#Him And Ron and Dumbledore and James

[springs-hurts]

okay not much hate against Remus but how tf people read His part in the story and came to conclusion that Harry deserved him as Godfather and not Sirius and James made a mistake(not lily, see she knew it was mistake, nvm Lily loved Sirius as well)

Like did we not read how He never visited harry when he was a kid? How even after meeting him, seeing Harry by his own eyes, he still didn't interact with him during whole goblet of fire, even though Harry was Hogwarts champion, still at risk? No? Like wow man! This man only knew how to Run away from his problems, how to avoid them best.

And the number of fics I've read where he's "2nd godfather", " Better than Sirius ", " I'm sorry for doubting you Remus, begging you please forgive me, nvm you doubted me as well" Like gods!!

Harry's Godfather, Sirius Black did not live on rats only for you to say He didn't deserve to be his godfather.

He did not went to privet drive just after breaking from Azkaban for you to say "James and Lily were wrong to go for Sirius"

He doesnt deserve it, and I'm glad now I've seen that changing. While not enough but atleast not how it was before!

[sparsilees]

tom riddle is a yapper. he loves his monologues and dramatics.

draco malfoy is a yapper. he, too, loves the sound of his voice and dramatics.

ron weasley has no qualms about being loud and seen. he grew up in a large household, fighting to be heard over his siblings.

harry potter grew up in a cupboard, friendless except for the spiders, and learned to subdue and suppress and submit at the dursleys. he isn’t loud, he isn’t boisterous, he isn’t talkative, he doesn’t like socialising, he keeps his opinions in his head and his feelings buried inside, he has very few close friends, he doesn’t reveal his worries and struggles easily, he dislikes showing his pain and weakness, and he sure doesn’t give up his secrets and personal details freely, sometimes not even to ron and hermione.

this is what canon harry’s like—very quiet and an introvert, someone who speaks when spoken to or has cause to broadcast his voice, and someone who’d rather blend into the walls than draw unnecessary attention to himself.

[lovebeatriceplz]

Stay Alive 🐍 (pt. 1??)

Severus Snape x (death eater) Student! Reader (platonic)

Js a little Drabble

“ I think Malfoy may be working for the dark lord”. Harry allows his words to sink in, gauging your reaction closely, for a second he thinks you’re about to shut the idea down like everyone else. Your face betrays no emotion, but inside you were panicking. “How did you come to that conclusion Harry? Surely you couldn’t accuse him of such a thing because of his father-”. “No- no that’s not-” He removes his glasses, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. Suddenly the space feels too small. Oh how you wish you could just tell him, tell him that he was correct, tell that you were deatheater too. But how would he react? Would he turn you in? Push you away? Would he understand?. It was too risky, Harry, your dear friend, it pains you everyday to know that you indirectly contribute to his suffering. “Harry I have something to tell you” you blurt out.

He slowly looks up, you have his undivided attention. “I- i think you might…you might”. Someone clears their throat, the sound startling both of you, you whip your head around to lock eyes with the one and only Professor Snape. He saunters over with quick, deliberate strides. “Students should not be loitering in the halls” his eyes Harry up and down “Unless you desire Gryffindor to lose ten more points, Potter” he speaks his name as if it was poison.

“We were just leaving” Harry murmurs, taking your arm as he starts to walk off. Snape catches you by the collar of your robe “Not. you.”. Harry reluctantly let’s go. You turn around to face Snape fully. “Care to share what you and Potter were discussing?” He asks, brow quirking. A scoff escapes you “That was a private conversation-” He cuts you off abruptly, pinning you against the wall. “What. were you about to tell him?” His tone is harsher than before, sending a course of fear through you. You swallow loudly. “My secret.” you say quietly. His eyes narrow, as if you were only confirming his suspicions and this was not news to him. “Why on earth would you do that? Are you trying to sabotage this entire mission” He mutters through gritted teeth, his grip becoming tighter.

“He’d understand!” you shout - whisper. “He’d understand that it isn’t by choice!”. He rolls his eyes, pursing his lips. He’d rather do anything else than babysit another student, but he can’t. “Do you really have that much faith in that boy..” he mutters, sounding absolutely done with you. “Why can’t we just tell him? Everything I mean” you just start to speak without thinking, the weight of carrying around this burden finally causing you to falter. “They’ll figure it out, it’s inevitable, if everyone- just stopped lying to him-”. An exasperated sigh interrupts you “Oh for the love of Merlin” he pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’d be simpler, all, all of…this! I should just tell them-”. He pushes you against the wall with more force. “If you care about your companions you keep your mouth shut or they’re all good as dead!” he doesn’t expound, leaving it at that, letting you go. “Stupid child” he barks, smoothing out the crumpled fabric of your sleeve.

“Get out of my sight”. You’ve just pushed yourself off the wall when his voice stops you once more. “Time is drawing nearer, the dark lord’s return is dawning upon us all, and my objective will be carried out…soon”. You look around to make sure the very open hallway is empty, but if he’s speaking so freely he must deem it safe. He continues. “When that time comes, you will lay low until the horror show has passed”. The initial confusion in your expression, contorts into anger and betrayal.

“No I have to fight…i…no, no I need to fight I need to do something” you protest. “Good. day.” You watch your whole world spin as he starts to depart. Quickly, you grab his hand to stop him and he physically tenses up. “I cannot just watch from the sidelines,not after everything that git has put me through, not after what he did to my brother.”. He scoffs once more, but there’s hardly any bite behind it. He jerks his hand free from your hold. “And what do you propose I do?” he’s not even looking at you, it made you feel small. “Send me, send me with Draco when he..” you find yourself not being able to finish that sentence.

His previous petulance returns, and he approaches aggressively, you almost think he’s about to pounce on you. “No such thing will take place, do you comprehend?” It’s obvious that it takes all his willpower to not grab you by the shoulders and shake some sense into you. “Listen to me and listen closely, you are not Draco, you don’t have anyone, no one to look out for you. He has his parents, you only have me!” He speaks swiftly and sharply. You have nothing to say, but it doesn’t matter because he wasn’t finished. “So much work, i’ve done, to make sure that no one suspects a thing, you are practically invisible to the dark lord and that’s the best you could hope for, stay. Alive.”

“Professor Snape, I cannot, have an opportunity to avenge my brother and not cease it, he would have never let that happen if I was the one to die that night” you confess quietly, hoping that your words had some effect on him. His expression remains annoyed and cold, as always. He sighs, placing his hands on his hips. “So this is for your brother?” He asks, you nod. He massages his temples, eyes scrunching as if he were in pain “I might vomit”. He paces for a few seconds, you wonder if he remembers you’re there. Large hands tightly, almost painfully grip your shoulders. “Listen, you insufferable dingbat, your mother can’t take another heartbreak, losing two children? In such a timely manner?”. You couldn’t tell if he was sincerely concerned or trying to talk you out of your ideas.

You stand your ground. “I’ve made up my mind, I’m not asking you to throw me into a boxing ring, but I must help in any way I can”. He nods, letting go of you, he slams his palm into the wall, the sound echoing. It’s almost comedic how quickly he goes back to his indifferent demeanor. “You aren’t. Ready” he says bluntly. “Meet me in the dungeons, I’ll have a few things to teach you, do not come before midnight” He turns to walk off, for the last time he hopes. You nod slowly, pausing as a thought occurs to you. “Wait- what about my prefects-”. He doesn’t turn around “figure it out” now he’s gone, leaving in the same abrupt manner he arrived. Such an odd man, you think. An odd man, that might determine if you make it out of Voldermort’s hold alive or not. Leave overthinking for another time, you have an escape route to figure out.

[hotchoccieformoony]

it was actually so so mean of everyone to always be telling Harry that he didn’t have to do it on his own and that he should just ask for help and rolling their eyes and calling him a martyr. Like BOY LOST HIS WHOLE FAMILY. then he gets a godfather. LOSES HIM TOO. He is literally abandoned every year for seven years over the summer to an abusive house.

Like no shit he thinks he has to do it on his own!! Most of the time he does!!! adults have a spec of compassion for a child in extreme pain challenge!!

not to mention… in some ways the narrative proves Harry RIGHT. the prophecy singles him out. ultimately he does have to go and face Voldemort alone. He was right to have a martyr complex bc he LITERALLY HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO END UP A MARTYR

give the boy a break is all I’m saying

[hollowdeath]

injured (hjp)

pairing: harry james potter x fem!reader

summary: as hermione's new friend, you and harry are constantly bugging each other any time you're together. however, one day, during training for dumbledore's army, you get injured, causing harry to lash out before promptly carrying you to the infirmary.

word count: 2k

cw: mentions of blood, mostly just fluff, maybe slight angst if you squint hard enough

a/n: yet another lil sfw blurb i wrote between requests <3 hope yall don't mind, might do a part 2 if anyone wants it!

"does she always have to be invited to everything?" harry groans, nodding towards you as you continue trying to steal his scarf. you're both following behind ron and hermione through the snow on the way to hagrid's hut for tea. hermione laughs in response along with you. "yes, she does. it's nice having another girl around." she tells harry, giving you a shy smile. you return the same smile, reaching over to successfully steal harry's scarf from him. "yep, you're stuck with me, potter," you tease him, wrapping the scarf around yourself.

harry rolls his eyes, stealing the scarf back from you. "well, can't you ever bother hermione? your actual friend? or ron? why is it always me?" harry complained as he dodged another attempt at you taking his scarf. "they're not as fun to mess with," you whine, crossing your arms. hermione giggles, giving ron a knowing side-eye that he returns.

you narrow your eyes at their exchange. "what?" you ask them. hermione looks over her shoulder at you with the same smug expression before turning away and giggling again. "hermione," you warn her, uncrossing your arms. she just keeps laughing, only making you more suspicious. "nothing, [y/n]," she tells you sarcastically, shaking her head.

"yeah, mind your business, [y/n]," harry interjects. he flinches when you turn to look at him, making you laugh. "yeah, that's what i thought, potter," you say triumphantly, reaching for his scarf once more.

"seriously?" you ask harry as he takes yet another piece of food off your plate. he's holding back a laugh as he quickly eats it, giving you a devious look. "i asked if you were hungry and you said no! now keep your grubby fingers off my plate," you playfully scold him, pulling your plate closer to you. ron and hermione laugh, giving each other that same knowing look.

"oh i'm not hungry, i just know you hate people taking your food." harry says with a smirk, reaching his hand out again before you smack it away. "ow!" harry exclaims, holding his aching knuckles. "really? you steal my food all the time!"

you're the one smirking this time as you say, "yeah, but it's funny when i do it." taking another bite of your food, harry narrows his eyes at you. he waits for his chance and quickly sneaks another piece of food, successfully stealing it away as you try to stop him. "ha!" he laughs with his mouth full, pointing at you. you give him a look, which makes hermione laugh harder.

"you two are ridiculous," she sighs, taking a bite of her own food. "oh, come on, he started it!" you say with a hand pointed at harry. he pretends to bite your finger and you narrow your eyes at him, reaching to grab the glasses off his face. "no, no, no," harry warns you, frantically grabbing for the glasses to take them from your hands as you lean away from him. "ha!" you repeat after him, pointing at him as you continue pulling away from his grasp. harry leans across the table and nearly falls before he successfully snatches the glasses from your fingers. "ha!" he says again with a cocky smile, sitting down and placing them back on his face.

ron rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his drink. "i agree with hermione. ridiculous." he says with that same knowing smile. harry scoffs, giving ron a look. "whatever," he shrugs him off. "she started it," harry repeats after you, nodding in your direction as he tries to hide his smirk. you roll your eyes at him, but you're hiding the same devious smile.

