#pt 2 will be him throwing hands with reader probably | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lovscb97 · 7 months ago

Text

tags: nerd!chan x cheerleader!fem!reader, angst angst angst, mentions of jealousy and self doubt, inner turmoil on y/n’s side (forgive my girl she’s trying her best), mentions of other idols (enhypen, aespa, stayc, etc), alcohol usage, more angst…, slight inclusion of depressive feelings and thoughts, confrontation, arguments, confessions, kissing, fluff, brief grinding/dry humping, oral (m. receiving), brief throat fucking, car sex, mentions of virginity loss, unprotected sex (plz don’t i beg), creampie, just sweet lovemaking, use of nicknames (baby, channie, pretty girl, etc), chan being a sweetheart (when is he not), etc

wc: 15.76k

add. notes: it is finally here!!! the long awaited pt. 2 of nerd!chan!!! thank u guys so much once more for all the love u gave to the first part i did Not expect it to gain that much traction to the point u guys wanted me to expand on the universe of it but i am grateful nonetheless <3 i’m also very sorry it took so long i just could not bring myself to write the whole thing in one sitting as it is decently long so thank u sm for waiting as well.. this fic is honestly my baby n while it was very frustrating to work on at times, i hope u all enjoy it n will give it lots of love for me :]

nerd!chan pt. 1 / nerd!chan headcannons / drabble #1

. . .

it’s been a few days since you last saw chan after your “encounter” in the locker room. granted how that might be primarily because you’ve been avoiding him like the plague ever since, but you suppose he also hasn’t done much to try and meet you. you’re not even sure why you’re doing this, and if you’re being honest, some part of it leaves a sense of dread lingering at the back of your mind, your thoughts swirling with what if’s that consist of wondering if he’s finally had enough after the way you walked out on him the previous time you guys were, err.. entangled, to say the least. but, you know; you know you’re not at liberty to feel this way, not when you’re the one who’s imposed these rules on yourself and whatever means of a relationship you’ve both got going on. it’s not your right to police how chan acts around you after you constantly push him away. you think it probably never was to begin with.

regardless of the consequences that you’ve reaped, you decided to forego the situation you’re stuck in and throw yourself into the one solution that always seems to find you when you’re rock bottom in the barrel— alcohol. your cheer girls had tried dragging you out once more to another party thrown by some guy called jake, and initially you’d declined, far too stuck in your own negativity to even consider going out and letting loose at this point, but karina insisted on you tagging along, practically yanking you to you guys’ shared dorm room and dolling you up in the cutest outfit possible that had even your low spirits lifting.

that is, until now.

you’d both arrived to the occasion half an hour prior to the incident, your friend basically pulling you in behind her and forcing you to socialise with people she knew even if all you contributed to the discussion was a small smile and greeting. however, at some point, you lose sight of her. it doesn’t alarm you much considering karina goes around on her own to do her thing a lot, so assuming she must be busy chatting it up with some guy, you shrug and make your way towards the kitchen to fix yourself a drink. and it’s when you’re in the middle of tossing back the red solo cup filled with bitter liquid and letting it burn as it goes down your throat, wincing despite the tinge of sweetness to it when it happens, no less when you see it—

chan.

but, not just chan, no no.

chan with another girl.

it’s immediate the way your hand which is gripping the beverage in it tightens on instinct, and you feel a surge of emotion wash over you that you can’t identify, or rather you don’t want to identify it. arrays of questions swirl in your mind at the sight in front of you, ranging from ‘what is he doing here after claiming he hates parties?’ to ‘did they come together?’. the last of your queries almost makes you want to throw up, the plausibility that chan was invited here by another woman leaving bile forming at the back of your throat. still, you pause momentarily to consider the possibility that this is a mere coincidence, that you’re just misunderstanding the scene playing out in front of you and that this is all a big joke and chan is going to turn around to leave at any point now.

but, then your eyes land on the way she caresses his arm, batting her eyelashes up at him and watching the way her actions cause his ears to tint red, the very same ears you’ve been responsible for making blush every occasion that you find yourselves together. and suddenly, it’s like everything in your world is spinning. the floor seems to be moving, the music fading out and everyone passing around becomes a blur, because your only focus is on chan.

your chan. your chan who isn’t yours.

it’s like he senses you looking at him too, because he stops mid-sentence out of the blue and turns his head in your direction, leaving your gazes to lock with each other’s. it has his eyes widening, and you don’t know whether that’s from simply seeing you or seeing the fact that you’re standing in the middle of the kitchen alone with trembling hands you hadn’t even noticed were shaking. you try so desperately to look away, to avert your stare from his brown orbs that seem to be swirling with something you can’t quite put your finger on, but it doesn’t work. he’s so.. captivating, dressed in casual clothes and his signature glasses that remain perched on the tip of his nose, the same nose you’ve kissed so many times in your heated state of affairs. you’ve always known chan is beautiful, though you’ve never admitted it, but something about today solidifies it in your mind even more, makes him look ever so mesmerising, ever so alluring, and ever so.. distant.

you feel like someone has dumped a cold bucket of water on top of your head when the last word resonates in your mind, and you somehow rip your eyes off of the boy standing across the room to avoid impulsively doing something you might regret, instead opting to go look for your friends. a cacophony of taunts torment your brain as you busy yourself in the futile task, varying from insults thrown against you for being so stupid to think this could ever work out to questions about why you’re doing this even if you don’t know the response to them, or rather you do but don’t want to answer them. you don’t know whether chan is still looking at or for you, and some sick, twisted part of you wishes he is, wishes that he’s so wrecked by the idea that he’s hurt you even though you have no right to feel that way.

allowing yourself one last glance to where he was previously situated to satisfy the lingering emotions inside, you turn around, confused when you don’t find him there until a loud voice calls out for him throughout the booming of the music in the room, making your head snap in its direction. it belongs to who you presume is his friend, changbin or whatever you recall from a study session turned to a late night conversation chan had initiated to get to know you better. he’s yelling something incoherent that you can’t make out through the noise levels of the house, and you’re about to shake your head and resume your previous activity when you notice chan being dragged onto the dance floor, no less by the girl who you’d found talking to him.

your heart instantly sinks into your chest at the picture in front of you, burning against your ribcage as the pounding in your head increases by the minute. chan’s smile is radiant, spread wide across his face as he tries to awkwardly mimic the gestures being made by everyone around him. if you were in a different predicament, you would’ve found it endearing regardless of whether you would’ve let yourself relish in that realisation or not internally, but right now, all you can focus on is the fact that it’s not you. it’s not you who’s making him laugh so bright, it’s not you who’s dragging your hands across his to place them on your waist, and it’s not you who’s captivated his attention in the moment, even if you so desperately wish it was.

“y/n?”

a voice drags you out of your mind, and you shake your head to find karina looking at you in worry, her hand coming up to gently place itself on your shoulder. she questions if you’re okay a second later, and you muster up a smile the best you can and nod, despite the churning in your stomach only growing worse at the existence of what you’d just witnessed a few meters away from you. “what’s up?” you decide to ask your friend instead, sensing the way she doesn’t seem to buy your response reassuring her you’re fine, but even so, she decides not to push you, instead pursing her lips and pointing her thumb behind her.

“heeseung and his friends are going to play a round of beer pong. wanna join them?” the last thing you want to do is indulge with other people, instead wishing you were cooped up under your blanket to wallow in your self misery all alone, but the way karina looks back at you with distress in her eyes, her pretty face contorted in concern for you only pushes you to put up a front, not wanting to alarm her any further. “yeah, let’s go. i wanna get wasted.” you grin with everything in you, and it seems to be enough with the way your friend beams back at you, taking your hand in hers before whisking you away to wherever the game is taking place. you still cast one last glance back behind your shoulder before she drags you away though, hoping to catch sight of chan once more, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

you think maybe that’s best for now.

. . .

it’s one in the afternoon when you wake up the next day, a dull throbbing present in your head as you clutch it with one hand, groggy eyes attempting to adjust to the light streaming through the barely drawn curtains of your dorm room. you slowly sit up and lean back against the pillow underneath that’s probably caught remnants of your makeup on it after last night, especially considering the fact that you hadn’t even bothered taking off the outfit you wore yesterday before crashing out in bed. giving yourself some time to get used to your every day surroundings, you take a peek over to the other side, noticing karina’s bed to be empty. she’d probably gone for classes, you think to yourself, cursing when you realise you had most definitely missed your own.

grabbing your phone off the nightstand, you unlock it, ready to shoot a text to your friends asking for any notes they’d taken in the lecture, only to find the messaging app already open. you scroll through your group chats in confusion, flicking through the several photos or videos people had taken and shared in hopes of remembering why you’d even left off on this. it wasn’t like you’d sent any embarrassing messages in them, the only evidence of your own responses being from two days ago. you try rack your brain for the last possible memory of last night, recalling yourself stumbling through the door and into bed, drinking with sieun and sunghoon during the game before that, and then opening your phone to record drunken voice notes to send to—

oh fuck.

“no, no, no, no, no, please.” you mumble to yourself in panic, eyes widening with horror as you frantically swipe out of the group chat threads and check your last sent texts. you flick furiously through the notifications in your phone, trying to find the one chat you’re looking for until the name you’re searching pops up. you close your eyes, covering your screen to try and calm down your nerves, praying to whatever entity is up there that your memory is mistaken and that you indeed did not do what you think you did. after a short minute, you take a deep breath, cracking your vision open as your fingers twitch. you hesitantly move your thumb that’s blocking your desired end goal out of the way to take a look at last, and—

“shit!” you swear with a yell, tossing your phone aside in favour of cupping your face in your hands and screaming into them out of frustration. you hadn’t even bothered to listen to the voice notes knowing they’d just consist of spewed gibberish the same as the texts, and ultimately what makes this entire ordeal all the more worse is chan’s lack of a reply. rather, he’d left you on seen, the realisation of it dawning on you as you flop back in bed and roll to the side to curl yourself up into a ball as if it’d provide some sort of comfort, mindless thoughts rushing into your brain at the very same.

what does chan think of you now? what did he think of you when he got those texts? was he annoyed? did he want to cut you off forever and finally drop you for good? maybe he laughed about your pathetic attempts to gain back his attention with the girl you’d seen him with yesterday. the idea only makes you want to throw up, although you can’t tell if it’s because of that or your splitting hangover. so, in an effort to drown in your self pity anyways, you yank the covers of your blanket over your head, trying to lull yourself back to sleep now that you’ve already missed out on your attendance.

unfortunately, your attempts don’t last long, the device you’d flung to the edge of your bed ringing with your roommate’s call shortly after in which she scolds you for still not having woken up. you bite back the answer that threatens to escape you when she proceeds to go on a tangent on how this is probably because you’ve been looking so dull lately, not having it in yourself to open up to your closest friend about the fact that you’ve secretly suppressed all your innermost feelings about somebody outside your social circe in fear they’d rise to the surface and force you to do things you’d never do sober.

karina eventually ends her rant with urging you to come to the building at least to meet up for lunch, convincing you in your very much hungover state that you need something in your stomach, to which you begrudgingly agree. dragging yourself out of bed to put on some simple clothes and trudging outside the door in all your miserable glory is a task in itself, but you manage somehow. you can’t help but grumble to yourself as you parade the halls of the student accommodation with only one goal in mind— avoid chan at all cost.

fate, however, is not on your side, it seems.

because the minute you step out and about underneath the midday sun, your eyes fixated on the cobblestone path underneath your feet which leads to the university buildings located right outside the student housing, you stop dead in your tracks, stumbling upon a certain scene—

the certain scene in question being chan with his very same arm candy from yesterday.

your breath hitches in your throat at the sight, and it’s like you’re glued to the ground, unmoving as if you’ve turned static and become bound to the floor. chan doesn’t seem to have noticed you yet from your spot that’s metres away from him, too busy focusing on conversing with the girl to even look up and catch his surroundings. you wonder if that’s because she’s his girlfriend, or someone he’s interested in given the fact that he seems so engaged with her and how you’ve caught them together so many times by now (twice, actually, but in your head it seems like a much bigger number), and in all honesty, that just makes everything all the more worse.

you don’t even understand why you’re so upset about this. you wanted chan to not cling to you, or a better way of putting it instead is that you weren’t ready for him to do so. you wanted to save him the heartbreak that would come from becoming entangled with you, warning him right at the start implicitly in the way you ran from him that you weren’t going to share anything deeper than whatever you guys had. in some twisted way, you think maybe that was your idea of trying to be a good person when you knew you weren’t. even so, the fact that he could become attached to you alongside your lack of an ability to commit to you guys’ messed up relationship was terrifying. you were aware it would leave him hurt in the end, alone and stuck onto you, and that scared you in ways you’d never been.

it also scared you to think chan might see something more in you, might find something worth sticking around for; that in turn, he’d manage to change the perspective you have of yourself due to the fact that he was so.. so good. too good, maybe. because the crux of it all is that you two are from such different worlds, with different needs and different lives that just so happened to become mingled amongst each other. you found him by chance encounter, not having even known his name a few months back, and now you’re here, shamelessly tormented by the fact that the boy you didn’t want to hurt is unknowingly hurting you despite the fact that you have no right to be hurt by him. you knew from the start mixing up with someone like him didn’t make sense. it never would make sense. you’d always thought that these circumstances would be the cause of chan’s own downfall, that he was just running in a losing race.

oh, how the tables have turned, you think.

“see you around, channie.” you hear from the corner, the voice snapping you out of your inner dilemma in mere moments as you come to realise it belongs to ‘that’ girl. you think your heart rate physically spikes when you watch the way she winks at him, gently touching chan’s arm before brushing past him to walk away. part of you feels relieved that she’s gone, but another part of you can’t ignore how your stomach swirls in disgust at the way she behaves around him, or rather the way it flusters him in return. you don’t miss the burning red of chan’s ears or how he shakes his head to try recover out of it, especially not because of how it makes you feel disgusted. it’s so much so that in the midst of everything, you don’t even realise his head is springing up in your direction until his eyes are locked with yours once more, just like the night before.

white, coarse shock flashes through you, and you’d think your frozen body would finally listen when you see chan making his way over to you. instead, you stand there like an idiot, akin to a kicked puppy even with the way you’re sure your emotions are written clear as day on you. it’s only by the time that he’s almost face to face with you, an unreadable expressing playing on his face and the proximity of your bodies sending you reeling that you feel like you regain control over yourself, not daring to waste another second before you’re turning around on your heel and stepping away.

chan’s voice calls out for you in instant at your actions, and you desperately try to ignore the way your name sounds falling from his lips, swallowing a lump down in your throat that threatens to break the dam nearing explosion. it’s only when you hear his footsteps speed up and a warm hand grab your arm that you stop in place for what feels like the nth time this week, feeling like you can’t go on any further. you’re so tired of running, of detaching yourself from the situation and moving out of the picture that something in you just feels so defeated. so, you slowly turn around to meet his gaze again, heaving a breath that you don’t intend to come out of your mouth at the way he’s looking at you.

“sorry. um,” chan sighs, clearing his throat as he pushes back his glasses which are sliding off his nose. “hi?” he starts, not sure where to begin. you can tell he’s tense with the way he’s fiddling with his fingers and slightly tapping his sneaker clad foot, and you wish you could ease his nerves despite the fact that you’re equally as nervous, wishing you didn’t have to face him at all today, much less so soon. “i just, uh.. wanted to ask how you are.”

“‘m good.” you respond meekly, eyes falling on your feet, or the bushes, or the speck of dirt on the floor, or just fucking anywhere that wasn’t chan’s tender gaze which makes you feel messy and confusing feelings. “how are you?” you weakly offer, risking a glance at him as he nods and says the same, which only makes you feel like your heart is about to burst with the way he’s so concentrated on your face. his expression is still unreadable, and you’re not sure what’s burning through his mind right now, although if you had to take a wild guess, you’d think he’s probably wondering how the fuck he’s supposed to bring up your stupid behaviour, and it’s much to your dismay that your suspicions are confirmed with his next sentence.

“listen, i—“

“please ignore what happened. i was drunk, and it didn’t mean anything.” you quickly blurt out, cutting him off before he can say what he was going to. you’re not even sure if he was going to bring it up because you don’t give him the opportunity to do so in fear it’ll mortify you further than you already are, so much so that you don’t seem to notice the way the look in his eyes falls, that slight glimmer of hope dying down just as soon as it had appeared. “you can just leave it be, honestly.” you add on, the next words on your tongue slipping before you can stop them.

“i’m sure your girlfriend will be happier if you do that.”

it’s venomous, the tone that you speak in, sounding bitter and hurt despite the fact that you know you’re being petty. chan just blinks at you in return, opening his mouth, closing it and then opening it again as if he’s trying to find the right words to say. he doesn’t really know what to say, not when you’ve given him so much to process in so little time. “y/n,” he eventually lets out, and you have to physically shut your eyes to compose yourself from the way he sounds so soft as he addresses you. when you open them, he’s deep in thought, stare fixated on the space between your shoulder as if it’ll help him come up with an adequate response to this fucked up situation.

“i don’t think i should move past it.” chan swallows, his voice slightly trembling if you strain to hear it. something in you burns when you realise he doesn’t even bother to correct you about calling the previous woman you’d seen him with his girlfriend, and now you’re left wondering if there really is something deeper brewing between them. your stomach plummets at the potential, so much so that you can feel hints of irrational anger rising to the surface in you, and before you know it, you’re seeing red. “what the fuck does that even mean?” you spit out in your mild fit of rage that’s just begun, and chan’s eyes widen at you use of words.

“i-i mean, you’ve been avoiding me this whole time, and i just wanna know if it was something i did from last time, or if—“

“god, you just don’t know when to quit, do you?” you continue to snap, trying desperately to ignore the fresh sting of tears threatening to leak. you know this isn’t what you want to say, your heart speaking something different that it’s been trying to tell you for ages now, but the phrases tumbling out of your mouth are anything but the truth that yearns to be shared with probably the one person who would choose to understand and listen to it.

“this was nothing to begin with, and it never will be, chan. i said what i said ‘cause i was wasted out of my mind, it doesn’t mean jackshit. so, you can go ahead and do whatever the hell you want, and i’ll do the same.”

you don’t even realise the gravity of your words until you’re done, finally meeting chan’s gaze which only makes you want to let out the sob you’ve been holding back this entire time. instant regret floods your system at the way his shoulders slump and eyes appear emotionless, and before you can think to take it back, to tell him how everything you just said is a lie and that you’ve been trying to ignore whatever you feel towards him all this while, he flashes you a smile. it’s small, and you can tell it hides unspoken emotion in it, but you don’t question nor point it out, too stunned to even process it.

“i understand. i’ll leave you be from now on.” chan says quietly, his voice broken and dull. the lump in your throat sits at the back, ever so present and persistent as you try to swallow it away whilst watching his defeated frame turn around and walk off in the opposite direction. a desire deep inside of you itches to scream after him, to run over and yank him into your arms at last, but your pride overshadows it. you know you’ve done what you need to, your mind trying to convince you of the very fact because this is what’s best for you; it’s best for you to not continue mixing with chan in order to stop hurting both him and yourself, although it seems it’s too late for that by now.

moreover, even with that previous acceptance, you still feel uneasy, like something in you remains unresolved. part of you knows exactly what the truth is, but you refuse to acknowledge it. you think you’ll never know when or if the time for you to do so will ever come. so, with a heavy heart and so many unsaid thoughts, you turn around and trudge your way back to the dorms, shooting karina a quick text about feeing under the weather to eat before getting beneath your covers to lay down. a million thoughts buzz in your head as you try to sleep, desperately wanting to evade reality, yet your efforts do little to satiate the noises in your mind.

it’s only when you feel the fresh roll of a single tear against your cheek that you truly come to understand just what’s happened. you know you’ve pushed chan away for the millionth time by now, yet something about this instance feels different. maybe it’s the fact that you stuck around to see the pain in his eyes, or maybe it’s how he still tried to reach out to you despite your avoidance of him. maybe it’s even the way he’s finally found someone who probably loves him the way he deserves to be— openly, something you could never dare to give him despite your blatantly obvious jealousy. your very admissions make the weight in your heart heavier, the knowledge that you’re jealous, that you’ve been jealous this entire time only solidifying the fact that you care. you care so fucking much to the point it’s been eating you alive, and that’s all it takes for you to break before you’re full on crying, body shaking as you cover your face in your hands. one lone thought remains in your mind in the midst of your tears, the thought that chan may have not been yours to begin with, but now?

now, he’s definitely never going to be.

. . .

“l/n, what’s the matter with you today? keep up, you’re falling behind!” your coach’s frustrated voice cuts through the evening air once more as you squint, the stadium lights behind her highlighting her form that’s menacingly staring at you with hands on her hips. a loud sigh leaves your lips, causing you to clutch the plastic of your cheer tassels tightly in your hand as you try and ignore the stares coming from your girls. this is probably the fifth time you’ve messed up the routine for everyone today, an event highly unlikely for you in normal occurrences, but after having spent a few days since.. that, you can’t seem to get into the zone and focus on anything anymore.

practise drones on for another hour, filled with more groans and scolding from your instructor directed your way in specific until she finally gives up and dismisses everyone for the day. she grumbles something about how you guys should just come back tomorrow in the morning prior to the game instead and stomps off to her office, leaving you with a pit in your stomach because you know this is all because of you. there’s silence that lingers in the atmosphere once she’s gone, and no one dares to speak up, instead opting to stare at you through stolen glances as you heave a breathe. tossing your equipment aside, you move to go fill up some water, chugging it down in hopes that quenching your thirst will get you to snap out of the haziness that’s currently fogging your mind.

“hey.” a voice greets you from behind, and you whip your head back to find yunjin and giselle standing there. crumpling the paper cup in your hands, you fling it into the nearby bin, mustering up a smile as you nod at them which pushes giselle to bite the gun. “you okay? you seem kind of.. off today.” she questions in worry, causing you to shrug.

“yeah, sorry. i’ve just got a lot on my mind, i guess.” you huff out a laugh, although there’s nothing but annoyance laced in your tone. your teammates exchange looks between them at your words, and yunjin steps forward to place a hand on your shoulder. “we get it, the big game is nerve-wracking for us too.” you hum, her voice offering the same encouraging dialogue to you droning out in your head as reality fades away and your inner monologue with yourself begins once more.

what was the actual point of all of this anymore? were you even in it for the long haul? did you really want to continue giving it your all even after knowing you’ve lost something that means so much to you? you realise belatedly now that everything around you has become superficial, and that none of it seems to matter in the grand scheme of things except for.. well, him. even the concept of going to parties, getting wasted, missing classes, being on a team with the rest of the girls, it all feels endlessly futile now. that’s not to say you haven’t had fun this entire time, but something in you feels like it’s finally come to terms with what’s surrounding you. the ringing in your ears only gets louder by the minute as you try to will it away, and it genuinely seems like the alarms in you have finally woken up after months of staying dormant.

“sorry, yun, but i have to go. i’ll see you two later.” you mumble, and before either of them can protest, you’re turning around and walking off, the evening’s cool air following you closely behind.

you don’t even say hi to karina when you reach your dorm room, ignoring her greeting as you toss your shoes to the side, but she seems to pick up on what’s going on after seeing the longing look in your eyes. she doesn’t question it either when you lock yourself in the bathroom, simply going back to reading her book as if nothing had happened, and you’re honestly grateful for that realisation when you start the water. once the tub is all filled up, you strip down naked and dip your body in, closing your eyes at the warm sensation which envelops you after slipping in.

even still, the hug your bath seems to wrap you up in doesn’t take away from the heaviness of the day that continues to wear you down, almost like what happened over the course of this week is dragging your tense muscles with it. your chest still feels tight and the voices in your head remain muffled, like they’re being deafened by white noise that hasn’t stopped increasing in pitch ever since you came to terms with how you’re feeling. how you’re feeling. you swallow at that.

it feels like hours pass by the time you finally heave your soaking wet limbs out, bundling yourself up in a towel to dry yourself off before creaking the door open. when you step out, you notice karina’s side of the room to be empty, checking your phone to see if she’d messaged you, only to find texts from her saying she’d gone down to the dining hall with her classmates. you shoot her a quick reply back, adding some obscure emoji so she knows not to worry too much and then proceed to flop down on your own bed, frowning when you feel the still remaining dampness of your hair hit the pillow.

your eyes drift to your device which illuminates in the darkness of the room again, fingers moving to grab it as you unlock it only to flick through the rows of messages flooding in from group chats you don’t even know why you’re part of in the first place. some part of you feels empty upon eyeing them, watching the way everyone buzzes in excitement about the game tomorrow knowing you feel far from how they do. rather, it’s the opposite, some sort of twisted sensation washing over you as you scroll past all your notifications only to land on a particular chat.

