#I also don't feel like being productive
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FNAFFFFF
(or something idk I was bored)
For the record all character designs here are 50% from memory and 50% stylized pls don't tell me to kys I'm aware they don't look like this thank you 💕
God they look shitty. Anyways—
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#I'm experiencing boredom#and#I also don't feel like being productive#and this is the result#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf fanart#freddy fazbear#fnaf bonnie#fnaf chica#fnaf foxy#toy chica#fnaf puppet#fnaf marionette#mangle#funtime foxy#not godzilla related this is the end#we're all gonna die#im spiraling into insanity#don't ask idk either
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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Hiiii I saw you say you have Notes on your Remus and Janus designs 👀👀?
Could we see/hear some tidbits?
FOR SURE !! Here's what the original doodles for their designs look like, first off, (I know you didn't ask for Virgil but I did these three at the same time)
When I drew this I had just finished an exam and had to wait another hour until I could leave the classroom, so I wrote down enough notes that I had to flip the page instead:
Virgil:
- Virgil has light brown hair that he dyes black (badly). It is essential that the dye job look like shit. It looks artificial, his roots are showing, there's patches where the color didn't take, etc etc.
- He also has blue eyes, which I decided on mostly because it makes it even more clear that his hair isn't naturally black.
- He wears earrings, but his ears aren't actually pierced — they're fake little little clip-on things.
- He wears black nail polish at all times, but it's always chipped because he gets the cheapest stuff he can get his hands on.
- His hair (especially his bangs) get very long at times because he gets too socially anxious to go to the hairdresser. Back in middle school, he used to have Janus cut them for him (Remus could have done a better job but trusting him with scissors would have been a mistake). Now he mostly cuts it off by himself — it looks about as good as his dye job.
- Virgil's purple hoodie is a leftover from Remus' fashion design endeavors that Remus thought didn't look weird enough.
Janus:
- He has naturally strawberry blonde hair. The length is very important to him — he started growing it towards the end of middle school. (He allows Remus to experiment with hairdos sometimes as long as he doesn't cut anything off. I need to draw that sometime)
- I'm not entirely settled on his eye color. I know at least one of his eyes is a very pretty brown, but I have half a mind to give him a yellow glass eye for his left side — I'm not sure it'd make any logistic sense for his situation, though
- He got his ears actually pierced when he was 16.
- He also may or may not have a forked tongue. Not sure how I'd ever be able to show that off — but if he does have one, then Remus definitely was the one to encourage him to do it.
- His fashion style was definitely influenced by being around Remus (who may have used him as a mannequin/dummy because he's small.) so much. Remus also attempted to make clothes for him, but Janus is very fancy and picky, so he doesn't wear those clothes very often (though he might accessorize with stuff Remus made for him occasionally).
Remus:
- He has naturally very dark hair. He uses temporary/surface level dyes a lot, but if he's using permanent or semi-permanent dyes, he's usually limiting himself to the grey streak — it's kind of a sample strand, since it's already bleached. He 100% copied his hairstyle from Roman's.
- He (and Roman, of course) has greenish blue eyes.
- Janus paid for him to get his ears (and eyebrows) professionally pierced because otherwise he was just going to do it himself with a sewing needle.
- He has a lot of very shitty stick-and-poke tattoos he made/makes on himself. They're almost always hidden by his outfits.
