#Hojo when I catch you. When I catch you Hojo.

[valentimmy]

I’m going to put him in my pocket

[renohasbigtits]

Vincent and Hojo in the third part

[diejager]

👉👈 imagine reader as a cow living in a nice farmer but because they doesn’t produce any milk than other cow, the owner was worry so they brought lot of Bulls (task 141, kortac) to chose as mate but all of them wanted the cow.

Credit to @frogchiro and @nymphany for this!

Pasture Cw: hybrid, mention of breeding, milking (milk and cum), SLIGHT DUB-CON, SLIGHT DARKFIC, tell me if I missed any.

Price, the gentle, bear-looking farmer, had initially planned to have you milked, his high-end and pedigree from an ancestry of HoJos spanning many generations that he bought for a high price, soft and plump in just the right areas. He heard from Kate that she and her wife had bought a couple of HoJos, making quite the profit on their milk, fatty and thick, but silky on the tongue. He wanted to have such luxury in his arsenal, a cute, little heifer that he’d milk for the sake of tasting and drinking it to fill his stomach with warmth until he decided to sell a few bottles.

He wasn’t in any need for money, he had enough to last the rest of his life without lifting a finger, but he liked keeping busy, work and routine beaten into his body from the military. He already had a business with the amount of bulls he bought, broad and sturdy, powerful hybrids that he could milk for their potent semen and labour. Most were obedient despite a bull’s temperament, listening to his orders like his subordinates would, following them to a T without a complain. But there was always that one who acted out, either from sheer cheekiness or mischief, he would reprimand them, punish them if it went too far.

He thought he’d experiment with you, his new little obsession he would coddle and pamper with a house of your own and an open stall. You were so well behaved that he could leave the house open to let you graze and sunbathe under the warm sun when you weren’t busy with him training you with various aspect of your new life as his prized possession. You were everything he could’ve ever wanted, obedient, gentle, soft-spoken and eager to please him, letting him suckle on your swollen and heavy tits, your ears flickering back and forth and tail wrapped around his thigh.

His only issue was that you had problems producing milk. You would produce trickles of it some days and a gush of milk the other, it was a disorderly affair that he sought to fix if he wanted to create a stable trade with you alone. When he brought the issue up with Kate, she told him that cows usually produced more milk after birthing, breasts heavy with milk and aching to be milked of it’s produce, thick and rich tasting to raise a little calf that he would soon sell than let them take your attention away.

“Introduce her to the bulls, they might help,” were the mind blowing words that Kate’s wife gave him, the cementing proposition that had him make his mind on the next step.

He introduced you to his bulls, bringing them outside of their stalls and letting them roam the fenced pasture beside yours, watching you lay under the sun and ears flick away a buzzing bug. They’ve seen other hybrids before, women especially, but have never shown any interest in of them. He feared he’d have to introduce you to another farmer’s hybrid (Price wanted to take thing into his own hands, but he didn’t know how you’d take it to his advances) if you didn’t catch their attention, bringing in a stranger to breed you.

Fortunately, they were quick to scent you out, seemingly riled up and pumping out more seed since he bought you, restlessly wandering in circles in their stalls to sate the need to get to you as fast as they could. Their eyes gleaming with arousal and nostrils flared to sniff you out, stalking to the edge of their pen, the metal unflinching to their harsh grip on the fence. They looked starved - possessed - with how eager they were to cross the barrier, hollering at you and trying to coax you towards their side of Price’s land.

Soap and König looked the most out of it, slumped over with deluded perversion of need and hunger, arms reaching for your seated figure, staring at the group of bulls with wide eyes. Nikto wasn’t any better, both he, Krueger and Ghost glaring down at you with vicious and burning eyes, lost in their minds of dark desires and corrupted dreams. Gaz and Horangi were softer, more hesitant to spook you, but they were as restless as the rest of their housemates. You were none the wiser, gazing at them with your pretty, doe eyes, meeting their eyes with innocent and a cute smile, always ready to please others.

Perhaps he should’ve acquainted you all before.

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

Play fighting with any of these guys can either be really fun or a traumatic experience.

Just a few play fighting hc’s

AGSZC+Hojo

————————————————————————

Zack

Immediately catches on to your antics and “fights” back, also always starts a fight with you

Will definitely lift you up and toss you over his shoulder

Lets you win sometimes unless you start shit talking, will start a new round for your transgressions

Loves slamming you onto the bed or couch, absolutely takes advantage of the fact he can swing you around

He definitely knows a set or two (three) of wwe moves, can’t tell me otherwise

Will stop to make sure you’re okay after underestimating his strength, tossing you completely over the bed

Didn’t play fight with you for months after said incident ^^^^^

This boy has too much energy and is going to play with you until you’re wheezing

Will fight you any and everywhere

Angeal

Had to learn that despite him telling you a very very firm no you were going to climb him like a tree and attempt to secure a rear naked choke

Easily breaks free of any hold you manage to surprise him with (if you can get lucky enough to catch him off guard)

Caves in to your playfulness eventually but asks if you’re okay 45 million times because he can’t “hurt his baby”

Never lets you win but will prolong fights for your sake since you call him mean

Almost always ends in cuddles

Uses said cuddles as a tactic to end your assault. catching on you eventually make it your playful way of asking for cuddles

Only play fights with you in private but will occasionally do it in front of friends

Sephiroth

That man’s reflexes almost took your head off, looked at you with pure bewilderment the first time because “why do you want to hit me?”

Definitely has to get use to this form of playfulness but grows to like the amount of physical contact

On the rarest occasion he might playfully attack first, stopping whatever he was doing to play with you before casually going back about his business

Can get fed up pretty fast sometimes, will pin you down and ask “are you done now”

Memorizes any strategy you have against him (not that you ever win)

Has no idea what it even means to let you win, he’s undefeated. “you have to earn the title”

Only uses 2% of his strength when fighting you, you try to force him to use even more strength

Only play fights at home

Cloud

“What the hell are you doing?” Another bewildered look, he’s no fun right now

He’s not going to play with you…at first

Caves in after months of attempts, to your surprise he attacked you first

(He’s just hard ^)

Also likes the amount of physical contact because he’s touch starved

You thought this guy would let you win? No. Absolutely not—he’ll be damned. You know that boy loves to win.

Is definitely gonna go 3D Brawlers on you and 3 piece combo the shit out of you.

“Are you okay?” He’s smirking as he asks, as though he didn’t just leave you on the floor to die

Definitely only does this when it’s the just two of you

Hojo

Don’t even bother with this man. isn’t entertaining anything ever

Christ he’s an old man why are you trying to fight him anyways

Just wants you to get back in your pod “don’t make this more difficult than it has to be”

Slaps your hands away (kinda sassy) “I have work to do”

Are you supposed to care about his work when he only lets you out of your pod once a week? You’ve gotta enjoy this

Still touching him and refusing to get back in your pod, he sees clearly now you must want to breed

Genesis (The Rizzler)

Started play fighting with you first, he’s gotta see what positions he can contort you into for later

Also loves tossing you around, has to show you that his muscles aren’t just for show

The biggest show off of them all, isn’t going to let you win. not unless you sit on it

100% going to hunt you down for trying to slip in a shot, running away after you hit him

Likes holding you against him as all you can do is giggle and squirm

Almost always ends with you naked underneath him. I don’t make the rules, he’s gonna tickle you out of those drawers

Knows you want to fight before you know you want to fight

Will play with you in front of any of his friends and at home, also not very public about it.

————————————————————————

I call Genesis The Rizzler on a regular basis, you couldn’t even convince me his name is Genesis anymore

[dark-konohagakure2]

sephiroth forcing himself on a girlie thats too shy to talk to him?

tw: noncon, power imbalance, size difference, humiliation, degradation, semi-public sex, misogyny, victim blaming, verbal abuse

All characters depicted are 18+

Sephiroth is well aware of his little fanclub of swooning fangirls who are all head over heals in love with him, he doesn't hate it, but he certainly doesn't like it either, he treats their existence with the same passive indifference that one would treat ants on a sidewalk, uncaring if they are there or not, Sephiroth has about as many love confessions under his belt as he does inches of hair on his head, but none of these women interest him very much.

