#I Don't Know How But They Found Me fanfic
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Hi OTNF and everyone,
I am finding that it's harder and harder and harder to get into anything - book, show, movie... most things seem, you know, to just not be doing it for me, be it fanfic or original stuff.
In part, I think, it's a general restlessness and that it's become harder to give anything enough time to get into the stories, the characters, the settings, the narrative voices... I guess you can call it attention deficit on my part, just a need for stories to deliver those sweet, sweet hits quickly, but they're not.
I'm not currently ficcing but I did for years (might again in the future, who knows), and it's made reading, specifically, harder. It's like I've become more aware of what goes on behind the scene, I guess? I feel like I can see the writer giving up on a sentence, skipping a scene because fuck this, trying hard to not repeat a word although it's the only one that fits, etc.
Or maybe it's just the *everything* around us in the world that is weighing on me too much? I could say it's adult life, but then again I have more free time than most (and boy do I need hours of doing nothing to survive the other hours), and no family/partner (all that would put even more pressure on me): what is wrong, to make everything so UGHHH?
I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with a brain moaning feed me, feeeed me, and whatever I try to give it, it spits everything out. (Yes, I've tried hobbies, and nothing sticks there either. I've never really found rewards or satisfaction there, so...)
Decades ago as a kid, I was a voracious reader, although studying literature took the pleasure of it away from me. It took time and discovering fanfic that brought me back to reading, but at the time the internet was starting to be a thing, too, and it can't have helped the attention thing. AFAIK I'm not ADHD but then again, I couldn't get a proper diagnosis (the therapists I saw were either dismissive or just about The Talking, which was pointless for me).
I just wonder how it all disappeared, you know? Sometimes I find something that catches my attention for a while - a book (but I read quite quickly when motivated), a fandom... but it's been a while now, and it's just so frustrating! When is it going to come back? Will it ever? *gulp*
I know that books were escapism when I was a child, and then fandom was escapism, but at the moment I find myself grabbing at air and my empty hands are mocking me. Give me my escapism baaaaack!
So, uh. Anyone here with me?
--
Yes.
I felt like that during part of lockdown. Anhedonia is common in those kinds of circumstances.
Getting your mojo back is certainly possible, but you may need to go see a professional about depression and have some chemical assistance (yes, even if you don't feel sad per se), or you may need to change your lifestyle to one that doesn't have the thing causing you to need eleventy billion hours of downtime.
Aside from serious interventions like that, you can consider a social media detox. Remove every source of doomscrolling and time wasting of that type. When the attention span is zero and nothing brings joy, the tiny and useless hits from finishing a game of solitaire or seeing one more instagram post become very attractive. This is a trap. It will suck what little energy and joy you have and make your muscles flabby for the work of getting into an in-depth book/hobby/experience.
I know the feeling of being able to see how the sausage is made, but... well... first, being in a better mental state will make that matter less, and second, reading prose that is more competent will make that less of an issue. A lot of mainstream tradpub genre fiction is not, in my opinion, very well written these days. Obviously, people are still enjoying it, and that's fine, but if you're noticing writers fumbling around, it might be time to check out some literary fiction or some other category known more for prose quality than anything else.
It's also important to have some structure and some things to look forward to. Even if you feel tired, overwhelmed, and busy, sometimes, the answer is to do more... But it must be things that are distinct and significant and that get you off of the couch, like going to one museum every weekend.
I saw some advice once about this kind of thing that phrased it as "One big adventure; one small adventure."
Every week, you should have those two things to look forward to that matter. Check out a new coffee shop. That could be the small one. Go to an event: a gallery opening, a concert, whatever.
Physical exercise and doing some things that aren't as verbal and conscious thought-involving is important too. Painting is a better hobby for zoning out than writing is. Taking long walks in nature is good for most people.
--
The kind of intense, obsessive love I had for reading as a child and that I sometimes have for fandom requires a lot of attention and some time. It's escapist, but that masks how much work it actually was. It didn't feel like work only because we were in training.
If you've filled your brain and your day up with a thousand petty annoyances or minor and useless attempts to feel something, you won't have the capacity for those deeper things.
Because you are already at a point that's equivalent to a bad sprained ankle, trying to get back to running right now won't work. You have to stay off of the ankle for a bit, then build your strength and stamina back up.
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please write more of your niragi fanfic!! i really loved it and im addicted to your writing!! 💗💗
Redemption ♡ Suguru Niragi ♡ Part Three
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Suguru Niragi x Fem!Reader ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Part Two: Here
Author's Note: UNEDITED! Not much Niragi is mentioned in this chapter. It's mostly you, Chishiya, and Kuina bonding! I know this chapter is pretty short. I promise I'm working on more! I should have the next chapter for this out pretty soon. I don't own any characters or images!
Genre: A little angsty
Summary: After your last game, you're left swirling with the pain of betrayal. Luckily, you have Kuina and Chishiya to help you recover.
Word Count: 1845
Warnings: OOC Chishiya and Niragi, talk of injury, blood, and betrayal
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
Trust and loyalty. The two most difficult things to find in the Borderlands. In a world of betrayal and death, rarely anyone was stupid enough to whole-heartedly believe in the good of another person.
