#I SAID FUCKING SHORTFORM IT WAS NOT SHORTFORM

[the-heaminator]

Idk if you already been asked but girl give us your hcs on New Zealand. name, gender, relation with the other bitches

Ngl my New Zealand is mostly just stolen from @historia-vitae-magistras (I hope you dont mind me tagging you,) her stuff is GREAT.

But here it is in the shortform.

Name: Eleanor....ngl I dont actually have a last name for her??? I never realised that I put her as like 18-20 in the modern era

Height. Around 5'7-5'8, I want her to be tall, robust, and an inch taller than Arthur, better nutrition and all, shes...robust, no better way to put it, shes healthy, tall, and can and will yeet Jack, even as he is built like a brick shithouse. Only has to go on her tippytoes sometimes, mmmmm shes a very good hugger when she does hug, which is rare. Unless you're Jack, she hugs her idiot older brother a lot.

Relation with other bitches as you very concisely put it.

Jack is her sunshine demon of an older brother, she does have to reign him in sometimes, stop him from accidentally killing himself, he does the same for her on occasion, they ho drinking together. When pissed she gains a level of confidence that is frankly terrifying for someone as sharp as a whip as she is, they go surfing together. Zee loves birds, Jack is pretty much a reptile, man starts brumating when it gets too cold, she likes sitting in trees. Like a bird.

She bitches and whines a lot with him but like usually, not always, but usually in a good natured way and is not against physically knocking some common sense into him.

With Matthew it's like tender but also a little more distant than it used to be, he was basically the stand on parental figure for her while the kirllands were out doing fuck knows what, after she got her independence it is still very close and caring but not as much as it used to be.

She is also very blunt when she wants to be. Not something Matt is used to so she will go up and tell his lanky ass that he needs to eat, sleep, and lay off the fucking weed for a bit or he will end up in a ditch somewhere with a squirrel up his arse. Shes direct and a little scary. Matt usually listens to her because again she is not afraid to use blunt force trauma.

Her relationship with Alfred is odd, it is more a business type relationship, he was never really around for her upbringing so she doesnt see him as a brother or anything, more like a far removed cousin. But besides that they and matt absolutely love bitching about people together, like in a corner. It's kindif funny. jack does not join very often unless its winter, he's cold, and has to do official shit, then he gets awfully similar to Arthur and has soooooo much shit with everyone. Hes a little scary like that. Alfred kind of like, tries, to seem familliar bit it never actually works, so hes kind of given up, the business relationship is pretty good though.

Fuck this ask is getting long I need to shut up but I shan't

Anyways now the hard part is her relationship with the isles

She sees Arthur as a father figure, but like a distant one, hes warmed up a little in recent decades but still seems quite cold, even if unintentionally, hes just really really really repressed like that, but he is protective over her, he is protective over all of them but will personally raise hell if anyone touches a finger on his little girl even as she isnt all that little anymore, he tries but it isnt enough, but the sentiment is appreciated, he was strict with her, but not really in gender roles bc again Arthur is not really the type to be fussy about gender, bug he made sure she was s art, if not physically stronger she will be smarter, and she is, and is also strong so a win win for her.

Hes the softest with her when sober, like a little bit of him melts because shes the youngest, she's a girl, and he's kind if getting old now, but is happy to just sit in silence with her. With say Alfred they always have ti be talking or moving or something, Alfred got it from Arthur and it just kind of echoes back. With Matthew he has gotten more lax but still is professional with him, unless either or both are more rats assed then a scouser after a football match, with Jack he is nearly as soft as he is with her, just a little bit more restrained.

She finds it a little odd but not unwelcome that he is calmer with them, but sometimes his near inability to process feeling or feel sympathy or empathy absolutely drives her around the fucking bend. She gets angry at him a lot, for good reason too, historical and personal both. I wont get into them bc I'm nit that well versed in their history.

With alisdair it's very much an uncle situation, same with rhys, and a closer aunt with Brighid, unlike Matt who had Alisdair as basically a stand in parent while Arthur was drunk, or busy, or Jack who has called brighid mum before, they all feel somehwat distant, she likes Brighid but does find her a little intense, most people do but she isn't complaining too much, she has the widest emotional bandwidth of any of the isles and is also the best at comforting by far, Zee likes to feel physically grounded and none of the Kirklands can do hugs without being very awkward about it, closest is the slightly tipsy hugs that Alisdair gives when he sees her looking down.

I dont actually have much developed for rhys or alisdair. I'm sorry :,) and I probably do have other thoughts I just cannot be asked to type it out rn so I hope this is satisfactory

[tasmanianstripes]

So true!!

I'm dyslexic and struggle with reading and reading comprehension at times. Sometimes, I have days where I have to use a screen reader because my brain just refuses to understand words, which makes reading longer paragraphs challenging when I have to reread every other sentence multiple times to correctly decode the words. So, by all means, I understand struggling with reading long comments and it's not at all shameful to admit that.

But honestly, struggling with that is not an excuse to be rude either. Replying to somebody's comment with "yapping" or calling them a yapper is just plain rude, it's framing your own struggle as somebody else's fault. And in discussions, it's just a show of disrespect and honestly just immediately tells me they don't want to have a mature conversation about a topic and just want to swap insults like kids.

Nowadays, it feels like people think that arguments/discussions should be short, and somehow, if you write a longer response, it's a sign that you're upset and "losing" the argument. It's bizarre and immature.

I hate what TikTok and online vocabulary did to just normal online interactions

If you want to have a discussion or share an opinion that is longer than 3 short sentences, there's a 99% chance some gremlin with an attention spawn of a goldfish will say something about yapping or cope

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Have you guys noticed that trend in shortform content lately where people will say something in the video and then put something else in the subtitles for comedic effect? Yeah?

Fuck that.

I have an audio processing disorder and I need subtitles for accessibility reasons, so do hard of hearing and deaf people and anyone else who needs them.

They’re supposed to be an accurate representation of what’s being said in the video.

Say it with me folks.

Disabled people deserve the same experience of content as everyone else.

