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pink-amethyst-tarot · 2 months ago

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🤍 Why You Should Be Proud Of Yourself 🤍

credit to @crystallilytarot for the idea 💕

P I L E 1 P I L E 2 P I L E 3

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the pile that you think is the one for you ♥

P I L E 1 - You have come so far! Four of Swords, The High Priestess, Two of Pentacles, Eight of Pentacles, Ten of Pentacles, The Fool, The Magician

The first thing I heard before even pulling cards is The Party's Just Begun by the Cheetah Girls and that feels like a sign that you should be having fun, dancing and living your life to the fullest! Your life can be so beautiful if you let it.

You know much more than you think that you do. I feel like you are back and forth between losing faith in yourself and feeling like you are finally breaking through. (I know what that's like, I've been there too much.) You've got to cut yourself some slack. Yeah, it's not perfect now but, you have made so much progress and that is important. You are so much closer to the finish line than you realize. Don't give up now. You've worked too hard and have come too far to give up now.

party cuz you know the future's all yours // dance 'til your feet don't touch the floor // celebrate the day you've waited for // party like you're ready for so much more // do it like you know it's never been done // go a little crazy // have too much fun //today's the day, c'mon everyone // the party's just begun //

Channeled song - The Party's Just Begun by The Cheetah Girls

P I L E 2 - Going With The Flow Two of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles, Two of Wands (Reversed), Six of Pentacles, Justice, Queen of Pentacles, Eight of Swords

Despite your fear of change, you have overcome, finding your balance in your life and either now or soon, you will be enjoying the fruits of your labor. That could be financial abundance for this pile - it seems pretty likely, considering all the pentacles. You have been a very giving person and now it's time that people start giving to you in whatever way that may fit you.

You should also be proud of yourself for getting yourself to a point where you don't feel sorry for yourself. You've done the work to really see the truth of the situation - where you have been both right and wrong - and you've seen that you aren't as stuck as you once thought.

P I L E 3 - You've opened your heart again! King of Cups, Ten of Swords, Seven of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Eight of Pentacles (Reversed), The Moon, Ten of Cups

You've been through some hard times. I feel like your heart was really bruised and batter but, despite the things you have been through, you have taken your lemons and turned them into make lemonade! I can see some of you turning to writing, journaling, or posting on social media. You have been working on yourselves and you are so happy with the progress you've made. You should be proud of yourself; I know I am! This work you have done on yourself is leading you to a new beginning in your life, a change of pace that you have be dying to have!

Your dreams are coming true and your intuition is spot on! You are about to get everything you wanted and then some so you can relax and know that your life is about to change for the better.

If you are looking for a personal reading, you can look on my shop on Etsy at PinkAmethystTarot, DM me or send me an e-mail at [email protected]

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Thank you all so much for interacting with me and my readings, it really does mean the world to me!

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LEGAL DISCLAIMER: FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. THESE READINGS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. no guarantees are implied. These readings are not a substitute or replacement for any professional help or services. My readings are not a substitute for any form of professional legal, medical/psychiatric, relationship, religious/spiritual or financial/ business advice nor consultations. You should always see a professional legal/trained adviser for help in any matter. I am not responsible for any decisions/ actions you take.

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doraminatook · 6 months ago

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We're About To Get Playfully Blasphemous Here (or...The Metaphorical Death and Resurrection of Me)

2023 was the year I turned 33, and in case you didn’t know, many religious scholars cite that as the age Jesus was crucified and rose from the dead. Now, within literature there’s a trope called the Christ-like figure in which a character sacrifices themself and from that death, something happens in order to advance the plot. Usually that something is either the “dead” character rising from the ashes and obtaining new powers (think Gandalf the Grey battling the Balrog and then coming back as Gandalf the White) or the protagonist being so moved by the death of this secondary character that they are reborn in some way (think Red Badge of Courage’s Jim Conklin (JC…get it?) whose death changes Henry’s opinion on war.)

Because I’m a storyteller and have a dark sense of humor, I began to wonder if I would somehow have a Christ-like-figure-moment within my thirty-third year of life. (Not long after my birthday, I told my mom that I just had to make it to 34 and then I would have “beaten” Jesus; being a good Lutheran woman, she did not appreciate this joke.)

Now, I may be reaching or forcing figurative imagery into the literal world (isn’t that what artists do?), but I think I did have a “death” and consequential “resurrection”.

I’m at a strange place in my writing career in that I am not famous (by any means) but I’m also not considered emerging. Recently, I was told by a theater that I should “sit this contest out” and give someone else a chance but at the same time my work has not been produced enough to catch an agent’s eye. (It doesn’t help that theatre companies have an intense fixation on world premieres. They want to be the first one to do the show, apparently assuming that as soon as a piece gets produced once, that means it’s finished. But that’s a rant for another day.)

Currently I live in Milwaukee and for a long time I thought (or at least hoped) that I could maybe just make it work here; it is technically a theater town. Add to that the fact that my whole family lives in Wisconsin, my financial situation was not ideal, and my best friend (platonic soulmate) had made it fairly clear to me that she did not wish to move away from Milwaukee. When I was honest with myself, I knew that I wanted to get out, but there were so many things holding me back from making the jump.

As soon as the thought of moving away entered my head, Anxiety would perk up. Always eager to be the backseat driver, it would shout things like, “Isn’t life here good enough for you? You’ve got a roof over your head, a job that allows you to pursue your passion, and you’re perfectly healthy. Be grateful for what you have and stop expecting something more!”

I attended a workshop for other playwrights from the area and, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I didn’t have a lot in common with many of them. Discussions and questions whirled around about how we find time to write, where we get inspiration, and how we format a script properly. Some of the writers present had never even finished a full script. I certainly am not bringing this up in order to shame anyone, but it was an eye-opening experience for me. Was I a proverbial big fish in a little pond?

My anxiety had an opinion for that, too.

“Wow! Way to be egotistical, D! You think you’re so much better than everyone here? Get over yourself! You’re not special. You’re just another ‘artist’ who thinks they’ve got something special to say!”

A few weeks later I was at my cousin’s wedding and after the ceremony, he approached me to offer congratulations for all the success I’ve had…only to then immediately cut me off guard with the question, “So when are you moving to New York?” As the groom, he was quickly called away for photographs and I never really got to answer his question.

If this moment had been in a play, the spotlight would have hit me right then and there and I would have begun some contemplative soliloquy where I openly pondered, “New York, eh? Maybe I should go to New York!”

Obviously, as a theatre person, the idea of moving to New York had crossed my mind; it’s the theatre capital of the US for obvious reasons. But, at the same time, New York just didn’t feel like me. (I have a lot of opinions on NYC, especially when it comes to the outrageous ticket prices. When it costs a small fortune to see a Broadway show, art becomes a luxury rather than a necessity. But that’s a rant for another day.) It certainly seemed daunting, and every good dream should be at least a little daunting. But New York was daunting without being exciting. It felt like something I should do…something that was expected of me.

LA didn’t do it for me, either. Nor Seattle. I considered many locations, but nothing really made me sit up and take notice. I wasn’t about to dive headfirst into debt and throw away a good thing unless it was something that truly excited me…something that was enticing enough to spark a change.

Again, Anxiety spoke up, “Calm the fuck down, D! New York? Even if that is what you wanted, they’d eat you alive there! You’re a soft midwestern girl who can’t take criticism and cries at the drop of a hat! You really think you could handle New York or LA? Also, the cost of living in any of those places is way more than you will ever hope to make! Stick with Submission Helper. Stick with the contests and the festivals. Go back to dreaming only as big as The Milwaukee Repertory Theatre. Sit down and shut up!”

It may have gone on like this…if not for the summer of 2023.

Close your eyes and picture it: WGA strike, Barbenheimer, The Eras Tour, OceanGate, the Grimace Birthday shake…and in the midst of it all, I was having an epiphany.

A favorite television show of mine dropped its latest season and I eagerly pulled out the Chardonnay and the popcorn to binge it all. The vast majority of the show takes place in London and features several actors whom I admire greatly. Between the giggles, sobs, and various twists and turns of the emotional rollercoaster that was Season 2, something all at once occurred to me.

This is what I want.

That’s where I want to be.

I want to move to the United Kingdom.

Was it daunting? Hell yeah, it was daunting.

And it was exciting.

It was a dream that excited me.

It burned inside me.

It raged.

It burned so hot that I didn’t know what to do with it. I paced around my tiny apartment, simply stunned by the prospect of it all.

Anxiety was in the process of drinking a quad shot espresso con panna and promptly did a spit take upon hearing this new idea. In a frenzied panic, it bellowed, “Are you nuts? What the hell do you think you’re doing? YOU can’t move to the UK! It would be so difficult! You’d need to apply for a Visa…or something like that! Do you even know how to apply for a Visa!”

“No,” I metaphorically replied, “but I could learn.”

“I bet it’s super difficult!” Anxiety shot back, trembling in fear, “I bet it’s expensive and complicated and you’ll never figure it out! I bet your sense of humor wouldn’t translate! I bet you’d end up broke and living under a bridge and crying because you threw away this good thing you had!”

For a split second, Anxiety almost won…but somehow, prompted by the promise of this new dream, I dared to ask, “But what if it worked out? What if I could figure it out? What if I somehow scraped up the money and did the research and filed the paperwork and just made it work?”

If it were a play, I would have been standing center stage, staring out into the audience like some kind of dramatic hero and whispering hopefully, “Yes…what if…?”

It has been a long road to get here, but, despite what Anxiety likes to tell me, I did figure it out. The process has been stressful enough to induce atypical Shingles and a few anxiety attacks, but it’s happening. It’s actually happening!

This October I’m going to grad school at the University of Essex where I’ll pursue my masters degree in Scriptwriting. I’ll hone my skills as a playwright while learning the ins and out of writing for film, television, and radio. I’ll take the train into London on the weekends and see every show I can at the National Theatre. I’ll get new life experiences. I’ll do my best to explore every inch of that beautiful island. I’m going to do something new because it’s scary and, most importantly, it’s exciting.