Except, you did.
You trusted Niragi, for some silly reason. Despite all the warnings, you had faith in him. When you called out to him for help, you believed he would he there to give it to you.
Then you watched him walk away. As your blood ran down your arms and you were so close to making it out, you watched him turn his back on you. It was only a matter of seconds now before death would find you. It was sickening. The pit in your stomach felt bottomless.
You couldn't just wait to die. You had to keep going. You were so close, even without Niragi's help. Maybe you could still make it. You pushed yourself further, the barbs on your rope digging into your soft flesh as you reached for safety.
You couldn't see. You couldn't breathe. There was only pain. The sting of betrayal made it no easier to endure, but somehow, you endured. You clawed your way to the top, finally completing the deathly challenge, without the help of the man you thought was your friend.
You hazily found your key and pushed through your door. Your mind was foggy, and you couldn't remember much. You could only hear the sound of your heart beating in your ears.
Then, your vision went black. Yet, your heartbeat endured.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
You felt your soft sheets beneath you as an echo of hushed voices surrounded you. Your body ached, and your head felt heavier than usual. Your eyes peeked open, and you were thankful to find yourself in your room with Chishiya and Kuina by your sides.
"Y/N!" Kuina cried, seeing your eyes open a crack. You attempt to sit up, putting pressure on your injured palm. The pain is excruciating, and you fall onto your back once more. Kuina gingerly helps you sit up, positioning you against the headboard.
You're covered in bandages. Around your chest, neck, arms, and legs. You feel almost like a mummy. Memories come flooding back to you. Hazy, but painful memories.
"Shinji! Did he make it out?" You suddenly recall the young boy who you had grown fond of during your game. Kuina and Chishiya give you a confused look, as if not really knowing who you're referring to. Of course, they wouldn't know. The Beach is filled with hundreds of people.
"What happened during your game?" Chishiya inquired calmly. "You lost a great amount of blood. Luckily your injuries were nowhere near fatal."
"Did you patch me up?" You study the wrappings around your body. They look clean. Professionally done. Chishiya shrugged, as if not really wanting to answer your question. "My game... It had three stages. I got these from the last one. I had to... I had to climb a rope that resembled barbed wire. I tried to wrap up my hands, but it didn't work exactly."
"I'm just glad you made it out." Kuina sighed. How did you make it out? You don't remember much. Only the pain and frustration you felt as you hoisted yourself up the rope. You vaguely recall the key, and your bloody fumbling hands pushing through your door seconds before the game was over.
"Niragi. He made it out, right?" You ask, your voice sounding weak. He left you there, struggling. Why? Why would he betray you like that? Just when you'd thought you were getting through to a softer side of him.
"He's the one who brought you back." Chishiya spoke up. "He carried you back to your room while you were unconscious." Kuina nodded, leaning forward to add on to Chishiya's statements.
"Chishiya and I noticed him hauling you up the stairs. We followed you guys all the way back here. We thought maybe he was going to... Do something to you, but no. He just left you here with us."
You hum, not revealing what had happened between you and Niragi during the game. Silence filled the room as your mind raced. Chishiya stared at you quizzically.
"Are you hungry?" Kuina stood, picking up a plate from the table in the corner of your room. "You missed breakfast, and lunch. We didn't want to wake you, but we brought you food."
"Thanks." You muttered softly, taking the plate from her. The food was cold, but you didn't have much of an appetite anyway. "You guys are great friends. I appreciate you." Kuina uncomfortably shifted, glancing at Chishiya. He stood; his hands hidden in his pockets as usual.
"We will give you space to rest." He said, removing a hand from his pocket to wave Kuina towards the door. "Should you need anything, you know where to find us."
With that, the pair exit your room. You're alone, with a pile of cold food and a sore body. You now understand that you can't fully trust Niragi, as much as you wanted to.
Yet, you would've never guessed the conversation going on right outside your door.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
"Chishiya..." Kuina whined as your door shut. She didn't need to elaborate further on her thoughts. Chishiya already knew what she was going to say.
"We do not need to discuss this here." He began walking down the hallway, Kuina trailing behind him. She twiddled with her fingers nervously.
"She's nice. She's a good person. We can find someone else. Anyone else. You pick anyone else, and I promise I'll just go along with it." She pleaded.
"Kuina." Chishiya scolded, glaring at her. "We can explore your proposition. Just not here." Kuina's face lit up, now knowing that Chishiya was considering using someone else for the plan.
"Thank you." She sighed with relief, recalling your limp, fragile body being carried back to your room. She simply couldn't betray your trust like that.
"I don't consider it for your sake." Chishiya replied shortly. Kuina's better judgement told her not to question what this meant.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
It felt like you'd been couped up in your room for an eternity. Kuina would bring you meals, and Chishiya often checked on your bandages. Fortunately, he claimed you were "healing nicely". All you had to pass the time were a couple of books and a sketchpad.
"I'm bored." You complained while shoveling food into your mouth. "I feel fine enough to walk and all. Can't I just go out and enjoy the sun by the pool?"
"Swallow your food before you begin speaking." Chishiya rolled his eyes. "Your wounds aren't entirely healed. While you are making good progress, it could still get infected. Imagine that disgusting pool water making its way into your bandages."
