#I DON'T ACTUALLY WANT ANYONE TO DIE THOUGH

[zooophagous]

The world had gotten smaller since Strauss was young. Fine goods like spices, sugar and coffee were once the coveted treasures of world traders, And now they were so commonplace they were widely regarded as “cheap.”

The Himalayan Yak restaurant was not cheap. Not according to the reviews that dotted the page beneath the address on Artemis’ phone. It barked orders and directions in a flat monotone.

“In one thousand feet, turn right.”

Strauss hated that grating, tinny voice. His delicate senses were quickly being overwhelmed by it, and the encroaching scent of spices as they found the parking lot. He was unable to eat any of the food here. He wondered if his opinion of the smell would be different if he could safely taste it. 

Part of him was jealous. The smell was rich and complex. Humans had a wealth of flavor available to them. He really only had one. A metallic tang and nothing more. Though, inwardly, he was relieved by that. No surprises at dinner, and that suited him fine.

“So, Troy’s favorite is a vegan yellow curry. If there is a customer who frequently orders it, we likely have Troy cornered.”

“I sure hope you're right. I don't know how many vegans are in this town. Small town Minnesota isn't exactly chock full of them. Should make it easier to narrow down?”

“Yes. It will work. I have a good feeling about it.”

Strauss went inside first, only to wrinkle his nose and step back. The smell of spices was tolerable, yes, but the smell of garlic gave him pause. He coughed into his sleeve.

“Van Helsing. Perhaps you should do the talking.”

“Right.” She cleared her throat And approached the counter.

“Hi, how many?” The cheerful hostess greeted the sullen pair.

“Actually, I was wondering if you could help us. See, we um. We're looking for a missing person.”

“Ok?” Came the suspicious reply. 

“Do you… have anyone who orders the same thing a lot? Like especially vegan dishes? Probably for take out?”

“I'm sorry, are you with the police?”

“Well, no, but we know the person and-”

“I'm sorry, our business records aren't really something I can just show people. For privacy reasons and… Yeah.”

The hostess was visibly uncomfortable. Strauss was already nearing the end of his patience as the hot smell of cooked garlic stuck like oil to his nose and eyes and made him blink back the irritation.

“Let me try. Ahem.”

He stepped in front of Artemis rather rudely, and stared down at the much shorter hostess like a looming shadow. His voice was deep, authoritative and, as Artemis listened, oddly almost alluring. 

“Guten abend. I am Mr. White. My associate and I are private investigators working on a missing persons case. It is imperative that we get answers as multiple lives may be at stake. Our target is in grave danger, both himself and those near him may be affected. You will allow us access to records. Now.”

Artemis raised her eyebrows in surprise as the vampire worked his magic. She watched the poor dumbfounded hostess with bated breath- if she fought back at all the illusion would collapse and they might be in trouble.

The hostess stood silently for a moment before finally breaking the tension with “y-yes, ok, sorry. Here. What did you want to see?” She began fidgeting with the ipad at the counter.

Artemis breathed a sigh of relief as “Mr. White” explained what he needed. “I am looking for a customer, a frequent customer, who only orders vegan dishes. He likely orders his food ‘to-go’ and frequently orders yellow curry. He is white, young, but likely not using his real name.”

“Ok, ok. We only have a couple of regulars who only eat vegan…an-and only one of them has an address in the system.”

Strauss glared hawkishly at the iPad screen. “Should have known.”

“Should have known what?” Artemis asked.

“Take this address down and put it into your navigation system. I know where Troy is.” Strauss shook his head as if he were disappointed. He turned to the hostess who now looked dizzy, and very confused.

“Vielen dank fur die hilfe. Do not speak of us to anyone. You could jeopardize the entire investigation. Is that clear?”

“Yeah… Yes. Of course.”

“Good. A beautiful evening to you.”

He turned on his heel and marched back out into the parking lot, grateful for fresh air.

Artemis trotted after him. “You're sure you know? How? Where is he? And WHAT was that? Did you hypnotize that poor girl?”

“Yes I did. I did not harm her. I simply asked more forcefully than you did.” Strauss declined to answer the rest of the questions as he climbed into the cab and waited for the annoying robotic voice to lead them once more to their prey. 

“I cannot believe I did not think of it sooner. I am so unbelievably stupid. Hunger must have left me bereft of senses. And Troy… he is the most stupid of us all.”

Strauss grumbled in his seat.

“Wish you were a little less esoteric about this.” Artemis asked with a hint of a barb in her voice.

“Trust me Van Helsing. You will get your lycan. We are on the fastest route, and you will have your answers in seven minutes.”

The car rolled quietly down the side streets. Strauss sat looking angrier by the moment in the front seat but still saying nothing. “In one thousand feet turn right.”

Artemis slowed down for the turn. The red marker grew ever closer on the digital map until Strauss took off his seatbelt and jumped from the car while it was still in motion.

“Hey- HEY! Strauss! Where the Hell are you going?”

“He's in here.” Strauss marched up to an unassuming looking little house, hardly bigger than a bread box and shaped like one too. He pounded on the door.

