#I believe in he/she AM btw. what of it
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GIRL HELOPPPPP THIS WEIRD CAT PUT ME IN THE ENDLESS HURRICANE AGAIN
#I was tired of having no real AM design so I whipped out this freak today#she's so pretty (the she in question:)#((she's gorgeous))#I believe in he/she AM btw. what of it#(definitely not just because I'm sapphic. totally not. I don't know why you'd evenm bring that up its irrelevbant#ihnmaims#am ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#also I hope it's clear idk anything about robotics (despite this being my third consecutive year of taking it)
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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It's unfortunate that religion in Star Trek is so controversial because I think converting to Buddhism would fix Mariner
#lower decks#beckett mariner#star trek#star trek lower decks#I'm not Buddhist I just like assigning religions to characters#Anyways I think Carol is atheist and Alonzo is AME and I think Beckett was raised vaguely Christian#but I think Buddhism is the spiritual path that would actually help her the most#also Boimler is Unitarian. It's just a vibe I get#Ransom doesn't believe in God but he is afraid of him (raised Episcopal btw)#The Orions seem to have some sort of monotheistic mother goddess thing going on? So that's what Tendi's doing if she's at all religious#but tbh I think rejecting Orion religion is probably part of her running away to Starfleet#Rutherford doesn't remember what religion he was raised as because of the implant#and now he has a weird spiritual relationship with the warp core (as does every Starfleet engineer)#T'Lyn is doing that off brand Buddhism thing that Vulcans do
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kazuma constantly using very formal language with the mikotobas but super casual language with ryunosuke is really funny to me because it shows that he doesn’t see them as family despite having lived with them for 10 years. and yeah yujin and susato are formal back but i think its pretty clear that he’s the only one who thinks that like:
kazuma: my foster family.. i can never truly be close with them… they will never accept me as their own.. i am an intruder in their house and i always will be….. curses…
susato: hey big brother i decided gonna become a judicial assistant so i can support you in court! by the way dad said hes cooking your favorite for dinner tonight so dont stay out too late, i love you!
#hes so cringefail is what i am basically saying#firm believer that susato became a judicial assistant for kazuma btw like. yeah she did u cant tell me different#kazuma asogi#the great ace attorney#susato mikotoba#ramblings
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my favorite thing about the arcane season 2 release is how my boyfriend is now once again victim to my endless yapping about viktor.
like at 2am I'll start with "hey, do you think Viktor [insert something absolutely unimportant to any plot]?"
and with a sigh he'll answer "yes, i guess that makes sense." and then i just don't stop ever. i'm going through the roof. i need more, i need the next 3 episodes, i need to inject that shit into my veins.
i'm cautiously hopeful about the changes they made to the character, because i think there's lots of potential, since there's still 6 episodes left and a lot can happen there? allowing myself a non-anon ask as a treat because i'm foaming at the mouth
I have the exact opposite problem because I have absolutely no one to talk about arcane with besides on here so I am just in my cage. in my padded cell. talking to myself in my notes app and making tons of posts of my thoughts that I just keep to my drafts because I don't want to spam the dash. with ten posts at a time. that are all different variants of: "viktor arcane please save me"
#I have one friend I play league with and I talked with him about arcane a bit#but this friend believes I am normal#I cannot. show my demons#he's like 'oh yah it was kinda cool when viktor did this'#I'm like oh yes#totally normal about this character btw#as more time had passed I've exited my super critical stage#now I'm just excited to see him lol#although I will still be really sad if we lose the machine herald entirely...#my theory is still that he's gonna become the machine herald at the very end#it would also be fun if renata showed up#because she has some voice lines talking about how her money is what viktor used to become the machine herald#and she came out after arcane s1 so. surely. won't be retconned#so excited for the next 3 episodes but at the same time I'm so anxious I could curl into a ball and lay there unmoving#for several hours#ask mags
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rolands bad ending is perfect to me i am not kidding when i say its exactly what i would want from anything ever it checks all of my boxes. but the idea of him distorting after killing angela... whether its because he realises killing her didnt help at all or because a part of him is unsure if it was worth it. the realisation of becoming the very thing that killed his wife, killing countless of other people in his own distortion and being apathetic to it... like do you see it do you get where im going