“fuck.” you mutter to yourself, groaning whilst your eyes rake over chan’s contact name. you press on the profile photo hesitantly, biting your lip as it enlarges to give you a better look at what picture you’ve set for him; the picture you took of him.

you still remember it vividly— the both of you had gone down to the convenience store to grab a quick study snack, only to end up chatting over long gone cold ramen for hours on no end up until the point it had turned dark outside. you’d brushed off the dirt on your jeans after getting up from the stairs you two had sat on, turning around to face chan who was also about to stand but stopped at your request for him to pose for the camera. he’d gone red in the face when you teased him about how good he’d looked after snapping some photos of him, nervously scratching the back of his neck as he brushed off your compliment despite his giggles.

you’d been so busy pointing out the details of the photo that you hadn’t even noticed the way he’d laced his hand in yours, his palm soft against your cooler skin which caused the insides of your stomach to leap in a weird way. you’d ignored it of course, letting him enjoy his moment seeing as no one was around to catch you both anyways, but the blooming contentment you’d felt in your body remained until he’d walked you back to your dorm room, shyly flashing you a smile before placing a small kiss on your forehead. you rode out on that high for the next few days without even knowing it.

it’s only when your screen becomes wet with a few drops of your tears that you snap out of the memories, realising you’re crying once more. you use the back of your sleeve to wipe at your face, sniffling slightly all while trying to hold back the emotions that threaten to escape you yet again after having bottled them up for days now. your previous texts with chan stare back in your eyes as a sore reminder of everything, and you can’t help but scroll through them, reading back the silly messages you’d exchanged which only make you want to wallow in self pity even more.

was chan thinking of you the way you were of him? was he cooped up and unable to progress with his day because he was still hung up on how things had ended? did he care? did he.. ever care? did he care half as much as you did right now?

he did.

you realise belatedly that he cared, cared so much that maybe it was even more than you do right now or ever could and will. chan cared for you so deeply, so passionately in a way nobody else had the capability to do so in your entire life. he replaced the love you lacked growing up with his boyish charms and soft spoken personality, and he was willing to give up parts of him for your sake so as long as it meant you were happy.

he cared. he had cared.

he’d cared so fucking much and you’d thrown it away like it was nothing.

before you can even process your next actions, your thumb presses on the call icon next to chan’s profile. the ring goes out immediately, his nickname and photo appearing on your screen once more as you wait with bated breath. you don’t even know what you’re doing right now, you don’t think you ever have known to be honest when it comes to chan, but some irrational, impulsive part of you feels like it’s taken over, yearning to satiate the desires you’ve ignored for a long time now.

beep. beep. beep.

please pick up. please don’t pick up. please pick up. please don’t pick up. please—

“the number you have dialled is..“

it’s immediate the way you click off the call, bottom lip wobbling once you’re sure there’s no way anyone can hear as all your pent up frustration comes crashing down on you in an instant. a beat of silence passes as you exhale a shaky breath, which seems to be the beginning of the floodgates opening because by the time the air even leaves your mouth, you’re choking back a sob, much like you have been for these past few days. your heart tightens in a way that makes you extremely uncomfortable, and your hands shake as you try embrace yourself by hugging your knees to your chest so you can bury your face in them.

chan hadn’t picked up. he hadn’t picked up unlike all the previous times you’ve asked him to come over in the dead of the night to meet up with you just so you two can make out in the backseat of his car. he hadn’t picked up unlike all the previous times you’ve texted wishing to facetime with him because you’re bored of trying to do your assignments. he hadn’t picked up unlike all the previous times you’ve wanted him to let you know to ring you up once he’s arrived home safe after having driven you back to your dorm.

he hadn’t picked up unlike all the previous times because he was gone from your life once and for all.

. . .

the next morning arrives far too soon for your liking, and it takes everything within you to drag your body out of the solace of your bed which currently seems to be the only thing providing you any semblance of comfort in your dull times. you do your best to make small talk with karina as you both get ready for the game, your roommate chatting your ear off about something mundane and irrelevant that you suspect is her way of filling the uncomfortable air lingering around you that she’s picked up on. you’re grateful for her trying to compensate for your lack of a response, but even with karina’s support, your soul feels extremely hollow and devoid of any meaning still. you hum and offer simple quips to her regardless of your mind screaming at you to go non-verbal, and before you know it, you’re both out of the door with you dressed up in your cheer uniform despite not feeling the slightest bit prepared to tackle what the day is about to bring.

by the time you both reach the stadium, everyone has already filled out the majority of the seats, the loud buzz of excitement resonating through the surroundings as you rake your eyes over the large turnout. karina flashes you a smile before giving you a quick hug, assuring you that you’ll do great and disappearing into the crowd to find her own spot to sit down. you want to believe her words, you truly do, but all your mind is fixated on right now is how sheerly empty you feel, your thoughts still drowning you in negativity with the way they haven’t shut up since last night, or maybe even for the past few weeks if you’re being honest. despite whatever emotions and jitters you’re feeling though, you try shrug it off, breathing in deeply before making your way over to where the rest of your team has gathered.

it’s the same speech that you’re met with when you finally stand around the huddle that everyone has formed in, their bright grins and your coach’s encouraging ment making you feel guilty for not being as fully into this as everybody else is. despite the drawbacks, you beam anyways, participating in the pre-show ritual of putting your hands into the centre and laughing alongside your girls. you all separate eventually and stand in your positions, and it doesn’t take long before the event begins and you’re all starting the crowd off with the all too familiar chant of your university’s slogan that everybody joins in on.

the game begins and generally progresses with no major hiccups, and in the end, you do manage to pull off the routine you’ve practised multiple times seamlessly without any issues. your limbs burn, and your voice is hoarse by the time the band takes over, but you try your best to maintain your outgoing nature despite the inner turmoil that’s been brewing inside you for a while now. nonetheless, before you know it, halftime is over and both teams are on the brink of a match point stopping them from taking victory. everybody watches with their nerves at a full time high, and for a moment, your thoughts seem to fade as you focus on keeping the gathering of people upbeat and motivated to encourage the players, but it’s short-lived after the star player manages to score the winning goal once and for all.

upon the realisation that your team has won, everyone erupts in loud celebration and applause, some even standing from their seat to make their way down and join in on the crowd of players who have formed around the one who threw the last shot. your girls and coach all yell in joy, a few of them hugging each other after a successfully executed performance which leaves them jumping up and down. you stay to watch from the sidelines, happy for your team’s hard efforts despite your still heavy shoulders dragging you down from getting into the spirit. some of the girls try and grab you by the hand to bring you into the hug, but you politely decline, saying you need to catch your breath for a second as some meaningless excuse to avoid having to be surrounded by a large group of people for too long.

observing everyone feels bittersweet. you want to be as pumped up as everybody else is, want to join in and ride on the high of having tackled what was quite possibly the biggest, most important match of the season, but a part of you holds back. no matter how much you try drag yourself out of your low spirits, you can’t succeed, instead feeling the need to chew on your bottom lip with your rising inability to hide your emotions as you stand in the middle of the ground alone. you don’t know where karina’s sauntered of to after the news of today's game outcome, and you’re not even sure where the rest of the team is heading to now; you assume it’s to some nearby diner for further commemoration. everything in you remains the same, numb and drained of any potential happiness that could’ve been because of what you’ve come to realise is completely your fault.

with a deep sigh and a gradual acceptance that you should just head back to the dorms, you turn on your heel, tossing your tassels somewhere in the basket you’d picked them up from before slowly trudging your way in the direction of the student accommodation. your eyes feel glossy, and that weird lump you keep getting before you’re about to cry is back in your throat as you watch everyone whizz past you, clearly bustling in thrill that’s much different from how you’re feeling. you do catch a few glances on you, feeling people’s stares and knowing they’re probably wondering why a member of the cheer team isn’t out partying with the rest, but you can’t find it in you to care anymore. you don’t know how you ever did in the first place.

y/n.

your ears perk at a familiar voice shouting your name in the distance, goosebumps spiking on your skin at the way it sounds so similar to chan’s. you feel like you’re hallucinating at this point, just hearing things because of your growing infatuation with him that’s finally made its way up from the underlying surface, and that only prompts you to walk faster as you tug your arms to your chest. if you’re starting to imagine things, it’s best that you get out of here. so, with your eyes squeezed shut, you try carry yourself as fast as your legs can take you, the call of your name only growing louder regardless of how much you ignore it. you swear you’re going mad from the way each time it returns, it sounds even closer and identical to how chan does, springing up memories of when he’d called you by your name the previous times you’d spent together.

y/n. y/n. y/n.

“y/n!”

your eyes widen when you hear the same voice and footsteps jogging up directly right behind you, this time knowing for sure that it’s not just in your head and rather coming from a few meters away. your heart accelerates with the possibility of what that means, of what that would entail if it were true. it couldn’t be.

..could it?

you’re quick to spin around when the thought crosses your mind, your eyes raking over your surroundings to search for that one figure you’ve been looking for in everyone you’ve met for the past few months. your breath catches in your throat, and you whip your head side to side to try and find the source, but it’s only when your vision stabilises and settles on the emerging figure in front of you that you realise it—

chan.

it’s chan.

chan is here.

“y/n.” he breathes out when he finally catches up to you, his glasses slipping off the bridge of his nose in his haste to greet you. you don’t respond, mouth open and feet frozen in place with your mind rushing at a million miles per hour and so many different questions echoing in it. is this real? have you fallen into some delusional state of existence where you’re envisioning the one person you’ve needed for so long? is he just a figment of your imagination that’s been burning with his face for so many days now? you can’t believe it, you don’t want to believe it, you think you don’t deserve to believe it. you long to reach out to him and place your hand in his, to feel and see if he’s actually present and standing in front of you, but your body acts like it’s been caught up in utter shock, something chan seems to pick up on after your prolonged silence.

“g-good job on the game.” he decides to stutter out as a way of starting conversation hopefully, cursing internally at how his voice wavers before letting out a nervous chuckle. “you were really great out there, and i saw you lead everyone really well. you know, if i think about it, cheerleading is kinda an intense sport, ‘cause why were you guys jumping so high, and—“

“you came.”

chan blinks as if to process your words, his eyes softening immediately at the admission that’s slipped out of you when you cut his rambling off mid-sentence with two simple words. you look so shocked, and it’s with a proper glance at your face he’s getting after not having been able to see you well enough for a while that he notices the remnants of your bloodshot eyes and slight dark circles, all of which you’d tried to cover up with makeup. he thinks you’re still as pretty as ever like this, and his hand twitches with the urging need to take you in his arms. he wants so badly to hold you, but he hesitates, instead settling on two, even more simpler words—

“you called.”

that’s all it takes. all it takes is two words which inherently have no meaning unless you give it to them to set you free and rid you of the static in your brain, your orbs stinging with the all too knowing tears that slowly drop out of them as you let everything sink in. it may sound like the most mundane sentence on the outside, but to you, after weeks of uncertainty and these last few days filled with what you would honestly classify as the worst depressive thoughts of your life, they feel like the most uplifting thing ever.

chan’s gaze widens when he catches the sole droplet of salty water roll down your cheek, and he’s instinctively extending his finger to wipe it away until he realises what he’s just done. you don’t even get to speak as he splutters out apologies for touching you while looking around to see if anyone caught that. his actions make your heart ache, knowing it’s because of you that he feels so cautious, and before you can even think, you’re crashing into him. the sudden weight of your body causes him to stumble a little on his feet, but he manages to stabilise himself as you wrap yourself around him in his embrace, burying your face into his chest.

“‘m sorry. ‘m so, so sorry.” your voice cracks as you speak, muffled into his jacket to the point he has to strain to hear it. you keep repeating the same thing over and over again to the point it makes his frown deepen, and he’s instant in cradling you back in his hold, other people be damned because he’d be an idiot not to take care of you now of all times. he lets you mumble into his clothes as long as you need to, grip on your smaller figure tightening while he rubs your back soothingly. his touch feels warm and comforting, and you don’t even know how you’d gone so far without it, pulling back with a sniffle after a short instance so you can scan your eyes over his features.

he’s dressed in simple clothes today, but that same combo of his signature snapback and glasses he always has remain resting on his head and face. you don’t even know what it is about them, maybe it’s the fact that you’ve gotten so accustomed to seeing him in these things, or maybe it’s how you’re finally catching a glimpse of it all after having been away for so long, but the sight of his accessories that you know all too well only makes you cry harder. you try move your arm to wipe at your tears, but chan is quicker, the soft pads of his thumbs brushing against your wet cheeks as he cups your face in his hands. your bottom lip juts out shamelessly as he wipes the remnants of your emotions away, to which he just smiles.

“i’m sorry too.” he admits, your confusion urging him to elaborate. “i saw you called yesterday night, but my brother had my phone and wouldn’t give it back to me, so i couldn’t pick up. i debated calling you back too, but i wasn’t sure if it was just another drunken mishap, and then after you said everything that day, i-i didn’t want to risk bothering you, and..“ he trails off, biting his bottom lip. you swallow at his words.

“it wasn’t a drunk call.” you shake your head, voice still wobbly as you clear your throat. “chan, i..“ you struggle to find a plausible explanation, wishing you could say a hundred words and none at the same time. you want to tell him everything in your heart, all the fears you’ve had this entire time that you want to get over with his help, all the nonsense your brain has been spewing ever since you told him to walk out of your life, all of it. you want him to know every deep, dark secret you’ve kept this entire time, but you can’t seem to find the right way to phrase it all.

“i get it.” he offers a lopsided grin as if having read your mind, and it’s pathetic really how it instantly eases all your worries. “you don’t have to say anything, not unless you want to. but, y/n,” chan hesitates, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. “there’s something i need to tell you before it’s too late.”

that makes you gulp, and you wonder for a split second if maybe this is the end. maybe this is chan finally putting himself and his needs first before you can even profess all the unsaid declarations of your feelings for him. maybe he’s become fed up with you at last and came to see you in person today to let you down easily, telling you sweet things and comforting you so you’d ease your guard and be more susceptible to what he’s about to say. maybe it’s finally time for you to let go before you could’ve even had a taste of what was to come, maybe this is the universe’s way of letting you know you lost your timing due to your insolence, maybe—

“i love you.”

…what?

your eyes practically bulge out of your head at this point, and for a while, you wonder if you really heard him right. it’s like your entire world seems to slow down around you too, your surroundings spinning even with you trying to stabilise your vision after what you’d just been told. everything feels like it’s fading into background noise, and suddenly your entire focus is only on chan; chan with his gorgeous face and honey-like voice that you’ve heard so many times letting you know the one thing you’ve longed to hear from him these past few weeks.

“i think— no, i know you’re it for me.” he continues to blurt out, his anxiety gnawing him at the back of his mind with the way you don’t say anything. “i’ve wanted to tell you for so long because i’ve been in love with you for a while now, but i didn’t because of what you said that day. a-and i know you told me not to bother you again, and maybe you’re not in the right mindset right now and i’m just imagining all of this, and you’re going to wake up tomorrow having changed your mind and we’ll go back to the way we were, and—“

chan’s words die down in his throat before he can even get the rest of his sentence out, a surprised yelp leaving him when you abruptly cut him off by pressing your mouth against his. he lets out a small noise of shock at the way you lean into him, but his hands wrap around you as if its instinct, caging you into his body when he eventually does reciprocate your actions. your lips are soft; they’re so warm and taste like your strawberry chapstick, but he doesn’t care that it’s probably staining his face, at least not when he’s finally got you with him, no less in the way he’s longed for ever since he met your drunk figure stumbling into the balcony with him that night at the party.

your head isn’t any quieter either, adrenaline coursing through your veins and heart impossibly beating out of your chest as you enthusiastically mould yourself to him. your fingers bunch up the jacket he’s wearing, and the way he’s kissing you makes your toes curl inside your shoes, but none of that matters when you’re here at long last with chan. chan, chan, chan. your chan. your chan who has never been yours but is now saying he is. your imperfect, awkward, nerdy chan who holds the door open for you and respects all your wishes regardless of how they make him feel. the realisation makes your insides twist in a way you think might make your legs give out on you, but chan is quick to squeeze your waist as a way of reassuring you that he won’t let you fall, and you can’t help the fluttery sensation in your stomach that passes with that.

when you both do pull away, it’s with much reluctance, and you can see the faintest hint of a pout on chan’s face decorated with the remnants of your makeup, but he doesn’t seem to care so you think neither should you. your eyes lock when he opens his, those same orbs you’ve felt such complicated feelings for reflecting back at you with unspoken tension and so much adoration. you think you might physically melt with the way he’s staring down at you, so lovestruck and completely in awe, but that’s exactly what gives you the push to say your next words—

“i love you so much.” you choke out, unexpected emotions washing over you as you finally admit what you’ve been wanting to say for so long. it feels liberating in a way you’ve never experienced, to be honest and real with him, but you think you could get used to it.

“how could i not love you, chan? you’re everything i’ve ever needed.” your voice comes out in a whisper, and chan feels his shoulders relax at that, relief flooding through his system when he finally, finally hears what he’s wanted to since he’s known you. “‘m sorry for pushing you away, ‘m sorry for hurting you, and i’ll try my best to stop running from what i want. so.. if you’ll still have me even after all that, i promise i’ll make it worth your while.” you look down at your feet, swallowing in fear that he’d think otherwise after being reminded of everything you did to him. you know you don’t deserve a second chance, but the thought of chan changing his mind after everything that’s happened feels way too cruel, although you think maybe that’s your karma.

“hey,” your ears catch his gentle voice speak up, dragging you out of your thoughts. before you can even look up, chan’s hooking his finger under your chin and making you do so, his beautiful face that you’ve fallen for throughout these past few months coming into your view. the way he’s staring down at you is so tender, so full of admiration that you genuinely believe you might pass out. chan has always looked at you like you hung the stars up in the sky, like he wants you and you only in every lifetime. but, seeing it now after his confession, seeing the way his gaze rakes over your features as if he’s trying to commit them to memory, you feel like you might cry again.

“of course i’ll have you, are you kidding me?” he huffs out in a laugh that pulls you back to reality, although it sounds more like him being in disbelief. “i’ve been dreaming of this ever since i even saw you.” he shyly mumbles, and you can’t stop the goofy grin that spreads across your face at his admittance. you want to jump in joy, to shout out your feelings for him from the top of the bleachers after finally having it all laid bare in front of you, but you can’t, so instead you settle on smashing your lips against his once more, cradling his face in your hands.

chan’s quick in responding this time, and you can sense the way he’s beaming when he moves his mouth in sync with yours. your hand slides up his chest to grip the edge of his jacket, and you swear you can feel the rapid thumping of his heart under your skin, wondering if he can hear yours too with the way you’re both pressed up to each other. you stay like that to the point your lungs burn, exchanging kisses and unspoken feelings amongst each other until you finally have enough (not really). your hand interlocks with his once you pull away and flash him a cheeky smile, the words already leaving you—

“let’s get out of here.”

. . .

by the time you and chan make it to his car, you’re already panting, lips bruised with the way you’ve been pushing them against one another’s for the past few minutes. it took long enough to even drag him to the parking lot, chan not being able to let go of you in favour of walking the short distance to the outdoor area where he'd driven and stopped. the morning sky that’s illuminated above you with hues of orange stretches out for miles, and if anyone’s up there looking down at you both, they’d probably see two young adults giggling amongst themselves as one of them presses the other up to the side of his vehicle. you feel butterflies erupt in you with the way chan slots his body against yours, his leg pushing its way through the gap between yours, and his mouth is on you before you can even speak.

“you look so pretty today.” chan retracts from you to whisper suddenly, his slightly foggy glasses once again sliding off his nose. you reach up and push them back with a mischievous glint in your eyes, and he swears he's never seen a sight so alluring in his life; his red ears are enough evidence of that fact. “so, am i not pretty every other day, mr. bang?” you tease, causing him to let out a chuckle. he missed this, missed the banter between you two that was the start of what could've been mistaken as a lighthearted relationship if no one bothered to correct the details of it. regardless of all the trials and tribulations it took to get you both to this point, he doesn't care, at least not when he finally has you in his arms, your top bunched up in his hands as he looks down at your precious face.

“nope.” he pops the ‘p’, thumb brushing against your cheek. “because those days, you're even prettier.” he murmurs, and you think if your heart races anymore that it might actually burst. the love and adoration that you’re experiencing for him right now, the love and adoration that you've been experiencing for a long time now, it all feels like a fever dream. you're finally able to do and say what you want to him, but you think the best part of it all is him reciprocating it. the way he gazes at you, the way he touches you, the way he kisses you, all of it— it's all so full of emotion to the point you fear that you can't ever give it all back. you'd be damned if you didn't try though.

“alright, romeo, pipe it down. you're gonna get all the ladies with that line.” you joke, and chan throws his head back to let out a laugh that makes your insides twist. you try to move your head away to hide the tint of pink that's rapidly spreading across your face, but he notices anyway, a large grin plastered all over his mouth that he doesn't even bother hiding anymore. he fumbles around with his keys a little until he finally finds the one that unlocks his car, instantly opening the door to the backseat to which you usher in at lightning speed, drawing another laugh from him.

“c’mere.” he sighs once he's in too, grasping your hand to tug you onto his lap somehow despite the cramped space. you let out a noise of surprise as he settles you over him, but your hands instantly move to his shoulders to stabilise yourself, finding the familiar position you've been in far too many times. “someone’s eager.” you let out breathlessly, unable to hold back the giggle that bubbles in your throat at the way he flushes red at your observation. his hands find purchase on your waist, the smooth feel of your uniform being bunched up in his larger fingers causing your heart to beat out of its chest.

“well, yeah, but.. also, i missed you.” chan confesses quietly. “i mean, i’ve been dreaming about this for so long and now it's finally real.” he mutters in disbelief, and you can't stop the pout that forms. your fingers trace along the soft skin of his face, moving past the outline of his jaw to his swollen mouth that you've probably kissed at least ten times by today. you don't hesitate to kiss it again, lips moulding perfectly against his as your eyes slip shut to revel in the moment. chan is nothing but full of sighs of content at your actions, and when you pull away, he swears he almost whines.

“i missed you too. so much.” you admit, full and honest because you had. you'd missed him so much to the point you'd have thought you were going crazy. you missed him every day you had waken up whether or not you wanted to be aware of it, and you'd missed him every night that you'd cried yourself to sleep. and yet, here he is now, sitting with you in his lap all the way in the back of his beat up car, telling you all these sweet words that make you want to do absolutely sinful things to him.

“missed talking to you.” you boop his nose, and he smiles at you, irrevocably down bad. “missed hugging you.” your arms wrap around his broad shoulders, and while you shudder at the visible idea of how much stronger chan actually is compared to you, you sign it off as a fantasy you'll have to indulge in someday later. “missed kissing you.” you mumble, leaning in to pepper a soft trail across his cheeks. “and, most of all..” you trail off, inching closer so you're at level with his burning ears before you speak—

“i missed tasting you.” your voice comes out in a low tone, and chan all but groans at the dirty admission. he shifts slightly underneath you as evidence of his discomfort, but you know that's only from the way you can feel him filling out his jeans. your hips purposely push down on his to grind against the slowly forming bulge tucked away behind his boxers, and he jerks forward, nails digging into the fabric of your skirt with a loud hiss leaving him.

