, but these ridiculous inter-service rivalries make me a threat to her. To her success. And I hate myself for proving them and their backwards ideas true.

“Katniss, I’m so sorry,” I whisper. She looks down at my chest and traces her short nails over the writing on my shirt.

“At first, I thought they knew about us and maybe rigged the drawing as punishment,” she says and I swallow heavily. “But now it’s so much worse. My whole squad is paying the price. Gale won’t even speak to me.”

And I thought I couldn’t hate myself any more. I’ve managed to embarrass her and destroy her relationship with her squad and her best friend. Okay, maybe there’s a tiny part of me that’s not as upset about that last one as I should be. The piece of me that’s always been a little jealous that she’s so open about her friendship with Gale when she’s oblivious to how he looks at her. Like they’re inevitable and he doesn't even have to try. But she won’t so much as hold my hand in public. Not even when we’re both out of uniform.

“He’ll forgive you, especially if your next raid is a success. He cares about you too much,” I try to soothe. She looks completely unconvinced, and I know I have to give her the out she needs. As much as it will pain me to do it.

“Maybe we should, I don’t know... If you want t-to take a break...or e-end th-things,” my voice is shaking pathetically and the words nearly choke the life from me, but I shove them out anyways, “I’ll understand.”

And all I can do is chant in my head.

Please say that’s not what you want. Please say THAT’S not what you want. Please say that’s NOT what you want. PLEASE say that’s not what you want.

“It’d be easier,” she says and my heart breaks right then and there. The pain of her words blinding me to everything else. Even though I considered the possibility several times throughout the day, I never allowed myself to do more than think it in passing and then shove it away before it could destroy me.

“We’re graduating in a year, Peeta. Going into different branches with different bases and little chance of being assigned together.”

Unless we’re married. Even then, we’d maybe get one or two assignments together if we’re lucky, and there’s not even a guarantee of that.

But I can’t say any of that to her, because this is the first time she's even mentioned what happens after, and while my battered heart lurches at the knowledge that she's actually thinking about us in the long term...if she’s already thinking of dumping my ass over this, then mentioning marriage now would just be the nail in my coffin.

R.I.P. Peeta Mellark. He opened his mouth too wide and choked on wanting too much.

“We can find a way to make it work,” I hear myself say, and the words sound useless even to me. A hundred million pleas sit on the tip of my tongue, all the things that won’t mean a damn without her, all the ways I want to fight for us, but I can’t stop my brain from jumbling them all together and she doesn’t need me to be a pathetic mess right now so I choke them back.

“Peeta,” she says and it already sounds like ‘good-bye.’

I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fists, feeling the bite of the plastic cuffs into my wrists and hoping the physical pain will keep me grounded through the pain of her leaving.

“Just...do it fast, okay?” I whisper, hoping it'll be like ripping off a band aid and knowing it won't. “You don’t even have to say anything. Just...go.”

“That’s the problem,” she whispers back. “I can’t.”

My brain barely has time to register her words before her lips crash into mine and my eyes fly back open to watch her kiss me. She’s kissing me?!

I’m confused. But her eyes are closed and her fists are pulling on my shirt and her lips move over mine with firm determination. I try to talk, to ask what she meant, but her tongue takes my open mouth as an invite. I give up on talking as light sparks inside me, warming as it spreads from my chest outward. And I kiss her back, as best I can without touching her.

She moans in my mouth and shifts her body so she’s cradling my jaw in her hands and rocking her hips over mine, her knees pressing into my sides so her legs almost embrace me. My mind goes all hazy when she grinds her hips down, pressing my zipper onto my cock. I’m already half hard and if she keeps this up, I’ll be desperate in about two seconds flat.

I yank my arms down in an attempt to break the thick plastic ties binding me, but nothing gives. All I manage to do is drag my bed across the floor and hurt my wrists. Katniss sits up and smiles down at me, her hands slowly skimming down my chest then back up, over my shoulders and up the length of my arms towards the cuffs as she lowers herself back over me.

“Do you want something?” she asks in a sing song voice that tells me I won’t be getting what I want.

