#I am just angry and sad

[jellyfishline]

I've been really, really breaking my own rules when in comes to Veilguard. I don't like making opinions on media until I've experienced it in full, especially when those opinions are negative, and double especially when it's a piece of media that's part of a series that has such a.... long and proud tradition of truly insane takes, to put it lightly. And I know for a fact that there is character writing in this game that would appeal to me, characters that I would love, and maybe some of the less than stellar plots would roll right off me in the face of that.

BUT!

I was prepared to cringe at parts of this game. I was prepared for, idk, discourse about the fumbling of certain sensitive topics. I was prepared for controversial lore revelations, for a lackluster/controversial villain or two, for some janky bits of story or mechanics. If it was just (and god, this feels awful to say) things like "Taash's gender is handled respectfully but there’s no attempt to make being nonbinary feel integrated into the setting" or even "Taash's quest massively drops the ball on being multicultural and forces the player into a gross binary choice about which culture to encourage Taash to explore" that would be like, what I expected. I can accept clumsy writing, even hurtful clumsy writing, to a degree.

But the SANITATION of it all.

Taking out the teeth of the Crows. Making pirates have a code of ethics about not stealing elven artifacts and not turning that into anything INTERESTING (say, internal strife between the pirates who care about plundering from oppressed cultures and pirates who don't, or making this a recent change after an, idk, elven captain takes charge of the organization and showing the struggle of it, or making the pirates all staunch individuals who have completely disparate individual moral perspectives, or SOMETHING.)

Setting your game in MOTHERFUCKING TEVINTER and not talking about anti-elf prejudice???? What the fuck???? Being an elf doesn't radically change how the Imperium sees you?? There aren't elven slaves in every corner of this society??? You’re going to set your game in the place where Fenris came from and just.... not address anything that was part of his story???

And this is all shit I KNOW about the game, because even though I haven't played it I have seen screenshots and banters and dialogue choices. And I just.

Do the folks at bioware/ea/whoever was responsible for this understand that by taking the "problematic" elements out of the world they haven’t made it friendlier or kinder or less problematic. They've actually made it worse, imo. Because it makes the struggles of previous characters and the systemic institutional problems they raged against in previous games feel unimportant, silenced, removed. The most charitable explanation is that these characters' struggles have been retconned out of existence. The least charitable is that they have been reduced to being outliers, which in turn makes their insistence that the problems are indeed SYSTEMIC and not just the result of one "bad villain who was operating totally alone, no really" seem irrational or overblown.

I just. DAI fumbled a lot of shit but at least there was shit to fumble.

[misslaevna]

A little rant about episode 11

Just finished watching episode 11, and to be honest I am so, so disappointed. I'm not one to complain openly about something, but right now I feel like it's time to.

Spoilers below, also tw: personal opinion, if you can't take that, please do not read this.

Also I'd like to state that I like bsd. I love bsd, I wouldn't have a blog and a tiktok account dedicated to the series if I didn't - this isn't to hate on the series nor on Asagiri, just my two cents regarding the plot.

I have voiced my concerns to friends and mainly on discord how the current direction of the manga and the plot worries me, and I am beyond stunned that my biggest fear actually came true.

All the 'Fyodor is my comfort character' personal stuff aside, I feel like since the prison break arc started, the quality of the writing and the plot hit an all time low.

From my perspective, we got this huge buildup about Fyodor being this absolutely genius of a character. He is smart, he accounts for every possibility and there is no detail that he could possibly miss.

On the other hand, we have Dazai, who is, well, just as smart and perceptive as Fyodor.

So, we have two very smart characters up against each other, which I get why is challenging from a writing perspective, however (especially) since the intrudction of Time Cat Lady, I feel like the writing went from a carefully and logically built up plot to throwing in deus ex machinas and a looot of explanations afterwards to conveniently give the upper hand to Dazai.

