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spencerreidsbookfairy · 11 months ago

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apologize

yallllllllllllll if you want this to be a series pls lmk and alsooo should she forgive them and not write songs about them or should she??/

I just sat there. Listening to them but i wasn't gonna bitch out and change my set, my set was awesome my 3 grammys tell me that

Stage time

The crowd is filled with famous faces im more nervous about the team then the other celebs that surrounded me as i walk on stage they give a kind clap i decide to shake the team a little bit as i remember they have no idea i heard them

‘’ ahh guys im so grateful to be here ’ as you guys know i made the song what was i made for, for the barbie movie which was amazing and i can talk about it for hours

but i will try and make this quick i don’t wanna have you guys fall asleep mid song.’’

The team is in my direct eye of sight i see each and every one of their faces drop especially spencers

The instrumental starts playing

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know but I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

I take a short pause during that pause i look at the team who still looks uneasy after my comment

Good

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just something you paid for

What was I made for?

I think in my head “the songs almost over three more songs and you'll never have to see those assholes again.’’

Think I forgot how to be happy

Something I'm not, but something I can be

Something I wait for

Something I'm made for

Something I'm made for.

The audience claps, genuine claps the faces of happy celebs that enjoyed my performance buried the insecurity that my songs, my career wasn't good enough the team also claps i assume its because they don’t wanna look bitter.

“Today has been such a blessing thank you guys so much.’’

I leave the stage leaving to my dressing room

I knew Spencer would try to come and find me but i didn't think he'd bring the team too.

‘’Hey.’’ spencer says his team practically hiding behind him

“ hey’’ i say back what else can i say my mind i all over the place

‘’ you were outstanding out there everyone loved you, im proud’’

Hm. proud.

‘’Proud? Proud of me? Or your team for not falling asleep mid song.”

The room was so quiet you could hear a strand of hair drop.

‘’I would say it isn't what it sounded like but that wouldn't be true.”

His team is looking at each other figuring out if they should say something

The peppy girl garcia says something first, well she tries to

“ we owe you such-”

“No.”

“No?” she says voice shaky

“You didn't say anything wrong matter of fact you were the only one who defended me, not even he did” I say as I point a finger at Spencer who just looks down in shame and guilt.

“Listen y/n you gotta understand we just want what's best for reid-”

“Exactly’’ jj chimes in “it's nothing personal were just overprotective” she says with a nervous giggle

“Obviously we were immature and went way too far to attack your profession’’ emily says breaking her silence

Now, i'm a sensitive person i can’t help but choke up while trying to stick up for myself against 5 people

“i..’ ‘ you can hear me about to cry i look down so i don’t have to see their pity faces

Where did my confidence go why can’t i talk without crying

“I just wanted to impress you guys with this performance you guys were so cool and nice in my eyes”

They all look so guilty when they can literally hear the cry in my throat.

‘’And you” i say while looking at spencer ‘’ you made me feel like you understood me, understood my music, why i make music.’’

“I do!” spencer tries to defend

‘’ no, or else you would have DEFENDED me instead of bitching out and agreeing with your friends’’

I have never been in a room this quiet

“Anyway i wanna get home and shower its been a long day’’

I get up to walk away and spencer tries to stop me but i pull away and grab my stuff and leave

Prove them right. Make a song about them.

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #criminal minds incorrect quotes #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x famous!reader #spencer reid x singer!reader #spencer reid angst

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vminjackbaddie · 10 months ago

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Feeling Lucky

authors note: eye...haven't written a one shot in such a long time but his recent activity on ig has got me in shambles and I'd like the chance to try again. now forgive me because I've always written in first person but you can still pretend. also im super rusty so im sorry if this comes out cheesy lol I am not an expert for sure! lastly, please don't repost or claim as your own. I appreciate y'all pairing: female reader & jackson wang | 1st person word count: 3.4k+ summary: it's been a lot of trial and error: using dating apps in hopes you find a serious relationship and for the third time, you find yourself disappointed with someone, feeling cursed and very unlucky. to help get your mind off of things, you go visit your best friend at the bar with 0 intentions except to enjoy yourself until jackson walks in with his own group of friends. he's eyeing you, you're eyeing him but will either one of you make a move? or will you let your "cursed" theory ruin any chance with him? genre: mature | strangers to lovers au | angst | one shot | kinda soft | fluff warnings: 21+ ONLY! some cursing, making out, small mentions of heartbreak

“…and that’s exactly why I believe dogs are far superior to cats…”

He kept rambling, spewing nonsense. Is this really my life right now? How am I sitting here, listening to this man go on and on about why dogs are better than cats? Is this supposed to be life-changing information? Definitely not! And just for the record, cats are just as good—if not better.

To make matters worse, I wish I could say this was my first bad date in ages, but that would be a lie. A month ago, I signed up for a dating app, and while things started off strong, the past two weeks have led me to men with halitosis, nonstop misogynistic comments, and now this guy: a man who thinks his monologue is more interesting than asking about me.

Without hesitation, I pulled out my phone and decided to use the old bathroom excuse.

“Excuse me—sorry. Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” I said, trying not to trip over my heels as I pushed my chair back, ready to make my escape.

“Take your time! When you get back, we can talk about the ghost in my parents’ basement!” he shouted as I walked away.

I raised an eyebrow, knowing it was now or never. Ghosting isn’t my usual move, but it felt like my only option. Luckily, there was an exit door next to the women’s restroom, and I made a beeline for it. I attempted to call my best friend to fill her in on the disaster, but I reached her voicemail, followed by a quick text:

[Hey, I’m working. You okay?]

Ugh. I completely forgot she was on a shift at Oasis, a local bar. But that might not be a bad idea. I could definitely use some company and a distraction. I hopped into my car and rushed to get inside before he realized I wasn’t coming back, quickly texting her:

[Hiiii~ nvm! I’m coming by. See you soon!]

The message was brief, and as I sat at the first red light, I surprisingly didn’t feel guilty. Isn’t that awful? But honestly, while I felt bad about the first two dates, this third one confirmed that maybe my days with dating apps were over. I felt cursed—searching for real love for so long only to have every potential match turn sour as soon as we met. So tonight (and perhaps for the rest of my life), I decided to focus on enjoying myself.

Oasis wasn’t far. Within five minutes, I was in line to get in. While I waited, I noticed the coffee shop guy had bombarded me with at least eight messages, calling me every name in the book for bailing.

“Wow,” I muttered, scrolling through his barrage of insults.

“Looks like you dodged a bullet,” the bouncer said as I finally reached him.

“What? Oh yeah, he’s definitely a piece of work,” I replied, blocking his number while handing over my ID.

“You came to the right place.” He nodded as he returned my ID. While he recognized me from previous visits, I wasn’t in the mood to chat with another guy about my problems. I simply made my way to the bar.

“Danielle!” I called, spotting my best friend as I slid onto the first empty barstool. The bar wasn’t too crowded, but the dance floor was alive, and it felt great to soak in the energy after those awful messages.

“Another bad date?” she asked, handing me my favorite drink.

“Oh, it was so bad, Danielle! I just don’t know what’s wrong with me!”

“I don’t think it’s you. Sometimes men just suck, and dating app guys are a whole different level of awful,” she chuckled.

“I’m starting to think it might be time to give up.”

She sighed. “You always say that. But remember what I tell you: you’re more likely to find the right one when you’re not stuck playing 40 questions over a screen.”

She patted my hand for reassurance, and I felt a little lighter.

“Don’t beat yourself up—we’ve all been there. Just enjoy your drink.”

I nodded, acknowledging she was right.

“Okay, but no more than three drinks tonight. I don’t want you getting in trouble again for giving away too many free ones.”

We both laughed as I took a sip while she attended to the next guest.

About an hour later, I was on my third drink, and let me tell you, I was feeling it. “Slightly tipsy” was the best way to describe it, and I was really vibing with the music pouring from the speakers. However, I wasn’t much of a dancer. Sitting at the bar, swaying back and forth in my little bubble, felt just right. I could have kept it up all night, but then I heard an uproar from the dance floor.

Curious, I turned to see what all the commotion was about. Right in the center of the crowd was a group of guys dancing like nobody was watching, and they were good. But the one drawing everyone’s attention wasn’t the loudest or most flamboyant; instead, it was the guy making the subtlest moves. His presence alone was magnetic, giving him an air of mystery that was incredibly alluring.

I found myself standing up, inching closer to get a better view. I didn’t want to get too close—just close enough to appreciate his every move. But maybe that was the mistake, because as soon as I got within range, I was completely captivated. He wore all black: a fitted tank top, loose black pants, and sturdy boots. His shaggy hair was a striking lilac or lavender color, cascading over his forehead. It felt wrong, but the thought of getting his attention flickered in my mind. The only problem? I was supposed to be enjoying myself, not fantasizing about some guy.

“Y/N!” Danielle’s voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned to see her waving me over. That was my cue: stay away from him. After all, it was clear why there were at least ninety girls surrounding him—or so it seemed.

What I didn’t realize was that her shout had caught his attention too, because when I looked back just before walking away, we locked eyes.

“Oh god,” I mumbled to myself, quickly diverting my gaze as he flashed me a gentle smile. The only thing I could manage was a quick nod before I hurried back to the bar, eager to escape any further embarrassment.

“What were you doing over there?” Danielle asked as I settled back into my seat.

“Did you not see those guys? They were amazing!” I nearly pointed but caught a glimpse of him and his friends gathering at the other end of the bar.

“Those guys?” she asked, tilting her head in their direction. “Oh yeah, they’re here every Friday, or so.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course.”

For some reason, that realization made him feel completely out of reach. I shouldn’t have even considered approaching him, but the thought lingered. Now, with him just ten feet away, it was impossible not to steal glances as I tried to finish what was left of my drink.

“Need another?” I heard a male voice say.

I looked over to find a glass of Hennessy right beside my hand. My gaze lifted to meet the exact guy from the dance floor, and I was shocked. Why was he talking to me? Where were his friends? Regardless, I needed to play it cool; I didn’t want to come off as desperate.

“No, I’m good,” I replied shortly. “This is my third one, anyway.” I barely made eye contact, taking another sip.

“Is that why you were almost on the dance floor?” he joked.

“Maybe. But how would you know?” I finally turned my body toward him.

He took a small sip of his drink. “I saw you—almost as soon as you walked up. I was waiting for you to join in.”

“I’m sure the other ninety women were more than enough for you,” I retorted.

“Damn. Don’t do that,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t do what? Point out the obvious?” I chuckled. That’s when I really started to feel the liquid courage kicking in. To be honest, I had a lot of animosity toward men right now, and he was my first target. This could either go really well or extremely badly.

“I’m not just another girl for you to toy with, okay? You think I didn’t see all the smirking and body rolling on that dance floor? Keep it over there.” My finger landed on his chest. “And don’t bring your fuckboy act over here.”