"The things people do in that pool are disgusting." Kuina sticks her tongue out, slumping beside you on the bed. "I can't even imagine what kind of germs are in that water. Does anyone even clean the pool?"
"Tatta does." Chishiya adds. In the past few days, he has grown slightly more talkative than usual. You find it pleasant to see Chishiya opening up more.
"I don't have to go by the pool. Just on a walk, or something." You finally swallow your mouthful of food. "I promise I'll be careful, and I won't run into any trouble."
"Why do you try to appeal to us?" Chishiya raises an eyebrow. "I'm not your keeper. I only advise that you remain here and rest. Yet, you are an adult who can make her own decisions."
"I don't know." You giggle, shifting yourself so your legs hang off the edge of the bed. "I guess you two are kind of like... Parents? Mama y Papa, y'know?" Chishiya and Kuina flash disgusted looks at one another.
"Okay, Y/N. Maybe you do need some fresh air. You're losing it in here." Kuina chuckles, helping you out of bed. Had they not found painkillers for you, you would be in agony.
Chishiya left the room as Kuina helped you get dressed. As much as you tried to hide it under your cardigan, your bandages still showed through your bathing suit.
"You still look beautiful." Kuina smiled, giving you a gentle hug and trying to be mindful of your injuries. "Now c'mon. We'll accompany you on your little outing."
"We will?" Chishiya groaned from outside the door. You laugh as you turn the knob, coming face to face with the blonde. He looks as though he would rather be anywhere, but out on a walk with you and Kuina.
"We will." Kuina huffed, interlocking her arm with yours carefully. "Don't be such a party pooper. Y/N is still hurt. Besides, it'll probably do you some good too."
Chishiya shrugs, shifting his hands comfortably in his pockets, before following you and Kuina down the hall. The stairs were a bit tricky, but you felt incredibly accomplished making your way all the way down to the ground floor.
As you make it through the doors of the building, you took a deep breath. The windows in your room didn't really open, so it was nice to feel fresh air filling your lungs.
You and Kuina dominated the conversation, chatting about life as the three of you walked through the front garden. Chishiya listened and followed along from behind.
"I'm still worried." You say, watching people pass you by. "I haven't seen Shinji at all. You know, the boy from my game?" Your eyes drop to the ground as you continue. "I... I don't think he had the time to make it. He was so... Young?"
"I'm sorry, Y/N." Kuina comforts. "It's cruel. What happens in these games... It's not fair. It's like all the best people are getting hurt and killed."
"I was unconscious the whole way back here. I don't know what happened. I don't know if he made it back to the car or anything." You sigh, carefully rotating your body as you and Kuina turn a corner.
"Ask." Chishiya finally spoke for the first time during the walk. Both you and Kuina turn your head to face him, questioningly. "Ask if he made it back to the car, if it's weighing so heavy on you."
"Who would I even ask?" You scoff. Your mind wandered back to who was in the car with you. The only person you really knew was Niragi, and you were terrified at the thought of facing him again.
"Him?" Chishiya motioned to somewhere ahead of you. You turned your head forward again, facing the direction he was pointing your attention towards.
Several meters away, stood Niragi. The one person you didn't want to see. His gun was slung over his shoulder, and he stared directly back at you.
Did he remember how he watched you struggle? Did he see the blood running down your arms as you reached to him for help? What was he thinking when he turned away from you?
And what was he thinking as he began to walk towards you now?
#reader x character#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#aib#aib x reader#alice in borderland#reader x aib#niragi suguru x reader#suguru niragi#suguru niragi x reader#niragi angst#niragi x reader#niragi suguru#niragi alice in borderland#aib niragi#alice in borderlands x reader#alice in borderland x y/n#alice in borderland x reader#alice in borderlands
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Look
As far as I'm concerned, 2021 was @asktrio516's peak year. That was when I discovered her, when I found Tumblr. I've spent three-and-a-bit years joining and leaving Tumblr over and over again, but it all started when I typed "ttte humanised" into the Google search bar. 2021 was when I was most excited about Tumblr. It was all because of my stupid autistic brain.
And I don't know how to thank her.
About 2021...
That was also my peak year. I was at my happiest, because I was in a new environment. And then we moved, and then we were in a bigger and newer (to me) environment.
How did I come up with Sodor City?
It was because of three things:
A fanfic series called Thomas Abridged,
@asktrio516,
And @askthefamous8.
It's gone through so many changes, from being a school fic, to... something else, to a bunch of people causing havoc.
I was overflowing with creativity and ideas, I had fun making Picrews and saving them to my Google Drive.
And even when I went to school, I was still having fun. Grade 7 (for the most part) still felt like it was the summer of 2021, when I was just showing the adults at my school my stupid ideas, even into early 2022. I snuck onto Tumblr using a fake birthday just so I could like @asktrio516's posts, I loved her that much.
And then... things changed. The summer of 2022 didn't bring as much creativity as I hoped (towards T&F. I started getting into Power Rangers). The people who I showed my stuff left my school.
Summer ended.
And I was never quite the same since.
