#and i love the bridge because the production reminds me so much of their old songs

[pardonmydelays]

ok, so i just listened to "loom" by imagine dragons, and i'm sorry but i only like three and a half song

[forestdeath1]

Hopelessness

@prongsfoot-microfic

It turned out that this microfic is 1600 words long, so if it's more convenient for someone to read on AO3, here's the link.

It's jilypad.

---

Sirius kisses Lily’s belly, stretched by a muggle T-shirt with Black Sabbath on it, his gift. The air's filled with the light scent of jasmine from the open window, letting in the cool June breeze. Lily isn't really into Black Sabbath, but Sirius hopes the band's symbolism might somehow influence Harry’s musical taste, since he’s got no hope with Lily and James. As Lily recently said, she wears that T-shirt solely because it features a "handsome vocalist" who reminds her of Sirius.   Sirius is quite pleased with that outcome.

They're sprawled on a wide sofa under a soft blanket, Sirius snuggled up beside Lily. The quiet of the Potter home, only interrupted by the ticking of antique clocks, always puts Sirius in a peaceful state. Lily gently strokes her rounded belly, while Sirius, with his arm around her waist, draws patterns on her skin, occasionally leaving soft kisses in response to the baby's sharp kicks. James, sitting opposite in a battered chair once favoured by Fleamont, reads the newspaper, his eyes scanning the pages gloomily.

"Oh," Lily exhales lightly. "He's been kicking all day. Extra lively today."

"Harry," Sirius murmurs softly, amazed at the depth of feeling he has for a child not yet born. "My handsome, smart boy."

"When did you get so sentimental?" James asks, not looking up from his paper.

"Since you married this incredible woman and started your own amateur production of 'Tiny Humans.' Even my frostbitten heart had to defrost for the premiere."

"Oh, my love," Lily, smiling softly, reaches out to gently ruffle Sirius's hair, "sometimes I think, what if I'd married you instead of James? How much prettier would my child be?" Lily's light, carefree laughter makes Sirius smile.

"Hey," James perks up, pretending to be offended. "There’s a lot of Blacks. And only one of me. Harry's gonna have the most unique hair in all of Magical Britain."

"And the dullest sense of humour," Sirius shoots back, still focused on the belly, speaking in a teasingly sweet tone as if talking to Harry. "Hopefully, you’ve got a better one. You got a bit short-changed on the genes from one side, but I promise to teach you."

"At least my humour doesn’t make people want to off themselves," counters James.

"You adore my jokes, don't kid yourself."

"Haven't heard one yet."

Sirius flicks his middle finger at James, who just chuckles, then removes his glasses and rubs his nose bridge in mock exasperation.

"Everything alright?" Lily asks him, concern in her voice.

"Yeah," James replies, trying to mask the worry in his voice. "Just going to make some tea."

Rising from his chair and heading to the kitchen, James leaves a trail of unspoken thoughts behind him. Sirius watches him go, and Lily, with a soft sigh, shakes her head.

"He's like this all day. Lost in thoughts about the war. Sticks to me like glue. Fancy taking him out somewhere? Hit a pub? Even stay out all night. He needs to get out more. He can't keep guarding me from God knows what," Lily adjusts a stray lock of Sirius's hair, a simple, familiar gesture.

"Alright, but not tonight," Sirius responds tenderly, kissing Lily's belly one last time before gently running his hand over her soft skin and carefully standing up from the sofa to not disturb her.

"Patrol?"

"Yeah," Sirius glances at the old wall clock, "and I'm already late."

"Why don't you move in with us?" Lily stops him with the question she poses every month.

"Don’t start," Sirius says with a light reprimand. "I'd end up covered in old people's dust here, sipping teas and reading newspapers. Tea? Seriously? When was the last time I drank tea?"

Her laughter, bright and full, fills the room, reflecting off the warm glow of the candles. She could easily shift from a pensive mood to mirth, and really, it took nothing to make her laugh. Lily was always so light, Sirius adored that about her. Like an autumn maple leaf playfully dancing with the wind – always ready to soar at the slightest breeze.

"Come here," she extends her arms, and Sirius leans in, allowing Lily to plant a tender kiss on his lips. "I love you," she looks at him, her gaze filled with care and tenderness, "Be careful."

"You too," Sirius smiles and ruffles her hair. "Look after Harry."

Stepping into the hallway, leaving Lily resting on the sofa, Sirius grabs his jacket from the coat rack and pulls it on, whistling a tune he caught in some noisy muggle café.

"James! I’m off."

James peeks out from the kitchen, holding a pack of tea.

"Not staying for tea?" he asks, knowing the answer already.

Sirius isn't much for tea, yet James has been offering it to him for years. In an attempt to make the drink more appealing, he once even started spiking the tea with Firewhisky. That gimmick worked for a while, but soon not even Firewhisky could dispel Sirius's irritation with the whole tedious, monotonous process.

"No, got patrol."

James looks slightly disappointed, tosses the tea pack onto a table cluttered with books and newspapers, and approaches Sirius.

"Lily suggested we should hit a bar," Sirius mentions.

James shrugs, adjusting his glasses absently.

"I can't leave her alone. Every time I go on patrol, you know it’s torture for me. I keep thinking something might happen, that they might attack our home, and…"

"I know," Sirius cuts him off. "That’s why I’m not inviting you. Just passing on Lily’s words."

James gives a soft smile, tilting his head slightly.

"You’ll come over on Friday?" he asks.

"Yes."

"And stay the night?"

"Of course."

James nods and hugs Sirius, pressing his face to his neck. Sirius leans into his ear, kissing it and breathing in the scent of earthy moss and the morning forest. James's scent always carried the notes of their moonlit adventures, as if his skin had absorbed the essence of those nights. They stand in silence for a moment until the soft hum of an old radio playing a vintage jazz tune Lily adores drifts in from the living room.

"Everything will be alright, James, hear me?" Sirius whispers, probably a bit too roughly patting James on the head as his movements have grown more abrupt lately. "I promise. Everything will be alright. With Lily, with you, with Harry."

"Yes," James says, rubbing an eye then running a hand through his hair. "Of course. It'll be alright. With you too."

"I'm not that important."

"Don't talk like that," James responds in a strained voice.

"I’d do anything for you, whatever it takes," Sirius says in a matter-of-fact tone, as if they’re discussing a Christmas dinner menu, not talking about things people usually don’t say to each other when everything’s fine.

James steps back, looks up at Sirius, and smirks, chasing away the worried shadows from his face.

"Have I mentioned you’ve become sentimental?"

"I've spent too much time around a mushy sod like you," Sirius grins, shrugging. "Bad influence."

James laughs, shoving Sirius's shoulder then pulling him in close, as if wanting to hide away in Sirius's broad embrace.

"I love you, you idiot," he kisses him, fingers threading through Sirius’s hair, tousling it. "Don’t be late on Friday. Lily’s making your favourite blueberry pie."

"I won’t," Sirius breathes out huskily.

James nods, and Sirius steps out the door. The June air hits his face, a warm breeze flicking a lock of hair from his forehead. The scent of night flowers mingles with the smell of fresh paint – someone nearby decided to give their fence a fresh coat.

Sirius moves a few meters away, casting one last glance at the Potters' house. James stands in the doorway, leaning on one shoulder against the frame. Sirius catches his worried gaze and nods subtly in response.

A moment later, Sirius apparates, but James's troubled face lingers in his mind like an echo. Usually, James's face brings peace, but this time it leaves a quiet itch, a reminder that Sirius is missing something, yet can't quite grasp what it is.

The war makes everyone nervous, anxious, and lost, and Sirius knows better than to succumb to these draining sentiments. But seeing those feelings in James – the person who made Sirius believe that even in the coldest winter, there's an unbeatable summer living inside him – Sirius realizes things are grim.

Of course, Sirius will come over on Friday. Perhaps he'll stay for the weekend, and they'll spend it together, like old times, before the threat of war knocked so clearly on their doors. They'll wake up to a late breakfast in the garden, reminiscing about school under the rustling of green leaves and birdsong, and perhaps even making plans for the future where the war is just a distant memory—a future where Sirius already knows exactly how to raise Harry and what gifts to give him from the very first months of his life.

A future where they're together.

After breakfast, they'll apparate to the lake, where James will set up broom races, beating Sirius yet again.  Lily, always rooting for Sirius, will put on a theatrical display of disappointment and spend the day cheering him up, recounting for the hundredth time the tales of James's rare Quidditch misplays at Hogwarts—as if Sirius didn't already know each one by heart.

After dinner, James will suggest a game of wizard chess, and Lily will pick out a book to read aloud by the fireplace. Soon, she will head to bed early, as has become more common since she got pregnant, and James and Sirius will go out to the garden, lie on the grass, and spend the night forgetting all worries, remembering that it's moments like these for which they're fighting and ruthlessly suppressing the hopelessness that seeks to consume their souls.

[bisexualhobi]

exo - exist review

i just wanna start by saying that this comeback is the highlight of my year already. i did have high expectations because after all, this is exo and their discography is easily at the top of the entire industry... and for groups that debuted over a decade ago they're one of the last still standing, so after a 4 year old hiatus the expectations were high to say the least. did they manage to meet them? let's find out!

the title track deserves a whole paragraph so:

cream soda - a high paced r&b pop song with a luscious instrumental and a collection of high notes that flex the strengths of the group. it definitely packs a punch and i think it would benefit from getting a slower intro but even so, the song doesn't disappoint. it kinda reminds me of a maroon 5 song during their golden years and i think it's the perfect balance of "grown men r&b" and playfulness (coupled with less than subtle sexual innuendos about popping like a soda bottle this is a great evolution for exo, who have been known to always make pussy popping music but have struggled to shed the high school boys image sm is so fixated on giving them). rating: 9/10

regret it - literally straight out of the pcy1 vault and you can't convince me otherwise. soooo happy to hear an r&b jam straight out of the 90s since that is literally exo's blueprint. i love the production on this track because it has enough elements to keep it interesting and the chorus is super catchy. chanyeol takes the crown for me for obvious biased reasons but i love kyungsoo and jongdae's runs in this. rating: 10/10

hear me out - sounds much better like this. like now i get 100% the reasoning behind this song and the style it has. it's really such a chill vibe and a welcome breather after the one two punch of the previous songs. i feel like the prechorus and post chorus of this song could have been amped up way more and a breakdown for the bridge would've made it ten times more fun tho. rating: 9/10

random observation i noticed: the resting silences between songs are a tad too short for my liking. we need to let this marinate and sometimes it does feel like the album is sprinting towards the end.

private party - chanyeol opening the song AS HE FUCKING SHOULD. this beat is nasty... it's the perfect combination of exo's r&b sultry side and a hot sexy beat to shake ass to. it's just fun and good and takes you on a sonic ride from start to finish. i did expect the weeknd vibes from the title alone but i'm glad with the result here. rating: 10/10

cinderella - oh marz. oh you.... i knew exactly what the beat drop was gonna sound like from the second the song started and i'm not mad about it! this is another old school r&b infused serenade song while giving it a fresh modern style with the synth arrangements. taking a point off just because the mixing is too compressed and the synth takes over the landscape in an overbearing way (happens all the time with flume too so i get it but i feel like this could've been prevented here). rating: 9/10

no makeup - okay so the whore music run of this album from private party to no makeup is insane. we get it. these men fuck. they made sure to let us know they're in their 30s and it was about DAMN time. that post that's like they melted their dick and balls into a flashdrive and fucked the console in the recording studio.... yeah. the background harmonies are TOP TIER too but i didn't expect anything less from exo. props to jongdae, minseok and chanyeol cause they were working overtime layering these vocals. rating: 10/10

love fool - deadass was expecting this to be the slower snoozefest of the album... but exo are intent on making every track off this album COUNT. this is such a classic exo jam... every element of this song works in their favor. great melody, great instrumentals, great topline, great chorus. this is PURE quintessential exo. rating: 10/10

another day - this is good song! a great song even. my notes for this one just say "good song. really like it" it's just not something that stuck out to me enough to analyze it further. i think that's fine. the layering of vocals is once again great. i don't love the topline specially for the chorus (feels super nct 127 past their peak) but it's still a good song. rating: 8/10

let me in - this is their boyz ii men serve of the year. perfect closer. perfect slow ballad and i'm not a fan of those in the first place. definitely the vocal highlight of the album. that's all i can say. exo did it once again kids. rating: 9/10

[meatcrimes]

Nineteen years. That’s almost two thirds of my life you’ve been gone. I’ll never forget the hot pavement on that sunny, unusually humid July day. I forgave you for this years ago, but if you had known your death would have been a catalyst for so much trauma and pain for your entire extended family, would you have been more careful?

