#I am not much of a dinosaurs person
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tj-crochets · 28 days ago
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Hey! This might be a weird ask, but do you know anywhere that has Cambrian sewing patterns? I’ve been trying to track down a wiwaxia or anomalocaris, but no joy. Thanks in advance!
Hey! Not a weird ask at all, and I swear I've seen one for an anomalocaris before but I can't remember where?? I'll take a look and see what I can find, and hopefully someone will see this that has a link to a pattern Edit: So good news bad news, I did find the anomalocaris plush I was thinking of, but the designer has not shared the pattern. Good news is it looks really simple to design a pattern for a simplified version of it? I'd just need to handstitch on the curved front...not legs and use the same technique I use to make spider legs without having to sew each leg individually (topstitching, but maybe also pleating) Can you reblog this with some reference photos of anomalocaris? anomalocarises? I do not know enough about them to be able to distinguish which ones are good references
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sangfielle · 7 months ago
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pterodactyl is not on there because she is literally not a dinosaur sorry 💔
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yamineftis · 2 years ago
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One thing that is really breaking my heart in this season is how stupid and incompetent they’ve made all the mandalorians, like, are we supposed to root for these guys? Who live in Jurassic Park and claim their children are the most important thing to them, but just stay put and watch them get snatched by giant birds instead of idk, trying to hunt them? Couldn’t they like, have asked Din when he returned the first time this season to help them track the birds with his ship cuz apparently they took the space bus to this planet?
Couldn’t they like, be portrayed as the most fearsome warriors in the galaxy who are in the verge of extinction cuz they’re so dangerous the empire/renmants sends hoards of soldiers to kill them whenever they learn of a new covert? How did these fumbling fools manage to survive this long? lmao why
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235uranium · 1 year ago
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back from the barbie movie and I certainly have Thoughts on what the movie was doing but overall I do think it's worth seeing! it's fun
#☢️.txt#spoilers in tags!#i think what they did with ken is actually really fascinating and while i do get why the movie doesnt focus on his motivations#or the fantasy politics of barbieland#i AM personally interested in them#like his frustration is coming from a legitimate place and the movie does acknowledge that both barbie (margot) and the barbies overall were#Not In The Right and its not the actual solution to the issue of feminism#in the same way that the movie acknowledged that barbie didnt solve feminism and in many cases ended up playing into#the very ideas that prevent women from pursuing the jobs barbie is often shown in#im sure ppl will critique the movie for not going far enough but like. i dont think their point was to make a massive statement?#so much as it was to make a campy blockbuster that gently acknowledges the ways people can so often feel left out#its not the feminist piece of a generation so much as it is a love letter to barbie that acknowledges how shes#an inherently flawed consumerist brand. but one thats deeply cherished by generations and has left a massive pink stamp on our culture#(its probably worth noting that i have generally positive memories of barbie)#(despite being a weird fat kid i never personally felt alienated by barbie and my memories are extremely fond)#(i didnt like baby dolls bc. i never have liked kids but barbie was a fantasy in sparkly dresses)#(she was married to my dinosaur toys. ive always known what im about yes)#my favorite barbies were swan lake a halloween witch barbie and a halloween ghost barbie#(also idk is this an autistic thing for me to only learn most young girls compared their bodies to barbie at like 14?)#(like it just never dawned on me to compare my looks to a toy tbqh. i was more upset by the actual lack of clothing in my size)
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roombagreyjoy · 2 years ago
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I think I’m going crazy because I got to thinking about how during the pandemic we literally had people teaching us how to wash our fucking hands (like celebrities doing TikTok videos washing their hands wtf) because apparently some people didn’t know how to fucking wash their hands and it got me remembering about how you’re literally taught how to wash your hands as a kid like even in elementary school and preschool. They would even show you videos like there would actually be children TV shows about taking care of yourself and they would have this silly little song about washing your hands and brushing your teeth and I asked the venerable Three Year Old whether they had TV shows that taught them to brush their teeth and wash their hands and she said she didn’t know… which is like ok fair enough because you are literally only three years of age and you don’t really have object permanence or anything (not true btw) but I genuinely cannot remember if they teach stuff like this in Bluey or whatever the fuck. Do they teach this stuff in Spongebob I can’t remember. I’m going insane.
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bmpmp3 · 1 year ago
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i do wonder if one reason i tend to go for the method of "kidnap a vague story idea and make expies of all the characters i think are relevant and make up something new and barely recognizable" instead of the much less complicated method of just "writing a fanfiction" is that i play fast and loose with lore details if i think they suck or are boring or just irrelevant and i have this very intense possibly irrational but maybe rational fear that if i write a i dunno. zelda fanfic and i dont get everything 100% right based off the official nintendo timelines that ive been ignoring since they came out that the fanbase is going to take me out back and put me down.