#library of ruina spoilers#library of ruina#roland lor#projmoon#idk what his most popular character tag is. i need 2 find out#i love roland he is my favourite character of all time ANYWAY *puts him in a blender*#i am aware why roland doesnt distort outside the library (other than the obvious) from how i understand it he doesnt have a reason to#distortions seem to be out of a selfish desire and after his goal is finished that man aspires for absolutely nothing#but the irony of it the pain the misery... sip sip sip OUGH. i dont think he'd even enjoy being a distortion either#would u believe me if i said this post was originally gonna talk about a post-pianist but pre-library roland 'meeting' carmen#i still think tht would go crazy btw like angela technically caused the pianist but theres no denying carmen directly created it#and he cant attack her at all bc shes only a voice. and what if he gave into that voice and distorted huh...? anyway#text#roland
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about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)
for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge
#anon PLEASE i am the nosiest person in the world i understand i want to know everything. ever. however#because i have no evidence and don’t want to spread unfounded rumors i will state for the jury i am not a gossip blog#& anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. or a vsco deep dive & also maybe a dig into the flyers media archives. wrt UNfounded#but i will gossip in your dms because it’s a vital method of communication and important for community building.#also i’m like 95% sure i just osmosed the fact that morgan and his girlfriend broke up sometime earlier in the hockey season from someone#else (probably flyerskay) and accepted it at face value like absolutely i’d trust kay with my life. she would never lie to me and therefore#i can’t be lying to you. i can’t remember morgan’s gf’s name tho but i can like. vividly remember her artsy possessive vsco photos 😭 help#that man posts more about tom petty than he does anyone else in his life besides joel so really how would we know if hes posted her less#the answer is we wouldn’t and i want to say her name is katie SO bad but i know that’s tyson’s gf it’s like. victoria or stacie or somethin#& i want to see if SHE deleted all her vsco pictures of him bc that’s how we’d know they broke up. frosty stop following so many girls#i want to try and find her and see (she’s a model and she was public and had her vsco linked so all of this is public info btw.)#ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OANDJRIWNDHOWHDB IT IS 1:38 AM AND I HAVE JUST MANAGED. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ANON HOLD ON#BUCKLE YOURSELF THE FUCK IN FOR AN ANSWER YOU DID NOT ASK FOR BECAUSE THIS IS A R I D E AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT I CAN’T MY GOD I CANNOT#B R E A T H E i’m about to start crying again but the backstory is that. i have had a fic that i have been working on for literal years.#my version history says March 15 2021 and it started in my notes app about 3000 words before that and it’s based off of a tweet i thought#calla had quoted and just said ‘Joel’ about but in my notes i never#saved the actual tweet and many times throughout the years i have gone back and advanced searched every version of joel and joelle and bee#and behavior on calla’s blog that i could possibly think of and just assumed like. it must’ve gotten deleted or the account suspended and i#could never remember the wording well enough to just google it but believe me i tried and put in every variation. never found it in 4 years#i try periodically. fast forward to about twenty minutes ago i am looking through kay’s twitter and searching vsco because i SWEAR she has#the picture of frosty’s gf’s fingernail marks in the back of frosty’s shoulders i am talking about / I can’t find her vsco linked anywhere#but i’m like ok. search up a couple other things and think about who might have it and on a WHIM look up vsco in ash notthequiettype’s acct#no results okay whatever i think about what else could maybe pull it up for me so I have SOMETHING for you. I search frosty. I scroll. GUES#WHAT I FUCKING FIND FROM NOVEMBER 13TH 2020 it is THE FANTASTIC TWEET THAT SPAWNED 16K OF NOTES & FIC & A SPREADSHEET OF JOEL’S CLASSES#AND I NEVER WOULD’VE FOUND IT AGAIN IF NOT FOR THIS!!! LOSING IT!!! by it I mean my mind and my sleep schedule!!! it’s 2AM now good night!!#liv in the replies#morgan frost#philadephia flyers
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I think that if GLaDOS had a human body for whatever reason (insert your own justification here) that she wouldn’t actually look like Caroline
I think she’d look like Cave
#Portal#I am 100% back on my bullshit about her btw#I have switched my little word board from Fionna and Cake to Portal - you know it's bad lol#But I've been thinking about it like - even post Portal 2 where she says she deleted Caroline (but I don't fully believe that)#Or even before that before she remembers and realizes about Mr. Johnson I think there would just be this piece of her waaaay in the recesses#That would just have this vague fuzzy feeling around a more masculine more hard and strong and aggressive - this ''preconceived notion''#That she wouldn't be able to fully attribute to any one thing and it would drive her nuts so she'd just put it out of mind#But if she were to think about it it would all come back to him#I think she'd still have her quirks - like her hair would be just a little bit more feminine but still short with longer sideburns#And she'd have her beauty mark hehehe <3 <3#But her form and figure and fashion would be a lot closer to him than to her#Even the piece of Caroline in her would have admiration for him! Of course he would be something to strive for!#And GLaDOS has her whole deal of being in it for the science - what's the good of a ''pretty'' form?#But that's just a lie he also counts as pretty it's all about perspective lol ♪#I dunno I dunno I still prefer her as objecthead humanoid if I must go that route but if she had a face-