- Speaking of which, Remus makes most of his outfits costumes himself. The quality of the work may vary, but they are always way too over-the-top for casual wear, because he stands out anyway, so... in for a penny, right. (As I said in the tags of a post: he is very creative and has no shame or social anxiety at all, so he had his whole aesthetic ("overdramatic green") figured out by the time he was 13)
- He also has SH scars, but, again — they're hidden by his outfits 99% of the time. He's a slut who never shows an inch of skin
#their design go in order of intensity Virgil → Janus → Remus#virgil likes to express himself but is too chicken to do anything too extreme so he's limited to softcore emo#janus is definitely fancier than most but he wears stuff i still definitely see every day at my uni#(i see people wearing corsets regularly at my uni idk what other people's experiences are. English litt major in a non-English country...)#(for those who don't know that's a gay as fuck major)#and then Remus looks like he's in the middle of a stage production every single day. with makeup to match#OH this is somewhat of a college AU ! Roman is also there and Remus' class does costumes for Roman's occasionally#Roman does theater and Remus does visual arts (design major/fashion minor bc there was no fashion major)#Janus and Patton are philosophy majors and of course Virgil is a psychology major#and then we have Logan in biochemical ingeneering for obvious reasons.#i have so much lore sorry for rambling .#anyway they keep a lot of their original designs because it just fits them#BUT i needed to include virgil having a shitty hairdo/dye and etc because he is. SUCH a try-hard in my mind.#emo sure. but he looks wannabe emo. it's Essential. he's fake ! he wants to fit in! with the gay kids sure but he still wants to fit in!#it's very clear that his hair is dyed because it's very clear that he is a wannabe. it is so important to me.#also the tidbit about him not being able to go to the hairdresser. is ALSO SO IMPORTANT. he pretends the shitty hairstyle is intentional.#even his signature hoddie is someone else's leftovers. He Borrows. From A Lot Of Places. but he doesnt have a real identity of his own yet.#you wouldnt guess while reading these tags but im actually way more passionate avout Janus and Remus than i am about virgil#it's just that i project onto virgil so so so much .#anyway SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE AGAIN. I KEEP DOING THAT#ask#idrawgaystffs#sanders sides#lbau#drawing#traditional#rant#do i character tag this. i dont feel like feel like character tagging this#OH AND thank you so much for asking !!! as you can tell i really like talking . about them
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sometimes in the fandom you see some art that is SO beautifully made but goes SO against the grain of how you perceive the drawn character(s) like I want to reblog it so much because it's so visually gorgeous and the artist is amazing and deserves to know this but I'll fucking die before letting that particular interpretation of the character(s) anywhere near my blog
#personal#don't take it as vagueposting#it's about A LOT of art I've seen over the years and I just got reminded of some of it#fandoms in general tend to take the characterization of nuanced characters in certain very specific direction#that irritates me to an absolutely unreasonable degree#and I don't want to rain on anyone's parades#it's fandom and it's for fun there is no way to enjoy your fictional guys wrong#so I mostly keep silent about it#but given sufficient time pretty much every fandom drifts into the state where I can't engage with it#without seeing red like three posts into the tag#even the art tag#and I feel so weird sitting there with my different perception#pretty isolated#which is self-imposed and not exactly bad but still weird#luckily I have some close friends that I can still have in-depth discussions abt the media and characters with#but online fandoming eventually gets blood-boiling rather than fulfilling#which is especially idk weird?#given that I'm mostly drawing fandom stuff#and I kinda SHOULD be interacting with the fandom#and I'd love to have talks of those fictional guys#they are great guys and I love to talk about them#but then I poke my nose into the fandom and my blood gets boiling#it's weird being a fandom artist outside of the fandom is what I'm saying xD#especially once you get used to the boost of motivation and productivity that comes from being in the fandom#and I kinda miss that but also well nothing to be done about that#don't mind me and sorry for the rant
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if you mock children's theatre i hate you 🫶
#one of my favourite shows that i've seen was a production of fiddler on the roof junior#the girl playing hodel was legitimately incredible#and even when children's theatre productions are legitimately not good you should have some fucking sympathy#they're human they make mistakes#and for all you know it could be their first experience with theatre#don't ruin it for them#my first time doing theatre i genuinely sucked but i loved it and kept doing it#and now i'm at the point where i'm looking at majoring in musical theatre#somebody's first show not going well doesn't mean they won't improve#especially if you don't make them feel like shit about not being perfect#also i'm turning 18 this year and i've made so many mistakes onstage#everyone has bad shows#regardless of age#it's not uniquely worthy of mockery for kids to also have bad shows
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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.
