#He lost so much in the war and he was so Young

[pellucid-constellations]

Fable - During

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel was too late, and something was brewing. The fate of your wings rested in the balance and there was nothing left of him to reconcile with.

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: Angst, injury, violence

a/n: This is part of a mini-series but each part can be read on its own/out of order. The next part is going to be long guys <3 Thank you for reading all of this angst!!!

Series Masterlist (all parts ♡)

~~

The ground beneath Azriel’s feet must have disappeared. 

He was unstable, falling, plummeting into an unknown abyss. 

When he looked down, Azriel saw the plush carpet at his feet, but as he replayed Rhysand’s words—four words, echoing—the blur behind his eyes made the physical obsolete. We can’t find her, Rhysand had said, followed by a multitude of questions from Cassian that Azriel could not hear. Everything was buzzing and the carpet was gone. 

Where was Lucien? Azriel remembered that Lucien was to go with you. Where was he? 

He had to be dead because if he were alive and you were missing, Azriel would kill him himself. 

“Lucien,” Azriel spoke, his voice rough, interrupting the conversation he had not been part of. 

“What?” Rhysand asked. 

But Cassian ignored his High Lord’s confusion. “She was never bringing Lucien,” he growled, throwing his brother a sneer. “She only said that to make sure you went on your date. I told her I should’ve come. I told her—” 

Azriel had lost his breath. He was grappling for it, trying to make sense of Cassian’s words as his lungs began to burn, but you wouldn’t do that, would you? Why would you lie to him? Over something like this? 

“Cassian, enough,” Azriel gasped, the buzzing of his brother’s voice a constant barrier in the losing battle within his head. “Who’s looking for her? Where should we go?” 

Azriel was dressed in a ridiculous button-up shirt with slacks that now felt too tight on his legs. His sleeves were rolled up to his forearms and his shadows took advantage of the open space, trailing up to protect him from nothing. Because nothing was here—he wasn’t in danger. 

You were. 

Azriel had only gotten through drinks with Elain before the call from his High Lord sent him into the sky. He couldn’t remember if he apologized. Azriel’s shoes were pinching his feet. 

“I had just lost connection with her when I called you. I sent her to the northeast camp. There’s a possibility that—” 

Azriel was traveling through the shadows, darkness consuming him before Rhysand could finish his sentence. He should have grabbed Cassian for backup, but that was a thought Azriel would only have much, much later. 

His mind was on you—only on you. 

That wasn’t unnatural for Azriel; you were one of the most important people in his life and you had been in trouble before. Life-threatening, war-induced trouble, but somehow, this felt different. 

You had been distant lately. 

Azriel had noticed, but Azriel had also been so zeroed in on getting Elain’s attention that he figured he would have time to check on you in a few weeks. 

When he landed in the camp, the foreboding quiet made him consider that he might never get to check on you again. Illyrian camps were never quiet. There was always shouting or fighting or nagging mothers getting after their young. But the insects in the bushes could be heard in this camp, and Azriel paused amid his racing heart to make sense of the noise. 

And then he heard the scream. 

Your scream.

And he was running. 

His shoes groaned as they pounded into soft dirt and you screamed again. Azriel had never heard that sound come from you. The way it erupted into the air—it was as if it was ripped from your throat, evoked from nothing but agony. 

He pushed himself harder, faster, until the screams became closer and a small hut materialized on the horizon. The image of the quaint house brought Azriel relief, but that relief was short-lived because your screams had become tired in his journey. With each step, your voice broke more and more and Azriel didn’t even feel angry. 

The rage he expected to feel was consumed by the terror that gripped him. 

He ripped open the door and that terror only increased tenfold. 

Azriel was usually focused during battle, his mind razor-sharp. He was known for calculating every step, for remembering each life he took, and being able to recount each slice of his blade when asked for a report days later. Azriel was a warrior and a spy. 

But Azriel could not remember his actions. 

From the moment he opened the door and found you on the ground, surrounded by enemies and so broken, he lost the ability to calculate anything other than death. 

He figured a few must have gotten away because he vaguely registered that the door made a sound. But over the screams, that sound was inconsequential, and with the image of you before him, lying in your blood, chest only minutely rising and falling, everything else was inconsequential. 

He only remembered that the rage finally found him. 

Only when bodies littered the floor did the anger make way for the visceral fear that came with reaching for you—grabbing you as you let out small, weak sounds and took labored breaths. 

“Y/n?” Azriel stressed, eyes roving over your figure with haste that his hands couldn't match. He had to be careful; so much of you was broken. “Y/n,” he spoke again, as if the echo of your name would somehow fix you, snap you out of the hurt. 

Azriel’s breath quivered. His scarred hands hovered over your skin now, afraid to touch you more than to bring you into his arms. His fingers shook. Your wings—it was your wings. 

“You’re okay,” Azriel affirmed, whispering only to himself. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” 

Salt tainted the surface of his tongue, and Azriel then recognized that he was crying. Fat, heavy tears blurred his vision and fell into his mouth as he repeated his mantra into the stagnant air. 

Your wings looked beyond repair. When Hybern destroyed Cassian’s, the roots remained. The delicate flesh was burned and torn, but regrowth was still feasible.

Only small pieces of the membrane along your back remained. 

Azriel’s soul wept. 

You groaned, and Azriel stopped his inspection of your back, his hands brushing your hair off from where it stuck to your skin. 

“Y/n?” he tried again. “Can you hear me? I’m—I’m going to bring you home, okay? You’re going to be fine, I promise.” 

He shouldn’t have promised that. His voice broke as he spoke the words and Azriel knew he shouldn’t have promised that because you only let out a broken rendition of ‘my wings?’ that Azriel had no response to. He only squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead to your temple before shadows consumed him once more. They had been rampaging around the pair, whispering worried, angry words in Azriel’s ear, but they remained faithful. 

They brought you home. 

Mor screamed first. 

He assumed everyone would be out looking for you, but Azriel hadn’t broken the connection to Rhysand’s mind, and they had been expecting him. His family stood before him as your blood stained the rug of his High Lord’s favorite sitting room. Rhysand was missing, gone to retrieve Madja, but Azriel was only looking for those he knew could help you. 

His throat caught on air as he frantically searched for Feyre in the room. When he saw her wide eyes, he let out a desperate, “Help her,” that sounded nothing like him. His High Lady’s shoulders rose and fell with hurried panic as she came forward and then hesitated. 

Azriel heard someone vomit in the corner of the room—Cassian, he thought—and Mor came to kneel beside him. 

“Feyre,” he sobbed. “Please. Please, try.” 

Mor was crying. Cassian had wiped his mouth and come to stand beside Feyre, but everyone was too afraid to touch you. You rested in Azriel’s arms, but even his palms remained face up and did not connect with your skin. He would break you more, he was sure of it. Your wings bent at odd angles and hung from your body by only tethered threads and no one knew what to do. 

Azriel thought that dying would be better than this. 

His button-up was stained red. 