(To add to the awesomeness of this new adventure, my best friend (platonic soul mate) is moving with me and pursuing her own dreams of studying acting…also at the University of Essex.)

My “death” was not as dramatic or world-changing as Jesus’s, but it gave way to a new life for me. The power of storytelling combined with a newfound confidence was enough to catapult me into something new, something different.

And I know you’re wondering what show I was watching that prompted this sudden change; if you know anything about me, you’ve probably guessed it already.

Along with seeing as much theatre as I can on my visits to London, I also plan to have surreptitious meetings at The Bandstand, feed ducks some frozen peas at St. James’s Park, and maybe help avert an apocalypse (or two). My birthday is in January and it just so happens that Season 3 is scheduled to begin filming around that time; perhaps on my winter holiday, I’ll put myself onto a train and take myself up to Edinburgh. I have so many thoughts on what could possibly happen next to my favorite angel and demon…but that’s a rant for another day.

(Fun fact: I say this line at least once a week...if only to myself.)

#writers on tumblr #female writers #good omens #dreams come true #hopefully #I write blogs now #University of essex #london #united kingdom #anxiety #creative writing #playwrights #playwright #playwrights of tumblr #mental illness #david tennant #michael sheen #neil gaiman #terry pratchett

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mysticheathenn · 7 months ago

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Messages From The Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is all about messages from things that you should not be caring or giving a f*ck about. This could be you having the fear of being seen. What does the world think of you at the gym? Basically, petty things that stop you from living your life.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

Pile l:

What should you not give a f*uck about? Tarot: 8 of Cups, 7 of Wands (reversed), Awakening, 9 of Cups, The High Priestess

The opinions of others concerning any and everything you do. You are meant to shine and show up as your most authentic self pile l. You do not need anyone's permission, advice, or even guidance on knowing who you are or what you should do with your life especially if these people are doing the exact opposite of what they try to preach to you. For some of you, I am getting that there is a family member or even just family in general who likes to dictate everything that you do and who you are. While I can't tell you what to do and can only provide you guidance for your situation, please ask yourself are these people happy? Do they ask anyone what they should do with their life and who they should be? Are they paying any bill of yours or financially supporting you? If you have answered no to any of these questions, my suggestion and only suggestion and opinion is to stop paying attention to anything that comes out of their mouth when it regards to you. I have a story for you once upon a time a little mystic heathen had parents and family who would dictate and tell little heathen what to do up until it got time to actually put their money where their mouth was and would back out while telling little heathen still what to do. Little heathen wanted to major in English while her parents medicine or computer science. It wasn't until little heathen saw that no one was paying the bills but herself that the only opinion that mattered with what she majored in, where to move, what career, and who I should be friends with was the opinion of her own. She broke free and stopped giving a dam because once you give someone the power to mold and control you it never stops. Unless the opinion from others saw red flags that I did not see everyone's opinion or suggestions could fuck off. Again this is all a suggestion and my opinion as you're an adult and can make your decisions for yourself but if you have been looking for a sign as to what you should do, this is it. Be free and release yourself from the holds of others that hold you at a standstill or make you unhappy.

Pile ll:

What should you not give a f*uck about? Tarot: 10 of Pentacles (Reversed), 2 of Cups, Queen of Cups, 5 of Swords (reversed), Knight of Cups, Queen of Wands (reversed)

Validation from romantic partnerships. I get the strong feeling from this pile that you love to watch and read future spouse pick-a-card readings. No matter the topic of love when it comes to tarot you are there waiting to see what it has in store for you. It is also similar to how you are in a relationship. You see the validation from your partners that you are good enough. Some of you might even have a small bit of pick-me energy. Whenever your partner says jump you don't ask how high you keep jumping and ask them if this is good enough and if it's not you keep jumping higher until they are satisfied not realizing that you, darling, are the prize. People should be jumping through hoops for you and not the other way around unless the energy is being reciprocated but I need you to understand that you are powerful just you alone without the opinion or approval of a love interest. You don't need anyone by your side at all. I know you're thinking I know I don't need anyone but I want someone...do you know pile ll. Do you really know that you don't need anyone? You are the Queen of Wands and the Queen of cups pile ll, you turn a house into a home, food into a cooked meal, etc. Anything someone gives you, you multiply it and tax interest and you are out here answering questions like "What do you bring to the table?" as if you aren't the table, the napkins, silverware, plates, and whole packaged deal. See yourself through the lens of a goddess/god. You are powerful, start acting like it, and stop putting yourself through hoops for someone who wouldn't do the same or doesn't even wash their own ass not knowing their shit stinks, they are no one special.

Pile lll:

What should you not give a f*uck about? Tarot: 2 of Cups, 3 of Swords, 6 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, The Wheel

Pile lll you may have also been slightly drawn to pile ll as both your piles kind of go hand in hand. Pile ll is all about validation from being in a romantic relationship while yours is simply you acting as if being single is the worst thing in the world. As mentioned in Pile ll you probably watch and read a lot of love and Future Spouse pick-a-card readings because you have a hard time being by yourself. If not pick a card readings you read a lot of romance novels. Your favorite authors are probably Emily Henry, Ana Huang, Ali Hazelwood, Lauren Asher, Elsie Silver, etc. You watch as others around you fall in and out of love and you want that for yourself. If romance was oxygen you would die the moment you're not with someone within .5 seconds and I need you to release the need for romance just for a split second. Enjoy singlehood and realize that not everything is about love. There is more to life than being in a partnership with someone. You may not think that but have you tried and I mean really tried to enjoy being single? Travel to other places, dining out alone, watching a movie all without someone constantly talking or ruining the moment with spoilers. This message is only for a small few of you as it is very specific but you need to leave your ex alone. Stop thinking, dreaming, looking at their social media, or even reaching out to them. What's done is done...don't let someone tell you they don't want you more than once. This also goes out to those who are in situationships wanting a relationship from their person. They are telling you with their actions for some time now that they don't like you they just want you for your body and the things you can do for them. You are a placeholder until they find that person they want a commitment from. That was a specific message for those who resonated with the message but to continue on with the general reading love is beautiful, kind, and sweet, but it's not the end of the world if you don't have someone by your side. You are free to live life beautifully without someone else there to witness it. You remind me of the era when everyone would always post that they were going to the gym on Facebook and the meme was "If you don't post that you're at the gym, did you even go." If you have fun without someone being there with you to also have fun...did it even happen. Yes...yes it did pile lll. One day you will find a beautiful and harmonious relationship but until then enjoy singlehood. Also, give the love readings a break. Go outside and touch the grass for 30 mins everything will be fine.

Pile lV:

What should you not give a f*uck about? Tarot: 3 of words, The emperor, Ace of Swords (reversed), Page of Swords (reversed), The Empress (reversed)

Pile lV You are my only pile where I have to tell you to give a f*ck about something. You've been through heartache, after heartache, and loss to the point you have closed off your heart to the world because of how many times you have been hurt. This is leading you down a path where sometimes you can't focus or make the best decision because you have closed off your heart to the world or even love in general that anything where you need to involve feelings, showing a small bit of compassion, or even empathy goes out the window. Sometimes even logic goes out the window because you are so strung on not getting yourself tangled up in anything where it could lead to heartache or betrayal. For most of you I am getting this is a relationship or several might I add. While others of you probably had a shining light. You were a lighthouse pouring your beautiful light, energy, and guidance out onto the world for others to take advantage of you and make you cold, aggressive, or deemed in the eyes of a few, an asshole. I need to remind you that it is okay to open your heart to others or even love again Pile lV. I get it, it's scary thinking about the chances of being hurt again but I have to remind you that, this is part of life. You get knocked down and you get back up again but don't harden yourself off to the world. Not when the world needs so much kindness and love right now. There is already so much hate and lack of compassion in this world, open yourself up again even if it is for a little bit or for certain situations. The things that happened to you weren't meant to harden you up but to teach you lessons about boundaries and having self-respect and love for yourself. Instead, you hardened up instead of doing the work that is necessary to establish standards and boundaries for yourself. Do the work. Open yourself up again. The world needs your kind and gentle heart the way it was always intended.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

#spirituality #witchblr #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a card #tarot cards #pac tarot #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick an image

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sanjoongie · 10 months ago

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𝕮𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝕷𝖎𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖌

ღPairing: Kim Hongjoong x Reader (f) ღAu: sugar daddy au, rich! hongjoong, ballerina au, poor!reader ღTrope: one sided pining, acquaintances to lovers ღRated: 18+ MDNI, smut, pwp ღWarnings: sugar daddy themes, sex for money, pre-agreed upon free use, rough sex, spit play, oral, fingering, manhandling, sex without a condom, choking, finger sucking, degradation, multiple orgasms, slight corruption kink if you squint, dacryphilia, ass slapping ღWord Count: 1,632 ღSummary: with no where to go but to the man who is willing to pay money for access to your body, you give it to him for twenty four hours in order to pay rent ღDedication: @mejuii & @downtoamagicalland for suffering through the beta-ing of this fic 😜

The first time you offered your body up to Kim Hongjoong, he smiled with all of his teeth and none of his eyes.

“What am I, your tithe lord?” The problem with Kim Hongjoong is that he was smart… and he knew it.

You were terrified of not making rent and Hongjoong had been offering to be your sugar daddy for a while now. Well, he had wanted to be in your life at any capacity and the want extended to any way to get his claws into you. He'd take sugar daddy, at the very least, to get access to your sweet body.

“I've never had a ballerina,” Hongjoong announced when Wooyoung introduced you to his friend group.

Yunho sent him a look of disbelief and then extended his hand to shake yours. Yunho’s was serious. When Hongjoong pushed out a tatted hand, fuck you spelled out between one middle finger and the other, black nails chipped but there, you wrinkled your nose at him.