That is the case for a while until his keen senses pick up on someone following him, he initially assumes it's just Hojo coming to pester him again, or Zack coming to ask him more idiotic questions, but instead he catches a glimpse of a girl peeking at him from around the corner, only to quickly hide when he turns around. Being a trained SOLIDER from birth, Sephiroth immediately assumes hostile intent from her, what other reason would she have to follow him whilst concealing her presence?

He'll almost immediately confront her, although not in a brutish manner, no, a man like Sephiroth is one to use cold intimidation over such savage tactics. He'll corner the little spy rather quickly, placing his gloved hand on the wall next to her head as he asks her what exactly she thinks she's doing. He'll watch as she flounders about like a fish on land, struggling to get a single word out as her face turns a bright red, that when Sephiroth will notice a very interesting looking note clutched to her chest.

Sephiroth will pluck the note from her hands the moment he sees it, holding it out of her reach with his superior height, ignoring her protests and pleas as he begins to read it, sneering at the flowery words and shoddy handwriting, it's pitiful how little effort she put into confessing her silly feelings to one as important as Sephiroth. He'll make it clear that her little crush is nothing but delusional wishful thinking, but that won't stop him from taking advantage of it, and of her.

"Oh... How cute. Did you really think a few scribbles on paper would be enough to win me over? How pathetic. But I suppose I can give you what you so clearly want..."

He'll pay no mind to her protests as he rips her shirt open right on the spot, Sephiroth doesn't see why she's protesting, she said she likes him, and now she doesn't? Are all woman this indecisive? Sephiroth has never really understood women, or men either for that matter, he's always had trouble understanding those beneath him, but none of that matters to him now, all that matters is giving this cute little stalker exactly what she deserves.

Sephiroth isn't gentle with her at all, it's just not in his nature to treat anyone with kindness, not even an innocent young woman who's only crime is having a crush. He'll cover her mouth with a large leather clad hand as his hips snap into her's from behind, fucking her just around the corner of the hallway and in the blind spot of the many security cameras in Shinra's hallways.

Despite forcing her to be silent, Sephiroth won't do the same, instead he'll whisper venomous insults into her ear, telling her that she's no different than his other admirers, that this is the most attention any man would deign to give her, and how this is what she wanted from him, so she should be grateful, he's practically a saint for humoring her pitifully misguided affection towards him, an affection that definitely won't replace after this encounter, instead being replaced with fear.

He'll be finished with her rather quickly, as if his body itself is in a hurry to be done with her, Sephiroth won't care if he cums directly inside her, even if he doesn't knock her up, she should be grateful for his attention and his seed, he doesn't give that to just anyone, only the shy little brats who don't know how to talk to people like a big girl.

"Hmpf, I have no more use for you. Now go back to your little hovel like a good girl, unless you want more of my attentions, that is..."

Sephiroth will watch her leave without another word, showing faint amusement at the sight of her limping away, her pussy leaking his semen as she does. He finds her very amusing, in fact he might even consider using his high standing in Shinra to get her alone again.

[sephifrog]

Sephiroth Alphabet Headcanons

A -Affirmations (what he calls you)

Treasure, pet sweetheart

B -Blush (does he blush when you're close by?/How do you make him blush)

He would will it away in public not wanting to have people catch him lacking however when alone he will allow himself the pleasure of letting his guard down and feeling the flush on his cheeks while you fuss over him

C -Comfort (how does he comfort you or what do you do that comforts him)

Another one who loves his hair played with, face hidden in your chest and letting the warmth from your body ground him, if in public link pinkies and he can breathe again all in all you as a whole are calming

He’s very awkward when comforting you he only knows how you comfort him so in the beginning he mimics what you do for him, playing with your hair. holding you close but as your relationship progresses he starts to branch out, distracting you by talking about his swords because you told him his voice calms you, letting you rant about anything and everything 

D -Dates ( what do you do on your dates)

Dinner at his flat! He likes being open with you but it’s hard to do in public so he cooks for you/you cook together or you watch him train he shows off but he would refuse to admit it

Your first date was pretty much perfect he almost burnt the steak because he was nervous but it was the best you ever had and he feels his chest fill with pride when you tell him as such

E -End (what would end your relationship?)

 Like Genesis Being in Silver Elite but for different reasons -if you lied, feel he seldom trusts people, and if you break it it's over, and if you side with Hojo in any way

F -Fear (what he’s afraid of)

You being afraid of him, you’re the only person that’s treated him as a human and not a weapon so seeing fear in your eyes would break him- also if Hojo was to take you from him

G -Gossip

He’ll listen to you no matter what you’re talking about but rarely takes part in it unless it’s about any of his friends because man would use that against them

H -Hold (how he holds you)

He’s afraid he would hurt you at the beginning so it’s always a light hold when you’ve been together for a while he holds you more firmly as long as you're against him he doesn’t care how he holds you

I -Injured (what would he do if you were hurt?)

Death to whoever hurt you he would destroy the world for you -if he isn’t allowed to kill them he would make them suffer in training

J -Jealous (is he Jealous?)

Not really it’s more of a homicidal rage if someone is trying to take you from him :)

K -Kiss (favourite place to kiss)

He loves kissing you full stop but if he had to choose your collarbone and pulse points (wrist, neck, etc)

He feels loved and safe when you kiss his scars and head 

L -Laugh (something that makes him laugh)

When you try and square up with him or when you steal his clothes

M -Memory (his favourite memory with you)

When you took care of him after his treatments 

N -Needy

Surprisingly yeah- I feel like he is he never shows it through 

O -Over (what is something you had to get over as partners)

His fears of hurting you 

P -PDA

Only if hidden, pinky linking under the table, brushing hands as you walk past

Q -Quip (can he joke around with you? Do you have inside jokes)

His humor is dry and fleeting but if you laugh he feels his chest warm

R -Romantic (is he romantic?)

Not really in a traditional sense but he looks after you and watches over you That is the only way he really knows how to express his affection but he’s learning

S -Sephiroth

He is hard to win over but when you have he’s hard to lose he would make sure you’re taken care of but can disappear on missions for days. He would never stray and only has eyes for you, you are one of the most protected people in the world

When he snaps he either kills you first in a rage or takes you somewhere secluded and tries to live out his days with just you (and your children because he would want a family)

T -Treasure (what is something he had that reminds him of you and what did he give you to remind you of him?)

He gave you one of his first weapons something he wouldn’t even let others look at but he wanted you protected and only trusted weapons he used and modded

You gave him love something he never really experienced and even after all the gifts you made and brought for him your love is the thing he treasures most 

U -Unlikely (what is something that he would probably never do)

He would never Hurt you purposely 

V -vulnerable

Only with you when in the safety of his flat/your house

W -Wedding (would he want to get married?)

Honestly, whatever you want he would be happy with but if he had to choose, a small intimate wedding with those he trusts 

X -(e)X (would he be friends with an ex)

He’s never had one and if he did No there’s a reason they split and it would have to be something serious for him to let go of them 

Y -Year (how would he act on New Year's?)

Doesn’t really care for celebrations and if he’s not forced to a Shinra party he would want to spend the night with you

Z -Zoo (would you get any pets?)

Feel like Angeal would talk him into getting a dog-

[silverflqmes]

Any HCs for Sephiroth with an s/o that's afraid of thunder? 👀💖

໒⦂ 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀 𝐇𝐂𝐒.

notes. hi hi, i did my best to compile some headcanons, personally i think sephiroth might also be scared himself, so a little comfort will go his way too :’)

genre. hurt + comfort

sephiroth x gn!reader.

⌗ the fear of thunder and lightning, otherwise known as astraphobia, is commonly shared among most and completely understandable to sephiroth whenever you find it in yourself to tell him.. unless you give yourself away on accident.

⌗ i feel that due to his enhanced senses and of all the bullshit hojo put him through, he might have developed a sensitivity to loud noises and flashes — but he has learnt to grit his teeth and bear it.

⌗ on some nights it can be a little harder for him, but he feels at ease if you are around and does his best to protect you since you are suffering from the same — if not, worse.

⌗ if you take it upon yourself to speak up about your fear, rest assured, it’s a judgment free zone. sephiroth neither has the place to judge, nor does he shun you for it because he understands it well and wishes to do all that he can to help you through your fear.

⌗ if you have difficulty telling him, trust me with how observant he is, he’s likely to put the pieces together pretty easily. but even still, he will wait until you are ready to tell him.

⌗ but if a thunderstorm comes and you have failed to do, he will take matters into his own hands and at the minute he catches wind of your discomfort.