He smirked again, taking another sip before resting his hand over my finger that was still resting on his chest. God, why was he so attractive? I’d said enough, so why couldn’t I just get up and leave?

“Let me be clear…” His voice was low and husky, and I barely noticed he had leaned in closer, making my hand rest against his chest. “If I had any intentions with the other women on that floor, or if I were the fuckboy you think I am, then why am I over here with you?”

His eyes searched mine as if trying to find something beyond the asshole persona I was attempting to project.

“Touche,” I responded, quickly pulling my hand back. I finished off my drink, trying to distract myself from getting lost in his gaze. “What’s your name?”

“Jackson,” he said with a smile, clearly pleased that I wasn’t trying to push him away any further. “And you?”

“Y/N,” I replied shyly, worried I might have ruined the rest of the conversation. Just then, another song played, and the crowd erupted again, making us both break our unannounced staring contest and look at the dance floor. The same guys he had arrived with were back out there, cutting loose. I noticed Jackson subtly mimicking their moves.

“You should join them!” I yelled over the music.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’d rather be dancing with someone else,” he said, slowly bringing his gaze back to me.

I rolled my eyes, smirking a little. “Could you be any more corny?”

“No,” he smirked, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer. We were chest to chest now, locked in each other's gaze. “But I’d like the chance to show you what I can do on the dance floor.”

I glanced back at Danielle, who had been watching the whole exchange. My expression should’ve been a dead giveaway for help, but instead, she winked at me. What the hell? She wasn’t helping at all.

“Come on,” he said, breaking our gaze and taking my hand. He led me to the dance floor. “I don’t expect anything more than for you to just feel the music.” He moonwalked to the center of the dance floor.

How could I possibly keep up with that? I barely had rhythm as it was, but that didn’t stop him from pulling me closer. The liquid courage needed to kick in any minute now because I had never been more nervous than I was at that moment.

He turned me around so that my back pressed against his chest, swaying slowly behind me, guiding my body to move in harmony with his. I felt as if I were in a trance, his hands exploring my waist in a way that was both respectful and undeniably sensual. His nose brushed against my hair, and I could feel my eyes fluttering shut, surrendering to his lead as I let the music envelop me. I placed my hands over his, turning my head slightly to bring his face closer to mine, anticipating the moment our lips might meet. But just then, the tempo of the music shifted, shattering the spell we were under. I smiled as we both paused, realizing that our moment had come to an end.

I turned to face him, and I noticed his friends slowly approaching from behind.

“Alright! We see you!” one of them called out.

“Get lost,” he replied, feigning annoyance, which made them all chuckle.

“Sorry, man! We were just about to grab another drink. You coming?”

He glanced back at me. “Yeah, actually. I’ll be right there.” They nodded and headed off, and he turned back to me.

“You know you don’t have to stick around. I wasn’t exactly nice to you a few minutes ago.”

He shrugged. “I can get drinks with them anytime.” He took my hand again and led me back to my original spot at the bar to order another drink. As we waited, he turned to look at me.

“But what was with all that attitude? Was it really just because of how you viewed me?”

I shook my head. “No... just... bad dates.”

He nodded slowly, as if he understood more than I realized.

“Men ain’t shit,” he started, his tone serious. “And I mean that. I don’t know what you’ve been through, and it’s really none of my business, but can I offer you some advice?”

“Sure,” I replied, still swaying to what we could hear of the music.

“Don’t assume every guy you meet is going to be like the last. I know that’s tough, but calling me a fuck boy was a bit much.” He whined playfully, laughter escaping him. “Though, I have to admit, it was pretty funny.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry... I really shouldn’t have said that—” Just then, my favorite song blared through the speakers. Tinashe’s “Nasty” filled the air, and the energy shifted.

“I LOVE THIS SONG!” I shouted, letting go and fully immersing myself in the music. Whatever liquid courage I had left finally surfaced, and I danced like I’d never danced before. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even notice Danielle bringing him another drink; he simply stood there, a huge smirk on his face, watching me.

“Is somebody gonna match my freak...” I began to sing loudly, draping my arms over his neck and leaning in close, letting my hands glide slowly over his chest.

He watched intently as I continued belting out the lyrics. The way he sipped his Hennessy while keeping his gaze fixed on me made my stomach flip. Somehow, I managed to maintain my composure, still singing and letting my hands roam lower, tracing over his abdomen, which made his breath catch.

“Easy...” he murmured, and I couldn’t help but smirk. I had no idea what was happening, but I was enjoying every moment.

I leaned back into his space, my arm wrapped around his neck as the chorus looped again, the constant refrain of “I’ve been a nasty girl” echoing in my ears. I sang every word, body rolling against him while his free hand trailed down my side and rested at my waist. With his other hand, he finished his drink and set the glass down, then placed his palm at the small of my back.

We were mere inches apart; I could feel his breath against my lips, and it made me freeze as the music began to fade into the background. At that moment, I was intoxicated by his scent, and there was no way I could back down now. I’d been in his face for nearly three minutes, singing about being a nasty girl—what else could I expect?

“You singing all of that makes me want to do a lot more than just dance with you...” he whispered. “But that would be disrespectful on our first meeting.”

Good god. At this point, he could have done anything to me; a man who shows respect is the sexiest thing a girl could ask for.

“Then what can you do that wouldn’t be ‘disrespectful’?”

I knew I was asking for it, but I couldn’t help myself. At this rate, I wanted him to make a move.

He chuckled softly, brushing his nose against mine as our faces inched closer together. One hand cupped my face, while the other rested on my hip. I felt his body draw nearer, moving slightly as the music began to swell again, creating a bubble around just the two of us. I slowly closed my eyes, fully aware of what was about to happen. The build-up was intoxicating. I could have closed the distance myself, but something urged me to savor the moment. He began to turn my body until my back was against a wall, his hands landing on either side of me, brushing his lips against mine. When I opened my eyes, I saw him glancing between my eyes and my mouth, so close I could nearly taste him.

My hands moved to cup his neck as we tilted our heads, our lips nearly meeting once more. He was teasing me mercilessly, and damn, was he good at it.

“May I?” he asked, brushing his nose against mine again. There he went again with that respect.

“Please,” I nearly begged, and he slowly closed the gap between us, finally kissing me after what felt like an eternity of anticipation.

Our lips moved in perfect harmony, just like how we danced. His hands slid from the bar back around my waist, while mine fumbled to find their place. I felt most at ease tangling one hand in his hair while the other rested at his side. The kiss deepened as our tongues battled for dominance, making me want to nibble at his bottom lip to tease him even more. But just like that, it was over. He pulled away, leaving me craving more.

We were both breathless, but it was more than worth it. I even heard Danielle cheering quietly behind me, which made us glance at her and shake our heads in amusement.

“I’m sorry. If I’d kept going—”

I raised a finger to his lips. “It’s fine,” I smiled. “There’s always next time.”

He nodded. “I hope it made your night a little better.”

His smile was enchanting, and I could tell he genuinely meant it, which made me feel incredible.

“Mission accomplished.” I gave him a quick peck. “Now, stay in touch.”

“Wait. You’re leaving?” he frowned.

“No!” I laughed. “Danielle’s my ride home since I’ve had a couple of drinks.”

“Smart. I like it,” he teased, locking his gaze with mine again. “Care to dance once more before the night ends?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to get back to your boys?” I asked, noticing them still on the dance floor.

“Look, those are my best friends. I can dance, drink, and whatever else with them anytime,” he assured me. “They’ll understand if I keep dancing with you. And while this may be our last dance tonight, I hope to see you again, outside of this bar.”

I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. Who would have thought one bad night would turn into something so lucky?

“Deal,” was all I could think to say before he pulled me back out to the dance floor, where we danced until the sun rose.

#jackson wang fanfic #babbling!*#I literally wrote this and then posted without tags bc I got super scared. I still am. please me kind lol

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s3ungm1nxxl0ve · 9 months ago

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Pretty Pet // Lee Minho

This is a fanfiction!! It is NOT real!

Warnings: reader having money problems, readers mother leaving her, mean leeknow ( forgive me pls 😞🙏) , reader becoming a pet for leeknow, sort of blackmailing?? (Idk the word, im not english sryy), kissing

Let me know if I forgot

Not proof read!

(I AM NOT ENGLISH SO THERE MIGHT BE MISTAKES)

I rlly like it hehe might make part 2!!

———————————————————

Lee minho.

That was his name, the richest boy on campus

He was rich, filthy rich.

Yet also a mean person who never cared about others

He always comes to school in a limo or a rolls-royce, while you on the other hand, weren’t so stable when it came to money.

Your mother had left due to an argument when you were little, and you father was left to provide for the both of you.

You worked a few part-time jobs to bring more money in, yet it wasn’t always enough.

Which is why you vowed to study hard and become rich later, and to spoil your father for staying with you when your mother had left.

One day, he invited you to a party of his.

He walked up to you and said:”Hey (y/n)!! Im throwing my birthday party this weekend on sunday! Wanna come?”

You were surprised but agreed, since you didn’t have money to buy nice clothes you just wore a normal, simple dress to his party.

As soon as you arrived, Leeknow’s friends started laughing really hard.

You just stood there, clueless, while Leeknow came up to you.

“Are you serious? I give you an invitation to my party and you actually have the audacity to show up like this?”

“What?!” You were quite annoyed,

“Your too broke to buy nice clothes?” He mocked.

You just stared at him angrily.

“Well not everyone is born with a golden spoon yknow?..” you mutter out.

“I made this money myself, you peasant.”

And then the others laughed at your mistake, while you stood there embarrassed.

“Gosh youre so dumb.”

And that was it.

You snapped as you slapped him and ran away.

The guests were all flabbergasted.

It was so silent you could hear a pin fall.

You just got to the exit and dialed a taxi to brung you home.

Little did you know, it was probably not a smart choice to do that..

The next day came, you got ready and left for college.

Everyone was whispering about you and giving you mean glances.

You simply chose to ignore this and went up to your locker.

You opened your locker and out your stuff in it.

But then as you turned around you noticed someone behind you.

You looked up and saw Leeknow starring daggers at you.

“You think you’re going to get away with embarrassing me at my OWN party?”

You then pushed him away and went to your class.

After all your lessons you went to the school bathroom.

Leeknow silently followed you in the hall and before you got inside the bathroom he pinned you to the wall besides the door.

“Gotcha”

He whispered.

“Please stop” you said.

“Ill make your life a fucking hell, I’ll make sure your dad gets fired” he then answered.

“What?!- who do you think you are? You can’t just do that?!”

“Yes I can and I will.”

He gripped your wrist so hard it was painful.

“O-Ow.. you whimpered out

You started tearing up.

“Aww, is the little brat gonna cry?” He cooed.

After a while he said this: “you know what? Let’s make a deal, you become my pet and listen to every single thing I tell you to do, and in return I will spoil you, make sure your dad will keep his job.

