#i reckon thats enough tags

[softness-and-shattering]

Saw/shared a post that mentioned 'youtube grammar' yesterday and I checked the tag and

Its basically the thing where people mishear words or phrases and then say it wrong. Some examples are

'manner of fact' instead of 'matter of fact', 'eck cetera' instead of 'et cetera' 'I could care less' v 'I couldn't care less'

And the poster blamed this on lowered education standards, lack of education, and basically people not learning grammar rules and not being able to break down what language a word is from to figure out pronounciation. Im not saying thats wrong, I dont know.

But I also have a running joke/recognition with friends who are bilingual or speak multiple languages, about how sounds get mixed up your head, and sometimes you'll even think of the right word but your muscle memory will write or type another. The example that started the conversation in earnest was me spelling the word 'pneumonic' instead of 'mnemonic'. (If you're going ooh this is his tumblr, hi! :D).

In a comment I was just writing, I wrote think instead of thing. I knew the word I wanted was thing, its the word I thought, its not the word I typed.

Also today I wrote 'mood' instead 'move'.

Its not a lack of education, or a misunderstanding of grammar, or mislearing a phrase. My fingers just mess it up sometimes, because somehow the link between thought and typing has to do with the sounds, not the root or the spelling or possibly even the language. Because, pneumonic.

I dont know if this holds the same with the spoken word, I dont know what those pathways are, and to begin with Im neither a linguist nor neurologist. Im just noticing patterns with myself and my friends.

If anyone does know facts or science about this, please do chime in!

[buqbite]

part 1 (on VA and being better than humans)

part 2 (on welt and being just a human)

[mo-ok]

10 Seasons, 80 Heroes /// Here's the Green and Black Ones

[thepencilsnameissteve]

Don't mind me just a bit of mindless self promo

[waywardsalt]

maybe it would be better if i. let myself write the bellum x linebeck fic while i finish up the ganonbeck one. there’s not much point in restricting what i write esp if i’m inspired

[thatdeadaquarius]

"Oh my gosh do you sound like a sim to them??"

Me trying to place myself in their shoes:

"Why the fuck do I sound like a villager in Animal Crossing-- ARE THEY HEARING ANIMALESE WHEN I SPEAK?!"

(A.k.a I saw the previous ask and thought wait a minute. Two different worlds. Languages so similar but so different....... We're basically speaking animalese in another game/world lmfao)

(Bonus: Creator!Reader knows this and takes full advantage as their payback. Traveller magically understands and speaks back causing further pyschic confusion. Pretty sure soke brains have been melted among linguistic students in Sumeru)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM MY BELOVED IM SO LATE TO ATTEND TO YOU!! :'(

It has been a minute and yet, you remain my love!! Thank you for your patience, have a little scenario as my thanks for that and submitting the cool idea <3

Me @ you: ♥ ( ॢᵕ n ᵕ (꒡ᵋ ꒡ღ) mwah! /p

this gif is just really cute thats why its here.

also i have very little to add so its short but only bc im ✨uncreative✨ atm and ur ask alone is funny enough lmao, so once again, a scenario bc vine booms just a genius all on their own ✨️

◇

😭so you mean 😭 as revenge 😭 for this awful deed 😭 done to your speech 😭 you just start EMBRACING IT 😭😭😭PLEAASEEE-

PLEASE the traveler understands it!! 💀

Also if anyone reads this im so sorry ive flooded the sagau tag with language shenanigans LMAO

◇

Ever since you realized that the entirety of Teyvat sounds like Sims to you, (and the subsequent awful reckoning that you sound the same to them 😭) 

You have finally mentally recovered enough courage, and desperately shoved any embarrassment deep into your soul, to try and think of what to do about it

♤

You quickly found that people had 3 types of reactions to your speech,

 

1. They try to understand the nonsense like you trying to understand their Simlish, it really doesnt work, you wish you could tell them to give up and just gesture at you instead:

(ALHAITHAM he keeps trying then giving up then trying again lol, Diluc, ZHONGLI, Sara, Albedo, Candace, Dehya she thinks she’s gonna get it THIS time she swears-, Eula, Gorou, GANYU she feels bad lmao, Jean, AYAKA, keqing, kuki, Nahida, ningguang, AETHER, Thoma, xinyan, XIAO)

◇

2. They act like you when you hear animal crossing characters speak 💀 you can see the “omg so cute” sparkle in their eyes:

(KAZUHA, kokomi, barbara, KAEYA, ZHONGLI again lol he tries to hide it but you can see the tiny smile everytime you walk over and start ranting at him bc ur bored, Faruzan, GOROU, AYATO, YAE MIKO, keqing, LISA, mika, mona, KLEE literally loves you and you can tell shes always trying to get you to say something lol, Ei (archon), Rosaria she always SMIRKS and ur just- 😳, CHILDE the little shit giggles at ur misery, LUMINE AND AETHER U CANT TRUST EITHER OF THEM- , THOMA, SCARAMOUCHE BUT HE’D NEVER ADMIT IT BUT HE ALWAYS IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO HIDE A TINY SMILE AND GOES A LITTLE PINK-!! SAME FOR XIAO LMAO)

◇

3. You know that tiktok audio thats like Isabella from Animal Crossing singing, and then someone’s like “uh-huh! YEAH! OKAY!!” yeah like that, but to you LMAO

(ITTO, Bennett, KAVEH, heizou, VENTI, Nilou she like nods after everything you say and makes sure you’re treated well in every conversation aw, qiqi, KLEE, Raiden (puppet) + Ei (archon), SHENHE no explanation needed, CYNO too, LUMINE, YELAN, yoimiya, yunjin)

♧

Alright i got tired sorry not everybody’s there lol^

So no matter the reaction, they all are a little bummed nobody can get you, 

…but then of. Fucking. Course. 

LUMINE/AETHER as ALWAYS get SPECIAL TREATMENT 

(there’s not a single person throughout all the nations, the archons, the allogenes, doesnt matter, who hasn’t felt a LITTLE pang of envy for this- bc as cute as you sound, goddamit they USED to understand you when you weren’t physically here, before you overcame the Universal Barrier AKA the computer screen lol)

AND THEY GET TO UNDERSTAND YOU.

The Sumeru linguistics department is grinding their teeth, Alhaitham straight up glares every time they translate for you lmao, Zhongli’s eye twitches at least once everytime they do so, Kazuha is literally trying to bribe them with cool places he’s seen that the traveler hasn’t so they’ll share the secret of how to understand you, Ningguang gets 10x chillier when they’re helping convos w/ you, Ei looks like she’s fucking pouting-

☆

Aether is just like 🤨?? For what?? I’m helping???

So confused he never gets what’s going on lol

✨

Lumine, on the other hand, is FULLY aware and smirks every time she’s so smug about it LMAO 

^ the embodiment of the cat surrounded by knives meme ^

☆

Ahhhh my exhibition is April 6th u guys!

May I finally rest in peace when that day comes 🪦

Cant wait to graduate and just have a regular job and not academia + deadlines 😭😫

Hope you guys have had a nice week or two!

Look out for more posts after the 6th :>

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

Short one but hope its fun my beloved!! :)

[ghoulsbeard]

2025 fic TBR tag from @elfroot-and-laurels :) very fun idea thank you Laurie… the idea is you pick nine (or however many you want) fics that you plan to read this year, and post screenshots of their titles.

