#my askers big brains>>> anything i post

[thatdeadaquarius]

"Oh my gosh do you sound like a sim to them??"

Me trying to place myself in their shoes:

"Why the fuck do I sound like a villager in Animal Crossing-- ARE THEY HEARING ANIMALESE WHEN I SPEAK?!"

(A.k.a I saw the previous ask and thought wait a minute. Two different worlds. Languages so similar but so different....... We're basically speaking animalese in another game/world lmfao)

(Bonus: Creator!Reader knows this and takes full advantage as their payback. Traveller magically understands and speaks back causing further pyschic confusion. Pretty sure soke brains have been melted among linguistic students in Sumeru)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM MY BELOVED IM SO LATE TO ATTEND TO YOU!! :'(

It has been a minute and yet, you remain my love!! Thank you for your patience, have a little scenario as my thanks for that and submitting the cool idea <3

Me @ you: ♥ ( ॢᵕ n ᵕ (꒡ᵋ ���ღ) mwah! /p

this gif is just really cute thats why its here.

also i have very little to add so its short but only bc im ✨uncreative✨ atm and ur ask alone is funny enough lmao, so once again, a scenario bc vine booms just a genius all on their own ✨️

◇

😭so you mean 😭 as revenge 😭 for this awful deed 😭 done to your speech 😭 you just start EMBRACING IT 😭😭😭PLEAASEEE-

PLEASE the traveler understands it!! 💀

Also if anyone reads this im so sorry ive flooded the sagau tag with language shenanigans LMAO

◇

Ever since you realized that the entirety of Teyvat sounds like Sims to you, (and the subsequent awful reckoning that you sound the same to them 😭) 

You have finally mentally recovered enough courage, and desperately shoved any embarrassment deep into your soul, to try and think of what to do about it

♤

You quickly found that people had 3 types of reactions to your speech,

 

1. They try to understand the nonsense like you trying to understand their Simlish, it really doesnt work, you wish you could tell them to give up and just gesture at you instead:

(ALHAITHAM he keeps trying then giving up then trying again lol, Diluc, ZHONGLI, Sara, Albedo, Candace, Dehya she thinks she’s gonna get it THIS time she swears-, Eula, Gorou, GANYU she feels bad lmao, Jean, AYAKA, keqing, kuki, Nahida, ningguang, AETHER, Thoma, xinyan, XIAO)

◇

2. They act like you when you hear animal crossing characters speak 💀 you can see the “omg so cute” sparkle in their eyes:

(KAZUHA, kokomi, barbara, KAEYA, ZHONGLI again lol he tries to hide it but you can see the tiny smile everytime you walk over and start ranting at him bc ur bored, Faruzan, GOROU, AYATO, YAE MIKO, keqing, LISA, mika, mona, KLEE literally loves you and you can tell shes always trying to get you to say something lol, Ei (archon), Rosaria she always SMIRKS and ur just- 😳, CHILDE the little shit giggles at ur misery, LUMINE AND AETHER U CANT TRUST EITHER OF THEM- , THOMA, SCARAMOUCHE BUT HE’D NEVER ADMIT IT BUT HE ALWAYS IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO HIDE A TINY SMILE AND GOES A LITTLE PINK-!! SAME FOR XIAO LMAO)

◇

3. You know that tiktok audio thats like Isabella from Animal Crossing singing, and then someone’s like “uh-huh! YEAH! OKAY!!” yeah like that, but to you LMAO

(ITTO, Bennett, KAVEH, heizou, VENTI, Nilou she like nods after everything you say and makes sure you’re treated well in every conversation aw, qiqi, KLEE, Raiden (puppet) + Ei (archon), SHENHE no explanation needed, CYNO too, LUMINE, YELAN, yoimiya, yunjin)

♧

Alright i got tired sorry not everybody’s there lol^

So no matter the reaction, they all are a little bummed nobody can get you, 

…but then of. Fucking. Course. 

LUMINE/AETHER as ALWAYS get SPECIAL TREATMENT 

(there’s not a single person throughout all the nations, the archons, the allogenes, doesnt matter, who hasn’t felt a LITTLE pang of envy for this- bc as cute as you sound, goddamit they USED to understand you when you weren’t physically here, before you overcame the Universal Barrier AKA the computer screen lol)

AND THEY GET TO UNDERSTAND YOU.

The Sumeru linguistics department is grinding their teeth, Alhaitham straight up glares every time they translate for you lmao, Zhongli’s eye twitches at least once everytime they do so, Kazuha is literally trying to bribe them with cool places he’s seen that the traveler hasn’t so they’ll share the secret of how to understand you, Ningguang gets 10x chillier when they’re helping convos w/ you, Ei looks like she’s fucking pouting-

☆

Aether is just like 🤨?? For what?? I’m helping???

So confused he never gets what’s going on lol

✨

Lumine, on the other hand, is FULLY aware and smirks every time she’s so smug about it LMAO 

^ the embodiment of the cat surrounded by knives meme ^

☆

Ahhhh my exhibition is April 6th u guys!

May I finally rest in peace when that day comes 🪦

Cant wait to graduate and just have a regular job and not academia + deadlines 😭😫

Hope you guys have had a nice week or two!

Look out for more posts after the 6th :>

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

Short one but hope its fun my beloved!! :)

[klaissance]

Do you have any dad klance headcannons?

Thank you so much for asking dear sweet asker I appreciate you so much. I actually,,, lowkey don't? Dad!Klance is not something I think about that much, I think bc as a teenage girl in my 20s I am not in a parent/family space that often BUT FOR YOU IMMA TRY HERE WE GO:

for starters I think they're really good at it let's get that straight from the jump

Lance always wanted to be a parent I think--comes from a big family, has watched his siblings become parents, is obsessed with his cool uncle status, has always seen parenthood ahead as something to look forward to

Keith is the opposite, never in a million bazillion years thought that was in the cards for him

he's gay so that came with its own list of things to be worried about that would be difficult in terms of, like, acquiring a child, plus he just sort of had a shitty time as a kid, has a funny relationship with the words "parent" and "dad" and hasn't had the time to hash that out with a therapist because he's been in space

really truly Keith is a feral desert child and when presented with the thought of turning a small being into an adult suitable for society his brain shorts out

...until they get together

actually, both of them flip on this while they're in space OKAY NOW WE'RE COOKING

Lance, my poor sweet darling prince, is a little less sold on children. He grows up hard and fast and violent in the intergalactic war they're thrust into, sees terrible things happen to good people all over the place, sees kids left parentless and parents lose a child, sees himself nearly die more times than he can count (oop that one time he did die lol), and suddenly the idea of kids in the future isn't tinted golden and sparkling with the memories of his childhood. He's an adult and anything could happen and it's terrifying and hard and he knows he loves what he does--loves helping people, loves interacting with children, wants to teach or something later for sure maybe--but the actual parenting is soured by the thought of his mom back home thinking her son is dead and not even having the closure of a burial or anything. He learns that nothing is certain in the way he used to think it was, and stops expecting specific things for his future

Klance gets together [how?? girls idk any infinite number of ways that is every post I'll ever make until the end of time but not this one--trust though it was juicy] and they stay together while they're fighting the space war, and slowly and then all at once Keith "Lone Wolf" "Not A Family Man" "Feral Desert Orphan" "Kids What Are Those" Kogane is, like,,,, thinking about his life and his future beyond like,,, the next hour,,, and is imagining kids in the picture??? trust it shocks him too

This actually is a version of their relationship that I really like thinking about! Lance pivots on all of his hopes and dreams that he'd had all his life about certain milestones for things--marriage, kids, the white picket fence and all that jazz--and throws it all out the window. Because piloting magical sentient lions in a space war is fucking crazy and life is nothing like what he thought and what is important to him reshapes; it isn't the milestones it is the feelings they represent, the security and companionship he is seeking, the fulfillment he can find from interacting with others in different ways. Keith is the opposite; he never thought any of the milestones were important because he assumed they were for other, non-broken people. People--not him--who could have nice things like spouses and houses and children to raise in their image or whatever. And to make a long and introspective story short he gets to hold Lance's hand and suddenly all of those nice things are back on the table and he gets to want them and finds out that he does

I guess this is where it gets fuzzy for me I've seen some things where they space adopt and that's really fun and fresh

Or they wait until they get back to Earth after having the Cool Uncle Era with Lance's nieces and nephews which is my shit i love cool uncle klance

I do think I subscribe to them adopting older children out of the foster system as opposed to however infant adoption works

but any way you slice it Keith is So Pressed About Getting It Right he's reading books he's asking Shiro and then wanting to die because Shiro is So Cringe about his caretaking advice UGH

and Lance is back in a comfy phase about it now that they've decided to do it, regaling Keith when he freaks out with tales of times he and his siblings totally almost died or that crazy shit happened or that his parents did x y z totally sideways--his point being: and look how well it turned out anyway

the important thing is that when they do have children they love them more than anything and demonstrate a positive healthy relationship for them and they try to meet them where they are and also give them opportunities to grow and be happy and therefore it all works out perfect :)

Also as an added bonus here are some of my favorite depictions of dad!Klance for your perusal:

deerstalkerdeathfrisbee's True Love or Something ok these were like my earliest favorite fics ever when I tell you this raised me and reset my brain chemistry I am being so serious. They aren't dadding until later in the series [THIS ONE] but actually the whole thing is so excellent

that,,, actually is the only one coming to mind right now but people SOUND OFF IF YOU HAVE ANY MORE PLS <3 i will return to this post with more if i find any

I hope this was good for you obviously I just stream-of-conscious dumped into the text box but it was super fun to do, if anybody has any other prompting thoughts I would love to ideate more I just,,,, love thinking about them so much,,,, ok everybody have a great day!!

[sugar-omi]

(swiftie asker) THE WAY I FUCKING BAWLED THROUGH THE ENTIRE FUCKING. POST YOU RESPONDED TO MY ASK IN???? BAXTER YOU ARE SO AUGUSTINE CODED GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD

something that always scratches my brain when i remember it is that if we're aligning olba characters with the actual lyrics... to mc it was "just a summer thing", but to baxter it was "summer love" AND THAT THOUGHT FUCKING KILLS ME EVERY SINGLE TIME BECAUSE . "YOU WEREN'T MINE TO LOSE" OHHHH I AM SO FUCKING SICK

not to mention cove being betty oh my fucking days don't even get me started. "i knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired" I AM ABOUT TO CRY!! DON'T EVEN START WITH ME!!! i don't fucking play abt the folklore love triangle ESPECIALLY WHEN IT RELATES TO COVE BAXTER AND MC.

yes yes yes!! those lyrics are perfect for this scenario!!! i didnt have time to sit n pick out some from the songs but you read my mind. those are perfect.

honestly, the way i see baxter n MC's fling in canon, i totally think it was more for baxter. he knew it was supposed to be temporary, a summer fling. he knew that. he said that. but he couldn't possibly help falling for you, who could.

you're too sweet, too gorgeous, too kind. he knows this could turn into so much more if he let it but if he did he'd stain you. a white cloth turning brown. mud on a beautiful canvas.

and when you end up with cove, i know it hurt baxter. the way he reacts in the wedding dlc, the way he talked about cove being the perfect husband, partner, friend, son. and that he was just something temporary. fleeting.