“don’t— don’t do that.” chan gasps out, the sight of your glossy, doe eyes instantly having blood rush between his legs. he can tell you’re in the mood to play games, but he also knows that if he goes one more minute without having claimed you in any sort of way, he might actually die. “‘m literally on the brink of it, baby. please.” you bite your lip at his small plea, ignoring the way the old nickname falls from him as the faintest hint of a smirk forms across your features. you choose to rock your clothed core on his once more anyway, which makes chan toss his head back so rough that a slight thump resonates in the air after he hits the seat.

his gaze is hooded whilst he watches you hump your slowly growing wetness over his pants for the next few minutes, mouth parted as heavy exhales leave it alongside the rapidly rising tension between you both. one particular press of your probably damp by now panties on his bulge has him keening, which only makes you smile. “shit, you still love teasing me, huh?” he curses in question, breathy laughter escaping him at the sight of you nodding as his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. the sight alone is so attractive that you can’t resist leaning in to capture him in another searing kiss, one that’s much hotter and heavier than the previous ones.

chan’s confusion is audible with the way he voices it out loud when you suddenly pull away, but any and all complaints die down in his throat the minute he sees you shuffle from his lap, biting back the groan that threatens to rumble through his chest at you sinking to your knees instead. you’re thankful that his passenger seat is adjusted forward to give you space to sit, likely being that way from all your previous activities, or maybe it could be from anybody else he brought in during the technically no contact period you both broke moments prior to this. hot jealousy bubbles under the surface at the potential of someone else getting to see him how you do, but you swallow it down in lieu of making the most of what situation you’re in now.

“pretty girl.” chan’s voice is merely a whisper, dragging you out of your thoughts as one of his hands caresses the flesh of your cheek, leaving you to nuzzle against it. he glances at you so softly regardless of whatever erotic position you’ve put yourself in, still in utter awe at the fact that you’re here, physically and in front of him instead of the daydreams he’s often found himself imagining of you. he can’t decide whether you look like the epitome of perfection with the sunlight streaming through his windows and highlighting your face, or the epitome of sin with the predicament you’re in which leaves you situated on the floor of his car between his legs; he chooses to settle on both.

your fingers graze his denim clad thighs, and chan retracts himself from brushing his thumb against the skin of your face to hurriedly undo the zipper of his jeans. you’re more than eager to help, assisting him in unbuttoning and shimmying them off despite the cramped space you’re both in. eventually, chan’s pants and boxers are pooling around his ankles, and his leaking cock awaits prettily for any sort of relief you may be able to provide it, the tip a slight shade of red as precum dribbles out. you’re quick to swipe it off, chan’s noises at you doing so falling on deaf ears as you bring the essence up to your mouth and lick it off. the familiar tinge of sweet and saltiness invades your senses, only making the uncomfortable stickiness between your own legs grow.

“you’re so beautiful, channie.” you say after popping your finger out of your mouth, small hands instantly moving to wrap around his length and squeeze just a tad, which has chan’s chest rumbling with a moan. “gorgeous face, gorgeous body, gorgeous everything. how could i have been so foolish to almost let go of it?” you wonder out loud, eyes flickering up to him when he buries his face in his palms, getting flustered at your compliments. “my shy boy.” you giggle at his actions, mesmerised by the way he twitches in your hold when you softly pump him up and down.

“been such a bad girl ignoring you, yeah?” you sigh in faux frustration, although a part of it is true. “no more of that, though. let me make it up to you.” you gather a wad of spit in your mouth before letting it dribble across his cockhead, smearing the saliva over it with your thumb once more. your ministrations have chan’s hips threatening to buck up in your hold, but he restrains himself, embarrassed at how worked up you’ve already gotten him without even having done anything really. “i promise i’ll make you feel so good.” you assure, eyebrows furrowing when he just shakes his head.

“no, y-you always make me feel good.” he stutters at the way your fingers squeeze just a bit harder from his words, and before he can even add anything else to his previous sentence, you’re leaning forward to wrap your warm mouth around him.

a loud groan shudders its way past chan’s lips at how you practically swallow him whole in one go, taking him in so deep that he can feel the way his mushroom head kisses the back of your throat just a smidge. you pull off a little to let your tongue slide out and lick around the underside of his dick, another hand coming up to fondle with his balls simultaneously. soon enough, his low grunts fill the air, only prompting you to hum around chan as the vibrations of your voice shoot up his body. “fuck, angel.” he manages to utter out, a deep moan slipping out when he dares to peek a glance at you, almost cumming prematurely from the way you look up at him through your lashes.

“wan’ you to fuck my throat. please.” you pull off of him to plead instead, rubbing the spit-stricken head of his sensitive cock against your swollen lips. the way you’re staring back at him with wide eyes, your wet muscle darting out to dip into his slit as he chokes on his own words makes him want to take you right then and there, but chan holds back, choosing to oblige your request with a shaky nod as he reaches forward to thread his fingers through your hair. you smile at him sweetly, enveloping his length back into your hot cavern of a mouth and pushing your nose flush to his pelvis.

this time, he feels his tip bump deliciously against the back of your throat, and it doesn’t take much longer for him to start slowly push himself in and out whilst gripping you in a makeshift ponytail. the sloppy sounds of your gagging fill the space of his car in an instant, and the mere sight of your tears welling up nearly sends chan toppling over the edge. he’s quick to take you off of him at that, and you’re about to protest to ask why he stopped when he cuts you off. “‘m sorry, angel, but if we don’t stop, i'll end up finishing like a teenage boy in your mouth.” you huff out a small laugh at his choice of words.

“i wouldn’t have cared, channie. that’s kinda the goal of sex.” you point out, rising from your crouched position with burning knees to settle on his lap once more as you wrap your arms around his neck. “yeah, but..” chan trails off, his breath hitching at the way he presses up against your clothed stomach, and you titter from how he seems absolutely awestruck at the sight of you in his hold. it’s so endearing that you lean forward to press a soft kiss to his nose, letting your lips trail across his cheeks, ears and jaw before finally landing on his mouth. chan feels like he’s going to go mad when you eventually retract from him. “yeah, but?” you remind him with a smug grin, watching him blink to gather his thoughts again.

“i-i want you to feel good too.” he mumbles shyly, averting his gaze elsewhere in embarrassment as you coo. you bring your fingers up to move his face so he’s glancing at you once more, his shining eyes locking with yours and making your heart swell.

chan’s love for you has always been selfless; he doesn’t seem to care for his own pleasure much when it comes to you and always insists on making you feel good over having himself do so. it’s one of the things you’ve grown so familiar with when being around him, and before he came along, the concept of someone being so giving had never even crossed your mind. you’re aware a part of it lies in the fact that you’re his first— first kiss, first time, first everything. it used to scare you before, making you feel like he was missing out on what everyone else could offer him by being stuck to you, but the minute the possibility of him having the experiences he shared with you with somebody else became a reality, you knew you could give less of a fuck about being selfish.

because right now in this very moment, or two hours from now, one day from today, a few weeks from this time, and in every lifetime to come too, you wanted chan. you wanted him on his good or bad days, wanted him through thick or thin, and wanted him even if you had the chance to choose from anybody in the world. he’d become it for you, and god, were you glad he felt the same way.

“it makes me feel good when you do, baby.” you remind him, flashing him a smile that makes his insides melt. “but, if you insist, then who am i to deny my pretty boy?” chan has to bite back the grin that threatens to spread across his face at your words. your pretty boy. yours. he’d wanted to be nothing more ever since you walked into his life and now he finally had it, the idea being so incredulously unfathomable to him that he doesn’t even register you taking off your top. it’s only when your fingers graze his cheek and you lean in for another kiss that he notices you’re now half naked and straddling him, a noise of pleasure leaving his mouth at the realisation which you swallow up. your lips slot against his so perfectly, almost like they’re two pieces of the same puzzle finally meeting each other, warmth blooming in both of you at the idea of being each other’s missing link.

“no, no, just lemme pull ‘em to the side.” you pull back and whisper when he lifts your skirt to yank down your underwear. shakily, you reach below and hook your fingers into the damp material, tugging it to one end and exposing your wetness that nearly drips out of you. chan has to hold back the dirty noises that bubble inside him at the sight of your soaked panties, but even more so when you grab his length and line him up to your entrance. both of you can’t stop your sighs of long deserved relief when his tip breaches your opening, barely sucked in but still nestled inside, and before chan can beg you to put him all the way in, you’re sitting down on his cock completely, biting your lip at the burning stretch.

“fuck.” is the only thing that you hear from chan once he’s fully bottomed out, looking up to see him staring down at where you’re both connected with blown out pupils. his gaze makes you burn up, involuntarily causing you to clench to the point your boy is digging his nails into your side, leaving crescents in your skin for you to wake up to tomorrow. “missed you so much.” chan’s voice is strained alongside the small laugh that escapes him, his hips slightly bucking up and causing you to whimper as the sound goes straight to his dick. he has to physically stop himself from fucking up into you, your warmth enveloping him in the best way possible.

“please move, princess. please.” he begs, pleas dripping with raw desire as he gazes up at you with wide eyes. it’s all the confirmation you need to slowly lift your hips up and lower them down on his, your warm walls clinging to his cock having the both of you moaning out loud at the feeling it provides instantly.

your movements are slow, deep and deliberate with how you rock your hips in a gentle grind against chan’s length buried to the hilt inside you. the angle of your bodies locked together allows his mushroom head to breach far inside you, and it almost feels like he’s all the way in your stomach. chan’s cock has always been girthy and heavy, a large vein protruding along the side of his shaft and leading to the bulbous tip of his dick. the first time you took him, let him feel what it’s like to not just fuck his fist, he almost tore you in half with his misplaced, rabid actions. but right now, with you riding him in the backseat of his car, the windows fogging up and no doubt giving away your scandalous activities, he feels even larger in you, especially with how he pushes up to meet you halfway.

“baby.” you mewl at a particularly well-placed thrust, preening at how his cockhead brushes against that spot tucked safely inside, and chan bites his lip at the way your face is contorted in absolute bliss. he brings one of his knobby digits up to wet it before trailing it down to press into your clit, and you almost fall forward from the sudden jolt of pleasure. “s’good?” he murmurs, continuing to rub tight circles on your swollen nub as you whimper in agreement, vision going crosseyed from how great your body feels at the moment.

sex with chan is always an experience to say the least. you still remember the time he lost his virginity to you, rutting inside your heat freely in his childhood bedroom at a study session gone wrong (or right even) with the headboard bumping into the wall. thankfully, nobody was home that day, and you got the privilege of being as loud as you wanted, an occurrence you didn’t expect to happen because well, everything was new to chan. you hadn’t anticipated him being able to make you cum at all, but he had anyway, drawing at least one orgasm from you with his mouth and fingers before he even slipped in. the entire act had been so.. domestic. the way he’d held you, let you use him, and how he’d kissed you so tenderly, it really should’ve dawned on you right then and there that there was no escaping this. chan had gotten you in the palm of his hand from the start contrary to what he thought; you just hadn’t been aware of it until now.

“i love you.” chan blurts out suddenly, drawing you back to reality as the confession falls so easily from his lips, and your heart races for what feels like the nth time today. it makes you fuck back onto him even harder, your actions become more fervent and desperate with how you lift your hips up to slam them back down on his cock. his car is probably rocking back and forth deliriously by now, and when you slap your hand against the glass to stabilise yourself, it leaves an imprint, but neither of you can find it in yourselves to care about that. “you’re the only one for me. always have and always will be.” chan pants out, his whimpers growing louder with the way your pussy tightens around him at his words.

“i love you.” you whine when he pinches your clit slightly between his fingers, feeling your slick juices dripping down the both of you and making a mess of his backseat. “love you so much, channie. you’re my one and only too.” chan shudders at that, wrapping a hand at the back of your neck to pull you in for a messy kiss. it’s a swap of dirty moans and spit, and chan swears he sees heaven when you slip your tongue inside his mouth to lick into it, the knot in his stomach growing closer to snapping.

“cum with me. please, baby, ‘m so close. cum inside me, please, please, please.” you pull away slightly to whimper, smashing your lips back on his to moan muffled against them. chan just nods rapidly at your pleading, feet planted flat on the floor to give him enough leverage for drilling up into you. the slight curve of his cock pistons into that same spot from before, and it isn’t long before your cunt clamps down on him with your high washing over you like a tidal wave. the tingling sensation resonates through your entire body, and you can’t stop lewd sounds from spilling out of you and into chan’s mouth.

chan follows close behind, balls tightening and limbs shaking as his cock twitches inside you. it barely takes him one, two thrusts until he’s painting your walls white in his release, warm cum oozing and almost leaking out of you with how much of it there is. curses and low grunts leave him, and it takes a minute for the two of you to calm down with how intense the spiking pleasure feels. you remain in his embrace until the ringing in your ears dies down, panting onto each other as sweat trickles down your back and his forehead. when you open your eyes, chan has still got his shut, and you lean forward to press a gentle smooch to the underside of his jaw, kissing it until he regains his composure and faces you.

“i think i died.” he sighs in bliss at last, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at his playful remark, yelping when his finger pokes you in the side for your attitude. “better than your other side pieces, huh?” you question breathless, still worn out and tired from your previous activities. chan stares at you in pure confusion as you give him a pointed look like it’ll remind him of the girl you’d seen him with countless times at the party or outside your dorms, and it takes a while until the lightbulb in his head goes off, orbs wide before he’s bursting out in laughter. “it’s not funny, she was all over you.” you grumble at his reaction, crossing your arms across your chest.

“baby, that was just a friend’s ex who was trying to make him jealous. i barely know her.” he explains with a wide grin on his face. “although, it looks like she got to you instead.” chan chortles when you slap him lightly on the shoulder at his words, having the time of his life as you flush bright pink in embarrassment after having gotten worked up over nothing. “still, she didn’t have to call you nicknames and flirt with you.” you try and defend yourself which only makes chan shake his head before cupping your face and pressing a short kiss to your lips.

“‘m all yours, pretty girl. don’t even worry.” he reassures, eyes so full of love that it’s hard to argue against him anymore. you still choose to pout anyways, and he takes that as an invitation to lean in and push his mouth back to yours. each kiss you exchange makes you melt little by little, and by the time chan is pulling away, you’ve forgotten all about what made you mad in the first place. “so,” your ears perk up when he speaks again, and you look down to find his expression filled with slight hesitation.

a beat of silence passes as chan struggles to find the words to say what he wants, choosing to busy himself in fiddling with the ends of your skirt that you’d failed to take off in your frenzy to claim him. you tilt your head to the side in expectance, but your eyes soften as he heaves out a breath that seems to be filled with deep emotion. instinctively, you take his hand that’s playing around with your clothes and intertwine your fingers, squeezing and dragging it up to nuzzle your face into the back of his palm lovingly in hopes it may calm him down. your little plan works, and before you can even speak up yourself to just ask what’s on his mind, chan beats you to it.

“um, what does this make us?” he mumbles quietly, swallowing the small lump that’s forming at the back of his throat. chan doesn’t want to return to whatever it was that you guys had going on prior to what happened just now between you two, and even though you’ve both declared your feelings for one another countless times by now, it’s still unclear where everything stands, or rather where you stand. he wants you to be his, completely and fully so he can show you off to everyone, but fear gnaws him at the back of his mind that maybe that’s not quite what you want. despite what you’d said while entangled with him, he finds it hard to believe that you’d crave for the same relationship he wants, and he prays that he’ll hear the answer from you that he’s yearned for ages by now.

on the other hand, you simply blink at his words, letting them sink into your head. it’s only when they fully register that you break out into a small smile, heart sinking at how chan looks away with worry evident in his eyes. you know you’re the reason behind his reluctance to want more with you, and that it’ll take some time for him to understand your feelings are on par with his and have been for a while, or may even be further ahead at this point, but you’re more than willing to fix that, regardless of how long it takes.

“channie,” your voice comes out soft and sweet, and chan resists the urge to tear up at the way you call his nickname with so much love. he gulps when you tilt his face to look at yours, shoulders relaxing instantly when he sees you beaming back at him. it’s insane to think how a simple happy look from you makes him feel lighter on his own feet, but with the way some of the anxiety brewing inside him seems to fade away after having gotten a glimpse of your smiling face, he thinks it’s far from implausible.

“if it’s okay with you, and if you’ll have me once more,” you take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves before saying the next of your sentence. “then, i’d love to be your girlfriend.”

chan’s world seems to slow down at your words, the sentence you’d just uttered seeming to have cast some sort of spell on him. it’s like everything in his surroundings fades away into silent noise or sightless objects, and he can’t stop the way his mouth falls open slightly. you want to be his girlfriend? his girlfriend? you, the absolute love of his life, the one person he never thought he could have, want to be his officially? he looks up at you dumbfounded as if you’d just presented the most disbelieving offer of all time, although he supposes you kind of have done that honestly.

“i mean, it’s fine if that’s not what you want.” your voice drags him out of his thoughts, leaving him blinking as you start to blurt out more stuff in your nervous haze. “i’m aware i behaved stupidly and pushed you away for no reason, and maybe you said everything in the heat of the moment, and now that we’re done with it all, you’ve changed your mind and want nothing to do with me, and—“

now it’s chan’s turn to cut off your rambling, his body surging forward to capture your lips with his again, and it doesn’t take long before you’re succumbing to his touch much like the previous instances you’ve melted into him, eyes slipping shut as he cradles your face in his fingers delicately. his entire hold on you is gentle, like you’re a piece of expensive china that might break if he even so as much makes a sudden move. the way he embraces you is filled with tender, all-consuming love, and you think you might start crying once more if he continues with his actions.

“is this real?” he whispers against you, still in complete shock when you nod slowly as an answer to his question, a disbelieving laugh leaving him as he shakes his head. “you’re mine now? like you, the girl of my actual dreams?” his questions have you visibly relaxing, and any and all doubt physically leaves you as you smile back at him in approval, laughing when he hugs you tightly to his chest. “i’m so fucking lucky.” chan breathes out in content, leaving you to simply bury your flustered face into his neck at the way he sounds so utterly in awe.

“ah, wait, no.” he suddenly starts, pulling back to look at you. his curls stick messily over his eyes, and you move to brush them back under his signature hat to get a clearer look at the features of the man you’ve fallen so deep for. “i have to ask you properly to commemorate the occasion.” he purses his lips, mustering up a serious expression that basically makes you simper, far too blinded in love to even point out or make fun of how silly he’s being. because that’s just chan. your chan.

“y/n l/n,” chan clears his throat, taking your hand in his and holding it over his rapidly beating heart which you can feel thumping under your palm. “will you do the honour of letting me be your boyfriend?” he asks, eyes twinkling when you giggle, so enamoured that you can’t resist leaning your forehead against his, nodding instantly.

“i’d love nothing more, bang christopher chan.”

. . .

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

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wchswift · 5 months ago

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ଓ LAP OF (DIS)COMFORT

pairing: logan howlett x reader

summary: during movie night, the only available seat is on logan's lap. pt.2 | pt.3

word count: 727

ℒogan masterlist !

── english isn't my first language :)

mdni 𖤐 18+

Deadpool had a habit of... Well, once a thought settled in his mind, he wouldn't fucking drop it. And ever since Logan became a part of your lives, Deadpool has been obsessed with hosting a movie night every week.

Now each week, without exception, he would gather everyone in the living room to watch a movie and keep Logan up to date. Though the grumpy man would never openly admit it, there was a flicker of enjoyment in him.

Today, however, this crazy slacker had put you in charge of making the popcorn. Something you did after little complaint, but as you returned to the living room, balancing several buckets of freshly popped popcorn, your ungrateful friends had claimed every available seat, leaving you without a seat and standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

You glance around, hands on your hips. “Okay, where the hell am I supposed to sit?”

“Lap dance roulette,” Wade announces, sprawled across half the couch like some kind of human starfish. “Winner gets Logan.”

Your stomach twists, heat creeping up your neck before you can shove it down. You’re not looking at Logan. But you feel his eyes on you like he already knows where this is going. You fucking hated Wade.

"Not happening," Logan grunts, beer in hand, shoulders tense where he sits in the only available armchair.

You fold your arms. "Alright, then where am I sitting?"

“Floor’s right there,”

You glare. “Yeah? Maybe I should make you sit on the floor.”

His lips twitch—almost a smirk—but he takes a long sip of beer instead like he’s enjoying your irritation.

“Oh for f—just sit in his lap,” Vanessa replies, impatient but with a mischievous smile appearing on her lips, throwing popcorn at Wade when he starts waggling his eyebrows. “We don’t have all night.” Great, everyone was against you today.

"Come on, guys! If you all sit down properly, I can easily sit on the couch too," You said, mainly to Wade, who was taking up practically half the couch by himself. When no one answered and carried on talking and complaining, you let out a sigh.

You run your hand over your face, your jaw clenched, but you weigh your options. One: stand for two hours. Two: sit on the floor uncomfortable like an outcast. Or three—

Logan exhales sharply, like he’s already regretting this. "Just sit, sweetheart. Get it over with."

Sweetheart.

Your pulse stutters for a fraction of a second. Logan rarely calls you that—not in that tone, not in front of other people.

But if he’s not making a big deal out of it, then neither are you.

So, ignoring the way your palms suddenly feel a little too warm, you lower yourself onto his lap.

His thighs are solid. That’s your first thought. The second is that you probably should’ve just picked the floor, because now you’re fully aware of everything. The way his chest moves when he breathes. The slow curl of his fingers against his beer bottle. The warmth of his body against yours.

You shift slightly, trying to find a comfortable spot—

A muscle in Logan’s jaw jumps. His hand finds your hip. “Jesus, would you quit moving?”

Your breath catches. His voice is low, rough—gravel and tension rolled into one. And his fingers? Just the barest bit possessive where they tighten against your side.

Wade whistles. "Well, someone’s having a great time. Logan, buddy, is that a blush?"

Logan flips him off but doesn't move his hand.

Doesn’t let go; he actually lets his hand settle loosely on your waist as if to keep you steady. To keep you there.

Your throat feels dry. This was supposed to be nothing—just a seat. But now? The air’s buzzing. Your heart’s drumming. And you swear, swear, that Logan’s grip lingers just a second too long to be innocent.

You don’t say anything about it.

Neither does he.

But as the movie plays, his hand moves to your hip and stays firm. And when you shift—just once—his fingers twitch, like he wants to pull you closer but won’t.

Tension crackles between you like a live wire.

Yeah. You’re definitely not paying attention to the movie tonight.

𖤐 reblogs and feedback are appreciated! requests are also welcome, ty!

taglist: @namikyento (if you want to be added let me know <3)

#꣖ ີ ꣓ writes.#logan howlett x reader #logan howlett #logan howlett x you #the wolverine #wolverine x reader #logan howlett fluff #wolverine fanfiction #deadpool and wolverine #worst wolverine #wolverine #logan wolverine #logan howlett x fem!reader #logan howlett fanfiction #hugh jackman #deadpool #logan howlett 🪽

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corameiwrites · 3 months ago

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𖦹 i want somebody to want pt. 2 𖦹

pair: jason todd x gn!reader

plot: faced with the knowledge that there is someone out there for him, jason todds life is thrown in a whirlwind

wc: 3.8k

authors note: i'm thinking about making the reader in this series an artist. the issue: i can't decide whether their focus is visual art, music, writing, or some performing art. I would appreciate any input you have on this, as it'll probably be mentioned in the next part of this series!

pt. 1

The first time Jason Todd saw you, he swore his heart stopped beating again.

Since that drunken night out at the bar, Jason had begun to look for you everywhere. He went out as a civilian more, began accepting offers to grab a coffee or go hangout somewhere. His siblings, of course, had taken advantage of this fact. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but everywhere he looked, he always tried to catch a glimpse of you. The photos Tim had found online of you were ingrained in his brain. When he closed his eyes, his subconscious was no longer filled with all the dreadful things he’d done and experienced. Your smile—the same one he now searched for in crowds—replaced every aspect of his mind.