( I did summaries for each fic bc of who i am as a person but thats not at all required... )

dont have as many stories bookmarked for later as i usually do, this was kind of tough... to any and all wandering writers, please send a link to your fic in the comments, I’d love to read it :]

passing the tag to @dandenbo @isayashai @aphota @nuwanders @dreadfutures @waterbearable @lichposting @jiubilant @lemon-embalmer @spectrumcore @nine-blades @ehlnofay if you are interested, no pressure, & to anyone who’d like to grab the tag

ok i have seven to talk about…

currently reading ghostwise’s matacuervos - one of the best DA fics i have ever had the honor & pleasure to read. what i enjoy about good DA fics is they are head and shoulders better than the canon while utilizing what makes the canon enjoyable, and this fic is a perfect example. masterful worldbuilding especially for Antiva and the Antivan Dalish, a deeper view of the people and places within Zev’s past, Crow politics, local unions, resonant & poetic prose, fantastic character writing for an ensemble cast— and i must shoutout the incredible arc for Zevran especially. if you are a DA fan and haven’t read matacuervos yet, what are you waiting for… go read it…!!!

rereading oopsallmabari’s FBaGS a DA:I longfic following a noble-born mage of Ostwick as she struggles to adapt to life outside of the Circle, reckon with her magic, chantry politics, the threat of the world ending and her dangerous job as the face of the second inquisition. Grounded and thoughtful, this story explores the nitty-gritty of life during the game’s plot, follows an intriguing woman through her portion of the story as well as a slowburn romance beneath the main narrative action (very satisfying). Thanks to this fic, I was drawn into the inner lives of characters that I had not thought about much before! I am enjoying the reread and I think the story has either recently updated or may update soon…

planning to begin wispstalk’s Ten Days’ Walk which explores the span of time after the sacking of Kvatch, before Martin is ensconced at Cloud Ruler… aka his last free air… I am very excited to give it a go, i hear it will be character focused… really enjoyed Idle in Their Thrones by the same author, nice returning to the cast… :)

vita practica is the series, velut fructus is the fic i am currently reading/preparing to read a second time after zooming through the first and bawling my eyes out. watching the game it’s drawn from but as it’s historical fiction i need to read more of the philosophers and notable figures who appear therein… esp Cato… and on the culture of the era to appreciate the prose’s grace notes... tremendous fics overall; exquisitely penned, perfectly paced, with an incisive writer’s eye finding the marrow of each scene and character…cant praise these enough.

currently reading elfroot-and-laurels’ LOHC, a DA:O longfic tracing a dual HoF worldstate where two Cousland cousins join the wardens together... My favorite aspect of this fic is the alternating POVs, each of the two women develop unique relationships with companions that reveal new sides to themselves and their friends/lovers; the interiority of their hopes, fears, loves, preconceptions, etc deepens the game’s narrative in a very personal way.. I also enjoyed the breadth of worldbuilding done for the grey wardens & for ferelden as a whole… fell behind on new chapters, catching up this year

wyllzel’s Common Concepts is a richly plotted romance that meshes Wyll and Lae’zel’s romance routes together, and also explores their individual arcs as they fall in love. It is meticulously written and filled with charming banter, snappy fights and encounters, crunchy DND stuff and insightful character exploration. Only three chapters long and wonderfully penned. I never got around to reading the last chapter </3 which gives me a perfect excuse to reread from the beginning

rereading nuwanders’ King and Lionheart a sweeping TESV longfic following two siblings, their cousin, and the Dovahkiin herself. I love the depth & breadth of this fic, each character POV is filled with personality and quirks of their narration and broadens a different part of the game, so much deft and thoughtful world expansion. Beautifully paced. I love the slow build of each character’s arc… some great slower burning romance in this story as well (smiles serenely)… enjoying the reread

[hopeofhouse]

baldurs gate dashboard simulator 1492 DR

🎲 3-4-5-2-9-7-17-3

monks are sooooo hot……..flurry of blow me 😭😭

🧌 phallusaluve

lol i got invited to an upper city party by a hauntingly beautiful pale woman with luminous blood red eyes. she said she was gonna give me a lift from the sewers. is anyone that fucking stupid . thats what i want to know

🏏 nightmayre-deactivated2948192

actually my cousin went to one of those parties and she said it was really incredible and the drugs they have there were very high quality. i would recommend not judging people just because they want to meet you in the sewers because sometimes in doing so you can close yourself off to a life changing experience. thats just my opinion though.

🧌 phallusaluve

LMAOOO VAMPIRE SPOTTED

# they think theyre so smart literally howww have they survived

🍞 lumpkinfigsworthstepsout

hey this is super rude actually like maybe she has a skin condition? sunlight sensitivity is a thing you know? like there are more and more drow leaving the underdark to escape lolth’s persecution. you don’t know anyone’s story. 🙄

🧌 phallusaluve

SHE HAD TWO HOLE SHAPED SCARS ON THE SIDE OF HER NECK???

🎓elfschool

all my haters become gators when i cast true polymorph

🌑 v0ides-wh1sper

[oil painting of the hem of a dark velvet dress artfully stained with mud, seemingly in a dark stone alley, with a romantic swishing motion as if the individual pictured is in the middle of running, a flash of an elegant curved silver dagger in their ring-covered hand]

# uppercity # femalejusticiar # L O S S C O R E

🪱 tadpoledadventurer

yeah yeah the squid that comes to you in your dreams and tells you about his mams butterknife. we’ve all tried to fuck him

☘️ lucksmercy

i

what the fuck

🪱 tadpoledadventurer

the squid?? you know him

🎻 daggerplusone

op your experiences are not universal

💐 summercrocus

DNI if you:

support the circus of the last days (aberration rights abuses)

have ever prayed to ilmater (glorifies suffering)

have fucked, or have ever considered fucking, the drow twins at sh*ress’ caress (do i even need to fucking say it)

have a postcode in the central lower city (neo-bourgeoisie)

are a sorcerer (self explanatory)

worship umberlee (self explanatory)

believe in bhaalspawn reformation (my mother was killed by a bhaalspawn)

🪙 insightcheck

fyi op is pro steel watch

# thanks for the free blocklist in the tags though

🌿 old-friends-senior-bear-sanctuary

i just want to get dicked down again

🧝‍♀️ featherfell

OLD-FRIENDS-SENIOR-BEAR-SANCTUARY?????

🐬 bitch-queen

Do u reckon the dark sisters would do top surgery. An absence in the chest area.

#Lady save our National Health Sharvice

⚖️ driderclitoris

NEED people to stop fucking in the graveyard. the mortarch has enough on her plate without you low lifes desecrating everywhere. youre not original and its crass. have some fucking respect

🏹 undrcty

sure thing, user driderclitoris. i’ll take that into account.

[astranite]

Thing grows! (and now i ramble about it!)

Thing!!! (yes scrolling down the entirety of Thing is completely necessary even if I had the power to change the formatting.) (also excuse the hideous looking surface of my desk, i keep having to find longer places to lay out Thing!)

Yes I am very excited!!! Crochet is fun!!!

