#I am not very good at backgrounds tragically

[professorspork]

Wicked 1/23/25, National Tour @ Hollywood Pantages in Los Angeles

HELLO FRIENDS.

I have just seen Wicked LIVE AND IN PERSON for the first time since *checks notes* holy shit six years exactly to the day, I saw Jackie Burns and Kara Lindsay on 1/23/19 in this very same theater

that's wild

anyway i was very disappointed in past me's note-taking so today i wrote down EVERYTHING

but also i didn't remember to pack my notepad like i thought i did so i ended up scribbling wildly on my hand, and then my arm, and then my ankle like i was possessed by some eldritch horror

no, i can't read a word of that either

anyway COME ON THIS JOURNEY WITH ME, SHALL WE?

ngl a massive reason I bought this ticket was to see openly queer Mullet Glinda herself, Austen Danielle Bohmer, so I happily took a photo of the company listing when I walked in:

...only to then be very put out when I opened up my Playbill and saw that in fact I was scheduled to see the second understudy, Allsun O'Malley:

I asked an usher if he knew who would be Glinda and he was like "I'm pretty sure the board out front is correct?" so I had to wait in feverish anticipation to know for sure

In the meantime I saw this note:

...which made me hope I might get to hear the audible electric guitar music variants in Dancing Through Life etc that the LA production used to do in the Eden and Megan days but alas, it did not happen

seeing Austen also did not happen, and I could tell IMMEDIATELY because when the bubble floated in there was a visible like EIGHT INCHES OF CLEARANCE between the top of Glinda's head and the bubble and i was like "well that ain't Tall Glinda"

(Allsun is very aware that she is a short queen, bless)

here's the thing about Allsun O'Malley: she has a DISTINCTIVELY naturally low speaking voice and she doesn't do a thing to hide it as Glinda. Helen was pondering aloud the other day if Every Glinda Does A Voice and I had speculated that yeah, probably, bc if they're not doing Billie Burke they're doing Cheno and if they're not doing Cheno they're doing The Concept Of Glinda and like. nah. she'd sing the operatic high notes and then talk with this brassy alto and it was SO distinctive and interesting. (this is also a surprise tool that will help us later)

i cannot explain why I feel this so strongly, but the closest analog I can come up with to the energy and presence of Allsun's Glinda is like. Nate Stevenson???? the comparison came to me IMMEDIATELY and I could not articulate just what it is if you paid me but i felt it in my bones

okay thoughts scene by scene that's how we'll do this

NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED

I really liked how my Frex, Wayne Schroder, did "I'm off to the assembly, dear." It was like. Actually distracted and off the cuff like real married couples speak and not Hello I Am Union And Delivering My First Big Line and i appreciated that

Glinda got SO close to memory!Boq and almost touched his face, which moved me. Allsun's "it was a long time ago, and we were both very young" was satisfyingly near-tears

DEAR OLD SHIZ

tonight's Boq, Alex Vinh, had a ponytail! spoiler alert his Tinman did not have a silver tinsel ponytail which was a great disappointment

ROOM ASSIGNMENTS

Lauren Samuels is ALSO A SHORT QUEEN pocket sized gelphie made me feral. Lauren's portrayal of Elphie kind of faded into the background at times because Allsun and later Xavier McKinnon (😍🥵 MORE ON HIM IN A MINUTE) were both so charismatic but I did enjoy it very much

her "I'm beautifully tragic" was fuckin great, really leaned into the humor

when Galinda introduced herself as "Galinda Upland... of the Upper Uplands" she held out her hand like she expected Morrible to kiss it

Morrible did not kiss it

speaking of Morrible, Aymee Garcia has a SHOCKINGLY good voice and after seeing so many bootleg Morribles who don't bother to sing at all getting such a strong and lovely singer was a wonderful jolt to the system

Galinda didn't do a full trust fall faint at "something's wrong, I didn't get my way" (totally fair, not something I think is reasonable to expect from a second u/s) but Allsun still linked elbows with her friends, which is notable only because she did it later in the exact same way after Dillamond booted everyone from class like "Animals Should Be Seen And Not Heard" had also affected her (or admittedly possibly like she was worried she'd be blamed for it)

THE WIZARD AND I

Lauren did the thing where when Elphie says "when we work hand in hand" she holds up her best friend Suitcase by the handle and this is a Little Elphie Thing I always love

WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

rather disappointingly, this is one of the moments I honestly don't have big feelings about, which is telling. Allsun's G(a)linda is very obsessed with Elphie but enduringly, tragically straight about it and it was obvious to me as early as here I would not be Getting Everything I Wanted

HOWEVER

she did a full on Tevye-style shoulder shimmy for that last moment when Galinda's dancing and Elphie hip-checks her and it was very good

HISTORY CLASS/SOMETHING BAD

Kingsley Leggs did not get touchy with his students and did do the air quotes for "scapegoat" so perfect Dillamond no notes

I'm also not sure of most Dillamonds do this and it's not in the shot re: boots, but he explicitly shushed Elphaba before she could tell Morrible what happened from behind Morrible's back which I liked v much

DANCING THROUGH LIFE

Xavier's Fiyero is dreamy as fuck and can dance so well and can sing so pretty and i am SO VERY ENAMORED

srsly cannot overstate how fabulous he was, even though he's obviously a fiyeraba truther and not a thropple guy more on that later tho

bc i know my wife will ask, yes Allsun did the pokey stab at "sharp, doncha think" but did not do it hard enough for the hat to actually make contact w Lauren's stomach

Allsun was so short you could barely tell Xavier was dipping her lmaooooo

for the first time i noticed a sad wallflower dancer girl who's by herself near the stairs for most of the Ozdust portion and i want to know what her deal is

Allsun HUGGED Morrible at "how can I express my gratitution?" and lmao Morrible did not care for it one bit

Xavier did the cutest little shoulder nudge at "then what's the matter?" and at hearing "nothing" transformed into The Most Suave Man In The World for "good, let's dance" as like a SEDUCTION line it was great

Lauren's solo dance ruled, peak intense cringe

VERY striking to me that when Galinda first approaches Elphie, the crowd goes "yaaaaas!" like they think she's going to get off a really good zinger. they then LAUGH at "can I cut in?" as though that in itself is the insult they were waiting for. in the boots I've seen I've mostly taken this for audience laughter at that line, but tonight it was VERY clear it was from the ensemble

SECRETS/POPULAR

Allsun started the scene fully belly-flopped on the bed and remained laying down for "Your very first party?" which is the first time I've seen that

Lauren's English accent made its only appearance during the milkflowers monologue when she let out a "mum"

After the popular/LAR moment when Galinda has to dance cross the stage and then return to the bed, Allsun chose to do so by doing a lasso motion and pulling herself back to Elphie which charmed me utterly

Allsun did a full fucking split at "very very popular like me" it was damn impressive

I hope there's an Allsun boot someday her toss toss pose also involves particular foot placement and she MADE Lauren stand up and copy her

Lauren also fully tossed her hair entirely into her face so hard she had to pick it out of her mouth, I'm p sure she must do this every night it ruled

however this Popular still sealed Allsun's fate as Very Straight, the vibes were just. not there alas.

LION CUB

SINCE WHEN IS THERE WIRE WORK WHERE ELPHIE FLOATS TWO OF THE STUDENTS??? WHEN DID THEY MAKE THIS CHANGE??!?!?! i was astonished lmao

Lauren and Xavier really made a meal of "you think i'm really stupid don't you?" "no! not... really stupid" and I knew then for sure this was a Fiyeraba Truther cast

I'M NOT THAT GIRL

another "SINCE WHEN?" moment: the tour cheaped out on getting a bridge the cast could actually walk on, so the bridge is a flat set piece and then in the interlude Galinda and Fiyero actually just run onto the stage to dance in the rain and there's a spinning hug and it is DEVASTATINGLY EFFECTIVE at showing the two of them actually enjoying dating with Elphie on the outside looking in, I loved it, it should be like this everywhere

TRAIN SCENE

they modified the blocking so that rather than drag elphie back after she tries to run after Nessa, Allsun just body blocks Elphie completely from chasing by holding out an arm which I loved

Fiyeraba trutherism cont'd, Xavier *sprinted* past Allsun to give Elphie her flowers before having to cross all the way back for her. she then grabbed the flowers to offer them ALONGSIDE him at "we're both so happy for you" which charmed me but again, it read competitive not compersive

I can't explain how but Allsun delivered "I've always wanted to see the Emerald City" in this sweetly vulnerable way, like it was something she'd mentioned to Elphie before and she was touched Elphaba remembered

ONE SHORT DAY

Ever since Helen told me she heard an audio boot where Lindsay Mendez read the line "finally somewhere I belong" instead of "i belong" and I've wanted one ever since and Lauren delivered

in the long pause after "two BEST friends" it was Lauren who broke and reached first. this was repeated later in "I hope you're happy, now that you're choosing this" which is striking to me because I was/am going to make a punctum about how Annaleigh Ashford always did it the exact opposite, where she reached first and let her Elphies choose to take her hand

AUDIENCE WITH OZ

when Elphie was bowing during "I'm Elphaba Thropp your terribleness" Glinda was coaching her through doing it from the sidelines like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls

Blake Hammond's first two credits in his bio are Edna in Hairspray and Pumbaa in Lion King, and he plays the Wizard exactly how you would expect knowing these two things

A SENTIMENTAL MAN

yes Helen he did do "son or daughter" like Glinda was his son, as god intended

LEVITATION SPELL

Lauren was d e v a s t a t e d after "you have no real power," she wasn't even listening to "exactly, and that's why i need you" she was fully head down hair covering her face CRYING crying

DEFYING GRAVITY

Allsun's "STOP" was authoritative rather than soul-rending, but then she knelt down NEXT to Lauren and HUGGED HER AROUND THE SHOULDERS for "maybe you're not as powerful as you think you are"

Lauren delivered "come with me; think of what we could do... together" near tears and i loved it

this was the biggest moment Allsun's second understudy status shined through, for a second there she couldn't get the cape clasp closed and it was an UNCOMFORTABLY long fermata for the orchestra giving her the room to do it before transitioning into the Elphie gets to her feet drum roll

again, not sure if this was a Them Thing or if this always happens and I never noticed because boots are in closeup and I wasn't looking for it before, but at "and if I'm flying solo" Lauren did a full on goodbye wave to Allsun as like a farewell of forgiveness and understanding and Allsun reach-waved back

growl at the beginning of ~battlecry, ty Lauren for my life

INTERMISSION

it was my intention to spend my intermission beginning the draft of this post and frantically try and decipher the mad scribblings i'd made up my arms, but i instead spent most of it talking to the woman next to me, a gregarious mom who'd brought her two girls

she told me she'd only just seen the movie and then DIDN'T GO ON THE INTERNET bc she DIDN'T WANT SPOILERS FOR ACT TWO

!!!!

reader i loved her this woman made my night

she was so into everything and when I told her about how often I'd seen the show she asked me so many questions about what changed over time and was so impressed by what they managed to do on stage

also one of her daughters was like "mom, elphaba's FUNNY!" in surprised delight and uh yeah that is my greatest criticism of Cynthia's portrayal and the fact that these random normies could tell was. a lot. to me.

it was only at this moment that it dawned to me how FULL this audience was of kids and parents in this exact same position, people who legitimately did not know what was coming in act 2

the following are the moments that earned OUT LOUD GASPS from the WHOLE AUDIENCE due to this fact:

Tin Man reveal

Dillamond under the blanket reveal

"use her sister"

"things that don't belong to us" up through the slaps, gasps on EACH ESCALATING LINE/MOMENT

Fiyero turning the gun on Glinda

"she was yours all along" THEY. DID NOT. SEE. THIS. COMING.

anyway

THANK GOODNESS

pitch-perfect "not how you described it to me"/"not exactly but we'll talk about it later"

because, again, the bridge was not something the ensemble could stand on, everyone was just crowded around the platform for this, which made it feel (purposefully and effectively) claustrophobic. despite being an obvious Fiyeraba truther Xavier is so GALLANT to Glinda in this scene, because like-- when Morrible gets the crowd all riled up and they start choking in, he made this protective motion like he thought they were gonna grab at Glinda and he was keeping her safe

then after stalking off, he trotted back to give Glinda a chivalrous hand down from the platform like it was just pure instinct

SINCE WHEN DOES POPULAR MOTIF PLAY UNDER THE GLINDA AND FIYERO TALK???!?

however the fact that I have more to say about Xavier's choices in this scene than I do Allsun says all you need to know i think

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Erica Ito hadn't made much of an impression on me in act 1 but she ATE in this scene. nessa was fierce as fuck and actually scared me at "lost your heart?"

also before that she did the thing Michelle Federer used to do and looked all paranoid over her shoulder after "i'm an unelected official" like people could be listening and i've missed it

Lauren did EXCELLENT reaching as Allsun and Xavier left the stage in the scene transition into Wonderful

WONDERFUL / FREEING THE MONKEYS / REUNION

sorry Mr. Hammond i have nothing more to say abt your Wizard

Allsun got big laughs on her pained, awkward-trying-to-be-chipper delivery of "we all went to school together"

the fiyeraba trutherism comes home to roost, i have never seen any fiyero burst out "i'm going with her" so fucking fast

his callousness there was balanced by how kindly he pulled off the "well it was -- but it wasn't" to both

still, he was fully out the room and expected elphie to just follow him after his exit bc he didn't grab her hand, so he had to COME BACK FOR HER and DRAG her away bc she wouldn't stop making eye contact w Glinda