#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way#but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes#they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love#umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would#have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming#also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually#Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus#lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women#So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet#and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much#we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism#and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm#And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER#that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All#Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded#Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like#wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this#and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like#we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen#and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie#and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals#families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains#iwwv#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series
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Anyway this might be the hottest take I've ever posted on here but I just want to say that if Karla Sofía Gascón wins an oscar for Emilia Pérez it should NOT be celebrated. "oh but she's the first openly trans woman to be nominated!! That's historic and very cool!!!" yeah it's historic or whatever but the movie she's in is actively offensive and repulsive towards Mexican people (and many other Latam countries by extension as well, but mainly Mexico) and pushes transmedicalism and has an all around weird understanding of transness and is also weirdly positive about Israel????? And also if you have eyes and watch it you'll realize that 1) the director or the publishers or whoever the fuck MOST DEFINITELY bought out the events it's nominated in, because jesus fucking christ, the only way for this shitstain to be nominated for any serious award is plain old corruption, and 2) her performance is just okay. Not bad, but just okay. I suppose she Is the best actress in this, but that's not the highest bar in the world.
Also, her statements. She's literally gone on record actively diminishing Latin American people's criticisms about it and also implying those who hate the movie do so because she's in it (so using the transphobia card to deflect EXTREMELY valid criticism, very classy Miss Gascón) instead of the other myriad issues it has... Have I mentioned the fact that she's a Spaniard, claiming to be "mexican by adoption" because she's gone there for work a couple of times, thinking that she knows better than the entire country of Mexico and its natives? Do you see the goddamn issue here????
Listen, I would be lying if I said I have nothing against this woman, because as a Colombian who's had relatives disappear and never be found during FARC raids and is also worried sick about a part of my family living in danger zones now that guerrillas are starting to occupy towns again, the message of Emilia Pérez and the sheer arrogance that most of the people who've been at the front of its development, Gascón included, are actively offensive and so enraging it makes me want to cry out of frustration if I think about it for too long. So you could very well accuse me of being biased. But let's be real - objectively, this would NOT be a deserved victory, and glorifying Gascón's performance when it hinges on the complete misrepresentation of very serious Mexican issues that actively harm people TO THIS DAY is just wrong, dare I say even disgusting. She does not deserve the award just like Emilia Pérez doesn't deserve ANYTHING else, period. Trans people deserve better. SHE deserves better, even. Let her win when she gives a killer performance in an actually good movie, not here.
#This post might get me blocked on several fronts but I just HAVE to say this.#Can we please stop scraping the bottom of the barrel and being happy every. single time. queer people are decorated for things#they don't actually deserve#I feel like by this point we can do a lot better than that#Anti Emilia Perez#Luke rants#also Mexicana por adopción??? Nah fuck that noise. Do you know who GETS to claim that? People like Natalia Jiménez.#YOU are just a poser just like every single person in this GOD FORSAKEN production and the fact that you DARE imply your WHITE SPANISH ass#has a Grain of Latin American Culture in it is INSANE.#The fact that people are actively applauding her makes me want to bang my head against a wall#TRANS PEOPLE CAN ALSO BE BIGOTED AND WRONG I HATE ALL THE BOOTLICKING
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Feel free to ignore this, yapping into the void makes me feel better
Bros... The day I had went from good, to eh, to wtf
Even my own body tried to kill me today what /hj