Actually having a crochet hook also really helps. Once I sort of got the hang of using it, everything got both easier and neater! When i wasnt nearly dropping the slippery yarn, Thing, hook combo.

Making some discoveries: apparently there is meant to be a chain stitch before you turn the corner for the next row, did not know that until several rows ago.

I did know that the first stitch is meant to be skipped, but still working out which one that is.

Somehow Thing shrunk narrower at some point but i fixed it by using one of the random end loops as a Loopy Loop. Or at least it is now about what i reckon it should be?

Thing is growing fast, but then it is chunky yarn and only 5(?) stitches wide. (started as 5 chains if i remember correctly? might have somehow turned into 4 at some point? i believe its 5 now?)

Next mystery to tackle is whether im meant to be turning the whole thing over at the end of each row because or else everything is kinda backwards? Or im doing something weird?

Behold and be entertained by my insanity!!! As i learn to crochet, while making commentary about it!

Going to try to watch some tutorials more in depth tomorrow when I can hopefully pay attention for more than two seconds.

I have deemed Thing experimental so im having a good time just going along and making Thing.

So im chill instead of horrified by all the mistakes and ??? stuff im doing. Probably with more that i dont even realise at this point!! But its still growing so I am succeeding somewhere and I am Learning stuff!!

Crochet hooks other than my fingers!! 4mm and 10mm because its Big Enough For Thing!! And they are both purple!

Decided to get ones with more chunky handles instead of thin metal ones, because they were definitely better to hold and thats pretty important with my dodgy hypermobile joints or else Ow.

Still think i might need to modify them a bit, maybe by wrapping them in something. Because theyre still not 100% there. And/or with some more splinting and/or taping up my fingers and thumb. Need to look into it more. Hmm.

I was also very tempted by pretty yarn in the shop. So soft, and colours!! But that is for Later!

But I am having fun and making Thing!! Yay for yarn witchcraft!!

(also does anyone wish to be tagged for the very random Journey of Thing?)

[sunmoonjune]

AWWWW YEAHHHH feels good to make a return to my note dedicated to ltm commentary

OH MY GOD IT'S BUG'S MUM. OR I GUESS MUMS SINCE SHE HAS TWO. i never would've guESSed that she would have a biological and non-biological mum. but i think it's really clever on your part because it just adds that much more psychopathic depth to the father's character - he's willing to kill his first and second wife in order to protect his secret.

I CANT BELIEVE HE MADE BUG KILL DAIA ?? ?? ?A?A ????@?@ ??!?/ that is the worst way to take away a child's innocence how did you even come up with such a monstrosity. i guessed before that bug had something to do with her mum's death which her dad then pinned onto her wHICH I MEAN,,,, i'm half right 😬 i just never would've guessed that her father literally forced her to murder her mother. BUT i still stand by my theory that her father then turned around and spewed lies that bug is a cold-blooded murderer for slaughtering his wife and i'm going to guess that that's the incident that leads to her punishment

also the only two times the phrase 'my daughter' is ever used is at the very beginning, when father summons bug for her trial, and mother's last words before she dies. the CONTRAST THOUGH?? between the way the phrase is said and the contexts it's used in??? oh my god you're so clever

OKAY BUT NOW JUST WHAT KIND OF SECRET IS THE FATHER KEEPING. maybe i need to go watch some crime documentaries to gain theory inspiration. i reckon bug's father was definitely capable of killing someone even before he murdered his first wife, so mAYBEEEE it was someone of high importance that would jeopardise his position as head chief if the truth were ever to come out,,, so on that train of thought maybe he murdered the previous head chief. or maybe he was in line for the position and just, yknow, sped up the process a little by getting rid of whoever was in the way. MAYBE HIS OWN FATHER ???? HIS WHOLE FAMILY???

but enough of him, let's talk about bestbois mingi and jongho being steadfast protection for bug,, JONGHO PATTING THE SPACE BETWEEN HIS LEGS SO BUG CAN SIT THERE SO HE CAN GUIDE HER HAND TO LOOK AT THE STARS TOGETHER STOPPPPPPP. bug trusting him so easily and laying back into his cHEST anD THEN THE THREE WORDS 'jongho is strong' AHHHHHHHHH. that's it. someone call the ambulance im about to pass out. HAHAHAHA but also peep mingi being a lil pot-stirrer on the side

remember that thesis on ateez hugs we're planning on writing. i can see a jongho analysis has started WOOF WOOF THICK ARMS 💪 THICK THIGHS 🦵 MUSCULAR CHEST 👕 my mind is so foggy i can't think straight rn hnNGN 🥵🥵

yknow how some fans have the theory that it's seonghwa's first life on earth bc of his galaxy boba eyes that look at everything with wonder and amazement and curiosity. THATS BUG SHES SO STINKING CUTE. and the way all the ateez members look at her with endearing gazes HNNG

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A SYMBOL FOR ATEEZ. I REPEAT. WE HAVE A SYMBOL FOR ATEEZ. if i thought that the symbol for hongjoong was the cutest then i was wROnG because ateez being home and true north for bug OH MY GOD SOMEONE HOLD ME

then we get mingi turning bug's scars - a physical reminder of her trauma, past and pain for so so long - into a beautiful constellation of stars 🥺🥺🥺 thank you moonie for including this. and im hoping that it brings comfort and healing to your readers who may have similar constellations on their bodies too <3 <3 <3 KISSES AND HUGS FOR EVERYONE

when bug is still in a sleepy haze and seeks warmth bc jongho left and then hwa takes his place and bug naturally turns into him ASIDGJSFH scuse me while i fly off to delululand and imagine my mornings with jongho and hwa tag-teaming cuddles

ahh yess the result of moonie and 🪷 anon combining braincells to bring us the beautiful symbols of hwa's bow. i forget that we were already given spoilers for this way back and it's actually bug's first time hearing about them. but i love that bug learns of them after jongho's story of the star lovers bc she understands the full extent of symbolism behind it, particularly with her being reunited with yunho and the rest of the boys as the magpie bridge to guide them back together

HWA YOU ARE ALREADY THE GALAXY OF STARS FOR US <3 <3 <3

SORRY?? NO ???? YOU CAN'T END THE CHAPTER LIKE THAT???? we literally had a whole chapter of the most endearing and tear-jerking moments, all for it to come crumbling down bc now the chief is out to kill all of the boys NO MOONIE NO DONT DO IT😡🙅‍♀️😫

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 that's okay i still love you i guess 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 jks ofc i love you AS ALWAYS KISS KISS <3 <3 <3 LOTS OF LOVE <33333

LOREN MY LOVE <333 I've finally had a chance to answer your asks hehe (even though our messages probably answered most of these questions already xD)

bug's mum <333 daia loved bug SO much :') and yes! I'm glad no one disagrees that bug's dad is a total psycho,, he absolutely had no problem killing both his first and second wives to conceal that secret

:') our poor bug,,, her dad did indeed force her to kill daia D: I am just traumatizing my own mc, bug I am SO sorry omfg

the 'daughter' part is VERY important so I'm glad you noticed it,,,

the secret,,, I can't tell you much about it,, and our messages have given you some hints but I can't say what's right or wrong ;)

mingi and jongho <33 they were cuddle bugs fr in this chapter :"D just snuggling the whole time it was SO cute! and he hug analysis!! it's all coming together xD also bug was fr me,, panting over jongho's thighs was so real of her xD

I love the hwa's first life theory!! and it SO is bug that is so cute :")

the symbol for ateez is one of my favs so far <33 home and the guide to get there <33

I also hope that the part with mingi and the scars helps others too :} it was very important to me (and to bug) so I'm really happy it was comforting for you <3

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO BE INVOLVED IN THE JONGHO HWA TAG-TEAMING CUDDLES :DD pls I'll give my life savings for just one forehead kiss from either of them xD

yes!! 🪷 anon and the symbols finally make their appearance! I definitely wanted to add the story of the magpies first so bug would understand what it meant to hwa and yunho <33 it was one of my favorite bits to write hehe

HWA <33 our galaxy and our magpie <33

hehehehe >:DD the ending,, I hope you're ready for some angst baby!!