#another reason is it is just fun LOL and i can get even faster and looser with expies#but i do feel that urge sometimes like. damn. i wanna make a fanfiction#but then i get. hashtag scared#i like interpreting stories too much!! having a little fun with it and thinking about it but not deciding anything clear or concrete!!#those who know my ikesen AUs know this about me. you know this HFKDSLJFDS#a woman can be a normal woman and also a goddess and also a normal woman (single mom edition) and also some kinda time travel anomaly and#a fucking GHOST i dont know an alien a person who doesnt remember history class. a person who doesnt remember history class.#all that can be true to me and also none of it is <3 i like to live my life ambiguously#i am comfortable getting silly and having fun with fan stuff for ikesen tho. actually a lot of smaller and more obscure games like that#like ikesen is not tiny but it is an otome game (niche) and a mobile game (another niche) from like 2016 (7 years ago)#so the fanbase was always a little smaller but chill. had a lot more confidence there#but i get so scared making fanworks for bigger stuff....i need to get braver.... i need to get courage#and then maybe. i can make the dinosaur zelda game AU of my dreams#and maybe i could even. draw fanart. of the popular spy and assassin and telepathic child manga ive been quietly obsessed#with for a year straight. maybe. maybe i can do it#(not gonna stop expying characters from stuff tho LOL i mostly do that with stuff i was meh on anyway hkjsjfds)
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heartburstings · 2 years ago
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do u ever see comments on posts and artwork full of effort and thought and passion etc and like. think about that post that talks about how people have the darndest time interacting with art without trying to crack a joke about it. is it really so boring to take someone's art seriously? is it necessary to demean someone's efforts, however unintended, for a 'joke' that consists of you being like "ooOOoOh how weird lol!!" like i don't want or mean to be a killjoy. but i think about that post a lot. like y do u need to add a punchline to something that doesn't need one. who asked u. why does it need to be funny. and u don't even have the decency to acknowledge its merit ;/
#wynn speaks#don't get me wrong i love being silly it's 1 of my most valued traits#but like. idk.#imagine seeing a genuinely cool animation of how a feathered dinosaur might look in a jurassic park-esque movie#and you comment that it looks like a big bird creepypasta. like rlly u couldn't keep that to urself?#sorry it's probably not that serious. i'm just extremely petty and that comment annoyed me and now i am in my petty mode#i went to check the artist out (they're on twitter @wobblyworks) and turns out dinosaurs is their Whole Thing#tbh the feathered dino animation reminds me of like#so i went to this science museum to chaperone my little sister n her classmates and they had this fun li'l thing#where a guy was in basically a full-body puppet which was a feathered t-rex#and they treated it like a 'real' t-rex while talking abt dino facts#they let kids throw a light ball at it to 'play' w it it was very cute#and like you could See the puppetteer u could see their legs and shoes and stuff#but even middle schoolers were able to look past that and see how genuinely fucking cool that was!#like yes they made jokes abt the sneakers and how a human crawled out the rex when the show was over and they had to put the suit away#but they were in so much genuine aw it was rlly cute. and it makes sense bc the suit was really well made! it had a moving mouth/jaw#and i wouldn't be surprised if it had a mechanism to blink its eyes#but i digress#i'm not saying that u can Only interact with art with complete seriousness. like jokes r fine#but idk. becomes a problem when that is the only way u interact with art. and also if you're unfunny and personally annoy me#and i'm not saying that person is the kind of person to do that. bc idk them. i'm just like#kind of annoyed with seeing repeat instances of comments that r like 'hmm this art... what if i made it about how funny i am!''#i say kind of but then i look up and there is an entire wall of tags that r just me griping about it and a detour about a dino puppet suit#sorry besties i just needed to get that out of my system ily <3#btw the dude's part of a project/kickstarter called 'forgotten bloodlines'#and it seems to be an animated documentary about prehistoric creatures#i recommend u check out the trailer it looks soo cool
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lord-shitbox · 1 year ago
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every day i beat back the shame and self criticisms with a stick..
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goblin-enjoyer · 18 days ago
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I swear why are half the things i like/fandoms im in made of mostly younger people while the other half are mostly older people? what are the zoggin odds with that?
How it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 30-40 somethings.
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VS how it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 14-17 somethings.
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like am do i just have extremely odd luck with things i like or is this just what being 20 is like?
#I go browse homestuck twitter and find out an artist I like is turning 16. I go to warhammer twitter and see a meme poster I enjoy is almost#three times my age.#like how do you get a person to somehow feel too old to be in a one fandom yet too young to be in the another?#i know this sounds stupid but it happens every time i like something#world of warcraft has people who have been playing this game for as long as i have been alive#despite aging with the game minecraft is primarily youngsters#team fortress 2 is somehow both too young and too old a fanbase#i've long since reconciled with the fact pretty much everything i like is over a decade old but why cant i just like something with a ->#similar age base? like it would be nice to interact with people that like similar things i like on a consistent basis.#I don't want to buzz around my 2 friends ears trying to not talk too much about my interests. Don't get me wrong I love those two gits but-#its not like i can complain about those childish gits who kept blocking the good fishing nodes in world of warcraft#I cant share my homestuck art and make references to characters that they don't know#I like making references! references make up roughly 1/3rd my jokes! Heck they make up my zogging dialogue too!#HECK I SAY ZOG AND GIT BECAUSE I AM A BLOODY STUPID MIMIC! I'M NOT EVEN BRITISH I LIVE IN MASSACHUSETTS!#YET EVERY TIME I GET A NEW “main interest” OR WHATEVER I END UP TAKING IN ZOGGIN SPEECH PATTERNS FROM THE DANG THINGS!#I ONCE MUTTERED “merde” WHEN THINGS WENT WRONG FOR LIKE OVER A YEAR BECAUSE SPY SAID IT AND ONLY STOPPED WHEN MY BILINGUAL AND FRENCH TAKIN#FATHER AND BROTHER RESPECTIVELY TOLD ME IT MEANT SHIT#I SAY “SLAPS ME ON THE KNEE” AND “SUCKS ON ICE” BECAUSE OF A MAIN INTEREST!#MY POSTURE GOT BETTER SOLELY BECAUSE I DID NOTHING BUT LEVEL A ZANDALARI HUNTER UNTIL LEVEL 120.#WHEN LAUGHING A MODERATE AMOUNT I DO THE /LOL ORC EMOTE. WHEN CHUCKLING I PUT MY HAND ON MY MOUTH LIKE SHIVER FROM SPLATOON BLOODY 3!!!#I HAVE BEEN UNINTENTIONALLY MIMICKING THINGS I LIKE FOR YEARS! I BOB MY HEAD AND WALK DIGITIGRADE BECAUSE I HEARD BIRDS/DINOSAURS DO IT TO-#BALANCE WHEN WALKING. AND THE ONLY REASON I SUCKED AT RUNNING WAS BECAUSE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I WATCHED A SCENE OF ICE AGE WHERE SID WAS WAL#ING AND MIMICKED HOW HE WALKED FOOT -> FOOT INSTEAD OF HEEL -> TOE HEEL -> TOE#AND NOW I GUESS I'M JUST WAITING FOR WHAT ILL GET FROM HOMESTUCK HUH#ugh if you can't tell this is a midnight brainrot post. i may be awake and on my computer but this still has the energy of that kind of pos#saturday warhammer and the following wendys browsing for ya folks.#midnight brainrot#Man i needed to get those off my chest#not like anyone reads these midnight brainrot posts anyways#oh yeah gotta tag art and paint.net so i can easily find these drawings later if i need them
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shattersaurus · 3 months ago
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Alright everyone, I am a weak person. After relentless suggestions and pressure from all my friends and some of my family members I got my butt out of my chair and figured out how to turn my pridesaurs into actual stickers!