"summer love" and "you weren't mine to lose" is so perfect even for canon. he sees how hardworking and sweet cove is, knows he's perfect for you. that cove is the best man anyone could ask for. he can see that. he knows that is truer than anything else.

he knows it was just a summer fling, that's why he tells you not to mind him, and that's why he's confused you'd wanna be friends with him at the end of your wedding.

and he knows he has no business being sad and jealous watching you plan your wedding. he was never a part of the big picture of your life. he was the sweet lemonade you wanted for a summer but cove was the water you need. so he can't be mad that you are making a life with him.

after all, it wasn't supposed to be deep enough for him to lose something. to lose you. so when you drive away with cove, all your wedding plans in place. he can't cry. he has no reason, no right. you weren't his to lose.

also i can so see this with derek too... because derek has a crush on MC, and i know some of us didn't give derek a 2nd glance the first time around. (me. it was me...)

but he sees you falling in love with cove, he sees your relationship with cove growing and growing. you never look at him like that. you never smile or laugh at him like that. you don't linger when you hug him like you do cove, trying to milk every second.

and you won't kiss him like you kiss cove, and you won't say goodbye on the phone the way you do to cove, with a sweet, whispered depart, full of love and every word you say is drenched in it.

and when you start going out, he can't be mad. he never tried. he tried to wait, wanted to prove himself as someone suitable to be by your side.

so how can he be upset that you start dating another man when he never made his move, never asked you to wait for him. never asked you to look at him like you do at cove.

he never fought for his spot in your heart.

he knows you love him, but not the way you love cove. that's different. very different. so different that it clogs up his throat and clouds his eyes and clenches his heart in a vice when he sees you so in love with each other.

he loves you both too much to cry over what he 'lost.' because you were never his to lose.

[2aceofspades]

Hi, I'm the anon who asked if you were okay with all of this chaos. I have many things to say!

First off, your many thank yous made me very very (two verys) happy. So thank YOU.

Second, you absolutely deserve all of the attention you're getting. You're seriously an incredible artist, and I love the fact that a lot of your art is on paper. I especially love how Donnie looks in your style (which is funny, because I remember you saying that you DIDN'T like it). Ahem. Getting off track a bit there. Anyways. You're an incredible artist, and all of the attention is well earned, AND it's okay to feel overwhelmed. I hope you know that we don't expect you to answer everything right away. You're popular, and lots of people are asking you to do things. You can choose to not do something, and you SHOULD. Do what inspires you, and we'll love it!

Third, and hopefully finally. I play with character AIs a lot, just to kind of see how characters would react to certain things. I AM an author, and I can imagine these things myself, but I like seeing it from external sources more. It almost seems more believable. When a human comes up with it, it just feels more raw and expressive. Or something. I have no clue what I'm saying; hopefully it's not too muddled. Then, when someone DRAWS it. It's a thousand times better. I just love it so much!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love how we can give you prompts and questions, and you'll go somewhere amazing with it. I loved the thing with Leo, Donnie, and the coffee. My thanks goes out to you and the asker. It's a huge gift to us when you respond. Literally, it's like a present, I love it.

So, just to clarify because I'm paranoid and words don't really work sometimes, are you okay with super random prompt-asks? Like earlier I saw a post where so-and-so asked so-and-so what the turtles night-time routines would be. Stuff like that?

Thank you so much for everything you do for us! You're amazing, and we all appreciate you.

OH.MI.GOSH??!!!?!

Wah-

Thank you so much!!! Gah- I hope I can articulate an even somewhat intelligent response to literally ALL of this. Okay!

|

First off, I see what you did there and I frickin’ loved it ohmigosh best response ever!! 🙌✨

Secondly, I really really appreciate all your kind words. You seriously had me smiling the whole way through oh stars you’re too kind 🥹 Also, I’m very glad there are some of y’all out there that like the way I draw Donnie…especially traditionally, cuz I won’t lie…I get a bit over-critical of how I draw him hehe. Glossing over that teehee~ But seriously, I also really appreciate your respect of my time cuz I feel much less pressured and more seen as just a lil human doing art things, so thank you! 🌟

And lastly, I totally understand ya and I couldn’t agree more. It’s honestly better when I see other artists capture emotions cuz I just eat that up aaughh yes!! Ahem..I just hope that I can capture at least some emotional accuracy in my art, especially considering how dialogue is not my strong suit by a long shot hehe…

Awwwee! Thank you so much!! It was really fun sketching a silly lil moment like that, so I couldn’t be more grateful for the idea that inspired me 🤗

And finally, that’s where it gets complicated cuz…it’s honestly just complicated for me and my lil gremlin brain. I really do enjoy answering lil prompts and putting my own spin on them, but I can’t make it like…an official thing…? If that makes any sense. Like, I think I’ve seen a few artists on Tumblr put out a post for prompt asks, but that idea, for me, makes me very nervous. I naturally try not to think too much while I draw, I just feel my emotions, really. I dunno…maybe that’s a lame excuse gah..- but, as it stands, for now, I’m ~okay~ with answering the occasional prompt ask, but I won’t be making a post about it or anything. I’m just a little um..paranoid..?..after the whole spontaneous sticker war thing heh…

One last big thank you to you, anon 🙌🙌 I seriously appreciate it so much 💙✨

[kdinjenzen]

I hope this comes across the right way, but when you're saying to send asks on anything, wheres the limit on that? Especially with like the collar stuff, the werewolf things and the horni jokes are you trying to encourage horni asks? I've seen other users post similar things and then say they're disappointed if they don't get ie kinky anons but idk how universal that view is, and want to check I've not misread the situation before sending anything

So before I go into a long winded talk about everything here’s the TLDR:

You can send me whatever, and if something touches or passes a line I’m comfy with (in any way) I will just delete it and move on. I’m an adult, I have my firm boundaries, and I do my best to enforce them in a way that keeps my space safe for me and others.

I answer a variety of asks from “do you like soda?” to “do you have HRT advice?” to “DAMN YOU GOT BIG TIBBIES!” - and depending on the ask itself I treat it with the level of seriousness that the asker puts into it. So it all varies.

Also I make silly posts that are silly, I originally just called my Twitch “Dears & Darlings” but they all went “AND DEGENERATES” - so it became a thing which I think is pretty darn hilarious. XD

Hopefully that all makes sense?

…

..

.

Now here’s a much longer explanation:

Currently I have about 250 messages in my inbox, about a hundred or so of those (currently) are people wanting me to assign them a fursona.

So let’s say there’s around 150-ish (give or take) that I haven’t gotten around to answering yet. These 150 messages will (likely) get answered - though some are older and my anxiety riddled brain says “oh no, you took too long to answer, that’s bad” and I’ll probably delete it in hopes the person will ask again.

Of the countless messages in my inbox very few have ever “passed my limits” - and the messages that do pass my limits just get deleted and I don’t really pay them any mind.

Now that doesn’t mean just “generally being horny at me” it can be anything from “something I’m not comfortable personally talking about” to “something that is quite obviously drama bait”.

I’m a pretty open book, but I also ensure I have firm boundaries because I don’t really like the idea of a parasocial relationship that turns into dependency on the part of people looking toward me for validation or as “someone important” - I’m just a person, and I respond well to people who acknowledge that at the end of the day they’re a person and so am I and we all have lives and worries and concerns.

So if someone sends me a horny ask sure I don’t care, but also it’s kinda “whatever” to me, I find it amusing more than anything else.

But if someone is intentionally getting creepy or pushing a line/boundary or something, I’ll just delete the ask and move on.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Just popping in to chat :) Do whatever you need for you and looking forward to anything you share with us! Would also just like to hear about anything that's been making you happy recently!

Oh, I love it when you pop in just to chat! It makes me happy….also, I just realized today, because of some other things and because of this ask, but I haven't answered your dm's in months and oh, my god, I am sooo, so, so sorry! I swear to god it's not because I don't want to talk to you, of course I do because you're this lovely, wonderful, kind, precious cinnamon roll of a person and I adore talking to you! It's just bad brain on my side, with me getting distracted and forgetful, so forgive me for that!

And thank you for being so kind! I'm looking forward to sharing lots with you and all the other lovely, constant readers! As for things that are making me happy, I am now working at a pharmacy and my job there is really making me happy. It's sort of a dream job for me really and I'm always learning and growing there, and some of my regular customers are absolutely wonderful people. Checking them out and getting to hear about the new things in their lives make me happy. There's also a new Indian food restaurant here in town. I don't have the extra cash flow right now to go try it out, but I have plans with friends to do so on payday and I'm really looking forward to it because I love Indian food.

Also, as mentioned in a previous post, I've started volunteering. The Mental Health centre here really encourages people with lived experiences with mental illnesses and/or substance abuse issues to volunteer as peer support and that's been really rewarding and lovely so far, if a bit tough at times. A friend of mine just recently adopted a senior dog, this great big Saint Bernard, and I've been taking relaxed walks with the two of them. My apartment doesn't really allow pets so that dog time makes me super happy!

The blog and writing, of course, has been making me really happy lately. I also got a couple really cool new books for Christmas that I'm loving and looking forward to taking the time to read from Libba Bray and Stephen King, who are two authors I really do enjoy. What about you? What things in your life have been making you happy? And that goes for anyone reading this post, along with the lovely asker! I am always interested in hearing about your guy's lives, both in and out of fandom and in and out of tumblr!

[iamanartichoke]

How do we know that post abt loki possibly causing ant man to die isn't fake?

Okay, so.

- I just want to say right off the bat that this isn't meant to be a personal attack on you, dear nonny - but, your ask is a perfect example of what, I feel, is one of the biggest causes of strife and wank in fandom spaces (and misinformation irl), and that is people consuming a Thing, misunderstanding it, and moving forward with a narrative that was not necessarily true in the first place.

You wrote: "How do we know that post about Loki possibly causing Ant Man to die isn't fake?"

The answer to your actual question is that we don't, it popped up on my facebook feed bc I keep clicking Marvel things so I get suggestions for pages I don't follow and certainly haven't vetted. I saw the post, took a screenshot, and brought it to tumblr. I didn't even bother switching from my phone to my laptop; I spent more time finding the reaction gif than I did vetting the post. So OP could be talking out of their ass, I don't know.

We don't know it's not fake. But with the actual answer out of the way, let me break down why this ask sent me (and, again, it's not personal to you, the asker, I am just using your ask as an example of a much larger problem):

Firstly, I never claimed (nor did OP ever claim) that this was anything official. It read, to me, like pure speculation based on fan theory (in other words, OP presumably meta'd themselves into a theory as to how Loki would have a bigger role in the wider MCU). Asking "how do we know it's not fake" is the same thing, to me, as taking any one of the numerous meta posts on tumblr and asking how we know said meta isn't fake. Yknow? Like, "real vs fake" in the context of speculation isn't really a thing.

Much more important, I take issue with your wording: " .... Loki possibly causing Ant Man to die ...?" " .... Loki possibly causing Ant Man to die ...?"

" .... Loki possibly causing Ant Man to die ...?"

Nowhere in either the OP or my own post did anyone say Loki is going to cause (or possibly going to cause) Ant Man to die. What the post says is:

if Scott Lang dies

if Scott Lang dies

The OP of the fb post is speculating on two separate events. There has been speculation that Scott is going to die somehow in the 3rd Ant-Man; I've seen those theories and I don't even pay attention to Ant-Man. I think a trailer came out or something, but I can't remember where I saw it - but, it was short, like a teaser, and it showed Scott pretty beat up and generally Not In Good Shape, which I'm sure fueled the theory that Scott might die.

Scott's death, if it occurs, would be a result of whatever Big Bad takes him down in Ant-Man 3. It would have nothing to do with Loki. What OP is saying is that, should that death occur, it would create an opening for Loki to then step in and play a key role in assembling the new Avengers. To be fair, I am not exactly sure how that would work, as I don't know what Scott's role is in assembling the new Avengers or how the story would play out so that Loki would be the one to fill that role (bc aside from the throwback parallels, there wouldn't be much reason? I could be mistaken but, like, Scott and Loki barely existed in the same universe when Loki was actually alive, and TVA Loki literally exists in another timeline, so I'm not sure how all that would work) - but, that's not the point.

