#I am literally begging for my cats life

[gentlelarkspur]

This is my cat Hank. He's 9 years old and I love him like the stars.

Hank was diagnosed with lymphoma this week. It took about a month of blood tests, ultrasounds, a cytology, and an oncology visit.

I adopted Hank when I was in the middle of a mental health crisis, and I just needed something to give me a reason to be here. I drove from Los Angeles to Riverside CA because I had seen a gorgeous long-haired lilac pointed kitten that was going to be at a rescue event. By the time I got to the event, that kitten had already been adopted, but I stuck around to look at the others. My sister had come out to help me choose a kitten, and she was actually the one who picked up Hank. He crawled all over my sister and I and sat on my shoulder purring, and that's when I decided to take him home.

My sister is also the one who named him. We were both watching The Vlogbrothers together, and she named him Hank because he was curious, friendly, and loved "talking". He hates being alone, and you can always find him in a five foot radius of me or mom.

It doesn't matter what you're doing, he needs to be the center of attention. Which is only fair, I mean look at him:

Hank has seen me through a severe mental health crisis, my mother's stroke, two years of treatment for an autoimmune disorder that wrecked my body, the worst of the pandemic, and my bother's suicide. He means the world to me. The fact that a bunch of imaginary numbers in a computer somewhere can determine whether he even gets a CHANCE to beat this cancer is a horrific, awful thing that is tearing my heart apart. I can't do this alone.

Please reblog this.

Please share it.

If you're in a place to do so, please consider donating.

I know he's just one small cat in a world full of people and animals in need. But I'm the only voice this little furball has, so I'm pleading on his behalf: please help me help him have a fighting chance. There's no guarantee he can beat it, but without treatment then there's no chance at all. I am doing everything I can, but I can't do it alone.

Thank you.

[dngrcpckwithmurdericing]

Having a serious George Michael moment at two am.

[koshercosplay]

it's time for my yearly chanukah merchandise ratings! how are there always so many to choose from. as always, this year is a doozy and I am as bitter as ever lmao

this was quite literally labeled "hanukkah cone tree." gee I wonder which winter holiday is The One With The Trees. surely it's the jewish one with all the fire. let's make it blue and white just in case. 4/10 there is no excuse for this

why are the chairs so far apart. why is there nobody there. why are there so many grapes. what even are those green things. why is there soup. will the mysteries never cease. 7/10 purely because it's pretty

I for one welcome our jewish alien cousins. not sure what this has to do with chanukah but I want to hear about jewish life on mars so 8/10 friends come in out of the cold and have a latke with me

the more I looked at this, the worse it got. there's a literal christmas tree and tinsel but oh it's got blue lights so it's fine. and as we all know, children regularly hold fully lit candle menorahs with mittens while going door to door during a snowstorm. I guess who are we to stifle a child's latent desire for arson. 5/10 somebody save that poor dying kitten

this poor magen dovid is being forcefully converted to christianity and we need to help it. quick somebody put this on a sufganiyot stack. 4/10 we all know the intended target audience isn't interfaith families okay

do I even have to say it. please just. just stop. get One (1) Jew to weigh on your hanukkah products, I beg you. -392928373/10 walmart owes me a personal apology for making me see this with my own two eyeballs

I spent a full five minutes staring at this shirt desperately trying to make it make sense. I shouldn't have bothered. it's worse than the hebrew could ever be. 2/10 amposzu zusach mezchamal to you too

congratulations, once again you wrote gibberish. this says nothing. it's not chanukah, it's not happy holidays, it's nothing. the letters on the dreidel are an ACRONYM people! there's an order! 3/10 it's antisemitic that this has over 4,000 sales (thank you @quartzfox for sending this to me. now you all have to see it too.)

now these are CUTE. and the dreidel letters are in the correct order too, which is unfortunately impressive. 10/10 no notes, it has cats, would wear

(previous years 1, 2, 3)

[5sospenguinqueen]

Love You FURever | Toto Wolff x Vet! Reader

Summary: When Toto marries a vet, he realises his life consists of yelling about cars and fostering injured animals.

Fluff. Humour. Pinterest pics.

Requested: Yes by anon. Sorry this is only a small one

F1 Masterlist

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ynwolff just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, kimi.antonelli and others

ynwolff some friends from work

1,681 comments

maxverstappen1 sassy and jimmy said they’ve never enjoyed a vet visit so much

→ ynwolff bring them back anytime! such lovely cats

user toto’s plan to get max to mercedes is by making his wife befriend his cats liked by ynwolff

→ user ahah she liked. she’s so funny

lewishamilton roscoe says he can’t wait for his check-up

→ ynwolff i can’t wait to see my sweet boy

→ georgerussell63 i miss when i was your sweet boy

→ ynwolff i’ve been around you too long. you stopped being my sweet boy last year

albon_pets any room for more friends?

→ ynwolff there’s always room for f1 pets

→ user this just makes me think she set up her own clinic purely so she could look after the f1 animals

→ user agreed because she attends every race where a pet is so she can be on hand for them

charles_leclerc this is my sign to get a dog

→ user yes! charles dog dad era needed

mercedesamgf1 i thought we were friends… but you haven’t visited us for ages :(

→ ynwolff don’t make me tell my husband that you’re emotionally blackmailing me

→ mercedesamgf1 he told us to (and there’s no proof if we delete the comment)

→ ynwolff (i have it printed out)

→ user omfg she’s defo the funniest wag

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mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by ynwolff, georgerussell63 and others

mercedesamgf1 boss man hard at work

4,463 comments

ynwolff tell him not to look so serious. he’ll scare the children

→ totowolff my love, i can see your comments.

→ ynwolff when did you do this? why do you follow mercedes and your drivers and not ME!

→ user toto sleeping on the couch later liked by ynwolff

kimi.antonelli 😊

user i hope he’s trying to figure out how to fix the shit box that is the W15

user he’s such a grandpa with his tied sweaters

→ totowolff i am not a grandpa.

→ ynwolff so when you were complaining about your back aching and begging for a rub?

→ user i bet he doesn’t act like a grandpa at home, that’s how they ended up with a 6 year old

→ georgerussell63 guys, he can see these comments now fyi

user definitely the hottest team principal liked by ynwolff

→ totowolff with the hottest wife.

→ user omg they’re so down bad for each other that he’s breaking pr rules for her

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wolffcare just posted

liked by roscoelovescoco, albon_pets and others

wolffcare boss of the month

933 comments

ynwolff i paid them to post this. literally

→ wolffcare that only makes it like 5% less true

roscoelovescoco vets of thes years

charles_leclerc leo is looking forward to his first trip to the vets tomorrow

maxverstappen1 would recommend

lewishamilton 10/10

alex_albon the cats are begging me to make them fat so they have a reason to come visit you

→ ynwolff stop feeding them cheese

user why are all the f1 drivers here?

→ totowolff because this is my wife.

→ user when he claims you

→ user girl bffr

→ user starting to feel like toto only made an insta so he could join the drivers in praising her online

mercedesamgf1 if the w15 was an animal, we would trust you with it more than toto

→ totowolff my office. monday. 9am.

→ mercedesamgf1 crap

→ ynwolff they were complimenting me, my love

→ totowolff fine.

→ totowolff @/mercedesamgf1 make that 10am.

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ynwolff just posted

liked by lewishamilton, alex_albon and others

ynwolff my best friends for the weekend

3,311 comments

user omg the fact that she cropped out toto

totowolff liebling, are we no longer friends?

→ ynwolff you left your wet towel on the bed again so no

→ user oh so it’s not just my husband

→ user even millionaires piss off their wives

→ totowolff *billionaire.

roscoelovescoco my favourites grand prixs buddy

→ ynwolff my favourite bulldog

georgerussell63 offended that i’m not in this

→ ynwolff toto, your child is pestering me again

→ lewishamilton actually, i’m a little offended that I’m not in this either but bono is

→ ynwolff omg lewis i’m so sorry. i'll dedicate a whole post to you this weekend

→ georgerussell63 wow

user jack is so cute. he’s the perfect combination of toto and yn

→ totowolff yn did a great job, didn’t she?

→ ynwolff stop trying to convince me to have another

→ user omg he’s trying to get her to have more!

mercedesamgf1 we love having the three of you in the garage. brings us more luck

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totowolff just posted

liked by mercedesamgf1, ynwolff and others

totowolff gentleman, if you fall in love with a vet, she will give you the best family. but far too many animals in your home

4,477 comments

mercedesamgf1 the cutest family 🩵

lewishamilton is this the puppy that was going to be put down?

→ totowolff yes. yn rescued him and i couldn’t say no.

georgerussell63 so that makes one child, three cats, two hamsters, two cows and a puppy. what’s next?

