#sorry for talking about this so much but not sorry even a fucking little bit
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xxchumanixx · 1 day ago
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Beach Adventures
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Pedro Pascal x fem!reader
Summary: Pedro takes the opportunity to fuck you at the beach.
Warnings/Tags: 18+ mdni!, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!), fingering, multiple orgasms (two), filthy talk, implied age gap (because, let's face it, we're all much younger than him), established relationship, porn without a plot
Word Count: 5.289
Authors Note: What. Did. I. Do. I don't know. But this video of Pedro? It sent me down a spiral I wasn't ready to be pushed down. This was living in my head rent-free since then, and i think it's time it does something for its stay! I hope you'll enjoy this. Never did anything for Pedro before, so this is kinda new. Also, it's been a while since I did smut, so, please, cut me some slack.
Enjoy!
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You should have known he'd take that challenge - and succeed it.
Making you horny at the beach on your vacation? Yes.
Making you come on his fingers at the beach? Yes.
Fucking you at the public beach? Triple that yes.
Pedro sat in the reclined chair under the parasol at the beach, busy reading the book he had brought along for the Christmas holidays. You were sitting in a chair right beside his, bathing in the sun. He'd be lying if he said you weren't distracting him in your tiny swim suit.
You stretched a bit, the sun making you sleepy. "How's your book?" you asked, eyes still closed.
He chuckled softly at your comment, seeing as your eyes were still closed. Clearly you hadn't been paying attention to the world around you for a short moment. "It's alright. Very well written, but a little boring for my taste." he admitted, closing it for a brief moment just to admire the view of you in your swim suit. "How's... sun bathing going?"
You hummed. "Good." you said. "Though I'm sorry for the book. I know how excited you were about it."
He shook his head, waving it off almost immediately. He set the book to the side, turning his chair just a tiny bit to see you even better. "It's alright, babe. Can't like everything right?"  
You hummed once more. "That's true."
His hand moved up onto your leg, running up and down your thigh absentmindedly. It was a very subtle move, but clearly, he was in need of some entertainment.
"Are you getting sun burnt yet? You've been laying there for a while - I'd hate for you to turn red later.” he mused.
You snorted under your breath. "I have some very good sunscreen." you told him. "Don't worry. I can still turn onto my front if you're scared, though."
He chuckled. Despite the fact he was enjoying the view of you lying there, he'd much rather see you on your stomach anyway. Less... distracting. "Oh yes, that would be much better. Don't wanna miss any spot while applying more sunscreen you know, gotta make sure everything is covered in SPF."
You hummed, turning onto your stomach. "You're absolutely right." you mumbled.
The sun felt so nice. It was a nice distraction from everything. Holidays meant no work, no events or galas to attend to. No dressing up, no socializing. Just Pedro, a couple friends, and you.
His eyes scanned you up and down, admiring your naked back and how the thin straps of your swim suit kept you from being completely exposed. Pedro didn't mind, he could easily pull those tiny strings...
He leaned forward, a small smirk forming on his face. His hand moved up and down your naked back, touching the smooth skin.  
You sighed, relaxing into the chair.  
He chuckled softly at your reaction, enjoying the fact he could get a reaction out of you just by touching your skin. He moved his fingers to the straps of your swim suit, pulling it a little.  
"Would you mind if I took the straps off? So I could apply the sunscreen everywhere?" he wanted to know. 
You repressed a snort. Right, for the sunscreen. "No, go ahead."  
He smirked as you agreed. He was going to have a lot of fun here. His fingers moved around your body, pulling the straps off of it, exposing you almost completely. His eyes traveled up and down your body, taking in every inch of it in the process. 
He grabbed the lotion, squirting a bunch of it into his hand, before slowly spreading it across your soft skin, covering you in sunscreen from the top of your neck all the way down your back.  
"Pedro?" you mumbled his name. "Are we gonna go to that little bar we saw yesterday, later? It looked really nice."  
He raised an eyebrow absentmindedly, his hands continuing to move across your body. He was just getting to your lower back now, massaging the sunscreen into your skin, not realizing you were talking at first until he heard you say his name once more.  
"Hm?" He hummed, snapping out of the trance he had been in for the past few minutes. "Bar? Yeah, we can do that. I could use a few drinks and some music."  
"Everything okay?" you asked, though you already knew what was going through his head. Being an actor meant for him being very busy and on the run most of the time, which left little time for... other activities.  
Chuckling, Pedro leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lower back, not caring about the sunscreen he’d just applied there. He couldn't help it, you just looked so good, completely exposed for him to see and touch...  
"I'm perfect, baby. Just got a little... distracted. That's all." He moved up onto his knees a bit, his hands slipping a bit further down your body. "We should go somewhere a little more... private, though."
You snorted softly. "Why?" you asked. "The sun's feeling so nice."  
He chuckled, continuing to spread the sunscreen across your body, until he was on your legs. Once on the tops of your legs, he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to one thigh and then the other.  
"You know exactly why, baby.” he mumbled into your skin. “You don't need your thighs exposed to the world, not when I can take my time with you in private..."  
"Didn't you do that this morning already?" you mused. The morning had indeed been... busy, causing you and Pedro to miss breakfast. 
He hummed. Yes, they did do some... things earlier that day, but that felt like ages ago, and not nearly enough to satisfy him completely.  
"I don't need a reason to enjoy your body again.” he gave back. “Or an excuse, for that matter. You should know that by now, mi amor."  
"Oh, I do." you sighed. "Why do you think I brought this swimsuit?"
Snickering, he ran his hands up and down every soft curve of your body. “You mean this little thing?" He tugged on the fabric of your top, enjoying how little it covered. "I do love it. Almost too much, darling...”
You chuckled quietly at his words. "Yeah?"
He nodded, his eyes traveling the length of your body once more. "It looks so... good.” he mumbled dreamily. “Really reveals your curves. I love it." His hands ran up and down your legs now, taking his time to caress your smooth skin. His touch on your thighs almost lingered just a bit longer than necessary.
"I'm glad." you mumbled. "Picked it just for you, mi amor."
He hummed happily as you called him that, his hands now moving to the inside of your thighs and then up to the tiny fabric strip of your swimsuit in the middle. He tugged on it a little as if testing your limits.
"You're trying to kill me here, aren't you?" he asked.
You grinned softly. "Only a bit."
He chuckled, continuing to tease you with his touch. His hand reached over, picking up the lotion again, before squeezing some onto your thighs, spreading it across your soft skin.
"You're gonna end up going to that bar with a little... problem, if you keep this up.“ Pedro murmured.
You huffed. "What problem?"
Chuckling again, he continued to spread the lotion, moving further and further up your legs, until his knuckles were brushing against your bikini bottoms.
"Oh, I think you're smart enough to figure that one out, mi vida. Unless, of course, you want me to explain myself?"
"Please do." you breathed out, though knowing exactly what he meant. "Wouldn't wanna risk a misunderstanding."
He smirked, his hand moving just a little higher up and around your body. Then, very subtly, he moved his finger against the front of your bikini bottoms, pressing it right against the sensitive area there, not doing much, just touching.
"I think you know exactly what's about to happen if you push me a little further, darling."
You swallowed, heat rising up your spine. "You sure?" you asked, keeping your voice steady. "‘Cause I'm not."
He chuckled. You were testing him, challenging him. It excited him, though, knowing you wanted to see how far he'd go. He didn't mind showing you one bit.
"You're a naughty little tease." he breathed out, slowly applying pressure to your sweet clit with his finger, rubbing it gently and teasingly through the fabric, just to see your reaction.
You gritted your teeth, trying to keep your hips from moving. "Am I?" you asked. "And here I thought that part was yours, old man."
He smirked at you calling him old, knowing fully well by now that was only for the purpose of riling him up. He loved it.