The point is that OP said, "Oh, look, the alphabet, be a shame if something happened to G bc it's pretty important to the overall alphabet."

And then - *something happens to G, creating a hole in the structure of the alphabet*

So OP said, "Look, here's a 7, if we twist it up a little bit, we can put it where G used to be - then, the hole is filled and the alphabet works again."

Except Scott is the G and Loki is the 7 and the alphabet is the New Avengers.

But your interpretation reads more like: "So, wait, if 7 kills G to take his place -" like -

So, this is why my brain record-screeched when I read your ask. And idk if you or anyone is even reading this bc a) yes, it's just a misunderstanding or maybe that's not even what you meant, and b) who cares, but the thing is that by implying that Loki causes Scott's death, especially in order to benefit (by taking over a role Scott previously played), it contributes to the overall unfair narrative that Loki is always the villain, Loki is up to nefarious deeds, Loki kills for fun, etc. It reveals and unintentionally contributes to the overall gross misunderstanding of Loki's character in general (and said misunderstanding is at the root of most if not all of the wank in this fandom).

When really, the truth is that some random Loki fan was speculating on how Loki's MCU role could be larger and more integrated into the main story if (independently of Loki) Scott does, indeed, die in his 3rd film.

So, yeah. Again, I apologize; I've just taken my adhd meds for the day and my brain is firing a hundred coherent miles per hour, and I had feelings, and that's the space I'm in when I'm seeing your ask.

But, so, this is just a general psa to all: please read things more carefully, especially when it comes to speculation, character analysis, and fan theories. Obviously I love discussions as much as anyone else, and I don't mind (respectful) disagreements, but when the foundation of the conversation comes from misinformation, it renders the entire thing moot and potentially wanky.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[chayscribbles-archive]

MR&F NaNo Update: Days 9 & 10

words written: 1644 yesterday, 1537 today (19338 total)

thoughts so far:

aaaAAAHHH

working from home when all you wanna do is write is Hard, and it doesn’t help that once i am free of work for the day my brain is too fried to get anything done 😞 i honestly don’t know how i’m still managing to get semi-coherent words down tbh

i might have figured out the plot of this second episode? but i honestly have no brain power to make sure it even makes sense kjdgsf

in plot news: 

Azami is turning out to be the number one question asker. she’s become my vessel through which the other characters (particularly Petra) can infodump and i’m not sure if this is good or not.

Finn is inevitably going to turn into a begrudging grumpy Big Brother type figure for Val and i am all here for it.

Petra, as always, needs to chill.

excerpt: since i didn’t post an update yesterday, you may have a slightly longer excerpt, as a treat.

“What’s the book?” Finneas inquired, giving it a sideways glance as he merged onto the highway.

“It’s, uh���” Petra sputtered, still feeling subconscious about using a book on magic as a guide. “It’s just an old book I found in the library at school.”

Finneas gave the book on Petra’s lap another look, catching a glimpse of the title right before Petra could shield it from his eyes. “Magical plants?” Finneas read. He snorted. “Seems a bit out of character for Miss Science.”

“It’s the only book they had that had information on these seven specific plants,” Petra defended. “And it has really good maps.”

“Petra stole it,” Valyan piped up. “From school of all places.”

“I did not,” Petra objected, her face growing warm.

“A book about magic, and theft?” Finneas mocked.  “I really don’t know you anymore.”

Nano taglist below–lmk in a comment, DM, or ask if you want to be tagged in my (almost) daily nano updates!

@summere21 @howdy-writes @hope-hopefully-writes @thepeninthestone @alicewestwater @piyawrites @jadeywrites

[lilfellasblog]

Lights Out

Summary: Logan's job consisted of many important things critical to Thomas' life. There was no room for error. He cannot make mistakes.

Until he makes a big one.

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience. This is a Tumblr ask! Thank you to the anonymous asker who waited patiently for me to write this, and then continued to be patient because I was trying out the queuing thing on Tumblr and accidentally made it so this posted here the next day. WHOOPS!! Sorry anon! You’re amazing and so kind and I REALLY hope you enjoy this fic!! I decided that since Virgil is usually the one getting hurt and needing comfort in these fics (esp in mine LOL), I wanted to switch it up for you so you could have something unique! And I figured that the central conflict in this story would also make it a little more unique for you! I hope you enjoy!

TW: crying, insecurity, self-doubt, negative self-talk, power going out and being left in the dark, mention of panic attacks, very vague allusion to a probably unsympathetic Deceit. If I missed any let me know!

Word count: 1864

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

Logan was hunched over his desk, in a posture admittedly not the healthiest but he could hardly be bothered. Thomas had three projects with outside channels and he had to update his Sanders Sides web series soon, even with the deal with Marvel. That, on top of meetings with his company, planning a video schedule for the second channel, and managing household necessities and bills, and one might find Logan rather frazzled.

(Thankfully, Patton had helped take over grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking, only corresponding with Logan on the budget. It was one less thing Logan had to worry about.)

His forehead and back were tense, his eyes were terribly dry, and his mind was racing. His hands were shaking as he jumped from one task to the other, adrenaline flooding his system. Normally, he wouldn’t get to this point. However, with how scheduling with his company and outside individuals and companies for meeting and filming had gone, he’d been on high alert for almost two weeks now. Logan desperately hoped that the schedule would come together and Thomas would get a small break from filming and meetings; he’s seen the strain it’s taken on his Host and on the other core Sides, and they were running ragged as well.

Logan checked over the schedule Adri had sent them and compared that against the rest of the crew’s schedule.

Yes! Finally! This can work, I just need to mark this down and-

Suddenly, panic sweeps through the mindscape along with shock. Logan quickly rose up into Thomas’ realm to see… nothing. It was completely dark. As his eyes slowly adjusted, he heard Virgil rattling off possibilities that would inevitably end in their demise, Roman declaring he’ll slay any intruder that dares threaten them while offering to serenade everyone, Thomas trying to calm him and Roman down while he looked on his phone to see what was going on, and Patton tripping over things in the dark while he tried to comfort Virgil.

Logan was frozen stock still, realizing instantly what had happened.

I forgot to have Thomas pay his electric bill. The website was taking too long to load, so we were going to work on it another time when the website wasn’t so slow. This is my fault. They are upset and panicking because I have failed in organizing Thomas.

His heart shattered as he listened to Patton lead Virgil through breathing exercises.

I have caused my boyfriend unnecessary distress due to my incompetence. Such a simple oversight on my part. A foolish oversight. One that would not have happened were it another Side.

Roman was checking the perimeter of the apartment for intruders, hand on his sword while he sang Make a Man Out of You under his breath. Normally, he’d be belting out songs at the top of his lungs, which only went to show his level of distress. Thomas was realizing what had happened and looked at Logan, with only the light from his cell phone screen to see.

Thomas, Virgil, Patton, and Roman deserve a better Logic. I am clearly incapable of managing the simplest things, and now we have had our power turned off. Food will begin to rot, and we just went grocery shopping. This has impacted the budget. The increased stress of not having electronics will be incredible, and the lack of air conditioning in the Florida summer may cause health concerns. This is my fault, and my fault alone. I am incompetent.

Logan sank out to his room to figure out how to survive until the power came back on. He didn’t hear Virgil calling his name.

/////

Logan had been staring at his desk morosely for a half hour, shoulders hitching and silent tears dripping down his stoic face as he observed the chaos his desk had become.

I cannot manage Thomas’ schedule. I cannot manage his bills. I cannot manage his household needs. I cannot focus to even begin to help Thomas manage while the power is out. What good am I? I am no good. I am useless. A useless, dysfunctional Side who only makes Thomas’ life more difficult. I make him unhappy. I make the others unhappy.

Logan’s felt his chest tighten and a painful lump form in his throat. His face began to crumple despite his best efforts. Just then, several tentative knocks sounded at his door.

“Come in Virgil,” he called, managing to keep his voice mostly calm.

Virgil opened the door and walked in slowly, assessing the situation. He knew Logan rarely got this upset over something, and to tread carefully.

“How’d you know it was me?” he asked lightly.

“Your knocks are tentative, compelled by your concern to make sure you’re not interrupting someone. Regardless of how upset you may be or your level of need, your first concern is always the convenience of others. It is admirable to a point, though foolish after that point.”

Virgil huffed out a laugh. “Thanks L.”

“You are welcome.”

Virgil’s face softened at Logan’s factual response and his complete overlook of sarcasm. That was always one thing that could calm Virgil; Logan wouldn’t keep anything from Virgil or misunderstand something he said. Logan took what Virgil said at face value and spoke to him in a direct manner. There was no guessing his intent or the “true” meaning of his words, no chance to get it wrong, no chance to accidentally upset him because he didn’t read between the lines correctly…

Virgil shook his head to clear those thoughts from his mind. There was no use dwelling on the past, and it wouldn’t help Logan now.

He cautiously walked closer to Logan. “I saw how fast you got out of there. Couldn’t see your face too well though. How are you holding up?”

“My spinal column is intact.”

“That’s not exactly what I meant.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Talk to me babe.”

Virgil patiently stood next to Logan in silence for several minutes, letting Logan gather himself and his thoughts, breath still hitching with the occasional sniffle. Emotions did not come easily to Logan, so processing them and figuring out how to express them were two challenges that required his full attention without interruption. And as much as Virgil wanted to comfort his boyfriend already, if Logan felt he didn’t express his feelings properly or felt that something was unresolved, there would be no making him feel better.

Finally, just as Virgil’s anxiety began to grow, Logan spoke.

“My job encompasses many things. I am the language center of Thomas’ brain, I manage his work schedules, and I assist in the management of household chores. Notably, this includes ensuring bills are paid on time.”

Logan paused, and Virgil didn’t dare say a thing.

“If Thomas had a more functional Logic, he would not have forgotten to pay his electricity bill. We were in the process of paying it, but I decided that the website was taking too long, and therefore we would return to the task at another time. Not only did I fail to notate that in our budget, I also failed to set a reminder to check the website at a later date, and I did not remember to ensure we paid our bill.”

Logan’s voice began to wobble as he stiffened his back, attempting to control his expression. “As a result, Thomas’ health may be at risk, we may have to throw out food, which will impact our budget, there will be a late payment and reconnection fee which will also impact our budget, there is increased stress on all of you, you nearly had a panic attack, Thomas will have to work exclusively at the office, and his sleep will be disrupted.”

Logan choked back a sob, his voice coming out thick. Virgil felt his face growing hot and pressure building behind his eyes, threatening to make him cry. “I am an incompetent, useless, harmful Side. I do not perform my job adequately, and as a result you all now must suffer for it and attempt to successfully think of how to survive until power can be restored.”

Virgil waited a moment to see if Logan would continue, audible sobs choking off in Logan’s throat. When Logan didn’t continue, Virgil put a hand on the back of Logan’s chair.

“Can I give you a hug Lo?”

Logan sniffled and nodded as a sob finally escaped him. Virgil pulled Logan up out of his chair and had to catch his intellectual boyfriend as he collapsed into Virgil’s chest. Logan was letting out heart-wrenching sobs, self-hatred and grief echoing around the minimalist room. Virgil held onto Logan tightly, rubbing his back and swaying them, his own tears flowing down his face at hearing his boyfriend so anguished. They stood there for 10 minutes, until Logan’s sobs began to peter off.

The genius pulled back slightly. “M-my apologies, I did not mean-”

“If you apologize for needing to cry, I am going to physically fight you!”

Logan let out a watery laugh, which mended some of the cracks in Virgil’s heart. Virgil wiped away his own tear tracks, then reached up and gently swiped his thumb over his lover’s sharp features before returning his hands to Logan’s shoulders.

“Babe, how many times have you helped me come down from a panic attack?” Virgil asked rhetorically.

“Since I’ve known you, 867 times.”

