#I THINK OF THAT SHOW AND ALL I CAN RECALL IS THE ADULT VERSION

[jrueships]

GIGI IS ADORABLE! luv the way you draw him! he reminds me of stimpy

from ren and stimpy

anon i adore u and ty!!!!! <3 awwq!!!!!

but also. im gonna kill you

[trivia-yandere]

Hi!!!! Okay, first of all, I'm in love with your writing!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕And I was wondering (I've never done a story request so if it is horrible, please just ignore it 😅) but I was wondering if you could write a story of maybe yandereboyfriend/friend jungkook kinda forces older (not heaps but like 2-5 years older but shes just shy and confused when it comws to sex and intimacy) reader to loose her virginity to him and she likes it at the end?? If this is super uncomfortable, please don't even think about it 😅😶‍🌫️👉👈 or if you wanna do something completely different, I'd love your writing anyways!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕

hello! yes I can :) thank you for sending a request and being so patient! i feel like this yandere is more light than the usual lol

best friends!

jungkook doesn't like the idea of you wanting to loose your virginity to anyone that wasn't him. @momnomnom @sweetempathprunetree @darkuni63 @minshookie29 idol version

word count: 6.100

warning: naive/shy reader, mentions of watching porn, childhood friends jungkook + reader, smut scenes, coercion, masturbation, manipulation, light yandere tedancies, jealous jungkook, dub-con moments, dry humping, kissing, nipple sucking, oral sex, loss of virginity, rough sex, dacryphilia, fingering, unprotected sex, spitting,

“You’ll never be able to seduce a man, Noona.” Jungkook laughs boisterously, causing your face to heat up. “You’re just too shy.”

Jungkook’s eyes watch as your arms cross over your chest, any self-confidence you had slowly falling. He hums, turning over on his bed to face you. He then places a hand on your thigh. “Noona…”

“Stop calling me that, Jungkook.” you murmur. He knows that you prefer to be called by your name, but he’d often ignore you because of how much he enjoys teasing you, even after years of friendship. 

“You’re upset with me.” says Jungkook.

“I’ve stopped calling you Kookie like you asked.”

Jungkook snorts. “That’s because the nickname doesn’t fit me anymore. I’m a man.” his hand squeezes your thigh. “Besides, I said stop calling me that in public. You and I are alone now.”

You and Jungkook have been friends since childhood, your father and his being great friends. The age difference never bothered you as much, and you’d often recall calling Jungkook your baby brother during his primary and middle school days - you having been homeschooled. It was when Jungkook grew in size and age and reached High School did he demand you stop calling him that but never gave a reason as to why.

Even now, as Jungkook and you are adults, the friendship remains. You went to him for whatever you thought you needed and he was there. Moving away from your father had been a big step and finding a job to support yourself was even bigger, but you were never truly alone because you had Jungkook - you and he living together.

Jungkook was the opposite of you. While your job consisted of you being home, he wasn’t. He made friends easily while you remained with a close knit circle. He was more social when needed and you often closed up around people you didn’t know. Most of your friends were Jungkook’s friends that he considered brothers - you recall asking him why he considered them family and not you. Jungkook didn’t give you any reason, stating that you’d never be a sister in his eyes, no matter if he knew you longer or not.

Now you and Jungkook lay in his bed, an action that he insisted on every so often, and watched tv. He’d often hold you, his breath tickling your ear with how close he was. A certain thought now laid on your mind and when you brought it up to Jungkook, his initial thought was to laugh at you. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/N.” Jungkook sighs. He pushes himself closer to you, the hand on your thigh firmly keeping you in place. “It’s just…you don’t go out much. You’ve been homeschooled your entire life and you don’t really have friends besides the ones I have.”

Jungkook continues. “You literally cried the first time I showed you porn.” he tries his hardest not to laugh at the memory of you and he, both in High School. You had come over to his home while his parents were working. Jungkook had asked you about it randomly, and when you insisted that you never watched something as normal as porn, he insisted that you and he watch together. 

You’re flushed with heat at the embarrassing memory. “You…” you take a deep breath so your voice wouldn’t crack. “You told me it was just sex.”

“Is it not?” Jungkook knits his brows. 

“They were crying!”

“In pleasure.” says Jungkook. “I should have started you off easy and not gone into bondage.” low, he begins to laugh. It’s a memory that he’s fond of. “But I don’t regret showing you either. It was the first time you came!”

A memory you wished Jungkook would forget - and stop bringing up. That same night he insisted on teaching you about masturbation, telling you that it was normal. You’ve never done so before, feeling weird about it all together, but Jungkook wouldn’t allow you to leave until you at least gave it a try. 

“You even cried in pleasure.” 

Jungkook closes his eyes, the scene flashing in his mind. How innocent you appeared, completely confused on what in the world you were doing. It was then did Jungkook tell you that he’d talk you through it. It took a half an hour of convincing, of course. Getting you out of your pants, then your underwear. 

“Open your legs, Y/N.” Jungkook had said, grabbing your wrist. “Put your fingers right…there.” he places them onto your clit and you flinch at the feeling. “Then rub…” he murmured, his hand coaching you to rub until you got the hang of it.

Jungkook will never forget the sight and how hard he was at just watching you. Your breathing hitching, the low moans and the calls of his name. It’s a memory he cherishes with you - his best friend - and one of the main reasons as to why he’d never call you his sister; he had to dead that immediately afterwards. 

“Who are you trying to seduce anyways?” Jungkook changes the subject and goes back to the original topic. “You found yourself a boyfriend?”

“No.” you quip. “I-I just want to have sex.”

Jungkook raises a brow. “Why?”

“You have sex all the time.” you retort. You didn’t like Jungkook’s question, nor the look in his eyes. 

“I’m also not a virgin.” Jungkook fires back. “You can’t just have sex with anyone, Y/N. Don’t you think it has to be special?”

“Your first time wasn’t with anyone special.” you murmur. “Do you even talk to her anymore?”

Jungkook snickers. “Don’t remember her name.” he shrugs. “But you and I are different. Sex is different for women.” Jungkook says matter-of-factly. “You women create bonds with guys you give your body to. You can’t have that bond with just anyone.”

It was a conversation Jungkook and you had time and time again. As you got older, you were tired of being a virgin - and dating was never an option. Not because you couldn’t find a boyfriend - you could. You had men come up to you asking for your number and if you’d be interested in going on dates. 

The problem was Jungkook. He lingered around you often, and you never minded. He was your best friend and each man that tried were always shot down by him, not you. “He’s ugly.” Jungkook said about one man. “He looks like he doesn’t even shower, Y/N. Why he thinks he can speak to you is beyond me.” was said about another. “Men only want one thing. They can tell that you’ve never been touched.”

“What about Hoseok?”

Jungkook is quiet for a moment, your question lingering in his mind.

Hoseok?

Hoseok.

Jung Hoseok as his friend - the man he calls his brother?

There’s a dark look in Jungkook’s eyes as he thinks about your question. 

“Do you like him?”

“I love Hoseok.” you say calmly. “Like I love you.”

Jungkook doesn’t realize that his nails are digging into your skin until he hears you yelp. There was no way in Hell you love Hoseok the same as you loved him; the thought makes him want to gag.

“Why Hoseok?”

You aren’t sure how to respond. “I’ve known him for years.” was all you can think of. You and he were around the same age and he was nice, always smiling widely at you whenever he came around. “Maybe Namjoon?”

Jungkook swallows.

“You look at my friends often?”

There’s a change in Jungkook’s tone that has you cowering.

“I-I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Do you want to fuck my friends?” 

You’re taken aback by the harshness in Jungkook’s tone. 

“I…I don’t know anyone else but your friends.”

Jungkook snickers. He wasn’t going to allow you and Hoseok - or Namjoon, hell, anyone - to do anything. Hoseok is a man such as he is and the thought of his taking something precious from you was driving him wild. Wild because he knows that if you asked Hoseok, he would.

“No.” Jungkook shakes his head. “Hoseok has a girlfriend.”

A lie, but you’d never know that.

“Oh.” you appeared bummed. “Nam-”

“No.”

You swallow. “Jimin…?”

“Do you fantasize about them?”

You’ve know his friends as long as he has, and now he’s wondering when you had the thought of fucking them in your mind. 

“I just want to have sex.” you sigh in defeat, not wanting to cause a fight with Jungkook.

“Why wouldn’t you ask me?”

Jungkook doesn’t care how unreasonably spoiled he may sound. You were his best friend, after all. He kept creeps away from you who wanted nothing but to wet their cocks. You were safe with him in the home you and he shared - he’d be damned if he’d allow a man to come in here and fuck you.

You’re silent, and Jungkook continues. 

“You don’t love me.”

Your eyes widen when you feel Jungkook remove himself from you.

“I do.” you quip. “I-I just…I don’t have anyone else. I’m tired of not knowing what it feels like.” watching television with sexual scenes had you wondering if sex was truly as good as they made it seem. You recall hearing from Taehyung, another friend of Jungkook, that porn is often fake and not everything you see was real - but how could it not be when their eyes are rolling and they’re screaming with such passion?

“If you loved me, Y/N, you’d ask me.”

Your heart sinks when Jungkook lifts from his lying position. You hated arguing with him. He was someone you loved and trusted with your life - him being upset with you had your anxiety spiking.

“I thought you had someone you were seeing.” you admit. You recall seeing her a few times in the home. She never spoke, but then again neither did you. She would stroll past you to enter Jungkook’s bedroom and only ever gave you a small grin. 

“Oh her.” Jungkook brushes past the statement. “I am. Somewhat.” he shrugs his shoulders. Her contemplated asking her out - she was decent looking and a good fuck. But he didn’t love her nor respect her enough to make her his girlfriend. He was just bored at the moment. “Why does that matter?”

The same way it matters that Hoseok had a girlfriend, you think. You want to say it, but you didn’t want to upset Jungkook anymore than he already was. “I don’t want to come between that.”

Jungkook wants to laugh. “I don’t love her. I love you.” Jungkook says, a tone in his voice that indicates that it should be obvious. “You are my best friend. You should be able to come to me when you need me. Not anyone else.”

You lift yourself up from the bed, as well, and you slowly nod your head. “Sorry.” you murmur.

Jungkook turns to face you, a full smile on his lips. “It’s okay. I’ll forgive you, Y/N.” Jungkook holds his hand out for you to grab. 

You do, and Jungkook lightly tugs you closer. You and he are face to face now.

“Sex is more than just losing your virginity.” Jungkook’s thumb rubs your knuckles. “Sex should be pleasurable for both of us. Masturbation is a form of sex. You’ve done that already.”

You nod slowly, feeling hot. 

“Tell me, Y/N.” Jungkook says. “When you masturbate, what makes you cum?”

You lick your lips, again embarrassed. You swallow while trying to find the words to answer Jungkook.

“When you watch porn, what do you like?” Jungkook changes the question up, and understands how shy you were - even with him. 

Jungkook waits patiently for you to respond. “I-I…” you glance away from him. His eyes were always so piercing, like small black holes that can swallow anyone whole. 

“Don’t be shy. We’re best friends, right?” Jungkook pulls you closer to him. “If you loved me, Y/N, you’ll tell me. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.”

You nod. “Oral sex?” your words come out questioningly. 

Jungkook nods. “Okay. That’s a start. Oral sex is a big part of sex. It’s a form of foreplay. Get things started.”

“I don’t think you should do that.” you’re horrified with Jungkook’s face being so close to your sex. Yes, he’s seen it before - years ago - but that was then. He was a man now and he’s had sex with countless women.

“Why not?” Jungkook tilts his head. 

You’re silent, and Jungkook sighs. “You don’t trust me.”

“I do!” 

“Then why don’t you trust me to pleasure you? You’d rather go to my friends than trust me, Y/N. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I’m sorry.” you quip. “I just don’t think it…looks good?”

Jungkook blinks. 

You swallow.

“Of course it looks good.” Jungkook then laughs. “I’ve already seen it.”

“That was years ago.” you murmur, casting your eyes away. 

“True. But still. You trust and love me just like I trust and love you.” Jungkook places a hand on your cheek for you to look at him. “If we’re going to do this, you can’t hide your body from me. I’ll have to show you mine, too.”

You nod your head.

“We can start now.”

You inhale deeply. You don’t move, and when Jungkook notices he frowns. 

“Y/N. What did I say?”

“Don’t hide from you.” you murmur. 

“Exactly. Here. I’ll help you take your clothes off and you can do the same for me.”

Jungkook is slow when he puts his hands at the end of your shirt. He lifts it up and you stiffen, unsure of what to do next. The shirt comes over your head and Jungkook throws it aside. 

“Okay?” asks Jungkook, his eyes glancing down to the bra you’re wearing. It’s red and basic, but it hugs your breast perfectly. 

You only nod.

“Okay.” Jungkook then goes towards your leggings. They’re tight, but he manages to get his hands inside. He begins to tug and awkwardly, you lift yourself up so he can remove them. Your panties are black and cotton.

“Now you do the same to me.” Jungkook says. He understands you by now, knowing that you’d never take the first move. He grabs your wrists and walks you through it. “Go ahead.”

You’re trembling, you note, as you remove Jungkook’s shirt - an oversize black shirt. You often are reminded how much Jungkook has grown over the years, going from a boy to a man. He worked out often and was athletic. He had many tattoos that litter his skin - you had gone with him for a few of them and pondered how he could sit so calmly. 

“I’ll get up to make it easier.” Jungkook lifts from his bed and waits for you to continue. You’re as slow as before, hands trembling more than before. You tug at the sweats he wore, watching as they fall to the ground. You try to hide the fact that you gawk at the bulge in his briefs, swallowing at the sight. 

“Y/N.”

You blink up to look at Jungkook.

“You trust me, right?”

You nod your head.

“Okay.” Jungkook gives you a grin. “Come here.”

Jungkook leans down, his hand grasping your chin. He no longer hesitates or holds back, placing his lips upon yours.

You’re shocked, completely stiff, but Jungkook doesn’t mind. You’ll give into him eventually - it may take a few rounds, but you will.

You’re pushed backwards, back hitting the mattress. Jungkook hovers above you, his hands placing themselves onto your shoulders to keep you in place. 

You gasp for air when Jungkook removes his lips from yours, but then they’re trailing down your jawline to your neck. You’re breathing heavily, unsure what to do.

“You can touch me.” says Jungkook, as if reading your mind. “Don’t just lay there.”

Jungkook continues to kiss at your neck, his left hand leaving your shoulder and grabs your hand. He places it upon his chest for you to take the lead. His hand then goes to your waist to pull you closer to him. 

Your heart thumps that this is happening now - you and Jungkook. Goosebumps litter your skin, the hair standing straight up. But you do as you’re told, hand grabbing Jungkook’s bicep and squeezing it. 

Jungkook forces your legs apart, wrapping them around his waist. You yelp when you feel him, his bulge grinding directly against you. There’s a deep groan from Jungkook that you hear coming from your neck. 

“You have to engage.” Jungkook lifts slightly to look at your face. “Kiss me like I’m kissing you.”

You’re left stunned when Jungkook flips the both of you, his own back hitting the mattress and now you’re on top of him. He places his hands on your hips, a smirk on his lips. “It’ll be easier for you this way. I’ll let you take the lead.”