It was a longer process then it should have been, since I am very picky with quality. I tried several print shops in my area, all of which did not achieve the proper results, so I got myself a printer and cutting machine and oh man, I just love the results! Took me a lot of time and effort to learn and figure things out (testing different printing settings and sticker paper material) but I am very happy with how these little guys turned out!
If you would like to support my silly little dinosaur art, then you can buy any of these stickers from my Etsy shop, which I just set up recently. I am pretty new to this entire business side of art things, but I am trying my best :D so a like or a reblog would go a long way. Thank you guys so much for all your kind words and support
Link to my shop:
If you have any requests or questions, please don't hestitate to reach out!
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tj-crochets · 1 month ago
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I finally managed to grab a plushie from @thylacereal (aka Thylacine’s Toyshop, not sure how best to tag them here on tumblr) before they all sold out, and look how cute it is!!!! It’s so soft, so well made, and that tail is absolutely adorable! Even the tag is adorable!
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1d1195 · 10 days ago
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Hummingbirds
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~5.2k words
From me: Based on a song of the same name--you'll see the lyrics in a moment. You'll need to suspend your belief a bit. I'm not sure everything makes perfect sense, but. Some of this story takes place through emailing and I didn't have a good method for this. So bold will be Harry's emails. Pink writing will be hers.
Warnings: angst, fluff, anger honestly just fluffy. second chance love
Summary: Harry has been angry for a really really long time. Only one person ever made him confront his anger.
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“Eli, baby, we have to go!”
Harry could hear her from outside. He smirked, sipping his tea while he waited for Buddy to do his business. The air was crisp just like October should be. Decorative spider webs lined the front porch and the flower bushes in front of it. He was utterly pleased with his life. So completely happy.
“Mommy! I can’t find my dinosaur sneakers!”
“I don’t know how to spell it,” Evie frowned. “I’m going to fail!”
“Just do your best and practice, my love. I believe in you,” she assured as she zipped her backpack up at the doorway and stuffed her feet into the slip-on sneakers by the door. They make me feel old, she told Harry. They’re the perfect shoes for a busy Mum, he assured her. And I think y’look hot wearing them.
“Eli, honey!” She called back. “They’re here by the front door!”
Harry couldn’t stop smiling. “How lucky am I, Buddy?” He asked shaking the leash slightly. The dog turned to him and then tugged him around the yard looking for the right spot; totally unaware or unaffected that Harry had the best life there was to live.
“I-M-P-E-R-U-T-I-V-E.”
“Close, baby girl,” she smiled encouragingly. “It’s an A, not U.”
She looked miserable as she stepped off the porch. Evie approached Harry while his wife bent to help Eli with his sneakers. “I’m going to fail, Daddy.”
He chuckled at the little nine-year-old. Crouched to her height twirling the leash tight around one hand. He straightened her little hair bow on the side of her head, pinning her hair back to one side. He kissed her forehead. “Mummy said y’were close. Y’did a great job. Y’jus’ have t’remember there’s an A,” he reminded her and then pinched her cheek gently. “Like the grade you’re going t’get, right?” He winked at her.
Evie’s sweet eyes lit up with new hope. She turned to the pretty woman at the door holding Eli’s hand to usher him quickly out of the house now that his shoes were securely on his feet. “Mommy! Did you hear what Daddy said to help me remember?”
She grinned so beautifully; it melted him. The center of his chest felt deliriously warm. It felt equivalent to being snuggled under a blanket with her, warm and close while it snowed outside their house. The kids drinking hot chocolate at the coffee table and a movie playing in the background.
It was unbelievable she was all his. “What did Daddy say, Evie?” Eli held onto her hand tight while he jumped from the second to last step of the porch while Evie explained the A she was going to get. “Well, I guess you inherited your smarts from Daddy, hmm?” Which was unequivocally a joke. She was a hundred times smarter than him. Or at least it felt that way. But he loved her so much for never making him feel less than. She was good at that. It was impossible to feel less than in her presence.
She was good at everything. Her job, being a wife, but perhaps his favorite thing, she was a tremendous mother. Something he knew she would be good at, but not to the extent he witnessed on a daily basis. Eli hurried to Harry and Buddy petting the dog’s head and giggling when he licked his face. Harry kissed the top of his head and gave his little body a squeeze. “What smarts?” Harry asked.
She rolled her eyes as she finally approached her family. “You’re plenty smart, baby,” she shook her head with a gentle smile. The two kids that looked like the perfect combination of them went to her car and climbed into their respective seats. Harry wrapped his free arm around her back and pulled her to his side. He kissed her temple, nosing along her hairline.
“Not as smart as m’beautiful wife,” he reminded her. She laughed.
“I love you.” She tilted her head up for a kiss which Harry never let her wait for.
“I love you,” he grinned into the kiss.
“Ew!” Eli called.
“Mommy, let’s go!” Evie was eager to get to school and ace her spelling test.
“Bye Daddy!” Eli shouted. She gave his cheek a final peck and she headed across the yard to take their kids to school. “See you at my soccer game!”
“Hey kitten?” He called.
“Yeah?” She asked over her shoulder.
“M’a lucky man t’have you,” he reminded her.
She shook her head, laughed. “Me too, baby. Luckiest girl in the world to have you.”
The second her door closed behind her a swarm of hummingbirds fluttered so loudly into the yard. Seemingly out of nowhere. The noise of their wings was unbelievable. A dull roar. It was hundreds of the little birds, and she paid no mind to them as she started her car. Buddy didn’t care about the intrusion either. Even the kids were indifferent. “Are y’seeing this?” He called out to her. He blinked curiously when she didn’t respond. “What’s with all the—”
*
I had a dream last night / we were married in that house you always talked about / you were rushing to get the kids to school / packing their lunches, reviewing their spelling words / it was hummingbirds
Harry’s heart was beating like he had just finished a workout. His skin felt clammy. The sheets were wrapped too tightly around his legs. He groaned as his alarm vibrated to the same hum of the birds in his dream. The music playing alongside the vibration made him grumpy. “What the fuck?” He whispered and smacked the song off. He wished he could go right back. Did Evie pass her test? Did Eli score a goal?