Virgil was stunned into silence for a moment. “...holy shit. Okay, and how many times have you helped redirect the three of us so we could actually be useful for Thomas?”

Logan smiled wryly. “I believe that number is beyond my reach.”

“Smartass. How many times have you helped Roman refine a script?”

Logan frowned and tilted his head. “I’ve done so for every script, you know this.”

“I know. And how many times have you helped Patton work through and accept his feelings?”

Logan hummed in thought. “309 times.”

“Logan, we’ve all fucked up on our jobs and needed your help. You’ve managed to carry that, plus your own responsibilities, really fucking well. You’re allowed to fuck up every now and then. Let us help you for once. Please.”

Logan sighed in defeat, unable to resist the pleading look in Virgil’s eyes.  “Very well.”

“Hey, L.”

“Yes, darling?”

Virgil stepped closer to Logan, their chests nearly touching. “You do so much for us. One mistake doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human. And no one's mad at you. Not Thomas, not Roman, not Patton, not me.”

“Technically, I am a metaphysical human.”

“It makes you a metaphysical human. Come on, you’ve been working yourself to death lately. Let me take care of you for once. How does a back massage, some tea, and some cuddles sound?”

Logan smiled softly at Virgil, the smile meant only for his boyfriend. “I would love nothing more than to spend this evening with you.”

Virgil smiled back and kissed Logan, slow and sweet. He didn’t stop until he felt some of the tension melt from his boyfriend’s shoulders. And he didn’t stop taking care of Logan that night until he was asleep, fully relaxed, on Virgil’s chest.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

A Study In Eye-fucking

PROMPT:

So I have this hc that when dean and cas are doing their whole staring-at-each-other-for-far-too-long thing, that cas is actually communicating with dean telepathically. He only does this with dean, and dean secretly likes that it’s their own special thing so doesn’t tell Sam. But when everyone else thinks they’re having eye-sex, they’re actually having their own private conversations. Feel free to write about this or not-no pressure either way❤️

HI, and first of all, I absolutely loved @xcaitlin-mayx 's headcannon, and was completely swept off my feet thinking of what direction I wanted to take ~ but then, uh, Life approached and I was thrown off my track. So, uh, I’m truly sorry for the really late answer ~ but I finally wrote something, and I really hope this is kind of what you had in mind, friend!

Edit: Posting this fic was a real task, because this is the third try, and it's finally ready. I'm sorry for the delay. And we need to thank the asker and @zoerayne2426 for their help in getting it here, after I lost it yesternight! Fic starts here:

***

Dean Winchester was pretty goddamn sure that he, Sam and Cas together were the best damn hunters in the World.

But not every hunt defines you as a hunter. Some days, you take out an entire coven of witches within a couple of days, or hunt down a century-old god, who had recently taken to being a dick.

Other days, a single vampire nest could take a long and tiring week, and you could still end up handcuffed to rusted barrels in an abandoned barn with your angel, trying to stall them from drinking you dead until your brother could figure out where the both of you were kidnapped to, and save the day.

“We aren’t giving Dean Winchester up in exchange for you, blue-eyes.” The apparent leader tossed her head, her attention completely taken by Cas. “Everybody knows you can’t sucking off an angel isn’t fun, right, gorgeous?” She added, in Dean’s general direction, making him want to knock her out even more than he already did.

If she wanted to make an innuendo, she didn’t even do that right.

“But that way, you’d at least have one of us.” Castiel reasoned, but Dean recognized his voice as insincere. At least he hoped. The plan was to waste time. Not give themselves over to dumb, evil bitches.

“What do you mean, right now, we have both of you?” She threw back.

“Not for long.” Dean spat, from his position on the ground. His hands were tied behind him, and he was unable to look up straight without the shooting pain at the back of his neck.

“If this is about Winchester XL, lemme just say, that he’s not coming to save you anytime soon.” She smirked.

Dean saw red, instantly. “Listen here, you -”

“Come on, Ken, you stay here with these two. I’m going to go take a look at the others,” She commanded, and the guy walked over in Cas’s general region, the proximity uncomfortable, as he waited wordlessly with his eyes on Dean, and his hand on the iron pole to which Castiel was tied - they had angel cuffs tying his wrists to chains and their bulkiest vampire assigned to the task, while Dean had been simply punched until he was rendered the equivalent of a sack of swearing potatoes and cuffed on the stone cold floor. It wasn’t exactly fair.

Moreover, the new guy didn’t look like he’d take any of their shit if they tried to negotiate him into a get-out-of-jail-alive card, and who was content enough to be a breathing stone pillar as he was told to be.

Oh, curse God for villains who didn’t monologue or had ambitions.

Listen!

A voice suddenly hissed at him, though he couldn’t hear it, and he raised his head harshly enough to get whiplash. He let it fall once more.

What was Dean’s conscience trying to tell him, right now? (Don't get caught by demons the next time, or you end up with a helluva crick in your neck?)

Dean!

The voice in Dean’s head usually used less flattering curse words for him. It didn’t call him Dean.

We can get out of here! Dean! Can you hear me?

Wait a fucking minute, this sounded like Cas.

And not in the my-family-is-my-voice-of-reason sense. Not even in the angel-on-my-shoulder sense.

Dean could, honest to god, hear Castiel’s voice in his head. It was not quite Jimmy’s voice though, it was all in all Cas! How Dean could tell them apart, he had no speck of an idea.

But - how?

You can hear me, can’t you?

Dean painstakingly raised his head to meet the angel’s eyes. Ken, or whatever his name was, wasn’t looking at Dean anymore, he was looking at Cas. Cas, on the other hand, had his eyes focused on Dean for sure.

Dean nodded, in response to the question from before.

Is it really you? He thought real hard, and saw Cas wince a little bit.

You don’t need to shout! We’ve already established that the connection is stable. And of course, it IS me.

Dean could feel his head whirring towards a more paranoid headache.

What connection, what the fuck is even happening? How are you doing this? He breathed.

Cas gave him a glare, that looked awfully like, that’s not a priority, though Dean didn’t hear it ring through his brain.

Dean. Listen to me. When these vampires were disarming me, I made sure to push my angel blade away. It’s got to be somewhere near you. You need to get it.

Dean instantly began to fumble around, clumsily. The vamp in the room turned sharply to him.

“Just an itch.” Dean excused, before going very still. This time, his eyes didn’t leave Dean. He still held onto Castiel’s iron chains.

Dean looked down at himself, to avoid eye contact. Are you sure it’s somewhere behind me?

There was no response.

No voices at all.

Dean looked up again, and suddenly Cas’s voice came in again. You need to keep looking into my eyes.

An involuntary heat rushed up Dean’s throat. He suddenly paid an extraordinary amount of attention to the blue, blue eyes of his friend. Castiel went on. I’m not an archangel, only they can communicate without it.

Dean swallowed, and forced a smile at the big lug who still glared at Dean, before he met Castiel’s eyes again. He was careful to not be expressive. Cas had it easy, he rarely looked like he meant something he said, or thought. He repeated himself. Are you sure it’s behind me?

No. Followed by a distinct, But you need to look. It's our only chance.

Dean almost nodded but remembered that the vampire still had his eyes on him, so stressed out an Okay.

Don’t scream your affirmations in my head, please. Castiel deadpanned, even his voice adorning a very Cas-like tone. Dean felt the twitch of a smile.

He began to look, much more subtle this time.

I’ve got it. He thought softly, before realizing he didn’t need to whisper in this - whatever the hell this kind of communication network was.

Use it.

Castiel didn’t even have to think it at him, his eyes did the job. A single touch of the blade to the ropes had them loosening. Hopefully not melting, though, but Dean couldn’t turn his head to see. Angel blades were apparently multi-utility tools.

Once the ropes were severed, it was Dean Winchester’s turn to shine. Ken got an elbow in the face, and a kick in the shin before Dean began to cut off Castiel’s chains, and when Ken showed up again and had Dean in a surprise headlock - what an ideal villain - Dean stabbed him with the blade, and deftly cut his throat off.

The tale of how the hunter and his angel, freshly freed and armed, got from there to the motel room, was one which has been told several times.

***

Sam was very much asleep when Dean and Castiel had time to talk, Castiel had healed him but he had bled out a lot, and Dean’s insistence that he take some rest, had resulted in sam beginning to use his laptop whilst on his bed - and soon slumping off to sleep, with it’s screen still lit.

Dean later shut down the computer, while Castiel pulled the sheets over his legs.

Being a hunter had very few perks, but it had several drawbacks, such as having to go out of the small room to have a serious conversation - lest you risk waking up your brother who, as all hunters, was prone to light sleep.

Dean almost pulled Castiel outside, and deciding that talking outside the door would be ridiculous, so they walked all the way outside the motel. Dean leaned against the impala, and Castiel stood straight and watched him.

At the moment, it had been easy enough to get over the realization, that he and castiel were communicating through thoughts. There was pain, and there was danger - and there was the factor of time.

Now under the starlit sky, it was just Dean and Cas, and like hell, there weren’t questions.

“Okay,” he breathed out. “What the hell was that, back in the barn? With the-” His eyes were wide with shock, when he met Castiel’s again. “With the goddamn mind reading, Cas!”

“I..” Castiel didn’t sound as sure as Dean would’ve assumed he was going to. “I just tried something. And it worked.”

“What did you try?” Dean pursed his lips.

“To see if I could tell you something,” Castiel was still uncertain how he would explain something like this to Dean. “Without saying it aloud.”

“Yeah, well, your dick-ish brothers and sisters have gotten into my head often enough,” Dean snapped. “This was different. I was in control too! I could send things back that route through!”

“I agree,” Cas nodded. “It was like a telepathic connection.”

“I’m not.. Psychic or whatever, Cas! I can’t do this shit, eye contact or not!” Dean recalled.

“Dean.” Castiel sounded more firm. “It was a moment of distress. Those vampires would’ve turned you, and found the blade soon enough to kill me too. And I felt like - there was something I could do.”

“Just like that?” Dean was quieter.

“It was like a string, within reachable distance, and I strained my grace to get to it. And I could pull it. So I did, and..and you picked it up then, by looking into my eyes.” It was as if Castiel was explaining it to himself too, not just to Dean.

“I don’t know how I ‘picked’ anything up.” Dean wondered aloud. Helpless. “I don’t it know how it worked, at all-”

“Dean” Castiel suddenly walked towards him. There was only a foot of distance between their chests, and Castiel blinked clearly at him. “Look at me.”

Dean hesitantly raised his eyes from the ground, and felt them flicker all over Cas’s features. He was embarrassed, because Cas may be dense in general, but anyone would understand if a dude’s eyes kept flitting back to your lips, right? Rigidly, Dean made himself focus on Cas’s eyes. They were ocean blue in the sun, but tinted with the grey of the late evening right now. It was certainly not the first time Dean noticed the angel’s eyes. “I am.”

“Would you… could you really look into my eyes?” Castiel asked, he sounded so sincere, that Dean didn’t have it in himself to make a lewd joke.

He simply obeyed, letting himself drown in the black pupils, not letting his sight wander past the beautiful hues of the iris, or-

Dean!

Dean blinked suddenly, and Castiel clasped his bicep with his right hand, to make him focus. His eyes sought all of Dean's attention.

Dean?

So now, this is apparently a thing. Dean thought, and somehow it was enough. We’re telepathy buddies, who think into each other’s heads.

For a long moment, Cas simply looked into his eyes. But Dean didn’t hear anything from him. There was a pleasant silence of all of Cas’s attention on him.

It was when Dean began to wonder if the connection had broke, or if Dean was suddenly incapable of hearing Cas’s thoughts anymore, that a small, mellow voice he hardly recognized as Cas came floating through the front of his brain.