Look at us, those of us who are left. Look at your brother, your daughter, your surviving son. Look at what they’ve overcome in the past nineteen years. Look at me, your niece, and my brother, your nephew who you never got to meet. Look what we’re still trying to overcome. I no longer blame you for the actions of other people done in the wake of your death, but the timeline shifted that day, and whatever track we were on before veered into the wrong lane at 100mph and ever since we’ve been picking up the pieces. I can’t say we would have been better or worse off if we hadn’t lost you, but I can say we all wish you were able to walk your daughter down the aisle at her wedding. Walk your foster son down the aisle at his wedding, because it became legal in 2015 for him and his husband to marry. You had no idea he was gay, did you? Neither did he for many, many years. And the trauma he experienced from your death influenced his own death in his early thirties. Now, you both left widows behind. You have more in common now than you ever did in life.

Look at your daughter, you probably won’t even recognize her, and not just from the weight loss. She’s now a devout Catholic, in a loving marriage with a man who values and respects her, with five beautiful step daughters that call her “mom”. It wasn’t easy for her to get there. She went through far too long of believing herself unworthy and unloveable, and far too many boyfriends who saw her the same way.

Look at your biological son. He’s in the national guard now, making something of his life and what has been left behind. He simultaneously never grew up and grew up all too fast, a lot like me. He doesn’t remember what your voice sounds like, and I wish I could transfer my memory of your voice into his mind. It isn’t fair that I remember your voice and he doesn’t. Really, none of this is fair, never has been, never to anyone. Your generation may have said “Life isn’t fair” with the connotations of “so there!”. Often a justification of their mistreatment of others. But us, we hear it in a different pitch. We hear “life isn’t fair” with “but with compassion and community we can bridge the gaps, even if we can’t close them”.

I don’t remember where I was going with this. I’m sitting in my old room at my dad’s house that he owns, that he bought with money he earned in a career that didn’t exist nineteen years ago. We live in a small town thousands of miles from our ancestral land, in a climate my body will frankly never get used to. I was built for the desert, biologically designed for the Great Basin region. Last time I went back, my anxiety was nearly gone, my acne cleared, my hair didn’t need any styling or products beyond a brush and shampoo. My thyroid condition was getting better at a faster rate than it was before. I thrived in Nevada. I am a Western Shoshone woman. You were a Western Shoshone man, no matter how much you or anyone else ignored it, or explained our genes with ancestry we didn’t share. Las Vegas is haunted ground now. My father plans on never going back, because it reminds him so much of you. And me? No matter how badly I want to return home, it’s not home anymore. It hasn’t been since we lost you. And I don’t think I can rebuild what was destroyed.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Comeback Celebration: Current Top Ten Sunmi Songs

I noticed, while I was working on this, that I talk about Sunmi the way orbits talk about Loona--I think you'll see what I mean as we go down the list! I think it's the admiration I have for how creative & well-crafted her releases are. "Heroine" was the song that got me into Sunmi, though her most recent comeback at the time was "Lalalay" (I remember because the ponytail dance was EVERYWHERE). My admiration was secured after her 1/6 album--even though her discography is still small, I think that album really fleshed it out, to the point where I finally felt like I could understand her as an artist. Happy Sunmi comeback to us all!

1. pporappippam

This is my "Butterfly". I remember when this song came out, I remember when it changed the world, it's all things divine, it's my conduit to a romanticized version of my teenage years, it's a supercut of all the most wonderful colors you've ever seen in the sky at sunset. In all seriousness, though--I really don't get how people find this song boring. It manages to be a soft, ethereal track and an addictive pop hit, a perfect balance of peaceful atmospherics and unrelenting pace. This one is really special to me!

2. 1/6

This is my "Loonatic". I got dream pop with this song--okay, "1/6" might not exactly be dream pop, but it's soft and dreamy in a way that made me finally see the appeal of that type of song, like why someone would want to get lost in that hazy sonic world.

3. Siren

"Siren" is a piano crashing into you from a third-story window. Like, I don't know how it's ever possible to be emotionally ready for this song. Its brute-force approach is just so goddamn memorable, especially because Sunmi doesn't overuse it in the rest of her discography--she usually goes for subtlety, but her vocals carry a powerful chorus like this one just so well.

4. Narcissism

This one's also in the brute-force category, especially because the production takes this really messy, maximalist approach--and fuck it, it works. I love this song a whole lot: the soft intro; the weird schoolbell-through-intercom-static sounds; the way the chorus hits; the way Sunmi navigates the song's rapid rises and falls. If you miss old-school EDM (read: if you obsess over Dreamcatcher's "Can't get you out of my mind" like I do), I think you'll really enjoy this one.

5. Call

Yeah, no surprise here, I always love club music. But this club classic is particularly intricate, built on a really interesting contrast: Sunmi's gritty vocals over an exceptionally pristine house beat.

6. Black Pearl

This song is just cool. Like, that saxophone solo is just really, really cool. Like, I want to be a guy who has this song at the top of his most-listened list. Maybe one day!

7. Heroine

Yeah, the beat drop is kind of wimpy, so that part didn't age all that great. But Sunmi's PERFORMANCE here?? That prechorus is one for the ages. Five years ago, the emotion of this song absolutely captivated me, and it still resonates with me today.

8. Lalalay

In contrast, this one aged wonderfully! Now that I'm not being constantly overloaded with beat drops in every other song (thank you, 2019 Twice & 2021 Olivia Rodrigo!), I can really appreciate how interesting "Lalalay" is! I used to think this one was boring and lacking inspiration, but now that I'm revisiting it, I think the dynamics of the chorus are pretty compelling (yes, I think the beat drop is compelling, sue me)--like, do you hear how the weird note thingie is fading in and out? how the volume shifts? I love it so much!! My favorite part is the bridge, though--the flight attendant bit remains iconic, and the segue into the final chorus is breathtaking.

9. Heart Burn

This will forever remind me of a song from my childhood--the melody of the chorus is vaguely reminiscent of Taylor Dayne's "Tell It to My Heart", which my mom used to play in the car--so this song hits unfairly hard for me. Like, it's already a reserved, mysterious summer hit, but to me it sounds like a half-formed image of your old living room, or the voice of an elementary-school friend whose name you can't quite recall speaking from the void. Cloudy, surreal, a bit unsettling, but altogether sweet. Also, the color scheme of this music video is super striking, so "Heart Burn", despite its simplicity, gets a LOT of bias points from me.

10. What the Flower

This is like the evil twin of Red Velvet's "Good, Bad, Ugly". They both go for the lounge-singer vibe, but Red Velvet have really pure, sweet-sounding vocals, while Sunmi's voice, and her work as a whole, have always been very savory (like, anti-saccharine?). Both songs are great, and I especially love how both allow for some wonderful piano appreciation (shoutout to the guitar in "What the Flower", too!). The singalong bit at the end of "What the Flower" is really striking, so this one has stuck around in my head over the years, even before I could really appreciate its quieter sections.

Honorable Mentions: 24 Hours (obligatory), Who am I, Curve (also obligatory), Tail (Sunmi's charisma wins this one), Call my name

[thepredatorywasp]

average rating for ttpd (standard version): 7,32/10

average rating for the anthlogy: 7,52/10

average rating for the entire album: 7,42/10

whew, this album is longggg. it kinda drags out at some points and i couldn't listen to it in one sitting. overall, to me this is an album with very high highs and very low lows, that could have benefitted from a little editing, especially if we consider ttpd+the anthology as one whole album. it's not my favorite album but some of the individual tracks are just incredible and imo, a leap forward songwriting wise. my individual ratings for each song are under the read more, in case anyone is curious <3 onto midnights!

fortnight: i adore the outro but the rest of the song is a little boring :(. overall, a 6,9/10

ttpd: i don't like this one lol, i like the chorus but the rest says nothing to me 4/10

my boy only breaks his favorite toys: this one was my favorite on a first listen, but i don't reach for it much. i like the metaphor! 7,3/10

down bad: i like it but again, i don't listen to it much! the production is great tho, but i find it repetitive 7,9/10

so long london: love love this one. it reminds me of you're losing me in the sense that the bridges keep coming and they get more and more sad. one of my faves! 9,3/10

but daddy i love him: i liked this song but hearing it live made me love it. so euphoric and fun, and i think she's owed telling people to fuck off even if the criticism was fair 8,5/10

fresh out the slammer: perfect song and very underrated. super atmospheric, and maybe the best produced song in this album. what can i say, i love this kind of country 9,3/10

florida!!!: i love a lot about this song but the general metaphor and city namedrops i just don't connect with. 8,3/10

guilty as sin?: it used to be a favorite of mine but other songs have gone higher up in my list. remains a banger! 8,9/10

who'd afraid of little old me?: i don't have much to say about this one tbh! like it, prefer it live :) 7,9/10

i can fix him (no really, i can): oof. i don't like this one, it's boring, unnecessary, and i hate the chorus. ironic, since it was one of my surprise songs lmao 3/10

loml: listen i really wanna love this one because lyrically is one of the strongest in the album, but it's too slow :( i think it's placement in the album does it a disservice because at this point... i'm a little bored lol 8/10

i can do it with a broken heart: so fun. i love listening to this one while i run, and i love how meta it gets, especially on eras 8,3/10

the smallest man who ever lived: tbh. i only like the bridge on this one and the previous verses drag on a little, but whew! i love the anger 8/10

the alchemy: i like it but it doesn't say much to me. i love the whole returning to herself theme, but again. by this point i'm tired 6/10

clara bow: it makes me feel bad to rate this one so low, and i think it needs to be in the album, but it says nothing to me. i love the strings on the stevie nicks verse but that's about it. 5,5/10

the black dog: i love this one!! to me, it shows one of taylor's greatest strengths as a lyricist, making an incredibly relatable song filled with specific details. very all too well-ish in this sense. 9,4/10

imgonnagetyouback: fun and sexy! i don't reach for it much and i don't think it does anything special but it's not bad :) 7/10

the albatross: oof. does nothing for me sadly. the concept is cool i guess but i just don't connect :/ a bit boring to me hahahah 4/10

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: one of the most heartwrenching songs of the album, especially when it clicked for me 8,9/10.

how did it end?: this was my favorite song in the album for a while, i still think it's one of the most important songs in the album. 9,3/10

so high school: cute song :)) really sweet and fun. not my fave but nice! 7,5/10

i hate it here: there's a few lyrics on this one that i don't like and take me out of it. the chorus and bridge are top tier tho 8/10

thanK you aIMee: i don't vibe much with this one tbh. 4/10

i look in people's windows: i like this one! i kinda wish it was a bit longer tbh <3 but i like it! 7,9/10

the prophecy: i really really love this one. to me it's essential to understand the album and it's a really vulnerable track. 9,3/10

cassandra: i don't like this one either, i must have listened to it like three time max. oh well! the melody + lyrics don't do it for me 3/10

peter: very heartbreaking as well <3 the repetition is really good. just a good song tbh 9/10

the bolter: i looooove it!!! i love the country aspects, the storytelling, just all of it!! good track <3 9,3/10

robin: oh man <3 i hadn't listened to this one in months but damn. maybe it's because i'm ovullating but i love it? it's really sweet and tender, very folklorian! 7,8/10

the manuscript: the true ending of the album to me... it ends the whole storyline without even mentioning it. "and at last she knew what the agony had been for". whew. 8,5/10

[slothquisitor]

Invisible String: Chapter Four

A Baldur’s Gate III Modern AU.

Chapter Summary: In which both Liv and Astarion learn something new about each other. And I make my case that Gale would love Kafka.

Read from the beginning.

Read on AO3.

__________________________________________________________

It’s a beautiful day in Baldur’s Gate, and Astarion hates it. The autumn sunshine is out in full force, and the leaves are just beginning to turn. Summer wears on him, the long sun-filled days a constant reminder of everything he’s lost and can’t have. Winter is easier. Not only does he prefer the fashion of a good winter coat, the days are much shorter and darker, it’s almost easier to pretend he’s not a vampire spawn. 

But they’re not there yet, so he spends the daylight hours pacing the empty apartment and wishing Liv was here to provide some measure of entertainment. He’s not sure when he went from avoiding her to looking forward to her being home, but it happened sometime between morning chats and movie night. 

Books>People has been largely quiet today, and he finds he misses that too. He can’t quite be productive because he keeps checking his phone, willing a message to come through. He’s ‘working’ when one finally does, though today that seems to involve more mindless scrolling of Chirper than actual work. 

Books>People: Is there a point where one ever gets used to seeing a man passed out over a trash bag full of spaghetti on the evening commute? 

FangtasticLover: Is there a point where you want to be the type of person used to seeing a man passed out over a trash bag full of spaghetti on the evening commute?

Books>People: Is that the Baldur’s Gate sanity test? 

FangtasticLover: Yes, that and knowing that you never go to Wyrm’s Crossing on a summer Saturday. 

Books>People: Good to know. I learn things about this new city of mine every day. 

FangtasticLover: Wait, you’re new to the city? 