I love you too!! <33 thank you again for such a sweet message hehe <33 kiss kiss I love you so much :}}

[alstroemerian-dragon]

Hi I saw your tags on that hajihiko art and that bit about your fic sounds really interesting if you don’t mind I kinda wanna hear more if not then I’ll happily wait for the fic!

youve activated my trap card aka asking me to explain my thoughts !!!! this might get long

my fic is basically a long form. uh. character study? relationship study? thats pretty much just hajime and fuyuhiko having Very Intimate And Personal Conversations (Five Times!) over the first. year? post wake up. and in one of them they have a lengthy discussion about the whole concept of any of them having kids

because hiko is like. hiko is the kind of person who is Very Practical And Realistic (though some may say Pessimistic). and he is of the opinion that things can only be calm and good for so long before shit hits the fan again right? so, in that case, having children with them is only going to make things worse. first, putting kids into an actively dangerous situation is pretty high up in his List Of Terrible Fucking Things Someone Can Do (which is fair, because it is, but also because. Yknow. Personal Experience). second, children being with them is, from a purely practical standpoint, going to be a Huge amount of baggage if they ever need to Leave Right Now Very Quickly. kids are also an ENORMOUS weakness if the enemy ever discovers their existence. so in his mind, theyre a huge disadvantage and just generally a Terrible Fucking Idea.

weirdly enough, though, in the conversation, this is not his argument. because in the circumstances, theyre both kind of in a very vulnerable and open place for this conversation, and so he comes at it from an emotional standpoint. and fuyuhikos emotions around them having kids are complicated.

theres the guilt, right? theyre all classified as war criminals, basically, and are guilty of some of the most heinous acts known to man. they may be being left alone, and they may be repentant and in recovery NOW, but the effects of their actions are gonna be felt for a long time, probably decades. do they even deserve the joy of childcare? of having their own children and raising them and seeing them grow? additionally, they have no idea how long theyre gonna be stuck on those islands. maybe even forever. keeping their kids trapped there when they did nothing wrong aside from. well. Being The Kids Of The Remnants. is almost cruel, right? but if they dont want that, they basically have to give their kids up at some point, maybe even to the future foundation to be integrated into the new world. but when do you do that? when theyre babies, so they never know who their real parents are and never have to reckon with the impact they had on the world? or when theyre young adults, with the full knowledge of what their parents did and who they are, and that the world, which will definitely be utterly fucked for a long time even after the tragedy is officially classified as ‘over’ (whatever that means), will despise them just by virtue of who gave birth to them?

either way, theyre gonna lose their kids at some point. and thats going to hurt. not just the kids themselves, being thrust into a world like that, but the remnants too. those are their children.

fuyuhiko also just… has a lot of guilt and fear around having kids because of his upbringing. you cant tell me he isnt so afraid of turning into his parents, of endangering his own kids, of being too angry and too volatile and too broken to care for them properly. so in his mind, the only real fix to the situation is to just never have them in the first place.

but hajime… hajimes situation is a lot different. first off, in my funny little brain space hajime is very very much a trans man, and though his relationship with identity and gender specifically is very messy due to The Horrors, he clings to his identity as a man in the same way he clings to the name hajime hinata, as an anchor to stability and purpose. if he is hajime hinata, then he is also a man, because hajime hinata was one. this is of course a huge simplification and i could make a whole other post about hajimes fucked up gender shit but its NOT THIS ONE so were moving on. anyway, his relationship with having his own kids therefore is very complicated, as many trans men will tell you, and this is… complicated by another thing i wont go into because its very sad and not really the point and also kind of a spoiler. anyway.

but aside from just himself, hajime is also extremely practical. the difference between his practicality and fuyuhikos is that while fuyuhiko’s practicality is rooted in a childhood of danger and violence and ruthlessness, hajimes is rooted in analytics, because thats just the way his brain works now. numbers and percentages and chance. on top of that, though, what balances out that practicality is that in hajimes brain, one of the most important things about Being Human is Having Human Connections. its how he fights the boredom, fights off the constantly encroaching emptiness in the back of his head. people are complicated and messy and a lot more unpredictable than his izuru conditioning would have had him believe, and he revels in that, in understanding that people have habits and recognizable traits while also doing the weirdest shit possible when you least expect it. having human connections helps him feel human, helps him feel his emotions the most strongly, and he clings to that.

so he understands, on a very base level, why some of them would want children. he understands that a lot of them probably will when they wake up. he understands that they will all adore those kids when theyre born, that the fifteen of them will be a village, will do everything in their power to make sure those kids are happy and safe and understand the dangers of the world while not being subjected to the worst of it until theyre ready.

but hajime also understands philosophy and psychology on a very high level. because you know. the horrors. so he also can reckon with the fact that its not an easy question to answer. should they have kids? would it be ethical to have kids? they dont have an answer thats going to satisfy everyone. some of them are going to stubbornly insist none of them should. some of them are going to be desperate for them. some of them arent going to care. hes skilled in medical knowledge (again, the horrors), and if there are accidents they can be dealt with, but some people arent going to want that. he and/or mikan could probably handle childbirth, as long as theyre not actively in danger, but again, theres the question of whether they even should.

thats. the basis of their conversation. they dont end up with an answer, and i dont think i honestly have one either. could they potentially have children at some point in their lives? probably, yeah. but the logistics of that, of when they would, when the kids would leave, how they would be raised, is a lot more complicated than just ‘cute domestic childcare.’