It was unsure, and almost a little timid. Maybe even sad. It wasn't what Dean expected.

Is this so bad?

Of course it wasn’t, who was he kidding? But Cas’s face had crumbled into an apologetic look, though his eyes stayed focused on Dean’s- and Dean understood that not everything he thought was audible to Cas. It was - it was perfectly under his control too!

However, that meant that Cas believed that Dean hated this- except the truth was far from it. It was unbelievable, yes; but this was Cas. It wasn’t - it couldn’t be… bad. Dean suddenly wondered how much of his thoughts were audible to Cas, not quite having a good hold on it yet.

I never said that. Dean swallowed, as if testing waters. It’s weird, not gonna lie, but it isn't exhausting, and it could be helpful. And okay, maybe it could be fun-ishh too.  

Castiel smiled a bit, and his eyes suddenly seemed to light up literally, and a wave floated through the ‘string’ apparently, uplifting Dean’s spirits too. He smiled too, realizing that he’d never seen Cas smile, this real and beautiful, up close.

And then he suddenly stopped smiling, realizing that he’d never seen Cas smile, this real and beautiful, this up close, and that had just made him smile.

Whoa, Winchester - bring it down a notch. He looked away, almost on instinct, a heat crawling up his neck.

“This is gonna need some getting used to,” Dean declared, putting his own hand on Castiel’s shoulder - because apparently two grown men staring deeply into each other’s eyes in the parking lot of a cheap motel, wasn’t inappropriate enough to be considered gay, with only one of them touching the other.

(If someone were doing a commentary on Dean’s life, they’d need to pepper in the fact of how the oldest Winchester was truly prone to being a helping hand to bring about situations which embarrassed him infinitely, in the confines of his own head, later.)

Dean pulled off his hand, almost that very next moment, and turned away from him, towards Baby. Thinking. There was so much to think about.

“Can I tell you something?” Castiel spoke up, his voice ever so thoughtful. “This is not… the first time I saw this. Angels can do it, angels who were raised together, who have fought together. Archangels find it simple. But seraphs like us?” He sighed. “Uriel had recently discovered we were able to do it, just a few decades back, but we tried it rarely, and now he..”

“I’m sorry, Cas,” Dean meant it, and he bit his lip. “But, what about me? I wasn’t - I’m not him, and I wasn’t raised with you, angel.” It didn’t strike him that he’d just called Castiel angel until sufficiently later, half-asleep in bed and replaying the conversation, and it was a miracle that he didn’t panic out of sight when it happened.

“I’ve never seen this before,” Castiel spoke, after a pause. “But there were stories. Of humans being able to do this, rarely. Very rarely.”

“What did I do -?” Dean stopped, not saying ‘wrong’, because Cas would probably not understand he meant it as a joke. And not saying ‘right’ either, because that wasn’t something he’s say out loud.

“It wasn’t something you did. I do not know why it happened for you and me, Dean. But,” Castiel stared at him keenly. Dean looked back at his eyes, and once again, he could feel them relapsing into their own bubble, where words didn’t need to be uttered to be understood. It was kind of fascinating.

Castiel paused, as if testing the string again, or maybe just wondering how to say it. When he finally does, his voice trembles a bit. And he’s searching in Dean’s eyes, some sort of reassurance; involuntarily.

I have heard it happens for those who are bonded.

Dean was suddenly grateful that Cas didn’t say that out loud, because Dean would have been absolutely incapable of responding with anything at all. But since this was just between them, there were only traces of a boundary, yet no intrusion- Dean felt the courage to think distinctly.

Then maybe you do know why it happened for us.

*

That's why, when Cas throws the 'profound bond' line at Sam, Dean instantly panicked. Castiel met his eyes, sending a, What's the matter?

Dean could only scoff his denial out loud, and glare a Not in front of my brother, jackass, into Castiel's irritatingly blue eyes.

*

In his defense, Dean doesn’t know how long Sam has been noticing it. But it’s got to be in the middle of a fight that he calls them out on it. It’s the middle of the goddamn showdown of the hunt. It’s the Winchesters and Castiel against dozens of demons; the angel whirred around, killing plenty, with expertise and his bright blade; Sam was exorcising loudly, from memory, as he fought off more demons using Ruby’s knife, and Dean shot at all the monsters in between.

When Dean gets a spare second - the Winchesters look like they’ve almost already won, and most demons are fighting to lose now - he whips his head in Cas’s direction. The latter is always majestic when he’s in his element, a glorious warrior.

Dean watches Cas flung a demon over, and pin him to the ground with a flourish, extracting a dying gasp as Castiel lands next to him with a palm on his sternum, displaying strength that should’ve been impossible; and Dean gapes. As if on cue, Castiel turns to face him, and there’s a triumphant spark in his eyes, and a smirk dangling tangent from the corner of his lips. It’s an absolute scene to die for, and he doesn’t look past Dean.

Dean. Castiel suddenly speaks, directly into Dean’s nerves.

That was so cool! You flipped him midair, it was something else, dude! Whoa! Dean lets out, in a hurry.

Castiel’s eyes don’t leave Dean’s, but they crinkle into a smile. You have blood in your hair.

I could do with a compliment too, but sure, worry more about my hair, why don’t you? Dean runs a hand violently through his hair, to get it off.

You’re an excellent fighter, and you know it. The fact that there was dry blood in your hair was something that you didn’t know, so I mentioned it. Castiel almost teased, and it stunned Dean how natural it felt suddenly. To have the voice of an angel echoing through his head, delivering lines in a deadpan. All while he got to stare into those fantastic baby blues, which starred in more dreams than Dean appreciated.

Come to think of it, Dean had no idea what he looked like, right now. Frozen in the middle of a fight scene, with eyes locked with Castiel’s, and no will to look away. His jaw basically hung, rapt in attention.

Don’t be that way. Dean sent back. Listen. Will you stay after the hunt tonight, Cas?

Do you need me to? Instantly resonated.

Once again, Dean surprised himself. But he was also beginning to realize that he could be both spontaneous and brave, when it came to saying the stuff he wanted to, when they communicated this way. Dean proposed, swiftly.

Nah, I was just thinking. If you were living with us tonight, we could make plans, you know - maybe a movie, some classic, of course; or maybe burgers and -

DEAN! Turn around, and SHOOT! HE’S BEHIND YOU!

Dean spun around as fast as he could, following thoughtlessly and firing away. His thoughts returned to him slower, still stuck on the way Cas’s eyes widened with sheer worry, when they saw Dean was in danger. Before he could think ahead, the body of an armed demon dropped at his feet, with a bullet in his head.

Castiel had sounded terrified for his sake, eyes suddenly wide and his booming baritone piercing through Dean’s bodily systems to make his muscles move just right. Never had Castiel’s voice overpowered all of his senses again - not once, after that one time in the abandoned shack, after the former raised him from hell.

”…Dean!“ Came Sam’s voice, trailing closer, and it was as if he’d been yelling for long - though Dean could only hear it now. "Are you okay!?”

“Yeah,” Dean touched the corpse with his boot. “Just peachy.” Their surroundings were silent, and all the demons had been killed. Sam ran towards him, frantic, and stopped as he began to yell, harshly clutching his brother’s shoulder, to get himself back together.

“You - you idiot! Both of you! Well, if you hadn’t been staring at each other’s mugs,” He declared, turning his head to include Castiel in his reprimand. “You’d have seen the demon coming sooner!”

Dean swallowed, suddenly overcome with the realization of what it looked like, each time they did it. Fuck. He hadn’t been thinking.

Sam wasn’t done yet. He’d been keeping it in for too long. “What is up with you, Dean!? I would think you got enough of looking at each other from what you keep doing, all frigging day!” It was as if Sam had taken the panic he felt at seeing his brother almost killed, and combined it with the frustration piling since almost a fortnight now into a mound of anger, that he shoved in their faces. “I mean - it doesn’t matter to me, you do you and be happy being yourself - but at least put the pining away when you’re in the middle of a fight!”

“It’s not pining, what the fuck do you mean?” Dean objected indignantly. “It is -” And he suddenly stopped mid-sentence. He looked at Castiel, but the angel was looking at the ground, almost as if he believed he was responsible for Dean’s almost-murder - while clearly he was the reason Dean was still alive!

Dean commenced on a trail of thoughts himself.

Didn’t Sam know at all? Well, should he? Did he really need to?

Okay, if he thought about it, probably not.

It wasn’t about this being a Dean-and-Cas thing. No. It wasn’t about that at all, that’d be ridiculous. It was plain and simple about keeping Sam from being a smartass about it, for forever later.

So that settled it.

Sam didn't need to know.

Were you telling me something? Castiel suddenly popped up in his head, sounding grave.

I was trying to think something at you, but never mind, Dean got swept up in the feeling of replying to the angel through his thoughts, feeling himself put every emotion through a channel to get to him, to remember that Sam was still right there -

“Oh, there you go again!” Sam whined, before beginning to storm away. “Don’t try to stop me from driving away in your car, Dean! You can just keep staring,” He snarked. “And try to get it out of your system before you return to the motel!”

Castiel walked to Dean, slowly, once Sam had left, leaving his rant in the middle. “Your brother -” He began.

“Obviously you don’t do this with him, because he has no idea,” Dean remarked, if he didn’t already know.

“It isn’t intentional.” Castiel defended.

Dean nodded. He walked a few steps on the path where his brother had marched off, seconds before. He knew Sammy - and knew that that was just an outburst for no reason but venting the sudden adrenaline, and he was just being the regular prissy cares-for-Dean’s-life bitch, he’s always been trying to be. It didn’t bother him as much as it would’ve, if Sam knew about the ‘bond’; especially what Dean thought of it as, inwardly.

Castiel blinked, bringing him back to the present. “But, Dean? What does Sam think, then? What do we do, when we look at each other’s eyes?”

“…uh, just look, I- I guess.” Dean stammered, fidgety. “It’s not a big deal, c'mon, let’s get back to Baby before the kid actually leaves. And hey, uh, about the heads-up about the demon, back then? I didn’t get ganked totally because of you, so - thanks.” Castiel looked at him like he didn’t make sense, which was pretty unfair, because he totally did, right? He was being extremely clear about all of this. Was dealing with all his new feelings like a pro.

He’d obviously been giving off the vibe, that meant that Dean was completely over the freak out phase associated with the fact that what their telepathic crap meant was that they were ‘bonded’ - or whatever, who cares - and was only attached to what that meant for him ~ that Cas could hear Dean’s thoughts and he had a choice to not let him, but he did let him, so that was supposed to mean something - and he saved Dean’s life almost periodically at this point, so that was another perk of having him around, except for the fact that he got to look into his eyes - and Dean was going to keep this entire complicated thing from his brother, as if it were his overdue gay panic, to be later referred to as a mid-life (sexuality) crisis.

Okay. Maybe it was the opposite of out in the open.

But perhaps Dean could ask Cas to look into his eyes, and go over these (that were so hard to actually say out loud) again, because yeah, that was a thing that they did now.

