#she now wishes to be called Princess Sparkle Explosion which i am very happy about (pse for short)

[roombagreyjoy]

I think I’m going crazy because I got to thinking about how during the pandemic we literally had people teaching us how to wash our fucking hands (like celebrities doing TikTok videos washing their hands wtf) because apparently some people didn’t know how to fucking wash their hands and it got me remembering about how you’re literally taught how to wash your hands as a kid like even in elementary school and preschool. They would even show you videos like there would actually be children TV shows about taking care of yourself and they would have this silly little song about washing your hands and brushing your teeth and I asked the venerable Three Year Old whether they had TV shows that taught them to brush their teeth and wash their hands and she said she didn’t know… which is like ok fair enough because you are literally only three years of age and you don’t really have object permanence or anything (not true btw) but I genuinely cannot remember if they teach stuff like this in Bluey or whatever the fuck. Do they teach this stuff in Spongebob I can’t remember. I’m going insane.

[talesofphantombandits]

Zero to Six ~ Chapter Eleven.

CSorry, this feels really lame but I tried my best, then I was about to upload it when tumblr went down.

Here’s chapter Eleven though! enjoy <3 

Again, let me know if you want to be tagged.

Warnings: Swearing.

tags: @i-am-sarah​ , @whothefuckstolemykeds​ , @drowsyrrog​ , @culturefiendtrashqueen​ , @rogue-barnes-16--main-account​–main-account , @alliwantfromyouistomakelovetome, @valerie-weasley​ , @sueeatstheworld​ , @bleona2808​ , @pippin248​ , @myfatbottomedgirls​ , @httpfandxms​ , @cooliosmosh​ , @speckles-s​ , @walking-disgrace​ , @itsmeaudrieee​ , @fight-the-freaking-fairies​ , @irrelevant-pumpkin​ , @captain-sparkles-who​ , @podcasts-8-my-heart , @foulvintagenature​ , @imjustboredso​ , @loophoria​

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“So Billy eh, I mean it’s cute but it’s a little common.”

We were driving through a forest, Four in the driving seat with Five in the passenger seat. I was sat in the back in the middle, leaning against the seat with my tinted blue sunglasses on.

Four just scoffed.

“Well we can’t all be like you, miss my names unique.”

Five turned in her seat to smirk at me.

I looked from Five to the rear view mirror to find Four staring at me, I just smiled and raised my eyebrows. “Well I didn’t have a choice in picking it did I?”

“Well Neither did I with mine, sweetheart.”

I leaned forward, putting my hands on his shoulders. I was essentially back hugging his seat.

I leaned into his ear and whispered. “I love when you call me that.”

He peered over his shoulder at me as I sunk back, biting my lip.

He just shifted uncomfortably in his seat, double taking at Five who gave him a shocked but stern look.

“Hey you don’t have to tell me. She’s the one riling me up!” Billy defended.

“Let’s just get this over and done with, no distractions please Zero.” She looked at me pointedly.

“Sure.” I said with a smirk, catching Billy’s eye in the mirror again.

We got to the location about an hour later, parking 30 minutes out as to not cause suspicion.

We kept low in the brush when we finally reached the communications disc on top of Turgistan Mountains.

Guards where just at the top of the base but that wouldn’t be a problem.

“Hey, you afraid?” Five said breathlessly as Four got the wire cutters out of the bag.

He just looked at her with an unreadable expression and cut the chain. She looked to me, I just sighed giving her my best smile.

I managed to hack the cameras getting the screens up while also being in a position where I could keep an eye on the guards. Four had already started his acsent up the big disc.

In and out with no disasters, just how I like it.

On the way back Five decided to get in the back seat while I was packing the gear in the trunk.

Which meant was was sitting shotgun, about 10 minutes into our journey back she’d fallen asleep.

Four coughed shuffling in his seat. “You okay?” He grabbed my hand from my lap with his free hand.

“I’m fine, what about you.” He interlocked our fingers and rested them back on my lap.

“Am good just a little nervous. Listen about us? What are we.”

I stared at him. Why was he doing this now.

“I like you Billy.” I laughed. “Dam I’ve liked you from the first insult you threw at me.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Crazy I know.”