"Old man? That ain't very nice, darling." He mused, rubbing over your clit a little rougher. He was trying to find your limits, testing your patience.
"Ain't it?" you breathed out, the slightest bit of strain to your voice. "Just stating facts. You're older than me, I was told to show respect to my elders."
He snickered. "Elders aren't the same as old men, mi amor.“ he said. „I don't think you're showing much respect here. Not with the way you're teasing me, at least.“
"Not doing it on purpose." you tried to defend yourself, though it was a clear lie. "Maybe a little."
He smirked, continuing to rub your clit. Slowly, but surely, rubbing a little faster every time he moved his finger. He loved teasing you too, just to see when you'd give in.
"A little? You're doing it on purpose entirely, mi vida. You love to tease me, and you enjoy every second doing it." he gave back, brows furrowing slightly.
You bit your cheek, a strangled breath leaving your lips. "Just tryna test your durability." you said. "Fifteen years aren't nothing, baby."
Pedro chuckled, continuing is ministrations on your clit before moving his fingers across the edge of your bikini bottoms, teasing you with the idea of slipping them underneath them. He knew you couldn't last much longer, but you knew he was just as weak as you were.
"Hmm, you mean you doubt my durability, darling? Is that what you're trying to say here?" His voice was low, his words barely above a whisper.
You bit your lip. "I'm just tryna look out for you, Josè." you said. "Can't have you getting bored with me."
He chuckled and bit his lip, leaning down and whispering in your ear. "Oh, I could never get bored with you. Not after seeing you like this, mi amor. So beautiful, so... desirable." Moving his fingers back to your clit, he added a little more pressure, just enough to send a jolt through your body. "And that's why you won't ever have me get bored in the first place.“ he added.
"Hngh- that's good to know." you pressed out, inhaling shakily. "You're being mean, Pedro."
He chuckled, his touch getting more intense the longer he continued. He loved to tease you like this, loved the way you reacted to his touch. He knew he was close to breaking you. All he had to do was push you just a little bit further.
"Oh, I'm being mean, am I?“ he mused. „Well, maybe you should've thought about that before you decided to tease an old man like me, darling."
You scoffed. "That's not fair."
He smiled, leaning closer to your neck, his lips brushing against your skin. "Not fair?“ he echoed, his hot breath fanning against your skin. „It's not fair that you tease me, knowing what it does to me. And it's not fair that you keep testing me, just to see where I break, when we both know damn well that you aren't lasting much longer either.“
You bit your cheek. "We're at the beach." you breathed out.
He smiled, whispering against your skin, his hand running the risk of pushing your bikini bottoms to the side once more, but not quite getting there yet. He loved the reactions he was getting out of you so far, he loved the way you breathed faster, the way you squirmed. He loved it.
"No one's nearby.“ he mumbled. „They're all more towards the entrance of the beach, mi vida. We've got the corner all to ourselves..."
You huffed quietly. "Still wanna go to that private place?"
Pedro pressed a kiss to your shoulder, his hand moving across the crotch of your bikini bottoms. He was testing your limits.
"A private place would be nice, yes." he whispered to you. "Or we could stay right here, see how far you'll let me go...“
You swallowed, heat rising farther up your body. "That was the purpose of the question, Pedro.“ you gave back, doing your best not to squeeze your thighs together.
Pedro’s fingers found your clit again, slowly beginning to move them in circles once more. He whispered into your ear, his voice low, rough.
„I just want you to admit it, mi vida... Are you desperate for me, darling? Do you need me as much as I need you right now?"
"Always, Pedro." you breathed out. "You know that."
He chuckled, gently kissing your neck again. That admission from you was more than enough for him. He knew you needed him just as bad as he needed you. Without warning, his fingers moved the fabric of your bottoms to the side, his fingertips brushing against your bare, sensitive folds.
"How much do you want me, mi vida?” he whispered. “You need my touch? Need it so bad you're letting me do this right here in public?"
You swallowed thickly, the wetness pooling between your legs intensifying. "Yes, Pedro." you breathed out. "So much."
He hummed happily at your words, pleased with your response. He pushed a single finger inside of you, though not moving it yet.
"You'll need to stay quiet for me, mi amor.“ he murmured. „We wouldn't want anyone to see us, after all. Could you do that, darling?"
You bit your lip, leaning your forehead against the backrest as you let out a strangled breath. "Sure."
Pedro chuckled, moving his finger slowly in and out of you, eliciting a broken moan to spill from your lips. His movement was steady, but he didn't want to rush things just yet. You had time.
"Are you sure you can stay quiet?“ he wondered out loud. „Because you're not being all too quiet right now, mi amor. Just imagine what the others would think if they saw you right now... You're not as good at holding in your sweet little noises as you think you are."
You breathed shakily. "Yes, Pedro." you mumbled as your spine seemed to liquefy to lava. "I can.”
He smiled, chuckling softly in your ear. He knew you couldn't, he knew you would break eventually. But damn if it wasn't fun to tease you like this. He pressed a kiss to your neck.
"We shall see, mi amor. We shall see..."
His finger kept moving, steadily getting faster and rougher as he went along. Continuing to listen to you for now, he paid attention to any noise, any whimpers, or even the smallest of moans you let out.
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to focus on your breathing. White hot pleasure nipped at your nerve endings, want and desire swirling through you.
Pedro knew what he had to do. He moved his finger faster, pressing his lips to your neck, moving up and down the sensitive skin there.
„That’s it, mi vida. Just focus on your breathing.“ he whispered to you, his movements not stopping anytime soon. „Good, good. Just breathe…“ 
You squirmed, feeling lightheaded already. „Pedro.“ you breathed out. „You’re not helping.“ 
„I know.“ he whispered, his lips pressed against the sensitive spot behind your ear. He was enjoying getting this reaction out of you, enjoying this game of his. 
„But I want to see how bad you need Me. How bad you’re craving my touch.” He pressed a kiss to your neck again. „You’re holding out longer than I expected you to, mi amor. Maybe you deserve a little more?“ 
„Please, Pedro.“ you breathed out. For someone so innocent looking he clearly wasn’t. 
He chuckled softly to your begging, amused by your submission to him. He hadn’t expected you to break that quickly. But now that he had you so desperate, begging him… Who was he to deny you, mi amor? 
„You’re doing so good, mi vida. So good for me.“ he whispered to you, moving his finger inside of you faster for a second, before pulling it out and moving it up. He found your sweet nub again, rubbing against it before he started moving his fingertips in figure eights, adding pressure as he went. 
You drew in a sharp breath, hips bucking almost automatically into his hand as more heat crept up your spine. You whimpered, desperately trying to keep quiet. Maybe it hadn’t been your best idea to do this out here. 
He grinned against your neck, enjoying the reaction he got out of you. You were so perfect, so responsive to his touch. To him. He loved it, loved the way you bucked your hips into his hand, trying to get more, the way you whimpered so quietly, trying to keep it in. 
„Shhh, mi amor. Remember you need to stay quiet. You don’t want the people nearby knowing what we’re doing.” he reminded you. As if he had to. “Do you?“ 
You huffed. Or the press. That’d be a headliner, though. Pedro Pascal fucking his younger girlfriend at the public beach. „I know...“ you groaned. Your hips already ached, the coil inside of you winding tighter and tighter. 
„Don’t let out too much more noise, mi amor.” Pedro said, his tone almost a whine as his strong facade crumbled. “I don’t think I can hold out much longer if you keep whining and whimpering like that." 
You whined on purpose, biting your lip, hard. Fuck! you thought. He was driving you right towards the edge of sweet bliss. 
Pedro heard the whine, knowing that meant he was pushing you closer to the edge. He couldn’t hold back anymore, he was too excited and needed you just as bad as you needed him. He gently bit down on your exposed neck, hard enough to leave a mark, causing you to hiss. 
