#I already know I’m stupid about it
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Hearing science talk makes me wonder how it was back then, because it feels like you could just say shit that makes no sense and they would all give a polite golf clap and call it a historic discovery
E = mc^2 ??
Oh yeah, well the force at the apex is equivalent to the velocity during impact 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
#silly#silly goofy#I don’t know science#I understand that it makes sense#but not to me#so don’t try to explain#I already know I’m stupid about it#physics makes me cry#so does statistics#unrelated but I was thinking about it#how do they know?#can you tell the school system failed me#because it did#you have the right idea but the wrong bitch
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i really do think there’s a huge disconnect on here w/ people who have never used tiktok as to what it actually is and who actually uses it. the number of people i’ve seen call it a “teen dancing app” is actually insane. it has not been a teen dancing app since i was in high school, around 2016 - 2020. the main communities i saw on a daily basis were 1) black history/anti-racism educators, 2) high school & college teachers sharing in-classroom strategies and frustrations with the education system, 3) local/state political leaders giving real-time updates on behind-the-scenes government decisions, & 4) community activism & leadership. like tiktok is an adult platform. almost every person i interacted with was my age or older. and yes it completely depends on your fyp and how you interact with the app, yes there’s still teenagers and dance videos and literally anything else you can think of. but these communities of adults aren’t insubstantial at all, they have literally millions of interactions on a daily basis. there’s about a million other types of communities that i could name just off the top of my head, because the range of users was SO diverse and thriving. it’s a long-distance community tool, just like any other social media—and honestly much better than any other social media, because it relies primarily on the kindness of strangers. i saw at least 5-10 videos today of queer people in rural areas panicking because they don’t have any access to queer community on any other platform or in real life. and before i end this i do want to say i think tiktok is coming back, i think this is a highly orchestrated political move, etc., but i do know it won’t ever be exactly the same. people are panicking about free speech violations because tiktok was a place where people fucking SPEAK. i have never seen mass mobilization and communication in this same way for as long as i’ve been alive. it is the people’s app, not just a silly teenage thing. if you’re not on tiktok and never have been, please stop talking about it like you know anything at all😭
#idec if i look stupid for these posts i am fucking Mad#it’s not about doomscrolling. be so fr. i’ve had a time limit on for years and i’ve done perfectly fine#people’s jobs were on this app. small businesses were on this app. fucking CULTURE was on this app#project willow? bisan in gaza? like this is the most interconnected and fast-moving source of news we have#literally straight from the ground. from the places where it’s happening#i know i can still read news. that’s not the problem.#the problem is that i have nowhere else to see the videos from my minnesota legislator who’s been giving daily updates on the republican#coup in the house of representatives. like. do you see the problem.#not to mention half the news sites are paywalled anyway.#and i saw someone say that this forces us to foster irl community which is true again. but you can still have irl community at the same time#as long-distance virtual community????#my best friends are long distance. if all social media went dark i could never talk to them again.#like we are in the fucking 21st century. we should be able to have both.#anyway. sorry for all the ranting lately except i’m really not because i am fucking PISSED#i’ll be on rednote and youtube for a while except neither of them are really the same.#genuinely nothing was like tiktok fr. i miss it already#tiktok#tiktok ban
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Barok the physically affectionate my beloved
#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#barok van zieks#albert harebrayne#benbaro#tgaa#dgs#my art#god I just…love Barok acting ways you wouldn’t expect. I love emotionally deprived Barok who doesn’t realize how much he missed genuine -#human interaction and love so he once he has someone who can give that to him he can’t stop himself from holding them in the most gentle yet#yearning way possible.#I want him to hold and be held#I want him to keep that stupid doomed look on his face but his heart be so filled with life and love and show it through his actions#I want Barok to be continue being the man he’s become but also the man he was. an equilibrium. a balance#I want this man to cave and give in to the horrors again but this time have people by his side. and for him to trust those people. let them-#help and comfort and support him. I want him to feel LOVED#we’re already told that Barok has a different side to him other then the ‘reaper’ and I want to see more of it#okay this started off bc I wanted to draw silly doodles of Barok carrying Albert but then I started thinking about Barok showing#physical affection and I WENT OFF THE WALLS#this is how I know BenBaro is a TOP TIER ship bc I simply love all interpretations. like the ones where either one or both of them don’t-#like physical touch and rather show their love with words/actions and show their appreciation simply by being IS SO GOOD!!!#they are just so good!!! the game shows just enough and not enough to were you can really be versatile with your interpretations and it work#also maybe I’m touch starved?