“Fuck.” Rhysand’s voice rattled the air in the House. At some point, Feyre had broken her hesitancy and kneeled before you, a gentle glow emitting from her hands as she tried to stitch together the broken remains of your skin. When her mate appeared with the elder healer, she turned wild eyes towards him. Rhysand stood frozen, mimicking each person in the room, but he was the High Lord—a composed leader—so his reverie lasted only seconds before he was sent into action. 

“The table,” Rhysand demanded. “Lay her on the table.” 

No one moved. 

Azriel couldn’t stop looking at you. 

Madja then spoke, no, demanded, “Now.” 

The table was cleared, everything swiped to the floor with abandon. As gently as he could, Azriel rose from the floor on shaking legs and heaved you up with him, offering soft apologies as you cried out. He wished you would pass out from the pain, be free of it all, but the agonizing reality that you might not wake up struck him harder. 

“I’m so sorry, y/n,” he whispered against your hair. His body ached. Azriel leaned you against the table as the other members of his family turned you on your stomach. He kneeled to meet your lidded gaze, your face pressed against the wood. “Madja’s going to fix it, okay?” 

The healer was giving orders—Cassian to get water, Mor to support your head, Feyre for support. It was all a buzz in Azriel’s ears. He licked his lips and tried to meet your eyes, but they were trailing off, unfocused. 

“Y/n?” he tried. “Angel?” A name he had dropped once Elain came into the picture. Your lashes fluttered. His attention peaked. “It’s okay, angel. I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry—” 

Azriel was torn from his position on the ground, a heavy hand shoving him up and against the wall. His shadows remained caressing your skin, but a fist met Azriel's face and he lost sight of you. 

“This is your fault.” 

“Cassian!” Mor called, desperately pleading with no one. 

“It is,” Cassian seethed, his arm pressed to the Shadowsinger’s throat. “If he hadn’t been searching for something with a woman not even meant to be his, he would have been there. She would have said anything to ensure your happiness. Anything, Azriel.” 

Azriel blinked and Cassian’s face was inches from his own. “I didn’t—” 

“You have been blinded, brother. You’ve been blind for years and now this is the price.” 

“I don’t—what are you saying?” Azriel pleaded, trying and failing to look over Cassian’s broad wings to catch a glimpse of you. 

“Cassian, this is not the time,” Mor scolded, but the anguish burned so deeply in Cassian’s eyes that Azriel could tell he wasn’t hearing her. 

“She gave you everything,” his brother continued. “She—” 

Your scream punctuated the building tension in the room. Cassian whipped around and Azriel used the opportunity to shove him away, the Shadowsinger racing to your side once again. But, once again, he was pushed away. Rhysand held his shoulder back this time, shaking his head with a furrowed brow. 

The screams echoed in the room and they hurt. 

They hurt everyone. 

Feyre and Mor stood beside Madja, the three of them set to the fruitless task of saving your wings. A small part of Azriel spoke the truth that they were also just trying to save you. You had lost so much blood and he still knew nothing of your other injuries. 

“Rhys,” Azriel begged, beseeching him with his gaze. 

But Rhysand only shook his head once more. “They need the space.” 

“She needs me.” 

Cassian scoffed and ground his jaw, but a glance in the general’s direction found only tears and the quivering of his lips as he pressed them together. 

“You need to let them work.” 

“This is my fault,” Azriel spoke, his tone dead, lost within the echo of your screams. “I was seeing Elain,” he admitted. He met Rhysand’s eyes. “You told me not to. She lied so I could go.” 

Rhysand didn’t even look disappointed. He didn’t look surprised. He only ticked his jaw to the side and breathed deeply through his nose as your screams filled the room once more. 

Azriel flinched. The soles of his shoes were caked with blood and cracked along the stitches. 

Rhysand would have the right to be angry. He had the right to send Azriel away and force him to sit in uncertainty and the consequences of the night, but Rhysand found something familiar in the Shadowsinger’s eyes—something different. Something that Rhysand could find in himself if he were to search his mind from the night he thought Feyre to be dead. 

Impossible, the High Lord assumed, but you were still screaming and there was no time to inspect the intricacies of Azriel’s reaction. 

So Rhysand only held back the maelstrom of his own emotions, his sister broken on the table just feet from him, and kept his response to that of a leader. 

“Let them work, Azriel.”

[userautumn]

i need to have this on my blog and then i need to never think about liam payne or one direction ever again (until july 23rd. naturally.)

sitting here on the day of his funeral, i realize i have yet to articulate all my thoughts and feelings surrounding liam's death. the way he died haunts me, and the patchwork good-and-bad of his legacy in the eyes of the public is a quilt left unfinished. that bothers me the most. the finality bothers me. not in a depressing way, in an annoying way. the itch in my brain that regards death with a blase practicality goes to war with the author in me who likes to tie character arcs off with a nice, satisfying bow, but both sides hate when things are left unspoken and unsaid. that shouldn't be allowed; a person shouldn't be allowed to die when so many parts of their story are left unwritten. that doesn't seem fair. but if the concept of fair truly existed, i'm not really sure we would be here anyway.

there are so many aspects to liam's person that i have pondered over these past four weeks. and as i sit here trying to articulate these aspects in a tumblr post that is, alarmingly, shaping up to look like something of an obituary, i realize that to try to articulate these feelings is a losing battle. to do so now would be to shift all the thoughts that are currently in my head from where they are (my job and the implications of the us election) to where i'd need them to be (my youth, and the impact one direction had on my life when i was young) in order to make the words and feelings stick, and i can't (won't) do that right now.

what i will say is that liam payne was young. he burned bright like a falling star. my relentless optimism and faith in his inherent goodness believes he would have rebuilt himself one day if he'd given himself the chance. but what ifs and speculations are often poisonous and misleading and, as they will never come to fruition, they're meaningless to ponder anyway. i mourn who liam was in his youth; i mourn that floppy haired boy with the bright smile and the spoonphobia (ha.) i mourn who he was at the time of his death, a man who was lost and absent from reality because his current chapter held no joy and no hope, no promise of change. and i mourn who he never got to become, because all those version of liam payne are, indeed, versions of liam payne. and i had (and still have) so much love for that person.

i've never been a "rest in peace, i'll see you again soon </3" kind of person because, well, i've always found it to be corny, if i'm honest. (no offense or judgement to anyone who grieves that way). as mentioned, i approach death very practically and matters of the afterlife and faith are met with the same complexity. i don't know if we'll see liam again. but i do know that liam payne exists to me as he always has - as a voice playing through my speakers, as a kind face on youtube, and i am thankful for the years in which i got to exist at the same time as him. what a gift and a treasure they were.

[22hemi12]

Pairing: Silco x Gender Neutral Reader

Warnings: None

Notes: It's been awhile! So here is a one shot for Silco, I will also be rewriting my fics because they are old and cringe. May make a part two if people want it!

Requests: OPEN!

Death is never forgotten, only pushed back to the edges of our minds, being from the undercity, having seen so much death both at the hands of the enforcers and by our own people, but one death seemed to rip the fabric of our crudely stitched reality in the undercity into two.