BUT THATS. yeah. its really funny that this ended up so long because that conversation is maybe a whole 18% of the total length of that chapter and thats. being lax on what constitutes as ‘part of that conversation’ fjshfjsjfjjsjs. the thing about me is that i can not shut the fuck up to save my life, so they discuss like. SIX different topics in that conversation. it makes me very afraid that people wont be able to follow it or will get tired of all the dialogue but. Thats Just Something I Will Have To Deal With.

someday ill post this fucking fanfiction. im trying to get at least. four? of the chapters done before i start posting because i have a long history of starting to post chapters/segments of a fic only for my fixation to crumble and then i never finish it. im hoping building up engagement w this blog will help so people will talk to me and keep my writing lmao. im glad youre interested though!!!!!! ive put a lot of love into all the writing ive done for dr so far

[debtdeath]

look man you’d have to be wilfully stupid to label yourself as a “proshipper” in 2022 lol. the way the “discourse” about this stuff has seemingly devolved since the inception of the term and the idea that “darker themes can be explored” became co-opted by absolute ghouls who just want to be the Edgiest Person On The Internet, you’d have to be either ignorant or an absolute idiot to want to stick with the term. the well is poisoned and theres nothing you can do about it.

putting this under read more bc i wrote a lot more than i thought i would:

i personally think the real danger about like, “proship” people isnt so much the content that they indulge into, which i think can be responsibly, carefully, tactfully and usually privately thought about, and if shared at least within an appropriate context and forewarning that would then technically qualify as “harmless”.

this is where moderation and tagging is important. there is a difference between talking about/writing about upsetting or “taboo” content as part of a piece that is meant to be serious, and including upsetting content for shits and giggles or purely for jerk off material lol. unfortunately it’s pretty much impossible to stop people from doing the latter, but you can create spaces where you dont have to be confronted to that stuff when you dont want to see it. hence moderation on bespoke online spaces (discord servers, forums), and tagging and the ability to block the tags on online spaces where Everyone Is On The Same Website (twitter, tumblr, ao3, whatever). it’s not perfect, but it’s something.

anyway, i reckon the real danger is the normalisation and fetishisation (not necessarily sexual fetishism, but closer to its use in the marxist term commodity fetishism) of upsetting content, and the subsequent alienation of people who are interested in exploring these themes but have no place to really do that other than “proship” spaces that are usually unsafe, unmoderated and usually always end up being all about the cult of Just How Disturbing You Can Be. there is a ramping up here, a slippery slope that actually fucks people up long term. that’s the real harm. thats the real danger.

i am not using the term “cult” liberally here, recruitment tactics are similar in other cults like TERF groups, fascist groups, cryptocurrency schemes and conspiracy theorists. i’ve been on the internet long enough to understand how these things work, and to tie this back to the idea of moderation and tagging, truth is you’re better off knowing how and where to keep an eye on these weirdos, so when they inevitably try to infiltrate your space you recognise them and tell them to fuck off, and so when they show up on your tumblr dashboard you recognise that some Bullshit is going on and you just ignore and block them, and flag them to your peers if you want. yes, it’s a lot of effort, yes i wish it was easier, but it is what it is.

basically, an individual person shipping a problematic pairing isnt dangerous, but when there are enough people that exacerbate each other’s persecution complex and go more and more into extremes, that’s when it crosses the boundaries of “just exploring dark themes” into irresponsibly putting yourself and others in harm’s way.

i dont really talk about this stuff publicly because it’s discourse that is too far gone to bring any semblance of nuance back into it, so im like just throw it all into the trash lol. but the point is, if you label yourself as a proshipper in the year of the lord 2022 then you should really think about what it means, what it signals to others, what kind of people it attracts.

[cursestothemoon]

Hi Charly! Could you do a headcannon about Fred and his virgin girlfriend having sex for the first time? But she’s feeling self conscious because he’s more experienced and she’s worried about not being as good as his past partners not me projecting or anything 🙃

as a virgin who cant drive this request really resonates with me

welcome to the fred show pew pew

ill stop.

17+ IF YOU ARE TAGGED AND DON’T WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW

warnings:NSFW, vaginal penetration, loss of virginity, fingering

ok so

first i wanna get into fred before you came around

his sex life specifically

i think fred likes to have fun

nothing wrong with that

so yeah he's been around the block

a few times

so he knows what he's doing when it comes to sex

he takes pride in how good he is honestly

but i also think his first time wasn't all that

he probably lost his virginity rather young

14 maybe 15

the girl was 16 maybe 17

and he kind of pressured himself to lose his virginity after hearing his amazingly cool older brothers talking about 'this bird i shagged...'

it was bill

and fred loves bill

idolizes bill

so in his efforts to be just like him he had to lose his virginity

which he did

but he was beyond nervous and fidgety

he's almost certain the girl felt so bad she lied and said she finished when really he was in there for two minutes TOPS

but he got better over time

also he made sure that the person he was with finished first because he's still a little embarrassed abut that first time

george is the only person who knows about his first time, he didn't want anyone else to know

ESPECIALLY bill

anyway

so by the time you guys start dating fred is very experienced in the bedroom

you are not

you are a virgin

thats ok

😌

i feel like fred would just assume your not a virgin if you didn't tell him otherwise

because 1) you are drop dead gorgeous and could get it literally any time you wanted

and 2) he just assumes everyone does it unless told otherwise

you would be talking one day and somehow your first times would come up and fred would go beet red and admit how terrible it was for him

and then you'd kinda just 🙂

because you don't have a first time story

fred would not catch on at first

he would be very confused

then you'd go pink and come out with it

"...i'm a virgin, freddie."

he was honestly surprised

but once he noticed how genuinely uncomfortable you were admitting it, like it was something bad

he'd go into protective, comforting freddie mode

would go above and beyond to tell you that it wasn't a bad thing at ALL and he wishes he would've waited

and then he goes

"now that i know, i'm going to make sure your first time is amazing, love."

then he'd kinda just pause and go red again as he thought about what he said

"i mean, assuming you'd want your first time to be with me. totally cool if not, but i reckon that would be rather odd considering we are dating... unless you are breaking up with me...wait don't break up with me."

you'd just giggle and pull him into a kiss

"i want my first time to be with you, only you."

"i am so glad we are on the same page."

ok fred would go ALL OUT to make sure your first time was amazing

unforgettable

and you ARE finishing.

it would be over summer

you're staying at the burrow for the next month

and fred has it all planned out

you had told him you were ready a few weeks ago and he told you he wanted to surprise you for your first time

so you've just been waiting

he'd set up a cute little tent in the meadows of the burrow

string up some lights in the trees

plethora of blankets and pillows in said tent

wait i forgot their tents are like huge inside

aW WAIT IT WOULD BE LIKE A WHOLE CUTE LITTLE ROOM

STOP🥺

anyway

he'd have some food

some water

many condoms

he's so excited

oK so the sun would just be setting

and fred says he has something to show you outside

he also knows with a full house no one is going to come looking for you two, but just in case george knows the plan and is there for damage control just in case

so you go out with fred and hes practically skipping and hes all giggly

and you are starting to feel his giddiness so you guys are just this giggly mess together

then he gets to the spot

the sex tent

and it's beautiful

you are blown away

and he is just so happy seeing you happy

so you guys eat a little

talk

have some fun

he will feed you food to be romantic

you will get a grape dropped down your shirt

fun times all around

and then your eyes kinda lock

and his are all crinkly from laughing

his freckles just a bit more prominent in the summer season

you are suddenly hit with this intense feeling of love

how much you are in love with him

how much he's in love with you

and you're sure you've never been more ready than you are right now

fred is feeling floaty

you are looking at him with this look in your

and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy

he'd reach out to cup your cheek, his thumb gently running across your cheek bone

then he'd pull you closer and rest his forehead against yours

your nose would brush and he'd run the tip of his nose along your nose before placing a kiss on it 🥺

you push forward and capture his lips in a kiss

and its on.

he pulls you into his lap

you guys are in heavy a make out

his hands are on your ass

your hands are in his hair

then he pushes you closer with his hands on your butt

the feeling of his hardening cock in his trousers against your clothed clit has you shuddering because jesus christ almighty

you've never felt anything like that before

you whimper into his mouth and fred is sure he's died and gone to heaven

so he does it again

after a few more times youre moving your hips on your own accord

you'd never admit to him that you'd fantasized about this very moment

in this very position

but instead of him it was a pillow you were grinding against

anyway

you guys moved to the bed in the tent

fred pulls away and he's holding your face in his hands so gently and looking at you with so much love

"I need to know that you are completely certain that you want this. I need you to be absolutely sure, love."