You were as clean-cut as could be. You were a ballerina after all. Someone like Hongjoong smelled of bad mistakes and lost causes. You knew to stay far away from him.

But Hongjoong was having none of that. He pursued you relentlessly and was more smug than a cat with his cream that you were wringing your hands on his couch, tears in your eyes about your financial situation.

“24 hours.”

You sniffled loudly. “Excuse me?”

“I get your body for 24 hours and I get unlimited access,” Hongjoong proposed.

“Are you…” You swallowed nervously, “Are you talking about free use?”

Hongjoong folded his arms behind his head. “Fuck you to my own personal preference. I’m not soft either, darling.”

“I…” You didn’t have much of a choice, did you? Either not pay rent or get fucked within an inch of your life. “Okay,” You nodded resolutely.

It took Hongjoong all of a few minutes to send the money to you digitally and then he was moving down the couch, his thigh touching yours. “Twenty four hours starts now.”

Hongjoong stripped you of all your clothing until you were spread out on his bed, ripe for the taking. He spat on your cunt, letting a large glob gather at your hole, and then licked upwards with a grin. He worried at your clit roughly, sending sparks of pleasure immediately through your nerves, despite your protests that it was too much too soon. His fingers wiggled into you soon enough, vigorously pumping inside of you, tapping the spongy part inside of you that made you squirm. Hongjoong ripped your first orgasm from your body with his rough treatment of your body and you laid there panting and dizzy.

If you had enough energy, you might have eyed his straining cock against his tight jeans but you were too busy trying to catch your breath to even contemplate what was going to take place next. Hongjoong pushed and prodded your body until you were sideways and tested out your flexibility. He pushed your right leg to be adjacent to your body, foot higher than your head, and he pushed into your hole. You groaned at the stretch. Even with the orgasm and Hongjoong scissoring you, you still weren’t prepared for how fucking fat his cock was. You whimpered and Hongjoong chuckled. “What’s wrong, darling? My cock too big for you?”

You shook your head, despite the tears beginning to form at the corner of your eyes. “No. I can take it,” You denied.

Hongjoong didn’t even bother to bottom out inside of you, he simply began to fuck your wet pussy. He watched as your lower lips hugged him as he pulled out, genuinely surprised at how well you were taking him. A loud, low moan pulled from your lips when his cockhead passed over that spot inside of you and he grinned.

“Finally understanding that a good, rough fuck is something you need, huh darling?” He moved his hips against your body, leg over his shoulder now, searching out for his release. He wasn’t one to come easily but he did fuck you through a second orgasm, in which your entire body tensed and a silent scream kept your mouth open.

Hongjoong attempted another position, hoping perhaps he might fill you with some of his cum and see how much your tiny body could take of his type of sex. You were on your knees next, his hand wrapped around your throat, loosely at first. Once Hongjoong found a pace that had you bouncing on his dick and kept his dick firmly inside of you, his other fingers filled your mouth, countless, breathless cries muffled now because of his digits. He constricted your throat a few times, enjoying the way your cunt squeezed him when he let go and your pleasure was heightened.

The third orgasm took longer for you to reach, but Hongjoong wasn’t in a hurry. He was genuinely enjoying how fucked out you were looking. Clearly no one had ever fucked you like he had and he was starting to think that you were missing out.

“Gonna shake through another orgasm for me, darling?” Hongjoong said in a mocking sing-song voice, “I haven’t even cum once. You really are that fucking desperate for some dick, huh? You didn’t have to pretend you couldn't have paid rent. I could have fucked you good a long time ago.”

You shook your head, hands clawing at his forearms, he didn’t even care if you drew blood, he just wanted to fuck you through another mindblowing orgasm. “Hong--joong--hong--joong,” You said through each gasp he permitted through your throat.

“You gonna beg? Beg to cum on my cock again? My cock really must be that good if you’re cumming a third time, hmmm?” Hongjoong continued to mock you, stroking his ego beyond reproach.

“Puh-lee-ssss-uhhhh,” You said in a long drawn out breath.

Hongjoong let go of your throat in favor of grasping both of your hips with his hands. Your upper body collapsed against the bed. The only part of you upright, because of Hongjoong’s insistence, was your lower half. You practically screamed through your third orgasm, it hitting you so hard that you saw stars and didn’t know you were a corporeal being until Hongjoong slapped your ass and brought you back to reality.

“You’re not going to pass out, are you? I still need to stuff you with my cum, darling, come on now,” Hongjoong teased.

You almost spoke, but had to cough, because your poor throat was abused and it wasn’t even because Hongjoong had been squeezing it. “I don’t think--”

Hongjoong cocked an eyebrow at you. “Tapping out so quickly already? Twenty four hours, remember?”

Your pride wouldn’t let you tell him to stop. You had also never been fucked so well and thouroughly in your entire life, so you weren’t about to tell him to stop anyways. “I can do it,” You said weakly.

Hongjoong laid down on his back, black t-shirt straining across his tits and patted his hip bone. You moved to straddle him, not quite sure how this position would continue to help him pound into you. But you did appreciate how angry and red and hard and leaking his cock looked. He needed to cum as badly as all three of your orgasms had fucked you up.

Hongjoong brought your entire body down to his, mouth latching onto your nipple to suck and nip at the sensitive flesh as you sunk down on him again. His pace was still relentless but you had come to crave it now. Your moans are punched out with each thrust into you. The unabated slap of skin against skin laces through Hongjoong’s noises of satisfaction as he fucked you and sucked at your breast. He is getting a feast with you and he’s finding that perhaps he’s become addicted to giving you exactly what you need.

Finally, he can feel his orgasm approaching and he groaned loudly, but halted his rough fucking. You look like a little lost deer, eyes big and wet, searching out a reason to why he’s taken away your pleasure. Hongjoong almost reverently laid you down on your back, on his knees now, fisting his cock above your head. “Open your mouth and push out your tongue, darling,” Hongjoong instructed in a quiet voice, finally removing his t-shirt and his plethora of tattoos.

You wished suddenly that he was coming through with his threat to fuck you full of his cum, because watching him above you, all those tattoos painting his glorious skin, you knew that this image would be burned into the back of your retinas. You do what he bids, however, opening your mouth and obscenely sticking out your tongue. He comes with a messy rope of cum all over your face and chest, as if he was holding back his cum just to cover you with it.

Hongjoong’s moan is deep and melodic, with a hint of a whine at the end as he coaxed himself through his first orgasm of the evening. Your old self would have been relieved that finally this insatiable maniac would no longer be pounding into your pussy; that perhaps you might get some sleep this evening. But this new side of your brain, the one that wanted to be fucked within an inch of her life, well that slut wanted him to recover quickly and put you through more rounds.

And when Hongjoong opened his eyes to see you covered in his cum, your eyes shining with anticipation, he knew he had changed you. You were going to be his good little slut now and he was going to have a sweet, tight cock sleeve to fuck for the next… twenty four hours.

#kvanity #kwritersworldnet #pirateeznet #cultofdionysusnet #ateez smut #kim hongjoong smut #atz smut #ღatz #topaz's work #hongjoong smut #ateez x reader #kim hongjoong x reader

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biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer · 8 months ago

Note

(translator use, Sorry if there are any mistakes in this)

First, I love you, I'm super in love with hyugo and you're one of the few people who made x reader content with him, and the writing is so well done that God. It's beautiful 😭💙

Could I request some headcanons with a shy reader? Just like the one you did with Geo but with Hyugo?

Reticence (Hyugo x Shy! MC/Reader)

Thank you for being so patient with me Anon and @cuentademeri *quietly despairs and prays for forgiveness* and for reading my work! I had fun writing this (however, reminder that I am someone who isn't even remotely shy,so if the shyness part seems inaccurate, well, I tried). Hope you enjoy! :D

P.S Thank you for the compliments. <33 They're appreciated.

A/N: Btw if I take longer to answer requests, it's not because I gave up on them, it's simply the fact I don't want to make this blog quantity > quality. Also an original work for TKATB shall be out soon, so uh rejoice.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Reticence: an unwillingness to do something or talk about something, for example because you are nervous or being careful.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Hyugo first met you, he simply thought you were quiet, like Sol. Until he noticed you essentially never talked.

He wasn't concerned per se, more so curious. Did you feel awkward with him and Sol? Why even sit if you weren't gonna chat?

Tries to befriend you, is the type to wave to you and grin if he sees you around.

Is honestly a tad surprised when he finds out you're shy and reserved.

Doesn't have any issue with it though.

Will make more of an effort to chat you up. Words of affirmation and aggressive positivity galore. "The girls keep saying I'm hideous. I don't believe them but..." "You're not." "Yeah but-" "No buts! Those are for sitting! And I'm going to make sure said people who called you that won't be able to comfortably sit ever again!"

When you star talking more, he's a very happy man.

Likes it when you tell him things, doesn't matter what. He just enjoys hearing you chat about nothing.

He'll ask you at some point why you are shy. He's never been shy so he was curious.

You just explain you're simply not as outgoing as a lot of other people are.

But if you feel shy partially due to appearance woes? He'll tell you you look gorgeous! (He means it he just hasn't realised the extent of said words).

Oh, but if you get bullied? Doesn't matter for what, Hyugo'll fight those responsible (Sol's got too much on his plate already *sob*). Will stand up for you if conflicts arise, mf won't even bat an eye.

He honestly doesn't understand why people target you. You're sweet, cute, even funny when you start crawling out of your shell.

He's honestly angry about it.

He doesn't even fully understand why he feels so strongly about you, nor why he's so eager to see you.

Until one day it hits him. Hard.

It's not like he couldn't see it coming, he suspected it deep down, but refused to admit it.

He has too much shit on his shoulders to catch feelings, no matter how angelic or beautiful or smart you may be.

Alas, his heart has other plans, because it eventually will decide to beat solely for you.