Morrible did a full on evil laugh after "change in the weather"

AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE

exactly as horny as you'd expect given everything else i've said so far but Lauren REALLY gave it her all on that front

the mom next to me literally said "spicy!" under her breath after "for the first time i feel wicked"

lauren was THIRSTY going in for that parting kiss after the Kiamo Ko invite

CATFIGHT

this is where it all fell apart a little, because Allsun being 2nd u/s just didn't have the chemistry there to pull off all the transitions

she also couldn't quite manage the wand twirl which was a bummer

i think this became a more common move for Glindas in the late 2010s but she went in to touch foreheads w Fiyero after "he loves her" and it killed me

NO GOOD DEED

not nearly feral enough for my tastes sry Lauren.

i will say a lot of this was not her fault, current tour choreo for stages without the trapdoor entrance demands she just HOLD the grimmerie for half the scene before awkwardly handing it off to Chistery and it is very distracting

MARCH OF THE WITCH HUNTERS

noose lady was VERY front and center my goodness

again bc tour Glinda and Boq had to enter via platforms being wheeled on instead of having the built-ins, and for the first time i noticed Glinda's is her Thank Goodness platform. that made me froth at the mouth.

aymee was PERFECT at "you've wanted this from the beginning and now you're getting what you wanted" but kind of undersold "so just smile and wave and shut up" tbh

FOR GOOD

helen has been keeping a timer of how long it takes gelphie to touch after the song starts in earnest at "i've heard it said" and tonight was zero seconds Allsun started out already gripping Lauren's shoulder

and here is where Allsun's deep speaking voice comes in, because it has this thing where instead of Glinda taking the lower harmony feeling like she's changed it feels like she's finally being honest/herself for the first time musically

FINALE

somehow DJ Smart managed to make "M-Miss? Miss Glinda...." sound not only like Chistery struggling to speak but like CHISTERY HAD A LUMP IN HIS THROAT BC HE THINKS ELPHIE IS DEAD TOO

NOT TELLING GLINDA AND FIYERO IS ONE THING BUT ELPHABA HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL CHISTERY

speaking of, Xavier passed on the Chain Of Forehead Touch from Allsun to Lauren at "no one can ever know" he was SO SAD and i prefer that so much to Fiyeros who are strident or chiding

SERIOUSLY ELPHABA YOU DIDN'T TELL CHISTERY YOU'RE ALIVE? GIRL.

anyway at curtain call Lauren made sure to do Big Gesture at Allsun bc she gets to do this So Rarely and i had an emotion

AND THAT WAS MY NIGHT oops this took me two hours to write and i still have work in the morning

oh well, worth it

[riseandfallofsecunit]

It would have been more funny if I hadn’t been leaking all over the deck.

[springcatalyst]

thinking oc thoughts. everything comes back to milo being a storyteller

[starlightseraph]

finished dead boy detectives!!! (spoilers ahead!)

quick disclaimer: i haven’t gotten around to the comics yet but i’ve been very interested since the sandman came out and i do plan on reading them eventually lol.

- edwin is my new blorbo cutie and i too would go to hell for him. also, his style is immaculate, exactly how i want to dress all the time.

- i am SO sad about niko. but i’m glad that it seems like she’s not totally gone? i hope she’s not an antagonist in the next series (the ending was a touch ominous), but i’ll honestly be happy either way. it’s so rare to find good western-japanese characters. it made me incredibly happy when she switched into a japanese accent when saying “osaka” because it’s something i recognise in my family and in me. i know people from lots of different backgrounds do that with words from their own languages, but i’d never seen a japanese character do it before so i was very tickled.

- charles. man. please fall in love with edwin. how tf are you quite literally dragging him out of hell and he confesses to you and you look him in the eyes and say that you love him but you’re not in love with him. i mean that’s the best possible way he could’ve gone about it, but if i were edwin i might just have gone back down to the doll face spider thing.

- i hope that crystal’s past doesn’t land her in jail or anything. i really like her dynamic with the others but i’m not sold on her and charles romantically, mostly because edwin is so fucking sweet and i don’t want his heart to be broken. he’ll be happy if charles is happy, but i cannot stand see him get hurt even the tiniest bit.

- jenny is amazing. she’s literally me fr. also i love how she just hands people cleavers.

- i found the night nurse’s breakdown when she was in angie’s stomach very relatable. i feel like that a lot lmao. and i love her accent. i will go to bat for my own weird ass culchie irish/valley girl hybrid, but if had to pick another accent…

- i need a wise and eternal south asian man to talk me down from the ledge. it’s almost finals week and a ring from kashina would be a big help.

- tragic mick (top tier wordplay name) is a sweetheart and i hope he gets to be a walrus again eventually. my first reaction when i saw the cat king was “oh my god, it’s the piss kink guy from You!” but that aside, he was ok in the end. so was monty. i hope the night nurse can help crystal drag david the demon back down to hell.

[amarynthian-chronicles]

Treacherous trickery

Sun, smiling sinisterly as he placed his cards on the table: your poker skills are abysmally bad, comet. Tragic beyond description. Why did you insist on this particular game? Nothing good ever comes out of teasing monsters.

Y/N, blinking innocently: Oh, I actually completely agree with you. I don't even know how to play. The patterns and the art on the cards are very pretty, though.

Moon, tilting his head, sadistic joy in his crimson eyes: You are not bothered with loss? At this rate you will be indebted to us for all eternity, you have nothing to pay us back with. Perhaps an alternative? We gladly accept kisses instead of cash. And you owe us quite a lot right now.

Y/N, absentmindedly building a little house of cards: Perhaps I did have some ulterior motives. I was feeling a bit lonely and you two are always so busy. Let's play a final bet. If this little card structure collapses, then I fully admit defeat and am all yours. Deal?

Sun, blue gaze turning white, eager and wicked: My, it truly is a pleasure doing business with you.

Moon, leaning closer, resisting the urge to shake the table: We accept this dangerous little arrangement of yours, starlight.

Y/N: Eyes on me, boys, I need all of your attention. Don't let anything distract you. I may cheat if you dare to look away from my hands and the cards. There we go. Good boys.

Eclipse, sneakily carrying entire bags of jewels and cash in the background, holding a thumbs up at Y/N to indicate he had taken everything from the safe, just as they had instructed. Y/N merely smiles in approval.

[guiltycorp]

Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | teen | 2.3k | tags: rockstar!eddie, addiction, rehab, journaling, only Eddie's entries turn into letters to Steve | Part 2 to Carry You | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost by @yournowheregirl | AO3)

Edited for a big shout out to @steves-strapcollection whose lovely OC has a little cameo here. If you want to know who Tig is, you can find out here. Spoiler: he's amazing and we love him.

Day 0

Dear Steve,

Hi Stevie,

Apparently, it's not good to "bottle up" your feelings. They say it makes drinking or drugs or any other addiction so tempting. It makes it easier to keep all that stuff inside you and let it fester until you need more and more of whatever it is that helps you cope. So the first rule of rehab: Talk, don't take.

That's a long way of saying I need to keep a journal like a 13-year-old girl with her first crush. It's either that or a daily crying session with the other "inmates" here, and I'd rather not have to tell Terry the old gossip my own tragic sob story. She already told me the life stories of two other patients here at dinner.

Instead, I decided to write to you. You're the one person I regret the most pushing away, and even though you'll probably never see this, it feels good to tell you these things now. Like a dry run. Because, baby, when I get out of here, I swear I will let you in. I won't make the same mistakes.

You will never go another day without knowing how much you mean to me.

How much I love you.

You only left an hour ago and I already miss you. I can't believe I've survived six months without you. Well, I barely did. I wish I could call you, but phone privileges are only for those who make it through their first week here.

I know we chose this center together knowing that they don't allow visitors for at least three weeks. Maybe longer if my therapist says I'm not ready. Fuck, three weeks didn't sound so bad when we talked about it, but now? In this ugly, impersonal room that smells clean but is totally clinical. You know, that mix of disinfectant and sterile air with a hint of medication lingering in the background. It sounds like an eternity and then some.

Nothing here feels comfortable or warm, and I miss your face so much it physically hurts.

But I promised myself I'd do whatever it took. For you and Wayne, for the boys and the kids.

So, day 0, the journey begins.

Fuck, I almost forgot: I'm supposed to answer three questions every day.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

See above. I miss you, that's how I am. I want this to be over. I hate that I'm here and even more that I'm the one who got me here. I feel like a fuckup. It's hard not to when I see how I've ruined everything good in my life. But then I remember the way you kissed me goodbye. The smile on your face when you told me how proud you were of me. The way you kissed my hand because you couldn't let go and whispered, "I'll see you soon," and I want to have hope.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Get through the day without doing anything I'll regret.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

You. That you didn't give up on me. (And the Gummi Bears you hid at the bottom of the bag, you minx. Thank you.)

Day 4

Sweetheart,

I'm not doing so well. It's hard. Who am I kidding? It sucks. My body hurts from how much I want to use. My brain is so very loud, Stevie. So, so loud. I try to remember how you managed to calm me down when my brain got like this. What helped the most was to wear me out by fucking me senseless, but that's not an option. But maybe I will try to go for a walk or even do some of those exercises you always tried to get me to do. The ones that usually led to fucking because I could never behave.

My therapist is nice. Her name is Laura, and so far she's taking everything I throw at her in stride. Talking to her feels like pulling my own teeth and I feel like shit afterwards, but I sleep better. Who would have thought, huh?

I miss you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Not good. I wonder if I can really do this. It doesn't feel like it right now. I'm afraid I won't make it. That I will screw up again. That if I do, it'll kill me and I'll be grateful because I couldn't live with myself if I did.

I don't want to die, Stevie.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Talk to the weird kid who always sits by himself during meals. He looks lost. Maybe he knows DnD.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Still you. Every day. Wayne, for taking me in when I felt like a failure too. Unlovable. Worthless. He never stopped believing in me. Even when I gave him every reason not to. I don't know how I deserve him or you, but I am so fucking grateful.

Day 7

Fuck, I missed your voice. God. I'm sorry I lost it like that. I didn't want the first thing you heard from me after a week apart to be me ugly sobbing into the phone.

I wanted to tell you so many things. I had a plan, you know? But hearing your voice when you said, "Hi, baby," it just broke me. You sounded like you missed me too, like you were relieved to hear my voice too, and you didn't even realize how scared I was that you wouldn't.

We just hung up, but I want to call you again. Just to hear you breathing on the other side so I know you're still there. Waiting for me. Your hand still gripping mine so I wouldn't get lost.

You said, "I'll hear you tomorrow," like it was set in stone, no doubt about it. It made me feel, fuck, I don't even know. Like this is real. I didn't die on that bathroom floor, and you giving me another chance isn't some kind of hallucination or afterlife dream.

I'm rambling, sorry. Even in writing I can't help it.

One day I'll write it all down in a way that makes sense, I promise.

I love how patient you are with me. No one has ever been. I was always too loud, too distracted, too weird, too complicated, too much. But not to you.

I wish you were here to take me in your arms, it's hard not to fall apart without you holding me together.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Better. Fucking determined to get through this and get back to you. Still scared.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Have a real conversation with you without breaking down on the phone. Here's to hoping. Detoxing and being sober has given me a hair trigger on my emotions, it seems.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your patience. Your grace. Your voice in my ear. That you still haven't given up on me. DnD, for giving me a purpose when I needed one, a tool to give others the help I so desperately wanted. The weird kid's name is Alex, and he does know DnD. We'll try to find more people for a campaign.

Day 16

Steve, baby,

I am so fucking sorry. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I'm such an asshole. Please pick up the phone. I need to tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean it, I was just scared. When you said that maybe Laura was right and you shouldn't come to see me next week if I wasn't ready, I thought you didn't want me anymore. That you finally got tired of holding my hand and watching me do those damn baby steps. It's been over two weeks, why am I not better? Why am I not done with this shit?

I want to be done, I swear.

Please don't leave me.

Please pick up the phone.

Please, please, please.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck this shit, what good is it if I keep hurting you?

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Stop being a fucking asshole.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

I want it to be you, but I'm not sure I even have you in my life anymore.

Day 23

Stevie,

I'm scared. Isn't this the stupidest thing you've ever heard? A few days ago I begged to see you. Fuck, I was so desperate to see you that I almost ruined everything. I'm still sorry, I hope you know that. I know, I know, you said that it's okay and that it can't be all smooth sailing, that you forgive me. That you'll keep forgiving me as long as I keep coming back to talk to you, to explain, to show you that I mean it.

And now I've got the all clear for you to come and see me, and I'm too scared to tell you.

I'm still not the man I want to be. The man who deserves someone like you.

Laura told me that love isn't something you deserve, it's something freely given. We don't decide if someone can love us, only they do. And that I have to stop pushing people away because I'm convinced they can't love me. It's their choice and I shouldn't try to take it away from them.

I think about this a lot.

I want to let you love me, I do. It's just hard for me to understand why you would want to do that at all. It's something Laura wants to work on with me as well.