Jason had opted for a hoodie layered underneath his leather jacket that day. Damian was bundled up as well, donning a rather janky scarf that Dick had made for him during his crochet phase. Aware of his brother's newfound interest in going out in public, Damian asked Jason if he would take him to a park to gather materials needed for his science class diorama. Agreeing, Jason had picked him up from school and walked with him through the better parts of Gotham to one of the only clean and functioning parks, which just so happened to be near the University area.

“Odd location of park, Todd.”

“Shut it, Wayne.”

Despite the various offers from his family to track you down or learn more about you, Jason had strictly told them not to, beyond looking up your social media and what was public. Even then, he had hesitated when Tim found your accounts. He didn’t want to learn every little thing about you before you had even met—it felt intrusive. He didn’t want his vigilante family stalking you; crashing into your apartment or kidnapping you to meet him, as Damian had lovingly suggested. He wanted what was between you two to be natural, to happen in its own time.

Damian was crouched beside a bush, gathering twigs and little rocks while Jason stood beside him, surveying the park out of habit. Despite the sun's rays shining down, the chill in the breeze had every kid playing on the playground bundled up, and the occasional couple holding hands, walking a little closer to retain some heat. Thankfully, Damian had no interest in looking for materials anywhere near the rowdy playground, so they opted to walk around the wide field, staying on the somewhat scenic walking trail.

In the middle of the grassy field, about 30 people were gathered around a picnic table where an older man sat. He had kept his eye on the group for a while now, and had deducted that it was a class of sorts. The people listening to the man speak looked to be around his age, and all of them had bags. Some stood while many sat on the grass in front of the man.

“Jason, the bag please.” Damian's arm shot up towards Jason, gesturing to the grocery bag halfway full of rocks and twigs. Handing it to him, Jason watched in amusement as Damian inspected two rocks meticulously, carefully placing one of them into the bag and tossing the other behind him carelessly.

“Hey, look before you throw those things.”

Damian's response was another smaller rock thrown at his brother's chest. Jason scoffed, crossing his arms as he turned back to the field, observing the class.

It seemed to be ending, as the people began to stand up and walk away, some by themselves, others in groups. Through the rush of everyone standing, he saw—

You.

Holy fucking shit. You were here.

Even from far away, he could see laughter bubbling out of your mouth as you wiped grass off yourself, talking to a friend of yours. You were radiant; and call it cliche, but to him you were shining brighter than the sun. Thankfully, you were slow to pack up, so he watched, totally captivated by you as you talked with your friends in a small group around the professor.

Seeing you like this was surreal to Jason. The way you smiled at something someone said, how you looked around at the scenery around you, the way you existed and interacted with people—it was surreal.

Until now, you had only existed in the wonders of his mind at night and as a static photo in his phone. Yet here you were, existing in your own world that hadn’t yet collided with his. You had no idea that in less than seven months, you would find his name on your arm.

Jason felt nauseous. Even from this far away, you outmatched everything his mind had come up with from the photos. An overwhelming sense of dread slowly crawled its way up his throat. He couldn’t pinpoint where it came from or what he was feeling exactly, but all he knew was that he wasn’t okay. His mouth was dry, and his eyes were slightly more watery. Despite this, he couldn’t look away. If seeing you from this far away had that effect on him, he didn’t know what he would do when he actually met you, face to face. A little sadly, he watched as you picked up your bag, waving to your professor and friends as you walked away. His eyes never left your retreating figure, and the muscles in his calves twitched to follow.

“Ahki,” the tug on Jason's pants reminded him why he was here in the first place, who he was, where he was, and that he wasn’t alone. “Am I allowed to put this in the diorama?”

Hesitantly (and with much effort), Jason tore his gaze from your distant figure, looking down to the caterpillar in Damians hand. He sighed, shaking his head and turning back to where his heart had disappeared to.

“No, leave it be Damian.”

Later, further down the line on a cozy night in, he would inquire why your class had been outdoors that day. You would tell him the heater in your classroom was broken, causing the room to feel like the insides of a toaster oven. Your professor could only shed so many layers before he decided to go on a field trip to a local park for class where it was much cooler. The students had been enthusiastic about it, and ultimately, paid more attention to what their professor was lecturing.

You, being the way that you are, would apologize for not noticing him further away on the trail. Scoffing at that, he would pull you tighter against him on the couch.

“Nothin’ to be sorry for,” he’d say softly, placing a delicate kiss on your temple. “I was a wreck when I saw you anyways. Probably would have thrown up if you came up to talk to me.”

“Well, I was a wreck when I first talked to you too.”

“At Sifted?”

“No, not the coffee shop,” you would snuggle further into him, closing your eyes as a hum of contentment rumbled through Jason's chest. “When I was walking home from the studio.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ♡ ✩˚｡⋆𖦹｡°⋆✮

The first time Jason Todd interacted with you, it was behind the mask. He had added your general area to his patrol route, despite the low crime rates. If he were being completely honest, it was a much needed respite from crime alley. It allowed him to calm down before going somewhere to rest, simply watching as students walked home from their late night classes, or drunkenly hopped from bar to bar. Occasionally, he would beat up some bastards from following students home, save a couple places from robberies, crack down on some drug deals—the typical stuff.

It was nearing five in the morning when he arrived at your apartment. He typically started out his patrol here on the roof of the building, surveying the area (and resisting the urge to jump down onto your third floor fire escape) before expanding outward towards the more crime ridden and shadowy parts of the area.

The streets were eerily vacant this time of night. The only noises were the occasional far off gunshot, the sounds of cars backfiring, and distant yells of drunk frat kids at the bars a couple blocks over. These sounds had all become familiar to Gotham residents, and sitting atop some random buildings jagged rooftop, Jason closed his eyes, allowing his bruised and scar ridden body to relax for a minute.

A far off cry for help snapped his eyes open.

Alert, his head whipped around, trying to determine which direction the cry had come from.

Another yell, and he was running across rooftops.

Grappling down onto a balcony, he spotted the struggle between two people on the side of the street. One of them ran out of the darkness, towards the streetlight and Jason felt his heart stop yet again.

It was you.

You, and some asshole attempting to do god knows what.

Instantly he jumped down from the balcony, running to the man who had his eyes set on you. He was attempting to say something, probably some threat meant to scare you into submission, but it never left his throat.

The Red Hood grabbed the man's ragged clothing, yanking him back. He came tumbling backwards, a curse escaping his mouth.

Jason swung, his fist colliding with the man's chin. The sharp clack of teeth hitting teeth was painful to hear, let alone watch as the man was hurled to the hard pavement from the punch.

The man groaned loudly, yelling curses. Jason stalked over to the man, lifting him up by the shirt before giving him another painful punch to his temple. The man wasn’t knocked out, per say, but now he was incapable of forming a coherent sentence or moving his limbs in a precise manner.

Squatting, Red Hood rummaged through his belt for tactical wire. He turned his head, helmet looking at your shocked figure. At some point, probably when he had uppercut the guy, you had sunk to the floor, leaning against the light pole.

You stared wide eyed at the scene, gaze flickering from the man to Red Hood. He simply turned his head, flipping the man onto his stomach and tying his hands together behind his back. His head pounded from the adrenaline, from the fact that you had been in danger.

He stood, walking towards you. From this height, you looked like a frightened alley cat, curled up on itself. Slowly, he stuck his hand out.

Your gaze flickered from the gloved hand to the helmet, hesitantly placing your hand atop his. Jason's heart soared.

In the most careful manner, Jason helped to pull you up off the cold cement, standing back on your feet. His hand never let go of yours, and you slowly pulled it back, fixing your attire.

“Thank you…” your voice was shaky, and this close, Jason saw the way you trembled slightly. If you weren’t here, he would have killed the guy squirming on the sidewalk a few feet away.

Despite the obvious tremor in your voice, Jason's throat had closed up at finally, finally hearing your voice. The deep, soul-clutching feeling from when he saw you at the park a couple weeks ago slowly made its second appearance in his gut, and the temperature inside his helmet seemed to increase. Turning his head, he saw a bag discarded on the ground, the same one you had with you on that cold day at the park.

Walking over to the bag, he got down on one knee and picked up all the things that fell out of it.

Chapstick, two pens, a wallet with a very familiar government ID, some coins, and….a tiny plastic dinosaur?

Jason smiled, putting it back inside your bag before standing once more, bringing the bag back over to you. Your eyes hadn’t left him, and your hand had grabbed your bag with much less hesitance than before. You thanked him yet again, fumbling with your clothing and keychains. Jason watched, and noted how your breathing continued to come rather fast, your jaw beginning to tremble.

He didn’t want you to feel threatened, didn’t want you to ever feel whatever you were feeling right now. Your gaze flickered to the semi-unconscious man on the pavement. Jason could tell how scared you still were, despite the attacker being tied up and incapacitated behind him. His mind raced to help you without coming off as odd or threatening. He couldn’t offer you a hug, who would want to hug Red Hood? The famed murderer and crime lord turned vigilante, turned Batman Associate. Not exactly the most comforting person. Despite this, his arms ached to hold you, to wrap his frame around yours and guard you from the rest of the world.

All Jason wanted was to protect you.

“Were you walking home?” When he spoke, he tried his damn best to sound less intimidating through the helmet modulator. Your head lifted to look at him, or rather the mask. You nod slowly.

“I’ll walk you the rest of the way.”

“You don’t have to, you’ve already done enough—”

“I want to.” His voice left no room for negotiation, and somehow, you knew this wasn’t a battle you would win. A small smile crept its way onto your face, and you nodded, muttering a small okay.

You began to walk.

Jason followed.

He always would.

It had only been a few silent minutes by the time your apartment building loomed before you. You turned back towards Red Hood, awkwardly thanking him once more, getting a nod in response before entering the building.

From a rooftop, Jason watched as the lights in your living room turned on. Turning with the final knowledge that you were safely home, he made his way back towards the man he left binded up on the sidewalk.

Despite his own doubts and insecurities, he reminded himself you were his for a reason. You were the one person who could comfort him the most, help him in his darkest times, and love him despite all the wrongs he's done, rough edges and all. And regardless of what his brain told him, he could do the same for you. Tonight was proof of that. The universe, despite it’s wild and fucked up ways, had given him the gift of you. You two were made for each other—you’re his soulmate.

As he landed down on the sidewalk, the man turned his head, eyes widening at the return of Red Hood. He blabbered, begging for mercy as Jason loomed over him.

The bastard was going to regret ever attempting to hurt you.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ♡ ✩˚｡⋆𖦹｡°⋆✮

The first time you met Jason Todd was an accident.

In the last year or so of moving to Gotham, you had made it a habit to leave your overpriced apartment every couple days to work/study in the cozy coffee shop—Sifted—a block away. You had settled into a routine of going there after class, in the mornings, and whenever you needed air from your cramped apartment. Quickly, you had made yourself a regular.

You began to notice other regulars as well; a mother with her two toddlers who would be there for lunch every Tuesday and Thursday, back on Sundays with the father. A group of teenagers who would come in every morning before walking to school, and an older man who seemed to constantly be stressed out who ordered a comically large plain black coffee.

The quaint little Cafe was a hidden gem in Gotham, hidden away from the crime and ugly side of the city. Everywhere you looked inside the place was aesthetically pleasing, with a plethora of plants, as well as a small free library and games for kids. The seating was diverse as well, with tables of different heights and shapes, comfy chairs, and plush couches/cushions for the kid area.

Simply put, it fulfilled all your aesthetic coffee shop dreams.

As of late, you had noticed the recurring presence of a handsome guy, about your age, brunette with good style, who was absolutely shredded. You had first seen him a couple weeks ago in the afternoon when you sat down at your usual corner table to get some work done. He sat across the shop in a leather chair, facing your direction. On the little side table, he had a steaming beverage—either tea or coffee you guessed—and a book in hand.

The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde.

To say that you were a little attracted to him would be an understatement. He had sporadically been showing up to the coffee shop since then (always with a book), and you had been lucky enough to be there at the same time he was. Once, while waiting in line to order, you had watched through the front glass windows as a red motorcycle pulled up to the shop, the rider parking and taking off their helmet.

Of course, Mr. Bookworm rode a motorcycle. After gaining this new bit of information on him, your mind went wild with fantasies and dreams of being swept away off your feet, taken to ride somewhere at top speeds through Gotham streets.

Your brain told you that this was a stupid hallway crush—there was zero chance of getting with him. And yet, the countless times you had caught his eye, or exchanged a quick smile with him while leaving or entering made you think otherwise, because maybe, just maybe he was curious about you too.

Today, you were a mess. You had attempted to pull an all-nighter working on a project for one of your classes, but had fallen asleep on the rug in your living room. You woke up around noon feeling more tired than you were before falling asleep, and your stomach was rumbling and aching for food. You were more than disappointed to see you forgot to go shopping for basic snacks and things to eat that didn’t require cooking or more than two dishes.

You had opted to stop by Sifted, the coffee shop on your way to class to pick up a sandwich and coffee to help energize you before rushing to your 1 PM class. When you approached the cafe, your heart skipped a beat to see a certain red motorcycle parked outside.

Entering, you were a little shocked to see your guy sitting with another man (also shredded) with a small gray dog in his lap. His eyes flickered to you as you entered, and you smiled at him before rushing to the counter and ordering your much needed coffee. Rather than sit down, you stood by the counter where they placed all the drinks, opening your phone and aimlessly scrolling.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t eyeing the two men in your peripheral vision.

The soft music playing over the speakers, combined with the typical clamor from the kitchen and baristas muffled their conversation. After five or so minutes of scrolling and stealing glances, the barista placed two drinks down on the counter.

Taking one of the cardboard cups into your hand, you quickly thanked the barista before turning. On your way out, you passed the guy on his way to the counter. An intrusive thought about the height difference between you two filled you with shame, and you quickened your way to the door.

Once outside, you threw away the receipt in a trashcan, bringing your coffee in its to-go cup to your lips.

What went down your throat was not coffee. This was not what you ordered.

Swallowing, you brought the cup up higher, inspecting the writing in bold marker on the side—

Hot Chocolate - Jason

No way.

No fucking way, you had just stolen someone elses drink.

It wasn’t just anyone either. It was the guy of your dreams, who you now knew to be named Jason. Jason, who rode a red motorcycle, read at a coffee shop for an hour almost every day, while drinking Hot Chocolate of all things.

Sighing, you turn back around, walking into the cozy shop once more. Instantly, you make eye contact with the guy Jason, who is standing in front of his friend, or whoever he was here with, drink held high to inspect it. Your drink.

Sheepishly, you make your way over to him, apologizing. “Hi, I am so sorry, you’re Jason, right? I just grabbed a drink without looking even though I probably should have and I accidentally took yours and already took a sip of it, so can I buy you another drink if you want? I’m sorry again…”

The lack of proper sleep seemed to be getting to you, and you only realized when you were done how you had rambled to him. You heard a chuckle, and glanced behind Jason to his friend who was smiling, looking down at the dog in his lap.

“It’s no big deal,” Jason responded, looking down at you. He took a sip of his your drink. “Do you always get this? It’s good.”

A little taken aback by his friendly demeanor, you allow yourself to smile more freely. He wasn’t mad, which meant he probably didn’t hate you, which also meant that you still had a slim chance with this guy.

“Sometimes I do.” You tell him your name, pointing to the cup where it was written. He introduces himself too, despite the fact you already know.

“I’ve uh, noticed you around here a lot.” He ran a hand through his hair, and you swear he knew what he was doing.

“Yeah, me too. Not me, obviously. You–I’ve noticed you too.” Seriously, you need to work on how well you respond in high-stress situations. He smiles in response, nodding. It’s an awkward interaction, really, but not in an unbearable way. It’s almost sweet, how neither of you can hold eye contact for too long before looking down or fidgeting in some way.

The conversation lulls there before you see a clock and realize you have fifteen minutes to make it to your class on time.

“Well I uh, I have to go but it was nice to meet you.” You take a step backwards, wanting to run away and stay there talking to him at the same time. His lips draw tight into a line and he nods. “And sorry again for stealing your drink.”

“It’s really alright. Have a good day.”

“You too!” With that awkward end, you turn and basically run towards the door, exiting the shop and quickly walking down the sidewalk, away from Jason, Hot Chocolate in hand. Even with embarrassment flaming through your body, you can’t help the wide grin from settling onto your face.

He had noticed you.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ♡ ✩˚｡⋆𖦹｡°⋆✮

You had noticed him.

The thought alone made him giddy, and as he replayed the entire interaction, he couldn’t help his heart from thumping wildly in his ribcage.

You had talked to him. You apologized to him, said his name.

Slowly, he sat back down in his usual leather chair, starstruck. Next to him, Dick laughed as he watched his brother.

“If this is how you're acting after one small interaction, I think you’re in trouble.”

“Shut up, Dick.”

Haley barked softly, wagging her tail.

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #red hood x reader #jason todd #red hood #batfam #batfamily #dick grayson #damian wayne #haley the dog #bitewing #nightwing #dc #fanfiction #soulmate au #soulmates #corameiwrites

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siriuslylantsov · 5 months ago

Text

morning glory

pairing: spencer reid x reader

description: following the events of drunken confessions. the next morning after spencer tells you he loves you, albeit drunk and half asleep, you don't know if he means it.

tags: fluff, gn!reader, hangover but i dont dwell on it, whiny!spencer (lol), so so soft, r is so unsure but she just needs reassurance.

a/n: omg my first pt 2 as per popular demand (3 people asked), happy reading!

wc: 1.6k

i love you.

three words that bounce from one end to the other in your head, like a pendulum, reverberating across the hard surface of your skull. it echoes through the small space of your ear canal, taking up entirely too much space. it repeats with the beat of your pulse, heart thudding in a steady rhythm.

suffice it to say, you barely slept. running the words over and over for some kind of clarity. instead you preoccupied yourself with watching spencer sleep, like you are now.

with the sunrise, came light. light that filtered through the curtains just enough that you could see his face. his lips are slightly parted, soft puffs of air that don’t quite reach you. they’re pulled down minutely, in a little frown, seemingly how his face falls when he's unconscious. it's sweet. his eyebrows twitch, creasing momentarily, you wonder if he’s dreaming, or if it's a nightmare.

your fingers itch to reach out and touch him, soothe the line. but he's so peaceful, you don't know if you want to wake him up. you never get to see him like this, without the weight of the world on his shoulders, unthinking. so you stall a bit, let the wave of serenity pass before it comes crashing down in the form of a violent hangover.

you probably stay like that for an hour, an hour spent admiring his features. it's easier than confronting what he said. he’d stayed in the same position all night, curled up on his side, facing you. you’re leaning on your elbow now, looking down at him from above. his face moves, nuzzling into the pillow beneath his head. it causes that same stubborn strand of hair to fall loose.

you give in and touch him this time, tucking the piece behind his ear. you trace a finger over his brow bone and then down the slope of his perfect nose. this causes him to stir, eyes fluttering open as he takes in his surroundings before they land on you. they instantly soften.

“morning,” you whisper, wary of your volume.

“hey,” he croaks, voice riddled in sleep. all his features pull up, twisted in a grimace as his head throbs. he rolls onto his back, bringing his fingers up to his temple, rubbing the pads of them in between his eyebrows.

“where's your aspirin?”

he hums in thought, or in pain, it's uncertain. “the um- drawer,” he points beside him aimlessly, eyes still closed. he's about to move to get it but you stop him, leaning over his body to reach the bedside table next to him. you reach over him, hovering awkwardly over his body. you shiver imperceptibly when his hand settles on your waist for support, an unconscious action, you suppose. when you find it, you give him a pill and he swallows, his hand falls back to his side.

“what time is it?” he grumbles.

“quarter to twelve,” you respond, barring a quick look at the analog clock that sat on his dresser.

he harrumphs, something of acknowledgement. you didn’t think he’d be this grumpy waking up but you don't mind, it's awfully cute.

“it’s so bright,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut further, if possible.

“your eyes are closed.”

“my retinas are burning,” he whines, throwing his arm over his eyes to shield him from the sunlight in a thespian flourish.

“so dramatic,” you huff as you get up to close the curtains, the smile in your voice irrefutably evident. you peek out the window first, your car is still parked outside, you stayed the night!

when you sit back down on the bed, his head seeks you out, laying gently on your lap. you card a hand through his hair, the action seemingly appropriate. he lets out a hum, satisfied.

“do you remember much from last night?” you ask, trying to come off casual, the question is loaded to say the least. plus, you don't know if alcohol affects an eidetic memory the same way. maybe he remembers everything, like always.

“no,” he says with a little shrug. “well, i remember going to the bar and morgan spilling a shot on his shirt but that's it.”

oh. so not that differently.

“well, i'm sure he’ll appreciate you remembering that,” you chuckle, ruffling his hair. with a long sigh, you decide to not bring it up. it’ll come back to him, surely. you’ll wait for him to come to you about it.

you lift his head off your lap and let him sink back into the pillows. “how about you freshen up and i’ll make you some toast?”

his eyes peek open, barely. “yes please,” he replies meekly, a small smile in tow.

you put slices of bread into the toaster on his counter, leaning against it as you wait. what happens if he doesn't remember? will you tell him? how do you even bring that up?

hey spencer! last night you told me you love me. do you?

the loud spring of the toaster startles you back to the moment. behind his bedroom door, you can hear the faint sound of his shower running and you remember you’re still in his clothes. god, you're gonna have to wear yesterday's clothes back home. you mindlessly take the hot toast out and set it on a plate, wincing when you hold them for too long. you put 2 more slices of bread in, for you of course.

you decide to make some eggs too, pulling the carton out of the fridge and getting a pan from beside his sink. you move with surprising ease through his kitchen, like you’d been there before. you haven't, but again, it's so easy with spencer, it apparently extends to his home too. you hum absentmindedly, cracking an egg into a bowl and beating it with a fork. you don’t know it yet but spencer's watching you, having finished his shower.

it all comes back to him slowly, as he puts on a new change of clothes, skin still a little damp.

asking penelope for a drink, drinking it, thinking, thinking about you, you showing up? maybe he was magic. you sitting with him, talking to him, taking him home. he remembers stumbling up the stairs, his arm thrown haphazardly over your shoulders and yours hooked around his waist.

“you're so nice, y’know?”

“yeah? you won't think so tomorrow morning.”

you tucked him in, stayed when he asked you to. you told him about your breakup and he told you, oh, he told you he loved you.

shit.

he has to make this right. he's quick to feed his arm into the last sleeve and walk out of his room. however, he stops when he sees you. swaying lightly, humming a tune he recognises from last night, standing there in his clothes. he thinks he might die. clearly, he wasn’t paying much at all when he woke up earlier. damn headache.

“i told you i loved you.”

your head snaps in his direction, unaware of his presence. you jump a little before calming. “yeah... you did,” you confirm, trying to keep your tone light. it wasn't a question but you still answer. he remembers.

“and you told me to tell you again when i wake up,” he recalls.

you chuckle quietly, “i didn't realise you heard that.”

“i did.”

you nod, slowly, expectantly, for him to say something else, anything else.

“i love you.” there it is.

“you mean that?” your voice comes out way smaller than you intended. he still hasn't moved.

“of course i do,” he says with a sigh, inching his way closer. you look like you're going to spook.

“okay,” you breathe, looking down at your fingers, you begin to ramble. “it's just, last night- you were drunk and sleepy and well, tired and i didnt know if you were being honest or just saying it on whim.”

he's suddenly in front of you and you can't look at him. he's fine with that, it makes it slightly easier.

“hey, i mean it. i love you. i’m sorry i said it how i did, it wasn't fair. and you don't have to say anything back, i just- want you to know.”

you look up at him now, eyes searching, and when you find sincerity in his eyes, you soften, muttering out a quiet “okay.” your lips twist to the side, trying not to smile, but glee fills out every nook and cranny of your body. he takes this as a good sign and lets out the breath he didn't realise he was holding, smiling back at you.