There’s a tension - one sided - when you lean down to his own neck.

“You’re still shy. It’s just me.” Jungkook sighs.

 It was easier for him to say. He wasn’t the virgin - or the closed off one that has been homeschooled. The only friend she kept was Jungkook, and his friends, but mainly Jungkook. There was no one she could go to that was the same sex that she could vent to about her frustrations. 

“Just let loose, Y/N. We’re friends. There’s nothing you can do that’ll make me view you differently.”

You try your best, even closing your eyes in hopes that’d be better. Your lips place themselves at the nape of Jungkook’s neck, and ever so gently did you kiss him. You allowed your hands to rub softly on his bare shoulders, kissing down his neck until you got to his collarbone.

Jungkook hums to himself, his cock twitching to be let loose from his underwear. 

You were adjusting - only a bit - but you’d soon be fully accepting. Jungkook allows his hands to dip from your waist and he grabs your ass fully in his grasp.

You swallow, hiding back the surprised gasp. You don’t want Jungkook to think you don’t trust him - because you do. You don’t want to appear utterly shy and closed off. You were older than Jungkook and he had to be the one to show you what life was like, as sad as it was.

“Okay. Now kiss me.” 

You nod your head. You want to avoid Jungkook’s gaze, but he doesn’t falter. “You’ll have to look at me eventually, Y/N.” Jungkook murmurs. 

“I know.” you murmur back, and now meet his eyes. Jungkook smiles when you do, and his head lifts slightly.

Your head dips down to capture his lips in yours once more. There’s a fire running through you this time at the feeling - no longer hesitant or awkward to kiss him. It felt…normal; as if this is something the two of you always did. 

Jungkook’s teeth catch your bottom lip and he lightly tugs. “Let loose.” he whispers, and then dives into your mouth again. This time, his tongue pushes past your teeth and meets your own, it’s warm and slimy, but it causes you to moan.

Jungkook’s hands grip your ass, keeping you firmly against his erection. He rubs up your sides for a moment, then on your back. His hands are now on your bra and he appears to be swift in unhooking it.

“Kookie…” you murmur against his lips.

“It’s okay.” Jungkook responds. “You trust me, remember?”

You nod, but trust doesn’t help with your self–consciousness. 

Jungkook tugs at your bra until it’s fully off of you. He disgards it, bare hands now taking your breast entirely. He doesn't care how heavy he’s breathing, or how rough his hands squeeze your breast.

“My pretty girl.” Jungkook praises.

 It’s weird hearing it - for you at least.

 Jungkook rarely compliments you - not because he doesn’t think you are, but because he never really has a reason to. He sees you the same everyday - his best friend who he has breakfast, occasionally lunch and dinner with. You’re the same Y/N that he shares movie nights with where the two of you cuddle and laugh at whatever was on the screen. 

Now, however, Jungkook has to compliment you. He has to let you know how beautiful you are now - a woman. You grew into your womanly curves over the years, hiding it behind loose clothing, but never truly hiding it. You never hid from him; occasionally wearing shorts that showed your legs and the roundness of your ass, or tank-tops that made your breast appear more plump.

You yelp when Jungkook pinches your nipple. He chuckles at your reaction. “So responsive.” he says, more to himself than to you. 

“W-What-”

Jungkook’s tongue licks on your nipple, shuddering at feeling. He couldn’t help but to bring it entirely into his mouth, tongue twirling and suckling on it while his free hand pinches the other. There’s a euphoric feeling engulfing him right now. Yes, he did think about you sexually at times - he was a man and he couldn’t help it. But this was far better than any feeling, any thought or dream he’s ever had. 

“Does it feel good?” Jungkook manages to say, popping your nipple from his mouth to just engulf the other one.

“Yes.”

You don’t intend to sound so soft and meek, moaning against Jungkook. But you couldn’t hide it any longer. You can feel the wetness between your legs, arousal pooling out - and Jungkook’s grinding didn’t make it any better.

“You can talk to me, Y/N. You can tell me how  much you like it. How I make you feel.” 

Jungkook kisses both of your nipples softly. 

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me how you feel.” Jungkook repeats. “Here,” his right hand drops your breast and without warning, he slaps your ass. The sound echoes, as does you shriek. “I love the way your ass feels.” he then squeezes it in the palm of his hands. “I love the sweet moans coming from those pretty lips of yours.” he continues. 

You’re hot, Jungkook’s words cause a new sensation to run through you - nerves running through your body and meeting exactly between your legs. 

“It feels good when you touch me.” you say, admitting even if you want nothing more than to hide. 

“Yeah?” Jungkook lightly laughs. He squeezes your ass again. “What else?”

You huff, this time now hiding your face. Your head is between his shoulder and neck.

“It’s okay, pretty girl. Just tell me.” Jungkook encourages. “You trust me like I trust you.”

You sigh. Jungkook was going to be the death of you - you were going to die with embarrassment.

“I like the way you look.” 

Jungkook, again, is swift with his movement. He’s once more on top of you. He’s now forcing you to look at him - as if you weren’t embarrassed enough.

You go to cover yourself, but that wasn’t something Jungkook was going to allow. 

“Go on, Y/N.” Jungkook places a quick peck on your lips before he kisses down your neck to your collarbone. 

Your breath is shaky - but it was all Jungkook. His hands rub along your sides as his lips send kisses between your breasts, going lower and lower. “You make me feel…different.”

Jungkook’s lips are now on your stomach. “What’s different?”

“Wet…?”

Jungkook groans. His fingers are hooked between your panties and he wants nothing more than to remove them and dive in, but he’d remain calm for now.

“Look at me, Y/N.”

You hesitated. Not because you didn’t want to, but because you’re unsure what Jungkook had in store for you. 

You do, however, and Jungkook is now directly between your legs. Your thighs quiver at the sight. 

“What do you want me to do?” Jungkook asks, and before you can answer, he places a single kiss upon your clothed clit.

Your throat tightens.

Jungkook wasn’t going to stop. He wanted to hear you speak - hear your thoughts, whatever moans you had in you. He didn’t want you to be shy - not with him. He wasn’t a stranger and who else should be the one to take your virginity than him?

Not Hoseok.

Not Namjoon.

Not Jimin - none of his friends.

Just Jungkook.

Dare he say he was entitled to it - you were his best friend. He was there for whatever you needed him to be; and this was one thing you didn’t come to him for (not at first). You wanted his assistance in finding you someone. The thought still upsets him.

“Kookie.” you sigh, hands crashing to your face. 

“So shy.” Jungkook tsks. His hands grip your waist and he drags you to the edge of the bed, him falling to his knees before you. “I’ll take the lead.”

You feel your panties being tugged off. You’re unsure of what to do or say - you knew you had to keep breathing or you’d pass out. The coolness of the air hits you and now you fully accept that you’re naked for Jungkook, completely bare before his eyes to see.

You’re so wet, Jungkook notes, arousal coating your lips and thighs. The thought of how excited you’ve been and nothing has happened yet makes him groan, anticipating what's to come.

Your throat releases a gasp and instantly, your legs clench shut, caging Jungkook in.

“S-Sorry, i-”

“It’s okay, Y/N. Relax.” Jungkook laughs, a gleeful tone in his voice. He had done nothing but flick your clit with his tongue. “Watch me, okay?”

You nod your head.

Jungkook hooks his hands right on your thighs, holding them in a firm grip so you wouldn’t be easily reactive - not without him stopping you. He dips his head back between your legs, tongue dipping between your folds.

Your eyes flutter, unable to truly focus on Jungkook like he wants you to. 

The sight alone is filthy - his head bobbing back and forth while his tongue assaults your clit. Occasionally, his eyes would dart up to capture your reaction, satisfied that you no longer hid your moans from him.

But the noises Jungkook made were another thing. He suckles on your clit, completely ravishing you as if it was the finest meal. He’s animalistic, not caring. He would draw his head back and spit, then continue his assault upon your clit.

“Kookie, I-I, you need to stop.” you try to get away from Jungkook, but he doesn’t allow it. If anything, Jungkook holds you even tighter. You were going to cum, of course, never truly experiencing a man going down on you. Your stomach churns and you feel like you are going to explode. “Kookie, please stop…”

Jungkook’s eyes flicker up at you. Your eyes are snapped shut and there’s a few droplets trailing down your cheeks. Jungkook grunts into your pussy. His fingernails dig into your naked flesh, his tongue laying flat against your clit. He continues to ravish you, not caring about your pleas - it was obvious you wanted more and was far too inexperienced to understand it.

Jungkook dives deeper and deeper, your cries only fueling him for more. Your arousal coats the bottom half of his face entirely. 

There was another attempt to remove yourself, buckling your hips, but Jungkook only shoves you back down upon the bed. Your toes are curling and you’re unable to see straight. There’s a tightness in your stomach that’s utterly unfamiliar to you.

“I’m not going to stop.”

Jungkook’s voice is deeper - deepest you’ve ever heard it.

“Not until you cum.”

 Jungkook’s right hand removes itself from holding your thigh, but that only means he’s holding the other tighter. 

Your back arches when you feel his fingers at your entrance.

“I can’t-”

“You will.” 

Jungkook doesn’t give a warning before entering his finger’s inside of you. You jump at the foreign feeling. You swallow back and shriek.

“So tight.” Jungkook murmurs to himself.

 Two fingers is all you can handle for now. That doesn’t mean Jungkook goes easy on you. He pumps inside of you vigorously, your walls clenching around his digits. Each time he hits a deeper spot that has you jerking.

“I know it feels good, Y/N. My pretty girl.”

You can’t speak, but Jungkook doesn’t care. He pumps and pumps until you’re cumming all over him, arousal splashing onto the hardwood floors of his bedroom. 

You’re a crying twitching mess, whimpering to yourself. Jungkook removes his fingers, satisfied with your appearance.

“I could fuck you right now. You’re so wet, Y/N.”

You exhale, eyes snapping open. “Kookie, I-”

“Don’t tell me you can’t take me.”

Jungkook pushes down his underwear and you freeze.

You’ve never seen Jungkook naked before, never going past witnessing him shirtless.

Now Jungkook is as nude as you, cock erect and hard. His tip is red and leaking with pre-cum, the shaft twitching in anticipation.

“I can’t.” you cry, now dwelling on the idea of having sex with the man.

Jungkook snickers. He grips his cock and slaps the tip against your wet clit. So wet, he thinks. Wet and warm, completely aroused because of him.

“You were willing to fuck my friends.”

Jungkook rubs the tip against your clit in slow circular motions. It makes a wet and sloppy sound as he does.

“They don’t love you, Y/N. Not like I do.”

You twitch at the feeling, overstimulated enough, even if it did feel good.

“Don’t you love me, Y/N?” Jungkook’s eyes don't leave your clit. He continues to tap and circle the tip of his cock against it, the sight beautiful.

“I do…”

“Then why do you keep denying me pleasure?”

Jungkook removes his hand from his cock to place it upon your hips, keeping you in place. He begins to thrust forward, sliding his entire cock against your clit.

“I allowed you to cum, haven’t i?” Jungkook grunts. “Milked my fingers like a little whore. But you won’t let me fuck you.”

Jungkook’s words cause you to gasp - that and the way his cock feels against your already stimulated clit. 

Jungkook’s open’s his mouth, a trail of saliva dripping right onto your clit, not because you needed it - you were literally dripping - but just because he wanted to. In his eyes, spitting upon you was an act of marking his territory and after he fucked you - and he was going to regardless - he would assure that only he would be the one fucking you afterwards; always and forever.

Jungkook continues to rub, his pace quickening. 

“Do you think another man would have given you the satisfaction?” Jungkook hisses. “They would’ve fucked you and left, Y/N. This is why I’m here. I love you, my pretty girl…” his tone softens. “...so wet and ready for me. You’ll let me have you, right, Y/N? You’ll let me be the one who takes your virginity?”

Slowly, you nod your head. Jungkook was someone you loved greatly. He was a man and understood how men think - you couldn’t be upset with him now. “Okay…” 

Jungkook smiles wide, full set of teeth shining at you. “My pretty girl. You’re always so good for me. Give me your hand.”

You do as Jungkook tells you to do, and he guides your hand to touch his cock. It twitches in your grip.

“Tighten your grip.” Jungkook demands and groans when you do. “Okay, baby…now center it at your pussy.”

You’re being so obedient for him, Jungkook thinks. He watches as you do what he tells you, the tip of his cock at the entrance of your hole. “Good girl.” Jungkook mumbles.

“Don’t you need to wear a condom?”

Jungkook wants to laugh at your words. “Condoms are for people who have one night stands. Why would I wear a condom with you?” he asks, a tilt of his head. He had no intention of allowing you to fuck another man, so him not wearing a condom was alright.

You widen your eyes. “Pregnancy…?”

Again, Jungkook laughs. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, only stares into your wide eyes. He had no intention of impregnating you now, but if it happened, then it did. That only meant that it’s what the universe wanted.

“You know I love you, Y/N.” Jungkook says.

“I love you, too.” you respond.

Simpering, Jungkook nods. “I know.” he says, and then without warning, he enters you whole. There’s no warming upm Jungkook thinks, the faster he gets it over with, the faster pleasure will come for you.

When your mouth opens to shriek, Jungkook silences you with his lips. His hips snap inside of you, unable to stop. So tight, he thinks, fully milking his cock with your essence. It’s as though his cock fit perfectly inside of you; like a puzzle piece coming together to complete a set.

The pain is excruciating and you’re unable to pull away from Jungkook. His grip on you was intense, fingers bruising into your skin. 

The sound of skin slapping is loud in the room, echoing off the walls. 

“My pretty girl.” grumbles Jungkook when he releases your lips. “Thank you for trusting me, Y/N.”

The pain shoots throughout your body, but hearing those words from Jungkook was worth it to you. You blink away the tears so you can focus on his face.

“Soon the pain will go away, and you’ll love the way I fuck you.”

You nod. You trusted Jungkook.

It takes a while for the pleasure to come, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t. Jungkook hits your sweet spot, slamming you against his bed with each thrust. Your moans are loud for him, so sweet and melodic - he knew you had it in you to let loose.

“Feels good, pretty girl?” Jungkook questions, the question rhetorical. He knows by the way you clench around him that it does - that and your high pitched moans. 

“Feels…so…good…” you grunt, panting along with each powerful thrust.

“Good.”

Jungkook removes himself just so he can turn you around, chest firmly against his mattress. He enters you once more, hitting even deeper than before.

Your eyes snap shut and your arms shoot out, gripping the bed sheets for support. Whatever you once imagined sex would be like didn’t give it any justice. Sex with Jungkook was a pleasurable feeling you’d never forget - you’re unsure how you’d ever be able to go back to masturbating once this was over. 

Both of Jungkook’s hands place themselves on yours, entangling your hangers with his. His lips kiss your back, pounding inside of you with such passion. 

There it was again, the churning feeling in your stomach.

“I feel you, baby.” Jungkook pants. It’s as if you never want him to stop, creaming his cock like your life depended on it. “Go ahead and cum for me, pretty girl.”

