#i am having a conversation about dinosaur stuffed animals with a guy just because he Super Liked me

[tyranno-solei-rex]

i hate scrolling dating apps i hate all the people who live here i hate conservative white men i hate liking profiles i hate matching with people i hate texting men i hate keeping conversations going with them i hate meeting people i hate going on dates i hate-

[starlocked01]

Nothing but the Truth

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: The twins throw a sleepover and everyone gets more revelations than they bargained for.

Content Warning: Anxiety, mentions of eating non-food items

Day 15 pre-Dukexiety/ pre-Rosleep/background Loceit- It is impossible to lie to your Soulmate

Virgil couldn’t stop tapping his foot as he watched mailboxes and telephone poles flash by the car door window. There were about one million things that could go wrong tonight and he was trapped thinking through every single one of them. Roman was his bestest friend in all of the second grade, and he didn't mind hanging out with Roman’s twin brother Remus or their friend Patton, but a sleepover? Away from his safe bed where dad checked the closet for monsters every night and left the hall light on to prevent vampires from sneaking in to bite him? Virgil almost wanted to ask dad to turn around now, but then he worried that Remus would find out and call him a baby.

Virgil was no baby. And he certainly couldn't let Remus know he was scared.

They pulled into the driveway and Virgil very bravely grabbed his purple spider backpack and favorite pillow and climbed out of the car. He took dad's hand and they walked up to the front door together.

"Go ahead and ring the bell, Virge," dad smiled at him and pointed to the doorbell. Virgil had to stand on tiptoes but he managed to hit the button. He jumped at the loud bell tone from inside the house and the subsequent scrabbling of running feet and a dog barking.

He'd forgotten all about their dog.

The inner door swung open to reveal Roman standing there with a huge grin on his face. Virgil could see the missing tooth that had "fallen out" earlier that week.

"DAD! VIRGIL’S HERE!" Roman shouted back into the house. Suddenly a dog nearly as big as Virgil came running up to the door, pulling Remus along with him. Virgil was very happy there was still a screen between them.

"Damn it, Nagini!" Remus swore, trying to hold the dog back, "Roro, help me!" Roman jumped to grab her collar as well and they both tried to pull her from the door.

"Virgil, if you pick up any swearing from Remus we're going to have to have a serious talk about your choice in friends," dad reprimanded as Roman and Remus' dad came into view.

"Logan! I'm so glad Virgil could come over tonight. Roman would not stop begging for a sleepover," their dad said with a smile, taking Nagini's collar from the twins and easily holding her back from the door, "please come in."

"Thank you, Janus. He needed more convincing than I did," Logan smiled at the other dad, ushering Virgil inside.

"The twins have been such devils lately," Janus sighed, "you're so lucky that Virgil is so calm."

Logan chuckled, "we have our fair share of quirks, I assure you. Kids, go ahead and go play. Your father and I are just going to talk for a bit."

Virgil looked up curiously, "Dad, why is your face so red?"

Logan flushed all the harder at the question and glanced at Janus, "because we're going to talk for a little bit. Don't worry about me. Go have fun, my little warrior."

Virgil smiled and ran off to the playroom with Roman and Remus.

"Nice save," Janus smirked.

"I wouldn't lie to my son even if you weren't in earshot," Logan quipped back.

"Virgil!! We're gonna have so much fun tonight!" Roman bounced excitedly, holding onto Virgil’s sleeve.

"Yeah! We're gonna make zombie slime that's gonna taste like braaaaains!" Remus grinned and rubbed his hands together like a movie villain. The twins were nearly identical except for the bright streak of silver hair Remus had and remarkably different personalities.

Virgil was decidedly less excited than the twins, convinced that touching zombie slime would turn him into the walking dead. He didn't want to know what brains taste like.

"When's Pat gonna get here?" Virgil asked with a half-smile.

"Oooh does Virgie have a crush?" Remus cackled.

"No! I do not have a crush on Patton!" Virgil pouted.

"Yeah, Remus, Virgil doesn't have a crush like you do," Roman stuck out his tongue and ran away as Remus tried to tackle him.

"Shut Up, Dirtbag!" Remus' tackle missed and he crashed into the toy box sending toys crashing all over the room.

"Are you boys okay in there?" Janus called from the other room.

"Yes," Virgil and Roman both called back in unison

"No," came Remus' muffled voice. The other two walked over to pull him out of the box as Logan and Janus both walked into the room.

"Christ! Look at this mess. Remus, what's broken?" Janus bent down to his son.

Remus sniffed, "my heart."

Roman took a not-very-discreet step backward and Virgil went to hug his dad's legs. He didn't mean to hurt Remus and he was sure it was his fault and he'd be sent away to never see his friends again.

Janus sighed and offered Remus a hug which the boy gladly accepted, "what happened?"

"Ro is teasing me," Remus mumbled, "but I'm okay! Don't send Virgil and Patton home just because I'm a baby!"

"Okay, no. You are not a baby for feeling hurt when someone is mean to you. Roman? Why were you teasing your brother?" Janus pinned Roman in the middle of his escape with a piercing stare.

"Ahm…. No reason," Roman lied.

"Roman…"

"He was teasing Virgil. I'm sorry please don't make Virgil leave," Roman blinked back tears.

Janus pinched the bridge of his nose, "none of this explains how Remus ended up in the toy box."

Virgil tugged on his dad's sleeve, "dad, are we gonna have to leave if we can't play nice?"

Logan shared a look with Janus then turned back to Virgil, "no, we are not leaving. You all have been planning this party for months and have worked hard to be well behaved. I don't think one little fight is going to negate that." Virgil nodded slowly.

"Daddy, my shoulder hurts," Remus whimpered.

"Alright, Roman, five minutes in the time out chair. Please consider why it is not fair to Remus or Virgil to tease each other. I'll be back when your five minutes are up. Remus, let's go get some ice and talk about why it's not nice to make fun of your friends. Logan, I am so sorry. You see what I have to deal with?" Janus chuckled helplessly, picking Remus up with a grunt as Roman sulked over to a chair in the corner. The doorbell rang and Roman swiveled around to jump up and get the door. "No! You're in time out! That must be Emile with Patton. Can you get the door, dear?"

Logan blushed and nodded, grabbing Virgil’s hand to walk back out to the front door. They opened the door to find Patton and his older brother standing there with a very frazzled looking father.

"Oh, Logan! I thought that was your car! How are you doing?" Emile gave him a weary smile.

"The usual. Virgil’s a little handful but nothing we can't work out together. How are you and the boys?"

Emile groaned as Logan ushered them in. Virgil waved at Patton who waved back excitedly. He was already wearing a dinosaur onesie even though bedtime was hours away. The adults talked in hushed whispers in the foyer that Virgil couldn’t understand.

"Hi, Virge! Where's Remus and Roman?" Patton asked Virgil quietly.

"Uh.. in trouble.." Virgil muttered.

"What?? How?" Patton looked crestfallen, "is their dad gonna send us home?"

"No, definitely not," Virgil smiled at Patton, "it was just a little argument."

"God, you babies are boring!" Patton's older brother Remy scoffed. He was in 3rd grade so Virgil figured he must know what he's talking about.

Janus and Remus emerged from the kitchen with the young boy holding an ice pack to his shoulder. Janus pushed Remus towards the kids standing in the hall and joined the other adults in conversation.

"Don't worry, V. I'm okay and Dad promised you guys can stay! Hi Pattycake! Hi Name Theif!" Remus grinned, the pain and embarrassment were already forgotten.

Remy rolled his eyes, "I'm older than you, twerp."

"Remy, be nice to my friends!" Patton whined.

"Why should I be?"

"Thank you again, Janus. We really owe you one this time. I'll go get his stuff from the car. You'd think with three adults in the house we wouldn't have scheduling issues like this," Emile quickly jogged back out to his car, bringing back two sets of sleepover equipment.

"Fudge! Dad's leaving me here too!" Remy groaned. Virgil was a bit intimidated but refused to show it.

"Alright let's go get Roman so your fathers can get on with their lives," Janus corralled the kids back to the playroom, winking at Logan as he and Emile left.

Roman immediately bounced up from the chair as soon as the others returned. He rushed over to Remus and wrapped him in a hug, "I'm sorry!"

Remus grinned, "'s okay!" he hugged Roman back tightly and Janus sighed a small sigh of relief.

"Okay, children, ground rules. One, if anything breaks or anyone gets injured you get me immediately. Two, and this is mostly for you, Remus, no eating anything that isn't food-" Remus grumbled at this but nodded, handing his dad the half-melted ice pack "-lovely. And finally three, bedtime is non-negotiable. You have to be quiet after bedtime. Other than that, just don't maim or mock each other and tonight will go just fine," Janus gave the children a sly grin and left the room.

"Ugh! Why am I stuck with you babies?" Remy moaned.

"We're not babies, Rem!" Patton huffed, "you're not that much older than us."

"Besides, babies don't get to play with slime!" Remus grinned, running over to a supply cabinet filled with crafts.

"Wow. I'm so not impressed," Remy made a confused face but shook it off, "why play with slime when we can play a grown-up game?"

"Grown-up game?" Virgil asked quietly.

"I don't trust it. It's bound to be something boring like taxes!" Roman pouted, kicking a stuffed animal.

"Let's play Truth or Dare," Remy smirked as the others looked at him with confused stares.

"How do ya play that?" Remus asked, intrigued.

"Can't we do something else like color?" Patton asked hopefully.

Remy rolled his head from shoulder to shoulder, cracking his neck audibly, "listen up, we're playing and I'm only going over the rules once. We all sit in a circle and take turns choosing someone to ask 'truth or dare?' and that person has to choose whether to answer a question truthfully or accept a challenge that they can't back outta. Once they pick, the person who asked them picks a question or challenge. Got it, babes?" the others all nodded solemnly, "perfect. Maybe this won't be a wasted night yet."

They all gathered in a circle in the middle of the room. Remus was clutching a stuffed squid and Virgil was chewing on his nails.

"Oh! Oh! I wanna go first!" Roman bounced in his seat and made a show of studying everyone before landing on his choice, "Patton, truth or dare?"

"Ummm truth!" The boy squeaked.

"Alright, uhhhh do you like cats?" Roman asked accusingly.

"Yes!" Patton beamed, "but dad and papa say I'm allergic to them."

"Noooo you have to ask juicy questions!" Remy whined.

"Oh uh, Patton do you like juice?" Roman corrected.

Remy smacked his forehead as Patton cheerfully replied, "yeah I like juice too!"

"Let me show you how it's done. Virgil, truth or dare?" Remy stared him down with piercing eyes and everyone else turned to watch for Virgil’s response. He could feel his pulse rise with the fear of being put on the spot.

"Uh dare?" Virgil asked, pulling his hood up over his head.

"I dare you to go eat some glue!" Remy smirked.

"Ooh, yummy!" Remus grinned

"But wait-" Roman started.

"Mr. Prince said not to eat anything that isn't food. That's an illegal dare, Remy!" Patton interrupted in protest.

"Truth or Dare doesn't play by house rules. You gotta do it, Virgil, or you're a loser baby," Remy continued to smirk, nodding over to the supply cabinet.

Virgil stood with a gulp. He would not let any of them call him a loser or a baby. He walked over to the supply closet and grabbed a bottle of white glue. The label said non-toxic, but what if it glued his mouth shut and he could never talk or laugh again? What if it just sat in his stomach forever and captured all the brussel sprouts he hated eating so they never left? What if he-

"Just do it we don't have all night!" Remy bossed him from the circle. Virgil took a deep breath and squeezed some glue on his finger before quickly shoving the finger in his mouth. He wanted to gag because the texture was so awful but he swallowed as best he could and showed the others his clean finger.

"Wow Virgil, you're so brave!" Patton smiled at him.

"Humph! I do that at least three times a week!" Remus smacked his hand over his mouth.

"You told dad you stopped! Liar!" Roman accused him. Remy just laughed at the small pool of chaos he'd created.

"Okay my turn, Remus, truth or dare?" Patton asked, rocking back and forth on his seat on the floor.

"Truth!"

"Okay, do you like dogs?"

Remus gasped, "Nagini! I wanna go get her!"

"No, Remus! Dad probably put her outside so she doesn't eat Virgil," Roman rolled his eyes and Virgil added a new thing to his list to look out for in his nightmares.

"No! You have to ask questions that people won't want to answer. Like about crushes or secrets or stuff like that! What fun is it if the person wants to tell the truth?" Remy groaned.

"Sorry, Rem," Patton whimpered.

"Well, it's my turn. Remy, truth or dare?" Remus grinned at the older boy.

"Truth. Do your worst." Remy stared back cooly.

"Have ya ever pooped in the bath?" Remus' smile turned wicked and the others gasped while Remy sputtered.

"N- n- how- yes," he looked mortified and buried his face in his knees as the others laughed. Remy had tried so hard to lie and save face but couldn't, and not because of the social contract of the rules of the game. He physically could not force himself to lie. Which meant his own crush was a lot bigger deal than he wanted to admit and he'd just told his soulmate one of the most embarrassing things in his life. "Oh my gawd, just kill me now."

"It's okay Remy, I'm sure it's happened to almost everyone at some point," Virgil was still snickering and realized it was his turn, "Roman, truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Roman puffed his chest out in confidence.

"Okay.. I dare you to climb that bookshelf," Virgil pointed to the shelves in question.

Roman popped up from his seat on the floor, "easy!" he scurried up until he could touch the ceiling but paused, clinging to the shelves, "I think I'm stuck."

Remus jumped up, "don't worry, brother, I'll catch you! Jump!" Roman let go and fell back. Remus caught and promptly dropped Roman.

"Oops… Ro are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Remy, truth or dare?"

Remy weighed his options. He wouldn't be able to lie if the question was too embarrassing so he scowled, "dare."