Dean Winchester had a weird life, and he was extremely happy to be living it right now, as Cas blinked at him and said, “Of course, Dean, always,” in response to the thanking, and followed him out of the room where they’d just killed an entire troop of demons and saved the state of Kansas, and as Dean plotted to push Sam right of the driver’s seat, and mentally made a note to start paying more attention to the setting before he starts staring at Cas. Apparently.

~~~

And that’s it! I know it’s an abrupt-ish end. but will you be fine if I post editions of this, separately? There’s an angsty one, with mentions of Purgatory, Naomi and Steve - and there’s probably also a crack one, with shipper!Sam, shipper!Charlie and shipper!Kevin, and some breakfast Destiel. Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this fic, and am so glad you sent me that headcannon, Caitlin!

Here’s my taglist for Destiel, and though this is pretty general, I guess it counts: @all-or-nothing-baby @petrichoravellichor @adventurous-blob @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @legendary-destiel @ladywaywarddsc @styggtroll @moderatelypanickedbisexual @trenchcoatsandfreckles @noemithenephilim @naitia @ctrl-alt-destiel @a-mess-of-many-fandoms and @3dg310rdsupreme, uwu, Special Mention: @zoerayne2426

[tinypurpleparrot]

Fanfiction Writer Asks

Fuck it, I’ll do it myself, because I know I can’t count on you nerds to actually ask anything. :p

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

I really don’t know. I’ve been writing creatively since I was like 6. I don’t really remember writing for fandom until Pokémon, but I’ve been in fandom since the original Sailor Moon and Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers.

 2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

I guess the Yogscast. Except I only really like a few of them, and it sure as shit isn’t the main channel people. I haven’t found a new obsession because I can’t sit still for tv anymore, and I’m a patient gamer/reader. So once I find something I like, it’s probably old and everyone’s already moved on.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

OCs. I am boring, shy (and thus no fun), and quite good at ruining the moment.

 4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Action/Adventure. Fight scenes. Getting out of dire as fuck situations. Underdogs.

 5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I have so many… XP I guess a story I wrote in called Royal Infamy. It was literally hundreds of pages long, spanned at least 4 different fandoms, and could’ve been a standalone series if I just changed the names. Unfortunately it’s been lost to the ooooolllllddddd (and I mean 2001) internet. I like to think that maybe it’s on some ancient server, saved by those sorts of people who try to archive the entire internet and have literal exabytes of hoarded data. It was also how I met my SO of 13 years.

 6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

A Prince of Persia fic. I don’t even like Prince of Persia.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

I never get as much inspiration as when it’s 1am and I’m supposed to be going to bed like a normal person. But never at a normal hour in the evening unless I’m inspired at work and have to rush home before I forget.

 8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

It used to be from all the anime I used to watch, now it’s cobbled together from fantasy books and video games.

 9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

Like erotic fic? Eeeh. I’m so terrible at it that I literally only have one, I’m writing it right now, I’m not finished, and I don’t particularly like it because I keep subconsciously writing away from the part where they hold hands because I’m conflicted and discomforted by the whole thing, to be honest. Like, even when I was adolescent and supposed to be thirsty as teenagers are, I just wasn’t and couldn’t. My ex tried to get me to write something for him, and I still couldn’t do it. *shrug* It doesn’t help that I’ve never been big on shipping. …Those characters sure are standing next to each other, yep.

 10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

Hahah… endings. That’s good. (Also see previous question.)

 11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Not that I can recall, unless you count ‘stop doing that thing’, ‘okay’ *does it more*

 12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Rythian. Fuckin’ edgelord. Just everything about him and his OC is *kisses fingers*.

 13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Unfortunately Rythian is usually entangled with other people from the Yogscast. :p

 14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx?

Current project doesn’t even have a title, that’s how non-committed I am to it (she says even though it’s fast approaching a novelette.)

 15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

If it’s an OC of a particular universe, there’s probably a naming convention, and I go by many names. If it’s just generic freestanding story, I keysmash and pick through it until it rolls off the tongue.

 16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

Classic ‘rivals who hide their sexual tension behind their distaste for one another.’

 17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

“I haven’t seen your face since when you first came back from The End. And the … incident with trying to rid you of your curse.” He chuckled. “I’ve actually seen a lot more than your scars.”

 18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Like 75% of my work is abandonware. I have ADHD, I get bored, and I usually take so long, the fandom “dies” before I can finish. And the moment is gone.

 19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Royal Infamy. And make it mine this time.

 20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Probably Royal Infamy.

 21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Ilona Andrews. Her style is exactly what I aim for. …Okay maybe not the monster fucking, but the rest of it. Exciting, tense, a little bit scary.

 22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

The Prince of Persia fic. The first draft of the erofic. The weeb crack.

 23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Silence. My brain goes 100% towards analyzing music and then I can’t focus on anything else.

 24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Eeeeeeehhhhhh *whines* I don’t wanna…

 25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Nope. I don’t write that kind of pain.

 26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

The part where these two people who’ve tried to murder each other could even reasonably be in each other’s presence, let alone fuck. Also eternal hatred for evasive genital description brought on by a broken, puritan society.

 27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I should start making outlines. My current three projects keep going off the rails.

 28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

To go in with no expectations of people ever responding let alone giving feedback to anything. You’re just tossing shit in a hole and for every ton, one flower might grow.

 29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I did a thing about how Lalnable Hector created Echo, and *crickets*.

 30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Twenty years later, I still get emails about a fic I wrote about Birdy the Mighty (C-tier anime about a dead boy soul-sharing an intergalactic cop’s body.)

 31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

-

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Other than putting slivers of wish fulfillment in, no.

 33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Someone found a fic I wrote in two weeks in an archive over 20 years old and sent me kudos. Like, that shit should’ve been buried. But they found it.

 34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

Mary Sue. And you’re goddamn right she was. And I’ll fucking do it again.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Nope, not for fear or anything, I just don’t think to share before it’s done because I’ll probably abandon it anyway.

 36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

You’ll be unsatisfied with the ending.

 37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

You fucking made me open one of my old Gundam Wing crack fics to check. Now I don’t know because I’m still cringing.

 38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

*shrug* Like… I haven’t done a collab in *checks calendar* 17 years. I don’t have any live fandoms. I’m not big on trying to meld with other people’s styles.

 39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Third.

 40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

No.

 41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

Can’t think of one. I usually don’t have minor/background characters?

 42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

…Okay, now I seriously can’t tell if xxx means erotic or a particular example. 😐 Anyway, I for some reason lost the ability to link songs to fics/personalities. I just don’t think of any particular person when I hear a song and vice-versa.

 43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

That would imply enough people cared.

 44) What is the last line you wrote?

Despite the queen pushing him, he couldn’t move even if he wanted to (which he didn’t.)

 45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

If I don’t fucking do this it’s going to bother the fuck out of me for weeks, even if I don’t finish. Just get it on paper so it goes away.

 46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

More action and intrigue.

 47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

 -

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

The antagonist finds the protagonist’s berserk button and realizes that maybe they should not have pushed it.

 49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I can’t remember fics I wrote. And shit, that was at least 23 years ago. (She says even though she can perfectly remember her first fantasy novel 30 years ago. (The Gammage Cup))

 50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I think. I’ve gotten good feedback from my more serious stuff.

[rosecolored-gay]

All them questions bitch

Okayyyyy

1. Are you a side, back, or front sleeper?

- Side or stomach, mainly stomach.

2. When you hum random music what song is it?

- Probably the jeopardy theme song.

3. Explain your username

- I am a gay, and rose colored because of the Paramore song.

4: Explain my username

- Anon?

5: How did you fall into the tumblr hellpit?

- Lol, my friend Tuna from high school marching band.

6: What fan interest of yours would you least prefer to explain in your workplace?

-My hidden love for Degrassi, and other shows from when I was kid.

7: What fan interest or yours would you most enjoy explaining in your workplace?

- Definitely my love for Grey’s Anatomy

8: Last song you listened to?

- High Hopes - Panic! At the Disco

9: Weirdest thing on your dash today?

- Not weird, but saw a lot of porn

10: In a perfect world, what animal would you most like to adopt?

- A polar bear!

11: What animal would you most like someone else to adopt?

- This question doesn’t make sense to me

12: What’s something trivial you have strong opinions about?

- OOH man, if you want to get me fired up, I have a strong opinion on LGBTQ rights, gender inequality, a woman’s right to choose, and race inequality. I’m a sociologist, so.

13: What would your super-villain finishing move be?

- Spiderweb like Tom Holland did in Homecoming.

14: Explain your icon.

- It’s me, looking hella gay.

15: You meet your true love(s) today. Possibly again. Describe your ideal hilarious romcom meetcute. (can be aromantic)

- Ummm, I always love the idea of two people picking up each others coffee order by accident and then they go to switch it and the one person is like “why’d you order this like this?”, idk and it leads to conversation, lol. I have a wild imagination when it comes to writing.

16: Your comfort food, and why.

- I really really really love Matzo Brei made by my dad. 

17: What type of mad science will you Show Them All with? (ex: mad chemical engineer, mad library scientist, mad linguist). Which of your creations will probably turn on you?

- I have no clue

18: Favorite cheesy trope?

-The having to share the bed trope

19: Favorite trope nobody writes enough of?

- Fake dating

20: Rec me a book, comic, or anime, or other piece of media you wish there were more like.

- Mmm, I could always go for more LGBTQ fiction.

21: Wierdest tumblr drama you’ve been a part of or stumbled across.

- Uh well, someone was harassing me on anon for a while. 

22: You know those things from a million years ago your brain suddenly reminds you to feel embarrased/guilty/bad about in full technicolor? Tell me one of them.

- L O L, how about the time I decided not to listen to my mom, and I was swinging my body back and forth on my grandmother’s walker, and it was on concrete, it moved, and I fell on my ass and bruised my tailbone so bad I couldn’t sit for a week.

23: What is something you collect?

- Notebooks

24: Pens. Do you know where the one closest to you came from? Would you be distressed if someone took it?

- Its a pilot precise pen, it belongs to my mother and if I took it she’d murder me.

25: The last game you played is crossed with the zombie apocalypse and now going down outside your window. How boned are you?

- Like video game? Uh, Super Mario Bros.

26: What was the last thing that made you cry?

- Getting a job that I really wanted.

27: Most embarrassing/weird/personal body thing you’re willing to talk about.

- Umm, I have a lot of freckles just randomly placed all over me.

28: Your icon is now the voice of your inner therapist. How is this gonna go?

- So, I’m my own therapist?

29: Name a kink you only like hypothetically.

- I’m so vanilla

30: Name a kink you find bewildering.

- Anything with animals is just fucking weird

31: You have acquired: a mouse, a lizard, a rabbit, a spider, a domestic fox. Name them! Who gets to sleep on the bed?

- Mouse is definitely now named Mickey, the Lizard is Godzilla, Rabbit is Dash, Spider - No way in hell am I keeping a spider.., Fox is named Zeus

32: What was your favorite childhood toy? Do you still have it?

- It was a barney plush, and he’s in a box in my closet

33: Hit “shuffle” on your media player and tell me your favorite lyric from the song that comes up.

- “Did you take him to the pier in Santa Monica? Forget to bring a jacket, wrap up in him cause you wanted to? I'm just curious, is it serious?”