⌗ it could be a flinch, the tiniest whimper, you ducking to cover your ears or a haphazard excuse to leave the room — but sephiroth will know.

⌗ he would give you a moment if you left the room, but when he doesn’t see you return, he will approach and either join you wherever you are hiding, no matter how small the space is ( this man will cram himself in there like a cat don’t underestimate him ), or pull you into his hold for you to hide in his chest while he soothes your shaking body with his touch.

⌗ from the day he discovered your fear, he would regularly check the weather, making sure to be home whenever a thunderstorm would take place to comfort you through it.

⌗ if he’s away or cannot be home on time from either a mission or meeting, he’s got you on speed dial and keeps you on call for however long you need.

⌗ if he cannot call you at all because fuck shinra sometimes ( all the time ), he took it upon himself to buy you one of those weighted anxiety plushies — or even a normal plush for you to cuddle to feel safe. personally i’m uh.. thinking a gray kitty with cerulean colored eyes to remind you of him :’) so that you feel like he’s still there in a sense.

⌗ another thing is maybe audio recordings of him ( probably just random stuff about his day and sweet nothings ) for you to listen to if you need to hear his voice in the case again, that he cannot be there or phone you.

⌗ throughout a thunderstorm, he would do his best to take your mind off it and make it a little more bearable if at all possible.

⌗ me personally, i like rain but i’m no good with thunderstorms that come with strong winds — the sounds give me a bit of ptsd, especially if i’m on my own. but i try to do things to take my mind off it, which i will list through sephiroth<3

⌗ thunder is a sound which can be solved by playing something over it. whether it’s a show, movie or music, even conversation — you bet your boyfriend is providing whatever he can to mask the unpleasant noises outside.

⌗ rainy days can be nice to get all bundled up in blankets with tea, hot coco or coffee — any warm beverage that you personally enjoy, and sephiroth is willing to use that as a way of making the storm a little easier to handle. pairing the experience with a good book or poetry is also nice — certainly if he offers to read to you. goodness his voice is so nice..

⌗ furthermore he has the curtains pulled in your shared apartment if you find it easier not to see what’s happening outside and he takes it upon himself to make homemade soup for dinner<3

⌗ when the storm drags into the evening, he takes you into his arms and holds you as tight as he possibly can, shielding you from the world beyond his windows.

⌗ even as you tremble and tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, you can hear sephiroth humming, the gentle and steady pitter patter of his heartbeat as he smooths a hand down your back. gradually, it relaxes you and your eyes begin to get heavy.

⌗ you hold on tight to your beloved, allowing his protective hold to envelope you wholly as you at last give into sleep, aware that he would keep you safe throughout the evening and remainder of the thunderstorm.

⌗ bonus for sephiroth.. on the rare occasions that his own fear gets the better of him, you do your best to muster whatever courage you can throw together and hold him closely.

⌗ you card your fingers through his silky hair, allowing him to bury his face in either your neck, shoulder, chest — wherever he feels most comfortable — as you rub his back as tenderly as possible, vowing to be there through the very end as he has with your moments of fear.

notes. i may have gotten a little too detailed and indulged a little more than i should have.. but i’m hoping it’s to your likings, tysm for requesting again<3

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[altocat]

Who among the Firsts that has better table manners and who doesn't (or forgets when the food is delicious) but constantly needs to be practicing before going to a fancy dinner or event?

Angeal: He does his best. And I do mean his BEST. It's hard to take the country boy out of the soldier though. For all his hard work and convictions of honor, Angeal occasionally forgets himself. He practices all night every week to make sure he's on point...only to mess up during the moment of truth.

Zack: Genuinely doesn't give a rat's ass about table manners. He doesn't eat like a wild animal or anything, but he also doesn't really make an effort beyond Angeal occasionally elbowing him. It is what it is. He'd honestly rather be back at his place eating hot pockets and playing video games than at a fancy dinner gala.

Genesis: Being brought up wealthy, Genesis has the most refined table manners and requires no practice at all. It comes naturally. Many of his fans have pointed out his rather elegant way of eating and holding his utensils. There's an entire tiktok compilation of him gracefully sipping wine. The only time when Genesis loses his cool is whenever he makes eye contact with Sephiroth. Then his poise and grace either devolves into aggressive competitive eating or something slightly flirtatious. And god forbid if you catch him with the latter.

Sephiroth: Sephiroth was bred and conditioned to have very good manners and practices on occasion to make sure he's got everything right. During most dinner galas or public events, he's very refined and delicate. HOWEVER, he's made it his mission in life to throw all manners out the window the SECOND Hojo shows up. The second he spots Hojo in attendance, he makes sure to go full caveman on his steak, giving no shits about how many eyes are watching him. It's pure spite. Hojo has since been excluded from such events as a result.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Hmmmm.... Sephiroth gets sent out on a LONG ass mission on a Tuesday by himself. (a segment of one of your asks)

The Wild Goose Chase Prank On Sephiroth

• Zack's most elaborate prank yet has Sephiroth as its victim. He has Kunsel hack into the mission roster's system and give Sephiroth a solo mission to the middle of nowhere in the western continent.

• It's summer, it's humid, and Sephiroth's assignment is to find an escaped creature from R&D labeled a "Triserpoco"

• Zack photoshopped an extra leg and a zolom head on a chocobo.

• Sephiroth takes the mission, seething with rage as he thinks about the poor creature having been subjected to Hojo's experimentation—it's the main reason Sephiroth doesn't question the mission. Knowing Hojo, a chocobo-zolom hybrid is something he would pull.

• He's flown out to a quiet little village near the coast, where the mission detailed that it had last been seen.

• The villagers are absolutely perplexed to see a Shinra helicopter touch down on their quaint village, and even more so when the Sephiroth appears. But nothing could've prepared the poor mayor for the "Triserpoco."

*Sephiroth holds up the clearly photoshopped picture*

Sephiroth: I'm looking for this creature.

Mayor:

Sephiroth: Don't laugh.

Mayor: I'm sorry.

Sephiroth: This is a serious matter. It's classified as a highly dangerous and invasive creature that could—sir please stop laughing, your village is in danger.

• After the mayor asks the other officials who confirm that there has never been a sighting of that creature in the village, Sephiroth takes matters into his own hands. He figures that since chocobos flock to grass lands and Zoloms to marshes, he'll have better luck on the outskirts of the village where there's nature.

• He asks a curious and starry-eyed group of kids near the town hall where he can locate the local chocobo-keeper, or perhaps the farmer. Once the kids finally finish asking him for his autograph and waxing poetic about how awesome he is, they point him in the right direction.

• He decides to try his luck and ask the kids if they've seen the Triserpoco, since children are naturally adventurous and would be the first to find some mythical creature when playing in nature.

Child #1: I never saw that in my life, Mister Sephiroth!

Child #2: Me neither! It looks fake. Are you sure that's not a photoshopped picture?

Sephiroth: No, children. This is a Triserpoco. It is a very real and very dangerous creature that I must catch before it harms the townspeople.

Child #3: Hmm I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist.

Sephiroth: It does too.

Child #3: Does not.

Sephiroth: Does too.

Child #3: Does not.

Child #4: I know where it is! I saw it that creature by down the river!

Sephiroth: Ah, thank you.

*He turns to child #3, lowers himself to his eye level, and leans in to whisper in his ear*

Sephiroth: It does too.

• He finds the local chocobo-keeper at his farm—after traversing a field full of clingy chocobos who want to cuddle him.

Sephiroth: I'm looking for this creature. Have you seen it?

Farmer: Son that's photoshopped.

Sephiroth: I appreciate the concern, but this is Shinra's official image of the Triserpoco, a hybrid who escaped captivity and was last sighted in this village.

Farmer:

Sephiroth:

Farmer: Do you want us to contact Shinra and tell them that you're here?

Sephiroth: I assure you I'm of sane mind. I'm just trying to locate this creature and get it back to Midgar before it harms someone.

• The farmer tells Sephiroth he'll have better luck looking it in thing in the woods, since that's the best place something could hide.

• Sephiroth declined the farmer's wife's offer to join them for lunch, but accepts the borrowed chocobo for his journey.

• Sephiroth rides to the woods on the chocobo and begins his search for the Triserpoco. One hour in, he hears some ruffling in the trees and stops.