"I dare you to go sneak ice cream bars from the freezer for everyone," Roman grinned, dusting himself off.

"Whatever, that's so lame and easy," Remy stood and started out the playroom door.

"You won't be saying that if dad catches you," Remus giggled.

"Okay if Remy's gone I think that means it's my turn," Patton chipped in, "Virgil, truth or dare?"

On one hand, Patton couldn't possibly ask him to do anything as dangerous as Remy had. On the other hand, Virgil was starting to feel sick and didn't want to get up, "truth…"

"Okay," Patton furrowed his eyebrows with concentration. He didn't want to ruin the game anymore with baby questions, "um, have you ever kissed someone?"

Virgil felt frozen in time. His mind flashed back to a spring day on the playground when he'd just wanted to know if he'd like kissing and what it was like and Roman had volunteered to let him try with him. They'd agreed to never speak of it again. He could see Roman blushing and Remus and Patton staring at him with anticipation. He had to lie to protect his best friend.

"Yes," Virgil smacked his hand to his mouth. That was absolutely not what he had intended to say. He could see Roman panicking now too. Oh no, did Roman hate him? Remus looked upset and Patton looked shocked. Neither had noticed Roman's face yet but Virgil could see the next logical question forming on Remus' lips.

"Who?"

Virgil turned away from the group and started to cry. He didn't want to answer because he didn't think his mouth would let him lie even if he tried. He felt a weird tug in his gut compelling him to tell the truth.

Wait. Did that mean that one of these boys was his soulmate?

"I think it was Elliott," Roman lied shakily. Virgil nodded, relieved of having to tell them himself and willing to go along with the lie. That meant his soulmate wasn’t Remy or Roman.

Remus crawled around to sit in front of Virgil, holding Sir Squiggles the stuffed Squid out to him, "Virgil, it'll be okay. I'm sure your soulmate will understand," Virgil took Sir Squiggles and nodded, not wanting to make eye contact with Remus. Sir Squiggles felt sticky and Virgil’s stomach was aching already. This was supposed to be a lot more fun.

"Ugh this is getting boring," Roman whined, "Remus, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Remus answered without thinking.

Roman got a wicked gleam in his eye, "I dare you to kiss your crush."

Remus glared at his brother and tried to say that he couldn’t because he wasn't in the house, but found that he couldn’t say that. He knew full well Virgil was sitting right in front of him but he couldn’t bring himself to lie and save himself.

Uh oh. That meant Patton or oh please be Virgil was his soulmate.

Remus knew there was no way out of it so he decided to come clean. As he knelt there in front of Virgil, who was looking at him expectantly, he grabbed the other boy’s hand and kissed his knuckles. Both of them blushed.

"That's cheating!" Roman protested.

Patton laughed, "you never said where to kiss. I say it counts," his laughter died down into giggles and he started singing, "Remus has a crush on Virgilll!"

"That's not fair!" Roman whined.

"What's not fair?" The adult voice from the door startled all of them.

Janus stood there with a guilty-looking Remy. The other boys froze in place, Remus subconsciously shifting to put himself between his dad and Virgil.

"Okay, better question, who tried to trick Remy into stealing ice cream?" Janus looked around at each of their faces with a hard glare. None of them could look him in the eye.

"It was a dare," Roman sniffed, knowing he was going to get in trouble for the second time that day, but unable to lie and make up a cover story.

"Am I that scary that my own children can't ask me for ice cream?" Janus pretended to be offended before pulling out ice cream bars from behind his back. Everyone jumped up to grab one and Remy broke into a grin, giving Janus a high five. "You are one talented little actor. You all keep playing nice, okay?" Everyone nodded as Janus turned and left the room again.

"Oh my goodness, did you get caught?" Patton asked in a hushed whisper.

Remy struggled for a second before answering, "no I just went and asked for ice cream," he sighed and shook his head, "that's it I'm done with truth or dare. It's no fun if you can't lie and fake people out."

Roman gave an offended gasp, "how dare you?! You're the one who suggested it!"

"Wait, you can't lie? That would mean…" Virgil trailed off. What a weird coincidence it would be if both he and Remy were in the presence of their soulmates. Unless… no…

"Not that I wanted to lie to you guys, but I felt it too," Roman interrupted Virgil’s thoughts.

"Samesies," Remus chuckled.

Patton looked down at his slippers, "aww that's nice for you guys."

"So… who is who's soulmate?" Remy looked between the brothers. He definitely had a preference but that's not how soulmates worked.

Remus stood and grabbed Virgil’s wrist, heart beating wildly in his chest. He pulled him out into the hallway towards the front doors away from the others.

"What are you doing?" Virgil asked.

"Testing. Ask me something I wouldn't want to answer." Remus stated with determination in his eyes.

"Uh, do you still sleep with Sir Squiggles in your bed?"

Remus' eyes flashed with fear, "yes because I'm a baby who's still scared of the dark."

Virgil smiled, "me too. And I would never tell anyone else that."

Remus giggled, "wow, somehow I don't even want to lie to you… and I can't… did you really kiss Elliott?"

"No…" Virgil looked down at the floor. Of course, his soulmate would ask the one thing he really didn't want to admit, "it was actually Roman. I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

Remus looked sad but nodded, "I did say that your soulmate would understand. And I meant it. I understand. I'll just have to prove I'm better than him!" Virgil snorted, trying to hold back giggles. He felt much better.

"Um guys, we're gonna make slime now," Patton interrupted from the hallway, "and Remy and Roman are pretty sure they're soulmates."

Remus' eyes gleamed, "slime!" He ran back to the room leaving the other two behind.

Virgil smiled, "hey Patton?"

"Yeah?" Patton looked up and quickly smiled.

"We're gonna be friends forever, right?" Virgil asked.

Patton's smile broadened into a genuinely happy expression, "of course!"

Virgil opened his arms as an invitation for a hug which Patton gladly accepted.

"Now let's go make slime!" Virgil grabbed Patton's hand to drag him back to the playroom.

That night, Virgil lay awake in his sleeping bag, staring at the ceiling. No one had checked the closet or left a light on, and even with all the fun they had, he was still feeling pretty scared in the dark.

Something soft, squishy, a little sticky, and covered in tentacles landed on his face. Virgil tried to muffle his startled yell and quickly discovered Sir Squiggles was the offending toy.

"Psssst Virgil," Remus' whisper came from the bottom bunk bed right next to Virgil’s sleeping bag.

"What?" Virgil whispered back.

"Are you too scared to sleep too?"

"Yeah," Virgil sat up and could look Remus in his eyes.

"Get up here, we'll protect each other."

"What will everyone else say?" Virgil hissed.

"Who cares? Please?" Remus smiled and Virgil nodded in the dark. He slid out of his sleeping bag and grabbed his pillow and Sir Squiggles before climbing in the bunk.

"What are you scared of?" Virgil whispered as Remus shifted to give him more room.

"Ninjas. They can hide in the dark and attack when you least expect," Remus' eyes went wide but Virgil smiled.

"I'll fight 'em. I know karate," Remus smiled and gave him a hug.

"What about you, Virge? What are you scared of?"

"The monsters in the closet," Virgil couldn't make eye contact but Remus smirked.

"I'm scarier than anything in there!" Remus boasted, voice trailing above a whisper.

"Shhhh"

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Thank you, Remus," Virgil smiled and snuggled under the covers. It had been a pretty great first sleepover after all.

Tag List: @tsshipmonth2020 @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit

[shark-el]

this fic was based off of a conversion I had with @born-at-3am​ about how Baz's first name (Tyrannus) sounds like a dinosaur name, and well lets just say I was really bored one day and decided to write this. this is the first fic I've written since middle school, and the first one I've ever published. Eh whatever I hope you guys enjoy and that its not to bad, but I wrote this for fun and I guess that's what matters right?? Any way here's my crack-fic.

link to the fic on AO3

summary: 

 Baz is tutoring Simon in magic words because Penny isn't there, and things go pretty much as you'd expect, aka a total disaster!

but Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures.

Tyrannusaurus-rex

Baz

We're in magic words class and I've been assigned to babysit Simon snow, a job usually reserved for Bunce but she's sick with some sort of highly infectious disease leaving her quarantine and bed ridden.

So of course I have the ‘absolute pleasure’ that is tutoring snow on his magic words homework.

We're sitting at his desk and it's awkward.

Even though we've been roommates for five years now, we never really talk. Unless it's to pick a fight, Which normally end up in me saying some witty retort or insult, and snow growls at me, his magic bubbling up to the suffice the like hot water in a tea kettle, then proceeds to storm out of the room slamming the door behind him.

I can see the visual discomfort and anger on his face at having to not only sit next to me but also at having me explain to him what to do. He's always had such an expressive (and beautiful) face.

“Listen snow i don't want to do this ether but let's just get it over with, and hope for Crowley's sake that Bunce gets well back soon”

“You're probably the one who made Penny sick in the first place, don't know how or why but definitely for some plot or somethin’ ”' he mutters under his breath, and I suppress a snort. That's another thing about Snow he always thinks I'm up to something, has for years now. Sure sometimes he's right, but normally it's all in his head, though I never confirm or deny it which always drives him mad.

Raising one eyebrow I say as sarcastically as possible “Yes snow i contracted some sort of diseases to get Bunce sick just so i can sit next to you, and teach you how to transform inanimate objects”

He just rolls his eyes at me. A clear since I've won yet again.

I just smirk at him  and take in the silence, letting his glare settle on me.

I pretend not to notice as i say “Anyway, Snow this is a simple spell, one not even you could possibly be able to mess up''

He just grimaces and continues glaring at me, I don't know how I'm supposed to survive two full hours of this, but ill make due.

We're supposed to transform a stuffed animal from one creature to another. I of course mastered this in the first five minutes, which is how I got myself into this miserable situation in the first place.

Snow decided to turn him into a dinosaur.

After about half an hour of working on emphasis and pronunciations for the spell, an infuriating process that involved repeating the words ``life err...finds a way” from Jurassic park, several times in many different ways. We moved on to the wand movement which he was holding all wrong, as always. I don't know how Bunce can deal with tutoring him all the time, he's just so useless (it's kind of endearing in a way, though I'd never admit it).

“No snow, don't be so harsh with it. it's more of a fluid motion, like this” and I demonstrate with my wand.

“Oh sod off, I tried that already it doesn't work” he says exasperated.

“Well try again” I say frustrated.

He begrudgingly tries again.

wrong, again.

He’s such a fumbling disaster I can't decide whether it's infuriating or adorable.

He's on his seventh try and I sort of just stare at him (because he's trying so hard, and it's cute, and I can't help myself. thankfully he doesn't notice), he just needs some direction maybe if I just?...

No, I can't. sitting next to him is bad enough. if I reach out and help direct him with my hand. I don't know if I'd be able to stop myself from doing something I'll regret.

I'm fantasizing about his warm hand holding mine, hands clasped together just slightly intertwined at the fingertips (because I'm a useless romantic and I can't help myself) when I'm struck back to reality with a bang.

Blinking twice I realize it's the sound of snow smashing his fist in anger on the desk, and I can tell he's about to go off by the feeling of hot thick magic beginning to flow everywhere around us.

“Calm down snow” I practically yell.

“I'm trying!” he shouts back.

I waver between wanting to help calm him down and egging him on, making him go off by saying something to make him even more frustrated, and this time with his full rage focused on me, maybe he'd be so mad he’d pin me to the wall and… (oh Crowley I'm disturbed).

I settle on letting him calm down on his own since me helping him calm down would probably put him even more on edge.

“Ok let's  take a break for a few minutes Snow, I need to go get some air” I say and take my leave.

As I walk through the corridor outside of class trying to clear my head, and realizing we weren't making any progress, so I decide maybe i should try a different approach to teaching him, (though it pains me) encouragement.

When I come back he’s mostly calmed down.

I sit next to him and I say in the most encouraging way I can “ok, are you ready to try again?”

“Yah I guess” he says exhausted, like he normally is after he almost goes off.

he holds out his wand again hands shaking, he’s worked himself up too much at this point.

“Snow I know you're trying but the spell won't work if your hand isn't stabile”

“I know, I know it's just…” he starts but doesn't continue, voice tired and faint.

“Do you want help?” I say softly, don't know why I asked that he'd never agree, but now it's too late to take it back.

He nods.

I don't know how to react, but I reach out my hand to help steady him (someone should probably help steady me at this point).

Simon

Baz is reaching out his hand, somewhere in the back of my mind I know he's doing it to help me, but my body reacts and panics before he can, since I'm not used to him actually helping me.

I stop thinking.

I'm watching myself spin toward him and chant the spell more clearly and precisely than I've done all day.

The next thing i know Baz is standing there in front of me, only its not Baz its a T-rex, about 2 feet tall with dark grey scales and pointy teeth, sort ’a like the plushie I imagined except alive (well as alive as a vampire dinosaur can be) and glaring at me with pure fury in his eyes.

At first I'm just surprised that it actually worked!

Then I want to apologize and tell him it was a reflex, and that I actually did want his help. when the full reality of the situation and how utterly absurd it is catches up with me then I'm doubled over on the floor laughing before I can stop myself.

I can't breathe, this is too much, I actually can't!

After about two or three minutes of me laughing hysterically on the floor clenching my stomach, tears streaming down my face, I take a deep breath.

I'm about to calm down when I realize something else that makes this entire situation a whole lot funnier.

“Baz you’re a Tyrannusaurus-rex!” I blurt out and that sends me into another fit of laughter.

I think I can faintly hear Baz say “Snow stop laughing, and try to find a way to turn me back!” in an angry and exasperated tone, which would have scared me shitless if the spell hadn't also made him sound like a plushie (or at least how you'd expect one to sound like).

But after a moment I am terrified because if I don't die of laughter, Baz will happily do the honors (though that's nothing new).