„Hush, mi amor.” he whispered, tongue brushing over the mark. “We’re still in public. Hold back the cute little noises you’re making and I promise, I give you whatever you want later.” 
„Please, Pedro.“ you whimpered, squirming underneath him. „Need you now.“ 
He chuckled in your ear, enjoying your begging. He was getting close to losing control, losing any sense of decency. But he wanted to get you off before he took care of himself, wanting to see you finish first. Hearing you whimper had him losing his composure, so desperate to do it right then and there. 
You whimpered as he picked up the pace, leaving you trembling as you teetered on the edge, gasping for air. „Pedro,“ you breathed out. „I- I’m-” 
He smiled as he heard the desperate way you were begging for him, knowing you were close, and he didn’t dare stop now. 
„Shhh, mi vida. I know… I know you’re close, mi amor.“ he whispered soothingly, wanting to send you over the edge. „Don’t hold it back, mi amor. I‘ve got you. Let go.“ 
You squirmed, drawing in a shaky breath before you squeezed your eyes shut, covering your mouth with your hand as you came, violently clenching around nothing. Your body trembled, hips bucking wildly. 
He could still hear the sweet little whimpers leaving your throat as you came for him. Just hearing you like that almost sent him over the edge on its own, his own breathing heavy in your ear as he helped bring you back down from the high. 
„That’s it, mi amor. Good, good. You did so good for me, mi amor.” 
You gasped for air, trying to steady yourself. Fuck. 
He pulled his hand away, letting you catch your breath for a bit., moving his hands back up to your thighs. He wasn’t done with you yet. „You did such a good job holding back your sweet litle moans, mi amor.“ he whispered to you, leaning down and pressing small kisses to your neck. „Now I think you deserve a little more.” 
You swallowed, wanting nothing more than for him to just fuck you into oblivion already. „Please...“ 
He pressed more kisses to your neck, his hands moving back to the edge of your bikini bottoms, tugging at them. „Please what, mi amor?“ he teased. “You need to tell me, darling. Use your words.” 
„Please fuck me, Pedro.“ you breathed out, not caring how desperate you sounded. You’d go crazy if he wouldn’t be inside of you soon. 
„There you go, mi amor.“ he mumbled, his lips brushing against your sensitive skin, fingers slowly pulling your bikini bottoms to the side once more, exposing you further to him. He loved the sight. He’d never get tired of it.  
„That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.“ he mumbled, leaning down a bit, pressing a kiss to the top of your spine before moving his hands and cupping your ass, squeezing slightly. 
Another sight he’d never grow tired of. He groaned quietly as you wiggled underneath him impatiently, your ass swaying with every movement. Yet he was just as impatient. Pulling his swimming trunks down enough to free his throbbing cock, he gave it a few pumps. He would have been lying if he said he hadn’t already been leaking into his trunks as he’d taken care of you. “You gotta be quiet, baby.” he mumbled, using his precum to lubricate himself. 
„I’ll be quiet.“ you gave back. „I promise.” 
„Good girl.“ he mumbled, positioning himself, before slowly and gently beginning to rub his aching length against your glistening folds, letting the friction build up for a few moments. 
You suppressed a moan, inhaling shakily. He was riling you up and you loved and hated it. 
He smiled, moving his hips just a bit faster. 
„You’re being very quiet, mi amor.” he mused. “Are you actually serious about keeping your promise?“ 
„Yes.“ you breathed out, eyes fluttering. „Yes, mi amor.“ 
Humming happily, he moved his hips again, a subtle hint that he was going to push in, if you were ready. You pushed your ass further up, as good as it was possible in your position. 
„I’m going to hold you to that promise, darling.“ he whispered, his hand gripping onto your hip a bit tighter. 
With one final movement, he finally pushed inside, stretching you oh so deliciously. He moved his fingers back onto your hip to steady you, whilst he sank further and further into your warmth, hissing as your velvety walls clenched and fluttered around him in response. 
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head with a gasp as he split you open. Fuck, so big. You would never get used to his girth, no matter how often he’d fuck you. 
He listened to your reaction, enjoying the way you gasped with a small grin. He always loved to hear you like this, cherishing the moment he’d sink into you. He rarely did it fast, too greedy for the way you reacted, nearly sucking him in. 
„Pussy’s so good to me.” he mumbled, his breath hot against your neck.  He wanted this to last for a while, but he didn’t know how long he could hold out.  
You shivered at his words, clenching around him. He hissed in return, huffing a breathy chuckle. He knew you did it on purpose, and damn if he didn’t love it. 
Slowly, he started moving his hips, trying to be gentle and not rock the chair – or worse, topple it over. It wouldn’t have been the first time, yet he didn’t need it to happen right here where everyone could see. 
He moved slow, wanting to enjoy this, every gasp, every whimper that left your lips. „You're so good for me, mi vida.” he breathed out, hips rutting into you a bit faster. “Pussy’s been made for my cock, huh?”
You clenched around him, sighing his name. “Only for you, baby.”  
A soft moan left his mouth as he felt you clench around him once more. „So sweet and eager for me.” 
He thrust a little harder, faster, effectively fucking the thoughts of other people possibly seeing you out of your head. Leaning closer, his chest brushed your back as he angled his hips to push deeper. 
You moaned quietly, his name leaving your parted lips. „More, please, Pedro.” you whimpered. 
He pressed a kiss to your neck, grinning against your skin as he heard you moan his name again. As you asked for more, he moved a little faster, his hand slipping farther down your body. 
„That’s it, mi amor… Moan my name for me.“ he whispered, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear. He could tell he was getting close already, but he wanted to be absolutely certain you were getting what you needed first. Not that he had any doubts that you were enjoying every second of this, considering your whimpers and sounds, but he wanted to make sure. 
„Let me know when you’re close, mi amor. Want you to finish before me.“ he breathed into your ear, teeth tugging on it lightly. 
You clenched around him once more at his words. Always so considerate. „I will“ you breathed out in a whimper. „Want you to come inside of me. Want your cum dripping outta me, Pedro.” 
He moaned hearing your words. Hearing you telling him exactly what you wanted was just so damn exciting, so hot… it pushed him right towards the edge. 
„Anything you want, mi amor.” he promised. “Will give you anything you want, mi vida. Anything you need.“ 
His movements were getting rougher now, not bothering to hold back from you anymore. He didn’t need to. He could trust you, he knew you wouldn’t give them away to anyone. He just knew. And that allowed him to forget about everything else, just focus on you and this moment right there. 
„Do you need more, mi amor? Are you getting close, mi vida?“ he wanted to know. 
You whimpered in return. „More, please?“ you asked. „Your fingers, please, Pedro. Can feel you twitching already.” 
He growled against your skin, wrapping his arm around your chest, holding you firmly, so he could use his other hand for you. „That’s it. That’s my good, sweet girl. Asking for what you want, being so desperate for me. I like that, mi amor. I’Il give you what you need.“ he mumbled directly Into your ear, the words sending chills through your body as you listened to them. 
„Move your lower half up for me a little, so I can take care of you, mi amor.“ 
You did as you were told, lifting your hips a little. 
Pedro hummed happily feeling you move, giving him a better angle. He was pretty certain that nobody from the beach would be able to see anything from here, and he didn’t care either. All he cared about right now was you and that you needed him. His hand slid down your body, feeling down your stomach for a moment, until it was able to move the fabric of your bottoms aside once more. His fingertips found your sweet clit, rubbing over it in small, quick movements, wanting to please you. Sure, he could have taken his time, could have made you come on his cock alone, but he didn’t know how much time you had until someone would question what was going on under your parasol. He wanted to make sure you felt good, and make sure you’d reach your peek. 
You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you gasped, hoping no one would hear you. 