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man. do you ever think about how Jamie’s introduction comes with so much survivor’s guilt just following Culloden, Jimmy, and Alexander & how he grew and healed in the Doctor’s company, and how his final story is just confronting him with that guilt over and over and over as he’s called a deserter time and again………..
#I know the war games is already really parallel to Zoe/Jamie introductions just because it’s a finale so that’s how it’ll go#and I already wrote a stupid fic about Jamie and his conflict over calling himself a deserter#AND one abt Steven/sara cuz I’m a lil unoriginal#but just. that he lost so much & then left so abruptly. looking at the slave war. the glorious rev.#and the Roundheads!!! ouaghhh#that which went away..!!! just everything he does and how he acts and he changes and heals a bit yes but then#he just get slammed with it over and over in the war games#doctor who#jamie mccrimmon#the war games#whatever I don’t care#😊
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if we are adapting mediocre musicals for the screen now is it too much to ask for legally blonde the musical the movie. is it too much to ask that this happen and also is not directed by john m chu
#can we get greta gerwig to do it. i know i’ve shit talked her a LOT but this project is ALREADY stupid so it’s not a concern here#and i’m just ken looked better than any of the musical numbers in wicked……#i feel like this is realistic actually. she has questionable taste and is happy to work the IP mines#greta… if you’re reading this…. just think about it….#i’m sure you’re busy with the narnia thing…. but after………#in case it’s not clear i love legally blonde the musical#it’s like…. the kind of musical i mostly don’t like…. but pitched just right in tone where i can have fun with it#the book is like almost astonishingly bad bc it’s very lazy#and it’s literally just like ‘what if the screenplay of legally blonde but just not as good?’#but that’s fixable
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luther: the golden child
diego: the mastermind
allison: the peace keeper
klaus: the clown / mascot
five: the rebel / truth teller
ben: the lost child
viktor: the scapegoat
is this something i think this is something
#the umbrella academy#rani makes text posts no one will read#hargreeves siblings#ben being the lost child is kind of forced bc he’s dead but i find it interesting even then#bc ben was unique in the family for already hating being a superhero and his powers due to the horror of them. and however it is he died#it had to be horrific bc viktor doesn’t write about it in his book bc five doesn’t know what happened. and before he died ben’s unique self#awareness seems to have meant they all loved him in a normal way only for his death to poison those bonds completely#so through no decision of his own this very sullen and cranky child has to become a self sacrificing wallflower bc the only way he gets to#even exist is if he takes care of klaus and tries to sober him up. his big moment is sacrificing himself for his siblings! they can’t ever#escape the abuse that reginald heaped onto them!! even in death they’re playing roles reginald forced them into#and sparrow ben is clearly so used to being the manipulator so he’s thrown when his family dies and sloane refuses to be manipulated anymore#and he winds up kind of lost child esque accidentally *anyway* - ignored and repressing his feelings and unable to connect emotionally#also before anyone says diego is too stupid to be the mastermind google ‘the mastermind dysfunctional family role’ it doesn’t require you to#not be a himbo only to be willing to be cruel & as they all say in s1 diego never knows when to stop#pogo is an adult enabler. grace has a weird function bc the umbrella kids love her and diego is convinced she killed reginald bc of abuse#five seems similarly attached to her (makes sense given delores) but the others see her more as an enabler which is INTERESTING#i’m gonna stop rambling now
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Lolll uh no progress update today (daily streak is broken 💀) ‘cause I had much going on and then got distracted by some awesome people who I was grateful to have my time taken up by 🫡 We will get back to it tomorrow yahoo!