[puppet-purgatory]

thank you for being the most sane person in all this. the random vitriolic hatred for watcher makes me uncomfortable with the community. calling a company ‘greedy’ is insane. we live in capitalism. we need money for things. and i don’t think they were selling ads very well. they’re trying to be dropout and time will tell if it works (i think in a year people will either have forgotten or be enjoying YouTube shorts they post like dropout). thank you for keeping up the puppet content too. ❤️

yeah this is a move that's going to hurt them on a couple fronts, even if they walk a lot of it back, but like... some of the shit i've seen being said like "go back to your basement" and "we only ever wanted GHOST FILES!!! nobody wants the food/travel/gaming" is not only fucking Rude but it's straight up just............ A Lie. and That's what upsets me.

Whether the fandom is all teenagers or not, they're definitely acting like it. it seems like nobody Actually wanted them to do what they were passionate about in the first place. Suddenly food/travel videos are "wasteful" and "unnecessary"; well, if you've been paying attention, Steven Lim has been studying/practicing the culinary arts for years. that's what he's passionate about. it's what he wants to make and share with us. the fact people are So Ready to write off 1/3rd of the founding members' content is very telling.

ive never been super into shane and ryan Themselves, but they've been doing what they love and sharing it with all of us for Free up until now. I respect them as creators. I can afford to pay them a few dollars a month, so I will. I've already told friends I'm willing to share my acct with them, because they also understand it's hard to be any kind of creator in this climate, especially one that doesn't make the stuff the Algorithm is programmed to prioritize.

In a year, I hope youtube shorts is Gone, actually- that's how much i hate the shortform content mill. thanks for the nice message. i have a couple professor wips i should probably work smore on

[oblivions-dawn]

For the firsts ask: 9, 15, P, ✒️ ?

Hello Vivi!! Thank you for stopping byyyy <3

✑ First time living away from home

I'll answer for my Arch-Mage Octeagan! I believe he left Cyrodiil on . . . not the greatest terms. I suspect he killed his father, which drove his mother mad, and so he left his mother and sister behind to pursue his magical talent. Despite his intelligence, it was difficult for him--not because leaving behind his family was hard, but because Skyrim is just so damn harsh and cold. He managed it well enough though, as he eventually gets to the college and. Does fucked up shit from there what can I say LJSFLGJDFLGK

✑ First thing they remember feeling proud of

Wynn was very proud when she successfully stole something the first time. Probably some pretty jewellery off of a rich Altmer at a party. Not the best thing to be proud of, but hey, it was better than the bitter disappointment from her parents! So, naturally, it became habit, and then . . . well. She ends up in the Thieves Guild at some time or another and thrives in it

✑ First time seeing the other all dressed up

I am actually so sad that Vigdis and Serana don't get to do the Thalmor Embassy quest. I think I wanted to write a one-shot about it, but never did, and ultimately it isn't canon. For them, anyway. Now . . . I have had this thought. Wynnarwe, my Altmer Thieves Guild/Nightingale idiot, has four other siblings. Her youngest sister, Rulve, ends up sometimes being possessed by their Dwemer ancestor, which is . . . fun! And Rulve ends up joining the Thalmor and getting mixed up with Elenwen's kids. So, what I'm saying is, I keep thinking about Rulve showing up to this party in all her short beauteousness and the daughter of Elenwen being very flustered about it. Alas that is a project maybe for me to tackle some day dkfghdlhgdfhg

✑ First shortform/oneshot you've written

OH BOY. Uhh. I know I've said it before, but my fic was originally a series of one-shots! As for what was first, I'm . . . not sure! It was probably something original. Maybe the one about the murder lesbian? . . . . It might've been that. I wrote one-shots for a long time for a few different fandoms after my Creepypasta stuff because I felt I didn't have the time or energy or skill to do a complete work again--clearly, I was wrong, and am glad for that.

[rollercoasterwords]

I’m so here for all this book hate, and I’m just laying in bed kicking my feet besides you listening to all these people rant. And I so agree with the ‘this book is gay’ thing. Like ESPECIALLY now during pride month everyone is like read these 5 queer books and the only thing it says is oh this mc is bi, oh it has a trans character, oh the main ship is sapphic. I’m like okay, cool, what more? Is that it?

I had this with ‘the priory of the orange tree’ which I loved, but the only thing I was told is ‘there’s a sapphic ship’ and ‘it’s high fantasy’ which yeah it is to both. But that’s not even what the book is about and you could’ve just told me what it was about and told these other things. just imagine if they would do that with other big fantasy books ‘yeah it’s fantasy and straight, enjoy’

Same thing with they both die at the end. Fun book, not revolutionary, I agree what the person said, the mcs are the most boring in the book. But it’s gay so it’s amazing… sure

lol yeah i love a good hater sesh <3 and YEAH like. i understand people compiling lists of books w certain types of representation etc bc obviously there are lots of people who want to seek out books that reflect certain experiences etc, but. if the rec begins and ends with just 'it's [x type of queer] and [x genre]!" then i'm like....ok. anything else or....

and i do think it happens particularly often with queer books but also i don't think it's entirely devoid from straight books either lol it's just that instead of going "it's straight and fantasy!" they'll go "dark love interest and fantasy" or some equally surface level label lol. same with the lists that are like "dark academia books" etc i think...i mean i don't necessarily know that this is a new phenomenon but maybe it's just become more visible/common 2 me bc of the shifting landscape of social media that prioritizes shortform algorithmic content but it feels like this widespread practice of packaging books as aesthetic products more than like. literature. if that makes sense...idk still parsing through my thoughts on this but. yeah just feels like a very surface level way to engage w books--and the thing is it seems like it's a growing way that writers/publishers are marketing their books as well. like i don't really fault the authors for this bc ik in this day and age they have to do a ton of legwork to market their own shit to get it like picked up by publishers or whatever and so they kinda have to play the game (<- try desperately to go viral on tiktok) but every time i see a video that's like a writer going "would you read THIS??" and then it's like. a list of their protagonist's identities and then just a general/vague nod to some subgenre that sounds like a pinterest board title i throw up in my mouth a little ngl. and it's not like i think literature is some sort of Higher Art Form that must always be Venerated it's more that consumerism feels so fucking inescapable and every art form has to be boiled down into something that will go viral on tiktok these days and it makes me want 2 scream!!