There’s a pause then at his question. There is some sort of unspoken agreement between them, they don’t ask identifying questions. They are happy to banter and tease each other, but they don’t delve deeper than that. He likes it that way. He likes that she wants to know his opinion on movies and books and that she wants to know if he’s having a good day or not. It’s all surface level, all comfortable. There’s a reason he cuts these connections off before it can turn into anything more. 

Books>People: I thought my surprise at subway spaghetti man revealed that.

FangtasticLover: It didn’t. How do you like it?

Books>People: I still feel like I’m learning it, but I love the way it feels almost alive all the time. The bells ringing in Old Town are my favorite. Do you like living here? 

FangtasticLover: I’ve never really lived anywhere else. 

Books>People: A true local! You’ll have to teach me your Baldurian ways. 

FangtasticLover: Ugh. First, you want my gold-digging techniques and now you want me to show you the local customs?

Books>People: And I better still be getting all your mind flayer erotica recommendations too. 

He smiles at the joke from their first conversation. She does that a lot, these little things she refers back to that already feel like theirs. It makes him want to pay attention to follow these invisible strings weaving between them. Perhaps that’s why he is so lost when he cuts someone off on the app, the severing of those fragile threads must be like a wound. But he’s good at surviving those. 

FangtasticLover: Where’s your favorite place in the city so far?

Books>People: There are  a few good places, but that one pedestrian bridge just south of the Wide is pretty spectacular. I was there today with a friend. 

FangtasticLover: I know the place. Great views. But you have friends beyond me? I’m hurt.

Books>People: Oh is that what we are? Friends? I thought of you more as my gold-digging-dating-app-pocket-comrade.

FangtasticLover: That’s a lot of words for friend, but sure, if that’s how you want to talk about me to other people.

Books>People: Awfully presumptuous to assume that I talk about you to other people.

FangtasticLover: *Did* you tell your friend about me?

Books>People: Maybe. Would you prefer I didn’t?

Astarion smiles. She definitely told her friend about him. There’s something about knowing she might have that lights up something within his chest. She doesn’t even know his name, and he doesn’t know hers either but the idea that she might be telling someone about their conversations makes it all more real somehow. He’s not sure how he feels about that, how he should feel about that. 

FangtasticLover: I don’t mind at all. Just nice to know I’m being thought of even when we’re not messaging.

Books>People: At least every now and again, pocket comrade.

Later that night, when his nighttime wanderings take him across the city he knows so well, he finds himself on that bridge. The lights of Baldur’s Gate twinkle in the night, brighter than any stars. He snaps a picture on his phone of the skyline, and sends it to Books>People without a second thought. No comment, just the picture. 

Books>People: Wow, it’s even better at night. Were you just passing through or did you go all the way there to think of me?

FangtasticLover: Why not both?

This is why he likes the Weave. The way it collapses the distance between him and other people, but always within his control. He likes that he stands here on this bridge in the same place she was earlier today. He wonders what other spaces they’ve shared, knowing even now, he wouldn’t be able to pick her out of a crowd. 

Sometimes, he worries that he only likes people in the abstract. More in love with the distance than any connection he could make. He feels made up of only jagged edges that will never quite fit without wounding. He’s sure he wasn’t always like this, but years upon years of abuse and violence drown out the other memories. There is the before and the after, but the before feels slick, like trying to grasp at water. Now he’s just a jumble of memories and an after that he can’t quite navigate.

Books>People: Where’s your favorite place in the city? 

He doesn’t respond, not yet. Instead, he leaves the bridge and jumps on the train, riding it to the oldest part of Baldur’s Gate where the university crouches, its spires lit up against the dark navy of the sky. As he walks the empty cobblestone paths, he is filled with a certain wistfulness. This is the only place in the city that feels untouched by the passage of time. It’s the only place he thinks he might be able to forget the years spent beneath Cazador’s thumb. He snaps a picture of his favorite building, the large domed library beside the tall tower of the nearby tabernacle. The photo makes the stone buildings look more buttery orange than they are, but the sky is darker too, and it’s like the buildings are aglow. He sends it off. Her response is immediate. 

Books>People: That is coincidentally my other favorite place in the city. 

FangtasticLover: Oh? 

Books>People: Well, it is a library. 

***

It begins with him. With his pictures that night, and it’s like he’s crossed an invisible threshold of their relationship, and now they send little pieces of themselves back and forth across their days. Small things: a coffee order or the cover of a book. But to Liv, it feels like a window. He feels more real now like showing the city back to her has sharpened his outline. She looks for him everywhere now as if she might find him in a crowd. 

But she doesn’t bring up meeting. There’s a comfortability to this, to the way they spend their days messaging. She is grateful for this connection, for having someone she feels like she can talk to, even if it is mostly meaningless. She worries about breaking the spell, at pushing whatever this is along too quickly toward their inevitable demise. And it will be a demise, that much she is sure of. 

And yet, with every message from him that comes through, she hopes a little bit harder. For what exactly, she’s still not sure. 

When she gets home from work on Wednesday afternoon, she’s surprised to find Astarion working in the living room. She catches a glance at his laptop screen while she deposits her bag in her room only to find the man has a truly ungodly number of tabs open on his computer. 

“Everything alright?” she asks, stepping back out into the kitchen. 

He sighs. “I’m trying to capitalize on a particularly viral meme while one of the stupidest patriars in the city held a press conference dressed in a suit that looks like it came from his grandmother’s attic. And not in the nice antique way…literally it looks like it was made for a woman thirty…fifty years ago…?”

Liv sinks down on the other end of the couch. “Is it like a marketing thing to capitalize on a meme?”

Astarion looks up at her from the glow of his laptop with confused disdain. “Marketing?”

“That’s what Gale said you did?” Liv says, suddenly mistrusting her memory of that initial conversation about Astaron. She feels like a bit of an asshole now because he’s mentioned working but hasn’t talked about it much if at all, but she’s talked about her job plenty. She’s lived with him for almost two weeks now, and is it really possible she doesn’t know anything about his fucking job?

Astarion’s answering laugh is high-pitched and delighted. “Karlach would tell people I’m ‘in marketing’. I owe her a drink.”

Liv has seen enough of Astarion not to be overly concerned that whatever he does will be a deal-breaker, but she is wondering if it’s strictly legal at this point. “Okay, so what do you do then?”

“Oh, I’m the GlamReaper, darling,” he says with a slight giggle bubbling out of him. 

It takes her a moment to remember why that would be familiar to her. Then it dawns on her. “The guy who roasts badly dressed men on Chirper?” 

He grins. “You’ve heard of me.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty popular on the internet…this isn’t information you typically lead with? It seems like a tidbit you’d be sharing with most people you meet,” Liv replies. Astarion loves attention, that much she’s figured out in the past two weeks. 

He clicks his tongue. “Judgy.”

It’s her turn to sigh. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like such a bad thing…you’d just think that you’d want people to know that about you.”

Astarion shrugs. “Anonymity is part of the job; it’s why it works.” 

“Don’t you have like a million followers?” 

“1.2, but who’s counting? And nearly half of them have tagged me in a video of this ridiculous patriar so my notifications are a mess.”

Liv considers what it might be like to have over a million people choosing to listen to what you might say at any given moment. “How do you manage to post anything knowing that many people will see it?”

“Easily,” Astarion says, pushing publish on his post to prove it. “There’s money involved, after all.”

“That’s…wild to me. Do you like it?”

He considers that, seemingly surprised at her question. “I’m quite good at it, so…yes. But I do like other aspects of my job a bit more. The virtual closet consulting is a bit more fun these days, actually.”

“Well, I live with the GlamReaper, who’d have thought?”

He pushes the laptop away and twists in his seat so that they’re facing each other properly. “It is something I’d prefer you not broadcast though.”

She rests her elbow on the back of the couch, propping her head on her hand. “Your secret is safe with me.” She means it. 

He looks like he believes her. “I…appreciate that.”

She scrubs a hand down her face. “I feel like an asshole for not knowing your job when I’ve told you at length about mine.”

“Are you looking to make it up to me?” He leans in toward her, flashing a grin that tells her he’s not truly bothered but willing to take advantage of it anyway. 

This close she can see the ruby red of his eyes and the fine lines in the corners. She’s not entirely sure of his age, but he feels older than her and probably has an enviable skin care routine. “That entirely depends on what you want.”

He taps his chin exaggeratedly in mock seriousness. “How about we just settle on a future favor?”

“That feels ominous,” she replies. But she knows she’s going to agree because he’s her roommate, and of course she’d do him a favor any time. Assholery or not. “But sure. A future favor it is.”

“Excellent. How were the books today?” 

Liv smiles. “As always, better than people.” He looks a bit confused at her statement, so she presses on. “The library is looking for a new exhibit for the spring, and I’m thinking of writing a proposal for it.”

“About?”

“I want to do something to show off the archives and all of the cool and rare things we have there, but also something that would be interesting to library patrons. I was thinking of an exhibit on the editing process. We have some really rare manuscripts and unpublished works marked up by the authors.”

He considers that for a moment. “That does sound marginally interesting.”

She sighs. “It will need to be more than marginally interesting to win out. I’m pretty sure Gale has a true winner with his idea for a Kafka exhibit. He wants to bring in actual bugs.”

“Kafka? Really?”

Liv shrugs. “Gale loves him.”

“I have only ever heard about Gale from Karlach, but he would.”

Liv laughs. “Kafka did want his work burned after his death rather than actually shared with the world, but after he died, his literary executor still published it. There’s an interesting moral quandary to explore there.”

“If you say so,” Astarion replies. “Your idea sounds more interesting than that.” The way he says it, voice dropped lower, filled with a certainty she doesn’t quite feel in herself makes her cheeks warm. 

Suddenly, it’s hard to look at him, and she looks down instead at the stretch of couch between them. “Thanks.”

***

Astarion is enjoying a rare evening home, alone. According to the shared calendar he still hasn’t bothered adding anything to, Liv is at dinner with her library coworkers in what sounds like the most boring dinner party imaginable. He’d been looking forward to having the apartment to himself for the evening. He and Liv have been spending most evenings together watching Crown of Shadows , and while enjoyable, sometimes it’s nice to be able to just be alone at night drinking blood without worrying about an audience.

Books>People hasn’t messaged him back in over an hour, so he half watches, half scrolls his phone while a movie he pressed play on and then promptly forgot the name of drones in the background. 

He’s surprised at how empty the apartment feels without Liv in it. She’s only been here about two weeks, but already her presence has become a sort of fixture of the place. He likes having her around. She’s easy to be around, and seems happy, if a bit bemused, to give him her undivided attention whenever he asks for it. Beyond her work though, he knows so very little about her. But she’s not home, and her room is open, and well, he could just poke around a little bit. Couldn’t he?

She’d never know. 

He doesn’t bother stopping the movie as he pockets his phone and approaches the darkened threshold of her room. From the light of the kitchen, he can see her neatly made bed with no less than three blankets draped over the duvet. She’s a rather tidy person, he’s gathered, and her room doesn’t look anything like his often cluttered, strewn about one. 

It’s bad form to go into her room and through her things, and he knows he’d be furious if she did the same to him, but the thought doesn’t stop him. He steps forward full of confidence and curiosity, and headlong into….well something quite solid. 

He can’t enter her room. 

He presses his hands up against the invisible barrier blocking him, full of confusion. “But I own the entire apartment!” He exclaims this to the empty air, not sure who exactly he’s talking to. 

He petulantly kicks the barrier, which does nothing beyond earning him a sore foot before returning to the couch and his movie. Well, it seems that he won’t be unrepentantly going through Liv’s things until she invites him into her room. That ought to be easy enough to orchestrate. He’s ignoring his movie while thinking through how to make that happen when his phone finally pings. 

Books>People: What movie did you settle on? Sorry for the delay, was out to dinner with some coworkers. 

He stares at her message for several moments. That’s odd…Liv is out to dinner with coworkers tonight too. Oh fucking hells. No, no, no, no, no. This can’t possibly be happening. It must be a coincidence. He fires off a text immediately. 

FangtasticLover: I’m unsure if I should offer encouragement or condolences. I guess that depends entirely on what you and your coworkers do.

She told him she worked for the university once…and…and now he remembers what Liv had said earlier…about liking books more than people. No. This isn’t happening. But no response arrives…for several whole minutes. 

Books>People: I think most people would assume that a dinner with a group of archivists would be boring, but we made do.

He reads the message through at least three times before tossing his phone on the couch and jumping up and away from it as if it’s a snake poised to strike. He begins pacing the room, mind filtering through possibilities. Perhaps it’s not Liv…maybe it’s just someone she works with. Oh hells, it’s not Lae’zel is it? She had been in the apartment once, so the app might have clocked their proximity. For all he knows Liv doesn’t even use the app. But Books>People had said she was new to the city. 

Oh gods. Oh gods. This is bad . 

Or is it? He’ll just sever the connection, go about his life and never tell her a damn thing. It’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. Nothing needs to change here and he gets to keep his roommate and not make things weird. It’s a win-win. 

