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of-a-chaotic-mind · 11 months ago

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Shaken Not Stirred

Summary: Reader attends an investigation with her boyfriend Sam and best friend Colby. Unfortuantely for her, it doesn't quite go as smoothly as she'd hoped it would.

TW/CW: Reader gets scratched by a ghost and scared a few times. Sam Golbach x Reader

Requested?: No

A/N: Writing a spoopy imagine while watching spoopy Sam & Colby videos all with the lights off aside from red lights to up the spoopiness is fantastic. Surprisingly, I'm less spooped than I would be just watching Sam & Colby vids with the lights on and not multitasking lmao.

Y/N's POV

As we stepped into the abandoned, slightly decrepit haunted prison. We had spoken briefly with a friend of our guide outside before starting this tour and she had warned me, “Girl you are braver than I am.” Upon tilting my head at her, she continued, “I won’t ever step foot in that place after hearing so many stories from other ladies. Stick close to your boys.” Apparently, the entities in this place enjoy messing with and scaring ladies the most.

Colby’s voice brings me out of my thoughts, “Dude, look at this place!” I scan my eyes around the immense entry hall. The cement walls impose a sense of dread. The stuffy sour smell of the place makes my stomach roil.

I instinctively inch closer to Sam who’s at my side. I can already tell the warning wasn’t falsely founded. Just being in here makes me feel extremely uneasy and very unwelcome. Dating a paranormal investigator means I’ve visited plenty of haunted locations but this one was much worse than any other.

As our guide began the tour, I practically glued myself to Sam’s side making him look down at me. “You alright?” He questions, concern written plainly across his face.

I think for a moment before nodding, “Yeah just already feeling unwelcome.”

The guide breaks in, “Ladies typically do feel set apart from the gentlemen. As this was a male only prison, they don’t typically take kindly to female visitors.”

Sam looks even more worried now, “You can always sit this one out.”

I shake my head, “I’m alright for now but I’ll let you know if I need to step out.” Sam nods as our guide takes that as his cue to continue on. The first bit of our tour goes pretty quietly. Just as I am starting to loosen up and shake the uneasiness, I hear someone or something whisper yell very closely to my ear. Having stepped away from Sam, I race back to him and nearly leap into his arms.

“What?!” He questions, voice full of worry, “What happened?”

I look up at him and then around at our group, fear etched across my face, “Did you guys not hear that?” Everyone shakes their heads spurring me to explain, “I just heard something whisper super loud in my ear. Like, I don’t know how you guys didn’t hear it.”

Sam wraps his arms tighter around me, “Do you need a minute?”

I bury my face into his chest to take a few deep breaths before shaking my head, “No, I’m alright. Let’s keep going.” Carrying on with the tour, I keep my head on a swivel and my hand tightly clasped around Sam’s.

By the time we begin our investigations, I’ve loosened up again. Sam sets out the two flashlights after explaining for the video what they do. Colby also sets out a REM pod and shows the camera what it does. As everyone steps away from the devices, the REM pod starts going nuts. “Alright, I guess that’s a good sign that we should get started,” Sam states to the camera. The boys begin bouncing around questions and receiving responses but the REM pod just keeps screaming at us.

Finally, having had enough of the high pitch shrill, I gave up my courage and speak up, “I’m sorry to interrupt boys but whoever is beside our little red light over there could you please step away? It’s starting to hurt my ears.” The device goes silent immediately upon finishing my sentence. Sam, Colby, and I look at each other in shock before they continue on with questioning the flashlights. After only a couple questions and answers, I jump close to Sam. Something had just whispered again. I bury my face in Sam’s chest once more as he rubs my back.

“I heard that one,” Sam says more to Colby than me, “There was a whisper.”

Colby shakes his head, “I didn’t hear it but she sure did,” he says motioning to me. I back away from my shelter and motion for the boys to continue.

After a while and a couple of investigations, Sam and Colby decide it’s time to bring out the Estes Method. As Colby goes under, Sam leans over to whisper to me, “Do you want to sit this one out?” I shake my head but take his hand in mine. Sam begins asking questions and immediately receives answers. As the questions get more intense, I hold Sam’s hand even tighter trying not to show how terrified I am. I know that if Sam knows how scared I am he’ll cut it and we’ll leave.

“Is there anything specific you’d like us to know before we leave?” Sam asks. We receive, “Yeah,” from Colby just as something grabs the back of my neck. I leap from my seat and scream so loud that Colby yanks the headset and blindfold off looking around slightly panicked. Sam jumps up to collect me in his arms, checking me over as I try to calm my shaking and my eyes dart around trying to pinpoint the source of my fear.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Colby asks, standing from his chair.

Sam, whose inspection has brought him around behind me, waves Colby over out of the corner of my eye. Colby steps behind me as I feel Sam lower the back of my shirt slightly and lift my ponytail. “Holy shit,” Colby mumbles as I see a flash and hear a camera shutter.

I hide my face in my hands as Sam gently spins me around to face them. He places his hands on either side of my face, “I’m here. I’ve got you. You are safe,” he pauses taking a deep breath, “Do you want to see it?”

I nod shakily, knowing he’s referring to the picture of whatever is on my back. Colby shows me the screen of Sam’s phone. There is four long scratches from my hairline to between my shoulder blades, thankfully not drawing blood. Saying nothing I simply bury my face in Sam’s chest once again and his arms immediately wrap around me. “She’s shaking,” Colby notes.

“Yeah, we need to leave,” Sam states already moving toward the exit. Colby collects the gear before quickly catching up to us. About halfway to the car, Sam stops and lifts me into his arms. Once we reach the car, Sam opens the passenger door and gently sits me down in the seat. I clutch onto his shirt, not wanting him to pull away but he takes my hands in his, kissing them before placing them in my lap and squatting down in front of me.

Sam brushes my hair away from my face and that’s when I finally notice the same fear from my face copy and pasted onto his. His hands shake slightly as he kisses my forehead. Looking into my eyes once again, “I love you but the next time I see you so shaken just walking into a location, you’re sitting out or we’re leaving. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you.” I nod my head and finally seeming content that I’ve calmed down he stands, “Pull your legs in, Darling.” I do as instructed before Sam closes the door and makes his way over to the driver side door as Colby slides into the backseat.

Colby leans forward and pats my head as Sam cranks the car and begins exiting the property. “You’re gonna be okay, Kid,” Colby affirms before he leans back to get comfortable for the ride home. Colby’s always been like a brother to me and no matter how well he hides it, I know he’s just as scared as Sam and I. Sam takes my hand in his as we make our way back to the hotel.

Masterlist

More Sam Golbach Imagines

#sam golbach #sam golbach imagines #sam golbach imagine #sam golbach oneshot #sam golbach oneshots #sam and colby #sam and colby imagine #sam and colby imagines #sam and colby oneshots #sam and colby oneshot

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cutieebabyy · 1 month ago

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avoidance - k.b

summary: y/n and katsuki are best friends, but what happens y/n suddenly realizes her feelings for him and ends up avoiding him, thinking he doesn’t reciprocate those feelings?