“Can we take these off now?” I ask anyways and tug on the cuffs again. She stretches out over me, her hands caressing over my skin, just below the cuffs, but just when I think she’s going to free me and let me touch her, she pulls back slightly and shakes her head. A desperate whine escapes my throat as I squirm beneath her, my hands flexing with the need to feel her.

“Who can’t lie, Peeta?” she asks, and fuck me if I don’t get harder at her taunt. I groan as she  bites my earlobe and pushes down into me with her hips. Again and again. “I'm still upset with you.”

Her motions and her whispers in my ear feel so damn good, they distract me from trying to get free. Instead, I brace my feet on the floor and thrust up into her. It’s her turn to gasp and I bite back a smile as her nails dig into my forearms. My jeans are too tight, tighter with each press of our bodies together and the resulting burst of pleasure that burns through me.

Without warning, she stops and I whimper, fucking whimper like a dog denied a biscuit. But she moves down my body and her hands yank violently at my belt, the button and zipper on my jeans. She grabs fistfuls of denim and pulls, taking my shorts too. I lift my hips to help, sighing in relief when my dick is free of the restriction, but she’s moving so fast that I lose my footing and fall back to the floor with my jeans and my shorts halfway down my legs.

She growls in frustration and moves again, tugging my shoes off before throwing them across the room and then tearing my clothes the rest of the way off. She moves around the bed and I listen to her pull the nightstand drawer open. She doesn’t bother closing it, but returns with the short strip of condoms I have left, dropping them on the floor next to me and standing over me, one foot on either side of my hips.

“Don’t I get a cuddle or something first?” I tease and she scowls at me. But I think maybe I understand now. She's had a rough day, faced failure and ridicule, and now she wants to feel like she can control SOMETHING, even if that something is us.

Katniss whips her shirt and sports bra off over her head and drops them to the floor before placing one booted foot on my chest. My palms ache for the weight of her breasts, my thumbs for the pebbled nipples already taut with desire.

“Unlace me, Mellark,” she orders.

“Can’t,” I remind her, jerking my wrists to prove it to her. Undeterred, she moves to set her boot next to my bound hands.

“Unlace me,” she repeats. Somehow, I manage to shift my wrists up the leg I’m attached to and blindly unlace first one boot and then the other. She sits on the corner of the bed, legs splayed on either side of me to finish removing them herself. They drop to the floor with resounding thuds. When she stands, she turns to face the bed and shoves her pants down her legs. I groan in agony at the view of her black boy shorts right above me and the damp patch between her legs. I am dizzy with the need to touch her and taste her, and I try once more to break free as she looks down at me with a sly smile.

“Katniss, please,” I beg. She tucks her thumbs into the waist of her panties and shimmies, slowly lowering them until they land on my face. She steps out of them and kicks them aside. I blink as she sits on my mouth.

“Fuck,” I say, but the word is garbled.

“What was that, Peeta?” she asks coyly, my name a squeak as I tilt my chin and suck on her lips. I fucking love eating her out. All the breathy little sounds she makes, the way she swivels her hips to get my tongue right where she wants it. Her taste like nectar, her scent a perfume. I could do this all day and die happy.

This is the first time she’s sat on my face and my hands are tied...literally. So I can’t guide her hips and she bumps into my nose and drops too low once or twice. She’s still enjoying it, though. Panting my name here and there in a beautiful song. Her legs shaking. Before I can get her close, she tears herself away from me.

I’m recovering from the sudden change and hardly notice her rip open a condom until her hand grips me and I buck into her touch. Before I can ask her to slow down a little, she’s got it on me and she’s lowering herself onto my cock.

“Oh fuck, Katniss!” I say as my spine bends and my head drags on the floor, my wrists aching as I strain against the cuffs and my cock throbs eagerly inside her wet heat. I don’t even try to control the sounds I make when her hands push my shirt up enough for her nails to burrow in my skin, hands clenched on my abs as she rolls her hips over me. But I want to watch and force myself to at least lay flat again so I can see her.

Eyes closed, braid swaying over her chest with her movements, arms straight and strong, holding me to the floor, mouth parted, tongue and teeth glistening, cheeks flushed. Radiant. Powerful, if a little vulnerable. Gorgeous.

As she speeds up, I once more bend my knees and brace my feet on the floor to rock myself up into her. Her hands move up to my chest as she groans my name and her walls squeeze once. I bite my lip, concentrating on keeping the pace as her eyes flutter open and her gaze locks with mine. Fire tickles down my spine and I try to stave it off by talking.