It hasn’t even been two weeks since he matched with her, but the thought of cutting that connection off, of losing the ability to talk to Books>People. He doesn’t like that. Ugh. It’s a coincidence. Probably. 

He’s not going to panic. Not right now. When she gets home he’ll simply send a message to Books>People and if Liv’s phone goes off, he’ll know. That’s all. It’s fine.

The door to the apartment opens, and he stares at it, unmoving from his place standing in the middle of the living room. Liv walks in dressed in a dark green wool coat, frowning at her phone before looking up. 

“Oh, hey.”

He strides over to the couch, as if he had simply been on his way back instead of uselessly pacing the room. “Hi.”

He picks up his phone. And types out a message. 

FangtasticLover: Archivists? Well, that does sound dreadfully dull.

He presses send and doesn’t look away from Liv as she hangs her coat in the hall. The passing seconds feel like an eternity, and for a moment, he believes that it might have been long enough that he’s safe. It is a coincidence. But then her phone vibrates on the table. 

 No, no, no, no no. NO. But he knows, and no amount of denial will make it go away. Books>People is his fucking roommate. 

He can’t do this, not right now. So the moment she’s in the kitchen proper he strides right out of the apartment without another word.

[reviewsbynixx]

Midnights: A Track by Track Review (by a non-Swiftie)

Taylor Swift has been a seemingly omnipresent force in the music world since I was literally five years old. Her 16 year career has resulted in her being a rare breed of musician, straddling the line between the old tabloid driven celebrity culture of the 2010s, and the slightly more relatability obsessed culture of the 2020s. To me, Taylor Swift has perfected what it means to be a superstar in the modern era. Despite this, I have never been a particularly massive fan of her albums. I can respect her talent as a songwriter and acknowledge that her albums are not for me as I rarely love more than 60-70% of the songs on each LP the way that I see others do (the exception to this rule being Folklore, although again, it still has three or four songs that I am iffy about). With all this in mind, I decided that the first post on this blog should be a review of her latest record smashing album, Midnights, and I hope this provides a blind, outside perspective on her music. 

Lavender Haze

As an R&B fan, when I first saw frequent Kehlani collaborator Jahaan Sweet on the list of song credits, I was more than intrigued, and safe to say they did not disappoint. The song reminds me of I Think He Knows from Lover, from the production to Swift’s delivery and use of head voice. Thematically the lyrics are not anything Swift hasn’t written about before, but Lavender Haze is more polished and mature in its execution. Production wise this is probably my favourite song on the album.  9/10. 

Maroon

This song has grown on me immensely since the first time I heard it. It is a great deep cut that acts as the perfect follow up from Lavender Haze and precursor to Anti-Hero and just works as an album track. The delivery of ‘your roommate's cheap ass screw top rosé’ is just perfect. Not much else to say about this one, if you get it you get it, if you don’t I feel bad for you. 7.5/10

Anti-Hero 

I would consider this to be one of her best singles ever and possibly one of my favourite songs of hers ever. The introspective track features Swift pondering recurring themes in her work such as her struggle with celebrity and the fear of abandonment because of it. The bridge is so tongue in cheek in a way that Swift has perfected, and I think the song itself perfects the blend of personable and serious, soul baring storytelling (meaning you can also tell it was written by a millennial, but a very talented one). I know there’s been a lot of discourse about the sexy baby line, but since I heard it, its meaning has always been pretty obvious to me, even before I was told it was a 30 Rock reference, and I personally love it. Who hasn’t been a monster on the hill? 10/10

Snow On the Beach 

I have to confess I don’t particularly care for this one. I also do not understand Taylor’s female collaborations just being Taylor and a female artist on backing vocals and/or ad libs. I think Nothing New is the only female collaboration of hers where I have heard another woman sing what would be a normal amount for a collaboration and I would actually really love for someone to explain it to me because it just confuses me a little, maybe there’s a reason? This is all building up to me saying I wish we got a proper Taylor Swift and Maren Morris collab! Back to the song, it is beautiful, I love the verses, but it isn’t a song I would actively come back to in isolation although I wouldn’t skip it when listening to the album. 6/10

You’re On Your Own, Kid

I LOVE the pre-chorus and bridge - I’m a sucker for a pre chorus that changes lyrically as the song goes on and the production builds. The song feels super nostalgic, almost like coming home to a small town, and reminds me of ‘tis the damn season, one of my favourite songs from Evermore. I cannot wait to see the end of year coming of age movie edits on twitter that use this song in the background. 7/10

Midnight Rain

Initially I wasn’t completely sold on this one but the more I listen to it the more I realise that there are elements of it that I really appreciate. It’s not the most musically daring but the vocal distortion used here (and on Lavender Haze) is probably one of the more experimental things Swift has done in a while, and I think it pays off. I wish there was some kind of final chorus instead of an instrumental outro because its use here does make the song feel somewhat unfinished to me and it's short enough that more could be added, give me a Midnight Rain final chorus you cowards! 7/10

Question…?

Relistening to this for this review has made me realise just how much I love this song. 

I love when artists sample/interpolate their own work because, why wouldn’t you? Especially if you've written a song like Out of the Woods. I think the subject of the song, hoping someone you were once close to still thinks about you and your relationship, is something done so frequently due to its universality but I love the way Swift approaches it here. Side note: we need more songs written in the second person. ONE DRINK. AFTER. ANOTHER. FUCKIN. POLITICS AND GENDER ROLES AND YOU’RE NOT SURE AND I DON’T KNOW! Just so good. 9/10

Vigilante Shit

Not listening to that. It’s just corny, I’m sorryyyyyy. It sounds like something that did not make the cut on Reputation and I already have my issues with some of the songs that did. 2/10?

Bejeweled 

I will say my opinion on this song has most definitely been swayed by its popularity on Tiktok because I did NOT like it when I first listened to the album but I admit, the chorus is super catchy. 5/10

Labyrinth

I won’t lie, I forgot this song was even on the album because I did not care for it on first listen and this is probably only my third or fourth time hearing it. Similarly to Snow on the Beach, I don’t hate it, I just think it's slightly boring but still beautiful. Nice outro.  6/10

Karma

I love this, I don’t even care. The melody is so fun and Swift’s triumphant yet peaceful delivery makes you believe that Karma is her cat/boyfriend/acrobat/god breezing through her hair and purring in her lap. The brightness of the production gives the song a youthful quality but the matter of fact way she sings the statements in the chorus breathe an air of maturity into the song - there is no uncertainty, she is so well acquainted with Karma that she knows she does not need to stress. I’m envious. 8/10

Sweet Nothing

Just so sweet. I love the faint horns used and the way the song paints this feeling of internal domestic bliss shielded from the bustling outside world. I’m just too soft for all of it :( 7/10

Mastermind

She’s kind of crazy (positive). This is another song I don’t particularly care for but I think it bookends the album in a nice way, and the themes of restlessness and questioning that are present lyrically here (and throughout the album) are well reflected in the production and tempo.6.5/10

Overall Score: 6.9

Standout Tracks: Lavender Haze, Question…?, Anti-Hero

I feel like this is somewhat appropriate for my experience with the album. I’m not sure where I’d rank it but it is definitely up there. To me anything above a 6 is an enjoyable album. I’m not reviewing 20 songs at once, but maybe at a later date I’ll talk about the 3am tracks, one of which is definitely one of my favourite and in my opinion one of her best songs ever. 

Thanks for getting through this lofty review. What’s your top 3 on the album? What should the next single be?  I think I might like Taylor Swift a lot actually.

[tenaciouspostfun]

 Twelfth night theater Review

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Twelfth Night

Effective Modern Play.



By Robert M Massimi. ( Broadway Bob).Published about a minute ago • 3 min read

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"Twelfth Night" at the Axis Company Theatre brings front and center just what The Bard had intended when he wrote this glorious piece. The play is riff with mistaken identities and great frolic.

In this production, I was reminded of a great company back in the early 80's that used to be in residence there; The Ridiculous Theater Company. Much of "the business" that the actors had poked fun as well at farce towards the characters that they were playing, and it all tied together nicely indeed! Much of the success of this brilliant, shortened rendition goes to the producing director Brian Barnhart. In making use of the full stage, crisp entrances and bawdy gestures, the direction always keeps the audience engaged, always.

"Twelfth Night" is not an easy show to produce; the reason we see so little of this timeless piece is that it can be cumbersome as well as confusing at times. The Axis Company cutting its length and bringing the most relevant to the forefront at 90 minutes gives us just the right amount of story (adaptation by Marc Palmieri)

Karl Ruckdeschel's costumes capture the period and are extremely creative. So too are the wigs and makeup Leone Gagliardi and Will Vicari. In both the costumes and wigs, the audience gets to go back in time and relish the period in which this was written. I am not sure we can call this a modern piece because it holds to Shakespeare's vision of this play. Shakespeare often poked fun at the times in which he lived; he brought the tawdry front and center in many of his works, and here in "Twelfth Night", Axis brings all the good stuff in this writing.

The story is based on Viola, (Britt Genelin) separated from her twin, Sebastian, (Eli Bridges) dresses as a boy and works for Duke Orsino, (Jon McCormick) whom she falls in love with. Orsino is in love with Countess Olivia, (Kathy Frame) and sends Viola to court for him, but Olivia falls for Viola instead. Sebastian arrives, causing a flood of mistaken identity, and marries Olivia.

To say that all the main characters are excellent is an understatement; this is the way off off Broadway used to be in the 80's and 90's... a crisp cast with really good actors. Unfortunately in today's off off Broadway we get more showcases that run for a short period of time and often are politically driven towards climate change and or the LGBTQ community. Call me nostalgic, but this play is old school with raw talent, great writing and something you can sink your teeth into. Whereas much of today in the Village we get mise-mosh of writing and acting, Axis brings a professional body of work in this play.

In a simple set, but an effective on, Randell Sharp is very creative in how the blocks ebb and flow. Even the jail scene is well appointed, as is how the actors carry about both stage left and stage right. His set gives us options on where we look throughout the performance. Michael Birnbaum's sound hits the emotion of the play at the right times. The play is sometimes suspenseful and other times eery. The sound pretty much captures the direction here. The lighting at times does not hit the actors properly, however. We sometimes lose the actors with weak focus on their faces.

"Twelfth Night" is one of the best performance I have seen in the off off Broadway space in a long time. Where this realm of theater used to be edgy, in your face and creative has now gone by way of mediocrity and it seems that little thought is put into the acting and writing. Here at Axis, however, we get a masterful and creative piece that is worth seeing again and again!

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About the Creator



Robert M Massimi. ( Broadway Bob).

I have been writing on theater since 1982. A graduate from Manhattan College B.S. A member of Alpha Sigma Lambda, which recognizes excellence in both English and Science. I have produced 14 shows on and off Broadway. I've seen over700 shows

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[rantsintechnicolor]

Now arriving…

The wind blew cool and moist up Market Street from the Embarcadero, but by the time it reached my nostrils it had lost all its shoreline odors. Now it smelled like nothing. The financial district was more scrubbed than the neighboring Tenderloin, though the occasional whiff of sewage was evident near the gutters and manholes. Some of these manholes hissed steam that smelled like laundromats, which I thought smelled very similar to gunpowder. I remembered what my parents told me when I was young: dragons in the sewers.

Arriving at the bus connection to the train, the other passengers were gathered and were rather subdued. Perhaps still waking up and waiting for their caffeinated beverages to invigorate them. Perhaps hiding their foul mood at being up so early, hiding that they were not morning people. They didn’t acknowledge anyone but the driver, who began giving instructions. 

“We will board the bus in two groups. First the six-fifty-five group. Then those of you with a ticket that says seven o’clock.” The driver had to repeat this a few times to passengers that hadn’t been close enough to hear. I waited and was the last to board the bus after a tall, skinny, bespectacled Asian man and an athletic looking black man. On the way through, I did notice a young woman, rail thin in an oversized, dark red Grateful Dead hoodie. Her hair hung straight and limp around her face, perhaps still wet after a shower. She had tears on her face and whimpered quietly. I wondered about this woman. What was her story? What happened to her? Did someone die? Is she going through a breakup? Is she detoxing and in withdrawal? Mental health break? More than one of the above? Will she be okay? I walked by toward the back of the bus, hoping her seatmate would be kind and gentle with the sad woman. I felt like I had been this woman once, on a coach full of strangers, unable to keep my emotions from making them uncomfortable, unable to keep them from spilling over and out of my eyes. My chest tightened with grief for this woman and the woman I had been.