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Idk if I'm gonna make a review post, exactly, but the things that went on with Sonic's character in movie 3 have left me reeling, and dying to analyze. I don't have many screenshots to share, and the ones I do aren't good quality bc the movie's not released digitally yet, but here goes.
For one, the theme of dealing with grief was so well handled. I was hoping they were going to use the parallel of this Sonic losing someone close to him, just like Shadow had, and that's just what they did. What made it even more painful, however, was how Sonic was faced with the possibility of losing a second parental figure.
Shadow saw him hunched over Tom, pleading with him to wake up, and remembered himself doing the same when Maria had died. That was where Shadow saw a bit of himself in Sonic.
Shadow took mental notes of it, but he didn't back off, though he didn't make any other attempts to hurt Tom. Heck, he wouldn't have attacked in the first place if Tom hadn't been disguised as Walters.
And just... watching the way Sonic just started spiraling after this scene was so heartbreaking. The way he looked so lost and broken as they were taking him away in the ambulance, when Maddie didn't say anything to them, and the camera just zoomed out for a few seconds, showing him and his brothers looking so small and so lost in the world as they were left alone, unsure if their dad would be okay.
Sonic didn't want comfort. After the initial fear and grief, the anger he'd felt earlier when he turned on Shadow came back with a vengeance, quite literally. Looking at their calmer, almost normal everyday life earlier in the movie, it seems everything's fine. Sonic seemed fine and perky. I was taken aback at how calm he was about finding his old cave. He seemed fine, all things considered from earlier in his life. The Before Times, as fanfics have dubbed them.
But the moment his found family was threatened, the moment he was faced with the possibility of losing the home and love he'd finally gotten after so many years of pain and isolation, he fell apart. He became aggressively protective of it. Of course he would want to defend those he loves, but not like this. Not the Sonic we know.
The way Shadow phrased it later, "What kind of hero abandons his friends to seek revenge? Abandons his family?"
That struck a nerve, but Sonic just snapped back, "Don't you dare talk about my family."
The expressions he had after he'd taken the Master Emerald and gone after Shadow were so complex. You can see the mix of emotions on his face. Most clearly, the anger. But mixed in, you see the pain, the grief, the paralyzing fear of losing someone else, and you see how emotionally fragile he really is.
Shadow scoffs about how he'd thought that Sonic cared for them. "Especially the one, what's his name again? Tom?"
And that pushed him over the edge.
The way he just let out that chilling scream of rage and grief and went on to punch Shadow so hard he quite literally sent him flying straight into the moon. He was enraged. He was distressed. He was spiraling. And he was, for a few minutes, completely out of control.
We know that this version of Sonic is not so reserved about killing people, like the game version. In the second movie, Sonic had every intention of killing Robotnik in the final battle, and he thought he succeeded. This marks the second time that if someone threatens Sonic's family, he's out for blood. In that vein, he's like his game counterpart; it's the safety of his loved ones, not himself, that he's concerned about. Passionate about.
Except.
He could not bring himself to do it.
I think part of him was remembering what Walters had said about Shadow having experienced loss, the way he had.
He'd won here. He could've just killed Shadow right then and there. Shadow was even goading him into just doing it. Demanded what he was waiting for. Pointing to his own chest and yelling that he was right there. To just do it. (Another thing to analyze; Shadow was just done with everything and didn't even care if he died at this point, but that's for another post.)
But something was stopping him.
Even in those screenshots, you can see the pain and anger mixed on his face. I could be mistaken, but it looks like there's a tear in his eye. (If I'm right, the idea of him crying during this fight makes me break apart in sadness.)
And then came the flashback. This is what drives me insane.
In Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow is out to destroy the world, and it's remembering Maria's true final wish that stopped him.
I never could've predicted that in this version, it was Sonic who was out to kill someone, kill Shadow, but remembering Tom's words to him about not letting his pain change who he is was what stopped him. Sonic was the one who needed to stop and remember. And that's just what he did. 🥺
And then, only then, was he able to calm down, remember himself, remember what Tom would want him to do. He wasn't handling this the same way he'd handled Longclaw's death. He was turning into exactly what Shadow had become. The horror at realizing what he'd nearly become, what he'd almost done, set in.
He made the right choice in the end because of that. Just like Shadow did in the games. Just like he later did here, too. But Shadow was able to have "redemption" of sorts in this version, not because of some talk, but because he saw the example in Sonic, right in front of him.