• Bandits. As if he didn't have enough to deal with.

• They try to ambush him unsuccessfully. Sephiroth manages to protect the chocobo and fight the group of men off, tying them to a nearby tree.

Bandit #1: Let us go! You defeated us already!

Sephiroth: Absolutely not. While I've got you, have you seen this creature?

*Sephiroth pulls out the Triserpoco picture and shows it to them*

Bandit #1:

Sephiroth: Well?

Bandit #2: Is this a joke?

Sephiroth: Do I look like a comedian to you?

Bandit #1: That's photoshop.

Sephiroth: It's a Triserpoco, a dangerous hybrid bred in captivity that went missing around this area.

Bandit #3: That's bad photoshop too.

Bandit #2: Dude are you high? Guys maybe he's lost or something.

Sephiroth: I am not inebriated nor am I insane.

Bandit #1: Are you sure Shinra sent you here to look for that?

Sephiroth: Yes. If you are able to provide information I might be inclined to let you go.

Bandit #2: My cousin photoshopped a picture of herself marrying Genesis Rhapsodos once and told everyone it was real.

Sephiroth:

Bandit #2: She's in jail now for setting her house on fire.

Sephiroth: What on earth does this story have to do with my question?

Bandit #2: She legally changed her name to Sephiroth when she was 18.

Sephiroth: I'm leaving.

• Sephiroth ventures further into the woods, stopping twice to pause, rest and consider retirement a total of 58 times. He keeps his eyes peeled for the creature, but even he's starting to doubt why Shinra would send him out here alone with no additional information about the sightings.

• He doesn't dwell too much on it though. Hojo's involvement and R&D's penchant for secrecy makes the mission sound normal.

• Sephiroth finally comes across a river and ascertains that it's the same river the enthusiastic three-year-old claimed to have seen the Triserpoco. He sees a old woman fishing by the river bank and decides to ask her for information.

*34 minutes later*

Sephiroth: Ma'am, for the last time. While I'm flattered, I have no interest in marrying your granddaughter. I'm sure she's lovely but—

Old Woman: You're gay.

Sephiroth: Excuse me?

Old Woman: That's perfectly fine! I have a nephew who's gay. Oh, I should've known. You look very gay, did you know that?

Sephiroth: I wish to speak to you about a creature that escaped Shinra's captivity a few weeks ago—

Old Woman: What about Genesis Rhapsodos? Do you think you could introduce him to my granddaughter?

Sephiroth: Ma'am if I look gay, he looks like he's been inhaling the rainbow since birth.

Old Woman:

*Sephiroth pulls out the picture*

Sephiroth: Have you seen the Triserpoco?

Old Woman: Oh, I know what that is. The kids these days call it photoshop.

Sephiroth, through clenched teeth: It's not an edited image. It's a real creature. Have you seen it or not?

Old Woman: You'll have better luck looking for that thing in the mountains.

Sephiroth: Why the mountains?

Old Woman: Have you checked the mountains?

Sephiroth: No.

Old Woman: There you go.

• Sephiroth thanks her and leaves for the mountains. On his way there, he stumbles across a path near the lake that leads to some wet lands. He figures he should try his luck there before going up the mountain.

• There he finds a group of teenagers hunting and decides to avoid them entirely and instead try his luck with the man collecting crabs in the marsh.

Sephiroth: Hello. I'm looking for this creature, the Triserpoco. Have you seen it, perhaps?

*Sephiroth holds up the image*

Man: That's photoshop.

Sephiroth: It's a Triserpoco.

Man: That doesn't exist.

Sephiroth: It's a hybrid bred in captivity. Only one of its kind exists.

Man: I think someone's playing a joke on you, boy. That looks like something straight out of a horror movie.

Sephiroth: So you have not seen the Triserpoco?

Man: No one in the world has seen the Tripsipico.

Sephiroth: Do you have any idea where I could find more information about the Triserpoco?

Man: You could try a psychiatrist.

Sephiroth:

Man: Have you spoken to that group of teenagers over there?

Sephiroth: No.

Man: Do you intend to?

Sephiroth: Please don't make me.

Man: .....?

Sephiroth: Fine. I'll talk to them. Thank you for your time and help.

• Sephiroth turns around and begrudgingly makes his way towards the group of noisy teens. Just as he had feared, one of them is wearing a Silver Elite T-shirt. After the initial fanfare, groveling and autographs, Sephiroth calms them down enough.

*He shows them the picture*

Teen #1: What is that, satan??

Sephiroth: IT'S A TRISERPOCO.

Teen #2: That looks like bad—

Sephiroth: I KNOW I KNOW BAD PHOTOSHOP.

Teen #3: Uh..Are you oka—

Sephiroth: I'M FINE.

Teen #4: Really? Because you look—

Sephiroth: GAY, YES, WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT.

• For the first time in his life Sephiroth manages to scare away a group of people without needing to take his sword out. He sighs, turns around, and begins his trek up the mountain. He wonders wether those therapy vouchers Angeal gave him for his birthday are still valid.

• He decides that if the Triserpoco isn't anywhere on the mountain, he'll declare this as a mission failed and go home. It's a foreign concept to him. He hasn't failed a mission since he was a child.

• Back at the headquarters, Zack can't sit still and finish his overdue mission reports. He keeps giggling and thinking of the wild goose chase he sent Sephiroth on. This distracts Genesis, who's on the SOLDIER lounge trying to read.

Genesis: What's so funny?

Zack: I'm playing a prank on Sephiroth. I had the mission roster send him out to the western continent to look for a monster that doesn't exist.

Genesis: That's brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?

*Angeal walks in*

Angeal: Has anyone seen Sephiroth? Director Lazard's sent for him but no one can find him.

Zack: He's out on a mission looking for the Triserpoco.

Angeal: The what?

*Zack holds up an image of the photoshopped creature, unable to contain his laugh*

Genesis: That's what you sent Sephiroth on a wild goose chase for?? That photoshop is horrendous! He's never going to buy that!

Zack: He already did! He left on his mission nine hours ago. He should be back any moment now empty handed.

Angeal: He's going to murder you. He's going to shove your head in an oven and make you suffocate on the fumes from your hair gel.

Zack: No he's not! Sephiroth will think it's hilarious. He hasn't failed a mission since he was a runt. This is refreshing for him!

*And then the elevator doors open. Sephiroth steps out, looking exhausted as he pulls a Three-Legged-Chocobo-Zolom hybrid on a leash*

Sephiroth: Good evening, gentlemen.

Zack:

Sephiroth: I found the Triserpoco.

Zack:

Sephiroth: It's appalling what atrocities Hojo uses R&D's resources for.

Zack:

Sephiroth: Anyway, I must take it back up to the labs.

Zack: But this is impossible...The Triserpoco doesn't exist....It's photoshop....

*Sephiroth turns to Angeal and hands the leash to him*

Sephiroth: Hold this for me.

*Sephiroth unsheathes The Masamune*

Sephiroth: COME HERE.

Zack: WAIT WAIT I'M SORRY I'M SORRY OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW ANGEAL HELP.

*Zack runs away as Sephiroth chases him, hurling balls of firaga at his feet*

[drabblesandimagines]

Materia Pops

Vincent Valentine x reader Fluffy nonsense, potential for minor spoilers depending on your knowledge of the FFVII compilation, and Vincent is def out of character at this point in the game but let me dream...

Costa del Sol seems stiflingly hot this visit round, though maybe that’s more due to the manner in which you’d arrived, frazzled and somewhat flustered from the events over the past few days – surviving the trials of Hojo’s laboratory, followed by the Tiny Bronco making a crash landing and then Cid rejigging the craft into a boat to make it back to the beach resort.

It had been hectic and frightening, meaning you were given little opportunity to converse with the newest member of your ragtag crew, one Vincent Valentine, after a more than questionable introduction.

It had all happened so fast – the so-called security guard transforming into a hulking beast, leaving your party with more than a fair number of bruises and abrasions as you fought. The noises were sickening as he had returned back to his body – bones cracking, splintering in all direction, accompanied by pained grunts as he lay catching his breath upon the floor.

Cait Sith had approached, cautiously, saying something about how Vincent was a former Turk and had some history with Sephiroth.