"I want this. I want you."

there was no hesitation in your voice

so he'd slowly take off both your clothes making sure that at any given moment he's got more off then you to make sure you never feel uncomfortable or embarrassed

so like if you've got your shirt off, fred has his off two and is working on his pants THEN he'd move your pants

now you are in your bra and underwear

he's in his briefs

and he can't help but take you all in

your skin

your curves

each dip and line

everything about you is just so beautiful

and he's just barely touching you as he's dragging the back of his fingers down from your neck to your belly button just watching as your skin erupts in goosebumps

he's never seen anything so beautiful

i think it was in that moment that he knew, no matter what, he would always be in love with you

all of you

he looks for your approval before reaching behind you and unhooking your bra

when your bra comes off thats when you get the butterflies in your belly

and lets be honest

on the inside

fred's a mess

like he might get choked up

regardless

the tiddies are out

fred leans down and starts to place slow, loving, kisses across the skin of your chest and in the crook of your neck before trailing them down to your breasts

you let out a shaky breath as he takes your pebbled nipple into his mouth

his hand moving to tease the other one

he's sucking and licking the sensitive nub making you breathless

then he'd drag his tongue down to your belly button then just below it before sucking a hickey onto your hip

he'd KISS IT AFTERWARDS TOO 🥺

he'd look up at you silently asking if you were ok and if he could remove your panties

you nod

youre nervous and excited and just ready

so he pulls off your underwear

and suddenly you feel very naked

but you also feel more comfortable than you ever thought you would

because it's fred

and he's your best friend

and he's just so

comforting

and you'd trust him with your life

so its a positive experience

his brings his thumb to rub gently circles on your clit before running two fingers up your slit to collect your juices

you let out a breathy moan as he slides a single digit into your entrance

his head is resting on your thigh placing sweet kisses on the skin as he adds in a second finger

his other arm is hooked around the thigh that his head is resting against, with his hand falling just close enough to your cunt that he can rub slowly, tight circles on your clit

you cum pretty quickly from fred's intense, intimate fingering

and he makes sure to make a show of putting his fingers in his mouth moaning at the taste of your release

he moves up to your lips, pulling you into a kiss

and you can taste yourself on his tongue

and there is something so erotic about it

that has your pussy clenching

ok so he pulls off his boxers and you audibly gulp

he's

l a r g e

and he notices your apprehension

he doesn't want to lie and say its not going to hurt

because in all honesty it might hurt

fred presses a calming kiss to your forehead as he lines himself up with your entrance

"im going to go slow, alright. if at you want me to stop tell me, ok, bunny?"

"ok, i might be bad at this."

"never"

aND HE'D SAY IT WITH SUCH A SWEET SMILE AND THIS LOVING TONE

BECAUSE YOU COULD NEVER BE BAD AT ANYTHING EVER IN FRED'S EYES

ESPECIALLY THIS

BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU ARE LITERALLY PERFECT

AND HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

anyway

it does hurt a bit

its uncomfortable

you do get a little teary because of the dull burn of the stretch

and fred's heart aches seeing the way your face screws up in discomfort

but after a few minutes

and a few kisses from fred

youre ready for him to start moving

he starts off slow

the pain is starting to dissipate

and it begins to feel really good

like really good

i forgot to mention it earlier but fred IS wearing a condom

back to the story

so pretty soon you guys are enjoying yourselves

fred is kissing on your neck and lips

youre tugging on his hair and letting out breathy moans and whimpers into his ear

you cum a second time before fred spills into the condom

he slowly pulls out

and the feeling of emptiness after he does so is your new least favorite feeling

you are just craving to be near him, to be impossibly close

he pulls you into his side and starts peppering kisses along your hairline

and his fingers are running up and down your back

and hes just holding you so tight

stop🥺

"i love you, bug."

"love y'too, freddie."

your slurred words made it lear to him that you were starting to fall asleep

you guys would have to wake up super early the next morning and sneak back into the house

and you'd both be super giggly and cuddly and just hanging off each other

fred wouldn't want to let you go and would pull you back into him every time you tried to leave and go into ginny's room (where you were staying)

aW then for the next few days you guys just cant keep your hands off each other

and you both are so in love

sHUT UP I LOVE FRED WEASLEY

tags:

@siriusement

@amourtentiaa

@lifeofkaze

@theorangedrummer

@erinruby003

@famdomhideout

@an2402lths

@escapingrealitybyreading

@readyg0erge

@maybesandohnos

@therealhouseelvesofhogwarts

@onlyfreds

[swtki]

Break Room - F.W

Pairing: Retail Worker! Fred Weasley x New Person! Fem! Reader

Summary: Y/N has finally started her first shift at their new job, only the guy training them is beyond eager to do more than talk about codes.

WARNINGS: I guess Fred is technically a superior but I assure you it’s all consensual, swearing, retail trauma, working, FLUFF

A/N: This totally isn’t based off of what I want to happen in my own life hahahaha what?

The cheap plastic of my name tag hung off of my collar, the feeling of it moving when I walked was strange. At my old job, we weren’t made to wear a name tag, our names were embroidered on the breast of our shirts. Such a small thing it was, but not having an exact uniform shirt and getting on with loose guidelines was a blessing. Mr. Olivander  was a very laissez faire boss, so the minor tag was a sacrifice I was happy to make. 

“Ah, I am so very sorry Ms. Y/L/N, the boy who is supposed to be training you appears to be running late. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll fetch you when he arrives.” The older man said, looking a tad annoyed, understandably so. I went back to picking at my nails, but looked up when I heard the door jingle open.

“Speak of the Devil! So glad you could join us Mr. Weasley.” The boy was tall and thin, and he hid his hands in the sweater that was far too big for him.

“Ahhh, Mr. O, come on! You know I’m the best employee even when I’m late!” Mr. Olivander shook his head with a smile.

“Right then, Fred this is the girl you’ll be training today. I’m sure you two will get along quite nicely. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have some work to finish in my office. Call if need be!” The man quickly said, scurrying away to his office. The two of us were left alone, and a quietness surrounded us. I hadn’t noticed it before, but he had a full head of ginger locks. Thats when I instantly recognized him.

“You go to Hogwarts, yeah?” He inquires. Our heights were strikingly different, so much so than he had to look down at me.

“I-I do, I’m just on summer break so I thought I’d get a job and Mr. Olivander was kind enough to offer me a position.” I rambled, avoiding eye contact as best I could. What was wrong with me? Losing my composure with a boy I barely knew. “I’m friends with Ginny actually, and of course who could ignore your brother and yourself when you pulled that stunt at the goblet last year.” A smile crept upon his face.

“Blimey, you’re thirteen? Coulda’ sworn you were around seventeen at the least.” His voice told me that he was uncomfortable being around me now that he saw me as thirteen.

