#I am going a little bit insane

[mormorproposal]

I probably won't ever finish the shards of my aphasia au mormor fic, HOWEVER I still feel like posting it, soooo have at it under the cut, if you wanna read it :)

apha·​sia

(n.) loss or impairment of the power to use or comprehend words usually resulting from brain damage

Your teeth tear up my skin without a single hint of remorse. You simply latch onto me as is your given right. Hands dig into my hips, I relax against the fridge. It isn’t ideal but who am I to negate anything from you ever?

It’s going to bruise. Your palms etched onto my skin like ghosts. We’ve done worse to each other, I know – still, it’s the imprecision behind it all that keeps me up at night.

You used to map my body with delicate rivers plastered on me. Precise. Fine lines, sharp edges, the most complicated brush strokes. I was there to ride out your artistic urges. The new art style needs adjustment to. I’m not used to you being out of control, it sets me on edge slightly.

But it is still you after all, even after everything, so I relax and let you do your personal kind of therapy. Pain and blood is what we always communicated best in, anyways.

You set upon sucking my skin in between your teeth, keeping a rhythm of releasing my flesh and trapping it again. My eyes flutter shut, the hand that is on your back pressing you more tightly against me. Responsively, your nails are scratching at my skin through my shirt. It doesn’t hurt as much as it used to and something in me feels like breaking.

“Jim,” I croak. Your eyes wander upwards, meet my gaze, hold it. I want to pick you up, cradle you, keep you safe from harm, bash anyone’s head in who makes you feel small. There’s a quick jab in my upper torso. What?

I exhale a ragged breath I was unaware of ever holding and shake my head slightly. Your teeth sink deeper, drawing blood. I groan. Boss didn’t like that.

Still, you resume your work, searching for another place to bear pain. I do not think about the implications. Do not think about what it means. I certainly don’t think about your eyes. Haunting me, pleading me to take it all away. I stiffen; your left hand clumsily pushing against my side in discontent. I wince. Look up to the ceiling and blink. Do not cry, Moran!

***

The doctor eventually leaves us to it. One last look of sympathy and she’s out of the door. I hate her already.

“You look awful, sir” I say for lack of better words. It feels hollow. You hate small talk and here I am talking away. You simply grunt, disapproval encapsulated in it. I don’t blame you. It’s not every day that you wake up in a hospital room after blowing your brains out. I hate you for that, you know? The thought of what could’ve been if I hadn’t been quick enough gnaws at my insides; I have to watch your chest raising and lowering to keep my own breathing in check.

You could’ve died and that just wouldn’t do. Holmes is dead, after all – I saw him jump myself. I had orders to watch Watson, I know, I know, I know but then there was the gunshot ringing and how could I not look. Surely you know me better than that. You are always my first priority. Always have been, always will be.

“You won, in case no one told you yet.” How could they possibly have? Last time they saw you, you were still unconscious, staining the concrete. I swallow and you watch my Adam's apple bob, something like triumph glinting in your eyes. You open your mouth at that, exhale shakily, and knit your eyebrows together in confusion. Maybe the glint was just a trick of the light. Your mouth closes and opens again; fish on dry land.

I have crossed the room in an instance, press down on your shoulder lightly. “What’s wrong?” The metal of the hospital bed is cool against my triceps and I can’t shake the thought of Everything. “Great” You mutter eventually, nodding to yourself, before shaking your head a small fraction. “Great” You repeat again, facing me this time and smiling. It doesn’t reach your eyes and something in my heart goes terribly cold. Sure, you aren’t in the bestest of conditions but your looming win shouldn’t feel this gloomy. You should be ecstatic, if anything. Bordering on manic. I’ve planned it all out for us, honestly. The restaurant we’d celebrate at. The camera in our room, only waiting for us to shag, a sympathy card for the upcoming funeral.

This doesn’t feel like anything celebratory at all. Hasn’t felt that way when all the doctor had for me was a sympathetic look and a referral to another doc, and certainly doesn’t feel that way now with you actually staying in bed instead of yanking me to you, insisting you shall be out here at once!

“Phon” You manage to mumble near the direction of my hand on your shoulder, then again. “Phon, phon, phon!” It grows more frantic each time, stumbles out of your mouth, tickles the skin on my hand. You laugh. Bubbles out of you, bounces off the walls, rings in my ears. You choke on it, possibly as surprised by the sound as I am. My brows knit together in confusion. The next giggle has panic vibrating through it. “Ligert” You sigh when the shaking of your shoulders subsides.

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Phon, in this context, is supposed to be the word "won" & Ligert is supposed to be the word "Tiger" - both of which faced a common symptom of fluent aphasia (namely: phonemic paraphasia during which incorrect phonemes are substituted or, as for the t in ligert, added)

[egophiliac]

Final manifestations for Book 7?