#thwwichphantomthief#ooohh interesting sort of dynamic happening right now#in the sense that my writing has taken me into more spaces in the fandom#which subsequently takes up the time I’d normally use for writing#which I mean to me it’s not a bad thing lmao cuz I’m really really enjoying getting to know more people here#just crazy to think this started with me just… writing a thing and posting it on ao3#especially since the first chapter was the result of a sudden burst of inspiration and literally only a few days from start to publish#I had barely any idea of what it would be at that point#nor did I think I would continue doing saiou stuff#and now here I am fourish months later and I want to do this forever 🫡#probably can’t because motivation will run dry eventually of course#but I just am really enjoying where this stupid long and dramatic fic has gotten me#idk I’m almost getting emotional thinking about it#erghhhh kiwi is a crybaby it’s okay 😖#talking to like minded people is just such a pleasure#coming from someone who’s had such a hard time making friends her whole life this is so new#to have people talk with me because they want to#I’m ahhh socially inept if that wasn’t already very clear#never known how to talk to people#and I never realized that getting to talk to people without the pressure of showing my voice/face would feel so like freeing#I truly am just discovering what the internet is like rn and it’s overwhelming and wonderful at the same time#and I’m liking the journey so far#hoping ahhh that continues but I’m aware things aren’t always so pristine and ideal all the time#just will enjoy it while I have it!#oof sorry for long tags lmao it’s longer than the post 🤣
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going into my final week of classes and we always have one last week after the final paper (so the professors have time for grading) where typically the only work we have is one last discussion post.
usually, this post is pretty simple and light (to go easy on us after the final). my ethics class is like “summarize your conclusions from your final paper! :)” and my communications class is like “tell the class about your career goals! :)”
meanwhile, statistics…

#which is very easy - it’s just FUNNY#you thought we were done learning new material after the final? THINK AGAIN!!!!!!!!#READ THE PYTHON SCRIPT AND WEEP#no but stats was my favorite class this semester…#i still wanna take stats II but i haven’t decided for sure yet#it’s a lot of work but it’s very straightforward work#as opposed to my environmental and communications courses that involve a lot of opinion#which is fine but can be really tiring when the thing they want my opinion about is stupid or repetitive#like. FOUR courses made me take that one environmental footprint calculator quiz…#FOUR SEPARATE COURSES#and it’s like. i’m not saying it’s not important - but i GET IT!!!!!!!#at this point it’s just a waste of my time - teach me something i don’t already know!#i definitely should have taken a different online program but that’s beside the point#it’ll even out once i get my master’s#and i’m ultimately happy to have had the ‘broader’ education of environmental science (with a communication minor)#bc i think that’ll serve me better in management later in my career#even if it makes early career stuff more difficult
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@honey-dont :’) I haven’t considered that actually. Unfortunately I don’t think it would do much, since the fandom is so small and since i’d have to essentially act like i’m a different person for jonah to not know it’s me. It’s a kind suggestion but i’m not interested in starting over or hiding myself like that. ill just keep figuring it out
#as messed up as my feelings around this blog now are i still like what i built here. remaking would be like.. giving that up. or at least#feel that way idk. what would i even make my url. I could never give up isabelguerra ;_; i’m just adjusting to it i guess. ty though david#replies#honeydont#i know youre not exactly the person to talk to abt this and i respect that but i even feel#weird talking about izjo on here now. me. the izjo guy.#i know its stupid and unserious but after a friend sent me the things he said they just keep buzzing around my head.#I was already shy about shipping them or talking about it publicly which I also thought was dumb. what was someone gonna do?#throw rocks at me for shipping two characters? that would be ridiculous i thought. nobody acts like that anymore i thought.#don’t think of the pnat fanbase so lowly i thought. surely we’ve all learned after the exodus of 2018.#nobody would be visibly cruel over something so silly i thought. shame on me for fearing as such so irrationally.#dear reader you would not believe what happened