(happy ending. suggestive ending.)

catching feelings for katsuki was never on my bucket list. for some apparent reason, my heart chose him. my best friend out of all people. am i crazy for loving him? even though he’s immensely flawed and incredibly rude at times, i find myself enamored with him.

katsuki has never been one for affection, but sometimes he’ll leave me some leftovers of the food he made the night before with a note on it, telling me to eat it before it goes bad. oh, and that time when he got kidnapped by the league of villains and he slept with me in my room for days. there’s also that time when everybody thought we were dating and he didn’t deny it.

am i foolish enough to slightly believe he’s got some sort of feelings for me? probably.

sometimes i catch him staring at me when he tutors me and i notice his walls crumbling, but when he realizes i’ve caught him, he immediately looks away. so, maybe he’s not totally in love with me?

whether he is or not, i cannot be the one to confess and suffer from the possibility of being rejected. so, instead of coming clean about my feelings for him, i avoid him.

i give him the cold shoulder. and i know he notices. or, well, i hope he does.

and i thought it was going amazing. i mean, i avoided him for weeks! although, it was kind of awkward when we ended up in the common rooms alone. or on the rooftop. or on the training grounds.

unfortunately, it didn’t last long.

i’m currently in my dorm, taking some notes with some soft music playing in the background. music helps me concentrate and without ‘suki, i desperately need anything that’ll help me pass this stupid exam.

a knock snaps me out of my thoughts. maybe it’s mina coming to get her headphones back. she accidentally left them here the last time we had a sleepover.

knock.

she knocks again and i sigh. “gee, i’m going!”

when i open the door, mina bakugo stands at my door. he exhales a shaky breath, looking back at me. he looks shocked i even opened the door. unfortunately, i didn’t even know it was him. had i known, i wouldn’t have opened it, no matter how much i truly missed him.

“y/n.” he pushes his way past me and takes a seat on my bed. i scoff, crossing my arms against my chest. “sure, come on in.” i mutter sarcastically, shutting the door behind me.

“what are you doing here, katsuki?” i ask.

“you’ve been avoiding me.” thank you, sherlock holmes. “why?” he runs a hand through his hair, gazing up at me with those crimson eyes.

i shrug. “just needed space.”

“from me?” my heart breaks at the vulnerability in his voice and i instantly regret avoiding him. katsuki has always had a hard time articulating his emotions and even more expressing them, so for him to let his walls down and show me the genuine despair just proves how much he cares for me. “did i do something? look, i’m sorry for giving deku crap again, he jus—“

“it’s not that, ‘suki, and no, you didn’t do anything. i promise.”

“then, what is it? please, help me out here, y/n, because i’ve never felt this way before and i—“ he inhales sharply, rubbing his hand over his chest. i crumble at the sight. i hurt him. in hopes of not getting my own heart broken, i hurt his and now i’ve hurt my own, too.

“oh, ‘suki.” i make my way over to him and wrap my arms around his neck. his head rests over my stomach and he sighs. “tch, i missed you, idiot.” he looks up at me, his ears tinting pink.

“i know. i’m sorry. i missed you.” i rake a hand through his hair. “i just—“

“you just what, hm?” he hums.

“i can’t say it. you’re going to hate me.”

“i could never hate you, y/n.”

a few moments pass of us staring at each other before i decide to finally blurt it out. “i’m in love with you.”

“is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” he pauses. “‘cause you’re in love with me?”

i bite the inner corner of my lip. “uh-huh.” my hand tightens around his hair, but he doesn’t pay any mind to it— not even a wince.

“you idiot.” my heart stops. “i’m in love with you, too. if you’d just told me instead of being a scaredy cat, you’d have known that.”

before i can reply, he reaches up, curls a hand around the back of my neck, and smashes his lips onto mine. he doesn’t waste any time, forcing his tongue into my mouth. i gasp before biting down on his lip. he growls, pulling away from me. “you just made me bleed?”

i don’t apologize nor do i look away from the blood oozing from his bottom lip. “i love you, ‘suk.”

“yeah, yeah. love ya more, brat.”

i chuckle, crashing my lips onto his again, toppling down on the mattress with him.

by the time we’re done, i can’t even remember why i ever avoided him in the first place.

#bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki x reader #mha #bnha #x reader #romance #happy ending #angst with a happy ending #light angst #bakugo imagine #bakugo oneshot

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nochukoo97 · 1 year ago

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boyfriend drabbles (pt.15)

pairing: jungkook x oc

summary: the one where jungkook almost gets into a fight with a guy for you

word count: 1k+

boyfriend drabbles masterlist!

You’re watching Jungkook happily chatting away with Mingyu, ordering another beer from the bar.

Normally you would tell your boyfriend whenever you had felt uncomfortable or uneasy in any situation, Jungkook was always there to protect you and made you feel ten times better.

But now, despite the fact that there was a man sitting afar and staring uncomfortably long at you, you couldn’t help but feel immense guilt in even thinking about asking your boyfriend to leave the club with you.

Jungkook had been putting off hanging around with his friends for a really long time, they always made plans on days that clashed with you and Jungkook’s dates. But even with telling him to go with his friends instead and that you could rearrange the date, your boyfriend was too much of a sweetheart to do so.

Jungkook had always brushed it off and said that there was always a next time to hang out with his friends, and that he preferred to hang out with you even more, but he had practically waited a whole month to simply hang out with Mingyu and the rest of his friends.

“Hi Jagi,” The voice coming from behind you jolts you from your daze, as you turn behind to meet a very concerned Jungkook.

“Hi baby,”

You try your best to force a smile on your face despite wanting to curl up into his arms and ask him to drive you home.

“Wanna head home? You seem tired, we can go back and watch a movie together,” He brushes the hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear as he pecks your lips.

Jungkook is too much of a sweetheart, you think.

“It’s okay baby, I’m enjoying myself here, go back to your friends, when you want to leave just come here, ‘kay?”

Your boyfriend frowns, as if he can see right through you.

“Are you sure? I want to go home when you want to go home jagi,” He holds both your hands and caresses them.

“Baby I’m fine, go on,” You laugh, nudging him to walk back to his friends as he blows you a dramatic kiss.

You decide to sit at the bar, letting yourself stray away from the loud noise from people dancing with the music.

“Hey pretty,”

Your head whips up in surprise as you’re met with the same guy, smirking oddly at you as you internally cringe.

“I have a boyfriend, sorry,” You smile apologetically at him, presuming he had only good intentions with you.

“So? I can take you home pretty girl, probably satisfy you better than your boyfriend does” He laughs, making you frown and scoot your chair away from him.

What the hell.

“No thanks, I think I’m good,” You swat away his hand that inches near your seat.

“Why not, I’m probably much better than your boyfriend, bet he isn’t as jacked up as I am,”

That makes you cringe both externally and internally, goosebumps forming at your skin.

“Get the fuck away from my girlfriend,”

There’s a tattooed hand grabbing the guy’s shirt, your boyfriend’s face contorting into an angry, and very unfriendly expression.

Much different to what he was like to you a good twenty minutes ago.

“Chill, chill sorry bro,”

The guy raises his hands, looking so-not-jacked as compared to Jungkook’s tall and muscular figure that hovers above the man.

“Don’t call me bro, you disrespected my girlfriend, fucking asshole,”

Jungkook pushes the man away, releasing his grip on the shirt.