anyway this turned into a little rant of my own lol but. agree w u ty 4 partaking in this hater experience w me <3

[drifloonz]

Hihihihi, If you’re okay with me requesting something, can you maybe write Steven and/or Mike (separate if you write them both plz :DD) with a Reader that somehow managed to become a Champion with only like.. A Blastoise and a Charizard on their team where they got from god knows where? If it’s possible, can it be written after Miki’s death yet before Mike’s death? For some reason I find it funny to imagine a random trainer with only two starters on their team absolutely wrecking everybodys shit,,

can do! i was originally gunna assume u meant write as in like write an actual short story but then i realized u said to make them separate so. HOPEFULLY you did mean a sort of bulleted headcanon shortform post more than an Actual Piece of writing. which honestly if so good im not that good at writing short stories quickly or efficiently. hopefully these r good bc i didnt know much of what to write.

these are platonic which i hope is okay. anyways, this feels lackluster but i hope it suffices </3

anyways, steven and mike with a champion who only has blastoise/charizard!

READER

( this is just stuff and headcanons for the reader that add additional context or backstory bc i wanted to also think abt them as a character a bit, but whether you accept these or not is up 2 u lol )

• you probably got both a charmander and a squirtle from professor oak because somehow he gained more starter pokemon this year than he needed, and they were too rowdy to handle. therefore, you got two, since somebody already took the bulbasaur of the new batch of starter mons. who? idfk. maybe your rival if you have one.

• your two starters are at odds at eachother a lot, but in the end they do get along, they just tend to bicker. sort of like siblings ( lol ). playfully competitive with eachother.

• both of your starters are fucking powerhouses and nobody knows why - they probably evolved early and are naturally stronger than other starters - either that or you're just a particularly skilled trainer. this isn't undocumented, after all there did used to be a charizard who was a powerhouse. But you know. Used To.

• if you're the champion of kanto, which i'd assume that's the case, you either fought mike, lance ( bc tbh mike after the incident would've probably also willingly refused to become champion again after steven retired from the role after the incident ), or someone entirely unrelated ( like your rival if you have one ). your choice tbh.

• this is something i just considered After finishing this but if you also grew up in pallet town you probably actually knew steven and mike and were even friends with them which isnt written in any of these but thats a spin on it you can think abt if you want to. imagine if you were and you named your respective starters after both of them that'd be so awkward

STEVEN

🔥 dude this mans depressed as hell rn and i think when he hears or sees you with the starter he chose and with the starter his brother who he couldn't stand to think about right now chose... he just goes "The audacity of this bitch." in his head.

🔥 ok not really he's not that rude but it does remind him of himself and mike... both in positive and negative ways. you remind him of himself before the incident, which makes him sort of long for that kind of thing back. but hey, if you become the champion, it means the league would probably get off his back and hopefully forget about him. which is good. ( if you're even the champion of kanto. )

🔥 he didn't really know anyone else who had a charizard other than him, so seeing your own charizard made him remember miki. which of course, made him even more sad at the thought. he's really just processing several things and your presence complicates it for him a little... has complex feelings about you despite not really talking to you. if you did happen to be the champion of kanto, you'd've fought mike or someone entirely different, not steven, since he released all of his pokemon - and even if he didn't, he would never want to stay the champion without miki... so he didn't really know you, probably - but you may've seen him during one of his regular Depression Roams around the region, or even bumped into him, since he didn't really have any spacial awareness when he takes aimless walks around kanto like that. he'd just mumble an apology and move on, probably. if you were one of those trainers who often had your pokemon follow you, he'd probably just wordlessly stare at both of your starters, especially your charizard, and then excuse himself and walk off a little faster.

🔥 he finds you beating the elite four and the gym challenge with only two pokemon impressive but he also essentially did the same thing*. he still finds it impressive its just... you did things similarly to him. you reminded him of too many aspects of his life and it felt weird.

*its technically implied that steven had more than miki on his team in the pokepasta but i like to think it was mostly for hms, possibly pokedex stuff, and progression, so he basically solo'd kanto w miki

🔥 although if you become good friends with steven, somehow, he will become very friendly with you and your two pokemon. obviously, your charizard would never replace miki... but having one to pet and play with did help out with his depression a little bit. he thinks miki would've liked your pokemon if she were still here. the two's sort of playful rivalry between eachother also reminded him of himself and mike, and furthermore miki and... whatever the hell mike named his blastoise.

🔥 honestly you being there if you did befriend steven did... surprisingly help him a lot? it didn't make everything suddenly better, but having a real alive charizard, even if it did sort of remind him of miki, made him smile a little. he appreciates your presence and sometimes invites you to just take a stroll around with him. he didn't have any pokemon and all pokemon oddly avoided him, but with you around they seemed to no longer do that... maybe they realized he seemed to feel better? sometimes he just idly plays with the wild pokemon when he's around you and bored. he possibly even catches one as Emotional Support. i like to think it's an eevee bc its technically a starter and im biased.

🔥 if he were in a better mental state he'd probably brag about how miki could take both of your pokemon on despite having a pretty clear disadvantage. he'd probably be right tbh miki was built different, but it'd be a close battle were it to ever happen. he wishes he met you earlier.

🔥 assuming you did befriend him, fun fact you probably helped him enough for him to not eventually go find a missingno at the dead of night and also snap mikes neck. this is a win. he's still pretty closed off, depressed, and awkward, but he's at least trying to get better now.

🔥 if for some reason you wanted him to he'd essentially babysit your pokemon for you. i don't know why they'd have to be babysat, they're grown starter pokemon and they're possibly the only ones you even have ( which would be dangerous to go without ), but hey the offers open ( he just wants an excuse to play w them to get things off of his mind tbh. )

🔥 randomly gifts you lemonade and coffee, which he has a startling abundance of. it's an excuse for him to throw away all the gifts people give him because he does not want that shit ( ... mostly. he keeps a bit of the coffee ).