You groan, shaking your head at how good you felt. 

“I love you, Kookie.” you murmur so low that it’s barely audible, but Jungkook hears it loud and clear.

 It causes Jungkook to grind into you deeper and deeper, feeling himself come undone at just words. You told him those three words many times before, but now it felt different. Intimate. This was something he’s never heard during sex - and if there was a chance he did, he wouldn’t care. 

You were who Jungkook loved; his best friend since childhood.

You were the one who Jungkook wanted to hear the words from.

Jungkook’s cumming, his heaving breaths ticking the skin of your back. He doesn't bother to pull out of you, instead he milks your walls completely with his seed, shuddering with complete bliss.

Jungkook won’t regret it - cumming inside of you felt right. It wasn’t as if anyone else would be.

“My pretty girl.” Jungkook coos, pulling out of you to tuck you further into his bed. He lays beside you, embracing you from behind. “You did so good for me.”

Your heart swells at the compliment, your eyes heavy with slumber.

Jungkook holds you tight as you drift to sleep, satisfied that you were here with him. 

Not Hoseok or Namjoon or anyone else -  but him.

 After all, he was the only one who truly loved you for who you are and didn’t see you as just a hole to fill - he wasn’t like those other men out in the world. No, Jungkook was better than any man you could ever think about being with. He proceeds to place a kiss upon your temple, satisfied that you were his and his alone.

idol version

[t34-mt]

Qua'tuli's traditional adult north-east winter clothes when he returned home, around year 217-219 of GA, before recall (timeline is in the work, numbers might change one day). Altuyur is a hot moon, but only in the far north can temperate seasons can happen.

more infos on clothes below

info chart, I'll expand on some things I've pointed out in the drawing, so make sure to read the notes before reading the text below

The family's folklore animal:

The northern, puy'ul families always have an animal associated with them, said association is from history that happened with the animal, but the event has nowadays turned into folklore. The stories only being transmitted orally, they slowly diverge and change to be more fantastical. The emblem animal can start off as a regular one but slowly shift into more strange descriptions, eventually ending up as a unique beast. Even if two families have the same emblem animal, the stories will never be the same. The emblem animal will often be a coastal one. On Qua'tuli's clothes, it is found in a bone disk that is hollowed out, then tissue is placed under and attached on the side, and the animal is embroidered in the tissue. They believe that emblem animals will be here after their burial at sea has been done, they think the creature will pick their core at sea and return them to haanu.

Repeated Eye designs:

each region have a different depiction of haanu, maanul's all-mighty mother. In the north their version of her has plenty of eyes. constantly shifting from place to place like clouds passing in the sky, they slowly reemerge from her face to disappear in the wrinkles of flesh at the end of her snout. this is what haanu's face looks like in the north ->

a while i dont have an info chart of every version available yet (ill have a separate post for the subject), this is an old sketch but still very accurate! repeated eye patterns are seen as a protection symbol in north regions

Necklace to hide neck:

Not having clothes isn't inherently seen as sexual, as context matters, although in day-to-day life adults might have certain body parts to hide depending on region. In the north east, adult of both genders will hide their neck, and will also always have their keel hidden even in interiors when wearing lighter clothes. Although they can be shown to their partner in private settings, they're hidden for cultural beliefs.

As i said context matters so showing keel and neck in north east while bathing (they bathe in groups) will not be seen as a lack of decency, as the setting is them simply washing themselves

lucky charm

a tooth (of an unidentified animal) qua'tuli has found as a little child in the snow, while throwing himself in the powdered snow he just stumbled upon it and has kept it as his lucky charm. He actually has it with him as a recruit (inside a pocket), and when he came home after acquiring his iron talons he kept it on his foot glove.

[caffedrine]

Chevalier Michel - Beyond the Connection Between the Past and the Present – Event Summary

This is mostly a summary for me - I make no promises on the accuracy of what’s happening. I’m not nearly fluent enough to get half the jokes/innuendo much less accurate plot points.

As usual, Emma brings tea and sweets to the garden pavilion for Chevalier. Unusually, she brings enough for a third person. Once she arrives, she apologizes for making the two wait.

Chevalier and kid!Chevalier do not look up from their respective books. The atmosphere between them remains the same.

It had been surprising to run into kid!Chevalier in but, looking at them side by side, it is clear that this really is the child version of Chevalier.

She explains that she brought Chevalier’s tea without milk or sugar as usual, but maybe kid!Chevalier would like something different? Maybe something sweeter?

Kid!Chevalier tells her that he already said she wasn’t required to behave considerately towards him. Emma agrees that he did say that, but even if it wasn’t required, she still wants to take care of him. She offers some scones that she baked earlier, adding that they would go well with the tea.

Kid!Chevalier does not look impressed.

(Just imagine this but three feet shorter)

Emma gestures at the pile of books that seems to increase every time they are out of her direct line of sight and asks if kid!Chevalier found anything useful. She imagines kid!Chevalier is looking for a way to return to his original time, and she wonders how close he is to finding it.

Chevalier tells Emma that it’s impossible to find. At Emma’s confused expression, Chevalier explains that he has already read every book in the imperial court, and there is nothing about time travel. This is something Emma should have figured out for herself.

Emma asks what the pile of books is for, and Chevalier muses that kid!Chevalier must be bored.

Kid!Chevalier adds that he doesn’t have anything else he needs to do.

Emma is surprised at how calm the child is. On the other hand, there are lots of books that kid!Chevalier has never read, so she hopes that this will be interesting to him.

Chevalier tells her to go ahead and leave the child be. He knows how to take care of himself – he might look like a child but he’s not all that different from adult!Chevalier. Emma is confused, and Chevalier asks if this looks like a normal child to her.

Well, yes. Maybe because she’s spent a lot of time around adult!Chevalier, but kid!Chevalier, despite how well-mannered he is, is still pretty childish.

Both Chevaliers are appalled.

Emma muses that their reaction is the exact same.

Moving on, Emma asks if there’s anything she can help kid!Chevalier with.

Nope.

Emma asks if she can take care of him.

She’s bothering him.

Emma explains that if there is anything that is bothering him, she wants to help him.

Kid!Chevalier ignores her.

Chevalier explains that he’s just not used to being doted on. As a child, there was no one like her who would take care of him, and so he has no idea how to handle her affection.

Kid!Chevalier remarks that his adult self seems to enjoy pointless chatter. Chevalier muses that he might be right. Sulkily, kid!Chevalier doubts he will ever become like Chevalier. Chevalier agrees that the way his life turned out surprised even him.

Awh, adult!Chevalier is eating the scones. Unfortunately, kid!Chevalier shows no interest in them at all.

Suddenly kid!Chevalier asks why Chevalier is eating the scones so carelessly. Chevalier asks if Emma seems like someone who would poison him?

Oh, what about an accidental poisoning?

Chevalier thinks that if Emma was able to poison the scones, accidentally or not, then it’s his fault for not being able to detect poison. However, he is not so unskilled that he would make that kind of mistake.

Chevalier notes that kid!Chevalier doesn’t have that much confidence in his own skills. He recalls that he couldn’t detect poison that well as a child either. But don’t worry, Chevalier had experienced enough poisonings that he can tell these scones are safe.

Kid!Chevalier muses over this information, it sounds like even a monster like himself can grow to some extent.

Emma snaps that Chevalier is not a monster.

Oops, she didn't mean to be so loud. But still, this is a point that is important to her. In a more normal tone, she explains that it's normal for humans to be cautious and grow from their experiences. Kid!Chevalier asks if she thinks he looks like a human child.

Of course!

Chevalier snorts and notes that Emma is a bit simple. Kid!Chevalier snorts and agrees. Emma decides to take this as a compliment from the two of them, her heartwarming at the sound of amusement from kid!Chevalier.

Suddenly, kid!Chevalier stands up from the table, and Emma asks where he’s going. He explains that he’s finished reading all the books here, so he’ll head out to the library. Emma offers to accompany him, but he tells her she is unnecessary.

But what if a book he wants is in a high place? She could reach it for him!

Kid!Chevalier predicts that Emma will fall off the ladder reaching that high book for him. Emma assures him it has been over 16 hours since she last fell. Chevalier laughs at this, startling kid!Chevalier.

He explains that he never thought that he’d be able to laugh like that. Emma explains that she fell in love with Chevalier’s laugh and smile.

Kid!Chevalier shakes his head, this is nonsense. He’s merely a beast wearing a human’s skin.

Emma disagrees, it's more like he’s a human who is wearing the skin of a beast. Of course, the same goes for kid!Chevalier.

Kid!Chevalier grumbles that she is a very strange person. Emma tells him that she’ll consider that a compliment as well.

Kid!Chevalier returns to his seat, and Chevalier asks if he wasn’t planning on getting more books. Kid!Chevalier explains that he has changed his mind, he’s decided he can read books whenever he wants. Then he reaches out, plucks up a scone, and eats it. Emma gushes over him, asking if he minds it, if it suits his taste. He will admit that it is edible.

Emma proffers the jams available, telling him to choose whatever he likes. Kid!Chevalier grumbles that she is something to make such a fuss over jams. Emma explains that she’s really happy, kid!Chevalier looks like he thinks the scone was delicious.

Chevalier agrees, he never objectively looked at himself as a child, but right now, kid!Chevalier’s emotions are on his face.

Kid!Chevalier looks grumpy as Chevalier notes that he just has no experience.

Kid!Chevalier grumbles that they’re acting like he’s just some kid. Emma agrees and asks him to let her pamper him more.

Emma has long believed that the reason Chevalier is the way he is was due to his environment rather than his talent. If so, she wants both the adult and the child to know that someone here loves them.

[spirk-trek]

hii this is really random but i'm writting a paper on star trek fanfiction from the 60s/70s and i was wondering if there were any fics youd recommend? are there any like iconic, keystone fics that are really significant to the fandom? (i'm having a bit of trouble sourcing pre-internet fics)

Hi! I'll try to help the best I can but I am by no means an expert- in fact, many people who end up seeing this may have better/more information so I'll extend it to any of them to answer as well :)

Disclaimer: many of the following links contain nsfw content!!!

Here is page 1 and page 2 of what might be the first known k/s fanfic published in Grup fanzine (1974). Grup is credited as being the first Star Trek fanzine with adult content. This fic, A Fragment Out of Time by Diane Marchant was vague enough that it had to be clarified as k/s in a later edition, but the author did do so.

Spockanalia is always a good source for early fandom. It is the earliest and best preserved example of fanzine content (beginning in 1967 before the second season had even aired). I'd definitely say that makes it influential! So much more can be found on the internet archive and on fanlore. Copies of Spockanalia found their ways into the hands of many people involved in the show, including Roddenberry himself.

Gayle F is a prolific fanzine artist (one of my favorites) for k/s and is also influential to k/s writing. She was behind the Cosmic Fuck Series (yes really lol) which begins with Desert Heat (1976) in which Spock prematurely enters his second Pon Farr with only Jim available to him. This is the first mention (that I know of) of Spock's "double ridges" which are still a fanon element of his anatomy today (fanlore link here).

Alexis Fegan Black is another name to know, but is actually the pen name for author Della Van Hise. She did a lot of her work in the 80s and beyond, so I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but I think she's very influential. You may know about her licensed trek novel Killing Time (1982) because the first edition was recalled for being way too gay (changes between the two versions are best documented here imo).

Jenna Sinclair was very influential but again, a lot of her works came a little later than what you're looking for (note: ao3 does NOT have the correct dates, you'll need to find those separately).

A few more links to throw at you:

List of Star Trek Fanzines

List of Star Trek SLASH Fanzines

Captain's Log (1968)

The Crewman's Log (1967)

Spock's Showcase (1968)

Spock's Underground (1968-71)

The Sensuous Vulcan (slash zine, 1977)

Thrust (slash zine, 1978)

I hope all these links work and at least something I mentioned is helpful for you!! Good luck! I'd love to hear about your research if you're so inclined to share :)

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, this is probably a stupid question but would it make sense/be accurate for an autistic character to have, like,,,,, normal facial expressions, at the correct time (like when they're happy or sad) like a neurotypical person? Without having to mask and intentionally force themselves to make those faces?

I'm autistic but I don't think I do this. I don't talk to people unless I absolutely have to and my memory is dogshit so I can't recall any times when people have commented on my facial expressions, and I definitely do make expressions sometimes, just maybe not in the right contexts or not very often.

I'm making a comic and one of the characters is autistic and very based on my own symptoms (she's the main character so since she gets a lot of screen time, I figured it would be easiest if I already knew how to represent her).

My reasoning behind wanting her expressive is:

There are already two other characters with autism who are pretty blank and expressionless.

It's a comic and I want to draw a lot of fun expressions, I want her to be able to smile softly and snarl and look baffled and make all kinds of faces, without her having to mask and constantly be miserable.

But my problem is that I want her to actually have autism. And when I look up posts online from other people, I'm really not seeing a whole lot of "Oh yeah I can emote and make facial expressions exactly like a normal person, in the correct contexts, automatically without masking."

So I'm not sure at this point if this is something we can even do? I've seen quite a few autistic people say that our brains literally do not work this way.

Maybe, would it be possible that she has the opposite problem most autistic people do? Most of us are sort of blank and expressionless and have to mask and make ourselves look happy/surprised/angry.

I thought that instead, she could be TOO expressive, so she would have the correct expressions at the correct times (looking angry when she's angry) but she wouldn't notice this, and would make the wrong expression at a bad time?

For example, if she was at a funeral and found something funny, she would unintentionally smile/scrunch her face up and everyone would get pissed because "Omg girl their grandma got killed by a dragon and you're laughing?"

So most autistics = masking to create expressions

But her = masking to remove expressions

I hope this makes sense It's midnight and I need to sleep lmao

Hi asker!

I just wanted to say that it is, in fact, possible for autistic people to be naturally expressive. A flat or flatter affect might be more common, and many autistic people mask to create expressions. But that doesn't mean all!

Me, personally, I'm autistic. I've been called expressive pretty often. I generally smile when I'm happy, frown when I'm pissed off, widen my eyes when I'm surprised – expressions you'd consider normal. This happens less often the more tired I am, and in my diagnosis debrief I was told that what I do that isn't normal is that I don't direct expressions to people: basically, that I don't use expressions to communicate with others, they just sort of happen. Which surprised me, because I saw communication as kind of a side effect of expressions as opposed to the main purpose, if that makes sense?

One of my adult family members is autistic as well. They are also very expressive, in fact kind of too expressive like you mention your character could be. They can't really hide the facial expressions they do (that generally correspond to typical expressions) and so can't really hide what they're feeling, even when it would be better to hide it. Their version of masking would be working to remove these expressions, which they don't actually do, but that would be the case.

That's two examples of people with autism that are pretty typically expressive, yet still show social/communication difficulties even in that. So: what you're describing is definitely possible.

As a side note:

Autism is two-fold: social/communication difficulties, and restrictive/repetitive behavior. Everyone who has autism experiences those two aspects. However, autism is also very varied in how these things present, so be wary of anything or anyone that says something (other than those two things) applies to either absolutely all or absolutely no autistic people. Sure, some presentations are more common – like a flat affect, or lack of eye contact, or how hand-flapping is a common stim. But no single presentation is universal. And on top of that, 'difficulties with social communication' doesn't have to mean 'difficulties with every single aspect of this.' It can! But it doesn't always.