„Shhh, mi amor, you’re being so good.” he praised you. “Being so quiet. Such a good girl for me. But I know you’re close.“ He moved his hips a little rougher, moving them in a steady, quick pace now, matching his fingers. He was getting close, and he was starting to get desperate, but he never forgot about your needs. 
Moving his fingertips in quick, small circles, he knew it would almost certainly send you over the edge. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to last, but he didn’t care. It was all about you, about making you feel good.  
The pleasure was mind numbing, the way he fucked you always so good. It didn't take long for you to teeter on the edge.
You stiffened slightly in his hold, hiding your face in the backrest of the chair as the coil tightened, and you fell apart, desperately trying to muffle any sounds.  
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he heard you finally let go, falling apart for him. It was an amazing sight when he was able to make you finish, and he loved it. Just then though, he was unable to hold back. You clenching around him, your noises you tried to keep quiet… He finally gave in, coming inside of you, gasping into your ear as he breathed your name over and over again.   
You whimpered, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Perfect, just perfect. 
He pressed kisses to your neck, trying to catch his breath, still holding you against his chest. He needed you close, he just needed to feel you against him, needed to be close to you right in that moment. You grounded him like no one else did.
„I love the way you sound when you come for me, darling.” he mumbled, nuzzling his nose into your neck. “It’s so sweet and perfect. The sounds you make... I love them. I love every part of you…” 
You smiled, still trying to calm your breathing „I love you, Pedro.“ you breathed out, exhausted.  
He chuckled softly into your neck, holding you close against his chest and kissing your neck a couple times. „I love you too, mi vida. So much. You’re perfect.“ 
He slowly pulled out, pulling your bottoms back into place. As much as he would have loved to just stay there with you, he knew they eventually had to move. He had no intention of leaving you anytime soon though. He was happy here on the beach. 
You whimpered involuntarily when he pulled out, sighing deeply as you sank further into the chair. „You’re too good to me, Pedro.“ you mumbled. „Leaving me full of your cum.“ 
He chuckled into your neck, loving how you spoke to him. He was already addicted enough to you, but hearing you using such filthy words... He pressed another kiss to your neck, his own breathing still a little heavy. „I’II always take care of you, mi amor. And I love taking care of you, especially in this way… I can’t deny you what you need, especially when I’m getting something out of it too.“ 
You huffed a chuckle. „Sounds just fair.“ 
He smiled, holding you in his arms, just enjoying the moment before anything else. „It does sound fair, doesn’t it?“ he mumbled. „There is one disadvantage to this, though.“  
You frowned, turning your head so your cheek rested against the backrest. „What is it?“  
He moved his head a little bit, leaning it against yours, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. „I'm not going to be able to let you wander around this beach again wearing just this without thinking of what I’m going to do to you in this seat again.“ 
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emotionalhottiee · 1 day ago
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Whole Again ❤️
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Jimmy Uso/ Jonathan Fatu
This is the conclusion to Broken
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise stated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events in this fanfic are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner.
Warning: 18+ (This content may include explicit material).
Before i knew it we were back at Jon’s condo. And ever since we stepped out of his car, we have been inseparable. Our lips only coming apart to press elevator buttons and open doors. I know that this sounds crazy… But i feel whole again now that we are together. He was made for me.
We reached his door FINALLY. Our lips came undone to allow Jon to unlock his door. He seemed as if he was a bit nervous the way he was fumbling with his keys. It was honestly so cute to watch.
As he held the door open, i walked over towards his leather couch. As much as i missed him, there needed to be a conversation.
Jon was standing by his front door messing with something before he made his way over to the couch. Walking right in front of me, he bent down so he was literally hovering over me. He leaned forward to kiss me again, but i put my hand up abruptly stopping his lips from touching mine. A confused look arose of his face as he moved over to the right of me sitting on the couch, but turning his body so that he was facing me. “We need to have a conversation about the infidelity before we can just move on as if nothing happened.” I stated calmly. Trying my best to get through what was going to be an emotional talk.
You can do this.
“I hadn’t imagined being able to forgive you. Because watching you fuck someone else, in the same bed you fuck me. That killed me inside Jon”. I murmured avoiding eye contact. “And then where’d you go? Chasing a new piece of ass, instead of calling me”. “Your future wife” i threw my hands up doing a very aggressive air quote. Because that is what he always called me. “You cheated and then you moved on as if i meant nothing to you.”
I came undone. As much as i tried to hold back the tears, but they couldn’t be contained any longer as they were steadily falling down my face.
No longer being able to avoid eye contact Jon placed his fingers gently under my chin, lifting my head up until i our eyes met for the umpteenth time tonight. “What happened with that girl meant nothing to me”. My heart was pounding out of my chest. “I made a mistake that i have regretted ever since” he stated his eyes looked past all of my tears, deep into my soul. Sending a wave of chills down my spine.
It is insane how this man, can make me want to apologize to him for the things he did wrong.
I hate to admit that he had the kind of power over me. But he simply did. And then came those words that i had longed to genuinely hear for 5 agonizing days. “I’m Sorry”. He stated his voice deep, but soft for me. He kept lookin into my eyes, pleading to me without saying another word. Crazy how two little words can mean so much. Causing you to forgive even the most hurtful things imaginable. With a simple apology. The pain and hurt and betrayal i had been feeling for the last 5 days, slowly started to vanish.
God i hate how much i love this man.
But he is my true weakness. How can i stay angry at the person, who brings me so much happiness? Why would i? Life is all about forgiveness right? Aren’t you supposed to forgive those who hurt you?
Throughout my internal conflict Jon never took his brown eyes off of me. I saw all the sincerity i needed to see in those eyes. He reached his finger up to my eyes wiping the last of my tears. Before returning his gaze to mine. “I never meant to hurt you Kenzi. I promise it was a terrible mistake that will never happen again”. He said lovingly while he pressed his forehead against mine.
Bringing my hand up to his beard in awe of those facial features that adorned his face. “I forgive you Jonathan” i said calmly again, because i genuinely did. Nobody will understand why it is so easy for me to forgive this man. And it’s simply because i need this man perhaps more than i need my own supply of oxygen. As unhealthy as that sounds my obsession with him is truly that deep.
We exchanged a few more passionate kisses. Whispering sweet nothings to each other in between. As Jon got off the couch first. His towering 6’3 frame bending down in front of me once again. But this time he was scooping me up into his arms as if it were nothing. Our faces coming back together as he carried me into his bedroom, with my legs wrapped around his waist.
I noticed the brand new bed set on his king sized bed. And a small smile crept up on my face. “Im glad he changed the sheets”, i thought to myself relived that he didn’t have those same sheets from his past transgressions.
He laid me down on the king sized bed and he placed a trail of kisses from my cheeks down to my neck. “I love you so much, little mama” he whispered into my neck know that would send me into a frenzy. “I love you too baby” i whimpered back softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he took his large hand gliding it down my body, until he came in contact with my the silver button of my boyfriend jeans.
Sitting up on his knees, he freed up his other hand to slide my jeans down to my ankles, before tugging them off of my body completely. He did the same with my crop top shirt freeing my bra-less boobs from them. I sat myself up on my elbows to watch him. As he stared at my almost naked body, biting down on his bottom lip allowing me to only see the top row of his pearly white teeth. Rubbing his hand over my Fenty boy shorts he smirked feeling the wetness he had cause through my panties. “You missed Daddy didn’t you?” He asked his smirk never leaving his face. All i could do was nod my head, as he inserted his middle finger into my center. I let out a whimpering moan. As he knelt down only nesting his face in my neck to slowly pick up the pace. “FUCK” i let out as my hands tried holding on to the sheets. He placed kisses on my neck knowing his was going to insert another finger. I squeezed my self ever so tightly feeling the added finger. He kept a steady pace as he bought his face up to mine. Telling me he loved me before placing a kiss on my lips.