🔥 if you're around steven, you'll be around mike at least a couple of times. steven intentionally avoids mike nowadays, but you'll probably cross paths, especially if steven invites you to his house.. mike appreciates that you hang around his little brother a lot, and will sometimes talk to you, but will immediately try to leave the conversation when he hears or sees steven. so . Woops. steven probably also shittalks mike to you sometimes if you ever bring him up but he'll probably never explicitly mention The Incident, just imply it ( eg saying things like "...Don't keep your Charizard around him." or something ). he doesn't want to talk or think about mike, especially not around you.

🔥 he takes fucking terrible care of himself. he probably has spent a week / multiple days in the pokemon tower in front of miki's grave and he barely sleeps or eats. i think your blastoise and charizard would also notice this and like push him to a bed or try to nudge him berries or something. please make him eat he rlly needs it.

🔥 overall he thinks your interesting, but you remind him of a lot of his life before the incident... which makes him nostalgic and sometimes a little sad. but he grows used to it.

🔥 the steven section of this is literally just him going "Man. This reminds me of Miki and Mike and that makes me feel shitty." and im sorry abt that bc i didnt know what else to add (*&^% steven's not in his best state rn so its harder to write him having any sort of reaction that isnt like that </3. i tried to make it a little more lighthearted at the end but ya

MIKE

💧 mike on the other hand is slightly less depressed ( slightly ) but he still got pretty scarred from the incident. he still tries to be his same energetic self but that is clearly a lot more faltered than it used to be. he usually stays home a lot more often, while steven goes out a lot more often to roam the region and pay his respects.

💧 he thinks you having both a blastoise and a charizard is dope! Unfortunately, it also reminds him of miki because god knows seeing that charizard die right in front of him due to his persistence did negative things to his psyche. i think he's even more dodgy and awkward around your charizard than steven is since steven absolutely blames mike for that whole thing and he knows that and also sorta blames himself. he's afraid he'll hurt yours as well.

💧 HOWEVER. with the blastoise. he'll be like "SAME STARTER???" and hi-five you and he'll let you twos blastoises play w eachother. they get along suuuper well which hes happy about.

💧 he also thinks you being the champion is funny in a sort of morbid way since you straight up just have both him and steven's starters, so the pokemon league effectively had a replacement for both of them. obviously steven and mike had more pokemon than those two, but those were their aces. which, he guesses worked out. he didn't intend to become champion again because he really wasn't in the right mindset for it anymore, so that's fine w/ him.

💧 since he did not release all of his pokemon like a certain someone ( sorry steven bullying you is funny ) nor had one of them die he can fight against you and happily will. mostly to take his mind off of things

💧 he's also been taking horrible care of himself similar to steven, just in a bit of a different way - sleeping in too much and not eating that much. he feels guilty if you help him out with this but its appreciated if you do. just your presence helps, though.

💧 steven is sometimes hanging around, usually against his own will - he'll catch you two doing something together, and he'll also probably see your charizard sometimes. it sort of pisses him off that mike can just Go on with his life and be happy ( mike isnt entirely happy, he's just doing better ) after he "murdered" miki. aaaand that makes the whole atmosphere tense and reverts mike to being a little dodgy and nervous again. the only thing the younger brother has ever said to you is something along the lines of keeping your charizard away from mike. Sibling drama moment ig.

💧 due to this steven's kind of a dick to both of you if you chose to hang around mike. thankfully, steven's usually out nowadays to pay respects to miki's grave and roam the region aimlessly, and he isn't often even in his and mike's shared home anymore. if you try to hang out w them both equally it would make everything so awkward and tense between the two and they'd eventually fight over your friendship, probably - the person starting that being steven, since mike's content with him also being your friend even if it's awkward.

💧 loves to tell you the tales of his adventures. he loves recounting his happy memories and events of his adventures, the pokemon he caught, and battling steven - even if steven sort of hates him nowadays. he'll encourage you to swap stories and tales from both of you twos adventures since he's very interested in how you yourself handled the gym challenges.

💧 unfortunately choosing the Mike Path ( trademark ) will probably make steven eventually kill him still especially if in this hypothetical you don't really talk to or care abt steven much, so take that how you will. that's angst material that im not writing bc this post and all posts i make are already too long.

💧 there is also a chance that you hanging around mike ( especially if u also hang arnd steven ) might make steven just straight up not do that due to the fact you'll probably be around, or in the best option possible he sort of reconciles with mike a little and slowly gets less and less vengeful about it because of you being friends with the both of them. having a third party who didn't just pity the two and offer them apologies and items was helpful, after all. he'll still be very awkward and mostly negative with mike though, just not As much.

💧 overall mike is very happy to find someone to talk to since steven sort of... stopped being social with him or anyone. he finds your methods interesting

i feel like these were sorta lackluster bc its hard to tie in this prompt when both of the brothers are in Depressive Episodes but i hope my attempts were good ! ( also god i really have to condense my writing but i almost physically cant ) anyways ty for requesting - wispy

[cadriona]

for the Fanfiction Work-In-Progress Guessing Game:

the infamous italicized "oh."

aoieghoaieg probably not exactly what you expected, but from the unfinished chap 3 of the superhero/vigilante au (help i need to give it an actual shortform name)

The hero shrugged, and the rooftop surged— rigid cement reaching up to grasp at Leviathan’s ankles. The vigilante danced out of the way in a few nimble steps, and leapt further when more of the ground seemed to tremble.

“As it is, you’re making my job rather easy,” said Tianquan, the literal mobile turret.

Oh, it’s fucking on.