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🌷
#i cant believe i could've almost been his girlfriend!!!!#im sad that he never asked me and never waited ....#because i know me and im dependable and devoted#i go all in if i love#but instead he .. fell in love fast and quick and i get it. i get why he fell for her i really do so i dont blame him#but... they only lasted a month then they broke up#she left. and i get that she and i are different people#but i cannot fathom how you can have HIM and leave him#i cant even imagine my life without him. he is genuinely all i think about#and she left.... !!!!! i cant understand that (from my pov. she is her own person i know)#i just wish he'd stuck it out and given me a chance (bc he did feel those things for me he said that)#i know the heart want what it wants but oh how i wish#i would've been with him until now. i would've never have left him#i wish i wish he didnt do that bc now he's even more heartbroken and i know it'll just be harder for me to maybe prove myself to him#(btw this sounds super selfish but this is only me venting my feelings!!!)#im still here for him. i've never left. i've been so so patient. isnt that worth anything?#most of the time it feels like he doesnt even appreciate me :( at all#i just cannot believe that HE once upon a time wanted ME to be his gf#if things just had gone a bit differently i would've been so lucky to call myself his#and him mine... that's so crazy to me#that's my dream...#i dont wanna give up on him bc i love him sm i cant imagine any other way my life can go#but.... i cant push if he isnt even replying... i cant bother him too much#then im just crazy#and my anxities arent even letting me message him at all#bc even if i asked if it's ok and he said im not bothering him#im convinced i am. i mean it really seems and feels like i am doing that#so i just cannot even message him..... which makes my life so empty i wanna cry#sometimes i wish i'd never met him bc my love for him has ruined my life now that i cant have him
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Gaslighting, my old friend, I'll fall for you every single time <3
#i have known my dad is an alcoholic since i was literally 4 and my mom told me thats the reason she divorced him#ive been to COA support group twice in my life. i have the horrible personal anecdotes. i have the constant anxiety.#and still !!! with the right amount of ridicule in the right setting ill question everything#a spiral of misery and self doubt and paranoia etc etc#for context: im on a vacay with my dad and sis and his childhood friends#and i published a short nonfiction story where i talk about how isolating it can be when your parent is an addict#and EVERYONE is making constant jokes in reference to this text like 'ohhh like the alcoholic i am *wink wink* im gonna have another beer'#several times a day. and ive just not been saying anything abt it bc i feel guilty abt 'exposing' my dad even tho isnt not even a secret#but seeing as my sister is never on my side abt this and that his friends are obviously on his side i feel like the loneliness girl on earth#and tbh there rly isnt any sides to this bc addiction is just a horrible fucking disease for everyone involved#but he makes it into this awful game where i always come out the loser bc im just a kid and i cant make anyone believe me#im not a kid. obviously. but thats what this feels like. like im the little kid with silly stories no one believes#and the worst part is i wrote the text trying to reclaim what has been a lifetime of centering HIM and his addiction into everything i do#trying to protect him and his dignity#and this was my trying to reclaim my life and talk about how IM affected for once#but once again he ends up being the centre of conversation of my text. which. btw is about a lot more than my dad
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My Dad is once again in emerge due to kidney stones and this interaction in the fam chat between him and my mom is absolutely SENDING ME
#i am going to melt away. followed by my mom's FUCKIN SALUTE EMOJI???? WHEEZING#dani speaks#he's fine btw. he is prone to kidney stones#usually when it involves a big life event for me lol#he got one at my uni grad. at my engagement party. bridal shower was an almost. and then. we were all in FEAR for the wedding#needless to say. my sister called to tell me#and i was on the desk so i was like GIRL WHAT#and how she told me was by asking if I had a big announcement to make 🫠🫠🫠#can't believe MY parents just had a blinter coded interaction#THEY ARE THE ANTITHESIS OF BLINTER. FOILS BERHAPS. VERY NOT BLINTER CODED SO I AM SHOOKETH#famnanigans
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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
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hsmtmts you couldve been such a good show..........