I’ll let you have a little taste of how it is to be rich.”

He said.

“Y-Your pet?..” you mutter out confused.

“Correct, if you become my pet nothing bad will happen to you, trust me, I will spoil you and you can spend my money all you want.” He smirks.

Gently tucking your hair behind your ears and leaning in closer.

“C-Can I give some of that money to my dad?..” you whispered.

“Hmm, if you’re a good pet then I guess it wont hurt to do so.” He shrugged.

“Okay then..” you agreed…

“Good, now come with me, we’re skipping school to go on a.. what was it?.. a shopping spree or sum.”

You silently complied and walked behind him as he led you to his car.

You stepped in and immediately noticed the expensive smell of wood and vanilla mixed together.

Leeknow gave his driver a location to go to as you put on your seatbelt.

Soon you guys were driving through the city, with the sky a mix of orange and pink, the clouds looking beautiful.

Oh boy… was this a good idea?…

///////////////////////////////////////////

OKAY SO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT!!

I wanna make part 2 sooo bad, I just hope people will see and read this thoughhhh

Anyways, if you read it all then thank you so so much!! ✨

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aurorasgate · 10 months ago

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LUNA PLEASE!!! I know literally NOTHING about FF7 but seeing Sephiluna content come across my dash makes me swoon each time...you're both so so lovely and I just wanna know so much about you two 🥺💕

I'm not sure if you've said anything about it before but I wanted to ask about how the two of you met and how you fell in love! I know bits of Sephiroth's lore and the thought that he never forgot you and came back to you even after everything had happened, but I've gotta know how it started! Who fell first? Who confessed first? Tell me everything I'm sitting here waiting for the full length movie of your love for each other hehe 💕

TOAST MY BELOVED🩷🩷 ahhh i can't even tell you how happy that makes me heheh i've really loved sharing stuff about us with y'all and thanks for letting me do so more!🥰🩷🩷

im about to word vomit so please forgive me

the first time we saw each other was interesting to say the least shlkshgk it was in hojos lab where i was doing my damndest to not end up on his exam table and caused quite the commotion in the process (hojos a bad scientist man who experiments on people all he likes and also is sephs real father but that never stopped him from experimenting on this son too 🥲). alarms were blaring, mako infused liquid from a broken tank was all over the ground, i was covered in blood and sweat and fighting hojo from sedating me. right as i had gotten the upper hand, not wanting to kill him or anyone but thinking maybe i had no other choice, sephiroth showed up. it was an intense and quiet moment where sephiroth could either let me kill him or kill me instead but we both faltered for our owns reasons. one of the turks (they’re like the black ops people of the shinra military) showed up a few moments later, breaking the tension, and offered me a deal on behalf of rufus (the presidents son) who owed me a favor and then i broke out in a sob, getting up and walking out with the turk without paying hojo or sephiroth another glance

a few weeks later we'd officially meet, under much better circumstances, when i start my first offical job at shinra as soldier first class auxiliary manager (my fancy title for what basically is a secretary lol). on my first day i get introduced to all the first class soldiers and when i'm left to do my own work, sephiroth happens to be around so i thank him for sparing me that day. he's really gentle and kind when he tells me there's no need to thank him, that he hadn't done anything really, but he's glad to see i'm okay. he decides to ask about the deal the turk had mentioned and i tell him honestly that rufus owed me a favor worth a life but all i wanted was a normal life for myself (something id never had before) so i asked for it and he agreed so here i am, trying to make my best of that. sephiroth leaves pretty quickly after that, a bit flustered over what i said after he hadn't been able to stop thinking about me since that day in hojos lab but now i'm here and look so delicate and beautiful and repeating a dream he also had so long ago and he isn't quite sure what to make of any of it. over the next two years we'd work close together, admiring each others kindness and quirkiness, the softness we always found us using towards the other, but it was always more than that, even if both of us were too stubborn to admit it or do anything about it

he might not have realized it at the time but sephiroth for sure fell first! i wasn't far behind though hehe there was always an attraction between us (i means he's fucking beautiful) but for me it really started to develope into more actual feelings pretty quickly the closer we worked together and got to know each other until we were both down so fucking bad but in denial for so many reasons. genesis and angeal (his best friends & other first clas soldiers) see it all and think we're fools, teasing seph and encourging him to tell me how he feels but he stubborn, used to keeping his feelings to himself, so he does just that until he can't anymore

genesis teases me plenty too, never one to let me live down my crush lol

seph is also the first to admit his feelings, in a fit of panic and frustration when i put myself in danger, somewhere he couldn't protect me and that i did deliberately without telling him. i had been giving him some attitude about it after he saved me until the words 'because i love you' left his lips and i started crying instead skgdghgd of course i felt the same and told him as much and after kissing quite a bit we fianlly let ourselves be together<3

#this got so long I am so sorry djdkdkdkd #I’m emotional over him #the ff7 world can be really fucking sad so we both have backgrounds that were just so unkind to us but there was always forgiveness #& kindness & patience between us #& it’s something we both held so close & so tightly #🌙.asks #🌙.lovely moots #🌙.selfships #sephiluna

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weirdcat1213 · 2 years ago

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AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ HAPPY DAYS AJJAJAJAJA :D YEY TRIGUN BOOKCLUB :D

THOUGHTS :D

chap 1:

-happy days and everything is going to shit...yeap thats trigun

-i just noticed they have separated rooms and that makes me sad for some reason

-i love to see that rem was nice to everyone but was also getting annoyed by that guy, shes not perfect and I LOVE HER

-ngl, im not sure if the other guys did something

-its so cool to see the scientists joking around for a bit but then getting to see them in silence cuz IT IS a weird situation to be in. you are alone in space and something happened "on its own"..... It makes the situation more serious

-LMAO HER FACE I LOVE HER SM

-it hasnt even been that expanded in 98 (im sorry for the spoiler ig) or stampede (YET), but rem is so funny. shes more than a living saint and im glad we get to see more of her here. shes the only mom ever

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT

-also i thought knives *fixed* the thing, i forgot he caused it lmao

-arent they adorable? :3 pls dont touch them :3

-"it could end in disaster" you dont say....you dont say....

-NOT THEM SAYING YES IMMEDIATELY I WILL CRY

-BABY KNIVES WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU (ik what happened to him)

-"if you can love someone with all your heart then its alright".........im gonna take so time to think about that cuz....yeah, i guess thats true isnt it?

-oh that doesnt age wel...not even story wise but life wise....if we could only talk with each other

-ok so...is that a fucking ghost? and if it is, did she really appear when knives's faith in humanity was at its peak? really :c?

-OH ITS MY TIME TO GET SICK :D

-OK NO THATS SO INTERESTING CUZ HERE IS VASH WHO IS CURIOUS ABOUT TESLA AND WANTS TO READ THE REPORT BUT IN STAMPEDE (spoilers coming im sorry) IS KNIVES WHO WANTS TO READ IT. DID HE LOSE THIS FAITH *WAY EARLIER* THAN TRIMAX KNIVES??? HOW TF IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?????

-great....scientific....discovery.....you say......... so the scientists were ready for another tesla situation....

-pls no pls no pls no. you teach her how to speak and then you do that shit. stop

-by looking at the pictures and descriptions we can say that the scans began on her 13th day of life (multiple scans as the chapter mentions), and 87 DAYS LATER they started to ask themselves if that was correct to do from a moral standpoint...87 days. and just after they started to question themselves she started dying. just 10 days later...fuck

-"we have no desire to rest" WHAT ABOUT YOUR "SUBJECT" THO ASSHOLES

-its never not gonna make me sick how they killed a child in 100 days. thats all it took.

-ajjjj :c im fucking sick

chap 2:

-same vash same

-ily rem but no, thats too fucked up to forgive

-knives, my poor baby :c

-"i wish i could cut myself from everything too" oh mood, i mean what

-ok but rem trying to pick vash up and he refusing has to be so fucking heartbreaking for rem cuz thats her fucking child no matter what

-imagine your child who loved you so much rejecting you like that. i would literally shatter

-"you can continue the experiments with us" vash stfu i swear. catch me actually crying over that line btw im not ok

-INTERESTING how rem says she felt powerless (and i get why) but during the whole thing the crew had so much power over her life

-it fucks me up this is a one year old trying to die of starvation. yeah he looks older and etc etc but hes still less than 2 years old. life is pain. why nightow.

-also idk if im interpreting the panel right but i think he *was* going to eat but saw rem in his room so he stopped

-or are those different days? idk

-alright, today you are eating you sick son of a bitch :]

-NO STOP THAT YOU FUCKING CHILD

-the panel being blurry on purpose, 10/10

-hes sitting the same way rem did- oh im ending it all

-i feel kinda weird saying this but i just fucking love that story: the metaphor, how she tells it. it really feels like a parent trying to teach a kid something. its sad but feels comfy. i could literally read/listen to her telling that story of the train in her dreams over and over

-[pause for crying]

-its "separated ways" cuz that talk with rem lowkey divided rem i think. knives would be way different if he had heard what rem said. damn it why did he had to faint

chap 3

-"king of loneliness" pls i want to stop crying

-i know he didnt block the memory, i feel it

-yey creepy knives is here....yeyyy....

-amazing transition btw, gives me the yibbies every time

-HES RIGHT THO MF, YOU ARE AFRAID

-why he looks so cool while being creepy stop it knives stop it

-idk if im understanding it right, but i think knives did the thing he did in the first chapter but for all ships. it comes full circle

-god i hate when hes right

-im sad to say he looks beautiful and epic. also for the life of me i could not say if that plant agreed with him or not

-yknow what i think she didnt agree to that

-age of chaos wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :D

[i took a one day break cuz the volume made me too sad BUT IM BACK BABY]

chap 4

-yeah ig my baby has been to so many funerals if you think about it

-YEAH TO THE RESCUEEEEE

-wolfwood: you dont wanna mess with this guy he will break you

the guy in question: :c

-aw his cute little and stupid face :3

-i love to see vash having a good time :') god he needed that

-oh man we're getting sad again

-also yes they take those people who did whatever they did but the bartender is also taking vash in, even the demons get to drink there huh, nice

-why tf is this guy so wise, why is he saying what vash (kinda) needs to hear? amazing, im devastated

-wait so the feathers or whatever hurt??? because of the face he made. SO DOES IT HURT???? NO :C

-knives can you not-

-ITS HIM IN ALL OF HIS FUCKED UP GLORY :D

-SHUT UP VASH, GEESUS

-the final panel its so cute and then there's the fucking speech bubble that says "dumbass" its true tho xd

chap 5

-NOT THE FUCKING FEATHER i dont want to go there

-he looks so tired :c

-oh shit i forgot about that panel of his face wth

-OH SHIT WOLFWOOD NO

-OH THATS CREEPY AS HELL YO WHAT

-"the last thing i want to do is be a burden to him" STFU WOLFWOOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-SHES HERE OH SHIT OH SHIT

