#I DONT KNOW I WAS IN THE MOOD TO POST MYSELF TODAY

[hammill-goes-fogwalking]

blueberries on supertramp vinyls wannabe supper in america moment

[shdwtouch]

my mood / energy kinda tanked. just feeling meh :/ it's either adrenaline crash or overstimulation, idk. so imma take my meds and try to sleep. nini all ♡

[todayisafridaynight]

grabbing the ichi plush by the neck and death gripping it like 'good things are to come its all going to be ok good things are to come' like its a lucky amulet

[yikes-ajax-thats-sad]

People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.

[phagodyke]

SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[ohdeerfully]

hi!! i absolutely love your writing, you write alastor so so well and i absolutely devoured everything you have posted... would you by any chance be open to writing alastor with a f!reader who has an eating disorder/anorexia? <3 it's a triggering topic so i totally understand if you'd rather not! 💖 i've just recently been stressed about feeling like i need to lose weight again despite already having lost quite a lot and it just feels. never enough, so i would much appreciate some comfort! thank you for sharing your writing with us! 💖

hi my love!! i know you requested this some time ago, and i hope youve been feeling better (,: i also struggle with this type of thing so i 100% dont mind writing about it, but just know that you are super beautiful and worth every sweet treat and meal you get!!! mwah mwah mwah i hope you like the story ^.^

Ma Moitié

Alastor x Reader (fluff/comfort)

TW: eating disorder!!! alastor is def OOC hes being a sweetie pie join my discord!

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You always had a poor relationship with your body and food, in life and in death. You went through periods of weight loss, gain, loss again—some seemingly never ending cycle that no amount of therapy has managed to halt.

Your mind was currently weighing the pros and cons of eating the slice of cake offered to you by Charlie. She was celebrating the arrival of a few new residents, the first to arrive since the last extermination. The news really helped the hotel garner some attention, that plus the fancy new renovation Lucifer himself helped with… needless to say, Charlie was thrilled. So, she threw a little party. You had been standing awkwardly near the doorway, trying to find an opportunity to slip away from the small party. But you doubted you could escape without your absence being noticed; there really weren't that many people here to begin with.

You had accepted the cake out of sheer politeness, but you now just held the plate loosely in your hands, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you thought. You’ve been feeling particularly… susceptible to the calories in food lately. You considered the fact that you hadn’t eaten much today—or, honestly, the whole week for that matter. It shouldn’t hurt to just have one slice of cake. Just this once.

But… still… 

You frowned down at the cake. Picking up the plastic fork, you took a tiny chunk from it and lifted it to your lips. Your lips quivered as the food touched your tongue, and you felt sick as you chewed. You managed to swallow after an unnecessarily long few seconds of chewing, and you continued to just stare down at your plate. You didn’t think you’d be able to handle another bite.

Niffty had seen the sickly expression on your face, and loudly started throwing questions at you. Were you sick? Did you hate the party? Why didn’t you like the cake she made? Her loud voice was growing in volume, and catching the attention of a few other demons in the room. You tried various ways to shush her, attempting to answer her questions politely, but you felt your heart rate pick up at the obviously growing number of eyes.

“I’m not incredibly fond of sweets myself,” You heard that radio-afflicted voice pipe up from behind. You couldn’t help but jump at the unexpected presence, but you turned your head with a light smile. Alastor was looking curiously down at Niffty and you. 

“Ah, yeah, the cake’s great, I just… don’t like dessert that much…” You lied. You actually really liked cake, but it had been a long time since you were actually able to enjoy it without feeling intensely guilty about it. The tiny demon made a fussy comment about how nobody appreciated her and all of her hard work, stomping away. Her mood didn’t last, though, immediately getting caught up in cleaning something you couldn’t even see. 

You turned your head to thank Alastor, but you saw his smile drop slightly as he looked at you. The demon bent at the waist to lean down, his mouth near your ear and his usually boisterous voice quieted to a whisper. “Is everything alright, mon coeur?”

You felt your face heat up, both at the words he spoke and the proximity. You and Alastor had been quietly ‘official’ for quite a while now, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to the small gestures of affection from the Radio Demon. It felt weird if you thought about it too long.

“I’m okay, just…” You weren’t sure how open you wanted to be about how you were feeling. Alastor knew about your poor body image and eating habits, but he truthfully never really knew how to go about comforting you. Plus, you felt as if your personal struggles were trivial to a literal Overlord of Hell. You didn’t want to bother him with your own shit.

“I’m fine,” You finally decided. You could tell Alastor knew you were lying, with that furrow of his eyebrows, but he stood up straight and didn’t push. You sighed and gently placed the plate of cake down on a small entryway table by the door you had been lurking near.

“I’ll get us out of here,” He declared with a wide smile, and he strode forward to where Charlie stood talking to the group of new guests. She knew Alastor was approaching due to the look of horror that slowly crossed the new demon’s faces. You couldn’t quite hear what they were saying, but it looked like she briefly scolded Alastor for being so damn intimidating for no reason.

They chatted for a moment, and you could hear the Radio Demon’s obnoxious laughter from across the room. He gestured to himself, then to you, to which Charlie looked in your direction. You shot her a small smile. She smiled back, nodded, and turned away to continue talking to the new residents—who all had been slowly inching away from Alastor. They looked incredibly relieved when he left the group.