34: What fan media (of yours or someone else’s) would you most like to see art/fic for?

- These Strange Steps, it’s a Faberry fic on AO3. 

35: What do you ship that you think would be hard to explain convincingly to other people? Attempt an explanation.

- Uhhhh, I kinda shipped Arizona and April from Grey’s Anatomy.

36: What meme gets on your nerves?

- The salt bae one I guess

37: Showers or baths?

- Showers

38: Who was your biggest childhood nemesis and why?

- This kid Talia, she lied to a kid that liked me and told him I hated him and almost ruined our friendship.

39: First writing prompt that comes to your head.

- AU on fake dating

40: Least favorite color.

- Purple

41: What was the last thing you got really obsessed with?

- Cutthroat Kitchen

42: What’s the weirdest experience you’ve ever had on a mind-altering substance? (prescription, recreational, otc, or food)

- Uh, got high and drunk at the same time and just felt hella fucked up

43: Shuffle up a random song on your media player. Now tell me what ship/story goes with it.

- Wowwww, its How To Save A Life by the fray, it just means someone on Grey’s is prob gonna die.

44: What’s making you happiest recently? :)

- Rach

45: What’s scaring you these days? :(

- Writing 60000 papers, will my brain turn to mush

46: Post a funny video for me.

- Too much work

47: Did you ever have a dream/nightmare that stuck with you for years?

- YES, ok make fun of me all you want, but one night I had a nightmare that a hippo chased me up a palm tree, been scared of hippos since. Absolutely the most irrational fear ever

48: What’s a movie you thought you’d hate but you turned out to love?

- Honestly, I thought I’d hate marvel movies, but I love them now that I’ve given them a try

49: Tell me a really obscure fact you know.

- There’s a spot in the brain where if someone smoke cigarettes and you injure this part of the brain, they’ll immediately quit cold turkey

50: Hot or cold?

- I hate hot weather, love the cold

51: How did your parent(s) punish you as a kid? What do you think of that?

- Taking away my phone or something I wanted to do. It was good incentive not to misbehave anymore

52: What’s something you thought was true about yourself that your feelings have changed on over the years?

- That I wasn’t smart

53: Write a story in seven words.

- uhhh

54: What is your favorite curse word?

- fuck

55: Favorite food for every color of the rainbow.

- pink - cotton candy, green - broccoli, yellow - pineapple, red -strawberry, blue - acai berry

56: If you were a poltergeist where would you haunt and what would be your preferred style of prank?

- I’d haunt my enemies, scare the shit out of them

57: What is an art style, craft, or skill that you can’t do, but you really admire in others?

- anything art like

58: What is a skill you have that people probably don’t know about?

- I can write poetry well

59: Name a pet peeve you have, and something you do that is probably a pet peeve for others.

- PEOPLE THAT CHEW WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN, uhh i click pens constantly. Sorry lmao

60: Dragons, dinosaurs, or aliens?

- dinosaurs

61: What was the last big fight you had with someone about?

- About what show to watch at dinner, with my mom.

62: Insult the asker of this question creatively.

- too lazy

63: In an ideal world, what would you like done with your body after you die?

- do that thing where i become a tree

64: Find me a weird stock photo and post it.

- no

65: What was your bedtime ritual as a kid? Did you have one?

- my dad used to come in my room and open my closet and check under my bed for monsters and yell at them to leave

66: What are the three traits you value the most in others?

- humor, loyalty, honesty

67: What are the three most interesting wild animals you’ve encountered in your life?

- manatees, elephants, trump supporters

68: What is a word you really enjoy saying?

- shitballs

69: Answer number 60 like it was a “fuck, marry, kill” rhetorical.

- dude no thats nasty

70: Describe something that happened to you today as if you were a narrator in a film noir, nature documentary, or 50s teaching video

- ummm no

71: Create five new nicknames for yourself as quickly as you can.

- hey you, asshole, gaymo, flaming homo, queerer than a deer

72: Shorts, pants, skirts, or other?

- basketball shorts, or jeans

73: What’s a song you hate and why?

- Anything by Meghan trainor or taylor swift

74: If you were a superhero, what would be your one weakness?

- id stop on my way to save people if i saw a cute puppy that id want to pet

75: Describe a weird encounter you had with a bug.

- I killed a spider yesterday that had hitched a ride in my car

[gardenglowswithdesign]

I have taken a ton of classes over the years.  Many of the classes were just to gain extra knowledge in a specific area.  The funny thing about me is that I never received an actual degree for anything.

To this day, I still feel that having that piece of paper hanging on a wall somewhere in my life would not make a bit of difference in the amount of knowledge I have accumulated.  My father always wanted me to get one; in his eyes, it was a sign of prosperity.

Please do not misunderstand, I agree that in certain fields a degree is preferable: Doctor, Lawyer, Scientist, and any profession that puts someone else’s life in your hands.  I want to know that the person that pulls me from a burning building, pulls the knife out of my leg, or protects me from a Road-Rage whack job; has had the proper training and education to handle these types of situations.

When it comes to me and professional learning institutions, we butt heads.  My first experience left me feeling that I was taking a bunch of “extra curricular” (E.C.) classes that were required, but to me felt completely useless.  I am never going to EVER use physics.  I knew it back in my early twenties and by golly, I was right.  My closest connection to it would be through the show The Big Bang Theory, which I absolutely love.  (FYI, my favorite person is Penny.)

(If you have never seen, check out the Halloween and Christmas – Bath Item Gift episodes.)

I felt that all the extra classes a person is forced to take to get that piece of paper was ridiculous, but I wanted to learn.

This was Hint #1: The thrill of  learning new things.

I took a small business class because I wanted to run a small business.  Part of the class required Accounting 101 – made perfectly logical sense to me.  As that turned out, was when I fell in love with Accounting.  I looked further into becoming a C.P.A. (Certified Public Accountant) – but then again, I would have to take all the E.C. classes – grrr.  I found that I was overly excited about learning more about Accounting, but not so much in the other gunk.

My next hint came several years later.  I had a job that was alright.  It allowed me to work in an accounting field – Bookkeeper which kept the thrill going for a while.  But I needed more and I was not sure what “more” I was looking for.  A friend told me about The Aptitude Test that the local community college provided.  The first time I took it, I had to pay ten dollars for the results.  It was all hand written back then (The old-fashioned pencil and paper type. Man, I am old – eeek!) and took about four hours to complete.

I hate tests.  Every time I take one I panic.  The normal grade school through high school tests were alright, but then I took a Speed Reading class which, as it turns out, blew it for real testing.  Yes, it taught me how to speed read, but the down side to doing it is missing the important details.  Well, I was glad to know that this was not that kind of test.  There was no judging, no grades, and no pressure to finish on time.  The test is simply to help you to understand what you currently hide in your brain, vs. things you have a passion for but may not know yet.

I received my results in the mail along with an in-depth explanation of how to read and interpret the graph.  They also included long lists of the types of jobs related to the different fields on the graph.  According to my results, I could have been in:

Customer Service (that was a given due to my waitressing years),

Accounting, or Math Related field (They had me at Accounting.)

Then it actually said that I could have been a Nuclear Physicist – me? I don’t think so Lucy!

The results even listed a Psychiatrist as a possibility.  I found this very funny because I had been a bartender several times in my life.  I used to make-sport of the fact that I should have been a Shrink after listening to everybody’s problems in the bar.  The bummer of this is I have somehow earned The Bartender Face, not by choice, it just happened.  People you do not know will just start spilling their problems at you.  I have seen others with this face.  If you have ever been a Bartender for more than six months, you will get one.

(The face on this guy tells me that he has been dong it for way too long!)

Hint 2: Understanding that I have an Impatient Passion for doing many things.

Then my ultimate favorite thing ever happened…The Age Of Computers (insert dun-dun-daa sound here!).  The amount of information a person can get, and store, was amazing.  My main thrill was not in the storage, but in the information.  One class that I did take, complete, and get a certificate in was Computers 101.  This was way back in the early 1980’s.  We got to dissect a computer just like you would a frog.  Somehow tearing the box and its guts apart was calming for me.  The whole thing boiled down to bits of metal and wires.

This was followed up by two more historic moments for me:

Having an employer that paid for all the office related computer classes that I wanted to take – so I did.

Getting to know a Computer Tech who told me: “There is nothing you can do in that computer that I cannot fix.” Best, dumbest, words ever spoken.  I made it my life task take him up on that.  During the day, I got to take all the “heater” calls.  Then, when everyone else got to go home at five, I got to work with the I.T. department.  I made him live up to that statement (for a story at another time).

The very first time I got to push buttons and see something happen I was hooked (yep, a button-a-holic also.).

10-Key by touch.

Type 100+ w.p.m.

Obsessed library researcher

Persistent question-asker.

Roll those all into one and you have me with a computer.  The best thing the computer age has brought about is learning.  There is nothing you can’t find, do, or save in a computer.  I have even taken multiple classes through my computer.  This thought led me to the final definition for a Learn-A-Holic:

Hint #3: You have several projects going at the same time.

I currently have the following:

Knitting projects

5 working

Crochet projects

7 working

Card Making

Valentines and Happy Birthday (hope to complete 20 of each by month end)

Blogging

3 working blogs, 2 of which I try to post at least once a week.

Surveys for cash

Signed up for 3 different ones with a goal to complete 1 survey on each per day.

Writing

Working on 3 how-to e-books.

Farm/gardens

Day-to-day standard duties (feed, water, clean up, and prep for next season.)

Taking online classes through Udemy

26-hour, slam-dunk class on Character Drawing.

Marketing Strategies (something I am in DIRE need of!!).

Learn how to use Canva (my fav right now).

My mind and my hands must be busy at all times!  I even find that when I sleep, my fingers still move about.  I know my mind wanders because of my various dreams.  This, to me, is the biggest part of a Learn-a-holic.

You never stop.

You do not have to go fast,

There is no set speed or time limit except for the ones you set on yourself.

You may also have several projects going on at the same time, like I do.  You maybe lucky enough to only have one big project going on, and all your being is tied up in getting it done.  It doesn’t matter how you handle it, you just have to keep learning something new or you think you will die.

This all came about because I received the following email article:

Will Traditional Colleges and Universities Become Obsolete?

I used to love going the traditional route, but for the last eight years or so, it has become faster, easier, and better doing it online.  This makes me happy and sad at the same time.

WE NEED TEACHERS!  Yes, I am yelling that out because I firmly believe it.  I can teach a few things that I know well, but I don’t believe I have the patience to be a full-time, in front of class type of teacher.  If it’s one-on-one I do OK.  This is what makes the Learn-a-holic in me feel sad.  What if shutting down the colleges, turns into no one wanting to be a teacher anymore?  How awful our world would be without them?  So I give Kudos to all those Teachers in my life – past, present, and future.  We Learn-a-holics could not survive without you!

You can also check me out on:  www.helbergfarmstories.com for fun stories from our farm.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671027034/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=helberg58-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0671027034&linkId=357cd9e82a6db4c0ed73b80a52786d27 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553386697/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=helberg58-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0553386697&linkId=0b9ec17eb443f8b0550d9763640860a3

How To Know If You Are A LEARN-A-HOLIC? I have taken a ton of classes over the years.  Many of the classes were just to gain extra knowledge in a specific area. 

[somelittlewhitelies]

1 thru 75 except 57 lol

1. Are you a side, back, or front sleeper? Side sleeper, definitely

2. When you hum random music what song is it? Probably something from Hindemith’s Symphonic Metamorphosis

3. Explain your username. I was 15 when I came up with it and I’m too lazy to come up with something better

4: Explain my username. What?

5: How did you fall into the tumblr hellpit? My friend k8 talked me into it

6: What fan interest of yours would you least prefer to explain in your workplace? Gymnastics

7: What fan interest or yours would you most enjoy explaining in your workplace? The X-Files lol

8: Last song you listened to? “Hell on Wheels” by Cher

9: Weirdest thing on your dash today? I don’t know, I scroll through my dash mindlessly the few times I actually get on anymore

10: In a perfect world, what animal would you most like to adopt? A cat

11: What animal would you most like someone else to adopt? Dogs?

12: What’s something trivial you have strong opinions about? No bake cheesecakes. Because they’re not actually cheesecakes. They’re just shitty, refrigerated desserts.

13: What would your super-villain finishing move be? Idk laughing?

14: Explain your icon. It’s my mouth