“Katniss, fucking take it from me. You know you want it. Your pussy wants it so fucking bad. You can’t lie to me. I can feel it. Feel you squeezing me. Right there?”

She keens wordlessly at the slight shift in angle, and the sounds alone are enough to get me right to the edge. Her hips thrash and I bite my lip hard as she comes all around me, her walls clenching and her juices coating me. She remains rigid above me as she rides it to the end and then her elbows buckle and I grunt as her weight lands squarely on my chest.

Her fingers trace over my shirt and her hot breath paints over my neck, tickling and arousing me further. With a deep sigh, she slides her hands up my arms and fiddles with something. There’s a slight release of pressure and she holds up a carabiner for me to see before tossing it aside. My wrists are still bound, but I’m no longer attached to the bed.

I bring my arms down to trap her to me and shove one foot against the floor to flip us over. Katniss gasps, wrapping her arms and legs around me, clinging to me as I twist my hands enough to get my palms flat on the floor. It’s fucking uncomfortable with her weight pressing down on my wrists and the cuffs, and my arms bent at this angle, but the pain is not as bad as the desire to plunge into her until I come.

She smiles and tilts her head back as I try to move, exposing her throat to me. I lick up the column of smooth skin, tasting the salt of her sweat and the musk that’s all Katniss. When I reach her chin, she rolls her head up and holds my face close to hers, so our noses and foreheads brush and her breaths float warm and inviting over my lips while we stare at one another. Then her heels dig into my ass, and I lose it. I buck like a fucking madman and can’t seem to stop. It’s fast and harsh and all too soon the fire races back through me, leaving my skull buzzing and my body flaming as I shout and slam into her before my body is seized in release, going rigid and still as it rocks through me. The cuffs finally snap as I stop coming and my arms give out.

I barely manage to catch myself before I crush her, my face pressed into the floor as I gasp and blink and try to figure out which way is up. It’s her fingers, tenderly caressing my neck and shoulders that guide me back to reality. Her legs still wrapped around me tightly, holding us together.

When I can breathe normally again, I gather her in my arms and move us onto the bed, discarding the condom and the broken cuffs, and removing my shirt before I join her beneath the covers.

“I still can't believe you went down on me with my whole squad down the hallway.”

I laugh and wrap my arms around her, relieved when she curls into me the way she always does.

“May I remind you that you kissed me, and you're the one who went for my belt first?”

“You may not.”

“I would've stopped if you'd told me to,” I whisper. “I still can't believe you let me go that far with your whole squad down the hallway.”

I grin and trail my fingers over her hair. She yawns and presses a handful of soft kisses to my chest, sending up a wave of fluttering from my middle. When I turn to kiss her cheek, though, she stiffens in my embrace.

“The navy,” she whispers.

“What are you talking about?” I ask and manage to lift my head to look down at her. She’s wide eyed and flushed, her gaze is excited and eager.

“That’s my target. The Navy midshipmen,” she explains. Then she bites her lip and lifts an eyebrow. “Since you kind of owe me, Zoomie, you think you might be willing to spare a few cadets to help out and earn some bragging rights?”

“I might be able to help. We've always talked about turning that gigantic, tacky as fuck brass anchor in their entry way into a clothes line. Put a sign on it that says ‘Salute Your Shorts,’” I tell her and she wriggles with glee.

“I knew there was a reason I put up with you,” she teases and I laugh, just happy that she’s not angry and leaving.

“Anytime you need to loosen an idea from your mind, I’m more than willing to put my body at your service. And I’d like to remind you that we in the Air Force pride ourselves on Service Before Self,” I tease right back and nibble on her neck until she’s squealing in laughter and clawing at my shoulders. I fling the sheets up in the air and crawl beneath them. “It's a dangerous task, but I am completely willing to sacrifice myself to get it done right.”

Her laughter stops when I settle in the cradle of her legs and tilt her hips to taste her again. There will be other obstacles to face in the future. The most glaring one is what we’ll do after graduation. But for now, I just want to focus on helping her regain that respect I cost her. To spend every possible minute with her that she’ll allow me.