We know what happened next, I'm not gonna go much into it. But seeing this whole side of Sonic, the side that just barely slipped out in the last movie, was so, so fascinating. I love how each movie continues to explore him as the main character, in a different way. This one probably got me crying the most. I cried even as I wrote this post and put more pieces together. The more I think about it, the more I love it. 🥹😭💙💛❤️
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie 3#sonic movie 3 spoilers#spoilers#character analysis#scene analysis#sonic movie 3 analysis#sonic wachowski#shadow the hedgehog#movie shadow#tom wachowski#maddie wachowski#wachowski family#scu#sonic cinematic universe#analysis#angst#uugghhhhhh i cant wait to rewatch this movie#im broken
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Feel free to ignore this bc i know the topic is annoying but i was wondering about hbomberguy’s video criticizing rwby… did he admit that he made shit up for that or just flat out didn’t even watch rwby? I feel like I’ve seen that said before but never knew if it was true or if maybe I’m misremembering
Honestly i feel hypocritical for never having watched that video myself but also i try not to engage with shit i know will piss me off. The same can’t be said for 99% of the people who won’t shut up about how much they think rwby sucks 🙄
i don't think he's ever admitted to anything - the level of ego it takes to prostrate yourself as a media critic when all he does is make character attacks against the creators that he knows he can get away with (the weird parasocial dogging on Miles and Kerry, implicating them as paedophiles at one point if i recall correctly. an early version of the video having him shitting on Barbara for a tweet she made telling people not to watch the show if they don't like it that was only removed when viewers pointed out that she'd tweeted that in a specific context - that she and Arryn had been tagged in a fucked up edit of their characters stabbing each other by an asshat in the hatedom - which showcases either his poor research abilities that he didn't look further into that or that he knew and didn't care as it was an opportunity to attack someone else until he found out that the context was known and he couldn't get away with it) doesn't leave much room for self-reflection
i'm in the same boat - i don't watch shit that pisses me off because outrage bait rots your brain and i have better things to do with my life than watch that pretentious turnip lie about shit he doesn't like
from what i do know he misrepresents certain aspects of the show (calls Sun white at one point), makes clear he doesn't pay attention in other parts (claims the 'dust robbery plotline' was dropped and left unresolved when it wasn't). oh and he lies. a lot.
about Monty specifically - because he presents himself as having been a fan of Monty, disappointed that the show was dragged down by Miles and Kerry specifically (and makes it clear he thinks everyone else who works on the show is too talented to be wasting their time on it). and dedicated the video in Monty's memory
except he fucking hated Monty when he was alive, and we know this because of posts he'd made on the somethingawful forums about six months before Monty's death where he shits on Monty, shows blatant contempt for everything Monty had ever done, seems to just not respect anyone who engages in fandom (weird distaste for people who write fanfic, make fanart, cosplay) and throwing everything he says in that video into doubt because he's blatantly lying about having been a fan of the man
and you know why? it's the same reason his Sherlock video primarily focuses on shitting on Moffat and doesn't call much attention to Mark Gatiss's contributions. because it's bad for Hbomb's image to attack a dead man or a gay man - regardless of why he's criticising them
#rwb/y#personally i think if you claim to be a media critic and at any point you start making weird parasocial attacks on the creators involved#then you're a bad fucking media critic because the shit you're bringing up has nothing to do with the show being critiqued#and just makes it look like you have a weird fucking grudge you're working backwards to justify#and nothing you've said can be taken as read because you're acting in bad faith
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May I ask you about your writing??? First of all and possibly most importantly, how do you do it? How do you find inspiration and such? How do you make it happen? Because I sat down with a really juicy idea not long ago and I was excited and it was incredibly hard. I deleted it, I was embarrassed. So how do you first, come up with a great idea (which you do you write such cool stuff!) and then bring it to fruition? I’ve always been a decent writer but I was really frustrated with the fic I set out to write!!!
Hey anon! Sorry for sitting on this for a while but it came in the night before a big academic conference for me, so I've had almost no time for anything, sadly.
First off, thank you so much for the compliment on my writing! A lot of the direct answers to your questions are not very satisfying, tbh. Ideas come to me from everywhere—things I watch, read, random internet things—and how I bring it to fruition mostly involves a lot of planning. I got a lot happier with my work when I started making outlines for my fics, so I always know where I want to go with the story and how I'm getting there, versus meandering around aimlessly.
I'm guessing that there was something about your idea that was particularly challenging, since you said that you've always been a decent writer but found what you produced frustrating. Since I don't know the details I'm gonna give some advice that will hopefully cover a few different aspects. And first, a short list, and then the details under the cut because I'm a wordy bitch.
Just keep writing. It can take a while to find your voice.
Get help. Seek out 'subject experts' and people who you think are good at writing the kinds of stories you want to write.
Read a lot, and broadly, especially in the genre you want to write.
1. Just keep writing. It can take a while to find your voice.
I started writing fanfic (or, re-started, because I wrote when I was young and then took a looooong break) to get the stories out of my head, and my first fics were not great lol. They were also for a rarepair and approximately 5 people read them, so there wasn't much pressure I suppose. I was just putting them on AO3 because I figured why not? And then I just kept writing, off and on for different fandoms, until the writing bug really caught me and I started producing a lot more, about five years ago. But it probably took me ~20 fics (several of which were quite long) before I'd consider my stuff to be decent. Whether you share your early works or not is up to you, but in general I'd recommend it because there's a good chance someone will love it (even if you consider it to be substandard) and that can help you feel better about your own writing. I didn't start out good at writing action, but I wrote (and read, see below) consistently in a lot of action-heavy fandoms, so I got a lot of practice. I also feel like the more I wrote, the more ideas I got, and the more unique ideas I got.
You occasionally see someone in fandom who's like "this is my first fic!" and it gets really popular or and lots of hype or whatever, but that's not the typical experience. Most of us start out writing like crap. It's ok. It gets better.
2. Get help. Seek out 'subject experts' and people who you think are good at writing the kinds of stories you want to write.