He gave you a grin and wordlessly threaded his arm around yours, linking you at the elbow. You lifted your hand to give his upper arm an appreciative squeeze as you left the room. Your eyes lingered on the abandoned slice of cake as you walked away, feeling guilty in more ways than one.

Alastor had led you to your room, releasing your arm and leaning his body weight on his cane as he looked down at you. You glanced up at him, then back down, pursing your lips as you stared at anything else in the room.

“I hate when demons lie to me,” He said, eyes narrowed. Of course, you knew he wasn’t truly mad at you. Maybe frustrated. “What’s wrong.” It was more like a statement than a question. A demand.

You sat heavily down on the edge of your bed, fiddling with your fingers. 

“I don’t know, Al,” You muttered. You hated this. “I just… You know how I get sometimes.” It somehow felt so silly, telling him about this. 

Alastor had sat down next to you, his arm wrapped over your shoulder and a clawed hand rubbing up and down your forearm. You could tell his touch was light, awkward, unsure—but the gesture was appreciated nonetheless. While Alastor typically had no problem overstepping boundaries and shoving demons around purely to aggravate them, he obviously had no real idea how to be intimate and kind. But he tried for you.

He took his other hand and slipped it under your legs, swiftly lifting you and pulling you further up the bed. He leaned his body against the headboard, and dragged you over to lay your torso against his own.

“I don’t understand why you worry about all this, dear,” He mused, his fingers threading through your hair. His other hand graced past your stomach, which caused you to subconsciously flinch away. You felt his hand pause, but he didn’t mention it.

“I wish I didn’t have to,” You responded slowly, your cheek squished against his chest. “But I’ve dealt with this since I was alive. I feel like it’ll never get better.”

“Dearest, you have a whole eternity here,” He mused in response. He placed a finger under your chin and craned your head to meet his gaze. “You need to be strong to survive down here; to stay sane. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind.”

Of course Alastor was always thinking about strength and survival. He was an Overlord, after all. You didn’t respond to him, but you kept looking at him as he spoke. There was an odd look in his eyes as he talked.

“Plus,” He continues. His words were slow, and his mouth moved as if the words tasted unnatural on his tongue. This uncertainty that touched the Radio Demon’s voice was… rare, to say the least. “I want to see ma moitié happy. I am… incredibly devoted to you.”

Your ear pricked when you noticed the radio frequency in his voice completely dropped when he spoke the words. That look in his eyes—you finally recognized it as some odd sense of passion and endearment. An emotion that you could tell confused him, with the strain in his brow as he examined you. He meant the words he said, no matter how unnatural they felt leaving his mouth.

You rested your head back down on his chest. You knew this conversation wouldn’t “cure” you or anything, but you hoped that maybe you could think back on his words everytime your hands shook as you held a fork to your mouth. Of all demons in Hell, Alastor’s opinion was probably the most important to you, and you knew his devotion wouldn’t halt because of a few pounds; Alastor had to be deeply, deeply passionate about you to even let you lay on top of him like this.

You only hummed in response, and simply rested your head back against his chest. You hugged your arm tightly against him to try to convey that you appreciated his words, but you didn’t really know what to say.

“Would you join me for breakfast tomorrow?” Alastor asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “I know this wonderful place that I frequent for coffee…” 

You thought for a moment, again weighing the pros and cons; a habit that you struggled to drop when it came to meals. Your mind was buzzing with thoughts of what kind of food might be there, and if you should ration out the meals for the rest of the day. But, you felt the thoughts melt away when Alastor’s hand rubbed a comforting circle against your cheek, and then trailing down towards your shoulder in a light squeeze.

“Okay,” you finally said. It wouldn’t hurt to have a decent meal for once. You pulled yourself up onto your elbows again to look at Alastor. “Sounds awesome.”

His smile twisted up, his teeth peeking through a small gap in his lips. His head inched forward, but then paused, and you could tell his mind was racing with various thoughts. You waited for him to decide and, after a few moments, he closed the gap and lightly pressed his lips against yours. It was brief, as most intimate contact with him was, but you enjoyed it while it lasted.

“You will always be my only weakness,” Alastor admitted tenderly. “The most captivating demon in all of Hell.”

You couldn’t stop the shy smile that spread across your face at his words. You sputtered out some awkward response, to which he simply hummed and smiled at. He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the headboard, his fingers still playing with your hair gently.

You followed suit, resting your head against his chest and closing your own eyes. You didn’t even realize how tired you were, too caught up in the rare intimacy with Alastor. You let your worries of breakfast fade away, choosing to just enjoy the warmth of his body so close to yours.

[deedala]

🍃w e e k l y t a g w e d n e s d a y🍃

thank you to @energievie for writing the game this week and thanks for tagging me!! also thanks for tagging me for this and also for the pinterest game which im putting down below @lingy910y @gallapiech @suzy-queued @creepkinginc @thepupperino @blue-disco-lights @crossmydna @jrooc @heymacy @wehangout @mybrainismelted @xninetiestrendx @heymrspatel XOXOXO all of you 💖💖💖

Name: deanna

Age: noel-aged

Location: ooohiooo

And now...