You’re expecting a very angry Jungkook to turn and face you,

Instead he has the biggest bambi eyes, hands grabbing yours as he worriedly searches you for any wounds or bruises.

“Jagi, did he do anything, are you okay?” Jungkook’s thumb brushes against your cheek, it’s as if he was a totally different person from how he was acting now.

“Kook I’m fine, he didn’t touch me, just made me a little uncomfortable,”

You grab onto his hand still searching, affirming that you were in fact not hurt, thanks to Jungkook coming to your rescue before anything escalated.

“Why didn’t you come and tell me, I would’ve protected you sooner Jagi-ah,”

You feel a pang in your chest. You feel guilty for not telling him, he seemed genuinely hurt, probably used to you always coming to him no matter how small or big the situation was.

But at the same time you knew you would have felt just as guilty if you had called him and stripped him off of his time with his friends.

“Jagi, you can tell me anything, y'know?”

Jungkook can see right through you.

“M’sorry baby, I felt so bad because you always canceled on your friends for me, didn’t want to deprive you of the one time you had a chance,”

You’re fiddling with your fingers as you look down at your lap.

“I knew something was up, even before that,” Jungkook raises your gaze with a finger under your chin.

“Jagi, if you want to go back, I would just as much love to spend time with you, probably even more than staying here for the rest of the night,”

You might cry from how sweet Jungkook was being.

You hum in response, then pecking his lips.

Jungkook’s smile is quite literally radiating, from the glow of the lights in the club and probably you being too in love with him.

“Let’s go back ‘kay? We’re watching Barbie in bed,” Jungkook grabs your hand and leads you to the entrance.

Thank goodness for your boyfriend, you wouldn’t know what to do without the man.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook #jungkook au #jungkook ff #jungkook smut #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #bts #bts ff #bts fic #jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook #jungkook imagine #boyfriend jungkook

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spencerreidsbookfairy · 3 months ago

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SET UP.

famous!readers back you guys and its angstier than ever.

Okay so I skipped dinner.

I physically couldn’t handle the expected awkwardness

I lied and told him my manager needed to to talk me and it was urgent

He's a profiler you dumb bitch

Part of me feels bad, but it’s not like I don’t want to make amends with him and his team; it’s just that ever since I was a little girl, I’ve struggled with confrontation, and it’s followed me into adulthood. I know avoiding the issue won’t make it go away, and I’m fully aware that he probably sees right through my excuse. Still, the thought of facing him and his team, of having to explain myself and potentially deal with their disappointment, feels like too much to handle right now. It’s frustrating to be so paralyzed by something as simple as a conversation, but I’m hoping that with time and a bit of courage, I can find a way to address it.

Adding to my anxiety about confronting them is the lingering sting of how they treated me behind my back. I’d overheard them making fun of my singing and mocking my songs, which felt like a punch to the gut. It wasn’t just the hurtful comments but the sense of betrayal from a group I had hoped would be supportive. The thought of facing them now feels like stepping into a hostile environment, where every word and gesture might be laced with judgment or ridicule. This makes my reluctance to confront the situation even more overwhelming, as the fear of being dismissed or belittled looms large.

On top of everything, I already feel incredibly insecure about being around Spencer’s team. Here I am, a singer trying to make a name for myself, while they’re FBI profilers, experts in their field, and it’s hard not to feel like my career is a joke in comparison. The stark contrast between our worlds—my creative, emotionally driven profession versus their analytical, high-stakes work—makes me question if I even belong in their presence. Every interaction feels like an unspoken judgment of my career choice, amplifying my insecurities and making me doubt whether my passion for music is taken seriously or just seen as a frivolous hobby in their eyes.

I then decide to go out to a party to self soothe God knows i need it, seeing all my friends

Bella, gigi and ariana all my friends making it their duty to make me feel better about my current situationship

I then see a blonde, gorgeous woman walk into the club

Its lila archer

No.

Lila always secretly resented me, for what reason i'm not sure, but one thing i do know is that i'm not the problem lilas notorious for being a huge bitch to almost everyone she comes in contact with. Her fame getting to head 24/7 I truly want someone to shoot me if i ever turn out to be like her, so rude so dismissive so-

Wait whys she walking over here? Was i talking out loud????

“y/nnnnnnn???’’ she dreadfully drags out. ‘’ what are you doing here, everyone else told me youve been at home moping over a guy” voice FILLED with mockery terribly trying to be hidden with concern

I finally get the courage to say something.

“ wow words get around fast i guess”

“ im here for you you know, if you ever need advice, like beauty advice, or just friend advice”

Oh.

I already feel immensely insecure around her. her gorgeous eyes, body face, dating history

Before i can say anything back she chirps up and says

‘’ what is his name anyways? Wont spill the beans, promise.”

“Spencer.”

‘’ wow so I don't get a last name” she says and laughs, " that poisonous laugh will kill me one day.

‘“Reid.’’

I can see the knowing smirk forming on her face and i'm confused on whats humorous about his name

‘’ oh my god, you mean FBI spencer reid, that dirty dog just can’t get enough of the public eye girls can he, he sure does have a mouth on him though.’’

Fuck. my. Life.

He said i was his first girlfriend,

Im hyperventilating internally

‘’ maybe you're thinking of someone else lila, spencer said i'm his first girlfriend”

‘’ Oh you probably are, we still had fun though, he saved my life. Of course I'd reward him for it.”

I swear the music in the club stopped when she said that

‘’ excuse me.’’

I say as i quickly power walk out the nightclub and into my car to go home

You might be asking why i'm freaking out so bad

Spencer told me we were each others first time.

I gave him my virginity thinking it was his first time too.

He lied.

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #criminal minds incorrect quotes #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x famous!reader #spencer reid x singer!reader #spencer reid angst

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aprito · 1 year ago

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hi! do you have any recommendations for sasosaku fic with more than 10k words?

a couple (a lot) of the top of my head (burned into my retina) in no particular order finished and unfinished (they are all important to me)

!!! IF YOU READ ANY OF THESE BE A COOL KID AND LEAVE A REVIEW !!!

hope springs eternal by simplelations (wholesum retelling of p1 naruto but with same age au sos i have made fic art that's how you know the love is real)

incantations by thirrin (extremely underrated howl's moving castle inspired magic au)

the neighbourly thing to do by koneko_taichou (wholesome middle aged sos are neighbours au. especially love the reason ss divorced in this fic and cant wait to see where this goes)

against all odds by koobabear (unfinished but platonic canonverse sos that's very fun)

these days by stormdragon6 (the one and only extremely long and extremely fullfilling mutual pining sos childhood friends modern au. scenes from this fic are burned into my brain)

a second chance by invisibleninja12 (200k literal retelling of p2 naruto with same age au sos where sasori got yeeted into the future and sakura is committed to help him before he makes the final turn for the worse. incredibly wholesome)

deep into the woods by muffin_ride (twisted beauty and the beast meets horror meets sos in their 40s far too old for this bullshit. thats the type of content we love around here)

lost year by omgitspocky (the fic that literally started my obsession with same age au basically sakura goes back in time and not only distracts sasori from defecting but also gets to hang out with a young tsunade)

bait and hitch by aelynthi (after the fantastic previous fic homesick comes one of the funniest takes on the fake dating trope with outrageously good characterization. i am emotionally invested in this one)