Everyone continued to be silent on the bus, like you do with a bus full of strangers, as it slid confidently between the tall buildings. The horizon became rosy as we transited the bridge, the glow making the city sparkle, reminding all of us that she was gorgeous. Ferry building, Coit tower, Alcatraz, and the Golden Gate in one money shot that I missed while trying to be in the moment, and because my phone was deep in my pocket. On the other side of Treasure Island, the bay was dotted with ships and boats. The tiny pilot boat, larger tugs, and crane ships before the port of Oakland, bristling with cranes already working tirelessly in the hands of the longshoreman to unload the container ships. I saw the large hull of an EVERGREEN, a company infamous for one of their ships blocking the Suez during the pandemic, and the hot pink hull of ONE shipping company. I do love that hot pink was the color chosen by that company for their ships. Very hip. Very gay. I wondered how the landscape would change with the new fuel-efficient cargo ships with sales dominated the port.

On the hills a few landmarks stood out bright while still in shadow. The Mormon Temple looked like a spaceship with four tall spires equidistant around a taller fifth one. Then the Claremont Hotel, still a beacon of white as it had been when it was built. My eyes slid further south from these to the old gravel quarry that was now filled with houses. The house I grew up in was somewhere below that on the hill. My parents were probably finally asleep as they kept the hours of college students rather than those of a productive society-- but, well, retirement. Still much further in the distance to the east, Mount Diablo, a now dormant volcano, poked its peaks higher into the sky. It had dawned a very clear day indeed for it to be so easily viewed from the Bay Bridge. 

Traffic was light on the lower deck out of the city. It moved sluggishly on the upper deck, gridlocked at the toll plaza and backed up all the way to the interchange. There were already emergency and CalTrans vehicles en route to solve whatever calamity was already happening on the morning commute. Sun wasn’t even fully up yet. But our bus zoomed by on the freeway, almost smug.

We disembarked the bus at the end of the platform at the train station, passengers still moving silently, like ghosts, and some murmuring thanks to our driver. Some went inside while others preferred to stay out. It wasn’t that cold though some people hunched their shoulders. There were benches for sitting. Several folks trickled across the pedestrian bridge from the public market parking lot opposite the tracks to join those waiting. Some came out of the station with coffee cups. One old woman walked the length of the platform and back, banishing her arthritic stiffness or getting her steps in. The crying woman came out of the station still looking stricken and miserable, and was not seen again the rest of my trip. Large sparrows, California Towhees, foraged in the curbed and landscaped vegetation islands. When I approached they hopped to a higher perch and one of them was missing some toes on its right foot, which didn’t keep it from being aggressive toward the other Towhee. Crunchy leaves moved on the breeze, rattling and scraping on the pavement. A horn blasted in the distance and it sounded like it was coming from the north. Minutes later, the train came in from the south, heralded by the sound of bells where it crossed the road. 

The station agent ushered them onto the train over the loudspeaker. As we boarded, the conductor read the stops and instructed us on how not to be left behind. “Now boarding for Richmond, Martinez, Antioch, Turlock-Denair, Madera, Merced, Fresno, Hanford and Bakersfield. All aboard.” I loved him. His voice was crisp, joyful, and gay. I might have suspected he was using a “white voice” like from that movie Sorry to Bother You, but when I saw the rainbow Amtrak pin on his conductor's hat, I knew it wasn’t that-- well, maybe a little of that. He was a broad, round black fellow with a kind face that moved easily and confidently. He knew what he was about. Classy as fuck in his uniform. When he misspoke the stops and included one we had already passed, he made his mistake funny for the benefit of his audience but also to be clear so as not to confuse us. 

The sun crested the hills as the train left the station. It moved through mostly industrial manufacturing and warehouses before traveling along the edge of the delta. The trash in the silty mud was what you might expect; tires being the most numerous, followed by a few shopping carts, and a whole couch. In the small beaches dotting the shoreline folks were actually fishing and beach combing with metal detectors and a digging basket. Mostly the shoreline was rocky, dotted with small marinas, some better kept than others. The skeletal remains of piers, a few ruined boats, and even the twin engines and cam shaft of an old ship, as if the outer hull had just melted away and left the guts, or perhaps it had been cut down and sold for scrap. The industry along the water was dominated by oil, transport and refining, with refineries looking like a city scape at a distance.

As the landscape changed to marshes, the wildlife became more apparent. Great egrets, blue herons, Canada geese, black stilts, avocets, white pelicans, killdeer and mallards. A female Northern Harrier swooped low on the grasses, sedges, and rushes, hungry and hunting. Not much left in the mothball fleet that used to be in Benicia. All sold or repurposed as scrap. Only two or three (of what must have been thirty) ships remain.

Much of the fence line bordering the train tracks had a sign on it. “If you are thinking of Suicide please call 988,” it said. I guess a lot of folks try to take themselves out using a train. My mind went back to the crying woman and hoped she would be okay.

The landscape changed yet again into farmland. Corn, grain, grapes, but mostly almonds. Some farmers were clearly feeling the strain of the drought. One of the sections had almost dead trees. They had turned off the water. Later they would drag all the trees out of the ground and bulldoze them into large piles to burn when the weather was appropriate. The next orchard over was green. I saw a red-tailed hawk perched on the ground in one of the rows, serious and regal.

Each time the train stopped the conductor would say, "Now arriving..." I would stare out the window at the station stop and feel like the train was moving backwards. A strange sensation, though I knew the train wasn't moving. It's like getting off a ship after days (or even a few hours) at sea, and feeling like the ground is moving when you know it isn't. The conductor would call, "Now departing... All aboard," and instruct us where we should sit if we were able bodied and that there was no smoking on the train as the train pulled out of the station.

“Now arriving Hanford. If Hanford is your stop, please gather your belongings and make your way downstairs. Thank you for riding Amtrak.” I exited the train and paused on the platform to get her bearings. I looked back at the train and saw the conductor. I waved at him before I turned to leave the station. He waved back.

[nostalgiaenvy]

Magic. Music. Memories. The Polar Express.

“The Polar Express” might be one of the most controversial Christmas movies on the internet. Not because of outdated, hurtful jokes, but due to its weird animation that edges the uncanny valley. 

I will admit, the animation style is poor, and a product like this today would never see a screen. However, this was released in 2004. As much room as there is for criticism, I believe it’s as simple as saying the animation aged poorly. This movie has so much more to offer than its animation.

Something every Christmas movie should hope to capture is the magic a believer feels on Christmas morning. This movie does an amazing job of doing that, as well as bridging our world into that fantasy designed by a child’s imagination.

Never heard of stranger danger?

Hold on, kids.

It’s not until the first musical number breaks out with singing and dancing about hot chocolate that we understand what we’re in for. The songs are catchy and repetitive, the dancing is energetic and fun. If you can’t tolerate musicals, don’t worry it’s sparsely used, but done so tastefully.

Once the movie really picks up there is something happening at every turn. Taking kids on top of the train, breaking OSHA, derailing and putting hundreds of tonnes on top of ice, breaking OSHA again, and a drop that would rival any rollercoaster in the world using a train car. It’s a wild ride that parallels the one we see our characters take.

However this fast paced part of the movie is just a way to get us to the end. 

Once our characters reach the North Pole everything changes. They’ve reached the place they dreamt about every holiday season. They’re no longer imagining what it’s like, they’re seeing it, taking it all in. 

Believe.

In my opinion this is where the movie loses some of its magic for a moment. They managed to make the North Pole look incredibly uninteresting. It reminds me of how I imagine London to look, dark and gloomy with homes made of gray brick. It feels as if they were trying to make a realistic interpretation of the North Pole. One where the elves are 9-5 workers and live normal lives.

As we reach the tail end of the movie, the magic returns. There is a beautiful moment with Santa Claus as he gives a kid from the Polar Express the first present of Christmas. The main character looks down at his feet and see’s a bell that fell off Santa’s sleigh, but it doesn’t make a noise. He shakes it and shakes it, but there is not a sound.

He closes his eyes, and for a moment, he makes himself believe again. Believe in Christmas, Santa, the North Pole. He’s a believer, and the bell makes a noise.

"Whatever it is, you need to share it. It's the spirit of the season."

He opens his eyes and sees Santa towering above him with all his glow. As a favor for returning the bell, he chooses him to receive the first gift. For this year, the first gift of Christmas is that bell from Santa’s sleigh, so he can always remember to believe.

Memories.

This is the reason I adore this movie. We all know that Santa isn’t real, the North Pole is just a place on the map, and we’re going to go back to work the day after Christmas. Despite that, for just one day we can help make the kids in our family believe. Create memories that will live with them forever. It reminds us that we’re never too old to believe, even if we have to make it happen.

Like I said before, it’s hard to make this list because of how much I love these movies. Placing this at 7th to round out the bottom half feels wrong. “The Polar Express” is incredibly fun, inviting, and easy to rewatch every Christmas. I look forward to putting it on as soon as it’s socially acceptable.

That being said, the top 6 movies on my list are amazing, and are near and dear to my heart. I hope you join me again tomorrow.

[evil-wild-lesbian-wizard]

C-section? More like skill issue

Flicks a can, slut

I was doing my job last night, your moms new name is Job

Ok just because I don’t want the wardrobe monsters eating them; doesn’t mean I like them

You know you’re dead when you hear the jazz music slowly approaching

Sings seven nation army jazzily

That’s not jazz!!!! It is now mother fucker

Wiki how is corrupting you

If you didn’t want me to eat your knee you shouldn’t have been such a Whore

Are you consuming the propaganda

Thou shalt not eat propaganda right up there with thou shalt not get impregnated with the baby of

satan in a Walmart bathroom

It’s lovely day out. I’m gonna kill my self

Not all of us are cowards Blair. Drink some milk

Are you high on a lack of brain cells??

I hope your bathbomb is a toaster

I’m gonna baptize people from the inside out

Do it pussy boy

I have no authority to say things but I do have audacity

Drinks water: yep, still soapy

Ur moms a metaphor

I don’t have pockets so have to put it in my mouth

Hey! No conflict without me

It’s not my fault, I just keep saying iconic things

No you can’t eat that! Well fuuuuuuuck you too man

Banished to the cheese dungeon for a thousand years

You were in a music video and you were just losing the argument

I give zero fucks, I will lick your hands. ^they’re probably salty^

I don’t wanna be sniffed!!!

Oofles buddy

Toyota more lil get fucked

Toyota local boob jobs

Toyotathon more like titython

Don’t guilt trip him! No I am.

We don’t eat spicy sky rasins

Hey don’t be sad the my soul cock is bigger than yours

I shit myself on the strip in Las Vegas and all I got was this lousy Tshirt

Have you ever seen a non Arab Muslim? Yes. OH SHIT THEY’RE COLONIZING

I guess if you have dick cheese….

If you take viagra and your dick starts crunching we have problems

Before and after riger mortis I’ll smash

GIVE ME YOUR VAGINA!!

Suck my dick fingers

Thou shalt eat silica beads

I just want them to use a condom

My back is not crackin shlackin

What scares you the most? Women.

What is wrong with you? 👍🏻

I washed my hair this morning. YAY!! In a Starbucks bathroom. NO!!

Do I support gun violence?

I like grapefruit because it reminds me of vagina

Your fangs need some viagra

Your old soft ball teammates dad killed three people on a motorcycle while he was high on crack

I got bit by an old person, I am not friends with old people

Are there bugs in my eye?

Honestly the school needs to serve more cunt

So I saunter up to the dragon all sexy like

He’s got the shotussy

Who here considers me their father?…. That’s concerning

Product of turkey? You’re telling me a turkey made this

If you are curious about how much cannabis you can transport in your car, the answer is not 82 pounds

It’s not violence if it’s vehicular manslaughter

That’s a lie I’m no cashier, burger maker is I

Diversity wins! The gay person can catch

The lama is gay!

You lost hydration privileges

I heard something about the devil, are we talking about the devils lettuce??

Wake up it’s time to overthrow the government

Ugh shoulders? You’re not being a good catholic

If you drink holy water do you sweat catholic?

Jesus will airdrop you a copy of the constitution

Lying: the foundation of every good thing

Sure just beat up the twink..wtf

Just gonna drink my monster and judge you

I’m gonna spend the rest of the day on ao3

You ever just look at a banana and think damn those sexy lady hips

Poland disagrees

Is bread masculine

I love the smell of superiority in the morning

To whom it may concern you suck

WERE UNIONIZING!!

you can’t have a child labor cult without any children.

The trans masculine urge to jump off of a bridge

The only difference between god and my asshole is that people worship my asshole

Get that bread you funky little stripper man!

It’s gonna hurt but we’re gonna be closer because of it! That’s just trauma bonding Jess!!

Breasticles in my testicles

Might I see thine fair breasts on this yonder morn my dear lady

Tits are too funny, breasts are too formals, Tatas just aren’t it, so idk man

Why do you know what pegging is?? INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY DUH!?!??

Boat captain do you have a long or short tow rope? HOW BIG IS YOUR PENIS???