A meek looking but familiar face appeared. “Mr. Strauss? You're alive?!”

“Hello Samuel. Let me in.”

Strauss didn't ask, but demanded. Sam stood back and let him enter. Strauss disappeared into the house with Artemis following behind. She exchanged wide, confused glances with Sam as she passed.

Strauss stomped into the living room with a scowl. “Hello herr Cunningham.” 

Troy sputtered on his soda, and dropped his video game controller as Strauss yanked him to his feet with a snarl.

“Do you have ANY idea how long we've been looking for you! Did you think you'd just leave us behind? Never say a word?”

“Get OFF me man!” Troy shoved his palm into the vampire's nose, Strauss reacted with a curl of his lip and a slap of his own. Back and forth, blow for blow, the slapping escalated to shoving and Strauss was sent into a wall where a framed poster fell and became a casualty in the vampire-lycan wars.

The shoving became wrestling and growling, when Strauss did something unexpected. He wrapped his arms tightly around Troy and held still, force hugging him till he stopped moving. Troy carefully reached up with his one free hand and patted Strauss on the back. “You ok there big guy?”

“No I am not ok.” Came the somewhat weepy reply. “I thought my friend was dead. And now you have returned from the grave.” 

“Hey… hey it's ok. I'm sorry.”

“Why didn't you tell us you were ok?” Artemis asked as she finally dared to enter the room with the supernatural combatants.

“It's not because I don't like you guys or anything ok? I was just going through a lot of stuff. I mean I killed a guy. And I was scared that if I tried to find you I might get caught. I sort of thought YOU were dead.”

“You could have checked before writing us off.” Strauss finally released his grip and wiped his nose messily on the back of his hand.

“You're right, you're right. But I was scared of what I might find. Scared I'd get caught myself. I thought maybe this would be a good way to… I don't know. Disappear? Lay low?”

“You should have left town then. This place is crawling with Witchfinders, and Sylvain. you're lucky you're such a shut in or you would have been caught already.”

“Yeah well. If you found me, it was only a matter of time I guess.”

“Yes. I'll have you know I used your own tricks against you, Cunningham. Baited the trap with your favorite food. You should consider expanding your culinary horizons.”

Troy huffed through his nose. “You're one to talk, Mr. White mice. How have you been getting fed lately with the Institute all busted up?”

“Largely Troy, I haven't been. That is a large portion of my problem. If I cannot find a feed I will be forced to take one. And that will most certainly be my doom.”

“So what do we do?”

“I'm glad you're using “we” here.” Artemis smiled sadly. “The short answer is, we don't know. We have to find a way to prove Strauss innocent … or else find a way to get into permanent hiding.”

She sat down on the couch with a sigh. “Neither option is easy or attractive. But the third option is to just give up.”

“You can give up. The most they will do is imprison you. Strip you of your titles or clearances. They will kill me.” Strauss replied flatly. “They will also kill Troy if they catch him. And Ursula is likely not going to survive either.”

“Right. We need to put together a plan.”

“Um. Excuse me.”

Strauss, Troy and Artemis turned to Sam, who stood in the doorway looking awkward.

“Um. Can I um. Can I get you guys anything to drink? Or a snack? I don't have any uh… any blood I can give you but I have water, coffee, soda, beer…”

Strauss looked at his companions and then back to Sam. “I will take that beer. Perhaps we all need one. It will be a long evening.”

[ven0moir]

Clearing the air on the “Bychance vs Byler Civil War”

Bylers vs Bychancers? More like Bylers & Bychancers vs The Miscommunication Trope ( something like that ).

Why this is what i think is actually going on:  

This is NOT Mileven vs Byler 2.0 at all because bychance has not ONCE been proposed as a replacement for Byler, at least not from myself or @cypherheartnokey which are ( as far as im aware ) the main people theorizing about it right now. I personally don’t even see it as a real ship, but that’s just me. 

HOW THIS WHOLE THING STARTED ( as far as i know )

So a few days ago, i made this post:

I used the Byler tag and have continued to do so bc skeptic ( and even full on anti-bychance ) Bylers were my intended TARGET AUDIENCE for this. I knew there was a risk I would get some hate for taking it seriously since Bychance was never supposed to be more than just a silly and fun crackship that the fandom made up. (😭im not even gonna pretend I don't go into laughing fits over how absolutely bonkers I sound to myself most days. cypherheartnokey and others --you pookies know who you are <3-- who See The Things Im Seeing keep me sane istg my ride or die fr ) 

It was just supposed to be a fun writing exercise to see if my current ideas held up under scrutiny from bylers. To test myself, basically. 

MY INITIAL ASSUMPTION 

Before I posted, I thought the risk of getting dogpiled on & getting called 'delusional' & whatever else was worth it bc, to my surprise, my earlier Bychance analyses had been well received–even though some of the Bylers engaging with them don’t really think Bychance will happen, they still think the theories about it are entertaining and fun to read and offer input on. This has led to some interesting conversations about Mike and Will’s arcs, and it’s been nice through this content drought. 