I'm trying REALLY hard not to build up any solid expectations, because I wanna go in ~fresh~! they're already so far away from anything I thought would happen (not in a bad way, I'm just accepting that I'm on Miss Yana's Wild Ride at this point and we're seeing this thing through 'til the end, by gum). so it's nothing too major, but:

they've been handing new crying expressions out like candy lately, I want to see some delicious Malleus tears.

honestly I want everyone to cry buckets. their tears sustain me. the more Silver angst specifically I get the happier I am.

SILVER!!!! 👏 VANROUGE!!!! 👏

just let him have this. the poor boy's been through so much. let him have his big "I'm proud of you, son" moment with Lilia.

I'm 100% expecting Grim's arc (and probably whatever's going on with Crowley) to be its own episode, but a nice hook to leave us hanging on would be good!

a nice hook though, please, I don't think I can take another "Grim is attacking us! now wait eight months to find out what happens :)" cliffhanger...

some Meleanor? as a treat? just a little bit, a tiny quick flashback or something, please Twst I just, I just want to see her again. let her have a little ghost cameo like Dawnathan Knight got. Lilia and his kids are all having their big group hug or whatever and she can gently fade in to be all like

(turning asks off until I'm done playing, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Y'ALL)

[taiso]

jarvis cocker (pulp) trading card from melody maker magazine (1995)

scanned from my personal collection ^^

[doctorwhommm]

torchwood doodles (i definitely don’t have a favourite character)

[stump-not-found]

fic drops tomorrow

[theropodtheroblogs]

so I'm caving and writing the Megatronus/Megatron smut because I'm insane, and I had to work out sizes, and a friend sent me this initial chart from twitter and then I had to modify it to have all the d16 megs versions For Reasons and I nearly had a happening because they use the middle version of d16 to represent the cogless d16 in terms of height, which tricked me for a moment and I fucking nearly lost my shit because if that was accurate then cogless d16 would be under megatronus' KNEE.

as it stands he's barely above it.

my favourite part though is that at no point is d16/megs ever above dick height on his idol

the initial image is on the left, the purple and red is me, and the image on the right is from the ILM page on designing tfone its so good you should read it very cool

[mamawasatesttube]

"oOoOohhh kon is just sooooo sad about tim/ber for forever and he's pining but he's trying soooOOoo hard to be happy for his best friend and it's just sOoOooo tragic and bittersweet that tim/kon never worked out and he's sooo sad for life--" im actually going to start beating you people over the head with a brick made out of all 100 issues of superboy (1994) until you start to comprehend that kon is a character on his own whose life does not revolve around tim. jesus fucking christ

[3-aem]

thinking about touch starved touch sensitive gojo again. Absolutely desperate for even the most grazing touches from getou and yet overwhelmed by it all.

[skitskatdacat63]

sobbing at how happy they all look

[garvalhaminho]

sometimes i truly am doing fine and then i remember ty and livvy had never spent a day apart ......

[reeama-the-mage]

Skelter Family Portrait

[lightkrets312]

i need someone more insane than me to figure out how the limbus company wiki (either the proper wiki or the fandom one, i don't care) got their heights originally, because

i am going insane.

[classic-jamie]

hey man, idk if this is weird to ask but like... are we still friends? cuz all your stuffs back at my place.

[joethehoeee]

Stricklake month week 4: Blood/Healing (TW)

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{In a world plunged into eternal night by the forces of darkness, Barbara Lake fights to survive alongside Walter Strickler, a changeling who once passed as human. After a brutal encounter with monstrous Gumm-Gumms leaves Barbara gravely injured.}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{Walter desperately tries to save her, revealing his deep love for her. Tormented by guilt over his role in her son Jim's death, Walter is determined to protect Barbara, despite the secrets he keeps. Her trust in him gives him the strength to continue, even as the darkness of their world closes in.}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And????

Is that fun???

Missed this AU?????😃😁

Come on, we all know you missed it. That's why I am saying yall might get a full on fanfiction. (I know yall hate me for it.)

But first: Link for the short prompt story.

You don't need to know much, the summary explains enough and the story as well. If you want to know more, go to my Masterpost and search through the DystopiaStricklake!AU.

Closeup:

[ledetlore]

Hi!

The propaganda worked so here's Kremy in a dress for you! It was supposed to be just a sketch, but well...

I'm DYING IM DYING OHHHHH MY GOD I MUST BE A CORPSE IM GONNA CRRRYY TT-TT

Honestly I'm so so honoured this is the sweetest thing ever I could kiss you (in a platonic way) you're so incredibly talented my darling!!! WOW!!!

HIS WIG SERVES SO HARD TOO, LIKE YES BITCH, BE RARITY MLP!!! SPARKLE THAT SHIT UPPPPPPP BROTHER!!!!

KREMY IN A DRESS NATION RISE!!!

[rapidhighway]

oh im being so lazy and useless and shit hnnnngnnnnrff I'm even trying to finish a thing for my class but im so behind on everything I literally do nothing for these classes idk ughhh