#I CAN SEE THE ACTUAL POST IN MY ACTIVITY BUT IM NOT OPENING UNTIL IM DONE WITH THE TWO ASKS SO I CAN ENJOY IT AHAJSGKSGSJDG

[kittykittyanon]

*waves this in ur face* >: 333

BARKING. BARKING LOUDLY. ITS 7AM I HAVE AWOKEN LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT—

[noodlemoondle]

Sleep Aid ♡

Zayne x Reader ~ fluff ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з

word count: 1.2k

description: after a boring day at work you find yourself unable to sleep at night when you suddenly receive a message from zayne questioning why you’re still awake and offering to come over. after denying and trying to keep him at his home you are now getting out of bed late at night to let your graciously kind (and insanely stubborn) boyfriend into you’re home to help you sleep.

author’s note: hihi everyone!!! this is the first fanfic i’m ever actually posting! kinda confused a bit on how tumblr works so im sorry if the formatting is off but i think it’s all good other than that. i’m using this to test the waters on making a fic acc bc i’ve been waning to get on the writer’s side of it and not just the reader’s lolol. lmk ur thoughts and opinions id love to hear! hope u enjoy!!! ヾ(^▽^ヾ)

(p.s. this has been sitting in my notes app for a while so i’m so sorry for any grammar errors! i also apologize for the shitty title i’m not good at coming up with those T_T )

it was around 1 in the morning and you couldn’t sleep. you weren’t really sure why either you just couldn’t do it. not like you didn’t try, sleep just didn’t want to take you. you didn’t necessarily mind though, you weren’t scheduled to come in the next day. so instead of just fighting to fall asleep, you just decided to mindlessly scroll on your phone until you felt tired enough to actually go to bed.

hugging a pillow and facing the wall, you’ve been scrolling for god knows how long. until suddenly you received a message.

zayne: why are you still awake?

taken aback by the sudden text, your eyes slightly widen. you stare at the notification for a moment in disbelief until you receive another

zayne: don’t ignore me and act like you’re asleep. i can see that you’re active on moment posts.

well there goes your brilliant plan on ignoring him until the sun rises pretending to be asleep all along.

you: stalker

you: also i just so happened to not be able to fall asleep what’s your excuse hm?

zayne: i just got back from the hospital half an hour ago and got ready to go to bed and noticed someone up past her bedtime.

you: bedtime? i’m not 5 🙄

you: plus i don’t have work tomorrow so i can go to bed whenever

zayne: not necessarily. what time you go to bed also plays a factor in your rest not just how long it is.

you: blah blah blah. i’ll be fine. i have been trying to though!!! i just can’t fall asleep for whatever reason :P

zayne: would you like me to come over?

you: no!!!!!

you: i mean i appreciate the offer but i promise im ok! i’ll get tired eventually and fall asleep it’s just not right now. and you should go to bed you had a long shift and need to rest.

zayne: i’m not going to make a comment on your poor sleeping habits, but i dont mind heading over. sleeping with you helps me rest better anyways.

you: 😉

zayne: not like that.

you: 🙄

you: whatever. don’t come over i swear i’ll be fine and i’ll go to bed eventually! 😁

zayne: …

zayne: i’ll be there in 15.

you: ZAYNE!!! 🤬

just as he said 15 minutes later you hear a knock on your door. annoyed, you grumble and stomp over to the door to let him in.

you open the door making sure not to hide the sour look on your face, emphasizing the displeasure of him coming all this way. the moment you open the door a smile tugs on his lips, despite the upset look on your face. he chuckles and leans down to kiss the top of your head.

“hello, dear” he says against your hair. before he walks into your apartment.

“why are you here?” you quickly say with your bottom lip sticking out in a pout with your arms crossed over your chest.

“i thought i made it aware. you can’t sleep.” he states as he brushes a few strands of hair out of your face and behind your ear.

“but i already told you im fine!!! go back home. it is all good here.” you say like a child , attempting to swat away his hand and starting to try and push him out the door.

“what if i said that i couldn’t sleep?” zayne says as he slightly cocks his head to the side at you with a soft smirk.

you pause in your tracks, trying to think of something to respond, knowing exactly what he’s doing. the gears try to slowly turn in your head until you look up at him, and you see him looking back down at you with a knowing grin showing he already got what he wanted.

“…fine.” you mumble begrudgingly as you drag yourself back to your room.

zayne lets out a small breath of laughter as he takes off his coat and begins to follow you to bed.

you sit down and lean against your headboard. picking up your phone and continuing to scroll as zayne joins you in bed. there’s a few moments of silence where you don’t even notice him looking at you. it wasn’t until he suddenly reaches over and snatches your phone right from your hands that you’re reminded of his presence and how he invaded your peaceful home.

“HEY!!! give it back!!!” you say as you jump to him trying to retrieve your phone from his grasp, something you knew was pointless.

“it’s almost 2:00 am you need to go to sleep.” he says with a softer voice as he plugs your phone in on the nightstand closer to him.

“do i have to say it again?” you practically growl as you loom over on top of him.

“well, now i’m here.” his voice deepening, as his hands begin to caress the sides of your torso. a combination he knows gets you to do whatever he wants.

you finally give up. falling on top of him onto his chest where he’s quick to wrap his arms around you and help you get settled.

“it’s not working im still not tired.” you say annoyed trying to wriggle out of his grasp. another fruitless effort, but hey you’ll still try.

one of zaynes hand creeps its way to your hair and begins brushing it out, as he uses his other hand to wrap the duvet around you both tucking, mainly you, in.

“talk to me until you do.” he says, still playing with your hair.

“about what?” you look up to him, with a much calmer demeanor that you don’t notice, but he smiles at.

“your day. what did you do today?” he asks, beginning to scratch up and down your back.

you release a small yawn before you begin to speak. which he uses as a sign to move the hand playing with your hair to cup your cheek, softly rubbing his thumb along the apple of it. making sure to keep his lips pressed against your head.

“well i didn’t do much today. i had a mission i was supposed to go on, but then they sent another group instead. so i just sat on my desk doing some some work i’ve been putting off until i got bored and decided to go shopping. and then once i got off work i went to the convenience store to get some snacks. and i also hope you know you can’t do this every time i can’t sleep. i very often struggle to do so.” you ramble, your voice losing energy the more you talk and closing your eyes by the time you get to the end of it.

zayne cranes his head down to press his lips against your forehead, still cupping your cheek and rubbing it tenderly. he begins to speak against your forehead in a quiet gentle voice.

“i’m aware, but every time that i am able to, i’ll gladly come over and comfort you to sleep. it’s no issue at all. i assure you.”

by the time he finished speaking, zaynes voice lulled you to bed. of course he knew exactly what to do to make you instantly fall asleep. he nuzzles your face once more before turning off the bedside lamp. he curls himself around your sleeping form nuzzling his face into your hair before drifting off to bed himself.

“goodnight, my love.”

[flamingoofeathers]

𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗧 𝗖𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗡' || 𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗚𝗘𝗧

pairings: bridget x fem!reader

summary: tired out of your mind, you confessed to Bridget.

genre: fluff

one-shot; wc: 1.2k

main masterlist bridget masterlist

a/n: i apologise for not posting yesterday but i did not feel well bc of the heat, like what the fuck, why is it so hot, but here i am with a one shot for the lovely Bridget, because i am down bad for this girl both the character and the actress, Ruby Rose Turner…the woman that you are.

It had been a long day or rather, a long week for you. Midterms were coming and you were panicking, studying never came easy for you, so you have to study twice as hard than everyone else to receive a passing grade, which caused you to cram all night long, with no sleep, while during the day, as student body president, you were required to patrol the halls and then di extra curricular activities, you didn’t have time to study at all during daylight.

By the end of the week, you were like a walking corpse, eye bag clinging to your under eyes, slouching not caring whether you were about to bump into something or someone.

Friday afternoon, walking to your after school club, dragging your feet with your eyes barely staying open, to others you look like zombie, some students looked at you with worry but none cared enough to actually help you that is until you bumped into a certain bubbly pink haired girl.

The sound of a falling metal tray startled you, watching the seen in front of you, you panicked when you saw a bunch of pink cupcakes on the floor, looking back at the girl, she just looked at at you horrified.