However, what i did NOT anticipate was to cause a ‘ship war’--I really didn’t think this would cause harm and that anyone would stoop so low as to send death threats over differing opinions on hypothetical ships that may or may not even happen in the show & even if they do, nothing guarantees they’ll happen in a way we’re perfectly happy with, let’s please be real about our expectations here since we have 0 control over the creative direction the duffers will actually take. 

All we can hope for is that us Bylers truly are amongst their intended target audience and that the show delivers a satisfying closure.  

MY INTENTIONS & WHY I WILL CONTINUE TO USE THE BYLER TAG ( with discretion )

Using the Byler tag allows like-minded Bylers to find my theories–without the tag, it'd be harder for them to find them. 

However, I WILL be extra thoughtful with my use of the tag going forward, and make sure I'm using it when the conversation centers Byler/Mike/Will and other themes pertaining to Byler.

MY CURRENT STANCE

for anyone receiving death threats or insults on behalf of “bychance shippers”, you DO NOT deserve that. Please report and block, if possible. these people are saboteurs, and just want to stir drama without caring about the harm they cause to the community. In fact, they probably enjoy it tbh. 

i do also have to say that i am no authority here and cannot be tone policing other bychancers. i also can’t pretend i am entirely neutral in this scenario since from what I've observed, my bychance mutuals and anons are REACTING to hate we’re getting from bylers. And whereas I'm aware that type of hate is only coming from a handful of people in the community, not all of us will be patient and graceful at all times, we’re human after all.

I dont care if a mileven calls me delusional, i laugh. But when bylers i have admired and learned from for years call one of us stupid for thinking/suspecting X theory might be hinted at and getting stomped on for trying to bring the conversation to the table, yeah I can't guarantee that's not gonna trigger a defense mechanism over time.

Do you personally have to like Bychance or agree? Absolutely not, nobody is saying that. And good faith critiques of the theory are always welcomed and I actually encourage it in my space as long as we keep it civil and follow fandom etiquette, since it keeps fandom alive.  

FINAL THOUGHTS 

The very message of the show we’re discussing is to choose love in the face of fear, and to not let it drive our choices and unawarely continue to feed the cycle of abuse and trauma. Let's do our best to not keep repeating, amongst each other, what we have already been subjected to by the most hateful parts of the ST fandom. 

i'm here to learn and have fun, not to cause wars, discourse or division--bychance as a theory is just the jumpstart and can change over time and maybe even become something else entirely. the goal is just to open the door for those curious enough to investigate, share and discuss any findings. Whether or not you go in, it's up to you. Just don't be mean to the ones that do.

[zelda-of-hyrule-tloz]

Some thoughts on Link's mother in Ocarina of Time:

In Ocarina of Time, we're told very little about Link's mother. All we know in-game is that, to escape the civil war, she escaped with an infant Link to the Kokiri Forest, gave her baby to the Deku Tree, and presumably died soon after.

If anyone could ride in and take shelter in the Kokiri Forest, how come she was the only one? How come the woods, specifically all the way to the Deku Tree, was her first thought? I don't believe many NPCs in Ocarina of Time refer to spirits (besides poes) much. Maybe everyone who would've known died, either in the war or during the coup?

Well, I think I have a slight idea.

We know the Kokiri do not leave the forest because, if they do, they "die." This either refers to becoming Stalfos or Skull Kid if one is lost in Lost Woods, or the fact they start to age if they go anywhere else. The Deku Tree's magic is what keeps them children forever, isn't it?

So, what if Link's mother was one of the Kokiri who left? She left the woods, grew up, and married a Hylian knight. Perhaps she even became one herself. When the war was at its peak, the only safe place she knew of left was one where death was null... And she wanted a safe childhood for Link.

(Not to mention, I'm pretty sure Link's mother becomes a tree in one of the Nintendo Power comics...? The German one?)

She definitely wasn't the first Kokiri to leave the woods, but she may just have been the last. Link doesn't seem to have any recent memory of something like that actually happening. Really, I imagine none of the Kokiri really understood what the warning of death meant until Link's mother returned. They finally saw her again after all that time, and she was different. Not only was she different, but her time ran out at the Deku Tree's roots. Though her growing up proved she truly lived, it was still cut short in only a matter of moments. Was it worth it? Did she think it was worth it? Maybe that's why Saria seems to be the most bittersweet about Link leaving. She probably allowed herself to understand what it meant.

All of this considered— Maybe the reason the Deku Sprout says Link isn't a Kokiri, but Hylian, is because he doesn't possess all of the same connection to magic and the forest? Because his mother gave up that life in the woods to become Hylian?

Still, it's quite funny to think of how this affects Link. Hyrule Historia isn't a reliable source for the lore whatsoever, but if OoT Link really is the Hero's Shade (I like to imagine he is), the reason he didn't stop growing until he died could be a Kokiri thing. Perhaps the only part of him that is "Kokiri" by then. Aging Kokiri still once were children of the Deku Tree, so maybe they always grow like one too. (I'm loving the idea that his mom was super tall now).

SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE I JUST COULD NOT GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD!!! I'm probably missing some details somewhere, I'm sure, but I think this is the headcanon I'll lean towards for now. :)

[g-glitchy-v2]

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

(Click to read more about MemorySwap) ⤵

⊹ ࣪ ˖ HAD TO REPOST DUE SOME STUPID SHI SORRY 🙏🙏 (Im losing it.)

—

[SINCE TUMBLR DECIDED TO BE A F#CKING BA#STRAD, I CAN'T ADD THE DAMN LORE HERE. IM SO SORRY Y'ALL. (I tweaked out so hard that i hit my own face.)]

(So basically, Chara is a smol child that's trying to be nice as much as they can and carrying Temmie around, while Temmie is a smol scared fluffball that's just too tired. Asgore is a good father and deserves tons of hugs. Frisk misses MK so much and is seeing nightmares as Asriel does his best to cheer up his dad and sibling and is trying to comfort Frisk and help most of the monsters in underground. Creepy is the new lead of the royal guards and is getting cooking lessons from Asgore as Toriel treats her like shit. Papyrus is chill and lazy ahh, not even doing anything other than sleeping, smoking and drinking. Muffet is also chill and a nice person even though she looks grumpy and serious, and monsters turn eachother to dust in her bar. Grillby is too shy to get out of his house and his house is his comfort place, and some fucking monsters are making made up rumors to make others think he's bad when he's actually not. Mettablook is an total *sshole i hate him so much he's such a jerk and loves to make fun of people because he thinks he's better when he's just a fucking b*stard. Napstaton is just a smol baby that deserves the world, and since Undyne is dead, nobody is able to fix body as it gets older and more damaged, meaning he'll be trapped in that body if it completely gets broken. Undyne died because she was a backstabber and was too hungry for attention, and deserved to die since she betrayed her only friend. Alphys died because of Undyne, maybe she wasn't the best monster in the underground but still wasn't that bad and was the one training Creepy before her death. Toriel is a b*tch and i also hate her, she's the worst queen, wife and mom ever. And lastly, Monster Kid just deserved better because he couldn't even live his life properly since SOMEONE forced or fed him with those buttercup flowers, and now he's Temmie, but doesn't remembers anything.)

—

In case if you wanna check the more detailed versions ⬇️

-> Chara

-> Temmie & Asgore

-> Frisk & Mettablook

-> Papyrus

-> Creepy(Sans)

-> Muffet

-> Napstaton

-> Asriel & Grillby

-> Alphys

-> Undyne

-> Toriel & MK/Monster kid

—

> I don't think if i really have to make a "If you're wondering;" part in here too, since there's nothing much to add. I mean, yeah, Sans is a girl in MemorySwap, just like how it was in MemoryTale. And instead of her and Papyrus being "Skele-bro's", they both are "Skele-siblings". And, even though MemorySwap looks like a "swap au" for MemoryTale, it's actually not since some things aren't really swapped, and is actually changed. (For example; In MemoryTale, Muffet isn't a shy spider who stays in her house the whole time, but in MemorySwap Grillby IS. In MemoryTale, Papyrus is actually nice, but in MemorySwap, Creepy(Sans) isn't really that nice. In MemoryTale Memory(Sans) has anger issues, but in MemorySwap, Papyrus is pretty chill and wouldn't give a shi if the world is burning.) If i remember that i forgot to add smth, i'll just make a small "Update" and add it here so y'all can know :D (Ofc, if anyone is reading these all-)

—

About ships –

Toriel x Asgore – Well, fuck no. Toriel was never a good wife, mother and queen. She's still blaming Asgore for leaving her, not even wanting to accept that it was because of her. Asgore deserves better. No.

Any ship that includes Papyrus in it – Well, eh- Because Papyrus is so insufferable. I mean, this man is too lazy to tie his shoe laces. If you wanna be in a relationship w him, you gotta do ALL THE SHITS and im %100 sure this man would never finish the tasks you give him. He wouldn't even get up and come to you if you asked him to. I don't think anyone could tolerate him when he's like this. So, i don't really prefer to put him into ships. It would be like taking care of a baby since he's a grown ass man that doesn't even does any of the chores. And, i don't want him to get shipped w any of the other Papyruses 🙏 (Im not a REALLY fan of fontcest sooo....) So, no.

Any ship that's: Creepy x [Anyone from MemorySwap] – No. Because others are either too older than her or is too younger than her. I don't like it when the age gap is more than 3-4. So, no.

Any ship includes Mettablook in it — NO. JUST NO. THIS MAN IS A F*CKING *SSHOLE. DON'T PUT HIM IN ANY SHIPS. PLEASE. NO.

Undyne x Alphys — No. Undyne already can't feel any emotions properly. Not like being emotionless but ehhh- She's aroace. And shipping these two is not healthy. Undyne literally betrayed her and caused both of their deaths. No.

Any ship that includes Frisk, Chara, Asriel, Temmie, Monster Kid – NO. Do i have to explain myself? I don't think so. NO.