“Merlin, no! I’m sixteen, just turned it actually.” He relaxed, at least he isn’t too comfortable with a girl that young, too many boys in my year were. “I tutored her when she was in first year, Mcgonnegal thought it would be good for third years to help fresh meat.” He chuckled, it was deep and I could feel it rumbling in his chest. “We just became good friends, and have stayed such.”

“I see, I thought I’d seen you around the common room but then again if you were with my sister, I probably wasn’t really looking.” I smiled, I liked that he had some knowledge I existed. “Right, okay, first things first.” he started walking to the back of the shop. “C’mon, I’m not leading you to your death or anythin’” I walked quickly to him. Where he was standing was in front of a wooden door, it was dimly lit yet I could see the perfect outline of his lean body. “This,” His pale hand turned the doornob, opening to a small room with a counter,fridge,oven, and couch arranged along the walls, “Is where we will take our breaks and clock in or out.”

“Nice.” My voice was quiet. Gesturing to follow him, we walked towards the large collection of wands.

For nearly four hours, Fred explained how I was to do my job, how Mr. Olivander was to be working the front desk for purchases, how I would be in charge of organization and easy finding. While Fred didn’t have dedication to school, I could see he clearly had dedication to retail. We said our goodbyes and clocked out at ten pm.

It was now my fourth shift at the wand shop, and though it was hard work that made my back ache, it was good work. It was a fair wage, and thats all I could ask for. The training had been completed, leveling Fred down as my coworker. I think he preferred it that way, actually. He joked with me more than he had the first shift, and made cheeky comments.

“You’ve got to be pissed to think I’ll work a double, Weasley.” He was following me around the store, begging for me to take his shift.

“Ah no, love, why would I be pissed before I take you out for a drink?” He slyly commented. I felt a heat on my cheeks, and a fluttering sensation in my belly.

“Fine.” I said, finally putting away the last box of wands, “I’ll take it. But you owe me big time.”

“I’m sure we’ll think of something.” He winked and turned around.

I was sure he was only flirting with me as a joke, something friends do but don’t really mean. We were coworkers, maybe this was his way of passing time. Until my sixth shift, when I realized this wasn’t the case.

I was in the break room, stirring the milk into my tea. The bight had been slow, it was cold and stormy and nobody wanted to go out. Although it was boring, it was nice to slow down for once. To be able to drink my tea hot.

“I reckon we won’t have any customers at this rate.” I jumped, not having heard Fred come in. He laughed as I turned and leaned on the counter. “Scare you, did I?” I rolled my eyes in response.

“In your dreams, asshat.” He got up and started walking over to me, I assumed he must have been going over to the fridge for some milk, that wasn’t the case.

He stood in front of me, his hands placed along the counter, his chest mere inches from my face. I could smell his cologne, and although he towered over me, I could feel his breath. He looked down, a smirk painted on his face.

“You know, Y/N,” He bent down, closer to my ear, “Thats not what I do to you in my dreams.” I made a small gasp when his hot breath hit my ear. I tried my best to avoid eye contact, in fear that if I looked at him, it would all be a big joke. 

“Y-yeah? Why’s that, Weasley?” My voice was shaky as I questioned him.

“Because,” he leaned back, brushing a piece of my hair behind my ear, “Theres something about you, something very different. I think you’re just as attracted to me as I am to you, am I right?”

I didn’t answer, although I did turn my face and look him in the eye. A few seconds passed, and then we slowly pressed our lips together. It was natural, like two missing puzzle pieces finally put together. His hands flew to the sides of my face, cradling it lightly.

Slow and reluctant, we finally pulled away for air, the only sound heard was our pants.

“Perhaps I should take you on a proper date first before I snogg you again.” I laughed at his attempt at a formality.

“Perhaps you should, Weasley.”

-

-

-

Taglist:

@amourtentiaa @rosemallow10 @acosmis-t @anchoeritic @endlessymphony @seekinglumos @weasleyyy @accioweaslcy @fa-me @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @freddie-weaselbee @fjorelaant 

[natromanxoff]

15 - We watched them all...

Hi one and all Back so soon I hear you ask. The reason being is that a young lady who answers to the name of Claire Harris sent me a couple of questions that sparked of the old grey matter again. But before that I would just like to say that I think Brian May is the greatest person on this planet, and by far the most talented member of the band. Last week two packages from England turned up in the same post, one from Jacky who very kindly sent me the 'Rocks' CD and I finally got to hear NOBY. Another brilliant song by the very wonderful Mr May. The other package was from Julie at BM's office with a copy of Another World, the second album by the worlds greatest guitarist. Alright, enough of all this garbage. I'm sucking up to Brian because at 4am last week I was woken by the phone ringing, and I must be honest, I thought it was Broughie pissed again and forgetting the time change, so I just let it ring and I passed out again. When I got up it was a hand written fax by the curly one, which was very nice of him. He said that he reads the Fan Club page and all my crap, so thats why I'm sucking up. I love you Brian and I want to have your children. Seriously though, I thought Another World was great, and he has acquired a real rock voice, so for all those going to see his concerts I reckon you're in for a great show. Also on tour with him will be the very loud sound engineer, my good mate Trip. I want you ALL to do me a favour, at the shows can you go up to Trip at his mixer and tell him that you are members of the Crystal Fan Club, that'll really give him the shits and he'll email me all kinds of abuse, and I promise I'll let you know what he says. He has already told me he'll give me tour reports, so if and when they come in I'll pass them straight on to you mob.

The Cross poster I mentioned last time has found a new home. I can't believe how many replies I got, I was only expecting one or two but there were heaps, so thanks and sorry to everyone else. I decided to give it to a young lady (typical) called Ruth and phoned her yesterday to tell her, and we ended up chatting for about an hour, so she should be getting it at the weekend, and the poster. I've been invited to the Australian Queen Convention in November, so many thanks to the organisers for asking and I accept the invite. Don't you all think Jacky should fly over for it, hassle her because I will. If the two of us get together in Sydney somebody will have to send out a search party to find us because she was always a bad influence on me. We made a great drinking tag team, although we're a hell of a lot older now and I certainly don't have the same amount of stamina anymore, I think it's called old age.

OK. Claire's questions, finally. "In all the queen videos ever made, which would you say was the one when the most pranks happened and the most laughter." Let's start by saying that music videos are incredibly expensive to make, so any pranks could waste a lot of time and need a re-shoot, which in turn would cost a lot of cash, so they were out of the question. But there was a lot of fun on most, if not all of them, and a hell of a lot of boozing. The funniest would have to be the "Break Free" vid. when they're all dragged up. Roger gave me his video camera and asked me to get some candid shots, which I did. I caught them in the dressing rooms trying to put on bras and stockings and generally camping it up. There was one point where Rog was sitting at a table and was being filmed from the table up. Well I filmed from the table down and Rog was in his mini skirt and sitting like a typical guy, with his legs apart, and when I zoomed in I was thankful that he was wearing underpants. And no they weren't black lace to match the rest of the tarty outfit, though I think his bra was. I got a shot of Roger walking out the dressing room, and David Mallet the director, not knowing I was filming, ran out behind yelling, "Roger, you look so nice I could f*** you."