If you guys have gotten this far thank you so much, I will now reward you with a picture of Tyrannusaurus-rex:

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #462

i am way too tired to mentally flip through lyrics to put here, rip

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) I have zero idea. When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? The last time I visited Sara in Illinois. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? I think I got purple highlights? What was the first social media site you ever used? MySpace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? One. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Sara's house is lovely. Have you ever been catcalled? No. Are you allergic to any dogs? I might be. Have you ever touched a plant and had hives shoot up your arm? No. Do you think dragonflies are cool? Absolutely! What’s your favorite thing to draw? Meerkats!! Did you toss your hat in the air at graduation? Not high. I wanted to keep it. Do you like fudge? I CAN FUCKING DESTROY SOME FUDGE. Are you an affectionate person? Very. Name something you have to do today: Girt and I are hangin', making fun of bad Netflix anime and going to Buffalo Wild Wings. :^) Would you ever write to a death row inmate? No. People don't get on death row for no reason. I ain't got shit to say to them. Do you reckon online friendships are real? No fucking shit. Most of my most genuine friendships began online. Do you like Slipknot? Yep. Can we talk about how fuckin BADASS Corey's new mask is btw?????????? What do you think of Gorillaz? I like "Feel Good Inc." and one other song I can't remember the name of. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? BOTH!!!!! :') What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? GUYS I recently saw a picture of a little baby dressed up as a Little Oogie Boogie and it made my ovaries cry. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Jesus, Girt is a giant. I don't know about my shortest... If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you choose? Pastel pink. :') What has been the best night of your life so far? Why? Probably something sexual so let's keep it on the down low lmfaooo Would you ever even think about taking part in a wet t-shirt contest? Uh, no. Even if I WAS confident in my body. Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? No. It was dirty blonde. Have you ever been in trouble for being too loud? Ha, yeah, at school with friends. Not big trouble or anything, we were just hushed. Did you ever attend a wedding that was a complete disaster? No. What is something that you were surprised you were able to do? Hm. What is the most bullshit-sounding true fact that you know? Male cats have spiked penises lkasdjfal;kje;kjwr it's something to do with preventing other tomcats from mating with her. What Oreo flavor is your favorite? Gimme that Double Stuffed, friend. Sour gummy worms or plain gummy worms? SOUR. Ever been in a talent show? How many times? What did you do? Nope. Ever try out for the talent show and not make it? Did you cry? Nope. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried about? Y'all when I was a very little kid, during my older sister's b-day party, I sobbed because I couldn't pin the tail properly on the donkey lmaoooo How do you feel about the use of nuclear weapons? Absolutely fucking barbaric. What song has the most meaning to you? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus!!!! :') Have you ever made bread? No. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Pets, a baby I was watching after, and Jason. Ever been dominated in a game you were/are really good at? yep alskdjfla;jwej Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? Wild animal, I guess? Have you ever listened to a group of chanting monks? I haven't. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? Probably of Teddy. I've still yet to decide on the total design of his tribute tat I'm getting. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? I think so, yeah. How mad would you be if someone copied your original work (story, poem)? I'd be pretty fuckin pissed. Have you ever blown something up in science class? Ha, no. Have you ever gotten a serious wound from shaving? Not serious, no. Have you invented anything, only to find out it actually exists? I feel like I have? Ever realize you never truly LOVED your first love? Absolutely not. I loved him. Would you want a Bachelor/Bachelorette party before you get married? Sure, sounds fun. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? As of very recently, I returned to using pads. I used tampons for most of my maturity, but I got annoyed with them for TMI reasons and resorted back to pads, even though I don't like them either. Have you ever dated a model? No. What is your ultimate goal in life? To die happy with my life and what I (hopefully) accomplished. What colour are the socks you’re wearing today? I’m not wearing any. Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? Girt. It was something regarding how I once considered doing the suicide mission at BWW where you eat a select number of their hottest wings, but I didn't wanna die via chicken. :^) Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? I'm average in height. I wouldn't change it, nah. Especially now that Girt and I are together the ridiculous height difference is hilarious but also cute lmao. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Like, while I was there? No. Have you ever had casual sex? Nahhhh. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Chocolate. @_@ When you think of your childhood, are the memories mostly happy or sad? Mostly happy, I guess. What is it like being you? Is it enjoyable? It's very boring with few sources of joy. What are your thoughts on the cause of homosexuality? I would *assume* it's a genetic mutation. Reason being, having a romantic partnership without the ability to reproduce defies the motives of science. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, wrong with said (and hypothetical) genetic mutation, though. Mutations are just another part of science. They occur naturally. What subjects did you find most interesting in school? Least? Most interesting: literature/English (especially reading like, old mythology and epics and stuff like that), LOTS of branches of science (but primarily genetics), art, and I looooved my four semesters of German. Least: ANY and ALL math, history, economics, social studies... that kind of stuff. Which do you enjoy more–hot or cold beverages? Cold, for sure. What were some of your favorite bands from childhood? Green Day was one. Would you be more afraid of drowning or being buried alive? Buried alive, for sure. It would be much, much slower. Should you really be doing something more productive right now? Well, I SHOULD be sleeping. Today's going to be a long day, because when Girt comes over, he has a tendency to not leave until like fuckin midnight or later alksdjfl;waje Have you ever lived out of your car? No. Does your family own more than two houses? HUNNY we r poor. A relative just committed a very serious crime, do you turn them in? It depends on the exact crime, but odds are, yes. If you're endangering others, byyyyeeee. You’re in the woods, alone, at night…are you honestly not afraid? Bitch I'm terrified. I have zero survival skills. You are on life support, what would you want a loved one to do about it? For the love of god, please kill me. Your child has only a while to live, do you still enroll them in school? That would be up to them. Also, define "a while." How would you feel if you met your idol and they ended up being rude? WELP I have a tattoo in his honor so that would suck ass lmao According to the tale, was Eve wrong for eating and sharing the apple? "God was wrong for even setting up an apple tree and making up rules in the first place." <<<< There ya go. And the punishment was fucking ludicrously extreme. Are you working on any goals? Yes. I'm currently going to the gym regularly to try and better my physical health and then find a job. I know that being connected sounds odd, but trust me: I can barely carry out very simple tasks just because I have absolutely ZERO stamina to do almost anything. I need energy and endurance. I'm also working towards developing some self-love. Which parent named you? I wanna say my mom. Are you currently frustrated with someone? I mean, myself. Aforementioned self-love is hard. I'm just annoyed my head is so reluctant to accept that I'm not a piece of shit for a million reasons. Why have most of your past relationships ended? They all ended for different reasons, really. Are you having any online conversations, currently? I'm not. What’s on your mind? I'm just tired and going back to bed real soon. Have you ever had an argument with a teacher? No.

[quackmyback]

Heads or Tails : chapter one

Will Byers x Fem!OC

Hi friends, I don't think anyone actually read chapter zero, besides myself ofc, so I decided to post Chapter One today like I said I would :)

MADMAX AND THAT ASS

Mason pulled herself from a restless sleep, blinking away the gunk layered across her pupils and trying to swat away the sun streaming through the window. Slowly, she sat up and messed with the knots in her hair and she watched Max peacefully snore with her blanket half on her and half on the floor.

"Max," Mason called to her sister in hopes of waking her from her dreams. "Max. Dude!" Mason threw a stuffed animal -- a small, kind of deflated elephant her dad had got her years ago -- and nailed Max right in the nose.

"What the hell, Mase?"

"Get up, we have a one-way ticket to hell in about fifteen minutes." Mason threw her blankets off her legs and headed over to her and Max's shared wardrobe -- picking out a simple outfit that she hoped wouldnt get her taunted on her first day at school.

The twins juxtaposed each other:  while Max wore her hair down, Mason tied it up with braids and and excessive use of hair clips, while Max liked baggy jeans and larger hoodies -- Mason preferred oddly patterned skirts with white shirts and denim jackets. Both girls only owned one pair of shoes: Max's were a red pair of converse they had found super cheap at a thrift store while Mason's were a weird off brand of keds that were fully white.

Mason walked out of the room, back to the bathroom, and shouted back to her sister, "and you better hurry your ass up, because I am not biking to school!"

"Whatever, dork!" Max slammed the door to their shared bedroom.

• ○ •

W

hen Billy parked the car, Max and Mason exited. Mason gazed around to see everyone staring at her new step-brothers ass and, while delighted it wasn't at her, her lip curled in disgust. She sped walked to catch up to her sister, who was slowly skating towards the Middle School across the parking lot.

"This is gonna be a total nightmare," Max scoffed glaring at everyone around them who dared to take a glance towards the Mayfield twins.

"Maybe" -- Mason shrugged -- "maybe not."

The girls continued their slow, torturous walk to school -- stopping at the front desk so that Mason could ask for their schedules. Assuming that their classes would be the same, Mason felt misery when she realized she would have to part from Max for art.

Max sighed, "Well, at least you dont have Drama with Mrs. Cockwit."

The girls looked at each other before their faces broke into smiles, Mason examined their schedules side by side once again. "Science," she said. "We should probably hurry and go find-"

"-That wont be a problem, Miss Mayfield." The twins turned suddenly to find a burly man behind them, the principal they assumed. Now, they're own personal tour guide. "I will be leading you to your first class, please the bell will ring shortly, so follow me."

They did, reluctantly, follow him to a wooden door where they could faintly hear the teacher teaching his wisdom to a class full of kid more likely than not to drop out of three years. They walked in, quickly as to avoid as much attention as possible. Though when Mason had looked up when passing the teachers desk, she realized that wasn't going to be easy.

"Ah, these must be our new students!" Mason's attention snapped to the teacher, she had realized on her schedule his name was Mr.Clarke.

"Indeed it is," the principal who had herded the two into the classroom confirmed,"All yours."

Mason rushed to follow Max to the back, yet they were stopped about as fast as Max could rolled her eyes.

"All right, hold up." Mr. Clark held put his hand to stop the two and smiled. "You dont get away that easy."

Mason barely muttered under her breath, not even enough for it to really reach her own ears. "One could hope."

Mr. Clark continued his introduction, as if the two girls weren't capable of saying their own names. Mason was more than capable of having a panic attack discretely, surely she could say her name to a classroom full of people. Wait a minute.

"Come on up, dont be shy. Dustin, drum roll." A kid in the front, who wore a hat and a dinosaur hoodie, closed his notebook and drummed his fingers against it. "Class," Mr. Clark began," please welcome, all the way from sunny California, the latest passengers to join us on our curiosity voyage, Mason and Maxine."

Mason swallowed and shuffled awkwardly, "Uh, I'm actually Mason and that's-"

"Max. Not Maxine," Max interrupted her sister, eager to sit down and hide away from the vulturous stares of the class.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. Um, all aboard, Max and Mason."

The twins hurried past him, finding empty seats in the near back of the class -- Mason scoring one near the window. She pulled her notebook from her backpack and pulled one of her many colorful pens from the side pockets -- the only happiness she ever was given was from those pens.

She sat there for a moment, staring at the blank page in front of her and barely hearing Mr. Clarke lecturing the class. Not surprisingly, she also barely notices Max's elbow slowly shoving Mason's notebook off the desk.

"Dude" -- Mason barely caught the book before it fell and furrowed her brows -- "what the hell?" She dropped her voice to a whisper in Hope's of not getting in trouble on her first day at school for Max's mischief.

"Those guys upfront keep staring at us," Max whispered through her hair. Mason's eyes flickered up and, lo and behold, the four boys were, indeed, staring at them. Well...

"They arent staring at us," Mason corrected, "they're staring at you. "

"Why?"

"How the hell should I know?" Max turned to face forward, playing with her hands after her sister said that. Mason sighed," Don't worry, I have an idea."

Max nodded, trusting her sister,"Okay."

With that, Mason grabbed the top of her blue pen with her teeth and popped it off. She wrote the first thing that came to mind in big letters.

• ○ •

Mason walked into the art room, it was lined with floor to ceiling windows and every wall was a different color. The room was fairly empty, Mason assumed it was because art was pushed onto students as much as sports or academics.

She sighed and took a seat by the window. Some one pulled the stool beside her out and sat down. Mason looked over to find one of the boys who were staring at her sister. He smiled, a small smile that didn't really reach his eyes. He looked like he had a lot on his mind, way too much to deal with for a small boy his age.

"Hi, uh, I'm Will."

Mason returned his smile, her hands were shaking; she buried them in the pockets of her jacket.

"I don't think I need to introduce myself." Mason looked down at the table, he had his sketchbook out and she didn't -- she anxious that she was supposed to already have it out. Did anyone else have it out? Her eyes danced around the room, avoiding Will's beautiful brown ones the whole time.

He noticed her behaviour, and it barely seemed unusual until he realized her leg was bouncing quickly and her bottom lip was pulled tight between her teeth. When she released it from its death grip, he could see the scabs forming across the sensitive skin.

"You'd be right," he laughed, hoping to calm her down,"Mason, yeah? That's a pretty cool name."

"It's a boy's name." Mason ducked down below the table to retrieve her sketchbook from her back pack.

"It can't be a boy's name." Mason looked at him for the first time since he sat down next to her. He smiled goofily, she saw that it reached his eyes this time. Her heart leaped. "How can it be a boy's name if it's your name?"

Mason's lips parted and her leg stopped bouncing for a second, but her hands had exited her pockets and were bending the bottom corner of her sketchbook. "Well, I think my parents wanted a boy."

"Well, I think my mom wanted a dog." He spun a lock of his hair around his finger, "She got the shedding and, I offered to play fetch with her, but she thought that was weird."

Will felt pride swell in his chest, a smile broke out across his face after a sweet snippet of laughter fell from her lips.

Mason let her laughter die into a small smile and she glanced at him, "Hey, I'll, uh, I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

Will glanced down at his sketch book anxiously, "O-Okay."

They grinned, exchanging books and looking through the other's masterpieces. Each other, carefully calculating their looks at each other to see the other's reaction towards their pride and joy.

