#I always forget about tags

[illicitsandbagging]

Hmm… possible tw: The neck makeup kinda looks like scars a little bit. Anyway.

Fuck it. Selfies.

Oh! Edit: got the neck makeup idea from the twitch streamer Unholeh, and honestly I hadn’t figured out how to experience gender euphoria as a completely genderless person but uhh this worked ayy. Gonna be upset if I find out this is somehow problematic tbh

[lemongogo]

life of regret

[redmeansdead]

i was out today sitting staring at pigeons and a kid was scooting around in circles and said hello to me, and then started saying hi or making a face or a noise every time he went past me. it was really cute, and then he stopped and asked me if I was a boy or a girl and I said “does it matter?” and he replied “I don’t know.” and then immediately started telling me about his electric scooter

[trickstersaint]

an aromantic person is someone who (fill in the blank here) // april 10 2024

[potatobugz]

objects loving objects baby!!!!

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[sartorially]

what iiiiiis your fav canon ship tori? from homestuck

Always gonna be the Meowrails. Forever, forever, forever. Throughout time & space, they will be silly.

[welcometogrouchland]

♫ I do what I want/Crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun/I don't need anything from anyone ♫

(ID in Alt) you guys ever think about your own posts and get upset?? Anyway Damian Wayne I love you I'm so sorry your life is like that

[tigitaldurtle]

ah erm. first fully illustrated piece since like...? well i guess it's technically only been just over a month aha aha. but it's Staniel! hooray! [openly weeping]

first time ever participating in @stanuary and this was fun! hopefully i can keep this energy up LOL

Week 1 - Mindscape

[sigsfigs]

let's dance

close up of them........... theyre soooo super cute to meeeee v_v)) i love you bisexuals of color............. i love them too much i think fabian deserves to be with a sweet passionate girl who loves him for who he is and not go through messy toxic situationships anymor e wuhhhhh

[cometshift]

[ID: art of subspace from phighting as a child, walking hand in hand with a tall figure who is meant to represent blackrock's leader. they are both silhouetted in black against a white, snowy background. subspace looks happy.]

and i held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me

[romanbridgers]

another hot take but i really don't think tommy's "my attention?" was him thinking buck has feelings for eddie. tommy thinks buck was jealous that he was getting excluded from the friend group, because he comes to clear the air about causing bad blood and even says "[eddie] can have more than one friend." tommy doesn't fully realize what's really going on until buck says "... 'cause trying to get your attention has been exhausting," and it dawns on him that buck's jealousy wasn't about getting excluded from eddie and tommy's friendship but about eddie jeopardizing tommy's time (additionally, buck's "i guess" isn't meant to be noncommittal; he's realizing in the moment that it's true, that it really was about tommy. the way he says it feels like it's a revelation to even him). remember, buck reached out to tommy at some point prior to the events of 7x04 for the tour, but was never actually interested in leaving the 118. it was absolutely a ploy to get closer to tommy. but eddie interrupts them and pulls tommy away from buck, and buck spirals. the main issue is that buck has no idea what his feelings are doing, so he latches on to the most likely explanation to him (with further context clues that indicate that's not what it's really about) until that moment between buck and tommy in the loft. basically buck's got a crush he doesn't know how to deal with so he makes it everybody's problem.

[x-fag]

got way too carried away on this one. sorry if its bad i was under The Influence

even the reynolds got something to say

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 8

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

[deoidesign]

Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between

[tubbytarchia]

I swear to god 99% of people watching WL forgot who won SL. Put some respect on his name