"late again, ms. [y/l/n]?" harry asks you in a teasing voice as you walk down the hall towards the room of requirement. you rolled your eyes at him. "shut it, potter. just be glad i came." you snap back, giving him a smirk as you pass through the doorway.

harry followed you in, making sure no one was watching behind him. he began the meeting thanking everyone for coming back for yet another round of training for dumbledore's army, and wanted to go over defense tactics again. as he started reviewing all the different spells and wand movements from the week prior, he asked everyone to partner up and work on practicing them again.

the session was going really well, and harry was helping people individually to get the motions perfect. he was just working with a first year student when he heard a yell from behind him, followed by a crash and a crowd of gasps. harry spun on his heel to see hermione running from across the room, dropping her wand in the process. this immediately worried harry more.

he made his way to the gathering crowd in the corner when he heard hermione say your name in exasperation. harry's pace picked up and he pushed himself through the crowd of students urgently.

he found hermione kneeling at your side, blocking his view of you. only your converse-covered feet littered with rubble and dust were visible from his angle. harry quickly rushed to your other side, his stomach dropping at the sight of your unconscious body, freezing completely when he notices blood coming from under your shirt. hermione was checking your breathing and heartbeat and trying to wake you up. harry's shock flipped into anger within a second, turning to the crowd that had gathered around you.

"who did it?" he asked, his tone rough and impatient. everyone stayed quiet hearing how upset harry was. they had never seen him be anything other than shy, kind, and timid.

"well? who was her partner? huh? who the fuck hit her?" harry yells the last part, causing a few students flinch.

"harry. it was an accident." hermione snaps towards him, causing him to look back at her. he's breathing heavily, staring into hermione's narrowed eyes as she holds your hand in hers.

harry's anger subsided, if only for a moment, seeing your shirt start to stain with blood. his anger was replaced with concern, dropping to one knee and picking you up in his arms. "harry," hermione tries to stop him, but harry interrupts her. "i'm taking her to the infirmary now. i'll make up something on the way. send everyone home." he tells hermione in a rushed voice as he carefully adjusts you in his arms, your neck limp as your head falls into harry's chest.

he rushes out of the room, ron holding the doors open for him, giving him a tight smile with worried eyes. "she'll be alright, mate," ron tries to reassure him, but harry's already practically jogging to the hospital wing.

a few hours later the sun has long since set, and you open your eyes to a dark room lined with windows showing the stars outside. you try to sit up in the bed you're lying in and you're immediately hit with an intense wave of pain, making you groan and wince. you notice movement to your right and turn to see harry's sleeping body on a chair pulled up beside your cot. you hadn't even seen him at first, so you were a bit surprised, letting out a gasp at his sudden presence.

this wakes him up, his eyes snapping open towards you and standing from his uncomfortable sleeping position to come to your side. "[y/n]," he says softly, his voice still groggy, hands resting on your shoulders to lay you back down again. you groan again as you lie back, your face twisted in pain. harry winces just the same, moving the pillow under you to better support your neck.

"i know, it's okay, you're okay," he coos. you look at him weirdly, never experiencing this caring side of him so intimately. "what happened?" you ask, glancing at the IV machine attached to your arm. "am i in the infirmary?"

harry sighs, his eyes searching you carefully for any discomfort. "yes, you are. your bloody first year partner hit you with his stupefy and nearly killed you." harry informed you, his voice gradually getting angrier before stopping himself to take a deep breath. "sorry. i didn't mean that. all you got was a concussion, and a nasty scar on your stomach. but, he could've hurt you worse," harry tells you, the anger returning any time he mentions your partner. "i swear to you, [y/n], he's never coming to another practice again. and i don't care if he tells the whole school, that kid is finished."

you can't help but chuckle at how riled up harry is, earning a confused look from him. you shake your head weakly. "it was probably just an accident, potter. no need to pitch a fit." you tell him with that same smirk as always. harry's body relaxes, breathing a sigh of relief at your nonchalant reaction and usual sarcasm making its return. though he wants to roll his eyes at how unaffected you are learning about your injuries, he's too concerned to even pretend to joke.

"wait, how did i get here? i don't even remember walking in," you say in confusion, trying to recall the afternoon. harry awkwardly shifts his weight beside you. "yeah, um, well, i had to carry you." he tells you. you shoot him a look full of confusion, shock, and humor. "you? you carried me across the school?" you ask with an incredulous chuckle. "you were unconscious! and bleeding! i had to get you here quickly." harry defends himself, throwing his arms up.

you laugh and shake your head again, rubbing your face. "since when have you started caring about my well being, potter? i thought i was just a pest to you," you inquire, cocking an eyebrow at harry. he nervously blinks and looks away from you, clearing his throat. "you were under my supervision, didn't want you to sue me or anything." harry says with a smirk, still awkwardly shifting his weight back and forth with his hands in his pockets.

"right," you scoff at him jokingly.

harry sighs, pulling his seat closer to your bed so he can sit down again. "look," he says, his eyes still not quite meeting yours. "i know we joke around a lot, and, y'know, you may even actually annoy me a bit sometimes…" he trails off, chuckling to himself. you lightly slap his leg closest to you, holding back your own laugh.

"but, seeing you like that on the ground, seeing the blood, i was terrified. i didn't know if you were okay and that killed me. i don't know what i would've done if…" he trails off again, his voice caught in his throat.

you give harry a sympathetic smile, studying his tired face. he was looking towards the ground, his hair disheveled, glasses hanging low on the bridge of his nose. he looked upset as his eyebrows furrowed together in thought.

"did you stay here all day?" you asked him softly. harry looks up at you with surprise, his eyes studying yours. "yeah," he says simply. you look to your left towards a grandfather clock and see it's nearly 3 in the morning.

you give him another curious look. "harry," you start to say, but you're at a loss for words. he chuckles again, his eyes still studying yours intently. "i wasn't leaving. the nurses nearly fought me multiple times." he tells you bluntly. you laugh, wincing at the pain it causes you, but can't hold back. "harry, you didn't have to do that."

harry gives you a half hearted smile. "i know," he shrugs.

you return the smile. "well, thank you, then. for waiting and for bringing me here." you thank harry genuinely, causing him to blush and wave you off. you reach out to poke his sides in attempt to tickle him. "and i guess you really do care, hm?" you tease him.

harry squirms away and laughs, his blush intensifying. "yeah, yeah, whatever."

[realitybitesyouknowit]

Chapters: 17/17 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Incarnations of Immortality - Piers Anthony Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini, Orb/Parry (Incarnations of Immortality) Characters: Harry Potter, James Potter, Albus Dumbledore, Blaise Zabini, Time (Incarnations of Immortality), Fate (Incarnations of Immortality), War (Incarnations of Immortality), Good (Incarnations of Immortality), Parry (Incarnations of Immortality), Orb (Incarnations of Immortality), Poppy Pomfrey Additional Tags: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Bottom Harry Potter, Top Blaise Zabini, Harry Potter is Death, Orb is Mother Magic/Nature, Harry Leaves Hogwarts, Ron Weasley Bashing, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Aged Up Harry Potter and Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger Bashing, Protective Poppy Pomfrey, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting Summary:

With Albus and Voldemort having plans for Harry to take part in the Triwizard Tournament an ancient ritual takes effect altering the Cosmic Balance of the Universe as Harry joins the ranks of the Immortals as Death.

[hannaxjo]

Alan Rickman, David Thewlis, Gary Oldman and all those are iconic in their roles in Harry Potter, but I’ll always be a bit sad about that casting, because having that ‘Marauders era’ cast be age appropriate would’ve just been so much better for the story.

Sirius wasn’t this old man who spent 12 years in Azkaban, no he got locked up at 21. He spent almost third of his life in a cell. He wasn’t this wise father figure to Harry, he was a reckless thirty-something who never really got the chance to mature past 21.

Remus was an exhausted, bone deep tired man carrying both physical and mental scars from the suffering he went through. Because he’s a werewolf, because of the war, because he lost all of his friends. And he’s only 33 when first introduced.

And Snape. Snape wasn’t an old bitter man who just hated everyone and enjoyed being antagonistic. He was 31 in Harry’s first year. He began to work for Voldemort as a teen, and as a double agent at 20. He’s a thirty-something bitter man, who never got to really live or make real connections. From Harry’s perspective he’s scary and intimidating, but really he’s just kinda…sad and pathetic. And then especially that scene where Snape is begging Dumbledore to help save Lily, and promising anything in return. (Because apparently Dumbledore needs something in return…for saving people.) He’s twenty. Barely out of his teens. Rickman was good in that scene, but having someone who actually looks twenty, would better show how scared, young, guilty and just desperate he was. That might not put Dumbledore in such a good light, though.

And then, the characters I think would’ve been the most important to cast age appropriately. And most people probably already agree and know who I’m talking about. James and Lily. They were 21 when they died. When Harry sees them in the mirror of Erised, they’re 10 years older than him. That’s the age difference Ron has with Bill. In that scene I might understand somewhat them being in their thirties, because that’s what Harry wants. He wants his life with his parents, he wants to have been raised by them. Though, I don’t know if the mirror could know what they might’ve looked like in their thirties, since they didn’t live that long. But then, in the cemetery when Voldemort’s wand spits the last spells cast, we see Lily and James as they were. 21. They’re telling their son to hold on just a moment longer. And they are 7 years older than him. In Deathly Hallows, Harry sees Voldemort kill them. They’re not this happy couple who’s got to love each other for a long time, only to have that happiness torn from them, no they started at Hogwarts ten years ago. They’re 21, and they’ve barely tasted that happiness. At the end of the book Harry talks to his parents. They comfort him and promise to stay with him, as he goes to die. Harry’s seventeen. James and Lily are four years older than him.

It wouldn’t have felt as nice. Harry being comforted by someone who looks almost his age. But it wasn’t nice. It was pretty tragic. Casting people who look 21, would’ve really made it land on the audience. It was a tragedy. They were barely adults.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello!! So, I saw an argument about Harry's uhm looks? I guess. A lot of people basically headcanon him as someone buff. I digress, I'm part of the uhm more realistic? group. Harry's been starved and abused his entire life. I doubt he'll gain the weight and the height everyone else wants him to have. Years later. maybe. But in 6th year? While on the run? 3 years after the war? Doubt. do you think he would be able to get super tall and buff? Also, do you think its possible he used the same methods the dursleys used to punish himself?

I mean, anyone can headcanon whatever they want, but, I'll try to explain via quotes, what Harry's height and muscle situation is likely to be. I believe the reasons some headcanon him as buff and tall are:

Harry had pinned Mundungus against the wall of the pub by the throat. Holding him fast with one hand, he pulled out his wand.

(HBP)

He lifts Mundungus by his throat with one hand easily, and he practices Quidditch like 3 times a week at least. This implies that Harry has some muscle on him.

And he's mentioned to be James' height when he's 17:

James was exactly the same height as Harry.

(DH)

Which was supposedly tall, according to both, Harry:

tall and untidy-haired like Harry, the smoky, shadowy form of James Potter

(GoF)

And Voldemort:

the tall black-haired man in his glasses

(DH)

Now, let's put Harry's height in the context of other character heights. Particularly of interest are characters taller than him, to get an image of how tall is "tall." And some shorter characters to help figure out his exact height.

Sirius, Ron, Voldemort, and Dumbledore are all taller than Harry and exceptionally tall in general. They are each likely to be over 6 feet tall, making Harry likely less than 6' (183 cm). Supporting this is this quote:

Once the painful transformation was complete he was more than six feet tall, and from what he could tell from his well-muscled arms, powerfully built.

(DH)

This means Harry is less than 6' and isn't super buff. But, I want to get to his specific height, because I have a lot to say about character heights.

Like, Dumbledore is probably the tallest character who isn't a half-giant because he's towering over everyone except Hagrid and Maxime. In book 6, he's literally taller than all the inferi in the cave:

Dumbledore was on his feet again, pale as any of the surrounding Inferi, but taller than any too,

(HBP)

And Abeforth (who's as tall as Dumbledore) is taller than Ron, who's one of the other tallest characters in the books:

Ron looked slightly sick. Aberforth stood up, tall as Albus, and suddenly terrible in his anger and the intensity of his pain.