I have no problem with Fyodor dying and Dazai emerging as winner (actually I kind of do because I would've loved to see the Agency or Atsushi or Ranpo take him down, but what else could have possibly happened anyways? Dazai is a fan favourite, we don't kill the money machine), however I have a bone to pick with the execution.

I think I would've loved to see a more carefully constructed plot where I can actually root for characters and actually worry for them. Asagiri pulled way too many 'oh they look dead but oh wait actually this and that happened which the reader wasn't aware of so they're not dead' shenanigas to the point where, in my opinion, as readers we simply just couldn't take any major character 'death' seriously - they'll somehow be resurrected anyways or it's gonna eventually be revealed that they weren't even dead to begin with.

And this was the case with Dazai and Chuuya here as well. To me this feels more like trying to put out a fire because of being cornered and having created characters so smart that they prove to be too difficult to write (at least in a pace fast enough for monthly chapter releases?) than actually putting effort into the plot.

All the 'well actually Chuuya wasn't even a vampire' bullshit to me was just way too fucking convenient. I'm happy that Chuuya is alive and well, but this too just served as a convenient plot point to give Dazai the upper hand while dumbing Fyodor significantly down.

I'm sorry but I didn't interpret Fyodor's character so careless (especially for someone who's very sensitive about his physical health) as to not take the antidote as soon as he got out. I didn't get to know Fyodor who would just fall for that trick Dazai pulled.

I really feel like we missed out a LOT on Fyodor with no backstory or whatsoever provided. His character stayed shallow and empty, and I'm actually really mad at Asagiri about this because he was supposed to be this very dangerous and complex villain but I feel like what we were teased with was just not delivered.

I really hope we get a more refined manga ending or that this will be better executed in the upcoming chapters.

Once again, I'm not mad about Fyodor dying, I'm rather disappointed by the way it was delivered. It feels rushed, it feels empty and it didn't live up to my expectations at all.

[bubbarnes]

“... I'm a nobody. I can't even remember anything. Nothing. Not even my name.”

[teaboot]

tranny freak :)

[sweet-allien]

If I keep reading comments from people comparing Logan and Colapinto I swear I'm going to stop being a friendly blog and I'm going to be one of the most fucking aggressive blogs.

To begin with, they did not have the same car, LOGAN DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE SAME CAR AS ALEX and let's not forget that JV was not the one who saw that spark in Logan, he never saw him as a possible driver for Williams or as someone to accompany Alex, the the one who saw that potential in Logan was Jost Capito, not James. Not to mention all those derogatory comments from journalists towards Logan for being American (I really don't understand why that was a problem).

Colapinto has the support of both the Argentines and his own fans and James himself. Logan didn't really have a support network like Franco's, which, realistically, added to the pressure of being in one of the most competitive sports, is not exactly the most favorable for a person's self-esteem and confidence.

Logan was not only compared to Alex, his teammate with more experience in both F1 and Williams, but also to Oscar, Oscar, who drives a McLaren, who probably had more experience regarding F1 cars, Oscar, that always stood out in the rest of the categories and that has Mark Webber as support.

There's really no way to compare Logan and Franco, firstly, because they're both completely different, and secondly, because they were never on equal footing.

[just-null]

Wowie rly digging the yandere clone headcanons… how would each react if their darling tried to run away from them?!

You said tried so I assume this was a failed attempt!

Short answer: they get really upset and try making it your fault (shocker.) Ain't no way any of these mfs think they're the problem. Good news! you're mostly unharmed and alive.

This will just be purely writing bc i mostly had thoughts! sorry no drawing this time!!

[cw! mentions of potential harm to reader (no actual harm done), manipulation, toxic relationship dynamics (yandere flavor), obsessive behavior]

Sekido

You're always being hunted the moment the sun comes down and you don't return home in time. Reasons like that are exactly why he hates it when you part from him. 

This time is different.. he can't find you in your usual spots. There's no fucking way, right?