Ok, so you wrote a first draft you were disappointed in. Ask yourself what was disappointing about it? Do you feel like the beats aren't hitting, or the action is wooden, or the language is awkward? The great thing about fandom and fanfiction is that there are so many people that are willing to help out as beta readers or even just someone to talk to. I understand that getting a beta reader can seem daunting. You don't want someone to criticize your work, or it might seem embarrassing to show someone else a work you feel bad about. But if you get someone else to read it, you'll have the chance to both hear good things about it and also get advice about things you're uncertain about. People come to fandom from all walks of life and I'm a big fan of asking for help if you're writing about something you're not super familiar with. I've never actually been to therapy, so getting help from @celeritas2997 was absolutely critical for me to feel good about my couple's therapy AU. Also you can ask people for advice if they write the kinds of fics you want to write—I've had multiple people ask me for help with their action scenes, and I'm always happy to lend an eye and give advice.
Also, related to this: it's ok if you don't like your first draft. But don't delete it! Put it aside, whether you ask someone else to look at it or not, and come back to it a while later with fresh eyes. It may not be as terrible as you thought! Or maybe there are parts you still hate, but there are other parts that you can work on and revise.
3. Read a lot, and broadly, especially in the genre you want to write.
Want to write sci-fi? Read a lot of sci-fi novels. Read a lot of sci-fi AUs. Break out of your fandom and read fics in fandoms you don't know—I used to do this a lot and it was one of the most important steps in my process of finding my own voice as well as understanding how stories are built. When you read in only one fandom, you get used to a lot of the same voices and types of stories, but there is SO MUCH out there. I've been known to scroll through the 'Enemies to Lovers' tag on occasion, but also I will go into fandoms for media I know but have no strong connection to, don't want to write in but know the characters, and read those. I spent a lot of time reading X-men, Good Omens, Witcher, even MCU juggernauts like Stucky even though I don't really ship them. I know it probably sounds crazy to tell you to go read other fandoms when (I'm assuming you're RWRB) there's so much in this one, but I do think it's valuable. This one is not only for getting exposed to a lot of writing styles, but also lots of ideas. I've definitely gotten a lot of ideas that spun off from something else I read.
I feel like none of this is particularly revolutionary advice, but I hope it at least gives you (and anyone else who manages to read this far lol) some confidence to keep going and go after those stories you want to write. Everyone—me, popular fandom writers, professional authors—started out just writing a lot, and they improved over time.
Most importantly: just keep going. You can do it!!
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I would argue that Megumi leaving Gojo out of his loved ones when thinking about his idealist life with Tsumiki and Yuji highlights the continued tragedy that is Satoru Gojo's lack of communication and connection skills. Alsoooo (and this might be an asspull) it feeds into my perception that both Megumi and Gojo wanted the relationship to be deeper but both couldn't ever come to truly understand one another and connect on that level. And I have alot more comments on that but that will wait till another day if I feel like it lol
#and that's on that folks#I love the father-son headcanon and fanfics as much as the next guy but I just gotta be realistic lol#I just need wholesome teen dad who doesn't know what he's doing content NOW#but the tradegy of we could have been a found family but I could never reach you works too ig#I spelled tragedy wrong fuck#I still firmly believe this is a Nani - Lilo situation with just like 10x the emotional constipation and trauma#jjk#anway Megumi and Itafushi nation how are we feeling? I feel like I just won the lottery lmaooo this chapter was made for me#jjk 266#jjk leaks#this is just me spitting out words if they don't make sense or you disagree uhhh contact your local congress person to complain about it
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Me, upon receiving one (1) SORTA mean, maybe-off comment out of hundreds of super nice comments that I love, now staring for even MORE hours at the draft of the next chapter I need to write: Well, fuck. Now what? Also Me, .02 seconds later, gritting my teeth and strategizing: Well, I write this fanfic for me. This is my fanfic. People can think what they like. I will take this comment and use it to think of new ways to improve my writing, but I will not internalize it. I write this fanfic for me. This is my fanfic. People can think what they like. I will take this comment and use it to think of new ways to improve my writing, but I will not internalize it. I write this fanfic for ME. This is MY fanfic. People can think what they like--
#so anyway I got a comment that had my biting nails and thinking about characterization for the next thousand years#it wasn't even aimed at me it was just a stupid decision that I had the character make#which I did on purpose#but it got me so riled up and IT WASN'T EVEN AT ME#like.#damn.#wtf.#I'm fine now I freaked out over it yesterday I think#maybe the day before#we're strategizing and using it as a learning experience#it's prompted me to start thinking about an area of the story that I hadn't yet#so that's good#hot damn I knew there was gonna be unkind criticism but this wasn't even criticism towards me#and yet it felt like a backhand next time I remembered it#praying that anyone who sees this can take criticism better than me <3#fuck.#well#found something to work on ig#~always look on the bright side of life~#meme time#just yelling into the void#writeblr#fanfic#ao3#YOU SHOULD STILL COMMENT ON FICS THO OK I OVERREACTED AND THAT'S ON ME COMMENT ON FICS DON'T BE AFRAID#THIS IS SUPPOSED TO SHOW HOW RIDICULOUS MY REACTION IS I KNOW MY FAILINGS FRET NOT#rewind series
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hmmmm biggest mistake of Your jeep. Your teeth. The coffee that you bought me so far was making it take place 1998.... whoops... i just really wanted Bradley to be turning 15...