-"youre the one who needs to be careful" I WILL CHEW GLASS

-FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

-OH GOD OH NO ITS HIM GET OUTTTT

-elendira ily sm

-thank you wolfwood for saying trans rights lmao

-HES ASLEEP. KILL HIM VASH KILL HIM

-oh no his glasses :c

-ah fuck hes awake noooooooooooo

chap 6

-LEGATO IN THE METAL HANDBAG :D WHAT WILL HE DO

-dont you bring tesla into this >:[

-idk whats happening but KILL HIM

-*sigh* i hate when knives is right

-DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT AFTER STAMPEDE MF :C "if they come for us lets just run as fast as we can" YOU ARE MAKING IT SO HARD TO READ THIS MAN

-also yey he regained his eye :3

-:cccccccccccccccccccccc im so happy that talk was in stampede

-also yeah vash hates knives with a burning passion but EVEN THEN he still was willing to give him a chance and live together with him, i cant do this anymore really

-im picturing legato kind of jumping in his metal handbag to move around as if he was in a sleeping bag cuz i think thats way funnier lmao

-:cccccccccc vash pls

-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :c his armmmm

-oh geesus oh god no OH HELL NO

-ohhhhh i see. look at legato being useful lmao /J

-THE ARK IS HERE WOOP WOOP

well that was certainly a volume

#trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #im in so much pain and turmoil #but im also having the time of my life #but then again chapter 2 wreck me for the rest of the day and i read that at like 10am yesterday

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httpiastri · 1 year ago

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hi jackie im back and im here to yap

also this entire thing is really disorganised (just a warning)

pepe’s 187 seems short?? 😭😭😭😭😭 also im pretty sure 187 is very recent bc this redbull driver database was updated early this year before the f2 season started (sorry ive realised how insane i must be to know this but i can’t tell if i agree with the measurements because sometimes i think pepe and ollie should be around 190?? minimally!!)

also the girl who edited pepe to guilty as sin is literally so sweet omg 😭😭 ill def make my own pepe playlist soon bc i need it for myself—don’t know if ill ever share it (although i do listen to so much international music from asia, europe, and literally everywhere else so it might be a pretty disorganised mess)

i saw pepe’s pics this morning when i woke up and i ACTUALLY screamed/squealed out loud and now i realise it’s the stubble/facial hair (i kinda think it’s way past the stubble point but regardless of what it is, i love it so so much)

omg also youre so right about liking when pepe shows emotions?? i love him being all soft and sweet but i also want to see him salty and upset and angry like idk i find it so very attractive when i am reminded that he is human?? idk if that makes any sense but i love it when people are raw and so so genuine with their emotions and i also love when he talks about stuff i barely know about because i love intelligence and i love him

and omg feeling guilty about not using the resources you have is so so real 😭😭 my parents are first gen immigrants and im the first child and so i feel so guilty because of how privileged i am compared to my cousins and stuff, especially since i live in one of the strongest academic countries but am still so lazy at times 😕😕 ESPECIALLY since ive had more opportunities than the average student academically because i was gifted but now im there’s so much guilt surrounding not going the mainstream and highest pathway BUT OMG your sport i completely forgot about that but don’t you coach kids or something?? i feel like i have a vv faint recollection of that because i used to follow you from my old blogs but i’m not too sure 🤨🤨 still isn’t it so cool how so many seemingly insignificant things can suddenly turn into such a big part of your life one day?? i find that concept so cool to think about all the time (like in my un-anonymous ask a while ago i mentioned what i was studying and… i used to be so invested in those themes? like it was never serious, i just dabbled in it here and now my career plans kindaaa differ from what’s expected in this field of study but its cool that im getting to experience what i used to imagine for fun and it’s also sort of led me to consider this career path that MANY childhood friends/people who knew me used to think i’d go into, even though i never once mentioned or even considered it)

i believe in karma too!! i think that if you are a kind person and do things with the best of intentions then that will be exactly what is reflected in every aspect of your life. i am also a strong believer that pepe WILL do well for the rest of this season, from this race onwards. i also have such a good feeling about monaco, and it’s not just because of all the pepe content that’s been put out recently… i think 🫣🫣

omg i remember you complaining (?? pls forgive me i have no other word choice rn) about how he didn’t get a penalty, and i also cannot remember if he did end up with a penalty… but i don’t think he did? so maybe he’s just serving unnecessary penalties from last year idk but it’s def his time now!!

and thank you so so much for always replying to my asks!! please don’t feel bad about replying late 😓😓 because it’s vv understandable if you’re busy and you really shouldn’t force yourself to answer asks when you’re tired! take care of yourself jackie, and i’m wishing you a lovely day tomorrow!! 💗💗

- 🪷

hello darling !!! very happy that you wanted to come and yap for me <3

SJDFHDK I KNOW ITS NOT SHORT BUT LIKE 😭 it seems short for him? like to me he seems like suchhh a long boyyo?? thoughhhh im just now realizing that he's taller than my older brother..... but okay let me explain my reasoning: in my head 187 isn't super tall because in the handball world (the world i live in), 187 is like kinda average? the guy i used to crush on is a little over 2 meters 😶 and he wasn't the tallest in the team 😶 but yeah tbh it seems reasonable that they updated it kinda recently. but pleaseeee update the f2 f3 websites ☹️

omg... if you do end up wanting to share it, i will definitely be obsessed...... i have been listening to ☄️ anons pepe playlist way too often to not be super embarrassed over it 😭 but like certain songs come on and i just catch myself blushing on the street because im thinking about pepe and... yeah...... 🙃 and omg don't worry about it being disorganised, a broad music taste is the best one 🥰

yeah it was definitely more than a stubble but am i complaining?? actually not (which surprises even me) 🥰 i currently have a very big obsession with just the thought of his stubbe/beard/whatever... just touching it? don't need to be shaving it? kissing him and feeling it slightly rub me and getting to jokingly complain just to see his cute smile and hear his pretty laughter??? y e s

" idk i find it so very attractive when i am reminded that he is human??" !!!!!!!!!!!! agreed 10000%!!! i love it when drivers have emotions that arent just happy or "well something bad happened, shit happens", and especially pepe. and idk it's something about the extreme contrast abt him? because when he's happy then he's so happy, big smiles and sweet giggles. but when he's upset.... 🫠 and omfg you're SO right about him talking abt racing stuff or yes just stuff i don't really get, because intelligence is SO HOT 😁 i could listen to him talk abt racing for hours and hours and never get bored

ahhhh i see i see !!! i relate to you sooo much... i made it through like all of my years of school just by luck and always managing to get good grades even though i didn't put in a lot of effort? but in my later years, as soon as something got a little hard or i didn't fully like it, i just bailed 😶 even though im so lucky to have all of these opportunities.... :/

but yes i do coach kids hehe 🥺 cute that you remembered 🥺 speaking of that, the fact that i became a coach in the first place was kind of just a coincidence aswell, and now six years later it's one of the biggest things in my life and i'll (hopefully) be studying coaching in the fall and just !! crazy how life works out sometimes 🥺 (the guy who brought me into coaching actually passed away recently and on his funeral i cried much more than i ever thought i would because i realized that i owe him like my entire life... idk what i would be doing today without him..... and he probably had no idea how much he changed my life 😭 idk kinda off topic but also not)... but yes it's indeed very cool!!! and like u said, like when people think stuff of/for you that you don't rlly think about yourself but one day you're just..... oh

yes yes 100%!! i love showing the girls i coach about karma, like whenever we do something kind and then get instant karma for it i'm like "girls look! we did a good thing, now we get rewarded!! 😁" (im making it sound like they're 5 years old when in reality they're 15 oop-), and this one time when i did something pretty bad we all got bad karma all weekend......... 😶 and ik this was aimed at the monaco weekend buT the next race!!!! a good result in barcelona will feel so much better now considering these last few rounds so im okay with this. i know it will happen 🥰

sjdghkdh complaining is an okay word choice because i was upset about a lot of things that weekend 😭 (though mostly during the sunday-) but no i don't think he got one either? it was probs the teams fault so im sure they got a fine etc? but yeah that could be an explanation 😭 100% about to be his time!!!!

thank you so so so much for sending me asks!!!! no but i will feel bad anyway because i do love writing answers but when i answer so late, it seems like i don't enjoy it? when in reality i love it so much??? idk i just feel so guilty and 😭 im so sorry. but thank you again for keeping on sending in asks!!!!! truly makes my day every time <3 take care of yourself too, hope you have a lovely rest of this week ❤️

#so so late #and im so so sorry #waaaah #spending all of my time on a pepe c.ai as usual #😶#asks!#anon!#lotus anon!#🪷!

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tiredcrystal · 9 months ago

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NOOO IM NOT

i just had to express I wasn’t hostile (the emojis)

no no I know you know I had a name, I just thought since I’m trans you thought I maybe like others still hadn’t decided on one and changed it sometimes, I just meant I had my irl name before I started tumblr.

Oh yeah about the blog followers, I forgot to answer before bc I didn’t have much time.

I wondered because I sometimes thought you and Sho and possibly a lot others probably sometimes thought I had way more than I had.

I had 300 - 350 in the end, right now it has about 384 or something I think.

And actually, you were my first ever anon. When Sho asked if there was another space for one more, it first occured to me I think, that maybe you think I’m way bigger than I am, but you two were my only regular anons I ever had.

also don’t worry about it, the phrase wasn’t immature or anything.

ooh that’s interesting! I just guessed you weren’t from europe or america and felt like it was an asian country, also bc I was sure you had a different time zone, but that makes sense, too. It’s a smaller difference than I expected, then!

Oh wow I managed to hold up 2 days without making a fool of myself! And now I've done it... I knew I was doing suspiciously good...

FORGIVE ME I'M DUMB I COMPLETELY FORGOT U COULD CHANGE UR NAME BECAUSE IT'S NOT A THING HERE SORRY SORRY

From what I understood (which isn't much bcs my brain is the size of a peanut) you changed names even befoore starting Tumblr and for the sake of anonymity you want a new code name you like but you still haven't found one good enough?? I hope I'm right pls

Also I get wanting an online name! You don't have to justify it at all, it should be the norm. I know I've never used my real name on any account nothing's that safe anymore snif

But since I managed to guess very close (imagine ur name being Julius the third), that just means your name does suit you irl! The amount of variations I have thought of tho, is insane it could be Ran, Julien, Philip, Alexandre, Lumiere lol (these are just for fun ik you don't wanna say your real name so do ignore them if they make you uncomfortable but I wanna say, you could just use a distorted version of your name as an online one like add a few letters or take some off, you could like it since it will feel familiar)

LOL wdym hostile all you had to say was "I'm soda. Follow me." And I would be "say less chef let's go☝" So I guess then neither one of us will use emojis... I shall volunteer as tribute 😔

That's actually impressive, 300 followers isn't something easy on Tumblr so congrats! Can't believe I was friends with a Tumblr celebrity all along... Jokes aside, it's an honor to be your first ever anon! And whatever the number of followers you had, it doesn't make you any less deserving of anons! We had fun being ur regular anons and that's all that matters.