• ○ •

"He seemed nice," Mason defended her new friend, despite Max's efforts to deter her away from him.

"No way, he's one of the creeps who stared at us." Max slammed her hand down onto the button and violently yanked the joystick.

"They were staring at you, and maybe they arent creeps maybe they just are curious about the new kids and are too scared to approach."

Max quickly diverted her attention from Dig Dug to Mason and back to Dig Dug before she died. "If that were true, they would've been looking at you too." Mason sighed loudly, laying her head against the side of the machine. "Now, dude, you're really killing my Dig Dug vibe."

"Whatever," Mason shover herself off the machine and turned to her sister, "I'm gonna get a soda, you want anything?"

"Grape and a snickers."

"Got it."

Mason walked away, her hands in her pockets jingling she change, she rubbed her fingers over the rough circles repeatedly to assure herself she had enough to pay for everything.

"What can I get for you," The guy behind the register asked. Mason's eyes dashed across the menu even though she already knew what she wanted.

"Uh, yeah, can I get a strawberry and a grapefruit fanta plus two snickers." She looked down at her pocket to pull out the change. "Oh, uh, please.m," Mason quickly added.

"No problem."

While she waited, Mason leaned against the counter and faced towards where Max was standing at the Dig Dug machine working her magic. Then, her eyes fell on the two boys from their science class."

"Oh, you've got to be shitting me."

As if they sensed her looking at them, the glanced behind them and their eyes widened -- busted.

"Position has been comprised! Fall out!" The curly haired boy shouted, Mason watched as they ran out the door. She sighed, shaking her head and turned towards the counter where the guy had set down her order.

"Thank you." She handed him the money and retreated back to Max. She sighed as she handed max her snickers and held onto the soda for when she finished the game she was playing.

"What's got your panties in a knot?" Max barely glanced at her, taking a giant bite of her snickers.

"Fuckin' creeps." Mason cracked the top of her strawberry soda and took a gulp.

[grs-the-neighborhood]

The Misfits Chapter 3: Niko Part 1

A Few Years Ago

A young boy is walking home from school, after another gruelling day of negativity from his peers. He always felt like he were when his brother, Serpent, his mother, his Uncle Dipper being there to protect him: it’s why he didn’t feel comfortable when he had to go get stuff for mom when she wasn’t around. He was looking at a shopping list that his mom gave him.

“Let’s see, eggs, bacon, a carton of milk, chocolate bars, and bread,” he said.

“AaaaHHhhhhnnghh!” He heard a scream.

“What the heck!” he thought.

He dash and follow the sound of the scream, he see the stairs heading to what appear to be an abandoned subway station. It was covered in dust, mud, and musk because it hasn’t been running ages ago. Yet life still occurred, vines growing on the walls, cockroaches, and rats hiding, and a voice of pain can be heard. He followed it until he sees a little girl with cyan hair lying there and crying in pain. The boy quickly dash toward her. He gets close and sees her hands covered in deep scratches, her right ankle having a gash._

_ “Are you okay?” he asks, hoping to get an answer only to hear the little girl crying.

The boy doesn’t know what to do, he gives her his hand and the girl grabs his hand and stands up, pulling out wet wipes. As he’s wiping her face he takes in her features: she’s younger than him due to her size, her skin was brown, she was wearing a purple skirt with a black stripe going horizontally in the middle. She looks like she’s been here for weeks and hasn’t been fed for some time.When he was wiping her face, his eyes are filled with shock. The girl’s face is covered in blood but the red and blue veins did not obscure because they were glowing and her eyes are a mixture of creepy purple and green.

“What’s your name?” he said. The girl tries to think, but all she can do is groan in pain from thinking too much. The boy calms her down my stroking her hair.

“Niko.”

Now

A 15 year old girl is sleeping until…..

**Beep-Beep-Beep!!! **

An annoying sound of her alarm clock wakes her up. After hitting  the snooze button with her red tail, she crawls out under her bed and yawn. She uses one of her hands to push her bang to look at the time. 6:00 AM. Her brother must have set the time for her. Her room is is filled with stuffed animals on the floor and crayons and papers scatter there as well. Photos of precious memories  (her 8th birthday, Christmas with her big brother and her mom, and her big brother’s 13th birthday) on the purple walls. She look at the note she saw on her front door. Her brother must have write it. Niko grab the paper and swallow it in her whole mouth. She give a big smile.

“Today is DA day!”

She cheer, then she tripped herself on the floor.

“Oof!”

Niko went to the bathroom to brush her teeth with a purple toothbrush that have her name on it. She look at the mirror and sees her reflection: She has reddish-brown skin, cyan and white colored hair style in a bob with bangs covering her eyes, a red dinosaur-like tail. Niko touch her head to see if she have her horns. To her relief, her horns are not here, because she fear people might call her a freak. She look at her hands. Sometime her hands are claws and sometime human hands. She gasp and saw her claws, she started to panic, she took a deep breath and concentrate on reversing her claws back to hands. And she did it.

_It is still you. _

Niko grab the clothes she is going to wear for school in her drawer and head straight to check if her mom is there. Niko see her mom, a redhead, getting ready to go to work by dressing herself up in a lumberjack attire and donning her axe.

“Mom, is Ethan awake?” Niko asked.

Wendy look at her. “Hmm? I’m not sure, Niko. Can you wake your brother up? I am heading out. Be back at 5. I’m going to stay at work a little late, so make sure you tell Ethan to make dinner tonight, okay?”

She makes sure Niko remember by writing it down on paper and giving it to her.

“Okay mom.”, she answers, putting on her headband. It is blue with a pink heart on it. She is dressed in a purple shirt, white pant, and pink-purple boots. The problem was it that she put her purple shirt backwards. Niko didn’t notice this but her mom did. Smiling, Wendy helps her shirt on right.

“Niko, you gotta pay attention when you put your shirt on.” Wendy playfully chides.

“Sorry.” Niko apologizes, looking down in shame. Wendy bought her into a hug, cheering up, she knows her daughter had low self-esteem issues.

“It’s alright, sweetie”, she soothes, giving her daughter a kiss on the head.

“Make sure you tell Ethan what I said, Niko!” she shouts as she leaves out the door.

“Okay, mom.” Niko responds, eating the paper in order to remember what to tell her brother.

She opened her door and she is in a room, her brother’s. The room is covered in Fall Out Boy posters and movie posters of his favorite genres, sci-fi, crime noir, and horror taped on the wall. He also has piles of DVD on the shelf. Right as she was getting near his bed, she stepped on one of his DVD’s. She picked up;  it read “No Country for Old Men” and she put it in the DVD shelf. She gets near the bed and sees her brother still sleeping, snoring like an old man. She walk toward him, stare at him for a moment.

“Brother get up, it is 7:30,” She whispers, but he doesn’t budge as he still snores.

She tries to wake him up again by pushing him, but it yields the same results. She puffs her cheeks realizing it’s become pointless to Ethan up. She tries to wake up Serpent.       

“Serpent.”, Niko whispered, nothing happened. “Serpent!!”, she whispered and slowly, a dark blue ooze started to seep out of Ethan’s back. Serpent woke up.

“What is it, Niko?”, he grumbled, his eyespots blinking slowly.

“Can you wake Ethan up? It’s time to go to school.”

“.....Ethan is going to be late, sis. I’m pretty sure you don’t know, but he had a night terror last night. He’s going through a lot of emotions right now and I think it would be better if you let him sleep.”, Serpent explains.

“I love you two. I hope you guys get the chance to become heroes.” she thought.

Flashback 

 Niko was reading a book and heard the sound of the door open. 

 “Ethan?” She called. 

She teleport and sees Ethan. She ran over and give him a hug, which oddly enough he didn’t return. 

“Did you make a big impression to the Vanguard League?”, she asks her brother in joy. 

But instead of seeing him in confidence, all she saw is depression, pain, and, especially, anger. He doesn’t say it, but she knows. She knows something horrible happened to Ethan. 

 “Ethan, what happen?”, she asks, worried for her brother. Ethan doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak for the first couple of minutes. He has his face down, so Niko can’t tell what he is feeling. He pulls a paper out of his back pocket and unfolds it. On top of the paper, it says on the top: 

Rejection 

 “I….I didn't make it,” he chokes. Tears are dripping down his face as he continues. 

“I didn’t understand why, but now....n-now, I do”. After that, he walks into his room and shuts the door.  Niko tilted her head in confusion, but saddened by the news.

 “I am so sorry,” she said, feeling sympathetic about how crushed her brother is..

On the Bus

As Niko got on the bus. She put her backpack on her seat and check the inside of her backpack to see if she have everything. Instead of unzipping her backpack she use her X-ray vision.  Inside her purple backpack. Math Homeworks in her Math Textbook (with help from Andrew Cunningham), her completed Biology Worksheet (with the help from Ethan) inside her Biology textbook, her lunch bag, overdue library book, a bunny pencil case, and agenda.

The bus start to move. Niko check her phone she got out of her pocket and see a text message from Ethan. 

 Ethan: Niko, why didn't you wake me up!

 Niko: 😟. I did, but Serpent said you have been emotionally stress. 

 Ethan:..... 

 Ethan: I am going to be late. 

 Niko: Ethan wait-

 *Ethan left the conversion*

 “Darn it,” she curses. 

Just then, the bus stop, Niko look at the window and see a girl outside sitting on a bench. Niko examine her: She have brown skin like her, and depending on her height, she is possibly a year younger than her. She have eye are yellow like a sunflower petal. Her red hair is in pigtails. Her attire are a salmon pink sailor uniform top with a sky blue ribbon, short salmon pink skirt and thigh-high heeled white boots. She is wearing goggle probably because it is sunny outside. As she get on the bus, she remove her goggle. Niko grab her backpack, put it on her shoulder and slide down in hoping that she can sit down with her. Hoping that Niko can make a friend.

“Excuse me, do you want to sit down with me?” Said Niko. The young girl look at her and thought for a moment. “Okay,”

“I am Mari Salazar, what is your name?” Said the red pigtail girl,

 “Niko Corduroy,” Niko reply. 

“I am fifteen years old, I am a raised in Townville and live with my mom and big brother, Ethan. I loves to draws and drink milk,” 

 Mari giggle, she never see anyone one so energetic. Niko tilted her head in confusion. She wonder if she said something funny so she ask. 

 “What is so funny?” she ask.

“Oh nothing, for the first time in my first week in residing in Townsville, I never see anyone too excited.” She explains. “People will be scare of me or surprise and try to be on my good side if I mention about my father.” she explain.

Niko bow her head. She shouldn't have said too much, how ever she start to talk again.

“Your father?” she ask.

“My father is Rex Salazar and he is one of the greatest heroes of all time, he secret weapon for Providence, a global organization dedicated to protecting the world from rampaging EVOs. EVO stands for Exponentially Variegated Organism. They are organism that has had its intracellular-nanites activated.

Niko smile because she never knew that Mari is a child of a hero. She wonder if she can introduce Ethan to her. Maybe he can be friends with her too. 

 “So why did move to Townsville?” she said.

 Mari blush a little. “Oh it is kind of personal but, I want to join The Vanguard League, so I can be a hero just like my dad, and one day work for Providence. However, I am not good at fighting, but I will try.” she answer.

 “The Vanguard League,” Niko thought.

 Niko remember the day, five months ago when Ethan is miserable because of his rejection from the Vanguard League. To make it worse, his friend, a member of The Vanguard League, Rénee wrote a letter to him that he can not join because of how dangerous Serpent was (even though to her, Serpent is a sweet and thoughtful person with an attitude) and also, the crimes that Ethan’s father did. She never met him and Ethan, her mom, and Uncle Dipper never talked to her about it. They might be the reason why he have night terrors last night and going through a lot of emotions right now. Niko tighten her fists.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” she said to Mari. “Even if they are nice and accept many super-powered teenage heroes, they will shatter your hope, one way or another through a background check or one simple mistake.”

Mari looks at her, she looked angry at the moment. She wants to know but she believes it’s best not ask. Mari thinks about the Vanguard League and then her family. She thinks of the black sheep that is all alone in the shadow of the sunshine, her family and their legacy. 

Lunch Break 

 As she return her library book and quickly ate her lunch, Niko head to the cafeteria, she hope that Mari is here eating her lunch. Niko starts thinking of conversations for another interaction with her when all of a sudden she accidently bump into someone. She realize it is Cayenne. Niko gulp in fear. She heard about Cayenne from her brother. Ethan doesn’t like Cayenne at all because of the constant insults she sends his way. 

“Hey! Watch where you are going!” she said. 

 “I am sorry,” she whispers.

Cayenne glare at Niko eye-to-eye, but Niko's bang hide her eyes.

“Why your bangs covering your eyes, you look like a mop. Can't you get a haircut? Or at least put your bang up?”

“No.” Niko whimper.

Cayenne lift her eyebrow for a moment. Did that student said no to her. 

 “What did you say?” Cayenne demand. 

 “I said no.” Niko answer quietly. 

 “Louder?” 

 “No!” Niko yell. 

 Feeling annoyed, Cayenne raise her hand that is close to Niko. “If you are not going to let me see your eyes, let me do it for you,” “

Are you… touching me?” she said in fear. 

 As Cayenne lift her bang up to get a glimpse of her eyes without answering her question, Niko start to scream. 

“AAAHHH!”

 The students stop what they are doing to see what happen. Cayenne back off and glare at Niko as she kneel on the floor shivering.

 “Do not touch me,” Niko said. “Why is this happening to me.” 

“Fine, whatever weirdo.” she call her as she walk away.  She start to mumbling words at Niko: “The only one you should blame for the situation you are in is yourself.” 

 Niko start to cry, she should have listen to her brother, but her meeting with her is unintentionally. Just then a she heard a male voice in a Irish accent. 

 “You are alright?” said the boy. Niko turn around and see Ryan, the emo and lone wolf of Townsville High. 