I looked up from my glass, the deep amber liquid glittering in the dim light of the bar, a place of music and friendly banter between people, I could see Vander talking to someone from behind the bar, still hard at work, the kids had run off somewhere, like usual. Here’s to hoping they don’t get into trouble, they are young so they most likely will.

Looking back down at my empty glass, a sigh exiting my body, It’s been two years since the war on the bridge, losing so many lives… and friends, I couldn’t help but gulp down the rancid drink that burnt my throat. I never used to drink alcohol, but as it’s reaching the anniversary of that day I can't help but to. I was there that day, but further down the bridge, closer back home, where Silco and Vander wanted me, helping the injured as I wasn’t much of a fighter, if only I was, maybe I'd know the truth of what happened that day.

I looked up as my empty glass was replaced with a non alcoholic drink. Vander sat opposite of me, the chair under rhim squeaking, the chairs and table old, lighting up his pipe he glanced up to me before looking down. I knew he was trying to protect me by not telling me what happened, what happened to Silco. I will admit I liked the man, he was smart, the brains to Vanders brawn, His lean yet sturdy body attractive and god his hair, much more my type.

Sighing, I looked away from Vander and back to the bar. There is a sense of melancholy despite the loud conversation and drinking, the anniversary always makes some people sad, especially those who lost people on the bridges, the amount of sad faces drowned out by those who smiled.

“What’cha thinking bout?” I heard the deep timber of Vander’s voice, but I didn't look at him, seeing the kids return with smiles and handfuls of stolen fruit as they sneak their way back to the basement.

“You know what I’m thinking about” I heard him sigh at my words. I looked back at him, he wasn't looking at me, he’s rubbing his bracer, looking at it with the most sadness I’ve seen in his eyes, the bracer is new, he didn’t have that two years ago. “Why won’t you tell me what happened? I’m not a kid for you to protect Vander” He shook his head.

“I know that, but… It'd be easier if I didn’t…” He spoke, the usual confidence leaving, he stopped rubbing the bracer and took his pipe to his mouth and took a drag, his eyes off in the distance. 

“Easier for who? You or me?” He blew out the dark coloured smoke, a tinge of pain in his face, not from smoking but my words. “What did he do to make you not want to tell me what happened?” I leaned in closer to the bigger man, I could see an emotion on his face, one I barely see, Regret. It takes me a moment before I speak again.

“What did you do?” The thought scares me, but his expression confirms my suspicion, he did something. I stood and sped walked to the exit, my chair scraping against the wooden floor, His voice chased after me, the others in the bar watched as I left. Slamming the door closed I just walked, my vision blurring with tears and mind racing with thoughts.

When my vision cleared again I was sitting on top a building overlooking the bridges and the opulent Piltover towers in the distance, my arms tightly hugging myself, I didn’t move, I glance to my right, an old blanket and pillows, a crate of stolen wine tipped over and spilled over the ground, an old rotting plate of stolen food and two chipped wine glasses. I chuckled softly, of course I came here, as teenagers we would climb the old crumbling roof to sit and watch the sunset as it had the best view of both the water sparkling and changing colour, but the way the towers glinted. All of us came up here when we were all off work, Silco, Vander, Felicia, Connol, Benzo and I. The entire group, though sometimes it would just be some of us… last time I was up here was two years ago… with Silco.

It wasn’t a date, but I definitely saw it as that, especially since Silco went out of his way to steal the expensive food and wine, the date was cut short when two enforcers who had been trailing Silco found us, explaining the tipped wine bottles as we ran, it didn’t go the way Silco wanted but we still laughed about it once we were safely in the last drop. 

I smiled at the memories, before turning to watch the sun set, the sun glimmered against the water of the River, the way it changed colour would make anyone forget that it was polluted, my racing mind was interrupted by the sound of footsteps, the click of a short heeled boots against crumbling stone, I know it isn’t Vander as the steps are far too light to be his heavy body.

“Two years since we were both on this rooftop together” That voice, it was familiar, I turned to see the very familiar, yet different figure of Silco. I look over him to see that he’s skinnier than he was two years ago, he had cut his hair short, the most surprising is the piltovian suit he is wearing. I stood and took a few steps toward him. He's so different but not at the same time.

He has yet to turn towards me fully, I can see the glimpses of scarring on the side of his face that he isn’t turning my way.

“Silco?” he smiled softly, it didn’t quite reach his eyes like it did before. He finally turned to me fully and I can finally see why he didn’t turn until now, the other side of his face was scarred and discoloured. He looked at me like he was expecting a specific type of reaction, but that expression disappeared as I rushed forward to hold his face softly. I looked over him, almost not believing he was alive and here, I couldn't help but caress his cheeks with my thumbs. 

The shocked expression changed, he obviously wasn't expecting me to be so soft as he let go of the tenseness that melted under my touch, he sighed, his eye closing he leaned in to touch his forehead to mine, moving his hands to hold my own, for a moment I just let us stay like this, but I needed to know. “What happened? Vander… he never told me” Silco opened his eye again, Locking eyes with my own.

“He didn't?” I shake my head, making him sigh again. He let go of me and turned away towards the bridge and the river. “He… tried to kill me, drown me in the river” Silco moved his hand up to touch his face, Vander tried to kill Silco? 

I stared at him, so that's what Vander did, the reason why lost on me, why would Vander do that to who he saw as his own brother? 

“So that's why he wouldn't tell me…” He wouldn't tell me that he tried to kill Silco that night, but why? What happened between the two? Why did Vander do it? I felt Silco's hands on my arms, I looked up back into his face, his eyes bore into mine with an expression I never saw two years ago. 

“Join me, unlike Vander, I will follow through on the dream… the Nation of Zaun we wanted to build…” It's a lot to take in, that despite what Vander did, Silco is still planning to work on the dream he and Vander made all those years ago. Something deep inside me felt off about the idea of joining Silco, but the rest of me… I nodded.

“Yes… I'll join you”

[alexanderwales]

When I was nine years old, my grandfather died.

He was a life long smoker, and lung cancer got him. He died slowly in a hospital bed that had been brought into their house, and we made the trip so South Dakota as a family to watch him die.

He couldn't move on his own. He was weak and wasting away, and they needed to periodically turn him so he wouldn't get bed sores. I had never heard of bed sores before that, and I was scared of them, of the mere concept that someone could be so immobilized that their body would start to ache. His skin was thin and translucent, showing every liver spot and wrinkle in bold, and his eyes were sunken in. There was a smell of death and disinfectant in the house, warring for my nostrils.

My parents were going through a divorce at the time, so my dad wasn't with us. My grandfather, on his deathbed, told me that he wanted me to change my last name to be my mother's. It was important to him. He was leaning forward, using his limited strength to be emphatic, dry mouth forming the words.

It's kind of a fucked up deathbed request. I didn't end up doing it, mostly because I was nine, and as I grew older I started to resent the request, which had sat very heavy with me when I was little.