(DH)

Making the Dumbledores really tall. My estimate is around a whooping 6'5 (195 cm).

Sirius is mentioned to be taller than Snape, and the tallest Marauder:

said Sirius, standing up. He was rather taller than Snape

(OotP)

To Sirius’s right stood Pettigrew, more than a head shorter

(DH)

A head, in height, should be around one foot (30.48 cm). As the average height of a man in England in 1998 was around 5'8 (174.4 cm), this would make Sirius around 6'2 (188 cm), therefore taller than average, and Pettigrew around 5'2 (157 cm), shorter than the average, but still both at a reasonable height.

Ron is almost as tall as the twins at 11:

“Shut up,�� said Ron again. He was almost as tall as the twins already and his nose was still pink where his mother had rubbed it.

(PS)

And, just, really tall in general:

He stepped forward. Not as tall as Ron, he had to crane his neck to read the yellowish label affixed to the shelf right beneath the dusty glass ball.

(OotP)

So I estimate Ron at around 6'3 (190 cm).

Voldemort who grew up on war rations is still described very consistently as tall, regardless of childhood malnourishment:

He was his handsome father in miniature, tall for eleven years old, dark-haired, and pale

(HBP)

tall, pale, dark-haired, and handsome — the teenage Voldemort.

(HBP)

Taller than Bellatrix (who's taller than Harry). Voldemort is also considerably taller than Pettigrew, as he has to bend to reach Pettigrew's arm when both are standing:

Voldemort bent down and pulled out Wormtail’s left arm; he forced the sleeve of Wormtail’s robes up past his elbow

(GoF)

I usually place Voldemort at around the same height as Ron, so 6'3 (190 cm).

Fred and George, though, are mentioned to be shorter and stockier, more similar to Molly's build:

Charlie was built like the twins, shorter and stockier than Percy and Ron, who were both long and lanky.

(GoF)

but are mentioned to shrink to become Harry in book 7:

Hermione and Mundungus were shooting upward; Ron, Fred, and George were shrinking

(DH)

I actually place the twins around 6' (183 cm) so they could be taller than Harry, but shorter than Ron. The twins are likely taller than Charlie.

Bellatrix, as a woman, should also be shorter on average, but considering how tall Sirius is mentioned to be, it appears the Blacks are just considerably taller than the average, even the women:

a tall dark woman with heavy-lidded eyes, who had stood at her trial and proclaimed her continuing allegiance to Lord Voldemort

(OotP)

She was taller than he was, her long black hair rippling down her back, her heavily lidded eyes disdainful as they rested upon him;

(DH)

So I place her at around 6' (183 cm) as well, as an exceptionally tall lady.

So where does this place Harry?

During the first 4 books, Harry is short and small for his age. When he's 13, he and Hermione are bit shorter than Pettigrew:

He was a very short man, hardly taller than Harry and Hermione.

(PoA)

(Ron, noticeably, is taller than Pettigrew at 13)

So, so Harry at 13 was around 5'1 (155 cm). And so was Hermione.

Then in between books 4 and 5 puberty kicks in and probably causes a slight growth spurt that makes him more attractive to girls around him:

Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown, the last two of whom gave Harry airy, overly friendly greetings that made him quite sure they had stopped talking about him a split second before. He had more important things to worry about, however:

(OotP)

And then he has another, larger growth spurt between books 5 and 6:

“You’re like Ron,” she [Molly] sighed, looking him up and down. “Both of you look as though you’ve had Stretching Jinxes put on you. I swear Ron’s grown four inches since I last bought him school robes.

(HBP)

“And it doesn’t hurt that you’ve grown about a foot over the summer either,” Hermione finished, ignoring Ron. “I’m tall,” said Ron inconsequentially. [Ron is objectively correct]

(HBP)

Post book 6 growth spurt, we know Harry is below 6' (183 cm) but close enough to 6' to be above the average of 5'8 (174.4 cm) and be considered "tall", and grow "about a foot" after said growth spurt.

I personally place his height at 5'11 (180 cm), to make all of the above make sense.

And while he is physically fit, he is likely very thin from years of malnourishment. So, he likely has some muscle on him, but he's very lean with little to no fat during his Hogwarts years (he'd likely gain more weight as an adult living peacefully with regular meals). So, Harry in the books isn't what I'd call buff, but he has some muscle and can definitely throw a punch. As he grows older post-canon, I think he could get buff if he set his mind to it.

(I actually have notes about the height of a bunch of other characters. Hermione is shorter than Harry and Ron, but noticeably taller than Ginny (5'1 or 155 cm - edited Ginny's height since I think she's shorter than the former estimate of 5'2. Bellatrix says “Very well — take the smallest one,” with Hermione and Luna (who's also short) present, so Ginny is really short) and probably around 5'4 (162 cm) by book 7. Draco is said to be slightly taller than Harry "Harry did not dare look directly at Draco, but saw him obliquely; a figure slightly taller than he was" - DH, placing Draco at around 6' (183 cm))

For your other question, no, I don't think Harry self-harms, definitely not in any way related to the Dursleys, but that's a different post because I went off about heights.

[cabin07slytherinblogs]

I’ve been doing a lot of research on the wizarding world and here are some canon things I have found out that I didn’t know

Molly and Arthur did not go to school with the marauders. They started in 1961.

Gideon and Fabian were between the ages of 31-41 when they died, I thought they were young like James and Lily. Molly is 2 years younger then them.

Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda all went to school with Molly and Arthur but they were sorted into Slytherin while Molly and Arthur were sorted into Gryffindor.

Bill was born in 1970, Charlie in 1972, Percy in 1976, Fred and George in 1978, Ron in 1980, and Ginny in 1981.

Molly and Arthur didn’t know that they were having a daughter until Ginny was born.

Hermione Granger is the oldest out of the three friends.

Rowling confirmed Dumbledore’s sexuality

Grindelwald and Voldemort weren’t fighting for the same things

Tom Riddle was conceived under a love potion. Some even say that’s why he can’t feel love.

Hermione became minister of magic

James and Lily had Harry at 19/20 years old

Molly and Arthur married right away after Hogwarts not wanting to waste time. They’ve been together for over 50 years (honestly goals) They also had 12 grandchildren. 5 grandsons and 7 granddaughters.

Hermione’s name means messenger.

The original timeline for the original 7 books/8 movies is 1991-1998

Remus Lupin was bitten by Greyback at age 4 (which I knew) but he was bitten because his father, Lyall, said some pretty nasty/hateful comments about werewolves in front of Greyback so he snuck into Remus’s room and attacked him as revenge

[wisteria-lodge]

Guys who Cry in the Harry Potter Books (and Why)

Men do 30% of the crying in the Harry Potter books, even though they represent 66% of the characters (and that's pretty much as expected).* I’m interested in why the crying happens though, and what it says about the characters. For the ladies, crying is neutral - they all cry, and for all sorts of reasons (tired, frustrated, stressed, emotionally overwrought...) Bellatrix, Augusta Longbottom, Ginny, Tonks… all cry. *Hermione* cries thirty separate times over the course of the books. 

Male crying though, that's something that gets mocked (usually by Slytherins.) Pansy calls Neville a “fat little cry baby,” and after Rita’s article (falsely) describes Harry crying, Draco comes in with “Want a hanky, Potter, in case you start crying in Transfiguration?” Of course there’s also “D’you think [Hagrid]’ll cry when they cut off his hippogriff’s - ” right before Hermione slaps him. So making fun of guys for crying is bad right? 

Let’s get into it. 

1 : Crying because of a death

The most “acceptable” reason for male crying. This happens a lot, we are definitely not supposed to think any less of the guys who do it. Mostly it happens *right* at the moment of death, or maybe at the funeral. The exception is Harry, who cries in Book 3 after talking about hearing his parents dying (although the narrative voice DOES let us know that he’s kind of embarrassed about this...)

“Harry suddenly realized that there were tears on his face mingling with the sweat. He bent his face as low as possible, wiping them off on his robes, pretending to do up his shoelace, so that Lupin wouldn’t see.” 

Then he cries again in Book 7, while visiting his parents' graves. But it’s definitely still crying over a death. Just one that Harry takes a little bit longer to process. 

Crying over a Death: Full Breakdown: 

Amos Diggory: 1 (Cedric’s death) 

Arthur Weasley: 1 (Fred’s death)

Harry Potter: 3 (Hedwig, Lily, James)

Rubeus Hagrid: 4 (Dumbledore, Buckbeak, Aragog, Harry) 

Argus Filtch: 1 (thinks Mrs. Norris is dead) 

Xenophillius Lovegood: 1 (thinks Luna is dead) 

Fillius Flitwick: (thinks Ginny is dead) 

Ron Weasley: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral) 

Elphias Doge: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral

2: Crying because of Pain

You’d think this one would also be acceptable. But… it really isn’t? Dudley cries when Vernon hits him (but Harry doesn’t.) Peter Pettigrew cries when he cuts off his own hand, Saw style, but it gets framed as blubbering weakness. Pettigrew is framed SO pathetically for the entire resurrection scene - and honestly, for the entire rest of the series.

(Which is strange when you think about it. Like objectively, Pettigrew did GOOD. Sure he only likes Voldemort because he’s powerful, but so do most of the Death Eaters, that’s nothing special. Peter found Voldemort, resurrected him single-handedly (ha.) Found Bertha Jorkins,  i.e. the reason Voldemort was able to plan his comeback. Obviously he has god-tier bluffing and lying abilities, as well as enough willpower to cut off a limb. Being able to turn into a rat would make him a really useful spy. Also his spell, the one that killed thirteen muggles and destroyed a street? Most magic we see does not have a blast radius like that. Peter’s formidable. But somehow his job is to hang out and be Snape’s servant? (Is it because he’s not cute?  Is this JKR’s fatphobia rearing its ugly head? Unclear.)

Our last guy crying in pain is Book 1 Neville, after he breaks his wrist during flying lessons. He also “sniffs,” while walking into the Forbidden Forest for detention, which *might* count as crying? But really, Neville cries surprisingly little. We get a lot of “looked as though he might cry” and “on the verge of tears”... but that's not actually crying. And I think that’s because… early-books Neville, yes we’re supposed to see him as a little pathetic. But definitely not as pathetic as Dudley or Pettigrew. 

3: “Childlike” Crying

Sometimes the people who cry are literally little boys. This is also okay. No one is going to judge infant Harry for crying when Voldemort is in the house, or little Severus for crying when his parents are fighting. Interestingly, when Myrtle is talking about Draco crying in her bathroom, Harry assumes she’s talking about someone much younger: 

“There’s been a boy in here crying?” said Harry curiously. “A young boy?” 

But of course, when an adult is crying in a childlike way, it immediately becomes… pathetic. Again we have Pettigrew, who “burst into tears. It was horrible to watch: He looked like an oversized, balding baby, cowering on the floor.” In the Horcrux cave, crying Dumbledore is described “like a child dying of thirst.” Which is also meant to be pathetic, but in more of a ‘Harry has to be the adult now’ sort of way. Also, the potion seems to have made Dumbledore mentally regress back to his youth, so it’s *closer* to a literal “child crying” moment. 

(I considered putting Dumbledore drinking the potion in the ‘pain’ section, but at least in the book I think it’s clear he’s mostly in emotional rather than physical pain.)

Where this gets messy is with the house-elves. House-elves are not children, but they are presented as childlike. They are small and in-your-face, direct even though their problem-solving tends to be very convoluted/not especially logical. I like the present-tense, no pronouns way they speak, but I can’t deny it is kind of baby-talk adjacent. And… house elves are *really* emotional. Dobby, Kreacher (and Winky) cry a LOT. If I had to guess, I would say JKR likes treating house-elves as childlike so it’s more of a surprise when it turns out that one of them was behind everything. But considering that they are slaves, it is gross - considering that one of the main real-world justifications for slavery was ‘slaves are childlike, and unable to take care of themselves.'