→ ynwolff i really want a pig but toto says he doesn’t like the noise :(

→ user isn’t he trying to get you to have another baby? how is that noise okay?

albon_pets we should open up a zoo together

→ totowolff don’t give her ideas!

charles_leclerc omg when can we meet him!?

→ ynwolff he’ll be at the next couple of races

f1wags what a lovely picture of yn and jack

ynwolff you shouldn't call your son an animal. he’s only a little feral. he gets that from you

→ totowolff i watched you tear into a steak yesterday. not sure i’m the cause.

→ ynwolff uh, you were the cause of my craving for steak

→ totowolff who knew getting you pregnant made you such a carnivore.

→ user pregnant?!

→ user baby #2?!?!

→ user definitely not a grandpa

→ ynwolff toto!

→ totowolff this is why i didn’t want an instagram!

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Requests open! Now include Franco Colapinto and K Mag

Tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius

[soullumii]

sleepyhead | gale dekarios x afab!reader

(18+!!!) afab!reader. second person pov. literally just smut: oral (f receiving), piv, dirty talk, consensual somnophilia. gale lives to please as always

my first gale fic... this man has taken over my entire life.

2k words

Gale’s lips press against yours in the dark, gentle and coaxing. A push and pull. You blink blearily awake from slumber as his hand finds your waist, fingers curling into the fabric of your sleep shift. His brown hair falls over the two of you like a curtain, shielding you from the terrors of the darkness.  

“Mm hello,” you purr against his lips. “What time is it?” You ask when he pulls back. He looks a bit wild, pupils blown wide, his eyes practically look black even in the dim candlelight. He’s breathing heavily, his gaze traveling over you, heated, like the air surrounding fire. He doesn’t answer. 

“Gale?” you repeat, warmth pooling in your belly at the pure desperation on his face. At the want curling in his eyes like a flame.

“It’s late,” he murmurs, voice rough, as though he’s parched. “Though I cannot stop thinking about you. I must…” he trails off, mind moving faster than his mouth can.

One thing you love about Gale is his ability to talk for seemingly hours on end with such eloquence and poetry. But when he’s like this…already hard against your thigh, slowly rutting his hips in circles, captured within pleasure, the words seem to leave him. You love it just as much, if not more. 

He leans in and runs his nose along your throat, breath ghosting over your skin. His teeth graze you, and his tongue follows, licking a stripe up your throat. You moan shakily, cunt clenching around nothing. 

“What’s gotten into you?” You ask, though it’s more breath than substance. Your brain is already beginning to short circuit, especially when the hand on your waist travels down to your thigh, fingertips pressing into the muscle there. 

“You just looked so beautiful on the battlefield today… I tried to contain myself because we had so much to do, but… fuck,” he breathes this against your neck, desperate. He hardly ever uses such vulgar language. “I need you, love.” 

“So you really weren’t lying when you told me you were turned on by my fighting,” you say, surprised.

“I am a lot of things, darling, but a liar is not one of them.”

The sound of his inhale as he leans down to kiss you again sends more molten pleasure swirling through you. 

His hips press against yours, grinding against your clothed cunt in a steady rhythm. You moan into his mouth, your hands reaching up to clench at his sleep shirt stretched over his broad back. 

You’re still sleepy as his hand drifts to the hem of your shift. He slowly pulls it up your thighs, up over your breasts, revealing your undergarments. He paws at your waistband like a cat begging for food. You lift your hips so he can pull them down over your ass. He undoes the ties to your bralette and slides it off your shoulders. 

Gale kisses his way down your body, stopping to close his warm mouth over a nipple while his dexterous hand squeezes and tugs at the other. You moan lightly, pleasure easing through you. He hums appreciatively against your skin, and the vibrations travel pleasantly through you.

“Gale…” you half murmur half moan as he moves his mouth to your other nipple. “I can hardly stay awake…” You feel yourself slipping in and out of consciousness. The gentle chirping of the crickets outside your tent doesn’t help.

“Of course,” he says, leaning back. “We can stop.”

“No—no wait,” you stop him with a hand curled around his wrist. “You can keep going while I’m sleeping, I don’t mind.” 

His eyes darken, his tongue dipping out to wet his lips. “Really? Are you quite sure?”

You nod with a sleepy smile and settle back comfortably. “Mhm.” 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he says, pressing another kiss to your lips. 

Your eyes flutter shut, your breathing slowing as you succumb to your exhaustion. Your limbs feel heavy, even as Gale continues his way down your body. 

“You’re so gorgeous, so perfect,” he whispers into your skin. His fingers curl into your thighs before he slowly pulls them apart, baring yourself to him.

He runs his hands appreciatively up and down your thighs, squeezing and kneading before hooking them over his shoulders.

Gale presses a kiss to the inside of your right thigh before retreating. You feel his lips again a second later, just between your thigh and cunt, mere centimeters from where you’re wet and aching for him.

And then you feel his warm breath puffing against your core, and your body squirms impatiently. You peek an eye open to watch him.

He looks so handsome as he glances up at you, eyes soft, mouth twitched into a smirk. “I thought you were going to sleep.”

“I am,” you reply, closing your eyes again. “Just wanted to admire the view one last time.” 

He chuckles lowly, “Sweet dreams, darling.”

He doesn’t move for a while, and you find yourself drifting off in the stillness. Your breathing slows, your mind growing quiet as sleep takes over you.

---

The moment your breaths even out as your hands fall slack against your sides, Gale presses his face between your thighs. He uses the flat of his tongue to lick a long, hot stripe through your folds. You taste delicious on his tongue, and gods you’re so wet. You’re soaking his beard, and he’s hardly been between your thighs for longer than ten seconds.

He doesn’t care. You keep releasing cute little moans in your sleep as he takes you apart brick by brick. Or rather… lick by lick.

His hands grip your waist, keeping you close. Your hips buck involuntarily to meet his mouth, grinding against his face. Even in your sleep you’re seeking out pleasure from him. 

God forbid he won’t deliver.

He pulls back one of his hands to slide a finger into you. It goes easily. He adds another without any resistance. You’re so incredibly wet. He wants to remain between your thighs forever. Your sweet, slick arousal runs down his hand to his wrist, and he bends his head to lick it off. 

His hips rut against the floor of his tent, the act of eating you out so arousing to him he has to seek his own pleasure to mitigate the pain. He doesn’t mind. He’d rather see you cum over and over again before he ever does.

He slowly thrusts his fingers into you while mouthing at your clit, delighting in your shaky breaths and wanton moans. You look gorgeous, brows screwed together, sweat beading on your temple. You’re going to wake up soon, and damnit he’ll make sure it’s while you’re cumming.

---

Warmth kindles between your thighs, pleasure and arousal pooling deep in your belly, tingling in your toes and rising through you.

Sleep drifts away from you, hanging onto the recesses of your mind, but ultimately not strong enough against the building pleasure you feel. 

You chase the feeling, the promise of sweet release. Your surroundings slowly begin to materialize around you. The feeling of your bedroll clenched between your fingers, the undeniable feeling of a mouth between your legs, the sound of low, rumbling, appreciative moans that vibrate through you.

Even the sound of your own cries are registering in your mind. 

The melting pleasure collapses into one pinpoint. A supernova explodes within you as your clit is sucked diligently while the two, long fingers buried inside you hook to press against your g-spot. 

Your back bows, eyes flying open as you cum against Gale’s warm and inviting mouth with a cry of his name. He guides you through it with gentle laps of his tongue through your folds. He mumbles words of encouragement, but they’re lost against your skin. 

“Fuck,” you breathe. “Gale.”

“Mm.” You can practically feel his pride radiating off of him from making you come. 

He continues to lick you through it until you’re coming again, hands fisted in his hair as his lips suck once more on your clit, his fingers fucking into you. Your legs quiver atop his shoulders, your mind utterly fucked into emptiness.

When it’s all too much you push him away, breathing heavily, contented tears in your eyes.

“Holy shit,” you huff, trying to catch your breath. “Maybe you should wake me up like that more often.”

His eyes sparkle excitedly. “If that is what you wish, I’d be glad to.” 

“You are such a giver. You really should let me take care of you sometimes.”

He shrugs. “I like giving. It brings me great pleasure to reside between your thighs for as long as you can stand.”

You sigh at his fanciful words, but you appreciate his adoration all the same. He crawls forward as you lean up to kiss him, the taste of yourself on his tongue rekindling the fire in your gut. His hand winds its way into your hair, the other squeezes your hip. 

“I need you inside me,” you whisper against his lips. “Now.” 