How could you.. No, how DARE you? Do you think that he's some joke? That his feelings for you are something that you can run away from like it's nothing? 

The second he's sure the sun won't harm him, he's already white knuckling his khakkhara, swinging at anything and everything in his path until he gets to you.

They know how to sense if you're near or not, hell, they probably know how your specific blood type smells like. 

Did you think cuddling up to you and memorizing every detail about you was for nothing? Don't be stupid. All he needs is a trace of you and he's gone in the blink of an eye.

You better enjoy running while you can because when he catches you, and he will, those legs of yours won't have much use after he's done with them. 

Sekido doesn't WANT to do this, but you honestly give him no choice. After he trusted you enough to stop looking over his shoulder, you do this? How can he ever put any faith in you again!?

On the bright(?) side, Sekido's rage wouldn't be solely on you, it'll ricochet onto everyone, especially the other clones and himself. 

They were supposed to be looking after you! But they can't do anything right, even a task as simple as this. 

And why did he think it was a good idea to trust them with something of big importance when all they do is fuck everything up!? Everyone's idiocy is rubbing off on him!

The entire time on his search for you, he's cursing and wanting to crush anything he can get his hands on, especially your bones. 

He doesn't even bother with speaking to the others, too busy spewing out all sorts of hurtful and frustrated comments about everything. 

The brutal thought that you’d rather run away than be with him isn't one he wants to entertain, but it's echoing in his head.

At least, once the other clones get there, Karaku and Aizetsu brawl with Sekido so you're unharmed while Urogi carries you overhead. 

Sekido's jealousy flares up when he sees you in Urogi's arms, making him even more pissed if that's even possible. Great, now he looks like the bad guy and the other three, the saviors. Fucking perfect.

There's a lot of yelling and a lot of blood, especially with Urogi making things so much more annoyingly difficult in the air. Karaku and Aizetsu aren't helping. Why is Sekido suddenly the problem?! You ran away!! 

But when he calms down enough, he's cursing at everyone through clenched teeth. Sometimes trying to convince the others that you don't even need your legs anyway!!

Once you get back home (or temporary prison until you somehow regain favor), Sekido will eye your legs while gripping his staff from time to time. 

Exactly why he's forbidden to be in a room alone with you for a while until he settles down..

He glares at you more often and grows colder than before. Arguments are more common where he twists your words just to have you talk with him and be angry within reason. 

Any other type of conversation makes him so irrationally upset that the others need to step in so that he doesn't lose his temper again.

Karaku

The calmest out of the group. He brushes it off as “you're playing hard to get” again, and if he makes a ruckus, you'll scamper back and beg him to stop like always!

Then it gets darker out.. and when Sekido left, he seemed pretty pissed. Like more than usual..... shit.

Karaku sprints after Sekido when it clicks that he's found you. His mind starts reeling, unsure whether he should laugh at the absurdity of your decisions or get pissed off because you didn't even bother to give a hint! 

Not like that would do anything aside from give you away but regardless!

Everyone needs to relax, this is obviously something they can sweep under the rug. This isn't that big of a deal and you're just having a fit, but things like these can get you hurt, y'know? 

They're fun and all, sure, just maybe give him a heads up next time, yeah? Sekido can't take a joke, you know this!!! Still.. There's a way Karaku can work with this.

He'll be able to swoop in, save you, be your hero, and remind you why staying with him is kinda important. Just in case you forgot~ 

You don't wanna be out and about without his charming grin and protective hold would you? Don't answer that right now, he has a feeling you'll say something wrong!

Yet.. what if you need a firmer hand to remind you of what Karaku provides? What if you got a little too comfortable being protected so you thought you'd be alright leaving them? Man, who knew you could be spoiled!

Because of this, he would purposely fumble, letting Sekido get near you just so he can stop him at the perfect moment. He purposely gets hit too and makes sure some blood gets near you. To remind you how that could've been yours.