There’s also Hagrid. With seventeen separate instances of crying, Hagrid easily cries more than any other guy in the Harry Potter books. And… well… he’s also presented as oddly childlike. He seems much more like Harry and Ron’s contemporary than a peer of the other professors - which is weird, since  if he went to school with Voldemort fifty years ago, he’s in his sixties now. But still, he’s helpless in the face of criticism, he’s comically out of his depth whenever he deals with the Ministry, he’s constantly letting things slip or drastically misjudging danger levels. The first three books all use “Hagrid gets in trouble, the gang has to bail him out” as a plot point, and in Book 4 his sideplot with Madame Maxime gets treated like a schoolboy’s first crush, with all these jokes about him wearing suits that don’t quite fit, and trying and failing to style his hair. Not to mention, we know she’s flattering him because she wants insider info on the Tournament. But he doesn’t know that. 

4. Crying because of Sports

Oliver Wood cries when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch cup. That's all.

And that brings us to our stragglers. The only non-childlike guys who cry for reasons other than death, pain, or sports are as follows: 

Harry Potter: 1 instance of crying

Draco Malfoy: 2 instances of crying

Severus Snape: 2 instances of crying

Albus Dumbledore: 4 instances of crying

Horace Slughorn: 1 instance of crying

Let’s see what’s going on here. 

Harry Potter

Dumbledore had weakened himself by drinking that terrible potion for nothing. Harry crumpled the parchment in his hand, and his eyes burned with tears as behind him. Fang began to howl. He clutched the cold locket in his hand so tightly that it hurt, but he could not prevent hot tears spilling from his eyes

There’s a lot going on in this moment: Harry is tired, frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed. But even though it is a complex moment, probably the main emotion is still Harry’s attempt to process Dumbledore’s death, now that he finally has a second to do so. So this honestly could have gone in the “Crying because of a death” category. It’s just different enough that I want to specially call it out. 

Draco Malfoy

We hear about Draco crying once from Myrtle, and then see it first hand: 

Malfoy was crying — actually crying — tears streaming down his pale face into the grimy basin.

The narrative takes a second to let us know that he was ACTUALLY CRYING, just to hammer in that this is something unexpected and not-normal. I think I want to attribute Draco’s tendency to cry - and cry because he’s overwhelmed, scared, lonely - to the character’s slight femme coding. What can I say, he cries for ""girly"" reasons. And so does Snape!

Severus Snape 

“Snivellus” is clearly a nickname meant to evoke the idea of “crybaby,” since “sniveling” is a synonym for crying. We also get this: 

Snape was kneeling in Sirius’s old bedroom. Tears were dripping from the end of his hooked nose as he read the old letter from Lily. 

Crying over Lily’s letter could count as crying over a death… but since he’s crying over a letter, not over a grave or her body (like in the movie), I’m going to say that he’s probably crying because of guilt, emotional overload, or love (especially because he rips the ‘love Lily’ off the end of that letter.) Like Draco, Snape might be getting little bit of femme-coding here. He’s the mean-girl type of bully (versus the mean boy) He cries, he threatens to poison people - which is something we only see women (and Draco) actually doing in these books. Idk, he’s an odd one who JKR clearly has very complicated feelings about. 

Albus Dumbledore 

I was actually really surprised that Dumbledore cries as much as he does, and at such unusual times! He cries when he sees Snape’s doe patronus - because of love or just because he’s emotionally overwhelmed. He cries all through the Horcrux cave, primarily because of guilt. He cries twice during the King’s Cross Station vision-quest, once because of his complicated feelings about Harry while he asks for forgiveness, and once over … Grindlewald.

“They say he showed remorse in later years, alone in his cell at Nurmengard. I hope that it is true. I would like to think he did feel the horror and shame of what he had done. Perhaps that lie to Voldemort was his attempt to make amends . . . to prevent Voldemort from taking the Hallow . . .”  “. . . or maybe from breaking into your tomb?” suggested Harry, and Dumbledore dabbed his eyes.

And okay. JKR announced that Dumbledore was gay just a few months after book seven was published, and I think she was folding in deliberate queer-coding as early Book 6. My proof of that is Dumbledore's increased emotionality - as we can see, it’s pretty unusual for men to cry in the Harry Potter books because of “softer” emotions like love, regret, stress etc. It’s something she associates with femininity, and I’m sure she associates gay guys with femininity as well (I mean, that’s a very common thing to do.)

There’s also this interesting passage from Book 6: 

This younger Albus Dumbledore’s long hair and beard were auburn. Having reached their side of the street, he strode off along the pavement, drawing many curious glances due to the flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet that he was wearing. “Nice suit, sir,” said Harry, before he could stop himself, but Dumbledore merely chuckled.

Now, this is subtle. Wizards out and about in the muggle world often wear unusual colors like purple and emerald green. However. That adjective flamboyantly is only used one other time in the entire series, to describe Fudge’s hand gestures. But here, it is used to describe an outfit, a purple velvet suit which is honestly more than a little bit Oscar Wilde. And “flamboyantly gay” … those are two words often heard together. 

Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but I am pretty sure this is the only opinion about clothing Harry ever expresses aloud. And, I think @niche-pastiche hit the nail right on the head, saying that Harry's "Nice suit, sir" is "SO the response of a young adhd boy in the early 2000s trying not to say "thats gay." 

Horace Slughorn

Horace Slughorn cries at Aragog’s funeral, not really out of grief for Aragog, but mostly out of a maudlin sense of togetherness, nostalgia, and camaraderie. And… I do think we have one more slightly morally ambiguous femme-coded guy on our hands? Like Dumbledore, Slughorn is very much a flashy dresser, with shiny hair and gold buttons on his waistcoat. He loves treats and candies (hey… so does Dumbledore. They’re the only adults with a sweet tooth like that.) He loves fancy dinner parties, and is well-connected without being ambitious the way Lucius is. He also (like Draco) is aligned with pureblood-supremacy, but hyper avoidant of violence and confrontation. Except for the Harry example, I think I’d be comfortable with calling all of these last few instances “Femme-Coded Crying.” 

* Methodology - My list of 208 Harry Potter characters comes from TV Tropes, which had the most complete breakdown. I am excluding characters from Cursed Child and the Fantastic Beasts Films. 

In order to find instances of crying, I searched for the words “cried/cry/crying” “tears” “sob” and “sniff.” I counted each crying episode as one, even if crying was brought up multiple times throughout the scene. I made the fairest call I could whenever I hit a “the crying intensified” or the “the tears restarted,” but I mostly judge pretty conservatively when I’m ringing up data.

[severussnapemylove]

Sometimes I wonder if JKR even realises she wrote Snape as a victim of sexual assault. Because he unambiguously is, and she writes him as traumatised by the incident. So it seems mad to suggest that she might not have thought through the implications of her own writing, but if she did get it, I am baffled by how sympathetic she remains to James. Harry is never really made to confront how vile his actions were, because he looks for comfort from Remus and Sirius rather than telling Hermione who would react in horror and disgust, and he gets to skip over it completely in The Prince’s Tale. JKR clearly considers James a hero, and has confirmed that in interviews. She’s even more sympathetic to Lily, who is portrayed as an absolute paragon of goodness, morality and virtue, despite her being attracted enough to James *after* he publicly commits sexual assault on a less privileged kid to marry him! What a malfunctioning moral compass. JKR also has no sympathy at all for Tom Riddle Sr, who is a victim of rape, and his rapist Merope Gaunt, who is herself strongly implied to be a victim of incestual abuse, is condemned by Dumbledore and the narrative not for what she did to Tom but for not being as courageous as nice, pretty, middle class Lily Evans because Merope committed the crime of…dying in childbirth. The only conclusions I can draw from this is that JKR is the sort of ´feminist’ who doesn’t believe men can be the victims of sexual crimes, and that deep down she thinks being a member of the underclass who can’t drag themselves out of it alone is indicative of moral failure.

This! All of this!

I don't think she puts it together at all. She's incredibly tone deaf about a lot of the abuse she puts these characters through. And with the blasé attitude she has about male victims of SA in the books definitely goes along her brand of toxic radical "feminism". It looks like she just doesn't recognise the severity of what happens to these characters. On top of Severus's attack and Tom Riddle Sr, remember that Ron was roofied with love spell that was intended for Harry, and Moaning Myrtle is incredible predatory towards the boys. Sadly, this attitude carries over from the author to a chunk of the fandom too. I've seen so much dismissiveness of the assaults against the male characters, especially Severus. And it's even more disappointing when I see people who have experienced abuse saying that what Severus endured "didn't count" as abuse. Had someone today on another platform having an absolute meltdown at me, saying that what happened in SWM wasn't sa, and that he wasn't traumatised from his abuse and if his anger was caused by trauma then why wasn't Harry the same. Seriously, you can't tell another person that what they experienced wasn't "bad enough to be abuse", that's a very warped mentality. Survivors are supposed to support each other, not belittle each other's trauma. Also, what book did they read that they think Harry doesn't have issues from the life he endured? He has different issues than Severus, yes, because he had different life experiences and everyone's reactions to trauma are different.

"Merope Riddle chose death in spite of a son who needed her, but do not judge her too harshly, Harry. She was greatly weakened by long suffering and she never had your mother's courage."

WTF is this!!!??? This is just plain victim blaming. "Your mothers' courage"? Lily had supportive, loving parents, was loved by her peers, admired by her teachers, had a very comfortable, secure life. Merope was physically and mentally abused for her whole life. They really criticized the poverty stricken, abuse victim for not being as "strong" as the Mary Sue of the Wizarding World??? Toxic as hell. Personally, as someone who has dealt with self-harm, mental illness and generational trauma in my family, this attitude of "they weren't strong enough" is nauseating and infuriating.

There really is a disturbing trend of extreme poverty equalling a dead-end life with no hope. Which is again an extremally toxic and judgmental attitude and a very dangerous message to put in a book aimed to children. The attitude towards abuse, poverty and indecent assault of men is beyond problematic, not only in the books but in far too many members of the fandom.

I could rant more but this will go on for pages.

[newtiecookie]

HARRY POTTER HOT TAKES

TBH I miss jily and all the sunshine gryffindor vibes. When did we start to romanticize death eaters like evan rosier and barty crouch like NOT EVERYONE HAS A TRAGIC BACKSTORY SOME OF THEM ARE JUST EVIL. I loveee regulus with all my heart but I absolutely DESPISE jegulus. Like did y'all forget james potter was the no.1 slytherin hater?!

Also I have a bone to pick with people who write jegulus fanfics with LILY SLANDER and WHERE JAMES CHEATS ON HER (I'm coming for yall)

DRACO WAS NOT A TRAUMATIZED LITTLE BABY HE WAS A SPOILED BRAT. He's definitely not better than harry or ron in any way possible. He did not have trauma. And don't even begin to whine about him having a sadder life than harry. FYI harry was orphaned and abused by the dursleys only to come into the Wizarding world and be exploited by Dumbledore and the ministry.

I HATE DRAMIONE/HARIMIONE. That's it. Stop it.

Snape was not a good person and neither was Dumbledore. Snape did not love Lily, he was obsessed with her. Like did everyone forget that he wanted to kill james and harry just so that Lily could be widowed for him? He chose to spy for Dumbledore because it was a safe and comfortable job. Dumbledore literally saved Snape from going to Azkaban and (edits cuz im in doubt) snape also wanted Dumbledore to fire remus because of his ongoing desire to expose remus' secret despite him literally taking snapes side in hbp. " For the greater good" true, but i will forever loathe them.