He groans, fingers flexing in your hair. Your body jolts with arousal at the sweet tug. 

“Say no more,” Gale says. “Your wish is my command.”

He takes off his trousers then rolls you onto your stomach. His hands grip your hips, pulling your ass up and backwards, and his knee comes between your thighs to press them apart. 

He guides the head of his cock through your slick folds and your hips squirm in anticipation.

He leans across your back, pressing a kiss to your shoulder blade. “I wish you could see yourself on the battlefield. The way you look with someone else’s blood on your armor… The flush on your cheeks… The way you breathe… You’re so capable, so strong. I cannot help but stare.”

He eases his cock inside you and the two of you moan in tandem at the delightful feeling. Him, at your warmth. You, at the undeniable feeling of being filled. 

He bites lightly at your shoulder before whispering in your ear. “Sometimes I wish I could take you right there. In front of all of our friends and dead foes.”

You clench around him at his words, and he groans, hips snapping forward. You jolt against the bedroll, elbows digging into the feather down material. 

“Gale,” you whimper. 

He hums, “Yes. You’d be saying my name just. Like. That.” He delivers those three last words with hard thrusts, the sound of his skin slapping against yours echoing in the tent. 

He builds up the pace, fucking into you steadily. Your cheek squishes against your pillow as he fills you, your mind still sleepy but undeniably consumed by lust and love.

“What do you think? Would you like that, love? Would you like to be fucked in front of all our companions?” 

“Yes,” you breathe. “Yes, please, Gale. Need you—“

“Mm, that’s it,” he murmurs. His hand skates across your stomach as his warm fingers settle over your clit. “As much as I’d love to indulge the fantasy, I’m not sure I’d want them to watch.” 

He begins to circle your clit with reverence, in time with his thrusts as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge.

“I want you all to myself,” he grits. 

You cry out, melting against him, knees buckling as you reach your release. It rips through you, hard and fast. Unrelenting. A wildfire raging through your nerves. 

Gale chases after his own climax, thrusts growing sloppy and deeper, moans and praises spilling from his lips before he finally cums inside you, hips twitching. 

Your body trembles as the aftershocks roll through you. 

You collapse onto the bedroll, breathing heavily, and Gale pulls you into him. You both lie on your sides, him softening inside you. He buries kisses into your neck, his arms wrapped around your waist. 

“Are you all right?” he asks you, his thumb brushing comfortingly along your rib cage. 

“So good,” you respond, brain blissfully empty, as if the tadpole never existed. You already feel sleep crawling across your mind again, pulling you under. You yawn and grin happily, like a cat that’s gotten its warm milk. 

“Going back to bed already?” he teases, leaning up to press a kiss to your cheek. “I wear you out that much?” 

“Mhmm…”

“All right. Go to sleep darling. I’ll clean you up.”

You’re already halfway asleep when you feel his tongue dip into you once more, licking his cum out from inside you—

Oh well. You can catch up on sleep tomorrow.

[cvnt4him]

Izukus first time...

Grabbing a plan B!!

Izuku hurriedly jumped from building to building trying to rush to the nearest convenience store, he was on a mission and this mission was for the love of his life. He wouldn't fail you.

He jumped down into an alley next to the store before leveling his breathing and walking inside. He cleared his throat which caught the attention of the young girl at the front desk. She looked at him with a raised brow before her eyes blew wide, she got to see izuku with gray sweats on and a wrinkled black tank top. He kind of looked like bakugou [not that she knows who that is.]

She ate up the sight of izuku and bit her lip as he walked down every aisle he came to, he didn't bother reading the signs because he was in a hurry. He rushed down one then another before finding what he was looking for.

"yes! plan B, plan B, where could you be..."

He murmured to himself looking down the feminine hygiene aisle, he seen pads pregnancy tests tampons and many other things and he read every single name of everything that he could and none of them read plan B.

"what the hell??"

He was getting irritated, he had a job to do and wanted to get back to you as fast as possible to ensure not only that you were okay but that neither of you would get in trouble for even having sex and being in the same room unsupervised and without others in the first place.

He sighed in annoyance before walking up to the lady at the front desk who was happy to talk to the greenette. She smiled and perked her chest up to appear bigger. Sucks for her, izuku not only was not interested but didn't have time for her. Izuku was simply going to ask where he could find one before looking past the girl to see a plan B behind her. He was elated! He could finally get out of there and get back home to you!! He cleared his throat and gave her a polite smile before speaking,

"may I please have a plan B?"

She gives him a smile before her eyes widen. She looked him up and down and giggles, he felt rather uncomfortable but wouldn't let it show. He was nervous, anxious and terrified, he didn't have time to play games.

"what does a cutie pie like you need a plan B for??~"

She leaned against the table and smiled at him biting her lip and looking him up and down. Izuku tried not to let it show but he was getting very annoyed with everything. He had his mind set on two things. Grab plan B. Head home to girlfriend. That was his mission yet it was being stalled by some fucking lady who won't do her god damn job and give him what he's trying to pay for.

He sighs heavily to himself, the anger and annoyance threatening to spill from him if he uttered another word.

"my girlfriend."

The lady's smile falters as she looks him up and down once more before scoffing and grabbing the plan B with a smirk, she slowly handed it to him before yanking it out of his hand. Izuku looked at her with the most spiteful look in the world. He was literally mean mugging tf out of this girl chat. Stop why am I breaking character...

He groaned before standing on one leg with a hand on his hip and a shrug to his arms. What the hell was that for. He has someone to be, he was being rather polite, and he didn't have time for this. So why the fuck was she playing with him like he's a cat begging for a treat?

"money? Cutie pie?~"

She flirts with him, twirling one of her fingers in her hair and holding the box behind her back.

"you have to pay, big boy. However, there is another way you could pay for this.. if you don't have the money~"

She hints to the box, biting her lip and giggling. Izuku could not believe he was even stomaching this bullshit. He wanted to yell at this bitch and put her in her place, but he didn't have time for that. He wanted what was his so he could make it back to you.

"I'm perfectly capable of paying thank you."

He slams the money on the table making her jump and clear he throat. He gave her a rather forced smile with his hand out asking for the box that was now rightfully his now that he technically paid for it.

"fine. Whatever."

She rolled her eyes dropping the box in his hands before going to the back to 'check storage's or whatever the fuck. Izuku truly did not care, as long as this bitch got the message and left him the fuck alone so he could get back to you, he was as fit as a fiddle.

Izuku left the store before jumping on a trash bin and climbing on top of one building and jumping away. He was trying to make it back to you as quickly as possible and this dumb fucking whorish ass walking STD was wasting his time. He groaned to himself thinking about it. But it'd all be worth it once he got to lay in your arms!

He finally made it back to his window before bursting through it, he nearly fell over on to the floor due to how fast he was going he caught himself on the bed before looking around, he expected you to have gotten up to wash all of the cum off and out of you so he checked the bathroom. No sign of you, he checked his closet, under his bed and he even quietly opened his dorm door to see if you'd walked out just now because he took too long.

That was izukus first thought, that you had left because of how long it took. He sighed defeated, thinking of how much faster he could've been if that dumb, slut faced, glory hole, HIV having bitch hadn't wasted his time.

He set the box down on his bed side table before getting in bed. He sat down and instantly felt your weight in the bed. He whipped his head around to see you underneath his cover with your head covered snoring lowly and completely knocked the fuck out.

He chuckled to himself and let out a relieved breath. Izuku was so glad you were still there, so not only was he not too late, but you had simply just fallen asleep in his bed! He chuckled to himself before taking his shoes off, then his sweats, and finally his tank top, leaving him in his boxers. He scooted closer to you and grabbed you by your hips to get you as close as possible.

You groan and try to scoot away, you were kind of sweaty due to being underneath the cover and it was kind of warm in his room due to him leaving his window open so he could have an opening to come into. He didn't care how sweaty or sticky or icky you were or felt he wanted to be as close as possible. He kissed your sticky forehead and laid his head on top of yours sighing in content. He could finally lay with his girlfriend in peace.

He chuckles to himself as he slowly drifted off to sleep thinking about how he can't wait to tell you about his adventures of grabbing your plan B.

[yanderemommabean]

Drider Mahito please mama I am begging on my hands and knees

The spider crawls forward, humming and tilting his head as he examines a few spots of his surroundings. A small bush here, a skittering critter over there, and of course a terrified bounding deer that’s trying to avoid the fate of the current one dangling and bleeding in the creature's mouth. 

He’s so excited,the electricity thrumming over his skin. He wants to catch as many meals as he can, he’s sure if he catches the most then things will go just as planned! 