You’d watched as he struggled to get up to his feet, limping back towards his sanctum. You don’t know exactly why you rushed forward when he stumbled, trying to steady him by his elbow. You felt his arm tense under your fingers, before his eyes flashed red and he yanked himself free from your touch with such ferocity, sending you crashing on your tailbone on the concrete floor. Only a second later, Barret’s gun arm cocked behind you, swiftly followed by a gust of air as Cloud readied his sword in retaliation.

You stumble back up to your feet with a poorly concealed wince, holding your hands aloft. “Sorry. I just-”

Vincent lurched forward, resting his cheek against the wooden door to catch his breath before he growled out an order.

“Get out… now.”

It was a complete surprise when he had boarded the plane hours later, after you’d downed a couple of potions and replenished your supplies within Nibelheim itself, somewhat thankful to say goodbye to the odd town. Vincent had made his way to the very back of the plane, giving a polite nod as he sat opposite, legs swiftly crossed, eyes cast down upon his lap.

Every once in a while, you swore his gaze fixed on you – a prickling feeling upon your scalp, though you’d never caught him looking, his chin tucked back under his collar so you couldn’t see the unspoken words on his lips.

Vincent had offered you a gloved hand when you’d hesitated, looking at the gap between the boat and the dock, worried you might fall by how big of a step it needed to be.

You’d taken it without hesitation and he’d pulled you up with ease, immediately releasing his grip once he seemed confident you were on safer footing.

“Thank you-” But he’d already turned and started to walk towards the ramp at an impressive speed.

The rest of the group seemed content to split up whilst Cid hung back to continue tinkering with the Bronco to make sure it could make the next part of its journey.

No-one was changing into beachwear at least – it didn’t feel right to truly relax, ready to set off again as soon as possible, but you decide you can at least wander the streets again, deciding to forego the segway this time.

“Beat the heat with this magical treat!” The vendor yells from his cart as you approach. “Materia pops have arrived in Costa del Sol…”

The small board positioned besides the cart shows iced globes upon sticks – all different flavours. It did look refreshing, especially as the sun bared down upon you.

You pull out your gil pouch, only to find it disappointingly empty. Of course, you’d spent the last of yours on potions and whatnot back at Nibelheim.

The vendor had already spotted you, beckoning you closer. “What will it be?”

“Ah, sorry… Gil’s a little light.” You apologise with a polite smile, putting your pouch back. “Maybe next time.”

You hurry away, deciding to head down to the shaded seats by the Card Carnival. You could spectate any matches going on down there and get out of the blazing heat – probably could even keep an eye on Cid...

It is a little cooler, thankfully – a refreshing breeze coming in off the sea. You lean back in the chair and take a deep breath, deciding to savour the moment of relaxation whilst you could, for you’d soon be traversing across again in search of the Temple of the Ancients.

It isn’t long until you are interrupted by a subtle clear of a throat. You open your eyes, finding Vincent of all people stood over you - a red Materia pop in his gloved hand, held out in a peace offering.

“I had to guess what flavour you would prefer – I hope I chose correctly.” 

You hesitate. “You got that for me?”

“Mm. I saw you at the cart earlier. It is my fault you are without gil, afterall.”

“Oh. No,” you shake your head in protest, but Vincent only extends the Materia pop in your direction once more.

“Consider it an apology for how I treated you when you tried to assist,” he pauses a moment, “if you would be willing to accept an apology from me, of course.”

You reach out and take grip the stick as he relinquishes his hold, not wanting to brush him off.

“Hardly necessary,” you shake your head, but take a lick of the pop, aware it’s beginning to drip in the midday sun. It’s refreshingly cold and sweet – made with real red fruits. “Thank you.”

Vincent nods, before he gestures at the seat besides you. “May I?”

“Please.”

He does so with a flourish of his cape, crossing his legs and then his arms, staring out into the horizon, as you eat your Materia pop in companiable silence.

It isn’t long before you hear Cid whistle – signaling he’s ready to depart when the rest of you are.

You swallow the last piece of your sweet treat before getting to your feet, Vincent immediately joining you – whether out of courtesy or urgency, you’re not sure.

“Thank you – again.”

There’s a hint of a smile on his face, though mostly obscured by his collar still. “I believe I chose correctly. Red is definitely your colour.”

“What makes you say that?” You raise an eyebrow, eyes flickering between him and the card tables as the two of you weave your way between them.

“It has stained your lips to a rather pleasing degree.”

You stop on the spot, face burning at his compliment, unsure what to say in response. However, the opportunity has passed with Vincent somehow already a dozen steps ahead of you.

You can only hope the heat in your cheeks has died down by the time you take your places back in the back of the boat.

--

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi

Comments, reblogs and likes make my whole day x

[salternateunreality2]

Rufus and the Turks need to leave and Nation can't go.

Who is the good boy left with and is he ok when Rufus returns?

Boring answer: Rufus has a dog-sitter who's been programmed into Dark Nation's psyche as "acceptable unless they make a move against Rufus". Dark Nation behaves stoically, dutifully eating all his meals and not acting up, but not really being lively either.

Crack answer #1: Daddy Shinra. Dark Nation's conditioning from the labs tells him not to chew this man's face off, but his loyalty and training from Rufus say "DO IT", and Rufus isn't here to clarify. So Shinra's face gets chewed off.

Crack answer #2: since the Turks are busy, ZACK! Zack is so fun! Dark Nation loves Zack! SO MUCH!!! They are bestest of buddies and Zack does a good job of taking pictures and videos of him and DN having the BEST TIME EVER.

They eat a TON of snacks in addition to DN's normal food, they go on long runs in the wastes, and they terrorize everyone in SOLDIER, especially Sephiroth. The two of them like to crowd and lean on Sephiroth and DN likes to lick him. Sephiroth pretends to be annoyed, but he finds kinship in the beast and warmth in both DN and Zack.

They play "fetch Kunsel's helmet from his head, then keep it away from him". They play "who can catch the most fries out of the air". They play "smother the chocobo and the cat with affection". They play "go really fast in every direction". They play "bite the scientist aka OOPS I THOUGHT HOJO WAS A GROSS DEAD THING MY BAD (teehee)". They play "beg Angeal for snax". They play "slam into Lazard and feel bad so we have to lick him better". They play "pretend to bite Genesis and then play dodge-fire-balls".

It is a GREAT time.

Then Rufus comes back, and as soon as DN hears his human approach, DN starts whining and limping and squirming and crying.

"DAD," he seems to say. "DAD, they didn't FEED ME! They TORTURED me! They didn't let me SEE YOU!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH AND LOOK HOW SKINNY AND SAD AND SCARED AND INJURED I AM PLEASE STILL LOVE ME!"

Rufus falls for it and cuddles his pup for days after, even though he knows full well from all the videos and pictures that DN had the time of his life.

[foreststarflaime]

The potential for a Nanaki time travel fic is so funny. Like just imagine, he escapes Hojo’s lab and steals a Shinra uniform to infiltrate the company. And thus Nanaki the friendly neighborhood two-legged definitely-a-human joins the infantry, quickly getting moved to SOLDIER as Genesis’ apprentice when he meets this weird flamboyant little guy who keeps accidentally setting things on fire when he walks past them, weird I wonder how that happens.

Meanwhile, the infamous Red XIII, a mysterious escaped experiment, keeps appearing out of nowhere to terrorize the Shinra board. No one knows how he keeps getting in to foil their plots! Hojo in particular has taken this new threat as his personal arch nemesis and keeps making increasingly complicated contraptions to defeat him, all of which are thwarted spectacularly.

Genesis is enjoying his new apprentice immensely. He doesn’t really take as much maintenance as Angeal warned him about from his experiences with Zack—he keeps disappearing to who knows where, keeping himself occupied during the day while Genesis grabs Sephiroth with yet another chaotic plan to cause untold property damage and stress Angeal out out of his mind as he tries and fails to get Lazard to witness their antics, and returns just in time for the cleanup for another one of those crazy terrorist attacks that have been happening lately. Such a helpful, easygoing apprentice! Nothing suspicious or mysterious about him at all! He may be a little weird, sure, but so is everyone else Genesis knows, and he likes it better that way.

Nanaki: walks into Hojo’s lab

Hojo: what’s this? SOLDIER Nanaki? Why have you disturbed me from my important work?

Nanaki: *rips off SOLDIER uniform*

Hojo: RED XIII THE FIRE LION??? You will fall before my new Jenovinator!!!