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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#cat creech#cat creech is my vent tag i think. block it if you don’t want my venting#venting in these tags pls ignore this post if you don’t want to read vent#I feel like I don’t care about stories enough. I don’t read books watch movies or shows#the games I play I’ve already played before or have no story at all. I feel childish and trapped in familiarity#if I could slightly different versions of the same story over and over again I’d be happy. I don’t need stories at all it seems.#I even avoid it often. would opt for comedy or something baseless over a story.#and I wouldn’t be upset over this if I didn’t major in animation#I don’t want to be a director I don’t want to be a writer I don’t want to be in charge of story#but this stupid fucking school makes you do every part of the pipeline. I don’t read or watch anything so unsurprisingly my story is boring#my story for my thesis I mean. it’s uninspiring I’m not proud of it. and it’s changed so much from where it was in the beginning#it doesn’t even feel like mine anymore. I don’t like it and it’s not mine. I don’t want anything to do with it#and I think I realized that being a storyteller means having lessons to tell people or experiences to share#I don’t have either of those things. my life is uninteresting and I don’t learn from my mistakes. my mistakes themselves are boring#all my issues are boring and privileged. no one needs a story or lesson from me. what the fuck can I say that hasn’t been said#and even if I did have a story to tell I don’t want to? I don’t care to teach people or share my experience. that’s never been what art-#-was about for me. art is a selfish escape for me. nothing more. nothing artsy feely or intellectual. ‘why do you draw’ idk it’s fun#I remember old classes where people answered why theyre artists. everyone had interesting answers and here i was-#- I said because it’s fun. like a fucking childish moron. never should have pursued art as a job. you have to want to be an artist to make-#a living from it. I don’t want to be an artist. I just am one as a byproduct of drawing. not the same thing.#I don’t even want to fucking animate anymore. I don’t know what the fuck happened to me but I hate it I hate it so much#I miss when making art wasn’t a task or a job or homework. I really fucking do#I’m tearing up#anyway#weasel speaks#vent
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#one of my silly little goals this year is to talk more about my accomplishments even though they aren’t super recent#I’m tired of resigning myself to being a burnt out former gifted kid. I studied at Oxford for a term.#I taught a college class. I TA’d for two other college classes. and volunteer TA’d for the department’s hardest course offering#because I was already being used as a TA that semester for a different class and the professor still wanted someone to run review sessions#I had professors fighting over me to do work and research for them! I had departments fighting over me! I did summer research!#I was the first person in my department in nearly a decade to ask to do a senior thesis. for fun.#I ran programs and clubs and I was a writing tutor for the writing center AND the resume lab/career center#I was the only person in my writing professor’s tenure to earn a 100 on my research paper for that stupid fucking class#in high school I was second in my class and did it while writing one-act plays for production and doing district choirs and acting#I’m so so so tired of beating myself up and falling to my knees and doing penance for the past 4 years.#I fumbled some stuff at the start of my 20’s. I’m an adult with ADHD that no one clocked while I was growing up.#I was supposed to go to St Andrews for an MLitt and then the pandemic happened and I had to withdraw.#I just need to get over it and stop agonizing over every misstep I’ve made since college#otherwise I’m never going to make it out of my 20’s alive#so yeah. for those of you who don’t know! I am a silly cumdrunk braindead good girl PART-TIME#the rest of the time I’m clawing my way back to the high standards I set for myself from first grade onward#my stuff#ignore me i’m rambling
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guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.