When Sekido calms down, Karaku laughs in your face and would pinch your cheeks if you weren't up in the air with Urogi on the way home.

You should've seen your face! It was really cute~! Maybe getting scared is your thing? He'll note that for later.

He offhandedly advises you not to do things like that all the time, fighting Sekido always kinda sucks, but it's not like you actually had a chance of successfully running away so he won't chastise you too much for it. 

That's not his job, and his heart hasn’t pumped that fast in a long time.. not even in a fight! You're so amazing~~

And delusional if you think he's not going to milk this “heroism” thing back there for some extra affection points with you. 

Don't be so mean. he got his head blown off twice and jaw dislocated thrice, not to mention everywhere else on his body. Don't you think those parts of him need some extra loving? more than usual?

There's not that much Karaku can say after that aside from reminiscing like it was a funny story. He's not upset about it, mostly a little miffed you got kinda far without him noticing, but he gets over it. 

The usual routine starts back up for him when you're back home. It's like nothing happened, but he keeps a closer eye on you since everyone's so tense.

Urogi

If you're not home before the sun sets, Urogi's clawing at the walls with stress. He usually accompanies Sekido to go find you, but this time is different. Urogi could just barely tell you were around.. When Sekido bolts, Urogi's flying as fast as he can, trying to find you first. 

You're so far.. you must've gotten kidnapped!!!!!

The stress from before burns into anger, expecting to see someone having their hands on you while you're calling out in vain. How could he let this happen?! Damn sun! 

He darts through the skies even faster imagining it, and when he finally reaches you, you look.. fine? and alone. and looking at him like he's the danger. He's here to save you, dummy..

Urogi falls to his knees, burying his face against your stomach and finally wrapping his arms around you again. Your fists violently hit his head and yank fistfuls of hair back, but it doesn't phase him. 

Your comforting warmth is back, that's all that matters. And god, your smell.. it's almost making him dizzy. He missed you so much.

There's many holes to the story in Urogi's head as to why you're so far from home, but he fills them in with more convoluted delusions. It's just a peaceful reunion right now.. 

That is until Sekido finally arrives and starts swinging his khakkhara way too close to your fragile bones. 

Now he's back in defense mode where he scoops you up and tries flying out of reach. This is so stressful!!! There's lightning everywhere and he keeps having to dodge the multiple staffs thrown his way. 

He shields you with his wings as best he can while trying to stay in the air, so you don't get hurt during Sekido's outburst.

In the skies, it's much clearer to see the hurt behind the haunting glow of Urogi's eyes. Did you care about how he might feel? Did you miss him at all? Did you not feel loved enough? Did someone say something to you? 

As he maneuvers the sky, he holds you as tightly as possible, lightly digging his talons into your skin.

Being without you for a couple hours is agonizing enough on its own. If you HAD left him, abandoned, cold, alone.. he doesn't want to think about it. All that matters is that your kidnappers or liars or whatever influenced you are gone, and you're back safe with them!!! 

You.. you still like him, right? Of course you do, fate wouldn't force your paths together if it wasn't for a reason!

Coming back home is uncomfortably tense, especially with how violently Aizetsu kicked Urogi across the room, nearly through the wall, when he tried to lick your wounds clean. It really hurt! 

When you're patched up, Urogi is ten times as clingy if that's possible. He has his arms looped around you constantly so you can't stray too far, and if his hands are busy, he always has his wings!

As happy as he is that you're back, he can't help but cry into your chest sometimes. Everything is so tense nowadays, he hates it! How could you go and do something like that? Apologize immediately! Or at least hold him too? Doubt creeps in a lot, and your attitude isn't helping.. 

His mood swings are stronger. From sobbing uncontrollably into your clothes to being all smiles and radiating with joy the next just because you said something vaguely decent.

