#found something to work on ig
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Me, upon receiving one (1) SORTA mean, maybe-off comment out of hundreds of super nice comments that I love, now staring for even MORE hours at the draft of the next chapter I need to write: Well, fuck. Now what? Also Me, .02 seconds later, gritting my teeth and strategizing: Well, I write this fanfic for me. This is my fanfic. People can think what they like. I will take this comment and use it to think of new ways to improve my writing, but I will not internalize it. I write this fanfic for me. This is my fanfic. People can think what they like. I will take this comment and use it to think of new ways to improve my writing, but I will not internalize it. I write this fanfic for ME. This is MY fanfic. People can think what they like--
#so anyway I got a comment that had my biting nails and thinking about characterization for the next thousand years#it wasn't even aimed at me it was just a stupid decision that I had the character make#which I did on purpose#but it got me so riled up and IT WASN'T EVEN AT ME#like.#damn.#wtf.#I'm fine now I freaked out over it yesterday I think#maybe the day before#we're strategizing and using it as a learning experience#it's prompted me to start thinking about an area of the story that I hadn't yet#so that's good#hot damn I knew there was gonna be unkind criticism but this wasn't even criticism towards me#and yet it felt like a backhand next time I remembered it#praying that anyone who sees this can take criticism better than me <3#fuck.#well#found something to work on ig#~always look on the bright side of life~#meme time#just yelling into the void#writeblr#fanfic#ao3#YOU SHOULD STILL COMMENT ON FICS THO OK I OVERREACTED AND THAT'S ON ME COMMENT ON FICS DON'T BE AFRAID#THIS IS SUPPOSED TO SHOW HOW RIDICULOUS MY REACTION IS I KNOW MY FAILINGS FRET NOT#rewind series
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"I saw Ms. Casey down there.
(...) May I ask why?"
#severance#severance s2 spoilers#severance 01x04#severance 01x05#severance 02x07#ms. casey#seth milchick#dichen lachman#i have always found ms. casey and mr. milchick's dynamic kind of fascinating#because in my opinion he's always seemed tensest or guiltiest around her(at least in s1)#he doesn't seem to maintain eye contact with her for too long and once he does his face is covered in shadows(at least in s1)#he doesn't really smile at her or keep that jubilant(?) tone... like he does somewhat in s2 but not the whole time he talks to her#i was gonna say something about doors being a common thing in their scenes together but that just sounds obvious and silly#idk if it was just me but milchick telling cobel that the chips work felt like him asking them to stop whatever it is lumon was doing to he#but what do i know?#there's just a sadness in his eyes when he looks at her(to me)#i was inspired by tramell's comment praising dichen on ig...#hope milchik will one day hold the door open so she can leave... but he is a company man... but maybe not anymore(soon)?#LOVE dichen and tramell's work on the show#severanceedit#tramell tillman#i SWEAR i thought i put milchik's name after dichen's but i'm so sleepy yet have so many thoughts????#sorry to tramell... you're gorgeous and talented and ily#dichen and tramell are so attractive...#my head cannon is that he doesnt want anything to do with ms. casey or gemma because he knows it's cruel what they're doing to her#i really do get the sense that he maybe feels guilt or shame when he's around her? DEFINITELY discomfort#mr. milchick
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Artist: kiko-sempai
I feel like the artist I commission lately just know when they made something I might like...so they hunt me down and follow me on other platforms to draw my attention to it.. lol
This dress was something I saw in passing but was like 'I need to behave even if I feel Violetta would look perfect in it'.. then the artist followed me on 2 other platforms, so I took it as a sign and here we are. LOL
#i love their work. their outfits and ideas are gorgeous#and I woulda been like 'they just following to get my attention' ig#which trust me i WAY prefer over getting a DM telling me commissions are open or something but that's usually what bots do#but she found my not used often link with my spicy art.. lol#so she REALLY went digging for me#so yeah. very flattered. been very flattered folks love drawing her#or they adore drawing gwenevere with rosalina#it's been nice getting art lately. folks are so sweet#for me#not my art#oc: violetta#oc: princess violetta#artwork
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watched the first 2 episodes of acolyte and so far i like every character except for the main one lol. (also is her name osha as in occupational safety and health administration??)