What is your DJ name? i dunno, when i worked in college radio it was something about a fish... okay wait yes, lets go with DJ Fishy 🙃

If you were a genre of music, what would it be? whatever chappell roan's the rise and fall of a midwest princess is

What would you title your biography? Wellp

What are the first three things you'd do if you were invisible? i like this idea of sneaking onto expensive modes of transportation. i would do that assuming i had no where else to be and no responsibilities to see to 😆 and i would also rob rich people... and maybe i would go for walks int he middle of the night by myself and feel safe lol

What subject do you wish was taught in every school?  all the important money and personal finance basics that they used to teach but then stopped because it made it easier to prey on adults who didnt know how to manage their credit and debt or do their taxes correctly 😜

When was the last time you tried something for the first time and what was it?  uuhhh...the only thing i can think of right now is a lavender flavored matcha drink that was recommended a few months ago? ive gotten it again a few times (including today!) and its very good. im so happy i know what lavender tastes like now 😆

What is the most underrated city you have ever visited?  this is very hard...i dont even really know how to know how most cities are rated anyway?? i feel like all the cities ive been to and loved are pretty universally rated highly lol. uhhhhh...i dunno.. Heidelberg, Germany? Luxembourg City? one of those.

What day in your life would you like to relive? uuhh i dunno, im going with wedding day because i barely remember any of it, it was such a blur. i would be less responsible and have more fun 😅

If you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what would it be and why?  i really love sleeping and going to bed and falling asleep. but i hate waking up and i hate losing the time to unconsciousness. so if i could stay alive and not be tired and never sleep that would be so cool.

How long would you last in a zombie apocalypse?  i like to think i could last pretty long because i am a huge wimp and have great Nope It's Time To Go instincts. Also im good at climbing.

What would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable? uuhhh backwards time travel

If you could have any view out your office window, what would you choose? puget sound with the olympic mountain range in the distance

☀️pinterest tag game☀️

i was tagged to do this pinterest game where you search Fashion, Pantone, Mood, and Food and post the first pin from each of the search results. gotta be honest buddies i dont really use pinterest very often and when i do its for random photo references sooooo...

x x x x

i do not know what is happening with that outfit. that is not really a color i would pick but its fine? the mood is pretty but looks kind of melancholy. that last photo though??? oh my god let me climb into there i wanna sit in the cozy rustic kitchen and eat pastries pleaaaaassseeeee!!!!!!

and now to tag in more folks to play either or both of these games!! 💖💖 @michellemisfit @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @the-rat-wins @lee-ow @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @transmickey @burninface @loftec @metalheadmickey @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @vintagelacerosette @palepinkgoat @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos @sleepyfacetoughguy @sickness-health-all-that-shit @sleepyheadgallavich @rereadanon @mikhailoisbaby @mickeysgaymom @themarchg1rl @callivich @softmick @captainjowl @howlinchickhowl @spookygingerr @spoonfulstar @steorie @whatwouldmickeydo @burninface

[softness-and-shattering]

Saw/shared a post that mentioned 'youtube grammar' yesterday and I checked the tag and

Its basically the thing where people mishear words or phrases and then say it wrong. Some examples are

'manner of fact' instead of 'matter of fact', 'eck cetera' instead of 'et cetera' 'I could care less' v 'I couldn't care less'

And the poster blamed this on lowered education standards, lack of education, and basically people not learning grammar rules and not being able to break down what language a word is from to figure out pronounciation. Im not saying thats wrong, I dont know.

But I also have a running joke/recognition with friends who are bilingual or speak multiple languages, about how sounds get mixed up your head, and sometimes you'll even think of the right word but your muscle memory will write or type another. The example that started the conversation in earnest was me spelling the word 'pneumonic' instead of 'mnemonic'. (If you're going ooh this is his tumblr, hi! :D).

In a comment I was just writing, I wrote think instead of thing. I knew the word I wanted was thing, its the word I thought, its not the word I typed.

Also today I wrote 'mood' instead 'move'.

Its not a lack of education, or a misunderstanding of grammar, or mislearing a phrase. My fingers just mess it up sometimes, because somehow the link between thought and typing has to do with the sounds, not the root or the spelling or possibly even the language. Because, pneumonic.

I dont know if this holds the same with the spoken word, I dont know what those pathways are, and to begin with Im neither a linguist nor neurologist. Im just noticing patterns with myself and my friends.

If anyone does know facts or science about this, please do chime in!

[the-s1lly-corner]

I very much loved what you wrote for my ask makes me happy in my tummy.

Here's another ask hope it's not a lot for you how about a reader who's looks like those circus carousel horses, Being all pretty and sparkly with the TADC crew or just caine if you want light work!