Memory x Creepy – Well, these two don't get along well and hate eachother. And since my "Sanses" don't really count as "Sanses" for a reason, shipping my "Sanses" doesn't really makes this "Sanscest". AND even though i prefer yuri over yaoi(i hate it.), no. Don't ship these two. C'mon y'all they hate eachother. Not like enemies to lovers shit. Im talking about HATE. I mean, imagine a classmate that keep annoys you, calls you names, makes fun of you, bullies you physically and makes you get embrassed infront of everyone. You would hate that *sshole, wouldn't you? Yeah u would. That's how Memory treats to Creepy. Respectfully, no.

Grillby x Muffet – HEALL YEAHHHJH– *cough* Yes. Well, im not a fan of every Muffet x Grillby but well, hear me out. These two give(at least in this au) girly boss and "give me attention and i'll explode" ahh grown ass man vibes. (To me, at least). They could be shipped, not a canon ship though. I mean, just approved by me ig. But not canon. Idk. *Slams hand to table* APPROVED. ✅️✅️

—

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Im tired y'all. Tired of writing these all over and over. Im tired of my life. F*ck this shit. I need to draw but im not allowed to because my mom isn't comfortable with the shit im drawing. She's acting like im drawing nsfw sh*t or smth. I hate my life. And hate my family. And hate myself. I wrote lots of sh*ts here but it kept getting deleted. I don't wanna keep write every single shit here AGAIN. I don't even know if anyone is reading these sh*ts. It's just pressing a small heart shaped button but it means so much to me. Im having another breakdown rn bc im tired. If you're reading these all, thank you. You're awesome buddy. Im tired. Really tired. It feels like im talking to a brick wall. Hey brick wall🧱. How's yo wife? Good? Damn. Brick by brick. (Im mentally i'll.)

(Sorry for any grammar issues- I read these again and again but i sometimes miss some small mistakes so if there's any, sorry about it 🙏)

[lemotmo]

You've all earned a break 💚

Okay, so I posted yesterday that I was going to turn anon off because I am not spending this hiatus like I have spent the last two. I'm so glad I did because yeah I'm not going to play this game with people. As soon as I saw Kristen was a co-writer my expectations plummeted. This is not an anti post, but I will die on the hill that Kristen should not have any part in writing big episodes. She's not shown she's capable of doing that in any way that is worthy of the episode for years now. Stop giving them to her. It was a fine episode. It was a GREAT Chimney episode. But it felt like a mid-season finale, not a season finale. Her pacing is terrible. You can see what they're trying to set up, so I give them that. But the reality is the last minute addition of the Bobby storyline killed the season. It entirely halted all other story threads that they had actually been building for the season. It was a really good season, right up until episode 15. Once again Tim decided to rewrite the entire back half of a season, just like he did last season, and by his own admission he did it on a whim. And it killed the season for a second season in a row. It was shaping up to be an amazing season. And he took a buzzsaw to it for reasons no one seems to know. They officially have a Tim problem and it needs addressing. I do think they will ship him off to the spinoff though. A brand new show requires consistency in storylines because you have to establish the characters and the story threads, which he needs to be forced and reminded of how to do. So let him go.

My colleague not so patiently reminded me today that the entire point of Upfronts is to sell the next season of television, not the current season. He is correct, and I'm annoyed at myself for not keeping that in mind this past week, but I, like everyone else, got swept up in the Ryliver tour. That being said, they are clearly going there with Buddie. And I don't want any of it skipped or rushed through, that was my one complaint about Bathena, they spoke in one episode and bam they were dating the next. I don't want that with Buddie. I want all the buildup. But they have to stop kicking the storyline into the next season. They've officially started the actual storyline so I'm assuming we will see that play out next season.

The Bobby stuff is dumbfounding. It was so terribly done that I mostly still don't buy it. So we shall see. Anyway we're all free for the next 2 months so please log off and go outside and touch grass. Take a break. We've all earned it. 🩷

Thank you Nonny. ❤️❤️❤️

I already laid it all bare in my episode review post. You can find my thoughts there. Most of them are similar to Ali's.

Have a nice hiatus break fandom. We've earned this one. We went through some highs and lows and came out okay on the other end of it. Keep in mind that this is a TV-show and you can absolutely step away for a while if you feel the need to do so.

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[bawmbo]

this is so real, it gets me so bad

admittedly i am a little bit of a hypocrite and have a few characters i haven't read about but write for, all in private though.

a few good examples of that too though would be like. all of killer's fandom characterization. genuinely all of it. (sorry) (i have a massive problem with it) (you're allowed to have fun i'm all for that and i think that's cool i'm just going to scroll past it but i'm also going to complain)

@nullandvalid is going to talk about killer specifically though so i'm going to rant about other examples (i love you kiss)

horror and dust (to my knowledge, i'm not versed on dust's character) are not actually canonically affiliated with nightmare. the only two who are, are cross (briefly) and killer

horror does not eat people. i'm not sure why, and i don't know how common it is, but i do see it around occasionally? he has canonically not eaten in 7 years and swears not to eat humans. one of the purposes of killing aliza is to feed papyrus

horror is also not always mellow. i think he barks in the woods at aliza as a means of scaring her actually. (i'd actually love to see some bad sans representations with him being as off the walls as he is in some of his moments)

horror also doesn't actually fight with an axe, he fights with something like an oversized hip bone (if i remember right) (and some interesting fun facts is that he can also, for some reason, explode people's heads and can't die. he has technically been killed but got back up on behalf of his eye still existing (if i also remember right) (i apologize because i haven't actually read them in a while so correct me if i'm wrong))

admittedly with horror, i have my own guilty pleasures and roleplay him as a mix of head canons and canon aspects and whatnot but i digress... love that freak, off of him

ink can still feel emotions in the typical sense, or in other words, they still exist as a functioning thing to him. he isn't pretending or playing.