15: You meet your true love(s) today. Possibly again. Describe your ideal hilarious romcom meetcute. (can be aromantic). Umm we run into each other in line somewhere, we start talking and hit it off? Idk I’m so bad at this

16: Your comfort food, and why. Mac and cheese because why the hell not. Alternatively, the student special from Sitar because my roommate and I get it when we both have shitty days. 

17: What type of mad science will you Show Them All with? (ex: mad chemical engineer, mad library scientist, mad linguist). Which of your creations will probably turn on you?

18: Favorite cheesy trope? Idk I’m really distracted and can’t come up with one because my idiot cat keeps trying to eat q-tips

19: Favorite trope nobody writes enough of? Domestic scenes I guess?

20: Rec me a book, comic, or anime, or other piece of media you wish there were more like. Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari

21: Wierdest tumblr drama you’ve been a part of or stumbled across. Idk there’s so mych of it??

22: You know those things from a million years ago your brain suddenly reminds you to feel embarrased/guilty/bad about in full technicolor? Tell me one of them. I told one of my guy friends back in high school that I’d rather vomit than kiss him. Which wasn’t true.

23: What is something you collect? T-shirts, I guess?

24: Pens. Do you know where the one closest to you came from? Would you be distressed if someone took it? My mom bought it, so not at all

25: The last game you played is crossed with the zombie apocalypse and now going down outside your window. How boned are you? Umm terrified

26: What was the last thing that made you cry? I used to be a stone cold bitch who couldn’t cry at anything, but I’ve recently started getting emotional about amost everything lol. So yeah, it was Simone Biles’s performance on Dancing with the Stars about her adoption

27: Most embarrassing/weird/personal body thing you’re willing to talk about. I can’t taste anything on the right side of my tongue

28: Your icon is now the voice of your inner therapist. How is this gonna go? LOL NOT WELL AT ALL BECAUSE IT’S ME

29: Name a kink you only like hypothetically. Monagamy lol

30: Name a kink you find bewildering. Feet???

31: You have acquired: a mouse, a lizard, a rabbit, a spider, a domestic fox. Name them! Who gets to sleep on the bed? Mouse-Cheese. Lizard-Snake. Rabbit-Apple. Spider-AAGGGHHHH. Fox-Ace. The domestic fox sleeps on the bed

32: What was your favorite childhood toy? Do you still have it? Lincoln Logs and yes, some of them 

33: Hit “shuffle” on your media player and tell me your favorite lyric from the song that comes up. “Paranoia strikes deep/Into your life it will creep/It starts when you're always afraid”

34: What fan media (of yours or someone else’s) would you most like to see art/fic for? I don’t know, I like most types of art honestly

35: What do you ship that you think would be hard to explain convincingly to other people? Attempt an explanation. Mulder/Scully? That my only ship right now and it’s not hard to convince people to get on board with lol

36: What meme gets on your nerves? So many

37: Showers or baths? Showers 

38: Who was your biggest childhood nemesis and why? I don’t think I had one 

39: First writing prompt that comes to your head. I am so uncreative and cannot write. 

40: Least favorite color. Orange

41: What was the last thing you got really obsessed with? I’ve recently got re-obsessed with Cher because I realized that she’s gonna die one day and I got scared lol

42: What’s the weirdest experience you’ve ever had on a mind-altering substance? (prescription, recreational, otc, or food) One time in Colorado I took too many hits off a grav and I started breathing colors

43: Shuffle up a random song on your media player. Now tell me what ship/story goes with it. “Landslide” and again, I am uncreative

44: What’s making you happiest recently? :) Spending time with my best friends

45: What’s scaring you these days? :( realizing that I’m probably gonna die alone 

46: Post a funny video for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMJWL1CczMI

47: Did you ever have a dream/nightmare that stuck with you for years? Nope 

48: What’s a movie you thought you’d hate but you turned out to love? Oh god I don’t know. Probably Inception but I didn’t love it, I just liked it more than I thought I would

49: Tell me a really obscure fact you know. You can replace the strings on a french horn with dental floss if a string breaks and you’re in a pinch

50: Hot or cold? Cold

51: How did your parent(s) punish you as a kid? What do you think of that? I got time out and it was fine

52: What’s something you thought was true about yourself that your feelings have changed on over the years? I used to be a lot more conservative lol

53: Write a story in seven words. The sun shone brightly over the river

54: What is your favorite curse word? Shit

55: Favorite food for every color of the rainbow. ramen, oranges, yams, green beans, bread, indian food, vermuth ( I am so sorry I am dumb)

56: If you were a poltergeist where would you haunt and what would be your preferred style of prank? I would haunt practice room 222 in Moody and shake people’s music while they’re trying to practice

57: What is an art style, craft, or skill that you can’t do, but you really admire in others? I DID THIS ONE

58: What is a skill you have that people probably don’t know about? I’m pretty good at tie-dying?

59: Name a pet peeve you have, and something you do that is probably a pet peeve for others. Loud chewing noises

60: Dragons, dinosaurs, or aliens? Aliens

61: What was the last big fight you had with someone about? My mom about something, I don’t really remember

62: Insult the asker of this question creatively. You’re an inconsiderate son of a bitch (I’m sorry I’m so bad at this)

63: In an ideal world, what would you like done with your body after you die? I’d like my ashes to be put in a pod with a tree seed so that I can become a tree

64: Find me a weird stock photo and post it. 

65: What was your bedtime ritual as a kid? Did you have one? Wash my face, brush my teeth, get in bed

66: What are the three traits you value the most in others? Honesty, loyalty, and humor

67: What are the three most interesting wild animals you’ve encountered in your life? Snake, fox, squirrel? 

68: What is a word you really enjoy saying? Shit

69: Answer number 60 like it was a “fuck, marry, kill” rhetorical. Fuck aliens, marry dragons, kill dinosaurs

70: Describe something that happened to you today as if you were a narrator in a film noir, nature documentary, or 50s teaching video. My cat woke me up this morning by licking my face 

71: Create five new nicknames for yourself as quickly as you can. layruhs, lala, lulu, laura lou, cat mom

72: Shorts, pants, skirts, or other? Pants

73: What’s a song you hate and why? Most country songs

74: If you were a superhero, what would be your one weakness? My knees lol

75: Describe a weird encounter you had with a bug. I accidentally inhaled a gnat a week ago 

y’all this was difficult

[rachelzee143-blog]

Another Mother Against Promposals

<p>My stance on the issue of the Promposal trend was recently placed in public view when I read this blog post here: http://www.scarymommy.com/promposal-trend/</p> <p>A friend of mine, a millennial who is smart, outspoken and whom I hold in high regard responded by saying this: <blockquote>Hi I’m 22 this is sounds EXACTLY LIKE LITERALLY EVERY article by a bitter out of touch middle aged person ever. Seriously the world we’re growing up in is screwed the public education system is a shit show they deserve the whatever celebration they want for simply surviving cyber bullying, hormones, growing up, common core and deciding what to do with their lives before their brains are even done developing. You can’t make enough money working part time to put yourself through college (I would know I’m trying!) so they might not even get to finish. No degree? good luck making enough to get married or start a family, look at the people a few years older than high school seniors, millennials, people this woman’s age can’t fucking shut up about how we’re ruining everything by not getting married, buying houses and starting families AND WHY do they think we’re not doing these things?? Because we’re selfish and only want to be “free and focus on our selfies, avocado toast and careers” when the reality is we can’t afford to marry the people we love without coming under criticism for not having a dress or a church, we can barely afford the shoeboxes we do live in so a house might as well be a mermaid and if we kids living the way we do we’d never hear the end of how awful we are pawning them off on our parents because we can’t afford daycare and rent. Let these kids party as extravagantly as they please because it may be a long time before they ever seen the rest of those mile stones.“

My response? I read the article twice before posting. I have a general rule against posting propaganda that perpetuates generational divide. Because the truth is, when I was 22, it sucked just as much. For different reasons, but it sucked. When I was 22, we had new frontiers to handle. We were not certain this planet would be around long enough for us to see our own children. Would it be nuclear war? The hole in the ozone? Pollution? Many of our parents got divorced when we were young, giving way to the term "broken homes”. Ours was the first generation to have predominantly two parents working full time. We were called the latch key generation; later the more ubiquitous Generation X. We witnessed the AIDS epidemic first hand and a government try to ignore and scapegoat it away. Trust me: we had plenty on our shoulders and I remember. At 22 I had to drop out of college (lack of finances and inability to pay back loans.) I worked two full time and one part time jobs plus babysitting and lived with my parents for the next few years. When my husband and I finally got married we had been together for six years. He received some money from his grandmother to put a down payment on our house - a double, so we always have income from the upper. At a time when weddings were expected to cost 15-30k, ours cost about 6k. My mother hand sewed my dress. We got an amazing deal on tulle and other decorations from a florist that happened to be closing. We made it work. So when people lament about how great it was “back in my day”, I hesitate to get on board with that. We had the same criticisms of “kids don’t play outside” and “none of the parents understand the way their children are being taught.” We felt misunderstood by the Boomers and the Silent Gen'ers who raised us. And they felt misunderstood by the Greatest Gen'ers before them, and so forth. The struggles that occur as part of a coming of age may be painted with different medium, but they are all the same. And I don’t want to pretend that somehow my people got it all sunshine and rainbows right just because we brought the world Google and our mothers could yell for us from five blocks away to get us home in time for dinner. But this prom thing… my God, the pressure! I went to three proms (mom made those dresses too.) For the first two, I asked my dates to go with me. None of the guys I asked were even in my grade. I am quite certain nobody wanted to take a chubby weirdo like me. I cannot for the life of me imagine if the expectation had been a promposal that for me would simply never have come. The humiliation would have been crushing. Seeing others in my not quite fully developed but highly perceptive mind experience this might literally have killed me. But I did go, with nice boys who were my friends. One of which I felt compelled to bribe by buying his ticket and arranging for him to wear my brother’s vintage tuxedo. My mom tailored it for him and made him a tie and cummerbund to match my dress. (And I was rejected by the first guy I asked for that year.) [The third prom was my boyfriend’s senior prom. He actually asked me. I was in college. I married that guy.] And even then, I remember parents complaining about the unnecessary extravagance of it all - the limos, kids renting hotels… my junior prom date wore his nicest suit (not a tux) and our parents drove. For my senior prom, my dad borrowed a friend’s large van and took us to our restaurant and then to the prom. [My future husband has his own car]. I think my point is… I don’t want to take anything away from the experiences of the people who come after me. But at the same time, there is elegance in simplicity - which often gets overlooked in our youth and only more so when parents encourage it. I don’t want to take away anyone’s opportunity to celebrate and live it up. It’s just that when I look at these things, I wonder why this has to be SO big? It felt enormous when I lived it and it wasn’t this big. The expectations become even more difficult to meet. Seems like so much pressure to create a massive set up for potential disaster.

<p>Later, I spoke with my oldest daughter about this phenomenon. She is an incredible romantic who swoons at rom-coms and spent much of her earliest years enacting weddings with Barbie dolls and such. She is fourteen now and even though she is pretty certain all boys her own age are immature and gross, there is certainly a part of her that yearns for the summery sweetness of a fumbling slow dance on a dark and starry gymnasium floor, or a hand to hold while strolling through a carnival.

To no surprise, she said that these are “so cute” and “sweet”. And I get that. Some of these kids really come up with unique and fun ways to get the date.

But as the article says, when is enough enough? As a Gen-Xer myself, I tend to revolt against the mentality that somehow other generations (before or after) are wrong, or had it easier or whatever. We have all sailed uncharted waters. We have all taken risks by ignoring the warnings of our predecessors, and benefitted from them as well as failed. We have traded things along the way that have both helped and hindered our worlds equally. I believe this to be one universal truth of the whole human existence. Gen-Exers were once classified as cynical if not ambivalent, helpless, hapless and hopeless, in some ways eternal seekers - though that was not a compliment at the time. So by no means am I into speaking out against a generation. That’s just mean. <p>What I see is the nefarious underbelly of teenage expectation. For example: what if the askee still says no? What if the askee is asked by more than one person? What if the askee thinks the asker has bigger feelings than they do? What if the asker has bigger expectations in mind, since they went though all the trouble? </p> See, those problems have been there all along in the history of proms, and yet somehow the Promposal seems to amplify the stakes even more.