There is so much work to do. I hate to bother you with it. To make it your problem. I wanted to come in here and two weeks later walk out a new man. A better one. One you can love easily and who can love you back in a way you can understand. A man Wayne can be proud to call his son. A man Gareth and Jeff and Grant want to have as a friend, as a bandmate. A man the kids can look up to as much as they look up to you.

Laura said I should take the hand you are holding out to me. It's a decision I make every day. I took it in the hospital. I took it when you drove me here.

I should take it by letting you in, letting you see the work in progress that I am right now.

I think I will call you after dinner to tell you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck if I know. It's a lot to feel when you've numbed your feelings for so long. I remember why I did it, but I won't do it again, I'll learn to deal with it.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Take you in my arms and hold you. Let myself be held by you.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your hand in mine. The thought of you that keeps me going. Your bravery. Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas. They call me all the time, you know. Asking me about my first campaign here, telling me about their lives. Keeping in touch, even though I failed them almost as much as my old man did me.

Day 31

Steve, my love,

You're on your way to pick me up and I can't believe we made it here. It's not done, it probably never will be. I know that now. I have to keep working on myself and being well. But it's so fucking worth it, Stevie.

I'm glad that Laura agreed to stay my therapist even if I leave the center. I trust her. She gets me, she knows when to push me and tell me the ugly truth, and when I need time to process things.

I haven't told you yet, but I'm not going back to Corroded Coffin. At least not right now. I talked to the guys and they all agreed that it's best if I take some time for myself. And for you. For my family and friends. They actually have a guy named Tig who auditioned while I was here and they like him. He's good, they sent me a demo. They asked me if it would be okay and I said it would be. It's true, even though it hurts. I have to do this for myself.

Because I am going to give this to you later, I want to tell you something here before I lose my courage.

Steve. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I haven't always shown you the way you deserve. Hell, some days I certainly didn't act like it. My worst days. But I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will.

But I also learned to like myself a little better here. I no longer want to punish myself for things that were out of my control, like my mom dying or my dad not caring enough for me to stay. I want to be loved. I want you to love me. I want to let you.

I want to finally leave the past behind and allow myself to think about the future. And whenever I do, you're in it. You're the anchor, the epicenter of all my plans.

Stevie, sweetheart, I want to marry you.

Don't worry, I'm not proposing. This is just something I needed to tell you. Someday I want to be your husband, if you want me.

You are my past, my present and my future.

This is me taking your hand every day until I die or you stop reaching for me.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

So fucking excited to have you all to myself again. Seriously, I'm going a little crazy. I'm also hopeful about the future. And in love. I'm so fucking in love with you.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

To start our life together without forgetting what came before.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

My second chance.

[starry-bi-sky]

Just so you know, I've reread your answer to my ask about how you'd rewrite "Double Cross My Heart" in your Danyal Al Ghul au several times over. And I'll just say, your whole breakdown and revision of that trainwreck of a Sam centered episode is the very reason why when it comes to the phandom, both alone and in dpxdc crossovers I tend to lean more towards fanon Sam instead of canon.

Because the people that like her yet acknowledge her glaring flaws do a far better job of bringing her to task when she's being unreasonable or hypocritical in a way that's fair than the supposedly professional storyboard writers.

Anyway, you mentioned that you don't like amethyst ocean and prefer gray ghost. Same here. (though I also like pink astronaut) Since then, I can't stop imagining Danyal/Danny with the "Damian experiencing his first crush" headcanon applied to him. The idea of him treating Valerie with suspicion under the assumption she somehow poisoned or hit him with some kind of hidden anti ghost tech that affects both his human and ghost side, when in reality it's simply him developing feelings for her is just absolute hilarity. To me if no one else.

FIRST OFF YOU ARE SO SWEET <33 the fact that you've read my post about Double Cross My Heart SEVERAL TIMES means I'm now morally obligated to die for you. I'll admit! I was a bit harsh on Sam a little in my original response, because I was irritated by some depictions of her in fanon painting her as someone who could do no wrong and had the only braincell in the group. So I was kinda picking on her a little bit. Would I change a thing? No, I love her character, I just love dissecting her flaws even more.

AND ALSO YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DANYAL THING. That's so cute and so funny, effective immediately it is now canon🧑‍⚖️ . He fought Red Huntress earlier that day and she got a lucky good hit on him, and it's literally that one Marina reaction image where the first panel she looks shocked, the next she looks into it. At least part of it. That's literally what happened, and the next time Danny runs into Valerie at school his heart flutters.

Danny puts up this whole conspiracy board because Valerie smiled at him and his heart went all flippy-floppy and what is this FEELING. He shows it to Sam and Tucker and they both are doing that hands folded prayer-style pressed against their mouths in concern thing, and they don't know whether they should laugh or cry.

Because on one hand: oh my GOD, Danny. But on the OTHER: on my god, Danny. He's never gonna live this one down but that's because if they don't tease him about it, they're gonna get all mopey and sad about it. Just another reminder of their best friend's tragic, mysterious background.

aaa. There are some headcanons I wanna go over (like how when they go on a date, Danny and Valerie have this cute heart to heart where Danny admits that he's not used to being open with people, but he wants to try to be with Valerie because she makes him really happy. He's so shy and almost flustered, and Valerie is so charmed by this side of Danyal Fenton that she's not used to.) but I REALLY wanna think about this in terms of episodic because it was super fun doing it last time, and I really enjoyed it.

If you remember (and you prolly do since you mentioned you read the last ask you sent me several times) I said in the Gregory post that I deleted a (frankly good chunk) of writing that included how i would change the Valerie episodes leading up to the Gregory one, but I deleted it because it was kinda irrelevant to the ask, and admittedly I was getting myself all twisted in knots about it.

But I kinda wanna do that now.

So. If you don't mind I am. Gonna do that. And luckily for me! I found the website I can do. that for free, and have it pulled up! It's the same one I used for the last post to chart out the gregory episode.

So, Shades of Gray! I lowkey want this episode to be like, subtly hinting at the idea that Valerie might develop a crush on Danny first. But ultimately it gets the two of them properly introduced and established with each other, and Red Huntress going.

The episode starts out with Danny being chased by Dash because he got a bad grade in a spelling, obviously if he tried that with Danyal he's gonna get his shit wiped. So! Change! It's Danny heading to his next class, he's texting Sam and Tucker, expertly maneuvering around people in a combination of teen-texting-habit and assassin training awareness. Kinda aware of what's around him, but also not and just trusting instinct.

We meet Valerie when she's showing off a (frankly unflattering) purple polo shirt that costs, AND I QUOTE: "$579, and worth every one of my dad's pennies." to Paulina and Kwan. Girl, this shirt is a few shades off from that NEON "error, image not found" magenta. It looks incredibly unflattering on her considering it's neon-y-ness and the orange skirt and headband she's wearing. Sweetheart, get your damn money back, or at least pick a different pair of pants.

I'm telling you this because I can't resist changing the design. So instead of. that.

She is INSTEAD wearing like, this cute, ruffled, soft pastel purple crop top and some cute jean shorts. Her hair is in like, passion twist braids with little gold cuffs in them. She looks SO cute guys, so cute.

Of course maybe they made it look ugly on purpose because in the show she gets coffee dumped on her 30 seconds later from Danny crashing into Paulina while running from Dash.

I've thought of three different ways this could go, and can't pick which so I'm just gonna write them out and see which one I'm drawn to more.

Kwan, Paulina, and Valerie are standing in the hallway. Not next to a corner but close to one. Danny turns the corner, does not run into them. He briefly looks up from his phone when he hears, they kinda stare at each other, and Danny idly, disinterestedly looks at Valeria, then compliments her with a single; "Nice shirt." Pretty anticlimatic ngl, but it startles the trio a little bit because Danny doesn't often talk to other people outside his circle unless he's in some kind of group project or has to. So for him to compliment Valerie unprompted is startling. This could or could not end with one of them snarkily saying "thanks its worth more than your entire wardrobe" which Danny would take offense to because, lets not kid ourselves, Danyal and Damian Al Ghul were raised as pseudo-princes in the League. Without missing a beat he shoots back: "at least i have a personality beyond being rich." and then disappears down the hallway.

The trio begin walking down the hallway, crash into Danny. HE gets coffee splattered all over him and he immediately reels back, instinctively reverting back to his mother tongue and hissing out arabian curses as coffee drips down the front of his red hoodie and shirt. It's even in his hair. Thankfully the coffee is not as hot as it started out, but it's still uncomfortably warm. He wipes the drink from his eyes, flicks it onto the ground, and hisses out; "watch where you're going!". The trio? Kinda unsure of how to react at first; Danny is unpopular, but not unpopular enough to be worth bullying -- besides, everyone knows he wouldn't tolerate it. But then I think Paulina finds her tongue and says "what did you say?". Danny turns to her and says; "I said; watch where you're going. Need me to say it in Spanish? Mira por donde vas!" He flicks off his hoodie, grumbling in arabic about how he's going to smell like coffee all day, and stalks off. I'm pretty partial to this idea.

Valerie still gets coffee dumped on her. But instead of sic'ing Kwan on him (because she knows that won't work), she just says a few choice words to Danny and stalks off with Paulina and Kwan to go find somewhere to clean off the coffee. Danny approaches her later and gives her a list of cleaning stuff that can get coffee stains out of her shirt. And when she tells him it's made of like, this super specific fabric that needs this really specific stuff to clean, Danny raises his eyebrow at her and says that he knows, and it is a list of stuff that can clean out the stain without damaging the shirt. He says he's not an idiot, and he knows how to recognize X-Fabric when he sees it. Just because I'm fond of pseudo-prince Al Ghul here being a bit of a snob and has an extensive care and hygiene routine. He uses this moisturizer or cologne that makes him smell faintly like sandalwood and vanilla because that is my favorite scent. Tucker jokingly handed him a 13-in-1 once while they were doing a quick supply run with Sam, and Danny literally dropped it like it burned him.

I'm really partial to two and three. So i'm going to get a second opinion. [...] Second one wins! Thank you, Naviii~ <3.

Danny could just intangible the stuff off him, but that would raise questions and also I want him to go the rest of the day stained with coffee. So it stays, and he's in a sour mood for a good chunk of the day. He runs into Cujo when he disappears down an empty hallway, and gets even more irritated when his ghost sense goes off - but hey! If it's Skulker, he can at least pulverize the dude and let off some steam. But nope! It's a puppy!

And Danyal Al Ghul, local ex-member of the world's most deadliest "we speak for the trees, the trees say fuck you" group of environmentalists ever, immediately feels his troubles melt away, and he croons at Cujo. "Oh hello, habibi. Who do you belong to?" And drops down to the ground to let Cujo sniff his hand. Cujo does so, and then starts vying for his attention, and Danny is grinning very wide and very genuinely and is more than happy to give it. "You are a much better surprise than that wretched poacher. Do you have a name, pretty thing?"

Cujo has a collar on, so Danny touches it, lifts the tag, and sees the Axion labs "A" symbol on it. He hums, narrows his eyes, and murmurs "Where have I seen this before?" But before he can flip it around, Cujo then turns monstrous. We cut to the title screen!

I want to say, the next scene is in Axion labs. The way that Damon (Val's dad), Valerie, those two guards, and his boss reacts, it heavily implies that the existence of ghosts have not reached the whole of Amity Park, and that the city itself is still largely unaware of their existence. Considering that Damon's security system doesn't allocate for ghosts, and when Danny crashes at their feet, Valerie literally asks him; "What are you!?" and she seems surprised when tucker later tells her its ghosts, and is even unaware that Danny's parents are ghost hunters.

When Valerie gets coated in dog ecto-slobber, Danny does grin a little under his little half-face balaclava. Because yes, karma! He is petty, and he can't help but flip to his feet and snarkily, smugly say; "I know what I'm not," and as he says this, he leans forward and plucks some of it out of her hair, "Covered in dog slobber." and then he flicks it away.

Before Valerie can retort, Cujo breaks into the lab, and Danyal mutters curses and bounds after him. The lab gets destroyed as per canon, and Damon gets fired.

The garage sale scene happens pretty normally, when Valerie says her little "oh great, word has already oozed down to the bottom of the social grapevine." Danny's response is snarkier than in canon.

"And here Tucker was just offering some simple help to you, you looked like you needed it." He says icily, and Tucker pipes up and says "we all just want to help!" because I don't fully see Danyal being that generous especially to someone being rude to his friends.

Sam dryly says "I don't." and Danny just stays silent, neither confirming nor denying anything. He just raises an eyebrow and turns his eyes to Tucker, who is laughing nervously.

"Well, Danny hasn't said no. So most of us want to help! That's two thirds." And he gestures awkwardly to Danny, who is wearing a red muscle tee hoodie, showing that he's rather lean. "And Danny's the strongest between the three of us, so he could be a big help! There could get a lot more work done."

Valerie is not convinced, as in canon. Although for my Gray Ghost heart she does check out Danny a little bit -- but quickly shakes it off because she's still very deeply entrenched in the status quo. "Thanks, but I'll pass."

Before Danny's ghost sense goes off, I do want him to wander around the yard sale for a moment just to see what's to offer -- collector of trinkets and pretty things, he is. Projecting, I am. Slightly GNC Danny ftw, it is. There's a table of jewelry up for sale that he's drawn over to -- and almost immediately disappointed by. It's pretty, and extravagant and very obviously expensive, that's for sure, but that's not the problem. Valerie sees him looking and marches over to him, still upset that he and his friends are still there.