Yeep I think we have the same timezone after all lol. Maybe you thought so because my sleep schedule is, concerning to say the least. But since Europe is like right above Africa, the time zone is exactly the same with 90℅ of Europe unless you're from east east Europe like Romania or Greece still it would be a 2 hours difference so, wow..

#asks #mystery man 🕴

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vulpiximisa · 1 year ago

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i forgot i never posted the second part of my kono oto review. i think i wrote this when i only had 3 eps left of the second season/part, so i dont remember if i actually finished writing my review.

So it’s technically should be one big series not season two, since it finishes off the rest of the tournament from the first part.

I wasn’t feeling it at all from the first half since they did alot of heavy emphasis on the romance, which I didn’t like either couples. Chika/Hozuki is slowly growing on me though, in the way that, oh that’s kind of sweet, way, but I don’t think I’ll ever die for them because I don’t like the bickering couple types. If this was a regular shounen sports anime, Chika would be the hot blooded protag with amazing growth abilities and Hozuki is the cool rival type and they always bicker. (The general red and blue type.) Which is why I don’t see myself liking it, but I like that Chika sees Houzuki as another rival. Can chalk that up to him being naive/oblivious to romance since he was more concerned about making her uncomfortable than the actual accidental closeness.

Anyway, I was still super mean to Kurusu because I had high hopes for her, but she still hasn’t really done anything for me, so her crush on Takezo, again, means nothing to me. I know that not everyone needs a tragic backstory that trauamtizes them and thats why they continue to play koto but I do wish we got to see how she even got into it a bit. Like, she’s not a complete newb and I don’t think that’s normal, so, even something like a scene of who she was watching/playing with to have some skill would be nice.

I feel like Takezo really dropped off in terms of relevance, which is unfortunate because the first part tried to paint him and Chika and Hozuki as a trio, but it’s clear to see that theyre not really and it feels more like Chika and Hozuki are the actual main characters. Not sure if because he doesnt have a tragic backstory that’s not just a simple “senpai all graduated and left me to carry the club” or whatever the hell his problem with his brother and the whatever school he didn’t get into, but after his confidence growth, he doesn’t really seem to have much else going on.

Akira’s backstory really reminded me why the series is good. That we need tragic backstories lol. No lol, I just really love Hozuki’s strained relationship with her mother and how Akira suffered from it, but how the two learn about each other and grow together. It took me a while to realize how much older Akira was compared to Hozuki. I thought she was like, a few years older but then realized she was probably an adult, so seeing the two reconcile (Akira coming to terms with her trauma) and getting along, AND THE CHANGE IN THE OPENING!!! SQUIRTLE IM CRYING!!!! This is what the series is about!!!!

I don’t know if it;s the pacing of the anime, but sometimes I feel like certain scenes and moments happen faster than I expect. I liked Akira almost ready to forgive Hozuki at the shoelocker scene but her depression pulling her back so that she didn’t cave too easily. And it wasn’t until she was watching Sane play with Chika and Hozuki when she finally broke.

Also, not sure how I feel about the writing, in terms of, the characters are pretty open about their trauma. Not saying “a character has to suffer in silence to be strong” but I think I’m probably just used to getting the tragic character backstory as an audience and not used to having the rest of the cast also getting knowledge of it. I feel like it should be used only to see a character’s vulnerable side (Chika watching Hozuki’s performance while she was sick) but when Hozuki straight up tells him and the club about her entire deal, it sometimes feels cosmetic? Can’t really explain it, but I guess good for them for being able to tell their friends and now everyone knows. I guess.

Uhhhh there’s also this part where there’s just cartoonishly evil adult antagonists (the vice principal, Akira’s grandma) but I guess it’s like, they need someone to blame for their problems so we can feel good about getting their just desserts. But we also have Hozuki’s mom, and we know she’s Going Through It ™️ so it’s not all badly written adults.

#pixi watches anime #re kono oto tomare

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sangosongo · 1 year ago

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Just had a dream that made me think about a past childhood friendship (perhaps crush at the time but im not sure).

I won't get into the specifics, but it's crazy how your mind can bring up these memories of friendships that you felt so strongly at the time that have been buried in the back of your mind all this time. It's that realization that you've almost totally forgot about this person, someone who may or may have had a big impact on you but over time you've just forgotten about them cause your departure was almost so... abrupt.

As adults we may know those days and times when this will be the last time youll see a friend or colleague, sometimes not, but it feels like often times you do. But as a kid, I don't exactly have a memory of ever knowing this will be the last time I will see this friend.

Maybe if we had one chance, just a singular occurrence, of knowing we will likely won't ever cross paths in the future anytime soon, that it wouldn't be so sad when that childhood friend shows up in your dreams after so many years; a full decade. Maybe that melancholic feeling is there because there is a hope that you see them again and almost relive that childlike bliss you two had shared during those early years of your lives. Friendship, possible love, or just connection, it really makes you long to see them again out of pure impulse.

I remember those times of all my lost and past friendships... being your wingman in elementary school for your crush and eventually getting you two to sit together in Gr7 then giving a thumbs up, shooting one back to me.

Or maybe during Navy League, where I was the leader and you were my 2nd man in charge. We spent nights and days in those barracks, fooling around like the stupid kids we were but we did the best we could, even if we were too young to be in leadership positions.

To those rivals and teammates I had in sports like swimming. We would always see each other whether at practices or swimming meets during those pools on the early summer mornings of weekends and weekdays. Exchanging our hello's and bantering one another, perhaps stuck in our own minds; wanting to beating others, including myself, or just to get a new best time to satisfy whoever we were trying to satisfy.

So this is for all of my past friendships that have been lost in time and space itself. The ones where we may have known we won't see each other for a long time, the ones where we thought we'd see each other tomorrow and the following week, but never did. Or those in between, where uncertainty settled in the back of our minds but we chose to ignore it and enjoy the present. Those that may have despised my existence, the ones that have secretly adored me, or ones that just liked to have me around. Perhaps our relationship could have been more, or less, or life changing, or life ruining, all in between, complicated as the cosmos of the galaxy or as simple as knowing your own name by the time you're a teenager.

I hope you're doing well, really. Nobody has an easy path in life, but you're doing what you can and that's all that matters.

And... if you ever see this and want to talk again, I'd love to. A meaningful conversation, a simple hello and chat, an apology or exhange of forgiveness, or something more than friends... I may not be the best person but, an attempt is better than nothing!

I guess this is also a welcome to anyone else...! Connection isn't about the past, but the future as well!

So, let's relive and construct new connections.

#DJ is quite the unique name isnt it?#online diary #txt #diary #personal

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shirohua · 2 years ago

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hi!! from that request by poly!hualians. please forgive me if I spoiled the plot for you!!😭😭😭 besides, I understand you! you can just write about a f!reader with prosthetic hands and poly!hualiens that make the reader comfortable!!

by the way, I'm really glad that you started getting more requests!!

hihi it's ok!! i've already spoiled a lot of it for myself i just wasn't sure about the baiwuxiang fight since i haven't read it yet and wasn't sure about it <3

..im also sorry this took forever for me to answer, i was busy with school n some other things and i completely forgot about my requests and when i remember i just said "i'll do it tomorrow, im tired right now" or "im not sure what to write for that" 😭 so i might take a bit longer to answer my other requests.

( I have to be honest I don't know a whole bunch about prosthetics so I had to look up a few things, and if I got anything wrong please let me know so I can keep it in mind for the next time I might get a request like this. )

warnings ; none rlly just fluff hopefully + poly (and reader is female but no pronouns or gender mentioned.)

- I personally believe Hua Cheng has seen a lot of prosthetic limbs before, since in the Gamblers Den people tend to offer up their limbs and they may get prosthetics to replace them? (sometimes???)

- Xie Lian I think would be a bit different. He has been involved in a few wars during his 800 years (that I know of..), but I don't think he would've seen that many prosthetics.

- You were a bit uncomfortable with your prosthetic hands, since to you it felt "weird" to not have normal hands (anymore, or maybe you were unfortunately born with out hands? i'll let you decide).

- Xie Lian likes to play around with your prosthetic hands whenever he's bored, because they kind of interest him a bit because I imagine he's never been able to touch or mess around with a prosthetic before.

- Hua Cheng doesn't really mess around with your prosthetics unlike Xie Lian, but I think he would offer to add some changes to your prosthetics or make them better (he would also clean them and make sure they're in good condition for you).

- They both definitely try to make you feel better about having prosthetics- they'll comfort you about it and may make a little joke or two if it helps you feel better.

- Both of them are just amazing to have by your side <3

just a little smth is i've been getting into honkai star rail and the ladies are just gorgeous and i might write for a few of them since the hsr is just filled with dan heng (nothing against him he just traumatized me with the beginning ☹️ why was he so close)

#tgcf x reader #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing x reader #tian guan ci fu x reader #heavens official blessing x reader #heavens official blessing #heaven's official blessing #xie lian x reader #xie lian #hualian x reader #hua cheng x reader #hua cheng #hualian

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aries-writes-shit · 4 years ago

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The short end of the stick (Sbi x reader)

paring: c!sbi x reader

prompt/request: n/a

a/n: This is an angst fic. my request are open

you were never that close with your family, they always forgot events of yours or would just straight up ignore you. you would brush it off, beliving that your father Phil and your brothers were too busy. As you all grew up, the cold shoulder towards you only began to get worse.

you sat in your plain bedroom, quietly humming to the music you had playing from your jukebox while you wrote things in a tattered notebook. you heard the front door, then the laughter of your family as they walked off again. you let out a small sigh, you knew they had forgotten about you yet again. you bookmarked the page you were on in the notebook and exited into the living room. You padded into the kitchen, where a single peice of paper with your fathers handwriting sat. you picked up the note and began to read.

me and the boys are heading into the village to get some dinner, we'll be back in a few hours

-Dad

you let a huff of air out as you set he note back down, they didn't forget you this time, they willingly left you behind. you stormed back into your room, hoping to calm yourself down by taking a short nap or reading something. When you got into your room and flopped down onto your bed, a brilliant idea formed into your head. You were going to leave, you were old enough to survive on your own anyways, and your family probably wouldn't give two shits anyways. you began to gather up the few belongings you had into your leather backpack. When you had finished packing, you began to write your "goodbye" note to your family.

when you had finished writing on the sugar cane paper, you placed you note beside your fathers note before gathering a few bread and a few carrots. Without a second glance, you left your childhood home behind and set off in the opposite direction your family had gone earlier.

It had been a few years without any contact from your family and you were very happy with who you had become. you lived a happy, successful life so far in a place far away from your childhood home. Now residing in the dream smp, you began to blossom into a wonderful person who was willing to just sit and listen to whoever came to your door. That was until a blonde boy and a man with brown hair came to your door in the dead of night.