Also, wow, I have typed the word "expression" so much that it barely seems like a real word right now!

– mod sparrow

[kanmom51]

JK Live 4 October 2023

21:01 or 9:01 pm KST

cr./To all the creators of the media used in this post.

I was waiting for this, and kind of expecting this to happen, lol.

He said he'd be live at 9 pm. And yes, you can say, it's unintentional, a coincidence, but I say NO.

Both JK and JM have shown us over the years their attention to the numbers, the dates.

Starting the live at 9:01 was intentional.

9/1 or 1/9, however you look at it!!

Let's talk about the live, why don't we?

It was definitley an interesting one.

In a gist, JK shut down (well tried to) the whole Mingyu shipping shit. He most definitley shut down TKKs. I actually kinda, maybe (not really), felt sorry for them.

He listened to all the members songs, with certain degrees of favouritism and certain degrees of, well, not...

He drank. Like a lot. I think maybe someone needs to fill him in on the secret that alcohol does have calories. Yes, whiskey might not be as bad as beer on that front, but drinking as much and then not eating cause he's dieting... well, not the healthiest choice. And this is not, god forbid, me mothering or smothering him. His health is important for his performance (he says that himself), not to mention, man is constantly hungry. Eat more, is what I'm saying.

He once again demonstrated his neuro-divergency (that whole clean up session he had in the kitchen, lol).

He showed us, again that's it's all about choices.

He got pensive and serious at a point and said some very important things, which I will, of course, discuss here in my post.

He is super tired, but really struggling to sleep.

He is fighting so hard to drop the cute image, but man, it's just imbedded in him. He is so cute!!!

And he is so genuine.

He is genuine.

Let us begin our journey into JK's almost 1.5 hour live (yep, we are back to those, lol).

He starts out telling us he just got home from the company, and that he hasn't even prepared his glass (of drink) - kind of solidifies my belief that the 9:01 pm starting time was meaningful and intentional, because then he goes and prepares his glass and drink.

He invited us to have drinks with him, so as he's preparing his own drink he tells us to fill up our glasses as well, lol. Throughout the live he has 3 highballs, and by the end of the live admits he's kind of drunk. Which is not that surprising given he is drinking on an empty stomach (as high as his tolerance to alcohol may be).

He explains he came on Weverse on the 4th and not earlier because of his solo album announcement. Golden. Makes a toast with us to celebrate it. And he talks a little about it as well.

He tells us how Golden represented him after debut. We know him as the Golden maknae, he mentions I think GC (which for some reason they translate as golden chest and not golden closet, maybe because whoever is translating isn't aware of golden closet, who knows...), how he wrote a poem called Golden (the one JM went all gushy about, if you recall), And also "this moment is like a golden period for me." - Golden hour perhaps? Kind of fits with his choice of lighting for the live as well. Just saying.

And there you have it!!!

And after seeing this, go back and take another look at his concept photo...

The album includes 3D and the clean and explicit versions of Seven. 11 songs on it, which means we will get to hear 8 new songs!!!

He also explains how he thought he would release an ep and somehow it became a full album.

He didn't give too much info (well, he couldn't of course), but told us the title track has a performance and he's practicing, like A LOT. He wants to do well and is giving it his best. He also lets us know that the title song is a hard one and will be awesome!! I do hope this one is not a collab though (just my own wishes here). He is confident we will like it, and says we can look forward to it. I know I am.

He's complaining about how his body isn't the same, he's exhausted. Well JK my man, you wanted to be a adult, and us adults, we grow old too, lol...

He says "there is nothing that is making me stressed out, I am just tired." Now, that could be meant about the album being released, or the performance he's preparing for. But it could also be more...

He says he's keeping his voice down and wanted to be calm and have "older bro vibe", lol.

He wants to go with older bro vibe. Appear to be more mature? Since his full album is coming out?

Ok, so I'm going to say this here. The translation is somewhat off and wacky. I felt this with JM's live on 1st September with some of it, and I feel the same here as well. The whole golden chest thing, the "I'm keeping the weight down" when he's talking about the older bro vibe, and more... It feels like a. whoever is doing this doesn't know JK too much (the golden chest is a big clue), and b. are they just translating literally and not the actual sentence meaning?

JK shares with us how tired he is, how he's still having trouble sleeping, that he practiced real hard today and that his upcoming schedule is hellish. I can only imagine. He's really worried, "will I be good at this?"

Now, let's stop here for a second shall we? Didn't he just minutes before tell us he's not stressed out? So, perhaps that wasn't about the album and promotions at all? Perhaps that was more about the white noise shitshow that was going on in the background? Telling us that isn't bothering him, all while now sharing with us that what he is worried about is if he'll be good enough, do well enough with his performances?

He shows us he got an IV today, needs to replenish himself, yet he hasn't eaten. "I have to take care of my body too". Yes he does. But at the same time he says he has to lose weight. It kind of frustrates me, but then again, this is their reality, as idols. I just wish there would be less pressure on them in that aspect.

He reads a comment telling him to do well, says he will.

And then this:

Ok, so thing is, please raise your hand if you actually do believe the commenter was asking JK if he loves Taehyun of TXT.

No show of hands I see.

Lmao.

Nah, when this happened I didn't have the comments on and in any case wouldn't have been able to read them, not knowing Korean. But I kind of felt like maybe whoever wrote it wasn't Karmy and misspelled it perhaps? And then I saw this.

So here's the thing. If this was a misspell, makes sense that JK was maybe blissfully unaware of the intent of the comment.

But if this was indeed spelled out correctly, I kind of have my doubts he didn't read it right, especially given he says it twice before answering. And he's off telling us about TXT Taehyun. Whom he spoke with on the phone that day. He's so well mannered and cute, while being an old soul. Ok, here we go with another Taekook ship, lol. JK spoke to someone - must be something going on there. No wonder the man is so damn tired... Seven days a week seven sets of sheets... (eww... NOOOOOOO). No, but seriously, did we know that Taehyun was a good friend of JK's? No we didn't. Now we do.

Not seeing it doesn't mean it's not there!!!

It's funny how JK runs himself down constantly. Like the man is so intelligent. Perhaps not book smart (which is why he keeps saying he's not smart), but not everything about life is learnt from a book, and his emotional intelligence and artistic intelligence are next level. But he keeps running himself down, and I kind of feel that sometimes fans only hear or see that of him, instead of seeing his art and listen to what actually comes out of his mouth when he starts speaking about the deeper things.

Again, the "I'm Jungkook's girlfriend" comments. Ugh yuck. Like shut the fuck up already. But he just brushes it off. Reads it, asks what they are doing at this hour and snickers.

Comment "I really love you a lot". JK "I think I love you more". This is once again JK cementing just how great his love for army is. He will talk about it more later too.

Look, man loves army. We can't even start to understand the connection he has with army, given his whole career, starting out at such an early age and going through all the struggles that they went through to get where they are right now, feeling that it's because this sense of loyalty and love that army have for them. So yes, he loves army.

And another idiot in the comments asking JK to take off his shirt. Of course these people are flooding his comments. Funny how his reaction is:

Yes he giggles, but he's uncomfortable. And asks why they even said that. "It's embarrassing".

Happy that he called them out. As if it will help though.

JK shows us his Vogue magazine, the hip hop concept, which he says he liked the most.

Ok, so this was maybe intentional (I kinda feel it was), maybe not, but cute none the less.

He talks about how the comments are lagging, slow, and says:

and then he thinks for a second, eyes looking to the side (mind working), and goes:

Kind of random, don't you think?

Coming up with the 13 seconds lagging.

And happening to end up with 10-13. 🤣🤣

So, he started the live at 9-1 and now we have 10-13!!!

I'd say, either this was intentional (him stopping to think might just hint to that) or the man has 13 etched on his brain. 13 and 10, which is kind of coming up very soon...

Next JK talks about the TikTok he deleted.

Now here's the thing. On Stationhead JK said he saw the trend and wanted to do it. Not a word about doing the opposite of the trend. Going "the other way". JK isn't saying he didn't want us to see the clip he uploaded (which kind of might have been what was understood from what he said in Stationhead, and maybe that's why he's clarifying here). He says he wanted his TikTok to be for dancing and that's why he deleted. He also seems to be happy that army had seen it and spread it around regardless of him deleting. So, he wanted us to see it, but better it not be on his TikTok. And the thing is that he posted it to start with. He knew that army will catch it and spread it. He knew!!! And he wanted us to. I don't know how to articulate this properly to make my point clearly, but the whole thing screams Queer coding to me. I talked about it in a previous post, and I stand by my words.

This wasn't about doing something silly and then regretting and deleting. This was about posting something with a message, and then deleting because it couldn't stay up on his account ("as long as it's not on my tiktok"), but relying on army to catch it and spread it around.

"Let's talk in English", reading out a comment...

The Nah, though, lol.

"English is so difficult", he says in English, lol.

Talks about how the comments are slow and the responses in Stationhead were immediate, and then, out of nowhere he's going...

Puiriri...

Well, he actually does this during Like crazy as well.

Nope, not JM on the brain what so ever...

"Korean is sexy"...him going with that's right, Korean is the hardest language... He actually talks about how the translations from English to Korean differ from translator to translator and how interesting that is. True about the opposite way as well, seeing the difference in the structures of both languages.

"You want to see me laugh?"

Funny, the original translations were "smile if you're real". Either way, he's hilarious.

I can't with him. LMAO.

Prepares drink no. 2.

Again, this man doesn't want to be called cute, but he's so damn cute, lol. Like how can you be preparing this alcoholic drink and still be so cute about it? Lol.

No tequila or champagne for JK.

"You want to have a drink with me?"

JK: You already all know it.

Why does it feel like JK is talking about so much more than just knowing his address is up on YT?

"You want me to call out my address? But you really can't visit me." Boundaries set once again. With a smile. But set none the less.

Plays a song he tells us he was recommended by one of the dancers while filming 3D MV. 21 by Gracie Abrams.

Says we'll be like this today "let's rest". How you can call what he does later as rest I have no idea, lol.

He shows us where he shot the TikTok clips, the corridor. Shows and explains a little how he does it.

Does a little clean up sesh in the kitchen. The way he was rearranging the bottles and utensils, while on live, was that intentional? Was it just his neuro divergency, getting distracted perhaps? Idk.

Asked if he ate, asks "what will I eat?" in English and tries to say something else or thinks maybe he didn't say it properly initially, but gives up, lol.

Then someone askes to hear Hobi's song. And JK is happy to go put on Jhope's song, saying he misses him. 😭

Says "Arson", twice, but then plays "More", lol.

Ok, so this is where we start with listening to the members songs, and I do have something to say about this.

JK plays 2 of Hobi's songs, and puts on a show.

If this is JK resting... Lol.

Sure he's tired...

After Hobi, JK plays Tae's Slow dancing.

Then stops the song, sits down saying how tiring have to rest and then says "Let's go with all the major songs for the members".

And guess who's next... one guess allowed... Of course you know the answer to that.

He has Like crazy playing twice in a row and then SMF pt. 2. He really LOVES SMF pt. 2. You can tell it means A LOT to him. Not that LC doesn't, but I feel that emotionally LC is harder for him, while SMF pt. 2 is cathartic (for JM and as such so meaningful to him as well).

He's all playful with LC.

We have this as well...

And at some point wants to do something, walks off camera looking for a prop, I guess, only to come back deciding it's a no go - won't be fun (me sitting here dying to know what he was up to).

The whole bottle empty during LC.

He moves on to Jin, 1 and a half songs, RM (3 songs) and Suga (2 songs).

Point being, the only member that gets only 1 song played is Tae. Ouch. The only member to have the same song played twice - JM.

So, let's talk a second about the whole Like crazy playing twice. Cause Idk if you get it. He listens to Hobi and then Tae's Slow dancing, then says "we have to listen to all the members", cause he ain't falling into the TKK trap, and he plays JM. Cause, of course it would be JM. But here's the thing. Each one of them was on a specific playlist. When he played a song it continued to the next song in line. Hobi he said Arson, but actually played More (which was interesting within itself), and then it went to On the streets. RM same, went down through his album, Suga the same. But not JM. He played Like crazy, and then following it, him not moving from his chair or changing the songs or going to play it again, it played it again. Same version. In the album Like crazy is followed by SMF pt. 2 (which did follow the second time LC played, and he did listen through that too). So my question is what kind of playlist JK has for JM? Does he just have these songs going on repeat? He gets up to stop it just at the end of SMF pt. 2, and I can't help but wonder what the next song would have been? SMF pt. 2 again maybe?

Of course he still remembers the choreo.

He talks about Jin and Super Tuna, how he's wild and that side of him is why the team is so bright. He really loves him so, and misses him.

"I miss my members".

Prepares drink no. 3.

The whole ceremony around the drink preparations... he's so funny.

He makes a comment about Jin's MV while looking towards where his whole music playing set up is. So, this is YT he's playing from? Which means these would be YT playlists? Which means he watches LC on repeat? I mean, who could blame him really?

Gets up to change the playlist to RM's songs.

While Flowerworks is playing he reads a comment and says:

"Did Mingyu cut his hair?"

Now, we know they saw each other later that night, getting together with others as well, but JK once again draws the lines here. He's a good friend definitley. Someone he hangs out with, of course. But knowing if he cut his hair... meaning being in constant contact with him or more than that, as there are some that might think... nope.

Ok, time to get serious.

He starts to talk about the members songs, their "colours are so different", and then he's asked after resuming activities in 2025 what he wants all the members to do together? Turns down the music a bit to get serious:

Make an album, quickly come out to see army, first priority of course. From the moment they get back together to find the way to come out as quickly as possible. "We will do Bon voyage...we will do In the soop..."

Stops, gets up to turn down the volume even more, and this is when you know he's delving even deeper, and getting even more serious. Sits down and continues...

Ok, I'm really not sure this is about the solo activities. He talks about that further on. I thought this when I first heard this during the live, and although the wording is slightly different I still think this is JK is sending us a message. They love us, they love each other. They will be coming back and they will be giving it their all. But that said, they will also have their own personal lives. Setting the stage, perhaps? For relationship announcements? Marriages on the way? He told us that he wants to make us happy, but to do so we have to understand that he deserves happiness as well. Is this one step further in that direction? yes their focus is on army, but with all of that they will also have their own personal paths.

He continues about them wanting to "look awesome" in front of us, or want to give us strength,

He knows what his top priority is, and he hopes we know that we are the reason. For real.

He continues to talk about coming back in 2025, releasing a song, saying it will be approx. 2 years.

They mustn't forget there are those rooting for BTS. Train, release an album, tour.

They will have to meet army around the world.

This is interesting:

They will reveal by doing shootings and "let your ears get pleased and let you watch our shows". Stories

"BTS is this kind of team". That is what they will show.

And what members each want to do, they can do that later. Him making clear that their first priority is the comeback as BTS.

Number one priority is about the group, and he makes sure we understand that this is not only him speaking but also true for every single one of them.