acaso mi madre engaña a mi padre? by takewaelel (i recommend this cheating fic at least once every full moon cycle because it has some of my favorite characterisation ever. every reread i discover some other amazing take)

lady of the blackthorns by vesperchan (amazing fantasy sos au. and thats why vesper is the GOAT)

pyrrhic victory by watevermelon (same age au sos with sasori's parents alive is one of the three ships and we're rooting for them)

grading on a curve by sayyikes (100% pure comedy and we're here for this painfully realistic and hilarious modern au)

sword of damocles by angelofdeath10 (medieval sakura is sasori's knight au. sasori is extremely pathetic but that makes it fun. i recommend everything they write in general <3)

spring fever by tsuki hoshino (sakura quits her job with sunan royalty and is ready to settle down and have kids in the middle of sasori's 10 year meticulously planned how do i get her to date me plan. watch as he desperately tries to bring his plans to fruition in the most sasori way possible)

invocation of the muse by nenalata (toxic college au sos that ruined me as a person, it's so fucking good even if i took immense psychic damage after deluding myself sos somehow will make it work. you need to read this immediately. this is exactly how i envision a bad ending outcome)

porcelain by shoujojunkie (not 10k but i will rep this doll maker falls in love with his tiny vain selfish creation fic until the day i die)

#ask noni #fic rec #sasosaku #im sure i have more that i forgot about i will never forgive myself #if you had given me over 2k this would probably be triple in length #do you know how unfair it is to me. as a person. to not be able to recommend a bunch of my faves bc theyre shorter than 10k #im in tears #hope this keeps you busy <3

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lookatmysillies · 4 months ago

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In this edition of ALIEN STAGE Magazine, we have an exclusive interview with Himei and Min, sweethearts of this season’s competition and Round 4 opponents! Readers now have the chance to get to know their favorites better.

You’re both quite popular among fans! Why do you think that is? That is to say, what sets you apart from other contestants?

HIMEI: I would say… my experience, all my hard work. I’m sure my fans can see how long of a road it’s been to get here and I think there’s a natural appreciation that comes with that.

MIN: Well, that's a pretty easy one for me. I was the winner of the last season, after all! They put me in young, since I had already had training prior to being enrolled into ANAKT Garden. People have called me a "prodigy", so one could assume that is the reason for my popularity. As for my opponent, I'm not entirely certain what makes her stand out, she has always been just another person at ANAKT to me.

What’s your focus been since graduation? Has it been entirely on Alien Stage, or split?

HIMEI: Split. It’s important to cover my bases, you know? Alien Stage is such a huge competition, I wanted to prepare myself for this industry.

MIN: Alien Stage had always been a big part of my life, if not all of it. The only thing I care about as of right now is winning this season of Alien Stage. A winner is what I am and will continue to be. I do not have any other things in mind for myself at this moment.

Are you familiar with your opponent, having gone to Anakt Garden together?

HIMEI: I sure have seen Min around. I would say we ran in different circles, though.

MIN: Not personally, no. I am not "familiar" in that sense with just about everyone who attended ANAKT. I was always focused more on my singing and studies rather than personal relationships and peer connections.

Being one of the earlier rounds in this special 32-contestant season of ALIEN STAGE, do you think you would have preferred a later round, or do you enjoy having the chance to set the tone?

HIMEI: It might have been nice to have a few extra rounds to scope out the competition, haha! I can’t complain, though. The past three rounds have been—have been eventful, so I hope we don’t put everyone to sleep, haha…

MIN: I do not think the date of my round hinders or assists my influence. Whenever my round is, I can always captivate the audience and triumph over my opponent.

How has your guardian helped get you to this moment?

HIMEI: Oh, wow… well, Guardian Iquia has always believed in cultivating my natural talents. She sent me to the great Anakt Garden when she recognized that she could not further my skills like Anakt Garden could, and for that I am forever grateful. …She’s been generous to me.

MIN: Without my early start on my training, I would not have been entered into Alien Stage last round, meaning I wouldn't have won and would not have the amount of fans that I do now. Therefore, she has had an immense role in my popularity. I owe a lot to her. She is the one who made me as perfect as I am now.

I have to ask… are the accommodations for the competitors really as glamorous as I hear? If so, you must be swimming in luxury.

HIMEI: Haha, certainly! I have my own room and everything. I do wish the curfew wasn’t so strict, though. I’d love to chat before bed. I’m a talker.

MIN: I was raised in a glamorous establishment, these accommodations are the average for me.

What would it mean for you to move on to the next round?

HIMEI: It would mean everything to me. All I can hope is that the stars will align for me tonight. I’ll be singing for my lucky stars, that’s for sure.

MIN: It would mean that I am consistent in my popularity and performance quality. It would also mean that I am still the best there is. I don't even have to worry about losing, though, so I don't know why I bothered to answer this question. Next, please.

Do you have anything to say to your opponent?

HIMEI: Let’s make it a night to remember, alright?

MIN: So sorry to see you go. See you at our round, dear. *she makes a heart with her fingers, grinning snarkily at the camera*

(Tagging @season39 if you want to reblog this to the official account! @starry-skiez helped me with this big time, they wrote all of Min's responses!)

#alnst oc #alien stage oc #alien stage #alnst #alien stage fan season #alnst fan season #alnst season 39 #alien stage season 39 #alnst season 39 round 4 #alnst oc interview #alnst oc interviews #alnst oc: himei #alnst oc: min

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jackiequick · 1 month ago

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Ben Carter ~ Rebel Just For Kicks | Marvel Studios OC

Full Name: Bennett Sawyer Carter

Nicknames: Ben, Benni, Benji, Sawyer, Scout, Ace

Alias: Oliver Halloway, Jackson Harper, Dean Nolan, James Shepherd, Bellamy Wheeler, Jonathan Hunter, Leon Lance etc

——

Date Of Birth: October 16th, 1984

Place Of Birth: New York City

Place Of Residency: Washington, DC

——

Family: AGENT 13, Sharon [CLASSIFIED] — Sister

—————

“I wanted to be teacher but my father didn’t allow it. So now I live in the shadow of my older sister, but I do this job to protect her.”

“Did you really just challenge me to burger eating contest?”

“Yippee ki yay, mother-oops, sorry, there’s children present..”

“Man, I need a break. Who wants pie?”

————————

Personality:

He is delightful blend of charm and goofiness, often bringing humor to even the most serious situations. His clumsy nature leads to lighthearted moments, endearing him to those around him.

Beneath his playful exterior lies a fiercely loyal protector; Ben would selflessly throw himself into harm's way to shield his loved ones, demonstrating an unwavering commitment to their safety.

With a quick wit and a knack for sarcasm, he deftly navigates tense scenarios, using humor to defuse potential conflicts. Friendly and charismatic, he easily connects with others, making him a beloved figure among friends and allies alike.

-------

Background 📖

Growing up in a family where his sister, Sharon (AGENT 13), was clearly the high achiever, Bennett always felt the pressure to live up to his family’s expectations.

His dream of becoming a teacher was dismissed by his father, who pushed him toward a path of espionage or government work like his sister. While Sharon excelled, Bennett found solace in humor and developing a carefree persona to cope with the pressure.