#Vent warning#Because complaining makes me feel better :P#My luck strikes again....#I knew I had too many good things happening too many times in a row without back falls UAGHHHHH#RELEASE MEEEE I DON'T WANT THE BAD LUCK DAYS PLEASEEEEEE#Also legit feared for my life for a good 20 minutes but I'm okay#Stupid ah went into shock seeing blood where there shouldn't have been#Feinted in the shower but didn't get a concussion when I hit my head yippie#I literally felt like the whole world was upside down when I fell#I am so smart I turned off the water before blacking out hehe#also immediately went to unlock the door when I woke up#Shout out to the bestie/roommate for talking about anything else to help me recuperate and not freaking out about my state#accidentally flashed her oops#Almost feinted again at seeing the blood still appearing but I pulled through like a G#Also what I mean by everything trying to get me today#Choked on water like 3 times throughout the day#The room divider almost completely fell on me#The PMS PAINS#And TMI body issues that caused the blood yay#Said issues causing discomfort all day and last night uaghhh only 3 hours of sleeeeeep#Class wise and productivity wise twas a good day it was smooth and I had fun drawing#My overall safety 💥💥💥💥💥 uogh#Honestly i'm surprised I don't hurt anywhere from falling#Praise be that I dropped myself on my head repeatedly as a child#I'm not gonna die we chilling#It's not that serious of issues I've been through way worse#Going back to being happi and drawing now it's all in the void#cw blood#tw blood#Vent
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ok, so i just listened to "loom" by imagine dragons, and i'm sorry but i only like three and a half song
#i get it it's experimental but honestly this album is so weird#like first of all why does it only have nine songs?#second of all first half of this album is a trash#i'm sorry but that's how i feel#and they used to be my favourite band but i just have to be honest i don't like the new sound#first song that i actually genuinely liked was in your corner#then gods don't pray because dan's voice sounds really amazing in this one and i love the production#and don't forget me made me cry#especially the “i miss you when you're gone so i wrote you one last song”#we all know who this is about#fire in these hills is also good when it comes to the lyrics and i love the voice crack when he sings “i don't think that i'm strong enough”#and i love the bridge because the production reminds me so much of their old songs#BUT overall i don't like production on this track that much that's why i said previously that i only liked three and a half song#idk#i know nobody asked for this but i wanted to write it anyway so#sorry for being a hater#they used to be my whole world but#things change i guess#imagine dragons#loom#but sincerely can you hear me?*
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Having fun, more and more! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Unicorn Tails#Dangersoft#Villainsona#Just Desserts#True Villainy AU#Okay fine I'll talk about the really silly fixation I accidentally fell into lol#It's all Jello's ISaT stream's fault they mentioned Wall Day and I got curious!#Actually it was Jello reciting Will's line as the mad cultist in a kids' unicorn game that got me interested lol he just went all out#And it really is a kids' game! Like yeah some of the lore is dark and ominous and weird but it's genuinely just a nice unicorn game#And the character customization is cute and you can buy a spider hat! I want a spider hat#I'm fully onboard at this point lol I intend to buy it for realsies and play as an alicorn and go hunting for the Estranged Rabbit#Dangersoft is great of course <3 Neon green horse love that for her#Some happies <3 I've been quite happy lately :D Big Loves yay <3#If there is an article of clothing I can hide in I will take the opportunity every time lol#Regularly hiding in hoods and collars - it just feels nice!#More Charm more cutes <3 I've had the idea of her cutting her hair for S3 since she was created but I still don't Actually have anything lol#She's just cute and I love her! She's adorable no matter what she looks like#I think I was thinking something along the lines of her long hair being used against her in her True Villain form#Like how it's normally up and ice cream shaped but Kaiein wanted it down and it gave her a different look#But short it can't look like that :) She's always light and fluffy if it's short! I like it <3#Speaking of - her candle wings popping out from her Kaiein wings!#It's weird to see her with her hair down and glasses on in that context haha#I do like the symbolism of dark inky wings being cut through with fire and light :) Still drippy tho lol#And rounding off with a Just Desserts bee <3 I posted that one JD Pet Bee a while ago but I think bees are also wild animals#They're important for sweets production and pollination! Fruit-based sweets need them!#I personally really love bees I think they're the cutest but I also get really stressed about buzzing :'D#Does Not help that my hair is a colour they're attracted to so they come up right next to my head to investigate agh#So Charm is the same! Loves bees! They're wonderful and important and cute! But the buzzing...#She's being very brave tho <3
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Do you know what's really annoying?