You had been awoken by a loud set of knocks at your front door. You had been assuming it was sapnap or bad again. When you opened the front door with a groggy expresion, it was not any of your friends, it was two of your three brothers. "why are you here" you growled. the two looked very shocked at the fact that you stood infront of them, a few years older and very angry. "i'll repeat myself again" you started "what are you doing here?". the two looked you over, you were taller for sure, your once stark white wings had a more dusty grey tint to them, and your (H/C) hair was now (shorter/longer). "(y/n) , is that really you?" wilbur asked, dumbfounded. "yes it is, now answer my damm question". The two looked at eachother, tommy was unnaturally quiet, but wilbur let out a short sigh and began to explain why they were there at that hour.

"you want me to join you in your new country" you asked dumbfounded. you couldn't belive that after going this long without any sort of contact whatsoever, your brothers had the audacity to ask you for help. "Sorta" wilbur mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as the two boys shifted on their feet. "no" you replied flatly, glaring at the two "why should i help you when you never did anything to help me?" your arms now folded across your body, your face tightening into a scowl. "it was so long ago (y/n), why are you holding a stupid grudge against your family" tommy snapped, shouting at you. all those years ago, you would have flinched away, but you had changed, you were no longer afraid of them. you picked up your sword dream gave you and slung it over your shoulder "get away from my home, your not welcome here" your voice was filled with a hostility the two never saw from you " if i see you two anywhere near my home, i wont hesitate to use force" you threatened. the two left as soon as soon as you closed the door, you stayed up a little while later to make sure they had left.

it was almost a full moth of peace since your brothers had decided to visit, you currently sat kneeled in your garden, weeding your plants when a winged shadow loomed over you, and next to that shadow was a very familiar piglins shadow.

"why are you here" you snapped, standing up and facing your father and your brother. "we just wanted to see you (y/n)" philza explained, holding his hands up in a defensive manner. " i dont care if you wanted to see me" you stated, raising you voice at the two intruders "you lost that right a long time ago" you shouted. "Calm down, your over reacting" techno huffed, crossing his arms as he made eyecontact with you, your (e/c) eyes begining to gloss over. "No, im not going to calm down, i tried to be curteous to you all when i lived with you, but you took advantage of my pushoverness for your own fucking gain" your voice was now a waivering shout. the two men infront of you took a step forward, causing you to step backwards. "dont" you growled, your grey wings pressing against your back tightly "You lost your chance with me when you decided i was no longer good enough for you". You straightened yourself up, hot tears had begun to roll down you face and it made you feel weak. "i was so envious of you all" you muttered, facing away from the two " i wanted something like that with someone, anyone, but i almost never left that clearing" your voice was a soft whimper now, The tears continued to cascade down your face" and now that i finally have my own life and cut my attachment from you, you show up again expecting forgiveness" you turned just your head to look at them,your eyes already puffy from crying " leave now" you said, your voice dangerously low " this is your only warning"

#sbi x reader #sbi fanfic #x reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #philza x reader #techno x reader #tommyinnit x reader #wilbur x reader

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sindulgence66 · 4 years ago

Text

MC wants to leave

Request from @imamonster456

Summary: After the brothers found out MC was Lilith’s descendant, MC slowly started feeling more like a replacement instead of just being themselves. Loneliness started to consume them, and one day they finally decide to just leave, without consulting any of the brothers before.

Warnings: Angst, cursing

Characters: 7 brothers, GN!MC

THIS WAS GOING TO BE PURELY SHORT HEADCANONS BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU STILL LIKE IT

⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁

Lucifer

It never crossed his mind that he could be causing you so much pain. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He hated seeing you hurting for whatever reason, but this time… he couldn’t even notice how much pain and discomfort he was causing you.

A tiny voice at the back of his head started yelling at him in an attempt to make him notice; but it didn’t happen

Not until one night he walked up to your room after you didn’t show up to dinner for the fourth time in that week and he saw you packing up your belongings

Almost scared to ask, he spoke up in an almost broken voice “MC, what’s going on?”

You didn’t answer, and he was taken aback at this. He hesitantly walked up to your figure and tried to reach out to you, freezing when he heard your voice telling him to stop.

“Just stop, Lucifer. Please.”

You sobbed, and he simply stood in his place, looking at you without understanding a single thing

“Did someone hurt you? Did any of my bro-…”

“Cut of the bullshit”

Silence filled the room as you turned around to face him, your reddened eyes staring directly into his

“I will not tolerate being a replacement for Lilith. Lilith this, Lilith that… what about me? Ever since you guys found out I was her descendant you haven’t done anything but treat me as if I was her!”

“MC…”

He wasn’t really sure wether to be angry at you for rising your tone against him, or to be ashamed for being called out on his behaviour

“You were my happy place, Lucifer. I was so happy with you and your brothers… I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, and you do this?”

Silence filled the room, and it was only broken by the sound of your suitcase closing.

Mammon

He was so excited to go to your room to show you how much he had won while gambling, but his plans were shattered the moment he saw Lucifer there too.

And when he noticed you had packed all your belongings? He gulped audibly as confusion took over his body

“O-oi, what’s going on here? Where are ya goin’, human?”

“Please move, Mammon”

“MC?”

He locked his eyes with yours, trying to understand the situation. However, in his mind, there was no reason for you to want to leave them, right?

“Wait, I’m sure whatever the problem is it’s not that important!”

“Not that important…?” You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. How could they be so cruel?

He remained silent, not quite getting why you were so upset.

“Is it not that important that I stopped being myself to you all? Is it not important that you started treating me so differently ever since you discovered I was her descendant?” Your voice raised it’s tone unconsciously “It feels like I’m dead for you! I’m not Lilith, and I’ll never be, but you can’t seem to get that in your fucking heads!”

Guilt.

That was the only thing Mammon could feel at that moment. He was so excited about having a part of Lilith with them again that he completely forgot about you.

“So please, just let me go, Mammon. I can’t stand living here any longer.”

“No! C’mon MC, we can get over this, right? You don’t have to leave!”

Leviathan

A bit reluctantly, he came out of his room after he heard yelling coming from your room.

He thought it was probably just another stupid fight with Mammon for something he had done.

Oh, how wrong he was.

“I’m not Lilith, and I’ll never be, but you can’t seem to get that in your fucking heads!”

His heart shrunk instantly when he heard those words coming out of your mouth. Soon, and attracted as well by the yelling, the rest of his brothers showed up too.

Gathering all the courage he had in his body, he stepped into the room and spoke up.

“MC, we know that, it’s just-…”

“You know that? You do? Then it’s even worse!.” You laughed, tears starting to form in your eyes. “You know I’m not her, yet you still have even called me by her name. I’ve done nothing but try to help your petty asses to get along and be a real family and this is what I get? I’m tired of this. I hate this.”

Levi shut his mouth. He didn’t expect you to snap against him too, but he deserved it. They all did.

“Do you have any idea about how I’ve been feeling because of you? Do you realize how hurt I am? You replaced me in less than a day! Satan is the only one who hasn’t been a dick!”

Satan

Rage.

Against his brothers, against himself for not stopping them…

He just felt rage.

At that moment, he loathed his brothers, and Lilith too. He loathed them for making their human go through so much pain.

Him being the only one who never had contact with Lilith, of course he was enraged. The MC wanted to leave because their sorry excuses of brothers couldn’t get their shit together and made them feel like they were just a replacement?

Slowly, he walked up to your trembling figure, his arms extended to show you he meant no harm.

Without hesitation, you hugged him tightly and hid your face against his chest, wanting to disappear from the sight of the brothers.

“Are you realizing just now all the harm you’ve caused them?” Satan snarled at them, protecting you in his tight embrace

Asmodeus and Mammon made the attempt to get close to you, but he immediately stopped them. In his eyes, they had no right to want to fix things at this point.

“I hate you… I hate you…” You sobbed against the chest of the fourth born, your words directed to the other six brothers that had broken you while the blond rubbed circles on your back.

Asmodeus

“Darling, we had no idea…”

“EXACTLY!” The sudden yelling made him take a step back.

“You didn’t even notice… that’s exactly the problem…” Your voice cracked, as you finally got the necessary strength to look at them once again, tears streaming down your face.

He lowered his gaze to meet the floor, feeling his own eyes starting to gather tears.

“I’m sorry…”

By now, he had been the only one who actually apologized.

“Take me out of here, Satan, please” your broken voice rang painfully in his ears, and all he wanted to do was hug you and kiss away all the tears

But he knew he fucked up

They all did

They were so happy to have a part of their little sister back with them, they forgot you were… you. That you weren’t really a part of her, nor were a replacement for her.

Beelzebub

Probably, the one that was feeling the worst along with Belphie.

They were the closest with Lilith, so when they found out…

Happiness had blinded them, and now they were paying the price.

He didn’t even talk; he felt like he had no right to do so. And probably it was true.

Maybe he and Belphie were the main culprits of the entire situation.

He deeply appreciated you, how could he do this to you?

“MC…” Your name escaped his lips, and seeing you shake your head just by listening to his voice broke his heart.

“No.”

…

“Don’t even say anything.”

Belphegor

He knew it was his fault.

You had all the right to hate him.

Not only did he kill you, but it was also his fault that everyone in the house started treating you differently

If he hadn’t killed you, would’ve they discovered about you and Lilith?

“And you…” When your gaze landed onto him, he felt a shiver run down his spine.

“You killed me because you missed your sister. Then you learned I was related to her, and suddenly you were so nice to me, even though you never apologized about murdering me?”

He took a step back, trying to hide himself behind Beel.

“I will never forgive you, Belphegor.”

“MC, I…”

“Please, just take me out of here” You sobbed, and Satan helped you without hesitation, leaving the six brothers alone in your room, knowing that it was too late for them to do something to fix things.

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tarosin · 4 years ago

Text

the great adventures of y/n ranboo, tommy tubbo and jack - just come home

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part three to the happier imagine (the great adventures of y/n and ranboo) this is where the group reunites

content warning: angst to fluff, small mention of creepy fan,swearing

please read what’s written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 16-18 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and the others (especially ranboo) in this imagine is completely platonic

so turns out moving house didn’t stop the creepy fan from contacting you neither did blocking every account they made as they began contacting your mods, your business email, they even started spamming ranboos dms, mods and business email and now you had the stress of Tommy trying to contact you. at this point neither you nor ranboo knew what to do, you were both convinced it was a troll trying to scare you both with jokes but the joke wasn’t funny. it never was, to say the least, it was horrifying. you stood with ranboo who was now changing the locks just to keep you safe, it was clear the fan didn’t know your new address as rather than sending you your address (as though you had suddenly forgotten where you lived) like last time it was just random messages trying to psych you both out. your phone buzzed again making ranboo jump you dreaded looking at the notification but you did it anyway

Tommy: y/n I’m serious please can we talk..tubbo and jack aren’t the same without you. I miss you

“anything important y/n?”