#crunchyposts#hsmtmts#genuinely mourning how good it couldve been but they just got hit with so many scheduling conflicts like#covid and actors being unavailable etc etc horrible circumstances and then also just chose to make it bad after that lol#ive genuinely read fic of the show better than season 1 which is my favorite season and is still flawed#rini slowburn throughout the entire show........ we (ie me a rini fan) couldve had it all#ashlyn realizing shes bi without needing to break up with her boyfriend and same for big red but i know what happens in s4#without even seeing it i heard what fucking happened and im pissed#ricky couldve developed better coping skills w/o needing to immediately break him and nini up again#either dont make them get together after s1 or stretch it out for longer so its not so jarring#i wanna rewatch s1 now :(((( and i wanna reread i bet theres other reasons i warm your heart#btw this post is from a rini fan pov but i do realize that with the way ricky was written it wouldve been best if they didnt end up togethe#i just liked them. and like to believe that they couldve worked it out at some point while also helping ricky get better#maybe instead of. immediately in s1 going for nini he works out his issues which gives him confidence to ask her out again pleaseeeeee#also coming at this from a slow burn childhood friends to lovers fan pov so obviously i am biased and its just what i wouldve liked most#not necessarily what would be objectively best for the show
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playing leyla today did nothing but hurt me 🫠
#sequence of events from my play today:#1. the dream guardian appears in the form of leyla's bf. who she hasn't known the fate of since she was yoinked#2. leyla takes this to mean that traven died. she takes her anger out on some goblins.#3. tiefling party time! astarion immediately propositions her. she's sober enough to know what she's agreeing to but tipsy enough to say ye#anything to distract her from realizing she's lost what she thought was her soulmate. or one of them at least#4. they fuck. it's almost good enough to forget traven exists for the night. almost#5. LITERALLY THE NEXT NIGHT the guardian appears again. it's like a twist to the gut. she doesn't know what to believe#the guardian says he's an adventurer like her. that he was infected. leyla has HOPE#but she can't help but feel like there's something wrong. that it's just her mind playing tricks on her.#after all... the others are having similar dreams. certainly this couldn't be traven...#aaaand i closed down immediately after that long rest bc i was emotionally compromised#whoops i accidentally wrote a novel in the tags#forgive me i am Sad#i still intend her to romance gale btw!!#leyla just deals with her emotions. physically. and astarion was down soooo#plus she let him bite her neck so she could be a bit more out of it#leyla needs fantasy therapy tbh#moxie plays bg3
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the gas station attendant social link alternate universe is about the past and the future. it is about accepting you who you were and who you are and who you'll be. accepting every aspect of yourself, intangible and tangible. that maybe you are fractured, broken, fragmented, empty, torn apart, or one thousand different things. but you are there for yourself, whoever that may be. whoever they may be. it is about love and betreyal and kindness and malice and caring and hate. deliberate or accidental. it is about learning and realizing and doing something about it and doing nothing about it. it is about the constant pursuit of knowledge no matter how fun it is no matter how terrifying it is. no matter if it's a genuine drive or something forced unto the self as one is pushed to the ledge. it is about life and death and what is real and what is not. it is about accepting what is there and making the effort to make it different. it is about stagnancy and improvement. it is about being the same and about change. it is about friendships about family about relationships about the inherent love present in all of it. it is about finding yourself in someone and the choice to help the other to help the self. to fill each other's half empty cups and overflow with gratitude or spill out and become an emptiness so unbearable that the irony of a rush of tears come flooding out somehow. it is about potential and the need to pursue it and find it and accomplish it and grow and grow and grow and learn and learn and learn and live and live and live no matter what anyone says. no matter what you say. it is about god. it is about human. it is about the bond with the one god once called its puppet but lives in the role itself no longer can be called an actor. because of love. because of love.
#kommento#sulululat#gsa sl au#// it was my love btw#// thinking that this silly thing is too 'far gone' but it's a fruit tree of so many personal spiels that maybe deep down I brought this#// to the table because I wanted to have people learn about myself? through something we can both love#// but that's just the thing it's become too personal that no one can relate to it and if anyone does it wrong I bite their face off#// I don't know. regressing back into my little bubble and thinking of other problems. being here is a journey and it's still going#// that there's still so much I can do but I'm reaching a tipping point and I can do everything now or drop it all#// like game dev crunch time. spend four years on it and a 1 and a half year chunk to prep for the live demo at the press conference#// and if you flop or show up with nothing the whole project would just be dropped. and there is nothing left#// all that passion and love and effort is washed away#// I don't even know what I'm aiming for. I just wanted a community. and I do have one but am I not satisfied?#// is there a certain sense of community itself that I want? now I'm selfish and picky? I am not sure#// I should make a relationship chart actually. with bubbles and lines and captions and labels or something. peek into my brain diagrams#// three year anniversary coming up soon... but who knows if I'll still be kicking in six more months. it's a surprise 🎉#// gsaslau is about god who is not human and a human who does not believe he is human. and somehow they make each other more human#// it is about a child meant to be the avatar of hope falling to his knees having to accept the truth about the people he trusts#// it is about a girl desperately wanting to save everyone and would offer her life to do so. but she wants to live with everyone else#// without another giving up their own life instead#// it is about a man who rises from despair and becomes the beacon of hope he never thought he could be#// it is about a man who wouldnt believe the emptiness in his heart stings. that he could never lose somethng because he never had anything#// it is about someone who relearns who they were and creates who they're going to be. fighting all the urges to destroy such a creation
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