Again, army's importance to him. This isn't acting or being false or fake, this is genuinely what he feels. When said in a comment that army are because of BTS he corrects them, sets things straight: BTS are here because of army!!

And then this happens:

"Jeon Jimin?" he reads out a comment.

Now, I understand people think it's disrespectful because of the meaning it has in the West but the fact that in Korea people don't change their names after marriage. Thing is, Karmy nor JK, for that matter, really find it offensive? He doesn't even take it that way. To him it's someone putting their two names together, I'd say just like Jikook or minkook or kookmin. Nothing more nothing less. And he chooses to read it out. He could have just left it, but he decided to read the comment out.

This is when he remembers he has to play Suga's songs too, lol. Playing Haegeum.

"How can all the member have such different tastes in music? Isn't that fascinating?"

I love it that he feels that way. I love it that he knows how talented he is (especially knowing how he runs himself down intellectually). I love that he knows and appreciates the rest of the members talent as well. They are all different, and yet all outstanding each in their own way.

And not only does he see that in them, he also attributes his own growth as a person to them.

JK tells us how Yoongi told him off for not doing the Haegeum dance challenge, repeats it a couple of times too, how he was upset about it, lol. So he says he will do it. A little late, no? And he makes sure to make it clear that it won't be soon either. But it will go up on his TikTok.

Toilet break time.

Comes back, finishes up his drink and stops Amygdala to play Seven and 3D before he ends his live.

So, he chooses the explicit version of Seven. Sings along. Admits he's a little drunk and for now will stop drinking. Emphasis on "for now", lol.

Now, while he's playing Seven someone asks for him to play Slow dancing.

Once is enough, thank you very much!! Lmao. He just keeps shutting them down. It's also the way he says it, the intonation. Sound annoyed, lol.

Says he'll play 3D and say his goodbyes, which he does. Sings along to 3D as well, ad-libbing at the end, kind of wondering if this is something we will be getting in his live performances. It does feel like he chooses to sing certain lyrics while not others, in both Seven and 3D.

Then he says his goodbyes, to look forward to the album, to know that he is always thinking of us, to have a wonderful night and day and thanks us again .

So that's it. JK's live. Missed these lives of his, as exhausting as writing these posts are, lol. This is Jungkook. Cute and funny and serious and sincere.

[natlacentral]

The cast of Netflix’s adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender knows they can’t please everyone.

It’s a difficult life lesson that many of the show’s young actors have come to learn since they were chosen to star in a live-action reimagining of one of the most beloved animated series of all time.

Like any great saga, the latest iteration of Avatar has taken a circuitous route to the small screen. In 2020, two years after Netflix announced that it was developing a remake, original creators Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino departed the project over creative differences. A year later, former Nikita and Sleepy Hollow writer-producer Albert Kim officially assumed the role of creator and showrunner, intending to honor the Asian and Indigenous roots of his source material.

Since the debut of the new Avatar last Thursday, longtime fans have remained divided over the many changes that were made to turn a 20-episode half-hour children’s cartoon into an eight-episode serialized drama that has multigenerational appeal. But by maintaining the essence of the original while expanding the world that Konietzko and DiMartino have created, the new creative team is hoping to recapture some of the magic that transformed Avatar into a cultural phenomenon.

Every diehard fan can recite the basic premise by heart: The four nations — Water, Earth, Fire, Air — once lived in harmony, with the Avatar, master of all four elements, keeping the peace between them. But everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked and wiped out the Air Nomads. A century later, Aang (Gordon Cormier), a 12-year-old Air Nomad frozen in an iceberg, reawakens to take his rightful place as the next Avatar. With his newfound friends Katara (Kiawentiio) and Sokka (Ian Ousley), siblings and members of the Southern Water Tribe, Aang sets out on a quest to save the world from the onslaught of Fire Lord Ozai (Daniel Dae Kim) while avoiding being captured by Ozai’s tempestuous son, Crown Prince Zuko (Dallas Liu).

Almost every Zoomer who grew up watching Nickelodeon seems to have their own relationship with the original Avatar. Kiawentiio, whose older siblings would always have the show playing in their house, recalls being drawn to its depiction of a young Indigenous girl, at a time when there was scant representation of Native Americans. Ousley credits Avatar and Star Wars: The Clone Wars for inspiring him to take up martial arts. Liu has a vivid childhood memory of watching a restless Zuko and his tea-drinking uncle Iroh’s first scene together on a boat. Cormier, as the youngest of the bunch, admits that he had not watched the show prior to auditioning. But by the time he entered production, all he could do was live and breathe Avatar.

Daniel Dae Kim, who watched the original with one of his sons when it first aired, tells Teen Vogue that he held a kind of family meeting with his now-adult children and some of his nieces and nephews after receiving an offer from Albert Kim (no relation) to star in the new version. “I called all of them, and I said, ‘What do you think about me doing a part in Avatar?’ And they were like, ‘You should do it!’ without hesitation. Then I asked the next question: ‘Well, I’m playing Ozai. He’s a bad guy…’ They paused for a second, and then they all screamed, ‘You should still do it!’” he says with a laugh.

Once the cast was assembled, the creative team began the seemingly gargantuan task of trying to breathe new life into each of the characters. While the animated series dealt with weighty issues such as genocide, war and imperialism, there is an added human component in live-action storytelling that requires a more grounded approach to depicting real-life reactions and emotions. “We were all definitely allowed to look into the darker sides of each of our characters,” Cormier says. In Aang’s case, he is tasked with a responsibility that he doesn’t necessarily want but feels obligated to assume after discovering that he is the last living Airbender of his kind.

Aang is “naturally a really fun-loving, goofy 12-year-old, so to be hit with something so serious like a genocide [affecting] all of his people, it really affects him badly,” Cormier says. “We see in the first episode where I blow Katara and Sokka off the mountain how badly it’s affected me. It hurt me so much [that] I blasted into the Avatar state and started destroying my home. I think it just shows how serious and traumatic it is for Aang, but slowly, he’ll get through it and become the Avatar.”

The themes of loss and grief remain prevalent across all eight episodes, with each of the young characters being forced to confront their own unresolved trauma.

Katara is forced to reckon with how her memory of her mother’s death has affected her ability to become a full-fledged Waterbender. “Another thing that I feel like impacted her so much, without even really explicitly touching on it, is being the last Waterbender of her tribe,” Kiawentiio says. “She really feels so deeply connected with that part of [herself], even though it’s something that she can’t really access [at first], and she feels this sense of, ‘This is what I should be doing.’”

After his father left years ago on a mission to fight the Firebenders, Sokka was forced to grow up quickly and protect his tribe, especially his younger sister, from the waterbending abilities that had caused them so much pain. “Sokka is a perfect example of somebody that is not healed, is pushing stuff down and won’t let it come out, is putting on different masks to the point where he doesn’t even know who he is when we first find him,” says Ousley, who insisted on finding a way to bring out a more serious side in Sokka without losing his signature sarcasm in this adaptation. “I think the trauma that he has is covered up by humor often and covered up by acting silly, and he will have lots of moments where he actually discovers who he is.”

Zuko, however, may have the most compelling arc of the first season. Having been banished by Ozai from the Fire Nation, Zuko has effectively lost one father but gained another father figure in his Uncle Iroh (Paul Sun-Hyung Lee), who takes it upon himself to look after Zuko on his journey to capture the Avatar. In the first season, viewers see Zuko’s Agni Kai — or traditional Firebender duel — with Ozai, who was responsible for giving Zuko his prominent facial scar.

While Ozai “may not have the tools to do it the right way,” Kim understands that his character “is trying, in his own way, to shape his children into what he feels is necessary to secure the future of not only his family, but of the entire Fire Nation.” That kind of tough love, unfortunately, has done irreparable damage to his children.

In a dramatic departure from the original series, the writers decided to introduce Elizabeth Yu as Princess Azula earlier than in the original series. In doing so, the family dynamics between Ozai, Zuko and Azula become even more complicated. “Since Zuko’s away on his ship in the first season, you get a glimpse into, while he’s away, what is going on in the Fire Nation and who’s pulling all the strings,” Yu says. “For Azula, Zuko is very much more like a roadblock than anything else. You see that sense of family is not really there.”

“I think the writers did a good job of showing a rivalry between the two fighting for the father’s approval and attention without us directly interacting or speaking with each other,” Liu adds. “Zuko is just trying to prove he is worthy of his father’s love and attention just as much as Azula is. I think people will really come to root for Zuko because of everything that he’s been through.”

The production team was also keen to honor and recreate the costumes of the original series in a way that was not only beautiful but practical for the actors; Kiawentiio and Ousley had to wear heavy coats made of suede and fur, while Kim, Liu and Yu wore layers upon layers of corseted material with large shoulder pads.

“They really helped me complete the character because there was something about when I put on the wardrobe that made me walk [and] feel a certain way,” Kim says, “and it turned my character into someone more regal and powerful.”

It’s almost fitting that the most regal character is played by Hollywood royalty among Asian Americans. For the better part of the last three decades, Kim has been at the forefront of the movement to increase the visibility of Asian Americans in film and television. “The fact that I’m still working and able to see [the change] and be a part of it makes me feel very grateful, because success is not guaranteed to anyone in this business,” he reflects.

Kim believes the new Avatar is a reflection of today’s changing landscape in Western entertainment for more diverse stories that center Asian and Indigenous communities. “I don’t think it’s any secret to say that a live-action version has been done in the past, but it wasn’t done this way,” he says, referring to M. Night Shyamalan’s disastrous The Last Airbender film, which whitewashed many key characters. “I don’t think that it would have been done this way even five or 10 years ago because there wasn’t the same emphasis on proper representation and real diversity [that there is now].”

“I feel like we fought hard for the progress that we’ve made, and at the same time, I acknowledge that there need to be others outside of those of us in the community to push things forward,” he adds. “It takes a community working together along with allies.”

As the most accomplished actor of the group, did Kim have any advice for his younger castmates? “I don’t feel like it’s necessarily my place to be giving advice where it’s not needed or wanted, but it was nice of them to ask me about my experiences and how they could chart their own path forward in a business that’s very difficult,” Kim responds. “I can tell you that I really have been impressed by all of them, and I’m so excited to see the next generation of Asian American actors in particular come in with this attitude, with this opportunity. I would really love nothing more than to see them succeed beyond what we’ve seen in generations previous.”

The first season ends with Aang, Katara and Sokka successfully helping the Northern Water Tribe fend off a vicious attack from the Firebenders. Rather than following the advice of past Avatars, who stressed that he would have to bear the burden of his title alone, Aang realizes that he needs his friends to master all four elements.

“The Avatar still has to learn other elements, so we had to get the ball rolling on water and earth. If we did reach Season 2, I believe that we’ll find Aang already practicing water just because in the group he has quite the master to teach him,” Kiawentiio says with a smile, alluding to her own character.

But the last minutes of the finale also reveal that the attack on the North was actually a decoy for the Fire Nation. Ozai, as it turns out, had his sights on the Earth Kingdom — and his daughter, Azula, has taken over the Earth Kingdom city of Omashu with her own army. Aang’s old friend, King Bumi (Utkarsh Ambudkar), has now been taken prisoner.

“You have this idea of the prodigal son and you put all of your attention to someone who, in Ozai’s eyes, is failing him,” Kim says of the state of Ozai’s relationships with his two most powerful children at the end of the season. “So when there’s another child that you are not looking at in the same way that ends up surprising you, it’s a pleasant surprise, and it changes the way that you see the future. I think Azula was a surprise to him, and it brings him some joy, and he may have overlooked her in the past, but now he sees her as a real heir apparent.”

The revelation that his father has passed him over for his sister, at least for now, shakes up Zuko’s entire world, Liu says. “He feels a weird sense of betrayal because even though it is his sister and his father working against him, they are part of the Fire Nation, and his loyalty towards the Fire Nation was something that we know he was very persistent about, even though he was banished.”

Going forward, Kim would be interested in deepening the portrayal of Ozai’s relationships with his children, as well as his older brother, Iroh. “What is the relationship between the two of them when the second son supersedes the first? And how does Iroh feel about all of that? We never really see that explored,” he remarks. “I’d also like to see what happened to Zuko and Azula’s mom. These kinds of things are crucial to deepening the character, and I would love to see a little bit more of his history and how that informs who he is now.”

While the show has yet to be renewed for a second season, the young actors all have their own hopes for future seasons. Ousley would like to see Sokka “pick up the pieces” emotionally after the beautifully tragic end of his first love, Princess Yue (Amber Midthunder). Yu is ready to “do some of the really iconic Azula lines and scenes that we all know,” especially the Agni Kai in Season 3. Cormier is most excited to potentially adapt “Appa’s Lost Days” and the final fight scene between Aang and Ozai. “Throughout the show, I feel like he's going to learn more and more about why he has to be the Avatar,” he says.

[arabian-batboy]

I have been thinking about this for a while now (especially since I’m currently trying to draw adult Damian), but anyone else notice that Damian gets WAY more future-stories showing him as an adult compared to the other Robins?

Like Dick has been a kid/teen for what? The first 40+ years of his existence? Yet I can’t recall any instances showing how he would look like as an adult that were released in the 1940′s-1970′s (I’m sure they exist, but it probably just 1 or 2 comics) and even now as an adult, he constantly gets a plethora of flashback stories to when he was a kid. Same thing with Tim, who in the 34 years of his existence, barley got any stories that showed him as an adult, hell they don’t even portray current him as an adult even though he’s supposed to be in his 20′s by now (same thing in Jason’s 5 years run of being Robin, they never bothered showing Jason as an adult in that period)

All of them were allowed to be kids for long extended periods of time, yet with Damian......I don’t think I can even remember the last time DC went 6 months without showing him as a grown man in either illusions/dreams or possible futures where he’s either the new Batman or the new Demon’s head? Like the “Batman 666″ version of him was literally created less than a year after he was introduced as an 10 year old kid and I’m just really curious as to why DC is so eager to rabidly age him up and constantly portray him as an adult compared to other kid characters?

I’m assuming the reason why its so out-of-proportion with him is because they think Damian being a little kid would end up making him sympathetic to readers and they don’t want that to happen and that’s why they always need to remind us that he will grow up to be evil as an adult? Either that or maybe it’s because he’s Batman’s biological son and they think him being the future Batman is the only thing his character is good for.

[finalgirlminamurray]

by the way...finished bones and all (the book) recently

i think it was interesting but ultimately i do have to admit i think the movie did a better job of executing the concept. maybe i'd feel differently if i read the book first but i think it's an actually successful example of a film adaptation taking the broad strokes of the source material to build more of its own story. the basic plot remains the same but there are some significant differences in tone and what they choose to emphasize as well as some more minor details that add up to a very different experience

the author said she wrote this book shortly after going vegan and in the author's notes/acknowledgements at the end that a lot of people were surprised that she'd written a book about cannibals - then clarifying "well, ghouls, really, but cannibals is more recognizable a term" (something like that). thought this was interesting because the word "ghoul" never comes up in the book to describe what are usually just called "eaters". anyway i don't know why people were surprised that a vegetarian/vegan was writing about cannibalism because that seems to be a common thing among people who write about that.

the book wasn't shelved as ya in my library system but i heard it described as a young adult novel before reading it and i think in many ways it does really feel like one. granted i haven't read any young adult books since i was a young adult (i.e., a teenager) myself so i don't know that much about what the ya publishing landscape is really like but i wonder why libraries would be reluctant to classify this as such. is it because of the explicit horror elements? i think it's perfectly appropriate for teens and it feels like it's written from the mindset of one, in a good way

anyway, major differences between book and film are:

in the book maren is raised by her mother before being abandoned by her and going to search for her father; in the film it's the reverse. i think there's some significance here in how being an eater is tied to gender - it's not a gender-specific thing in either version but i feel like in the book most of the eaters maren meets are male. there's only one woman she remembers meeting once who she thinks might have been like her. she also notes that other girls really don't seem to like her and most of the people drawn towards her throughout her childhood were boys.