Now was his turn to chuckle. “But?”

“I think we should finish what we started here first.” I raised our hands so I could lean my chin on them. “We never know how a mission is going to go, we’re nearly there though.”

I kissed his knuckles and he just sadly smiled at me.

“I guess you’re right. But as soon as this is over and we both come out of it alive. Which we will! I’m taking you on the best date you’ve ever been on. And if you’re lucky at the end.” He leaned in to me trying to be all seductive.

“I’ll give you that decking you’ve been asking for.”

I let go of his hand scoffing. “You’re such a cocky little shit.”

He just give me puppy dog eyes, to which I rolled mine and interlocked our hands together again.

“Happy now?”

He just deeply hummed at me and kissed my cheek.

I smiled at him, deciding I too would nap. We had along way to go.

Finally the day of the dead came, I just hope all the preparations where going to be worth it.

“And this is yours.” I looked up from where I was sitting to see Two holding up a very expensive looking green velvet dress.

“Oh shit, it’s gorgeous.”

“Fours going to die when he see’s you.”

“I think everyone will be too focused on the mission to care what’s on my body.” She just shrugged in agreement then left to get changed herself.

I just looked at the dress, sighing before changing and doing a natural but darker makeup.

Our first job was to accompany the same man, one woman on each arm. I stayed quiet while I examined the scene and let Two do the wooing.

He pulled me in by my waist, it took all the strength in me to not show how uncomfortable it was. I just started a conversation about how beautiful the boat was.

Hoping to god the guys would get here fast so we could get this show on the road. Luckily Two was here with me.

Suddenly a load explosion came from across the water, everyone stood shocked while me and Two just looked at each other. A faint smirk came across her features.

Everyone started running in a panic, we just stayed where we were. Calmly we made our way deeper into the boat.

We finally made it into the control room, as Two delt with the guard I started messing with the controls.

“Side doors open.” I mumbled flicking the final switch. God I hope Billy gets on board safely.

“Coms cut, we’re good.” I let out a sigh of relief at his voice coming through my ears.

We climbed back up going to meet the rest of the team, when Two opened the door she was met with a gun in her face curtesy of Seven.

“Bonjour.”

A round of heys and we were back on track.

“Hey Papi, don’t you ladies look nice.” Three came hobbling out of another door, winking at us.

I just stood there awkwardly while One and Three started having a little tiff.

“Children please, god and you have a go at me and Four for starting things.”

“Because that’s awkward.”

“What and this childish bickering isn’t?”

“I hate that she gets sassy and more sarcastic everyday.” Three groaned.

“Yeah I wonder where she learns it from.” One looked between Two and Three.

Two just raised her hands in a ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ position.

One stormed away.

I pointed between Two and Three. “Best adopted parents ever.”

We all followed One out.

Following Two again we made our way to the kitchen area, champagne glasses in hand this was where the acting classes would kick in.

Putting on our best drunken ‘am a lost guest’ act, I surveyed the area and found the back door to Rovach’s suite, radioing the information to the others.

I looked around to make sure the space was clear enough before I learnt against the wood, Two was about to take the men down that were surrounding Three and honestly I was excited for the show.

I’d heard and see little bits of how amazingly skilled this woman was, obviously watching now I was kind of wishing her skills were in something a little less violent.

She walked up to me to check I was okay.

“Why don’t I have a gun? I think I need a gun.”

They both just started laughing at me.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Am not giving you a gun Princess, I know you’re probably fully capable. But! I’m definitely not giving you a firearm until we’ve fully tested you back at base.” Three lectured me.

“So how exactly am I supposed to protect myself?”

Three looked around and found a metal pole from god knows where. “Here, use this.”

I just stared at him, mouth open. “What. Am I the all powerful Rey now?”

“Hey don’t mock Rey! She’s amazing in Star Wars, plus she really knows what she’s doing with that stick.”

I just tilted my head and squinted at The tall dark dumb idiot.

“Enough with the movie references!” Two shouted, dragging Three away.

“Guess it’s just you and me now.” I looked down at the metal pole and prayed for the best.

Chapter Twelve