Y'all are the classic "Shy x Outgoing" trope.

He's fine with it. He gets to boost your self-confidence, get you to open up bit by bit, until he's got tens of files on you; with only the necessities of course: - Where you were born - When? What time? - Parents? Carers? Financial situations (doesn't know about the debt teehee) - You get the point

Asks you out right after graduation if he's alive then anyway, to which you say yes. Obviously.

Becomes a very content guy, literally spoils you more than a king ever could. He's rich af.

Will hold your hand in public if you're shy or anxious, is okay with also not holding you if you wish although he will pout at the latter with his plump fucking lips.

Also boosts your confidence, eventually you and him end up having the most absurd, comical banter known to man.

Hyugo is am 11/10 bf, will cater for you, and will never tire of ensuring you're comfortable, content and cordial with him.

And you most definitely are. <33

#the kid at the back #tkatb #tkatb vn #reminder that geo is superior #hyugo sugimoto #tkatb x reader #tkatb hyugo #i love this bigdickedbigthighed man #he's so epic

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angelicbeaut · 1 year ago

Text

Being (the “I am” state)

(Long post)

I think the most common instance I see in the community when interacting with asks and reading different struggles we all have/have had during our journey, is that people don’t just let themselves be.

A lot of us believe(d) that we have to work hard for everything, and we take that and apply it to manifestation. Maybe you feel it is too easy to just provide to yourself in imagination, you think there must be something else you have to do, that it can’t be that easy. Well, my love, I see you, I hear you, and I have been you. But, I am glad to inform you that when you reach this beautiful garden of truth and learning yourself and how this world works, that it is in fact, that easy.

As children, we played so freely in our imagination, even when we did not have the best days. We were always enthralled with our wildest dreams, excited by the mere glimmer of something new, even if we may have lost the ability to return to that sanctity as life become complicated, and imagination was thrown away for the sharp and harsh situations that life may have thrown at us. But I assure you, that you never lose the ability to imagine, it is never gone for good, maybe put to the side but never lost.

Imagine states being in a big shopping mall. You can try on any state you want, you can fill your cart up with fancy coats and dolce bags if you embody being rich (I am rich, I am financial free, I am always receiving gifts), you can fill your cart with heart patterned sweaters and lovely smelling candles if you are focusing on manifesting love or self love (I am loved, I am chosen, I am beautiful), and if you are trying to embody the state of being unloved you can fill your cart with no happy ending romance books and candles that smell like cat piss and back way alleys after it rains (I am unloved, I am not appreciated). Best deal is, it’s all on the house, all you have to do is pay in your mentality and accept this state as your own.

Now, let’s say you get to the register and you realize you don’t have enough mental bucks to spend on feeling rich today, let’s say life has been going crazy and you can only lay in bed, you feel overwhelmed by everything and you can’t raise your vibes right now.

Well, you’re in luck!

There is a layaway where you can store any state you plan to return to, even if you just need to wallow for a bit. The person at the register doesn’t look angry or upset, the look at you with the same witty smile, and hand you slippers, comfy socks, and a complimentary box of chocolates! You get your receipt and it lists all of what you have on layaway, waiting for you at any time! You can leave confidently knowing that you still have them, they just have to be picked up when you’re ready!

Now let’s break this down:

Clothes and different items you can place in your cart = the state you are wanting to be in

employee at the register = your subconscious, you

Layaway = an infinite amount of states that are always accessible to you because everything is you, they never go away, they are just not being made aware of to come into fruition

The register = the point of deciding, from the moment you make that transaction and put on your new clothes, you are now occupying that state, and the unfolding begins.

My love, those parts of you that you may feel like you have lost due to the harshities of this world are never gone, you just had to put them down because all you had the energy to focus on at that time was what you had to get done (working to make ends meet, dealing with a tumultuous relationship, having mental health issues) and that is okay. It may feel like you need to apply that survival mode to get these good things too. But no my love, you do not. You have been doing this since you were a child, your gift is limitless and always exists inside of you. Use your beautiful and boundless imagination internally to give yourself what you want externally.

When you are down, when you are sad, when you feel like you cannot hold yourself to a new state, work through your current one, do not run away, do not ignore it, do not fight against it to be perfect. You are already perfect and you always will be, Angel. Imagine yourself on a throne, as a famous movie star, go into the depths of your imagination and soar, feel the essence of what is like to be your true self. That doesn’t require you to lift a finger, so be gentle with yourself. No one is angry that you didn’t stay in the state today, you are not a failure, you are learning, and time is not your god, you are god.

when you feel as though you cannot do it today, don’t, but when you can, return to yourself as a child, and bask in your boundless imagination, treat yourself to bliss and never stop and your 3D will have no choice but to give it to you. All you gotta do is go shopping, and that mall is always there for you sweetheart. It is never too late to shop for a new look, you can change it at any time.

I love you, from my gracious heart to yours,

Luv, che 🌷

P.S

PUT THE 369 method DOWN, GET SOME SLEEP AND WATCH A COMFORT SHOW! 💕

#law of assumption #manifesting #neville goddard #self concept #manifestation #desired reality #loassumption #manifest #loa #shifting realities

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captainsophiestark · 3 months ago

Text

Husband, Not Handyman

Colin Bridgerton x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2024!

Fandom: Bridgerton

Day Sixteen Prompt: "No, I'm not okay."

Summary: Colin's feeling insecure about how self-sufficient his spouse is, so they set him straight.

Word Count: 1,223

Category: Angst, Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I grinned and put my hands on my hips, hammer still held loosely in one, as I admired my handiwork. In a matter of hours, I'd fixed our lopsided bookshelf, realigned and remedied our sticky door, and nailed down a loose floorboard that liked to trip me at least once a day. Not bad at all for a day's work.

My husband, Colin, had been helping his brothers with some business or other all day. So, with our house to myself, I'd gotten to work on a few of the projects we'd been meaning to deal with. For me, the accomplishment and satisfaction that came from fixing something with my own two hands was almost unbeatable.

I smiled and sighed, then started to put my tools away when the door came swinging open.

I turned to find Colin standing there, a tool kit of his own in-hand. He looked incredibly surprised to see me standing in the middle of our sitting room with a hammer.

"...You fixed the bookshelf. And the floorboard."

"And the door," I said happily. "I had quite a bit of time today, so I figured I may as well just take care of it all. I have to admit, I actually enjoy being handy."

"Oh. That's... wonderful."

Colin sounded almost robotic, the words coming to him anything but naturally. His motions were jerky as he turned around, taking his toolbox and heading back towards the door. I frowned.

"Colin?"

He just gave me a very noncommital noise as an acknowledgement, and continued out the door. I set down my hammer and quickly followed after him.

"Colin!" I caught his arm in the hallway, and when I turned him to face me, he had a pained look on his face. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay." I took a step closer as Colin huffed a breath. We hadn't been married very long, and I'd never seen him acting like this before. I wasn't totally sure how to handle it. "It's just... I feel a bit... useless."

"...What?"

"Oh please! You don't need me. You don't need me to fix things, you don't need me to navigate when we go into town, you don't even need my help building a fire! I just... I don't understand what I'm supposed to do, why you chose to marry me, if you don't need me at all."

Colin stared at me once the confession was off his chest, looking frustrated and devastated. I just stared back at him in shock for a few moments, trying to let his words sink in. Finally, I shook my head and held up my hands to rest on his arms and chest.

"Darling... are you serious? I'm from one of the wealthiest families in the Ton. If I needed a man to fix things around my house, I would've called one! Not married one! Please, tell me you're joking."

"I'm not joking!" Colin huffed, taking a step back and brushing me off. I frowned. "If you don't need me, why am I here? It's supposed to be my job as your husband to take care of you, to provide for you. What am I for if I can't do that? If you're better at it than I am?"

I took a long, deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. I let it out slowly, then finally met Colin's eyes again. He looked as upset as ever, but I was determined to knock some common sense into his head, whether or not he wanted it.

"Colin. I did not marry you—nor would I ever marry anyone—because I needed you to take care of me. It's true that, if I never married, I'm in the fortunate position where I almost certainly would've been fine, both financially and in terms of fixing things around my house. The reason I am married, Colin, and in fact the whole point of the thing, is because I love you. You, the man who makes me laugh and who shares my love of travel and who I know I can trust with any secret, situation, or request. Not what you can do for me."

Colin shifted, his expression moving from firmly negative to a bit more neutral. But he still looked somewhat uncertain.

"Listen to me very carefully, Colin Bridgerton," I said, stepping forward and gently taking Colin's free hand. He let me, although he still watched me a little warily. "I married you because I love you. I love you because of who you are. Who you are makes me happy. That's it. Life is better and much more enjoyable when you have someone to share it with, and as far as I'm concerned, you're my perfect person to share it with. And with all of that said, if I ever do need somebody, I know you'll be there to have my back. Just like I'll be there to have yours. Okay?"

Colin bit his lip and frowned, but he stepped closer to me. He set the toolbox down on the nearest hall table, then took my other hand in his, too.

"Are you... sure? You're not going to wish for something different? Or someone different? I just feel a bit more... replacable. Since you don't need me."

"My god, no." I stepped forward, bringing my hands up to cup Colin's face. He tentatively wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me ever so slightly closer to him. I smiled. "I know you might not hear as much from your friends or whoever else, but believe me, you should be more secure in our relationship because it was out of choice, not necessity. I turned down quite a few suitors in the Ton because I didn't want to be with them, and I promise you, they were all perfectly capable of fixing floorboards and doors. But I didn't like any of them nearly enough to want to commit to spending the rest of my life with them if I didn't have to. And since I didn't have to, you, Colin, are the only person I've ever met who's passed the test. By miles."

Finally, a smile broke out on Colin's face. His arms tightened around me, holding me close to his chest, and I let my hands wander to his shoulders and the nape of his neck.

"You know, that makes me feel much better to hear."