“so,” you start, seemingly casual. “how do you take your eggs?”

spencer laughs, amused by your change in topic. he nods toward the bowl of already beaten eggs, “scrambled.”

you nod, firmly. you pick up the bowl and move to the stovetop, but not before grabbing his fingers with your free hand and pulling him with you.

your thumb glides along the curve of his forefinger as you hold it between your bodies, waiting for the pan to heat up. you’re biting your lip so much, you think you might draw blood. you’re unbearably happy. and you think you’re doing a good job of hiding it but you’re not. spencer can see the way you giddily twitch by his side, opting on not saying anything about it as he smiles softly.

“you love me,” you tease, singsong, dragging out the ‘love’. your head leans against his shoulder.

“mhm,” he confirms. ”you’re never gonna let me live this down, huh?”

“nope,” you chirp, pressing a chaste kiss to his shirt.

reblogs and replies are appreciated | m.list

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #mgg #matthew gray gubler

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gothghostiie · 1 month ago

Text

@pricegotmedickmatized is having a good day so obviously I have to so something about it

pt. 2 to this

cw: age gap(20s/40s), some size difference, risky place, fingering while driving (dont do this kids), fisting, praise, a little degrading, begging, no lube used, virgin!reader, afab!fem!reader

it's been a few weeks since your grandparents had called him over for help. nothing needed fixing, they didn't need any help. he did go knocking on their door every few days, but they always said they needed nothing. if it wasn't for them inviting him in for cake or whatever goods your grandma made, he would've thought they know what he did to poor, sweet you in their kitchen. but they don't, lucky for him. he doesn't know if he'd be quite as welcome there if they did, probably not. he'd understand it, honestly.

it's another rainy summer day when his phone rings. he still has a landline, prefers it to calling over his phone, its a good thing to have if your phones lost or dead. not that he doesnt have a spare (an old timey flip phone, the one's seniors usually have), but he's know it like that since he was just a boy, so why change it now? he thanks god he has it when it rings and he hears your grandpa's voice through it. "Mr. Price," his tone is warm and kind, as always, "are you busy?" John shakes his head with a soft 'mh-mh', before he can answer properly the old man speaks again. "could you come over?"

Price immediately throws on his jacket, slipping into his boots. barely bothers to pull up the hood over his head to shield him from the rain on the short walk. he's almost beaming at the thought of being able to help again - it's an old instinct he never quite lost and never will lose. it's just how he is, an old dog, eager to help where he can. and it truly pays off, because when your grandfather opens the door and leads him into the living room, you're there.

his eyes glue to you, darting over your outfit. a short little sundress, even shorter than the last one, a thin but baggy jacket and a pair of cute mary jane's that match your outfit together with some frilly, white socks. his cock throbs when you look up at him with big, surprised eyes, looking a bit startled to see him. "Sweetheart. good to see you again." he steps closer with a kind smile, acting like nothing is amiss.

"it's.. nice to see you too.." you say quietly, acting like your cunt isnt clenching around nothing at the mere memory of how his big fingers stretched it out. you force a smile, shifting uncomfortably as you cuss yourself out for needing to change your panties once youre home. your whole clothes, considering how its raining, but at least that gives you an excuse to have a long, hot bath and-

"John," your grandmothers sweet voice breaks the silence, ripping you out of your thoughts, "could you drive her home? its just a 20 minute drive and she's here with her bike." she gives you a lovingly scolding look, making your cheeks heat up in slight embarrassment, even more when you see John's expression.

"of course." he winks at you. "let me go get my truck. sit tight, love." you can't even protest as he walks out of the door without another word, your grandma giving you a nudge as you open your mouth to speak.

"don't be like that, I couldn't stand the thought of you in the rain sweetie. and john doesn't mind." you give her a little look, she digs in her purse. "just give him this as a thank you for driving you." she says, handing you a 10 bill, it just makes you sigh. she's stubborn as a mule and you don't want to argue with her. so you pocket it with a grumble, then hug them both goodbye before leaving the house to see an old, a bit raggedy looking, high truck standing in front of the small house your grandparents call their own. you almost didn't wanna go in, it looks like one of these things a pervert in a movie would drive - but John hops out and opens the passenger door for you.

"C'mon in love, don't be shy. it's all nice 'n cozy up in there." he smiles warmly, but it sounds like he's coaxing an animal to get in its crate - but you do. you walk over, shielding your face from the rain with your hand. you put one foot up on the small step - john quickly steps behind you, big hands gripping your waist tightly and giving you a boost. he lifts you with ease, fingers digging into the soft fabric of your dress and squishing the fat underneath it gently. put one hand on your ass until you pull yourself in and sit down; before you can reach for the seat belt he fastens it for you. closes the door and quickly hops into the drivers side again, starting the truck up without buckling up. pulls off the curb and onto the street, driving with a content hum. "where to?" he asks, glancing over at you, your slightly damp hair clinging to your face in a few places, your dress riding up your thigh a good bit - he can't help but wonder if your sweet ass is sitting bare on the leather bench, save for your panties.

you tell him the street and house number of the small apartment building you live in, he hums and drives into that direction. he doesn't even try to hide the glances that roam over your body every chance he gets, at every stop sign and every red light. the sound of the rain coming down onto the car and the quiet music on the radio filling the cab of the car, only broken up by him speaking to you. "how've you been, hm?" he asks softly, one hand reaching over to pat your knee - and find purchase on your lower thigh. "you been behaving yourself?" he chuckles at his own joke, you nod a bit.

"y-yea. I've been good." you stutter, too flustered for your own good. this isn't the first man you've ever talked to by any means but something about him gets you so unbelievably nervous.

"you've been good, have you? what a good girl." he chuckles, eyes crinkling at the corners when he does, squeezing your thigh a bit tighter. you gulp, he grins wider. "been doin' well too. missing you an awful lot, though. should've asked you for your phone number last time." he sighs softly, his thumb rubbing the bare, soft skin of your thing while it keeps inching higher and higher, as if you won't notice.

'you missed me?" your voice is soft, confused, hesitant to ask him something like that. he smirks and nods, stopping at a red light.

"that I did. couldnt get your pretty little face out of my head." his hand briefly leaves your thigh to grab you cheeks, squishing them while giving your head a little shake. he can feel your cheeks heat up and it makes him laugh even more. "you're so fucking cute. when I grab your little cunt you just moan like a whore and buck your hips to fuck it, but when i tell you i missed you, you blush like a little school girl. its hilarious." he lets go of your cheeks and pats one of them a bit more rough than necessary before he keeps ok driving; his hand finding purchase on your thigh once again; this time higher up, able to reach under your dress if he wanted to. "it's adorable, really. but yea, I missed you."

his tone is casual again, like he didn't just.. say that. like he didn't just remind you of how desperate you were, of how you almost let him fist you in your grandparents kitchen while they were a room over (you would've let him, if he hadn't stopped), of how good his fingers stretching you felt, of the words he murmured into your ear; you could feel yourself getting wet, your cunt getting hot from arousal - he laughs. your eyes dart over at him, startled by the sound.

"jesus christ." he keeps laughing, you furrow your brows. "I can feel your little snatch getting hot from here." he empathises the last word with a squeeze where his hand is resting on your thigh, making your jaw drop a bit. you bring your hands up to your face in embarrassment, hiding, he laughs again. "there there, gorgeous." he lifts his arm to wrap it around your shoulders instead, pulling you into his side as good as he can with your seatbelt still on. his hand cradles your head against him gently, you can feel the rumble of his chuckling in his chest. "it's alright, you dont need to be embarrassed." he coos softly, glancing down. "c'mon, let me make you feel better, hm?"

he shifts his hand down to unbuckle your seatbelt, then gently guides you into position: pulling you to sit with your back against his side, one leg up on the seat, the other down to inevitably spread your legs for him. your short dress rides up to expose your wet panties just a bit and it makes him groan when he sees it over your shoulder. "loose those." he commands gently, you follow his order. how could you not? you toss them aside on the seat, your cunt now exposed to the warm air in the truck, thick with tension now. he looks down again, another groan leaving his lips. "that's the little honeypot I got to dip my fingers in?" he croons, the words make it twitch. his hand snakes around your waist this time, quickly finding its way between your legs.

he cups your pussy, gently but firmly, giving it a teasing little squeeze. his palm is immediately slightly damp and sticky, but he doesn't care - rather the opposite. carefully pushes his fingers between your lips, rubbing along your slit slowly, as if he was looking for something - probably looking to drive you crazy. "there you go.." he whispers softly, quickly leaning down to press a kiss onto your head. "you gonna let me in again, sweetheart?"

you nod quickly, you couldn't refuse if you wanted to, you need to feel him again, to feel his calloused fingers on your sensitive walls, feeling the painful stretch of his digits - and you do. he doesn't waste any time, pushing two fingers into your wet hole, scissoring them inside you. it makes you jump and tense up slightly, face scrunching up. his fingers keep moving, stretching you out within just moments of being inside you while he speaks. "shh.. relax for me, yea? take a deep breath, it'll feel even better if you calm down.." his soft words do little to soothe you, considering he's already pushing a third finger into your poor cunt, but you want to be good for him; so you try and do as he tells you. you take deep, shaky breaths, mostly coming out as breathy whines and moans. one of your hands grabs the top of the seat, the other behind you to grab onto his thigh tightly, fingers digging into the worm fabric of his jeans.

"that's a good girl.." he smiles, kissing your head again. "you're doing such a good job listening to me.. and taking my fingers so well, too, aren't you? almost better than last time." he chuckles softly, his fingers thrusting into you faster. "missed me too, didn't you? I can feel how much you missed me." his breathing gets heavier too, unable to keep himself from chuckling again. his thumb presses down on your clit firm but not painful, starting to rub it slowly. the touch almost startles you, your sensitive nub gently squished, making your hips buck.

"Mr. Price-" You pant out, he pushes his fingers deeper as he laughs.

"so polite, aren't you? you truly are a good girl at your core." His thumb rubs your clit faster. "so well behaved, so well mannered, so prim and proper.. except for that sluttly little dress you're wearing. a bit short, isn't it?" he hums, a fourth finger squeezing in again. you were already this far last time and you can't help but wish - pray that he won't stop this time. that he won't pull his fingers out, that he won't leave you hanging again that he won't-

the car stops. so do his fingers. you feel tears well up in your eyes.

"no, nononono-" you mutter, hand scrambling to grab his wrist to stop him from pulling out. "please-" you hiccup. "you can't- not again-"

he stares down at you, eyes wide with shock, but he smiles. he smiles as he watches fat tears spill down your cheeks, his skin turning white from being gripped so hard by your hands; not even able to wrap around his wrist. he watches for a moment, your choked up breathing making him chub up. "oh sweetheart.." he murmurs softly, pulling you closer with his fingers still in your pussy, the movement making you gasp loudly. "I did leave you hanging last time, didn't I?" you nod, head hanging down as you hold your grip, trembling. "I'm sorry baby. I had to." he says, but you don't listen. you just sob again, shaking your head. "you want me to go on, hm? won't leave my car if I don't, will you?" you shake your head again. he smirks.

you cry in protest as he pulls his fingers out of you, despite your iron grip he does it with ease. you sob loudly, desperately, heartbreaking. he coos at you softly, wrapping you in a tight hug against his side. "shh.. don't go crying now, I only want tears of pleasure from you, alright?" he whispers into your ear, placing a kiss underneath. "you'll be alright. Just be good and listen to me. I know you can." you sob again, but nod, trusting him this time. he smiles.

"good girl." his hand comes up to ruffle your hair, then gently pushes you away. you look back at him with you big, sad eyes, wet eyelashes blinking up at him. "don't loom at me like that. turn around." you quickly do, sitting to face him. he smiles. "lean back against the door and pull one leg on the seat, just like you leaned against me." you sniff and nod, quickly getting into position while he turns to you too. he smiles at you gently. "good, youre so good at listening to me." he murmurs, hand going between your thighs again, lifting your dress to expose your dripping, gaping pussy.

"aw, fuck.." he groans, having to take a deep breath. "look at that sloppy little cunt.. all open and waiting for me, isnt it? she gonna take whatever i giver her, won't she?" you nod quickly, he laughs softly, his thumb grazing your clit again. "how about I finally make due on my promise, hm? give her what she wants?" your eyes widen, but you nod again. John smirks, giving a nod back as his fingers slowly slide back into you - three fingers first to open you back up again, before the fourth also squeezes in. "take a deep breath 'n relax for me. tell me if it hurts too bad." he waits for you to nod again before tucking his thumb against his palm, his hand in a cone shape as he slowly starts pushing it in. your eyes widen, you hold your breath as he slowly wiggles it in; thrusting back and forth a bit to spread your slick around, until he's in up to his knuckles. he pauses again.

"alright, love. this' probably gonna hurt a bit, so hold onto something." he watches one hand dig into the seat as he plants his free hand above just above your mound so his thumb can reach your clit, rubbing it softly to help you relax - and to let the other hand grip onto his forearm. he looks up at you briefly, before slowly, carefully pushing his knuckles against your stretched hole. you whine loudly, toes curling as you tremble, an intense mix of pleasure and pain cursing through your lower belly as he works them in slowly. "almost, almost.. keep breathing.." he mutters, brows furrowed in concentration - his knuckles pop in with a wet squelch, making you cry out loudly.

John groans as he watches his hand burried inside snugly, all the way up to his wrist. "fuck.." he breathes hard, cock pressing painfully against his zipper. "such a good little pussy.." he whispers, slowly twisting his wrist. your eyes roll back and you moan loudly, but he quickly pulls one knee up on the seat and leans forward, swallowing the noise with a deep, heated kiss. his tongue pushes into your mouth as his fist starts thrusting into you, slowly at first, but your hips push back against it. he glances down, chuckling and shaking his head. "greedy fucking thing, isn't she?" he jokes softly, thrusting up into you harder. your cries get swallowed by another kiss, pussy gushing aroudn his wrist and definitely staining his seat; but he couldn't care less. all he wanted now was to make you cum all over his fist, make you shake and cry with pleasure, his thumb rubbing your clit faster, pressing down harder.

it doesn't take long before you start twitching, tensing up around him. "you gonna cum for me?" he whispers against your lips, leaning up to kiss your tears away. you try to speak between moans and sobs, but all that comes out is a hiccup. he smiles softly. "its alright, come for me. show me how much she likes me."

and you do. you come undone with a loud cry, your body shaking as he keeps fisting you through your high, legs kicking slight as the overstimulation creeps in. "there you go, that's a good girl.." he slowly his movements, kissing your forehead, taking deep breaths with you. "deep breath now." he murmurs - then pulls out with a wet pop, making you wince. he chuckles, looking at his slicked up fist, the cab of the car only lit by nearby street lights. he marvels at the sight for a moment before your catch his eye again, breathing heavy and all exhausted - and your gaping hole. his breath hitches at the sight, cock twitching painfully. "fucking look at that.." he shakes his head, snapping out of it. this isn't the time. he pulls your dress down, helping you sit upright.

"come on now. it's late, you need to sleep. I'll carry you to the door."

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writingoddess1125 · 3 months ago

Text

Honeymoon Demon Pt. 2

Kofi Request

If you'd like to make request like this one. Press Here!

Kurt Wagner x Female Reader

Warning: Smut - More Smut! Also some Fluff

Also! Don't Drink and Teleport. Drink and Teleport responsibly

Masterlist <<

Part 1 << Part 3 >>

You felt truly lucky.

This was possibly the most fun you'd had in years and it had only been a week in to your honeymoon with you lovely husband.

You still had no Idea how Kurt knew how to plan such a wonderful Vacation for the two of you. But you were so thankful he did.

While the cabin Kurt had rented was fairly secluded, It was for him at least a few 'Bamf' From a nice little town- One he was clearly very familiar with as he seemed more then comfortable there as well as the people there also seemed to be oddly unfazed by him, a very welcomed change from what you were used to.

You felt spoiled rotten truthfully, He took you to nice places to eat, having you try anything to your hearts content, Going shopping with you, Taking you to beautiful breath taking locations in the area-

It had been utterly magical.

Especially the sex-

It was damn near witchcraft the things he did to you.

It had been only a week but you'd been bent every way you thought possible and some ways you hadn't know were possible by the 'innocent' blue elf himself. Paired with what you'd quickly learned could pounce at any given moment.

It course it was always welcomed, especially since you knew how good it would be each time. Even if it left you wobbling like a newborn deer and not knowing what direction you where in.

But truthfully it had all been fun, a great time and a wonderful way to kick off your marriage to the sweetest man on earth.

Who by the way..

Was currently taking his 3rd Klopfer (for US a Shooter/99) while you chugged a glass of some sorta sweet brandy.

"Whats this festival for again?"

"No Idea! It could just be a wedding!" Kurt admitted with a laugh as he hands you another glass of the sweet brandy and takes another shot himself-

What was suppose to be a classy relaxing dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in town, was quickly throw out the window when the two of you saw the party starting up at the start of sunset.

The two of you grinning like devils as you guys decide a celebration is a celebration!

Going through the crowds of people you two ate and drank, Kurt managing to speak his way through as people invited you two to join them in different areas.

It was well into the night that the music started up- as everyone started to dance what could only be like a small club in the street.

Both of you tipsy at this point, Laughing as the two of you danced together, Truthfully you didn't know what song you were hearing or what others where probably seeing in terms of dancing- However it didn't matter.

All that did matter was the both of you.

Arms wrapped around each other and just enjoying one another there on the dancefloor spinning around like both of you had two left feet. Giggling and swaying against each other in stupid joy.

Kurt staring at you like he was falling in love all over again, seeing how your face lit up with a bright smile when you two stumbled through the dance.

He took the moment placing a kiss on your lips as the two of you started swaying to the far too high energy music. His tail wrapping around you tightly making sure you were pressed tightly to him. The crush of your bodies against each other it wasn't too hard (Ha!-) to figure out why he was pulling you closer to him.

Realizing quickly of your husbands little predicament.

The kisses started to deepen and you two giggled, You glance around quickly and gesture to the near by alley just out of view. Kurt smiling as the two of you tried to sneak off to the darkened space away from the eyes of everyone.

The second the two of you were at least somewhat hidden, Immediately your hands couldn't leave each other. Kurt's hands finding their way down your body palming your ass whole the other securing you against him by your hip.

You cant help but move wrapping one of your legs around his waist, giggling at the sloppy peppered kisses Kurt laid on your neck, face and lips. He all but growled, Traveling down as he nipped your skin as he rolled the clear erection barely held behind the zipper of his jeans against you.

Love bites already blooming on your skin as you cant help but let out peppered moans rocking yourself against him. From anyone unfortunate enough to take a closer look down that alleyway it may look like some sort of demon feasting on a moaning woman against the wall.

"Let's get back to the cabin~" He whispered in your ear. You nodding quickly knowing that fucking in a alleyway would most likely be a no no in such a small town.

Nodding quickly you don't even bother to hide your desperation. Kurt holding you tighter some how as you feel the two of you 'Bamf' Away back to your little love nest. You realized you two where slightly off the cabin- down the little slope of the cabin just a few meters away, Most likely due to him still being tipsy.

But it was more fun this way anyway- You smiling as you pull away from Kurt hearing him whine for a moment, you teasingly looking at him as you take off your top to toss at his face and start to run towards the cabin.

Kurt taking a moment to realize what you'd done before sprinting after you with a cackling laugh.

Turning back to see him quick on your ass, His smile and eyes seemingly glowing as he caught you easily by your hips on the porch his lips finding you once more as his tail opens the door.

Stumbling in you guys cant even take your hands off each other at this point, Lips locked as you guys end up in the closest area- The kitchen.

You smile as he pulls you to the countertop, Staring up at you with a look that could only be described as awe. His tail swishing behind him so hard it cuts through the air.

Quickly you pull him in close, The space between you two now gone as he practically devours your lips once more. His hands quick to get rid of your pants tossing them away and pushing your underwear down with his tail as well. You couldn't help but shiver a bit at his quick action, the could counter and his eyes. Catching a glimpse of those yellow orbs through the fog of the kiss-

Starved.

You only got the quick sound of his zipper before he pushed into you almost desperately- Greedy really. You greeted by the familiar stretch of him that left you reeling, A loud moan leaving your lips which he swallows down quickly.

He isn't Patient- Especially now with seeing you like this. Flushed, Already so sweet on him. Kurt wasn't even sure if he was tipsy from the alcohol or you-

However that didn't even matter at this point.

Snapping his hips up to you, He leaned over your form trapping you there. Your hands sprawling out as you try to get some sort of grounding by the snap of his hips, Knocking the air from your lungs as you feel the tap of the cabinet behind your head.

"Fuckfuckfuck!-"

You all but yell out, His movements fast, hard and you sure hammering you into the countertop itself. So much so soon- Relentless as he seemed to want to drive your orgasm out of you, rip it from you like it was his to take.

Which it really was at this point- As long as he could make you feel this good.

Kurt stares at you damn near hungry- your body shaking and wrapping tighter around his waist as he could see you already close to the edge of bliss, watching the way your face twisted in bliss. You were in another plane of existence at this point, Feeling the wood of the cabinet behind you shake as something tumbled from it- It didn't sound like glass so it couldn't be that important.

"Close Close!-"

A short warning ripping through your throat, however knowing it was useless. Feeling that wash of suffocating bliss wrap around you- cumming around his cock with a loud moan, Panting hard as you feel him still moving, but while you expect him to continue to drive you further into the damn counter-

He slows?

Slowly rolling his hips slow and deep into your cunt, Your toes curling at each painfully slow action. A broken almost sobbing moan leaving you at the almost torturous action.

Your thighs shaking hard already by this point, Kurt keeping your hips in the same spot not allowing you to squirm away. Slowly hitting your G-Spot and pulling back out making sure you felt each inch of him throughout your body.

"F-Fasterplease!~"

You manage to choke out, a few stray tears of what could only be described as pained ecstasy hitting you. Your fingers digging into whatever your fingers could grasp, trying to rock your hips into him however he wouldn't let you. Speaking to you in a mocking sugary tone.

"Nein, Liebling~ Sie werden sich gut fuhlen"

You whimper out pathetic little moans, Head pressing against the wooden cabinet behind as you beg your husband, Your legs tightening around his hips in a desperate attempt to let that crash of bliss hit you, not to slowly drown in it. Like he wanted to drag you deeper- making sure that you couldn't take a breath or think that he could only fuck you silly with harsh shattering thrust.

He would slowly wring this one from you-

Leaving you gasping and crying out in slow agonizing bliss, Feeling him continue his pace to drive you mad- he cooed soft encouragement of whispered rewards.

Finally as if knowing you where almost at the point of no return he pulled a hand free and pressed a single digit against your clit- not even to circle just pressing softly which felt like a electric shock through your system- The final little push to set you off.

"Cum for me schatz~"

As if undone by his command you let out a loud almost squeal of a moan, Back arched on the countertop as you see spots in your vision cumming around him then and there. It felt difficult to even get air in your lungs by that slow build orgasm. He hissed, Teeth gritting as he felt the damn near vice like grip from you, his hips stilling as he came- A few breathy curses falling from his lips.

Having leaning too far back you slide off the counter a bit, Kurt however easily grabbing you as the two of you settle on the kitchen floor. You leaned forward against him, your body still shaking around him as you tried to come down from your high.

"Look at you, We are so early in the night and you are shaking already Schatz. So cute~"

He whispered softly, Knowing damn well his sweet words could barely be registered when you're like this.

You seated on his lap now still connected, Kurt hands on your hips as he kept you steady rubbing circles in your skin. His tail traveling up your spine shedding the last bit of fabric from your body- Your bra tossed elsewhere.

Whining softly as you can feel the scratch of his jeans against your bruised thighs, and warmth of his cum roll down knowing damn well those jeans were ruined by this point as he still hadn't bothered to take them off.