*He fires it and Nanaki dodges; the ray shoots through the floor and hits Sephiroth in the VR room below where he and Genesis were fighting in an innocuous mountain town setting. Sephiroth starts levitating and purposely setting the town on fire. Genesis is the proudest he’s ever been in his life, arson is his favorite pastime and he’s glad they’re finally bonding over something. Just before Angeal catches them they’re all called away to go deal with the latest Red XIII attack in the labs.*

Nanaki joining them, blood still dripping from his fangs and claws but now in the SOLDIER uniform again: oh hey guys, it’s me Nanaki! What’d I miss? Damn what happened to that guy

Hojo, lying in a pool of blood: curse you red xiii the fire lion

Sephiroth, ‘accidentally’ stabbing him: oops

Yes this is a Phineas and Ferb AU with Nanaki as Perry the Platypus don’t ask me how my brain came up with this bc idk lol

[getvalentined]

I really love all your Vincent analysis, I get very excited whenever you post them. I was wondering something, Grimoire has always seemed a very distant figure in canon, (yet he affects so much) and it is very likely that his and Vincent's relationship wasn't the best. But I am curious as to what you think his reaction to the experiments Hojo and Lucretia put him through would be if he was informed? Especially given that Grimoire knew Lu well. (I know this is completely non-canon)

Believe it or not, way back in 2011 I posted a hastily-drawn Ask Vincent Valentine entry that addresses exactly this! It's been a really long time, and my opinion there hasn't really changed, but I'm more than happy to expand on the concept in more detail now.

We don't actually have a lot of information on Grimoire as a character, and even less on his relationship with Vincent, so most of my opinion here is definitely headcanon, and I'll be tagging this post accordingly. That said, we do know a few things, and establishing the details of their relationship as I understand it is pretty integral to my opinion of how Grimoire would handle Vincent's inclusion in Lucrecia's terrifying thesis project.

First, Grimoire and Vincent seem to have had some kind of falling out in the past. Although it's impossible to say what caused it or how recent this was, it's fairly clear based on Grimoire's last words being a request for Lucrecia to apologize to Vincent on his behalf, and Vincent being unaware of the circumstances of his father's death until finding his file open on Lucrecia's computer. (I've seen it argued that Vincent may not even have been aware that his father was dead until that point—I don't generally subscribe to that idea, but this may actually be the case.)

Secondly, although this is more up for interpretation, Vincent's feeling toward his father appear to be somewhat...harsh? I reach this conclusion based on the word he uses to refer to him in the original Japanese, which is 親父 (oyaji). While this is a term for "father," it's also colloquially used as equivalent to "old man," and is kind of a catch-all term for middle-aged men in general. It's pretty rough in comparison to other terms that could have been used here, and also seems fairly out of place for how Vincent speaks otherwise, making it seem to me that he uses this harsher term in order to indicate either a lack of formality or a lack of respect for his father.

In headcanon territory, my take on their relationship has always been that Grimoire is extremely disappointed in Vincent for failing to pursue a career in academia, opting instead for the Turks—a role in which he excelled to such a degree that the Turk Vincent sim battle in Dirge PlayOnline indicates the assessment and training records he set were still standing when the Crisis took place. We know that Vincent is intelligent and highly educated (there is a complex series of interconnected equations scrawled on the wall of the Shinra Manor basement in Rebirth that was canonically written by Vincent, he's obviously very smart), so he could certainly have pursued the same career path as his father, and for whatever reason he chose not to.

One thing that isn't up in the air is whether or not Grimoire loved his son. Vincent was the last thing on his mind, as Chaos ate away at his body and ripped him apart into pyreflies, the last thing that mattered was that Vincent know he was sorry. Grimoire loved Vincent, even if they didn't always get along.

But Grimoire was, unfortunately, a Shinra scientist. According to Dirge PlayOnline, Grimoire was the first Shinra scientist to theorize about using foreign energies and excavated materials in the creation of an otherwise human child, with the goal of creating a hybrid able to communicate with humankind with ease. Grimoire loved his son, but he was comfortable with the idea of turning someone else's into a monster in utero if it meant that science could progress. This hypothesis is probably one of the leading reasons that Lucrecia volunteered for her role in Project S; she loved her mentor very much, and what better way to honor his memory than to prove at least one part of his theory right?

At the end of the day, it's the expansion of human knowledge that mattered to Grimoire. He would have been thrilled to know that he was right—proven with Sephiroth, with Vincent, and eventually with Nero. The three of them exist, even if only in part, because of Grimoire's thirst to understand the world beyond humanity, and all three of them changed the face of scientific progress. Sephiroth and Vincent's projects both helped to facilitate the creation of SOLDIER, while Nero literally proved the existence of a secondary plane of reality which had only ever been considered theoretical—if not simply written off as a myth—prior to his birth. That's amazing. That's wonderful.

The only problem Grimoire would have with any of it is that it was his child in the tank. Also unfortunate is that the other two were technically his grandchildren—Nero is pretty much undeniably made from genetic material harvested from Vincent, and my headcanon for why Vincent was assigned to Nibelheim at all is that Gast also wanted some way to honor the memory of the late Professor Grimoire Valentine, and selected Vincent to be the "sire" to the main subject of Project S. Vincent was never meant to know, and Lucrecia was never meant to care. It did not work out that way.

Grimoire would initially be horrified to realize what Lucrecia had done—and then fall right into complete understanding, because she did it to her own child too. She experimented on Vincent, yes, but it was in an attempt to save him! Who could blame her for using what she learned in her thesis? Two birds with one stone, salvation and enlightenment both from a single questionable act. He might disagree with her methods, with her disorganization and her lack of foresight, but he couldn't blame her.

He'd be devastated to know how his theories had ruined his child in every possible respect—but only because it was his child, not because of what was actually done. He'd grieve the loss of those grandchildren that neither he nor Vincent ever had a chance to know—but only because they were Vincent's children, torn away before he ever got to know they existed at all.

And, deep down, Grimoire would feel the slightest swell of pride that the only subjects that worked, the only ones that survived and excelled, the few that could literally call themselves gods even if only for a short period of time, were part of his bloodline.

It turns out that Valentines are amazing at anything they do, whether they choose to do anything or not. Vincent rejected science, and science took him anyway, because science is what Valentines do. It's what all of them do, and they do it better than anyone. How could he not be proud of that?

[sephirthoughts]

*Throws golden coin at you like you are a wishing well and I’m a poor country girl waiting for a miracle* Tell us more of your Valenwind thoughts/headcanons PLEASEEE I’m begging you!

OK but remember, you asked for it. *cracks knuckles*

Physical Stuff: -vincent is half chinese or whatever the FF equivalent is. nothing is ever mentioned about his mother so no one can prove he isn't. (just let me have this one SE) -vincent's cloak/cape and headband are not fabric, they are some kind of organic extension of himself, that he has control over. though sometimes the cloak just does things and vincent is unconscious of it, like a cat twitching its tail -because of his circulation issues, due to his heart being replaced with protomateria, vincent has severe orthostatic hypotension (stand-up dizzies). cid is used to just catching him as he pitches over and moving on, without remarking on it -vincent is a mass of scars and mutilations (replaced parts, missing organs, etc.) which is why he covers his body entirely from the neck down with all that leather armor and gloves. -cid is a huge fan of vincent's monster hand because it has claws and he loves back scratches

Sexy stuff below the cut. And more, I got a little carried away.