Mahito was positive that all he needed to do was show he could hunt, gather, and track to be able to win your heart. He’s kept an eye on you for about a month now, watched you celebrate a holiday here and there, and was just in awe. You’re so intriguing. Most humans have boring and too bland of a life for him to care for, but you…You have a way about you. The way you carry yourself, the way you stand up to people despite their rank in your nest, the way you favor one thing yet despise another. 

He wonders if you’re the kind to appreciate the beauties of eating one's family members. He could scoop up that pesky relative who questions too much, you seem to have an ire of sorts towards them. 

Ah, maybe as a first courting sort of gift. For now he has to at least get his feet in the door! 

Maybe you’d like that street cat as well? You cuddle the other ones though…mmm…No, best to leave it be. You humans have weird ways to show some creatures affection, and others horror and disdain. 

Though, he supposes that's every creature. 

Trudging around in the trees, he hums a small tune and waves to the other Driders and Nagas, finding their meals and their bones to chew on. Some wave with a smile, others move on with their eyes down or a soured look on their faces. 

They’re smart. They see the markings that Mahito bears and know to stay a good distance. He has a reputation for mauling and using his venom just because some dare to look him in the eye. But that doesn't mean he’s a monster! What? He can’t have fun and play around?! 

A crackle of leaves and twins makes everyone alert, and a wide, almost manic smile grows on Mahitos face. It's you! That scent, that heart beat, the heat he can see on your flesh-It’s you! Oh he can't wait! He can’t wait! 

He scurries forward, blood and meat dripping down his chin and chest as he hurries toward you, pupils wide and wild as he manages to pinpoint exactly where you are. Ah! Now that he’s this close, he’s suddenly nervous! 

But you look so pretty, so delicate, so easy to break and eat and devour if you were more of his prey….

Thankfully you’re his mate! Or, well, you will be! See, he isn’t keen on being told no to something he desperately wants. Be it food, territory, or a way to be with you every single day for the rest of his life. 

You’ll accept, you’ll come home with him, learn his name and learn to stay inside at all times when he isn’t beside you. You’ll kiss and laugh and you’ll tell him how much you love him, how he’s such a good boy for you, how he’s such a hard working hunter who deserves your attention and love and- 

He’s so lost in his excitement he doesn't hear the horrified screams you make as he drops the raw meat and bones at your feet. He just grins, a large tongue coming to swipe at his blood stained teeth as he waits like a dog for your answer and your praise. Surely you see how hard he’s worked on this right?! 

Oh…you’re…scurrying away again? 

Well that’s rather ungrateful don’t you think? 

After everything he’s done? 

His expression sours, but he doesn’t let you get away as he easily gets ahead of you, lifting you up with ease as you dangle in his grasp, begging for your life and terrified of the creature holding your life in his hands, literally. 

“Insolent little wretch. I swear. I did all of this and you’re just going to turn away?!” he hisses, teeth coming close to nipping your skin as you feel your heart seize in your chest. Your voice, quivering and weak, speaks out as he dangles you higher, wanting to see the fear in your eyes for denying him your courtship. 

“Please don’t kill me”. What? What the fuck are you talking about?! Why would you assume-

It clicks. You see him as a predator on the hunt rather than a mate to be loved by. Huh. How did you ever come to that conclusion? It’s like you think he’d eat your bone marrow or something! 

Then there’s a simple solution to this! He just holds you in his hand, tight and firm, carrying you and your wriggling body away to the dark edges of his territory as he explains how he’ll prove himself. 

It’s easy! You just have to let him show you how much he wants you! Well, it's more of a need at this point. He went feral just thinking of you with some other mate, human or not. And if those Naga's want their tails intact they’ll know to keep their distance.

-Mommabean (I hope you enjoyed!)

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Getting Hannibal Drunk

Y/N and Will thought it would be a great idea to get their boyfriend drunk. 

Well Y/N did.

“Will, please?” Y/N begged. He shook his head, “What if he tells us all his secrets and we become accomplices?” “Will, you’ve literally killed people.”

It took a whole week for Will to agree that it was a good idea. 

“So Han, we were thinking that it would be a good idea to get drunk tonight and have fun.” He looked at his two partners suspiciously. “What?” “You wanna get me drunk so I'll tell you everything.” “No, that's what we’re afraid of.” Will says. 

Hannibal was easy to get drunk once you gave him anything else besides Wine and Whiskey. 

Will’s jaw was dropped as Hannibal and Y/N giggled like school girls and whispered in each other’s ears. 

He decided to stay sober so nothing bad would happen. 

“That’s what he did today at a crime scene.” Hanni exclaims as he and Y/N were talking about Will being overprotective of them.

“No, really?” She whispered and looked over at Will as he stared at them with an eyebrow raised. “You know I can hear you two right?” 

Hanni looked at him. “I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary at the scene today.” Hannibal gave him a “really, bitch?” look. “You literally didn’t even want me going near the woods cuz you were afraid that I would get hurt.” “Or that you might get kidnapped.” Y/N pointed out. Hanni nodded.

“Well you two are the light of my life. I won’t let anything happen to you.” “Will, that was cheesy.” Y/N  said. Hannibal nodded, “So cheesy.” 

“Will, I can kill people.” Will looked at him unimpressed by his comment. 

“Let me do your skincare routine.” Y/N exclaimed and stood up. “You want to wash my face?” She nodded. “Am I ugly to you?” He asked and almost had tears. 

Y/N shook her head and took Hannibal’s hands. “You are sexy but you need to start cleansing.” 

Will smiled as Y/N convinced him to let her clean his skin. 

Hannibal stood in the bathroom with a mask on his face. Will was trying not to laugh. 

“Keep it on for 15 minutes.” She told Hannibal. He checked himself out in the mirror. “This feels weird.”

Will couldn’t hold back his laugh. Hannibal looked over at him, “Something funny, Will?” “No, you look good.” The man couldn’t hold back his laugh.

Ended up taking a picture of his lovers in their face masks. 

It’s now his lockscreen. 

 Hannibal of course had to bake for his lovers.

“2 shots of Vodka.” Will looked at the older man weird. “I showed him the vine.” Y/N said, giggling. “The What?” 

As the food was in the oven, Hanni looked at Will. Will looked back at him, “You’re so cute.” Hanni said as he pinched the man’s cheek. 

Will pulled away and rubbed his cheek. Y/N giggled and pulled on his other cheek. “He’s such a puppy.” 

Y/N knew that Will secretly loved to be called Puppy. 

“Puppy? That’s a new one. I like it!” Will then glared at Y/N for calling him that in front of Hannibal. 

“Well Y/N loves to be called kitten.” Will said with a smirk. Panties dropped. 

Y/N  glared at him as Hannibal chuckled. “You two do fight like cats and dogs sometimes.” 

Once the food was done Will decided to get it out being the only sober one. 

“Smells good.” Y/N said. Will nodded. 

“I know. I’m the best cook around.” Hannibal said cockily. “Hanni, there fucking cheese sticks.” 

Sober Hanni would never let his 2 lovers eat such a thing. 

Y/N and Will ate them up as Hanni watched them. He had a drunken smile on his face and he couldn’t believe the two most precious people in the world were his.

[void-bitten-ghost]

Husk going through a few of Angel's 'films' to try and figure out what the spider likes

Angel finding him hours later with popcorn watching some other Valentino Directed Shit that didn't feature him because, although Angel practically Makes whatever production he's in, there was only so much fake shit Husk could watch of his favourite demon without getting angry at the poorly hidden marks he could see in the florescent lighting

"Ya know," Husk says around a handful of salted popcorn, offering Angel some after he plopped himself down next to him. "That shitstained prick of a moth wouldn't be anywhere without you making his shitty scripts work."

"I know right," he beams, cuddling into the cat while taking a handful for himself. "He thinks he's such hot shit, try making an entire scene out of the words 'husband' and 'begging'. Begging for what? His life? To get fucked? Both? Am I a househusband? Am I waiting for My Husband? He literally gives me nothing to work with."

"At least you got a plot going in most of yours," Husk comments, throwing a few pieces at the screen. "This bitch ain't even trying."