A part of you thinking he wanted it this way..

His hands rubbing up and down your back as if he could soothe away the waves of bliss coursing through you. Purring softly in your ear and nipping the parts of your neck he knew made you moan.

"You know the rules, You have to nod if you want more~"

Kurt mumbled softly, his eyes now locking onto your face seeing the way still cock drunk look in your eyes before you nod quickly- It was always too much but you always wanted more.

Placing a soft kiss to your lips as a soft reward. He started to slowly guide you, Bouncing you on his cock as he watched your face. How you leaned your head back in bliss as you felt him nestled in the deepest parts of you- like he had somehow found a new part of you to claim as his own. You left what remained of thoughts get wiped away with each rock of your hips, a sloppy moan hiccupping past your lips.

"Thats It~"

He purred, Loving those sweet moans leaving you. Chasing your own high as you started your own pace, your chest pressed against his as you pant and whimpered. Your hands find their way to his clothed shoulders, face pressing against his neck soaking in the smell of his cologne as you let yourself fall victim to your lust drunken self.

You can only let out gurgled sloppy moans against him- Feeling like a desperate little thing. Rocking your hips against him feeling that shock of friction to your clit and depths of his cock, Rutting against him as he whispered sweetly against you on the kitchen floor. It would be humiliating if it didn't feel so damn good.

Feeling how your hips already started to shake and grow uneven, Kurt darkly chuckling as he feels this.

"Already? Awww~"

He cooed, A twisted little grin going over his lips at the sweet sight. Feeling you nod against his neck as clutch him closer to you, moving your hips faster against him driving towards that high.

Oh he couldn't help it, He just couldn't help it.

Feeling the way you held onto him, how tight you felt and how you managed to whimper his name through those moans. It was like his own bit of heaven he got to snag between his teeth.

Kurt grasped your hips tighter as he snapped his hips up drawing out a high pitch squeak from you. His tail tightly wrapping around your torso before he thrusted like a mad man up into you, Your head thrown back as a you could only scream his name.

Your body bouncing and jolting with each movement of his, Kurt staring by how your body rubbed against him, how the moonlight shone on your skin making you truly look like his own angel.

"K-Kurt!~"

A scrambling cry, you digging your fingers in his shoulders as you felt that suffocating crash of another orgasm hit you- Shaking as a silent scream ripped through you, quivering and babbling blissed out whimpers of pleasure as Kurt held you close.

He hissed as he felt himself already so close, Hearing how you cried out his name like a mantra. It bringing him closer to the edge faster then he'd anticipated. Growling as he speed up his thrust on your slacked form, before burying himself deep- Biting his bottom lip so hard it bled.

You laid against him, body slack and truthfully in too much of a daze to think clearly, the feeling of warmth blooming inside you, a feeling you relished in. Kurt keeping a strong arm around you, panting as he caught his breath- Looking down to see the fucked dumb look on your face.

"You okay?" He whispered softly, knowing you still needed a moment to catch your bearings- truthfully finding words hard to come by so you softly nodded. Kurt carefully kissed your cheek seemingly pleased as he scooped you up and walked out of the kitchen area.

Everything still felt like a blur as you felt yourself being set down on the mattress and the sounds of Kurt in the background as he started up some bathwater, coming back to grab you and bring you on the bathroom counter.

You felt your senses finally coming back to you as you smiled at your sweet husband adding bubbles to the large copper tub, seeing him sway a bit with each step of the process, mumbling something about his legs being asleep.

He turns undressing himself, Humming a imaginary song softly before gently helping you from your seated spot, with ease you both carefully venture into the bath- Kurt tail around your waist the while time to make sure you were steady as you seated yourself between his legs in the hot water.

Leaning back against Kurt you cant help but sigh. It felt so goddamn nice, nice lavender which was already soothing your soreness and helping sober up a bit.

"This feels so good" You hum softly, feeling Kurt hum in agreement. The two of you just relaxing in the large tub before you giggle softly.

"So much for a relaxing dinner hm?" You tease, hearing Kurt give a embarrassed giggle.

"Verzeih, Mein Liebling. I just couldn't help myself, especially after seeing you like that"

You raise a brow at this and smile. "Oh, So dancing tipsy does it for you?"

"Well, I guess best way to say is I cant help but get excited at seeing you.. so well cared for and happy like that" He purred, Kissing your neck softly which made you smile and blush a bit.

"That's so Sweet Kurt~"

You hum as you feel him starting to help wash you up with careful hands. Smiling to yourself a bit.

...

Wait a fucking minute-

'-excited at seeing you.. so well cared for and happy'

You furrowed your brows at his wording as you replayed it in your mind paired with thinking how at each point he'd pounced on you, Sobriety now in full swing as you slowly looked at your husband behind you. Seeing that fanged impish grin, clearly glad you'd understood his little slip of the tongue.

Was.. Was He getting off to you- being happy?

#x reader #kurt wagner x reader #kurt wagner smut #kurt wagner x #kurt wagner x you #kurt wagner #nightcrawler #xmen nightcrawler #nightcrawler smut #nightcrawler x reader #nightcrawler x you #xmen smut #xmen #x men 97 #x men imagine #x men smut #x femreader #x wife!reader #marvel smut

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oikarma · 3 months ago

Text

look me in the eye | pt.2

pairing: max verstappen x rbr!engineer!reader

summary: the rb21 is unfixable but that's definitely not the only reason max verstappen wants you around.

a/n: "who cares what they think" bf and overthinker gf are my roman empire

part one / part two / part three

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Max doesn't give you much of a choice.

One minute, you're wrapping up post-race debriefs with your teammates, pretending that you're not reeling from his reaction to your possible departure. They're very polite and do not pry into the conversation they all obviously heard. The next, he's standing by the garage exit, jacket in hand, waiting.

"Dinner," he says. It’s not a request.

You hesitate, glancing around. "I mean, I don't think-"

"I need to talk to you." His words are softer but still determined. "Properly. Not in the garage. Not with twenty people listening."

Your stomach twists. You should say no. You should.

Instead, you find yourself sitting across from him in a dimly lit restaurant, the scent of freshly baked bread and seared steak filling the air. It's nothing fancy. Fancy means attention. It's quiet, tucked away, the kind of place he probably picked because he assumed no one would bother him here.

But Max Verstappen is not someone who goes unnoticed.

Right now he's focused, barely glancing at the menu. It feels more like a business arrangement than a catch-up. That's how it's meant to be. Max is, in the hierarchy pyramid, somewhere a few diagonal triangles above you.

"Tell me what you need," he says as his fingers tap restlessly against the table. "More support? More control over the car setup? I'll talk to Christian."

You sigh, setting your menu down. "Max, it's not just about that. It's-"

A hushed voice at a nearby table. A phone camera clicks and, judging by the kerfuffle that follows, the person who pressed the button didn't expect it to be so loud.

Your stomach drops. Max's gaze flickers over your shoulder, jaw tightening as realization dawns.

"Shit," he mutters.

You don't turn around. You don't need to. The whispers are getting louder, the occasional giggle or gasp confirming what you already know-someone recognized him. And worse? They recognized you.

Your chest tightens. This is exactly what you didn't want. Attention. Speculation. The internet dissecting every detail of why Red Bull's star driver is having dinner with one of the team's engineers. Especially after that interview. Two things that should not be happening in quick succession.

Max leans forward and his voice is low. "Hey."

You shake your head, gripping your napkin like it's a lifeline. "I need to go."

"If you leave now, it’ll be worse."

You know he's right. Storming out will just make it look more suspicious. But that doesn’t stop the anxiety creeping up your spine.

Max studies you for a moment before making a decision. He leans back, body language shifting, a small smirk curling at the corner of his lips. Then, loud enough for the nearby table to hear-

"You're overthinking. Just enjoy your food."

It's so casual, so normal, that for a split second, it throws you off. And judging by the way the whispers fade just a little, it throws everyone else off too.

Max is playing it cool. Acting like this is nothing, just a casual dinner, nothing worth speculating over.

You swallow hard, forcing yourself to match his energy. You pick up your menu again, even though you're too tense to focus on the words. "Fine," you sigh. "But if this ends up all over Twitter, I'm blaming you."

His grin deepens. "I'll take full responsibility."

Under the table, where no one can see, his fingers graze against yours. It's only for a second. It's probably an accident, you tell yourself.

You look into his eyes and you know it means so much more than just that.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

You wake up to chaos.

Your phone won't stop buzzing. The messages, missed calls, and notifications stacking up faster than you can process. At first, you think it's just another race week frenzy. Then you open Twitter.

Max Verstappen on a dinner date with Red Bull engineer. Garage romance?

Attached is the photo. A little grainy, taken from the next table over, but unmistakably you and Max. He's leaning in, smirking, looking far too comfortable across from you. You're gripping your menu like you were ready to bolt.

There are too comments to keep track of.

user1 she's been in the garage w him all season user2 Bro is dating his own engineer to fix the car 💀💀💀 user3 i fear they look GOOD together user4 is she the one he slipped up about in the interview??

You barely register the rest before Christian Horner is calling you. You pick up immediately instead of letting him go to voicemail. This is bad.

"Do you know what's happening online?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "I just saw it."

He breathes loudly-you can hear it over the phone. "Look, we don't comment on personal lives, but if anyone asks, we stick to the story. It was a casual team dinner, nothing more. Max's team is probably already handling it."

Max.

As if on cue, another message flashes across your screen.

Unknown It's Max

Unknown Don't look at twitter

Too late.

By the time you get to the paddock, the damage is done. Journalists are already circling, cameras flashing whenever you so much as breathe near Max's side of the garage. You stick next to Liam's car. You don't know what you're doing there, but he kind of does and pretends to talk with you about something he doesn't understand either. Good lad.

You keep your head down, pretending not to notice the murmurs. When you step into the engineering office, Max is already waiting.

He's scrolling through his phone. You can't see anything behind those startling blue-green eyes of his. You still can't when he looks up. "They're making a big deal out of nothing."

You exhale. "I'm trending on Twitter."

He shrugs, completely unfazed. "And?"

You blink. "And? Do you know what people are saying? That I'm-” You lower your voice. “That I'm sleeping with you for my job. That you’re-”

"Using you to fix the car?" His lips press together. Now his eyes darken, the sky before the storm. "Bullshit. Do they not know how engineers work? They fix the car anyway."

You shake your head. "It doesn't matter if it's bullshit. It's out there."

Max crosses his arms. "So?"

"So?" you echo, incredulous. "I don't want this. I don't want my name attached to you like I'm some stupid tabloid headline!"

He seems to read you. "Do you think I wanted it either? I just wanted dinner. I wanted to talk to you, convince you not to leave. Not...this."

Your anger deflates. You can't be mad at him. People are people.

Max pushes off the desk and steps closer. "Tell you what. If you want, I'll shut it down. Tell them all it's nothing, that it was just a stupid meal. That you mean nothing to me."

The words sting even though you know he doesn’t mean them.

You swallow hard. "Would you?"

His jaw tightens. "If that’s what you want."

You should say yes. You should. But he's the one waiting for you to make a choice-the choice-and you're frozen.

"I don't know," you whisper.

Is that relief you see on his face?

"Then we don't say anything."

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The orange army has risen, and it's not McLaren's. The checkered flag waves, and above the screaming engines and the crackling of team radios, one thing is clear: Max Verstappen has won again.

Against the odds, against the struggles, against a car that has fought him all season, he has done what Max Verstappen does best.

He has won.

The Red Bull garage erupts. Engineers shout, mechanics throw their arms around each other, and the pit wall slams their hands down in victory. You barely register the chaos because your eyes are glued to the screens, watching as Max slows down on his cool-down lap, his voice breaking through the radio.

"YES, LET'S GO!" His laugh is breathless. "That was so, so good. Thank you, guys. Thank you."

You exhale. He did it. You don't even recognize the warm feeling going through you because suddenly, he's there.

Before you can even process it, Max is sprinting toward the garage, helmet ripped off, his fireproofs half-unzipped and clinging to his sweat-drenched skin. There's no hesitation, no second-guessing-shouldn't he be out there?-as he skids next to you.

Your heart lurches.

You don't even have time to move before he reaches you, before his hands find your waist and he pulls you in.

"Max-" Your protest dies in your throat because holy shit he's so close. His breath is warm against your skin, adrenaline pouring off him in waves.

"You," he pants, eyes wild and utterly alive. "You made that happen."

You shake your head, flustered beyond belief. "Max, you-"

But he cuts you off, hands tightening like he's afraid you'll slip away. "No. You fought for this car. You never stopped." He swallows, chest rising and falling. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

You feel every nerve in your body short-circuiting.

Your mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Just static.

Max searches your face. He looks at you as he does his father, after a race is over. Like this win doesn't mean as much if you aren't part of it. There is one person in the world he cares about making happy...might there be a second?

You’re completely, utterly speechless.

"Lost for words?" he teases.

You shove at his chest, but your laughter betrays you. "Shut up, Verstappen."

You untangle yourself from his grasp and motion for him to greet some other of the team members. The media must be having a field day. And after the entire PR talk, too.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The celebrations are still in full swing when Max is pulled into an interview. The champagne drips from his hair as a permanent grin is stretched across his face. He's still breathless, still buzzing, still high off the win.

The reporter from Sky Sports barely has to ask the first question before Max is already talking.

"Max, that was an incredible drive. How does it feel to take this victory after the struggles you’ve had with the car?"

Max laughs easily. "Yeah, it wasn't easy. The car still isn't perfect, but today, it worked. And that's not just me, that's the team, that's the people who keep pushing-"

His words cut off for a second, his mind catching up to his own excitement. His tongue is loose, his filter nonexistent.

And then-

"-that's her."

The interviewer blinks. "Who?"

Max doesn't hesitate. "My engineer."

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Your stomach drops as you watch from the back of the garage, eyes wide as the cameras zoom in on him. He's still grinning, still glowing, and either he doesn't realize what he just said or he does not care.

"She-" he stops himself, shaking his head like he can't find the right words. "She works harder than anyone. Every problem with this car, she's been on it. I mean, I was nowhere at the start of the season, and now, we're here. If anyone deserves credit, it's her."

The reporter raises an eyebrow. "That's very high praise. Would you say she's been a crucial part of your season?"

Max tips his head back in his laughter, and it's so obvious now, the way he's still running on instinct, how he's still in the moment.

"She's been-" He stops, a flicker of hesitation crossing his face. And then, softer-too soft for someone who's just talking about an engineer-he finishes:

"She's everything."

The interviewer's eyes widen slightly, and there’s a second-just a second-where you see the exact moment he realizes what he just let slip. Max's lips press together, like maybe if he stops talking now, the words will somehow erase themselves. But the damage is already done.

Your heart slams against your ribs.

Max turns his head like he can see you in the garage. He's searching, looking for you.

You panic. You run.

But the world has already heard him. You're not just another engineer.

You're Max Verstappen's everything.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The second you step back into the Red Bull garage, cheeks flushed from your bathroom pacing and breakdown, you know you're screwed.

The looks. The whispers. The way people pretend not to be staring but are absolutely staring. Because, of course, everyone saw the interview.

The moment Max Verstappen, three-time world champion, winner of the race, decided to open his mouth and say-

"She's everything."

You could kill him.

Scratch that. You will kill him.

Your heart is still hammering from the moment you heard it, from the way he looked for you afterward, like he wasn't even the slightest bit embarrassed about saying something that made it sound like-like-you don't even know what it sounded like, but it was definitely not normal driver-engineer talk.

And now, here you are, trying to avoid eye contact with every single person in the garage while searching for the idiot responsible.

It doesn't take long.

Max, being Max, doesn't bother hiding. He's standing by the monitors, still in his fireproofs, arms crossed over his chest, looking completely unbothered. He should be celebrating. Why is he not out celebrating?

He's still waiting for you.

The moment he sees you, his expression shifts. Something smug, something amused, something that makes you want to strangle him.

You grab his arm and yank him into the nearest private space you can find.

"Max," you hiss, barely able to contain yourself. "What the hell was that?"

His brows furrow. "What?"

"What?" you repeat. "You-on live television-you called me everything."

Max blinks, looking so utterly relaxed that you want to shake him. "Yeah."

You stare at him, waiting for him to realize the problem, to acknowledge that he just threw you to the media wolves with zero warning.

Nothing. Just calm, slightly confused Max Verstappen.

"You do realize what that sounded like, right?" You press, feeling your face heat up. "Everyone's losing their minds. Twitter is exploding. Horner gave me a look. Do you know how scary it is when Christian Horner gives you a look?"

Max’s lips twitch. He's fighting a smirk and he's not winning. "I mean… was I wrong?"

"What?"

He tilts his head, like he's considering his words. "You are everything. To this team. To the car. To-" He stops himself, but it’s already too late.

He knows exactly what he said.

"Max-"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

You can't, because he isn't. Maybe you've known it all along. Maybe this is why you can't leave the stupid team, even though it's causing hair loss and severe lack of sleep.

So you don't. Instead, you grab him by the collar and pull him down. Max lets out the softest, most relieved exhale before he crashes into you.

It's not a soft kiss. It's not careful, or hesitant, or anything close to restrained. It's desperate. It's months of tension snapping all at once.

You make a soft noise-half surprise, half something else entirely-and that's all it takes.

Max groans, deep and low, like he's wanted this for as long as you have, and suddenly it's worse, because now he's tilting his head, deepening the kiss, pressing you back until you hit the nearest surface.

You don't even know where you are anymore. A storage closet? A backroom? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is him. The way he tastes like champagne and adrenaline, the way he kisses like he races. All-consuming and with only one thing on his mind.

You should stop. You know you should stop. The entire garage is just outside. Someone will notice. Someone will hear.

You thread your fingers into his hair, tugging just slightly, and Max shudders.

"Fuck," he mutters against your lips, utterly wrecked. His eyelids flutter, long lashes too. Max runs a finger down to your chin, forcing you to look at him. "You're overthinking again."

He's completely right. But you don't stop then. You relax and just let Max Verstappen take over every single thought in your mind.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

a/n: i just need a man who's bad at emotions but also so good at them

#formula one #max verstappen x reader #formula one x reader #f1 x you #f1 #max verstappen #x reader #oikarma ᯓᡣ𐭩

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sweetmisery · 5 months ago

Text

first kiss with piwon | maknae line

pairing: intak | soul | jongseob x female!reader

genre: fluff

a/n: pt 2 of sharing your first kiss with piwon, hope you like it :)

part 1 - hyung line

INTAK - Nervous Hearts

The cozy hum of the restaurant surrounded you, warm candlelight flickering between you and Intak as you sat at your table. The soft clink of silverware and low chatter of other diners created a soothing atmosphere, but you couldn’t help noticing how nervous Intak seemed.

His fingers fidgeted with the edge of his napkin, his gaze darting between you and the menu as if he were afraid to mess up even the simplest decision. You tried to keep the mood light, but a part of you wondered why he was so tense.

Then again, maybe you already knew.

Earlier in the week, Theo had let slip the reason for Intak’s nervousness.

“So,” Theo started, resting his arms on the guitar he was lazily strumming minutes before as he leaned back in his chair. “Intak likes you.”

Your heart skipped. The words hit you like a soft blow, and for a second, you weren‘t sure if you heard him right. “Wait- what?” you blurted, sitting up straighter.

Theo laughed, shaking his head. “You heard me.”

The disbelief bubbled up, and yet… it didn‘t. Not completely. You blinked at him, trying to piece together your thoughts, but all you can picture is Intak - confident, easygoing Intak - stumbling over his words the last time he talked to you. The way he avoided your eyes and suddenly seemed more interested in his shoelaces. The way his smile lingered just a little too long before he quickly looked away, a faint pink dusting his cheeks.

“You’re serious?” you asked, your voice quieter now.

“Dead serious.” Theo grinned, setting the guitar aside. “He told me himself.”

The admission sent another jolt through you. Intak told Theo? Theo, your protective, overbearing older brother? The idea was almost laughable.

“And?” you pressed, your curiosity outweighing your shock. “What did you say?”

Theo leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees as he gave you a pointed look. “I gave him the big-brother talk, of course.”

Your brows furrowed. “The big-brother talk?”

“You know, the ’don‘t hurt her or else‘ talk.” He shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Told him I’ll break his nose if he hurts you, that kind of thing. He looked like he was about to faint, though. Honestly, I think the guy’s more scared of disappointing you than me.”

You had just stared at him, completely floored. "You're unbelievable," you had muttered, pressing your palm to your forehead.

You were still processing the sheer absurdity of Theo having this conversation with Intak - your Intak, the one who practically radiated self-assurance on stage but turned into a completely different person around you.

Theo picked up his guitar again, strumming a lazy tune like he hadn’t just turned your world upside down. “You’re welcome, by the way,” he said casually.

“For what?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For giving him the green light,” he said with a smirk. “Otherwise, he probably would’ve just kept staring at you from across the room like a weirdo.”

You groaned, throwing a pillow at him as he laughed. But beneath the teasing and the embarrassment, there was that same warm feeling growing inside you.

Intak liked you.

Theo’s expression softened, though there was still a mock sternness in voice. “But just so you know, I’m watching him. And you, too.”

Back in the present, you glanced at Intak as he nervously adjusted his silverware, his expression so earnest that you felt your heart soften even more.

“You okay?” you asked gently.

“Y-Yeah,” he said quickly, though his fingers fumbled as he reached for his glass. “I’m fine. Totally fine.”

But as soon as the words left his mouth, his hand slipped, and the glass tipped over. The dark liquid spilled across the table, pooling near your plate and dripping onto your dress.

Intak froze, his eyes wide with panic. “Oh no! I-I’m so sorry!” He frantically reached for napkins, but they scattered from his hands onto the floor.

You couldn’t help it - you laughed. The situation, his reaction, all of it was too endearing.

“Hey, it’s fine,” you said, holding up a hand to stop him before he knocked anything else over. “It’s just a little spill. Don’t worry about it.”

“But your dress-”

“I promise, it’s okay,” you said, smiling to reassure him. “Really.”

He slumped back in his chair, his face burning with embarrassment. “I… I don’t know why I’m so clumsy tonight.”

You tilted your head playfully. “I have a theory.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“You’re probably scared of Theo.”

His startled laugh broke through his nervous energy, and he finally met your gaze, his expression softening. “You’re not wrong about that.”

You grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from him.”

The playful comment seemed to relax him a little, and as the evening went on, the tension between you eased. But his clumsiness wasn’t finished yet.

The cool evening breeze brushing your face softly as you and Intak strolled down the path of the park. Dinner had been a mixture of laughter and clumsiness, but neither of you seemed to mind.

Intak walked a step behind you, his hands tucked nervously into his pockets. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but you could sense his lingering embarrassment from earlier.

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” you teased, turning to look at him.

“I just…” He trailed off, looking up at the stars before glancing back at you. “I’m still kind of kicking myself about dinner. I spilled my drink, dropped the napkins… I must’ve looked so ridiculous.”

You stopped walking, stepping in front of him to block his path. “You know what I think?”

His eyes widened slightly as he tilted his head. “What?”

“I think your clumsiness made tonight even better.”

His cheeks turned pink, and he scratched the back of his neck. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m serious,” you said with a soft laugh, nudging his arm. “It’s cute when you’re nervous. You’re adorable, Intak.”

The words seemed to catch him off guard. He ducked his head, a shy smile spreading across his face.

You continued walking, spotting an empty bench under a nearby tree. “Let’s sit for a bit,” you suggested, gesturing toward it.

Intak followed and sat down beside you, though as he did, he misjudged the edge of the bench and nearly fell off. You burst into laughter as he quickly steadied himself, his face turning a deep shade of red.

“I swear I don’t normally do this,” he muttered, groaning.

“Sure, sure,” you teased, still laughing. “You’re just keeping me entertained, right?”

“Something like that,” he mumbled, slouching slightly. Then, his voice grew quieter. “I just… I don’t know why I’m like this tonight.”