Mother said can’t have glitter so I got GLITTER

Imma call the pope and be all “yo Francy, what’s up come snatch this Whore”

YOU CANT RAMEN IN A STARBUCKS CUP WITH LUKEWARM WATER

Damn green waste material always turning my blood the wrong color

Don’t flirt with your sleep paralysis demon

Serve that crusty cunt

No!! I have to refrigerate my bull semen

WHY EOULD YOU KILL MY CHIKD

Abortion? More like eviction notice

If you remove your scapulas are you free from sin? Yes that’s how you become a true Christian

Man Carry the weight of the world on their shoulder and women carry the weight of their sins

(Whispered) *genital herpes*

Don’t worry it’s not my dildo, it’s the schools!!

I fucked god he’s not impressive

TOUCH THE FETENOYL BUNNY LOGAN!!!!

My goal in life is helatitis b

Diseases? GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!!

We’re gonna be so ready to march on the captial with our legion of screaming armed smal children

“Whawhawha” all I hear is fascist dictator!! I NEVER KILLED ANY JEWS!! THATS WHAT HITLER SIAD YOU FLOPPY COCK

Go on, test me, “I know where you sleep”

Booooo

That really resonated with the girlies

No he was not “the one the got away” he was the bastard who stole my catalytic converter and kissed me in a Wendy’s parking lot

Vagina!🥳

I wanna guilt trip old people Into buying me things

I love chickens but I don’t feel bad about eating them

I’m gonna find a fish and it’s gonna end up in your face

After being slapped in the face by so many fish I can’t help but hate them

Are you a pescatarian because you love animals or because you really hate fish ?

No, her soul is an orbee

R:”It’s cuz the salad was underdressed”

M:*staring at salad with extreme disdain* “slut”

“Can I do the dishes? No. YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING”

No solar energy for naughty America it doesn’t fit the Reagan aestethitc

They wish they had my ramen swag

The children want drugs

Feed the children addictions, cuz they were born to crack whores

Being nice gets your ass deported

Nothing but good vibes bitch

Bella I don’t think you have a boyfriend I think you have a toddler

I am your best friend you chicken fried fuck

And what is your costume? Slut

*with sticker of forehead* I’m special, and I’m allergic to these

How can I be a Whore when the only thing I pull is a push door

I’m starting an only fans to find my build a bear addiction

Live laugh love- eau de old people

Ohshitfuckdickwhoreholecocksuckingmotherofdouchesarghhhhsmmmmmmmdickdickdick

Yo can’t just say girl math and justify all your actions yes I can!!!

I would do so much if it weren’t for the Geneva convention

That is truly a pathetic man….. I want him carnally

But have you considered, war crimes?

You get appendicitis, you get appendicitis…. “You’re the Oprah of apecitis”

When I grow up I want to be cremated

*Shaking a can of Pennys* I’m sorry is my richness bothering you??

Wanna file joint taxes? No you’re not my type

What a little boy fail

What do you taste like???? Chicken

I’ll belike l whip that cunt out cowboy style

They blocked you?? Cowards

My favorite breakfast food is the souls of the undead what about you?

Waffles

Do not fuck the refrigerator

Stupid slutty refrigerator

Pumpkin spice in the off season is crack-cocaine for white girls

Where is my little girlfriend? Bitch where is your dad? Where is your father?? You don’t have one. FATHERLESS BEHAVIOR

You’re dulling my sparkle you hoe bag

When life gets hard, you must get harder

Scamming child labor companies, it’s for the children!!

It genuinely brings me joy to know that I’m making people suffer,……… am I a bad person?

For litterally fucking what??

Can we lock the math teacher in the closet

Baby he’s already there

It’s not rigging an election, it’s strategic voter persuasion

Friendship is getting hit by the same car

He was such a great guy, embezzling was a minor character flaw

If you ever get upset with a child just tape them to the wall

That was not so great

This is unlucky

I’m a cheese beggar

I hate everyone equally give me cheese

Is there a hight restriction for being a lesbian ?

Of course not

……. There should be

THATS THE CUNTY ONE, he slays the hardest

I’m fagging it up in my tranny little house

I don’t know how but I can tell he’s gay

It’s the homo in you

You are gay you have built in sparkle

Girl mid

(Alex) Things to do:

(Izzy) Kill myself

(Owens) is there anything concerning on Instagram

(Alex) everything about you is concerning

If they didn’t want me to call them a slut, why are they covered in blood??

*Assorted screaming* yeah that’s about right

Why are you crying?

I saw you

Mothman ate my whole ass in a dennys parking lot. It was a grand slam breakfast

You look like mothman threw up on you, fucking hot topic ass employee looking bitch

(Alex) I don’t think Kennedy’s was born, she crawled up from hell to torment us all

(Kennedy) Oh so that’s where we met all those years ago …. All those years ago

(Alex)Is that why you look so old all the time

None of the above kill them all

(Kennedy) Alex you should kys

(Alex) your fit is giving goodwill, so shut the fuck up

Your spirit animal is a spirit animal is a ninty year old woman

Old women mitosis… they’ll never see it coming

*tries to scream but only air comes out*

Pussy slay cunt boots slay the whole house down boots Houston I’m deceased

We watched a cadaver have breast implants

Did you just womp womp a girl with cancer?

That’s life

He’s such an icon

(Kennedy) fuck you!

(Alex) no thanks

My goal in life is to make everyone uncomfortable

I have done the world a great disservice and I’m very proud of it…. Like those war crimes I committed

Where were you September 9 2001?!???

Um…. In utero?

So you admit it!!!!!!

(Owen) how do you spell keel?

(Alex) K-e-e-l

(Owens) thanks

(Alex) that’s how you get the bitches

I want to donate my kidneys, I don’t want anyone to use them I just don’t want them anymore.

So you want one of our kidneys?

Hold on let me check the list

Me and my friend group would do miracles on tumblr dot com

[itsclydebitches]

This observation is probably (very) old hat by now, but I totally missed it on my first watch: the box used to present Nate his whistle is also the suggestion box he made with his niece:

The first screenshot isn’t nearly as clear, but it’s the same purple color, blue stripe on the front, yellow heart off to the left. The main difference seems to be that they’ve scratched out “Suggestion” to instead make it the “Whistle Box.”

(But the question mark that remains is an intriguing detail, like we’re asking whether Nate can really be a coach. That’s a question the series is still answering.)

Not to be emotional on main, but that detail just really got to me because it’s such a wonderful bridge between Nate’s biological family and the family he’s building here at Richmond. There’s been speculation about whether Nate’s sibling is the favored child, the one who has managed to secure his father’s attention while Nate continually fails. Beyond just being a way of expressing his frustration at the smiling box (stop looking happy while I feel miserable), this might explain why Nate sticks his tongue out at it. As a craft presumably made only by his niece — Nate doesn’t seem to recognize it when he comes in, commenting that it’s “cute” — it’s a tangential reminder of his sibling, perhaps the child who has done what he, right now, continues to fail at: securing his father’s pride.

Then here comes Ted who doesn’t just acknowledge and praise something Nate helped create — “Hey, look at that! ...This is lovely” — but repurposes it after others have continually demeaned it. Meaning, the suggestion box is largely a bust. No one is engaged with the idea during this scene and outside of the one note commenting on the water pressure, all the box got were versions of “Wanker.” Then, when Nate makes another box to collect money, Jamie gleefully puts his gum in there. Presenting the whistle is the first time Ted and the Richmond team as a whole have embraced one of Nate’s boxes and alongside that growth, the box itself is simultaneously a link between two families and a link to where Nate started out. It’s celebrating who Nate was even as he becomes someone new, with Ted clearly having saved and now creatively reusing something Nate made while “just” a kit man. That feels a lot like the coaching equivalent of Ted putting Nate’s drawings on his fridge. Sure, you’re a professional illustrator now, but I’ll always cherish the crayon scribbles you gave me (the fact that the boxes are, in part, literally a product of a young kid feels significant). The time when Nate was making suggestion boxes is just as important to Ted as this new Nate who makes calls with a whistle.

Which just makes the photograph hurt even more. Ted is clearly someone who takes gifts of all sorts very seriously. I think a lot about him going through the package from home and commenting that Rebecca can’t have his kazoo because he’s only got one — it’s from his son, he won’t part with it — but because he’s got a whole bag of these army men, he’ll give them out when he feels others need them, hoping it will give them some of the comfort he feels (and it does). Now, here comes Nate making craft boxes, just like Henry makes craft kazoos

so of course Ted is going to keep it. He’s going to put that silly box somewhere safe, like parents do with their kids’ creations. He’s going to put Nate’s picture directly beside Henry’s because that’s what you do when you have multiple kids. (Even if Ted’s relationship with Nate is a more complicated balance between father figure and peer.) There are many wonderful details that scream how much Ted loves Nate, but because of how he presents that love —  and the fact that he offers it to so many others —  Nate can’t see it. Ted essentially got lucky the first time around, unknowingly using the box in exactly the kind of way Nate wants: present it where the entire team can see, where everyone is reminded of how special he is to Ted. But when Ted keeps something for himself — the picture is for him to look at when he’s getting ready in the morning, the kazoo is for him because there’s only one — Nate assumes the love is gone. It’s been so obviously denied to him by his father, he needs it obviously acknowledged from Ted in order to know that it’s there. There’s no understanding that Ted loves him even when he’s not overtly expressing that love in public ways. If that love isn’t displayed to the world 24/7, it might as well not exist: “You made me feel like I was the most important person in the whole world and then you abandoned me.”

[mimi-cee-hq]

Laundry Days - Aran x f!reader

Summary: Three times you picked up his underwear and one time you missed doing it.

Genres, other tags: fluff, slice of life, humour, meet cute, domestic fluff, not suggestive lol, married under 25, neighbours to married lovers ;)

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: manga spoiler

This is for @neoheros & @coophi's 2021 Summer Haikyuu!! Writing contest. (Okay I'm pretty shy at first so it feels a little scary to tag you two but here's my piece.) I was going for the married under 25 prompt but ended up doing neighbours to lovers too. :D

Don't mind me spreading the underrated characters agenda as well. lol.

*****

A few articles of clothing spilled out of the dryer and onto your feet. Oops. Your neighbour must have forgotten them. You should've checked first.

Your own damp clothes sat inside the washing machine next to it, waiting for their turn to enter the dryer. It wasn't possible now.

You sighed, retrieving the phone from your pocket and scrolling until you saw the name of the neighbour who lived a floor below you.

Ojiro Aran.

You were sure this was the right person after a second look at your texting history. Who'd bring the garbage to the curb, where the lawnmower was kept, and keeping the duplex's stairway clear were some of the conversations you had with him.

You had yet to meet the guy, but he seemed amicable enough.

After shooting him a text, you thought to give him a call instead. Perhaps he'd think a phone call was strange. However, your clothes were damp and you shouldn't leave them for long. Was he even home?

You sighed. Crouched down, you returned the clothes on the floor back into the machine. A scarf, several socks, and a knit hat made their way back inside. But what was this?

Underwear. Men's underwear.

You scrunched your nose as you lifted it from the cold, tile floor. Was that a hole in it?

Click.

"Sorry I just saw your text!" a tall, dark-skinned man blurted out as soon as the door was unlocked.

"Oh! It's alright! I only texted you a few minutes ago!" you quickly explained, waving your hands in front of you.

You shouldn't have done that. The underwear was hanging from your hand.

"Ummm…" Aran scratched his cheek, eyes retreating from you.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!" you spat out, tossing the incriminating object to him. "It just fell out of the dryer when I opened it so I went to pick it up!"

Once in his hands, he recognized it as the one with the seam coming undone. "I… umm… should probably have thrown this one out."

"Umm… yeah… you probably should." Those words slipped off your tongue before you could catch them.

"I- I guess I'll go now," Aran said hastily.

He shut the door.

You let out a breath. That was awkward. Heat continued to linger in your body and you weren't sure who was more embarrassed by the encounter.

Wait. His clothes were still in the dryer. Did you dare ask him back?

The door slowly creaked open and Aran peeked his head into the room.

"I forgot something, didn't I?" Aran sheepishly asked.

"Yeah." The corners of your mouth lifted into a smile. "Yeah, you did."

"I'm Aran by the way."

"Y/n."

You never thought this would be how you'd meet your future husband.

*****

The office chair in your apartment was a comfortable spot for folding clothes. The webcam caught your face as you chatted with Aran whose image filled the monitor.

You smiled. Your husband was winding down after a long day with the team and decided to check up on you.

"I'm alright," you told Aran. "I miss you though."

"I literally just saw you yesterday!" he said. "I miss you too."

After that fateful yet awkward encounter with him in that laundry room two years ago, you had run into each other more frequently at the front doors of your duplex. Your classes ended at similar times four out of your five school days. You were surprised he even started a conversation with you. You wouldn't have been able to bear the embarrassment. Fast forward to a confession, a kiss and a rock-embedded ring, and you got a small, snowy wedding during winter break.