—

“I don’t want to be like Sharon or you or even aunt Peg, dad! I want to teach and travel, not go around getting myself into trouble.” Ben replied.

“Son, you will be a fine young agent just like me. Being a teacher is too small of a career and you won’t be paid much.” Michael, his father, add in a stern tone. “You’re a Carter, act like it.”

“But I am not fit for that kinda job…”

“You say that now, but you will be.”

“Dad...”

—

While Ben respected his father and admired Sharon’s achievements, he couldn’t help but feel torn. More than anyone in his family, Aunt Peggy Carter had always fascinated him. She was a legend in her own right, a brilliant strategist, co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D., and a woman who had helped shape the modern intelligence world. Yet, despite her immense legacy, Ben wondered if Aunt Peggy might have understood his desire to take a different path.

Sometimes, when the pressure became too much, Ben found himself wondering, What would Aunt Peg say if she were here?

Deep down, he believed she would have told him to follow his own path, to be his own person. Unlike his father, Peggy might have recognized that having goals—big or small—was important. But Ben never had the chance to ask her. And that uncertainty gnawed at him.

Would Peggy have supported his choices? Or would she have dismissed his dreams like his father had?

This question haunted Ben, even as he tried to balance his own desires with his family’s expectations. He longed for a mentor who would understand him, someone who wouldn’t see his dreams as "too small."

Though he eventually followed the path set out for him, Ben’s inner struggle never fully disappeared. He carried the question of Peggy’s approval with him, both as a source of strength and as a reminder of what he had given up.

---

-------

—Relationship with Sharon Carter 🛠️

Growing up, Sharon and Bennett shared a close bond. As the older sibling, Sharon was protective of her little brother, often looking out for him when their father’s strict expectations weighed heavily on him. In their early years, they had a lot of fun together—playing games, pulling pranks, and exploring the streets of New York. Sharon was always the more confident and adventurous one, while Ben was more cautious, happy to follow her lead.

But as they got older, the gap between them began to widen. Sharon embraced the world of espionage with determination, diving headfirst into training and missions. She became the perfect soldier in their father’s eyes, the embodiment of the Carter legacy.

Ben, on the other hand, grew unsure of himself. He admired Sharon’s strength and skill but resented the fact that her success only made him feel more inadequate. Often feeling torn between his personal dreams and the family legacy.

Despite their differences and the tension that arose from their father’s expectations, Ben and Sharon deeply cared for each other. Sharon was fiercely protective of Ben, even if she didn’t always understand his reluctance to embrace their family’s legacy. Ben, in turn, admired Sharon’s strength and independence, even if he resented the comparisons made between them.

As Ben began to settle into his own role in intelligence work—whether by choice or circumstance—Sharon continued to watch out for him. He didn’t want to live in Sharon’s shadow, but he also didn’t want her to get hurt. Part of his decision to follow the family path came from his desire to protect Sharon—to make sure she never faced the dangers of their work alone.

—

"I do this job for a lot of reasons," Ben once confided in a rare moment of vulnerability. "But mostly? I do it to protect you."

Sharon, uncharacteristically quiet, nodded. "I don’t need protecting, Ben."

"I know," he replied, looking down shaking his head and then looked straight at her. "But I’m still going to try."

——

—-

They weren’t as close as they had been in their childhood, but they had come to respect each other’s choices.

Sharon continued to work in her career, while Ben had found his own way, even if it wasn’t the life he originally wanted.

————

———————

——

| CARTER — S.H.I.E.L.D. Associate | ⚖️ |

While Bennett initially resisted the idea of following in his family’s footsteps, particularly those of his father and sister, he eventually found a place within S.H.I.E.L.D., albeit on his own terms. He didn’t strive to be a leader or a figurehead, but he knew that protecting those he cared about—and finding his own way to make a difference—was important.

Reluctant Start, Natural Talent

After years of pushing back against his father’s expectations, Bennett’s path eventually led him to S.H.I.E.L.D. He realized that, whether he liked it or not, his family’s legacy wasn’t something he could easily escape. Yet, when he decided to join S.H.I.E.L.D., it wasn’t out of a desire to live up to the Carter name exactly—it was about finding his own purpose. He just wanted to make his mark in a way that felt authentic to him.

Though Ben had always been reluctant to pursue espionage, he discovered he had a natural talent for certain aspects of the job. He wasn’t the best strategist or mastermind like other agents, but he excelled in the physical and tactical elements of the work.

——

"Watch it, Carter. You're like a kid in a candy store," Maria Hill remarked dryly, watching as Ben eagerly examined the array of weaponry laid out in the SHIELD armory.

Ben scoffed, flashing a grin. "Hill, lighten up. It's a wall full of guns, knives, and other weaponry! Look at this," he said, picking up a sleek new handgun and examining it with gleaming eyes. "And ooh, is that a new set of bows and arrows? Bet Clint would love this!"

Hill shook her head, but she couldn’t hide the faint smirk on her face. Ben's enthusiasm, though sometimes overwhelming, was infectious.

——

~ Role within S.H.I.E.L.D. ⚙️

Active S.H.I.E.L.D. Associate: Bennett works as a simple, yet kind field agent, engaging in various missions and tasks for the organization.

Hand-to-Hand Combat: Skilled in close-quarters combat, always eager to improve and test his fighting abilities.

Weaponry Enthusiast: Excited by weapons, particularly guns, rifles, knives, and advanced tech. He enjoys trying out new gear.

Scouting Missions: Loves scouting and reconnaissance missions, especially because they let him travel and explore new places.

Undercover & Surveillance: Although reluctant at first, he secretly enjoys undercover work and surveillance, finding it both challenging and exciting.

——————

———

————————————

—Strengths & Weaknesses 🖥️

Strengths

1. Charisma and Charm

2. Loyalty and Protectiveness

3. Wit and Humor

4. Adaptability

5. Combat Skills

6. Empathy and Understanding

Weakness

1. Self-Doubt

2. Emotional Burden

3. Reluctance to Embrace Leadership

4. Tendency to Avoid Conflict

5. Clumsiness

6. Difficulty Accepting Help

——————————

———

Fun Facts & Quirks! 🧲

- Foodie at Heart -> This man loves burgers, pies, ice cream, donuts and etc. Depending on where he is, Ben will find some sort of food to eat.

“Did you seriously go and buy milkshake?” His teammate asked.

He shrugged and pointed, “What? You were takin’ too long. I got hungry.”

- Clumsy Charmer -> He is notoriously clumsy at times, often stumbling on his own feet or bumping into something by accident.

“Who put a damn step there? That wasn’t there before!” He shouted almost tripping over but caught himself quickly.

- Tv & Film Fan -> He is often found quoting a line from his favorites or referencing a form of media. However he doesn’t always like to repeat the same thing, more than twice.

“No more Punzel! If I have to hear Zachary Levi’s voice one more time, I’m done.” He shouts during moving night.

His friend gasps, “How dare you? Flynn Rider is wonderful!”

- Dreamer -> Despite having to cut out being a teacher in his life, he always wondered what he might’ve showned those young minds.

“I could’ve been a History teacher or English..? Not math, I suck at that subject! Hell, I might quit this job and find out..”

- He talks to favorite things -> He will talk to his car, his guns and jacket. You already know if Ben had a pet he will be chatting with that animal too.