You turned to look at him, tilting your head. “You don’t?”

He hesitated, then sighed. “Okay, maybe I do. It’s because… I like you. A lot. And I wanted tonight to be perfect, but instead, I’ve been a walking disaster.”

His honesty made your chest feel warm, and a smile tugged at your lips. “Intak…”

Before he could finish his flustered apology, you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His breath hitched in surprise, and when you pulled back, his wide-eyed expression made you giggle.

He raised a hand to touch his lips, his cheeks glowing red. “Wha… Did you just-”

“Yes, I did,” you said, cutting him off with a grin. “And for the record, tonight was perfect. Exactly because you were you.”

His lips twitched into a sheepish smile, and his gaze softened. “You really mean that?”

“Of course,” you said. “But just to make sure you believe me…” You leaned in again, this time kissing him a little longer.

When you pulled away, Intak looked completely dazed, his face lit up with an awkward yet happy smile. “You’re amazing,” he said quietly.

You laughed softly and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “And you’re adorable. So, stop worrying so much.”

For the first time that evening, Intak relaxed completely. The two of you sat there on the bench, your head resting on his shoulder and your fingers brushing lightly as the night carried on around you.

SOUL - One Step Closer

The clock on your desk blinked 11:47 PM, its numbers glowing faintly in the dimly lit office. Most of the staff had left hours ago, the once-bustling corridors of the label now eerily silent. You rubbed your tired eyes, a small pile of notes and schedules still waiting for your attention. You’d been organizing P1Harmony’s upcoming schedules for weeks, ensuring every detail was perfect. They worked so hard; the least you could do was support them.

As you tidied up your papers, a sudden thought made your stomach sink. My purse. You’d left it in the practice room earlier when you were running errands. Letting out a small groan, you grabbed your jacket and headed for the elevators. The practice room was on the third floor, and with every step closer, you braced yourself for the faint hope it wouldn’t still be locked.

When you arrived, however, the sound of muffled music greeted you through the door. It wasn’t just anyone practicing - this was P1Harmony’s practice room.

Curious, you opened the door cautiously and peeked inside. There he was: Soul.

Dressed in casual sweats and a tank top, his hair slightly damp from sweat, he moved to the beat with precision, repeating the same step over and over. You leaned against the doorframe, watching his determination. His members always joked that he was an “alien,” someone who could be weird and out of this world, but to you, his quirks were nothing short of adorable.

You cleared your throat gently, and Soul spun around, startled. His expression softened when he saw it was you. “Oh, it’s just you,” he said, breathing hard. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you replied, stepping inside. “It’s so late. Why aren’t you resting?”

He smiled faintly, brushing back a strand of hair from his forehead. “I needed more practice. There are still parts I keep messing up.”

“Messing up?” you echoed, incredulous. “Soul, you were incredible today. Everyone thought so.”

But his smile faltered. He dropped his gaze to the floor, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I’m nervous about the comeback,” he admitted softly. “I don’t want to mess up and disappoint the fans. They expect so much from us, and I… I don’t know if I’m good enough.”

Hearing his doubt struck a chord in you. You’d never seen him so vulnerable before. “Soul,” you said firmly, walking closer. “You’re amazing. You’re one of the most talented dancers I’ve ever seen. Your fans love you, they adore everything about you. There’s no way you could ever disappoint them.”

His eyes met yours, searching, as if trying to find truth in your words. Finally, he sighed and gave a small nod. “Thanks,” he murmured. “I needed to hear that.”

A silence settled between you, comfortable yet charged. Then, out of nowhere, he asked, “Do you want to learn the dance?”

“What?” you laughed, taken aback. “Soul, you know I can’t dance.”

He grinned, his usual playful side returning. “Everyone can dance if they want to. Come on, I’ll teach you.” Before you could protest, he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the center of the room.

For the next few minutes, you stumbled through the choreography, laughing at yourself while Soul patiently guided you through each move. He showed you the steps slowly, his hand resting lightly on your waist as he adjusted your posture or corrected your footing. His touch was warm, grounding, but it also sent butterflies fluttering through your stomach.

You felt at ease with him, even when you messed up. His laughter filled the room, infectious and pure, and you couldn’t help but laugh with him. For a brief moment, it felt like there was no one else in the world but the two of you.

Then it happened. You slipped on the polished floor, your footing giving way. Before you could hit the ground, Soul caught you.

His arm wrapped securely around your waist, his other hand steadying your shoulder. You were so close, his face mere inches from yours. His eyes were wide, his lips parted in surprise. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low.

You nodded, your breath caught somewhere in your chest. The world seemed to slow down as you locked eyes with him. Time hung suspended, the air between you thick with something unspoken.

“Soul,” you murmured, interrupting whatever he was about to say. You leaned in and pressed your lips softly to his.

Soul froze.

The kiss was soft, fleeting, but it carried so much that you’d been holding back for what felt like forever. Your heart raced as you leaned back slightly to gauge his reaction. His eyes were wide, his lips still parted in surprise.

“I… I’m sorry,” you stammered, suddenly unsure. “I didn’t mean to-”

He blinked, snapping out of his trance. “No,” he interrupted quickly, his voice soft. “Don’t be sorry.”

The corner of his lips quirked upward, a small, shy smile spreading across his face. The warmth in his eyes made your chest tighten, and for a moment, neither of you said anything.

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I didn’t plan for you to find out like this,” you admitted, your cheeks burning. “I just… I couldn’t help myself.”

Soul’s smile grew a little wider as he let out a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I guess we’re both full of surprises tonight.”

You chuckled nervously, but before you could say anything else, Soul spoke again. “You know,” he said, glancing down, “sometimes I feel like I’m not… normal. Like, maybe I don’t fit in with everyone else. The guys always joke that I’m weird, and I laugh it off, but…” He paused, his voice trailing off.

Your heart ached at his words. “Soul,” you said gently, reaching for his hand. “That’s what makes you you. The way you think, the way you are - it’s what makes you special. I’ve always loved that about you.”

The word “loved” hung in the air between you, but you didn’t take it back. You wanted him to know.

Soul’s gaze lifted to meet yours again, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that made you hold your breath. “You really mean that?” he asked softly.

“Of course,” you replied. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

He nodded, his thumb brushing against the back of your hand. The small gesture sent a wave of warmth through you. Then, after a moment, he tilted his head slightly. “So… does this mean I get to teach you the rest of the dance now?”

You burst out laughing, the tension in the room breaking. “Soul!”

“What?” he said, grinning. “I mean, you’ve got potential. I think we could make a good team.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn’t help smiling. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re stubborn,” he countered, his grin widening. “But seriously…” He hesitated, then stepped a little closer, his expression softening. “Thank you. For everything you said earlier - and for this.”

Before you could reply, he leaned in and kissed you. This time, the kiss lingered, unhurried and full of unspoken feelings. When he pulled back, his face was tinged with the faintest blush.

“You’re amazing,” he said simply, his voice steady but quiet.

You felt your heart flutter at his words, a smile tugging at your lips. “So are you,” you whispered.

He exhaled deeply, glancing toward the clock on the far wall. “It’s late. We should probably call it a night.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, though part of you didn’t want to leave this moment behind.

As you both made your way toward the door, you paused and turned back to him. “Wait,” you said, and he raised a curious eyebrow.

“What is it?”

“There’s one more thing I need to do before we leave,” you said, stepping closer.

Soul tilted his head, clearly puzzled. “What?”

You leaned in and kissed him again. This time, his lips curved into a smile against yours, and when you pulled back, he was grinning from ear to ear.

“Okay,” he said, laughing softly. “Now we can leave.”

The two of you walked out of the practice room together, the quiet hallways of the label feeling a little less empty as your footsteps echoed side by side.

You didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but for now, you were content.

JONGSEOB - Unexpectedly Us

The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky, its golden rays seeping through the narrow windows of the studio as you stepped into the familiar building. Your phone buzzed in your hand, and you glanced at the message again. It was from Jongseob: “Can you come to the studio? I need help with something.”

Your heartbeat quickened, though you weren’t sure why. You had been by his side for years now: his best friend, his constant cheerleader, the one who always answered his calls. But there was something about him asking for your help in moments like this that made you feel… special. Maybe it was because you’d seen his journey from the very start, since the first time he nervously auditioned as a trainee, barely daring to dream of becoming an idol.

When you reached the door to the recording studio, you heard muffled sounds coming from inside. Pushing it open, you saw him immediately. There he was, standing in the booth, long hair tied into a half ponytail, strands falling loosely against his sharp features. He looked frustrated, pacing back and forth, muttering words under his breath as if rehearsing something he just couldn’t get right.

You’d never seen him like this before - so wound up and on edge. Usually, Jongseob radiated a quiet confidence, the kind that came naturally with his undeniable talent. You leaned against the mixing console, watching him for a moment, hesitating to interrupt his thoughts.

Finally, you pressed the button for the booth speaker and said teasingly, “You needed my help?”

The sound of your voice startled him. He jumped slightly and turned toward you, wide-eyed.

“Yah!” he exclaimed, clutching his chest dramatically. “You scared me!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, and as your laughter filled the room, his lips curved into a smile. Small at first, but then growing wider, accompanied by that high-pitched giggle you’d always loved.

He stepped closer to the booth window, his hands resting against the glass. “I need help with this rap,” he admitted, his tone softening. “I just… I can’t get it right.”

You nodded and took a seat on the other side of the console. “Alright. Show me what you’ve got so far.”

As he returned to the microphone, you settled in, resting your chin on your hand. Watching him like this, immersed in his work, focused, and pouring his emotions into every line, made your chest tighten in ways you didn’t fully understand. His voice was like a rhythm that only he could master, each word laced with a passion that had always made your heart flutter.

But today, that fluttering feeling was almost overwhelming. You shook your head, trying to focus on helping him, not on the way his jaw tensed when he concentrated, or how his hair fell into his eyes when he tilted his head.

When he finally finished recording the verse, he stepped out of the booth, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. His long hair was slightly disheveled, and his cheeks were faintly pink from exertion.

“Well?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

You broke into applause, grinning. “That was amazing. Honestly, I don’t know why you even needed my help.”

He giggled again,higher this time, a little shy, and your heart clenched. You wanted to freeze this moment, to hold onto the sound of his laugh forever.

“I mean it,” you continued, standing up. “Why do you always call me when you need help? You could ask one of the producers, or someone with more experience-”

“Because…” he interrupted, looking down at his hands. His voice was quieter now, almost hesitant. “Because I feel like whenever you’re around, I’m at ease. The words… they just come naturally when you’re here.”

Your chest tightened, the weight of his confession sinking in.

“Jongseob…” you murmured, unsure of what to say. But before you could gather your thoughts, he looked up at you, his eyes searching yours.

“I’m serious,” he said, his tone firmer this time. “It’s not just today. It’s always been like this. Whenever you’re around, I feel different. And lately…” He trailed off, playing with his fingers nervously. “Lately, it’s been getting stronger.”

“What are you saying?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, he said nothing. Then, he lifted his gaze to meet yours. “I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling yet, but… I know I don’t want to hide it anymore. Not from you.”

Your heart raced, the weight of his words leaving you breathless. You took a step closer to him, his familiar scent enveloping you. “Jongseob…”

He held up a hand, his cheeks flushed. “You don’t have to say anything right now. I know this is-”

“Wait,” you interrupted, shaking your head. “You’re not the only one who feels this way.”

His eyes widened. “You do?”

You smiled, your chest tightening with a mix of nerves and exhilaration. “Yeah. I do.”

He let out a high-pitched giggle, the sound filling the small studio. You couldn’t stop yourself. You took another step toward him, cupping his face gently in your hands. His skin was warm beneath your touch, and his cheeks burned red.

“That laugh,” you said softly, your thumb brushing against his cheek. “That’s exactly why I fell for you.”

His lips parted as if to respond, but before he could, you leaned in, your heart pounding. Your lips brushed his, a tentative, fleeting touch, and the world seemed to pause.

For a second, neither of you moved. The soft press of your lips against his felt both surreal and electric, like a line you’d both been toeing for years had suddenly disappeared. But when you pulled back slightly, just enough to see his expression, you were met with a sight you’d never forget.

Jongseob’s eyes were wide, his lips parted slightly in shock, and his cheeks burned an even deeper shade of red. His long lashes fluttered as he blinked at you, clearly at a loss for words.

“Cat got your tongue?” you teased, your voice light, though your heart was racing.

He opened his mouth, then shut it again, his brows furrowing as he tried to process what had just happened. You couldn’t help but laugh at his expression, it wasn’t often you saw Jongseob so completely flustered.

“Yah,” he finally muttered, his voice low and shaky. He glanced down, avoiding your eyes, but the redness in his cheeks betrayed him. “What was that?”

You tilted your head, pretending to think. “Hmm, I think they call that a kiss.”

He groaned, dragging a hand through his hair as if trying to hide his face. “You’re unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath.

You grinned, stepping closer to him again. “Oh, come on, you’re the one who basically confessed first. What, you didn’t expect me to do something about it?”

“I didn’t expect you to-” He cut himself off, turning his back to you as if to regain his composure. “I was trying to be serious…”

“And I was serious too,” you interrupted, your tone softening. “I meant it when I said I felt the same way.”

He turned to face you again, his eyes meeting yours, and for a moment, the teasing stopped. The air between you grew heavy with unspoken feelings, and you could see the vulnerability in his gaze.

“Really?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re not just… saying that to mess with me?”

You sighed, stepping closer until you were standing right in front of him. “Jongseob, do I look like I’m joking?”

He hesitated, then shook his head. “No,” he murmured.

“Good,” you said with a small smile. Then, unable to resist the chance to tease him again, you added, “But seriously, you should’ve seen your face just now. You looked like a deer in headlights.”

His mouth fell open, and you could see the mixture of embarrassment and indignation flash across his features. “Yah! Don’t do that!”

“Do what?” you asked innocently, biting back a laugh.

“Make fun of me!” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “This is already hard enough, and you’re just- ugh.” He let out a frustrated groan, but you could see the faint smile tugging at his lips despite his protests.

“I’m sorry,” you said, not sounding sorry at all. “But you make it so easy. You’re cute when you’re flustered, you know that?”

“Stop,” he whined, hiding his face in his hands.

Your laughter filled the studio again, and when he peeked at you through his fingers, his pout made your chest ache in the best way. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” you said, raising your hands in surrender. “But seriously, you’re not mad, right?”

He dropped his hands and gave you a long look. “Mad?” He paused, then shook his head, his expression softening. “No. I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.”

His words sent a wave of warmth through you, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. The tension between you shifted, turning quieter, sweeter.

“Hey,” you said, breaking the silence. “You know I really do love your giggle, right? It’s kind of my favorite thing about you.”

“Why do you keep bringing that up?” he mumbled, his ears turning red. “It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not embarrassing,” you insisted. “It’s adorable. Just like you.”

His eyes widened, and you could see his ears turning an even deeper shade of red. “You’re seriously going to kill me,” he muttered, looking away.

You smiled and reached out, taking his hand in yours. “I mean it, Jongseob. You’re amazing - onstage, in the studio, and… just as you are. You don’t have to figure everything out right now. I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked down at your intertwined hands, his thumb brushing against yours, and when he glanced back up at you, his expression was softer, calmer.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. “For being here. For… everything.”

“Always,” you replied, squeezing his hand gently.

For a moment, it felt like the world outside the studio didn’t exist - just you, him, and the quiet hum of the equipment around you.

And then, because you couldn’t help yourself, you added with a playful grin, “But seriously, next time you call me for ‘help,’ at least give me a warning before you make me fall for you all over again.”

He laughed - soft at first, then louder, that high-pitched giggle you loved spilling out of him. “You’re so annoying,” he said, shaking his head.

“And yet, here you are, holding my hand,” you shot back.

He rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face told you everything you needed to know.

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vrystalius · 7 months ago

Text

Thighs, thighs, thighs 2

Kyojuro encouraged you get from him what you wanted for a while now, but how about you reverse the rolls? (Pt.2 of Thighs, thighs, thighs)

Pairing: hashira!Kyojuro x fem!reader

Includes: Thigh riding, dry humping/grinding, eating out, hair pulling (on Kyo), squirting, a shy author

Word count: 1.5k

˚✧₊⁎⁺˳༚ NSFW below — MDNI please!

You shifted on his lap and teasingly arched your back slightly and your chest pressing tightly against his, daring to spill out of your already flimsy robes. You saw an obvious struggle in his eyes, probably debating with himself if he can glance down to your plush breasts for even just a moment. Kyojuro’s hands found their place on your waist as he shifted you onto one thighs, slowly parting his legs with a teasing smile. His leg bounced up against you, rubbing right against your clothed—

“Go on. Show me how much you missed me.”

His husky words made you shudder while Kyojuro’s muscular arms slowly pull you closer to him and up his thigh. You felt his muscle tense under you. Despite him being rather demanding, you saw how flushed his cheeks and droopy his eyes were. Your husband needs you but played it off. It’s just that you can see right through him. You rocked your hip agonisingly slowly against his thigh, feeling warmth spread in your abdomen and up to your chest. Leaning forward, you placed your hand on his chest and smirked knowingly up at him as you felt his racing heart thumping against his chest and your palm. His adam’s apple bobbed up and down nervously.

“You need me just as much as I need you.”

Kyojuro bit his lower lip and whimpered quietly as his brows adorably furrowed together. His hands pushed you down further against his tense muscle. You felt his grip getting tighter. Your hips worked against his thigh harder in a desperate attempt to get just a little more pleasure from the fabric of your panties rubbing against your wetness. You prayed your husband wouldn’t notice the stain on his pants spreading and becoming more and more damp— you don’t want him to know just how much you craved him inside you!

Glancing down at his lap, you finally noticed his own need, his cock straining painfully against his poor uniform. It was twitching and forming a rather obvious stain, demanding your touch and attention. You halted in your action and teasingly cupped his growing desire and listened to the strained moan that escaped Kyojuro’s lips.

“H-Haah— Love, y-you sure you want me already?”

You shifted on his lap, now sitting directly on his clothed dick, giving it a squeeze and teasingly ran your other hand down to his belt.

“You sound like you’d finish in minutes.”

“I will, that’s why I-I cannot have you yet- I missed you too much.”

“Me or my body?”

Kyojuro let out a small chuckle, pulling you closer against his body and dragging your hips over his crotch and feeling your wetness press right up against him.

“May I say both?”

Before you could even respond, his lips founds yours and began to ravage you completely, barely giving you time to recover or air to intake. While you were busy desperately grinding down onto his length, Kyojuro suddenly slipped his hands under your thighs and lifted you off his lap, almost throwing you onto your shared bed behind you two.

“Gods. fuck, forgive me but I need you. Now. I can’t wait much longer.”

Leaning down, he wrapped your legs around his waist and pressed his clothed cock right up against you. Kyojuro leaned down to you and hungrily devoured your lips while his fingers swiftly slipped below your waistband, impatiently tugging on your panties and pulling them down. You felt his kisses travel down to your neck and your chest, him burying his face between your breasts and placing sloppy kisses all over before continuing his move downwards. He lifted your legs onto his shoulder while you shakily slip your yukata off. You didn’t quite expect him to end up taking control— Perhaps you can manage to overpower him next time.

But before you could even dwell on that thought for a second longer, you felt Kyojuro harshly bit your thigh to get your attention, licking over the mark he left as some sort of compensation.

“Look at me, please.”

You noticed his dick still painfully tenting his uniform and being completely neglected by himself, instead focusing on the delicious sweetness in front of him. His hips buckled against the mattress below to get at least a little bit of friction while his hands are busy with you. Your hand gripped his bright hair by his scalp while whimpering softly, Kyojuro placing a gentle kiss on your clit before teasingly giving you kitten-licks.

“G-Gah.. K-Kyo!-“

Your whines got louder as your hip desperately ground against his face while he hummed in satisfaction. His licks got more and more feverish, his nose pressed right up against your folds while his eyed were closed in bliss. You felt his moans vibrate against you, making you squirm and trap his head between your shaking thighs while he continued his sweet assault. Your grip on his hair got tighter and more demanding. Perverted squelching and slurping sounds reached your ears, almost making you want to cover your ears in embarrassment if only you weren’t way too lost in the pleasure you were craving from Kyojuro for so long.

His muscular arms were keeping you in place and preventing you from squirming away from him while he completely buried his face in your sweetness. His finger pinched and rolled your clit between his calloused thumb and index finger, making your eyes roll back into your skull feel like you’re about to ascend to heaven and greet the first of the flame hashira’s generation to thank them personally for passing down the Rengoku’s characteristic large appetite for centuries. A loud moan accidentally escaped your lips as you almost crushingly caged your husband’s head between your thighs. You were right there, right there!—

“You’re perfect. So, so good— all for me, h-haah.”

Kyojuro suddenly pulled away completelt, leaving you out cold, mumbling against your skin while placing sloppy kisses on your thighs enclosing him. His jaw was covered in your sweet juices, his lips deliciously glistering in the light of the setting sun peeking through your blinds.

“G-Go back, g-go-“

You harshly tugged on his scalp again, trying to make him go back to what he was doing. He let out a soft whimper and subtly ground his hips against the mattress below again while glancing up at you with lovesick eyes. Kyojuro closed his eyes once more and followed your lead, dwelling back into your addicting sweetness. The lewd slurping returned while your moans got louder and whinier. You arched your back and buckled your hips up against his face, grinding against his chin, mouth and nose. You felt his tongue exploring every single inch of your insides as if trying to memorise how tight and inviting it felt for moment when you’re not around for desperate times. His moans matched your volume as his licks and slurps got more feverish, knowing that you are oh so close. One of his hands dipped below his belt as his groans intensified.

Then finally, you let out a scream-like moan, your thighs shuddering and shaking as you squirted all over his face uncontrollably. Your back lifted off the bed and arched while you pulled your husband away from you, finally letting go off his hair. Kyojuro followed close by, burying his face in your thigh and harshly bit down on the soft flesh to muffle his own pathetic moans. Tears pricked in the corners of his eyes while his whole body violently shuddered, cum leaking through his uniform.

“Th-Thank you..”

“N-No, I-I to th-thank you… Oh my gods, so sorry— you’re soaked!”

You weakly sat up and laughed at the sight in front of you; your husband soaked and covered in your juices. He simply waved you off and licked his lips with a smile.

“I don’t mind!”

“You perv, enjoying being dirty like this!”

Still while quietly giggling, you let yourself fall onto the mattress and rolled over onto your side to recover from the soul-ascending high you just felt. Kyojuro rolled over beside you and grinned up at you, leaving behind a stain that will be impossible remove from the bedsheets. Both yours and his juices.

“Your pants.”

You pulled your husband closer by his belt and inspected the large stain on his poor uniform.

“Ah, I can just ask for another one. Do not worry..”

“Mh.”

Not having enough energy to either acknowledge what he said or scold him for not removing his pants, you buried your face in the nearest pillow you found and closed your eyes for just a moment to rest. He watched you closely with a slight smile, having dearly missed that sight after being either too tired to properly admire you in bed or not being home altogether. You felt soft sheets being wrapped around your naked body, a small smile forming on your face.

“Thanks.”

“Always, my sun.”

“…Please go shower and change, I don’t wanna cuddle with my dirty husband.”

“Right.”