Did she still love him the way he dreamed about?
*
Dr. Hendren listened to Harry’s dream but very much already knew the ending. It was the same as all his dreams with the house and the girl that he had been hearing for ten years.
“Harry,” the doctor said gently as he watched Harry on his screen. “Do you know what hummingbirds symbolize?”
“No,” Harry was grumpy. He always was after a dream that was so real so lifelike. It wasn’t fair. He just wanted her back. Wanted to see her. Wanted to know.
“Healing.” Dr. Hendren was quiet while Harry processed that. He worked his jaw, swallowing, and flexing it as he tried to get the words to come out. His body felt tense. Like he was trapped inside a box that was too small. That didn’t seem right. He didn’t feel like he was healed. He was still frustrated most of the time. Work was a minor distraction, and the loneliness was crippling at times. The only reprieve was dreaming of that pretty girl he knew so many years ago.
Why did it have to be her? She didn’t deserve Harry and his bad attitude. She already suffered through it for two years at a time when life should have been fun, lovely, sweet. They were kids and Harry was an ass. He never even said he loved her back then.
“Don’t you think,” Dr. Hendren continued quietly, and Harry knew what he was going to say. “You’ve been quiet long enough about what you want?” He shrugged. “Harry,” he tutted.
“I wasn’t a good boyfriend.”
“You were a kid.”
“She deserved more.”
“Then tell her. Worst case scenario, she doesn’t want to talk to you and you’ll have some closure and you can stop dreaming about it.”
Harry remained silent, looking around his empty apartment. He took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright. I’ll reach out to her.”
“Harry,” Dr. Hendren said quietly. “Have you thought about the best-case scenario?”
He shook his head. Thatkind of hope could kill him. But he knew why the dreams were so powerful these days. Why they were so steady and quick.
Woke up bleeding from my mouth / I bit my tongue right through / well I broke the habit / I guess that I’d had it not saying the things I need to
The following morning, he searched his inbox from an email he hadn’t used in ten years and found the address he never thought he’d email again after he broke up with her way back when.
But Harry wasn’t twenty anymore. He was trying to move on. Trying to fix things that should have been fixed a long time ago. He sat on the couch, typed out seven different versions of the message and clicked send before he could overthink it any longer. He slapped the computer shut and rubbed his hands on his pants. He took a sip of the tea he made hoping to calm himself and told himself that it was okay if she didn’t answer.
Hey. Long time. Not sure if you use this email. I know it’s been a long while. Hope you’re well. ... I’ve been thinking of you. And truthfully, I had a pretty realistic dream that you were in the other night. Nothing weird. Just my old self and back then and... I don’t know. ... How are you?
If she was working, she might just be getting settled. Or maybe out with a friend. Running errands. He refrained from imagining a little family that was waiting on her for dinner but reminded himself anyway that there were a million reasons she—
His phone lit up on the table beside the computer and his heart skipped a beat.
Harry Styles. As I live and breathe :) I’m well! How are you?
That little smiley face made his heart ache with adoration for her. He could picture her pretty face smiling. But she answered.
Good. Yeah. I… I’ve been going to therapy regularly. Finally had to and... my doctor and I have discussed a lot of things. You were one of them. I just... wanted to chat with you. I’m sorry, this is so out of the blue and weird.
No! Not at all, Harry. I’m glad you reached out. It’s really nice to hear from you. Therapy? That’s amazing! Do you like it?
I’m a work in progress.
Aren’t we all? :)
He smiled feeling relieved. Even just reading words on a screen made him feel at ease. He could practically hear her sweet, encouraging voice.
What are you up to? Do you live in state still?
Yes! I actually just moved down the road from the college. I’m a guidance counselor at the local high school.
That’s lovely. I’m not surprised you accomplished your goals. Your students are lucky to have you. Are you doing okay? It has to be draining.
A lot of the time yeah. But it’s rewarding as hell. You know I love kids, and I love being able to help.
Harry wondered if it was possible to love her more than he ever had before.
There’s a shadow on my shoulder / always whispers in my ear / that I’m so angry all of the time / I should be alone another year / I didn’t say it how you needed it / must have written it down a thousand times / all the things I would scream at the top of my lungs / if I wasn’t so busy saying I’m fine.
Harry had a habit of not saying what he was feeling. He bottled so much of it up and hid it from the rest of the world. Even people he loved. When he was dating her back in college, he kept a lot hidden and exploded when she asked him simple questions about himself. Trying to understand him and why he was angry all the time. Her willingness to look past it, try and help, and just continue to be kind to him made him angry too. It was constant, draining. It was like he couldn’t help himself.
There was a tiny voice in his head that told him he was too angry for her. She deserved someone lovely and sweet. Someone who would talk to her and tell her things. Be the person she deserved. Because despite everything, Harry loved love. It was nearly impossible for him to show it back then. But he did. He wanted to love her the way she needed.
But he was so busy being angry and bottling his emotions he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t love her the right way.
It was so unfair to her and looking back on it made him feel like a proper ass.
So, he was grateful for the email communication. He couldn’t imagine having this conversation with her about all this in person. They chatted for days. Catching up on things, reminiscing. Their email chain was up to 100 something messages. Some messages were long. Harry chatted about his family and she about hers. There were updates on work. On friends they still spoke to and no longer did. The conversation continued over the course of a little under a week.
But the most shocking details came from her.
I mentioned I moved... my ex-fiancé broke off our engagement. Don’t feel too bad for me, it’s actually a relief in hindsight. Something I’ve been trying to figure through. It’s why I know that anything you feel you did wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought it was. There’s far worse relationship enders than a little bit of anger.
Jesus, I’m so sorry, kitten.
Well, isn’t that a sweet name for sore eyes :) Don’t be sorry. It’s good. I have this cute apartment to myself and it’s for the best it happened now before there were too many variables to consider...like kids or a house or something, you know? I’m definitely sad. But he wasn’t the one for me at the end of the day.
Sorry for dumping all that on you. It’s not really fair given our past. I think a lot of my friends disagree with my choice on this to let him go so it’s nice to just tell someone non-judgmental.