He knows what he’s doing to me.
I let out a barrage of my moans, as i came on his fingers. He just looked at me grinning from ear to ear. As he pulled out his fingers now covered in my juices. He stood up from the bed, stripping himself of his clothes until he was left in only his boxers. He came back down to me kissing me as he slowly pushed my body flat onto the bed. Planting a trail of kisses as he made his way down to my thighs.
He was unusually quiet, which to me was a sign he was focused. He finally removed my panties after what felt like an eternity. Coming face to face with the pussy that belonged to him. He kissed me on the insides of each thigh before he kissed my vagina. My hands found their way to his hair that was brushed into a bun. Taking out the rubber band that kept it together, so that i could run my fingers through his beautiful curls.
He made out passionately with my vagina, moving back and forth between my opening and clit never missing a beat. At this point my hands embedded in his curly hair pushing his face into my glistening pearl, as i did that Jon took it as a sign to insert his tongue into me. Bringing one hand up message my clit while sliding his tongue in and out of me. feeling me near the edge. He removed his finger from my clit, going back to using only his mouth. He moaned into my pussy instructing for me to cum for his and i gladly obliged.
Making sure to clean me up, with his with tongue, he bought his face back to mine. Kissing me passionately with what was left of my juices that remained on his lips. He slowly rose back to his knees, then off of the bed to his feet to remove his final article of clothing, his boxers. Freeing that big beautiful brown dick of his that was swinging back and forth.
He climbed back in bed, coming down to me, until i felt his entire frame over me. Kissing me once more. All this passion he was giving me had made my knees weaken. He looked me in my eyes in between kisses as he inserted his fully erect penis into me. Both of us letting out of moan of pleasure. Him from feeling my warmth tighten around him. And mine from feeling the dick that i was in love with, enter me again after what felt like forever. I bought my legs up to wrap around his waist as my arms wrapped around his neck. As he feed my pussy stroke after stroke. I dug my nails into his skin as he move one arm to separate my leg slightly allowing him to dig his deepest so that his dick could kiss my cervix.
Trying not to make him bleed from my scratching i opted to move my hand back to his luscious curls, that were now all over the place. While my hands were roaming through his hair he placed his forehead against mine. Signaling to me that he was inching closer to a finish. As was i. He whispered another sweet apology followed by him confessing his love for me again.
Locking our eyes together again. Was enough for me to release all over his member as he groaned against my lips. Waiting for me to ride the last wave of my orgasm. He released his load inside of me mixing all of our juices together inside of me. While getting out his final strokes. He laid on top of me trying to catch his breath. I slightly turned my head towards his as i ran my fingers across his soft back.
He planted a soft kiss on my lips as he rolled off me. I took this as an opportunity to go to the bathroom and get myself together. Before finding one of Jon’s large tshirts to put over my naked body. Laying back in bed, he pulled me to him so that we were skin to skin leaving absolutely no room in between us. He softly let out one last “I love you little mama”, before shutting his eyes. I stared at him while caressing his face. Simply responding with an “I love you too Jonathan”. He smiled eyes still shut as we held each other before drifting off to sleep.
This is where i belonged.
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feroluce · 2 days ago
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So we were talking about Dan Heng reincarnating in the boothenghill server recently. I think there's a lot of wiggle room in there for how it would go, given
a) we know very little about the transmutation arcanum and how All That works and
b) Dan Feng fucked around hard and found out even harder, so anything we would have known anyway is kaput.
This is something that, apparently, has never occurred before. There's no precedent. There should never be two Vidyadhara with draconic features at the same time, but even so, we have Dan Heng and Bailu both displaying tails and horns.
tl;dr I have a permit that says I can do whatever I want!
In the case that they find out Dan Heng will no longer reincarnate the same way- with Dan Feng having successfully broken the line of the Imbibitor Lunae- I think Dan Heng would be happy about it, in a way. He'll reincarnate the same as any other Vidyadhara now, where he will be a completely different person with no memories every time. There's no more pain or expectations to inherit. Whoever comes after him will have the clean slate he'd always wanted.
The only bitterness he holds about the whole ordeal is that it means he'll be leaving Boothill alone.
And so Dan Heng holds out as long as he can, to the point that even Bailu goes before him ("Now next time you'll have to call me jiejie haha!") but eventually the time comes for a hatching rebirth, and he and Boothill make their way back to the Luofu, to Scalegorge Waterscape.
(As he gets older, as he pushes the limit of the Vidyadhara lifespan, Dan Heng gets slightly more delirious, more forgetful. One morning, Boothill wakes up to Dan Heng trying to crawl out of bed half-asleep, asking what time it is. He was supposed to get up early to help Himeko make breakfast, so he can try to save everyone's stomachs.
Himeko has been long gone for centuries.
Boothill coaxes Dan Heng back into bed with him, tells him it's alright, someone else took over breakfast duty this morning. He forgot to tell him last night. Sorry. Dan Heng settles back in, right up against a warm metal chest plate, goes back to sleep.
If he remembers any of this later when he wakes up again, he doesn't say anything. Neither does Boothill.)
Boothill knows the water isn't good for him. He stubbornly wades out as far as he can anyway.
Dan Heng kisses him goodbye, pinches his cheek, tells him to behave himself through the crack in his voice. There's not much left to say at this point, they've been saying their goodbyes for days now. Boothill cheekily makes no promises, even as he slides his own hand over Dan Heng's, cradles the flat of his palm against his face and holds it there as long as he can. Dan Heng finally disappears under the waves.
Boothill still can't cry.
One of the Pearlkeepers has to come up and chase Boothill out, how long he stands there rusting in the water.
He wouldn't tell Dan Heng about it, of course, but as the 700 year mark approached them, Boothill starting having Ideas. And he decides, as he stands there alone in the sand feeling horribly hollow like he hasn't in a long, long time, fine! Fuck it! Fine!!
Execute Operation Last Hurrah!!
Because I think Boothill should get to go out in a petty, spiteful blaze of glory! Let the man die like how he lived!!
Boothill had simmered down a bit after he killed Oswaldo Schneider, and then even moreso when he and Dan Heng got hitched. But now Dan Heng is gone. There's no one left to stick around for, or to keep him together. So Boothill just goes on an absolute bender.
He leaves everything he and Dan Heng had to charities and rebel organizations. He steals whatever he wants from the IPC and then some. He fucks over as many of their plans as he can, and as horribly as he can. He hijacks himself an entire spaceship to hide away whatever it is he's pilfered and made off with- just the things that are no use to anyone else or that he can't give away without causing too much trouble for the receiver, but he can destroy them and make sure they don't fall into the wrong hands ever again.
And then Boothill finds himself a nice cozy little spot in the captain's room, kicks back with his feet up as he sets course for the nearest sun.
He makes himself a sad little one-sided toast, with the godawful sake Dan Heng would always insist was good after you got used to it. Boothill already figures he's not gonna make it to wherever it is Dan Heng ended up. If he does, it's a sign somethin' ain't workin' right.
But oh, Hell is about to become so, so much worse for all them IPC folks down there.
See ya soon, Oswaldo! ☆
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thevoidstaredback · 3 days ago
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One would think that looking for a portal into The Afterlife would be an easy endeavor. You find out what it’s supposed to look like, what energy it puts off, who would have a motive, track them and/or it down, fight and shut down the whole project, call it a day.
There’s one problem with this sequence of events, though. Phantom won’t tell anyone what it looks like, nor will he share what kind of energy it puts off. He’s the only one to have seen a man-built portal into the Realms, so no one else knows what to look for. Any questions had been shut down the second they were asked. This was information Phantom was keeping close to his chest.
After three hours of frustrated discussion, the meeting room emptied. Tensions were rising high due to everyone’s lack of ability to do anything until Phantom gave them the information they needed.