"I should hope so!"

"I'm sorry I didn't realize. And I hope you know this already, but I would choose you every time, too. Over everyone else. You're... you're my best friend. And the best person I've ever met in my life. I love you."

I smiled, then leaned in to close the distance between my husband and I, pulling him in for a long, sweet kiss. His mouth chased after mine when I pulled away, and I put a hand on his chest with a laugh.

"I love you too, Colin. The most."

He grinned, all our earlier troubles forgotten as he kissed me again. I smiled into it, letting Colin sweep me away in the moment. Even though we'd had a few bumps in our early courtship and marriage, I really did love him with my entire heart. Hopefully this would be our last bump for a while, but even if it wasn't, I knew we'd get through that together just like we had everything else.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Bridgerton Taglist: @cherrybb-ily

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thesensteawitch · 11 months ago

Text

About Your Future Potential Partner!🌹❤️

Pick A Pile Reading

~valentine's special ✨

(Left to Right - Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls! 🌹

Thank you for the love you gave to my last blog! I am so grateful for all the reblogs!✨

Now, this reading is about your future potential partner.

This reading is purely based on your current energy. So the partner that comes out is based on your current energy/life situation.

Valentine's day is coming and if you wish to attract the right kind of love then book “finding true love reading” only at $10. Below I am sharing the links:

💌Booking Form|My Rate Card|Tip My Blog💌

Pile 1

Tarot Cards- 10 of cups, The Wheel of Fortune, 3 of Cups, 4 of Wands, 10 of Pentacles, Judgement, 5 of Wands

Hello, my beautiful, pile 1. I literally have tears in my eyes right now! I AM FEELING SO SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU! What I am about to say might feel unbelievable to you too. I just saw 10 of cups I was like wow. And then I saw 10 of pentacles and there was another wow. And then I read in a card, “You're very close to achieving your goals!” And currently, I hear, “I have waited long enough to finally say ‘I do’.....I swear I always knew. It's always been you!” There are other favorable cards too in this pile. So I see one thing very clearly an old relationship or a situation where you already knew this person is being renewed!!!!! My God! And I'll tell you why I had tears in my eyes. It's because I feel you had no hope. For you, it was over. Some of you even felt like or still feel that you have been on a waiting period for a very very very long time now. And even if it hasn't been that long it did feel that way. This person is going to bring the world to your feet. They will be looking for stability and something long-term. You've been in this period of recovery and finding yourself. I see rebirth! Wheels will be turning again and this time will bring a book into your love life. You'll finally have this partner for the long term. The only thing that I feel may stop you is the thought of the past because I see that things didn't go so well with this person in the past. You have so many doubts. You aren't capable of trusting them again. 10s and 20s may be significant. Everything will fall in place with this person again at divine timing. (If any of you guys' relationship has been toxic and you don't want them back in your life then this is not your pile my dear. I suggest you to choose another one.) For some of you, I also see that in the past there was third-party involvement and insecurities from one or both ends. Now let's talk about this person. Though I don't think that I have to tell you about who they are still I'll tell you about their intentions. They are looking for a family with you. They see both of you as an end game. I also sense that they are very emotional. I also sense that they are hardworking and care a lot about financial stability. If nothing's happening right now then know that they are exhausted with their life. But when their true nature is quite playful. I think they are going through something challenging right now and are trying to resolve some things in their personal lives. You're being advised to not think too much and surrender this situation to God. Energetically you need to let go of something from the past to let something new enter. I also hear, “They didn't even put up a fight. They didn't even make a sound. I found a way to let you in but I never really had doubt. Standing in the light of Halo I got my angel now.” You're just not supposed to do anything about this situation. Just focus on yourself. That's what the universe wants you to do. Don't even stay in the waiting energy. Just surrender! Book a reading with me if you want to manifest your true love. The reading is only for $10.

Pile 2

Tarot Cards- The Devil, Knight of Swords, Queen of Swords, 2 of Wands, Page of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles

The first thing I heard was that your future potential partner is not going to make you wait at all!!!! They are going to be so assertive and will follow you like crazy. Don't worry they won't stalk you, haha! They will have pure intentions! But I see they love to talk and love to say things out loud. They will be the kind of person who is always up to something. They will just see you and they will know that you are their person. You will travel with them a lot. They will be someone who takes no pride in going after what they want. They won't be egoistic at all. They can be quite blunt or brutally honest at times. But as quick they will be it will take a lot of time for them to finally have you. Their manifestations take time to come to fruition. They are someone who will have big dreams! They will be quick learners and will have a lot to talk about. They may also be drawn towards spirituality or their path will take them that road. I also sense that they will be someone who is always outdoors, enjoying life. They are so so so outspoken! Their talk will just blow your mind and your heart will race listening about their wonderland. I also hear a message from them, “If we go down then we go down together! We'll get away with everything let's show them we are better.” So I also sense that they won't want anything casual with you. Everyone will know about you and them. Participating in their wildest fantasies might scare you off or put you off guard. I also sense that deep down they have this fear of being left alone. That no one will ever join them in their crazy ideas. They won't be delusional. They will be someone who wants different things compared to the crowd. And it will be a quite transforming journey for you if you join them and I don't think you'll regret it. Their view of the world will be quite different. Though they will be fond of the sun there's a sun burning within them that lights up any room they enter. The challenge for you will also be to understand their wounds because that is what will make you irreplaceable in their lives. I also hear from them, “Nobody ever knows. Nobody ever sees. I left my soul back then and now I am too weak.” Their past relationships were too damaging for them. They can be someone with abandonment wounds. But I see they'll work through all their wounds they just need genuine connections. Because deep down they hold a lot of past wounds and they know what losing people truly means. Nevertheless, they will be a full package of love and light. Book a reading with me to manifest your person. The reading is only for $10.

Pile 3

Tarot Cards- Ace of Wands, Page of Wands, 6 of Cups, Ace of Cups, The Devil, The High Priestess, Wheel of Fortune

Hello, my beautiful pile 3. Silence by Marsmello is your future person's vibe. They will have strong water placement. They are so stuck in their past! They just hold onto what happened to them and only reveal bits and crumbs of their life. They will also have trust issues. I hear from them, “How do I love? How do I love again? How do I trust? How do I trust again? I stay up all night. Tell me I am alright...Every night I am dancing with your ghost.” For some of you, I also sense that this is someone who knows from your past. This future person can be a past life partner too. (If you were attracted to pile 1, do read it. I think it may have a message for you.) This person will look for escape rather than facing their wounds. They will be someone deeply wounded. A wild panther who has been hurt by many people. They can also be an overthinker. They'll be overflowing with emotions but won't know where to navigate them and how to express them. Some days they may burst out with sentimental words and then the other days they may just waste overthinking about every action of yours and theirs. Honestly, they'll be too naive when it comes to love. They will be so lonely and maybe someone who would give in to temptations or will just put themselves into lots and lots of work so that they can run away from their true emotions. You should be cautious dealing with this person, pile 3. There may be parts of yourself that you need to heal to not let this toxicity consume you. Because for some of you, I see that you may end up talking to them because they will be someone from the past, someone who was dear to you. No matter what their experience has been nobody deserves to take in other people's toxicity. So they can be someone who just pulls back their energy as soon as they see a single sign of danger. I do see major shifts happening in this situation when they enter your life. A lesson that you may need to learn from this person will be surfaced. It's very specific but I see that they can be someone who sings or something about their voice will be very captivating. I feel that you'll be someone who will be a blessing from the universe in their lives. They may or may not recognize it. Choosing you will make their lives better but ghosting you and avoiding you will only mean that they are missing out on a blessing they wished to have when they were at their lowest. What a tragedy! You've got nothing to do. You just be yourself. Walk away immediately when you're not valued. Keep yourself elated. You are the light that the world needs perhaps that will be your role in their lives. Wish them well but never let yourself down. Honestly, your light will trigger them because they would have been in darkness for such a long time. Just a warning, that they will change their mind often and you're not supposed to keep getting into on-and-off situations with them. Be very clear while communicating. They may even self-sabotage (already warning you). But it's okay. At least you'll know your answer and walk away. To attract the right kind of connection either through this same person or from someone else book “Finding True Love” reading with me only at $10.

#valentines special #pick a pile reading #pick a picture #tarot reading #pick a pile #free tarot reading #love reading #love tarot free #love tarot reading #your person #manifest love #tarot readings #tarot reader #tarot cards #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #message for the collective

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

Note

Am I the asshole for calling a (now ex-) mutual a stingy asshole?