Harry felt angry the way he used to. The way that made him want to scream and he felt the desperate need to message Dr. Hendren because he felt out of his depth. All he said was sorry. How could she feel he was non-judgmental. He was judgmental. He was judging the fuck out of the piece of shit that broke her heart and made her sad.
But he was no better.
The man is an idiot to lose you. I know from experience.
:) I have to head to bed, there’s a big pep rally tomorrow at school so I have to have my brain ready for chaos. Sleep well Harry.
Good night, kitten.
He reread those messages over and over and right before he was going to fall asleep, his phone lit up with one more message.
You’re not an idiot by the way. He might be, but you, Harry Styles are not.
So of course, he dreamed of Evie, Eli, and the sweet girl at the other end of his emails that night.
And hummingbirds.
Thousands of hummingbirds.
*
Most of their messages were short.
I’ve been going to therapy for three years now.
That’s wonderful, Harry. Really. Do you like it?
Yeah...it’s hard.
:( Yeah... It really is. Do you like your therapist?
Yeah. I’ve had him the whole time.
Yeah? That’s good. I’m... proud of you. I don’t want to be weird about it, but I know you were angry. Really angry. It wasn’t good. You didn’t deserve that. I’m glad you have someone to help you work through it.
...You were so nice to me. When you shouldn’t have been. I didn’t treat you right.
You were wonderful, Harry. We were practically kids. If our relationship had any faults, it was because we were too young. I don’t regret a second of time being with you.
His heart skipped a beat. He felt that frustration from back when they were young, and she was so understanding but it didn’t make him grumpy or feel inadequate. All he felt was a sense of belonging. Something he probably would have felt back then if he could have gotten out of his own way. She was willing to look past it then as she was now.
You’re much too forgiving. He wrote. Because old habits die hard.
You weren’t fine, Harry. You didn’t know. We didn’t know what we were dealing with at that age.
Harry hadn’t a clue what he was dealing with. Did he even know now?
Can... can I give you something?
Give me something?
Yes. I... I can bring it to your apartment or to school or we can meet, I just... I’ve been trying to let it go but I think... I think my dream was reminding me that... there’s more to you. More I need to do for you.
Sure, if you think it will give you closure.
God, Harry wanted anything but closure.
Just to clarify: I don’t think you owe me anything.
I kept a lot hidden from you. I held back and it wasn’t fair. All you wanted was to love me and I wouldn’t let you.
It’s a vulnerable thing, Harry. To be loved. You didn’t do anything wrong. We were just young.
But... you knew I wasn’t fine, and you tried and... I just wasn’t fair to you.
You were fine, Harry. I promise. Bring me whatever it is that you need to give me to make you believe you did what you could with what you had.
*
Her apartment had a wreath on the door. It was beautiful with an array of burnt orange and red flowers and green vines. The perfect fall wreath. Beside the door were three pumpkins of different sizes. If he didn’t have her address, he almost thought he would know it was her place. He looked at the mat in front of the door that said welcome, and he wondered if there was any other place where someone actually meant it.
Swallowing, he took a deep breath and knocked. After a minute, the door was out of the way.
At 18, Harry thought she was beautiful. The most beautiful girl he had ever met. During the time they dated, he thought she got more beautiful every second. Apparently, he was right because the woman before him somehow got exponentially more beautiful. Her smile was so inviting, so warm. Like he was seeing an old friend. “Hey Harry,” her voice was sweet. Not an ounce of distrust, frustration, nothing. Their breakup was ten years ago. Not a degree of anger was left.
Harry wasn’t angry either. Not anymore. But if she had broken up with him and he hadn’t done all this work to better himself, he would have been. He didn’t know how she could be so sweet after all she went through.
“Hi,” he swallowed. “I don’t want t’keep you. S’really nice t’see you,” his dream didn’t do her justice. Sure, she was beautiful especially with their imaginary kids. Simply stunning. But this was more. This was the beautiful angel he loved so much even when she wasn’t his to love.
“You’re not keeping me; do you want to come in?” She shifted to open the door wider. “I can make some tea. Or we can order pizza?”
“No,” he shook his head. “I jus’ want t’give y’this,” he handed her the shoe box.
She opened the lid. “Well, you know I won’t say no to shoes,” she smirked.
As much as he wanted to laugh at her joke, he felt like he made a mistake. The box was out of his hands. Not because of what was in there but because of the fear of rejection and being so vulnerable. Feelings of inadequacy were currently circulating through his bloodstream. “Um... s’not—”
“What is this?” She asked, tilting her head. He swallowed, pinched his lower lip between his fingers and took a deep breath.
“S’letters.”
“Letters?”
“I wrote t’you.”
“Me?”
He took a deep breath. “M’sure y’know m’not good at saying what m’feeling.”
She replaced the lid, leaning against the frame. “I feel like I’m a little lost here, Harry.”
He nodded, shoved his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t fidget or reach back out to take it from her. His mouth felt dry. He wished he had taken her offer for a glass of water now.  “I know y’said y’thought we were fine. But m’not happy with how I treated you. Y’were an angel. The perfect girlfriend and I treated y’unfairly a lot. I guess I’ve really held onto that and some of those letters are old but when I hit low points I thought ‘bout what y’said back then. How I wasn’t on m’own. I was allowed t’be angry. But I had t’let people in. All that. I wrote t’you a lot over the years. M’therapist said it was actually one of the smartest things I’ve done on m’own,” he chuckled. “I want you t’read them. When y’have time. I guess. I don’t know,” he cleared his throat. “This is really scary,” he admitted.
“Okay,” she nodded encouragingly and reached out to his forearm. She squeezed it reassuringly. It was only a touch on his arm, and he felt so good feeling it. He knew it was her training kicking in. Like a broken, beaten student at her office door. “I can do that,” she assured him. “Do you want me to text you about each one? Or just a summary of all of them? Or do you want me to not say anything?”
He looked at his feet. “Fuck...” he whispered to himself. “I don’t know.”
“Okay,” she took a deep breath. “Thank you,” she smiled. “I’ll start reading tonight and I’ll decide in the moment. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want.”
He nodded, looked at his feet. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?”
“S’a lot.”