Sexy Stuff: -vincent is anxious bordering on panicked to show cid his body, at first, because he thinks it's hideous and repulsive, and honestly there's just a lot of shame associated with being the victim of torture and systematic medical abuse -what vincent does not know is how much cid loves scars. like he fucking LOVES them (to the point where it's almost a scar fetish) -the first time they sleep together, cid slowly undresses vincent, little by little, touches and kisses all his scars, sincerely and fervently adores all the parts of him he thinks are ugly and horrifying, and makes him feel beautiful for the first time in his life -when cid sees vincent completely naked, he tears up because he's so beautiful to him, and he can't believe he got this lucky

-HC adopted from @getvalentined: vincent's already impressive dick was lost or removed during hojo's butchering of his body, but much to hojo's chagrin, it grew back even bigger (my own addition is some slightly monstrous characteristics) -cid is well above average in the dick department (note to self, change ask box title to dick department) but he can't help comparing himself to vincent and feeling a little intimidated

-vincent is a temperate and reserved person, but because of something to do with his chaos-induced fuckery, ever so often he goes fucking FERAL (almost like he's in heat), and cid is the lucky beneficiary of this. he winds up with bite wounds and claw scratches all over his body, over which vincent agonizes, while cid calls them battle scars and proudly flaunts them

Because reasons: -sometimes vincent pulls his hair up into a ponytail, removes the cape and headband, and just wears ripped up black jeans and a faded old black tank top. no one has ever seen him like this, aside from cid, because he has never been able to keep this ensemble on his person long enough to leave the house in it

Family Stuff (I don't usually do kids in fic, but i think these two would be cute with one) -shera is the bro of all time and is their surrogate when they have a baby -projected rendering of what the baby will look like, created by the friend group:

-cid and vincent did that thing where they mixed the sperm donations because they didn't want to know who would 'really be the father' cloud: [looking at their black-haired, crimson-eyed baby] uh…

-their daughter is named olivia. vincent calls her olivia. that is her name. -cid settles firmly and immovably on ollie, which everyone else winds up calling her too

-causing several people to lose egregious sums of money in the group betting pool, ollie's first word is not 'fuck'. that is her second word. her first word is papa. well it was 'bapa' but cid insists that counts

-baby ollie doesn't like anyone besides her daddies but cloud, and sticks herself to him like a little leech whenever he's around cid: hey ollie, who am i [points to self] ollie: bapa cid: who's that [points to vincent] ollie: dada cid: who's that [points to cloud] ollie: mama cid: no--

-sephiroth is vincent's biological child and he has just learned from cloud that he has a little half sister sephiroth: [appears, looks down at the crimson-eyed toddler with deep disdain] i'm still the oldest, so don't get any ideas about taking my place. i'll always be the pinnacle of our genetic-- ollie: gege sephiroth: [kneeling in front of the play swing] here is your juice box, is there anything else you want, my princess? say the word and gege will get it for you. is there anywhere you want to go? anyone you want killed? no? well, you can hardly have enemies at your age, but when you acquire some, come to gege and he'll take care of them for you.

-late one night sephiroth: [appears standing over cid and vincent's bed] cid and vincent: GAAAH! sephiroth: my sister has been crying for twelve seconds, unanswered. DO YOU WANT HER TO HAVE NEGLECT TRAUMA? cid: [grumbling as he clambers out of bed] neglect trauma i'm aboutta have sephiroth jump scarin me in my goddamn house trauma vincent: ….sister?

-they put both surnames on her birth certificate, to give ollie a choice whose surname she wants to use -one day, when she's older, she comes home with her newly printed ID documents reading "Olivia Valenwind" -both dads come down with a sudden case of chopping onions

**i just realized some people might not know that "gege" (pronounced like guh-guh) is mandarin affectionate for "big brother"

@a-schrodingers-fox I hope that was worth your gold coin! NO REFUNDS!

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

I see you doing BEAUTIFUL soul soothing slice of life Zack stuff.

I ask for Zack first because..I'm weird but please do feel free to include the firsts and HOJO!, BECAUSE I've never seen anyone do hojo love, it's wild!

What,would zack do for his lover having a migraine? How would he comfort/cuddle/spoil...

Cook special food? Pet names? Home remedies?

THANK YOU! LMAO I’ve been told I’m the most down bad individual people have met due to my love of Hojo. 10/10 would tie that man to the cross and do my thing with him.

I love this ask cause I’m prone to migraines. I have also tortured myself trying to make them stop. I lock myself in the closet to get away from any sounds and light these days. Good god I’m probably too eager to write Hojo’s.

____________________________________________

Zack “put em in a pack” Fair

I’m certain you have to thoroughly explain what a migraine is to him. The first time you said you had a migraine he continued doing everything at his usual “Zack Volume” fuckin loud. Shiva bless his heart but he lacks brain cells. You told him to quiet down and now he won’t stop whispering everything, that man will whisper in uppercase from the other room.

Now that he understands, he must make a routine for you. Yes yes, that man headed straight to Moogle Search to look up home remedies. It would turn into Zack’s first crime against humanity. Making you a cup of turmeric and ginger based tea, accompanied by an aftertaste so foul you weren’t sure you wanted to even ask what he put in it. As hard as you try, your face says it all and now he’s got the sad puppy eyes, “but baby I really tried.” In that cute pouty voice of his, you know the one he’s still whispering. Please let him know you appreciate the effort but not the attempt at murder.

If there is any medicine that helps relive your pain he’ll have it on hand. He even keeps a supply at his own home, going as far as to carry it around when you’re together because Zack knows they randomly sprout up. He’s learned “the squint” as he calls it. Claiming whenever a migraine is creeping in you start squinting at everything. Awn, cute boy is catching on to the cues. After you tell him about visual impairment/eye pain that can accompany your migraines he’s back on the internet finding ways to relive that too. (Pls Zack it’s not gonna help just cuddle)

After months of trying numerous concoctions Zack would attempt to make you once again, Shiva bless his heart. Despite you telling him in advance, he finally concludes these do not help and he can't really do much about it, it made him feel a bit useless. “ ‘cause if I can’t help my baby, what am I doing?” Telling Zack that everything else he does is perfect when he’s trying to make you feel better. He provides you lots of cuddles, only leaving the bed when he’s certain you’re asleep, though it’s only for necessities. Zack very much prefers to keep you against him as long as humanly possible. You’re his "little kitty", you know the rules with that. If the cat lays on you, you do not move.

Makes sure to turn off any lights, closing all of the curtains/blinds to keep as much light out as possible. Cooking is questionable with him but he can make some of your favorite snacks as long as they’re simple. Anything that he can get you from the store? He’s going to make sure it’s in your possession, even if he has to go completely out of his way to get whatever you want. Nearly every time Zack goes out to get snacks/favorite foods, he brings back a plushie. You have such a large army of plushies that you have to beg him to stop bringing them. Gaia, he even brought you a chibi Zack for when he’s on missions. (You love it, how could you not)

Zack also recognizes sometimes migraines make you nauseous, even causing you to vomit at times. No matter, it doesn’t bother him at all. He’s going to make sure your hair is out of the way, clean you back up, carry you to bed and as you sleep, he’s looking at more home remedies. One thing I can imagine him able to cook is a few types of soups Angeal taught him, to at least get something light on your stomach.

Sephiroth- pillow fort part 2? (he wasn’t allowed much time to be a kid, so he enjoys doing childish activities with you)

This is the man for the job, can’t get your surroundings dark enough? Sephiroth shall begin the construction. He now realizes why you have a million pillows, even taking the pillows and cushions off of your couch to make it more comfortable. Layering blankets and sheets to ensure it’s completely dark in there. He’s ready for his cat house to cuddle you. Stays awake until you fall asleep, it's not really anything new, he's just significantly more adamant about it when you aren't feeling well. Seems a bit sad when you take his fort down due to his "hard work and dedication." It's okay, he knows it can't stay up forever, he'll be able to build another soon.

You’re already overly spoiled by Sephiroth, to which he’d say “there’s never a such thing as too much for you.” He's going to try and find you the best doctors around, not affiliated with Shinra of course. He doesn't want them coming anywhere near you. He knows medicine won't always help, but you know what does? His dick. His outstanding ability to take care of you. Forehead kisses for days. Will scoop you in his lap, holding you until you start dozing off. I don't think this one can cook either, but he'll attempt making your favorite comfort foods until he cooks it exactly to your liking. "nothing less than perfection for you".

He'll go out of his way to buy blackout curtains for his own home. Luckily Sephiroth is extremely quiet, half of the time you don't even know when he arrives. It's like he materializes out of thin air. Due to this you don't have to really ever worry about loud sounds. Finding his voice to be soothing you ask him to read to you until you fall asleep. He's a bit awkward about it at first, but he gets use to it and comes to love doing so.

Angeal (the healer)

Oh yea, you're getting super spoiled by this one. He's putting on his "best chef" apron and getting to work. Not before he tucks you into bed, kissing your forehead and tucking you in, he'll even fluff the pillows. If you like having background sound or really are in the mood to watch something, he has memorized shows/movies that have a minimal amount of ungodly bright scenes. Even turns the brightness down all the way, going as far to adjust the color and of course lowering the volume.