His sons built his coffin in the driveway. My grandfather was a woodworker, among other things, and it was their way of honoring him, but they also argued during the course of the building, and I didn't like the sounds of the power tools or the nails being driven in. It was a very plain coffin, I remember, and I always wondered where the idea to make it using his tools, in the driveway had come from. Symbolically, I guess there's something there, building the vessel of death, but at the time it just felt really off-putting and morbid.

My aunt was a doctor, and she was doing most of the work of taking care of him, helping to rotate his body, double-checking the medications, making sure that he was as comfortable as he could be.

But my grandfather made her a deathbed request to her too, and it was that she kill him. That's a lot to ask from your own child, and moreso because she could have lost her ability to practice medicine if anyone found out, but I also thought ... I don't know, that someone else should have done it? He was in pain, and not always lucid, but he'd made his request, and we were all waiting on him to die.

And so I thought, at nine years old, that I would do it, find some way to grant at least that wish, to end his suffering.

I didn't end up doing that either, because I was little.

I didn't know my grandfather all that well, because he died when I was young. We built a wooden toy together when I was seven, before he'd gotten so sick, and he gave me some wood carving tools that I never used. He had been a farmer before he lost the farm, and losing that farm was one of those things that echoed through my mom's childhood, but I don't remember him ever talking about it. He was a conscientious objector in World War II, because he was a Mennonite, but unlike my other grandfather, I don't remember him every telling me any stories about it.

I think overall it's good to let kids know that people die, to not shield them from it completely, but I don't think I endorse putting a child that close to death, not for so much time, or at least not a child like me.

(If you've read some of my fiction, you might recognize this as a very similar to something Juniper says in Worth the Candle, and yes, that part of the book, like many others, is roughly autobiographical.)

[crazylittlejester]

Is Warriors ever going to competitively skate again? 🥺

It depends on quite a number of things really

It would not be impossible for him to do so. The biggest struggle someone would probably face trying to come back after three years of retirement is rebuilding strength and skills but Warriors skates around 15 hours a week and he does dance (primarily ballet) for even more than that, so his issue isn’t that he’s lost the ability to do certain things. He just hasn’t grown as a skater really since he hasn’t had guidance from a coach. His overall ‘elegance’ has improved since he is a dancer, so has some of his mobility and technique, but any strictly skating related things haven’t improved. If he’d want to return to competing he’d have to get himself a coach and work his way back into minor competitions and stuff to start off. He’s young, he’s fit, PHYSICALLY it wouldn’t necessarily be a huge issue for him. He can still skate his old programs just fine, he uses them as practice (and there’s a lot to get into with that because he was injured badly enough it required surgery AFTER he’d retired and then he had to go through PT and it was bad for him mentally and he set his old programs as like. a recovery goal which was insane but no one said he was mentally stable- but that’s an unrelated yap) and sure things go wrong and he’ll slip and fall but that’s just life and it happens, but he’s still physically capable of what he was when he retired at 18 (to an EXTENT- his one knee is a little weaker than the other)

As far as what he ACTUALLY wants in life, things get a little more complicated. He loves skating, GENUINELY he does otherwise he wouldn’t be so upset about having left, but he wasn’t the healthiest or happiest from about 13-18 years old because of how he started to view skating as the only thing giving him worth. Any praise or acknowledgment he got from that he took as a reflection of his inherent worth as a person, and he took any failures as him (a PERSON) not being good enough. His mom put him in dance when he was old enough to form a sentence because she was a dancer whose career got cut short and she couldn’t leave the life so she raised her son in it, and Wars didn’t HATE it (obviously, since that’s what he currently does) but he found skating, wanted to try it, and fell in love with it instantly. It was HIS thing, it was special to him, but also it’s his equivalent of the War of Eras in this au (and for Wild, it’s his fight against the Calamity, but Wild is a whole other yap post alskkdkdkdk), and competing really took a toll on him

But again, his ability to view his worth as a human being got messed up because of the environment he was raised in. He got praise and validation for pushing himself too hard, he got praise for training to do jumps his body wasn’t quite ready for, he got acknowledgment and approval for tearing himself apart and thats just what he was USED to, he never knew anything else. He’s still incredibly competitive because of this to the point that Sky and Twi can start recognizing when he’s getting too worked up and they have to let him beat them at a board or video game because he will have a nervous breakdown if they don’t and they don’t know how to help him when he gets like that because the therapy only helped so much and sometimes it’s just easier to let him win because for THEM it’s just not a big deal to lose. He’s gotten better about it, but it was really beat into him from a VERY young age that anything other than the best, anything other than number one is a failure, and that’s poured over into every other aspect of his life

And he’s been able to recognize that and work on it a bit, since he’s stepped away from skating, he’s gotten to a point where he CAN lose at uno and just laugh because he has a handful of 30+ cards and he can enjoy having fun with his friends. He has his bad days and his good ones. Because yeah dance is competitive just as theater is, you have to audition for certain parts you want, but there are multiple good roles in a show, there can literally be two different parts that are completely equal, and stepping away from skating has been GOOD for him in his first couple years of adulthood because he’s been able to spend some time trying to find himself and be kinder to himself when he isn’t at the top. He’s also been able to make actual genuine friends in his field for the first time in his life because he isn’t paranoid about how they’re viewing him as just a threat and he can actually TRUST them. Granted most of his dance friends are women so they’re not really competing for the same roles anyway, but he’s been able to make male friends too and be HAPPY for them when they get a better part than him (after the initial cry looking at the cast list lmao)

The TLDR is: Maybe. He has to become more secure in himself first and he needs to reach a point where he can view skating as an art that he loves and take criticism as a commentary on his ART and not his PERSON. He’ll most likely get his bachelors degree first and THEN start thinking about where he wants to go from there. He’ll never be able to step away from skating entirely, but he may find himself at peace being a coach and helping others grow and improve as opposed to again competing himself

[swifty-fox]

Kicking my feet and twiddling my thumbs, exactly one week to the next love song from a dog chapter! 🥰

There’s no Curt Biddick to bruise his beak, no RAF pilots to goad into a tizzy. No Gale to poke and prod until he snapped and proved that boxing was sure indeed a mans sport, and he was man as they came. There were bars, and Army boys still too proud of their medals to take a lighthearted quip lying down; or marines who were as uncivilized and ready to bite as they came, and John stuck his fingers right in their mouths. 

Came away with bloody lips and bruises eyes and a split brow that required stitches, and he sits there under the Doc’s needle and asks him ‘do you think I’m all evened out now’?

His mother doesn’t find it so funny, looking at him with wobbling lip and eyes that go glassy wet. 

“Don’t worry about it, Ma,” He tells her softly, pulling her into a slow shuffle dance in the kitchen, anything to get her to stop looking at him like he’s a lost cause, “You should see what the krauts did to me.” 

Inevitably, her eyes flicker to the other side of his face, to the browbone that no longer was quite a perfect curve, the thick scar through his skin where eyebrow no longer grew. Her touch follows, featherlight and gentle, thumb covering the hurt so only the fresh new wound stands out. Tender, like John was still a baby with paper skin, or a young child who’s come in teary-eyed with a scraped knee. Like she could wipe away his wound, kiss it better and bandage it clean. She hadn’t been there, even in lesser capacity than she should have been.