So to start, I (NB20) am in a pretty rough situation, I'm facing homelessness soon, transphobia at home and work and my hours have been getting cut resulting in me making even less money that can sustain me. I have a toyhou.se forum post up stating I have emergency commissions open to help me out and to please support me if you can. This is where the situation begins. I have a mutual on toyhou.se who I'll call Apple (MTF22) I talk to sometimes to the point I'd say we are friends, not super close but friends nonetheless. She made a bulletin telling people about my commissions and to please comm me if they could which I'm very grateful for since I did get a few customers from her because of that. The thing is, a few weeks later, she made a bulletin talking about how happy she was so many commissions she bought were finished around the same time and posted all of them with the artists tagged in the post. It was honestly... quite a few, I'm talking like 9 pieces of art of her fursona and even a custom vtuber model she got of her sona. I was going to reply all happy for her, but it made me think... how much did she spend on those commissions?? So I went through all the artists socials to find their commission prices and came to a total of fucking $385!!! More than half of my current goal I'm trying to make through commissions to stay out of homelessness!! So I messaged Apple saying since I saw she bought a few commissions if she was interested in buying a comm from me. She replies saying "Ohh! I'd love to <333 but im just not in a place to buy any more comms right now :< sorry >.<!!" So I casually reply really? because it seems like your in the perfect place to help me out after already spending over $300 in commissions. She tells me she's sorry and really wishes someone would be able to help me out but she just wasn't that interested in my art or a custom to which I tell her she could've easily donated to my ko-fi which I have always had since she clearly has money to spend? To this, she straight up IP blocks me. So still fucking annoyed, I vented in a discord server I share with a few friends from being in a few shared CS together, saying how annoying it is rich assholes like her would drop half a thousand for a picture of their fursona but don't even blink twice at their so called friends. anyway, one of my friends takes a look at Apples th profile and notices she has a new bulletin up and sends me a screenshot, but anways the bulletin reads like "hey!! just saying, but please dont come into my dms acting like you know my financial situation better than i do, just because i buy a lot of commissions doesnt mean im made of money! and please dont think that me commisioning artist 1 means i hate artist 2? thats so weird, thanks!!!!!" and seeing all their subscribers just kissing her ass pissed me off so i made my own bulletin that just stated "i thought it was pretty fucking weird to know how bad ur friend's situation was and to go buy a bunch of comms instead of buying a comm from or even throwing a buck to help me out? like yeah im gonna think i know ur situation better than u, you stingy fuck!!!" Anyway, she mustve been block evading (which I reported her for) since she unblocked me, took a screenshot of my bulletin, then went on about how she lived in an abusive household; her dad had thrown her into a sink and chipped her tooth, bruised half her face and scarred it pretty badly. She bought a bunch of commissions immediately afterwards in a panic to make herself feel better, paying everything with her savings. Which to me.. isn't an excuse. Ive been hit and abused and still found scraps of money to pull together to give to mutuals who need it and Ive been bumping my own post like crazy and she had literal weeks to donate or comm me. Not to mention Ive had exmutuals of hers come to me saying that shes never donated anything to them either despite advertising their posts but always had money for plushies, comms and other crap, meaning Im not alone in thinking shes a stingy asshole. This is getting long, so here, tumblr AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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shitty-writers-blog · 8 months ago

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THE ONE WHERE YOU ASK FOR HELP [EP.1]

I also am still getting to know Colter Shaw. He is being written as I depict him so far, and hopefully, later on, I will be able to know how to write about him perfectly.

Hey guys, this is my first ever fanfic. I know it's not gonna be the best, so please be nice to me.

Please feel free to tell me how I can write better and maybe send it request? I hope you guys enjoy/like this first part.

Colter x F! Reader

You had been pacing back and forth unable to decide whether to worry about your brother who you haven’t heard from in a week, usually he would call after he arriving to his destination, your brother had caught the traveling bug at a young age like you mother. Unlike you who hated the thought of traveling due to all the responsibilities you had to take in as a young teenager, your mom was always traveling to New places whether it was in the country or international, your father had decided to spilt from you and the rest of the family because he’d grown tired of your mother’s antiques. If you weren’t so protective of your brother you would have left with your dad as well, but because your brother didn’t want to leave mom you ended up sacrificing your childhood, your father still provided financially, but emotionally or physically he wasn’t present.

During all this you had your best friend Colter Shaw to keep you afloat, soon y'all started dating junior year and continued all through your college journey it wasn’t, until Colter decided he wanted to be a rewardist and travel to find missing people for money, you tried making it work, but you were exhausted at the idea of him traveling and doing the long distance thing so you did something that you never wanted to do. You ended things with him, as he was in the middle of proposing, he tried to convince you to work with him, but you explained your issues with traveling and then that was it you never saw or spoke to Colter again.

That is until your brother potentially went missing, you still had Colter's number at least you hoped you thought to yourself, you kept messing with you lips, with furrowed eyebrows, thinking deeply about wondering if you were being to overprotective, that maybe he was alright and you’re just worked up over nothing because let’s be honest your brother wasn’t the best at calling you to assure you he’s fine.

“Fuck it.” You said as you picked up your phone from your bed and scrolled at your contact list until you found his name Shaw you pressed call and as it started to ring your heart started to beat fast and loud, you inhaled and exhaled as you continued to pace in your room, as you were about to hang up, you heard his voice.

“Y/n? Are you alright?” you heard his voice with a lace of worry and confusion, you face palmed yourself wincing at how stupid you probably were- “uh, hello? Y/n are you there?” he interrupted your train of thought “Oh um, yeah hey Colter!” You said a bit more enthusiastically than you intended you cringed at yourself as you shook your head in annoyance why can’t you act cool for once you thought to yourself. “um, sorry to bother you Colter and I wish we would talk under different circumstances, but um- are you still doing that rewards job by any chance?” you asked hoping he would be able to help you with your situation, you heard a chuckle as he answered back a simple yes and asked what was going on with you. You explained to him the situation and he told you how lucky you were because he had just finished a job, he told you how he’d drive up to your place since he was 2 hours away, you thanked him and then hung up the phone.

I decided it would be better if I got dressed, so I took a quick shower even used my favorite scented exfoliator because why not. And did my normal shower routine, then I decided to do my routine that I always do after a shower. I decided to clean up a bit even though it was already pretty clean, once I turned my wax melt on I heard the door bell ring. I straightened myself and checked myself in the mirror to make sure I looked okay, I took a deep breath in and I exhaled it as I opened the door. “Wow! Um, hey, I uh got lost- how is it that all these apartments look very identical?” I laughed Stepping to the side as a sign for him to enter, he smiled as he entered my house noticing I had a shoe rack by the door and he started to take his shoes off. “Thanks for taking your shoes off, most people who visit never do and I’m always to shy to say something.” I explain while shutting the door behind me, he nodded and gave a small smirk, “well I’m very observant and I’ve known you since we were young, every time I entered your room I always had to take my shoes off. Only difference now is I don’t have my own inside pair of slippers to put on.” I frowned a bit at the memory, but let out a breathy chuckle, “I bought a new pair for my brother Chance, for when he crashed at my place. You two have the same shoe size so you can have those,” Colter smiled nodding as a way to silently thank me, I walked up to my little storage closet and got the pair out and handed it to him, he went and sat on my couch and I sat distantly close to him.

I looked at the floor nervously because this was the first time in years we’ve seen each other and first time seeing him, I realized those feelings were still there towards him, and the fact that he had a major glow up. I bit my lip trying to come up with a topic to converse, but my mind wouldn’t stop going down memory lane about how we used to be inseparable and the last thing I said to him was no to becoming his wife. There has always been a part of me that regretted saying no, to breaking up with him just because he chose to do this for a living and the fact that it involved so much traveling, I just couldn’t go through what my mother put me through with Colter. “Y/n?” I looked up confused at him, “I asked you to voice your thoughts.” I looked away a bit flushed at how well he could read me, I even thought for a second he was able to read my mind. “oh well, it's nothing, really.” I tell him making eye contact with him for the first time in 10 minutes, he raised his eyebrow as a way to tell me he didn’t believe me and gave me that look he would always give me that said to spill it or he’d get it out of me. I rolled my eyes and told him how annoying he still was, and that made him laugh, “yeah okay, I hate to mention this, but your brother, why do you think he’s missing?” I sighed, putting my legs up to my chest, looking at my coffee table, taking a deep breath and bolting myself up, starting to pace back and forth, telling him everything I knew and didn’t know.

#colter shaw x reader #tracker imagines #colter shaw #colter shaw imagines

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sykestarot · 1 year ago

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messages meant to reach you

1-2-3 (left to right)

I DO NOT OWN THESE IMAGES

Hi guys! heres your weekly reading :) ! I hope you enjoy this and it resonates for you, also I found these pics and thought they were so cute lol ! Thanks for stopping by! <3

Pile 1

“does it ever make you sad to know that was 7 summers ago?” (The Lovers; 7 of wands; knight of cups (rx); knight of pentacles (rx); 9 of pentacles ; 6 of swords (rx))

Hi pile 1! Before I even started channeling, my cat was very interested in my tarot set up which usually he isn’t so maybe you have a kitty? Perhaps one that passed that misses you and wants you to know they are always with you. For you guys I feel a sense of heavy grief either in the recent past or the present. I also feel like you’ve been avoiding your own feelings about the whole situation. I feel a sense of disappointment from you that things didn’t work out the way you wanted. I feel like you either broke up with someone due to differences in worldviews or you might have had someone pass recently that you thought you had more time with. First of all if someone did pass recently, I am so sorry and I’m sending you so much love and light. But I do feel like this might've been a sudden thing, without warning, and you just want to continue on with life without processing just how traumatic it was for you. This person wants you to know that they love you so much and that when you're ready to unpack your grief and trauma they will be with you whether you realize it or not. Now if you had a break up recently I see this person really missing you. They dream about you and want you all to themselves again. I feel like they have pride though and won’t approach you again. I also feel like you’re genuinely done with this person though. Like this isn’t the first time you guys have had fights about this stuff and they really pushed you to your limit. This might’ve happened a while ago too and they’re just holding onto it and pulling on your energy. I really do feel like they’re wallowing in regret about how they treated you but like not enough to change. Like they regret it but they feel like they had to which is so fucked up in its own right. But I digress. I do think an energy cleanse would be best for you, however you choose to cleanse your energy and space will do. I also say get rid of any items they gifted/gave to you. I’m proud of you for knowing your worth and letting bygones be bygones. Signs: nice house; highways; red rusty pickup truck; red in general; water; creeks; fireflies; old dock; tall can beers; sentimental views (?)