On the "Crazy" video when the two scantily clad girls came out, Ratty and me were up the front taking personal photos, and after one take the girls went to the band and said, "Could you ask your sleazy road crew to move back, they're making us feel uncomfortable." Later in the day they needed hands poking out from the stage and clapping, so any excess film people were used, but they were two short, so Ratty and me were summoned under the stage, and it was very low and cramped and hot, so I took a few beers down with me. Everybody got the clapping on the first run through so they said we would only need to do it once. This was not good enough for me so I had to keep getting it wrong because the red headed bird in the video was standing, legs spread in all the gear, right above me. I'm no fool, something like this had to be savoured, so I dragged it out as long as I could. When we did finally reappear, I was all hot and sweaty, and legless 'cause someone passed me a bottle of Stolli (vodka) through the little hole. Probably the red head trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me, well I've met her kind before and it didn't work, I'm not that sort of a boy. As it happens we were all meant to be facing in one direction, but Ratty was round the other way so we could chat, and if you watch the film carefully you will notice one pair of hands back to front, and they belong to the Rat.

The "Princes of the Universe" video had the charming Christoper Lambert in it doing a Highlander type sword fight with Freddie, and they filmed that section first, so Monsieur Lambert and myself retreated to the dressing room for refreshments, and when the band came in we were barking at each other and playing cards. Great bloke. I kept calling him Les. Les Cargo. Escargot. Geddit, funny bastard aren't I? The daft thing is, by the end of the day he was actually answering when someone yelled, "Les."

"Who wants to live forever" had RT so drunk it took forever for him to hit the cymbal in time with the track. "Rock you" was filmed in Rogers garden of his new country estate, and as the old owners were still living there we couldn't use the house. It was snowing and freezing and pretty damn miserable, but when Freddie turned up he had drank most of a bottle of Brandy on the journey, so needless to say he could barely stand up straight in the snow and his hands were so cold he grabbed Ratty's gloves that he used for loading trucks, and wore them for the filming. Watch and see.

Just before the "Magic" video was shot I cleared off to LA to see a charming girl for a few weeks, so I've no idea what happened there. It probably went very smoothly without me. Deakys Immortals video was fantastic cause I got to meet and chat at length with the actor Peter Cushing, who was in the Biggles film. An amazing old chap who told me some brilliant stories about all the Hammer horror films, a real gentleman. "Don't stop me now" was filmed in Germany somewhere when we were on tour. We were standing at the side of the stage chatting and some woman from the film crew turned to us and bellowed, "SILENCE, this is a motion picture." We all cracked up laughing and hurled abuse back at her.

"Save me" was done at the Rainbow theatre in London, and is famous for it's very deep orchestra pit. While everything was being set, the director was just lurking around, until the band turned up. He then went very theatrical with his arms going everywhere and yelling at people, whilst walking backwards, and yep, straight into the pit. He was lying there gasping for breath when our rigger, Charlie "High steel drifter" Boxall looked down at him and said, "I did that once, F***ing hurts dunnit," and walked away. It was rather amusing. Needless to say it was the end of the days shooting.

"Champions" was pretty cool if you were an audience member. Fan club people were invited to be in the video but when it had been shot we did a Live 45 minute show as a thank you. Roger appeared in Freddies "Pretender" video. It was this point in time that I was getting a bit suss about the drummer, because he took to this dressing in womens clothes a bit to easy. When it was finished we all went back to Garden Lodge, and you had better sit down for this next bit, I was the only sober one. Roger and me were driving to Montreux the next day to start work on what was to end up as the first Cross album, "Shove it." It was getting very late and we had to make an early start and I was trying to get a bit of sleep, but RT kept pestering by trying to get me to have a drink. I declined. He was shitfaced and by the time I got him home I only got three hours sleep before I had to pick him up again. We were going to share the drive in his Bentley but he was so hungover he slept all the way, and only woke to say things like "Turn the music down," and because he had only just stopped smoking I kept getting, "Do you have to smoke." (I've since stopped) After a while this began to get very boring and I said, "If I don't smoke or have the music on I'll fall asleep as well." He got the message and left me alone. We were both so tired we ended up stopping somewhere in France, checking into a hotel, eating some good food, drinking some excellent wine, getting drunk and having to listen to him moaning again the next day while I did all the driving. Thats enough for now. The other question that Claire asked I'll write tomorrow, and it entails me getting caught with my trousers down, well off actually. Hope that thought doesn't give you nightmares. Lurve

Crystal 

[electrificata]

Venus i want desperately to hear your theory abt brad pitt syndrome

ooooooh boy ok. also @lascapigliata and @fairiewick asked abt this, so here we are.

tl;dr i find it amusing to watch handsome men have to reckon with the consequences of being handsome and i gave it a name.

ok so brad pitt, right. voted sexiest man alive twice. so handsome it almost loops around to being boring again. dude looks like a leading man bred in a lab. and he’s cast that way! they try to at the start of his career, at least. but years ago i read a review of....pretty sure it was burn after reading? that said he was a “character actor in a leading man’s body,” by way of explaining his weird performance. this is a dude who doesn’t WANT to be a square-jawed leading man with dreamy eyes, he wants to do weird shit. and you can tell by the kinds of roles he takes (when was the last time we saw him in something like mr. and mrs. smith?), but also by stuff like. the gross facial hair he spent years of his life sporting off-camera. dude's not trying to look his best, he's trying to look like "himself," and "himself" might be a little bit of a weirdo. or at least thats what he wants to be.

anyway this isnt just pitt. the model goes wider. there are plenty of actor men who are really really traditionally handsome. like 6ft+, built, usually blonde. and exactly intelligent and creative enough to have a fraught relationship with their own handsomeness. probably cuz its keeping them from doing Acting rather than just acting (he wants to have weird facial tics. he wants to do an accent.) so they avoid classic leading man roles when they can (action hero, romantic comedy lead, etc.), even if itd pay better, in favor of weird shit. obscure biopics, risky oscar bait, genre stuff, bizarre comedy...places you’re more likely to find ungorgeous character actors or leading man also-rans (the miles tellers of the world).

[alternatively, maybe his career shows signs of launching into the stratsophere and it never does cuz he makes a weird decision or two. like...well, hang on a sec.]

In addition to brad pitt, the other two examples i can think of are johnny depp (his self-consciously chosen backlog of “weirdo” roles, his goofy acting choices in places like willy wonka, his off-camera “rebel” persona*) and jensen ackles (its rumored dude turned down the role of fuckin hawkeye, thats marvel money and a lifetime of supercharged con appearance fees to....be on supernatural for 15 seasons?). brad pitt syndrome probably doesn’t explain everything thats going on with those guys, but i think it plays a role.

also thinking of like, chris evans clearly relishing getting to play assholes after all those years as squeaky clean captain america. he’s a mild case, chris evans seems well-adjusted by celebrity standards. not a high bar to clear but whatever. im gonna keep thinking abt some earlier examples to point to for this (my instinct is to say brando, but dont hold me to that yet)

to be clear: most of this is speculation! i do not know these men! most of the very handsome men i’ve met in real life are either a) dicks, or b) shy sweethearts who hate attention. actors are a breed apart.

anyway. consequently, you get this post, where i originally brought up my theory in the tags - big pretty hollywood beefcakes fucking love being given weird character actor shit to do. they go absolutely bananas. and we should give them more of it!