Well, almost everyone left.
Nightwing sat beside Phantom. “Y’know, Constantine said that I’m your favorite bat.”
A few moments of silence sat between them. “You are, yeah.”
He preened at the confirmation. “Oh? Why’s that?”
Phantom chuckled lightly to himself. “I doubt you’d remember, even if I told you.”
“Well, now you have to tell me! If only so that I can make sure my siblings never try to take this spot from me.”
A smile. “I was twenty-two when I first went to Gotham. You were still newish. Twelve, I think?”
If the time seemed weird compared to what Nightwing knew, he didn’t mention it. “Oh? B would’ve been about that age, too.”
Phantom blushed a light green. “Don’t tell him, but I had the biggest crush on him back then.”
That got Nightwing to laugh again. “Is that why you went to Gotham?”
“No. Me, my friends, and my little sister were playing Truth or Dare. I was dared to wander around Gotham without using any powers or getting caught by Batman.”
“You took the dare?”
“Yep. Flew into the city and started to just walk. That’s when I met Lady Gotham, actually. I told her that I wanted to play a game with Batman and Robin and she let me in. She told me to be careful and that I’d lose before wishing me luck.”
“What a vote of confidence.”
“Right? Anyway, I got an hour into the impromptu game of hide and seek that you guys didn’t know you were playing before I spotted you.”
Nightwing leaned his head on his hand, his elbow on the table. “Did my uniform colour give me away?”
“Nope,” Phantom shook his head, “The shadows nearby started moving, so I ran. Ended up somewhere in The Narrows, I think. Anyway, The Lady laughed at me when I told her how scary you guys are, and then you popped outta fucking nowhere and scared the shit outta me!”
Nightwing was laughing again, a bit harder this time. “I think-I think I remember something like that! I was just about twelve when that happened. You were so weird!”
“Me?! You’re the one who started talking about what kind of hunters humans are! I swore to never go back to that city after that.”
“Ha! That sounds like something I would’ve said!” He allowed himself a moment to calm down. “I don’t remember you having white hair, though.”
Phantom shrugged. “That’s because I went as a civilian.”
Okay, so Nightwing met Phantom as a civilian before the rest of his family. That’s another point to him! Though, “You came back to Gotham a bit ago..?”
A sigh. “The House of Mysteries likes to drop me in inconvenient places if I don’t have a set destination in mind. Before I opened the door, I was telling Deadman that I wasn’t going to tell him about my first trip to Gotham no matter how much he pushed. Next thing I know, it’s the middle of the day in Gotham, New Jersey, and I’ve got vigilantes surrounding me on all sides.”
Nightwing cringed back. “Yeah…sorry about that.We were going to ambush Signal on his patrol with lunch, and then we saw some guy walk out of a door that hadn’t ever been there before.” He paused. “How’d you get out of Gotham, actually? We were chasing you, and then the graveyard gates shut before we could get in. We staked it out, but the gates didn’t open for another day.”
Phantom rubbed the back of his neck, his embarrassed blush returning. “I asked the Graveyard Spirits to lock you guys out long enough for me to get away. I left them a shiny on a rock before I left via magic.”
“The door thing, right?”
“Yep.”
“Will you teach me how to do that?”
“Maybe some other time.”
It was quiet for another few minutes, neither peaking up. It was comfortable, though it got less so as it dragged on. Nightwing had more questions he wanted to ask and Phantom was afraid of what they might be.
Phantom sighed, deep, from his diaphragm. “Ask your questions.”
Nightwing hesitated a moment more reluctant to say anything. Finally, quietly, he asked, “This seems like a really sensitive topic for you, the portal. Can I ask why?”
He shrunk in on himself more. “You have a lot more tact than Red Robin, I’ll give ya that.”
Nightwing covered his mouth to try and conceal the small gasp that escaped him. “It has to do with how you died, right?” He shook his head. “No, don’t worry about answering that. I’ll get B and the others off your back about this. We’ll find a different solution.”
The door opened, allowing Constantine and Deadman into the room. They sat across from Phantom and Nightwing, but didn’t say anything. They just sat there, offering silent support.
How did they know?
Phantom didn’t want to share his story. Death, ironically enough, is a sensitive topic for the dead/undead/undying. It drags memories to the surface, painful memories more often than not. Memories and phantom pains and echoes of cries.
Even just the passing thought on a bad day makes him feel the electricity killing him, the portal reviving him. He hears his own screams, drowned out by the humming of an entire world opening up on top of and through him.
He can’t stop the tears falling from his eyes.
It’s…it’s been a long time since he told anyone.
Had he ever told anyone?
Sam and Tucker had been with him when he died. None of them ever told Jazz, but she knew because she was his big sister. Dani knew. Dan knew. Vlad and Valerie and Wes all knew. He told mom and dad, but not the whole story. Never the whole story. Constantine and Deadman and the entire Justice League and affiliates all knew he was dead, even a little bit of what happened after, but he hadn’t told them how.
Red Robin knew, but Phantom hadn’t told him.
Was he ready to tell people? Was he ready for them to know? It had been so long since it had happened, but he could still feel the electricity as though it was happening all over again.
“I was fourteen when I died,” he whispered into the stale air of the meeting room, “My parents had dedicated their entire lives to Ecto-ology, the study of ghosts. In college they and a friend of theirs started working on a way to get into the place they called the Ghost Zone. Vlad got sick before they could even finish the blueprints and had to be quarantined at the hospital. When I was fourteen, they finished building it.
“I love my parents, but for being geniuses, they were really dumb sometimes, y’know? They’d built this thing up, eight feet tall, just as wide, and ten feet deep. It was an amazing feat of science and engineering, but when they plugged it in, it didn’t turn on. They left the lab, not bothering to unplug the thing.
“Anyway, I told my best friends about the failed portal and they insisted on going down to the lab to see it. Who was I to tell them ‘no’?” An unwilling victim. “Sam dared me to go inside. And I was fourteen, so backing out of a triple-dog-dare is like making a fool of yourself before a king’s court! So, I went into the portal.
“Somehow, it was darker on the inside despite work lights lining the floor and ceiling. Mom and dad were never huge on lab safety… The one flaw in their blueprints- the one reason that the portal hadn’t turned on, was because the switch had been built inside the dumb thing. I tripped and the next thing I know, I’m on the other side of the room, somehow both dead and alive.”
It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. A small, barely noticeable weight, but he felt lighter nonetheless.
He’d obviously left out details, not even entertaining the idea of telling them how it felt to die.
Deadman’s voice was rough in the room, only barely louder than Phantom’s had been. “There are legends told throughout the Realms about creatures who walk the precarious balance between Life and Death, known collectively as Osiris in the Realms, though humans call them Halfas. Throughout Time, each individual has earned a title, a name to be called. Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms and Her people, was given the title Anubis.”
“So,” Nightwing asked softly, “Are all the gods these..Halfas?”
“No,” the ghost shook his head, “The gods are a different race entirely. They simply share names as titles.”
Constantine looked Phantom in the eye. “Phantom, we need to know what we’re looking for.”
He didn’t want to. He really didn’t want to think about this anymore.
“I’ll draw out the finished product, but it might’ve been changed after such a long time.”
“Speaking of time,” Constantine jumped in again as the ghost went to get some paper and pens, “I’m a bit confused about your timeline of events.”
“Oh?”
“You told me that just about a hundred years have passed since you last saw your Fraid.”
“I did.”
“Huh? But, you said we first met when I was twelve.”
“That’s also true.”
“Things aren’t lining up, kid.”
This time, his sigh was more put-upon and less world-weary. “I told you that Time is weird in the Realms. I have existed in Time for thirty-eight years. My Fraid has existed in Time for a hundred-thirty-eight years. The town I grew up in sits a little to the left of the rest of the world’s Time, meaning that it moved slower than you guys.”