Anyway, yeah, date night ripping apart Angel's boss (I wish I meant literally)

[speakofthedebbie]

@manicali still inspiring me to chase my dreams so have some hazbin hotel incorrect quotes i made a while ago + four actually new ones (dividers cuz the last one hurt my eyes lol)

---

alastor: overall, id say that experience was a net positive! vaggie: YOU KILLED AN ENTIRE BLOODLINE! alastor: net positive

kill em with kindness saga

charlie: if you kill someone with anything, kill em with kindness! angel: instructions unclear, i killed them with a tommy gun named kindness

---

vaggie: alastor, why the fuck is there a dead sinner at our dining table?!? alastor: first of all, how dare you assume it was me- vaggie: literally who else would it be. alastor: -second of all, charlie told us the other day to "kill em with kindness" so i baked them a pie alastor: it was poisoned

---

alastor: i toe the line between confidence and arrogance every day lucifer: i thought we all agreed that you are like. firmly on the arrogance side

--- (i altered the next one but you wouldnt know that)

alastor: you roughhouse with a guy one time and suddenly youre in timeout vaggie: alastor, you tried to kill him. and he was a guest alastor: key word being tried. hes still kicking, so i think i shouldnt be in trouble vaggie: do you know how many fucked up people would be walking the streets if that was how the world worked? alastor: i know. im one of them

---

alastor: i only kill people who kinda deserved it vaggie: then whats with the dead sinner at your feet? alastor: he was saying something about women belonging in the kitchen vaggie: vaggie: ...fair

---

charlie: al, what are you doing? alastor: stress release! charlie: ...youre stabbing a very life-like doll of my dad alastor: as i said, stress release!

---(the hotel needs a therapist frfr)

lucifer: who doesnt have a bit of existential dread in the morning? charlie: ...everyone??? husk: thats not normal? alastor: damn it angel: fuck! vaggie: oof niffty: *maniacal laughter in the corner* charlie: should i call someone???

---(charlie please get everyone a therapist trust exercises arent enough)

charlie: and what do we do when we feel overwhelmed? angel: drugs! alastor: go on a murder spree! niffty: a roach murder spree! lucifer: self-isolate for millennia! husk: drink until i forget what feelings are vaggie: irrationally hate on everyone! charlie: no!

---(luci the typa guy to talk to his cat frfr. maybe he actually understands her idk) [these next ones are actually new. yeah i had a bit of a backlog]

lucifer: hmm.. what about you, keekee? keekee: meow lucifer: my thoughts exactly

---

lucifer: pancakes are the best breakfast food! alastor: id beg to differ lucifer: Then beg.

---

lucifer: shower thoughts in the rain are still shower thoughts. if you think about it alastor: why am i in love with you again lucifer: i ask myself that question everyday :)

---

alastor: what can i say, i aim to please lucifer: you have never said a nice thing to me in your life alastor: i love you :) lucifer: you have said one nice thing to me in your life

oki bye

[ponyosmom35]

friendly debates

Simon Ghost Riley x reader

Liability series chapter 9!

summary: debating with Soap at the dinner table makes even Ghost laugh.

warnings: none, super fluffy

Liability masterlist:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

“Dogs are superior by a longshot. They have more personality when it comes to their breed, and not every dog is the same. Some are really friendly and kind, and others will maul you to death. Cats are just... Cats” Soap explains, watching her eyes widen in response to him. The pair had been arguing about this for ten minutes when Gaz had mentioned his partner wanting to get a pet. Which he now regretted bringing up. 

“are you shitting me Johnny? what are you even saying! all dogs are the exact same, they love you, they follow you around, they need you. Cats each have distinct personalities, never met two similar in my life!”

“That's where you're wrong. Dogs all have different personalities Cats are the exact same. They all act like little shits, they look at you, meow, and then claw up your stuff and destroy it. Plus, dogs aren't dicks like cats are.”

“All of the dogs I had growing up were the same, they're lovable don't get me wrong! But they chose their person and they love them, you don't have to work for it. With a cat you've got to earn their respect and their love, it's something you have to work for, meaning its more worthwhile to own a cat” she defends

“They make you earn their trust and affection because they are the true assholes. Dogs are way better than cats”

Kyle makes eye contact with Price and Ghost as they enter the room, he runs over and grabs them “you guys gotta hear this” 

“sometimes they are assholes, I'll admit it. But that's personality baby! I swear one day I'm gonna have like five cats” she says, trying to keep her cool as Price and Ghost sit down next to them. She glances at Ghost sitting across from her and qucikly looks back to Johnny.

“I hate cats. I swear if you get a cat I'm gonna go apeshit on you”

“are you asking me to chose between you and the cats?”

“Yes, that's exactly what I'm asking”

“cats every time” she answers without hesitation, causing the table to erupt in laughter. All but one, smiling at her antics. 

“Damn. You're brutal” Kyle comments 

“don't fuck with me about cats suds! I warned you when you brought it up” She says pointing at Soap. Price laughs at her choice of nickname. 

“I'm telling ya, some of these cats are just the absolute bane of my existence. Especially when you have your hands full and they jump up on top of you and just dig their claws into you. It's torture”

“I'm sorry is the sergeant mactavish really comparing a cat to literal torture?” She asks as she giggles “you’re admtting that you’re afraid of little kitty cats? All you’ve done is give me ideas” 

“You wouldn't dare..., no. Anything but those cats, I beg of you”

“too late you've already gone too far” she shrugs 

“Noooooooooo! Have mercy, you devil!”

“funny” she responds, picking up a strand of her ginger hair. The men around her laugh loudly.

“Okay enough about cats, how about this, is soup cereal?” Gaz asks egging them on.

“Soup? I think it's more like a savory form of cereal” Soap nods, answering simply. 

“what the fuck did you just say? are you insane?” she asks

“It's literally a bowl, of liquid, and you eat it. That's just savory cereal”

“Johnny I am seriously questioning your sanity right now” she says seriously 

“You're questioning my sanity for calling soup a savory cereal? It is literally savory cereal.”

“okay repeat yourself one more time”

“Soup. Is. Savory. Cereal.” he says, earning a laugh from Ghost himself. 

“you're psychotic! soup is hot, cereal isn't”

“Soup can be hot, but it doesn't have to be. Do you think cold soup doesn't exist?”

“name literally one” she demands 

“Cold tomato soup.”

“Johnny tomato soup isn't cold” Price interjects “I've drank cold canned tomato soup” Soap shrugs 

“Thats disgusting” she cringes 

“Soup is savory cereal, LT what do you say? Back me up on this” Soap says wrapping an arm around Ghost’s shoulder. 

“You out of your right fuckin mind if you think soup is cereal” Ghost states causing the entire table to erupt in laughter. She smiles to herself as Soap continues to defend himself, clearly seeing out numebred he was. She makes eye contact with Ghost once again, accidently as their legs brush against eachtoher. She utters an apology and holds her hands to her cheeks, resting on them as she attmpets to hide her blushing face. 

Simon sits back with his arms crossed as he pretends to listen to the ridiclous claims the sergeant was making. He couldn’t help but look at her, he watched as she argued so passioantly about the simple topics. She was funny, a side he hadn’t seen from her before. She was charming, and sarcastic and quick witted. He’d always wondered why his teammates seemed to love her so much, now he understood the appeal. She was interesting, and she could hold her own. Still feeling bad about his behavior last week, he decides that he would apoligize. She didn’t deserve it.

chapter 10:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/734021889324974080/ghost-to-the-rescue?source=share

[asliceofzosan]

i'm thinking of sanji growing up with a pet cat at the baratie.

how sanji finds him hungry and cold and shivering on his doorstep. he's frighteningly thin, almost as if a single gust of wind could turn his bones to dust. a chill runs through sanji's spine as he picks up the little green and black kitten — something like a distant memory — of rationing out tiny portions and drying water skeins and the rumble rumble rumble of his stomach as it begs him for more food to eat. just one more crumb. maybe it would sate his hunger.

so he takes the little kitten in, nurses him back to health, and endures the scolding from zeff for bringing the little stray in. sanji gets his reparation by pretending not to see zeff bottle feed the kitten when he was too weak to stand. he doesn't try to hide his knowing smile when he and patty find zeff passed out in his office chair, the little kitten curled up on his lap as it took shallow breaths in his sleep.

sanji took to calling the kitten marimo. he never saw a green kitten before, and certainly one not as fluffy as him once he was regaining his strength. marimo was playful and mighty mischievous. just like every other cat, his life's mission was to rile sanji up with each vase knocked over and each cat tree he refuses to use in favor of the box it came in.

but sanji adored his little marimo.

he always made sure he was well fed and quenched. not a single day went by where marimo didn't have a bite to eat. it haunts his dreams still. when baby marimo was shaking so much in his hands, sanji was afraid he might break him if he moved too fast. now he was a fierce cat, always lazily wrapping himself around sanji's legs when he's waiting tables or doing prep work in the kitchen.

marimo pretends he's not protective. but he's bared his fangs at more people than sanji could count. carne's got the scars on his arms to prove it too. sometimes sanji would catch the little rascal with a small paring knife in his mouth to chase one of the poor line cooks with.

despite his chilly attitude towards him when others are around, at night marimo would already be curled up on sanji's pillow, purring and purring until his owner was sound asleep. sometimes sanji would pull marimo onto his lap and brush him while humming a sea shanty zeff taught him long ago. he cherishes these quiet moments with the once hungry little kitten.

he doesn't want to admit it out loud — and maybe he never will — but marimo gave him another reason for living everyday.

so when sanji found a naked green-haired man where marimo is supposed to be on his bed, it should be understandable that he kicked the guy straight into the wall, right?