She blush slightly. She cannot believe it got worse, her crush is talking to her. Instead of Ryan lending Niko a hand he just stand there and lend against a wall. He brush his rusted red hair that falls over his right eye with his hand. 

 “I am not,” she said honestly. “Cayenne touched me.”

Ryan didn't show any sympathy and instead he coldly said to her: “Whatever, like I give a damn.” He said. 

 “But why did you ask that I am okay?” Niko ask in confusion. 

 “Why do you care!?” Ryan snapped.

 “Sorry.” said Niko and then look at the floor.

 Just then a strawberry blond haired girl wearing a bell-shaped blue dress shirt with a pink flower in the center appear and recording a video on her phone.

 “Story Time, it was clear that a romance was blossoming between them,” Ryan and Niko turn and see Vivian, still recording the cellphone.

 “Vivian! Cut that crap, we are not in love!” said Ryan angrily. “

Aw can't you at least give her a kiss?” Vivian tease.

“Why don't you confess your love to Cayenne as soon as I break your phone?” Ryan said as a threat and a tease. He put in fists together to show her his rage.

As a moment of silent occurs, Vivian start to run.

 “Get back here!” Ryan yell as he chase after her. 

 Niko’s cheek turn red as she is blushing when she heard the word, kiss. Just then Tamara Thunder come and see Niko lying on the floor. 

 “Niko, why are you on the floor?” she ask. Niko stand up and wipe her clothes. She look at Tamara and sadden. 

“I’m sorry, Tamara. I just had a moment.”, she said in a mixture of sadness and self-loathe. Tamara looks at her and gives her a consoling frown. 

 “Hey, how ‘bout your big sis take you to class?, she grins. Niko gives her a returning smile. 

“Thank you.”, she acknowledges. With the two girls walk to Niko’s classroom. When it comes to Ethan’s friends, Andrew and Tamara, they were basically Niko’s older siblings. Whether it was Andrew teaching her a little bit of martial arts or Tamara explaining to her how to be stand up for herself, she appreciates them. As Tamara take Niko to third period class she wave a goodbye.

Final Period: Biology

Niko sit on a black desk. She see a girl in front of her. She have wavy black hair, brown skin, and almond shaped black eyes. She is wearing a blue t-shirt and ankle-length jeans and shoes that are not fancy or athletic. She saw her reading a Biology Textbook. Niko look at her eraser labelled the name, Lauren Lee. Niko thought for a moment. Suddenly, her teacher come.

“Good Afternoon, class I hope you put your Biology worksheet on my desk,”

 Niko's eyes are widen, she quickly open up her textbook, and found her worksheet and hand it over to her teacher. Then, she sit down.

 “Thanks you, Niko. Where was I? Oh yes, we are going to start out anatomy unit. Let's start by dissecting fetal pigs. Everyone please find a partner to work with.” 

 As everyone gotten a partner, Niko just sit there and all alone hoping that someone will ask her. But sadly she did not, then her teacher glance at her with concern. Then she saw Lauren who is looking for anyone who don't have a partner also. Lauren has just been transferred to highschool level biology because of how outstanding her grades are in science that her classmates barely treated her equally, while Niko who need to have determination if she get the chance to graduate. So the teacher got a idea.

“Lauren is it okay for you to be with Niko?”

 Lauren Lee stare at Niko. Niko wave shyly and give a big smile in hope to show her that she is harmless. Lauren thought for a moment she look at anyone who haven't have a partner and then look at her the teacher. She sighed, feeling in defeat. 

 “Okay,” As the teacher left. 

Lauren tell Niko: “Since we are partners, you have to do exactly on what I am telling you.” 

 **************** 

 Niko sit down and watch as Lauren holding a sterile knife and cut sound the umbilical cord and in a “U” shape. Then, she cut the ribs and sternum with a bone cutters. She open up the chest cavity and look at it. Lauren ask her Niko to come to her. As Niko stand up to  go be with her. She could smell the fresh smell of a preserved dead piglet. She see the inside of the pig's organs. It look messy. Is this what butcher do. “Niko see this membrane,” said Lauren as she point at the thin membrane around the heart. 

“This membrane protect the heart. Write that down on your assignment sheet.” Niko obey her instruction and write it down. She keep standing there as Lauren continue to dissect the pig. Niko look at the clock and sighed. She never thought it would be boring. All she does is sit down while Lauren get the fetal pig, set up the dissection, and command Niko to write her notes.

 “Lauren can I-” 

 “No.” Lauren interrupts.

Niko puff her cheeks, this is boring. But that give her an idea. As Lauren make a longitudinal cut through the throat toward the mouth, she try to remove the skin under the chin without cutting it too deep. She almost got it until Niko poke one of her shoulders. She turns around.

 “Hey Lauren, look at me. Hee hee hee.” said Niko as she put two test tubes up her nostrils.

 Lauren stop what she is doing and see Niko fooling around. 

 “Niko! Put them out of your nose, are you trying to make a fool of yourself and slack off?” she snapped. Niko shun for a moment. She put them out of her nose and apologize.

“I am sorry, it is just that I want to help you, but I am bored. You are doing the work while I have to sit down and copy your sheet in my own words. That is not teamwork.” Niko explain and then puff her cheeks, to show her partner how unfair she is and bored. 

 Lauren glare at her.

“That is because I am very focus on getting good grades, unlike some people,” she said coldly.

 “I am not doing this for my parents, I am doing this for myself.” Niko glance at her.

 “Are you saying I am dumb?” she ask.

 “No, but you are slacking off.” Niko took a deep breath, she know that arguing isn't the answer, she need to act tough, just like her “sister”, Tamara taught her. 

"Okay, then and whose fault is it for me to slack off? It is the leader, and do you know who is the leader? YOU!”

 Lauren start to open her mouth, but then close it. She never see Niko so serious. She often see her drawing in class instead of listening to the lectures.

 “If you want to have a good grade on this assignment and I want to do something, tell me not to sit around and have me do something!” 

 Lauren look at her even though her bang is covering her eyes. Lauren can not tell if she is serious or not, but her posture and the tone prove that she is seriously. Plus, she is telling the truth, she have been doing the work for herself and Niko, which means:

“Fine,” Lauren said as she give the knife to Niko. “You will dissect the fetal pig, and do not worry, I will guide.” Niko smile, it work.

 “Thank you Tamara.” 

3:00 PM, outside of school:

 Niko wait for her brother to meet her so they can walk to school together. She wait, and wait, and wait until she feel like he is not coming. She grab her cell phone and send a text message to Ethan. 

 Me: Ethan where are you? I am waiting outside of school 😢.

Ethan: Niko I can not walk home with you. I am busy. Please take the bus.

 Me: Okay. Thank You. Oh I almost forgot. Mom is going to be back at 5 PM. So you have to make dinner. 

 Ethan: Niko, you should have texted me in the morning? Why didn't you say anything? Niko: Sorry I forgot. Ethan: Ok. What do you want for dinner? 

 Me: 🌮 

 Ethan: Fine. 

 Me: I love You! 

 Ethan: Love you too. 

 Niko smile at the text and hug her cellphone with all her heart, she is lucky to have a big brother like him. 

 She saw Mari on the bus stop, but she is not alone, she is with a young man. She could not tell what the young man look like because of her bangs. Niko decide to take a closer look. Without hesitation, she start to walk to the bus stop. To her surprise, suddenly out of nowhere, an object covered in dark energy hit her face. She is knocked out for half an hour and wakes up, rubbing her face and feeling her forehead. There was a knot where she got hit and just when her eyes started to water, the bus showed up. She walked in, waiting for the bus to take her home. She couldn't understand, why was she hated. 

 However, she is not alone two people are in the same bus as her and they are sitting behind her, a  young woman standing 5’ 10'’ have short magenta hair with an undercut, light green sclera and purple irises. She wear a shoulder black shirt tucked in loose light purple shorts and black combat boots. She also wear her golden choker sealed with a dark pink jewel, and two ear piercings, a golden hoop and dark pink stud to match. And next her is possibly her half brother, standing 5'2�� whose have pointy ears, green eyes. His hair is spiky and "greenish-blue" in color and he has an average complexion. His signature attire is a red hoodie, blue jeans, red high-top converse shoes, and fingerless gloves. His jeans is held together by a dark gray belt, and a buckle with his initials. 

 The young woman smack him in the head feeling piss for what he did. 

 “Nice going Edward,” she said. “You just made her cry. We're supposed to heroes undercover  and what did we do, knock out a girl.” she whisper as she look at Niko rubbing her eyes to stop tears from flowing in her eyes. She feels bad for what happen. The young man, Edward rub his head and look at her.

 “Relax, Sarina, we must not let Mari blow her cover,” said Edward. “This is our chance to infiltrate Claymore, a thief wanted for stealing in five countries, Jump City and now Townsville that the Young Blood Alliance recruited.”

 “She does not look dangerous!” Sarina exclaim to him as if she care more about the girl than the mission that Kingsley assigns them. “Plus, what if she just came to see Mari as a friend?” 

 Edward crossed his arm and glare at her. “Don't judge a book by it cover, she may look innocent, but I sense something dark within her. And you do too,” said Edward being serious about the mission.

 Edward Logan also known as The Changer, and Sarina Roth, children of  member of The Teen Titans, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire. They are affiliates of The Vanguard League recommended by Danielle Stone. They are task on a watching over Mari, a Vanguard Leaguard member-in-training  in hope she can complete her mission to find and capture the thief who is a human EVO. If this succeed, they will become official member of the Vanguard League.

 Edward Logan’s powers are different from his parents, Beast Boy and Raven. He may have telekinesis, but he have matter manipulation and thought projection. He know the basic moves of Martial Arts. 

 While his half sister, Sarina Roth inherit both her mom, Starfire and Raven's powers, Starbolts and Starwaves, Lazer eyes, Super Strength and flight is what she is most familiar with. She is attempting to learn Raven’s powers with slow progress. She is also very smart and uses this to analyze and critique problems and give solution to help people. 

 Sarina glance at Niko again, he might be right, but her psionic ability, empathy is eating her alive. She never seen anyone feeling self-loathing and facing hatred. This make Sarina feel like she want to explode. 

 “She’s just like me,” Sarina thought. “Being good without any benefits, and her still feeling like an outsider in the City of Townsville.” Sarina take a deep breath and let the air filled in her nostrils so that she won't let her powers unleash by her emotions. 

 Sarina look at the POW Card that Rénee, Vanguard League's Secretary of Knowledge gave to her. (Ever since Ken and Eiffel integrating Pow Card tech into the databases. It become very useful for them): 

 Name: Claymore Salazar

 Level: - 7 

 Species: Human EVO

 Alignment: Villain

 Powers: the creation of dimensional portals that can connect any two places, and possibly the past and future. 

Description:  He is a government project between the old hero, Rex Salazar and Breach, an unstable human EVO. He was suppose to be the next gen weapon for the Providence until his mom escaped from the government facility. After, being rejected from his father, he lives a life of thievery by using his power. 

 “We need to find him immediately, who know what have he been doing?” 

 At home:

Niko walks back into the apartment complex, reaching the 3rd floor and heads to door number 310, unlocking it with her key. She closes the door, locking it in the process; she goes to the kitchen and finds an ice pack  in the freezer and put it on her face. She plan to go to her room and try to find something to cover up her face so that her brother won't know, but then came trouble. As she heads to the living room, she sees her brother sitting on the couch. He turns his head, giving her an expression of worry. 

 “Niko, where were you?” Ethan said as if he have not see her for months. “It’s 4:45, mom and I have been worry about you, I wanted to search for you, but mom said to stay here in hope that you come home.” 

 “I was waiting for the bus,” Niko frown, sitting on the couch with him. Ethan look at her and saw Niko having an ice pack on her face. Ethan quickly push the ice pack away from her hand and to his eyes he saw a knot where she got hit. 

 “Who did this to you?” Ethan said as he put both of his arms around her shoulders, his face far from pleased.

 “I don't know,” she answer. 

 “What do you mean,” he said as he raise his voice. 

 “I..Ii.. I was walking to the bus stop to wait for the bus and I saw Mari. She was talking to someone and suddenly out of nowhere, an object covered in dark energy hitted my face.” She explain. 

 Ethan let out an inhumanly growl, what kind of person used their super powers to hurt innocent people, especially his sister? He didn't know who “Mari” is maybe she must be behind this.

 “Who is Mari?” Ethan ask another question. 

 “She is a friend I made today.” She said shyly. 

 At first Ethan is joy that Niko made a friend because she mostly go and eat her lunch alone and go to the library to read books or hang out with him and his friends, now she is growing up. But he need to know more about Mari.

 “What is her last name?” he ask the fourth question. “Salazar, why?” she answer the fourth time. 

 “I am just interesting because what if she did this.” He said. 

 Niko's eyes are widen, Mari would never do that. Niko met her in the morning and she was nice. Is her brother going to tell her to avoid her? 

 “I do not think so, she was talking to someone else, a young man. Probably her new friend from school or a brother when I went on to the bus stop.” She expresses in hesitance. 

 Ethan pause for a moment. Niko bows her head and give a sigh. 

 “I am sorry for making you have a heart attack….” She said. “I know you have been emotionally stress recently because of a night terrors, school, and- It won't happen again. I promise,” 

 Then, Niko rub her left arm with her right hand feeling less confident on her promise because she feel like she will break her promise, so she said her final sentences. 

 “I hope because I might forget one day…..”

 Ethan sadly smile and ruffled her hair. 

 “Don’t worry, sis. I’ll make sure you won’t.” 