“Bridget! Oh my god, i am SO SO SORRY!” You said apologetically as you were about to lean down to grab the fallen tray and cupcake a hand grab at your forearms stopping you, you look up to see Bridget’s worried eyes.

“Y/n? Are you ok?” Bridget asked, you were confused as to what she was talking about.

“Yeah? Why?”

“Your eyes..” realising what she was talking about, you immediately pulled your arm away from her hand, grabbed the cupcakes and the tray before handing it back to her hurriedly.

“Im sorry again” you said before rushing away from, sudden burst of adrenaline from embarrassing yourself in front of your crush.

How can you forget about the eyebags surrounding your eyes, you almost look like Hook with his eyeliner from how dark your eyebags are.

After basically running to the fashion club, you were even more exhausted than before, causing you to poke yourself self while sewing a shirt, it would’ve been fine if it happened once or twice, but as the hour passed, the other members couldn’t help but look at you everytime you say “ow”.

“Y/n? You good, girl?” The club president asked, but you didnt hear her.

“Y/n? Y/n!” The president shook you wake when she noticed you actually had your eyes closed while using the machine.

“Wa-what?” You said blinking your eyes back open.

“Y/n, i think you should go get some sleep”

You fake chuckled “whaaat? Im fine, im totally awake” you said activating the machine again but your eyes began to close once more.

“Nope, you’re not, c’mon” the president said before grabbing you and dragging you out of the room with you mumbling protests, it was clear very very crystal clear that you were exhausted.

The president was silently scolding for not taking care of yourself but once you reached the courtyard, you felt as if you were handed to another pair of arms, much softer arms and mmmm they smell good too.

The only part you heard of their conversation was “i’ll take care of her” before you were once again dragged away.

You looked drunk from how much you were stumbling and babbling about being “super awake and super energised” you heard the person carrying you chuckle and you recognised it as Bridget’s laugh, but you didnt have the energy to even blush around her.

As she guided you back to your dorm, she scolded you about needing to manage your time better and taking better care of yourself which made you sulk a bit.

When you arrived in front of your dorm, you were already passed out in her arms, making it hard for her to ask you for the keys of your dorm so she checked your pockets and that made you giggle in your sleep.

"𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘴" you said murmuring.

Bridget chuckled opening your door. She guided you to your bed, making sure to lay you down carefully but what you said made her drop you to your bed but you didn’t even realise as you close your eyes snuggling into your blanket.

"𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩?" 𝘯𝘰. 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵.

The next day you woke up more active and aware of your surroundings, but what made you confused is why Bridget is talking to you and blush-y around you, not that you minded of course, you just don’t know why.

It went on for the rest of the day, she was happily talking to her, so she confronted her about it.

“Bridget, im sorry, why are you talking to me?” You said, and the girl suddenly looked confused and hurt.

“Not that i mind, of course, in fact i enjoy it a-lot, its just…you never really talked to me this much before, did something happen?” You defended immediately.

“Well, yesterday you said-“ she hesitated noticing the confused look on your face “ you know what, nevermind” she said smiling but you can see that it wasn’t a genuine one.

“Im just gonna go” she said attempting to leave but you grabbed her wrist.

“No, please tell me what i said yesterday” you were dreading to know what you said.

“Um, well….you said you liked me, but you were totally buzzed out yesterday so i understand that you didn’t really mean it, so no worries” she hurried say with nervousness in her voice.

“Oh. My. God. Bridget, i am so sorry, i didn’t want to confess that way.” You said blushing, embarrassed about your actions from yesterday “you know, you can totally reject me immediately, you don’t have to let me down slowly or whatnot, i don’t want to force you to hang out with me, just because you know i like you” you said apologetically.

“No, y/n, i li-“ Bridget said.

“You’re too kind that you cant even say it, oh my goddd, i totally get it, no hard feelings, you dont have to say it, im gonna go now so- yeah” you said turning around to leave.

The next thing you knew, lips were pressed against yours. Your eyes widen at the sudden situation, you saw Bridget with her eyes closed ACTUALLY kissing you.

'𝘰𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘥. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬' you thought and when the situation finally registered in your brain you kissed back and you felt her smile against your lips.

When you pulled away, you looked at her shocked “𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙪𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙠..." you whispered while touching your lips making her chuckle.

She grabbed both of your hands as she stepped closer to you.

“I like you too, silly” she said bashfully.

“Oh my god, you’re so cute” you said dazed making her blush.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Bridget said fidgeting with her hands.

“Ask you?” Youre brain was NOT working at all.

“To be your girlfriend?” She smiled shyful.

“Oh-“ you were short circuiting “oh!” you cleared your throat.

“Bridget, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me and becoming my girlfriend?” You smiled.

“YES! YES! YES!” She squealed hugging you “i’ve been dreaming of that question for so long”

"𝙞 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪"

[beescake]

PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU

HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂

also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read

i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.

sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.

and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.

aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me

how much more. raw it is

to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about

with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note

because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.

it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going

and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.

or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.

sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.

and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.

i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.

there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.

contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.

her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.

there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo

with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.

the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.

unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.

however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.

their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.

taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.

even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.

but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.

to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.

and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.

i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.

idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.

i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.

to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.

back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.

but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.

no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.

even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.

not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.

it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.

but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.

sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.

but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck

lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.

hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.

ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.

maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.

and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.

they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.

they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.

optional post-canon segment:

one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).

hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.

that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again

but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.

it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it

idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible

srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)

[myfandomrealitea]

Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.

I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online

I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.

So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.

I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.

I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?

It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.

It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.

But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.

Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.

It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.

Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.

[inamagicalhallucination]

guys do u remember my post that was like atsushi time travels back to a little while before he meets the ada??

okay so listen

its not too long before he meets the agency - but its still a long time if ur actively starving

atsushi isn't sure where to go or what to do, to be honest, it's hard to think with your stomach painfully begging for something, anything

atsushi isn't even sure if this is real

still, he drags himself up, considers just going to the agency, worries that if he meets them differently, something will change and he won't have his family

stumbles around and walks his way to the one of the few people outside of the agency that he knows he can trust

akutagawa ryuunosuke hears knocking on his door and is very surprised becuz who could it be ? the few ppl who know where he live would either never visit or call ahead

and gin, of course, has a key

still, making sure his coat is on and rashomon is just barely out, he opens the door

he doesn't know what he expects but a white messy haired, starving man in rags of clothes and dirt on his body standing there, tapping his foot, is not it

akutagawa stares, readies rashomon instictively

the boy smiles and akutagawa almost, almost flinches at the aboslute delight in his face at seeing him

"akutagawa" the boy says, akutagawa knows now that he cant simply kill him, he has to know how he found him, and who sent him, "thank god you still live here. i was a little worried." he reaches out and bats away the tendrils of rashomon with a gentle ease and pushes akutagawa slightly out of the way to enter akutagawa's apartment - akutagawa uncommon bafflement being the only real reason his starving body is able to

akutagawa should strike him now that his back is turned but the boy knows his name and his apartment and he needs to know how - it's good, he thinks, that the boy walked in on his own - it'll be easier to keep him until he explains

"who the hell are you?" akutagawa growls, putting on his meanest face, the boy barely spares him a glance

"your actually pretty adorable when your trying to be threatening - do you have rice? im really hungry."

rashomon shoots out wrapping herself around the boy's arms and legs, holding him up in the air, digging into his skin

the boy does not flinch.

he pouts

"ryuu, how could you be so mean?"

"do not call me that." akutagawa says, wondering if he should just kill him and find out about how he knows somewhere else "who are you"

the boy doesn't stop pouting but he finally answers "my name is nakajima atsushi. i got kicked out of my orphanage. im hungry. i want tea on rice." then he smiles and pulls out the ultimate weapon - something even akutagawa isn't prepared for against - "i'll make you fig pie "

akutagawa drops him

no it isn't just for the namedrop of one of his favorite dishes - it's simply becuz akutagawa can detect no lie or hint of malice or ill intentions from this atsushi

he keeps a tendril of rashomon on him just in case - he's not just letting him go of course - he still needs answers

atsushi pets rashomon and continues on to the kitchen, carefully washing his hands and moving around like he's been there a million times

"say, ryuu. i'll cook and clean if you let me stay here. just for a bit. until i get a job."

"no. i am letting you not starve perhaps - but do not think that i trust you or care for you."

"aww... im going to stay anyway."