“I enjoy reading, Harry,” she grinned and moved her hand to his upper arm and soothingly rubbed up and down. “Thank you for trusting me.”
Of course he did. There was no one else he really did. He nodded, feeling nauseous but still lighter. “I’m gonna go now,” he swallowed.
“I’ll email you,” she assured him with a smile and headed inside.
*
Like it grows old real fast / how much you can love and not get it back / were we too attached? / It’s a shame how often goodbyes last / I thought we were better than that / I thought I was stronger at last.
The knock on the door was hurried, eager. Insistent on being heard.
At first, he felt frozen in the kitchen cleaning up the dinner he made himself and placing the dirty dishes in the sink. Maybe he imagined the knock. Maybe he was just dreaming again. Plus, she said she would email right? This wasn’t something to feel nervous about.
But the flutter of knocking continued. He hurried from his frozen position as the rapid taps hit the wood. He knew. His gut telling him exactly who was on the other side of that door. Taking a deep breath, he swallowed before pulling it out of the way.
“You bought me the house?!” She shrieked.
Harry dipped his head to avoid her eyes. “Yes.”
“Harry Styles, what the fuck?!”
He felt sick. “You hate it?”
Her eyes were red, glossy. Not what he expected at all. But why wasn’t it? This wasn’t normal. After a breakup of her own where she was sure she was going to marry the guy. Harry appeared out of nowhere. Telling her that he had a dream about her, and he hadn’t stopped thinking about her.
She covered her mouth and shook her head. “Harry,” she croaked.
“I’m—"
“You can’t buy me a house! We’re not even... Harry. This is insane! You have to see that!”
He shrugged. “I guess... but... I don’t know, kitten. I think about you all the time. I see this house in my sleep. I see our life in m’dreams every night.”
She was wearing only socks. Like she didn’t even have time to put on shoes. She held the paper in her hand wrinkled like she had read it hundreds of times already even though he had only given it to her the night before and he just knew which one was in her hands. She cleared her throat and read the date from ten years ago before she read the remainder of the letter.
To the resident(s) of 1278 Chestnut Street
My name is Harry Styles, and I am a college student in town. My girlfriend and I walk by your lovely home every day when we head to our favorite coffee shop after class. We love your home. Or I should say, my girlfriend LOVES your home. She claims it’s her dream home. The porch, the yard, the location... everything. She even loves your driveway. Every bit of your house is part of this fantastic dream she has of the life she wants in the future.
I don’t know if I’ll be with her forever. I am... working on myself. I’m not very good at all this relationship stuff. Especially when it comes to her. Quite frankly, I think she deserves way better than me. But on the off chance I am lucky enough to keep her in my life for as long as I would like, I want to make her dreams come true. She deserves that. She deserves every single one of her dreams to come true. She is the kind of girl that deserves every good thing that can possibly be provided for her.
If you ever find yourself selling, would you please consider emailing me first? Of course, if you have family that you plan on giving your home to, I understand. I can’t even promise I’ll be able to afford it, but I’ll want to know. If only to pass on the message to her somewhere down the line. She deserves the chance to have all her dreams come true.
I’m not sure where you are in life or if you have ever been in a relationship like this one. This girl is so special. She’s an angel. The kind of love that even a movie couldn’t show, or a book couldn’t write. I’m lucky to have her right now and I don’t know why she’s with me. I don’t know why I’m even sending this crazy letter other than I know I have to try. Even if she’s smart enough to leave me, I want her to know her dream home is available. Somewhere down the road. Even if we’re not on the same road anymore. That’s what she deserves.
I’m sorry to bother you like this. I hope you can understand what love can do to a guy in college with a girlfriend who is LEAGUES above him. Thank you for taking time to read this and I hope you continue to enjoy your lovely home.
Sincerely,
Harry
Her voice shook as she read it. “You sent that when we were in college.” He nodded, swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at the packet stapled together. “They emailed you,” she whispered. He nodded again.
“Dear Harry. We got your letter. When the time comes. We’ll be moving closer to our children. They’ve never expressed interest in our house the way you have. My wife and I met in college and believe me, I know a little something about finding the girl of your dreams. It’s nice you’re working on yourself. You deserve the life that fits this house too. We hope it’s with the girl that is leagues above you (although, we imagine she’d think differently). We’ll be in touch. The Andersons.”
Harry watched her flip the page as she made eye contact with him briefly before returning her gaze to the paper in front of her.
“Dear Harry. We hope life is treating you well. That you’re working on yourself, and your girlfriend is still around. If she’s not, we hope you’re not being too hard on yourself. We wanted to let you know we’ll soon be moving to a retirement community close to our son. We want to have you (and your girlfriend) over for dinner if you’re available. Let us know.”
Harry knew what was coming but he was still terrified. Why was she here? Barefoot. Reading the letters to him. What did she think.
“Dear Harry. It was so nice to meet you in person. Here is the contract we discussed. See you soon.”
He rubbed the back of his head. “Kitten,” he whispered.
“Dear Harry. We hope you get her back. Enjoy your home. Never stop giving out your love. The Andersons.”
She was teary, swallowing hard. Her hands were shaking as she held the papers in front of her. “You bought me a house.”
He nodded. There was a pause. “M’sorry I took so long.”
She dropped the papers and launched herself into his arms. He stumbled back at the impact. Her arms around his neck, her feet barely touching the floor as she tucked her face into his shoulder. “Harry,” she whimpered. Harry sighed, wrapped his arms tightly around her, one at her waist, the other hand cupping the back of her head.
“I’ve loved you for so long,” his voice felt raw. Like he was the one that was crying and shaking. Not her.
She sniffled and nodded. “I know,” because she did. She read every single letter. Watched the date change but one thing never did and that was the love she felt in each letter.
“M’so tired, kitten,” he croaked.
“Of what, baby?” She cupped his face. The emotion on his face was tender and nothing like she remembered from ten years prior. Her thumb soothingly rubbed his cheek.
“Life without you,” he closed his eyes tight. “This house is yours I want nothing more than for you t’have it, but I want it t’be ours.”
She sniffled, ducked her head briefly as she glanced around. “You decorated it for Halloween,” she whispered.
“You would have done better.”
She snorted. “Harry...”