He grins seeing his favorite handheld gun and picked it up, “Hello sweetheart, gods, I missed you.”

Other things include: Ben is a music lover, mildly superstitious, enjoys collecting items, fear of heights etc.

————

—————

Additional information | 📬 |

-> Favorite Hero

Bennett will never admit it but he enjoys the heroes he seems on the streets and in his line of world.

You would think because his aunt Peggy association to Captain America, automatically that’s his favorite. He admires and respects Steve Rogers greatly, hell he hopes to have enough goodness in his heart to be like him, but not his favorite.

He actually secretly admires Spider-Man for his wit, willingness to help out, relatability and kindness towards others. He only seen the hero from afar but he can tell why people online like him.

~~~

-> Dating Life

When it comes to dating, Bennett tends to casual date. Nothing serious. He enjoys meeting new people and exploring connections without the pressure of committing or wanting to make they both hit it off well.

He has had serval crushes over the years, nothing notably strong or anything. However he once had a significant crush on a fellow agent, but he never acted on it, fearing it could mess up their professional relationship. He didn’t to push anything.

His flirting style is light-hearted and humorous. He tends to use playful chill banter and finding whatever he can as a simple ice-breaker. His charm is evident in his ability to make others smile, and he often employs self-deprecating humor to put his crushes at ease.

Currently, Bennett is single and he doesn’t mind it actually. Honestly, he thinks no one can compete with his notorious lack of skills and put up with him half the time to his bad jokes. But hey? We might be wrong and there is a certain someone out there for him.

~~~~

~ Hobbies and Interests |🛋️| ~

Cooking: Bennett enjoys experimenting in the kitchen. He loves trying out new recipes, especially when it comes to making burgers and desserts. His friends often joke that he should open a food truck.

- “Who needs a Michelin star when you can make the perfect burger at home?”

Movie Buff & TV Binge-Watcher: Bennett has a soft spot for action flicks, buddy cop movies, and classic comedies. He often spends his free time rewatching old favorites or discovering new series to binge.

Collecting Vintage Memorabilia: Bennett enjoys collecting vintage movie posters, old records, and retro tech. His apartment is littered with relics of the past, from vinyl records to an old-fashioned radio. He particularly loves hunting for rare finds at flea markets and antique shops.

- “You can laugh at my vinyl collection all you want, but there's nothing like listening to the Life Is A Highway on the original record.”

Tinkering with Cars: Bennett inherited a love of cars from his father. He spends weekends tinkering with his car, working on engine repairs, or upgrading parts. He’s not a full-blown gearhead, but he enjoys spending time in his garage fixing up his old, reliable ride.

——

————

-> Fears and Insecurities |🪤| <-

Fear of Failure: Bennett often worries about not living up to his family legacy or his own potential. This fear sometimes holds him back from pursuing more serious relationships or challenges.

- “What if I’m just not cut out for this? What if I let everyone down?”

Insecurity About His Role & Fitting In: Sometimes he can feel like he’s qualified to be an agent, and to overcompensate that with humor.

- “I mean, I’m just a guy who likes burgers and makes a lot of bad jokes… how did I end up here?”

Fear of Not Finding His Own Path: Bennett has always wanted to follow his own dream of being a teacher or traveling, but the weight of family expectations and his current career pulls him in another direction. He’s afraid that he’ll never get the chance to live the life he truly wants, and instead, be stuck in a role he didn’t choose for himself.

- "Maybe it’s too late to figure out what I want. Maybe this is just who I am now…"

Insecurity About His Intelligence: Though he’s smart and capable, Bennett sometimes feels overshadowed by more academically inclined people, like the tech geniuses or strategists he encounters in SHIELD. He’s more street-smart than book-smart, and while he’s skilled, he occasionally doubts whether he’s as sharp as others around him.

- "Sure, I can shoot straight, but can I crack codes and come up with genius plans? Not so much. Maybe I’m just the muscle here."

~~~~~

-> Signature Style

Bennett tends to dress in casual, comfortable clothing—jeans, graphic tees, sweaters, thick jackets and sneakers.

He has a penchant for customizing his gear and equipment, adding personal touches that reflect his personality, such as stickers or playful designs.

~~~~~~

-> Habits

Midnight Snacker: Bennett has a habit of raiding the fridge late at night, often resulting in humorous situations when caught.

- “Don’t judge me, if my stomach is craving a handful of cereal at 1 in the morning.” He mumbled as he eats the mouthful of Honey-Nut Cheerios.

Movie Marathoner: He loves binge-watching movie series and often tries to convince friends to join him, complete with snacks and drinks. Sometimes he is found watching classic footage he got stored away somewhere while sipping a nice cup of coffee. Such as old race car footage.

Non-Stop Talker: Ben has a real habit of making one handed comments, give a witty compliment or over speaking in a conversation, especially when it’s not needed. Sometimes he can’t help it but spit out a few sentences and split out of the room just as quickly. Or if he gets nervous, he might ramble until someone shuts him up.

Short-Term Memory: He will never admit it but Ben has a tendency to forget things easily or get distracted, which results in issues for himself and others. People need to often repeat what they said a few times or Ben has to write it down somewhere to make sure he did it. He wonders if it’s on-set early Alzheimer like his aunt Peggy has but tries not to think about it too much.

- “Can you repeat that? I only got caught half of what you said…” He replied looking up at you with a soft smile.

Vintage Fashion Enthusiast: One thing he will never admit nor you will ever except is for Ben to find fashion a causal factor in his life. He has a habit of wearing or finding timeless pieces whenever he went. Either a classic leather jacket, wrist watches, a necklace and or thick sweaters for colder temperatures. They’re simple items but a small part of him gets excited to wear them.

~~~~

~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~

Hope you like him! I might consider to continue his story soon hehe 😉

Let me know what you think

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @djs8891 @starkleila @aidanxsophxoxo @mandylove1000 @yetanotherwells @rickb-chaos @topgun-imagines @hardballoonlove @buckysteveloki-me @sherloquestea @ximehs @savemewattpad @theonlyblackcanary @terry-perry @triptuckers @daughter-of-melpomene @superspookyjanelle

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 months ago

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Caught In A Web ~ 27

CAUGHT IN A WEB MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,661ish

Summary: Natasha is fed up with everyone's bullshit. You get FRIDAY to spill some of the secrets.

Notes: This chapter is a little shorter than the last few, but that's fine. Let me know your thoughts!

“I’m over it! Now they want Wanda and Vision over in Malibu!” Natasha was shouting as she paced the common room. Wanda and Vision sat together on one couch while Bruce sat in a nearby chair. “This is idiotic! None of them know how to build a house, not even Tony! Besides, Tony is claiming it’s for Y/N, but the two haven’t spoken in weeks! Weeks!”

“Exactly 18 days,” Vision added.

“Not helping, dear,” Wanda told him softly, patting his arm.

“I’m going out there,” Natasha stated. “You all are staying here with Y/N because we can’t lose any more teammates to Tony’s craziness.”

“Are you sure that that’s a smart idea?” Asked Bruce. “Maybe we give them more time. They could be—“

“They’ve had enough time and have gotten completely nowhere. I’m taking a quinjet and leaving. Wanda’s in charge.” Natasha stormed out.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be any of them when Natasha gets there.”