Always asks what kind of food you think your stomach can handle just in case it's one of those nausea inducing migraines. Can make anything you ask or he'll find recipes that are supposed to accommodate your migraines. He's not sure if the home remedies work, but at least you're always happy with each meal he makes you.

Once you're fed and comfortable, Angeal is on his way to wrap you up in his arms. Loves it when you climb on him and rest your head against his chest because you told him his "heartbeat makes me feel better." He's read in an article that pressure points can help alleviate migraines. He has no clue which pressure points to target so he's going to give you a full body massage in hopes that you feel better. hands of god you'll be feeling something alright

Also goes out of his way to buy blackout curtains or anything that may help him keep his home dark when the light is too much. Buys those little motion lights that are dim so when you walk into a room you'll be able to see without it feeling like a flashbang. Angeal doesn't make too much noise either so sound is also not a problem with him. Despite that he gives you a hushed apology any time he thinks he did something too loud.

Genesis (please don't recite Loveless, jk he'd annoy me but i'd love it)

Recites Loveless to you in a hushed tone as you fall asleep on his chest. Genesis is more than willing to read any piece of literature you want, only if you make a special request. He's always going to pull out Loveless by default.

Runs a bath for you, adding a eucalyptus based epsom salt and bubbles to help you relax in hopes to ease some of that tension.(something with a soft scent as strong smells can be too much). "Of course he's aware of your sensitivity to light, in turn lighting a couple of candles to add his romantic flare. He's taking these baths with you, without a doubt. Massaging your back and gently doing the same for your neck. He has an experts touch, that man will make you melt like butter. Loves soaking with you pressed against him, dries you off and tucks you into bed.

This one is also a cook, maybe not as good as Angeal, but definitely not as bad as Sephiroth. Knows your favorite comfort foods and will go out of his way to make it for you as you hide in bed.

Manages to find the best medicine. You're surprised it actually helps. After asking where Genesis got it from you find out he broke into Hojo's lab after a discussion between the two about what was the best treatment for a migraine. Says he stole them because he didn't want the medicine altered as most of his medicines are.

Hojo (my eyes are so far back in my head right now, im excited)

The first time you stumbled into his lab, all but screaming at him to cut of the lights he just stares at you like a madman. "Do you not seeing me working?" I mean, sure you did, once your eyes finally adjust you can see something or someone(????) cut open on a surgical table. Great, migraine increases tenfold.

When he finally finished whatever absurd thing he was doing to that poor carcass he comes to examine you. Maybe you should have gone home instead. Shining that goofy fuckin flashlight directly in your eyes. You tried slapping it out of his hands to which he rolls his eyes as you completely miss his hand stating that "it's a pupil test, I have to check for abnormalities." to which you can't help but tell Hojo that he is the only abnormality.

Injects you with god knows what, but hey, the migraine surprisingly vanished. The next time you come into his lab due to a migraine, he immediately takes into account that you were just here a few days ago over the same thing. Once again taking you back through those oh so annoying examinations before prescribing you some pills. When you question what the pills were he chuckles, telling you in a condescending tone that "you wouldn't remember how to say it even if you tried." With that he tells you to come back after all pills are gone so he can see how you're doing.

Your next visit with Hojo will teach you to never tell him something is wrong with you again. When you began taking the medicine the migraines were easing up, but now it's like they're worse. This time he gives you a different type of medicine, now you're just sleepy. All will be just fine, when you wake up you won't even know he's been poking around your brain.

****************************************************

I’m a bit sad I forgot to put in the random bouts of pure confusion migraines can put you through. I’ll never forget grabbing my airpods and I was pretty certain it was a bar of soap. It wasn’t. I don’t even know how I thought something that small was soap, or how I tried to wash my hands for so long with them

[strayheartless]

Saw something on Twitter that asked what the point of Genesis was; whether people liked his character or tolerated him. They suggested that he was badly used as an interesting character and I just want to throw my two Gil in here.

To me Genesis is perfectly used in Crisis core but you have to understand what his role is in mythology/alagorical sense to truely appreciate him. I am not trying to be pretentious when I say that I’m genuinely meaning it.

Genesis isn’t just the Loveless obsessed mini boss. There is actual depth to his character. However, his characterisation confuses a lot of people because it’s different from others.

Genesis at the core of his characterisation (and goddess knows it would inflate his ego if his character had been made that self aware.) acts as one of the fates. He is prophet, death bringer and actualiser. He recites the prophesy [Loveless] and brings about the events of FFvii.

Loveless cannot be read as anything other than a prophesy. It just can’t. You just need to listen to all of the lines that are vocalised to know that:

“When the war of the beast brings about worlds end, the goddess descends from the sky, wings of light and dark spread afar she guides us to bliss her gift everlasting.”

Arguably this stanza references the war in Wuti and the creation of Genesis, Angeal and Sephiroth. “Wings of dark and light” references quite literally their own singular mutations that spring forth as a black wing (Genesis) and a white wing (Angeal and Sephiroth). It then goes on to highlight their ascension into their life stream. This is simply the prologue.

The mistake everyone makes is assuming that the poem is simply talking about the three firsts. It’s not. It is dually talking about the trinity and Seph, cloud and Zack.

“Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess. We seek it thus and take to the sky. Ripples from on the waters surface the wandering soul knows no rest.”

This part of Act one refers to both Sephiroth and Cloud. Sephiroth is the one in CC who is wandering lost without a home nor a family. His friends have deserted him, and he is alone. By FFvii this is Cloud. He quite literally cannot catch a brake.

The “ripples from the waters surface” surface is the reflection of the two stories. It is the distortion of Sephiroths identity as the hero he has been trained to be into the monster he becomes. It is also the distortion of clouds own identity as his mind is broken and takes on someone else’s identity.

“Three friends go to battle, one is captured, one flies away, the one that is left becomes a hero”

Captured =Angeal and Zack

flies away = Genesis and Sephiroth

Becomes a hero = Sephiroth and Cloud

Angeal is captured more or less in modeoheim and dies. While Zack is quite literally is captured by Hojo with Cloud and dies as a result of that captivity. Arguably Zack was never free.

Genesis was the one who flew away from Sinra and from Nibleheim. He fled before he can behold the consequences of his actions. He his arguably the lynch pin for every major development in crisis core. Had he not challenged Sephiroth; had he not gotten hurt and been unable to heal then nothing that transpired would have happened. Had Genesis not revolted; had he not taunted Sephiroth the plot would never have come to the conclusion it did.

Sephiroth is also the one who flies away in therms of the main FFvii plot because he disappears after Nibleheim, he is the antagonist in a very similar way to Gen in CC. He appears every now and then to fuck up Clouds day and had he not been hurt by Cloud non of what happens in FFvii would transpire because it is that moment that puts Cloud at the forefront of Sephs mind. It is that moment that interests Hojo enough to experiment on Cloud and connect him to Sephiroth via the J-cells.

And then there is the hero left behind. Simply put, Genesis and Angeal leave Sephiroth to become the hero. They make villains of themselves and Leave Shinras golden boy behind to clean up their mess. And when sephiroth dies Shinra immortalises him by reporting that he died a hero. We know this because Aeirth literally states it in FFvii when cloud asked her if she knows who he is and she answers that he was a war hero that died five years previous.

Cloud by comparison is the one left by ALL of them to become a hero. Zack is dead, Sephiroth is now the villain, Genesis and Angeal own deaths impact so much of Clouds own story that they doubly place a burden of expectation upon him. Cloud literally carried all of their dreams and Honour around with him as he uses the Buster sword.

But I digress. Without analysing the entire play (at least the parts we have) you can see from what I have looked at above that Loveless isn’t just some poem; It’s a prophesy.

And Genesis being the one to speak this Prophesy is significant because he is quite literally the lynch pin for all of it. Like I said, had he not been hurt then events would have progressed differently.

I’m not saying he is the most important character of the story. He’s absolutely not; that is Cloud. But he’s not unimportant, nor is he just there. He is one of the most interesting plot devices FFvii has in my opinion.

Because he is quite literally the mouth piece of Minerva. He is a fate of the gods. He is past present and future, and he serves as the narrator at the beginning of the Shakespeare play to profess “two houses both alike in dignity.”

Genesis isn’t nothing. He is a walking Oman of death and destiny.

((Please remember this is my opinion and if you disagree I’d love to know but blessed don’t be rude. I like discussing but I really hate being yelled at.))