Lauren Lee and Edward Logan belong to @shorty-tori

Ethan Corduroy, Andrew Cunningham, and Tamara Thunder belong @ej-cappy-universe

Sarina Roth belong @aj-thegreatest

Violet, Mari, and Claymore @hotsassbacon

Ryan, Vivian, Cayenne, and Rénee @princesscallyie

Niko Corduroy and Munchausen Young belong to me

[investigatingregionalscenes]

story about music #8

Winter-Spring, 2013: In order to graduate, I needed a capstone. I chose to do deep reporting project I’d been threatening to do since 2009, and looked into the noise and experimental scene of New England. I recorded seven interview with experimental artists about their lives and work. These are five of them. They were taken in a variety of locales in the Boston area: Cambridge, Somerville, Lowell, and Salem.

In the last year, I’ve been thinking a lot about this period and these conversations as I ask myself, why keep doing this?

above: Ron Lessard, as Emil Beaulieau, performs in someone’s basement in Worcester, Massachusetts.

Music

Music for this episode was created using the following household objects: a desk lamp, a can of beer, a record player, a radiator, and a vacuum cleaner.

With the exceptions of “Fog in the Ravine” by Lejsovka and Freund as well samples from their songs “From Royal Ave” and “Nothing, Just Looking at the Moon” and the song “Blue Line Homicide” by Twodeadsluts Onegoodfuck.

The soundtrack was created with advice from musician Jacob Rosati. It will be made available for download later in the summer. For more info please subscribe to the podcast, tumblr, or follow us on twitter.

Links

Crank Sturgeon still performs and tours regularly. He also builds contact microphones and other circuit bent sundries, one of which was used in the production of this episode. A full recording of his set used in this episode is available here.

Crank Sturgeon, 2012, from Wikimedia.

Shane Broderick spent most of his twenties making music with his friend Ted (and later, their friend Josh Hydeman) under the name Twodeadsluts Onegoodfuck. Their music is a good example of the subgenres Grindcore and Power Electronics. The name is also exemplary of those subgenres. The performance video which is referenced in the documentary, taken in the mid-00s, has been removed from Youtube. A video from that period is visible here, uploaded by the band��s Ted Sweeney. (contains nudity)

Shane Broderick, from Existence Establishment

Ron Lessard still runs RRRecords in Lowell, Massachusetts. He previously performed under the name Emil Beaulieau. A collection of performances, including the one used in the documentary, can be seen in the video compilation below. 

Emil Beaulieau: America’s Greatest Living Noise Artist, from Youtube

Andrea Pensado still makes music and performs live. She composes in Max/MSP. Her most recent release is a pair of live collaborations with Id M Theft Able. Her former project, with Greg Kowalski, is QFWFQ. 

Andrea Pensado live performance, 10-13-13, from Youtube

Angela Sawyer owned Weirdo Records until it closed in 2015. She now performs comedy and experimental music around Boston. 

Angela Sawyer, from her personal website.

The interview with Andrea Pensado was recorded along with my friend Samira, who was producing her own documentary of Boston’s experimental music scene, below. It includes footage from the Andrea interview as well as her own separate interview with Angela Sawyer. 

“The Noise” by Samira Winter, from Youtube

Luigi Russolo’s manifesto is The Art of Noises

Luigi Russolo and the Intonarumori, with his asst. Uglo Piatti, from Wikimedia

Transcript

Brendan: Would you mind telling me about the show at [withheld] , from six years ago, down the street?

Shane: Yeah, um, I was setting up a show with some old-school Detroit noise dudes. When we showed up, the owner was there instead of the doorman, and he was just upset cause he was there on, like, a Tuesday night. 

So what ended up happening was is, uhh, two bands played and he came up to me a said, “show’s over.” “Well there’s still two bands to play,” and he’s like, “I don’t care, the show’s over.” I’m like, “the show’s been booked for two months.” Just because you want to go home and, like, jerk off into a kleenex or whatever it is that you fuckin’ do. It has nothing to do with me. And he got upset, and I was like, well listen dude, how about the last two bands play at the exact same time.” So that’s what we did. Warmth and Twodeadsluts collaborated. It lasted about fifteen seconds, and the owner came over and kicked a table with everyone’s gear on it. So the only logical thing for me to do as a Bostonian–– and I have pride being a Bostonian–– is I just looked at this guy and I was like, “I don’t care how big he is, or how Italian he is, I’m gonna wind up, and I’m gonna punch this guy right in the fucking face.”

Brendan: And what happened?

Shane: That guy hit me back––I-I lost a little bit of time there. He’s a lot bigger than me. Uh, clocks went still. I kinda woke up, I was on the ground, and he was smashing everyone’s gear. Cops came in, they put me in a car, they, y’know told me to leave and blah blah blah.

Brendan: Is that the only time cops have been called on you?

Shane: No. Not even close.

music: “Blue Line Homicide” | Twodeadsluts Onegoodfuck

You’re listening to Stories About Music, a podcast on the subjects of music, journalism, and memories, and how the line between those three things is often not as clear as I’d hoped.

My name is Brendan Mattox, and this is story about music number eight, “Who’s Afraid of the Art of Noise?”.

Room 1 (Crank Sturgeon)

Cars pass by on Massachusetts Avenue, seen out the front window of Weirdo Records in Cambridge. It’s night time. A few young men in their twenties sit on the floor of the small storefront, waiting as Crank Sturgeon sets up in a corner.

Crank: Cool. So, do you think this is our show? Shall we wait, or?

Angela: I think…What time is it? It’s not eight-thirty, that’s probably most of our show. Let me turn that off.

Crank: Not that uh, four’s a wonderful audience, I’ve played for two. One of them was my brother who never saw me before that point…and Id Em Thft Able and I had some very bizarre sexual ritual in front of my brother, involving instant powdered milk and a plastic poster from 1970 of this naked woman holding a stuffed animal…And I had a penis helmet at the time… but alright, well I will perform for you hello, my name is Crank Sturgeon everybody… (6:37) We could do a performance where I have everyone sing introductions of themselves to each other. Everyone up on your feet. 

Crank: Hello! My name is Craaaaaaannnk Sturrrgeon!

Angela: Hello! My name is Angela Sawyyyyyeerrrrrr!

Crank: All at once now!

Brendan: And I am Brendan Mattox!

Crank: Hi Brendan Mattox, my name is Crank, it’s a pleasure to meet you, you have a really firm handshake. And this man in the corner, what’s your name? Andrew, another Andrew, Brendan, Angela.

Angela: Wow, we’re nearly phonemes.

Crank: Ahh, phonies…

Crank Sturgeon sits down behind his instruments: a few tape recorders, a sharpie, and a loudspeaker full of tacks and jelly beans.

Crank: First Piece, oh, wait. My brand new fish helmet, so I can lose even more water to my body. There we go. First piece is improvisations with the letter D. Delirious, Delightful, Delicious, Dumb, Dumbfounded, Dimwit, Diplodocus, Dinosaur, Diana, Dagnasty, Dagnabbit, Diddling, Dawdling, Doodling, Dude Ranch (buzzing noise) Dick, Doofus, Dammit, Darn, Dangle, Drink, Drunk, Dank, Dork, Dusty, Dunce, Distinguished! Development! Duplicitous.

Crank is wearing a black garbage bag over his head, adjusted so his face and white goatee peek through the hole he’s cut in it for air. On either side of the bag are two enormous fish eyes, drawn on card stock, with marker. 

I’m here tonight reporting a story about a couple of loosely associated experimental musicians from Boston, a story whose meaning is starting to exceed my grasp.

Brendan: How would you describe Crank Sturgeon?

Crank: In uhh, a sentence? Brendan: I have no idea. How would you describe the experience of being Crank Sturgeon?

Crank: Well it’s, uh, it’s not a party.

Angela: It is so.

Crank: It is a party. It’s funny because, I’ve survived for awhile, through the many phases of experimental music.

Brendan: What do you mean the many phases?

Crank: The many phases. You’d go to a show in 1996 in a basement in Allston and it was like, a tough guy scene. 

Angela: People sitting on the floor, like indian style, and a dude looking at his belly button going “doonk-doonk-doonk.”

Crank: (laughs) Very true…

Angela Sawyer, the owner of Weirdo, jumps in. She and Crank know each other going back to the nineties, when they were at the beginning of the path that has led to the three of us standing in a circle in her record store.

Brendan:  what’s the trick to growing old with grace within the experimental community?

Crank: Oh that’s a really fun question, because I’m still figuring it out. I think…did you want to say something?

Angela: Well I feel like no one– when I was twenty, or eighteen, and I met people who were much older than me, it never occurred to me to look at myself from their point of view, ever. So I only ever thought, “oh, that person is as old as my mom and my dad, but they’re doing what I want instead of what my parents are doing. Once you get to be–– I’m in my forties…then is when you’re like, oh, I have been there so many times and they have no idea where I am. So that’s when you start to feel marginalized a little bit

Room 2 (Shane Broderick)

The TV in Shane Broderick’s living room is on mute. A weather man gestures in to a map of New England in shades of blue and purple. At the top of the screen is a red banner with the words “Blizzard Warning.” It’s mid-afternoon. Shane and I are drinking cans of beer that Shane brought out of the fridge.

Shane: I was always playin’ music and stuff since I was a little kid. Even when I was, like, twelve years old I’d be up late smokin’ weed and messing with drum machines and stuff like that.

Brendan: Where’d you get your hands on a drum machine at age twelve.

Shane: Uhh, Christmas present.

Brendan: Christmas present?

Shane: Yeah.

Brendan: That’s pretty cool.

Shane: Yeah, I had my beginner guitar and a drum machine. Y’know once I was like, fifteen and stuff I got a job, started collecting equipment…I thought I’d make a career out of it but I ended up just being, like, a lifelong mailroom guy.

When he was 19 years-old, Shane dropped out of college in Florida and moved back to Massachusetts. He started making abrasive music with a friend he knew while working at a gas station in high school. 

Shane: We worked together and every time we finished a shift it would be like a hundred and something dollars under, and I was like, what the fuck this kid man.

They called themselves Twodeadsluts Onegoodfuck.

Shane: We joked around on the internet about how we were going to start the most extreme band ever and how the first record we’d just put a bunch of contact mics in a blender and throw a rabbit in it and whatever it sounded like, that was the first LP. Which we never did. [music in]

Brendan: But what instead came out of it was…

Shane: I stuck my boner in a blender. Which was a demo that we did which was me and him coaching eleven of our friends, we were just trying to make circus music with grindcore parts.

Shane: We got reviewed in something like Metal Maniacs, that was like a magazine that when I was ten years old and my mother would drag me to CVS to grab things, I would sit in the aisle and look at, like, pictures of like, Slayer looking sexy and stuff like that, so I was like “oh shit, I’m in this magazine now.” After that, me and him decided to keep the name and go forward with it.

Shane is in his early thirties and he still makes music, although Twodeadsluts hasn’t been active for awhile. He also still plays shows sometimes, though he doesn’t really enjoy it.

Shane: I don’t know I think it’s just, like, nerves. It was easier with the other guys because we were more like a wrecking crew. Y’know, get blind stinkin’ drunk and it didn’t really matter what happened.

Brendan: What would one night at a TDS show end up being like?

Shane: It would start off sloppy and then I wouldn’t remember then end of it. 

(Indiscriminate yelling)

Shane: We’re Twodeadsluts Onegoodfuck from Boston, and we need the drum machine way fucking louder. Get that shit way the fuck up.

Brendan: When you guys got onstage, there seems to be sort of a pattern. You start off with some harsh feedback, and then it progresses into stuff getting knocked over.

Shane: There was definitely a lot of feedback and definitely a lot of things knocked over.

They were also usually naked. 

Shane: I think we were probably more performative over substance, to be quite honest. In those early shows we were just using five or six microphones, a bunch of fx pedals running back into each other, and just whatever sounds were happening, were happening

[music]

Shane: Either people really liked it or found it very entertaining, and on the flipside– we’d have people picket our shows, feminists thinking that we were, like, um, promoting sexism… Just that band name wipes off at least 70% of the population from even giving you a chance. It’s probably a higher percentage than that…

Brendan: So the choice of the band name then, was it to…

Shane: It was kind of like, a filtering mechanism and also it was like an inside joke that just kept going and going, and no one was really in on it but us. The band wasn’t supposed to last ten years either.

Shane: I can’t even give you any rationale behind it…it really might look pretty forced, but it was actually pretty natural for the people involved in the band.

Brendan: Why was it so natural?

Shane: I don’t know. That’s a question for a therapist. I don’t know.

I sip from my can of beer even though it’s empty. Shane plays with the pull tab on his. On the television, the weatherman predicts a foot of snow is going to cover Boston over the next two days. Shane, still dressed in scrubs from the hospital where he works, says,“I got to work tomorrow no matter what.”

There’s a half-open ironing board against a wall. In the bathroom, the sink is plastered with shavings. Next to the un-flushed toilet sits a stack of musical notation paper. I stare at it, because it says something specific about the person I’m speaking to. I can’t figure out what, or why.

Brendan: If you could maybe, like, point me in the right direction of some people in the area to talk to…

Shane: I think you should definitely talk to Ron in Lowell. He runs triple-R records. He’s kind of, America’s greatest living noise artist. Like a godfather type…

Room 3 (RRRon)

I walk out Shane’s front door and into Ray Robinson’s café in downtown Lowell. Ron Lessard waits for me in a yellow booth along the window. Through the rain on the glass, the world outside is a blur of different shades of gray.

Brendan: Where should we begin?

Ron: (chewing noises) So. Today is Wednesday. I’m eating lunch. I’m almost through with my fries, soon I’ll be starting on my burgers. Fuckin’ awesome.

Ron is the noise expert, one of the engines driving America’s experimental music scene since the 80s. Ron has released about 1000 recordings on Triple-R’s in-house label.

Ron: I was the source. And everybody who ever learned how to play a tape backwards or make feedback decided to send me a demo. And man, I heard so much crap like you wouldn’t believe…I mean, how many Rock’n’roll bands are awesome, and how many suck beyond belief?