"you will not"

"im not here to hurt you, promise. i really just didn't know where else to go."

"that does not explain how you know me."

"i guess not. ahh let me eat, i'll explain when i can think"

he never explains.

he does make the pie and he does fret over akutagawa eating dinner and he does laugh at akutagawa's threats and he does charm him easily and he does prove that he isn't associated with anyone just akutagawa and he is so so untrustworthy but akutagawa lets him stay

he tells himself its becuz he's keeping an eye on his strange man

atsushi, on his part, fully meant to explain everything to akutagawa as soon as he finished eating. he just forgot. he's so used to akutagawa already knowing everything about him, that it's esy for me to forget to explain, but still go on fully thinking that akutagawa already knows.

[yuhi-san]

I sat my ass down and put some meta thoughts into word that have been swirling in my head for ages for @tristampparty day 9 Brad and luida

Because i wont be finishing the planned story on time, soo

Brad, Luida and ship three went in completely blind when it came to how to handle vash being an independent pant. They had nothing to go off on and as far as they knew, independents were a theoretical possibility but vash was the first one they encountered (not even luida had the clearance to see anything that could contain mentions of tesla). Vash isn’t really human but he isn’t like a dependent plant either.

I made a post about how that regarding how vash initially seemed to go through a human lifecycle a lot faster, until they realized he just stopped aging at a certain point.

The other thing I wonder is, do brad, luida and at least some of the others know about tesla?

The answer is, im sure it will never come up in canon. And I guess people are inclined to say, no way would vash ever open up to anyone about it.

But I think brad and luida know. Not much. Maybe just that there was an independent before them and she had died from the experiments done on her. Just these two things is all vash ever said.

Because see, in stampede vash came to ship three when he was still very small. It became his home, he actually bonded with all these people, they are like family. And he was still very young when the traumatic loss of his arm happened.

It changes the dynamic between him and these people a lot compared to trimax and 98.

Vash doesn’t have a regular prosthesis but a cybernetic one (or three if you like me follow the hc that his legs are prosthesis as well). also there is metal and hardware (?) on his chest and stuff. But even

My point is, those aren’t things he got from patching himself up or went through shabby surgery in a back alley or something of no man’s land.

 Initial surgery when luida brought him back aside, that must have been ‘experimented’ with vash to some degree because they knew nothing. Can he get sick? How does he response to medicine, to painkillers? To anesthetics? Vash bleeds but does he have bloodtypes like a human? What are they supposed to do when he lost his arm? Give him a bloodtransfusion like they would with a human and hope his body wont reject it? Throw him in a plant tank and hope that the plants can do for him what he does for them?

And even if they were kind and patient and understanding and reassuring about it, there must have been so many moments where it was literally just trial and error because they simply had nothing to go on. It must have been so scary for vash.

But especially with his arm (and possibly his legs). It’s an cybernetic arm. There are cables and shit directly connected to his body. It’s not a regular stump he has, it’s a port, its hardware embedded in his flesh.

And surgeries are scary, especially for kids. Its normal to be afraid of them. But vash must have been beyond terrified by the mention of it. Far, far more so than could be reasonably explained as a normal reaction. So I think vash told them because he was too terrified, too afraid, didn’t know what else to do or say. A hysteric outburst more likely than calm communication.

(“There was an independent before us. They experimented on her. She’s dead.”)

It was terribly for everyone involved.

But, like even if vash didn’t tell them.

At some point, he made the conscious and active decision to trust this people so unconditionally. Despite his rocky start with them and what had transpired with the blackbox, they could reassure vash that he was save and no one would do him any harm.

Vsh trusted them enough to let them put him under, take a scalpel to him, change his body irrecoverably but he would come out of it alright, wouldn’t endure any unnecessary pain by their hand.

Like, if you think about it like that, after the horror of what happened to tesla that shaped him and nai so much, vash found it in himself to trust these people with what then and possibly still might be his biggest trauma. And like rem had promised, he didn’t end like his sister

[meyobe]

could you do obey me boys with a professional volleyball player mc? 🤫 like they enter at RAD's volleyball team and are absolutely SLAYING o smth like that

A/n: Im making Mc hella op when it comes to volleyball. Mc for world domination 2023.

These are also play offs of the brother before I personally think it’s more entertaining. You’ll be of the boss of that though.!

Lucifer

It had only been a month since Mc had been ( abducted ) from their home.

It had been only a month and you’re already disobeying him.

Mc’s schedule was HOL-RAD-HOL.

As soon as that last bell rang MC was meant to go straight to HOL with the company of Mammon.

Yet, Lucifer found Mammon coming home alone and asked where MC was.

Turns out Mc had been paying off Mammon to drop them off at the gym for practice and pick them up before Lucifer came home.

He wondered where Mc got the nerve while he was on his way to the gym.

He busted open the gym door.

Only to see Mc diving into over the out of bounds line and hit the ball behind them and over the net and score a point.

( think that nishinoya scene from haikyu)

Mc was cheering with their team before feeling a familiar gaze on them.

“I see you’ve made yourself acquainted with the volleyball team.” His words were harsh and cold

Just as you were about to speak.

“ If you wanted to join extra curricular activities, you should’ve just asked instead of paying my brother off.”

He then explain how Diavolo wants Mc to get the full experience.

And for a while that was that.

Until, he’d come and watch Mc play.

When questioned about it later on he’d say.

“ I cant very have the exchange student injured due to this game”

He’d make sure Mc wasn’t hurt and if they were sore he’d offer some sort of concoction to help the pain.

Mammon

At first he wasn’t to sure about disobeying Lucifer rules. They were set in place an- Mc said 20 Grimm each day he covers for them?

He’s all on board.

At the start he didn’t even think Mc would get on the team.

Was he sorely mistaken.

He had just drop Mc off and didn’t want to go home right away.

He was walking around campus before finding himself back at the gymnasium.

He thought he’d pass some time by watching you fail.

Maybe if he recorded it, it could sell as a “ Big Time Fails of Devildom” ( I completely made this up)

He walked in and propped his camera up.

Mc was running up for the ball and spiked it over their opponents heads.

And that was game.

He was flabbergasted. How could a human be so good at volleyball and nonetheless beat demons?!????

He immediately pullled you away and was asking if you cheated.

“ Why or even How could I cheat?” Mc says wiping sweat off their forehead.

“The same way I cheat off Satan’s tests”

“Wait… don’t tell him that, but I’m totally posting this. I could make a fat buck off of this🤫.”

He would sit on the stands and watch as Mc destroyed the opposite team.

He’d always come up after just to ask you how did it feel to win?

He could feel the greed of your pact coming off of you.

He’d also see Lucifer there asking why the hell is he there saying he was there first🙄.

#JealousMammonisadream

Levi

He was just watching Deviltube before he saw that Mammon posted something.

Human wipes the floor with demon:NOT CLICKBATE 100% Real 👹😮‍💨🙀💯🔥

He knows Mammons stupidity know no bound so he decided to watch it.

And as the caption stated Mc did wipes the floor with those demons.

He immediately thought of a human anime he saw about volleyball.

He wondered if you saw the ball coming to you in slo-mo before making a move.

As soon as Mc came home he’d ask all kinds of questions about it.

When did Mc first start to play volleyball?

Do you actually enjoy it?

Is this a normie thing ?

Can he maybe come to watch you play?

Mammon would shut him down as he does but after another month he asked MC.

He had one class with Mc where he was the only brother there so that’s when he asked.

“Mc… do you think I could watch you play. “ his voice just above a whisper.

“Hm? Oh, Of course you Can. I actually have a game this Saturday you’re more than welcome to come!!! I hope to see you Leviathan😁.”

The smile was enough to make him pass out.

Satan was the one to catch him.

The image of you walking away after dating he could go was enough t to make him pass out again.

He came with so many snacks and drinks that weekend.

He also recorded and compared it to the anime he saw.

Satan

“Levi? Are you okay?”

“Mc…. Volleyball”

He watched as Levi passed out again.

Placing him on the table to try to figure out what he meant by that.

Come to think of it he did hear about an extremely good volleyball player this year.

It couldn’t be Mc right? Their only a human.

Theres no way a human could be that good…right?

He doesn’t use social media as much as his brother so he doesn’t know who it is exactly.

He knows that the volleyball team had practice Mon, Wen,Thru, and Friday.