♡Sleep well♡

U(•ㅅ•)U

TADC cast x reader who is a carousel horse!

that post sillyness (meltdown) slump is really hitting, but i feel bad for not answering requests yesterday... think i might answer one or two today, and perhaps write some stuff for myself in between doing the stuff i need to get done today apolocheese if this is a little shorter than usual </3 admin is still a lil WAAAAAAA and theyre on a time crunch (writing on computer today, but it needs to restart soon for an update)

CAINE:

oh i just know hes going to be going crazy over this, its not often that you get circus themed members around in the digital circus, so hes so hyped to have someone who can at least somewhat fit into that (admin must admit, they know next to nothing about carousels). probably makes themed IHA based around you and your whole thing; whatever that might mean... if youre shiny and/or reflective i just know hes going to pretend to check himself out in your reflections, does it usually to get a laugh out of you if youre having a bad day. gives you loads of new accessories and such

POMNI:

very shiny very pretty. i think pomni would like shiny things, but that might be self projection. kind of looks at you with that huge eyed look she got when she saw her door and/or her reflection in the pilot. looks but doesnt touch because she doesnt want to breach any boundaries. you can easily carry her, probably. shes tiny... though you will have to ask her and warn her before you just decide to pick her up since i dont think she would be cool with you just treating her like some house cat (snorts). subconsciously messes with your hair/mane when you two are hugging/snuggling each other

RAGATHA:

makes her own accessories to give to you. she thinks youre really pretty! very well crafted stuff, me thinks. offers to do your hair and tail (if you have one) every now and then! perhaps even offers to polish you up in hard to reach spots such as your back! generally very nice and lets you know that she thinks youre pretty... bonus if you have some sort of music ambience that plays around you most of the time that tends to reflect your mood, she ends up using that as a little indicator of how youre feeling.... perhaps you two slow dance together to one of your songs.... ponders

JAX:

originally i was going to say he jokes about wanting to ride you but then i realized how that sounded and i am not about that life (i say as i still put it in the post because it aint that serious) but you know, because youre a horse? but also while i was writing caines part, i mention that he checks his reflection if youre... well reflective... i feel like jax would do the same thing, but be more obnoxious about it... like im talking hes fully leaning into it, cleaning the gaps in between his teeth, slicking his ears back. the works, you know? probably snags your ribbons and such every now and then so youre forced to talk to him, he thinks its funny even if its kind of a dick move, but its.. jax, are we really surprised?

KINGER:

similar to pomni i can kind of see kinger also liking shiny stuff but i think this time its just the admin self projecting. probably collects little trinkets he finds that remind him of you and gifts them to you. pretty combs, ribbons, rocks, ect. i think its sweet, basically saying "hey, i thought about you!" you know? sometimes you let him stroke your hair when hes stressed out, works like a charm. revisiting the musical ambience idea, you tend to play the general music that plays during carousel rides, but every now and then it turns into a softer and calmer tune, and that does wonders for kinger after a long and hard day... shrugs

ZOOBLE:

as mean as it sounds you are kind of the opposite of the things like find interest in, since admin hcs that zooble is into the macabre and spooky, you know? but thats not to say that they dont like you! quite the contrary, actually! they have an understanding that you didnt choose this body.. thinks... ooo imagine how funny it would be if youre this really pretty horse with pretty music but you share the same interests as them... i dont now i always liked that trope. cute/innocent character being into scary stuff, intimidating/unconventionally cute character being into sweet and cute stuff.. thinks... sometimes helps you style yourself if youre interested in a new look

GANGLE:

also thinks youre very pretty! probably has made drawings of you and gifted them to you! sometimes redoes the ribbons you wear in your hair and as accessories. very good at making bows and such! might even sometimes help you with your makeup, if you wear any + if its able to be taken off... since, you know... digital bodies and stuff... hmm.. not many thoughts for gangle, at least not any unique ones that havent been said already in general/in this post... apologies gangle nation admin just struggles to write her

[qpenpals]

First of all, support Shubble and support all victims (which is a statement that while said a lot, seems not be followed as frequently, however i hope those who read this abide by it)

Second, I don’t support wilbur soot/william gold, and I don’t think that anyone should after this.

Third, while this situation is not about me, i have feelings and opinions about it that i would like to share, but even if you don’t read anymore,

Please watch shelby’s vod, and maybe try checking her content out, because while i don’t frequently watch her, i enjoy her streams and maybe you will too! her new hardcore series sounds great :)

This is quite long, but honestly this is kind of just for me to collect my thoughts, however if you read to the end thank you<3 im touched :)

ALSO ABUSE TRIGGER WARNING

Alright, so I have loved wilbur soot’s content for a very long time, 4 years or so. I watched the streams and listened to his music from the start. His content is entwined with many of my fond memories.

Earlier today, I had a breakdown over this whole situation, because, as I’ve been quite busy with school, my job, and other assorted things in my life, I found out about this morning. I had woken from a nightmare about my previous abuser. Who i will be talking about a lot more of as they really impacted my views on this situation.

However this nightmare had left me in a fragile mood, my girlfriend was still sleeping and i didn’t want to wake her, so to comfort myself i went to read one of my bookmarked fanfictions, this fanfiction, while i dont remember the title is one that i’ve found comforting for a very long time, so much so that when im stressed my partner has it saved to send to me so i can calm down.

It was a fanfiction about quackity and tubbo, wilbur soot was mentioned maybe 5 times, and the author had deleted it.

This caused me to try and find out why, so i went to their page and they had posted a temporary fic explaining what had been going on.

My first reaction had been disbelief, I then went to research everything. It was a lot to process.

I watched shelby’s vod. Before this i had mainly been disconnected from what i had seen, taking it it but not with any of my own feelings or thoughts really, just processing.

Shelby’s situation hits really hard for me because a lot of it mirrors my own abusive relationship of a few years ago. The wording Wilbur used against her, sounds like what my old partner would use against me. His actions, such as her having to clean and taking care of food, and amenities, were things i had to experience.