more commonly talked about so i don't know that i'd consider it but error is not actually a guardian or god in any sort of sense. he has assigned himself this job

ink wasn't also assigned the guardian of creation title by anyone but himself. (he claims himself to be the guardian of creation, wasn't assigned, in other words)

cross... is bisexual... papaya (x!papyrus) isn't transphobic...... he also isn't actually a dog in any obedient sense of the word. he denies any sort of resemblance to being "sans" because he doesn't just want to be deluded. he's stoic and a loser and his characterization is hard so i don't really know how to describe it

cross and ink are gay (i'm joking) (that's a headcanon) (but they were, at least, friends at some point. they don't absolutely hate each other, they have a complicated dynamic)

cross is not a swap sans (entirely), he's based off of classic and swap. i'm pretty sure xgaster pulled from underswap as a code reference

blueberry..............

also, blueberror! everyone forgets about him, that's not too related to the post but it's important to me. i love him. i love him so dearly. he means so much to me. please more blueberror. come home

fun fact, error actually isn't the most dangerous threat either. error!undyne is confirmed to be far more dangerous than he is.

i Too am guilty of going off of headcanons for characterizations entirely and i want to re-emphasize yippee all cheers for creative freedom but there's a short list. of some. i think i have more but i'd have to think reall yhard

I think the undertale fandom has a problem {especially in the past} with spreading misinformation because no one actually chose to read the canon material and just keep saying headcanons as canon

[number-one-shadisper-shipper]

Okay I watched the Hunger Games for the first time and.... um. OW. WHY. but also

Sonic Hunger Games AU

Like:

Katniss: Sonic

Prim: Tails

Peeta: Amy

Gale: Sally

Haymitch: Knuckles

Effie: Rouge

President Snow: Eggman

Rue: Charmy

Thresh: Vector

Cato: Jet

Clove: Wave

Finnick: Shadow

Mags: Maria

THIS HURTS MY SOUL anyways someone make this happen I want art and oneshots but I'm overwhelmed with other projects

[sysig]

Justify away (Patreon)

[nyan-bynary]

I'm gonna have to wait out a few weeks to be able to complain about jjk's ending bc rn half the ppl are bashing everyone who expected more as ppl who just wanted gojo back

[ourceliumnetwork]

me, the symptoms experiencer, experiencing symptoms: wow gee i wonder what the fuck is happening right now i have no context for why i could possibly feel bad, surely i'm not experiencing symptoms. me, when i figure out it's the symptoms:

[classicslesbianopinions]

i love how every time i see the antigone poll on my dash antigone is steadily getting more and more votes/percentage youre doing good work here

no the most gratifying moment of my entire life was checking the post every few minutes and seeing the number tick up i won't lie... and like i literally am so tired of tumblr brackets and i don't think they matter and i think they say way more about which subsets of people 1. are active on tumblr and 2. are following the specific bracket blog but also like... i literally cannot watch my βλωρβη (greek woman blorbo) lose a most tragic poll to a character who's not even dead.*

*captain jack is exempt from the "must be dead" clause because being alive forever is also tragic because it's all about how your time isn't working right/doesn't sync up with other people's <- thing i just made up but i stand by it <- also thing i can try and elaborate on later when the next door neighbors aren't vibrating my skull into oblivion with their sound system

[moe-broey]

It is so fucking dire. My dream. Of Summer Sharena. Over. Sniped. By my most hated banner of all fucking time. I have so many problems. This is going to be torture. Crafted for me, specifically. She is undeniably adorable. A duo w Veronica is undeniably adorable. This is like a Saw trap to me. I'm dying in a fucking Saw trap right now.

[a-passing-storm]

I literally cannot find one single platonic Gale & Reader fic!

[tardis--dreams]

I should call the doctor's office *calls, in tears* *they don't pick up* oh thank GOD above- i should call the doctor's office *shaking and throwing up while calling* *they don't pick up* oh hell yeah! I should call the doctor's office *calling* please don't pick up please don't pick up please don't pick up ple *they don't pick up* I'm so happy rn! Aw fuck i still need to call the doctor's office though ㅠㅠ *they don't pick up* ah well i tried my best I'll just ask in person on friday when I'm there anyway (((:

My mother: *shakes head disappointedly*

[sassypotatoe1]

Like all of this but also me when the pmdd makes me d during my p

me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!

[dollfacefantasy]

can't get started ♡

older bf!logan howlett x fem!reader

logan can't get it up one night and is humiliated. but that just means he'll have to prove he can still satisfy you.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, daddy kink, age gap (reader in 20s)

a/n: the part in dpw where he said he's got whiskey dick with the claws turned me on too much tbh

This had never happened to Logan before.