Aizetsu

The demotivation started to creep in the second you left. During the day, Aizetsu sits by the door, wanting to be the first one you properly greet. Sekido and Urogi usually bring you back and he'll be the one in your good graces without lifting a finger. That sounds nice.. 

But as the footsteps fade and the silence lingers, Aizetsu feels miserable the longer he waits... Hold on, silence?

Before he realizes what's happening, he's already dashing to where the familiar commotion is coming from. Dread sets in as his legs take him as fast as they can whilst being the slowest of the four. This doesn't feel like they're rushing over to you after a long day, it feels.. dangerous?

What did you get yourself into..? Why do you insist on going to places Aizetsu can't follow? Are you safe? He hates not knowing.

Usually you're the one who's fine. You deal with four demons almost daily! Please please please be okay. He can't fathom it if you were hurt. 

When he gets there, the puzzle pieces fall into place and Aizetsu gets even more depressed, but at least you're not hurt. Well, not if he interferes. His movements are sluggish, a perpetual frown plastered on his face as he tries holding Sekido down. 

Aizetsu wants to dissolve into the floor, and he does sometimes. Not wanting to fight Sekido off anymore, he slumps over. 

This could've been a regular day where you came home.. Are you serious? Leaving? How pitiful could you be to actually think you could get away? Or was it that you wanted to play some sick joke on them? Well, it's not very funny... It's terrible actually.

Aizetsu stays silent on the way home, walking with a bit more energy knowing you're near despite his heart ache.

You can feel the harrowing disappointment radiating off of him the moment you all go back home.

He's tired, annoyed, and so unbelievably upset. Aizetsu grimaced when Urogi got near your scratches with his tongue, so he “politely” ushered him away. 

Knowing a human's weak points is good in battle, but he started trying to learn how to heal them, specifically because he knew these types of things might happen.

As he cleans your scratches, he's actively scolding you for leaving in a cold emotionless tone. And by scolding, he's using manipulative language, trying to make you guilty for everything you did. 

He barely has the energy to live, but now that he finally found his light in the darkness, you want to leave? Is it so wrong he wants to hold onto what makes him even a smidgen happier than usual? He reminds you that he'll wither away without you, but he's not really too keen on dying just yet.

When he tries to get back into a routine, he just can't. He knows why you left, but he doesn't want to hear it. Even if you're sweet to him or not, he'll hold you from behind when you rest.

Looking at you is too much, but being away from you is even worse. Aizetsu compromises this way, but gets quieter, occasionally sniffling when he hides his face behind you.

There's too much going on and he's so tired.. If it weren't for the others, he probably would've held you so tight for so long so that you both would perish together.

Maybe that’s why he's only allowed to hold you when you're asleep. Just please don't do that again.. He NEEDS you. Please, please, please.

Safe to say you gave them a scare. When they double down on the protectiveness, living is ten times more difficult for EVERYBODY. when you lose their trust, it's pretty difficult to gain it back, but not impossible!!

Sekido and Urogi will always assume the worst if you're gone for too long while Karaku and Aizetsu give you a little more freedom until the others drag them along into their worries.

[nicollekidman]

realizing that people who equate cynicism with intellectual rigor are often just being lazy and pathetic has been so helpful tbh

[konohamaru-sensei]

ah. it hurts

[mari-lair]

Between TeruAoi, Terukane and Aoikane which one do u think has the most chance of becoming canon with the story rn? I saw a lot of people on twt saying that Terukane has the most chance right now with the new timeline but I don't fully get why

Aoikane was confirmed canon in the old timeline, and it still has the most chance of being canon in the new timeline.

Just look at these panel. These aren't small implications, these are loud "HEY, AOI AND AKANE STILL LIKE EACH OTHER!!" panels.

Terukane has no chance of being canon, at least, not in an endgame way, the most I can see it happening is Teru having a one-sided crush on Akane. And even that isn't as likely as the overall fandom want people to believe, cause we have gotten a lot of teruaoi hints.