"who?!?" sanji couldn't even finish his question, he was hysterical that a naked man was in his bedroom! he long dreamed for a beautiful woman on his bed ever since he hit puberty. this is not how he wanted this to go. not at all. the strange man thankfully got tangled in sanji's bedsheets (note to self: must wash and/or burn those sheets now) when sanji landed a mouton shot to his chest.

but most importantly...

where the fuck was his cat?!?

"i should have dressed first, huh?" the man says through a pained groan. sanji somehow found himself feeling sorry for him, but only for a split second, because he was back to glaring at the stranger as menacingly as he could. sanji watched him warily, trying his best not to stare at his bare chest.

"who are you and what have you done to my cat?"

the man decided then to open his eyes and sanji let out a small gasp.

gray eyes.

his marimo had gray eyes exactly that shade.

"you know, don't you?" the man says, not looking the least bit afraid even after sanji literally kicked him in the chest. sanji backed away when he stood up, the blanket still wrapped loosely around his frame. "you know who i am, cook."

"no i don't!" but even sanji could admit that his tone wavered with each step the man took towards him. "if this is some fucking prank, i'll kick your ass again!"

"careful, curly." the man smirks, baring razor sharp fangs. "cats like to scratch."

and within the blink of an eye, the man was gone. an indignant meow sounded from the pile of blankets at sanji's feet. without really thinking, sanji knelt down and lifted the blanket up. marimo laid there, limbs paws tucked up against his body, and licking one of his paws nonchalantly.

"please tell me i'm dreaming," sanji murmured, running a single hand through his hair. marimo just tilted his head at him, slinking out of the blanket fortress and onto sanji's lap. sanji looked down and saw marimo staring straight up at him, those same gray eyes he saw on the stranger boring holes into his soul. sanji couldn't bring himself to look away.

because something tells him that he might get a visit from the green haired man again very soon.

or maybe he never left.

[thefuzzzz]

What Pets I Think Different Karasuno Ships Would Have In The Future:

KageHina would have a turtle for reasons I do not know and cannot confirm but just suspect deep in my heart. Like, Hinata seems like the type to think turtles are cool and Kageyama seems like the type of guy to really like reptiles (they’re autistic. bite me.) Turtles can be left alone for a while, as long as they have food, water, the right habitat and someone to at least check in on them daily, so I think it would fit their super fast paced pro volleyball player lives.

DaiSuga would have this giant ass ex-police dog that retired after working with Daichi for a while. It’d be a really sweet, but huge, German shepherd that lives only to torment Suga. It’s Daichi’s dog, but will happily stand directly under Suga’s feet while he’s trying to do literally anything. Suga pretends to hate it, but Daichi has like a million of those “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” pictures of the two of them being pals when Suga thinks no one is looking. Sometimes Daichi brings his huge dog with him when he drives to pick Suga up from the school. All the kids love that dog, and Suga bends and lets Daichi bring it for career day one day. The kids lose their minds.

TsukiYama would have Yamaguchi’s childhood dog that I SWEAR he had in the manga, but I just googled it and I may be crazy or mixing him up with someone else. Either way, he has a childhood dog now. It’s this mega-old Shiba that they’re both convinced will outlive them. Tsukishima pretends to be indifferent about the dog, but he treats it like a king when no one is looking. They also have like a lizard or something because they seem like the types to have a lizard. Maybe like a frog. Idk, but a reptile of some kind that Tsukishima just stares at sometimes.

AsaNoya would have two cats (Asahi’s) and a dog (Noya’s). It took the two of them a while to settle down, due to the nature of their careers, but after they did Asahi kept finding cats outside their house and begging Noya to let him keep them. Noya, of course, folds. They're both pretty scuffed-up alley cats, but they adjust to domestic life. I imagine that they’re both special needs cats of some kind and Asahi takes insanely good care of them. Noya decides that he needs a little high-energy friend, and they get a border collie. Noya very frequently goes on runs and stuff with it while Asahi stays home and cuddles with his cats. The dog is very gentle with the cats, and they like to cuddle pile while their humans take a million pictures of them.

TanaKiyo would have literally the dumbest looking pit bull with the biggest heart and a super sassy pretty white cat. The pittie is a super sweet older dog that Tanaka had for a long time, but is still super playful and silly. The cat is Kiyoko’s little princess, and is treated as such. That cat is a menace. Constantly antagonizes everyone and is so mean for no reason. Tanaka threatens to sell it daily. The only thing stopping him is how much Kiyoko loves it.

(P.S. I haven’t watched the show in a while and am just going through my annual summer Haikyuu withdrawals, so please excuse anything that’s OOC. Also, sorry if there’s a ship you don’t particularly like. I’m a huge multishipper, and would love to see your interpretations of other ships in the replies or reblogs!!! I sadly don’t know enough about the other teams to make one of these for them, so feel free to ham it up and make one of your own! Tag me tho cuz I wanna see lol)

[yuri-is-online]

Hi hope you have a nice day.

I’d like to request prompt 9 with azul , ace and epel

Please feel free to ignore this

9. You weren't technically invited to this event but it's a Masquerade! It's not like anyone will notice or care if you sneak in, so you do just that and find a really depressed friend of yours lamenting they won't get to dance with their crush.

My dear friend there is no need to be so shy, I asked for requests. You have no need to ask me to ignore you! Hold your head high, you are more than welcome here ⊂(・ヮ・⊂)

As a note I got a separate request for this prompt from Azul's pov which I still intend to write and post in addition to this, but if said requester wishes for an additional character they are more than welcome to send a message, there is no time limit on that.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, I could not for the fucking life of me find any of the music I wanted to use for Azul. No piano cover for the first song and then no instrumental version of "Part of Your World" from Dreamlight Valley; why that isn't on youtube when it is my literal favorite arrangement of the song I couldn't tell you smh. I did manage to find something close to it though... The rest of the event requests can be found on my masterlist.

Azul

Magic shmagic, you have got to be some sort of wizard with just how well you managed to weasel your way into this stupid party. No one had been checking invitations, probably assuming that no one without magic would bother taking time to make an elaborate ensemble just to get their hands on some prime snacks. Clearly they underestimated the great responsibility bestowed upon the owner of a set of tupperware. You would have added "and a cat monster" but you are not stupid enough to think you own Grim.

Or humiliated enough to suggest that he owns you, but the less chances you take at making him sneeze and wake up to a suspiciously empty dorm the better. You didn't need him storming the castle crying about how he woke up all alone and was scared wasn't invited. Not that you hadn't considered that plan together before Crewel had made it extra clear just what the consequences would be for that. The food tables are positioned close to a balcony you had spotted earlier, empty save for a piano that you swear has to be desperately out of tune.

Or at least that had been what you thought on your way in. That clearly isn't true from the song that's snapped your attention away from your mission towards it. You know the song that's being played, or at least you think you do. It causes some strange cognitive dissonance in you, you try to tell yourself that it simply can't be real, even as the words bubble up in your throat trying to make up for the missing instruments. The person playing it somehow makes the dissonance worse.

Azul, because it has to be him, no one else has eyes quite as lovely even if they seem strangely sad behind his mask, clearly is not expecting to be observed. He is far too relaxed, too caught up in some strange thought playing a jazz song so hauntingly out of place against the classical background of the Masquerade. If you were yourself tonight, you would think about reaching out to close the gap, but to do that would be to give yourself away, put you firmly in the tight grasp of his debt that you will likely be powerless to repay.

And yet, he looks to see you anyway, the edges of his lips flickering into business as he surprisingly does not stop playing. Instead he moves the piece into one he thinks "you" will recognize before finishing with a flourish.

It is all you can do to clap politely so as not to drop all pretense. "I am sorry for interrupting you." You try, but you know as well as he that disguised or not, Azul will not let you off this easily.

"Oh it's no trouble really." He stands up from the bench with a flourish. "I was just helping myself, really what were the hosts thinking leaving such a lovely piano out here all alone? It's practically begging to be played."

"Of course." You hope, not with much optimism, Azul doesn't notice you looking for an exit. The last thing you want is a reason to be more awkward around your handsome classmate than you already are. "You chose such a unique song for it too, I couldn't help but be distracted." He falters, fingers dropping back to the keys gently running over them in a strange show of emotion.