That wasn't a lie he was telling you to make himself look less pathetic. It wasn't an affirmation he repeated in his own head to feel like he was still hot shit. It was the truth. One he would swear to on anything.

He'd never had a problem getting it up before.

Not with you, not with anyone. He thought the healing factor made him immune to whiskey dick or any kind of down-there dysfunction. But apparently not. Because the two of you finally had some time alone after being amidst the chaos of the mansion all day and his body was stalling.

The second he had the bedroom door shut, you were dragging him over to the bed and climbing into his lap. You were doing everything like usual. Your lips pressed against his, and then moved to his jawline and down his neck. Your hands glided across the firm muscles of his chest. Your hips rolled down against his lap, beckoning the appendage between his legs to reciprocate your desire.

But it just wouldn't. He tried to make it because it wasn't a matter of not wanting you. He wanted you bad. 

He grabs your chin and brings your lips back up to his mouth so he can communicate his passion wordlessly. He digs his fingers into your hips, feeling the beginnings of where your flesh swells into your ass. He envisions how you'd been prancing around the whole day, cute tits pushing against the fabric of your t-shirt and calling out for him to grab.

You're so soft and warm. The little mewls that leave your lips sound like calls of angels up above. It doesn't matter though. His cock had clocked out for the night.

"God damnit," he grumbles before brushing you off his lap and bringing his fist down against the mattress. He sighs and his head hangs.

He can already sense the look on your face. Worry, hesitation, and affection swirling into one humiliating look. He feels your hand find his shoulder, the touch tender and accepting.

"It's ok, Logan. We don't have to," you say. Your tone is so soft and gentle, and it just drives him fucking nuts.

"But you want to," he says and looks over at you. The look in your eyes kills him. He knows you don't mean it, but it looks so patronizing. As if he's an old dog about to be taken out back and old yeller'd.

"Yeah but I don't want you to force yourself. We can just cuddle," you offer, sweet as can be.

"It's not forcing, I want to do this. I want you so bad," he says and cups your cheek. He pulls you back onto his lap and nuzzles your neck. "Been thinking about this all day."

You let out a little sigh as he lays some kisses on the column of your throat, and that gives him a spark of hope. Maybe he can do this. Maybe he doesn't have to be put out to pasture just yet. The two of you make out and grind and feel each other up some more. But eventually your tits are all but in his face and his dick still doesn't have a pulse.

He huffs and pulls back. 'Fuck, I'm sorry, sweetheart," he says.

You watch him, the gleam in your eyes as adoring as ever. It was the same look you gave him when you'd have to explain a basic function of a cell phone to him.

"It's ok. You don't have to be embarrassed," you reassure and lean in to peck his cheek.

He groans and gently brushes you off. "Don't. I don't need you coddling me."

"I'm just saying. I understand," you say with conviction, hands splaying on your chest to physically convey your empathy, "It happens to lots of guys when they get older. You don't have to be ashamed of it with me."

And in that moment, he wishes he didn't have his mutation so he could just die on the spot from being utterly mortified. He'd actually have preferred if you laughed in his face and called him an old man. A sad, old, perverted fuck who decided to date some half his age even though he couldn't keep up with her appetite. If you'd told him you were gonna find someone who could satisfy you, it probably would've stung less than being talked to like a patient who doesn't know their cancer is terminal.

There was no chance in hell, you'd ever do any of that though. As much as he hated that fact right now, it was part of why he loved you.

All he does is mumble a thank you and kiss the corner of your mouth. He doesn't just cuddle you after though. He gets you off on his thigh. You were still going to cum even if he couldn't. When you're done, he holds you close and rubs your back till you're sleeping curled up to his side.

His night isn't very restful though. It's haunted with the prospect of future incidents like this, of your perception of him changing. The look in your eyes changing from admiration to pity.

He can't live with that. The next day for the two of you is super busy, but he makes sure there's a spot at the end of it for him to secure his redemption.

This time around it's him carting you away from the others once the sun is down, mouth on the curve of your neck before you even reach the bedroom. His hands grope your waist and paw at your tits. You stumble into the door, bumping it loud enough that you'd be worried about someone hearing you if they weren't all downstairs.

"Logan..." you giggle. You push your ass back against him and glance at him out of your peripheral.

"Not what you're gonna be calling me before the night is done, sweet thing," he grunts and boosts you up.

Your legs press into his sides to support yourself as he opens the door. He takes the two of you inside and kicks it shut behind him before heading to the bed and tossing you on the mattress.

You look up at him with a coy smile, arms propping you up and one of your legs extended to entice him.

"You know... you don't have to prove anything to me, right?" you say.

"Oh, I don't?" he asks and grabs your ankle, pulling you to the edge of the bed so your hips meet, "You're too easy to please, babydoll."

Another laugh bubbles through your lips. Your legs drop to lock around his waist. "I'm just saying. It's like totally normal, and I don't want you to get all grumpy about it."

"Oh, I get grumpy, do I?" he asks as he leans over you. His large body envelopes yours on the mattress. He ducks down further to swallow your words up with kisses.