“If this is the house that makes you happy then I want it jus’ as much, kitten. But you’re my home. You always have been.”
“I don’t know what to say Harry,” she whimpered.
“Say yes.”
“Harry...” she whispered.
“Please, I’m so tired of loving and loving and never feeling that way. I know s’how I made y’feel in college and y’jus’ dealt with it. Y’jus’ wanted love and I didn’t give y’what y’needed. But m’ready now. M’so ready t’do whatever y’need t’love you the way y’deserve. The way y’always deserved.”
Not for the first time in his life, Harry prayed that if this was a dream, he would never wake up.
He never thought he would hold her again. Never thought she would be in the house she always wanted. Or that she would know he was sorry for how he was back when he was an angry kid.
Perhaps most importantly, he never thought he would feel her lips on his ever again.
--
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abswife · 10 months ago
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modern gf! ellie headcanons
i'm in love with this woman so this is what she'd be like as your girlfriend <3
nsfw at the bottom mdni
you'd meet her at a vintage thrift store
you'd be there with a couple of your friends and one of them would be like "omg check out the hottie over there"
and you look over and it's ellie looking gooood
then she'd like trip over the carpet or some shit, looking like a dumbass and your friends would immediately lose interest
but not you
you'd be like hot and awkward??
hell yeah
i am a loser ellie truther i won't be stopped
ESPECIALLY modern ellie
like ellie without all of her trauma would be a total goofball lets be fr
so anyway, you'd find a way to talk to her
and you end up securing those digits
you guys would go on a couple dates and start hanging out a lot
you kept waiting for her to ask you to be her girlfriend but it just wasn't happening
so, you took it upon yourself
once you guys are official, she can be much more suave
however, she's still a goober
she would work at a comic book store
and even though she has tons of comics readily available to her, she still owns a like a whole plastic tub of them
wouldn't even put them on a bookshelf, just keeps them in a plastic tub
she DEFINITELY is still a space nerd
maybe she's a student studying astronomy or something
her idea of a date is watching a movie at home and eating ramen noodles lmao
idk why but i feel like when she's at home she just refuses to wear a shirt
like she is just constantly walking around in her sports bra
she also ABSOLUTELY owns a pair of dinosaur boxers and they are her favorite
her favorite pet names for you are babe and pretty girl
and probably like "my little crunchwrap supreme"
she's the type of girlfriend that would do stupid shit to impress you
like she'd try to jump over a trashcan or something in public and totally eat shit
absolutely oblivious to how hot she is
like girls will stare at her in public and when you get huffy about it she's like "??? what are you talking about?"
nsfw
she is usually a top but will bottom if you ask nicely
despite her awkward and silly personality, in the bedroom she's actually very confident and sexy
though she still likes to mess around and have fun
a MUNCH
she could eat pussy all day it's her favorite activity
when she uses a strap she acts like it's her actual dick
she'd have you suck her off and she'd be moaning and groaning like she can feel it
when she bottoms she likes to be spanked oop-
however a little more hesitant to spank you cause she's like "but baaabe i don't want to hurt you :("
though it doesn't really take much convincing lol
she's got a high libido
bby likes to fuck at least every other day like she's a horny little monster
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pterribledinosaurdrawings · 3 months ago
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As someone who quite likes the dinosaurs, I'd rather have a happier person behind the screen and no dinos for a while than an unhappier person behind the screen (and maybe no dinos for a while anyway, if you burn out on the project enough down the line). Which is to say, take a break if you need one.
ehh, it's alright. I haven't been drawing that many lately anyways, maybe once or twice a week at most.
I can't stop completely drawing them because I have a patreon where I post 4 dinos a month, and that makes up about 30% of my income, so I could not pay my bills without it. And it would feel unfair to only post them on patreon and none publicly. In terms of time spent & money earned it's certainly a much better job than the barely above minimum wage alterations job I also have. The difficult thing is that I have to make myself do the drawings at home on a somewhat regular schedule, which I am bad at.
I may grumble about it occasionally, and I would love to just stop completely, but realistically I'm very lucky that I have the dinosaurs to help make it so that I can get by with the part time schedule of the alterations job, and can spend more time and effort on the sewing videos which currently do not make much money at all. (I also post monthly behind the scenes updates about the sewing videos on patreon, which are my favourite kind of posts to do there! Tomorrow I shall post about two or three videos that I'm working on.)
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alyakthedorklord · 1 year ago
Text
Bat Poker Face Training
Dick, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Jason all crammed into someones room, with a kidnapped Duke sitting awkwardly with them, kinda scared.
Duke: “Uh… what’s going on?”
Steph, completely blank faced and standing ominously in the corner: “It has come to our attention that you require training.”
Duke: “Bruce is already teaching me really well-“
Jason, also blank faced: “That’s bat training. This is robin training.”
Cass, carefully but without a single emotion: “Sibling training.”
Dick, face just as blank as all his other siblings: “It’s much more fun.”
Duke, freaked out by the empty faces: “Am I being hazed?”
Jason: “Eh, maybe. Scared?
Tim, not giving Duke a second to reply: “Yes, he is. It’s written all over his face. And while its okay to be scared, sometimes hiding your true emotions in the field is a matter of life, death, and secret identities.”
Dick: “You’re going to be flustered. Humiliated. Terrified. Angry. Relieved. Your vigilante ID dragged through the mud in front of you as a civilian. Someone worried about your civilian ID and you need to keep them away.“
Tim: “Not just as a Bat, but a Wayne. Some dinosaur at a gala is going to say the most out of pocket thing you’ve ever heard in your life and you’ve just got to stand there.”
Duke: “So that’s the reason you’re doing the creepy thing?”
Steph: “Yes Duke. You need to have a poker face that Even Superman can’t break. That even a Fifth-dimensional Imp can’t crack! And that is the purpose of our training tonight!”
Duke, getting the program now: “Okay. I’m ready.”
Jason, allowing a creepy grin to slide over his face: “Don’t be so sure. Because what we are about to show you… it has broken Batman.”
Dick: “Damian is too innocent to see it, which is why he isn’t here.”
Steph: “If you can handle this, you can handle anything.”