(there's also the fact that maren in the movie is mixed-race, and it's strongly implied her mother's family didn't approve of her marrying maren's father because he's black; as you might expect none of the characters' races are mentioned in the book and you can probably assume they're meant to be white. this definitely adds a whole lot more to the film's dynamics but it's mostly left to subtext. in the book maren keeps a scrapbook of various historical and literary incidents of cannibalism, and she and sully talk about polynesian people who eat their dead - none of this comes up in the film as far as i remember, though.)

in the book maren has been aware of her cannibalistic tendencies for most of her life and recalls several specific incidents throughout the book of her eating someone she got close to, after which her mom had to pack up and move again. in the film the first of these (her babysitter) is mentioned but if there were others she doesn't seem to remember them. (i'll probably have to watch the film again to refresh my own memory, but i'll take any excuse to.)

the way eaters feed is portrayed somewhat differently; the book seems to lean into the magical realist elements more and implies they can devour a whole person in a matter of minutes, leaving behind only what they can't digest. they also seem to go into a sort of fugue state where they aren't fully aware of what they're doing until it's over, and have a harder time controlling their urges. the film plays it a little more "realistically" and shows them eating like scavenger animals - this is one reason i liked the movie's portrayal of it better, i think. if you want the audience to think about the reality of consuming flesh you kind of have to show it in its full visceral glory

maren's relationship with lee is a little more ambiguous in the book; other characters assume they're dating, she wants to be his girlfriend, but he doesn't quite make it official until they near the end. the film fully makes it a romance between them and has this relationship be a core part of the story - they're also together for more of the plot in the movie, while in the book they separate and find each other again a few times.

maren is a lot less immediately distrustful of sully when she meets him in the book and is actually happy to see him whenever they meet up again. he still comes off as shady but not enough for her to be too creeped out; she's just glad to meet someone like her who seems to have some reasonable principles about how he feeds.

the big twist is that sully is maren's grandfather, being her own father's biological dad, who he never met after being abandoned as a young child. he tried and failed to kill and eat his son and sets his sights on maren instead. there's no familial connection stated in the film but since her mother there has the same backstory as her father in the book (found abandoned as a child and raised by adoptive parents) it's possible

towards the end, lee and maren hitch a ride with a college student who's moving back into her dorm; she offers to let them stay the night but won't let maren sleep in her room. lee ends up eating her and maren essentially takes over her identity so she can live and study at the school, which she enjoys until sully tracks her down. lee finds him attacking her in the dorm room and manages to kill him offscreen (most violence happens "offscreen" in the novel). then he and maren, finally feeling safe, have some drinks and finally sleep together, only for maren to wake up the next morning having eaten him. this is a very different ending than the film, in which lee asks maren to eat him after sustaining injuries in the struggle (and also they're working legitimately by the college), and highlights the book's emphasis on eaters' inability to control their hunger.

the book has more of a bleak ending, honestly, where it's implied that maren will forever be living this nomadic existence she wanted to avoid, unable to get close to anyone without killing them - but at the same time i think you could read it as more positive as she fully embraces what she is. still the nature of eaters in the book makes this a fundamentally different kind of story

the scene in the film where maren and lee meet two men who are both cannibals, but one of them is a born eater and the other just does it because he wants to - not in the book. the closest analogue is when maren goes to visit her father at the mental hospital (which goes mostly similarly to her visit with her mom in the movie, except he doesn't try to attack her at the end) and the nurse who's been taking care of her dad offers to let her have dinner and spend the night at his house. she gladly accepts, but later that night he starts talking about how alone he is and how fascinated he was by her father's nature as an eater, and asks her to do something for him - she doesn't let him finish and it's never revealed exactly what he was going to say but she's really freaked out and tries to leave immediately. he says before that "i don't even like women in that way" so i guess it wasn't something sexual? sources seem to think he wanted her to eat him. weird scene, but right after that she runs into sully again who reveals his true intentions and eats that guy, so we don't have time to dwell on it

speaking of which - the book both downplays maren's romance with lee and is a lot more heterosexual. in the film lee goes off with a male fairground worker and has sex with him before eating him, in the book that character is female (although he also doesn't seem to have done anything with her before eating her). at the same time, there's definitely something there about maren being a girl who other girls seem to inherently dislike for some reason and who has boys interested in her but always finds herself wanting something else from them...at the end she seems to be hitting it off with another guy but the very last lines imply that she's finally embraced her nature and is willingly eating him instead of fucking him. am i reaching for a queer interpretation? maybe! i'm just glad the movie made lee and maren bi (well, maybe it's more subtextual with her, but the first person we see her bite is a girl she's getting intimately close with)

in the film lee has a big confessional monologue about killing his own father; in the book he killed one of his mom's many boyfriends, and while his sister kayla didn't witness it, his girlfriend at the time did and ended up being sent to a mental hospital. this is maybe part of the reason for his and maren's argument before she goes to see her dad

other notes: the book takes place in 1997, the film takes place in 1988. in the movie maren is 18 when her dad leaves her, in the book she's only 16 when her mom leaves. (she's also a lot more resentful towards her mom for leaving her in the book, while in the film she doesn't seem to think about her dad much at all after he leaves; throughout the book she clings to an image of her dad as the perfect idealized parent she never got to have, which makes it especially hard for her when she finds out where he is.) lee's age is not stated in the film but in the book he's 19, which is interesting considering his seeming hesitance to enter into a relationship with maren. the film implies that sully killed kayla when they find what looks like her hair in his rope, but the book makes no mention of this.

overall: still love the movie, the book is something i'll have to sit with for a while i think. i would like to watch the movie again (which would be for a third time by now) with the added context i have of the book. i remain intrigued by the world it takes place in and i think it's a very beautiful movie. i think this was one of those cases where the author herself said the film was better than her book, and i don't always agree with those writers' own assessments, but in this case i'm glad she felt it conveyed the story well, even if some of the themes do feel significantly changed.

[hawkinspostnewspaper]

STRANGER THINGS: THE FIRST SHADOW SPOILERS - JOYCE MALDONADO

here is a compilation of all things I can recall from the play involving Joyce Maldonado

also to note: some things I am still a little confused about and will need to verify when I see it again soon. I will update as I rememeber things!

Joyce is in charge of directing the high school's musical for the season, directing her fellow schoolmates in her version of 'Dark of the Moon'

As the play revolves around witches and teased by other schoolmates to be about 'lesbians' and sex and all things inappropriate, so they cover it to the principal (Mr Newby, Bob and Patty's father) by pretending to be performing 'Oklahoma'

You can read more about the play here: Dark of the Moon (play) - Wikipedia

She is desperate to be awarded a scholarship for theatre direction as it will be her way out of Hawkins

Her relationship with Lonnie is teased by Walter Henderson who claims she only has eyes for bad boys usually over 25 years old, emphasising their age gap and his misbehaviour

There are few scenes of the two of them to explore their relationship but it is clear he does not believe in her wanting to leave Hawkins and not so supportive of her dream about the theatre scholarship - Lonnie is seen arrested in Hawkins PD too, that bothers Joyce

Bob is said to have a huge crush on Joyce and wants to get involved with the play to interact with her and build confidence to confess, but it seems Joyce is more preoccupied with her own future and getting the play done despite the chaos around her to notice (I will do a separate post for Bob in the play, but the show really emphasises how deeply and how long he loved her, making what happens in the series even worse)

Her opinion of Hopper is that he is lazy and a womaniser and has hurt many girls with his flirtations, though we don't see any of him doing that besides to her (again, I will do another post for Jim) - their relationship throughout the play is very much teasing and underlying hints of flirtation

Joyce, Bob and Hopper end up trying to solve the murder of several pets recently - there is a reward from Claudia Henderson for finding out who killed her pet cat, something Joyce believes Hopper is only in it for rather than to do the right thing

The 'Kids' soundtrack theme plays often when Joyce, Hopper and Bob are on stage together

They are lead to the Creel house, believing Victor to be the murderer

Joyce witnesses Hopper and his father have a fight at the PD when they try and appeal for help and arrest Victor Creel - she asks why he does not stand up to him more and it seems she begins to sympathise with him more here, also as he assures it was not all about the money for him to crack the case but to help and do something good

Hopper offers to drive himself and Joyce out of town, to Mexico or someplace, away from the dull and chaos of Hawkins - we know Joyce wants desperately to leave but she turns down the offer

The pair almost kiss at one point, her hands on his chest but are interrupted by Bob (I think?)

Joyce cast Henry as the lead male principal in her play because of his chemistry with Patty, her female lead - the adults knew Henry in high school

Joyce is pleased when she hears Victor Creel has been arrested, thinking her and Hopper's warning to the PD has helped

She runs into Henry, who all believed was missing since the incident with Patty and Mr Newby at the Creel House - as Hopper and Joyce were in Russia for ST4 they do not yet know what the kids do about Henry being responsible. I can't recall the specific dialogue of this scene but it could be said Joyce has her suspicions after the very tense interaction and then what happens to Patty moments later, Henry then going 'missing' (back in the hands of Brenner) by the end

It could also be inferred that Will was taken because of this interaction, though it doesn't seem to be the intended assumption

An invited guest who runs the scholarship programme attends the play's performance, Joyce is more stressed about controlling her unruly cast but all is well until Patty's tragic accident and she loses the opportunity

It is mentioned she used to work shifts at Enzo's restaurant

Her last scene set four years later in 1963 shows her working at Melvalds, which used to be a bar/diner/hang out spot. Jim visits now in his police training uniform and explains he will be heading out for military/police training/Vietnam

it has to be said that Isabella is an incredibly powerful force in her performance of Joyce and I hope you all get the opportunity to witness it! She has the perfect energy and also sounds so close to Winona without it seeming like a forced impersonation!

[kaelio]

IWTV: Claudia (2022)

I keep reflecting on changes made to Claudia for the AMC+ adaptation and chewing on the logic underlying them.

First off, I do think that they aged her up so they wouldn't have to contend with the child labor laws that apply to child actors (which, if I recall, would have meant they couldn't functionally film at night, among other things). I want to be really clear here: those laws are good, and it's also fine if this was the initial reason! I do, however, think it was not unlikely they would have aged her up regardless, and I think they made it work in their favor for the story. But I think this was probably a functional limitation before it was a creative decision. Again, this is fine—lots of good creative decisions come from having to work within new parameters. And it means we got Bailey Bass, which is great!

Changing her age does do a few interesting things, though. First off, it means she's achingly close to being able to be semi-independent. Close, but probably not quite there. In the book, there's horror ascribed to the idea that Claudia 1) doesn't even remember being human and is, as such, a 'pure' vampire and 2) she doesn't even approach passing for an adult and is wholly dependent on a companion who makes her presence credible.

This Claudia can pass for a young woman, but she can't quite pass for a mature adult. There are situations where she can be out by herself without it seeming like she needs intervention. It's not all places, but there are some places, in a way there were no places for book-Claudia. But this also means Claudia can feel how near she is to something she is still being denied based on age and race. In the scene where they go to approach Tom Anderson about the party, Claudia is part of that conversation in a way that book-Claudia obviously wouldn't have been.

It does also make it more comfortable for the audience to engage in the discussions about her sexuality. Okay, so this gets back a little bit to the differences between the books and the show overall. Vampires don't have physical sex in the books, so even though Claudia's fascination and anguish about sex exists, it exists as something she can't and never will have, and the complex content with Louis is always defined in purely non-sexual terms. I think they made this change so that, you know, Louis and Lestat could have sex, but once you've opened the "vampires can have sex" window, you have to take that into account for everyone.

(Note: People act like it's a given that Claudia won't have partner/romantic interest in Louis in this version, and I genuinely don't think we've necessarily established that.)

All in all though, we now have a "Claudia at the cusp of adulthood" and not a "Claudia utterly divorced from adulthood" and that matters the entire run. It completely changes the prison that she's in.

Oh, and it's also worth thinking about why she's conscious for this event in this version. That is to say, to ensure that the audience and Claudia have no ambiguity about how that transpired. She knows the precise circumstances in a way that Claudia from the book doesn't.

In the adaptation she, like Louis, is Black; even though that makes sense to us as an audience and we accept it readily, it was still a decision that the adaptation specifically made. I'd argue it matters because there's a completely different dynamic if Claudia is Black than if she is non-Black. If Claudia is, say, white, like in the book, then a lot of what she's experiencing will be interpreted as a consequence of gender—the only woman in the household—and her relationship with Louis would come across differently. It's worth considering what the alternative would have looked like, to understand why casting Bailey was the right move.

Now, that is an interesting thing to have changed particularly when you think about it in tandem with other changes made to her background. In the book, Claudia is found in the presence of her deceased mother. They were not, to my recollection, impoverished (although their home is not described very clearly). Though Black citizens in New Orleans didn't have the same opportunities and therefore were forbidden from many channels of generating wealth, and therefore it makes sense she isn't from an affluent background, Claudia's is especially grim. Book-Claudia has a deceased mother and her father was waiting for them by ship (then by that time gone from the story). However, she has not lived life as an orphan. The kind of destitution that Claudia has experienced in the adaptation is far more explicit, including some of the associated hazards, like sexual harassment/abuse from caretakers that she's not in a good position to remove herself from.

In fact, Claudia's circumstances were about as grim as they can get. She could have had a mother who died in the event (maybe they thought this overly-underscored how appalling what Louis and Lestat did was) or had died more recently, or Claudia could have simply have been found in the fray without us knowing the home she came from: it's a specific and deliberate decision to make Claudia from the worst possible circumstances not only of race, but of economic class.

I actually find class pretty wildly under-discussed in discourse about the show, because race and class are not separate. Claudia is nominally aligned with Louis on many racial topics, but her economic background also adds a lot of irreproducible depth here. And again, in this version she is old enough to remember that life.

Claudia, in the adaptation, has wildly warranted critiques of both of them that she can't really voice because she depends on them. (Again, this is also from the books but it's handled differently here.) Of the two, she has more forbearance for Louis, but I'm really hoping that we delve into what may be part of what was cut from the diary of their trip to Europe. I know things always have to be cut for time, but did Louis ever, for example, offer to give her the money that might help her get away? Or was it like Grace and the house, where he has automatic assumptions of where the women in his life fall? Does she know what he used to do with other impoverished women? Does she ever wonder how in a life where he never met Lestat, that might have been her?