When you call someone or something not human, people always assume you mean less than human. Which is stupid because of the majority of the time, I don't mean less than human or even more than human, I mean different from human. But the average person's tendency is to put humanity up on a pedestal as greater, which in their mind, makes different from humanity inherently lesser than humanity. Which is stupid and annoying and I hate it.
#something something Dame Aylin#like#there's literally no productive way to discuss this idea because so much of her arc revolves around being dehumanized by everyone#but she is still very much Not Human#the other thing about this discourse is that we're literally in a fantasy world#so you could go “of course she's not human she's an aasimar”#completely missing the point#because the other characters#the elves and tieflings and gnomes and whatnot#really only have cosmetic and cultural differences#but are still functionally human#while Aylin is not#I literally don't know how to explain this but I'm otherkin so I think I'm qualified to speak on this#also it is absolutely criminal that there are no monsterfucker Isobel fics on ao3#also I'm tagging this as#therian#otherkin#feel free to ignore the rest of the tags
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"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that
#joking but like. am I wrong though#yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell#except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem#I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning.#and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me.#I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it#this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think#mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction#but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face#anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops#also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend??#well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie#really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level#mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child#but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful#oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships#ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS#literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them#there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine#guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry#narcissus's echoes#vent
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i love trigun stampede as an adaptation and i always do my best to engage with it as its own piece of art vs. as a reflection of trigun maximum (bc imo that's setting it up for failure!!!) But it always baffles me when people try to act like stuff like vash or wolfwood's new designs aren't explicit changes to their characterisation haha
#rora rants#twitter giving me heartburn today sorry about this#i don't feel a need to tag this with character tags i just need to shout into the void#but just came off a tweet where someone screencapped a bunch of manga shots of vash with his hair down to say that#his design in stampede isn't a 'new design'#except that a he has an undercut now that he didnt in trimax but also b like#vash gelling/spiking up his hair is an intentional character detail. and we know he uses product bc water makes his hair deflate in the#emilio the puppetmaster arc#so what does this tell us. vash spends hours every morning working out and then dressing up. there's an intentionality#we see him don the red coat and the spiked hair every time he decides to step back into being vash the stampede#at the beginning of trimax after the home arc at the end of the manga#vash styles his hair that way as a conscious choice probably because he takes pride in his appearance and thats how he chooses to look#so to have him wear the red coat and have his hair down is fine and i wouldnt try and criticise studio orange for it#but it IS a characterisation change#and i just think trying to argue that it's not is really... silly. it's silly#do i think he looks better with the spiked hair yes#do i prefer what that says about his characterisation also yes#i prefer vash's writing in trimax pretty much a thousand percent#but there's no love lost for tristamp vash either#i just augh sighs#i understand loving trigun stampede and not wanting to see it criticised but at least be logical about it hahahha
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I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.
First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)
Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)
I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)
#this counts as a pride post because I am very gay for her#her uneven shoulders and stray eyebrow hair (like some d.bz characters <3) have captivated me#anyways sorry for being so wordy in the post... I will be wordier in the tags! sorry. feel free to skip these I'm just gonna ramble#while drawing these I realised I was accidentally doing a shitty a.b.a cosplay: eyebags. hairband. stitches and what Ishiwatari would call#morbid pallor LMAO. I admit I put on the hairband because of her <3 but the rest was unintentional. I hadn't worn one in yrs cause I don't#*didn't like how my hair looks w it plus felt kinda rigid but.. my current hair w a hairband is growing on me? prob not gonna wear it outsid#but thank u a.b.a for making me retry it <3. also the head feeling is kinda cool. though mine is of a hard material n I'm p sur hers is soft#anyways. I have one of this year's most important assignments/appointments tomorrow. wish me luck#after that I'll still have to go do productive adulting but I'll be able to sleep better n have energies n time to draw stuff n gaming#til that happens stuff is super hectic in all senses so drawing this goober is my escape valve. uh dunno what else. I'm tired#also oh I wanna take a moment to say thsnk u to all the people that like my art of her (and art in general but 95% art I upload her is her#LMAO) I don't wanna get parasocial but I do recognise your usernames and how u keep up with my kilometric tags. you make my day sometimes.#also huh my art (style?) got different lately. Idk how I feel. but drawing dif stuff is cool#wtf did I catch up the habit of drawing each hairstrand. my hand dislikes it. IMAGINE IF I DREW MILL.IA INSTEAD AAAAA#a.b.a#art tag2b named#edit for better term: thank youuu. may the homunculus obsession unite us all <3
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Why do i always relate to anyhow repressed male characters. I'm just a teenage bisexual girl but clive durham i get you on a spiritual level pls never forget that.