Tim, tapping on his computer, chanting under his breath: “the horrors, the horrors, the horrors…”
Duke, terrified of what Tim is about to pull up, on the edge of his seat wondering what on earth can shake the Bat of Gotham, what the family considers too awful for thier arguably LEAST innocent member to see, what vile images he’s about to be shown…
Tap. The screen lights up white.
Duke: “No.”
Jason, grin widening: “We’ll be reading this aloud, for your entertainment.”
Duke, trembling and inching towards the door: “No.”
Steph, vice grip on Duke’s arm: “There’s no escaping it, Signal. This is your mission- to stay completely pokerfaced through Real Person Fanfiction of us- the Batfamily. And co, of course.”
Duke, sobbing: “Please, why… why would you do this to yourselves… oh god, is that… is that… is that Kate with Bruce? She’s a lesbian! And his cousin!”
Steph: “They don’t know that, Duke. They know nothing. And the depths of a human imagination is comparable to the depths of the ocean… there’s some weird shit down there.”
Tim, without a single emotion on his face, least of all mercy: “I had to sit through Young Justice fawning over Dick and Bruce. Do you know what they said? About my own father figure? Right in front of my salad? I was lucky I was wearing a mask. I cried, and I cried in silence. They knew NOTHING, because I showed nothing. This is what you must achieve.”
Jason: “I’ve had to listen to criminals talk about what they’d do to the ‘Prince of Gotham’ and not twitch. I’ve had to listen to both goons and civilians play fuck marry kill with our vigilante identities and not move a muscle. I know this feels like overkill, but trust me, it’s not.”
Dick: “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it mostly PG. Tim? Begin with the wildly out of character and aggressively heteronormative Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman love triangle. Then maybe we’ll work our way up to slash readers and…” shudders in horror, “…batcest.”
Duke: “NOOOOOOOO!!!”
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merlucide · 7 months ago
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PLEASEEEEE CAN YOU WRITE HEADCANONS WITH RIN, KAISER, SAE, OTOYA AND REO AND A SHYREADER WHOS SHY AROUND PEOPLE SHE DOESNT KNOW BUT CRAZZYYYY AROUND PEOPLE SHE DOES KNOW PLSSSSS
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BLLK BOYS WITH A SHY BUT CRAZY S/O
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Notes: OFC WIFEY. Also… this scenario, seems, a bit self insert don’t you think…. 👀 ALSO LMAO I MADE READER UNHINGED?? SO- SORRY LMAO?
characters: Rin, Sae, Kaiser, Otoya, Reo
wc: about 300ish each
warnings: nb reader, cursing, randomness + cringe lmao😭
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ITOSHI RIN
Well tbh, y’all probably had to have been friends for a loooong time for him to ever considering dating you 😭😭
So Rin had a good understanding of your personality, as you had known each other pretty much since the beginning of time.
He never understood how your personality went from 0 to 1000 whenever you two are alone. 
He prob thinks ur on drugs tbh
He’ll be your voice for you if you can’t seem to communicate with strangers, though he might not be the friendliest no shit.
he thinks it’s dumb that you’re shy tbh
He’s small minded about these things okay 😭
He never ever will get used to your bursts of crazy energy.
he swears he’ll turn around and you’ll have a horse mask on with a tutu around your waist
ITOSHI SAE
lmao you give him terrible whiplash.
He too, also thinks you’re on drugs.
You and Sae would like be at the airport on the way to Japan, his manager would be going over the details and precautions for going to Japan (yk fans and press or whatever etc etc).
His manager looked over to you and asked if you were alright, since you literally hadn’t spoken a word since he introduced himself a two hours ago. 
You nodded and followed Sae and his manager onto the private jet(cus he’s rich-rich😌🤭)
Once y’all were settled, his manager closed you and Sae’s cabin door. 
Sae looked over to see if you were alright, since traveling and yadda yadda can be overwhelming.
You were fucking giggling like an underwater hyena (that’s a thing I bc I fucking said so bitch).
You grabbed his hands and pulled back and forth giggling about how stoked you were rn.
LMAO HE WAS TOTALLY LOOKING AT U LIKE THIS
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KAISER MICHEAL
lmao he was disturbed at first 💀
like “wtf happens to my shy, sweet, s/o??”
He’ll like be getting a glass of water at night and in the corner of his eye, you hold a flashlight at your face with a blanket wrapped around you. Staring into his soul, inches behind singing.
“hello darkness my old frienddd~”
He just blinked at you for a while. 
“Y/N what the fuck is wrong with you.”
ANYWHOOO!
He thinks it’s funny af though
Like how nervous you get around his teammates and then when y’all are home you start cartwheeling.
You sure keep his life ✨spontaneous✨
OTOYA EITA
LMAO A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
YOUR RANDOM AF.
HES RANDOM AF.
= SOULMATES
he thinks it’s so cute how shy you are
He loves that bc ur shy around strangers you cling/stay close to him. He feels so sigma male bc he’s ’protecting’ you🐺🐺🔊🔊🗣️🗣️😏😏
Someone humble him please.
LMAO HE’LL GO LIKE:
“Babe watch this😏” and ninja pose really fast LIKE A LITTLE KID DABBING
And you’ll be like:
“Nah watch this😌” *does the worm*
Y’all T-pose at pidgend together 💕 #couplegoals
MIKAGE REO
LMAO HE’LL BE DAYDREAMING AND LIKE-
“My dearest Y/N! Oh they’re such an angel! They’re so pretty and kind and perfect! And amazing- is that them in a dinosaur inflatable doing the WAP in 6 inch heels?”
lmao kinda how it goes
He never really gets used to the switch up.
It makes him so happy that you feel comfortable to be yourself around him, even if that means painting yourself pink and putting googly-eyes on while blasting the Peppa Pig intro💗
He loves hearing people talk about you too.
“Oh y/n is really shy, but they’re nice I guess?” Like hah okay..
Pretty sure they weren’t crab walking in a tuxedo with a kazoo in their mouth playing Sinfonia N°9 Coral in D Minor, Op. 125: 1. Allegro ma non troppo, un poco maestoso by Beethoven 🙄🙄
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LMAO I HAD NO IDEA WERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS. I WAS LIKE “wtf am I gonna do😦”
made April 21st 2024
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