He’d just have to wait till tomorrow to find out if it’s true.

The bell had just rang and he was on a mission.

On his way to the gym he bummed Into asmo but no time for distractions.

He saw Lucifer and Mammon on the benches. Bickering of course but he saw Mc returning the ball to their teammate and receive it back no problem.

Maybe Mc was the right person he was looking for.

His head followed the ball back and forth as he saw Mc grab the ball and put it away.

He didn’t say anything like his brother did.

He just examined you like an animal in its environment.

He was amused with the way you held your own.

Something about not needing help from your teammates got to him.

His cheeks were turning red.

He was going to come to you’re game on Saturday whether he asked you or not.

“Oooooo is a brother of mine blushing?”

Asmo

“By the way I didn’t appreciate how you ignored me in the halls :(.“

Satan simply rolled his eyes and walked towards the benches with his brothers.

“I heard about Mc’s volleyball abilities but never had time to come and see them” he said sitting down next to Satan.

He turned back to see his older brothers a couple of benched up from him.

He watched as you set the net up.

He made comments about Mc’s shorts saying something about how come they can wear shorts that short but he can’t.

Satan tried to explain the different between game uniform and nudity.

He didn’t see a difference. ( he’s so 😜)

When it Mc’s turn yo serve he doesn’t think much of it. Until.

BAMB

The sound of the ball hitting the other demons forearm made him cringe.

He knew the basics of volleyball but in no way was that sound apart of the game.

He shut his mouth as watched the game like an addict.

He wondered what was your next move cheering you on from the benches.

He already knew what products to give to you help with redness or sore muscles.

As soon as practice was over he ran over to Mc.

Telling them how scary the sound was and they should be more careful.

He wishes he came sooner.

He help Mc walk home due to sore legs much to Mammons protest.

He’d take care of you when you got home.

Beel

His practice was over before Mc’s and he was the only one who knew about their hidden talent.

He was in the kitchen when he heard the front door open. He saw mc wrapped around Asmo.

He assumed they overdid it at practice.

“Ooh little brother did you know Mc was on the volleyball team?!?? They are amazing!!! <3” he said placing Mc on a chair.

“ Of course I did, I practice with them.” Munch munch munch

The room went quiet.

The brothers all questioned him.

After getting confirmation from Mc.

“Beel how could you not tell us?!?! I mean Im your big brother:/“

“It’s not like you asked”

��ROTFFFF , you totally just got owned”

“Maybe It’s because you not his fav big bro like I am right beel 🤑”

“Belphie is my favorite.”

Satan and Lucifer try not to laugh and walk away.

In the distance you can hear a certain blonde laughing.

Eventually things die down and he asks you if you want to take an ice bath.

The two of you are a couple feet apart of your own container filled with ice talking about how practice was.

He supports Mc’s game choice and helps them with tips hes learned along the way.

He can’t make it to ever practice but he’s at every game cheer you on.

With Mc’s number on his cheek holding a sign.

Belphie

He was the day of the game but he didn’t even know if. The house was less noisy that usual.

He found the loud noises comforting and can’t sleep without them.

Annoyed, he looks around the house for his brothers.

He finds you Instead.

“Where are my brothers?”

He saw Mc is a uniform and was confused.

“Wait did beel have a game today?”

“No, it’s actually my game?…”

“Since when are you on the volleyball team?”

“Since ever?”

“Why didnt you tell me?”

His attitude made him seem like he wasn’t Into going to your games.

But turn out he was.

He knew how much this meant to you.

So he stood up the entire time. Not falling asleep once.

Once the game was over the brother all came to you but him.

Walking out the gym you saw him in your jersey.

He had left early to get you merch.

He apologized for not being there for the finally match.

He had bought the entire stand.

Hoodie, shirts, mugs.

Claiming his brothers would find good use in them.

He promised he be at ever game and asked Mc to sign the jersey he bought.

He wears the jersey to sleep every night.

It’s good luck he says.

A/n: Oh my lorddd this took forever. I am not going back to fix errors so plz don’t criticize me!!!

I hope you all enjoyed!!! ❤️

[jesslockwood]

Detecting the Haunted Masterlist 

Chapter Three

Word Count: 3.2k

Pairing(s): Anthony Lockwood x Detective!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Angst

A/n: hello friends! I'm sorry I haven't posted in forever!!! its going to be a busy summer for me as its my last year in my acting program, and I have professional Shakespeare shows coming up (auditions and rehearsals) soon. I really hope to be active but im not sure how active I will be but I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Add yourself to the Taglist

In all of Anthony’s life, he wanted people to love him. He wasn’t sure why but the praise of others and the showering of adoration towards him just gave him the feeling of being loved. Maybe it was because that’s what his life was missing, love. 

The current problem with wanting to be even just admired, was that you wouldn’t speak to him, unless absolutely necessary or with someone else in the room. He couldn’t pin point what had changed, but it put him in a grouchy mood. 

He had even snapped at George and Lucy at one point, because of it, which he felt bad about.

He just couldn’t understand why you would all of a sudden you just seem to loathe the mere presence of him. 

That was until he saw you having a conversation with none other than Quill Kipps in the library. That made Lockwood want to explode. He did his best to keep his composure, but how could he? Especially when someone he cared for was talking to his rival. 

You had laughed at something he said, before Anthony made his way over. 

“Tony! I see you have a new agent in training on your hands.” Kipps seemingly tries to antagonize him, “I thought you had enough troubles trying to keep your agency afloat, Being such a small and insignificant one.” 

Lockwood grits his teeth, and his fist goes into a ball, clenching it so tightly. 

“Anyway, my offer still stands.” He says directed towards Y/n in a overly confident tone before making his leave.

Anthony tightens his jaw even more if that was even possible to do so.

You shake your head while smiling, as Kipps leaves and Anthony notices. 

“When’d you get so chummy with Kipps?” He asks with an intensity that you can only describe as uncomfortable.

You ignore his prompted stare down, and shift over a book, and open it to start your next reading.

He keeps staring waiting for you answer.

“When did you get so controlling with who I talk to? Last time I checked you were my boss, not my boyfriend.” You say not even meeting his gaze, ignoring the way saying boyfriend made your body tingle.

He looks genuinely shocked, and hurt, when you spew the words with venom at him, wth a fiery anger, but you had to hate him, or else you’d hate everyone else around you. The problem was that hating everyone wasn't an option you wanted to explore, so your anger had to be directed towards Anthony Lockwood. That was or else it would consume you.

George walks towards the two, carefully, as if he could be the detonator to explode one of the two colleges of his on each other.

“I uh, found the paper in the archives we were looking for, Y/n.” He says before carefully setting it down on the table the two of you were working at.

George had noticed the tension in the house between Lockwood and Y/n, he knew Lucy could feel it too, as she kept trying to get Lockwood and Y/n to avoid each other as much as possible as she tried to figure out what triggered all this, for lack of a better term, teenage angst in the house. 

Well it felt like more than just teenage angst. It felt like a rage radiating off of the two directed towards each other, as if they were two old miserable manifestations bickering like an old couple while trying to murder everyone in the way that ticked them off.

Yeah that was more of the level of tension that was going on, especially when Lucy or himself got caught in the crossfire of the two. He actually didn’t hate Y/n, he had gotten to tolerate her during their times in the archives, but he couldn’t get a good reading of why she acted the way she did towards them, but mostly Lockwood. He was so curious of what was making her tick, or ticked off, pun intended.

Even Lockwood was making things feel off. He had been pissed almost every single day these past couple of weeks, and had even bursted with anger towards himself and Lucy.

George started to think of all the ways he could figure out what was wrong, and deiced to let Lucy in on his plot when he got home, to figure out what the hell these two had tasted to be so bitter to everyone.

George had come out of dreamland to find Y/n and Lockwood bickering.

“At least I talked to someone who wasn’t a stuck up prick for once!” Y/n almost yells.

“I think you’ve got it all wrong, love, you did talk to the stuck up prick, he just left with what’s left of his dignity, from the last time he was here!” Lockwood raises her one.

“Guys, Guys!” Lucy comes rushing In to break it up, “Maybe let’s try to not get kicked out of the archives? Y/n let’s uh, go get lunch, there’s this place I've been meaning to take you to.” 

Y/n gives Anthony one last glare before, picking up her jacket and heading out with Lucy.