"it is isn't it." He states it, more to himself than you as you beat away the unhelpful desire to describe his playing as "out of this world," not wanting to deal with any judgment later. The look Azul has on his face can almost be described as... fond as he continues to speak more to himself than you. "A... friend of mine taught it to me. I have been practicing it for them. For tonight." You almost ask who he is referring to, afraid he might mention some other poor lost soul from another world because you certainly do not remember teaching him any music let alone that song. You have a vague memory of playing something at Floyd's request, but that had been ages ago, and Azul had certainly not been there.

At least not in your line of sight.

"I should let you get back to them then." You say lamely, hopefully Azul will pass that off as disinterest in his personal affairs and let you go. This is starting to get bad for your heart.

"They're not here sadly. No thanks to me, if only they had thought to ask for my help..." He returns to the piano, so genuinely disappointed you are almost angry at yourself for not thinking to ask this poor man who certainly only would have asked for your last dance and not your soul or first born. "It's got to be an important song to them if they remembered how to play it... right?"

Or maybe he would, just in a more romantic way. He certainly seems more focused on the phantom of you than anything else and that has to be some sort of accomplishment. It is all you can do to swallow your guilty conscious enough to leave with your disguise in tact.

Ace

"Yuu! Oi why are you running I knew you would-" Ace's hand stops just in front of you, his smile and optimism completely gone with his brain cells apparently as he retreats. "Ha, sorry." His places his hand behind his head casually, voice dropping to that similar serious tone as it had earlier in the night when he had asked for you to tell him he looked good. "Thought you were somebody else."

"Sorry." You really mean it, as much as you just want to shake off the disguise and let him know he was right that would be way too dangerous. Everyone knows you were not invited, and everyone knows his behavior around you. No matter how much your heart sings that he saw through you, it would get him into so much trouble if he was suspected of helping you in this little adventure.

"Nah it's not your fault, I'm just annoyed." Ace has apparently decided that you are his new old friend for the evening anyway, bracing himself against the pillar with a huff as you give into temptation to stay with him just a bit longer. "Seriously it is going to be such a pain later! Deuce is all like 'we should enjoy ourselves the prefect will be mad if we let them ruin it for us.' Please like I would want my friends to be celebrating when I'm not there."

"You're not your friend though." You try to not laugh as you say it because of course that's what Ace would say. You can easily picture him sulking if it had just been Deuce and you who were off to a Masquerade all while acting like he is truly not bothered as soon as you pay him any attention. "It's not like it's your fault they're not here."

"Ha, sure feels like it." He is back to being oddly serious, you can't decide if you just think the attitude doesn't suit him or are angry he is spilling his guts to a masked stranger and not the real you. He has to know you would listen, but then maybe that's the problem. "You have to have that one friend who never sticks up for themselves right? Everybody does. Just don't make the mistake of- well they're stupid difficult to look after but someone's gotta do it right? No shame if you end up liking them."

"Oh yeah of course." Ace is going to never speak to you again if he figures out this is you. Or if he knows you were thinking about him when he started complaining about having a "friend" that's hard to look after. "No shame at all, really it's annoying how much cuter it makes them."

"You get it." He nods then remembers he is supposed to be the laid back guy in your friend group and returning to his "normal" attitude. "I mean who doesn't understand that? Seriously how tropey can things get sometime, like who still falls for their best friend anymore? How stupid does life think I am- look," he claps you on the back before steeling himself to head off back to where you assume Deuce and the other members of the Heartslabyul crew are, "you see any out of place, magicless prefects you bring them right to me yeah? They owe me a dance for all the headaches they've caused me this past year. And you had best bet I intend to collect." And just like that he's gone. Off to his friends, probably to poke Riddle some to ignore just how vulnerable he decided to be tonight.

And leaving you silently screaming into the night.

Epel

"SHHHHH!" Epel's a deceptively strong guy, it's something he would probably be bragging about right now if he knew you were thinking it. Well maybe not just right now, he has his hand roughly over your mouth as his eyes dart from side to side begging that it's just Vil that's on his tail and not Rook.

Something you are equally begging god for because there is no way that freak of nature is going to not recognize you immediately. Not that you are 100% certain he would turn you in, but there is something extremely uncomfortable about being known to begin with let alone when you are supposed to be disguised. Finally, the specter of the Queen passes by your little nook and Epel lets you go with a sigh.

"M'sorry." Epel is looking up at you like a kicked puppy, you can't tell if it's intentional or he really is just that remorseful. The two of you float towards the tempting fresh air of the balcony, Epel pouting up at the sky as if he is a princess about to break into song about how boring his life is and how if he could just run away into the great yonder he would. "I just really don't want to deal with my Housewarden right now. He keeps say'n I should make the most of the night or else I'll shame Pomefiore, but I just don't care." Well that's not exactly news but still, maybe you can help him snap out of it so he doesn't get into a heap of trouble he'll be complaining about later.

"Aren't you having fun with your friends?" It's a simple first option, safe enough for you to say even though you are supposed to be a stranger. Epel lets out a somewhat predictable sigh, though the sheer force of longing hidden in the eyes you swear are almost shining is not something you expected.

"Well yeah, but a Masquerade like this is super fancy right? There's all these costumes, music fit for slow dancing, perfect thing ta' do with someone special." Epel relaxes, completely comfortable with what he's saying to a supposed stranger in supposed anonymity as if he isn't sending you spiraling with that little admission. "I was really countin' on Yuu bein here." He closes his eyes, almost as if he is imagining what he would be doing if you had been invited and weren't... sneaking around hearing him admit something he definitely did not intend to do like this.

"D-don't you want to dance?" You say it more to distract yourself than Epel, honestly you would love nothing more than to hear him talk about all the fancy things he wants to do with this allegedly special person, but you need an out before he figures things out. Before Vil figures out that Epel's really shirking things and sends Rook. Before-

"Aw yer mighty charmin' but I got my eye on someone already." before Epel makes it super clear just what it is he feels and leaves you no room for denial. You almost feel sorry for the hypothetical stranger you are, Epel looks so... happy when he talks about you. You're almost jealous of yourself. "Say, you got an eye for fancy things? It's gotta suck bein left out of the party so I wanna bring my friend somethin' special but I ain't gotta clue what to do."

"Yourself." You say softly, feather twitching just out of the corner of your eye signalling your que to leave. "If you want to bring your friend something special you should just bring yourself."

[queenofallimagines]

oh good gods pls your luciferian hcs made me YELL they’re so good lmao i was side eyeing my altar and space for lucifer the WHOLE TIME

do you think you could do a part two? and if possible, nsfw? if not thats more than okay!! thank you and i hope you’re doing so good!!!

🕷️anon

Absolutely 🕷anon! AND LMAO YEAH I COULD FEEL HIM SIDE EYEING ME ACROSS THE ROOM AS I WROTE THESESGSHSJS asking the old man “why are you like this” whenever lucifer in game does something corny😭 ik he’s sick of me

Lucifer:

- Okay so since part 1 was when you arrived this will be more about day to day life in the next term

- Right off the bat I’m imagining minor petty spats that the other brothers are like…. Wtf is going on here

- Like y’all have been glaring across the table at one another for 30 mins and haven’t spoken a word

- WAY more picky w offerings lmao

- Is literally going to be super extra about it for no reason other than to bother you

- For example! When you give an offering to oshun( African orisha they’re like the HR in the heaven department just above the angel hierarchy) you have to eat a little first bc she was poisoned once so it’s like to show you’re in good faith

- Lucifer will ask you to do that w food you don’t like

- “Eat some”

- “I got this for you-“

- “And I want you to taste some😌”

- “….. do I really I have to???”

- “Are you telling me what to do w MY offering🤨”

- MAKE FUN OF HIM PLEASE ITS SO FUNNY!!

- A lot of people ( white peoples I fear😔) be talking about he only accepts blood offerings and you have to sell your soul or whatever and stuff but literally this man will be giddy over a red candle w gold glitter

- Write all your assignments in sparky pen so when he looks at them he can’t hold back a smile

- As a joke you leave crystals associated with him in his coat pockets but he will never take them out

- Congratulations you played ya self

- You doing the stuff you do for him out of habit will fluster him if you say it

- “Why are you waking up so early to get ready?”

- “Hm? For Lucifer”

- “No im not gunna drink this tea it’s an offering🙄”

- Please don’t tell his brothers he will lock himself in his office💀

- Whenever you google “what can I do for Lucifer” 9/10 the first thing will be taking care of yourself

- So when your self caring w asmo and you go “oh I do this bc Lucifer likes it”

- The house will expose in chaos

- Mammon demanding you tell him your card numbers “for him” LMAO

- They’re all super jealous

- Gotta tell em its nothing personal he’s just always been there for you

- Whew if he reached out to YOU?