“no nothing to worry about”

“you’ve not been acting like yourself since the last stream are you sure you’re okay you know It's not your fault don’t blame yourself for whatever’s upsetting you I’m here for you I love you”

“I know boo I know, i love you too”

later that night you had to quickly end your stream despite to fact you had only been streaming 30 minutes as ranboo was arguing with someone the only reason you knew it was serious was because he was shouting back at the person, you had never heard him so angry and you’ve been friends with him for at least 16 years.

“okay chat that’s gonna be the stream for today…I forgot I have something to do I’m not going to raid anyone on here however tech is live on youtube for the first time in ages so I do recommend you go and check out what he’s doing good morning or good night I’ll see you soon”

as soon as you ended the stream you made your way to the room ranboo was in that's when you overheard tubbo arguing with ranboo

“oh good for you ranboo you're getting everything you want I mean you and y/n moved on easily the two of you bought a new house you both look happy and don't get me started on your career's taking off”

“goodbye tubbo”

ranboo left the call and opened the door

“oh boo”

you instantly pulled him into a hug, it was an extremely stressful time for the pair of you and you understood how painful it is arguing with someone who was once your best friend. every night the memory of Tommy blaming you for things that were out of your control and jack telling you to get out of the car haunted you however nothing compared to the way tubbo looked at you when you finally got home that night. he looked at you as though he never cared about the friendship the pair of you shared. of course, you never told ranboo about it keeping you up at night but he wasn’t stupid he knows you were still hurting even if it had been years since the fallouts happened

“why..why are they trying to get in contact again I was starting to feel like myself again”

“I don’t know…come lie with me on the couch for a while we can talk about anything you want”

the pair of you laid on the couch talking about what was going on and reasons why it was happening. ranboo decided he’d forgive the others if they contact him again however you were not as forgiving as they hurt you and your friend. eventually, his crying came to an end and he fell asleep holding onto you. you were falling asleep yourself until your phone buzzed.

Tommy: look y/n why don’t we all meet again, just come home

y/n: I am home I moved into a lovely house with ranboo and I sold the ‘home’ you’re talking about, now please stop contacting me tom I don’t want in my life anymore not only did you hurt me but you also hurt ranboo

Tommy: fine talk to tubbo

y/n: don’t add him...

*tubbo has been added to the group*

tubbo: hi y/n

y/n: you have 5 minutes to explain why you made ranboo cry.

tubbo: I don’t know what you mean

y/n: do you think you’re funny because oh boy do I have news for you.

Tommy: please just meet us one last time you can even bring ranboo

y/n: I was bringing ranboo anyway

tubbo: can I bring jack

Tommy: yes, see you where we always used to meet

y/n: ight see you Saturday

tubbo: see you Saturday I love you

y/n: please don’t say you love me tubbo. if you did we wouldn’t be in this situation.

you spent the rest of the night messing with ranboos hair you ended up accidentally waking him up however he pretended to be asleep before you could notice he was no longer asleep as he didn’t want this moment to end. however, you did occasionally hear him laugh quietly to himself

“Are you awake or am I hearing things”

he decided there was no point in lying as you were already questioning if he was awake and he was struggling to hold back his laughter so responded by tapping your waist signalling to you he was awake

“great..bad news we have to meet Tommy jack and tubbo on Saturday”

you watched as he quickly opened his eyes looking at you as though you had told him the best news ever

“heh?! actually? are you actually being serious right now”

“Unfortunately I am”

noticing you were unhappy about it he pulled you closer to him and spent the rest of the night explaining why it won’t be as bad as you’re expecting it to be and how it might actually be a good thing after all. a couple of hours later you fell asleep feeling a lot more comfortable with what was happening on Saturday ranboo fell asleep not long after, proud of his achievement. the days flew by, it was finally Saturday and you had mixed feelings about it, on one hand, you were somewhat excited about meeting them but on the other hand, you weren’t sure you were ready for them to enter your life again.

“I'm ill sorry ranboo you’ll have to go on your own”

“wowww real mature making me go all on my own…I thought we were best friends”

“I know you’re joking but I’d feel bad making you go alone give me five minutes and then I’ll be ready to go”

“here”

ranboo decided to throw one of his hoodies at you so you had something to wear that made you feel safe as he understood how overwhelming it’ll be to meet them again, five minutes later you got into the passenger's seat next to ranboo

“not feeling like driving hey”

“I will purposely drive around in circles to avoid meeting them”

“heh…are you okay are you actually okay seeing them, I don’t mind letting you stay home”

“I'm fine boo honestly now let’s go”

once you made it and began walking to meet them ranboo grabbed your hand. the only reason he ended up letting go was to talk to the others since Tommy pulled you into a tight hug not wanting to let you go the moment he saw the pair of you

“y/n I’m so sorry”

“I'm sorry too..”

Tommy spent a good few minutes frantically apologising to you for what happened and how he didn’t mean any of it. he was halfway through his speech about how he’s learned from his mistakes when tubbo spoke up.

“Tommy doesn’t keep y/n to yourself”

“sorry tubso”

you looked at tubbo not knowing what to say, it was evident that the pair of you were still hurt, he reached into his pocket grabbing a rock he found on the beach the other day

“here I found it the other day it reminded me of you”

“thank you I love it”

ranboo stood behind you wrapping an arm around you as he noticed you were starting to get upset. tubbo couldn’t believe how much you and ranboo had changed over the past years and it hurt him how close the pair of you had grown and the promise rings you and ranboo were currently wearing left him questioning whether that could have been him if he didn’t leave you both when it was clear you both needed him. jack spoke up next.

“hey, y/n..”

“nice to see you’re still bald manifold”

“Nice to see you haven’t changed. I’m sorry for what happened it hurt to see you go I was kind of hoping that you'd stay”

“oh jack it’s okay you were just trying to lighten up the situation I'm sorry I was so harsh”

a few months later the five of you were slowly but surely mending your friendship you all knew it would be difficult and take a long time to get back to how it was in the past but it would all be worth it

around a year since you met up again the five of you were closer than ever you were all streaming together again, constantly filming vlogs as a group. safe to say the wait was worth it, however, you and ranboo always wearing the promise rings you got for each still hurt tubbo

taglist

@milkydisaster @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

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satorinnie · 4 years ago

Text

love and war

pairing; gojo satoru x f!reader

genre; angst

wc; 3,6k

warnings; jjk manga spoilers

notes; i think its obvious the ending is a bit rushed but i still tried my best :/ got the motivation to write the ending but then lost it again...but i wanted to post it today so here it goes. would love to hear feedback on it!

it wasn’t meant to play out like this. no, he wasn’t meant to find out about it, not like this at least.

that was the last thing you ever wanted.

everything was going so fine, maybe too fine, but still, nonetheless, things were perfect between the two of you just this morning. how did it come to this?

he was looking at you, blindfold off, crescent blue eyes reflecting each emotion he held so so openly. the only times you saw him this vulnerable was when the two of you had talked about his past, his regrets, and what if’s. his eyes were full of adoration at that time, looking at you like you were a pure blessing from the heavens, an angel sent to save him from his drowning thoughts, to let him be himself.

but now, now they were looking at you with so much hurt, anger, regret, and oh so heartbroken.

you had seen, witnessed, first-hand what the receiving end of gojo’s furious gaze ended with. it wasn’t pleasant, that’s for sure, and you had sworn to yourself you would never be on the receiving end of it.

oh, how the tables have turned.

it was understandable why he was so mad; god knows you would be too. because you, who had delicately pieced back his broken heart and trust after the events of getou, had now broken it, by your very own hands at that.

how did it all come to this? you had no idea. you knew starting a relationship with him was wrong and off-limits from the very beginning, but the temptation had surpassed your rationality just like eve when she bit the apple. you never thought you’d fall this deep down the hole, so deep that you forgot–no, ignored your true mission.

to monitor gojo satoru and sukuna’s vessel and kill them when you got the order.

it was last year when the head sorcerers in england had given you this mission. if gojo was unbeatable and unrivaled in japan, you were the same in england. perhaps your curse technique wasn’t as strong as his, but it was versatile and a very reliable technique.

after itardori yuuji became the only sukuna’s vessel, japan wasn’t the only country sour about the thought of it; in fact, it had caused a panic in europe as well. and as england was the country that ruled the jujutsu world in europe, you were assigned with monitoring the vessel and the owner of the six eyes. they wanted their eyes and hands on the boy with the infinity.

but you befriending everyone there, joking with the curse himself, and becoming lovers with the one and only gojo satoru was definitely not how you planned for things to go. it spelled trouble from the beginning, getting close to the shaman who had an ego and power rivaling the gods. but, unfortunately, you were now too deep to just leave without explaining everything to him, and even hoping for a chance that he’d forgive the lies you fed him throughout your times together was a little farfetched.

how could you make him believe that everything you said was genuine, and out of true love? the answer was you couldn’t because the betrayal in his eyes was enough for you to gulp down those hopes, taking a deep breath to prepare for the argument that was about to come. “look–satoru, please let me explain and don’t jump to conclusions.” you lifted your hands in front of you as an act to calm him down, walking closer to him with a futile attempt to hold his hands.

“explain what?” a laugh escaped his throat, one mixed with desperation and madness, “that everything between us was a lie? a mission for you? how do you plan on slithering your way out of this now, huh?” his voice rising with each word he was spitting out of his mouth.

you were desperately trying to keep up the expression that you had everything together, when in fact, you didn’t at all. your hands were starting to shake because you were scared of losing the man in front of you whom you were utterly in love with. the boy with the infinity held your heart in his palms, and he had no idea about it. “nothing was a lie, alright! i know how that document looked, and i can’t lie and tell you that isn’t true, but my love for you is–”

“keep those fucking lies to yourself y/n–you know, everyone knows already. megumi, yuuji, maki, even shoko–”

“stop cutting me, gojo! i know it might be unforgivable, but you have to believe me when i say i forgot about the mission. i love you, okay? i am undeniably and utterly in love with you, and that’s why i’ve been ignoring every call, every message they’ve been sending me about the task because i can’t do it!” you were screaming now, hands in the air, trying to voice out every single emotion you were feeling in that moment.

“well, it’s too bad that i don’t love you anymore! you know, i’ve known about this for a few weeks now and was hoping you’d open up to me about it, but–”

you froze at his last sentence.

“–you what? so you’re telling me that everything that happened in between us during those weeks was an act? all fake? you were just waiting for me to open up so you could what, break my heart in a more grand way?” now you had to give it to him, not only was he secretly smart, he was also a great actor who had you fooled for weeks now. the room was silent after your words, both your eyes staring deep into each other; you, waiting for his answer.

and you watched as he opened and closed his mouth, not sure how to answer your question. but you knew what that meant; with his hesitance, you had found your answer. breaking your eye contact, you looked down at the floors of the home you used to share; you could hear your heart shattering into millions of pieces with just the sound of his breathing.