“That…I still can’t…what?”
“Don’t focus too hard on it, it’ll just give you a bigger headache.”
Part 17 Part 19
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yanderedollie · 19 hours ago
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he’s the only one i could call
“fuck.” i groaned, leaning my head back against the headrest.
i lightly slammed my hands down on the steering wheel and lowered my music.
my car had broken down a few cities over from my own.
i picked up my phone to check the time.
3am… of course it is. nobody i know is gonna be up right now to save me.
“this is what i get for neglecting the check battery light” i think to myself. my car stalled a few more pathetic attempts to start as i realized i didn’t have the money for a tow service right now either.
i glanced around and picked up my phone to check maps. maybe there’s a 24 hour diner, or somewhere i can stay till it’s a reasonable hour.
nothing. i wanna throw my phone after i check how far i actually am from my apartment.
as i try one last attempt to move around the map and find a savior my heart drops to my stomach, and leaps back into my throat once i realize just exactly where i am.
two neighborhoods over is his house.
i giggle to myself as an idea flashes in my mind.
before i continue i’ll give context.
the whole reason i’m even cities over from my own was because i took a drive to clear my head. to try and forget him.
i had been trying everything i could but he was always gnawing at my brain. always. and i had been trying to control my obsessive tendencies after our fall out.
i had been doing good but, stuck in a neighborhood so close to his house made my body ache.
my fingertips tingled in anticipation as they hovered over my phone screen.
i wondered if he was even awake. he never really had a great sleep schedule. i checked the time again… 3:05.. i hope he’s not with her.
i nibbled at the inside of my cheek before i threw all reason out the window…
it rang a few times before a familiar, sleepy voice, answered
“[name]?”
my breath caught in my throat before i answered
“hey… hey i’m sorry i know it’s late- were you sleeping?”
“yeah but it’s fine.. are you okay? why are you calling?”
i smiled to myself. he still cares.
“i’m fine! i’m okay! swear. it’s just my car broke down really close to you. everyone i know is asleep…”
i trailed off. i probably sounded so desperate. it dripped off of me.
“[name].. i’m with my girlfriend.. cant- cant you call a tow service?”
i bit the inside of my cheek again. hard. i don’t care about his girlfriend. i’ll kill her.
i shook my head and nervously played with a loose thread at the end of my dress
“i.. uh.. dont have that kind of money right now.”
i sound genuinely pathetic
“i see… uh.. okay um i can come help you. just send me your location… and [name]?”
“hm?”
i practically whined at the idea of him coming to rescue me
“i’m just going to jump start your car and leave okay? please don’t make this a.. a thing”
that stung. i swallowed hard and nodded like he could see me
“yeah. it- it wont be.”
my phone beeped indicating he ended the call. i squirmed in my seat as i sent him a pin of my location.
make it a thing? what the fuck?
i wanted to rip out his throat.
shifting uncomfortably i waited outside in the cold. i leaned up against the drivers side window, shivering and pathetic.
when his cars headlights pulled onto the street i was on i felt my heartbeat quicken and my body tingle.
i was starving.
“hey..”
he said, walking up to my car with cables in his hand
“hi…i’m sorry again about this.”
i smiled softly at him. he always liked when i smiled at him that way… i hoped he felt something. anything.
he smiled back and i swear i could see his eyes linger over my body for a little too long
i felt like pouncing on him like a predator catching its prey.
“no worries. i told my girlfriend i’d be quick so, lets do this”
i felt rage flicker in my gut. stop fucking talking about her.
“right..”
i clearly sounded upset but i didn’t care.
my bones ached as i watched him attempt to jump start my car. he looked as gorgeous as ever.
it started pretty much instantly and i panicked. he couldn’t leave yet. no, no, no, not yet.
“w-wait!”
i practically yelled at him
he stopped abruptly, clearly taken aback by my sudden outburst
“what?!”
he was visibly concerned. never mad. he never really could get mad at me.
i felt tears well up in my eyes
“don’t leave…please.. i’m-i’m sorry. it’s been so long since i've seen you. i had to see you. i can’t stop thinking about you. please please don’t go…”
i felt so many emotions bubble inside of me, i felt like i was going to burst
he stared at me for a long time… then.. he smiled.
“cute.”
i swallowed and looked down at my feet
“stop. i’m sorry. that was really stupid.”
i didn’t look up but i heard him take a step towards me
“[name]….”
i looked up. he was right in front of me, closer to me than he had been in months.
i clenched my jaw. i could smell his cologne and my knees nearly buckled.
“stop it!”
i stepped back. i wanted him so bad but i knew it was wrong. i wanted to kill his girlfriend and rip out his throat, but i was trying so hard to be better. i was really trying
he let out a soft laugh and reached for my hand
“i guess i’m the one making it a thing…”
he held my hand in his so gently i felt myself melt.
“no. we can’t…”
i sounded small, pathetic, desperate. i clearly didn’t mean a word.
“hmm”
he hummed gently, moving his hand up to brush some loose hair behind my shoulder and trace my neck
“why not?”
i didn’t answer, i just held his gaze. it was so intense i nearly looked away.
i knew i could eventually get him where i wanted him…but.. i didn’t think it'd be this easy.
i shivered at his touch and something flickered in his eyes
“you look as beautiful as ever. i like this dress on you..”
he sounded starving now.
“it’s new”
i squeaked.
“mm very pretty, doll”
i let a whimper escape my lips at the nickname and he grinned
“come here.. let me warm you. it’s so cold out here…”
i stepped closer to him without a second thought. anything he wanted i would do it. anything at all.
he wrapped his arms around me and i couldn’t contain myself anymore.
i tangled my fingers into his hair and pressed my body against his, whimpering in the process.
i needed him bad. primal. animalistic
his hands roamed my body, grabbing and groping every part of me.
my breathing quickened as i melted into his touch.
“please..please”
was all i could manage to moan out.
he was barely touching me but i felt my pussy throb and dampen at every grab and tug from his hands
“you’re so pathetic. it’s adorable”
he cooed into my ear before nibbling it a little
we were still outside leaning against my car, his hand travelling up my dress and teasing the waist band of my panties
“[name]… please..”
i couldn’t control myself around him. he was so warm. so sweet. so perfect.
all of a sudden he pulled away tugging my body towards his car. fast.
i barely had time to register what was going on before i was in the backseat and he was looming over me.
i could see glimpses of him in the moonlight. he looked so disgustingly perverted and hungry for me. i fucking loved it.
“you’re such a fucking tease in this little dress. begging me to come save you, to rescue your pathetic ass…”
he said in breathy whispers as he groped my tits and pinched my nipples through the fabric of my dress
i moaned loudly and squirmed underneath him, feeling his hard cock pressed against my thigh
“i can’t believe you [name]. i can’t believe what you do to me”
he quickly slipped the dress off of me and his mouth was on my naked body in an instant. digging his nails into my waist and leaving sloppy, uncoordinated kisses, over my chest and stomach
“mmm… fuck… [name]… please just use me however you want”
i whimpered pathetically each time he moved his mouth or hands
“oh i will.”
i could barely stay conscious between his hands wrapped around my throat and him rubbing his thick cock against the fabric of my panties
it all felt so good i nearly came just from that alone
he ripped my panties off and shoved his cock into my dripping pussy with one swift motion, i saw stars
i coughed and sputtered from the pressure on my neck as he rammed into my cunt
“oh my god.. fuck.. [name] you feel incredible”
he released his grip on my neck to move a hand down to my aching pussy
he gently rubbed my clit as he pumped in and out of me and i could’ve sworn i saw god.
i whined like a pathetic dog as he violated me in ways i had never experienced from him before.
i knew our past sex was good but holy shit
“[name].. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry”
he apologized profusely as he struck me across the face and rammed into me harder
“you’re just so pathetic, i can’t help myself…”
all i could get out was pathetic whines as i looked up at him with desperation.
i wanted more. i wanted everything he could give me. whatever he wanted to do i would take it and i would love it.