this just shows that i'll do anything for the birthday guy... i'll even disregard real military operations and historical events. anything for u bradley brad bradshaw
#there were no major battles or accomplishments or operations in early june of 1998 for Mav to get injured in#at least none that Wikipedia tells me#like where were u mav..... where did they send you....#so he just got injured... somehow... somewhere... that I don't even know#i unfortunately found this outwhen I was trying to make a timeline of my icemav's relationship...#and then i fell down a us military research rabbit hole and rerealized a plot inconsistency#like i kinda already knew that nothing happened in 1998 but i was trying to ignore it#i like how i said MY icemav#l was trying to say my interpretation#but like they're mine ig#let me know if anyone wants a timeline btw i will make a post#i'll make it all pretty and cool looking#please someone say yes#icemav#icemav fanfic#top gun 1986#top gun#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#bradley rooster bradshaw#stopthatfool writes
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Come take... this... hand... at twi... light’s... door... I’ll meet... you... there We’ll share the moonlit floor through the driving rain –
#bsd fyodor#bsd#bsd fyodor dostoyevsky#bsd fyodor dostoevky#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs fyodor#bungou stray dogs fyodor dostoevsky#after I read Kat's fanfic that I requested... the one I gave her Siouxsie and The Banshees's 'Lands End' lyrics for...#I found myself suddnely drawing this#only for my pleasure and further character exploration#and now that he returned so beautifully in the manga - it feels natural to share this with you my dear souls#I'm referring especially to my time-blog transcending mutuals - yeah perhaps you will be happy to see the no-fanart promise broken#at least from time to time#but really I've been at much more peace now that I don't engage with the fandom that much anymore#I'm only open to character analysis topics on this blog and put other stuff aside#I'm glad that from time to time people discover my fanarts buried in who knows how many reblogs on other blogs and#they add sweet tags or lose their minds there - I love it#but as for me... I'll use some Depeche Mode lyrics for this---#'oh leave me here forevermore - I found the peace I've been searching for'#ah but I guess the Angel of Love is still upon me -#'I was lost.. I was found!'
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who needs sleep when you can stay up all night like you did in middle school writing emo bandom fanfic about ryan and dallon kidnapping brendon and keeping him locked in a cellar so they can get revenge for all the shit he pulled :)
if i post it at all it will be once its fully finished so don’t expect much
#emo#yeemo#Panic! at the Disco#Panic at the Disco#p!atd#patd#brendon urie#ryan ross#dallon weekes#idkhow#i don't know how but they found me#Wattpad#fanfiction#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own
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This one is titled "I needed to urgently work on a presentation* so instead**, I somehow spent my whole day doing fuck all instead and the evening listening to Laura's Buam and consequently experiencing the whole spectrum of human emotions over the span of like, four to six songs" and goes out to @mondscheinprinzessin, naturally, for dragging me into this band.
#* for a subject I actively hate with a burning passion#**knowing it will lead to me crying for the x-th time this semester over being stressed and losing#my last bits of motivation for my studies that I once was very passionate about + general other life stuff i can't cope with anymore#the first one means i read the wikipedia page of passau and we all know once you google stuff related to the band but unrelated to#their music it's all over#i'm so glad i know fuck all about them otherwise or i'd be stopping myself from hopping on over to ao3#i'd love to know what makes me want to read/write fanfic about a band or book or show or whatever.#with blind channel it was there very quickly; with lost society i still don't care; with bojan/käärija i'm interested in the authors more#than the fics; and with lonely spring it's like hmmmm. no urge to look if there's fanfic about them found anywhere in my brain.#anyway laura tell your buam to stop making sad music! they have to stop with these far too relatable lyrics!#should i just print this out and take it to my therapy appointment on friday?#mine#lauras buam#lonely spring#ich hab gedacht passau wär ne großstadt aber nein da wohnen 50.000 leute und es ist halb so groß wie dornbirn und#nur viermal so groß wie mein dorf ☠#und ein viertel von den leuten sind studenten. die stadt muss im sommer so tot sein wie innsbruck#PASSAU IST KLEINER ALS INNSBRUCK. 35 KM^2 KLEINER. wtf. how. warum hab ich gedacht das wär ne großstadt#aber ich könnte vor meiner haustür in den inn hüpfen und mich bis passau treiben lassen. laura pspsps wie wärs mit passau auf der nächsten#tour statt augsburg? die stadt liegt genau an einem großen fluss bzw zusammenlauf von drei flüssen mit drei verschiedenen farben
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seemingly the only way i can ever get into any new thing is if i spontaneously decide to watch/read it