John can tell she’s thinking it too, the way her eyes track over his face again and again, smiling mouth pressed flat and thin. There’s lines around her eyes and grey in her hair and crinkles to her smile that hadn’t existed in a world before the war. She’s gotten old, in his absense and he thinks she might be thinking the exact same thing of him. Ma Egan inhales the same moment he does, her mouth opening and he catches her hands in his, pulling them away from the cup of his face. Squeezes the dry skin between his hands.

“It’s okay, Ma,” He says softly, “It’s okay.” 

He wonders if she can smell the whiskey on his breath underneath the coffee. 

The doctor had advised he not drink so much and he’d nearly laughed.

[dufferpuffer]

I have some things to say about this - things I've been thinking about for ages, so I'm gonna spill here I hope you don't mind:

~~ Blood supremacy has ALWAYS been pretty big. ~~

Since well before the Statue of Secrecy 1693. Before the statute Wizards weren't secret. Some people were known for doing odd things - and they kept being hunted for it. Small scale "The odd man on the edge of town made a drink that cured my husband of Gout... but the drought this winter is probably his fault too, so lets kill him" all the way to... well the, Puritan Witch Hunts that lead to the Statue of Secrecy.

Lest we forget Sir Nicolas de Mimsy-Porpington, a KNIGHTED member of the royal court, had his wand immediately taken and was sentenced to death... just for accidentally giving a lady a tusk. Locked in a dungeon cell, crying out he could fix it if they let him - he wasn't even given the dignity of a sharp axe blade: 45 hits before he died. It was quite easy to loose the trust of Muggles...

...and yet, there were long, wealthy 'Most Ancient' families taking pride in their magical lineage - recorded and celebrated for centuries. Aristocrats in Muggle society. Because they were not separate.

Not until the Statute of Secrecy. The freshly reinstated Monarchy refused to protect Magical people... so they all hid away. This is great for the peasants who were being killed - but what of the Most Ancient families who were managing quite well...? It wasn't such a good thing for them.

200 years later, the 1890's, when Dumbledore was attending Hogwarts - most of the major Pureblood families are lessened. Dying out with fewer and fewer heir's, poorer than they 'deserve' to be, barely hold any real power over society anymore... All because they can no longer rule over Muggles as easily. The Malfoy's invest in Muggle currency and assets (and taking neighboring Muggle land) to keep up their riches, keeping up that old tradition of using Muggles to keep their place in society - but even they have needed to breed with Half-Bloods in order to avoid interbreeding issues that plagued the Gaunts to extinction.

It's the early 1900s, Muggles seem to rule the world while Wizards are pushed into corners, the Pure-bloods watching their influence fade... Better yet, soon the Muggles start having a Great War with eachother that spans most of Europe - so terrible even Wizards get involved.

Some young talented bloke called Gellert Grindelwald starts rallying people under the idea that Wizards should rule over Muggles. It was quite popular, and devastating. Remember: Krum said he (and others) beat up kids who started wearing the Hallows symbol around the school to be edgy, as he himself had lost family to Grindelwald. Krum punches nazi's :^) 1945 - Albus defeated his ex. 1945. Tom's LAST year at school.

He had already killed people, already made Horcruxs', already made a gang of Pureblood buddies - most of whom probably thought Gellert Grindelwald was pretty cool and correct. It wasn't his tragic Pureblood lineage and Snake-tongue so much as the fact Purebloods were ITCHING to return to the 'Glory Days'.

Tom didn't invent any of the things he preaches. He was using the hot issues and concerns of the day to his advantage. A true politician.

...He is also very good at running cults, because he manages to weave quite opposing ideals together: + Purebloods are better than everyone else... ...Yet talent is still recognized. Half-Bloods and even Muggleborns are allowed into his inner circle. + He will make a world rules by Wizards... ...but offers space for 'dirty' beings society rejects. Giants, who have faced Genocide, and Werewolves, are offered land and purpose.

~~ Parseltongue is a language ~~

Sorry lol it just is a language. Ron learns a word or two from Harry and uses it to open the Chamber.

When it comes to Magical and non-Magical animals... its not a binary. Some animals are more magical than other animals. Pigs are notoriously hard to charm because they are very non-magical... unlike owls and cats, who can be very sensitive to magic. We see owls basically talk to Wizards all the time in body language. Cats, too - Sirius even talks to one, seeming an innate ability.

Snakes are likely in this camp. They are magically sensitive animals, who can talk effortlessly to Wizards whose magic vibes with theirs.

Once again thinking about the fact that Tom Riddle was able to gain power starting in school and the implications of it:

• Blood supremacy wasn’t as prevalent during his time, and maybe it was Tom Riddle’s own influence as Voldemort using blood supremacy as his platform that made it worse

• Blood supremacy was still as common, but always takes backseat to family connections, if he didn’t have that connection to Slytherin then maybe he never would’ve gained power

(In this case, there should be so much about them going wild for Harry then, being that he’s also a parselmouth)

• It was only because it was a connection to Slytherin that he was able to raise to power, if it had been a different bloodline then no one would’ve cared, which makes sense, Hogwarts is clearly so important to Magical Britain, personal connections to the Founders would be a huge deal

• It was just the parselmouth ability specifically, a magic that can’t be copied by anyone else, which also makes sense because they’re all so fucking obsessed with the idea of being naturally better than non purebloods that an ability that can only be inherited sounds like something they’d be drawn in by

(Real quick note, I hate when fics have someone learn parseltongue or treat it like an actual language, why tf would snakes (including common snakes because it’s a non-magic snake that Harry first talks to, and we can assume Riddle wasn’t running into magic snakes either at the orphanage) have a language you can learn. you’re breaking my immersion. Parselmouth only makes sense as a family ability, that’s why Harry hears it as just English, he’s not really speaking a different language, he’s using a magical ability, that’s why I think there also shouldn’t be words that don’t translate into parselmouth, yeah it makes sense if the snakes don’t understand specific words, but it shouldn’t be its own language!! It’s not like we’re only talking about magic snakes!!!)

(Also again, if it’s just the parselmouth ability they go crazy for, more people should be secretly excited by Harry having that ability)

• Tom Riddle is just a scarily competent cult leader and every modern setting of him should just be him running a different kind of cult

[dysany]

I've had this headcanon for so long, but something about the idea of Will not being able to remember Lee's face is deliciously painful.

They were so close. Will had clung to Lee like a puppy from the first second they saw each other, even before Apollo's sign claimed him. Lee was his protector, his big brother, his idol, his safe haven. It was Lee who introduced him to the camp, who introduced him to the others children of Apollo, taught him how to heal. It was Lee that Will ran to when he had a nightmare or when he felt homesick. It was Lee who taught him to smile despite the stress that demigod life caused. People joked that Lee looked more like his father than his brother, saying how Will was a little shadow clinging to Lee wherever he went.