#star wars#the acolyte#acolyte#the nemoidian faces look really good#definitely the best looking prequel alien from the last few shows#rather ironic to name Miss Hazardous Workplace Conditions 'Osha' lol#the assassin lady was really cool looking#it was pretty funny to see that the 120bby sith assassins are reasonably friendly to each other#and at least help each other somewhat#and then there's poor ventress (and briefly savage ig) who just get force-zapped a bunch#the conversation between sol and vernesta(?) at the end of ep 2 was also pretty funny#vernestra: well we have to take time to Thoughtfully Deliberate this situation so we can respond wisely :)#sol: SHE IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL ME???#poor guy hope the situation works out better for him#hey at least his new padawan (orange theelin) is smart#anyways might draw one of them idk#more inclined to draw nightsisters and soft wars rn but we'll see#whos the sith(?) cant be plageius bc hes a muun right?#how old is palpatine again? was the acolyte project his Sith Senior Thesis or something like that#unrelated but the scene of the jedi running around the ice planet bareheaded was so infuriating lol#PUT ON YOUR HOODS I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM#maybe i'll draw hats for them all#i found it a bit weird that they basically gave osha the anakin background? having her be *eight* specifically when she got to the temple#felt a bit off#kind of like it's taking away from the caution around anakin's induction? since i think koth was four and that was considered 'late'#so for a non-prophecied random kid to show up at age eight?#on the other hand maybe they only got cautious about age after this whole debacle happened? idk i'll see what happens#ok i think thats all
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tbh one of my pet peeves on the internet is that some people don't know the difference between tone deaf advice and advice that doesn't happen to apply to their circumstances. like. idrk how else to elaborate but someone who has just enough time/energy left at the end of the day to unwind after work before going to sleep saying "I like to read for a little bit before bed it's really helpful in relaxing :)" is not the same as someone very wealthy bragging from their yacht about how they have a very good low-stress work life balance and the amount of times I've seen them be treated like they are is. well it's really something
#'i like to make these raspberry treats after a long & tiring work week ☺️' 'you really think I have time/money for-'#heres a thought... maybe they assumed that their suggestion would just apply to people who were able to do it#like. your circumstances should be better and i genuinely hope they do soon. however comma#the person who crossed your dash or feed or 'algorithm' suggesting reasonable advice#(i.e. a routine change they've found helpful/a Somewhat Pricy Treat they like)#that you unfortunately cannot take is not your enemy#just. the internet being the internet ig#something something bean soup incident something something piss on the poor etc#mine
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People will be like "idc who you are, seriously block me if you do/support x" and then i block them and they react like this everytime
#gu6chan's musings#normally im not so pissed off about it but this fuckin dude; man#i admit i didn't like a lot about their philosophy on things and in retrospect it should've been a red flag#but they weren't like.... a BAD person. i just figured they had some issues to work through or something and just chatted when they wanted#then they follow me here and it's like 😭 do they know im a marxist. bc they were having WHOLE fits like 'if you're voting third party or#not voting at all you're just LARPing a revolution; you're going to be the downfall of this country get off my fucking blog if you aren't#voting blue' and i was like 'holy SHIT those are some strong opinions what the hell'#like ive seen people SETTLE for kamala??? but this was the first time ive seen anyone actively try and PROMOTE her like wtf#but anyways i shrug it off; think maybe they're just having a bad time till after election where they're having a whole meltdown like#'FUCK YOU THIRD PARTY VOTERS/PPL WHO DIDN'T VOTE; WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS WILL DO FOR PALESTINE' and im like#are you forgetting all the arab families who were completely crushed by fucking harris REFUSING to take a stance on palestine and refusing#to vote for her in turn??? those who scraped together just ENOUGH faith in the system to vote third party?????#THE FUCKING PLFP ITSELF SAYING 'BOYCOTT THE ELECTION'????? dude. they were blaming it ENTIRELY on#'leftists just wanting to show off moral superiority and wanting to larp a revolution' as opposed to like.... literally anything else and#im just#'damn okay. you get what you asked for ig' and blocked them lmao#they just now found out apparently bc they tried friend rqing on discord and I'm like#'hmmmm were you just not serious when you were saying that shit or did you not know what words actually mean'#anyways i hate that it turned out like this bc i thought they were at least interesting but talk shit get hit or whatever they say lmao
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man im so picky about artists that i can't find rlly ANY good transmasc or gay artists to follow on cohost bc it's either hardcore smut or like posted by a 17yo. where is the everyman. where are the rest of the guys like me.