It's especially easy in the "happy years" part of the show, including her apparent initial impressions, to forget how much Claudia has been wronged and victimized by her conversion to vampirism. In vampirism and the household specifically, Claudia is in prisons they made, including her own body. She gets a little piece later on about it, but I really wanted to see more and I sincerely hope we get it. She's not a third wheel, she's an essential character in this story and her perspective still gets overlooked in the dialogue about the show, which I think is a shame.

[sunnysam-my]

One of the funniest things in Criminal Minds to me was the writers poor attempt at making Reid look super smart. I say poor because, if you know anything about what they claim Spencer can do, you know why it's ridiculous.

1. Speed Reading.

It's a unique skill Spencer has that's used often through out the show. He claims he can read 20,000 words per minute. The thing is, the way he does it makes no sense.

First of all, when speed reading, you pay the price of comprehending the text. It is suggested by experts that speed-reading is most useful to those who need "to skim a large amount of material or need to improve their study skills" and less useful to those who read "highly technical material that requires careful study of each sentence". A lot of what Spencer reads is exactly that.

Second of all, on a normal book page, about 250-300 words fit on a page. Unless my math is incorrect, if he can read 20000 w/m then he can read 333.333 per second. He can read a book page in less than a second.

Even if my math is wrong, the average word count for adult fiction and non-fiction is between 70,000 to 120,000 words. ​The average word count in a book is between 60,000 and 100,000 words. He can read a 80,000 words long book in 4 minutes. He could read the entirty of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (~75,000 words) in less than that.

2. Eidetic Memory

Again, I'm not really sure the writers even know what that means. Eidetic memory, also (incorrectly) known as total recall and photographic memory, is the ability to recall an image from memory with high precision, at least for a brief period of time, after seeing it only once.

The key words here are for a brief period of time. Unlike with photographic memory, it's a vivid afterimage that lingers. Additionally the memories often contain minor errors, including information that was not present in the original visual stimulus.

It's a very complicated and interesting matter, you can look into it more, but basically the writers just used it as an ass excuse to give Spencer perfect memory.

3. The Star Puzzle

I genuinely laughed at this scene. The Star Puzzle is literally a beginner-medium level puzzle. I have that star, I can see only 2, maybe 3 ways you can make a mistake while assembling it. My mom, who doesn't do those regularly like I do, only needed 15 minutes to figure out all on her own. The hard part is physically putting it together, because, until it's complete, nothing is holding the pieces together and they fall through your hands.

Noticed another thing? The way she describes it? "It's basically impossible to figure out. You have to put all the pieces back together to form a star." "It's basically impossible to do, because you have to take all those pieces and put them exactly…-" Like, yeah? That's how puzzles work??? Congratulations? All puzzles work like this. You have to put them together in the only correct order or solved them using the only solution. It's rare for puzzles to have more than one solution, that's kinda the point of them. And yeah, you can cheat usually, like with the star if you assemble it loosely and jam the last piece, but that's not the same.

And the thing is, there are harder versions of this, but no, they had to go with the identical 6 pieces. This just makes her look like an idiot.

4. His geeky overreactions were very reasonable, actually.

TBH I stopped watching CM a while ago, so don't remember as many situation as I used to, but I remember Phantasmagoria scene. Maybe this is more of geeky pet peeve of mine, but whatever.

Reid is 100% underselling Phantasmagoria here. It's not just a horror theatre play with a bit of science magic to spook the audience. They literally invented holograms for this.* Our modern image of a ghost? It's all thanks to Phantasmagoria which used live holograms** so the actors playing ghost could appear to be half transparent and floating.

You can still think that's not that cool, but wait, there's more. Other than that it used projects and many other 'magic tricks' to not only bring the monsters to life, so you can see them, but also feel them. Phantasmagoria used many special effects outside of visual illusion to make you feel cold winds, smells blood e.t.c. That's better than any other movie you can go to, especially since we're talking about reenactment, which use improved technology. Although you won't get drugged drinks before going in nowadays, so count that as a win or loss. On top of that, reenactments of Phantasmagoria are rare and for many this may be the only chance in their life to see it.

It's kinda like a walk-through haunted house, except you don't walk and there's a plot. The scene shows Spencer as some weird geek for being excited, which sucks. In general I could talk about how awful the teammates are to him half of the time, but that's not my biggest problem here. We as an audience are meant to find Reid's excitement and knowledge as lame and nerdy, but he's not even overreacting. That's a very tamed reaction when you invite your friends to possibly one in a lifetime chance to see this amazing horror magic, horror, theatre play.

*For horror shows in general, a bit earlier than Phantasmagoria, but it gave birth to it.

**Pepper's ghost isn't technically holographic, but you get it. Most people call it that anyway.

[melishade]

“Attack on Prime Autobot Anthology: A New Identity

Main Story

Optimus’ perspective

Mikasa Ackerman

Wheeljack’s Perspective

(This is something I should have done ages ago, and part of me is ashamed that I didn’t do it considering what I know.)

“So your Wrecker unit is considered like the Survey Corps correct?” Hanji asked as she continued to take some notes in the driver’s seat of Wheeljack’s alt mode.

“Did you do dangerous missions that no one would come back from?” Wheeljack asked through the radio.

“Oh, absolutely,” Hanji answered, “Survival rates were in the gutter before Optimus showed up. Hell, even Megatron helped reduce the count.”

“That will never not be shocking,” Wheeljack proclaimed.

“Thanks for taking me to the neutral ship by the way,” Hanji said to Wheeljack.

“You did tackle my hood and begged me to take you,” Wheeljack retorted, recalling how Hanji practically jumped onto the front window with a big grin on her face.

“Sorry, I’m just really excited,” Hanji apologized.

“It’s fine. You’re still a lot of fun,” Wheeljack said.

Hanji smiled a little before returning to her notes. “So back to the Wreckers, they disbanded after Cybertron went dark and you tried to find them before coming to Earth.”

“Yep,” Wheeljack answered. “We used to be a pretty big group from Combiners to Minicons.”

“And Minicons are smaller versions of you guys?” Hanji recalled.

“Yeah,” Wheeljack answered, “We saved a Minicon called Honk when the war started and they were so inspired that they wanted to join our team.”

Hanji paused at that. “They?”

“Yeah, they,” Wheeljack answered.

“Honk’s multiple people?” Hanji asked.

Wheeljack was quiet for a moment before realizing what was happening. “Oh right! You humans have this weird thing about gender!”

“Excuse you?” Hanji was confused.

“Well, from what I understand, you guys have this weird thing about being only mech or femme. Sorry, male or female. On Cybertron, it doesn’t matter. You could be they, it, all of it, none of it,” Wheeljack explained, “I think the humans got better at it now, but I haven’t been paying too much attention to that.”

“So then, Honk goes by ‘they’ and ‘them’?” Hanji asked.

“You got it,” Wheeljack answered, “Humans call it ‘non-binary’. At least that’s what Miko told me.”

Hanji hummed at that as she took some more notes in her notebook. “And non-binary people don’t have a gender?”

“No, it’s like a third gender if that makes sense,” Wheeljack answered, “You’re not a mech of femme. You’re just someone else.”

“Do I have to look a certain way?” Hanji asked.

“No you don’t have to-,” Wheeljack paused at the way Hanji phrased that question, “Something on your mind?”

Hanji thought it over as she tapped her pencil against the notebook. “Guess I’m questioning some childhood and adult related stuff.”

“...my knowledge about this stuff is a tad bit spotty,” Wheeljack proclaimed, “But I can tell you what I know.”

“That...would be great.” Hanji smiled at that.

=============

Later

Optimus was...a little confused. He had returned from training Eren earlier today because he wanted to collect parts that could be used as resources for the 3D gear. He went to his station where the energon liquefier was to work, but he saw Hanji on the table. She was mumbling to herself as she mulled over notes that were scattered all around her.

“Hey, Chief,” Wheeljack greeted, causing Optimus to turn to the Wrecker. He was leaning against the wall as Hanji’s mumblings continued.

“Hanji’s still on that,” Wheeljack remarked.

“What happened?” Optimus asked.

“...I think I might’ve caused an identity crisis,” Wheeljack answered.

“What?” Optimus snapped his helm to Wheeljack.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Wheeljack insisted.

Optimus’ mouth formed a thin line before he walked into the room. “Commander?”

Hanji snapped her head to Optimus and smiled. “Oh, Optimus hi! Sorry, if I’m a little distracted. I’m just going over notes I took from Wheeljack.”

“Is this about a new project?” Optimus asked.

“No, it’s about the possibility that I might be this thing called ‘non-binary’,” Hanji answered.

Optimus was surprised by Hanji’s answer before turning to Wheeljack, who merely shrugged in response.

“Well, I think,” Hanji continued, “When Wheeljack was explaining what he knew it just got me thinking about my own life. When I was a kid, I never liked dresses or even being a proper lady as my mother put it. I never really conformed to what the Walls wanted me to be as a lady because it just didn’t feel right for me. At the same time, I never felt like a man. I don’t think. I’ve worn suits; I like suits. But never felt the need to do stuff that men do, I guess. I still like how I look. I like my hair. I like my figure and don’t feel the need to change that. Maybe this is just how I feel in my gut. Wheeljack says I don’t have to look a certain way to be non-binary. I can just be me. And I have never known that there was a word for it until Wheeljack told me. There’s actually a word to what I’ve been feeling for a good portion of my life.”

Optimus could see Hanji growing more nervous as they continued. “But part of me wants to be sure? I guess? I mean what if I’m wrong about this? What if I ‘grow out of it’? What if this is sudden and I need more time? If I stay this way, will it affect the way people treat me? How many people would treat me differently? Would I lose friends because of it? I’ve always been seen as the ‘mad scientist’ or a ‘maniac’ but my contributions still mattered. Would people treat me with less respect even though I’m a commander?”

Hanji laughed before continuing. “I just...I’ve never been so...unsure about something like this before.”

Optimus sat down in the makeshift chair and folded his arms on the table. “You are afraid.”

Hanji laid back on the table and looked up at the Prime. “...yeah. I’ve faced titans, but...it’s weird to be afraid of something like this.”

“Change is daunting,” Optimus explained, “You are trying to understand another part of yourself that you might not have considered before, and you are afraid of the consequences of that.”

“Does it make it a bad thing?” Hanji asked, “What if...people think this is a choice? I don’t think it’s a choice...Is it?”

“No, it is who you are,” Optimus declared, “And your identity in this does not change the fact that you are a brilliant mind and a good friend. No matter what happens, I will always be by your side like I always have.”

Hanji felt tears coming out of their eyes and quickly wiped them away. Hanji picked up one of the papers to their notes that had a circle around the question ‘who am I?’. They flapped the paper a little before looking back up at Optimus. “In your all-seeing wisdom, you happen to have some extra information on this, would you?”

“There are a quite a few figures on both Cybertron and Earth who identify as non-binary,” Optimus explained.

“Really?!” Hanji asked excitedly.

Wheeljack could only watch in stunned silence as Optimus explained his knowledge on the matter, with Hanji listening in great interest. The Wrecker couldn’t help but smirk at the sight before leaving the two alone. Only on this world.

=========

A few days later

“Any idea why the Commander called this meeting?” Jean asked as the Survey Corps sat down in the makeshift classroom.

“Maybe it’s a new plan for how to deal with Marley,” Armin suggested, “Or maybe it’s about Hizuru.”

“I’m kind of hoping not,” Eren admitted, “The ambassador still rubs me the wrong way.”

The door opened again and the Survey Corps were surprised to see Nile, Pixis, and Zackley enter the room.

“Sir!” A good portion of the Survey Corps stood up and saluted their superiors.

“I assumed this was a private meeting,” Zackley remarked as they all sat down in the empty chairs that they spotted.

Nile turned his attention to Levi. “Any idea what this is about?”

“Not a clue,” Levi answered as he leaned back in his chair.

“You’re Hanji’s second in command,” Nile retorted.

“Have you actually tried to keep track of Hanji?” Levi shot back.

“...fair enough,” Nile sighed.

Hanji slightly peered inside the room, seeing the Survey Corps and military heads talking with one another. They found themselves flexing their fingers to shake the uneasiness that they were feeling.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Hanji confessed as they turned to Optimus’ holoform.

“You can do this,” Optimus reassured them, placing a hand on their shoulder, “Try to view this as one of your regular meetings.”

“But...it’s not.” Hanji smiled sheepishly, trying to hide their nervousness.

“I know,” Optimus said to them, “But no matter what happens, you will always have me as your ally.”

Hanji smiled at that. “Thanks Optimus. Can you...give me a moment and head inside?”

“Of course,” Optimus answered as he entered the room. They could hear the people in the room asking Optimus questions about their location, but the Prime stated that they would be there momentarily.

Hanji took a deep breath and slapped their cheeks. No turning back now. They were a member of the Survey Corps. They were the Commander! They could do this!

Everyone in the room turn their attention to the door as Hanji walked into the room. Hanji glanced at Optimus, who merely nodded his head in encouragement. The Commander then grabbed some chalk and turned their attention to the board before writing.

“For the past few days, I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery and identity,” Hanji explained, “I have learned that gender is a social construct and that I do not fall into the gender norms set by the Walls.”

“Wait what?” Connie spoke in confusion.

“I do not identify as a man or a woman,” Hanji continued. They finished writing before pointing to the words they wrote. “I am non-binary, and my pronouns are they/them.”

Hanji then pulled out a stopwatch and set the time. “I will now allow three minutes of questions to address confusions.”

Hanji placed the stopwatch on the table. “Go.”

“...huh?” Jean said in confusion. Hanji grew tense when Levi wordlessly got up and left the room. They turned to Optimus, but the Prime merely gave a quiet nod in reassurance. Mikasa raised her hand.

“Yes.” Hanji pointed to her.

“How long have you known?” Mikasa asked.

“I suspected since I was kid, but I didn’t have the proper knowledge until Wheeljack and Optimus told me about it,” Hanji explained.

“Gender is more of a human concept and not common on Cybertron,” Optimus explained, “We have mainly adopted it for human translation.”

“What?” Eren was baffled.

“Oh, me!” Sasha shot her hand up.

“Yes.” Hanji pointed to Sasha.

“So how does...down there work?” Sasha asked.

“My biology does not change in this situation,” Hanji answered.

“But isn’t sex and gender the same thing?” Armin asked.

“Sex is referred to the biological condition while gender is based on the cultural conditions and expectations of a society,” Optimus explained.

“So we will have to start addressing you as ‘they’ in the reports?” Nile asked.

“Is that a problem?” Hanji demanded.

“It’s going to cause some confusion for a while. I just need to be prepared,” Nile explained, “Honestly, this is not even the weirdest thing you’ve done.”

“Was this decision based on anarchy reasons?” Zackley asked.

“It’s based on acceptance of myself,” Hanji explained, “The anarchy I guess is a bonus?”

“I respect both either way,” Zackley proclaimed.

The door opened and Levi walked back into the room with a bucket in his hand. He set the bucket on the table before sitting down in his chair with his arms crossed.

“...okay,” Hanji spoke with uncertainty, “And other questions?”

Floch raised his hand. “What do we call you rank wise?”