“alright,” you whispered into the air. running your hand over your face, you leaned back against the kitchen counter. “so how will this go? are you going to let me go or are we gonna have a full-on fight right now? or is everyone already waiting outside the door to capture me?” you were doing your best to avoid eye contact, it was already too heard keeping your tears from falling, and you knew one more look at the eyes you loved so much would break you.

there was silence for a few minutes, but in your eyes, a few minutes was an eternity long. the fact that he was debating the question you left was heartbreaking already. but you weren’t afraid to fight; you had come to japan prepared for the worst-case scenario, and getting to know satoru up close, you believed you had a fair chance at winning.

“–im giving you twenty-four hours to leave this country. if you don’t–you know what’s to happen.” this had you lifting your head in the speed of lightning, eyes wide mouth agape, you could only watch as gojo satoru left your shared house without sparing you a single glance.

he was oblivious to how he carried your heart out the door when he left you stranded in the middle of the kitchen.

it was an hour after your discussion, and you were still in the same spot he left you. still standing, still too paralyzed to move. the reality of things being over was just starting to weigh on you, but you knew you had to start packing because not only gojo; but england was going to be after you too.

you failed the mission. and you didn’t plan on returning back.

war is a slippery slope. what would you do? becomes what will you do? becomes what have you done?

looking around the now-empty home, you built with gojo; tears started falling from your hallow eyes. so many memories resurfaced in one moment; it was overwhelming. the day your first saw him when he was trying to crack a joke at nanami to get him to smile. or the time he first asked you out admitting he had found you a force to be reckoned with and how you had managed to bewitch him. the day you accepted, the day he made you see stars behind your eyes from pure bliss. the day he proposed living together. the day you danced around the living room with his obnoxious music playing at the back, head laid against his chest humming to the melodies. how you felt like a family when you saw him and the students act so close–

how long has it been? how long have you been pushing your actual task behind the lies and excuses you fed yourself. was that person you? the ever so stone-hearted y/n breaking her facade for the boy with infinity.

my god, my god, whose performance am i watching? how many people am i? who am i? what is this space between myself and myself?

it was all getting too much. when had you fallen down the hole to never leave again? should you be grateful, or should you curse the fact that despite all misfortune, you can still feel love and unearthly love but still for earthly objects?

finally getting a grip on yourself, your feet moved down the hall to your shared bedroom, and without wasting a glance at his side, you quickly started to pack your stuff to leave japan.

gojo wasn’t doing well himself. he thought he had finally found true happiness after all the loss he had to go through, and it all turned out to be nothing but an act built on lies. after he left your shared home, he had wandered around in the streets with no destination in mind and the cold chilly air blowing past him. his blindfold was still off, the moon making his crystal blue eyes shine even more, still with unshed tears at the brink of it—a dam about to break.

he knew he lied to you when he told you he didn’t love you anymore and only hoped the years of the facade he had to keep up was enough to fool you into believing his words when in fact, it was the very opposite. he loved you so much–so much that it broke him when he read the document that was mailed to you weeks ago. you and him were an inseparable duo–the strongest and his tamer. the boy with the infinity and the girl who held him down with gravity.

upon wandering the streets for god knows how many hours, he found himself in front of a riverbank. the light of the moon was radiating, creating a painting of a million stories for the broken boy. but while being so engrossed with the view in front of him, he had failed to feel someone creeping up behind him; with his infinity down, nanami was able to lend a hand on his shoulder. “i’m assuming you talked with her.” he broke the silence.

his silenced gaze worried his friend; they promised to keep it between themselves. while nanami believed letting the kids know would be the better choice, gojo was adamant about keeping your good image in front of them. he knew how much they adored you, and he would hate to be the one to break it to them. “i did.”

“and what choice did you go with?”

“i gave her a full day to leave, and if otherwise–” he gulped down the lump forming in his throat, “–if otherwise, i told her i would fight her.” tears now slowly starting to trail down his porcelain skin, an odd view to see for his foes.

“you did the right thing.” nanami tried his best to console him in a way. this was a new image for him; he never saw gojo break down like this; the last time he saw his best friend (he would never admit that to his face, though) like this was when he had to kill getou, even then he had managed to keep up the aloof facade. but he knew his feeling for you ran much, much deeper than that. he has witnessed what your companionship had done to him. it was what pieced him back, and now what broke him.

it’s been years since you left, but you were back now. back in japan after two years of staying away, traveling to many different countries, on the runaway from the higher-ups in england. you would’ve preferred your return to be on good news and such, but unfortunately, it was the opposite. your friends back in england had informed you about how they planned on ending gojo’s life once in for all today with a team of experienced sorcerers, and although you wanted to keep away from trouble as much you could, you couldn’t let the man you love die.

with your hood covering your face, you walked down the streets of shibuya, the once war zone that led to many disastrous events in the past years under your feet. you heard about everything; the culling game and the capture of gojo satoru, thank god those were all in the past now, and everyone was well–except nanami, and the new had broken you. just like gojo and the students, he also had a special place in your heart, his calm attitude always grounding you. you don’t think his last thoughts of you were good–considering what gojo had told you the night you left, but still, his death was unexpected news to you.

you didn’t know how you were going to approach the topic; there was a big chance they’d attack you the second you entered their line of vision, not allowing you to voice out the news–but it was worth the try nonetheless. taking your hood down, you entered a cafe; the need for caffeine after the long flight back here was strong, the anxiousness and stress not allowing you to sleep. what you didn’t expect was seeing the three first years–now third years–you loved so much sitting in the cafe chatting idly, not noticing you. you wanted to keep it that way, but on your way out, a feminine voice called out your name. “y/n sensei? is that you?”

your steps halted, freezing in your stop. the confrontation was inevitable now, causing a stir in a crowded place was the last thing you wanted so you turned around to see nobara staring at you with wide eyes, megumi and itadori behind shocked just as her. what you didn’t expect was her running straight at your engulfing you with wide arms; a big grin plastered on her face. “where were you! you disappeared out of nowhere, and gojo sensei wouldn’t tell us anything! we were really worried; you left me alone with these two idiots–you know you’re the only one who understands my pain–”

“–i’m sorry, i had to go on an abroad mission, and it took too long. it’s good to be back.” you hugged her back tightly, still trying to process the new information she threw at you. gojo had lied, and that made you question everything you believed in. had he also lied about his love for you back then? but that was for later–for now, you wanted to cherish this news and spend time with your favorite students, learn about their well-being and their stories.

“come on, let’s sit shall we? we got lots to catch up on.”

it was now midnight, and you were waiting somewhere in the middle of the forest for your dreaded meeting with gojo. you managed to convince the kids into telling gojo to meet you here without actually letting him know it was you. they were excited, to say the least, talking about how you and he were the epitomai of soulmates, two pieces meant to find each other, filling up the gaping hole you both had. you were very nervous, fidgeting in your spot, hiding behind the tree waiting for him to arrive, and when you heard footsteps nearing you–you knew this was it, heart pounding like crazy.

walking out of your hiding spot, you slowly made your way over to him, hands stiff at your sides anticipating his reaction. “gojo.” he looked at you, blindfold on this time. still, you could see his displeasure from how his body stiffened at your voice, looking at you with a straight face. “what’re you doing here? i thought i told you to leave.” you sighed, walking closer to him, “i know, and i am going to leave again, but before that, i need to tell you something–” you were cut off by the powerful shake of the ground, throwing you off balance resulting in you falling to the ground.

behind you were your old friends from england, standing tall and mighty together–a force to be reckoned with; you were once one of them, but alas, that was the past. “thanks you leading us straight to him y/n.” elizabeth smirked looking at your fallen state, “you made things a whole lot easier for us.” she continued. looking back at gojo, you were surprised to see his hands locked in some type of chain. how did they manage to get past his infinity–unless he didn’t have it on in the first place. did let his guard down once he saw you? why would he do that?

“no, no, no– leave him alone, elizabeth! i swear to god i’ll rain hell upon all of you!” you stood up desperately trying to leave the makeshift cage your friend had put you in when a sudden idea came to you. it was risky, but it would save him, and that–that was all you needed, your purpose of coming here in the first place.

“lover boy is being quite over there. what is it? cat got your tongue?” she was taunting you and definitely enjoying it too. walking closer to you, she neared your face while the others were beside gojo, “you’re both fools believing you guys could be together in the first place, that’s how it works–” she was cut off by the stomp of your foot on the ground lifting a piece of rock–the one gojo was on, up to the air, away from your ex-friends. if you couldn’t save yourself, you could at least save him; apologize for your past mistakes.

from where you were, you couldn’t do much, but you used all your might to send rock flying in the air towards them meanwhile keeping gojo away from them. your cursed technique was called upon the tainted sorrow, the ability to manipulate gravity, and it was unrivaled in europe. you trained too much to reach where you were, the strongest just like gojo, but even the strong can fall, and all it takes is the blink of an eye.

you were on the ground again, but this time blood pouring from your insides, a deadly piercing through your abdomen. while you were so engrossed with trying to keep gojo safe, you hadn’t realized he was already off the piece of rock fighting the rest. and he had made the mistake of underestimating them, resulting in the struggle. but that distraction was enough for elizabeth to pierce the cursed knife through you.

one second you were on the ground; the next, you were in someone’s arms. looking up, you were met with the crystal blue eyes you had grown to love staring right back at yours. this reminded you of the moments where you used to lay on his chest, hands tangled in his snow-white hair, his hands keeping you tight against him, eyes staring at each other with nothing but love. how unfortunate things weren’t that way now. you bleeding onto his hands which hopelessly applied pressure to your wound in hopes of saving you, his blindfold now off, tears slowly caressing his face. it was a sight for the eyes. you lifted your hand up to cup his cheek, imprinting a red hand mark right where you touched him, “satoru–”

“save your breath, i called for shoko; she’ll be here any minute, and we can save you–” you silenced him with your thumb on his lips, “satoru, this was inevitable, even if you save me now, they’ll still be after me. it’ll be a never-ending cycle.”

“no, i can keep you safe, y/n. remember? it’s us against the world, baby. always has been and always will be.” he kissed your forehead, still keeping you close. his eyes were shut tight; he could feel your consciousness slipping away and knew he couldn’t save you. but can’t a man hope? and as you uttered your last words, body temperature turning cold, breathing stopping, he knew right then and there this was where he lost it all. this was how he lost the light of his world, in his own hands, between his arms.

“for what it’s worth, i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard.” and he knew those words would haunt him for an eternity. follow him wherever he went. the ghost of you will always be with him, never leaving. you will hold him down by gravity with just your soul. yet he still wanted to curse the gods for taking you away from him, his fresh breath of air, his anchor.

your love was strong, but the timing was wrong, and love decided that you both didn’t belong.

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