#ive found.. a handful... that i like but im also really picky about art styles 🙇♂️#ig earned bias after spending like 20 years working on my style but i need something special#i only like to follow artists that inspire me and it takes a special person to do that so i find so very precious few
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felt like i was going crazy yesterday trying to set up a login system for this website 😭 it was like i was back in college again!
#im using supabase for auth and i was like someone pls...show me how to do this...with just vanilla js#every tutorial is with like react or next#im trying to do this site with just html css and js (and php)#so i can learn#and later if i wanna move things to a framework i wont be completely lost if something breaks!#but yea i pretty much settled on like using react for part of the website so i can get this login set up#i found some videos and articles so im pretty sure its possible#other options is to use the archived js example i finally found for supabase auth but#it scares me that its archived#fingers crossed next time i code this works#i think this has to be the hardest part of the coding#i wish i could do my own auth thing but thats super dangerous as a beginner#anyways if i get stuck again ill just try the archived js example#and if im still stuck...#idk find another auth thing to use ig#BF RALLY WILL HAPPEN IT WILL#if it doesnt it means i died or someshit lol#but yea im mainly just like ugh about react cause i seriously dont need all those libraries added rn#this sites not supposed to be that complicated imo like yea its dynamic but its like a neopets like thing#the partial react thing doesnt rely on installing a bunch of stuff (i think)#so maybe we r good#????#web development#webdev#coding#codebreakers#if someone has the magic video to hand hold me through these pls send lol
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If y’all had to take a guess, how long do you think it takes to travel from The Shire to Minas Tirith
#LOTR#lord of the rings#Gondor#minas tirith#the shire#perhaps specifically buckland#but ig just generally the shire works#I am writing something and I’ve tirelessly looked for answers but have found none
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once again im trying to find some obscure song by 2 lines of lyrics i remember from some 4 years ago
#tütensuppe#the group before mine at the dance school would often play it last before they finished#the course i went to was canceled because of covid (and i dont think they reestablished it bc the hobbyists dont generate enough money ig)#and the song is still haunting me :/#edit i checked their website and they got rid of the competitive course as well.. its partner dance only now#i really want to do something like that again but urgh finding something is such a chore#i also want to try climbing/bouldering but all the places ive found only offer all day tickets#if i want to go for an hour after work or whatever thats too expensive.....
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One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad
#snap chats#p sure i talked bout this jacket before but idc read my diary#sorry that every other middle aged man i see i say reminds me of my dad its a compliment#tbh love how i clowned on ichi for being on premium copium bout arakawa but highkey i woulda done the same bout my dad.. i get it ichi..#anyway :) i legally get to talk about my day with him now :)) HE SAID THE FUNNIEST SHIT UPON SEEING ME#HE SAID ‘oh wow we dress similar :)’ and keep in mind. he was wearing a latte brown coat with a black turtleneck and pants and shoes#meanwhile. i approach With Black Pants And Shoes Admittedly but then im in this goofy old ass jacket with a red scarf#and a crane-decorated dress shirt that i got two buttons undone on like DAAD you are senile. hes so funny#so fun my dad actually recognized this was the jacket he got me- it was one of the first things he bought for me after i told My Secret 🙈#also i finally asked how tall he was and i can’t believe my dad matches the criteria to be an rgg character he’s fuckin 6’1 like i thought#AH but today was really nice- i got to hang with my sis and her husband as well as my dad’s wife :)#it was awful tho cause the second my sis saw my dad’s outfit she’s just like ‘it’s so kdramacore’ AND SHES RIIIGHT 😭😭#we later found out dad’s wife loves kpop…. and she bought him his new clothes…. so we are no longer surprised….. AWFUL.#honestly i could write a drama based off my dad’s life i really could it has elements for it. i mean ig i kinda do that already dont i#i borrow. anyways. today was fun :) even if i almost lost my mind trying to take the train the first time#this train system was weird… it wa worth tho it was great seein popop again#yeah….. ugh i have to still drive home from the station. and hope my car is still there#i get very paranoid leaving my car alone so openly i dont like it…#anyways. bye bye :) i might nap til my stop or work on a fic i started#‘snap what happened to’ dont worry about it i need to look at something else or ill scream#ok bye 👋