[gwynbleiddyn]

4, 58 and 69 (nice) for Mio

HRMMMMHMMM LETS SEE

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

this is an interesting one because the man is proficient in arcana and has extensively studied magic at some point in his life in order to obtain said proficiency, but he uses it purely based on Vibes and that's very sexy of him, and he doesn't really know spells as a result - not like people like Sav or Cai or Laz would.

the wording of this question is a little weird to me so i'm just going to name a spell that isnt at all accessible to mio based on class and the fact he won't ever get an 8th level spell: Sunburst... because that would fuck severely with the aesthetic and it targets what he hates most with what he adores most. poetic justice and so on and so forth

58. what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality?

i don't think he sees himself as a very integral part of the group at all. he's just kind of there. he has his connections to each of them and he does care in his own weird way about them, but he could leave and he wouldn't worry about them. it wouldn't feel great and he'd miss them, for sure, but he wouldn't be at all concerned that they wouldn't be able to cope with a fight or whatever comes next in his absence.

in terms of the reality... i'm unsure, honestly. utility wise, he can do a lot that we haven't really touched on in game. he has useful features for espionage and subterfuge, which isn't something we really run into or at least it's not a method Talisman like to use. he can deal damage, he can crowd control, he can tank well enough, and he buffs the party. he can do A Lot, but none of that is done in a way where he is the go-to for any of those things.

part of it stems from me not knowing what the fuck to do with a dnd character when i made him and gave him a ridiculously useless stat spread that we had to patch up with feats as he levelled up so he's not Optimised like some other PCs, and part of it kind of came along when i played him and developed him and kind of understood that the narrative reason that he's a jack of all trades is because that's how he has to be if he wants to be a halfway decent king.

69. how would they describe their party members?

this is asking for trouble but the point here is you ASKED. i won't do wordy descriptions bc i dont have the braincells for that right now but shortform summaries are king, focusing a lot on how mio perceives everyone rather than Descriptions alone. let's go a-z

Alar: genuine bestie, a confidant, the perseverant edge to his own temperamental spirit. meryset, beloved of setekh but also beloved of ra. someone who understands the demands of divinity, and doesn't dismiss them. one of few people who could ask to walk into the hells and mio would follow. there's nothing more i can add.

Cai: a troublesome magpie, but a genuine friend. he brings laughter when it feels lost. that's an ability that can't be overstated, even if mio sometimes feels like he's gained another younger sibling to meticulously dance around at times.

Diric: strong and steady is a good descriptor. even in his worst moments he seems to have his head above water. in the same vein i think mio would describe him as frustrating, because he doesn't just lose his shit and bite back and scream and shout and throw a tantrum, and mio kind of wants to see it, to feel better. otherwise, though not as much at the forefront of the party since his return, mio still sees him as something of a compass to the group. and having shared some brief part of his life with diric, mio knows that in his heart he will always have a fondness for him, though it will take many different shapes and forms in the potential millennia he will live.

Laszlo: it is a strange echo with laz, there is a familiarity there in their station and perhaps some of the early experiences they had growing up but knowing that laz chose his new family and mio still holds onto his old one is perhaps a very telling schism between the two. mio respects him deeply, in the way he respected his tutors from the many colleges of Akhenaton - they held power in what they knew, and that could be dangerous, unchecked.

Savita: it's hard to know where to start. savita brings out the worst in mio, the pettiness, the self-importance, the indignance. but she also has good advice and is undeniably smart about the world, though maybe not wise. he struggles with her. he doesn't really know if they will reconcile that, ever, and while i don't think he's interested in bridging the gap, he's forced to accept the perspective she brings to the table. his feelings towards her are summed up by begrudging acceptance with a sprinkling of "you've shot me in the head and also saved my ass in equal measure and my gratitude and my pettiness cancel each other out into vague ambivalence"

Zinnan: like the feywild weaves and bends to whimsy and fleeting thought, mio's perception of zinnan traverses very unsteady ground. they're fascinating to talk to and they make appealing offers, but they're so untrustworthy. they're purposeful in action, but so aimless in themselves. you look at them one way and they appear in another. mio always enjoys his conversations with them, but he's always left feeling like he lost something in the process. he can't get a bead on them, but his one comfort is that you can always trust the untrustworthy to be just that.

[that-artistic-cryptid]

I think the chaotic energy is because of, just like someone else said, the fact that vine is about showing while tiktok is about telling, whishc doesnt work as well for a shortform video content app. The same message on Tumblr and on tiktok will not have the same chaos because on Tumblr text is the primary form of posts, thus just hearing someone regurgitate that on tiktok feels forced and performative. While vine just had videos of fucking cars taking off in someone's backyard or whatever

Man I love vine and I’m gonna miss it! I’m totally jumping on the bandwagon but hey why not? Here is some of my favs!

[nowherebuthome]

*

[bondsmagii]

so a while back I was talking about extensive blacklists and somebody messaged to see if I wanted screenshots of a very impressive blacklist from an old Discord server they were in. of course, I did. here are the aforementioned screenshots as promised -- naturally the person wishes to remain anonymous, but here’s what they said:

hello, t'was i who was your Long Blacklist anon. here's what i have, or at least what i have scraped from the sides of my massive screenshots folder

to note: in the first image, in the section "TSS specific", the Remus mentioned is one of the characters in the show that the server is about,  whether he's secondary or main is up for debate. like. a WHOLE CHARACTER

some of these are understandable honestly, i don't mind a lot of this, but i had forgotten "y'all" was on here and. i'm sure that was probably said about 500 times in there because. how do you. IT'S Y'ALL

I gotta admit that I was not expecting this to be so wild. I had no idea an entire regional accent would be on here; nor could I have anticipated the fact that the whole of Ohio State University would be a banned topic, but there you go.

full transcription under the cut, for which you owe me, because this is long.

USER SPECIFIC

Recording <@!412026064970186753>’s voice without permission

Pet names directed at @‘beat drop’ A Jumbo Jellyfish

Referring to @rrationality in the feminine, “kiddo” directed at by anyone but Patton

“Tinker bell” or the phrase “I just want you to succeed” directed at @Groundhog badger

Deleting messages from @JEYKSHK without informing first

“Kitten” directed at @jelly 

“Know-it-all” directed at @The Rat God Summons Thee, asking to roleplay, people fighting in earshot, interacting while under the influence of any substances

Patronising and/or directing “cute” nicknames (smol, baby, dear, etc.) at @arson, overly aggressive conpliments (heart spamming, etc.)