[sparsilees]

it’s almost the end of 2024. can we drop this absolutely inane fanonical idea that harry james potter is “oblivious” or “unobservant” or “average”?

fuck your fanon harry. fuck that soggy tissue who doesn’t inspire confidence in others. fuck that lummox who cannot string a sentence together. fuck that hothead who’d lash out in anger and throw punches at every provocation. fuck that namby-pamby who can’t read clues or between the lines or come up with a plan of action. fuck that sheep who can’t function without hermione’s direction. fuck that neanderthal who’s a messy eater, messy writer, messy speaker, and has poor manners.

who the bloody hell is that? that’s not harry james potter. why are you twisting and malforming him into a bloody clown?

why are you undermining the main character of his own series? boy has an abysmal self-esteem, stays quiet and lowkey, bottles up his truest feelings and thoughts (that we as readers are privy to, but not the other characters!), and has a calm and composed mien so you think you too can dismiss his character easily and strip him down to a skeleton of his canon self and instead carve out huge character growth, redemption arcs, and love letters for everyone else?

you wish to evoke sympathy for draco by making lucius out to be an abusive father and crafting a pitiful childhood for draco when they have an affectionate parent-child relationship canonically, but downplay harry’s abuse? you realise that tom riddle, sirius black, james potter, and hermione granger are acknowledged to be the brightest of their generation, yet forget harry potter and tom riddle are two sides of the same coin, even sharing a similar appearance, and reduce harry to a silly caricature? you make harry magically powerful but wrest his smarts away to highlight someone else’s big brain?

you make him out to be a short dork with a shorter fuse and no idea what’s going on around him when harry and tom are both described as woe-ridden orphans—with all that entails from constant hunger to cold sleepless nights to hypervigilance to the forced, quick maturity—but treat tom true to canon as tall, cunning, and clever, then do an about-face to conveniently slap the malnourished, oblivious, and slacker labels on harry to make him as lesser than?

when he picked up the impervious spell simply from having seen hermione perform it once, when his closest friends have difficulty gleaning his thoughts, when his anger is cold and sharp like dumbledore (ootp was a study in ptsd, next!), when he’s just as tall as his father, was just as ill-treated as a house elf, and rightfully brilliant as the son of lily and james potter—the two powerful and talented individuals who once had voldemort trying to recruit them to join his cause?

the sheer disrespect on his name. the sheer mockery of his character. the absolutely mind-boggling erasure of his most defining traits.

who do you think sussed out most of the big clues, and stowed away all the little, random bits of information in his memory bank, to ultimately piece the puzzle together at the final showdown every end of the school year? who realised as a mere firstie that quirrel was the man hagrid blabbed to about fluffy and the dragon egg? who noted that ginny was withdrawn and unlike herself? who had an inkling fleur had taken a fancy to bill? who picked up on what was brewing between ron and hermione before their own selves? who noticed that hermione cast a confundus on cormac mclaggen during the match? who caught on instantly to the change in tense used for the diadem’s existence and confidently tracked it down? who cottoned on to luna’s longtime disappearance from her cold, untouched bed and the layer of dust? who did voldemort consider his equal? who actually has an uncanny sense of intuition? who calls the shots when the trio gets into a pickle? who?

mcgonagall? flitwick? draco? hermione? blaise zabini? no!

excuse harry for that one time he did not look deeply into the mental workings of a grieving girl because he’s not equipped to deal with them, and has in the first place never been taught to process his own emotions properly because he didn’t grow up in a healthy environment, prohibited from expressing his feelings, let alone vulnerability, and voicing his thoughts!

let’s bury this annoyingly stupid narrative for good. go read the books and refresh your perspective. stop doing him dirty. you’ve already butchered sirius black’s character into a pathetic sisspot. and now you want to assassinate harry’s too.

[soup-of-the-daisies]

“Harry didn’t name any of his kids after Remus because he’s saving that option for Teddy!”

Wrong. Harry didn’t name any of his kids after Remus because it wasn’t personal enough.

James Sirius is named after his two fathers; Lily Luna is named after his mother and one of his and Ginny’s best friends. Albus Severus is named after two wizards who were incredibly influential for Harry’s development and safety (I have a HC on why on earth Harry decided to name his child after Dumbledore and Snape, but that’s a separate post entirely). None of his and Ginny’s kids are named after Remus, not (just) because they wished to save the name for Teddy, but because of Teddy.

Harry looks his orphaned godson in the eyes one day, a year or two after the Battle, and realises how fucked up it was that Remus, despite technically being able to, never visited him. He can’t imagine leaving Teddy all alone like that, in a family he might know doesn’t look favourably upon magic. There’s a chance that Lily may have told Remus about Petunia and Vernon and their bigotry, their hatred. And Remus, for some reason, didn’t come look.

Harry looks that little boy in the eyes and realises how weird it was that Remus didn’t admit to having been the best of friends with James Potter until late into Harry’s third year. Harry can’t fathom that, if Teddy was Ron and Hermione’s kid and both Ron and Hermione died, he’d be able to talk to the spitting image of Ron with Hermione’s eyes (but starved, intense, broken, thirteen years old and remembering his parents’ murders) and not say, “Your parents were my best friends. Let me tell you about them; let me tell you all that you want to know.”

Harry figures he’d move mountains to keep Teddy safe and happy. Harry figures that Sirius would’ve done the same, considering he mustered up the strength to break out of Azkaban after twelve years and swim to Britain to ensure Harry’s safety at the smallest sign of danger. Sirius lived in a cave and ate rats for Harry with dementors breathing down his back: Harry knows with utmost certainty that, if Sirius had had the freedom to do so, he would’ve burnt the country down for Harry.

Remus didn’t do that for him, wouldn’t have, be it for a lack of freedom or a lack of want. Remus was ‘Lupin’ to Harry even in death, even after being named godfather to his son. Harry had to convince thirty-seven year old Remus to stay with his pregnant wife at seventeen. Harry got blown into a wall for his efforts, was given the honour of becoming godfather months later. Harry liked Remus, still loves him even, but there’s nothing Harry wouldn’t do for Teddy and there was very little Remus did for Harry, and there’s that.

Later, Harry doesn’t even suggest naming a child after Remus. Ginny doesn’t even ask. None of their children are named after Remus, because Harry is a man who is quick to anger when it’s about innocents, a man whose forgiveness only goes so far. He’s never been truly bothered by his own situation, but he’s bothered by the mere idea of Teddy ending up in a similar one and him doing nothing.

Remus did nothing. That’s the crux of it. That’s why.

(After Lily Luna is born, Teddy asks if ‘Luna’ is for his dad. Harry looks at Ginny, and Ginny looks at him, and Harry does what Remus taught him: he swallows his apprehension and lies.

“Yes,” he says, raking his fingers through Teddy’s fluffy, turquoise hair. He thinks he’ll raze cities for this child. “But we saved ‘Remus’ for you.”)

[justagirlwholikesadam]

In Another Life

Severus Snape x FEM!Reader

Summary: The golden trio ask their D.A.D.A teacher for information about the new professor called Mrs. Snape.

A/N: I tried to do another blurb with some angst but i just kept typing! By the way, I haven’t read the books so if something doesn’t make sense just ignore it or stop reading. Enjoy! -L

Warning: Married, mention of Self Harm, Remus Lupin Has a Crush, Young Severus Snape, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Bullied Severus Snape, Angst, Fluff, Romance, Crush at First Sight, Minor James Potter/Lily, Young James Potter, Young Sirius Black

Word Count: 4.6K

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Professor Lupin was deep in thought as he stared at the old wrinkled chocolate wrapper. He held it carefully in his hands, his thumb tracing the gold color front on the wrapper. Leaning back in his chair, he lets out a sigh. It’s been so long since he looked at the wrapper. He had hidden it at the bottom of his suitcase years ago, he never threw it out. He didn’t want to, he didn't want to forget. 

He had gone through his suitcase after the morning announcement. He was recovering from a full moon, he wasn’t in the right headspace, he was tired and wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. He was in his usual place at the teacher table, staring at the empty plate in front of him. He didn’t pay attention when Dumbledore walked to the podium. It wasn’t until he heard your name. He hasn’t heard it in so long but it’s different now. Your last name is different. He looked around when the students and the teachers near him clapped. He freezes for a moment when he looks down at the teacher table and sees you standing up from your chair giving a small bow. 

You sit back down and look to your left at the Potion Master, Severus. His eyes widen when he sees Severus giving you a smile. He looks down at the table and notices your join hands. Severus' thumb was rubbing the inside of your wrist as the headmaster spoke. Looking away, Dumbledore is walking back to his seat and allowing breakfast to be served. 

He almost dropped the wrapper when there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in.” He shouts, placing the wrapper on his desk before rising up from his seat. “Harry. Hermione. Ronald, what do I owe this pleasure?” He greeted them with a smile as he walked in front of his desk and sat on the edge of it as the trio walked inside of the classroom. 

“Professor Lupin-” Hermione starts to speak but quiets down when she looks over at Harry and Ron. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking between them. With everything going on, he hoped it wasn’t too serious and hoped he’s able to help them. 

“What do you know about Professor Snape - well Mrs. Snape?” Harry blurts out. Ron shares a look with Harry when they notice their professor stuffing his hands in the front pocket of his cardigan looking a bit weirded out. 

“Is something the matter? It’s her first day.” Remus questioned the trio. 

“We don’t trust her! She’s Professor Snape’s wife!” Ron exclaimed. “I see.” Remus signaled the trio to sit down. 

“Dumbledore wouldn’t have brought Mrs. Snape into Hogwarts if he didn’t trust her. You must trust him as well as her. Y/n is very kind.” Remus cursed himself when he mentioned your first name. 

“Y/n.”  Hermione repeats the name. “I heard that name before.” 

Remus shook his head. “You haven’t.” He snapped at her. The trio flinched at his harsh tone. He had to give them something to forget about your name. They couldn’t know who you were. Things will get messy and people will start to poke their nose around. He fears that the trio will still meddle in and get themselves into trouble. He didn't want that. 

“What I tell you now must never leave this room, do you hear me?” Remus said, looking at the trio. They nodded at him and Remus shook his head. 

“Swear it to me! I will tell you about her and her cousin, Sirius.” Harry looked at his friends who were shocked. "You knew him?" Harry asked.

"We were friends in school and lost touched after." Remus lied. "Do you still want to know about her?" They nodded at him. 

“Swear it! What I tell you now stays with us.” Remus shouted at the top of his lungs. “We swear!” Hermione answered back for all of them. 

“I knew Mrs. Snape, we went to school together and she was…” Remus drifted off as he reminisced the moment he first saw you.  

He was famished, he missed breakfast and he had told his friends that he was heading to the great hall early for lunch. Remus was staring down at the ground as he walked when he heard laughter. Looking ahead he saw a group of girls walking, he stopped in mid step about to turn to the great hall when he saw you. You held a book out in your hands, open and pointing at a passage. He saw your eyes were wide and filled with excitement. Your laughter rang out as you shut the book and the girls around you joined in. They passed by him without a glance. He hasn’t seen you before, he couldn’t believe he had missed such a beautiful jewel like you. 

Remus continued on to stare as you walked into the great hall joining the Slytherin's table. He was so busy admiring your beauty that he didn’t see the green tie or the green lining on your uniform. He frowned when he noticed you waving bye at the girls and joined at the far end of the table. He gulped when he saw you sat across, from no other than Severus. 

Remus knew what would happen next, Severus would just curse you out for bothering him. Severus has always had a cold exterior and he didn’t blame him for it. He’s been bullied by his friends. Remus thought he was dreaming when he saw Severus let out a smile as you showed him the book you were holding. Remus could see how awe you looked when looking at Severus. A smile appeared on your face when Severus looked up at you. He notices your hand taking the book before brushing against Severus’ slender fingers. Severus didn’t pull away; he kept his gaze on you, his smile didn’t fade. 

Remus didn’t see what happened next when he felt a pair of hands grab a hold on his shoulders.

“MOONY!!” 