Ron first got into noise music around 1981, after he left the Air Force and came home to Lowell.  

Ron: There was a mail-order outlet out of Colorado called Aeon A-E-O-N. When I got their catalog, I couldn’t believe the stuff they had listed. They had, like, Whitehouse albums, New Blockaders, Maurizio Bianchi, and it’s like who the fuck are these guys? So I started buying that stuff  and I was like, woah, this is what I’ve been looking for all these years. The guy that ran it became a survivalist kind of guy, y’know, living out in the woods with his gun type of thing and, actually, he eventually sold me his entire inventory, I bought him out.

Ron: When I first opened I tried to specialize in all the really weird imports, bizarre bands and that kind of stuff, y’know. But at the same time, I knew enough to know that pedestrians, your average everyday person, has no freakin’ clue. They just want to listen to a Barry Manilow or whatever the fuck they like, y’know.  

His store, RRRecords, opened in 1984.

Ron: After Aeon, I was the guy that was thoroughly obsessed, and I just devoted myself to it…Day in day out noise, morning, noon, and night. Listening to tapes, checking out bands all day every day. At that time Heavy metal wasn’t heavy enough, punk rock wasn’t extreme enough, Noise did it for me, it really did.

Ron started performing noise music himself under the name Emil Beaulieau. Footage from from the nineties, like this, show him using vinyl records and their accessories as instruments. 

This is another way to look at noise music: instead of using something like a trombone, or a tuba, a guitar, or a piano, you take whatever you can find, whatever objects appeal to you, and you refashion them into something expressive. The screeching noise you hear is coming from a modified turntable, which Ron stands behind with a goofy look on his face, pretending to polish record.

Ron: Remember to always, always use the circular motion when cleaning your records.

From that perspective, noise is a positive, creative philosophy, and I can see how people get so obsessed with it.

Ron:A lot of people, y’know, they can’t play guitar, they can’t play the drums–– but twisting knobs and screaming your brains out, getting out that primal scream, whatever it is…it’s inside everybody.

Brendan: And speaking of which, what’s your personal experience with it.

Ron: (Darkly) What do you mean?

Brendan: I mean with Emil Beaulieau.

Ron: Yeah.

Brendan: Well you just said that Noise music was this personal experience. How did you get stuff out through Emil Beaulieau?

Ron: I–I’m not sure where your leading, as far as recording or getting the name out?

Brendan: Why did you start Emil Beaulieau?

Ron: ––you know, I just wasn’t any good at sports (laughter).

The uncomfortable moment sticks in the back of mind for the rest of our interview. Though Ron’s eloquent and energetic, as I was warned he would be, he’s also a little guarded. Maybe that’s because I showed up looking for someone to answer the criticisms of noise music or its culture, which he brushes off with a simple:

Ron: Lately? Lately I’m out of it.

Brendan: When was the last time you were in it?

Ron: Seven years ago (laughs)

Brendan: So let’s go back seven years, because this is something that keeps coming up in interviews with people. Seven years ago, things were very…

Ron: Active.

Brendan: Active.

Ron: Wicked, wicked, wicked active.

Brendan: What’s happened?

Ron: The bands that are making noise today sound like the bands that were making noise ten years ago, that sound like the bands making noise twenty years ago, y’know they sound exactly the same, they’re doing the same freakin’ feedback, they’re still screaming the same lyrics, y’know, it’s just the same thing over and over and over and over again. Which is fine, y’know, punk rock exists for a reason, y’know. The young people, they’re totally into it because it’s new for them. It’s like wow this is freakin awesome these guys are screaming their brains out! They’re talking about killing people! But then ten years later it’s the same thing all over again…I mean do you want to listen to that same band for freaking ten years in a row? I mean do you still want to hear Aerosmith? No you don’t (laughs).

He seems tired in a way that I’ve not seen before. As we talk, I get the sense that what Ron and I are doing has become an exit interview.

Ron: I did what I had to do. I did what I had to do and just to keep doing it because somebody else wants me to? Wrong freakin reason. That’s how bands start to suck. So fuck that y’know.

Y’know there was a time when I couldn’t wait to get on stage and scream my brains out. It’s like, well I mean y’know, you ever had a girlfriend? You make out with her it’s like the best! And then one day, you don’t want to make out with her anymore. It’s no different.

I mean, it’s been seven years. I stopped performing seven years ago, March of ’06. It’s now March ’13. It’s seven freaking years that I’ve stopped. Chances are you’re not doing the same thing you were doing seven years ago. And I’m willing to bet, seven years from now, you’re not going to be doing the exact same thing you’re doing now. People change, they move on. Been there, done that, why do it again?

music: “Fog in the Ravine” | Lejsovka & Freund

The scene dissolves. In the darkness, I think of the question that I wish I’d asked. This isn’t just some thing Ron was doing, it was the thing – what can you do when you lose touch with the something that was core to your identity?

Room 4 (Andrea Pensado)

Andrea: I think it’s very important to not to be scared of being in a place of not knowing. To be in a place of uncertainty, is excellent! Even if it is uncomfortable. Honestly, I don’t want a comfortable life. 

I’m sitting in a cozy loft apartment in Salem, while my friend Samira chats with a small, owlish woman in her late 40s named Andrea Pensado.

Andrea: Well if you feel it at twenty than you cannot imagine in your forties.

Samira: I just taste it and I’m like, ‘wow, I’m just feeling all the sugar.’

Andrea: I ate a lot of chips, it was a bad idea. With beer, y’know, not good.

Samira is working on her own documentary about experimental music.

Andrea first got interested in music when she was a little girl, growing up in Buenos Aires.

Andrea: Eh, I was living in an apartment building, and a friend of mine, she started taking piano lessons. She showed me her music and I saw the notation, ehh, and I was fascinated. Honestly I was not aware of such a rich experimental music background until when I was in Poland… 

She left Argentina to study composition in Krakow as an adult. But the music she composed on paper was so complex, that she often had trouble finding people to play it. Andrea likes to think about timbre–– the color of sound, what differentiates one instrument from another.  To wring out some really interesting timbre with traditional instruments, you’ve got to do some out there stuff.

Andrea: Like, I don’t want to be just writing for the drawer.

And then, Andrea went to the Audio Art Festival, a meeting of the minds held in Krakow every November. The festival focuses on objects used to produce sound: musical instruments, but also computers. 

Inspired, Andrea taught herself to program and began using electronics in her work.

Andrea: So I create a wifi for myself just to avoid latency, you can work with any wife…So my controllers are! An iPod–– I say, I look like an apple merchandise stand, which is quite depressing, but you know, what can I do? So this is an iPod with a special application I use to… [iPod click]. Well, first I have to set up the wifi, I show you…

Andrea is wearing a a headset like the kind people use to play video games. She’s sitting at her computer with an iPod Touch in her right hand. 

Andrea: This is a simple wave, just a simple low tone. So if I move it like this, I change the pitch. And then if I do like this, the distortion is the direct result of– 

She twists and bends her arm manipulating the sine wave into a complex pattern.

Andrea: And I can do the same if I had my voice…

Then she flicks on her mic.

Andrea: Hey, hah, that’s my voice! (noise) hello! Hah! (pause, noise ends). So you know it’s quite dramatic.

Andrea: Maybe for somebody who is not a lot in music, this seems harsh. I don’t think this is harsh at all, this is just the way new music is going. I do believe that, even though I don’t think what we do now is better than what was done in the Renaissance, ok, I do believe that there is constant change, and that artistic languages keep having a need of refreshing themselves, ok?…yeah?

Brendan: (18:49) Why do you think music is shifting in that direction?

Andrea: To explore timbre…Because now, thanks to the technology, we have access to it. It’s easier to manipulate. We are like kids, we are, like, playing. (12:26) I compare it to the beginning of the baroque, where they became aware of chords, of verticality, and then for 300 years, they explore that.

Andrea’s grandiosity reminds me of the document that first inspired me to pursue this project. In 1913, a young painter named Luigi Russolo wrote a letter to a composer he admired. The two of them were part of an Italian movement known as Futurism. Russolo’s letter ended up as one of the movement’s major manifestoes, The Art of Noises. 

In The Art of Noises, Russolo laid out a framework for the music of the new industrial world, in which the city itself is both the inspiration and the instrument. 

For centuries life went by in silence, at most in muted tones…Amidst this dearth of noises, the first sounds that man drew from a pieced reed or stretched string were regarded with amazement…and the result was music, a fantastic world superimposed on the real one…

We Futurists have deeply loved and enjoyed the harmonies of the great masters. Now, we are satiated and find far more enjoyment in the combination of the noises of trams, backfiring motors, carriages and bawling crowds than in rehearsing the “er-O-i-ca” or the “Pastorale”.

We cannot much longer restrain our desire to create finally a new musical reality, with a generous distribution of resonant slaps in the face. Discard violins, pianos, double-basses and plaintive organs…

I am not a musician, I have therefore no acoustical predilections, nor any works to defend. I am a Futurist painter using a much loved art to project my determination to renew everything. And so, bolder than a professional musician could be, unconcerned by my apparent incompetence and convinced that all rights and possibilities open up to daring, I am able to initiate the great renewal of music by means of the Art of Noises.

It is, and I am one to talk, very pretentious. And yet, I kind of sympathize with the guy. When I started making a podcast, I was intent on remaking a whole sector of journalism with my own bold incompetence.

A man of his word, Luigi built these giant boxes called the Intonarumori, whose purpose was to make a bunch of noise. A photo of them often accompanies The Art of Noises, and you can see Russolo standing behind one, this thin guy with a mustache, a hand placed on the crank handle at its back. 

Like most manifestoes, The Art of Noises says very little about its writer, except what he wanted to be: a great destroyer come to remake the world in his image. If you’re a certain type of young person, that idea is very attractive, and you can embrace it without really thinking about what other things you might put to the side to achieve that.

Samira: What’s your, I know you’ve done a lot of work with visual, audio and visual.

Andrea: Well that’s with my ex-husband (laughter). Greg, whom I met in Poland, he comes from video, from cinema. We had a duo, eventually, I stopped doing my own to work for our duo, which we worked together for ten years. Greg did the images and I did the sound. And we work on interactivity. Then we split, so now I work just with sound.

Brendan: How is your music different working with your ex-husband, than after?

Andrea: The main goal of our duo was to have real time interaction between images and the sound. So if there was something onstage like a movement or, whatever, it had simultaneously a result in both. It gave some rigidity. So now that the interaction isn’t so important, I have much more freedom to just to improvise. It’s like much, much more freedom.

Room 6 (Angela Sawyer)

Angela: One of the first people I ever met who was interested in experimental music was Ron Lessard. 

I’m standing at the counter in Weirdo Records one afternoon, talking with Angela Sawyer again She’s telling me how she first got involved with the experimental scene, just after she started at U-MASS LOWELL in the early 90s.

I had never been to New England at all, I just flew here on a plane from Denver and I wanted to meet some people, and I didn’t really know what to do, and I heard some other kids saying that they wanted to join the college radio station. They said at the meeting to join up, you have to show up and volunteer…I went back the next day, and there no one was there.

Brendan: How long were you there for?

Angela: Probably an hour (laughs). Finally someone came by…I was just like, “hey, hey, I’m here to volunteer, what should I do?” And they just looked at me like I had three heads. They were like, “why don’t you clean something?” So I found a vacuum and I just started vacuuming…

And I went through all the rooms, and finally I got to a room that I hadn’t been in yet, and there was a person in there, and it was kind of dark in there…So I waited for him to notice me. I said hi, I’m trying to vacuum. I had no idea that it was the air studio and, um, Ron, of course, he’s like a firecracker going off. So he’s like, “OH YES COME ON IN,” he was mic-ing the vacuum cleaner, and I’m just like “oh hi,” and he’s like tell me about yourself, who are you? And uhh, he was really awesome to me

As we walk down memory lane, Angela starts talking about a world that I was once very interested in, the network of noise and experimental artists who connected in the early days of the internet, after decades of being little feudal kingdoms.

Angela: There was definitely a feeling at one point of there being a first-world wide, at least, community, if not worldwide, of people who were listening to the same releases, and they were seeing the same bands, they’d heard some Throbbing Gristle records, and they had a common language and finding out about cool stuff and figuring out how it worked, and they knew what happened when you stuck a clarinet underwater and put delay on it. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about what Angela said at the Crank Sturgeon show, about choosing to live on the Island of Misfit toys without thinking about it very hard. Because I feel, in a lot of ways, that that’s become my life. I’m more devoted now than ever to completing the work I set out for myself, but I’m also deeply unhappy, and more isolated.

Angela: Every town has the person who is like, I’ll become the nun, I’ll sacrifice myself and do all this work and…y’know, I have a store, that’s what I do.

Brendan: Can you talk a bit about sacrificing–– about becoming a martyr for the scene?

Angela: I’m not trying to do that, I actually really dislike that. 

Brendan: How did you fall into the role?

Angela: If you have some job related to underground music, that’s what you’re doing. ‘Cause there’s no money. But that’s one of the only ways you can spend your whole life surrounded by it. 

music: “Fog in the Ravine” | Lejsovka and Freund

Angela: Everything I know about politics and geography and sociology and psychology, and how to sort of figure out how to deal with the world at large, I mostly learned them from records. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had a conversation about anything else. I’m a very narrow person outside of records. Basically, records are sort of my defense system and or window for everything, I think of every record as like a pair of of tinted glasses, and you can look at the whole world through that and see it in a new way, and each good record has a slightly different shade on it, so you never get done figuring out how things work and enjoying new wrinkles in how things are. The bad news is that if you take the glasses off things look terrible, then you have to function like a regular person. And that’s not something I’m very good at.

If I’m being honest, neither am I. I’ve agonized over these interviews for a long time, afraid of saying the wrong thing about the people in them. To call it a “cautionary tale of loving something– an idea– that cannot love you back,” sounded unkind, both to them and to myself. I can’t help but feel at the end that that’s exactly what it is.