“Well, that was awkward…” George mumbles faintly, before giving Lockwood a disappointed look before getting back to work.

“Urgh! He such a pompous ass!” You rant to Lucy, in between shoving pizza in your mouth. 

“Lockwood can be… selfish. But it’s really more because he wants the us and the whole agency to benefit… trust me I know it all too well.” She tries to console you, and you can see the genuine hurt in her eyes from it. 

If he could hurt Lucy, and get others hurt, even killed… who knows what the guy could do to you. Maybe the Job Kipps offered you wasn’t such a bad idea. 

It especially felt good to know it would make Lockwood infuriated. Maybe this was a chance to get a back at Lockwood a bit. Not to the degree you wanted, but it was something.

You make small talk with Lucy while eating, coming up with a plan in your head of how to piss him off the most.

To say Lockwood was pissed was a total understatement. He was enraged.

George and Lucy even seemed to tiptoed around Lockwood as of recently, and Lockwood felt nothing but isolated, and that led him to be able to sit and stew in his anger even longer. 

The both of you seemed to avoid each other physically, which made Lockwood all the more furious. The only time you’d see each other was for training, which George and Lucy had taken over most of that, and cases.

Today you had to train with your rapier again, and that was the main thing Lockwood oversaw.

“C’mon again!” He yells, as you missed one of the practice targets. 

You glare daggers into his direction, as he seemly does the same. 

“I would be a lot better if I didn’t have the constant screaming in my ear.” You mumble sarcastically.

“Sorry, I didn’t get that? Maybe you could actually try this time?” He says before smirking and leaning back to where he was sitting seeming satisfied with ticking you off.

“I’d like to see you do better.” You taunt stalking towards him, “The best I’ve seen in action was the Fittes team at a case I was working.”

He clenches his jaw, looking at you with an intense fire behind his eyes. 

“You’re more show than skill.” You smirk as his face turns even more sour. He gets up and moves right into your personal space. 

“Really? If you think I’m all show, then lets put it to the test, Love.” He pulls his rapier out and backs you into the wall.

You visibly gulp, not because of his challenge, but the sheer proximity of how close his face was to yours. 

He stares into your eyes, with his full of an emotion you couldn’t quite pinpoint. He had a anger but there was something else behind it. 

He shakes his head and scoffs, turning around walking away.

That made your whole body burn with fury. You knew he was one of the best from stories you had heard, but boy did that make you want to try harder to be better. 

“Like I said, all show.” You mumble loud enough for him to hear. 

He stops on the spot, turning around about to say something, and before he can Lucy is running down the stairs with a small stack of letters in her hand. 

“Hey, Y/n You’ve got mail.” 

You give Lockwood a victory smirk, and he gives you a glare saying ‘this isn’t over’.

“Thanks, Lucy.” You take the mail form her, before looking it over, until stopping on one letter in particular. 

“Crap…” you mumble to yourself, opening it quickly. 

Lockwood and Lucy seem intrigued to know what had gotten the rise out of you.

You skim over the letter, or well, the invitation. Your grandparents wanted to see you, and you knew that they rarely did unless it had to do with their agenda. 

You started to feel ill, hoping it was you actually getting sick to get out of it, instead of the idea of visiting them. 

“What is it?” Lockwood asks slightly worried as you lean to grab the wall. 

You want to throw the letter out, but you hand it to Lucy, “You can read it amongst yourselves, if you wish, Especially since I think I’m going to need you to accompany me.”

They give each other a look, as you head upstairs and They both follow you up quickly, if not seconds later. 

George seems intrigued to what is going on, and comes out of the sitting room area, with his usual cleaning gear on, and duster in his hand. 

Lucy starts reading aloud, “Y/n Y/l/n and Lockwood & co, You are formally invited to The Saunders Ball, this Friday. Please wear formal wear and please arrive early to meet and dine with The Saunders.”

“How in the bloody hell do you know the Saunders?!” Lockwood almost yells.

George pipes up, “And why would one of the oldest of richest families in London want dinner with with us?”

“Blood Relation, to me, unfortunately.” You say, wishing this wasn’t their reaction. 

Lucy and Lockwood sit there with their mouths ajar, while George looks like he’s going through every probability in his mind.

“Look, there’s no need to come. I can face my grandparents myself-“

“There’s no way were passing this up. It’s an opportunity for the company to find more clients.” Lockwood pipes up.

Your jaw clenches as try you to smile to pretend to be pleased that he wants to come. 

“Great. does everyone have formal wear? Or do we have to go shopping?”

Lucy shakes her head no, and you give a light smile, before grabbing her hand.

“Let’s go then, my treat.” You say before running out the door with Lucy. 

Lockwood gives one last glance at the door, before standing up.

“C’mon George, Lets go find out all we can about the Saunders.”

Lockwood wouldn’t try to dive into your history if he could help it, but he needed to know anything he could about who’s doors he was about to step into and how to best be prepared to gain new clients. 

Lucy had told you a bit about her past life, how she didn’t come from much, and her old employer, and briefly what happened to her best friend Norrie.

“Hey Lu?” You grab her attention with the nickname you called her in your nightly talks, “Im sorry.”

“What do you mean?” She asks, looking directly at you as you walked down the street of the shops. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about all this. It’s something my Mum left in the past when she left home from my grandparents. I’ve never really lived rich my mother just came from money.” You sigh as you continue to explain, “We really lived off of my Dad’s pay, and my mother worked part time in a flower shop. It- it’s not really important what they did. But my grandparents- well they only ever summon me if they want something.”

Lucy gives a sympathetic look, with almost an understanding. 

“My grandparents hated my dad, because the took their only daughter away, to live a ‘life of poverty’ and my dad, ‘he couldn’t provide’. Ah, it’s so messed up! Then my parents had me, and all they ever wanted was me to become their ‘Perfect grandchild of the Saunders’ but I never was that, or could be that.” You ramble it all out.

“I’m sorry y/n” she replies, “For all that family rubbish. I- I know the struggle of family too well.” She mentions with an understanding you’ve never felt. 

You felt so heard. You felt so seen even though your pasts couldn’t have been more different. It was so touching.

“Thank you. For being my friend.” You blurt out, as she gives you a genuine smile. 

“C’mon let's check out this shop!” You say while dragging her in and you both giggle. 

Lockwood was tapping his fingers against the table. He was getting George to pull article after article about your grandparents. After Fairfax, Lockwood couldn’t just walk into this blindly, especially at the reaction that Y/n had at the mere invitation of dinner with them. 

The archives seemed to have little to no information so far, other than that they were old money for being a huge lavender supply over the years and that they had a similar social circle to Fairfax; rich and socialites. Their only link to each other was Marissa Fittes and Penelope Fittes.

Lockwood sighed, as he hoped this wouldn’t turn into another Fairfax situation. At this point in time, he didn’t think he could really trust y/n anymore. 

But maybe that was the problem between himself and y/n, that she couldn’t trust him. He never had thought about it that way. He had told Lucy and George about his past, but not y/n, so maybe that’s why she didn’t share much about herself. 

Maybe it was time Lockwood let himself go of this rampant disease of the feeling of resentment. At least to a small degree, just so they all could survive dinner and the ball with one of London's most powerful and influential families. 

It was finally the day to head to dinner and the ball with your grandparents, and you were just pretending to have it all together, but underneath you were an earthquake of nerves waiting to start to rumble. 

You were curling Lucy’s hair with an curling iron, trying to distract yourself from the whole situation. 

“That’s a beautiful necklace you have on.” You mention breaking the almost silence as the record player played a soft tune in the back of the room.

She grabs it, fiddling with it, “Thanks, Lockwood gave it to me, for the Fittes ball.” You freeze for a second, trying to hold your face still in the same way it was. 

You were partly shocked she even mentioned it, because that was the night your father had died at the hands of him.  You were Devastated but wasn’t the only emotion you were feeling, you couldn’t help but feel a pang in your chest when she said Lockwood gave it to her. You hated yourself even more for falling into this trap of his charms. 

You were trying to hold a small smile, ads you finished Lucy’s hair. Your eyes started to water slightly, and as you tried to hold your tears in, there was a knock at the door. 

“Luce, Y/n, are you two ready yet?” Lockwood asks from the other side.

“You’re done Lu.” You say before turning around before the tears started to come out and started to go get your dress on. 