But it was true. And Will hoped that if he ever got to meet Apollo, his father would be as kind and caring as his brother was.

But then came the war. I can see Lee sacrificing himself to save Will in the midst of all that chaos. Little Will, who was almost crushed by a cyclops, being pushed aside and suddenly losing Lee there, in a matter of seconds. Will would definitely try to heal him, but the only thing he could see was Lee's face covered in blood and with his golden hair covering his eyes.

Since then, Will has not been able to remember his face. He knows that Lee was considered attractive and brilliant, the perfect image of Apollo, but he only remembers the red. His memories are hazy, his favorite brother's face always a mere blur. There's a picture of Lee with some other children of Apollo hanging somewhere, Will can't look at it for long.

Without realizing it, Will has become the spitting image of Lee and has picked up many of his habits. He drinks black coffee even though he doesn't like coffee, always wears his healer's coat, and has the most random and useless things. These little things that Lee did and Will copied without realizing it, becoming a bond with him

The elders in the camp like to point out how much he looks like his brother, but Will can no longer say if that's true..

[zimszim]

i looooove the horrifying elements of the doctor and river's relationship, like not only did her whole childhood revolve around him, but they essentially trapped each other in their timelines. the doctor gave her her identity as river (and while she found independence within it, still sort of fucked (names are so important)) and river fucking DIED on his ass!! and while time can be rewritten, i feel like the doctor has a certain amount of respect for time that has already been written, that with the fact that she died for him and he apparently trusts her and maybe even loves her in the future........ they literally trapped each other

[djuvlipen]

thinking about that quote "those who've studied the Holocaust often come back with the feeling of having stared directly into the source of evil" and actually yeah I think I know too much and if I could get other people to know all the stuff I've read and heard and seen about the Holocaust and genocides maybe I could bring a change feel more stable and less insane at the cost of others. and I don't know what is worse, the nightmares I used to have when I was 7 and I didn't know much about Nazis so I could imagine everything; or all the things I am aware of now and that keep clogging my thoughts during my waking hours

[usagifuyusummer]

Is this what you meant @jjimene123, on the Timmy Turner and Pink Diamond parallels lmao?

Been thinking abt this quote from end of an era!! It makes me THINK

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

i really want to be all grown up and keep up with the news but

[determinate-negation]

im making this post to support the fundraiser of ahmed @yaminfamily who is very close to his goal but hasnt been making progress in the campaign lately. this is a verified campaign (264 on the vetted fundraiser list)

ahmed alanqar is fundraising for his wife and young children to escape gaza. unfortunately his old account @ahmedabuyamin was deleted by tumblr and he lost all of his followers and messages. for people who have already lost so much and are struggling to survive a genocide it is just such arbitrary cruelty to suddenly lose your main form of communication that might help you live. if you previously followed this campaign, follow their new account.

ahmed wrote in a recent post that he was almost hit by a stray bullet while in a tent with his family! so many people in gaza are living one second away from death at any time– its absolutely horrific and i really ask that people not be desensitized to these stories just because it has been going on for so long. in this same post, ahmed wonders if they will have to die in silence before someone notices them. please dont let that happen. people always think hypothetically about what they would do in times of injustice and genocide. this is something you can do. these fundraisers have the possibility of making a real difference for peoples lives. they only need to raise 9k more. please donate and if you cant, share with someone who can

€50,261 raised of €59,000

[lass-us-slay]

Lois feels her throat close up, feeling a growing lump she cant force down. And can’t help but stare at the boy. And her body feels like it’s unable to even move, frozen in place because-

God that’s a child, just a little boy tied up like he… he’s some experimental animal, like he’s not even human.

And for a moment she just stands there, until the boy opens his eyes. And oh god those eyes, those eyes look so tired, and scared. Like he’s seen some horrible monsters that plan on eating him, and to be fair… maybe it’s not so far from the truth.

Those piercing icy blue eyes that hold so much fear (fear a child- a boy no less- should not be holding) is what makes her come to her senses.

And distantly she can see more resemblance between this boy in this… cell… and her baby boys best friend.

Like being snapped from a trance Lois comes back to reality. And further steps into the room, closing the door behind her (because so god help her she’s not going to get caught, not when there’s a CHILD (whose mind you, maybe not much older Jon) is being help captive).

She can tell the boy is staring intently at her movements, trying to discern if she’s like the rest of the people here.

And before she even starts talking, she clicks on her recorder. After what feels like forever she swallows the lump in her throat that thought it could get comfortable her throat.

Not today, or any day lump!

“..Hello, I’m- I’m Lois Lane with… god kid what…” Fair to say Lois lost her voice as quickly as she got it.

Ugh this isn’t you Lois! Focus, this kid needs you. She internally scolded herself, as the kid continued to stare at her. God did he even have enough strength to speak back from how thin and brittle he looks..?

With a deep breath Lois shoved away her own problems, she could work on it without the kids life in danger at this very moment.

“Can you speak..?” She asked walking over to the cell that held him like an animal unworthy of human care.

As she was about to touch the cell keypad she fell short. Unable to continue with the action as she heard a small, weak and hoarse voice. It made her heart break a little at how weak it sounded.

“Don’t… to-ch-…” The boy sounded out, taking a moment to clear his throat.

“Is’ not… go-na end well..” he continued, moving to sit up from his laying down position on the floor.

Lois could see his hair stick to his face and neck from how sweaty he looked. He looked so tired from the simple action of sitting up. More than how he looked before.

“Why not- I’m not leaving you here.” She stated with a ‘no argument tone’ that Jon always commented on.

“They’r not gonna.. give me’ up so easy…” He spoke back, Lois wanted to retort that. Say that she could get him out but…

She knew she couldn’t, this is a government funded facility. And she broke into it. She may be stubborn, but she she’s not foolish.

“I’ll find you a way out, I promise. So just tell me anything and everything you can think of about this- GIW. Their purpose, who they are, anything”

She almost pleaded as she stepped away from the cell with clenched fists. Barely being able to not look away from his icy winter eyes, which reminded her of Bruce’s eyes.

The boy, for his part just nodded weakly. Having moved to lean against the calls glass wall.

“M’ names Danny… Daniel Fen…Fenton..” he stared, Lois for her part. Started taking pictures of the room, and… Danny himself.

“M’ from… Amity, Amity Pa-k-“ he took a moment to clear his throat.

“Amity… park.. Illinois.. uh.. GIW is’- .. means, Ghost. Inves-tigation- Ward.”

“Ghost? Aren’t those superstitions?” She instinctively asked.

As the boy explained roughly about how ghosts were technically ecto beings. Lois opened up a drawer with, which lucky for her held some important information.

Taking pictures of those documents which were mostly about the boy -Danny, who looked so much like her Jon’s best friend but with Bruce’s eyes- it made her heart stutter.

They’d already had his internal workings down on paper… they had- god it made her wanna puke and feel nauseous… it’s wasn’t until she heard the next words from Danny that made her freeze

“They uh- … the last I remember of th- the outside.. was… March..?” Danny, the poor boy got out from his sore, haggard throat.