He flinched as James came behind me. “I’m starving.” Remus looked over his shoulder giving his friend a smile. 

“Sirius is talking to a girl, he said we can start without him.” Remus nodded as he walked with James into the hall. He glanced over at you as he passed by your table, thanking Merlin that James passed Severus without making any snide comment.

He starts to notice you more after that day. In the library, in the great hall and in the hallways. He thinks as every day passes you get more beautiful. He was so excited when the new year came and he had you in one of his classes. Sadly, before he had the chance to ask if he could sit by you. The seat was taken by some Hufflepuff, he decided to sit behind you. 

He rarely got the chance to talk to you mostly because he was always surrounded by his friends and the day that he was alone was the day of the full moon when he transformed into a werewolf. It was later on that he finally asked James about you. He sitting with him in the hall. James was eating up a storm since he had a Quidditch match later on. 

“You see that girl over there with Severus?” Remus tries to be nonchalant about it to not raise any questions. 

James looks over his shoulders and chuckles, shaking his head as he takes another bite from his butter toast. 

“Sinvelly with his little girlfriend, Black.” James said with disgust. 

“They been glued to the fucking hip since she arrived.” Remus remains silent for a moment then looks over at Severus and you eating breakfast. 

“What?! B-black like cousin-” Remus gets cut off when Lily comes walking in sitting beside James giving him a peck on cheek. 

“Sirius’ cousin mate! Sirius told me, her parents are in the same family, you know a way to keep it pure.” James answered Remus.  

“Who are you guys talking about?” Lily asked as she scooped some scrambled eggs on to her plate. 

“Greasy hair Snivellus with his little girlfriend.” James replies to Lily. Remus noticed the face she made and keeps quiet. She didn’t want to know about him anymore not since he called her a mudblood. While Lily quietly looks over her shoulder to see Severus. Remus was looking ahead over James’ head to look at you. 

“He seems happy.” Lily softly said before turning back around. 

“He won’t for long.” James said with a chuckle. 

The next time he heard you speak was when a prank was pulled on Severus. You had found them in a abandoned hallway. 

“Well, if it isn’t my sweet dear cousin.” Sirius said when he heard someone yelling his name. Remus and Peter grew nervous as you walked towards them. You passed them ignoring James and Sirius and kneeling down next to Severus who was trying to get up but the amount of green slime on him was weighing him down. 

“Leave us, Sirius.”  You said standing up to face the four Gryffindor boys. 

“I think not. Tell me how can you kiss slimy pale Snivelly? I think we need to start pranking you next.” James and Sirius both laughed. Sirius elbow Remus to join in but he kept quiet like he always did whenever they pulled pranks on Severus. 

“I want you to prank me, cousin. I want you to do it, so then I can beat you into a bloody pulp.” You look over at James. 

“I’ll break your fucking legs you could forget about playing Quidditch. I’m gonna shove that broom stick so far up your ass is going to come out of your mouth.” James' smile dies as you speak to him. 

Peter flinched under your dark gaze. “Bucktooth Peter. I don’t think you need to be punished. That face you were born with is punishment enough.”

Remus gathered all the courage he had to look up at you. He was met with your eyes and as much as he was scared, he was so intrigued by them. Your eyes that he saw held so much love and softness are now dark and cloudy with anger. You look away from Remus not mentioning him at all. Sirius took out his wand and you copied him. 

Your laughter filled the hallway as you stared at your cousin. “I want you to fucking do it. I’m sure your little friends would like to see how we battle. You know how the battle ends when you go against me.” 

James looks at Sirius who begins to shake with anger. “You’re just like them. A fucking monster.” 

Remus saw the way your eyes soften but quickly covered it up when you hit Sirius with a non vocal spell. It was Expelliarmus, because Sirius’ wand flew out of his hand. The boy's eyes grew after that, it was something that took lots of skills and practice.  

“We both truly know who the monsters are especially those who share our last name.” Sirius looks away from you. Remus tried to place a comforting hand on Sirius’ shoulder but he shrugged it off too embarrassed that he was just unarmed him. Remus knew what you were talking about. Remus and he grew close throughout the years in Hogwarts. You were talking about your family.  

“Enough with this pranking. Got it? You know what I can do. Let him be.” You snapped at them.

You look over at Severus. The green slime is long gone, he’s leaning against the wall holding his own wand with a hard face staring at Sirius. Remus thought his crush on you would disappear when he saw Severus placing a hand on your back but it didn’t. He felt jealous because Severus was touching you. Remus took a step back when Severus suddenly turned his eyes towards him and glared at him with such hatred. Remus let out a small gasp when Severus looked down at you then him. 'There was no way, right?' He thought to himself. Severus couldn’t know what he was thinking about. 

Before anyone could say something, Severus flicked his wand at them without speaking. Remus felt himself being thrown back and darkness overcame him. 

“That asshole.” Remus heard Sirius say as he finally woke up. All four of them had been thrown back to the end of the hallway. Peter moaned and groaned as he held his head, James rubbed his knee that got banged on the floor. Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand, helping him stand up, they looked back at the hallway, you and Severus were long gone. 

Remus stayed silent as the three of his friends started to talk among themselves on how to get back at Severus. He ignored them, the full moon was approaching and he was feeling it. His long limbs were getting stiff. 

“Wait! Are you saying Severus knew what you were thinking? Like he can read minds.” Harry questioned him, pulling him out of his story. 

“Legilimens.” Hermione said, looking at the professor. Remus nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“That's why he hates me because of my father. He bullied and tormented him.” Remus noticed the sadness on Harry's face. 

“What happened between Y/n and Sirius?” Hermione asked Remus. 

“After that day, Severus began to watch me. Whenever we were in the same class or the hallways. I thought I was going crazy. Sirius caught on what he was doing to me and knew Severus was interested in me and where I went every month.” 

Harry frowned. “Every month?” 

Remus looks down at the ground sadly and in shame. “You're a werewolf.” Hermione said softly. “Blimey!” Ron exclaimed, earning a shove from Hermione. “How did you-” 

“Professor Snape taught us about it when you were out the last time.” Harry answered him. 

"We won't tell anyone, we swear." Harry told as the rest nodded at their professor. 

Harry hasn't seen Remus act this way before. Looking so shameful, he began to run his fingers through his hair as he took deep breaths. “It was a horrible prank what Sirius did to Severus. I didn't know. I would kill myself before hurting someone but Severus didn't believe me.” 

That night was a mess, Remus refused to speak with his friends. He felt used, they knew how he felt about being a werewolf. James had saved Severus that night and Dumbledore told him to keep it a secret. Severus was on the other side of the hospital wing being looked out while Remus laid on the opposite side away from him, he had the divider panel up so no one could see him. He hears light footsteps coming inside of the wing. He dreaded if it was for him, he didn't want to see anyone. 

He heard your voice. “What happened, Sev?!” “Fuck, when you didn't come I knew something happened? I was so worried. Are you hurt, my love?” 

He shut his eyes tightly when he heard Severus break into a sob. He felt pathetic when he heard you comforting Severus. Your sweet voice comforting the scared boy. He imagined you saying those words to him. He was jealous once more that Severus had you while he had no one to confront him. 

“Y/n!” His eyes shot open when he heard Sirius. He sees his friends near his bedside, James had tugged down the divider and they looked across the wing. Remus looked over to see you laying down next to Severus. 

“What the hell?” He yelled as you came down from the bed, looking over at Severus who grabbed his wand and pointed at him without a single thought. 

“This was your idea? The prank?” You yelled at your cousin. 

“People could have died. All of you could have died. You want to be six feet under!” You screamed. 

James walked behind Sirius with his wand in his hand, ready to defend him in case Severus decides to attack. Sirius was about to speak when he froze when he saw you were tearing up. 

You look over at Remus who is still laid on the bed, “I thought you were different but you are just like them.” Those were the first words you spoke to Remus and it hit him to his very core. 

“He had no idea about it.” Sirius told you. Your cousin turned to his friend. “I'm really sorry, mate.” Remus looks away from his friend’s sad gaze towards you. 

“Please stop the pranks. The curses on one another.” You said to them and Severus. “I don't think so.” James said, looking between you and Severus.

“What do you want?” James frowned and you repeated your question to him. 

“What will it take for you to stop?” James shakes his head and gives a disbelief chuckle making you angry, Sirius kept looking at you and Severus. 

“Stay here.” Sirius told James before walking towards you. Severus was about to jump out of the bed but you waved him to stop. 

“She looked up at him.” Remus told the trio with a smile. “No fear in her eyes and Sirius asked something that James and Peter couldn't hear but I did. Since I'm a werewolf, my hearing is better than most.” Harry watched their teacher speak He can see it in his eyes that he held so much admiration for Mrs. Snape. 

“What did they say?” Ron asked eagerly. 

“He asked her why him, why Sinvelly? She responded to him right away, he's the only one that doesn't see me as a monster.” Remus answered. 

“The Black are the most noble and ancient house in the wizarding world. Their views are pureblood supremacy. Sirius didn't think like them and so did Y/n. After that Sirius told us why the family thought she was a monster. Unlike him, Y/n is very powerful, too powerful that it alarmed the family because she couldn't control it. Her emotion makes her power lash out. She had mistakenly taken lives because of it.” 

“Why is she so powerful?” Harry asked. “Her blood, right?” Hermione spoke out looking at their teacher. 

“Yes, her mother was one of many unfortunate woman who had to deal with being born in a noble family. Her mother was married off with a family member. She died giving birth to Y/n.” 

“What happened after the prank? What did Sirius tell her?” Harry asked the professor. 

“I don’t think you're a monster, he told her. She just shook her head. You called me a monster a week ago. She answered back then walked away. The pranks did stop, he asked James to stop. Severus ignored us and we did the same. Severus and Y/n whereabouts were unknown after they were done with school. Sirius never mentioned her again but I knew it was hard for him. All he wanted was a family.” Remus finished looking over at Harry. 

Remus didn’t want to say at the end Sirius did get his little family with James, Lily, Peter and him. Harry would know in time who his godfather is. Harry will know in time the truth. 

“Thank you for telling us, Professor. We feel a little bit comfortable now knowing about her.” Hermione said, making him nod. 

“Remember what I said.” He pointed his finger at them and they simultaneously said. “This never leaves the room.” 

“Thank you. Have a good day, children.” Remus said as Ron and Hermione began to walk out. 

“Professor?” Harry called out before walking out the door. 

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Harry asked him. Remus stood up straight and shook his head. 

“Not anymore. It was a simple school crush. That was the only time she spoke to me.” Harry nodded at his response and wished him a good day. Remus let out a sigh after Harry left. 

He looks back at the wrapper in his desk with a longing stare and he feels his chest tightened at the sight of it.

Poppy Pomfrey was making Remus stay a few extra days before he would be allowed to leave. Peter has been visiting him and bringing him his homework and books throughout the day. Remus didn’t want to speak to James and Sirius just yet. It was late and Remus was alone in the hospital wing, he was finishing a chapter of his book when he heard the door open. Remus got his wand from the table and waved it at the divider panel to move to the side thinking probably it’s Pomfrey with another dose of healing potion. 

Moving the divider panel he froze when he saw you. “Hey.” You said as you walked towards the end of his bed. 

“H-Hi.” Remus said before fixing the blanket of the bed and shutting his book. Placing it along with his wand on the table near him. 

“How are you feeling?” You asked. Remus' brows knitted together looking around the room to see if this was joke but you came alone in the middle of the night. 

“I’m okay. The first few days after a full moon are the hardest but I’m okay.” He said and you nodded. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” You said softly to him, looking down at the book on the table and a smile appeared on your face.

“The Shining. How do you like it? It’s one of my favorites.” Remus was shocked that you knew about a muggle book. 

“You know about Stephen King?” Remus asked you, surprised. You nodded at the brunette in front of you and sat down at the side of the bed as Remus took the book in his hands showing you the cover to make sure you really did know who the author was. 