~~~

Natasha left without telling you, but you knew where she was heading. You could tell she was fed up with the men on the Team and was going to fix their mess. It was now late at night, and you were fed up with the secrets. You wanted to know what was actually going on in Malibu, so you went to Tony’s lab.

“FRIDAY?” You called, shutting the lab door and locking it.

“Yes, Miss L/N?” FRIDAY responded.

“I know that Tony is having you block me from the news and from what they are doing in Malibu, but I need to know. I need to know the news so I can begin to handle it and not be scared of it. I need to know what’s happening in Malibu. I need to know if Tony’s okay.”

FRIDAY took a moment to respond, almost like the AI had a choice of whether or not it listened to the orders given by Tony. You waited with bated breath, trying to keep your nervousness at bay.

“I have pulled up the file about the news outlets,” FRIDAY finally said as one of the hologram tables came to life. “Please let me know if you need any assistance.”

Slowly, you headed over to the table and sat down. You began to read through the headlines.

STARK DATING A CHILD

SUGAR DADDY STARK & SUGAR BABY L/N

STARK DATES A NOBODY

WHO IS Y/N L/N, AND HOW DID SHE LAND STARK?

IS Y/N L/N PREGNANT WITH TONY STARK’S CHILD?

You read a few of the articles and watched a few of the news clips. Tears ran down your cheeks as you took in the criticism and hatred, wishing that Tony was by your side. You understood why he protected you from this and were thankful for it. You wouldn’t have been able to handle it when the news broke out at first, but now you were putting the work into handling it better.

As you continued to scroll through, you realized it was going in chronological order. Suddenly you saw news articles and videos about Tony. The headlines had changed.

STARK IN LOVE

STARK STANDS UP FOR HIS GIRL

STARK REQUESTING PRIVACY AT THIS TIME

All the articles said the same thing, that Tony had made a statement about your relationship. You had no idea and began to read it.

As a public figure since birth, I understand that my life often becomes a point of intrigue and discussion. However, I believe certain aspects of my personal life should remain private out of respect for those involved. I am Tony Stark, and I do not need to explain myself to you, but I will explain anything needed to protect those I love.

Yes, it is true that I am in a relationship with Y/N L/N. Yes, she is younger than me, but that doesn’t matter. She is intelligent and kind and has brought immense joy into my life. I am deeply in love with her. She is my world, and I will do anything to protect her.

At this time, I am asking for your understanding and respect as we navigate our lives together. It is important to me to protect her from undue scrutiny and to allow our relationship to flourish away from the public eye. I will do what is necessary to stop the harmful opinions being thrown her way.

Tony Stark

You couldn’t help but cry harder. Tony stood up for you, telling the world he loved you. He was trying to make sure that you were safe from the public’s continuous comments.

“FRIDAY, is Tony in Malibu?” You asked, hoping for an answer.

“Yes,” the AI responded.

“Can you prep a quinjet for me? I need a flight plan to Malibu, wherever Tony is… Please… I need to see him. I need to talk to him.”

“Miss—quinjet—15—Malibu—inform—Boss—“

“FRIDAY?” You stood up as FRIDAY cut in and out. The lights around the lab began flickering. “FRIDAY!” The lights completely cut out suddenly. You rushed to the lab doors to get out, but they wouldn’t unlock. “Help! Wanda! Vision! Bruce! Someone!”

The screens behind you came to life. Before you could even turn around, you could see the red light. Your heart was pounding against your chest as you slowly turned to face the screens. Air caught in your throat as the HYDRA symbol shone back at you, and a familiar, rough voice bounced through the room.

“Hail Hydra.”

~~~

“There’s a quinjet incoming,” Sam stated.

“It’s probably Wanda and Viz,” said Steve. “Tony wanted them here.”

“I don’t know why they haven’t been here the whole time. They could be doing all the heavy lifting.”

The quinjet landed, and the lamp lowered. All the men but Tony stopped to see who would walk down it. Natasha marched down the ramp, a determined look on her face.

“Shit,” Bucky muttered. “We’re all screwed.”

“You idiots!” Natasha shouted.

“Here we go,” Rhodey mumbled.

“You are not contractors or construction workers! You needed to talk Tony out of this, not help him build this!”

“Bucky started it,” Sam quickly blamed.

“Hey!” Bucky exclaimed. “I didn’t see any of you try to talk some sense into the man!”

“Because you had already got his sights on us building a house!”

“You didn’t—“

“Enough!” Natasha screamed. “I’m done with you all. Where is he?”

They all pointed towards the downstairs building site. They watched in complete silence as Natasha marched off. They waited until they couldn’t see or hear her anymore before anyone spoke up.

“She’s frightening,” Sam whispered.

“Just wait until Tony fights back,” Steve said.

~~~

Tony had his headphones blasting ACDC. He had dirty pants and a tank top on, which he had actually been wearing for a few times now. There were bottles of alcohol and coffee cups all over the sight since Tony was surviving off of liquids.

Natasha was unimpressed as she felt thrown back in time to when Tony had destroyed his house while he was dying years earlier. She wasn’t in the mood for any of his antics, so she quickly pulled his headphones off and threw them to the side.

“What the— oh. It’s you,” Tony said, immediately getting back to work.

“Seriously? This is not okay, Tony. This is a new low.”

“I’m fine.”

“Bullshit.”

“Red—“

“Get your ass in the quinjet.”

“You’re not my mom.”

“You’re right, but I have a pretty good guess on how disappointed she’d be right now.” Tony clenched his jaw, remaining silent. “Okay, I’ll admit that that was low, but it needed to be said.” She sighed. “You need to come home.”

“I’m building a home.”

“You’re building a home that you think Y/N will like. You have no idea. You need her opinion on things. What if she hates it?” Tony stopped his movements. Natasha took it as a sign to move closer, coming around to meet face to face. “I know that you are doing this all for her, but you’re doing this the wrong way.”

“I just want her to feel safe…”

“I know, and I get it. But it’s time to come home. You and Y/N need to talk about everything—including this house. We also don’t want it to get out that the Avengers have started a construction company. The calls would never cease.”

Tony let out a breathy chuckle. “Yeah, guess you’re right.”

“One day, you’ll realize I always am.”

“Tony! Natasha!” Steve came running to them, yelling. “We have a problem!”

“What’s going on?”

“T’Challa just called. Something happened, and Rumlow escaped. We can’t get a hold of anyone at the Compound, and FRIDAY is down.”

“Impossible,” Tony said, rushing to his nearest suit. It refused to respond. “Come on!” He tried to get the suit to open, continuing to fail. “Come on!”

“Are the quinjets working?” Natasha asked Steve.

“That’s what Sam, Bucky, and Rhodey are working on right now,” he responded.

“We have to get to the Compound,” Tony said. “I have to get there… Y/N’s there.” His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest as the panic set in. “I’m not there… I’m not there… I’m failing her again… I’ve got—I need—Y/N—” His breaths were uneven, and his head began spinning. It took only seconds for him to be on the ground, panicking.

“Tony!” Both Natasha and Steve exclaimed. They rushed to his side just before he passed out.

Steve was quick to scoop Tony up and began to rush to one of the quinjets.