It had to hold onto the drawer for support… it’s July.

The GIW had had him for 5 months.

Her breath shuddered as she forcibly got her composure back, she couldn’t waver now. The boy will freak if he finds out.

“…Ho-w.. long..?” The poor boy asked. It made Lois purse her lips to stop herself from indicating just how much time had passed. Good thing her back was turned on him.

“Not.. not too long.” She had a feeling she didn’t convince him from his silence.

Straightening herself she put the files back. She got her evidence. With the files back in place she looked back at the boy, so similar to Jon. Her precious baby boy.

Only to find Danny back on the floor, no longer leaning on the glass wall of the cell. There was green sorta gas’s filling it now, shit did she trigger it-

“Kid—“

“S’ kay’ ma’am… their’ cmin’ back…” He managed, looking up much more tiredly at Lois now.

“Kid you with me?!” She scurried to his side, the solid thick glass separating the two of them. If only she had Clark’s strength, just this once.

“Go… their’ cmin’ back… please’ just-.. don’t get caught…” Danny looked straight into Loises eyes. As drowsy as he was, he made sure not to slur his last 3 words together.

All Lois could do was nod, and silently promise herself, and the kid that she was going to do everything she could to get him out. And destroy the GIW.

Looking around quickly she found a little body hole behind a the large mass of drawers and crates towards the back.

Luckily was still able to somewhat see the kids cell from her position. And hastily pull up her phone to record. With the brightness all the way down of course, she doesn’t want to get caught.

Not after find out out what they’d been doing with a fucking child.

Several men in white came in, all of them holding either guns or what looks to be tasers, with two of them having a pole on hand. Lois couldn’t help but think is those were even necessary… he’s a child

And seeing them talk to him like he’s an animal, even going so far as to calling ‘him’ and ‘it’. It made her blood boil.

But not as much as when they tased and beat him when he tried to move away from, or fight back at them. She couldn’t help the small flinch at his muffled grunts and slight whimpers in pain as he took the beating.

She caught the one of them saying why he was acting up now… god Danny was doing that on purpose… for her. To add more to what she has.

And as much as she appreciates it, she wishes he didn’t do that… he’s a child, he shouldn’t have had to do that.

After a 1 minute and 24 seconds (according to the recording) Danny finally gave out. She couldn’t properly see him but she could tell he was heaving hard, trying to catch his breath. The guards with the poles moved and-

And she felt pure rage at how they forcibly moved him with the poles attached to his collar. Keeping him a distance from themselves as they moved him, like a feral dog on the streets.

But it was the fact that Danny was barely making an effort to fight back, and being dragged around carelessly and cruelly by his neck was what got to her.

But she forced down the drive to go up to them and fight them herself. Because again, they’re the government. The only good that’ll do is just for her anger. It’s not gonna help Danny.

It’s not gonna help the poor boy that looks so much like her boy, Jon’s best friend.

It’s not gonna help Danny whose being treated like a feral animal by these people (Can she even consider them people from how they are treating a child?).

So she bites her tongue, waits until they leave.

And begins her search of the facility.

With her phone recording and her recorder having been turned on since she fist spoke with the boy.

Lois Lane, the best reporter and investigator of the Daily Planet. Makes her way around the facility, fitting into the white clad sorry excuse of people, with a uniform she found in one of the boxes.

———

Much later, as the morning rays of dawn shed light upon Metropolis’s waking buildings.

A certain woman with black shoulder length hair, and clad in a white suit exits a building near the outskirts of Metroplis.

Her hands are clenched in tight fists as she walks out of the facility’s grounds. As she walks towards the City to where she last parked her car, she brings up her phone once more.

Having recorded all she needed within it, she calls a certain man of steel.

“Hey Lois, where are you?” A man’s voice spoke after not even the second ring.

“I’m coming come right now, but I need you to get ready. This may need a certain man of steel.” She responded back, not even acknowledging his question. For realistically he already hears where she is right now.

“Understood-“ as Clark was about to continued Lois cut him off.

“We need all hands on deck, especially Batman.” Lois could feel Clark tense from this far away as she continued her way back to the street she left her car at.

“I see, I’ll let him know. Your safe thought right?” He asked, that lovable goose, oh how he brought a small, painful smile to her face.

“Yes I’m safe, is Jon okay..?” She suppressed a wince at how her voice cracked towards the end. The image of the broken and beaten boy coming it the forefront of her mind.

“Yes of course… is he somehow involved?” Lois almost lost her footing at the idea. And the tense voice of Clark just amplified the fact that- the kid.

Danny had no one… she saw the little note on the files, on how they’ve been ‘brainwashed’ and were forced to be ‘put down’.

Danny had no one to care, and it broke her heart to think of something like that happening to her boy, to her little Jon.

“Never.” She answered firmly. No way, over her dead body.

“We’ll talk move when I get back.” And with that she ended the call. Having neared her car she reaffirmed her resolve to absolutely crush the GIW for what they had done to Danny.

She’ll make sure they are sorry for doing all they did to him. She has all the evidence.

All she needs now is time to shut them down.

Time that she doesn’t have.

Time that Danny, doesn’t have.

"This better get on the front page" Lois mutters under her breath. She's currently hiding in a crate that's being transported into a secretive "government" facility that calls themselves the GIW. No official data has been released as to what that acronym stands for. A new facility of theirs opened up in Metropolis and Lois is determined to find out what this organization is doing behind closed doors. From the rumors she's heard it sounds like it's Project Stargate level of crazy. This might get her another Pulitzer Prize.

Lois feels the truck holding her, and many many pallets of lead lined crates, pull to a stop. After that it's a blur of muffled words spoken by GIW employees as they unload the truck. Her crate gets picked up by a forklift and moved somewhere deep into the facility. Perfect.

After ten agonizing minutes, the forklift stops and lowers the crate into an unknown room and drives away.

Lois waits.

She has a thermal reader to detect if anyone is inside the room with her that (thank you Bruce) works through two inches of steel and lead.

The only thing she saw that was noticeable was an oddly large cold spot in an adjacent room.

Well it's now or never.

Lois moves cautiously, slowly opening the lid of the crate from underneath just enough to crawl herself through and then slowly put the lid back, careful to not make a sound.

She turns away from the crate and goes to investigate that cold spot.

Past a door, through a short hallway, and inside a high security cell, Lois saw the source of the temperature anomaly.

It's a boy. A boy no older than her son… A boy who was emaciated, collared, handcuffed, and covered in gauze.

A boy who looked near identical to her son's best friend, Damian.

[yasmyonis]

https://gofund.me/08e5ce0a

My name is Yasmin, a 28-year-old mother of three—Elin, Nasr, and Jameel.

I’m from Gaza, where every day is a struggle between hope and survival. Life was never easy, but we held on to the dream of building a safe and secure future for our children. After years of living in rented homes, we finally completed building our own house, a place we could call home.

But then, tragedy struck.