#shut up danni's talking#in other news aloneintherain posted a welcome to demon school iruma-kun fanfic while i was sleeping#woke up the notification and thought huh well i don't wanna get up now so lemme boot up crunchyroll#i am now on season 2 ep 1#so that's fun!#and i would die for iruma - him and azz are deffo gay#my angel clara is either lesbian or she's aro lesbian and i can't decide which i like better so shrug#but that girl eiko is ABSOLUTELY bi honestly she's like my fave side character#uh big buff and dumb blonde is also a favourite of mine#he's so passionate abt the demon king and stuff and i cackled when he found out the demon king club was full of nerds#and yet he IMMEDIATELY without a single second of hesitation joined and like MAD respect i adore him#ameri is also cool but she is absolutely demiromantic with a romantic soul and i ship her w eiko#but man the relationship between iruma and his grandpa is so sweet???;;#i wanted to melt at the festival and the other classmates were like oh man bet you're the pride of your family iruma and he was like#YEAH I LOVE GRANDPA AND OPERA#i wanted to cry#also the fact that iruma puts his hair up in a ponytail when exercising is my absolute favourite thing#and is definitely a key reason why i think he's one of my faves i'm always weak when a character can have a small ponytail#anyways just letting y'all know and when i finish watching the anime fingers crossed my dumbass brain will let me comprehend the manga#idk HOW i managed to comprehend the mha manga way back when but hopefully it'll work this time too#i have a feeling that a lot of the fandom is weighted towards the manga spoilers rather than the anime which is fair#also i THOUGHT crunchyroll had messed up bc i was sure i had three more episodes left of season one and i did#when i finished s2 ep1 it tried to make me watch s3 ep1 which like no thank you#so now im gonna have to go back and be confused rip
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go places, chapter 3/7 | ao3 | ff.net |
Summary: Three weeks, more or less, at the South Rukongai District 70 Consolidated Shinigami Recruitment Station.
Starring: Rukia, a dreadful teenaged ghost from Inuzuri Renji, her dreadful teenaged ghost companion and Mr. Mochida, a shinigami recruiter who deserves better
Rating: Teen, for discussions of past trauma and some cussing
Updates: Every three days until it's done.
This time: Rukia and Renji settle into life at the recruitment station.
#my writing#renruki#rukia kuchiki#renji abarai#polynya is anything every going to happen in this fanfic?#listen not every fanfic is a fanfic where ''things'' ''happen''#sometimes a fanfic is a vehicle for some very specific vibes and extremely niche worldbuilding headcanons#btw i don't know if this was common knowledge but it never occurred to me that waraji only last a few days#i had to sit and stare into the middle distance for a few minutes when i found that one out#i actually found a cool video where a man demonstrated how to make them#i'll probably include it when i get around to making my big go places errata post
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Huh?? Whuh??? Okay (Patreon)
#Doodles#Scouting fanfics has been Interesting on my brain lol#I tried to pick out the ones I fixated on first with exception of Vargas 'cause well - y'know lol#Someday 😔😢✨#But that still left me with a solid handful!#I'm trying to print them in increasing order - get the little guys out of the way once I'm satisfied with the process#And then work my way up so as to not Immediately overwhelm myself or my printer#And Helix happened to be the shortest among the fixation fics lol - what happens when I revisit a fixation? Correct!#Now granted it's only been since 2021 that I fixated on it - which is actually double funny to me since I was going back through my backlog#And I found some doodles of Max and Dex from 2019 - before I ever drew ZEX! - but I just never finished them lol#Very funny to me that I drew them first but then went in hard on ZEX and then SCII in general and /then/ circled back around lol#I know they weren't my in but dang what a quick turnaround in both directions lol#Well anyway the point is I love them and I love Helix <3#Jump to Japanese! While ''rereading'' my Japanese KoiBo volumes I'll occasionally pause and see if I can actually read something#I have a very loose grasp on Hiragana at this point - needta get back into practice to refresh - but context clues are my friends!#I think it's cute how Souichi just says ohayou but Morinaga says the full ohayou gozaimasu hehe <3#It's not so much that Morinaga speaks politely (although he does) but that Souichi speaks casually/disrespectfully! I love him <3 <3#I do get mixed up between su and tsu quite a lot - I know they don't look similar but I use a pneumonic for た (ta) that contradicts su :P#I'll get there! Every little step closer!#Last little guy was an at-the-time mystery pain in my guts! :0 I thought I ate something dodgy but it was acting weird for that#I think I've gotten it figured out by this point and the pain has gone away :D So who can complain!
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I read the first aurora teagarden book from my omnibus (remind me to never buy an omnibus again 🙄 Especially not hardcover) and I really like it. Idk man, I just love how charlaine Harris writes and I love her characters and I love how like...practical they are sometimes and how she writes about the small little real life details like washing dishes and buying shoes. and aurora is a 28 year old librarian which like Big Mood for me personally, even though I don't work in the library anymore. I just liked her though.
#I'm reading stuff#sometimes you read a book and you're like oh ok. i AM the target audience#like omg the borrower?? by rebecca makkai also so much#anyway i have to finish lattes and legends#which is like...ok. it's just. meh really#i don't know why i expected it to be more it's very much what it says on the tin#guess i found out why coffee shop AU is usually an AU and not stand alone#and after that my friend wants me to read a mlm book that looks soooo trashy omg#it's called bully king and im lowkey worried it's going to he horrendous#but it's interesting how she reads mlm books probably for the same reason i read fanfic yk? anyway#yeah
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