Pile 2

“i aint even got the miles to trip on you” (2 of pentacles (rx); THe Lovers (rx); 3 of pentacles (rx); Wheel of Fortune (rx); knight of pentacles; 9 of pentacles (rx)) Hi pile 2! So for you guys I actually had to restart your pile a few times it was hard for me to really connect and get a message for you guys but when I did I understood why. The message coming through is from someone you simply don’t want to hear from lol. It’s probably an old partner that’s begged and pleaded to be back in your life multiple times and you just don’t care, which is such a power move. But yea overall this person just throws a pity party for themselves and how they lost a good thing and it sucks to be them I guess. But I wanted to get a message for you from your guides at the very least so heres that! All in all your guides are very happy and proud of you!! You’ve really put in the work pile 2! I see you enjoying financial blessings and i feel like your heart and mind have found peace. Whether your with someone or not I see you ina state of stability that you never thought you’d get to. Maybe things feel a little monotonous for you but I do feel like you enjoy your life and where you’re at right now! I also feel like you guys are experiencing things you never thought you would, like an engagement or getting the promotion/job you always wanted! I keep hearing that you made life your bitch LOL!! I also see you guys paying no mind to wagging tongues and you let people think whatever they want about you because at the end of the day you just don’t care. You not only enjoy your job but you enjoy your hobby’s your house, your car, and so on and so forth. I see though that you guys should work on being proud of yourself because YOU did that! No one else did!! Go treat yourself to something nice and sit back and relax pile 2 you deserve it fr!! Signs: restart button; push to start car; nice handwriting; minecraft; jeans; interior design; iron; birch wood; big healthy plants; big windows; elevators; CAPRICORN

Pile 3

"i'm in too deep and i'm trying to keep up above in my head instead of going under" (Judgment (rx); 6 of swords (rx); 4 of swords; 10 of swords; 2 of pentacles (rx); knight of swords (rx)) Hello Pile 3!! For you guys I see that you’re a really unique person and don’t really care about people's thoughts. I feel for your message though that you might be running in the wrong crowd or with the wrong people. I feel like you choose people based on whether or not they are in the same subgenre as you, or present the way you do. Which is understandable thinking if someone dresses the same they might have the same values but I see that the people in your life don’t. I also see that they just don’t care about you as much as you care about them. I believe that you know this somewhat or you have gut feelings about this, however I think you’re hoping one day they’ll pick you. I do see though that you know that they won’t and that you know you’re not meant to be there. I see that you just want to fit in with a group of people so badly, that you need validation that people like you. But honey, lots of people like you!! They just aren’t presenting the way you are. I see that for lack of better term “conventional” people admire your bold and unique expression of yourself. I see that you have prejudice towards these people and immediately put them in a box they you guys wouldn’t get along. Lemme tell you though as much as you advocate for not judging a book by it’s cover I feel you doing that to others. Maybe this is apart of your shadow that you need to work on. I get quite a youthful energy from you though, maybe you’re in highschool? You don’t have to change everything about your life tomorrow but you can make small steps. The only person who can make active change in your life is you! So get out there and do as much as you can without regrets! I promise you’ll enjoy the things that you didn’t think you would. Plus life is meant for mistakes and learning from them. Don’t let others perception of you ruin your experience on this earth! You got this pile 3, you’re a beautiful soul, let others see it. Signs: 111 ; wizard of oz; cheshire cat; leather; vests; studs; piercings; boots; alt fashion; old sedan; empty parking lots; cigarettes; nose rings; bleached hair

#spotify #pick a card reading #reading tarot #channeled message #channeled song #channeling #divination #law of attraction #pac #pap #spirituality #spiritual #spiritualgrowth #tarotcommunity #tarot reading #tarot #tarot cards #tarot card reading #channeled art

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fuwaprince · 3 months ago

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HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP PLEASE

Hi everybody, how are we doing? I hope you're enjoying the beginning of fall. Now that I'm done just being hospitable, can I just be honest? Can I vent? Can I be heard? Am I allowed to express my hurt? Can I please request for aid?

I am struggling to all hell. On and off the streets and been homeless since June 1st. I don't need resource information- I need immediate relief in the form of financial support. My partner and I are doing our best to be strong but being strong does not help when we're in the position where we're lucky just to eat, or do laundry. Over this summer I have been robbed of my possessions (cards, clothes, cash, toiletries, my phone... all of which I struggled to get to begin with). I have been sexually assaulted and put through violent situations. Detained because people LIED and I guess that means guilty until proven innocent. Woke up undressed for reasons unbenounced to me in a house fire surrounded by flames and SOMEHOW, unfortunately survived. Somehow contracted a disease that has no fucking cure. I have reached out to EVERYONE I KNOW BEGGING FOR HELP. I have taken so much shit in exchange for the smallest amount of help, for food, for access to medical attention or a shower or for privacy. I have been homeless with a 103 degree fucking fever that lasted for days and got no help because I was too sick to move. I crawled to a shower and sat on the floor hoping my brain wouldn't melt (which it begins to at such temperatures btw). All this did not happen because I'm "lazy" or "a bad woman".

I am a woman presenting person who probably should have just been born in the right body or into the right wealthy ass family. I am in my 20s. I have been told I would make a great prostitute but I wasn't even made for of- nor am I interested. My abusive ass neglectful ass family are not helping me through my situation and my mom tells me I deserve it so that she doesn't have to cry while listening to me explain how bad things have gotten. I have a stab wound on my neck. I have burns on my body. I did not put those there myself. How could anybody deserve any of that? How could anybody do nothing to help? How can you just look at me and pessimistically say, "good luck". Or give the apathetic and unhelpful "me too" response.

My partner lost his dog after the fire. Can you imagine having to pretend like that doesn't matter because you have to worry about food? Can you imagine trying to provide emotional support because red cross never called back after you requested for health services? When your school says they can't help you because it's out of the budget???? "LIMITED FUNDS" they say. I was on the Dean's honor roll for TWO semesters in a row, almost close to getting my BA (just a few classes away). I was a student leader. UNTIL I had to finally say fuck that shit and drop. I have enough credits to graduate but I do not see how the fuck I'm going to survive until 2025.

I need help! Please help? Words of encouragement are appreciated but please help me raise enough for a down payment for a car to live in. That is what I'm asking for, at least for winter. I would like an apartment but California is so outrageous with prices, all I can hope for realistically is a car. Anything would help. Nothing is expected.

Please rb this post, if you can, it helps.

Always remember to maintain your humanity and that love persists.

Garlic haters DNI

my paypal is @garyanne

#forreal if you don't like garlic then don't eat my adobo or sit at my makeshift dinner table because it will REEK to you #at least garlic exists #at least there's still squirrels to share almonds with #at least sometimes people give me eye contact lol #standards are low #expectations are negative #help?#crowdfunding

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kittygirl2210 · 4 months ago

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Stan Pines falls into the "second child" trap (small discussion brought to you by a second child)

Stan Pines discussion and why I think that he falls into the "second child" trap: courtesy of a second child. This is mostly based off of show details, I haven't brushed up on Lost Legends in a second. I believe Stan is the second twin and also second born child (if we say Shermie is younger than them, I'd put him as only a few years younger). A lot of adultification and pressure, which happens A LOT with first born children, is put on Ford by their parents, especially Filbrick, especially when it comes to get ting them out of the financial situation they're in and he wants Ford to "make it big" (evidence that I feel supports this same line of thinking is when Stan gets angry at Ford for " selfishly hoarding" his college money). Stan becomes the scapegoat second child, who is ALWAYS wrong no matter what, while Ford's the "golden child", who is infallible and never does anything wrong. Since we know very little about Shermie, I am at present putting him in the "baby of the family" category, who usually is doted upon and is sometimes seen as a "replacement" to the scapegoat second child. Shermie, however, is very much a weird outlier in this discussion.

Besides that, Stan seems to suffer from being the middle child, especially considering his actions as an adult. From what I've observed, he craves the validation and attention he did not receive as a kid and turns to reckless behaviour as a result (any attention is good attention). This, I feel, is also seen when Ford returns and refuses to thank him (which I DO think Ford should have thanked him, not to say he was wrong for that in particular), but also when the two family members he was now the closest to seemingly start to dote on Ford. He warns the kids to stay away from Ford because he's a "dangerous know-it-all" (although generally speaking, yes, Ford does wind people up in dangerous situations, there is a clear amount of jealousy expressed from Stan). He ends up running for mayor, because Dipper says Ford could be a good mayor. And when Ford half heartedly thanks him, then corrects his grammar because Ford ALWAYS has to be right, he snaps. Not to say that this isn't an indicator of any other kind of sibling dynamic, but as someone who has been in a sibling situation where children are disproportionately treated, and as the second child, I see a lot of how Stan reacts very similar to how I have felt.

#gravity falls #gravity falls stanley #stanley pines #stan pines #stanford pines #ford pines #gravity falls stanford

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figs-and-cigs · 3 months ago

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Ugh the poly fb groups are at it again. Shitting on hierarchy left and right. I get it, you had a bad experience with a married partner, add in seeing all the other stories of unethical behaviors, the constant criticism. So now the community seems to rally behind the idea that hierarchy=BAD.

So here's a rant about ETHICAL vs unethical Hierarchy in Polyamory.

Hierarchy is a relationship structure in which someone has (at least) one Primary partner. It is an agreement between a couple to put their relationship first either because they desire that structure or because it is necessary or both.

A married couple, for example, has a lot more to lose if their relationship ends than a couple who has a standing date once a week, or once a month. This could be in regard to finances, housing situations, familial relationships (like children), medical needs, and other long term goals. The relationship ending would mean a radical change in lifestyle for both parties (and any children involved).

When I say the relationship is put first, this is not to say other relationships lack value or importance, but that they function differently.

In unethical hierarchy the agreement to put the relationship first is usually based on fear. "We put our relationship first because we can't bear to ever lose each other, ever!" vs "over time our relationship has become structured around financial, parental, and long-term obligations we've made to each other."

While everyone experiences the fear of losing a relationship there is a slight difference between the emotional turmoil of keeping a relationship together at all costs vs. the conscious decision to make a relationship work because we've chosen to commit multiple aspects of our lives to each other. Neither is a guarantee the relationship will last forever but one is making decisions based on emotion while the other is based on reality.

The main difference between ethical and unethical hierarchy is the autonomy of the individuals within their other relationships. The reason hierarchy gets such a bad rep is because of the power imbalance a primary couple will enact on all "secondary" relationships. Any relationship with Veto Power is unethical.