Abuse TW:

My old partner would physically abuse me through biting as well, he would claim that he just liked knowing i was his, and yet, like shubble, if i ever used our safe word, which happened so fucking often, he either wouldn’t listen, bite down harder on my neck, or fucking smile at me before letting go.

This got to the point that multiple times he had drawn blood from my neck, that i still have scars from today. And as i watch Shubble talk about her story which is ever so close to mine, I wonder that if I had watched this before, maybe i wouldn’t have stayed in that relationship.

I proceeded to stay in this relationship for 2 years before i realized how much harm he was doing to me, because i truly believed he loved me, because of all the lovebombing he would do.

End of Abuse TW:

And yet i felt pain aside from sympathy or memories, when learning of this, as the content Wilbur had put out had actually helped me out of this relationship, his music was pretty much all i listened to the months of healing after i got out and it helped, the art is good, and yet the author is one i cannot respect nor support in anyway now that i am aware.

i’d suggest watching this tiktok by @lasmanburg that really explains my thoughts and feelings on this

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL1tb5Wg/

Right back to the content. I don’t believe that we should throw it all away, i don’t think that people should be deleting their art, fanfiction, or anything based on Wilbur. Because in the end it’s all art that we have created and interpreted and though the man who inspired it is horrible, all that has been made does not reflect his actions, but instead love and creativity from vast multifaceted community.

One can continue their writing and work because they are the ones creating it, not him, and besides most interpretations of him stray quite far from the source anyways

I think that one can continue to engage in his content as long as one does not directly support him, such as pirating his music, but personally at least right now listening to his music which brought me so much comfort-makes me feel sick. So think i’ll be taking a step back.

I don’t really know how to end this, i just needed to get my thoughts out honestly. I have therapy in an hour. I hope all of you who’ve made it to the end have a wonderful day and drink some water. I wish shelby well, and i’m glad she has been able to share this situation. And with that, I must now leave :)

[marumarielle]

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐃𝐑 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 (𝟎𝟎𝟐)

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ another one after abandoning my schoolworks LMAOOOO. ๋࣭ ⭑⚝ this one is more family centered (DR STRANGEEEEEEEE!!!) because i miss my dad

tw: none rlly, just a moody stephen strange lols

mcu dr moodboard

dr strange is my father figure (HE NEEDS MORE LOVE FRFR)

He used to love to make letters for people he loves but after the accident he stopped making them because he's insecure lf his handwriting

But i tell him to do it anyway because it's a rare thing to receive these days

Then i got a letter the next day :DDDDDD

Stephen and I know each other so well he gets that parent sense.

Yknow, the type of parent sense where his gut just gives him a feeling of "Oh, she feels down today. I'll make her something to make her feel better"

also applies to danger btw (we'll get to that in another post 😉)

This man writes me letters with encouraging and reassuring words whenever i feel down but he'll usually slide them beneath my door because i tend to stay in my room after a bad day😭😭😭

He usually starts it off with a "I've felt something heavy on my chest for a while. Did something happen, sweetheart? Are you sleeping well?" AND IABDUSBSJWBDHW ILYSM YOU DONT EVEN KNOOWWWWWWW

idc about what anyone says, STEPHEN IS A MASTER BAKER AND COOK

this man is literally the eldest in his family and had 2 younger siblings ofc he had to take care of them

(p.s. the only reason y he stopped baking and cooking was because of his tremors)

I have long hair in my DR and so he whenever he's outside and sees a hair accessory shop, he'll come home with a paper bag full of hair pins, clips, clams, hair ties, etc.

He then says it would be a waste if i didn't use any of them so he'll style my hair himself (its his excuse for showing affection)

oh and THIS MAN HAS STYLEEE

he won't hesitate to tell me if my clothes don't match and then he proceeds to teach me how to style my clothes correctly

Doesn't let me fight enemies

Would literally step between me and an enemy with ZERO HESITATION (dw guys i scripted he doesn't die, HES MY DAD I WONT LET THAT HAPPEN DUHHH)

I would quietly steal his phone when he's not looking and take a funny selfie of myself (the one angle where the camera's near your forehead)

LMAO HE USED ONE OF THE PICS AS A LOCKSCREEN?????? okay dude, whatever makes you happy ig

He's also v strict tho

So. if im late he trains with this sour mood (he hates his time being wasted)

can sometimes be a bit harsh but v apologetic afterwards

he proceeds to cook something up for me as a sorry

that's all for now. i made this at like 1 AM so its v messy. TY FOR READINGGG!

[silenthillmutual]

hi! i saw your post on ocd and it home bc for a few months now i've been asking myself if i have it. i definitely have intrusive thoughts, maybe compulsions, i think all closer to moral ocd? however i absolutely don't have the means and time to seek a diagnosis or therapy rn so i was wondering: do you have tips or like, little things that make dealing with intrusive thoughts a bit easier?

hiya!

that's totally understandable, sometimes it simply isn't possible to go through all that - i didn't start getting treated until i was in my late 20s, so i spent a lot of time just trying to navigate life without therapy or meds.

recognizing i'm dealing with an intrusive thought and that it isn't a "regular" thought helps me still, because some of mine sneak up on me, or i'll think they're justified, or i'll think they're related to something else, like my mood disorder. even when i'm going through a period where i'm having a lot of intrusive thoughts, i can recognize that the thought itself is an outlier (and should not be counted). this makes dealing with it easier for me.