“Them?” Jean answered with a guess.

“No, like you’re a Commander, but if ‘sir’ is meant for a man and ‘ma’am’ is meant for a woman, how do we address you?” Floch clarified.

Hanji placed their hand under their chin. “That...is a good question...Commander will work for now until further notice.”

“Thank you,” Floch said.

“Does anything about how you look change?” Eren couldn’t help but ask, “Do you just not look like a male or a female? Can it be both?”

“I can still decide how I want to dress,” Hanji explained, “Besides, I’ve never really dressed like a woman in the first place.”

“...are we going to get in trouble if we call you by your previous ‘pronouns’?” Jean asked, “Cause this might take some getting used to.”

“If it’s by accident, I won’t fault you for it,” Hanji explained.

“That’s dumb,” a scout declared.

“Excuse you?” Hanji demanded.

“It’s dumb,” the scout repeated, “This just some weird concept and you’re a w-,”

Levi shot up, grabbed the bucket, and chucked it at the Scout before he could finish his sentence. The bucket made direct contact with his face, shattering his nose and knocking him to the floor. The soldiers next to him look down in shock, realizing that he was unconscious.

“Anybody else got something to say?” Levi demanded, earning urgent shakes from the others.

“Captain, that was unnecessary,” Optimus proclaimed.

“A point needed to be made,” Levi declared before turning to Hanji. Levi saw the tears of joy in Hanji’s eyes but ignored them for the moment. “Does your hygiene improve in any of this?”

Hanji couldn’t help but laugh with the tears in their eyes. “C’mon Levi, you know me better than that.”

Levi sighed in defeat. “You sure about this? People are going to have shit to say.”

“Probably. I still have questions I don’t have the answer to, but...now I’m sure,” Hanji declared, “Now I am.”

Hanji managed to catch the ghost of a smile on Levi’s face, bring them that much joy. Arcee’s holoform opened the door to the classroom. 

“Sorry I’m late. Wheeljack told me there was a meeting...” Arcee trailed off when she noticed the unconscious soldier on the ground, “What happened?”

“Hanji is a they/them now!” Sasha answered.

“Oh scrap, really? Congrats,” Arcee said.

“Thank you.” Hanji couldn’t help but be choked up at Arcee’s praise.

The day...proceeded as normally as it could be in this situation. Some soldiers gave Hanji weird looks, but quickly stopped once they all heard what Levi had done. Historia and Ymir had provided their congratulations at Hanji’s news. Hanji did send a letter to Erwin; they didn’t know how he would respond. The Autobots caught on quickly with Hanji’s pronoun changes. The Survey Corps struggled a little a quickly apologized for their mistakes but managed to catch on for the most part by the end of the day. 

There was still one hurdle they were certain was going to be an issue.

Hanji was sorting through some of their paperwork to ensure that the documents were getting their pronouns right. It was something they were going to have to watch out for from now on. They didn’t know how much malicious compliance or contempt was going to come their way, so they needed to be prepared. But they were happy.

Hanji heard a knock on their office door and stood up. They walked over to the door and opened it, feeling a little tense when they saw Megatron’s holoform leaning against the wall.

“Oh, it’s you,” Hanji remarked.

“Have you figured out the schedule for the Wrecker and Two-Wheeler?” Megatron demanded.

“Work in progress,” Hanji replied, “I was going on a journey of self-discovery.”

“Really?” Megatron deadpanned, “What could someone like you go on a journey like that for?”

“I’m non-binary. My pronouns are they/them, and you fuck that up even once you can consider our little deal off,” Hanji warned.

Hanji expected the former warlord to bite back. To insult them and not even respect them. But they were surprised to see that Megatron wasn’t even phased by their threat. “That’s it?”

“The fuck do you mean ‘that’s it’,” Hanji demanded, “This was very difficult for me to figure out and even accept.”

“I’m sure the Prime has explained that your human concept of gender is different on Cybertron,” Megatron assumed.

“So you’re completely fine with me being non-binary?” Hanji questioned, “The genocidal maniac that hates humans is fine with my pronouns but not members of my own species? You actually draw the line somewhere?”

“You humans are so primitive.” Megatron sighed as he stood up, “If you have nothing for me, mad scientist, then I’m leaving.”

“I can’t believe you’re the least of my problems today,” Hanji declared.

Megatron rolled his eyes before deactivating the holoform. The Commander then shut the door behind them and...felt a weight lifted off their shoulders. Hanji took a deep breath before smiling in contentment. It was still going to be an uphill battle, but...they had people who gave a damn. That was enough.

(When I first got into Attack on Titan, it was through the anime, and I was introduced to Hanji as she/her. That’s what I wrote for AOP so far. It wasn’t until years later that I learned that Isayama never specified Hanji’s gender, keep it as neutral as possible in the manga, and left it up to the reader’s interpretation. 

...As someone who literally saved Ymir from her fate and tries her best to be as inclusive as possible, this was supposed to be a no fucking brainer for me. And I was definitely not going to do it at the last possible second because that is also another form of a cop out and I refuse that. No. No way. I just wasn’t sure how to introduce it because I assumed with how primitive the Walls are they wouldn’t know what the hell non-binary meant. And then I remembered the Covenant of Primus where Alpha Trion stated that gender was a human concept, and I’m like, ‘Okay I have something’. 

I just hope I did it justice because I am a cis woman and know nothing of the topic! I had to read a bunch of articles and first hand accounts and ask a few people on tumblr. Shout out to @gelu-the-babosa-multiversal @asunnycoffee @justawannabearchaeologist and @echoblaze5 for letting me know if I needed to fix anything. But if I have written anything here that is offensive in any way, please let me know and I will fix it. Thank you so much for reading and now I have to do a shit tone of corrections for future chapters.)

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1-2, Chapter #08

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CW: Some of my analysis in this post touches the topic of suicidal ideation (there will be a warning around that portion).

I’m doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc.

The volume numbers will be mismatched for most of the remainder of Trigun, since the Japanese first edition is 3 volumes while all later versions are 2 volumes.

As always, here are the non-analysis panels aka just my homosexual mumbling:

And the rest is under the cut.

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

This chapter is the beginning of the Japanese Volume 2, which is from #08 to #13 (plus the pilot as a bonus).

Starting off with the cool as balls shot of Vash being shot a billion bullets at! I did write "rule of cool" here since I thought he was just magically evading the firing squad. However, on second thought, I think Neon specifically ordered the gang to not actually shoot him, judging by how he says "not bad" immediately afterwards. It's his way to test Vash, to see if he flinches.

[cw sui] The "You ain't afraid of dyin', are ya?!" line stuck out to me a lot... Many rereaders (and I assume first-timers too, at this point in the bookclub) know that Vash is... casually suicidal? I'm not sure if that's the right way to put it, but he doesn't have much of a sense of self-preservation. He's not seeking death, of course, but he's not exactly avoiding it either.... This becomes much more apparent and relevant at the end of Trigun and in Maximum, so I'll leave it until I get to those parts. [/cw]

Dear god the crotch shot. okay (squeezing this into a row because I don't really want this guy's balls to take up the whole screen lmao)

I've always loved how Nightow draws these circles to show spinning motion in his artwork!! It's simple but it really pops... it's just so so (chef's kiss)

I wonder just what Vash's next move was going to be here? He's pretty much cornered... but I guess he can always get out of any situation, as he usually does.

Vash's expression of sheer confusion is golden. I love him lmao

Meryl!!!!!!!!! Milly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We missed you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love how immediately after he calls Meryl a little girl he gets spooked by the Big Girl instead.

This is not directly translatable, but I find Milly's line here very cute. In Japanese, she says「…私は――　ミリィ…トンプソンとゆいます　えとえとイチオー スタンガンミリィとは私のコトをゆいます」 The correct word for "I'm called [smth]" here would be 言います(iimasu), but the pronunciation ゆいます(yuimasu) is a bit childish in this context. If I recall correctly, isn't Milly the youngest of many siblings? Maybe it's a little quirk showing that youngest-sibling aspect of hers.

Meryl asking Vash to be a "responsible adult" for once.... lol

This is the first time his name has been called since his encounter with Kaito and the beginning of the BL gang' hijack. I completely forgot that Kaito has no idea who he is!! Vash didn't give him a name; he's just been calling him あんた("you") the whole time!!

Excuse the messier handwriting from here on… I was working on this during a car ride.

A detail in the Japanese version - this line was originally written「おまえが消したって話んなってるJULY(あのまち)だが…」with "JULY" having a ruby pronunciation note of あのまち("that city").

This part was initially written to be a translation suggestion but I decided to just keep it a JP phrasing note:

「あのガレキが俺の見た最初の風景だ」 "That mountain of debris was the first thing I saw."

Translation suggestion - Here, Neon says「サシの勝負だ」, where サシ means "face-to-face" or "one-on-one." I would say it's more like "This fight is between just the two of us," to show more of the respect Neon has for Vash.

More of this respect is shown in the next page, where they make a promise that Neon will step back if Vash wins the duel. Neon recognizes Vash's skill and ideology, and treats him as an equal.

And here's the action!

I found interesting that Neon's war-cry/exclamation "ha" was actually written in kanji as 派. The kanji by itself means group or faction, but considering Neon's character, maybe it's supposed to be a reference to the word 派手(hade), meaning "gaudy?"

This duel definitely isn't following regular duel rules... but no one said it was unfair or anything. Maybe this is just how they are in No Man's Land.

Neon shoots with his dynamo-gun (?) instead of his cool engraved pistol.... Anyways, his first strike is at Vash, and they all hit the rocks that are falling between them. Vash then shields himself with one of those rocks by jumping in the same direction as it.

And he's doing another frontflip!! In sync with the falling rock!! With a wound in his gut!! In midair and upside down, he precisely shoots five rounds into Neon. It hits his dynamo, but looking closely I can see that maybe he got his arm shot too.

damn....

A bit of a tangent - many of Neon's actions are reminiscent of old Japanese culture, which is very interesting. His pose during his first appearance in Chapter #05 (how did i remember that. i checked just in case and i was right), where he sort of squats and extends his open palm to the front, is a very stereotypical kabuki pose. Again, I don't know about the specifics of kabuki, but his pose on the the panel where Vash jumps also looks kabuki-esque to me. Neon's respect towards Vash as a fellow gunslinger and his beliefs on dignity reminds me of bushidō. It's not representative of all aspects, of course, but there are definitely elements incorporated in his character.

This line (including the speech bubble after it) is a bit weird when translated so it will have to be tweaked, but a direct translation would be:

「このままではブレーキングはおろか…　船体ごと爆発する可能性があります！！」 "If it continues like this, the ship itself may blow up, let alone brake!!"

I'm pretty sure "brake" (miswrote in the image, will fix later) here means that they won't be able to put on the brakes due to the boiler malfunction. But I don't know shit about machinery or how to phrase this. (shrug)

That’s it for Chapter #08! As always, the Japanese annotations are in the reblogs.

[garthofshayeris]

How can all of Garth’s personality, relationships, and history became irrelevant to the current comics runs? What happened?

Great question! After Flashpoint happened, the Dc Universe reset. For a lot of comics, there were no major character or lore changes. However, the Aquaman comics got a major overhaul.

It’s important to note that Aquaman lore has changed over the years, but the changes were either slow or the kept much of the same characterization, but updated certain aspects. For example, although Death of a Prince takes place in the Bronze Age of comics, it was playing off dynamics already established in the Silver Age, and the story was tweaked slightly when the post-crisis reboot happened, so the events were still relevant in Volumes 4-6 (80s-early 2000s). The lore expanded to say, these major elements are still here! We have changed some things, and here they are! And this is how it effected what you might be familiar with, etc.

Then comes the New52. In order to make the comics easier for newcomers to read, about 90% of the characters and Atlantean history were removed completely from canon. This includes Garth, who was the longest-running humanoid supporting character!! (Topo the octopus is the longest-running returning character, and for the record they also got rid of him)

They re-did Arthur’s backstory (adapted to something similar to his Silver Age origins) and some characters, like Orm, were completely re-done as well to fit the new lore. They did not do this for Garth; in fact, every major element of his character that tied him to the story was removed. His kingdom I mentioned in that last ask? Gone. Atlan, the wizard who trained him? Gone (although they do re-use that name, the New52 character named Atlan is not Atlan from previous stories). The rumor about purple eyes? Actually not gone, but they did completely change what it meant and when we meet an entire community of purple-eyed Atlanteans, Garth is not among them. (Purple eyes have been an element to his character since his introduction, btw)

“But comicvine says Garth appeared in the New52!” I hear you cry. Technically true. But here’s a fun fact: they “teased” his return on the last page of one comics, and his design was so off from all previous versions that the fans did not know who he was supposed to be. Why? He was wearing a color Garth was never seen in, sporting a strange tattoo on the wrong side of his face (those lines aren’t a tattoo in pre-flashpoint btw…it’s a scar, that Atlan gave him) and because Garth had always, always, always been the child that Arthur adopted…the fact that he showed up as a fully formed adult with no connection to Arthur was so strange that even the Aquafans did not make the connection!!

This character, a mercenary who never spoke to Arthur, appeared a few more times before being quietly re-set in Rebirth.

Now, let’s recall that the comics removed all aspects of this character’s connection to the story, including the very fact that he was essentially Arthur’s adopted child. This is STILL TRUE in Rebirth. I cannot think of a time that Garth spoke directly to Arthur in any of the comics, but Mera said once that Arthur basically paid for Garth to go to Magic Underwater Wizard College, which is something that exists for some reason. Also he dropped out of Magic Underwater Wizard College because his girlfriend died, but we don’t know that woman’s name and he has literally never brought it up outside that single comics.

I want to say, I am not against changing backstories. Garth has had two and a half backstories since the 60s! But they grow and expand to fit the new world they live in. The writers took time and energy, they poured their hearts into making this new character appeal to their brave new world. But DC has not given Garth that same grace these past 15ish years. They had so, so many chances as well! They could have rewritten him in a way that was satisfying to his old fans. But they do not give a shit about Garth.

You see. DC wants to trick you. They want to say “everything is canon now” and not have to put in any effort. except my dears, the Aquaman comics are so complicated that they cannot exist at the same time. Because sure, maybe we can say Garth is no longer royal, because that kingdom his parents ruled no longer exists. But without that bloodline, why is he the most powerful Atlantean sorcerer? Did he never complete a highly emotional task of claiming his birthright, and accepting the death of Tula so he can heal his emotional wounds? Oh. Tula is alive? And now related to Orm? And they hardly know each other? Well, he just went to Magic College and he’s good for absolutely no reason at all. Is he still close with Arthur? I’m not sure. Arthur paid for college, but has never spoken to Garth. Garth is absent from all major life events in the Aquafamily. He has never met Arthur’s biological kid. He has no useful role inside a comic that he used to be an integral part of, his usual role has been split among others. So there goes his backstory. There go his emotional connections. Goodbye to the major emotional highs and lows as well. Goodbye to his personality traits, intentionally written to be played off of Arthur’s. Goodbye to any kind of role in the narrative; when you can replace his character with a nameless extra, is he really part of the story?

And when you remove all of that…what is there to like about this character, anyway?