HOWEVER, while unlikely I am not dismissing the possibility of one-sided terukane, cause aidairo has put a lot of effort into keeping Teru's crush ambiguous (like teru not telling his crush's gender when rejecting someone in chapter 1). So there is no way to disprove for sure that Teru doesn't like Akane.

The thing is that teruaoi also can't be disproven unless people go out of their way to have the most uncharitable view possible on the ship build ups. Teru has had so many vague build ups that tiptoe between 'platonic' and 'romantic' with both Aois, to the point even something as impossible as 'Teru like both aois' cannot be explicitly shut down. Not yet. So one-sided terukane wouldn't surprise me if it was canon or if it wasn't.

Now enjoying terukane is one thing, is a good ship with a really awesome and complex dynamic, but the people who genuinely believe they are being written to be canon and that making them canon was always the intention bother me, cause they aren't analyzing the manga, they just... see what they want to see.

I haven't been on twitter in a while but I don't have to be there to know that most terukane shippers there will see the newest chapter and zoom in on this scene to go "LOOK HOW MUCH AKANE CARES!! THIS IS ANOTHER PROOF TERUKANE RELATIONSHIP IS EVOLVING AND WILL BE CANON"

but they will pretend this part doesn't exist.

so at least to me, these 'analysis' read less like people that genuinely love the manga and enjoy analyzing every detail to try to foreshadow the relationships that will be explored, and more like people in denial trying to insert their headcanons and preferences into canon " I WANT terukane to be Endgame so I will ONLY see the terukane parts cause that's what matters, everything else in this manga is a mistake so it shouldn't be considered."

[septemberkisses]

for me cleaning my room is equivalent to getting my shit together

[dathomirdumpsterfire]

[fisheito]

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

[tearlessrain]

I'm so tired of performative social justice that doesn't actually do anything. stop worshiping the concept of a glorious revolution that will fix everything and make an actionable plan while you push for incremental local change. trump winning isn't going to kickstart some YA novel bullshit and save the day it will destroy us and kill any chance we had of stopping the genocide you're claiming to care about so much. just swallow your pride and fucking vote so we have a chance in hell to work toward a better world and achieve any degree of progress/harm reduction. for fucks sake.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it's only natural to feel anger when somebody isn't "taking your advice" or listening to you about their mental health or what will help them. People want to help people, and the anger comes when you are perceiving somebody as not being receptive but...

It can be a selfish impulse to say that your opinion about their illness is the only thing they need. It isn't about you, even though the advice you give is given by you.

Nobody deserves to suffer, this is true. But, also, nobody deserves to be forced to do things that either won't help or won't be genuine. If somebody isn't taking your advice, there's a reason for it (maybe it's not a good enough reason for you, but this isn't the point). It's okay to be disappointed or angry, but it's not going to help to lash out at them. That is only pouring water onto a grease fire.

[courfee]

ah yes, the happy soft vibes for the @sillylovesongsfest, you get it...

based on the assigned prompted song Till Forever Falls Apart by Ashe and FINNEAS, as well as this photo shooting

So this is it, that's how it ends I guess there's nothing more romantic than dying with your friends

for an even sadder and bloody version look under the cut <33

[problematicsashawaybright]

I just don't understand how my mom had me, her oldest and first child, raised me for 18 years (kind of?), and then chose some guy she barely knows and is objectively terrible over me and kicked me out unexpectedly after telling me I'm no longer a part of her family and all my childhood trauma (that HER at the time husband caused) was my fault. And now she's banned me from seeing my siblings that I RAISED (because she wasn't able to at the time.), she refused to answer my phone calls or texts when I was in the hospital, terrified, crying and begging her to come help or support me because I was completely alone in the hospital in the worst pain in my life and just wanted my mom, and on top of everything, made it clear I'm not invited to family thanksgiving. I don't understand. How is she even able to do that. I don't need her, I'm an adult, but I'm still her child. I don't think I'll ever understand.