"Put that down, that stuff is worth more than your own wardrobe." She snaps at him, and tries to snatch an expensive, luxury sapphire necklace from his hands, and is immediately met with an icy glare from Danny as he yanks it away from her fingers.

"Who says I can't afford it?" He says -- and he can't, not really, not with the allowance he gets from the Fentons and not with their funds. However, despite their limited contact, Danny still does meet with his beloved mother. One word from him to her, and she'd ensure he got a hundred of the very same necklace. "You? You can't either, Gray. Not anymore."

Valerie looks embarrassed and furious, but Danny continues, and tosses the necklace to her. She fumbles, but manages to catch it. "I don't want this junk anyways. It's gaudy and too western. I look better in gold."

Now his ghost sense goes off, and he turns away from Valerie. He doesn't run off immediately, lingers long enough to see who the ghost is and what the danger is. And when the ground begins to shake, he grabs onto the table and reaches out on protective instinct to hold onto Valerie before she can fall over.

As you can tell, this is for my gray ghost heart. Although valerie's clothes do still get destroyed by the street water, unfortunately. And Cujo shrinks down to size by the time Valerie makes it over to her dresser to try and grab it.

Danny audibly mutters, "Its that dog again." and hurries over to scruff the thing before it can wander off. Cujo is wagging his tail and immediately, enthusiastically licks his face once he's got him up to eye level. Danny cracks a little smile, "Hello habibi, you're a little troublemaker, aren't you?"

"you know this dog?" Valerie demands, and stomps over as Danny gets Cujo settled into his arms. Sam and Tucker hurry over as well, looking mildly frazzled.

Danny scoffs at her; "Don't be ridiculous. I met him a few days ago-- wait;" and he pauses to check to see if Cujo is a boy, "--ah, yep. Him. -- I met him a few days ago in the hallway after Sanchez dumped her coffee all over me. He was rather friendly, but he ran off before I could see who he belonged to."

Sam leans over to look at Cujo, and wiggles her finger at him; "He's kinda cute, and he likes you."

Dannny has a moment where he wants to boast, of course he does, I'm fantastic with animals. But instead he keeps mum. His smile just kinda softens proudly, and he hoists Cujo into his arms a little better.

The moment is shattered by Valerie, who points accusingly at Cujo. "Whatever it is, get it out of here before it ruins anymore of my stuff!"

Annnd before Danny can do just that, Cujo begins wiggling to get out of his arms and run around. He manages to, with his ghostly strength drag Danny across the lawn before yanking himself out of his arms and knocking them both onto the sidewalk -- scraping Danny's arm in the process -- and running around.

Rather than his leg, Cujo bites Danny's arm -- and has a strong enough grip on it that he unintentionally pierces flesh and causes him to start bleeding -- and begins dragging him. But before they can reach the moving van, Danny gets his fingers wrapped around Cujo's collar, finds some purchase -- even if it means his bare arm is being dragged against the sidewalk, and yanks hard on Cujo's collar with a harsh; "HEEL."

Cujo immediately stops, and sits. Danny honestly wasn't expecting that to work immediately, but it does! And with Cujo still, he keeps one firm hand on the collar and uses his other arm -- which is now painfully road rash'd and bleeding -- to help sit up.

Sam and tucker and Valerie rush over to help. "Oh my god, Danny, are you okay?" only for Danny to hold his bad arm up to stop them from getting closer, and whirling on Cujo to scold him. He's upset enough that he reverts back to Arabic, but Cujo seems to get the point across and wilts.

Danny feels bad, but can't show Cujo any affection unless he wants to accidentally reinforce the behavior. He points to his side, and Cujo obediently goes to sit but his feet. Now he turns to the other three.

"To answer your question." He looks down to his arm and very gently brushes his fingers against the road rash, brushing out the little pebbles stuck in his skin. it stings like a bitch, and he faintly grimaces. Then he inspects the dog bite on his wrist "I'll be fine."

Even Valerie looks worried; "That looks really bad, Fenton. I think you should go to the hospital--"

"No." Danny immediately cuts her off, "No hospital. Mr. and Mrs. Fenton keep a first aid kit at home, I'll just use that."

"And what about the dog?"

"I'll figure something out."

And then they scoot off.

Cafeteria scene goes as canon, nothing much to change there other than the fact that when Valerie sees Danny, his arm is all bandaged up and he's wearing a batman merch t-shirt rather than a muscle tee, she feels a little guilty. A small part of her kinda wants to ask how he is, but the larger part that's still big on the status quo and is still humiliated by being shunned by her friends, just wants to go eat in peace. So she doesn't say anything.

(although i am thinking that if she runs into him again later after the cafeteria scene, she asks him what he did with the ghost dog, and he lies and says Phantom swooped in and took Cujo from him.)

The park scene goes relatively the same as well, at least in the beginning. But instead of Sam and Phantom being all "he's an untrained dog" they're instead all "let's see what training he does have. Maybe it can be refined."

"You're good with animals Danny, and you're the only ghost in the area. You handle it." and then she tosses the dog obedience book at him and wanders off.

Danny doesn't need the dog obedience book, so he tucks it into a pocket dimension in his cape and whistles for Cujo. There's that whole tumble down the hill, that whole chase scene happens.

I do wanna say, I actually really like how inexperienced Valerie is here. Idk maybe it's because I haven't watched a tv show in a long while, but it's nice to see that she's not immediately good at it. She wobbles on the hoverboard, two out of the three disks she threw at Danny missed, and the third only hit him by chance. She's amateurish, and I really appreciate that.

"Let me guess, first day on the job, isn't it?" and he still gets cut by the third disk like in canon. He's not impressed or convinced when she says she's going to take him down -- it's one quick once over that tells him enough.

Wobbly feet, unsteady balance on the board. -- Her first time using it, she's unconfident and doesn't trust her own tech, as if she didn't even make it herself. She's unused to the board.

Improper trigger discipline, and shaky hands on her gun. She's holding it with one hand and far away from her like she's afraid of it going off, despite the fact that she's the one on the other end of it.

Tense all the way up to her shoulders, her voice is full of false bravado. She has no idea what she's doing. Danny's thoroughly unimpressed. At least the Drs. Fenton and Walker (maddie got her doctorate with her maiden name) trust their tech wholeheartedly and treat them as an extension of themself, just as Danny does with his blades. Just as this new ghost hunter does not.

And, of course, the way she goes flying off her board the moment she fires her bazooka. Although Cujo does still come to the rescue, although like in canon, he grabs Danny by the foot. Danny manages to recollect himself though and hoist himself over Cujo's back like he's riding a horse.

This is the biggest scene change and possibly my favorite change. The fakeout makeout scene. Now, let me preface this by saying that I love the fakeout makeout concept. I think it's hilarious, and I think it's even funnier if Danny is actually rather down with the concept because the assassin-undercover part of his brain thinks it's a simple-in-a-clever way in order to brush off suspicion. I think Sam and Tucker both are very down to kiss their very attractive best friend, and whenever it comes up there have been arguments over whose turn it is to kiss Danny.

BUT. I have an image in mind for this scene, so I want Danny to be alone for this. So Cujo takes him to a cluster of trees and bushes where Sam isn't at, and Danny sends him off with a ball as per canon, but rather than get tackled by Sam, he dives up into a tree and transforms back to Al Ghul before Valerie can reach him.

He is reading the Dog Obedience book, and scares the absolute shit out of Valerie. And it's never a bad day to hurt Danny, so little miss firstie over here fires into the trees, and juuuust about skims Danny's arm. The same one that has the road rash and dog bite on it, that he's forcibly prevented himself from rapidly healing because that would arouse suspicion.

"ماذا بحق الجحيم كان ذلك!؟" ("What the hell was that!?")

Valerie knows that voice, and instantly turns ashen. "Oh no." She flies up the tree and finds Danyal sitting snug amongst the larger limbs, the dog obedience book in his lap, and he's hunched slightly and holding onto his burned arm tightly.

"Oh my god, I-- I am so sorry--" she doesn't have the time to be upset (or snarky or mean) about why he's there, considering she just shot him. Danny snaps his head up and glowers furiously at her.

"Wh- why did you do that!?" He stammers over himself, trying to find his english. Part of it is an act, part of it is genuine anger because she could've killed him with that thing. He loathes incompetence, and she has it in buckets. "Watch where you're aiming that, Trigger Finger, you could've killed me!"

Valerie is all flustered and mortified, can't even find it to get angry back. "i- I am so sorry, Fenton. I thought you were something else--"

"Something else!?" Danny yells, "So you blindly shoot?! What is wrong with you!? Don't you know any trigger discipline!?"

Iiit's. a mess? Valerie offers him a lift to the hospital, or at least out of the tree, and Danny snarls at her not to touch him, and that he's not going anywhere with her on that hunk of sheet metal. He tosses the book at her and says to make herself useful and hold that while he gets down. Valerie feels really guilty -- too guilty to protest or be mad about how angry he is with her.

When he gets down from the tree he takes the book back from her, and then asks her how she even knows his name anyways. They've never met before. "Actually, now that I think about it," he narrows his eyes at her, "you sound like someone I know."

And then he reaches for her mask.

Valerie flies back, stammering over herself and briefly forgets to feel guilty in order to feel panicked and indignant, and then just goes "What are you doing!? You're crazy, we've never met before!" And then flies off.

And, before I continue, I will say right now. Danny, as himself, forever and always from then on refers to Red Huntress (or Scarlett Hunt, as I'm thinking of as an alternative) as "Trigger" or "Trigger Finger" respectively. Whenever they run into each other as Scarlett and Danny, he always calls her Trigger and asks if she's killed anyone yet. Valerie feels really bad from then on about hitting him, because where she hit him ends up scarring.

When she's gone, Danny mutters to himself that that sounded like Valerie, and goes ghost to go find Sam and tell her what happened.

Hallway scene stays the same, and -- actually, I was gonna make fun of the fact that Valerie didn't know the Fentons were ghost hunters when it's the whole reason the family is ostracized. But you know what? I can believe it. Kids will follow the crowds' lead. Witch hunts and all that.

"So, Tucker tells me your parents are ghost hunters!"

"Yeah? What else has he told you?"

Before Cujo shows up, they do actually manage to hold some kind of conversation. However, Danny uses the time to go: "Look, if you're planning on getting into ghost hunting, try not being like the hack I met yesterday."

Valerie laughs nervously, "Ah-hah, no of course not! But uh, hack?"

Danny scowls, and twists towards her with his arms crossed -- he's wearing a red hoodie today, and a band tee. -- "Yeah! I met some chick yesterday while at the park, and Little Miss Trigger Finger shot me." He says, "Your weapon should be like an extension of yourself, not something you just use! Trigger Finger was flailing that gun in her hands like it was a ribbon, and incompetence like that will get someone killed. Your weapon -- whether it be a blade or a firearm or a blunt object -- should be as easy to move as curling your fingers, and just as easy to trust. It should not be a stranger, but a part of you. A weapon must know how to use itself if it wants to be of any use to anyone else."

Sam cuts him off with a high pitched, nervous giggle, and wraps her fingers lightly around his shoulders and tugs him back, sliding her arms around the front of his chest like an anchor. "Danny." she hisses at him quietly, and Danny snaps his jaw shut and looks away.

Tucker also laughs uneasily, "Sorry," he says, leaning around Valerie to get her attention, "Dan here uh, gets really passionate about improper weapon handling. It's one of his quirks."

Danny looks away and mutters something under his breath in arabic.

(You know this already, but Sam and Tucker still don't know about Danny's past. But they've heard him talk about weapon mishandling enough times -- and have seen him fight -- to know that the way he talks is more than just theory. He has personal experience with weapons, and has unintentionally before referred to himself as one. But whenever they ask about it, he clams up and denies any sort of involvement.)

Valerie doesn't really know what to say to that, but Danny seems to know a lot about proper weapon discipline. So she might try her chances with getting to know more about it from him later, if she can catch him. She also silently makes note to get herself acquainted to her own tools like Danny was implying.

And then Cujo shows up, and things happen as canon. Oh but wait Tucker lands on Valerie while she's trying to figure out how to open the thermos, and I want to say that she hears him say "I can help you. valerie!" before he lands on her. So her confronting him after she gets out of the basketball hoop, and practically beegs him not to tell Danny about being the same girl who shot him. She really does think his help could be valuable in the long run because of his knowledge on ghosts and weapons.

Lovestruck Tuck of course, agrees. Not without some tentative hemming and going; "I don't know Val, Danny's really clever. He'll figure it out eventually if you don't do something to hide your voice, it's pretty recognizable."

For this episode, her voice stays the same but in the future she'll be working on a voice mod, and until then refuses to speak around Danny if she knows he's present. If she has to talk, then she forcibly tries deepening it.

Anyways things proceed as canon, Danny overhears the boss with Damon say "I know we should've never gotten rid of those guard dogs."

He mutters to himself "Guard dogs? Wait..." and he holds up Cujo, peering at his collar, and finally realizing where he recognizes the symbol on the tag. Immediately his expression darkens, "Oh fuck no, they did not."

Things go as canon, although Danny sneaks in not only to find what Cujo is looking for, but to hack in and get records of their guard dogs to confirm his theory and to steal them -- plus confirmation of termination of said dogs. So he can blackmail the shit out of Axion Labs later. He stays invisible and uses his league training to sneak around, and actually gets the guard dog records and confirmation before he runs into Valerie and they fight. Danny purposely keeps his distance and focuses more on dodging.