It was back to the books for you now, and you dreaded it. Chores seemed much better, easier. Plus doing them for your newly-wedded husband? You got giddy about that.

You quirked your brow, lifting a familiar piece of clothing from the basket.

"Hey, I thought you threw this one out," you mentioned to Aran, dangling his underwear in front of the camera.

"I did! That's, uh, probably a different one."

"Just how old are these?"

"Hey! Wait a moment! Are you folding clothes?"

You avoided the eyes on the screen. "Maybe."

"You have your paper due in a few days! I told you I was going to do it after flying back home."

"I know…"

Aran's eyes narrowed at you, a trademark expression of his. "You're procrastinating again, aren't you?" His tone implied disapproval.

"But I'm still being productive!"

"Y/n…"

"Okay, okay. I'll stop." Your foot pushed the basket away, sliding it across the floor. Maybe you could fold them after you hung up.

Aran must have read your mind. "Show me what the laundry bin looks like."

You groaned. He saw right through you. Complying, you removed the clipped webcam off the monitor and directed it at the pile of unfolded clothes.

"It better be like that when I get home."

"Alright," you said with a pout.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Must he stop you from doing chores? They were a simple reminder you were married to him, as if the gold on your finger wasn't enough to show you.

You were his wife.

A smile snuck into your lips whenever that thought crossed your mind. The honeymoon phase was a peculiar, strange, lovely stage.

Yet it was fleeting.

*****

You groaned as you stood in the middle of the bathroom. Aran's white track pants hung off the counter, the red t-shirt he got for free from first year college laid on top, and of course his underwear, which likely went through hundreds of washes, remained on the floor.

Great.

You rubbed your temples, your headache getting worse by the minute. It was Saturday morning, and Aran, who was nowhere to be seen, had left his mess behind.

I'll clean it up later, he would tell you. You knew his mother had spoiled him, always picking up after him. You understood why he was like this, but why couldn't he just start doing it now?

"Do you have this problem?" you asked your friend through your wireless headset.

"What problem?" she asked.

"Does your husband always leave laundry around on the floor?" You pinched the bridge of your nose. "Aran never picks up after himself."

She laughed. You weren't sure if it was because you were a young, amateur wife or if she understood all too well.

Knowing her, probably a bit of both.

"Okay two things."

You listened.

"One, don't say always or never. That's lying."

"I'm not lying," you snapped back at her. You began to regret asking her.

"Are you sure he never picks it up and always leaves it on the floor?"

You left no comment.

"Exactly."

"Okay fine, but that still doesn't solve the problem. If only he just did it, it would solve everything–"

"Number two," she interrupted.

You groaned at her and she gave an amused snort in return.

"If you weren't picking up his underwear, it means he's dead."

You were aghast.

"You know I'm right."

Still aghast.

"What? No husband, no mess."

"I can't believe I asked you for advice."

"But it's true."

"Ugh," was all you could utter. She had several years more of marriage experience than you, yet you didn't want to acknowledge it.

You hung up the phone after you finished deciding today's outing with her, but you hadn't addressed the issue in front of you. Your head throbbed again.

Sighing, you picked up the underwear.

A few minutes later, the front door opened and you dipped your head into the hallway. Aran shuffled grocery bags through the door and into the kitchen. He yawned, placing the milk, eggs, and other items into the fridge.

A familiar coffee brand peeked out of a bag on the floor. Right. You didn't have your coffee yet because there wasn't any left.

You wrapped your arms around Aran and relaxed against his broad back.

"I can't put the food away like this," he said with a chuckle.

"You left your clothes in the bathroom again."

"Oh shoot!" He dropped a bag and started towards the bathroom but you tightened your grip on him.

"I put them away already," you told him. His body relaxed and he caressed your arm around his waist.

The honeymoon phase was a fleeting phase, novel tasks turned mundane, but your love for him grew deeper still.

*****

Aran was away again, this time at Tokyo in preparation for the Olympics. He eagerly called you during breaks, wishing to see his favourite person – although your hands were full as well.

"I miss you," he told you, his smile displayed on the screen.

"And I miss picking up your underwear," you told him with a smirk.

Like clockwork, he narrowed his eyes at you with a comeback. "Why don't you say you miss me like a normal person?"

"Because I'm your wife. I'm special," you told him as he rolled his eyes. "I wish I could be there though."

"You wouldn't be able to spend that much time with me anyway," he said. "Besides, one of us needs to stay home."

"I know." You smiled.

"I gotta go," he said as Atsumu yelled in the background. Aran blew a kiss at you.

You snorted. How cheesy. You returned the kiss anyway.

Hearing a mischievous squeal behind you, you told him, "I gotta go too."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

After you hung up, you turned around and sighed. A soggy wet diaper sagged on the floor and the little guy jumping in the crib giggled at you as if he did the funniest thing in the world.

You rolled your eyes and smiled before picking up the diaper.

"Alright kid. Let's put a diaper back on you and wash your sheets."

*****

I hope you liked it. This is a little different from what I usually write but I hope you still enjoyed it!

I blame Aran's current concern for giving me this idea along with the person who suggested I write Aran fluff. (As well as the seasoned wife I know who told her husband, "If I wasn't picking up your underwear, it means you're dead." lolll.)

I hope you stick around my blog to check out my other works! My current work in progress is a fake dating Suna series. I can't believe we're on chapter 10!

If anyone is interested, I have a Google form for my taglist.

[thimbil]

Having some thoughts about the references and inspirations used for the Bad Batch’s designs.

So Boba Fett is my absolute favorite character and Temeura Morrison was perfect casting. I went to see the 2008 TCW movie in theaters because I was so excited to see him again, even if he was animated. You can imagine my disappointment. Whoever was on screen was not Temeura Morrison. You could sort of see a resemblance if you squinted and didn’t think too hard about it. They replaced Temeura with Racially Ambiguous G.I. Joe. If I didn’t know better and someone told me the animated clones are space Italians from the moon of New Jersey I would buy it. One Million Brothers Pizzeria and Italian Bistro. Not that there’s something wrong with being space Italian, I just don’t think it’s the right choice for the Fetts. The design got slightly improved by season 7 but it still bugs the hell out of me.

I did eventually get into the show later and (of course) got invested in the clones. Unfortunately, they were largely sidelined by the Jedi storylines. Out of the two new main characters created for TCW, Ahsoka definitely got more development and focus than Rex. When they announced The Bad Batch, I was excited to see a show specifically devoted to the clones… at least that’s what it said on the tin. We have all seen what lurks beneath those stylish helmets.

Jango Fett, you are NOT the father.

So who is?

Based on interviews with Filoni, it sounds like the Bad Batch was a George Lucas idea. And like all his ideas, it’s super derivative. The original trilogy directly lifted elements from sci fi serials, westerns, and samurai movies, more specifically Kurosawa films like The Hidden Fortress. For The Bad Batch character designs, the influence is obviously American action and adventure movies.

Now let’s get specific. Bad Batch, who’s your daddy?

Hunter

Sylvester Stallone as Rambo in First Blood 1982. That bandana has become an integral part of the iconic action hero look. You see a character wearing one and it’s a visual shorthand for either “this character is a tough guy” like Billy played by Sonny Landham in Predator 1987, or “this character thinks he is/wants to be a tough guy” like Brand played by Josh Brolin in The Goonies 1985 or Edward Frog played by Corey Feldman in The Lost Boys 1987.

Hunter’s model is closest to the original clone base. If you look closely you will see the eyebrows are straighter with a much lower angle to the arch. His nose is also not the same shape as a standard clone like Rex, including a narrower bridge. It’s certainly not Temeura Morrison’s nose. Remember what I said about space Italians? It didn’t take much to push the existing clone design to resemble an specific Italian man instead of a specific Māori man. The 23&Me came back, and Hunter inherited more than the bandana from Sylvester.

Crosshair

The long narrow nose, the sharp cheekbones, the scowl. That’s no clone, that’s just animated Clint Eastwood. Not even Young and Hot Clint Eastwood from Rawhide 1959-1965. With that hair, I’m talking Gran Torino 2008. The man of few words schtick and family friendly toothpick in lieu of cigar are pure Eastwood as The Man With No Name from Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns A Fist Full of Dollars 1964, For a Few Dollars More 1965, and The Good the Bad and the Ugly 1966.

In a way, this is full circle because the actor Jeremy Bulloch took inspiration from Clint Eastwood for his performance as Boba Fett in ESB.

Wrecker

In an interview Filoni lists the Hulk as an (obvious) inspiration for Wrecker. Ever seen the old Hulk tv show from 1978? Well take a look at the actor who played him, Lou Ferrigno. Would you look at that. Even has his papa’s nose.

You could make the argument that Wrecker was influenced by The Rock, an appropriately buff ‘n bald Polynesian (Samoan, not Maori) man. But look at him next his Fast and Furious costar Vin Diesel and tell me which one resembles Wrecker’s character model more.

Tech

Tech is a little trickier for me to place. If he has a more direct inspiration it must be something I haven’t seen. That said, his hairline is very Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard 1988. His quippiness and large glasses remind me of Shane Black as Hawkins from Predator 1987. In terms of his face, he looks a but like the result of McClane and Hawkins deciding to settle down and start a family. Although, Tech’s biggest contributors are probably just everyone on TV Trope’s list for Smart People Wear Glasses.

And finally,

Echo

Oh Echo. Considering he wasn’t created for the Bad Batch, he probably wasn’t based on a particular character or movie. But if I had to guess, his situation and appearance remind me a lot of Alex Murphy played by Peter Weller in Robocop 1987. However, Robocop explored the Man or Machine Identity Crisis with more nuance, depth, and dignity. Yikes.

The exact tropes and references used in The Bad Batch have been done successfully with characters who aren’t even human. Gizmo from Gremlins 2: The New Batch 1990 had a brief stint with the Rambo bandana. I could have picked any number of characters for Defining Feature Is Glasses but here is the most cursed version of Simon of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Suffer as I have. Marc Antony with his beloved Pussyfoot from Looney Tunes has the same tough guy with a soft center vibe as Wrecker and his Lula (also a kind of cat). Hell, in the same show we have Cad Bane sharing Cowboy Clint Eastwood with Crosshair. I actually think Bane makes a better Eastwood which is wild considering Crosshair has Eastwood’s entire face and Bane is blue.

So we’ve established you don’t need your characters to look exactly like their inspirations to match their vibe. So why go through the trouble and cost of creating completely new character designs instead of recycling and altering assets they already had on hand? Just slap on a bandana, toothpick, goggles, and make Wrecker bigger than the others while he does a Hulk pose and you’re done. Based on the general reaction to Howzer it would have been a low effort slam dunk crowd pleaser.

But they didn’t do that.

So here’s the thing. I like the tropes used in The Bad Batch. I am a fan of action adventure movies from the 80s-90s, the sillier the better. I am part of the Bad Batch’s target audience. Considering what I know about Disney and Lucasfilm, I went in with low expectations. I genuinely don’t hate the idea of seeing references to these actors and media in The Bad Batch. I don’t think basing these characters on tropes was a bad idea. If anything it’s a solid starting point for building the characters.

The trouble is nothing got built on the foundation. The plot is directionless, the pacing is wacky, and the characters have nearly no emotional depth or defining character arcs. They just sort of exist without reacting much while the story happens around them. But I can excuse all of that. You don’t stay a fan of Star Wars as long as I have not being able to cherrypick and fill in the gaps. This show has a deeper issue that shouldn’t be ignored.

Why do the animated clones bear at best only a passing resemblance to their live action actor? In interviews, Filoni wouldn’t shut up but the technological advancements in the animation for season 7. So if they are updating things, why not try to make the clones a closer match to their source material? Why did they have to look like completely different people in The Bad Batch to be “unique”? Looking like Temeura Morrison would have no bearing on their special abilities and TCW proved you can have identical looking characters and still have them be distinct. In fact, that’s a powerful theme and the source of tragedy for the clones’ narrative overall.

Here’s Filoni’s early concept art of Crosshair, Wrecker, Tech, and Hunter. (Interesting but irrelevant: Wrecker seems to have a cog tattoo similar to Jesse’s instead of a scar. Wouldn’t it have been funny if they kept that so when they met in season 7 one if them could say something like “Hey we’re twins!” That’s a little clone humor. Just for you guys 😘)

None of these drawings look like the clones in TCW, much less Temeura Morrison. Let’s be generous. Maybe Filoni struggles with drawing a real person’s likeness, as many people do. But he had to hand this off to other artists down the line whose job specifically involves making a stylized character resemble their actor. Yet the final designs missed the mark almost as much as this initial concept. Starting to seem as if the clones looking more like Temeura Morrison was never even on the table. It wasn’t a lack of creativity, skill or technical limitations on the part of the creative team. I don’t think there is an innocent explanation. They went out of their way to make the final product exactly how we got it.