In any relationship it is between the two individuals to make decisions for that relationship, a third party (like a spouse), or anyone outside of the relationship should never make decisions for the relationship.

My husband gets absolutely NO say in who I date, or how I spend my time with another person. Period. The moment we agreed to ethical non monogamous was the moment we agreed to allow each other the freedom and autonomy to make decisions about how our other individual relationships evolve.

This is where we can talk about the difference between agreements, boundaries, and rules.

Agreements are things a couple consciously chooses to do.

We've agreed that Saturdays are our date nights because that's when we have babysitting. We've agreed to raise this kid together. We agreed to create budgets for our finances, split bills, own a home, and have an emergency fund. We agreed to make financial decisions together. We agreed to be each other's emergency contacts and be privvy to each others medical needs. We agreed to parent together. We agreed to share a Google calendar. We agreed to be barrier free with each other but to use condoms with other partners.

There are often agreements with my other relationships too. Agreements in communication and when we see each other. What we do together, how are relationship is structured, and how "out" we are about the relationship.

Boundaries are things that I choose to do. I choose not to have sex on the first date. I don't enter a kink dynamic until a relationship has been established. Mondays are my rest days because I have chronic health issues. I don't answer the phone after midnight unless I'm out and about and it's my kid or husband. I don't agree to things I'm unable to do or am uncomfortable with. I use condoms with sexual partners except my husband. Every individual should have boundaries.

Now let's talk about rules. It's said again and again in the poly community that rules are unethical. This is because rules say what someone else can do. The problem with rules is that they take away from individual autonomy and can conflict with boundaries. Rules allow an outside party to dictate what happens in relationships. Veto Power and One Penis Policies are rules and are usually the main problems with unethical hierarchy.

If you noticed I have a personal boundary and agreement that are similar. My husband and I agreed to use condoms with other partners. This is an agreement and not a rule because it aligns with each of our individual boundaries. I choose to use condoms with partners who are not my husband. This is different from a rule because I can change my mind. Perhaps one day I decide I want to have barrier free sex with my play partner. The only thing is, because my husband and I made an agreement to not do that, I have also made the obligation to tell him about my change in boundary so as not the break the agreement. At which point my husband may then change his boundary. There's a good chance if I choose to be barrier free with another partner he would choose to use condoms in our relationship. It would be a rule if he said - "no, you can't do that," vs. "ok if you choose to do that, then I choose to adjust my boundary within our relationship. Our agreement to be barrier free needs to change." See the difference?

Hierarchy gets such a bad rep because of rules couples make to protect their relationship. "You can't date him because it makes me insecure." "You can't date her because I don't like her." "You can go out with them but you're not allowed to be emotionally involved." "We can only have sex with others if we do it together." "You can only date this person if we date them together." "You can't go to that restaurant, it's OUR restaurant!" Again, rules are unethical because they make decisions for relationships outside of the primary relationship.

This is the difference between ethical and unethical hierarchy. When there are rules that limit autonomy in other relationships.

"But don't agreements affect "secondary" relationships?"

Yes, and no. I like to think of agreements as a form of boundaries. Boundaries can be flexible (maybe I answer the phone after midnight because I was awake and you called and I felt like it.) Which means agreements, Consentual Boundaries made between two people, can have some flexibility. The discussion about barrier free sex being an example.

Another example could be in regards to finances. Perhaps my girlfriend wants to go to a show with me and asks if I can pay for my own ticket. I might not have budgeted for such an expense. My husband doesn't get to say no because he doesn't want me to go - I have to say no because my husband and I have financial obligations. Or perhaps I'm able to say yes because my husband was able to give me some of his dating budget.

In this regard, hierarchy may create some benefits for my other relationships. Imagine the same scenario but I am financially independent. Once upon a time I was a single mom. I had to say no to lots of dates because I couldn't afford to pay for my part. I had to cancel a lot of dates because I couldn't arrange babysitting - now I have a co-parent who is able to stay home with kiddo more consistently.

A while back I had a relationship end because I told her I couldn't stay the night Saturdays anymore after my husband's work schedule changed. This wasn't a surprise to her, I had said from the beginning that this was an agreement my husband and I had. I emphasized my desire to see her and what days/evenings I could still see her. While not directly said, it was obvious she saw this change as a form of "couples privilege" and thus unethical. Que my *eye roll*. I empathized with not wanting to lose our Saturday nights. But I continuously communicated that hubby and I hadn't had a date night in months due to his job, that the only night we have consistent babysitting is Saturdays. While quality time together is important for every relationship, it's incredibly important for us as co-parents to prioritize Saturday date nights.

It was clear she felt it was unfair that he got to see me almost every day (because we live together) while she and I had to put more direct effort into our schedules to see each other.

As anyone with a nesting partner knows, there's a huge difference between co-habitating together and conscientious quality time spent together. During that time I had the privilege to go out with her Saturday nights, on weekdays, and see her Sunday mornings. The "privilege" my husband had? He could work long hours without worrying about evening child care. Our time together was spent worrying about finances, how he could have quality time with kiddo, him passing out on the couch while we re-watched the same episode of the show because he fell asleep during it the day before. Sure, he saw me almost every day, but there was very little fun or quality time to be had. I got to see him stressed and exhausted.

My girlfriend at the time didn't realize she too had privileges. We both had flexible schedules to see each other multiple times a week. She didn't have to experience the finances stresses of trying to make ends meet at home. She didn't have to worry about kiddo's stress because dar was working so much. She didn't have to attend family therapy twice a week to help me and kiddo during this adjustment period. My gf got intentional quality time that was carefree, and fun. Coffee shop trips, art museum visits, exciting date nights.

I'm pretty sure she saw this change in Saturdays as a rule, or my husband "vetoing" one of our dates. The reality was my husband never said, "you have to stop seeing her on Saturdays." Instead *I* made the choice to uphold my original agreement to make Saturdays hubby's night. An agreement she was fully aware of from the beginning and one I explained multiple times. My primary relationships schedule is structured this way for a multitude of reasons, the main one being babysitting for kiddo.

Was it unfair couples privilege to cancel Saturday nights with her? Mmm maybe. Was it unethical? No. I argue and will continue to argue it would be unethical to not prioritize my relationship with my husband because our relationship ultimately impacts our kid. If our relationship suffers it could affect so many aspects of our lives but most importantly our child's. Period.

When she and I stopped speaking (which had more to do with communication problems than Saturdays), the only negative impact it has was on my emotional and mental health. It wasn't at the detriment of our finances, my home, kiddo's needs, or my other relationships. It sucked. That relationship was important to me, but it didn't have the same priority as my primary relationship.

There's a lot of talk about equality vs. equity in Polyamory. I might love my partners equally, but it's clear that my primary relationship requires more time, effort, and commitment than my other relationships. That doesn't mean I don't attempt to meet the required amount of time, effort, and commitments in my other relationships. Just that they're different.

I wrote a few posts recently about watching our friends going through divorces. These marriages vehemently opposed any form of hierarchy. Which is fine! I'm not trying to say hierarchy is a requirement or for everyone. However, as these divorces proceed we watch our friends worry about finances, housing arrangements, parental rights. As their marriages dissolve, that stress has also led to break ups in their other relationships. Polycules are falling apart.

I've read that there's a different between descriptive and prescriptive hierarchy. That a forced requirement of hierarchy is bad, but describing the relationship as hierarchial without any actual hierarchy is ok. Again *eye rolls*. Over and over again we've heard these non-hierarchial marriages are ending because there was a lack of commitment toward financial, parental, emotional, and scheduling needs. A wife needed a ride to the hospital, but the husband refused to cancel his date. One partner went on a vacation with their girlfriend, while the other partner had to work extra hour to make up for the lack of rent money. She became so rapt up in NRE she didn't come home for a week, and now he is the primary parent to their infant. They quit having fun together because "they see each other at home every night," and now the relationship has died.

Again, I'm not saying heirarchy would solve every problem, or that it's "the best" or every poly person should do it. I'm saying that every relationship requires a level of conscious intention. I know I'm being repetitive, but my husband and I made the intention and agreement to become co-parents, own a home together, intertwine finances etc. and with that came the decision to prioritize those things.

The good thing about these clear intentions is that it also helps define the boundaries within our other relationships. My partners KNOW they don't have to worry about my financial situation, my medical needs, kiddos well being. They know there's no expectations of us moving in together or having to wash my dirty dishes. While there will still be difficulties they're going to be different. Our time together often gets to be more fun, care free, and intentional. We know how we integrate into each other's lives without much worry about how it will affect our entire lives.

I'd argue it's unethical that the non-hierarchial marriage didn't prioritize their spouse before it led to divorce - leaving these partners in financial debt, homelessness, and struggles for child care. That the lack of priority also created enormous strain on the other relationships. His girlfriend felt obligated to let him move in, even though she didn't want a nesting partner. While her partners are happy to babysit, they can't commit to co-parenting. Their partner is becoming resentful because they can't afford date nights and had to take a second job.

Yes, heirarchy can be incredibly unethical. Failing to recognize the needs of a relationship and the way it's structurally evolved can also be unethical.

My final thought here is simply going to be that Hierarchy is not automatically unethical or bad. Like with anything there is nuance. Every relationship requires communication, consent, and intentionality. In Polyamory we consciously choose to have multiple relationships and with that comes a responsibility to recognize ethical and unethical behavior, needs, and the way each relationship is structured and integrated in each individual's life. Hierarchal, non-hierarchial, solo-poly, relationship anarchy, triads, quads, open or closed polycules etc. relationship are fluid and ever evolving but without clarity around agreements, boundaries, and needs they will fall apart.

End rant.

#polyamory #ethical non monogamy #polyamorous #polyamorous relationships #polyam #poly relationship #polyam dating #polyam life #polyamourous #nonmonogamy

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