the actual factual real advice i get in therapy for dealing with intrusive thoughts is called radical acceptance, and with that comes acknowledging what you are experiencing, acknowledging your lack of control, and accepting it. it also means not fighting your intrusive thoughts, but sitting with them. allowing them to happen. and then moving on. tbh, it can be really difficult to do this, and really frightening when you first start out. it feels natural to flinch. but i think that even practicing it out on intrusive thoughts that don't feel as bad or as big to you can help.

something i did for a long while was writing down my intrusive thoughts on a slip of paper, and then shredding the paper as a way of getting the thought out and then letting go of it

ymmv on how workable this is, but keeping (reasonably!!!) busy can help. i tried to do way too much in college (do not take 8+ classes a semester that is wayyyyy overdoing it and you will burn yourself out) but it was also probably the most sociable i've ever been. which hopefully leads to more support when it's especially bad.

if there's anyone you feel safe enough to talk about it to, that can also really help. espeically if they a) have it themselves, or b) know about it/are willing to learn. it's good if there's someone irl, but even having someone online who can... help ground you, if that makes sense. my buddy elie will sometimes say "bro that is your ocd talking", and that can calm the righteous fury/crushing anxiety/whatever it is today by realizing that it is 1) not that serious and/or 2) incredibly unlikely to happen. (i find this works best w my moral ocd symptoms & my 'what-ifs')

my last big one was just Getting Silly With It. for a long while i was responding to my intrusive thoughts by treating them like a lucid dream and changing the situation to something completely absurd. sometimes i'd respond to it by thinking 'and thats my pitch for a horror novel!' at the end of the thought. then for a while i'd say 'okay gideon' bc giving it a name and a face made it easier to see it as like. a problem i could at least look at. i can't say these are necessarily the best coping skills, i've never really told my therapist abt these methods, but i still do them on reflex sometimes when i think 'i dont have time to sit here and deal with this thought'.

journaling in general also helps esp if you can identify stressors in your life that might be making it worse.

wishin you luck!

[arsenicflame]

anyway i got approximately 3 posts of introspections about myself to bother you with im so sorry

i think the lighthearted comments about a mood swing disorder are not so ha ha anymore i think theres genuinely something going on in my brain thats never going to be fixed. like i dont want to come out here and say i have some kind of manic depression but god do i feel like im being taken along for a ride. yesterday i felt like doing anything but laying in bed thinking about how awful everything is was impossible and today im planning projects and putting 50 posts in my queue and maybe vibrating out of my skin a little bit. i dont want to coopt mental illnesses i havent done enough research on but something is wrong. something is seriously wrong and itll never be fixed. i feel out of control of my own emotional state and i dont even really like feeling so Up like this. i would say its better than the low lows but i feel like people are more empathetic to that. i feel like when im like this is when im going to make irreparable messes of things. and either way i know what follows from this is a deep downswing into really bad depression. we can only hope for apathy.

[luvpooks]

꧁༺ 𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓫𝓸𝓸 𝔁 𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 ༻꧂

GᖇOᑕEᖇY TᖇIᑭ:0

summary: in which the house runs out of food and m/n and ranboo take it upon theirselves to restock.

warnings: he/him pronouns!! /// mentions sextoys (AS A FUCKING JOKE I PROMISE) /// kms joke /// i think that's all!!

"fuck..." m/n muttered. to his dismay there was...no fucking food.

"rannnn!" m/n called out to his lovely amazingly tall boyfriend.

"yessss?" ranboo said as they walked into the kitchen.

m/n looked deep into ranboos eyes and said with the straightest face he could muster.

"there is no fucking food."

"oh..." ranboo responded.

"ran...do you know what this means!" m/n continued.

"oh god...not today i cant do it..." ranboo pleaded to the higher beings of the world.

"GROCERY TRIP!!!" m/n exclaimed.

m/n loved shopping especially walmart. he had no reason except that he loved to take photos of the most randomest things he could find.

(he usually made ranboo take pictures of him with the fucking sextoys)

he said that it was #relatable and #thefunniestthingintheworld

"god please spare me-" ranboo pleaded.

m/n grabbed ranboos arm and shook him around.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!! FUNNY PICTURES!" m/n exclaimed once more.

ranboo was truly just sulking as m/n took hours of their time there just taking photos of random ass shit.

"let's go, let's go, let's go!" m/n said excitedly.

ranboo simply sighed and he finally accepted his fate and replied.

"...let me get ready..."

m/n was practically a fucking ball of sunshine currently, nothing could ruin his mood.

after ranboo got ready- which to m/n felt "like fucking forever"- they were off to the most wonderful place in all the lands of the united kingdom... WALMART!

m/n forced ranboo into his car- which was a matte black dodge challenger because yes.

m/n was practically bouncing in his seat as he got his seatbelt on.

"because i'm so nice ran- you can choose the music!" m/n said.

ranboo brightened up a little with that sentence.

"gladly!"

god m/n fucking regretted that decision.

ranboo made them listen to the most depressing shit and then would switch to that damn peaches song by jack black.

"i'm actually gonna kill myself- this is it, this is my 13th reason." m/n grimaced.

"aww don't do that m/n that'll kill you!" ranboo joked.