This goes beyond homage. They could have made the same pop culture references and character tropes without completely stripping Temeura Morrison from the role he originated. It was a very purposeful choice to replace him with more immediately familiar actors from established franchises and films. It wouldn’t shock me if Filoni, Lucas, and anyone else calling the shots didn’t even think hard or care enough about the decision to immediately recognize a problem. And I don’t think they believed anyone else would either. At least no one whose opinion they cared about. Those faces are comfortingly familiar and proven bankable. They are what we’re all used to seeing after all. They’re white.

Lack of imagination, bad intentions, or simple ignorance doesn’t really matter in the end. The result is the same. Call it what it is. They replaced a man of color with a bunch of white guys. That’s by the book garden variety run of the mill whitewashing. There’s no debate worth having about it. For a fanbase that loves to nitpick things like whether or not it’s in character for Han to shoot first or Jeans Guy in the Mandalorian, we sure are quick to find excuses for clones who look nothing like their template. Why is that? If you don’t see the problem, congratulations. Your ass is showing. Pull your jeans up.

[that-bitch-kat3]

kats initial ttpd thoughts

fortnight:

stand out lines: i took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary

i like this one. i don’t think it’s my favorite (or i hope it won’t be) but i think the production does do it for me. i was honestly hoping that “i love you it’s ruining my life” would have been in a… better (?) song. this will undoubtedly grow on me but not a great start.

ttpd:

standout lyric: “i’ve seen this episode and still loved the show”

okay “who uses typewriters anyways” is objectively a really funny line. “i’ve seen this episode and still loved the show” im screaming crying and throwing up how dare you put that lyric in a song i have to listen to.

on a different note who tf are dylan thomas and patti smith? am i meant to know these people?

oh my god. the way charlie puth is about to have his career explode. this poor man. i hope he was warned.

CYCLONE!! CONEY ISLAND!!!

oh i like this bridge. also lucy as in lucy dacus?

i’m trying not to be a hater but taylor “now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon” couldn’t have come up with a more poetic way to say you put my ring on the finger where people put wedding rings? fr? is this about marty healy? i hope to god it’s not.

mbobhft:

stand out lyrics: “once i fix me he’s gonna miss me” and “there was forever in the heat of my touch, he say forever so he smashed it up”

i was ready to not like this one but im kinda into it. the line “i’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me” is… not something i am ready to unpack. this is a really good song and i will probs have it on repeat for a while but i stg if i don’t hear a song about joe soon im gonna be pissed

down bad:

standout lyric: jury’s still out

this song was not written by a 33 year old. jesus christ. taylor please. STAND UP. THIS IS BAD FOR THE BRAND!! however as a 19 year old: real af.

you loved his indecent exposures? interesting.

this is once again giving situationship. which is insane because JOE WAS HERE FOR 6 YEARS?!? WE DONT GET TO HEAR ABOUT THAT?!? i mean like she is entitled to her privacy but never in my life did i want to hear this much about marty healy

so long london:

stand out lyric: “i didn’t opt in to be your odd man out. i founded the club she’s heard great things about” “you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”

not the production i was expecting from a track 5 but ill keep and open mind.

fairy lights mentioned!! ttpd bingo moment

i like this bridge tbh. it kinda fucks. “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues” taylor wtf?

two graves one gun?!? oh wow! very melodramatic and i love it

this song is good. very sad so great job! killed it! i’m not crying yet tho

but daddy i love him:

stand out lyrics: Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all

HEYY RELIGOUS TRAUMA VIBES?!? FUCK YEAH!! FINALLY SOME GOOD RELATEBLE CONTENT!!

this is so champagne problems vibes

“im having his baby! no im not but you should see your face” BAHHAHA taylor wtf

i was hoping for more religious trauma energy than what i got. i had high hopes with that first verse

OMG WHAT?!? MAAM?!? “ID RATHER BURN MY WHOLE LIFE DOWN THAN LISTEN TO ONE MORE SECOND OF ALL THIS BITCHIN AND MOANIN” GIRLY YOUR “BABY” IS ANTISEMEIC?

okay this song is now just funny to me. deeply i would’ve kept this one in the vault but it’ll grow on me

fresh out the slammer:

stand out lyric: n/a

we are starting with the lowest of standards for the record. i do not have a good vibe from this song

its fine. liek it’s not revolutionary to me. like its okay but… why does this beat change like that and did the long prison metaphor help? i think not.

however yeah bring up that he didn’t propose again. love that for you

florida!!!

stand out lyric: well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time

!! what!! “they said i was a cheat so i guess i must be” ARENT YOU THE ONE WHO WRITE IVY AND HIGH INFEDELITY?!? WHAT?!? i am giggling so hard. taylor what are you saying?!?

this song reminded how much i love florence! i mean that woman can really sing

nbnc reference! that was not on my bingo card!

texas mentioned!! slay!!

i love this song. like i fr really like this one. the drums are a bit much but i love how their voices work together! delicious

guilty as sin?

standout lyric: “there no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk” “i keep recalling things we never did”

i like how this one sounds

this song is really good! and bestie i get it! yikes!

this song is really for the girlies who make up fake scenarios to hurt their own feelings and i feel seen

false god references(?)

well terrible job everyone that was a bit too relatable! thanks! i’m going to throw up! or scream! or cry!

who’s afraid of little old me?

standout lyric: “you don’t get to tell me about sad” “is it a wonder i broke let’s hear one more joke” “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

yay!! she’s doing witchcraft again!! thank god!! levitate queen!!

you should be afraid of little old me was not what i was expecting from this song! but i like it! also i am enjoying this production

“so tell me everything isnt about me but what if it is?” HAHAHH TAYLOR WHAT IS THIS?!?

no taylro they say that you’ll sue them they prublish public information about your plane! so close tho!

jokes aside i like this! this one’s gonna be in my tops i think! it reminds me of tlgad which is one love

i can fix him (no really i can)

standout lyric: “he had a halo of the highest grade, he just hasn’t met me yet”

texas mentioned again!! a win is a win

another song about matty healy?!? must we?!? are we sure? this is proof that any relationship pain is overshadowed by a 3 month situationship

loml: “better safe than starry eyed”

mmm im liking this one!

damn marriage is brought up a lot in the album for someone who wrote lavendar haze

i like that there is the love of my life to loss of my life switch! i was worried she abrievated that for no reason

still alive, killing time at the cemetery is a great line!!

!!! oh!! i wish i could unrecall how we almost had it all! i didn’t think i would like that lyric!! i in fact do.

icdiwabh:

standout lyric: “babe you gotta fake it till you make it and you did”

THIS SONG IS SO GOOD!! OH SHIT

okay now this is my shit. i like how she’s taking about her success and shit

i cry a lot but i am so productive it’s an art is so real

“try and come for my job” yikes.

the smallest man who every lived

standout lyric: “i would’ve died for your sins but i died inside”

this one isn’t doing it for me so far. i’m sure it’ll grow on me but idk it’s not killing it for me.

DID SHE JUST CALL HIS DICK SMALL?!? HELLO?!? good lord i hope that’s what that meant

“you kicked out the stage lights but your still preforming?!?” GOOD LORD TAYLOR! it’s so jover

The alchemy:

standout lyric: “he jokes that it’s heroin but this time with an E”

i had to listen to this song twice cause i could just not lay attention

AYO ITS TRAVIS!! god the next album is gonna have so many football metaphors that i will not understand

this is really cute! i’m on team trayvis

clara bow:

standout lyric: promise to be dazzling

cool! now i’m sad!

as a girl who tries to be something exciting but feels like she never gets there this is very yikes! greta job gang

DID SHE JUST SAY HER OWN NAME?!? SHE NEVER DONE THAT

OH MY GOD

YOUVE GOT EDGE SHE NEVER DID

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

the black dog:

standout lyric:

i am scared!

oh shit! who cheated on taylor?!?

oh wait. maybe that’s not true

i love old habits die screaming! tahts a funky line. i know we already had it but im a fan

!! hoax reference!!

!!daylight reference!!

oh joe. that poor man. they’re gonna kill him.

this is putting a sad spin on some of my fav songs so that’s cool

imgonnagetyouback:

standout lyric: “pick your poison babe, i’m poison either way”

did we need to do this in one word

OH MY GOD

SHE MAKING THE SAME THING AS GET HIM BACK BY OLIVIA RODRGIO

now i personally would’ve rewritten this one or picked a different song but this is a choice

this is a worse versions of get him back! imo

eras fading to gray is a crazy line!

the albatross:

standout lyric: “the devil you know now looks more like and angel”

this is kinda giving cowboy like me vibes but with more unnecessary vocal effects but that does in fact mean that i like it

peace reference?!

idk im into this one i think

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus:

standout lyric: all of them <3

my god this is a long title

oh my god. did she just out joe alywn? what? that can’t be what just happened

“you needed me but you needed drugs more” IM THROWING UP HOW DARE YOU

nobody touch me

“if you want to break my cold cold heart, just say i loved you. the way that you were” okay so now i am crying! hey! tahts cool! in other news put me on watch

this is one of my tops

you can tell cause i’m depressed now

maroon reference!!

okay so i will never recover congrats everyone!

how did it end?

standout lyric: “we learned the right steps to different dances”

i feel invasive listening to this. i didn’t want to hear about matty anymore but this is a lot.

this song is good but sweet lord. this is really sad. which i should’ve guessed but this is not what i was expecting

“D-Y-I-N-G” that was not how i thought that line was gonna end

so high school:

standout lyric: idk man they’re all cute

is this another one about travis?!? yay!!

awww she want to marry him! that’s so exciting!! and also maybe kill him but we do what we can

this is really cute

i’m glad she got this back! cause this is giving very fearless vibes which is perfect! i love that! i love that she’s having the sweet love again! and i’m so glad im not listening about matty! cause that man if the gift that won’t stop giving. no matter what i do. he just won’t.

i hate it here:

standout lyric: “No mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears” “when they found a better planet only the gentle survive”

second time bringing up being a precocious child! not something i thought we would get twice!

this song feels like it’s right off folklore

GIRL WHAT!?! “I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid” this is why no one wanted to play with you as a little kid

oh yikes now i’m relating

“i get lost on purpose. this place made me feel worthless” crying in the club once again

she really had to fight not to call him a finance bro

thank you aimee

stand out lyric: “Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead”

go to jail just for the capitalization

i feel like im missing something

is amiee real? is she a metaphor? is it someone from the rep era? i’m lost

if this is 15 year old beef that is amazing.

“there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you” oh lol that’s so funny.

thank god taylor changed the name! cause otherwise they would kill her!

“and one day your kid comes home singing a song that only us two is gonna know so about you” oh that’s so good. you see i like taylor better when she’s being petty over decade old shit. it makes her more relatable

i look in peoples windows

stand out lyric: “i’m afflicted by the not knowing” “im addicted to the if only”

i love this.

is this the new shortest song in her discography? it’s gotta be. it’s like 2 minutes long

anyways. relatable. killin it

the prophecy:

stand out lyric: “Don't want money just someone who wants my company”

finally a song i can relate to! you know cause im psychic?

“I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope a greater woman wouldn't beg” yikes

oh no. i’m gonna cry. you see now im reminded of why i feel like im never enough. so cool 🤙

witchcraft again!! yay!!

what is gray-ge? gray/beige? was that already a word?

cassandra:

standout lyric: “what does kill you makes you aware. what happens if it becomes who you are”

bffr taylor does not patch cracks in her house

sorry i know tahts a metaphor, allow me to start by being less of a hater

oh i love a call back to the 2016 era. yikes

“BLOODS THICK BUT NOTHING LIKE A PAYROLL” HOLY FUCK WHAT?!?

“when its burn the bitch they’re shrieking, when the truth comes out they’re quiet” lol relatable

peter:

standout lyric: “we both did the best we could do underneath the name moon in different galaxies”

who is peter? very excting!

oh it’s peter pan! that’s cute!

is this about joe? i’m confused? i have no idea who this is about

i liek the piano! i like this more stripped back version

great bridge!

“cause love's never lost when perspective is earned” HEY BRO WHAT

the bolter: “she was leaving it felt like breathing”

standout lyric:

omg hey she wrote a song about me! jk it just started idk what this is

oh no

i cant do this right now

okay so no comment but yeah very relatable! cool! (except i’m not really a bolter now that i think about it. i just think i am. i’m actually not a quitter. im a stick with it person even when maybe i should bolt.)

robin:

stand out lyric: “you have no room in your head for regrets”

i like these a lot better than the first part of this album. i actually can’t tell if it’s a double release or not but i just like these more emotional songs more.

is she singing to her child self?!? is that what happening?!?

crying again.

the manuscript:

stand out lyric: looking backward might be the only way to move forward

my god this is a lot of songs! not complaining but i’m tired

okay i like the piano

“He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was soon they’d be pushing strollers” FUCKING HELLo?!? well now i’m in pain slay

this was not what i was expecting at all but let it be known i am crying and im not okay

this song really fucked me up guys