#I also had a conversation with my friend about if he had to wear a suit why would he#We discussed for a very long while(6 minutes) and the discussion was very enlightening#Slowly turning painis into a functional human in society…#Except you know he eats people that isn’t really stuff normal people do#this is a joke btw#I think he would pay his taxes but if the tax people are rude to him he wouldn’t#I think it really depends#Does he even have any taxes to pay? Because he doesn’t have a job I assume so he doesn’t have any money#But theoretically if he’s like working for another freak and he’s getting paid or something#Idk guys I might be going a little bit bonkers… he’s helping me get out of art block at least#Oh I hope all these tags don’t accidentally show up in another tag that would be bad I’ve seen that happen#I’ve already typed so much though#It’d be funny if there was painis angst because I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously because his name is penis basically#Why am I only saying painis I’m going to tag him anyway#Painis cupcake#there#alright anyways painis cupcake angst would be fucking hilarious imo#My professional opinion#Mmhmmm I’m a professional in being stupid#My friends will call me spedpool on hallowen#I took 2 yardsticks in stem and I pretended to be said guy in the red suit I don’t want to tag him because I don’t want someone to#Find this unhinged rant about painis cupcake that got way off track woah#Ok continuing on the painis rant#I can’t draw him with pencil for some reason he looks so weird#I can draw soldeir just fine with pencil probably even better than online but whenever I try to draw painis he looks like a pile of dog shi#A moist pile the kind that would make steam if it’s cold outside#I feel like it he tried painis cupcake would really be a great functional citizen#Oh wow I wrote a lot my bad
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I swear I’m not a mean mom, my kid really and truly asked me for a multiplication math workbook for Christmas because he’s bored doing adding and subtracting with his class. I got him cool gifts, too, I swear.

#like he already knows his 12 times so I don’t really know how much he’ll get from this#but I wasn’t ready to by my first grader a fucking algebra workbook#although he DID solve for x the other day#his dad and I just 😳#like bro….you’re the youngest kid in your grade…..#why you doing math that the oldest kids in your SCHOOL aren’t even doing???#I love him so much#you wanna learn math baby? here’s your handmade 12x table for your room. here’s a math workbook. let’s recite equations in the car together#he’s going to surpass my math knowledge by the time he’s 9#and not because I’m stupid or bad at math but just because he’s got this insane mind for numbers#sometimes he’ll work through problems out loud and it is fucking FASCINATING listening to his thought process#kids are so cool#asks them to talk their way through something#it’s a fascinating insight into how they see the world and will tell you so much about them#personal#bilbobawks#parenting#kids#math
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🌷
#‘If you don't want to answer’ anon#yeah it’s a bit to early to talk about it and knowing this fandom it probably will never be the right time either#i tend to agree with you because I’m that sort of person that stands up for others when I feel there is something wrong going on#i like to confront people and I like to make things very clear#knowing this about myself I always struggle when the others dont do the same#and yeah if you keep Louis out of the equation#as you said he suffered from it too but still took the chance to speak up#(even if his fans are nasty and mostly stupid and i tell that with any possible intention of sounding rude and pretentious)#so you know his words fell a but unheard because that rage and hate kept going#i tend to agree with you on that#but they don’t ever talk or take any position like ever#it’s frustrating because you can’t take actions and try your best to soothe such strong negative emotions#and the fact they didn’t and never do… yeah it’s disappointing but also not really?#cause i don’t expect them too yk?#i think that if they were aware of what was going on now they are now already guilty tripping#i hope they’re taking care now but also i hope this is some sort of wake up call#to stop such waves of criticism and anger towards someone unreasonably#and just show support and do whatever you can to protect humanity#with kindness and respect. not only with words you know
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HELP the Asakura hyperfixation is getting so bad that I just researched POCD for like 2 hours straight-
I’ve already spent several days scouring the internet for any traces of Asakura content. There’s. Not a lot. This is my genius workaround to get infinite Asakura hyperfixation material
#nitro+chiral#slow damage#asakura kazuki#kazuki asakura#yes I have already done research on POCD for him-#I’m just doing it again#you know what next time I’m gonna just get out my DSM5 and read the entire OCD section#it’s kind of stupid that I’m becoming very knowledgeable about this disorder but it’s because of a yaoi game
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