“Princess”/“Champ”/“Sweetheart”/“Buddy” directed at @Silverquill (She/Her)

“Sweetie”/“honey”/“babe” and other pet names directed at @let airam see fuck without permission

“Hun”/“love” directed at @Ren 

“you’re acting like ___” and “very nice” directed at @probably activism, venting privately without warning/asking

“Dumb”/“stupid”/“idiot”, etc. directed at @blurryeyesinbewilderment 

“Selfish”/“worthless” directed at @Safira 

Calling attention to/making fun of the typos of @one of the best ppl here tbh

Referring to @It ya boy idk in the feminine, mocking

Referring to @I’m gonna shine like the sun as a hypochondriac

Referring to @Currently Committing Tax Fraud as argumentative

TSS SPECIFIC [translator’s note: this is an abbreviation for The S*nders Sides-- the fandom the server is about. I censor this because I do not care for him and do not wish to type his accursed name.]

Any discussion (including mentions), images, gifs and links involving Remus, and ships where he is included

The phrase “have you ever thought about killing your brother?” [translator’s note: this entire phrase was blacked out behind censor bars.]

Unsympathetic portrayals of the Sides (being villainous, abusive, (passive) aggressive, restrictive, etc.)

Ships involving the Sides and Sleep

Romantic Prinxiety

Intruality

Romantic logicality 

Snitties (tumblr post)

CenThomas (tumblr post)

TOPICS

Tangerines

Depersonalisation and depersonification

Divorce

Being controlled/your actions not being your own (including mind control)

Bullying (in a non-joking context)

Burning buildings and house fires

Belittling serious issues

Zombies

Existential issues (such as questioning reality)

Claustrophobic (small) spaces

Being patronised

Puppets

Bad parental relationships

Narcissistic people

Ohio State University

Annesia/mind-wiping

Bernie Sanders (US Politician)

Hell (discussion of)

Anesthesia

Fasting (for religious reasons or otherwise)

Unhappy endings

Power outages

Directing “stupid” at another person

Southern or Texan accents

Cringe culture

Spiders

Heights

The concept of pure nothingness

POC being stereotypes as promiscuous

Conflating age regression with age play [translator’s note: ‘age play’ was blacked out behind censor bars.]

Condiments (ketchup, mustard, etc.)

Malevolent of morbid supernatural entities

Food dicourse

Roanoke (the historical colony)

Self-depreciation

Heated discussions

Major character death

Hanahaki disease

Ants (the insect)

Eye lip eye (sequence of emojis)

Realistic-looking teeth on non-human things

Teeth in any place but a mouth

Human trafficking

Worms

OTHER MEDIA

The son “Sing me to sleep” by Alan Walker

Creepypasta (all forms)

The song “Hide and seek” by SeeU

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared (webseries)

The song “Last christmas” by Wham!

Heathers (movie and musical)

The song “Empty” by boyinaband

The song “You should see me in a Crown” by Billie Eilish

The Momo challenge

Stephen King’s It (book and movies)

The song “Bury a friend” by Billie Eilish

Undertale and Delta Rune (video games)

The song “Wish you were gay” by Billie Eilish

The song “Ocean eyes” by Billie Eilish

Sora from Kingdom Hearts (video games)

Scooby Doo on Zombie Island (movie)

Onward (movie)

WORDS/NAMES/PHRASES

The word “senpai”

The name “Cryptid”

“I see the light”/“I’m going into the light”/“Light at the end of the tunnel”

“A beautiful mind”

“Babe” in a romantic context

“Baby” and “sweetiepie” as pet names

The name “Tristan”

The name “Ana”

The name “Jamie”

The name “William/Will”

“Make yourself useful”

“Y’all”

“Agere” (as a shortform of age regression)

SOUNDS AND VISUALS

Fife music (fife and drum corps)

Loud noises

Spiders and insects

Trypophobic images

“Distant shore” and “It’s all over isn’t it” from Steven Universe

Homestuck (all forms)

Crying while laughing

High saturation/bright images/eyes strain

[icarus-suraki]

unusual asks: 4, 14, 37, 79

4. do you like your name? why? Ah ha ha ha, so I'm not going to tell my real name, but I'll say that my first, middle, and (probably obviously) last name are all family names. My first name isn't so bad, except that my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and a number of other relatives all have the same first name. It's really a family name on my mother's side. It's not a bad name, but it doesn't feel like my name because I've been called by my middle name all my life. With so many people with the same first name, it makes sense, right?

My middle name is...different. I mean, I'm a woman (though I'm a bit sloshy on that sometimes) but my middle name is a really old, slightly ugly-sounding name that's usually given to boys. It's a family name, formerly a surname--and since my family is undeniably Southern, we follow the good tradition of giving daughters family surnames that were "lost" in marriages. And that's how I, a girl, ended up going by a name that's basically on par with Cuthbert or Aethelrad or Gruffudd. It did not make my school-years easy, no.

And my last name is a strange spelling of a Dutch name--if it were English, it might be something like the surname "James" being spelled like "Jaymesse." We aren't quite sure how it came to us since we can only trace it back to one person. We know when and who he married, but we have no information about him before or after that. We know he was out of the picture when his wife was pregnant (whether he died or ran off or was kidnapped or something we don't know). His wife, at a loss as for what to do, went to her sister's house and lived with her sister and her sister's husband for a while. And then she named the baby after her sister's husband??? But with her own (now our) last name???? She was an interesting woman. But we just don't know much about the man who gave us our last name. There's some family conjecture that he might have been an Eastern European Jew and, when that came out, that was totally unacceptable to his wife and her family. So either she left him or he left her. Either way, we've still got the name. And now, whenever one of us with the name goes to Europe, we like to confuse the locals. (I think I got more of the British Isles genes, but my brother definitely got the Dutch genes because he looks like a damn Tour de France cyclist.)

Do I like my name? It's not the easiest to live with, but it's got a colorful past. So I don't always like it, but it's interesting, to say the least.

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? This is so hard to answer because it changes based on my mood and the season. Sometimes I'm like "I want to live somewhere tropical and warm in a house that almost doesn't need windows with long sheer curtains where I can be a hippie doing yoga and eating smoothie bowls up in the trees." And other times I'm like "Wouldn't it be interesting to live in Japan? Maybe Tokyo, but more like Kyoto and out in the suburbs. Or maybe out in the country, like a real Studio Ghibli place." France crosses my mind too, sometimes Paris, sometimes Provence, sometimes Normandy...