"you're a pretty lousy shot" Valerie says when he blasts above her a metal support beam above her.

Danny retorts sharply, "I could say the same." And although she can't see it, he bares his fangs at her. "Or have you forgotten about what you did to the ghost hunters' boy a few days ago?"

(He can be VERY petty)

Which, of course, infuriates and embarrasses Val. Things remain as is, Danny finds the squeaky toy, he tells Valerie he doesn't own the dog -- although he also says that he belongs to the very same Lab that fired her dad -- she refuses his apology, Tucker pretends to get caught by the Axion security lab. Etc etc.

Danny later reveals that he also stole the records about the guard dogs and how Axion Lab wrongfully euthanized all of them in favor of a security system they didn't even end up using, and was planning on anonymously releasing it online so that Axion could face the consequences for their abuse. Tucker has to beg him not to, because then that would reveal that someone else had gotten into the lab that night and would put Valerie's dad in hot water again.

Danny... reluctantly agrees. For now. But he'll be holding onto it, and keeping his eye on Axion Labs. This sort of cruelty will not go unpunished forever, he'll make sure of it.

ending goes as ending does. They go to the dumpty humpty concert, they speculate where Valerie got her suit. Etc etc. At the lunch table I think Valerie stops by Tucker and co's table to talk to Tucker -- they seemed to end on a good note that night -- and she asks Danny how his arm is.

Danny eyes her quietly, and turns his head away. "It'll heal, so long as Trigger Finger stays away from me." and he does see Valerie wilt a little, and kinda feels bad. But also, she fucking shot him. He's lowkey less angry about that tho and more angry about her total weapon incompetence

-------

When its just Tucker -- and ykw, Sam too, who Valerie would know knows she's Red since she was yk, right there next to Tucker when he fell on Valerie -- and Valerie, he tries to reassure her about Danny's apparently grudge against Scarlett Hunt.

"Aw, chin up Val, I'm sure Danny will come around to your alter ego eventually! He just.. needs some time to heal! Literally, because you... shot him."

and when Valerie realizes Sam knows too, Sam points her pen at her and goes: "The only reason I haven't told Danny is because Tucker is also my best friend," she leans into Valerie's space; "But so help me Moses, if you shoot Danny again, I will not hesitate to tell him. And i will, in a heartbeat."

She leans back, crossing her arms; "So you better learn to control your finger, Trigger."

-

Danny having beef with Red Huntress in his civilian form was not actually in the original cards for this episode, but it came to me as I was writing and I could not pass it up. I think it'd be hilarious and also like, a real point of idk conflict for Valerie. Just one more reason she wants to be abetter ghost hunter because otherwise she'll hurt people -- shooting Danny left a mark on her, and she feels really really guilty about it. Especially after finding out it scarred.

And also it's like, objectively hilarious? It's like the Love Square from MLB but its more like a Hate Square instead. Granted Val and Danny don't hate each other but my point still stands! It's there if you squint.

Every single time Danny runs into Scarlett he calls her Trigger and asks her how her aim is, and whether she knows how to use that weapon of hers. Valerie is both very frustrated by his unwillingness to forgive her and very ashamed by the fact that she's frustrated by it. He has every right to be mad at her, she could've seriously hurt him -- and she did -- but still, his animosity is grating sometimes.

Danny does eventually get over her shooting him in his civilian form -- considering she shoots him all the time as a ghost. But what he refuses to get over is the fact that it happened at all and her lack of proper discipline before she decided to jump into the fray.

No no no, that he is still burning furious about. Tucker wasn't kidding when he said that Danny was passionate about proper weapon handling. The fact that Valerie didn't even acquaint herself with her weapons and learn how to use them properly before deciding to hunt down Cujo and Phantom is the thing that keeps his burning "hatred" against Scarlett as Fenton going.

Idk if it's ever actually confirmed that Valerie and Tucker are dating, its kinda implied that they started. But I'm gonna say that they were only in a talking stage (one that Valerie only initiated for her own needs) and after this episode it doesn't go anywhere, but they remain kinda friends. That way, Valerie can show up a few more times prior to Flirting With Disaster and lowkey hang with the gang without Tucker and Valerie actually dating.

So i was actually going to share a few more headcanons too with Gray Ghost, and delve into the "Flirting with Disaster" episode, but this got... really long, and took me all evening to write (curse adhd) so I am. not going to go into that jadlfh. Plus I have to think more about them and come up with more cute headcanons.

Like how Danny calls her affectionate petnames when they're dating/sorta-dating the moment he settles into the relationship and becomes comfortable with it. One morning when he walked into a class that they shared, he smiled at her all warm and fondly said "Good morning, beloved."

And normally that might sound too strong in the fledgling beginning of a relationship, but Danny somehow manages to make it sound super natural and not at all too-much-too-soon.

Literally everyone's jaw dropped in that room. They've never seen Danny act that way, and Valerie somehow manages to invent a new shade of maroon on her dark skin. She does this cute little giggle-snort and waves her hand at him bashfully. Danny looks very endeared.

Paulina turns to Dash and angrily demands to know why he doesn't call her any cute petnames that aren't babe.

Oh and before I forget: As Phantom, Danny calls Scarlett Hunt either "Scar" or "Little Red Riding Hood" (or some variant). It pisses her off, which he does really like doing. Also, compared to how he fights ghosts, he goes remarkably easy on her. He doesn't even unsheathe his sword for her -- which she does eventually notice and gets angry about. She thinks he's doing it to look down on her.

When it's not. She is Squishy Fragile Living Human In A Meat Shell. He is Immortal Ghost With Powers. And A Sword. And A Decade Of Assassin Training. He could kill her a dozen different ways if he didn't hold back like he is, and he doesn't want her dead.

okay okay that's all I've got for now BUT, as a bonus, while I was making those three different scenes for the coffee splash scene, I stopped midway because I got art bunnies for danny for the first time in forever, and went ahead and drew him. So!! Things in Threes Danyal doodle be Upon Ye!

[tremendouskoalachild]

high republic yellow lightsaber wielders and their fates. spoilers. more or less chronological order. seriously, spoilers.

Kevmo Zink - oh he died horribly (slowly turned to stone while fully conscious, right after watching his master die the same way). his lightsaber stayed behind and was used by the antagonist until breaking.

Xinith Tarl and Sula Badani - two participants in the same horribly traumatizing mission. Sula gets her hand turned to ash, regroups and fights some more, and ultimately gets the rest of her body also turned to ash. Xinith makes it out though.

Enya Keen - one of the era's many, many young Jedi who got reassigned to a different master because their first one died tragically. she also got a replacement lightsaber, leaving the yellow lightsaber gang just in time.

Dagan Gera - leaves the yellow lightsaber club by bleeding his lightsaber and turning to the dark side. predictably this doesn't save him.

Djovi Resmia - Young Jedi Adventures character so i don't really know them but i assume they will be fine?

Loden Greatstorm - could be considered the first big casualty of the series! got kidnapped and tortured for a year. was really close to escaping and then got turned to stone in front of his traumatized student. the villain kept his lightsaber as well and keeps showing it off. hilariously also a Young Jedi Adventures character.

Estala Maru - died in a heroic sacrifice holding a burning space station together. a lot of jedi died in the same event so his death is not that emphasized. what do you know, he also showed up in Young Jedi Adventures.

Indeera Stokes - got to adopt Loden's traumatized student and then traumatized him in turn by almost dying in the same way Loden did. lived but is paralyzed, probably permanently.

Ram Jomaram - he is actually having a pretty good time all things considered.

Emerick Caphtor - doing alright so far! but he is the primary character investigating the creepy things that killed or maimed 4 of his yellow lightsaber predecessors. i am so worried for him.

Soleil Agra - she's okay! also very hot. who said that

Yord Fandar - ??? we'll see in the oncoming weeks. i do think the rando in the background isn't gonna make it though.

[kikyoupdates]

Tears of a Villainess ⭑˚🗡️⭑ 𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑦

yandere!ocs x reader

yandere, reverse harem, isekai, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

Reincarnation isn't as great as it sounds, especially when you've been reborn as none other than the villainess. Fated to die if you stand in the heroine's way, you immediately resolve to distance yourself from the plot. As long as you have nothing to do with any of the relevant characters, surely, you'll be able to avoid an untimely death. But in a horrible turn of events, the heroine ends up wanting to get close to you. Are you really doomed to meet the villainess' tragic end? Or is there an even more sinister fate that awaits you?

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Man. Am I seriously going to have to reject another guy from the same family? 

You blink tiredly, not even bothering to hide your lack of enthusiasm. Rowan grips your hand tight and faces you with a bright, expectant gaze, still down on one knee. Fiona’s been trying her hardest to retain her composure, but you can hear her squealing excitedly in the background. 

To put it simply, there’s a lot happening right now. Certainly not how you envisioned your day going. 

Well, alright, then. Better to get this over with as quickly as possible.

“Sorry, but no,” you say, and you watch as Rowan’s eyes go wide from shock. “This is very abrupt, first of all. And I already mentioned that I’ve been recovering from illness, so now isn’t an appropriate time to be having this discussion. You can’t just spring something like this on me. Also, I didn’t get to finish my apple juice earlier because you decided to trespass all of a sudden.” 

Rowan furrows his brows, but he doesn’t stand up right away, nor does he let go of your hand. 

“You won’t marry me?” he frowns. “You didn’t even take a moment to properly think it through. I apologize for startling you, but if you just give me a fair chance, I’d be happy to prove what a fitting partner I would be. I believe I’m a suitable candidate, and I’m confident that your parents would approve of our union.” 

…shit. 

Come to think of it, that’s right. You already told your dad that you would be fine getting engaged to pretty much anyone other than Alistair. Rowan has a point in saying that your parents would likely be on board. They may dote on you tirelessly, and you’re spoiled as can be, but they still have a few basic expectations, and one of those is that you marry a wealthy, respectable man. 

Since Rowan is Alistair’s cousin, they share the same household name and prestige. In fact, your parents might jump on this opportunity in an effort to try and mend ties with the Calderwood family. You’re not sure how you’ll be able to get out of this one. 

Then again… do you really have to? 

You take a moment to think about it. Officially, Rowan had nothing to do with the plot of the game or any of the villainess’ bad endings. He didn’t fall for the heroine, nor did he ever interact with her, as far as you remember. He’s a side character. Even less than a side character, perhaps, because his character doesn’t tie into the progression of the storyline whatsoever. 

Even if you agree to get engaged to him, it’s unlikely that anything bad would happen. The only reason you’re so hesitant is because he’s related to Alistair, but why should it matter to him if you end up marrying his cousin? You’re still not following the plot of the game, and you’re not interfering with his love life either. 

You know that most of your concerns may be rather unfounded, and a lot of that is due to simple paranoia. If you break things down and analyze them rationally, getting engaged to Rowan carries little to no risk. It’s certainly not a death sentence. 

Unfortunately, there’s another issue.

You just don’t like this dude. 

He gives off a bad vibe. The fact that he waltzed in here uninvited isn’t a good sign. Nobles have certain rules and etiquette they’re expected to follow, and while it’s understandable that an outsider like you would need some time to adjust, he didn’t seem to care that he was acting without any respect or regard for your feelings. 

Not to mention that his intentions seem incredibly crass. What kind of person would jump at the opportunity to get with their family member’s ex-fiancée? It’s in rather poor taste, you have to admit. Plus, his expression when he was recounting how he’d heard of Alistair’s engagement falling through…

He looked positively delighted.

You hastily withdraw your hand, much to Rowan’s visible disappointment. All you really know about him is that he and Alistair don’t seem to be on good terms. They had a few brief, unpleasant exchanges in the game. Just a few sentences of dialogue, but more than enough to convey how disconnected they are.

It’s entirely possible you’re reading into things too much here, but if your hunch is right, then it sounds like he wants to marry you purely to spite his cousin. 

And that’s the kind of pettiness you’d rather not have in your life. 

“I’m not sure how my parents would feel about you going after your cousin’s former flame,” you remark with a grimace. “I’ve never heard of someone within the same family openly pursuing their relative’s ex-fiancée. It makes me question your character, if I’m being honest.” 

Sensing you likely won’t be swayed anytime soon, Rowan finally stands up. He takes a moment to adjust his coat back in place, and despite being rejected, his self-assuredness quickly returns. 

“The heart can’t help what it wants,” Rowan smiles. “And I’d been interested in you well before Alistair even announced his engagement. I had been working up the nerve to propose to you for quite some time, so imagine my surprise when I heard that he’d already beat me to it. I felt incredibly discouraged, but he’s family, so what could I do? I simply endured all the while and tried to work through my frustrations, but when I heard the news, I knew I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by.” 

Everything he’s saying reeks of bullshit. What was stopping him from proposing to you sooner, as he claims he wanted to? He didn’t need to wait and ‘work up the nerve’ to do anything. He could’ve just gone ahead and done it.

“Of course, even then, I still wasn’t completely convinced,” Rowan piles on. “I’d heard many tales of your beauty and extravagance, but now that I’m actually seeing you and speaking to you, I can confidently say I’m sure of my decision. I admire your strong spirit, and you’re so inexplicably charming, in a way I can’t even describe. I understand that it doesn’t paint me in a flattering light to covet the woman my cousin once planned to marry, but I’m not the kind of man who can deny what he wants. My heart is set on you, and I doubt that will ever change.” 