"i'm going to fucking leave you in the walmart parking lot and let you get stolen into a white van that said leon kennedy was inside." m/n monologued.

"first off: i'm way to tall to be the target of a kidnapping. second off: i would go into a white van WILLINGLY if it said leon kennedy was inside." ranboo argued.

"you know what... i dont even blame you- bro is so fucking fine." m/n drooled.

finally after a good 15 minutes they arrived to walmart.

ranboo was preparing himself for this torturous journey. while m/n on the other hand was thinking about all the places he would go to take photos of.

to say the least... he was excited.

once that got out the car m/n immediately intertwined their fingers and dragged ranboo to the entrance of the store.

then m/n had the greatest idea to ever fucking exist.

"ran- ran- ran- im gonna get one of the handicapped carts."

"m/n please don't what if you just took away an elderly woman's only way to get around here." ranboo worried.

i reached my hands to lay on ranboos shoulders and spoke.

"this is far more- more important than an elderly woman possibly falling and fucking dying."

m/n instantly unplugged the cart and sat on it and he began rolling quite slowly.

"ran- you need to experience this... it's so fun please!" m/n begged.

m/n i love you- but hell no my morals can't do it." ranboo explained.

m/n gasped.

"this is a betrayal..."

m/n began dramatically tearing up as he rolled his way to the first place they had to go.

to m/n unbeknownst ranboo had taken a photo of him rolling around in the cart and posted it on twitters captioning it as such: they see him rolling- they hating!

they decided to go to the food isles first as they were going to be responsible adults for once in their lives.

they found the food that needed quite easily but then m/n found his first victim of his random photo terror.

the mr beast cookies.

"ranboo think about the clout we will get! and the funny's PLEASE RAN!" m/n begged.

"ok okok fine.." ranboo took out his phone and waited for m/n to get into position.

m/n opted for the best pose of the century.

the crab as he liked to call it.

you see m/n was incredibly flexible- so he was able to do very odd poses as is his spine was just nonexistent.

the only way to explain this pose is m/n spreads his legs out about shoulder length wide and he forces his spine to take his head to the floor as he held the bag next to his face.

"ranboo it's time! clout time!" m/n exclaimed.

ranboo sighed and took the photo.

m/n asked quite nicely for once in his life if he could caption it though he didn't exactly take no as a answer.

"can i caption it- k thanks"

m/n took the phone out of ranboos hands and caption the photo

'the crabs got out and they want clout'

m/n showed his masterpeice to ranboo and he let out a loud laugh.

"GOD, i forgot how funny you can be!"

"i know right!" m/n replied.

finally they were finished in the food isle but m/n had to make one more stop.

"ranboo... it's time." m/n said with upmost glory.

"please god no m/n please spare me from going there.." ranboo begged.

"i'm sorry my child... but it has to be done." m/n said.

they walk- well rolled thanks to m/n forcing ranboo to sit in his lap to roll along with him-to the area ranboo dreaded most- while m/n loved the most due to the opportunities.

the health and beauty isle.

to explain most walmarts have a place that people can go to to search for their- well sexual desires. in short their are sex toys there.

once they arrived to the area m/n couldn't help but grin.

"ahhh, my beloved area." m/n grinned.

m/n decided to make the trip quite to spare ranboo the embarrassment.

m/n slammed himself onto the glass that covered the lewd toys.

"take the picture just like this ran!" m/n smiled.

ran signed once more and took the photo and m/n once again took his phone and captioned the photo as a such

'i didnt remember toy story looking like this!'

m/n dramatically teared up as he said,

"it's beautiful ran- thank you.."

ranboo grabbed m/n hand and dragged him the the car and sat him down onto the seat and made him go.

"so forceful!- at least take me to dinner first!" m/n joked.

"shut up.." ranboo grumbled as they walked beside m/n.

they finally reached the self checkout center and bought their items.

it totaling out to be a whopping £112.43.

(which m/n paid for as he never let ranboo pay for anything)

m/n returned the cart and plugged it back up as he is a decent human being and they walked out back to the car.

once they both finally packed everything up they got into the car preparing to venture back to their shared home.

"i say that was a successful trip!" m/n exclaimed proudly.

ranboo just smiled and said,

"yeah, it was kinda fun..."

<end>:D



[werebutch]

Haiii teddy ^__^ how is it going =3 !!! I watched the solar eclipse here is my picsss

Ok kind of buttcheeks but u get the idea. We're gonna be moving soon (again) but the house will probably be in me and my best friends names :D because legal stuff and credit...heh. but still a house with my name on it sounds really nice. And pets!! Nobody telling us what we can and can't do. Hopefully it works out that way.