But I think, and this is probably pretty predictable, that the most aesthetically-comfortable place, to me, would probably be the Lake District in the UK.

Is the UK all that great in ever sense? No, for many reasons (Brexit is only one of them). But in terms of weather, wildlife, scenery, familiarity from children's picture books, I think it's got to be the Lake District (and environs).

It was one of the last places we visited when I did a summer abroad. We'd done London (exciting but such a city), we'd done Scotland (rather craggy and gray), we'd done Bath (I was sick as a dog so I can't make much of a judgement and would like to go back), we'd done Oxford (and I thought I was a snob, fuck me), we'd done Yorkshire (suddenly the grimness of the Bronte sisters makes sense)... And then we took this long bus ride northwards and up into the Lake District and it was such a...relief in a funny sense of the word. Trees! Fields! Foxgloves! Stiles over fences! Walking paths! Lovely cottages!

If I was appallingly rich, I'd find an old cottage to move into and live there and grow a cottage garden and probably have a Patterdale terrier named Toby or Tommy and take lots of walks.

The Cotswolds were a close second, as I recall, but not quite as much of a spiritual(?) relief.

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? The greatest irony of being a librarian is that everyone thinks you read all the time but you often don't have enough time to read at all.

Some librarians manage to pull it off, but I don't. I've gotten picky about books as I've gotten older. I had to lead some book discussions at my libraries, so I've had to read some very boring books (in some cases the book was boring but I did understand why books like it would appeal to some people). And I just don't have the mental capacity to suffer through boring books if I don't have to. So, no, I don't read all that much--

--in terms of books, at least. I've found that I'll read zillions of articles: longform, shortform, magazine, newspaper, online... I've got a few websites for sources and I'll just kind of look around and then suddenly say, "Wait, what?" and find myself reading, say, a GQ article about two Mormon brothers accused of murdering their parents and the whole backstory of the situation. If you drop a longform article about Weird Shit in front of me, yeah, I'll probably read it.

Which actually makes me wonder if I might want to read more nonfiction at the moment. Hmmm........

But favorite book? Favorite favorite book? Fuck, I'm such a sucker for Ulysses. I know, everyone's like "it's dirty!" or "it's too hard to understand!" And that's cool. But for me, it reads rather like poetry to me, dirty bits and all. And I love it and it has saved my life a few times. James Joyce got me through my 20s, okay?

I had hoped to go to Ireland, and Dublin specifically, in the summer or fall of 2020. Obviously that didn't happen, lmao. But part of my idea was to research tattoo shops before I went and to get a line from the "Ithaca" chapter tattooed on me somewhere. The line is:

"The heaventree of stars hung with humid nightblue fruit"

It's got to be one of my favorite lines in all of literature. T. S. Eliot has a couple of lines that are close seconds (it's almost time to read Ash Wednesday again and, hnnnngh, it's so good), but between the Eliot lines and the Joyce lines? Yeah, I'm going with the heaventree of stars.

I am a terrible person with a dirty mind. What can you do?

79. do you believe in ghosts? Most of the time I'm like: "Nah, I don't really believe in ghosts. It’d be kind of cool if they were real, right? But, nah, l don’t."

And then I'll watch some really good “real” ghost videos and it'll be about 11:30 at night and I'm immediately "I have changed my stance re: ghosts and I will be sleeping with the light on. Goodnight."

But generally speaking? As someone who has spent the night in a couple of supposedly haunted places? I guess I'm more in the "I want to believe" category. It'd be cool, wouldn't it? But I don't think it'll happen.

Now that said, I do still wonder about the Gray Man With The Hat that my mother and I have both seen on different occasions. It has to be something about how human brains understand certain things in certain situations (esp. related to light/shadow). We both wonder if it might be kind of like a "collective unconscious" situation, where something unfamiliar is interpreted as something familiar and then the brain puts that familiar "icon" (which is Pete Lorre in M, evidently?) over whatever the image the brain can't compute.

It's not directly related to ghosts in the typical sense, but I do have strong feelings about certain Jungian concepts (I have an aunt who's got some major Jungian background)--sometimes in a mystical way, sometimes in a more rational way. So I guess that's why I feel like I, personally, don't believe in ghosts as ghosts are generally viewed today. But I also think that people who say they've encountered ghosts shouldn't be dismissed immediately as wrong--they experienced something, I absolutely believe that, and it’s not fair or kind to dismiss them out of hand.

[shizuyue]

I can't believe this is something I'm posting on Tumblr, but in the spirit of education, the Hokkien term 'lan jiao/懒叫' (penis) and its shortform 'lj' is also used to swear.

And 'kan ni na beh' is more 'fuck your father' because in Hokkien' beh' is father while 'bu' is mother.

Interesting thing when learning Japanese, paper hotpot or crab hotpot is pronounced 'kani nabe'. It's always hilarious to hear it.

'chee bai'/'cb' (vagina) is very very widely used on it own, can be spelled as 'jibai'.

Also to add on to 'knnbccb', a very young me was taught it can be said or written with 看你妈妈抄车牌 or some variation. I rarely see this though.

There is also the popular Cantonese swear which I picked up in Malaysia, which is 'diu nei lou mou' (fuck your old mom), and 'diu' (fuck).

A quick Google brought me to this treasure of a page.

Also, an important addon for Mandarin, 'cao ni ma'/操你妈 swear has a mascot in 'cao ni ma'/草泥马 which literally translates to 'grass mud horse' but is actually Alpaca/羊驼.

Being a Singaporean with Malaysian relatives, and playing MapleStory in SEA server, basically means I know how to swear in two Chinese dialects and Mandarin.