#clive durham#maurice#maurice 1987#it's not even only necessarily being a part of the lgbtq+#(i do not believe clive actually became straight bro's just lying to himself lol)#it's also the turmoiling feeling of being different and impending doom throughout the entirety of life#his nervous breakdown at 16? iconic#bro lives in his own mind like have you seen him yapping? that's me#also closing off from people hurting himself and others making them think that he doesn't care?? lmaoo shut upp bro#and him wanting to keep maurice to himself only even when he's not his anymore? ok toxic attachement issues#just admit you're unhappy and lonely and you have no one else to trust#blah blah blah#was he an unempathetic unempathetic asshole sometimes? yes. it's okay i'm an unempathetic bitch sometimes.#boo do you have a fear of intimacy#boo do you fear people might find out you're the opposite of what they expect you to be#so you just play pretend until you don't know where's the real you and you have regrets lol#do you feel like you hate people the closest to you while having a crisis#i know clive is a product of the society and family he lives in but cmon a character so complex is really easy to relate to#also hugh grant is so fine i hope he respawns so we can be together
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trying to say things about the bsol finale & how it has these little twists about what you don't necessarily expect for these roles but would you believe it i'm like i can't use my [just saying some shit] ability i'm pressed about wanting it to be more coherent & verbalizing doesn't even really happen if i don't have the [just saying some shit] wind in my sails But trying to say One Thing, how about the little twist like the miracle banana gets being that he himself lives, vs his emotional resolution that he would have died to help the musician, even as the musician is like no bestie you're good, even as the audience may expect & approve of even dying from funny little second banana guy who may even be supposedly taken as Superfluous now that thee man & thee woman have reunited (but it was always queerer than that) like. more resolution to our themes that that very second banana is doing just fine vs that the hero is, more classic iconisiquisms
#good enough And Post#bsol#what a bummer if he Had died like. & that would not have been Surprising b/c like ''ah bummer but sure of course.#perhaps even proper & fitting'' like no [side characters are less of a person than main characters] here#nor certainly funny little guys < hardass main hero romantic lead guys who don't wanna cuddle their boy but Will die & kill w/o him#also fun that mitb is that like big part of [bmc most Known / bway produced iconis musical] but where its origins indeed are like yeah#Now it might be the first/sole thing someone knows about bmc but when this was a niche novel debuting experience; mitb existing#could be more so perhaps confusing / surprising like why are we having this moment w/this second banana character to hear all about how he#feels? b/c the second banana deserves that. & then thinking of like something that makes bmc unwieldy from a potential perspective being#like oh there's too much time spent on these side characters vs the protagonist. well any/every element / idiosyncrasy / Choice of a show#can be argued as like alas this is a roadblock to longer runs bigger productions w/e other measure of success; bitch....#let's get you some fruit (bananas (second)) (queerness (all over the place))#& i had a real literal fruit banana earlier i am metabolizing into queerness as i type....#general vibe has been a bit intense lately; not conducive to my Just Saying Some Shit. but not Not necessarily wanting to#though not that it even comes Peak Easily with the wind in my sails / less of an intention to be a bit more coherent than usual#saying any things taking plenty of time / effort / really ofc still self editing along the way even in incoherent just saying sm shit mode#no such thing as really Just xyzing at all; certainly not if to any degree it's some instruction / not what you already do all the time#anyway tl;dr it Would be more expected like ah rip banana :( but instead we get the miracle of banana does not die. thank fuck
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