“fuck. fuck. fuck. [name] you’re so tight”
he groaned loudly as he rubbed my clit faster
i clenched around his cock as i felt him release a huge load of hot cum inside my womb
i came at the same time, my pussy spasming on his cock as we both let out animalistic groans and pants, clinging to each other like this would be the last time
it was never the last time.
“oh my god..”
was all he could manage into my ear as he collapsed on top of me
i could feel our heartbeats colliding into one, pounding against both of our chests
i laid there staring up at interior of his car, catching my breath
i had asked him to come rescue me in hopes that maybe he’d feel something for me when he saw me
i asked him to save me because i needed to see him
come to find out…. he felt the exact same way
i smiled to myself as he played with my hair, still laying on top of me and softly breathing into my neck
we hadn’t spoken a word to each other yet but, i knew.
i knew he felt the same way i did
all this time i thought he had moved on
but we were just as desperate and perverted for each other as we had been back then
i really need to kill his stupid girlfriend. then he’ll be mine forever.
so much for “getting better”
i never will as long as he’s breathing. i never wanted to in the first place.
“i love you [name]”
he sighed softly, placing a gentle kiss on my neck
“i love you too”
i will never let my darling go… ever. again.
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stump-not-found · 2 months ago
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fic drops tomorrow
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spinnysocks · 2 months ago
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i don't know how else to say this but we as a society need to stop seeing small pet death as funny. in fact, we need to stop normalising putting them in danger for our entertainment. i have owned hamsters all my life; they are such beautiful little creatures. they are so fragile that it made me so anxious for them because i cared for them. yet, movies or tv shows present hamster death as a joke somehow. this must have had a knock-on effect on people's views because i have seen so many people making fun of a dead pet on social media. i have seen so many people laugh because somebody's pet hamster died/because someone is grieving it. is it funny because you see them as small and insignificant? because a hamster is seen as a stupid, tiny creature that holds no worth? so you laugh at its death? i genuinely cannot understand it. where is the joke. i feel genuine grief for hamsters who have been put in danger or died because of neglect, just to be recorded and laughed at by the same species who domesticated them. the same species who made them pets and are supposed to look after them. yeah maybe i'm sensitive but i think i should be. how could the death of a tiny, innocent, unknowing little animal we made our pets, an animal so fragile and reliant on us, be funny.
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b4kuch1n · 1 year ago
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hi! birthday. which means it's finally time t
yo what the itch store is fixed up now
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damn what? I don't know where this came from. look all the comics I put on g*mr**d a year ago are back here again with all the formatting and typesetting by @fireflysummers as well as the exclusive bonus art wtf who did this. my werewolf comic on here too what the hells!! that one also got re-toned for printing if u want to AND an exclusive cover spread !!! what the fuck!!!!! come see for urself I can't make this shit up
#bakuspecial#comic#itch.io#bakugoods#<- made up a tag for when I sell things that aren't commissions just now#for folks who still remember me talking abt a physical run of these comics: I'm so sorry this year and the last have been brutal#and I live in a well and suffer a curse of international mails never going well. so the logistics became Very complicated#I still think abt it tho! I've prepped up all the assets just bc I thought abt it so much... we picked out a gift print for the orders#And a bonus print for the pack#but I couldn't gather my brain enough to make it happen. yet#it takes a bit of overhead so I gotta build that up. which is. right now talk for after the shit that just happened to me got smoothed out#but I do want it to happen. I've been sitting on this exclusive custom print for like two years now#I really love that drawing its so cute. I still hold that project close to my heart#anyways uhh itch store! happy birthday to me!#last year this time was so rough I didn't even Want to think about my birthday lol#strangely enough with this small little fragmentation grenade we just got I became more motivated to fuck around on my bday lmao#probably out of spite. hammer philosophy#my parents love making a whole thing out of me and the brother's bdays lol so dinner's gonna be something#but for now I can still chill. and prep up stuff. and do my thang#if u look thru the itch store and get something from there thank u so much! I hope the comics treat u well#and now. I make hot drink. have a good day lads! do a little jig for us let's go
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dollypopup · 9 months ago
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y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!
like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.
and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye
you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .
when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?
if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self
and that's that on that
#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion#tagging it#polin#sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired#of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag#and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc#you can't change my mind#if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin'#levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!!#yeah definitely try out the marriage market#realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market#try to get over him w/ whomstever#but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!!#because otherwise i am not here#i am asleep#and i am courting colin in your place pen#i'm coming for your man#anti debling#if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead#it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity#and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves#and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest)#he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto#so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more#and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love#which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do#anyways y'all ain't slick#and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else'#maybe you. . .don't ship the couple??#like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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trans-axolotl · 1 year ago
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have not left bed today + found out another friend got locked up + want to beat up every single adult that saw what was happening to me and looked away or actively made it worse
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not-brionnnne · 1 month ago
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hey has anyone ever considered doing shinjiro smut for after the fade to black but he lays you across his lap, like has anyone ever considered the canon praise kink with him more—shinjiro who scolds you, calls you trouble and tells you to stay close to him like a "good girl", shinjiro who acts tough, pretends to be fed up with you pushing him around (he loves it, but that doesn't mean you're not gonna hear about it), ignoring what he wants, so two can play that game, and you think, god, he's not holding back anymore, he's going to kiss me, finally, we're going to— but no, he settles on his bed and pats his lap and tells you that you need to "take responsibility" for teasing him like that, messing with his feelings — "be a good girl." remember, you started this.
#shinjiro aragaki#suggestive#i also like the idea of asking him to do something and he outright scoffs like fully has an attitude about it#tries to remind you what he said about ignoring his needs and asks you what makes you think he's gonna pay attention to yours#you think you get to ask him anything? that's cute#i love playing into that though like i know everyone is all in on the 'i ain't holding back anymore bit' but sorry#man says 'you think you can just push me around? ignore what i want? yeah. well. two can play that game' in that VOICE too? whew boy#like i think he should get to do that a little bit i think he should put me over his lap until i behave#fuck i think it should be more than that though like imagine him lifting you and just. like. tossing you onto the bed.#trying to sass him about the noise and he's like 'you think i give a shit about those guys when i got you right here?' like#i want him to take the wind out of me ya feel i want to talk shit get bit#hit a little too but like open handed#or maybe he tosses you on the bed and you're like 'oh shit oh shit' and then he sits at the foot of it and fucking#PULLS you onto his lap and rucks up your skirt just like that and there are a few moments - a hitched breath#'under negotiated kink' i don't CAREEE that's part of the fantasy like how hot would it be to just have someone tick those boxes untold#either way whether he gets wild or not (preferably yes but maybe needs time to warm up)#it's like. god. he should get to y'know. like (some of) my autonomy being taken from me without him ever overstepping is hot. hot. hot.#he should bend me over his lap and make me keep count while he very tenderly very lovingly mocks me#condescending about the great leader letting herself be treated like this and enjoying it literally makes you turn around#and finally finally touches you properly but he fucking laughs and you're red-faced and he goes 'isn't that embarrassing' and ramps up#so you can't even answer him#god should i try to write this#i think i'm too much of a perfectionist to do this sometimes because i'll stew and never get it done ugh#anyway.#filth#pure filth#thank you#i think we outdid that suggestive tag#smut#(for safety)
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secondpersonpoetry · 3 months ago
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you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one! 
oh. oh.
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#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
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l0rd-0f-c0ws · 4 months ago
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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eastofedean · 6 months ago
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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spamtoon · 8 months ago
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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