- The silence in the house REAL LOUD😭

- Belphegor waking up and going “ik you fucking lying!!!”

- You’re all confused like???

- “…..you said Lucifer… reached out to YOU?”

- “??????yeah????”

- “As in… he ASKED you to work with him?”

- “Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about his name and he showed up on my door one day”

- Lmao belphie and mammon are the LOUDEST FR

- “YOU CHOSE A HUMAN?? MR I HATE HUMANS BECAUSE THEYRE WEAK??📸”

- OH SO THERES MORE THAN ONE FAKE BITCH IN THIS HOUSE HUH?”

- lmao he’s sitting there red faced clenching his fist like

- “Listen I can explain”

- He cannot explain😭

- Can’t even say he did it on a whim

- “He really picked me up like a wet cat lmao”

- “Mc I am literally begging you to shut the FUCK up”

- Oh maaaaan diavolo will get a Kick out of this!!

- Solomon is very salty

- “But I can’t get a pact😒😒”

- He’s literally going to double down and bother him more

- “Lucifer you never told me you were taking on disciples🥺”

- “I didn’t think it was that important lord diavolo simply to pass the time”

- Simeon is laughing but internally having the feels bc he’s like 🥹 “even after all this time you still choose to be a guardian angel”

- Will tell you embarrassing stories about him he is now super close to you

- “Lucifer being the lords favorite was also the best one at singing👀 he loved music”

- That’s tru btw lmao Lucifer was like one of the angels who liked singing the most thats what makes humans and angels so alike- love for music and dancing-

- Call him your morning star and he MELTS

- Back to why were really here😌

- Call him that during sex or when you first wake up and he’s on cloud nine

- FUCK HIM DURING GOLDEN HOUR🗣🗣

- He’s literally he rises in the morning for a reason!!

- He will deadass purpose bc imagine riding him as the sun stars peaking over the horizon

- He’s under you moaning looking up at you w the most glazed over love struck eyes

- The sun filtering through the window and hitting him juuuuuuuust right

- That it looks like he has a halo again

- Breathlessly calling your name as you grind down on him

- He barely manages to get out that he’s close before you caress some of his hair out of his face

- “Cum for me then my Morningstar”

- Time freezes for like 16 seconds and his eyes are getting teary

- He hugs you close as he starts rutting his hips into you harder

- Will cum and keep going until he’s about to pass out

- Holding you like a lifeline

- When you can finally breathe and think straight he pulls you in for a kiss

- Literally stealing your breath away

- Will say I love you in the most honest voice ever while smiling at you with teary eyes

- probably won’t stop touching you all day might as well just spend it in bed

-is embarrassed by body worship calling it now

- be HE can do that but if YOU sink to your knees behind his desk and hold eye contact he’s getting nervous

-“just showing my devout gratitude💕”

- embarrassed how fast he finishes

- if you keep doing to overstimulate him he’s putty in your hands

- this man is very soft he will crack at the slightest sign of domestic romance

- bring him coffee when he wakes up?

- he’s already selected a wedding venue

- I always thought it would be cute if he gave you his ring

- HILARIOUS IF HE DOSENT TELL YOU LMAO

- You swing by the celestial realm and it’s crickets and you’re like ??? Fuck is y’all starring at??🤨

- Simeon hums and says that nobody expected lucifer to get married much less to a human. How he was never one to put anything above his responsibilities

- Excuse me?

- “You’re wearing the right of light,yes? He doesn’t just give that to anyone dear. You two are bonded for life now🥰”

- “HELLO????”

[enderwoah]

jimmy solidarity is so intrinsically mind-meltingly confusing i love him dearly and i want to squish him with a passion and i want him to win (or lose) the next life series installment and here is why

(this is a very long insanity fuelled rant sorry but if you too are obsessed with jimmy solidarity and the concept of him actually not being pathetic and possibly winning heres the post for you)

jimmy solidarity is the kind of guy that literally has one gimmick and its being the most pathetic person on every server he has the pleasure of being on. he is the wet cat of a man that gets bullied and taken advantage of and nobody listens to him when he complains or objects to anything and yet not once has he truly gotten angry about it because hes just that nice of a guy. sort of.

cause i dont know about yall, but jimmy solidarity is kind of a bastard to me?? i will never forget him swindling joey out of 50% of his gunpowder profits (u think that wasnt swindling?? consider the following: he was earning NOTHING before joey started doing gunpowder on his own. NOTHING. and yet all he had to do was go over and put on his little sad pitiful pathetic song and dance and beg for a cut of joey's profits and suddenly: whats that? a net profit?) i will never forget the sheer amount of times this guy has had to hold himself back from straight up killing or aattacking someone; not because of morals or kindness or goodwill, but out of spite. but out of "i need to be better than this person it hurts them more if i dont kill them in cold blood (in my head)." i will never forget the amount of times he has just straight up punched someone in the nose (/rp) because they were being mildly annoying in the middle of a conversation.

im not saying hes a mastermind thats manipulating everyone by acting lame but also just a little bit?? minus the manipulation part?? hes proven on multiple occassions that he isnt like stupid idiot baby man. like yeah he can be a little incompetent sometimes but so can scar and by now we have ALL recognised that scar is terrifying and could raze the server by himself if he so pleased. i think if jimmy solidarity's main bit wasnt 'its funny when my friends bully me' he could genuinely cause some serious damage. i think the one time hes like ever made a trap on his own in the life series (the one in his doorway in last life) it worked flawlessly which. like. a trap. in the life series. working flawlessly. hello. sure it was basic but the fact that it worked without a hitch should alone be a testament to his ability

and if thats too obscure for u i mean we can step out of the life series for a little bit and just direct you to the fact that he isnt bad at minecraft like at all?? if u havent had the pleasure of watching his dodgebolt 1v3 i really reccomend it because youd THINK that someone bad at minecraft would be trembling in his boots and being in a total panic in that situation. hell even someone AMAZING at minecraft in that position (grian) literally sounded on the verge of throwing up for his entire time and thats FAIR. thats NORMAL.

all i am saying is that jimmy solidarity rolled up to this 1v3, said 'ive got this,' and took out two people in literally a second and a half. and then just chill-ly said 'ive got this' again. the only time he sounded mildly panicked was when tommy was making him dodge for a ridiculously long amount of time. as soon as tommy missed twice- or, rather, as soon as he dodged tommy's bolts twice, mine brother in craft took one shot after like five seconds and it was over. every SINGLE time i decide to watch a jimmy mcc pov im sitting there like. 'damn. DAMN?? JIMMY SOLIDARITY???? POPPING OFF???????" at like more than one point every single time. there are so many other places that hes demonstrated that he isnt bad at minecraft but its late/early and my memory doesnt work like it used to

which brings me back to the life series. since we all know that his 'being bullied hahaheeheehoohoo' bit is a bit (and hey. its a good bit. im not saying its a bad bit. i think its funny and i think it gets even funnier when jim starts fighting back. if youre gonna have a long-lasting gimmick thats a good one and jimmy does a swell job at making it entertaining and also making it clear that it isnt serious) this means that he can un-bit it for a bit. or at least peel away the bit a little.

im just saying jimmy solidarity has huge bastard energy and hes allowed to let it free in the life series!! he will burn things down he will cheer at traps he will fight for his friends he wil fight tooth and nail and claw for his life (he started last life with two lives. he never got any more. he only died due to a trap and due to murder like COME ON). if he wanted to burn down a base he could if he wanted to set up a huge trap PERSONALLY i think he could hell i think if he went up to someone in 1v1 combat he would at least have a chance (depending on the person of course). i mean look at his dodgebolt performance all the man needs is a bow and some distance and hes APPARENTLY set for life!!

ill say it

if jimmy solidarity played it smart, he could win the life series. easily.

jimmy is good at making alliances with people (coughs and kicks the southlands betrayal underneath the rug Ignore That One he was Desperate he started off with two lives remember honestly it was a justified move) hes a litlte bit silly stupid and oft acts impulsively but he can direct that impulsivity against one person and for another. if he got himself in a squad like he did in 3rd and last life and stopped playing up the pathetic bit and set a trap for once in his life (/endeared) he could actually get himself some kills. some Real kills, not accidentally blowing up ren and skizz with tnt.

i dont even care how he does it. i just want him to win. and if he doesnt win, i want him to come top five at LEAST before getting horrifically stabbed in the back by someone he had been running with for the whole series that is the ONLY loss i will accept and still be happy about. the man deserves a girlboss moment please we're approaching two years let the man LIVE