Fiona squeals again, having to clamp her hands over her mouth to try and quiet down. It’s not like you can really blame her. What she’s watching right now is basically the equivalent of a soap opera. 

You narrow your eyes. If he’s really doing all this just to stick it to his cousin, that would be horrifyingly pathetic, but also kind of impressive. You have to admire the sheer strength of will it takes to commit to something so stupid. 

“Well, I’m not thinking of marriage right now,” you say. “My engagement with Alistair only just recently settled. Above all else, I want to focus on myself for a while, and I need to properly assess all my options. I’m not just going to rush into yet another engagement.” 

Rowan looks like he still wants to keep pushing the issue, but fortunately, he must realize he’s not going to make much headway, so he relents. 

“I understand,” he nods. “I’m sure you must have a lot of things weighing on your mind. And it must be especially difficult hearing this after you spent a grueling night recovering from sickness. You’re such a strong, dauntless woman. It’s truly breathtaking.” 

Bro. Is this guy ever going to stop kissing your ass? 

“Uh, sure,” you reply, scrunching up your nose. “Anyways, I gotta go now. Please show yourself out.” 

“But you’ll consider my proposal?” Rowan asks hopefully. “Because I really do think that we would make an incredible pair. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove my worth to you.” 

You’re just about to brush him off again and put an end to the conversation, but as it so happens, that’s not what fate has in store for you today. 

Instead, your father emerges from the manor.

Oh, balls. 

You already know this can’t possibly end well, so you go as far as trying to shove Rowan along—much to his blatant disbelief. It’s difficult to get him to budge since he’s bigger than you in stature, but either way, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference, because your father has already spotted him. 

“[Name]!” your father calls out. “What’s happening? Who is that man? One of the servants said they noticed a strange carriage pulling in. Hey, you there! Get away from my daughter at once! Just what in the world is the meaning of this?” 

He’s furious—or at least, as close to furious as he can be, all things considered. You’ve come to realize that he’s not exactly the most intimidating guy. Unless you’re the kind of person who’s terrified of math problems, that is. 

Your father cartoonishly stomps across the lawn, looking less authoritative by the second, but Rowan still minds his manners (which is something you didn’t think he even had) and bows deeply.

“Please forgive my intrusion, Count [Last Name],” Rowan says, greeting him with a calm, confident smile. “My name is Rowan Calderwood. I understand you must be startled by my appearance, but I came here hoping to speak to you and happened to chance upon [Name] while she was out in the garden.” 

“He was just leaving,” you blurt, but of course, your attempts to end the discussion are futile. 

Your father glares at him. “How dare you solicit my daughter’s company after showing up here uninvited. You didn’t even have the decency to announce your arrival. And you say you’re from the Calderwood family? I was under the impression that our households weren’t speaking. This is remarkably classless of you.” 

Hell yeah! You tell ‘em, dad!

You’re tempted to start pumping your fist in the air and cheering, but against all odds, you manage to hold back. 

However, if there’s something you’ve learned about Rowan in the brief time you’ve known him, it’s that he’s a stubborn, determined son-of-a-bitch. It takes a lot to faze him, and even then, he doesn’t let his smile slip. 

Most people in his position would have been ashamed to be called out for their rudeness, but he manages to face your father with a clear, unwavering gaze. 

“I am Alistair’s cousin,” he nods. “It’s true that we’re related, and that I am technically from the same household as him. But his decisions have no bearing on my own, and although that side of the family may not be speaking to you at the moment, it doesn’t change how I feel. All I care about is [Name], and today, I came here to ask for her hand in marriage. With your blessing, of course.” 

You sigh. 

Well, he went ahead and said the thing. You suppose there’s no backtracking now. You’ll just have to hope that your father won’t be so easily swayed by—ah, never mind. He’s already struggling to contain his smile. 

“You want to marry [Name]?” your father blinks. He pauses to clear his throat, but the twinkle in his eyes is unmistakable. He looks as excited as a child on Christmas morning. 

“She’s an incredible woman,” Rowan nods. He’s not an idiot, and he clearly realizes that the best way to turn the tide in his favor is to start praising the ever-loving shit out of you. “We admittedly haven’t spoken for very long, but I can already tell that she’s a very intelligent young lady. She has such a vibrant, distinct personality too. I find myself drawn to her more and more with every passing second.” 

Your father fails to hide his smile altogether this time. “Well, of course,” he hums. “My daughter is remarkable in every possible way. And she’s not just intelligent, mind you. I daresay she’s an honest-to-goodness genius.”

“That’s no surprise. I instinctively knew she was far more distinguished and impressive than any of the other ladies I’d spoken to. She’s the type of woman who can’t possibly be forgotten or overlooked. She shines as brightly as a lone star in the dark of night.”

…okay, I’m all for being complimented, but they seriously need to stop acting like I just solved world hunger.

“Yes, yes, I’m amazing,” you mumble half-heartedly. “Anyways, I was under the impression that I would have the entire day to rest and recover my strength. I’m not well enough right now to be entertaining guests.” 

You’re not being subtle about how desperately you want Rowan to hurry up and leave already, and the bastard clearly knows it, not that he gives a single shit. 

Luckily, your father still seems to believe that you nearly crossed over into the afterlife last night, and he quickly assumes a more stern expression.

“That’s right,” he frowns. “Forgive me, sweetheart. You must still be suffering from the aftereffects of your illness. I’m afraid we’ll have to cut today’s meeting short, Rowan. You must not have known that [Name] wasn’t feeling well, but all the same, she needs enough time to fully recover.” 

Rowan glances over to you, and although he does a pretty good job of hiding it, you can tell that he still doesn’t buy into the story about your ‘sickness’. 

Which, fair enough, since the story is total bullshit.

“Of course,” Rowan nods gravely. “I didn’t realize that [Name] was unwell when I decided to make the trip here. Given the circumstances, I understand why it would be difficult to come to a decision right away, and I don’t mean to rush you along. I just wanted to make my intentions clear. I hope that you will at least consider me as a potential marriage candidate, and allow me to court [Name] in the meantime.”

Your father stops to purse his lips, then looks over at you hopefully. It’s obvious that he wants you to get engaged, and normally, most noble parents wouldn’t even bother asking for their child’s opinion on the matter. You’re fortunate in that they love to spoil you rotten, otherwise this decision would already be set in stone.

“[Name], I know you’ve just recently ended an engagement, but you were saying you’d be open to marrying other men,” your father prods gently. “I will give you some time to think it through, but will you please give Rowan a chance for the time being? Your mother and I want you to find a good man to spend the rest of your life with. It’s important to keep an open mind.”

Rowan smiles brightly. “Please allow me the chance to prove myself, fair lady. I promise to devote the rest of my life to your happiness.” 

He certainly says a lot of pretty-sounding words, and by the looks of it, your father is quickly being won over. 

Still… at least there’s no official engagement or anything. Your father is giving you the opportunity to date him for a little while and see how you feel. Plus, you did say that you would be okay with virtually anyone besides Alistair. It wouldn’t be fair to shoo every man away without even giving them a chance. 

“Alright,” you concede. “I wouldn’t mind meeting with you for a while and seeing how things go. But I make no promises. My engagement with Alistair taught me that I’m looking for someone who is up to my standards. I don’t want to get engaged again without feeling confident about who my partner is.”

“That is completely understandable. As expected, you are mature beyond your years, and I wouldn’t expect you to settle for anything less than what you deserve.” Rowan crosses a hand over his chest and bows once more. “I will do whatever it takes to reassure you that I am your perfect match.” 

Well, he’s definitely confident, you’ll give him that. 

“I wish you a swift recovery, dearest [Name].” Rowan grabs your hand in his again, and without wasting a beat, raises it to his lips and gently kisses it. You wish you could say that you’re completely unfazed, but he’s damn attractive, and it’s admittedly been a while since you had any love in your life. 

He offers you one last smile before he goes, eyes twinkling with amusement, delight, and some other emotion that you can’t quite make sense of. 

“Good day, my lady. I will await our next meeting with bated breath.” 

Finally, he leaves, and he’s barely halfway in the carriage before your father pulls you into his arms and starts peppering your forehead with kisses. 

“Oh, my sweet, lovely girl!” he praises. “Look at you! It’s hardly been a few days since you broke things off with your former fiancé, and you’ve already got another suitor lined up! I apologize for ever being stern with you. I should have known you would have countless other prospects. A fine lady such as yourself will have her pick of all the men in the land.” 

You chuckle weakly and let him hug to your heart’s content. It’s good that at least one of you is excited. Actually, Fiona looks pretty damn excited too, based on how she keeps grinning ear-to-ear and clapping her hands. 

Even now, you can’t help but worry that Rowan has ulterior motives, but you suppose it’s a good thing you’re going to have a little trial phase. You can get to know him and figure out what he’s actually like. He didn’t make the best first impression in your eyes, but perhaps his rudeness can be overlooked if he genuinely wants to be with you. There’s no harm in at least giving him a chance.

Besides, how bad can he be? 

Charming, handsome, benevolent, desirable—those are only some of the words that have been used to describe Alistair. 

In truth, he’s heard just about every compliment there is. Having grown up in a family that constantly stressed the importance of reputation and elevating oneself, he devoted his entire life to becoming the kind of person he could take pride in. Even now, he continuously seeks to improve upon himself. As his father once said, a man never stops growing, and he should never seek to be satisfied with mediocrity. 

Alistair isn’t perfect. He knows he will never be perfect, and nor will anyone else, because humans are inherently flawed. 

But he can strive to be as close to perfect as possible, and that’s exactly what he’ll spend the rest of his life doing, until his very last breath. 

Lately, though, he hasn’t been feeling so good. Something happened to him that completely shook his worldview and left him in utter disbelief. Something that reminded him of just how imperfect he truly is. 

And that, of course, is the fact that he was rejected by you. 

Alistair isn’t good at handling rejection, mainly because he’s gone his entire life without ever being spurned. He’s used to being met with nothing but praise and approval, looks of adoration, and oftentimes, envy. 

So, when you kicked him to the curb and outright called him ugly, right to his face, his ego took a massive hit. 

It just doesn’t make any sense. 

Roughly a week has passed since you broke off the engagement. At the start, Alistair felt rightfully offended, but he told himself that it was for the best. He never wanted to marry you in the first place. Clearly, you are even more unstable and thoughtless than the rumors suggested, so good riddance that he’s not being forced to become your husband anymore. 

It’s better this way. He was able to avoid a painful, miserable marriage. Now he can move on with his life and focus on what he actually wants to do.

And yet, his mind is filled with thoughts of you, no matter how hard he tries to make them all disappear. 

He simply can’t wrap his head around it. Someone like you actually had the nerve to reject him? Seriously, you? The most infamous noblewoman in all the land, who is notorious for stirring up discord and being utterly distasteful? 

It wouldn’t have hurt as much if some other woman had rejected him. It still would have shocked him, of course, but it wouldn’t be such a bitter pill to swallow. 

After all, what does that say about him? If even you didn’t find him fit to be your husband… how can he ever hope to reach the heights he’s always dreamed of? What kind of pathetic life is he living?

He’s so ashamed he can’t even put it into words. 

“Greetings, Alistair!” 

…and unfortunately for him, it’s about to get even worse. 

Alistair knits his brows together. His least favorite person in the world (other than you) has just arrived. 

Rowan, his insufferable cousin, proceeds to flash him a grin. He’s always got a rather off-putting expression, but today, it seems especially pronounced for some reason. 

“What do you want, Rowan?” Alistair sighs. “Yet again, no one was expecting you to come by. It’s quite tiresome how you keep showing up without warning. My parents aren’t even home right now.” 

Rowan keeps smiling. “Do I really need a reason to visit family? I found myself in a good mood today and figured I would drop in. It’s a shame that my uncle and aunt aren’t around, but surely us cousins can exchange a few words, no?” 

Alistair doesn’t bother to hide his scowl. That’s honestly the last thing he wants to do right now. Goddammit. It figures he’d be stuck dealing with this asshole when he’s already in a terrible mood.

“Make yourself at home,” Alistair shrugs. He beckons a servant closer and asks them to prepare a fresh pot of tea, then sits down on one of the sofas and folds his arms. Rowan sits across from him, still with that shit-eating grin on his face.

What does he keep grinning about? It’s so irritating. 

Alistair narrows his eyes. “Is there something on your mind? It looks like you’re rather excited for some reason.”

“Oh, you noticed?” Rowan muses. He leans forward, interlacing his hands, and his grin widens, disturbingly enough. “Forgive me. Like I said, I found myself in a good mood today. I got rather lucky earlier, if I say so myself.”

“In regards to what?” 

“Ah.” Rowan stops to frown for a few seconds. “Sorry. Now that I think of it, I’m worried it may not be a good idea to share the news right now. I’m afraid it may still be a sensitive topic for you.” 

Naturally, Rowan could care less about hurting his feelings, but now that he’s said those words, Alistair can’t help but want to know. 

And so, he takes the bait. 

“What are you on about now, Rowan?” Alistair mutters. “Just stop with all these mind games and say what you want to say. Get to the point.” 

Heavy silence settles over the room, until finally, Rowan chuckles. 