In the early days of the war, our home was bombed, leaving us with nothing—not even a single wall to return to. At the same time, I am battling cancer, and I had to leave with my children and family to the south of Gaza to continue my treatment. My husband, Mohammad, stayed behind in the north to care for his brother, whose leg was amputated and who needed his help.

For a month, Mohammad cared for his brother, but one day he went out to find food. That was the last time I heard from him. I’ve lost all communication since, and I don’t know if he has been captured or, God forbid, killed. The uncertainty is unbearable, and my children keep asking for their father.

Now, I find myself alone, trying to provide for my three young children while also continuing my cancer treatment. I am in desperate need of help to travel for further treatment and to support my children, who have already lost so much.

I am humbly asking for $5000 for myself and $2500 for each of my children, Elin, Nasr, and Jameel, so we can continue our fight for survival and rebuild our shattered lives.

Your support will give us a chance at life, hope, and a future. Please help us during this time of unimaginable hardship.

There is no food, no drink, we go far💔

[gutsby]

Ruined!

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel is an old man who struggles to cum sometimes. You’ve got time to kill and a tight hole to fill.

Warnings: 18+. Peepaw brainrot + a dash of anorgasmia. Unprotected p-in-v, cockwarming, age gap, daddy kink.

Note: Finals are whooping my ass left & right. This is a quickie.

Word count: 1.2k | Part of the Waiting Game ‘verse

Surely he was hurting you now.

Joel Miller had a kink for many, many fun activities, but splitting a sweet young thing like you over his cock to the point you were almost in tears was just not one of them.

At the same time your poor, surely-bruised walls pulsed around his hardened length, he felt a pang of guilt. His balls were pressed against your ass like two lead weights, soaked with the remains of your third release, and his mind was at war with itself—keep fucking you like this? Pull out and offer his sincerest apologies for not being able to cum? A boy your age would’ve never had you waiting around like that, aching around his cock, much less begging for something as simple as a cumshot.

He decided to go straight to the source. Leaning over your prone body on the bed before him, he was careful not to rut his hips or jostle his dick around too much.

Joel pressed a hot, stubbled kiss to your cheek, then:

“‘S’it too much, baby? She need a break, maybe?”

Joel thumbed at that space where your body ended and his began and nearly lost his mind to the pearly-white slick that had accumulated with time. Two hours time, he had to remind himself while you moaned and writhed and bucked your ass back. Your cunt was choking him.

Crying, too.

Your eyes flew open the moment his words reached you.

“You kiddin’ me, Miller?! I could do this shit all day.”

Sometimes Joel forgot you were only in your twenties. Really, the thought only occasionally crossed his mind in moments like these—or when your father, his best friend, happened to bring you up—but when it did, it hit him hard. You were young. Lively. Surely far too spry and full of life to be messing around with a man as old as him.

Joel’s guilt ran almost commensurate with his pleasure when he felt you anchor your feet on the bed and start to fuck yourself back and forth over his still-throbbing dick.

Almost.

He planted a hand beside your head and grinned. He let you fuck him. Felt you pull off, crawl up the bed a little, then beckon him back to your body, where your ass was now pointing up and your back was arched in invitation.

Almost.

“You know I can’t sleep without your cum inside me.”

And you made a point to spread your knees and look behind you with a smile as sweet as Milo’s tea, fingers drumming a beat against the bedspread in anticipation.

“You do wanna fill me up, don’t you, daddy?” you teased.

Yeah, no. The guilt was gone. Joel could worry about being a depraved old man when he was done cumming.

Then he was back inside you, driving his hips until every last inch of him was wrapped snug within your wet and velvety embrace, and he sighed. A real protracted one, like the kind he was liable to exhale after climbing two flights of stairs, or else just hoisting himself off the sofa. Or lifting you in his arms and fucking you hard against the hood of his Bronco. Any time. Any place. You were kind enough to oblige him with the best cardio of his life, so the least Joel could do now was make you cum again.

He snatched your hands up in one of his own and placed your wrists at the base of your spine. With his other, free set of fingers he took to rubbing your clit gently.

“SON OF A—”

“—good girl.”

You let out a bloodcurdling scream into your pillow and secretly hoped this man’s dick would never deflate again. Not with the way he was sawing his thing back and forth and dragging you to the edge, circling your clit like you were the single most precious thing in the world to him.

“Oh, sweet pea, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Like he could feel the tears staining the cushion himself.

“Mmrooonme,” you cried into it, voice garbled by cotton.

“What’s’at, honey? Can’t hear ya.”

Joel then bent at the waist, pretending to be leaning in to hear you better, when really he knew he’d be digging in your guts with that big, bulbous head of his and making you squeal again. Hands still held captive behind you, you inched your chin back on the pillow so your moans could be heard even louder while Joel sped up.

“You— ruined me,” you repeated. Now clear as ever.

Joel tried to hide his smile and glanced down between your body and his. Then, while his ring finger joined the other two to make their tight, light circles, he returned,

“Ruined? Pussy feels just fine t’me.”

You’d kill him if he wasn’t so good at this. You turned your head more to meet his eyes from the corner of yours.

“No. Ruined me. For anyone else.”

Probably forever.

“Good.”

You knew he liked it that way.

You saw it in his eyes. Felt it in his touch. The hefty, broad, and greying Joel Miller had been loafing around on this earth long enough to know how to claim what was his. When his hips knocked yours to lay you flat on the bed, you already knew what was coming next.

First, his arms came to rest on either side of your body.

“Shit,” you whimpered.

Next, his lips went trailing down to your ear.

“Just a little more, sugar—that’s it,” he murmured while his hips sank in, and you felt that big, delicious stretch.

Then he released your hands so they were free to squeeze the sheets, and when they did, his moved over them—lacing his fingers through your own—and his lips pressed a kiss to your jaw. He held you in a tender grasp. His breath was hot on your neck, and the whole of his body was blanketing yours. Joel knew you liked it like that, which is why he made sure not to leave an inch of space in between. He was grunting, rutting, holding you close while his cock drilled a maddening pace inside you.

“You ruined me too, y’know,” he mumbled into your skin.

His nose was flush with the side of your cheek, nudging inward. Begging you to turn your head just a little more so he could kiss you. Weak as you were, you obliged.

And you moaned against that grey, stubbled chin of his when the thrusts above you had your cunt grinding the bed, rubbing that soft and helpless nub on the sheets.

“C’mon— let daddy have it,” he growled, “Let daddy have it and make it his, huh? That okay by you, baby?”

It was.

More than okay, as confirmed by the orgasm that tore through your body moments later while your teeth sank into the flesh of Joel’s lower lip and your cunt clenched and soaked over him whole. Joel wedged his tongue in your mouth and fucked you through it. His broad and callused hands were like iron around your own, holding you tight and keeping you still amidst a maelstrom of pleasure that combed over your every last nerve.

He licked into your mouth. Licked over it. Took the sick and distinct pleasure of knowing no one but him got to see you like this, with your jaw hanging slack and your eyes rolling back and your whines repeating quietly, ‘Daddydaddypleasedaddyfuckohfuckdontstop.’

Maybe ruined wasn’t such a bad thing to be at all.