You hum into the exchange but pull back a little to finish your thought.

"Mhm, you do. And I just don't want you to feel that way cause I knew when we got together what I was getting into," you say.

Your confidence is so cute. You talk with absolute certainty, like you understand all there is to be understood about him. Like you'd known him forever and he hadn't been doing things like this for decades longer than you walked this earth.

His mouth crashes against yours again, his body weighing down on you and crushing you into the mattress. 

"You did, hm? You knew what you were getting into? You got with me thinking I wouldn't be able to give it to you how you need all the time?" he mutters against your skin.

"I didn't mean it like-"

"Didn't mean it like that? How'd you mean it then, sweetheart?"

"I dunno..."

"Doesn't sound like you knew what you were getting into to me," he breathes.

That little sentence that you'd said in an attempt to comfort him unlocked something between the two of you. He felt his cock waking up and pressing against his zipper, eager to get out and slide home. It's hard to register your clothes being pulled off when he's got his tongue in your mouth and his fingers playing with your clit. In no time at all, he's got the both of you bare and his cock nestled between your thighs.

Like he already knew, the issue last night had never been about lack of desire. And he intended to prove that to you, fuck you so good it wiped your memory of any placating word that fell from your lips.

He ruts into you hard. The mattress rocks on the bed frame and threatens to slide off. His dick is big and even though it's not a new sensation for you, each time you take it is a stretch. It's even more so when he pushes you up by the back of your knees. You whine as you're folded in half. His thrusts hit your sweet spot every time at this angle.

"Thought you knew what you were getting into?" he teases as he pistons himself in and out.

You mewl and bob your head, though you aren't sure if you're shaking your head or nodding.

"Fuckkkk, Logan. 'm sorry," you pant. Your walls squeeze tight around his shaft as your eyes close up. He made every part of your body contract and feel like it was moments from exploding.

He simply laughs at your apology. "Don't gotta be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just showing you what happens when I get older."

His balls hang heavy and swing with each motion, clapping against your ass. The heat between your legs is enough to make you squirm. Constant whimpers pour from your lips as he fucks into you without mercy.

"I know," you moan, "You fuck me better than anyone else."

"That's right," he grunts, "Nobody else could fuck you like this. Just me."

"Mhm, just daddy," you slur and cling onto him tighter. Your arms hook around his neck and keep his sweaty skin flush against yours.

"Just daddy," he repeats, his tone smooth like silk despite his raspy voice, "You don't need anyone else. Not when I can take care of you like this."

His tip prods at your cervix, making you yelp and buck. He doesn't stop though, just keeps battering into you, hammering into your warm, wet hole.

"You don't need any little boys thinking they know how to handle you," he breathes and nuzzles your neck, "Your old man can handle you just fine, make you cum whenever you need."

A strangled cry leaves your lips. Your nails dig into his back so hard that it seems like you wanted to draw blood. His words just make you melt for him. Reduce you down to a compliant jumble of flesh for him to mold and play with how he wants.

"Needa cum right now, daddy," you whine.

"I know you do, spoiled girl. You act so understanding, but I know that little pussy is aching to cum around my cock. To get filled up with my cum," he murmurs.

You nod wildly.

He chuckles at your eagerness and snaps against you even harder.

"Hold on tight, baby," he whispers.

His hips ricochet off your ass, clapping against you with intensity that borders on violent. You squeal and hang on as directed. Your whole body rocks with his momentum. Your head bobbles around like it's empty, which it is. Empty of everything but him.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," you whimper.

"Let it out for me. Let me feel you burst, pretty girl," he grunts as he continues plowing into you.

Your body rolls. Your hips vibrate with the ecstasy release brings you. It crashes over you in one intense wave, like a gallon of liquid euphoria being poured over you. Your eyes flutter, and you bury your face in his neck like he has his in yours.

He fucks you through it. Coos in your ear too. "That's my baby. My sweet girl. Always sound so pretty when you're cumming."

One of your hands flies up to clutch at his thick, dark hair. Keeping him close keeps the words flowing.

"Getting so tight for me, fuck. No one can make me cum like you, honey. Drains me dry every fucking time."

Moments later he spurts into you, unloading thick ropes of his spend inside you. You let out another moan from that sensation alone. He growls and pants against your skin, his hands locking you in place as his hips pummel into your cunt and make sure every last drop has been released.

He lingers on you for a few moments before pulling out. His body feels loose in the afterglow. He stands at the edge of the bed and looks down at himself and then you. He knows he's gonna have to clean you up. Your inner thighs are shimmery with a mix of fluids, and the bush of dark hair at the base of his cock is in the same condition.

"Time to shower, baby?" he asks and pats your leg. You don't respond at first and he smirks. "Or did I tire you out too much?"

You whine something incoherent and shift to turn your face against the blankets. His smug look grows. He crawls over you again and nips at your jaw, rubbing his nose against your cheekbone.

"You know, it's ok, sweetheart. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's totally normal for pretty little things like you. I knew that going in."

His tone mimics your soft and understanding one from earlier. You make a little growl and swat at his bicep.

“Shut up, old man.”