“I’m coming out, Y/n just has to put her dress on.” Lucy explains.

“Okay.” He repsonds.

Lucy slips out, and you here her shoes click against the stairs as she walks down. 

You wipe away your tears and start to pull your dress on before hearing your name being called.

 “Y/n?” 

“Yes Lockwood?” You reply.

You start to struggled with he zipper on your dress, as Lockwood starts to speak, “I just wanted to say that I’m- Y/n/n are you okay?” He asks as you made a loud sound as you crashed into the vanity. 

“Uh yeah I just can’t- I can’t get this stupid zipper.” You sigh in defeat, “Can you come in and help me?”

“Yeah, of course.” He says as he opens the door. His breath is taken away as If his lungs were ghost touched. You were leaning against the vanity, with a beautiful red dress on. 

“I know it’s pathetic but that the last case we had this week hurt my shoulder, so you don’t have to say it.” You mention looking away, before meeting his gaze. 

Was he… admiring you? You couldn’t tell for the few seconds he looked at you, before his expression changed as he moved towards you.

“It was my fault, on that case. I should have prepared you more so don’t worry about it. I’m just glad the dresser that hit you in the shoulder didn’t hurt you more.” He said, “That was quick moving, your getting out of the way before it squashed you.“ 

That was almost a compliment and an admittance of fault. What was going on with him? He motions for you to turn around and you do. As he moves your hair out of the way, a shiver runs down your spine, and goose bumps arise on your skin. 

You try to distract yourself at the feeling of his close proximity to you by cracking a joke, “Yeah well, now I can’t zip myself up, or get out of this stupid gown. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for this choice of attire I truly adore feeling trapped.” 

He laughs a small almost silent laugh, as he grabs the zipper and slowly zips it up. It was agonizingly slow. You couldn’t tell if he was doing this to spite you, or because he was feeling the same weird feelings that you were. 

You shook off the second thought, it had to be to make you uncomfortable. You couldn’t have second thoughts on this no matter how warm it made your body feel. 

You swear you heard him take a shaky breath in before he finished and you turned to face him. You were really close to his face, and you could see the way his eyes looked almost puppy dog like. His eyes trailed your whole face for a few seconds before he took a small step back.

“Shall we?” He extended his arm, before you both descended the stairs, heading out to the car to take you to the infamous Saunders ball. You only hoped that your grandparents didn’t pull some bullshit like they usually did with you. 

You had no idea what was in store for you and your team, and that’s what was killing you. The not knowing.

Taglist:

@waitingforthesunrise @sleep-i-ness @rinisfruity14 @uku-lelevillain

[nitholites]

Chloé Bourgeois/Cassandra Cain (possible/Stephanie Brown), anyone?

basically, i got to thinking. it's been years since i've watched anything mlb, and i can't claim to be super knowledgeable about dc, but.

Cass deserves more love. so here we are

Important notes: i'm takin chloé away from canon post 'miracle queen' but pre 'throw all possible character development out the window'. i'm also letting her have her dang character redemption arc because goddamn it she was 13 at the start of the show. she isn't evil; she's young, sheltered, and struggling with a lot of parental issues. i don't know shit about anything past, like... the season of chat blanc, and nor do i care to know! canon's a washed out blueprint, but in the end it's just a piece of paper i'm gonna doodle all over anyway so may as well make it my own

as for Cass (and any other dc character imma poke at); i'm doin my best, but i'm very new to dc and its timelines are messes anyway. so im basically taking the webtoon batman: wayne family adventures as canon (for characterizations and interpersonal relationships) and giving it the mlb treatment because It's My Story And I Can Do What I Want, Mom

Have a problem with all that? Write your own fic! Then you can decide what interpretations of these characters you use! (And i get to consume more for this idea-)

For example! A great prompt (in my head) would be to take post-canon chloé (her working with hawkmoth and all), have her move to gotham for school/to get away from paris/whatever, and let her try to have her redemption arc there of all places. (Or that's just where she went because she's in a downward spiral and thinks along the lines of 'well, if im already evil might as well go to the crime capital of the world, right?) Or! Have cass be in paris! Pre or post joining the batfam; you could have hawkmoth be kickin years after canon starts

We're talkin about chloé goin to gotham today tho. What specifically she's doing is up for the writer to decide- if she's goin the fashion route, if she's starting from scratch, if she's planning on just visiting, whatever. Point is: she's in gotham long enough to have a story

Now, chloé isn't actually evil- no matter what her mental image of herself is. And in this story, she's actively trying to do better; to be a better person. She's still snarky and blunt and has high standards, ofc, but she's trying and she is doing better day by day. She falls back on old habits and defense mechanisms sometimes (especially when facing gotham's rogues, which probably happens fairly often considering who she is and the amount of money in her bank accounts) and she definitely isn't a saint or endlessly kind/patient(/good) like marinette is, but don't actions speak louder than words anyway?

For some people, they do!

Enter: one cassandra cain. Who knows real evil when she sees it. Who can see the struggle and improvement of another person so clearly they may as well have shout it from the rooftops. Who can see the emotions as clearly as she can see gargoyles in gotham, and who had her own sort of redemption arc/gear-shift into being on the other side of the hero/villain debacle

Few people in the world can so clearly see or know another person, and cass is very good at what she does.

So what cass sees isn't a selfish, spoiled, bully. No; she sees the guilt that gnaws away at chloe and shuts her mouth when she's about to really snap at someone (until they push more and she can't stop the words but she can take the full brunt of their anger). Cass can see the hesitation that comes when chloe has the opportunity to do something small but kind (like hold open a door or help someone pick up something) and the brief (but strong) flash of why can't i do better why do i hesitate why is this so hard that comes when chloe just isn't fast enough to go through with it before the chance is over

Cass can see chloe's intent and the constant battle she wages with herself between doing the right thing and falling back into the easy, (comforting, even if it's only for a moment and the pang of regret she has after, she can only shove onto the mountain of her fuck-ups) familiar, knee-jerk actions and reactions and thoughts. And yknow what?

Cass was like that once, too. Because she still brandishes a knife first when she's truly startled. Because her mind still whispers when she's got an opponent down, telling her exactly how easy it'd be to make sure they never get back up. Because change is a process, and cass has seen both ups and downs in both herself, her family, and even some of the rogues and criminals she sees on a semi-regular basis. And it's so much harder when you have to do it alone. And a vigilante's job is to help people, first and foremost. And cass hasn't been able to do that in all the ways she wants to yet

Cass usually doesn't interact with civilians when she doesn't have to. She doesn't speak often and sign isn't as widely taught as it should be. But cass can see chloe's strong-willed, determined nature. And yknow what?

It reminds her a lot of steph. Chloé's a 'they asked for no pickles' friend without someone to stand in front of. Cass doesn't mind pickles, but she'd be more than happy to let someone else stand up for her from time to time. It's a win-win in her book; chloe gets a clearer path to 'goodness', and cass gets practice at helping people! (It doesn't matter that it's outside the mask. It's helping, and she can do it no matter what name she's using)

Chloé can't help but see a younger, meeker marinette in cass at first. Though she's lost in how to be good in most ways, all she has to do to be better here is to treat this shy girl the opposite of how she treated marinette. Not easy- not really- but at least she knows she's on the right track every day this cass doesn't cry or get that same broken expression marinette sometimes got when they were kids

(... she's entirely unprepared for Cass to break a molester's wrist a couple of months later. Maybe cass doesn't need chloe, but cass seems happy to let chloe stay, so she will)

(God help everyone else when chloe and steph finally meet.)

[sixlane]

laneeeee as the og pandoralecto anon i ABSOLUTELY want to talk about them and bartyyy especially since i think barty and alecto would have like a lowkey sibling-like relationship but also theyre both fucked up so it is also a bit sexual but like. alecto is also fucking her brother and barty wants to fuck twins that are already fucking so its not the weirdest most incestous thing going on in their lives.

anyway. pandoralecto. since barty and alecto are close like that she tells him and she's like "this is terrible i hate her but also i cannot stop aaaaagh helpppp" and barty.exo stops working cos erm. what.

