undercoversxo

[undercoversxo]

I want someone to look at me like I'm walking in slow motion. Like I have a fan blowing my hair back. I don't necessarily want someone to fall in love with me. I just want someone to look at me like I'm the greatest thing to ever exist.

The way he used to.

[undercoversxo]

Interview Task

Hi! I’m Lili Reinhart and you’re not watching Disney Channel. In fact, you’re not even watching Riverdale. You’re also watching me answer questions that probably don’t even matter. Enjoy.

what have you been doing to pass the time? anything new you’ve discovered, or significant events that have unfolded in your life?

Back at the beginning of the pandemic, Cole Sprouse and I decided to end our relationship. I think that’s the most significant thing that’s happened. Our relationship never did well with distance and so we decided it was best to just call it off. I definitely regret it and wouldn’t do it again given a second chance but there’s nothing to be done now. I did recently come out publicly as bisexual, back at the beginning of pride month via my instagram story. It was nothing emotional or moving or anything. Just be speaking out for LGBTQ+ and black lives. That’s about it, though, truly. I mean. I did hook up with Derek DiScanio and I fully intend on that happening again. Nothing serious just... A little fun. Ya know?

if 100 people in your age group were selected randomly, how many do you think they’d find leading a happier life than you?

Honestly? I wouldn’t know. I like to think I have a pretty good life. I have the best job, the best friends, and I’m not exactly in a bad head space. Yeah. Things are pretty okay.

has any one person ever made you so angry that you couldn’t forgive them?

You know. I can’t really say they have. I’m not quick to anger but I definitely am quick to cut people off. I’ve got too much to do to worry about toxicity and negativity. 

if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

I think my most desired knowledge would probably be to know if I’m as good a person as I like to think I am. I don’t mean that to sound vain or anything. I just sometimes worry that I’m not doing enough for the people around me.

what’s the fondest memory you have of a person you haven’t talked to in ages?

Okay this one is easy. Before Luke Perry, a late costar of mine, passed, there was a night when I was having a really hard time with some really not so nice emotions. This doesn’t happen often but it does happen. I gave him a call and he was at my apartment within a half hour with ice cream. That man was like a father to me and I miss him every single day.

what do you attribute the biggest successes in your life to? How about your largest failures?

This is a hard one to answer mostly because I don’t think about stuff like this. I guess I definitely owe my successes to my parents and friends for being so supportive. As far as failures go, that’d have to be to my own flaws and shortcomings.

what is the worst/funniest thing you have done drunk, but don’t remember doing?

Just the generic texting an ex bullshit that a lot of girls do. I can’t even count how many times I’ve gotten drunk and texted Cole.

the scariest thing you went through this year? tell us the valuable life lesson you learned with it? if you learned…

I actually haven’t been through that much scary shit this year. The worst of it was back in April. I took Milo, my dog, to a dog park and a muuuuch larger dog attacked him. He had to have a couple emergency surgeries but he’s doing perfectly fine now and all is well. Moral of the story, be way more careful around strange dogs.

[undercoversxo]

Called Derek over this morning. Ngl it was a selfish call. Dunno if I'm ashamed of that or not, dunno if I should be. Sometimes you just need to get it and you gotta find the first source you can. 🤷🏼‍♀️ besides. It wasn't that serious, Derek was down, and I'm a fuckin adult who can do whatever or whoever i wanna. (Consent given obviously)

[undercoversxo]

I go from missing Cole to wanting to just get laid. 🙃

[undercoversxo]

Gonna fly to Korea for Mark's birthday. Not sure exactly when but he said he wants me there so I'm gonna go. Kinda stoked for that, honestly. It'll be kinda weird, though. Dylan and Cole's birthday are two days after his. Wish I could see them for that. Missing all the time spent with them. I guess it is what it is.

[undercoversxo]

date someone that makes you roll your eyes and smile right after

[undercoversxo]

We were so happy once. We had it all. You were everything to me. In some ways, you still are and always will be. I miss you, Cole. I do. Even if I don't think we'll ever happen again. Even if you and I are through. I'll never regret any of my time spent with you or learning the things you taught me about life. And maybe, one day, time will bring us back together. Maybe...