“Yes! It’s his third book actually. My guilty pleasure is muggles literature but I have to keep it hidden from my family. They disapprove anything that has to do with muggles.” You told him looking up from the cover of the book at him. Remus’ face changed when you told him how you had to hide something you like from your family. He was so close to you and he can see every eyelash, he can see the way your nose stands out and how your lips are pressed together in a small pout. 

“I'm sorry about before. I thought you were on the prank.” Remus saw you looking down at your lap when you apologized. You started to play with the skin around your fingernails. 

“It’s alright. I’m still trying to get over it.” 

“Getting used like that is something difficult to get over, Remus.” His heart breaks, the way you said. The way your eyes darken when you said it made him want to hug you. 

“It seems like you’re speaking from experience.” He said, making you look at him. 

“When one holds an ability, sometimes people take advantage of it, show it off, hide it and sometimes get hurt because of it.” Your magic, Remus thought. 

“He cares for you so I know he didn’t mean to hurt you.” You told him. Remus knew you meant Sirius. He asked you, “How do you know?” 

“Cousin intuition some shit like that.” He gave you a smile, which you returned as well. 

“I wanted to give you something.” Remus saw you getting something from the inside pocket of your robes. He saw a shiny golden bar in your hands. 

“Chocolate?” Remus asked as you passed him the candy. You nodded. He looked at the wrapper with wide eyes. This candy was something he had never seen, it had to be expensive since the wrapper was so nice and looked fancy. 

“You like chocolate right?” Remus looks at you to see you staring at him worry. 

“I do!” Remus nodded and pointed at the bar giving you a thumbs up. “How did you know?” He asked softly, watching as you look away while your cheeks turn pink. 

“We-well, you sit behind me in fourth period. I can hear the chocolate wrappers you open behind me.” Remus snorts out a laugh making you look at him surprised that he snorted loudly. He had laughed because if you only knew how hard he tried to not make a peep in class when unwrapping his chocolate behind you.   

“I'm so sorry.” You shook your head as he covered his face with his hands, hiding his smile away from you. 

“Don't be.” You couldn't help but join him as he continued to laugh at himself.

Remus was still covering his face when you leaned forward and grabbed a hold of his wrist bringing his hand down to his lap. Remus looks down at your hand on him. Your touch was warm, not what he was expecting. He was expecting a cold and stiff touch. Your fingertips touched the inside of his wrist, he knew you could feel the light scars on his skin. You turned his arm over to see his wrist. Remus was about to pull away when you showed him your own wrist with your own scars. 

“Remus.” The professor looks up from his desk and notices the door is open. Standing up straight he notices you walking inside. You stood across from him a few feet away with a small smile. 

“Apologize, Professor Lupin. I was knocking for a while.” You said pointing over your shoulder at the door. 

Remus can't help but look at you, you have grown into a very beautiful woman. He can see you didn't share the same taste in clothes as your husband. You wore muggle clothes, a knee length dark green dress with a black cardigan, and you wore a pair of black court heel shoes. 

“I should be apologizing. I didn't hear you, I haven't been myself these past couple of days.” Remus said, running his fingers through his hair before letting a sigh. He notices you crossed your arms over your chest and tilted your head looking at him. 

“I know, Severus told me it was a full moon not long ago. He asked me to give you a little pick me up potion. He just finished brewing it.” You said walking towards him. Remus looks as your hips sway while walking towards him handing him the vial. 

“That was very nice of him.” Remus said with a face making you laugh. “I know my husband can be…difficult.” Remus barks a laugh. “Just difficult?” 

“He is many things but he has a kind heart.” Remus nods but doesn't believe it, it’s hard for him. 

“He does. He was the one who told me to bring this to you.” You said before scrunching your face trying to get the same scowl as your dear husband. 

“Lupin needs to get better so those kids will stop pestering me about him.” You imitated Severus' smooth and cool voice. Remus lets out a laugh, loudly making you smile. He covered his mouth to hid his smile as he looked over at you. 

“You're always covering your face.” You said, grabbing a hold of his wrist. You held on his wrist as he showed you his wide smile. He feels his heart fluttering in his chest as he looks down at you. 

Remus pulls away from your grasp and clears his throat. He shouldn't be this close to you, you're married and you're happy with your marriage. He doesn't want to ruin that. Remus regrets never taking that chance that night you visited him years ago. The chance to be friends, maybe something more but damn the way you looked at Severus was something he only read in books and he doubts that you would ever look at him the way you looked at Severus. Severus was the same thing, his dark eyes always following you. He always had a hand on you, and even when you weren't looking he admire you.  

‘Perhaps in another life he would have taken that chance.’ He told himself. 

[forestdeath1]

Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 3. Harshness and toughness (and how Sirius Black differs from James Potter). It's long. Really long.

Sirius isn't a soft crybaby. His harshness (and even cruelty) goes beyond the silly teenage pranks we usually see in fanfiction. Sirius is often either whitewashed by newer fans or overly demonized by anti-Marauders fans. Sirius has a tough exterior but a heart of gold. He's not childish and had to grow up early, though he can still be quite fun.

‘Do you know, I still have trouble believing it,’ said Madam Rosmerta thoughtfully. ‘Of all the people to go over to the Dark side, Sirius Black was the last I’d have thought ... .’

"Of all the people to go over to the Dark side, Sirius Black was the last I’d have thought" – this shouldn't be taken literally. Rosmerta saw many others regularly, Dumbledore, Lily, Remus, and many others, and out of all of them, Sirius Black was the last who could turn to the Dark side? Seriously? Did Sirius walk around with a halo and angel wings?

One trait that is always emphasized in his appearance is his haughty, bored look.

Rosmerta speaks metaphorically, not literally. She saw Sirius once a month or two when they went out to Hogsmeade to have fun and drink. In those moments, Sirius was lively, funny and noisy (especially lively after running away from home), and perhaps he even flirted with Rosmerta in a childish manner, melting the heart of the adult woman.

Sirius can be funny, although his humor is always edging towards dark:

"Imagine wasting your time and energy persecuting merpeople when there are little toerags like Kreacher on the loose.’ 

Ron laughed but Hermione looked upset. 

‘Sirius!’ she said reproachfully. ‘Honestly, if you made a bit of an effort with Kreacher, I’m sure he’d respond. After all, you are the only member of his family he’s got left, and Professor Dumbledore said –’ 

‘So, what are Umbridge’s lessons like?’ Sirius interrupted. ‘Is she training you all to kill half-breeds?’

Moreover, he interrupts Hermione, not letting her finish her point. He sharply outlines if he doesn't want to listen.

"the stuffed elf-heads on the hall wall wore Father Christmas hats and beards"

Dark humor.

‘Kreacher is cleaning,’ the elf repeated. ‘Kreacher lives to serve the Noble House of Black –’ 

‘And it’s getting blacker every day, it’s filthy,’ said Sirius.

Here he responds with a clear "Black" shade. His mother also loved to talk about filth.

‘Sirius – it’s me ... it’s Peter ... your friend ... you wouldn’t ...’ Black kicked out and Pettigrew recoiled. ‘There’s enough filth on my robes without you touching them,’ said Black.

And again. And here’s his mother:

‘Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers –’ 

‘Stains of dishonour, filthy half-breeds, blood traitors, children of filth ...’

Sirius desperately wants to be unlike the Blacks, but he is still Sirius Black.

‘I thought it was the perfect plan ... a bluff ... Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you ... it must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters.’

Sirius's humor isn't the only harsh thing about him. Even though here he has a reason – after Azkaban he met James's traitor – his way of speaking reflects his overall personality. The way one speaks is a mirror of personality, even if Sirius has PTSD, it only exposes even more vividly what he might control in a calm state.

‘Nasty temper he’s got, that Sirius Black.’ (Peeves)

At the same time, yes, he can be cheerful and infect everyone around him with his cheerfulness. If he's in a sombre mood, he creates a quite oppressive atmosphere around him that everyone feels. Just as with a good mood – everyone feels it.

Harry could not remember Sirius ever being in such a good mood; he was actually singing carols, apparently delighted that he was to have company over Christmas. 

-

Sirius tramping past their door towards Buckbeak’s room, singing ‘God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs’ at the top of his voice. 

-

Sirius’s delight at having the house full again, and especially at having Harry back, was infectious. He was no longer their sullen host of the summer; now he seemed determined that everyone should enjoy themselves as much, if not more than they would have done at Hogwarts, and he worked tirelessly in the run-up to Christmas Day, cleaning and decorating with their help.

But the ability to be cheerful is in no way connected to being very harshn at the same time. This is precisely the case with Sirius.

Of all the Marauders, only Sirius is really harsh and can be truly dangerous (the author wrote about him, “The best-looking, most rebellious, most dangerous of the four marauders”). James was also a bully, but he's not harsh, despite the fact that it was he who pulled down Snape's trousers. Why? I think Sirius was already aware of what they were doing. James – not. Without awareness, it's too early to speak of any harshness and cruelty. Sirius had this awareness and still continued to do it.

Let's consider the reactions of Sirius and James in comparison.

‘Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?’ 

Sirius did not smile. ‘My whole family have been in Slytherin,’ he said.

‘Blimey,’ said James, ‘and I thought you seemed all right!’ 

Sirius grinned. ‘Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?’

A small note: Sirius didn't even react to James's "I'd leave", even though he knew his whole family was from Slytherin, and he was likely to go there too.

James lifted an invisible sword. ‘“Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!” Like my dad.’ Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

‘Got a problem with that?’ ‘No,’ said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. ‘If you’d rather be brawny than brainy –’

It was Snape who starts the confrontation on a personal level. James in his insults in this memory refers to moral qualities. "Who wants to be in Slytherin?" Only bad people. He is prejudiced against Slytherin because Slytherin is evil. Voldemort is gaining momentum. The first Muggle-born Minister was recently ousted. Attacks are happening here and there. Dark forces are growing. More and more of the pure-blood society talks about "Mudbloods" not belonging in this world. And "amazingly", they all turn out to be from Slytherin. James sees himself as a noble knight "James lifted an invisible sword", and he is against Slytherin not so much personally as against the moral component of Slytherin.

‘Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?’ interjected Sirius.

James roared with laughter. Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike.

Sirius immediately strikes at Snape's personality. Sirius is sharp-tongued, self-assured, and likely accustomed to considering others below himself. He probably assessed James as his equal right away. Brave, cheerful, sincere.

'Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment.'

'Oooooo...'

James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice; James tried to trip Snape as he passed.

'See ya, Snivellus!' a voice called, as the compartment door slammed...

James tried to trip Snape. James most often uses physical/magical force. He trips Snape, he pulls down Snape's trousers, he uses most of the spells on Snape in SWM. But it's Sirius who goes after Snape's personality. It looks like James has concocted a "noble justification" for his behavior and attitude and punishes Snape for existing just as he is.

Sirius, on the other hand, hardly uses magical/physical force in memories; he finds painful points in Snape's personality – from character to appearance, intentionally demeaning his personal traits.

Moreover, it was Sirius who focused on Snape's appearance. No one, except him, places such an emphasis on Snape's unattractive appearance and his untidiness.

'Snape's always been fascinated by the Dark Arts, he was famous for it at school. Slimy, oily, greasy-haired kid, he was,'

Very vivid epithets. Sirius is very eloquent when it comes to demeaning someone he dislikes.

Moreover, it's James who's the attention seeker. It's James who plays with the snitch, drawing attention, glancing at the girls by the lake, and ruffling his hair to show everyone how cool, strong, brave, and awesome he is.

After five minutes of this, Harry wondered why James didn’t tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention. Harry noticed that his father had a habit of rumpling up his hair as though to keep it from getting too tidy, and he also kept looking over at the girls by the water’s edge.

While Sirius, likely, isn't much interested in societal validation. Sirius is more reserved, with firmer boundaries, he's not as interested in public adoration as James might be.

Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so.

This is a typical expression for Sirius – bored and haughty. He spent nearly five full years in Gryffindor alongside James, and the bored and haughty expression is still with him. It's not just a random trait in his character – it's one of the pillars of his personality, reflecting his attitude towards random people around him.

‘Put that away, will you,’ said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, ‘before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.’

As I've said, Sirius cuts with his words without a knife. They've been studying together for five years, been friends with Peter, and he jokes about Peter like this. I think they all joked about each other in the same way, just James's "jokes" are blunt and probably he just says whatever comes to mind, whereas Sirius's are more subtle and hurtful.

Moreover, when people say this is the only episode we know of bullying by James and Sirius and that it's the worst in their history, that's not correct. This episode is the worst in Snape's life. And not because they pulled down his trousers. But because he lost Lily forever that day. This episode, likely, was quite typical for the Marauders. They were in a good mood, had finished exams, Snape just happened to pass by, there were no obvious reasons for this bullying. Harry sifted through their detention records, and there were many, very many, and how many more when they weren't caught?

Sirius got bored, and there they decided to "have some fun."

‘I’m bored,’ said Sirius. ‘Wish it was full moon.’ 

‘You might,’ said Lupin darkly from behind his book. ‘We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you’re bored you could test me. Here ...’ and he held out his book. 

But Sirius snorted. ‘I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.’

I won't discuss The Prank here, many have written about it. In general, Sirius doesn't show empathy in everyday interactions even with Remus. Sirius has a heart of gold, but his shell, especially as a teenager – tough, harsh, sharp, and cutting. The grown-up Sirius interacts with close people much more politely, though he still occasionally shows his harshness (for example, with Hermione).

‘This’ll liven you up, Padfoot,’ said James quietly. ‘Look who it is ...’ 

Sirius’s head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit. 

‘Excellent,’ he said softly. ‘Snivellus.’

I don't want to justify Sirius and James, but for context – Snape is fascinated by the Dark Arts, hangs out with future Death Eaters (= fascist), and they have mutual dislike from the first year. No, the act is immature, but James justifies it in his head exactly like this – Snape is bad for him, so anything goes, and anyway, "so what?" Sirius doesn't need justifications. He's just bored.

Even when James uses all the spells on Snape, he still glances at the lake:

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water’s edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.

Why look at the girls by the lake when you're humiliating someone, if you know you're doing something really bad? James genuinely sees himself as a noble knight, deserving of admiration. Moreover, many do admire him (''Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained. Several people watching laughed''), and Lupin mentioned several times that James was popular at school.

‘How’d the exam go, Snivelly?’ said James. 

‘I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,’ said Sirius viciously. ‘There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.’ 

Again, Sirius harshly targets Snape's personal traits, including his appearance.

‘You – wait,’ he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, ‘you – wait!’ 

‘Wait for what?’ said Sirius coolly. ‘What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?’ 

And again – Sirius strikes with words.

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

‘Wash out your mouth,’ said James coldly. ‘Scourgify!’

And James responds with a spell to what? Snape's insults. He says ‘Wash out your mouth.’ He appeals to the moral side of the issue.

‘I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!’

‘Apologise to Evans!’ James roared at Snape, his wand pointed  threateningly at him. ‘I don’t want you to make him apologise,’ Lily shouted, rounding on James. ‘You’re as bad as he is.’ ‘What?’ yelped James. ‘I’d NEVER call you a – you-know-what!’

This also proves that James is sure he's doing everything right. James is like a volunteer in the allies' army against the fascists, a brave Gryffindor, and his sword is to cast spells on anyone he deems not fitting his moral standards.

‘Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.’

And from the outside, it looked like this.

‘What is it with her?’ said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him. 

‘Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,’ said Sirius.

And Sirius understands it all too well. Who he is, who James is, and what Lily thinks about it all. Sirius knows about James's crush on Lily and finds it even funny that she rejects him. Likely because Sirius understands that they often cross the line. I don’t think Sirius could have stopped Potter. I don't even think Sirius wanted to stop Potter. He found it all funny. Azkaban, on the other hand, softened Sirius in his interactions with others. It knocked down his pride and arrogance. Showed him that life can be unfair and you don't need to act like a haughty jerk who thinks the world revolves around them.

At school, Sirius was more about psychological bullying, while James was about the physical. Given that James and Sirius were very popular at school and within their house, their bullying was likely directed mostly at Slytherins or at arrogant jerks like themselves who they just "didn't like."

And the adult Sirius understands that they were “arrogant little berks.” And he’s “not proud of it,” but his next words speak for themselves:

“ I think James was everything Snape wanted to be – he was popular, he was good at Quidditch – good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts, and James – whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry – always hated the Dark Arts.”

Sirius justifies James while simultaneously praising him. Justifications always imply a partial denial of guilt. Someone fully aware of their guilt doesn’t seek to justify or be justified. Of course, Sirius said this for Harry's sake too. To ensure Harry didn’t think his father was just a bully for no reason. His father was actually “on the side of good,” is what Sirius wants to convey. About himself, he remains silent. But he doesn't miss the chance to insult Snape again “little oddball.”

Even Remus, as an adult, sincerely justifies James.

‘She started going out with him in seventh year,’ said Lupin. 

‘Once James had deflated his head a bit,’ said Sirius. ‘And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it,’ said Lupin.

 ‘Even Snape?’ said Harry. ‘Well,’ said Lupin slowly, ‘Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?’ 

‘And my mum was OK with that?’ 

‘She didn’t know too much about it, to tell you the truth,’ said Sirius. ‘I mean, James didn’t take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?’

Lupin finds a genuine justification for James. The concept of “violence in any form is bad” isn’t fully grasped by them. They follow an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Lupin even was ready to kill Peter, and he insisted that war is not a playground and that killing is sometimes necessary in war. Remus, though gentler and kinder, and preferring not to engage in conflict, genuinely wished Sirius and James hadn't bullied anyone at school, but yet, he still reconciles with all they do and even justifies James.

In Sirius's mind, James may have acted like a fool, but Sirius doesn’t genuinely condemn it. He just thinks they were too arrogant. And Sirius’s behavior after Azkaban (how he became gentler with others) indicates he truly realized – you don't need to belittle everyone you dislike or even like. Yet, Sirius’s harshness, even after Azkaban, didn’t disappear; it was just redirected towards what he genuinely hates.

‘Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons ... you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me –’ 

Black made a derisive noise. 

‘It served him right,’ he sneered. ‘Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to ... hoping he could get us expelled ...’

Remus's reactions are much softer, but Sirius’s reaction, even years later, is harsh and even a bit cruel. ‘It served him right.’ Because it's an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

However, Sirius’s harshness still occasionally breaks through even towards his close ones when he slightly loses control over himself after Azkaban.

‘You’re less like your father than I thought,’ he said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. ‘The risk would’ve been what made it fun for James.’ 

‘Well, I’d better get going, I can hear Kreacher coming down the stairs,’ said Sirius, but Harry was sure he was lying. ‘I’ll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?’

Sirius calls themselves “arrogant little berks,” but the peculiarity of Sirius’s arrogance is that it's due to his personal qualities, not external “glamour”.

 ‘I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter – I’ll never understand why I didn’t see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who’d look after you, didn’t you?’

He despises Peter for groveling, for weakness, for the same reasons he despises Regulus, considering him a soft idiot. Sirius’s arrogance was never built on finances or blood purity, on popularity, on playing Quidditch, not on his name, although the family dynamics undoubtedly influenced his pride. But overall, his arrogance is of a different level – that of a rebellious spirit, a very strong person, not like the Malfoys. Lucius Malfoy is intentionally depicted as the complete opposite of Sirius Black (in character – the most rebellious of their pure-blood circle and the most sycophantic, and in appearance – black and white).

Sirius and Kreacher's story demonstrates that Sirius does not forgive those he hated and can carry hatred through the years. People usually soften over time, but Sirius has an excuse – Azkaban. Nonetheless, the behavioral pattern remains unchanged. Azkaban does not change the essence of people, it makes certain traits more vivid and pronounced. Sirius became calmer towards the people around him who help fight against evil, he toned down his arrogance and pride (even towards Snape, he no longer hurls insults first, it’s Snape who insults Sirius first), but Sirius became even harsher towards those he hates.

‘Sirius was horrible to Kreacher, Harry, and it’s no good looking like that, you know it’s true. I’ve said all along that wizards would pay for how they treat house-elves. Well, Voldemort did ... and so did Sirius.’

Harry had no retort. As he watched Kreacher sobbing on the floor, he remembered what Dumbledore had said to him, mere hours after Sirius’s death: I do not think Sirius ever saw Kreacher as a being with feelings as acute as a human’s ...

And he himself demonstrates this repeatedly:

At which Sirius, ignoring Hermione’s protests, seized Kreacher by the back of his loincloth and threw him bodily from the room.

Dumbledore believes Sirius showed cruelty to Kreacher through his indifference and neglect. That is, Sirius could shut off his empathy towards a being, despite generally being friendly towards house-elves.

‘He (Sirius) regarded him (Kreacher) as a servant unworthy of much interest or notice. Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike… Sirius was not a cruel man, he was kind to house-elves in general. He had no love for Kreacher, because Kreacher was a living reminder of the home Sirius had hated.’

Sirius was not evil. But the neglect emanating from him was very cruel, harsh, and cold. Sirius can shut away all the good within him towards anyone he despised – “And whatever Kreacher’s faults, it must be admitted that Sirius did nothing to make Kreacher’s lot easier –”

‘– comes back from Azkaban ordering Kreacher around, oh, my poor mistress, what would she say if she saw the house now, scum living in it, her treasures thrown out, she swore he was no son of hers and he’s back, they say he’s a murderer too –’

‘Keep muttering and I will be a murderer!’ said Sirius irritably as he slammed the door shut on the elf.

However, Sirius likely never killed anyone, even while serving in the "Order."

Regarding his family and even Regulus, Sirius is also harsh. Even if he, like any child, deep down loved his family, it doesn’t matter because his real words and actions are very harsh and aimed at severing ties. The possible love for them deep down only further highlights his harshness and readiness for confrontation.

“I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal ... my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them”

Likely, he’s ashamed of them, and his hatred also builds a wall between them and himself.

‘Does it matter if she’s my cousin?’ snapped Sirius. ‘As far as I’m concerned, they’re not my family. She’s certainly not my family. I haven’t seen her since I was your age, unless you count a glimpse of her coming into Azkaban. D’you think I’m proud of having a relative like her?’

And at the same time Dumbledore about James:

‘I knew your father very well, both at Hogwarts and later, Harry,’ he said gently. ‘He would have saved Pettigrew too, I am sure of it.’

I don’t know how true this is (though likely, the author speaks through Dumbledore here), but considering that Harry himself is a character whose main traits include the ability to understand and forgive others, perhaps James had this to some extent too. But Sirius lacks the ability to forgive, and this is deliberately shown in the book – that he suffered precisely because of his excessive harshness.

In conclusion, Sirius's harshness and toughness is not just teenage arrogance; it's directly a trait of his personality, something that cannot be overlooked when talking about the canonical Sirius, not his sugar-coated substitute in fandom. Sirius had to grow up very early, and all this left its mark on him.

Of all the Marauders, only Sirius is really harsh and can be truly dangerous.

But Sirius was not cruel in a moral-ethical sense, or more precisely – ideologically. There's no reason to believe Sirius is constantly drawn to the dark side or that he's amoral. His constant fight against his family suggests instead that he formed high ideals within himself. No, Sirius is not amoral; he has difficulty with empathy (especially in childhood), a tendency towards aggression and cruelty (mostly in childhood, he controls himself quite well as an adult. Well, for Sirius Black quite well), arrogance, but he very well understands what is right and what is wrong.

‘She’s got the measure of Crouch better than you have, Ron. If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.’