I think a huge part of his reaction to that is what is his relationship with evan and pandora at that moment? cause its going to be different if he wants to fuck evan, is fucking evan, wants to fuck dora, is fucking dora, wants to fuck both of them, is fucking both of them, or is fucking both of them cause they invited him to join their weird incest stuff.

im kinda leaning towards him already knowing that there's smth going on with evan and pandora and wanting to join them. that's when it makes me the most insane.

all those relationships are open relationships but he only knew that in theory until now. he never imagined pandora with someone who isnt evan and now it turns out shes into women too?? hes going insane. hes foaming at the mouth.

alecto is objectively attractive but also shes kinda like his sister. he knows too much about her to be attracted to her. he cannot. no. simply no. but also he did have to run away to the bathroom to jerk off that one time he saw her boobs. he convinced himself it was a coincidence and it didnt have anything to do with alecto's tits. he jerked off to the thought of evan.

but now it turns out those two girls who he knows so well and who are both attractive are fucking. two girls. fucking. attractive girls.

he goes into full shock for a minute and just sits there, stares blankly at the wall and imagines it and then he gets a boner and its really awkward for him but alecto doesnt even notice cause theyre both drunk. he leaves and she doesnt think about it, just gets herself another drink.

I gotta ask. do u think he ever joins them?

cause in my mind they'd never like. actually have a threesome or smth. but i could see a situation in which pandoralecto is having sex and barty's watching. (idk if its consenual or voyerism yet ill tell u when i decide)

anyway. love the dynamic of them three. u're a genius mwah bye

ok first of all i love you for sending this. like seriously i was smiling so big reading this. i’m so ready let’s get into it.

ok so upon further thought i kind of don’t think alecto would ever mention she’s fucking pandora to like. anyone. i think barty would just figure it out himself because he’s nosy and perceptive like that. and he’d need like two weeks to fully accept that as something that is happening.

because really the alecto barty friendship only works if he’s not attracted to her at all. @/foursaints and @/jewishregulus have made great posts about this but basically. alecto hates men like barty but she can tolerate barty because he never treats her like other men do. alecto doesn’t fit into barty’s vision of what an attractive woman is. she’s harsh and mean and she takes everything way too seriously. he just doesn’t understand that she’s attractive. she’s not a woman in his mind. and that’s the only reason alecto can be friends with him. (and yeah i do agree they have a sibling-like relationship which is again only possible because he does not like her like that).

so yeah his brain breaks a little when he realizes pandora and alecto are having violent hate sex. because that should be very hot to him. but then alecto is there. so. it’s weird. he gets a boner and a migraine every time he tries to imagine it.

i think you’re right that this is made even better if barty is aware of the rosier twincest but not directly involved yet. if he’s actively fucking pandora and/or evan there’s less mystery surrounding it for him. if he has already fucked pandora there’s less for his brain to break over.

so basically. no i don’t think he ever joins them or actively watches. i think he sometimes walks into heated arguments between alecto and pandora and that’s basically just as good/bad. alecto smashed a plate and now pandora’s holding a shard up to her neck pinning her against the wall. barty walks in like. 😦….. i’ll leave you guys to it. he cannot be involved because he truly doesn’t know where he’d fit into the dynamic. there’s no room for him.

[smiggles]

Might be a bit of a weird ask but you seem so confident in yourself and what you post- were you ever at a point where you didn't feel like you could talk about what you enjoyed? I'm struggling to be more open about my "weirdness" I guess in fear of people would dislike me for it.

I'll be super honest It wasnt until recently I was able to post about my actual interests.

Twitter made me absolutely terrified to step out of line in any way because as a disabled trans person living in a red state that actively makes laws (and lists) against trans people art is my only way of income. But I believe I got to a point where I just said Im too tired. Im too frustrated. Cut my income see if I care. If people hate me or call me weird or think Im a freak. Good. Leave me alone. Just rip off the band aid and make some callout that Im a terrible person for what I like And it did happen. I was said to be "just as bad as a zoophile" in one post.

People will dislike you for enjoying weird or grotesque content. But people are going to dislike you anyway no matter what Might as well be hated for being who you are than hated for as someone you pretend to be to appease others

Then you can find people who love you as you are and curate a wonderful home for yourself. 

[readychilledwine]

Hey Liz! I've noticed you don't use MDNI for your smut. Can I ask why?

Warning - controversial opinions below cut and a long post

I have several reasons, but I want to start by saying that I respect everyone's opinions on this, and I hope that even if our opinions are different, we can discuss this like civilized humans.

To give you all some background:

I grew up in a fairly strict traditional midwest home. My parents held my purity to a very different standard than my brothers. My virtue was to be a gift to my future husband, and my body was to be a temple and treated with kindness and worship. We can get into my whole sexual awaking later, but I will tell you all, smut fanfics, lemons as they were once lovingly called, were part of my sexual education and how I learned my body was reacting normally as a teen. I lied about my age on fanfiction websites constantly because I have always preferred fanfiction smut over traditional porn. So, as someone who grew up in my background, let me first say, I can understand why a minor would make the choice to read on here instead of watching.

Anyways, to my reasonings:

1. The children I legally have responsibilities to and monitor are my daughter and occasionally my nephews and nieces when we are watching and caring for them. If my daughter came to me as a teen and said she found a smutty story online, we're going to discuss it and make a plan that best fits us regarding everything. As all parents should, from jump, when allowing children and teens access to the internet.

2. Legal ages are different everywhere. 18 to 19 is a good standard, but there are countries where teens as young as 16 are considered adults and countries where you are not considered an adult until 21. I ultimately am not creepy enough to stalk your page, ask where you live, figure out how old you are, and then look into majority laws in your country. That's how you end up on the registry.

3 - Putting MDNI will not stop a minor from reading my fics. They're going to do what they're going to do, and there are very few jurisdictions where I can legally be held liable for that due to the following reason:

4 - Nothing is preventing a minor from lying on their profile regarding their age. We've all done it. Let's be adults and admit that. As long as you are not actively sending "pornographic content" (which in itself is debatable as to what that means in different locations,) you normally cannot be held liable.

5 - Trying to message me is like pulling teeth from a bear right now, so I very rarely interact with people in my messages, and I am getting horrible regarding my comments (and I'm working on that, please know I see them and am always grateful.) The people I do actively message back, I do stalk you all a little (because i do love you and want to talk to you💕) and I do not actively send those people smut related things.

6 - video related porn is incredibly harmful to the young mind. That's coming from someone who has a sex positive lifestyle. Porn sets unrealistic expectations for teens and young adults regarding how sex should look, how it feels, and how it should sound. It's actually a huge topic of debate and discussion in the psychology and sex therapy world. I personally would rather have a teen read smut instead of watching porn. I could write an essay on this alone.

7 - Smut novels are also easy to purchase and access for teens. I do not see a difference in allowing in allowing a teen to read a smut novel versus smutty fanfiction. Again, AS LONG AS THE AUTHOR IS NOT DIRECTLY SENDING IT TO THEM.

8 - Using the "You are responsible for your own consumption" divider with my warnings and a cut is typically warning enough. By seeing that divider, seeing the warnings, and making the choice to open it and read any ways, the minor is now choosing to do something and accessing it by their own choice.

Is all of this to say I want minors actively interacting with my smut? Negative. Please don't.

I think it's very important to make sure you are marking it with something, but I do not think explicitly putting MDNI is going to do much more than just using the above divider.

Again, this post is NOT me saying minors should interact with my smut stuff or message me about it. Read in peace and don't tell me.

I'd like to leave you all with one of my favorites poems:

Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them by Brenna Twohy 💕

[suburbanbonfire]

tagged by @18minutemajor for a hockey art share tag game! I enjoy talking about myself but am terrible at posting so this is perfect. i WILL talk too much, this is a threat.

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favourite hockey art, then tag three hockey artists.

FIRST ART

I made the Kraken Orb (Korb) at the end of the 22-23 season, as a commemoration, although a sort of ironic one considering i had only gotten into hockey in time for the playoffs so there are a couple players here i actually never got to see play at all before making this (Joonas, Jaycob, Burky, Fleury)

it was a whole lot of fun though! Prior to this i was in a months-long art slump after leaving a fandom, so it was a total surprise to have hockey of all things be what revitalized my art.

technically, the very first hockey art from this was Matty; you can kinda tell by the way his lines are a bit thicker than the rest since i wasn't in my groove yet. i also knew coming in that i wanted to arrange the faces in a circle, but didn't plan out beyond that, so i just made sure that i was getting a variety of head directions in my references and hoped for the best. My favorites from this are Gru, Soucy, Dunn, Schultz, Borgen, and Eeli. I think they all turned out really well.