I avoided revisiting these interviews for almost five years because they held up a mirror to the shaky logic I built ambitions on. They pointed out, in no uncertain terms, that art cannot save me. It can help me find a way to save myself, by learning to communicate things that I feel deeply in a way that’s truthful, accurate, and honest. But that’s all that it can do. 

And it took losing someone I loved very much to understand that. 

Room 7 (Somerville Ave)

Shane Broderick and I stand on the sidewalk of Somerville Avenue on a cool spring evening. Shane’s arm is in a cast. He’s just finished telling me a story about the time he punched a club owner at a venue up the block. As we’re talking about the reputation that Twodeadsluts Onegoodfuck had amongst Boston’s club owners, some of Shane’s friends emerge from the bar where he’s just finished a gig.

Shane: it’s funny because we never actually gave any of the venues our actual performances, it was more like basement parties and shit like that that they were scared of, that they’d heard about.

Brendan: I can’t remember if I got this on tape last time, would you mind describing what the actual performances were?

Shane: Can’t really do that, I don’t know, you can ask these guys.

Friend 1: What’s that?

Friend 2: You gotta lighter? I just realized I left my backpack down there, I got good beer in there but whatever fuck that shit.

Brendan: Would you guys mind describing to me what a normal show by Twodeadsluts Onegoodfuck was like?

Friend 2: Is this an interview? I wasn’t ready for an interview man I can’t do that! My voice cannot be heard on tape.

Friend 1: (makes jerk-off motion) It’s like this.

Friend 2: Can I get a lighter from somebody?

Shane: (shouting) It’s like looking at something, and gettin’ so excited and just BAM! And then it’s kind of like aww fuck.

Friend 1: I don’t have a lighter!

Friend 2: Do you have a lighter?

Shane: We need to go home. Need to hide under a blanket.

Friend 2: Do you have a lighter buddy?

Brendan: Nah, I’m sorry.

Friend 2: Motherfucker! How can you do an interview without a lighter? (distant) Fuck! Amateur!

Brendan: So, just so I don’t take up the rest of your time, there was something you said during the last interview. You said that, for TDS, there was this joke that you guys…when the joke stopped being funny, you guys were like, ‘alright, I’m gonna do something else.’

Friend 1: The joke didn’t stop being funny.

Shane: Well ok I’m not sure the joke ever stopped being funny but…

Brendan: So, what, in your opinion what was the joke?

Friend 1: The band was the joke.

Brendan: What specifically about the band was the joke?

Friend 1: I don’t know…

Friend 2: (strike lamppost) Do a funny voice c’mon what the fuck! We’re supposed to be entertained by this shit.

Shane: Alright, you can cut my voice here.

Friend 2: It doesn’t matter what you say so long as it’s in a funny voice it’s cool.

Shane: There are a lot of Boston noise bands and people from Jamaica Plain and Allston and they want everyone to be like, onboard with, ‘hey, we’re all friends, this is a scene! come down to our house play a show blah blah blah.’ And what Twodeadsluts was more like, was just like, ‘We’re not even invited. We’re playing a show, we’re trashing your fuckin’ house.’

Brendan: Do you ever miss it?

Shane: Yeah, of course I do. It is what it is.

Brendan: I feel like that’s a pretty good place to end.

Shane: There you go.

I walk off into the night. A block away, I come to a stop on a concrete island in the middle of Somerville Avenue and look back at Shane and his friends. They were still down by the bench we were sitting on, drunk, being loud, but their noise is drowned out by the cars flying past me, headed for the outskirts of Boston.

Standing here, it occurs to me that need room tone, the sound of the place I’m in. Room tone helps smooth out transitions in editing, makes a radio documentary sound more natural. I’ve forgotten to get it for almost every other interview with the noise artists. But that I remember now seems significant to me, an promise to myself that someday I’ll figure what made this experience worth telling.

Credits

Today’s episode was produced with help from Wes Boudreau and Samira Winter. Editing help by Kyna Doles and Jon Davies. Special thanks today to Lejsovka & Freund, Jacob Rosati, Sean Coleman, Elissa Freeden, Brittany Rizzo, Tyler Carmody, and Birgit from Denmark. 

Visit our website, investigating regional scenes dot org, for more episodes and, this summer, some bonus materials. You can find Stories About Music on your local podcast provider. Please leave a review to helps us find new listeners.

From Philadelphia, I’m Brendan Mattox, back soon with more stories about music.

[xthexrevenantx]

ѩ Җ ᚡ ෴ ☢

Yet another rmunday meme || ѩ Җ ᚡ ෴ ☢

ѩ: Are there any characters that you love, but simply cannot role play?

YES! ;A; 

Many, many, many where do I even begin? Is it okay if I just start crying instead? D8 Nnnngggghhh Also honestly.. I shouldn’t even be playing YM… I should actually just play as myself since I feel I’m the only person I can, personality-wise, tap into.

Here’s a list:Villamax from Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy. YOU DON’T LOVE HIM, YOU’RE WRONGDiviot from Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy because why the fuck not he’s basically the same as YM and his voice is also pornEcliptor from Power RangersCyclopter from Power Rangers (the blue robotic guy)Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender.Zaheer from Avatar: The Legend Of Korra.Bolin from Avatar: The Legend Of Korra.Riddick from Pitch Black.Remfire from Biker Mice From MarsDonatello, Leonardo and Raphael from TMNT.Also Karai… Angel.Altaïr from Assassin’s Creed 1/bloodlines/Revelations.Claudia from Assassin’s Creed IIRyou Bakura, Yugi Moto, Tea Gardner from YGONath don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming. Also can I steal your Chiyoh?Bigwig from Watership Down. …Lets do Keehaar also.But all these characters are out of my reach and even if I could, I suppose most of the fandoms they are from are either dead or they are not highly wanted characters(?) There’s also plenty I’ve forgotten, I’m sure, so these are really on the top of my list.

Җ:   What’s your greatest source of inspiration when it comes to role playing? *Points at the friend asking this* Do I need to anymore go on, on how much I adore your writing? Because I absolutely will. My-ohh-mai, dejaouija… HOLY FUCKING SHIT I can’t even begin how flawless dejaouija writes out action mixed with setting mixed creativity mixed with…. FFFFFFFFfffff 

And then there is me writing like “fill in spoken sentence.” Said YM “another said thing” He continued saying. I need practice. I need practice very badly ^^; And then there’s many people that I fawn at their writing don’t think I’m ignoring you, I see you all on my dash and I love 8DD

Ohh.. It’s a ‘what?’ and not a ‘who?’

Umm… Well… Then I guess I want to bring more attention to Marik because he deserves to be loved by all. And I want to empathize on all the other aspects on him that have been completely neglected. Cuz it pains my heart that he’s just simply shoven away as this.. Idk.. Simple one layered character that doesn’t get more than a thought or two spent on him. And I just know that he has more to offer than the show lets on.. Whether he himself even knows it or not. 

I’m exposing this asshole for all his greatness >D

ᚡ:Random fact about the mun?Eeehhhh…. I’m really bad at these things cuz I really don’t do much other than roleplaying a psychopath and loving buns…So I don’t really know what I can add to that.. I love doom.. But it’s in my about mun info I think… I am the most terrible person when it comes to holding a conversation but I think I already said that somewhere as well…

I used to collect stuffed animals since the day I was born, and it was a shared hobby between my brother and I (who is four years younger than me) so when I was 14/15 we used to visit the thrift store and buy loooooooooooooooots of stuffed animals for like… 10 cents.. or 40 cents.. really.. the most expensive ones were like 2 euros.. And we did that for quite a while. Those days are past now and I’ve kept only the ones that mean most to me.

Still, I have 8 garbage-sized bags full of them.. I’m donating 20 bags to children in far away poor countries.

෴:  Tell us about your dayThank you! But nothing to say, really. I spent all my day in bed listening to music and just.. Not doing anything cuz period’s giving me a hard time hating on me so I haven’t been able to eat all day or so the slightest at all :\ I have a spastic bowel and it’s something chronic and it tends to get irritated when I’m on “those days” so whenever that is the case, which it is now, I’m in for a very unconfortable three days @.@

I also think Appa is going to be down with something again, he’s been sneezing and trying to clean his face all day and his nose looks rather runny. (Also this is from 3 days ago)I took Appa out, yesterday, with Fluffa’s buggy since I didn’t want him to miss out on the nicer weather being kept in my room all day because of his health continuously going up and down. He’s doing much better now, his nose was so dirty but it looks fine at the moment.

☢:When was the last time you went to the cinema? What movie did you watch?Uhhhh…. I think that was with my birthday two years ago? I went to see Jurassic World with my sister cuz she always insists we should go to the movies but I don’t really like the movies because you have to wait so long for the movie to actually start and also people in your seat… It’s rather a hassle so I prefer to watch movies from TV using DVD.

I only make special exceptions if it’s about a character I love or a subject. Such as dinosaurs, or Riddick…

[arisirie]

*whispers* sorry to everyone who follows me; whenever i get a tad too antsy, i answer ask me memes by myself. the answers and questions are after the cut, so please don't feel obligated to read them

have a nice day! <3

source

65 Questions You Aren’t Used To

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nope. i'm more of a 'believe innocent until proven otherwise' person. or in this case, 'believe real'

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

when i'm with someone else: 2 on my own: 5

3. The person you would never want to meet?

oh? i don't know. i'm generally okay with everyone, even those that others consider 'bad'

4. What is your favorite word?

tintinnabulation: the sound of ringing bells. i love its definition and the way it rolls off my tongue

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

some kind of conifer, i think. maybe pine or fir. i'm pretty sturdy and i love the cold weather

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

'my bangs are assymetrical'

7. What shirt are you wearing?

right now, a dark blue shirt i've had since grade 5

8. What do you label yourself as?

let's see: girl, isfp, choice. that's as much as i'm willing to divulge at the moment

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark room, as long as the lights aren't completely off (i sleep with a nightlight)

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

mm, i woke up a few minutes after twelve. after that, i spent a lot of time thinking

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

thirteen. grade 8 was my favourite grade

12. Who told you they loved you last?

my mother! <3

13. Your worst enemy?

i don't have one. but if we're not talking about people, i really hate spicy food

14. What is your current desktop picture?

a picture of megurine luka

15. Do you like someone?

at the moment, no! but i do like all my friends

16. The last song you listened to?

i'm currently listening to リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー by MACINTOSH PLUS (i'm a big fan of vaporwave) on repeat

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

see #3 and #13

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

see #3, #13, and #17

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

i'd get my brother as a helper, just so he can do a more equal share of his chores

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

i've been told it's my eyebrows

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

i'd probably look like me, but with a very short haircut. i'd love to try talking to some guys though!

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

well, i can type on an old school cellphone pretty quickly. though that comes with practice, since i've had one for about four years now

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

showing my feet in public. yikes

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

nutella + ice cream + sweet bread; i'm a sweet tooth

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

i had this exact same problem the other day (though the money was a gift, not a happenstance)! i spent about $40 on a few books i wanted, but i couldn't figure out what to spend the rest on

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

iceland, iceland, iceland. i've wanted to go there since i was a kid

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out... so what’s it gonna be?

i don't drink (i don't like how alcohol tastes), but i'd get an endless supply of red wine please. for brands, i searched them up and banrock station sounds good

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

"no harming others"

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cheese on a breadstick

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my bin of stuffed toys that i got from friends and family

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my first panic attack, probably

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world!

probably england. it's close enough to iceland, and i'm not as good in any other language as i am in english

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

no one. don't mess with life and death

34. What was your last dream about?

ahhh, something about 'halftipedes.' sometimes i see this weird insect that looks like a mili/centipede in my house, and dream!brother told me that's what they're called

35. Are you a good...[insert anything you’d like here]?

...artist? i guess i'm okay. i'm not the worst, but i wouldn't get into art school

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

the most serious case was for stitches

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes! i live in a country that snows

38. What is the color of your socks?

grey. they're either grey or black, really

39. What type of music do you like?

i like all music! i'm a big fan of edm, but i also like bossanova, electro swing, baroque pop, rock, etc.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunsets. there's something calming about dark colours

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

i'm generic: chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

i don't watch soccer often, but i have a soft spot for fc barcelona

43. Do you have any scars?

plenty. i fell a lot when i was younger

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

clinical psychologist!

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

ermmm, probably my indecisiveness

46. Are you reliable?

i like to think i am, yes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

"are you happy?"

48. Do you hold grudges?

no, but i'm not someone who forgets

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

i'd breed a cat + dog. i'm curious what their kid would look like

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

in recent memory, i had a conversation about how near the near future had to be for it to be considered the near future

51. Are you a good liar?

yep. pretty good. though i always feel guilty after a while

52. How long could you go without talking?

a long time, i think. not that i'd do it, but...

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i cut my hair to shoulder length. that looked terrible

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

not my own cake, but i'm baked cakes before

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

the stereotypical asian accent, since i can speak tagalog

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter! i like it when it melts

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

a tree on a field with a person underneath it

58. What would be your dream car?

a dark red bmw

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

no. the weirdest thing i do is think. a lot. i spend more than half of my time in the bathroom thinking instead of actually taking a shower

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes. as well as ghosts and other supernatural/magical folk (because i really love mythology and folklore)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

i read it whenever i get the newspaper, but i don't give it much weight. it's just for entertainment

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

'c' for cat. also because it’s the third letter of the alphabet (and my favourite number is 3)

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dinosaurs. i used to read about them all the time. my favourites are the stegosaurus and the plesiosaur

64. What do you think about babies?

they're cute! fussy, yeah, but i can live with that. i'm not thinking of having children though

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i'll share a fact about myself: i played the baritone horn in my school band. but if i could learn any instrument in the world, i'd like to learn the accordion