💠

I yelled “how the hell do you write smut” over five times while writing this and I have now new profound respect for all authors that write NSFW. Anyways, I hope this wasn’t too terrible XD

Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough <33

Take care of yourselves <3

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likeumeanit9497 · 6 months ago

Text

gummy bear | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: matt and y/n have plans to get high and watch movies, but what happens when the movie they pick makes y/n confess to a dirty dirty secret?

warnings: fingering; oral (f receiving); overstimulation; edging; dirty talk; use of vibes; whips & chains (hehe); consumption of edibles; overall these two are DOGS; 18+

notes: whew! i fear this was a bit long winded. i luv freaky deaky matt so let me know if y'all want a pt 2 with these two bc as matt said, they aint done yet ;) love u all lots hope you've had an amazing start to 2025 <3333

“Come on, help me pick out a movie.” Matt whined from his place on the couch beside me. His voice sounded far-off and slightly distorted, and all I could do was dissolve into a fit of giggles. “Holy shit,” He chuckled, “You’re feeling that edible already huh.” I finally managed to turn my head towards him — it felt like it weighed as much as a brick — making my lips mould into a slow smile. “I feel amazing right now.” Was all I could get myself to say. I watched Matt take in my face, an amused smile covering his own. “I’m feeling pretty good too.” He admitted, and I noticed his blue irises were glassy and tinged by red. “Now please look at the TV and help me choose something to watch.” He added, and I once again tilted my head so that I was facing the screen in front of us.

“No…no…no…” I whispered the words as he slowly scrolled through various movies on Netflix. My eyes felt heavy as I focused on reading the titles that Matt passed. I struggled to keep them completely focused as I relished in the almost too relaxed feeling that the gummy bear edible had given me. Just as I was about to suggest that we should throw the movie-watching idea out and instead take a quick nap, one title caught my attention. “That one!” I practically exclaimed, suddenly filled with a burst of energy.

“What? You want to watch Fifty Shades of Grey?” Matt’s voice was filled with humour, likely shocked at my suggestion. Him and I had only just recently become friends, so there was a high probability that he couldn’t tell whether or not I was joking. I turned to face him again and lifted my shoulders in a quick shrug. “Dakota Johnson is hot.” I replied matter-of-factly. Matt stared at me for a moment with droopy eyes, but it wasn’t long before he shrugged his shoulders and clicked on the title.

I curled into my side of the couch as the movie began to play, feeling as though I was sinking into the dangerously soft cushions. As the minutes ticked by, neither of us spoke much; we were both settled into our own little worlds as we aimlessly watched the movie. My eyes were so heavy as the THC flowed through my veins, and I continued to fight the urge to drift off into a deep sleep.

After a while, the first sex scene was beginning and I suddenly found the movie to be hilarious. I burst out into a fit of uncomfortable giggles and covered my eyes with my hands as the scene began to quickly heat up. “What?” Matt giggled and nudged me gently with his foot. “You’re the one who wanted to watch this movie.” I continued to giggle and kept my hands over my eyes, but peered through the slits of my fingers to catch a glimpse of the characters on the screen.

My giggles faded out as the room suddenly grew heavy with intensity. The room was so silent outside of the groans and gasps that fell from the actors’ mouths, I could hear my own breathing hitch at the sight of the whips and chains. I began to lose my grip on reality as I became hypnotized by the rhythmic actions of the people on the screen. I felt both lighter and heavier as my pulse quickened and my body temperature rose; so conscious of Matt’s very much alive body right there beside me. I knew I couldn’t entirely trust my own mind, but I was almost certain that I could see his own chest rising and falling more rapidly than it had been before, and knew that I wasn’t hallucinating when I saw him pull a blanket over the straining fabric on his lap.

Still, my eyes stayed trained on the screen, now completely transfixed by each word and action that was expressed. I had seen the film before, but the gummy had somehow made me feel like I was there; right there in that dimmed room. I could feel what the characters were feeling, and had to stop myself from moaning in sync with them. I had been put in a trance. A trance so potent that I couldn’t stop the words from spilling from my lips. “I’d like to get fucked like that.”

They were so muted that I almost missed them myself, or even believe that they were just in my head and not spoken aloud. But my trance was suddenly broken by Matt’s voice. “What?” There was a ringing in my ears, and I felt the familiar warmth of shame travel up my neck onto my cheeks. Even I had shocked myself with my vulgar choice of words, and I could only imagine how shocked Matt was. My mouth was so dry — both from the gummy and my shame — I couldn’t reply even if I wanted to. Still, Matt repeated his question.

“What did you say?” This time, there was a hint of humour laced in his words, which eased my humiliation for a moment; still not enough to face him but enough to clear my throat and attempt to speak. “I…I don’t know.” Was all I was able to say, my voice wavering slightly. Matt stayed silent at my response, seeming dissatisfied by my answer and lying in wait for more. “It just seems so…thrilling. Literally handing your body over to someone to use however they’d like.” My voice wobbled and was basically a whisper, but Matt’s sharp intake of breath beside me told me that not only had he heard it, but now had confirmation that he had understood my first remark correctly.

The silence between us grew, and seemed to go on for hours. The room was so still that, if not for the lingering heaviness of my words, I could close my eyes and pretend that Matt wasn’t there at all; that instead I had just shared my deep-seeded fantasies with an empty room. But I turned my head and saw him through my droopy eyelids, staring at me with an expression on his face that I couldn’t read. Finally, Matt released a forced chuckle and blinked a few times. “You’re just high Y/n.”

He turned back to face the movie, putting an end to our uncomfortable conversation. I felt my cheeks flush to an even deeper shade of red as I continued to stare at his side profile. His jaw flexed and seemed to stay in that stern expression as I allowed myself to get lost in my shame. Why the fuck would I say something like that? Matt and I were just starting to become good friends, and I surely just ruined everything by making him think I was some sexual deviant. And why did I choose to make that typically buried confession to him of all people? I hadn’t even exposed that fantasy to my friends who I had known for years, let alone any of my past boyfriends.

Suddenly, my brain that had been moving in slow motion began spiralling as I questioned what this all meant. Why had I blurted that out so mindlessly? Did I just have some subconscious trust of this man who I only became friends with a few short months ago? Could it all be blamed on the fact that I was stoned, like he had implied? Or was there another reason. Could I have made that confession with the hope that he would help me bring my fantasy to life?

With a racing heart and ragged breaths, I continued to stare at his profile. He was attractive, that was just a fact. His features were so sharp, his expression so soft. Even without viewing him head-on, I could see the blue in his eyes; the late-afternoon sunlight making them look nearly transparent. He had a slight stubble across his sharp jawline that trailed up onto his sunken cheeks, and it framed his pale pink, slightly chapped lips. He was leaning back on the couch, his soft brown hair feathered against the off-white cushions. His feet were planted to the floor, and his legs were slightly spread in a way that gave him a hypnotically masculine silhouette. To his right was a throw pillow, and I became transfixed by his long fingers as they mindlessly toyed with its fabric. They rotated between two fingers making slow twirls against the extra material and his cupped hand running against its plush curves, in much the same way they would move along my—

I snapped my head back to the screen in front of me, using all the self control I had to not slap my hand over my mouth at the shock of my own thoughts. My mind was reeling with equal parts desire and shame, and the gummy made me suddenly paranoid that Matt could somehow read my mind; where he would find a deeply unsettling image of him and I. I squeezed my eyes shut, beckoning myself to think of something, anything else. I opened my eyes as quickly as I shut them to try to get myself to just focus on the movie, but when I did all I saw was exactly what I was imagining in real time and knew that I had made a mistake.

Suddenly, I felt a wave of panic and the need to stop watching this movie. “I’m so tired.” I blurted out, even though I felt like I had been lit on fire. Without hesitation, Matt paused the movie; proof that he was also deeply uncomfortable. “Me too.” He turned to face me, his cheeks tinted a pale pink. “You can go sleep in my bed if you want. I’ll…I’ll just rest out here.” He seemed flustered, and for a moment I thought he might have actually been reading my mind all along. “Are you sure? I don’t mind…” Sharing? “I don’t mind sleeping out here.” I finished, but already Matt was shaking his head and getting comfortable on the couch. “No really, I’m good out here.” He replied, avoiding eye contact with me.

With a curt nod, I stood up from the couch and headed into his bedroom. It was dark, the blinds blocking out any light from outside, and it seemed to be about 10 degrees cooler in there than it had been in the living room. As I shut the door, my heart continued to race thinking about the fact that I had officially created unwarranted awkwardness between Matt and I. Slowly, I crawled into his bed. Although I had been sure that my humiliation would prevent me from being able to truly rest, as soon as my head hit his pillow I was engulfed in a wave of pleasurable exhaustion. As I closed my eyes, my heart rate slowed and my breathing became more even, and I rapidly fell into a deep, all-consuming sleep.

𓆩☆𓆪

I was startled awake by the sound of a door creaking open slowly, and immediately felt all of my senses ignite. With my eyes still closed, it took me a moment to remember that I wasn’t in my own bed, but the familiar smell of Matt in the pillow and blanket brought me to reality. I could feel a soft wash of light against my closed eyelids, and realized that the door was still open yet I couldn’t hear any noises. I finally heard soft footsteps before the door creaked shut, filling the room with absolute darkness once again. For a moment I thought that maybe it had just been Matt checking on me before retreating to let me sleep for longer, but then I heard more footsteps; not heading away from me, but instead heading towards me.

I stayed as still as I possibly could as I waited to see what was going to happen, though I felt my body begin to vibrate in anticipation. There were no more footsteps, and I knew that he was now standing at the edge of the bed because I could hear his ragged breathing and feel waves of his nervousness behind me. After what felt like hours of aching silence, I suddenly felt the bed sink and the comforter lift slightly, and my breath hitched in my throat. I did my very best to pretend like I was still asleep, but my heart had begun racing so violently at the feeling of his warm body hovering just inches from mine that I was sure that he could feel it radiate through the mattress.

The weight of uncertainty had crept into the room upon Matt’s arrival, only now it felt mutual. Matt stayed perfectly still behind me, and although I knew he was very close, he had still not touched me. And so I waited for that touch, because I knew that once I felt his touch, it meant that his uncertainty had dissipated and I could stop hiding from my shame. Time continued to tick away, and in the darkness and the intoxicating tension of the bedroom, it felt bleakly infinite. I felt as though I was a ticking time bomb that could explode at any minute, and only he had the power to diffuse me. I neededhim to touch me. I needed it in the way that a plant needs water. I needed it in a way that I had never needed anything before. So when, after what felt like a lifetime, his knuckles finally brushed ever so gently against my bare shoulder and his voice softly whispered my name against my ear, my entire body shuddered and I released a breath that I hadn’t even known I was holding.

I turned to face him, and even though in the darkness I couldn’t see much more than his tentative eyes of glass, I could feel all of him beside me. I stared at him in silence, unsure of whether I should speak or simply let him say what he came into the room to say. “Are you still high?” He asked, his voice a delicate whisper between us. I took a brief moment to figure that out. My body didn’t feel like jelly anymore, and neither did my brain; all of me felt electric. “No.” I answered honestly, my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness so that I could now make out the curious expression on his face. He paused for a moment, seeming to think about his next words. “Did you really mean what you said on the couch?”

My mouth dried out and there was an overwhelming ringing in my ears from the sudden realization that we were really talking about this. Not trusting my voice to be clear and confident, I simply nodded my head nervously. As I did, I swear I could see his pupils dilate. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Did you want me to…help with that?” I felt my panties immediately dampen at his words, and the same dirty thoughts that I had on the couch immediately began swimming through my mind again. Slowly, I adjusted in the bed so that I was fully facing him, and I felt my bent knees brush against his stomach under the covers. His eyes burned into my own as he waited for my response, and in an attempt to ease the intensity I grabbed the hand he had used to graze my shoulder and began toying with his fingers. I kept my eyes glued to them as I explored his knuckles and fingernails, before finally responding. “Could you?”

I felt him intake a sharp breath, and my eyes fluttered up to his just in time to catch his overwhelmed reaction. He pulled his hand out of my grasp and instead used it to cup my cheek as he nodded. “Yeah, I could.” He replied softly, brushing his thumb against my plump lower lip. “But if I do, I need to know exactly what you want.” His eyes were glued to my mouth, and I smiled before playfully biting the tip of his thumb. “I want you to use me however you want.” I whispered before slipping his thumb into my mouth and sucking it slowly. “Fuck.” He hissed softly as his jaw went slack.

“Okay,” His other hand found the small of my back and he pulled me into him. “We…we’ll need a safe word then.” He continued, and at my new close proximity to him I could feel his heart racing in his chest in the same way mine was. With a pop, I let his thumb drop from my mouth. “How about gummy bear?” I replied in a whisper as his hand wove through my hair; bringing my mouth closer and closer to his. A content hum fell from his lips. “Gummy bear it is.” He replied just before he placed his open mouth against mine.

His tongue slipped into my mouth as relief crashed down on me. I moaned into his mouth as his hands traveled all across my body. His kiss was harsh and deep, but his gentle caresses against my thighs and ass as he pulled me even closer to him was a calming paradox. Our breath grew more and more wild as the kiss deepened, and I couldn’t stop myself from bringing my hand to his crotch; where I found his rock hard member straining against his sweatpants. I palmed him firmly, taking as much of his cock in my hand as I could so that I could feel all of its veins and ridges, before slowly stroking him through his sweats.

He groaned against my mouth before seductively biting down on my lower lip. My eyes fluttered open and I found that his were already piercing into me; the colour slightly glazed over by his arousal. His hand tightened on my ass while the other stiffened against the back of my neck. We watched one another as my hand worked against his clothed member, mouths parted as we fell into a trance. Suddenly, Matt’s eyes went a thrillingly dark shade of their usual blue and his grip on my neck tightened. He shifted and was suddenly on top of me, supporting himself with his arm while still pinning me down. I gasped as I looked up at him, feeling the heat of his cock pressed against my aching core.

Very slowly, Matt leaned down to my ear. The heat of his breath made goosebumps raise on my skin, and he nibbled on my earlobe before whispering into it. “You’re not going to touch me until I say.” My breath hitched in my throat from his words, but before I could recover he began tugging my shirt over my head. The cool temperature of the room hit my tits, and I felt them pebble against it. Matt took a moment to admire my breasts, running his thumbs along the sides of each before finally grazing my nipples. I gasped at the contact and squeezed my legs shut in an attempt at releasing even an ounce of the pressure that had been growing intensely between them.

Noticing this, Matt moved his attention to my lower half. Slowly, he ran his hands down my chest to my bare stomach, his eyes traveling along my skin in unison with his hands. He finally reached the waist band of my sweats, and quickly hooked his thumbs under them; removing both my sweats and my soaked panties in one swift motion. My total exposure sent a new wave of arousal through me, and I felt my legs tremble as he took his time admiring my naked frame. A satisfied groan fell from his lips as he ran his hands up and down my legs, and I subconsciously widened them as an invitation to the place where I needed his touch the most.

With my wet cunt spread for him, Matt’s eyes fell to it and I swore I could see the sheer hunger in his eyes. I watched in anticipatory awe as his frame bent in the middle until his mouth was just centimetres away from my core. So close I could feel his breath against my clit, my eyes shut and my hips bucked in frustration just before his warm mouth enclosed my nerves; bringing with it a wave of pleasurable relief. That didn’t last for longer than a second, as he simply planted a wet kiss against my clit before straightening his body again. My eyes flew open in confusion, and my cunt began to pulse as his kiss against it had done nothing more than intensify my need for him.

“You want me to use you?” His deepened voice cut through the once-silent room, and its gruffness made me jump slightly. I nodded my head, squirming under his gaze. “P-please Matt.” I added, wincing at the undeniable desperation laced through my voice. He continued to stay on his knees looking down at me for a moment, his eyes drinking me in for what could have been days. I relished under his gaze, but grew antsy for his touch. Reading my mind, Matt blinked back to reality and climbed off of the bed. I stayed perfectly still, but my eyes followed his frame as he slipped his shirt off and walked into his closet. From the top shelf, he pulled out a fairly large box and brought it back to the bed.

From my position, I couldn’t see the contents of the box as he began to dig through it, but it was obvious that he was looking for something in particular. Finally, he took some objects out and placed them on the bed. With each new object that I could see, my heart began to race quicker and quicker. First, a short whip with what looked like fringe at one end; second, some sort of black leather straps; and third, a small vibrator. Content with his collection of items, Matt closed up the box and placed it on the floor beside the bed.

As he straightened up, his dark eyes shot straight to mine, and I felt as though he was looking straight through me. I swallowed, partially nervous and partially excited, as I watched him pick up the whip with one hand and the leather straps with the other. “Remember the safe word?” He asked huskily, and I gasped at the feeling of the leather fringe as he dragged it across my right arm. I nodded quickly as I felt him wrap one of the leather straps around my wrist. I cried out in pleasure as it suddenly tightened, and when I tried to move it I realized that he had strapped me to his bed frame. Once he was satisfied with that wrist, he trailed the whip back down my arm, over my racing pulse, to my chest; where he suddenly cracked the whip.

My back arched and I cried out in shock as the white hot pain traveled through my body, but almost immediately I felt Matt’s warm tongue press against the place of contact; soothing the skin there. The whip began its travel down my sternum, over my stomach and hips, slowing down as it traveled along my inner thigh down to my right ankle. My body lit on fire from the barely-there contact of the leather, and when he tied up my right ankle I no longer felt shock, only anticipatory pleasure. Once my right ankle was secured, the whip followed its same trail, only once it reached my stomach he shifted it in a diagonal direction, dragging it along my pebbled right nipple before cracking it yet again. My body writhed again, but once again his mouth soothed the pain against my sensitive nerves.

He reached my left wrist and tied it to the headboard, so that now my upper half was completely defenceless. Instead of feeling the expected instinct to fight against the pressure and restraint, I felt myself fall into a state of uncharacteristic ecstasy. My body was completely on edge, craving his touch even more than before. Finally, he dragged the whip back down my body to my left ankle, and when I felt it tickle against my hip bone my core began to drip with my arousal. With all four of my limbs spread apart and tied to the four corners of the bed, I was on full display for him for do whatever he wished with me; just as I had requested. I looked down at him, standing at the end of the bed directly between my legs. His eyes were trained on my glistening core, his bare chest heaving rapidly in anticipation. Suddenly, he dragged the whip along my body one final time. From my ankle, up my thigh, to my swollen cunt. My eyes fluttered shut at the light contact against my clit, and I subconsciously writhed my hips for some sort of friction. My eyes were only shut for a brief moment, however, because a sharp crack against my slick folds caused my whole body to lift off of the bed.

“Fuck!” I moaned out, writhing in the excruciating, pleasurable pain against my bundle of nerves. I felt like my entire body had a heart beat, and had the urge to clamp my legs together to ease the pain. The fact that I couldn’t, that I was completely exposed and defenceless, did nothing but make my stomach flip in excitement. A bratty smirk was just beginning to grow on my face when it was cut off by a sharp squeal as electric waves of foreign pleasure began crashing through me. Looking between my legs, I realized that Matt had pressed the vibrator against my clit.

“Ahhhh s-shit.” I moaned out, my words barely sounding like words as I became consumed by the pleasure that was filling me. My eyes struggled to stay open as I watched Matt watch me; his eyes shifting from my fucked out face back down to my dripping heat every few seconds. “That feel good?” He asked in a cocky tone. I nodded my head rhythmically, growing more and more intoxicated by the pleasure that I was feeling. “S-so good.” I breathed. I felt the urge to grab onto something, grab onto him, but the best I could do was dig my nails into the hard headboard they were tied to. The room filled with the sounds of my animalistic moans and the soft buzz of the vibrator, yet still over all of that I could hear Matt breathing heavily as he watched me unravel before him.

“You look so fucking good, tied up and spread open like a good little sex doll.” Even in my state of euphoria, Matt’s confident dirty talk was startling. Only for a moment though, because I couldn’t help but reply with a guttural moan. Suddenly, the vibrations grew stronger as he turned up the speed of the sex toy, and I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer. “F-fffuck M-matt-” I cried out, my body beginning to tremble as my pleasure began to build. “You wanna cum baby?” His voice was laced with tormenting humour, and I nodded rapidly, desperately. “Y-yes! Oh god yes-s!” As the words fell from my mouth, and my orgasm was just about to overtake me, Matt dropped the vibrator from my clit and instead slipped two fingers into me.

My eyes flew open in surprise and frustration, and I watched as Matt pumped his curled fingers in and out of me rapidly; filling the room with the sounds of my desperate arousal. My walls flexed around his fingers as he pounded into my g-spot, but the orgasm that I had nearly reached had receded back into the shadows at the sudden loss of the vibration. Matt looked up at me with a smirk. “You don’t get to cum until I tell you to cum, understand?” His words, spoken in such a menacing tone, made my stomach do a flip. I bit my lip and nodded tentatively. Satisfied, the smirk fell from his lips as he focused his attention back on my cunt in front of him.

He and I both watched as his fingers disappeared inside of me again and again, coated in more and more slippery fluid each time it reappeared. Seeming to give into temptation, Matt suddenly bent down and ran his tongue through my soaked folds to get a quick taste; forcing a moan out of my mouth before quickly straightening up again. His long fingers felt amazing inside of me, but I needed more. Frustrated, I bucked my hips and released a soft cry. He chuckled softly. “You’re dyin’ for it, huh?” I gasped and writhed in my restraints before nodding my head. “Okay,” He began, and I felt relief as I heard the vibrations once again. “Then you’re takin all of it.”

Without a moment for me to react, Matt pulled his soaked fingers out of me and used them to spread me open; exposing all of my raw nerves before firmly pressing the vibrator, now on full speed, against my undraped clit. There was a moment when the room went completely silent — so silent that it was nearly deafening — as my body was hit with the shock wave. And then, a murderous scream fell from my lips at the white hot sensation that made my mind go completely blank. Immediately, my body began convulsing and lifting off of the bed like a scene from The Exorcist. I could feel the vibrations from my head to my toes, and it was an all-consuming pleasure that was almost too painful to cope with. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe; I felt like I was no longer capable of ordinary human functions.

My arms and legs fought hard against the restraints, and the sounds of my guttural cries were accompanied by clanging metal from the buckles. I was so overstimulated that I wasn’t even sure if I was capable of detecting an impending orgasm; each wave of pleasure already feeling more intense than any orgasm I had ever had before. Matt apparently could tell, however, because his suddenly gentle voice filled the room. “It’s okay sweetheart, go ahead and cum for me.”

It was as if those words held a power over me, because as soon as they fell from his mouth I was swept into a tsunami wave of my orgasm. My body shook violently against the bed; rattling the frame at my subconscious attempt at curling into myself. My nails dug into the wood so deep that I was sure that the tips of my fingers would be bloody and raw. I rode through my high, screaming incoherent words as electricity continued to surge through my body. I felt a warm gush in between my legs and watched as Matt instantly dropped to his knees and wrapped his mouth around my opening; drinking me up as I squirted against his tongue.

Finally my body slowed from convulsions to trembles, and as my cries grew softer and calmer Matt pulled away the vibrator. His mouth traveled from my opening up to my overstimulated clit, where he left one final tantalizing kiss before pulling himself back up. My tits rose and fell rapidly as I struggled to catch my breath, and I watched through my eyelashes as Matt walked over me to plant a soft kiss against my panting lips. I felt my breathing begin to steady, then, and watched as he began untying my limbs from the bed frame. As he released each ankle and wrist, he used his warm hands to sooth the raw skin before kissing them, too.

Even once I was free, I couldn’t find the energy to move. I stayed in that starfished position as he knelt beside me. He ran his hand through my damp hair, and I turned to face him. I gave him a weak smile, and he mirrored me before kissing my sweaty forehead. “Can I get you anything?” He asked, his voice so soft and sweet. I shook my head gently, and he replied by climbing into the bed beside me. Finally adjusting myself, I winced at the stiffness in my joints as I curled into his half-naked frame. He kissed my hair and I closed my eyes to enjoy the tranquil state he had put me in.

“Was all of that okay?” His voice broke the silence of the room after a few moments. I lifted my head from his chest to look up at him with a blissed smile on my face. “Well I didn’t say gummy bear, did I?” I replied with a soft laugh. Thoughtful for a moment, I continued. “I guess we didn’t really need a safe word after all.” His eyes grew playful as he brushed a stray hair out of my face. “Don’t speak so soon sweetheart,” He chuckled, running his knuckles against my cheek, “I’m not quite done with you yet.”

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

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