“In that case, I may as well be candid. Truthfully, earlier today… I paid [Name] a visit. I received her father’s permission to begin courting her. With the intention of marriage.” 

Alistair blinks. 

Uh, what? No. There’s no way. It can’t be. Surely he must have misheard or something. 

Because… because it just wouldn’t make any sense. You rejected him not long ago. You told him you couldn’t foresee a future with him. For the first time in his life, he was tossed aside and treated like he was useless and unwanted. 

And now, he hears that you’ve already picked someone else to replace him? And not just anyone, but his piece of shit cousin, Rowan? 

Alistair feels sick. He clamps a hand over his mouth and draws in a sharp, shaky breath. It feels like the room is spinning. He swears he can see stars. 

Needless to say, Rowan has never been happier. 

“Oh, my,” he mumbles in a fake, condescending tone. “Are you quite alright, Alistair? You look rather pale. See, this is why I was hesitant to share the news. I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it. Chin up, cousin. You’ll get through this.”

Alistair doesn’t respond. It takes a while to get a hold of himself, but he slowly withdraws his hand from his mouth and lets it fall to his side. 

Once his breathing finally settles, he proceeds to glare at Rowan with the intensity of a thousand blades. 

“...are you fucking kidding me right now?”

More chapters are available on Quotev!

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[katerinaaqu]

hello! whats your opinion on Paris and his relationship with Oenone, his forgotten first wife? a lot of people here on Tumblr have mixed views on it, some hating on Oenone and others hating Paris (I am siding with Oenone here lol)

But what do you think?

That is a good one. I would guess depends on who tells the story but either way the fate of the characters are definitely tragic. Different authors present different events so here goes;

For once Apollodorous seems to be indicating a certain level of bitterness between them at least from Oenone's part, given how she warns him not to go and pick Helen since she heard the prophecy on the demise that would follow. Of course with this turn of events Oenone feels betrayed by Paris and thus leading to her refusal to heal him when he runs at her in Ida when he is shot by Philoctetes and his poisonous arrows. However it also seems that Oenone loved him deeply still for she regretted her refusal, took healing herbs and followed Paris to Troy (where he was carried to after her refusal to heal him) but it was too late. Upon Paris's death at Troy she hanged herself in desperation.

Now Photius who seems to be quoting the Augustean mythographer Conon, he brings a more...spicy story between them (no surprise there given how Conon does seem to be speaking on more spicy matters hehe). So basically according to that story Oenone and Paris had a son named Korythos who exceeded his father in beauty. Oenone seems to be bitter towards Paris for his new marriage to Helen and so she sends her own son to Helen not only for the plot against her but also to arouse jealousy to Paris (by the way Helen's reaction to it is not mentioned by Conon so it is unclear if she...liked Korythos or not). Paris got furious and ended up murdering his own son causing Oenone to be furious and curse him to die, inspired by the existing prophecy, for him to be wounded by the Greeks and ask for her help. But when that prophecy came into reality Oenone sent Paris away, refusing to help him and told him "to go to Helen instead". She regretted it later, went to Troy, found Paris she cried over him and then hanged herself with her belt.

Parthenius gives us more information in his work "Narrations of love" in which he presents the background of their relationship and it starts as an idealistic and romantic love story in which Paris meets Oenone while he is a Shephard and he marries her taking her to Ida with him where they share a happy life and Paris swore to his beloved that he would never leave her or desert her. Oenone who had the power to predict the future told him that indeed he loved her now but that it would change. She even tried to tell him on the fate that would befall him but every time Paris would stop her and not let her finish. That seems to be part of the root of Oenone's bitterness for after she goes back to her homeland and Paris arrives to her she says the same thing that Conon also mentioned that he should "go to Helen now for healing". However Parthenius speaks on her love more loudly. He mentions how she runs after the messenger that bore her message at the same time but apparently the messenger found Paris first and Paris lost all hope that he would find help from her. Once again the ending seems the same (although Parthenius doesn't specify the way she ends her life)

Quintus Smyrnaeus and Ovid have their own very long and emotional versions of the myth. I would definitely look for Quintus for he seems to be faithful to what we read on the Epic Cycle with his Posthpmerica but of course that is a matter of taste as well as you see the myth itself has many versions.

However all versions seem to agree on some factors;

Oenone and Paris seemed to deeply love each other

Oenone seems to know on the fate that befalls Paris beforehand and oftentimes Paris seems to know the outcome

Oenone acts bitter to Paris refusing to help him even if he is dying but immediately regretting it out of her love for him

Oenone gives an end to her own life after perceiving Paris dead (usually by hanging herself)

It is hard for me to "pick sides" given how complicated the situation is. On the aspect of fidelity of course one can say that Paris is in the wrong. He basically deserts his wife to marry Helen and he seems in his desperation to seek help from his first wife even after the way he treated her. However I find it interesting how Oenone in all versions is aware of the game of fate, she knows what will happen and she knows that people cannot escape their fate and yet she has such a human reaction to be jealous and bitter to Paris. Also her refusal to help him even if Paris begs for his life. She knows that Paris would be wounded by a Greek and that he would have no way to heal himself but by her own hand. The prophecy for most myths doesn't specify her role further of it and his death seems to be left to her hands only.

Of course one can say that fate being unclear is not uncharacteristic but I find interesting how her bitterness would go (quite understandably I would say) so far as to refuse a dying man to heal him. On that aspect she is "in the wrong" in one essence since she has the power of life and death over him but of course one can understand where she comes from and why she chose to do what she did.

Ultimately I think no side is blameless just for different things. Of course if one talks about "who started it" then yeah one can point fingers to Paris and speak about the way that he abandoned Oenone for Helen. On the other hand his fate was predetermined and as we know there is no escaping from fate and there is a thin line between fate and choice in Greek mythology so in one way how much was Paris's fault and how much was fate is hard to tell. If fate wasn't in the middle I am sure one could blame Paris much more but still speak about how Oenone did not just deny Paris shelter or food she denied him his own life by condemning him to death essentially (thus her own guilt after all) but since the predetermined fate is in the middle it becomes more blurry.

I hope that makes sense.

[moonshynecybin]

what would you consider essential marc and rosquez watching? i don’t mean races but the stuff happening around it, there seems to be so much and idk where to start 😭

BIG ass question. i think it depends what you want outta this and how you best interact with content slash consume information. for me (not to brag but. winner of multiple historical essay writing competitions in high school. for context on the kind of freak i am bringing to the table here.) the research is kind of the fun part ! like i just started googling shit! i would go to inactive blogs and just search 'marquez' on them to see what would happen ! a lot of the times that works ! but it also takes a lotttt of time lol so i'll chuck some good resources your way, why not...

okay im not sure how basic we're talkin here but um. background. so the documentaries are, i think. the best place to start. theyre entertaining and offer a good amalgamation of clips to provide context for the actual racing. and like i know you de-emphasized racing (which is fine lol who cares) but it really is like the most important thing in the world to these fools and its a pretty visual sport so i think its at least helpful. like yes sepang IS about the press conference, but its also about the conversation they have ON the race track using their motorcycles. which is also somewhat a conversation that they HAVE been having all year long...

i'd start with hitting the apex (2013), its a GREAT introduction to the "characters" that does a lot of legwork to contextualize everything. lays the scene for where vale is at coming into his relationship with marc (both personally, wrt to marco simoncelli, and career-wise concerning his flop at ducati), and also how insane marc's whole deal is in general. the second half is. materially a study on what him entering the premiere class did to the sport as a whole. the introductory chapter in many respects

marc marquez: all in. MY introduction and blissfully free online. marc comma in his own words, with all the implications of that. a self-produced documentary where he is giving feedback about the edit of said documentary straight to camera and no less vulnerable because of it which is very marc imo. revealing both intentionally AND unintentionally about his whole deal with injury, vale, and his image.

motogp unlimited. im gonna be real kind of boring. like i would still watch it ! but do it kind of later, once you know the major players so youre automatically more invested. it doesnt really give you more than marc says himself in all in tbh, and i get the sense him and vale were NAWWWT interested in doing more than the bare minimum for it.

marc's rookie doc. free and subtitled on the youtubes. the first half of this is deadass just him wanting to fuck vale so bad while every comment from vale has me saying GIRL. out loud because the foreshadowing would be genuinely shocking if this was fiction. anyways the laguna seca of it all....

next i would hit up PODCASTS ! i think it makes sense after the documentaries, because these are all podcasts that arent strictly about rosquez (even if they are in many ways the main characters lmao) and personally it helps to put faces to lesser known names that might pop up before i listen to a purely audio product and get lost in the soup of sounds. the paddock pass podcast has two retrospective episodes about the 2015 season that are really good at context, oxley bom pod has a fun recent episode on valentino that i love, again just poke around a lil

videos. these guys have never filmed a lot of content together tragically. what i wouldnt give for someone to make them do an escape room. anyways ranch visit HERE (post explaining the ranch visit here). sepang presscon (sowwy) here. vale unhinged podcast interview the month after marc's documentary came out here. vale retirement interview where he gets asked about marc here. vale talking about asking marc to the ranch here. vale postrace at argentina 2018 here. UCCIO postrace at argentina 2018 here. theres a lot moreeeee just go on my blog archive and filter for rosquez and vids its easier lol

journalism. hello. okay so you should genuinely spend some time reading through mat oxley's stuff he can write (theres a paywall but you can run that shit through wayback machine). he also loves an insane comparison which i do enjoy.... again this is one that can be solved by googling his name and tacking on 'marquez' or 'rossi' or a specific time period or race it will probably reap some dividends. in terms of specific ass articles this one is kind of load bearing in terms of sepang and some of the interpersonal competitive tensions at play. that being said there are manyyyyyy crazy interviews and snippents of articles from other journos floating around motogp tumblr (like literally too many to link) adn its fun to dig around to find them, but mat oxley gets a shoutout because i was reading this article TODAY !

other content. honestly one of the best resources I'VE found for plotting out the arc of their relationship is @kingofthering's everyrosquezpodium series. you can REALLY see it play out lol. also her tagging system rules she very neatly lays out years and races... so if something jumps out at you, CLICK ITTTT ! also all of @ricciardoes fave presscon moments series. insane.

all this to say a small little rpf fandom like this rewards some digging! i would just recommend following narrative threads that interest you ! its also a small fanbase that is pretty research oriented, so if youre ever confused about somethin, just shoot an ask or run a search on someone's blog (@kwisatzworld has endless vale resources and @batsplat is one of the most thorough researchers ive ever seen, for example) like for real theres so much... i also have a primer that i made forever ago that has some links on it so you can peruse that if you so wish. but frankly a lot of it is just using those research muscles and being sufficiently deranged enough to be screenshotting reddit threads at one am so you can post them to tumblr because they mentioned marc and vale in the same sentence and that lit up some of the neurons in your brain

(and i know you said outside of races but i think theyre good benchmarks as turning points soooo you should do some diggin on laguna seca 2013, jerez 2015, argentina 2015, ASSEN 2015, sepang 2015 obvi, argentina 2018, and misano 2019. those are the big tentpoles of insane rosquez relationship drama imo. i mean theres many more but. im limiting myself.)

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! Thank you for all your hard work (all of the mods!)

I am considering giving a human version (like in an alternate universe) of a non-human character a cleft lip. as the regular version of him has a similar condition, at least visually, though he is not made of… uh, flesh and blood? And I’m not sure if he was born with the condition or acquired it later. Would it be wrong to give the human version of him a cleft lip in this case? (It’s not framed as tragic or anything, he’s just vibing and going about his business.) If it is something that would be appropriate, I was wondering whether it was realistic for an adult in modern day to have a cleft lip (probably not palate, just lip), when, from what I understand, that is usually corrected* as an infant? If it is not realistic, are there alternative facial differences that may affect one side of the upper lip/mouth? I am trying to avoid another “character experienced The Accident and is now disabled/has a facial difference,” so I was hoping for something congenital, but given this character’s line of work (machinery, chemicals, sharp things, fire) it would not be unreasonable for him to have been injured either.

*I am unsure if “corrected” is the proper term here, please forgive me if it is not

Thank you for your time and for helping me to readjust my thinking in so many matters already. I want to keep learning to do better

Hey!

If the character isn't originally A), an actual monster or B), a rabbit/hare kind of creature*, I don't see any issue with their human form having a cleft lip. I guess there could be some kind of non-fleshy creature that could be unfortunate as well, but I can't think of any to be honest.

*that's because of the outdated term “hare lip” that was used in the past, which is currently considered offensive. Only applies if you specifically give them a cleft lip, other facial differences are fine.

In places like the US or Western Europe most children will have a surgery on their cleft lip, but that's not necessarily the case for areas where a surgical center (or any kind of medical facility) might be inaccessible or just plain non-existent. There's a ton of adults and children who haven't had anything done about their clefts right now; this claims that “vast majority of [children with cleft lip and/or palate] will never receive [reconstructive surgery]”. So yes, it's certainly realistic for a character to not have had surgery depending on their background. [note: I don't really like how the article talks about facial differences, but medical sources will medical source.]