Now you can too.

expanding on your ask, actually i realise singapore's chinese swear words are quite similar to mainland china and taiwan, although probably nobody really uses 干 but cao (in all forms of the word) is used quite often. we also use dialects to swear lol, i'm not sure whether cao 草/操 is used as a shortform for the hokkien term chaocheebai (abbreviated as ccb in text) (something about your mother's vagina..) and that in it self is not the full term of kaninabechaocheebai or knnccb (fuck your mother's smelly vagina) (wawa im not insulting you i swear 😭😭) i wonder if these two insults are somewhat related? surprisingly enough there is an entire list of things singaporeans may mispronounce or abbreviate on wikipedia...

oh and on a side note, i'd like to thank you for reigniting my passion for chinese! i just got back my gce-nlevels a few days ago and it's a B lol, i've been failing and barely passing for a while since i barely consume chinese media, but really i think your blog is excellent for learning chinese :) thanks wawa!

Hehe interesting!

I don't know if it's a shortening of 操你妈/干你娘/etc—I just assume those are separate because they're more like "fuck you" rather than just "fuck!" (exclamation, general, multipurpose).

Speaking of swears in dialects, one version of "fuck" that I forgot is 我日/wǒ rì (also written 我曰/wǒ yuē). I can't remember exactly why it's a synonym but I'm guessing it's because 日/rì sounds close to 入/rù (and 曰 looks similar to 日). You also see this in 歪日他爹/外日他登/etc (lit. "I fuck your dad" ==> 我操你妈, basically, i.e, “I fuck your mother", i.e, "fuck you").

I guess another dialect "fuck!" or "fucking" (adv) (I usually translate it as "motherfucker!" though) is 妈嘞个巴子/妈了个巴子 (mā lei gè bā zi). There are other variations of this one that I know I've come across as well but they're not coming to mind right now.

Also yay! Language improvement! I think it really helps to find something that interests you to help drive you to learn. I had the foundations myself growing up Chinese and whatnot but I've definitely improved quite a lot in the last few years, especially with my Chinese literacy. 加油~

[d-criss-news]

Darren Criss gave fans a treat last week by unveiling a summery new take on a 1990s throwback classic. 

The star of 2018′s “Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” on the FX network teamed up with DJ and producer Steve Aoki for a surprising cover of Dave Matthews Band’s “Crash Into Me.”

The 1996 original was, of course, a midtempo track that helped make DMB the definitive jam band of a generation. By comparison, Criss’s high-energy version ripples with EDM flourishes and is tailor-made for the dance floor.  

Fittingly, the Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning actor unveiled the song at a workout class last week at Barry’s Bootcamp in Los Angeles. 

“I just love smashing unexpected forms of music together to have people re-contextualize themselves with music,” Criss told People. “‘Crash Into Me’ has this really special place in the hearts of a lot of musicians and people my age. People really hold onto the things that really defined their adolescence and it’s a huge part of what they celebrate as adults. As those adults get the front seat of the cultural zeitgeist, fuck yeah, you’re gonna see a lot of those things.”

And getting Aoki ― who has collaborated with Linkin Park, Louis Tomlinson and BTS, among other artists ― on board was a no-brainer. 

“I’m just thrilled that Steve was as psyched about doing it as I was,” Criss told Billboard. “So to be able to meet somebody of his pedigree who’s exactly the kind of person who would be able to midwife this, it was great.”

“Crash Into Me” arrives amid a slew of new projects for Criss, who shot to fame in 2010 as Blaine Anderson on “Glee.” In November, he’ll appear alongside Woody Harrelson and Luke Evans in the World War II drama, “Midway.” He’s also gearing up to write, executive produce and star in a new musical comedy series, “Royalties,” for the shortform video platform, Quibi. 

No doubt “Crash Into Me” will be part of Criss’ set when he takes the stage alongside Aoki at the iHeart Radio Music Festival in Las Vegas. Though Matthews has yet to give his opinion of the new take, Criss said he’s hopeful the singer-songwriter “appreciates” it. 

“I hope he understands that it’s come from a significant amount of love and certainly celebration,” he said. “A lot of people who love Dave Matthews wouldn’t necessarily hear one of his songs in a club environment. God knows if I heard this version ― if this was a remix of the song and I was in the club and heard this ― this would keep me at the club.”

[darrencrissarmy]

Darren Criss gave fans a treat last week by unveiling a summery new take on a 1990s throwback classic.

The star of 2018′s “Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” on the FX network teamed up with DJ and producer Steve Aoki for a surprising cover of Dave Matthews Band’s “Crash Into Me.”

The 1996 original was, of course, a midtempo track that helped make DMB the definitive jam band of a generation. By comparison, Criss’s high-energy version ripples with EDM flourishes and is tailor-made for the dance floor.  

Fittingly, the Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning actor unveiled the song at a workout class last week at Barry’s Bootcamp in Los Angeles.

“I just love smashing unexpected forms of music together to have people re-contextualize themselves with music,” Criss told People. “‘Crash Into Me’ has this really special place in the hearts of a lot of musicians and people my age. People really hold onto the things that really defined their adolescence and it’s a huge part of what they celebrate as adults. As those adults get the front seat of the cultural zeitgeist, fuck yeah, you’re gonna see a lot of those things.”

And getting Aoki ― who has collaborated with Linkin Park, Louis Tomlinson and BTS, among other artists ― on board was a no-brainer.

“I’m just thrilled that Steve was as psyched about doing it as I was,” Criss told Billboard. “So to be able to meet somebody of his pedigree who’s exactly the kind of person who would be able to midwife this, it was great.”

“Crash Into Me” arrives amid a slew of new projects for Criss, who shot to fame in 2010 as Blaine Anderson on “Glee.” In November, he’ll appear alongside Woody Harrelson and Luke Evans in the World War II drama, “Midway.” He’s also gearing up to write, executive produce and star in a new musical comedy series, “Royalties,” for the shortform video platform, Quibi.

No doubt “Crash Into Me” will be part of Criss’ set when he takes the stage alongside Aoki at the iHeart Radio Music Festival in Las Vegas. Though Matthews has yet to give his opinion of the new take, Criss said he’s hopeful the singer-songwriter “appreciates” it.

“I hope he understands that it’s come from a significant amount of love and certainly celebration,” he said. “A lot of people who love Dave Matthews wouldn’t necessarily hear one of his songs in a club environment. God knows if I heard this version ― if this was a remix of the song and I was in the club and heard this ― this would keep me at the club.”