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second october 13th in a row ive spent being stabbed by women (not fun)
#synnthposting#wanted to do something special for the 1 year anniversary of my surgery / getting the body i like from the body store but instead i needed#fucking dental work. fuck this earth. well apparently it was worse than it looked so ig its good we found it now and not when my tooth#disintegrated like what happened on the other side.#tmi#ig
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#i don't think tylwo is problematic#however i do think that ppl who want their stories to have purely good mcs who always make the right and correct decisions will not like it#to which...i don't...i guess i'm not catering to those ppl?#ig i never have. but...idk#seeing the tgcf fandom antis scares me i'm just like i sure hope they don't read my stories LMSDFLAKJSG;H#like i'm just a wittle guy i don't think they'll be over here haha#idk i'd like to think the group of ppl who continue to read my stories have good media literacy at least#i write for you people....#and myself#and i want my mcs to make dumb not completely mature decisions (i'm probably overthinking it bc of all the drama i've seen recently)#i shall continue my own way#oo i have been seeing comments on my stories recently that are like#something about....idk#i don't remember the exact wording#but it was giving ' your MCs can do no wrong and i like that'#and i was like ..........UM....NO... LIKE...THEY'VE KILLED PEOPLE LSAF;KSJDLGH#like i just dno't...go into it cuz i never found a relevant way to work it in#but even gui yin has k worded ppl so like...i dunno LMAO#guess you could argue he was fighting bad guys tho but like eh???
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Something about my therapist knowing nearly nothing about christianity but still knowing that Pentecostals are known as the Fucking Fanatic ones is so validating in a "shit's fucked" kinda way
#and when I say nothing I mean NOTHING#when we first started working he was like 'Jesus had to make some mistakes right? He had to do a sin or something?' to help me give myself#some slack about being helpful#and I had to explain that Jesus's whole thing is his lack of sin and mistakes#this was my first appointment back since I found out and I'm still Feeling#Idk why this pisses me off so much like I knew my family was full of fanatics#and I always said they had baptist methodist and pentecostal influences#but knowing they ID as pentecostal openly feels#Bad#like they're confident enough to say they're part of That Group out loud#and not just out loud but on paper#we've always been 'non-denominational' but we've all seen the memes#it's validating being like 'okay cool this is widely accepted as a cult I feel less bad saying I was raised in a cult'#ig it feels like they're proud of the beliefs they used to abuse me#n e ways Im back to 2 times a week lads there's a lot for me to unpack with my therapist#cause this was the surface level shit#ex christian#religious trauma
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today has been…weird to say the least
#val. what?#or just like. a lot ig#idk I found out the guy I like(d)(???) has a boyfriend#and I’m like upset more about like losing the chance of dating *someone*#idk#and work was just really long#my coworker and I were straight up losing it#but tbh I’m glad I was with my fav coworker today#blehhh I feel weird#it’s like#I don’t care enough to question my sexuality again#but there’s def something there that I haven’t really defined#basically I’m pretty sure I’m aro-spec#but idk I’m what ways#ughhh#I am done thinking about all of this
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ohhhhh my week. my month where did it go
#i keep having these huge ups and downs#for example last friday in first period gym class i dropped my phone in a sink full of water#and i thought it was fine until i wanted to plug it in fifth period (my teacher is chill and she lets me use her plug)#and it said something like water in the charging port and i freaked out#i spent the last two periods vigorously blowing air into my charging port#and my last class (which is my favorite) my favorite teacher wasn't there and i was so done after that#i did get my phone to work though thankfully#ok now that i'm done trauma dumping i can get to the good part#my mom found an insane deal and my house got netflix!!!#there are so many tv shows aaaaa#anyone sorry for talking so much i just wanted to talk about my week#jaye's originals ig
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