Other facial differences that could affect the upper mouth could be;

a birthmark (a red port wine stain, or a black and hairy nevus, or one of the other billion combinations),

an overgrowth (like in neurofibromatosis t1 or any other overgrowth syndrome, or even things like lipoma or a cyst),

a scar (could be traumatic, from a surgery, from an illness, many options), it could also have be of different kinds - keloid, hypertrophic, etc.,

facial paralysis (could be that their upper lip doesn't move at all on one side - could be a stroke, congenital, traumatic, brain damage, progressive, infection...)

a burn scar, though it would be very specific to only have it in the upper lip and nowhere else - but I think that something like a boiling or chemical droplet falling on their face would make sense,

a whole bunch of things that I’m forgetting.

With choosing which facial difference you want to give that character, I'd keep in mind that they have symptoms other than just the visuals, and it would be good to consider whether or not you want it to reflect the original version of the character. Many people with cleft lip, especially if it's uncorrected, may have a speech disability or trouble with eating (and, subsequently, might have malnutrition problems). So if the character has very clear speech, it would be good to maybe mention that they were in speech therapy, things like that. If you don't want to get into symptoms and treatments (past or present), going for a birthmark would probably be the easiest.

I hope this helps. Thank you for your willingness to learn :-)

mod Sasza

[fandomsandflyingstingrays]

Full thoughts on season 7! (Or at least, as many as I can remember, sleep-deprived and emotional as I am)

Starting off positive: things I liked!

THE RUTHARI REUNION WAS EVERYTHING

Runaan's gentle kiss to Ethari's hand? The way the camera rotated around them for their kiss?? Their hug afterwards??? Ethari's little "my heart"???? This was worth the six-year wait

The moonfam in general was one of my favorite things about this season. Runaan calling Rayla his daughter again, his and Ethari's unconditional support of her, the way they interacted with Callum... it was exactly what I dreamed of

And speaking of Runaan: his speech to Ezran in 7x09 will be living in my head forever. The way his tears weren't pretty, they were real. The was he said "I'm alive". It was such a stunning conclusion to his arc

On that note: the voice acting? Spectacular. Callum and Soren had me in floods of tears when they met in the ruins of Katolis. And don't even get me started on Zubeia during her fight with Avizandum

The lighting and music were also so on-point

TERRY'S REDEMPTION ARC LET'S GO

His speech to Claudia was stunning

Also, his "hello, Zuko here" moment made me cackle

I love that he and Soren are on their way to friendship, I always thought they'd get along

I also really liked that Aanya was present throughout the season! Every time she was in an action scene I was screaming

I thought the plotline with Miyana being pregnant was really interesting, because it presents a moral dilemma that isn't explored a lot. Plus, the way Karim reacted, calling the baby his heir and never his child, was very telling of his mindset and priorities

This is going to sound really weird, but I loved the moment of Rayla taking up Runaan's bow to fulfill his promise. Like, obviously it's tragic and I was in tears, but also, it really shows her respecting Callum's agency? She was able to respect his choice and put his wishes above her own needs, and it was cool to see

I'm so glad they addressed the bird theory. There was way too much of a focus on Pip for it not to go somewhere

Things I disliked:

There were times when the animation really threw me off. Like, after Callum froze all the guards in 7x02 and they were trying to break free, they were just... tapping the ice with their weapons. Really slowly. It kind of axed any urgency. And during Ezran's speech at the end, some of the characters in the background were just... done in a completely different style? I'm sure it was a reference to something, but as someone who doesn't know what that was, it really took me out of what was supposed to be an important scene

There was a lot of explaining things over and over. Yes, we know Aaravos never lies, you don't have to keep telling us. Yes, we know the Orphan Queen wielded the nova blade, you don't have to keep telling us. Yes, we know people are not all good or all evil. You used to be really good at showing that instead of making speeches about it once an episode

Also just a lot of monologuing? Like, why did Callum have to explain in detail to Aaravos his plan to trap him before he did it? I know we the audience needed to know but from a strategic point of view, it was... not the smartest he's ever been. It would have made more sense if he was trying to explain it to Rayla, I think

It didn't really... feel like a finale. They left a lot of loose ends open, and beyond that, it felt like there was very little payoff for things that had been set up throughout the arc. Why did we spend two seasons looking for the nova blade if we were never going to use it? Why did we spend all arc foreshadowing Callum's corruption if it was never going to happen? I get that they left it for arc 3, but even so, the resolution of an arc should still feel like a resolution, much like arc 1 did

(Also, are we ever going to come back to that hallucination Callum had? Like, is he not at all concerned by the fact that he had a conversation with himself with seemingly no magical involvement?)

I wish we had gotten to see Anya act like a person. It was great to have her around, but it felt like she was in queen mode the entire time, and I'm really curious about who she is beyond the crown

Finally- the thing that I disliked the most was the way things with Callum, Ezran, Rayla, and Runaan were handled in 7x02, because it made it very hard for me to root for Callum and Rayla afterwards. I totally understand that Rayla has an attachment to Runaan and Callum has an attachment to Rayla, but neither of them seemed to actually consider Ezran at all. Like, here is this twelve-year-old boy, who just lost the home he lived in his entire life. Who lost his father at a very young age and, as a direct result, was forced into a responsibility that he absolutely should not have had to carry. I feel like at the very least the people who are supposed to love him the most could say, "hey, I understand that you're angry" instead of treating him like he's totally unreasonable. And then! They just leave him! A twelve-year-old who just lost his entire home! Who has literally no other family! And whenever they talk about mending things, it's never, "oh, I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I never took time to validate how you were feeling", it was just "we're family, we'll find our way back to each other eventually". That's not how it works. When there's a hurt like that, you don't just stop being angry without coming to an understanding. I love Runaan, and I wanted him to be free and happy, but I also think that he did in fact commit a murder (yes, technically just of a bird, but he didn't know that) and it's reasonable to expect him to face some consequences. Even if it's just, like, community service. You can be merciful without condoning

But just to be clear: I have absolutely no ill will for anyone with different views on this plot point. My frustration with it is more from a personal perspective than a writing one- my dad was killed a few years ago, so I'm siding with Ezran from an emotional standpoint. But I thought the plot was worth mentioning, since it really affected how I viewed the rest of the season

Overall, as a season, book 7 had a lot of moments that I really loved and will be rewatching very often. But as a potential sendoff, it didn't really leave me with much of a sense of closure. Fingers crossed for arc 3, I suppose!

[monstress]

arcane s2 thoughts

prayinggg we get a no soundtrack version because while i do like a few of the tracks (yes even Enemy!!!), there are more duds than hits and they take me out each time

also obviously i'm a Jinx Is Alive truther because of the ending scene of cait staring at the air ducts to the hextech tower fiddling with a fragment of her bomb...come on. jinx has said in the start of the season that she wanted to leave piltover/zaun and with isha gone and her sister happy, she can finally do that

i am very invested in jinx and vi's relationship so when jinx without any hesitation chose to let herself go from vi's grasp and destroy warwick (both something that vi could not do) which in one fell swoop legitimizes her agency, protects vi from a monster, saves vander from eternal hell - i'm like yea...[sniffs] that's a redemption arc baby

jinx and vi. piltover and zaun. they'll always be sisters...yea....

i admire the open ending with the airship. but she did say she'll ride one of those things one day. yay.

maybe an unpopular opinion but i liked cait this season. finally some bite and controversy and trauma to her choices. she was way tooooo comfortable in s1. while she's still a cop, at least she's interesting now!

also ok....yelled and hollered when lesbian sex is finally happening. rejoice guys - i thought we will never get it

the writing pace of this show is bonkers and i understand they need to keep it tight because of animation budget but what the helllllll was that viktor machine herald speedrun. it felt like it needed a good one more season to incubate and i was overwhelmed with that + jayce's heel turn + mel's superpower reveal like hold on hold the fuck onnnnnn what does this meannnnnn

gay sex in hextech void deus ex machina goes crazy tho

like oh yeah i am cosmically tied to only one man in this world and he alone can guide me to the error of my ways in any universe

ok!

mel being the most specialest princess in the entire world seems right imo. i can easily be riled up to sycophantic fervor to serve in her army just say the word ma'am 🫡

let's not forget the tragic irony that Mel was exiled by her mother and has tried to carve her own path through diplomacy and peace in defiance but ends up finding herself sitting in her mother's steel ship in her colors with her army with so much power in her veins and now leaves the city she loved that her mother ruined too. mel merdada one of the characters of all time......

and i am a number one sap so!!!!!!! the flashback scenes this season got me hurting real bad. when i thought i was devastated by Remember Me...here comes s2e7 to punch me in the gut

the fact happiness and normalcy was possible for powder...the fact that powder will never use hexcore because of what happened to vi and it made all the difference. vi's death unknowingly protecting her sister (and the world!) from beyond the grave...i am sobbing my eyes out

also as a season one timebomb shipper, thank youuuu arcane writers i didnt expect this at ALLLLLLLLLL???? it was written like everyone knows they were an item except themselves??? i have done nothing to deserve this but thank you

UPDATE: i hv been informed that they are already dating in the alternative universe from background details. even more delicious

i am just happy to be here and prepared to be devastated

vanderco Real. like don't even waste your breath to say they aren't when they look like they are glowing in domestic bliss. what's some light stabbing and drowning between married couples amirite fellas

claggor and mylo!!!! i didn't expect to get emotional seeing them since idrc but seeing them grown up like ohhhh these are vi and jinx's brothers...and they'll never know this life...okay.....

the alternative timeline pretty much put a bandaid to the pain and suffering for the past 2 seasons and as contrast for more suffering. i love it. the writers are so diabolical

heimerdinger sacrificing himself for ekko is ok for me lol idc abt him goodbye cheesepuff

i still need to process the Ambessa vs MelCait fight. im quite sure there's some great parallels there

but Ambessa as a character is sooooo fascinating. while i hv qualms making a prominently Black character be an imperalist warlord (othering her with her accent too), Ambessa i fear is so so very cool and i was slightly rooting for her ngl like i can't hate a cunning ambitious woman it's against my nature!!!!!

i am gonna think abt mel holding up ambessa like repin's painting of ivan the terrible for a longggg time

side note: i love that sevika finally got what silco wanted all along - a seat at the (council)table. like that's my wifeeeeeee. lib ending i know i know since the best ending is a free state of zaun but like narrative wise it would notttt make sense at the point of time. but also since they never confirmed anything, i wanna say they'll have a go at dismantling the power structure that is oppressing zaun with sevika keeping an eye on it. not a perfect solution but i'll take it rather than leave it

so will i watch another show on LoL?

mmmm.......anyways guys watch Penelope of Sparta!

[aspho-bell]

I'll developp under cut

LUCIAN : Ok, from all the characters I have cited ( let alone Ifan's supposed wife ) Lucian is the man I ship the more with Ifan. Because Ifan is inherently rootless, and I headcanon him as always trying to find the place where he belongs ( tbh it'd need a post for itself ), because he is not an elf, but he is no human either. And he seeks that place. And we know that he was very close to Lucian, so maybe what he felt for him was not only friendship, but also admiration, even some kind of love. The kind of love you feel when you idealizes someone, and when this someone makes you feel at home. I will dig into that later, but I headcanon Ifan to have a one-sided love for Lucian, as the man was like, father of two children.

As for Lucian ? Ifan's love wasn't that one-sided, after all. I talked a little about Lucian's tragedy here, but I imagine there is some kind of feeling of desire for Ifan. Desire for his humanity, his golden heart, as he is, maybe, Lucian's idealized reflection. There is some complicated feelings he feels, feelings he cannot understand. Lucian does not love him like a human could, but he defintly loves more than a god should.

I think it makes Lucian's betrayal all the more tragic.

ROOST : I say dark romance because there is no way Ifan could love that man and not suffers from it. Well, if we follow the idea that Ifan longs for human relationship, then Roost is the perfect candidate after Lucian. He's very human, and like Ifan, has nothing left. He's a Lone Wolf, and the way Ifan speaks of him, he was a good friend of him. They may have shared something more - and that something would be horribly toxic. Roost is a cruel man, and Ifan probably had closed his eyes more than once instead of confronting Roost's horrible deeds. The violence flows between both of them. That's why it would be toxic. That's why I say : dark romance forever.

HIS DEAD WIFE : It appears from the alpha version that Ifan was married and father of a child, and I saw people keeping that idea of a dead wife. And I like it ! I always like when characters don't meet their first and only love in the course of the story, meaning that they have a romantic backstory, before the actual love interest. Moreover, his wife's identity ( whether she is an elf or a human, or her job, her personality ) can give some interesting headcanons about Ifan's background. Of course, it's a matter of interpretation, but I think we may have something here.

SEBILLE : From all the origin companions, she is the one that strikes as the most coherent one for a potential lover, due to all the parallels between both of them. Both outlaws, both raised by the elves, both rootless since the tragedy, both having unwillingly commited great crimes against the elves. They would certainly understand each other's suffering, and have their redemption arc together. I am no convinced myself, as they are too similar, but this is a coherent ship I can't deny.

NOBODY : To be honest, if there is no customed godwoken, I tend to ship Ifan with nobody. Because his final journey is, for me, a lonely one, and Ifan has so much good dynamic with the origins characters as friends.

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the post i'm currently writing is taking longer than expected, so I give you that while you're waiting for it. There is actually no good answer for Ifan, but personally, I think his relationship with elves and human men is to be developped. This poll is a way for me to see what other people think about Ifan's relationships.

I also invite you to share, if you want so, the way you consider your ship between your godwoken and ifan, or any ship you have between ifan and someone. it may be a good way to see different people's vision. might even do this myself.

Anyway, that is all. Until I post again.