LATEST ART

MEAT CUT MEAT CUT

this one is fun for me because it's quite different from my usual style of art, with lineart and non-realistic forms/face. I've had the concept in my head for awhile after hearing/reading so many interesting descriptions of the physical qualities that good hockey players possess.

'Sacrifice the Body' actually came in mid-art when i had an epiphany doing something like driving my car or an activity similarly unrelated. Before that, it was going to be a lil heart drawn on the chest and the going contender for the label was 'Ferda.' which would've been great, but sacrifice the body just worked too dang well with the themes.

FAVORITE ART

i mean, c'mon. it's gotta be this one.

my magnum opus, my white whale. it came out even better than i saw it in my head and i love everything about it. when i came up with the idea, i had TOTALLY forgotten that Climate Pledge has those giant windows, so when i set out to find references and saw it, it instantly made everything even better with LIGHTING!!!!

It was my first time drawing this kind of interior architecture and although there's definitely things i would do differently now, im so so proud of how it looks and turned out. I was also still drawing through my decade-old laptop at that point, so I had to split up the work on this into two files - i sketched everything, then worked ONLY on the bg until it was about 90% done, then made a flattened copy to open as a new file to draw the players on top of.

I also have a bunch of WIP shots of it in my drafts I guess I'll throw in here now!

initial sketch to get down the composition before i remembered the window | lines of the building! i actually found a 3d virtual tour of CPA from before it was built which had the PERFECT angle, so i screencapped that and straight up traced the architecture. Ultimately, the scoreboard and the paint lines ended up getting moved around.

planning out my lighting in greyscale (i really need to do this more often, i struggle with values so much, alas) | in progress bg! at this point, the ice and the boards/glass were the only things completed. I eventually said 'fuck it' to being able to see the areas behind the stands like you could in all my references, and just put the people dots all the way up.

Now the most gut-wrenching part

THE TAGS

this is where me being bad at posting comes into play, because instead i just lurk and thats not great for forming connections HERE GOES

@ruinedcasket - it has been awesome seeing your art progress! would love 2 hear your thoughts about it

@rouzys - your kraken stuff is so pretty, love how you capture likenesses

oh god oh fuck everyone else i know has already been tagged fuck oh sshit

If You Are An Artist On Hockey Twit And See This, It Is A Sign

[watatsumiis]

hey! ty for liking my tsaritsa so much!!! i'd love to hear more of your thoughts on her, if there are any!

omg of course, she's absolutely stunning, your art style does her so much justice (and honestly is just an awesome gorgeous style in general!!) and tbh your design is how I picture her in my head now !!

I have a lot of thoughts and ideas about the Tsaritsa, a lot of them are just kind of ~vibe~ based and hard to convey, but i'll toss them beneath the cut!

I really like the theory that her 'ideal' is love, like it's such a fun and interesting concept

like, to begin with i imagine she was a very kind deity, not in a familiar way, but in a general sort of .. benevolent to her subjects and open to those that sought an audience with her. Not exactly 'warm', but not entirely shutting them out either

though i imagine that sort of hollowed out as time wore on and she realised that even being an actual deity didn't give her the power she needed to be able to make any real tangible changes to things or help those who were doomed from the start (which is probably a big part of why shes so anti-celestia or whatever)

despite her despair and attitude towards romantic love sort of withering, she places a heavy emphasis on familial love (including found family) and on forming bonds that will stand the test of toil and time

she comes off very aloof, especially to those beneath her, and will actively try to avoid being around others if she can help it. She dislikes forming close attachments

this isnt to mean that she doesn't care. she just cares so much that the only way she can deal with it is by distancing herself, or else she's just setting herself up for repeated heartbreak when her loved ones inevitably die.

the exception to this ? pierro.

pierro is cursed with undeath, and even before that he was someone with a fiercely loyal (and stubborn) streak.

they both told themselves theyd never allow themselves to become attached to someone else after all the losses theyd been through, but in making this pact alongside one another they basically sealed their own fate

there are no simple words for the kind of intertwined, codependent, epic-spanning love-hate they have for one another.

their bond was one forged in the fires of loss and hardened by the ice of grief. despite what they both may say, they're in it for the long haul. Tsaritsa has slowly become accustomed to this idea. Pierro has not and will still vehemently deny it.

i guess to really shave it down id call it a queerplatonic relationship. something unholy and gorgeous. two flowers holding onto a cliffside by the tips of their roots and growing around one another.

the second 'exception' is columbina. i imagine she's like a weird nibling to the tsaritsa. she was picked to be amongst the harbingers because of her ability to light up any room she's in (i imagine tsaritsa secretly has a nickname for her that's somewhere along the lines of 'songbird' because of her voice ngl)

outside of this, the tsaritsa is cool and aloof and works very hard to maintain her composure, especially when under scrutiny. she is brilliant at keeping this facade in place.

until she's no longer in the public gaze, that is.

i like to think she's a tiny bit of a goofball, she has a soft spot for 'dad jokes' that make pierro roll his eyes and rub his temples, and she quite enjoys wine (im sorry but if she were a facebook mom her page would be minion memes and posts talking about how its wine o-clock)

she also rather enjoys slapstick humour - there are a few dottore clones running around who have perfected it enough so that she has to cover her mouth with a hand to stop her subjects from seeing the way her lips twitch upwards as she holds back her laughter

she's also really, really petty. not that she'd ever do anything about it, but more than once pierro has found himself in her chambers late at night, watching as she paces back and forth, her sixth glass of wine in hand, and complains about how that 'brick-brained geo archon just won't sign the damn contract! isn't that his entire shtick?!'

she also has a soft spot for kids, or people who have a youthful energy about them. it reminds her that maybe not all is bad in the world, and that she's going to change it for the better for their sake.

I like to think she's extremely good at various sports - i love the idea featured on the asker's blog about her having an elk instead of a horse. that's so cool and lives in my brain rent free and forever tbh. her and pierro on their steeds racing through a snowy forest on a rare free afternoon

i think she would've once been the type to enjoy prosey, flowery words, long poems, romantic tales of star-crossed lovers, that kind of thing. she read a lot and even wrote some. not any more though.

she has a very stern and strict air about her and won't hesitate to play into that if she feels like she needs to, but honestly she's got a good sense of humour on her. things that pierro scolds the other harbingers and such for are often things that she secretly finds really funny

though ALSO she's a stickler for good manners. i like to think that has extended to the snezhnayans , who are, when dealing with those outside of their immediate familial circles, are super duper polite (even if their tones may come off as abrupt). there's also a very heavily laid-on vibe of 'respect your elders' in snezhnaya.

she has such motherly vibes, but in a really standoffish way. she wont tell someone directly that she cares about them or what happens to them, but it'll be rerouted through like three other people like a game of telephone. like, yeah, that one person she caught shivering while on guard is gonna get a nice new pair of gloves but it will be from an anonymous donor (or just shoved into their hands by pierro with an annoyed grunt)

honestly now ive started im kind of finding it hard to stop but i just adore the tsaritsa so much and i love love love how you draw her so much, she's just so amazing and feels so like.. real, y'know? thank you so much for this ask, i really enjoyed rambling and thinking about the tsaritsa some more. i think your design and ideas should be canon actually

[henriiiii-1001]

general update

its been over a month since i like. ig "left" tumblr? i havent been active here at all and only checked it for any notifs. despite the weird gore rbs i got like. two days ago, ive actually been doing p okay. im mentally preparing to go back to college next week (just to my apartment tho, classes dont start until the 26th), and ive actually been drawing a bit more! mostly for art collabs i joined, but i still think theyre p cool!! i hope to post them here once those deadlines come up bc i wanna show you guys, esp to those who dont follow my insta.

i'll most likely come back to tumblr when i upload those drawings though. it'll give me enough time to adjust back to college by the time that day comes. ive also been thinking a LOT abt like. oc lore, specifically for ug. i will also open my askbox up again by that time in case you guys wanna ask questions or just check in (ofc ur not forced to do so, do so if you want).

i also need to update my pjsk stats post. i need to rb it again so y'all can see if ur interested

uuhhh that's it for now. see you on the flipside! (or on instagram. or discord. either one LMAO)