How are the big things in yr life going ^_^ I hope it is well....!!! I also love the bear shirt when I was snooping I think it's su cute LOL

Bex this is like the best news ever making me smile behind my screen right now. ILYSM u deserve this and so much more. So happy for you thats awesome and i hope everything works out like it should.. <3333

i just got back from watching the eclipse at my school! I didnt get any pictures but it was a huge gathering with food and music and stuff it was very nice. Kids and dogs running around too very cute. Afterwards my sisters friend who knows practically everyone in the entire world introduced us to two brony girls (pegasisters..LMFAOOO) and got their insta and talked for a while. So im very happy with that cause they’re really nice. And even if its just for today im so glad i got to talk to a bunch of people 😸 then a bunch of us went to get smoothies..! Today is making me feel like a real person again i wont lie. LMFAOOO <3

Not too many big things going on.. Lately my life has been pretty boring i wont lie im just very exhausted a lot of the time. Now that its a little warmer and sunny these days though im more motivated to go outside to my usual spots and engage in my outside hobbies. I still feel very anxious lately about genuinely every little thing but im getting there and i know it’ll pass ^__^ on Saturday we went to a (new!!!) huge antique store (need to take u there…very fun stuff..) and i spent a lot of money.. i figured i usually buy nothing anywhere so id treat myself. MY BEAR SHIRT.. ill post my haul when i get home.. IT WAS A LOT OF FUN!!!! After we went to an Indian buffet it was very good i tried goat for the first time. ^__^ and they had mango ice cream… ummy..<3

I’m so excited for the concert.. i have to do my homework though i dont know too many hail the sun songs.. im in a mood right now im just like…ahhhh……^__^ you mentioned pets.. if you could get a pet right now what would it be ?! I’m curious

[fadeintoyou1993]

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

this is so cute i'll do all of them bc i'm in a good mood today :)

5 things i love about myself

i love how resilient i am :) i used to think i wasn't and i just was weak as hell and everything was too hard but by learning my limitations & understanding how the things i've been through over the years (especially growing up In My Context undiagnosed w several mental disorders) have affected me & made me into who i am today and i love that even if things get pretty bad now, i know i'll get through it somehow

i love my sense of humor. i really think i'm so funny and i'm not sorry everytime i make someone laugh i feel like i've won a million dollars

i love how passionate i am about things because whenever it gets too hard to keep going or even seeing a reason to, things i love and care about can take me out of that mindspace pretty quickly

i love my tattoos! even the smallest ones have special meanings to me and i grew up obsessed w them and wanting to have them for so long and i think it's so awesome that I just. Get to have them now. awesome

i think i'm a pretty patient/understanding/forgiving person? not w myself (altho i'm working on it so hard and it kinda shows by the first item) but i think that i'm a good friend/person that people can count to and feel comfortable to be themselves around me. sometimes it's to my own detriment (i'm also working on it but codependency is so hard) but idk i like that like, i'm not good at socialization offline due to autism, but within this little community i have built for myself over the years i have known and kept up friendships with people from different places/contexts/lives and i just. really love having friends lmao i guess that's two things? but well here u go

4 things i'm excited about

i'll have a yellowjackets watchparty sleepover w my friends on saturday!!! i'm excited abt that :)

i get the stitches off my mouth on friday HOPEFULLY so i'm also excited to be able to like. Open my mouth without feeling like i'm going to die

i'm excited to get my tracy chapman vinyl! my cousin went on a trip to são paulo w her bf last week and she said she found an awesome used record store that she wants to take me too sometime and she remembered i mentioned i was looking for this one when we were talking about the records i want ♡ i should get it sometime next week I think!!!

i'm excited to get my updated assessment results this month 😭 i miss being medicated so fucking bad my god... BUT SOON!!!!!

3 people i care about & why

@scre6m -> well dee is my bestest friend in the whole world like i dont know how we have spent most of our lives not knowing each other & icb we only know each other for lile 4 years. they r literally like a brother / sister / soulmate i've never had anyone in my life i can be so vulnerable with & know that they feel the same way like genuinely i've learned a lot abt myself / friendship / love / life in general by having a friend like him & i literally cannot imagine not having them in my life i'd probably die fr fr. dee has helped me understand i'm allowed to be myself unapologetically & i literally cannot even explain how much he means to me. whenever we have lil misunderstandings & spend like 3 hours without talking bc we r both stubborn n dumb (affectionate) its literally like in bottoms 2023 when josie and pj fight and complicated by avril lavigne is on and josie is kicking cans (dee) and pj is being a stupid bitch eating canned food on the stairs (me) literally just like that. i cannot imagine life not being tweedle bru to their tweedle dee frfr. anyways yea dee is my person 🫂 i hope in like 30 years we live in a big weed farm like in popstar: never stop never stopping

@blackfairyemoji -> tami is literally like a little sister to me like i love showing her things & love learning abt the things she cares about & i'm always like rooting so much for her. she is so incredibly talented and smart and one of the funniest people on EARTH like i'll remember some shit she said while i'm doing something and i'll just start laughingjdkdkdk she is so creative & kind & such a beautiful person inside and out and i cannot wait to see her do big things bc i know she will!! trust n believe!! thats my lil sister genuinely. and the fact she is literally the exact same age as my brother makes it all so much real frfr. my dream is to be present for the first time she gets high and listens to music

@nightmarebees -> MY WHITE DAD JACKIE BEAR.... literally love jackie so much like from the moment i saw her blog back in like 2018? or 2019? im bad w numbers but i rmr reading her description and she literally had all of my very specific niche interests listed and i was like. Dude what. we have got to become friends. and we DID!! jackie is such a kind, understanding, funny, loving person and quite literally the smartest person i know. like she knows so much whenever i have a question about something i'm like hey dad what the fuck is____ and she's like thank you for asking, and it's incredible. i love talking to her about media & literature and getting really fucking meta about things bc jackie understands and helps me organize my thoughts w her big historian brain. she's truly one of the best people i know! and i cannot wait to try her baking 🥺