“Sam got one working!” Bucky shouted. He noticed Tony in Steve’s arms. “What the hell happened?”

“We need to go,” Natasha stated as they headed for the working quinjet. “Rhodey! Sam! We need a medkit out and IVs. I’ll fly.”

Everyone worked quickly as Natasha got the quinjet off the ground and headed for the Compound.

next chapter >

#tony stark imagine #avengers x reader #marvel fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark x reader #the avengers x reader #marvel imagine #avengers imagine #tony stark x you #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x female!reader #tony stark x fem!reader #tony stark x f!reader #tony stark x female reader #iron man imagine #iron man x reader #iron man fanfiction #marvel x reader

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ash-says · 9 months ago

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Hello dear ladies. I am back in the town with my rants again cause where's a girl gonna go in this patriarchy world to shout her opinions. Plus can't run the risk of letting them in on the game. What's the fun in that??

Anyways, first of all Happy Women's Day!!!!

Happy Mahashivratri ✨✨✨

As today is an auspicious day both internationally and personally for me religiously maybe I will talk about some deep stuff.

Let's get into it. Shall we??

1) Get a belief system. I can't stress enough on this for the love of God. I was listening to a podcast this morning and the host made a really nice analogy that I would like to share with you all. He said that we all have an immense amount of love in us that we want to shower and that's one of the reasons why we so desperately look for partnerships especially romantic ones and we are highly affected by break-up. But when you submit all your love and pain to god the equation changes. Because it's difficult to have earthly expectations towards God and the shift starts there.

Story time ->

I personally found it way easier to love God. Once you start turning in to him you realize how selfless your love can be. But the main reason that struck me was when you love people you are restricted. Let's be honest today's dating scene is the worst you can't express how you feel and for a person like me who has intense emotions it's suffocating and that's where God comes in picture because I just submit my love, struggles and suffocation to him and he is there all the while with me silently witnessing the upheaval without any judgement. That allows me to tap deeper into my issues, understand the roots, look at them from both emotional and logical angles and then detach from it as the supreme being is now in control of the situation.

So on this occasion I beg you ladies to fix your relationship with God. You will thank me later for sure.

2) Be Loud. Be Bold. Be Audacious. Take up space. Unapologetically. Don't let other people feel comfortable in making you uncomfortable. Nope. We do it the other way around here. They should know better than making you uncomfortable.

If there's something I am really proud of myself for at least 90% times is that I never let anyone make me uncomfortable. I have time and again consciously worked on it to make it a second nature to me.

Nobody is born outspoken. It's the situation and the person's decision, self will that makes them like that. So when anyone tries to put me down subtly even if it isn't registered in my conscious brain my subconscious answers it befittingly without my notice. Then I realise what actually happened.

Strive to make offense your second nature. Defense is first mixed in with kindness. Practise it consciously until it becomes a muscle memory.

Ending note: Be insufferable in public and a soft girl in private. That's how you even it out. Wail like a child in front of God but move like a queen among humans.

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drippingmoon · 11 months ago

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Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me.

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots.

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly.

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

#ayearofwriting #2023 #aquiver-aglow #aberration of sunlight

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clearheartsgreyflowerss · 4 months ago

Note

(I’m wondering if you do poly relationships. If you don’t, then feel free to decline this request)

How about some Robin x F!reader x Sparkle hcs. This includes the characters relationship with the reader and the poly in general. Some fluffy and chaotic shenanigans

/)/)

( . .)

( づ♡

I absolutely do! I myself am polyamorous, so i loved writing this. Ty for the request 🩷

(Everything is a little random, honestly this post may or may not have convinced me that Robin x Sparkle is an adorable ship)

To say you three had a chaotic relationship would be an understatement, almost everything was a surprise when you all were around.

Oftentimes you're with Robin, helping her along with anything she wants or needs. It's hard for her to do things when she is the robin, so she'll ask you for favors, which you get many kisses in return for.

Whenever sparkle shows up is when it gets interesting. She very much likes to show off around you two, so she'll show up in the most random ways possible. One of Robin's bodyguards? Surprise! Sparkle has been pretending to be him all day. Even Sunday isn't safe, she's pretended to be him on multiple occasions, and neither one of you figure out till she finally drops a hint.

Despite her tricks, she really enjoys being "sparkle" around you two. Even if she is just playing a character, you two make her feel like that is who she should be, trickster and all.

Robin also feels like her truest self around you two. She never has to put up an act, she can laugh genuinely at both sparkle's antics and your jokes, it never feels forced.

If either you or sparkle stay the night, she will absolutely sing you to sleep. Sparkle always needs to be listening to something to fall asleep, so it helps her immensely. You've developed the same habit ever since you started living with Robin. She sings around the house and at night, so you always want to hear her singing!

Robin is also very lovey dovey, she would always hold your hand if she could. Whenever sparkle graces you two with her presence, Robin is most definitely playing with her hair (would also do the same with yours if it is long).

Here's some more silly little head cannons (but in bullet point form :D)

. Sparkle is a big fan of PDA with you, anything that will surprise other people is what she's going for. She'll wear lipstick just to leave kiss marks all over your face, and you won't figure it out until you finally get home that day.

. You probably do most of the cooking in the relationship. Of course Robin helps whenever she gets the time, but she tends to have lots of duties to attend to. (And I'm pretty sure sparkle would burn the food or make something that she finds to be good, and it's actually like almost inedible.)

. Dates in public rarely happen between the 3 of you, even if you (hypothetically) found a time when none of you were busy, Robin can't exactly go out as herself, nor is it really a good idea to take sparkle anywhere. Most dates consist of either a spa night, watching terrible movies, or cuddling.

. I mentioned this earlier, but Robin's love language is a mix of physical touch and words of encouragement. If she's in public with you and sparkle, she'll rain down compliments on both of you. She never fails to notice little things in your outfit, or how sparkle is luckily holding herself back from bothering the shit out of other people. When you all are in private, her hands are definitely busy with one of you.

. Sparkle is a mix of acts of service and giving gifts. She'll never say it out loud, but it's always her doing when suddenly your schedule will miraculously work itself out whenever you want to spend time with her or Robin. She'll do just about anything to see you two smiling and laughing, so she'll use her connections quite often for you two. As for gifts, she always makes sure you know those are from her. Even if it's just a silly little bracelet, Sparkle will write a long theatrical note to go with it, usually making up some crazy plot about how she found the item.

Anyway, even if all 3 of you walked down very different paths, each person brings their own love and happiness to the relationship <3

How to write an ending no glue no borax (literally kill me I hate writing the end of anything T-T)

Once again, ty for the request! It was lots of fun to write, and honestly challenged me a little. I have lots of my own little head cannons for Robin, but I never really was a big sparkle fan, so I didn't know too much about her. I tried not to write her ooc, so sorry if it came off that way :(

I do know more about her now though and I am happy to say I do like her! I was honestly considering pulling for her bc she's coming up in the next banner, but I'm not trying to pull another Jade and Argenti rn.

Thank you for reading!! If you like my work please consider liking and rebloging it 🩷

Daily click to help those in Palestine

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #honkai star rail x reader #sparkle hsr #sparkle honkai star rail #sparkle x reader #sparkle x robin #robin x reader #robin hsr

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ftm-radio · 7 months ago

Text

My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

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