#He has so many problems he is so miserable he is so traumatized he is a soaking wet cat in a box

[transmasccofee]

From reading the light novels i am now even more emo about saiki as a character than I was before and I have a lot of thoughts about this but I’ll probably post something about that later since Im on the road and I do not want to write an essay in the car but basically what I wanna say is that Saiki Doesnt Want To Be Alone. He tells himself he prefers being alone when actually he really dislikes it but doesn’t think there’s any other way for someone like him to be. Im not even assuming he basically Says That. He doesn’t like being isolated he doesn’t like being lonely but he forces it onto himself at the cost of his own mental stability because he is afraid of human connection.

[hyperlexichypatia]

One of the main problems I have with Trauma Discourse (besides the problems I’ve already outlined in all these other posts really just so many) is that calling a problem “trauma” transmutes it from a problem with a specific, identifiable, external cause to an inner “mental health” problem, the new “brain disease like diabetes” model. If you say “He’s miserable because he’s being abused,” the solution is obvious: Stop abusing him. If you say “She’s depressed because of the trauma of being abused,” you’ve shifted the problem to her reaction, and now the solution becomes that she needs therapy or treatment or intervention to learn to process or heal from or cope with being abused. Even in medical model advocates’ own pathology paradigm of “Post-traumatic stress disorder,” the “Post-” part is essential. The concept is supposed to refer to the stress that lingers after the trauma and danger is passed, not to the stress of ongoing danger. Trauma discourse, as applied to public policy, has unhoused people having to sleep on the street until they’ve processed the trauma of sleeping on the street enough to be “mentally healthy” enough to deserve housing, and has schools cutting school lunch programs while training teachers in “trauma-informed” practices to help students with the trauma of being hungry.

[ruegarding]

hello! I hope your having a good day! If you don't mind me asking, what is your opinion on the Cupid Scene in Hoo? And if you could how would you change it?

my opinion on the cupid scene…well, i don't think a traumatic coming out scene is automatically bad. the problem i have w it is that rick capitalized on shock value instead of good writing. rick retconned a bunch of things to make nico alone and miserable so that he could have this scene, and it was completely unnecessary. ppl can have friends without coming out. and, as i’ve repeatedly said, the way hoo is written is literally a repeat of his arc in pjo but worse, because we’re acting like important events in pjo didn’t happen in a series that’s supposed to be a sequel to pjo and rick is inconsistent so the payoff is questionable.

the solution is…good writing. creating a cohesive and intriguing plotline where this scene is either necessary or scrapped if it isn’t.

thus begins an unnecessarily deep dive into all the retcons, inconsistencies, and general what-the-fuckery of nico’s arc in hoo bc i’m the verbose king and we've accidentally stumbled into something i have a lot to say abt.

first retcon. in son, frank explicitly says that nico does not make him nervous and describes nico as mysterious. not weird, creepy, off-putting, or anything similar. and nico is! he is clearly hiding things and shows up infrequently. this is a neutral description, and frank goes on to say that pluto’s powers, and specifically the underworld, isn’t enough to make him dislike pluto or nico.

also this, showing nico is comfortable enough around frank:

but then in hoh, frank thinks going somewhere with nico, alone, is terrifying.

at worst, frank would’ve felt awkward. they’ve never had to talk alone bc nico is at camp jupiter for hazel and doesn’t have any reason to talk to frank by himself. if frank didn’t want to be alone w nico bc of that, it’d make sense. but that’s not what’s said or implied! and nothing has happened! nico got kidnapped, they saved him, and since then he’s been chilling on the boat, exactly as weird as before, if a little more understandably distressed. like, nothing happened to change frank’s opinion this drastically. even the difference between pluto and hades (wealth vs death) doesn’t matter bc nico uses his powers in son. also frank literally summons a skeleton guy in son and hazel is a zombie, like…

(the source isn’t important but i've been quoting these five seconds for years)

oh! and that’s not all, it gets worse!

these scenes from hoh are incredibly infantilizing. why are we treating nico like a feral dog that needs to be domesticated??? yikes. and once again, it’s not true! nico was fine talking w ppl in pjo (if a bit over-enthusiastic). and then in son he was perfectly civil and was fine having the conversation abt the quest. his issue w ppl was that his powers/parentage put ppl off, and, even in son, that he had to keep a secret.

nico is perfectly capable of speaking like a normal person and working as part of a team (see: final botl battle, final tlo battle, the sword of hades). like, nico’s struggle in hoh should be 1) that ppl are calling him creepy behind his back (and therefore has nothing to do w his social skills) and/or 2) that he just survived an incredibly traumatic experience and is understandably withdrawn. neither of these are properly addressed and instead the implication is that nico is hiding himself bc he’s gay and everything will be solved if he accepts himself.

edit: i never actually explicitly stated this, but nico's queer coding and disability coding overlap, which is why this infantilization/ableism is important enough to highlight despite the conversation specifically being abt the queer aspect of it.

second retcon. percy…as i’ve said many times before, percy explicitly calls nico his friend in tlo.

this immediately makes hoo trying to act like they don’t know each other and were never close a retcon. they were friends, they saw each other frequently, nico made silly jokes w percy…and we’re ignoring all of this in hoo.

i've talked abt this previously (in response to tsats), but nico is the one putting distance between him and percy. percy reached out to nico repeatedly thru pjo.

when percy notices that nico excludes himself, percy finds a private place to talk to nico and assures him that percy wants him around and offers solutions to his discomfort (this is not percy’s responsibility. percy is a child). when nico insists that he won’t stay, percy sees it from nico’s perspective and, instead of forcing nico to do something against his will that may totally backfire, says “i hope we don’t have to be enemies,” leaving room for nico to decide whether he’s willing to be friends.

bc percy understands the root of nico’s issue (that no matter the accommodations made at camp, there’s always going to be the implicit message that he doesn’t belong there), he addresses it and uses his wish to make sure that nico has a home at camp.

and when nico tries to prove he’s useful, percy proves he would’ve invited him in whether nico was or not. bc he thinks nico deserves to be a kid.

“i wonder if [nico] had ever had a birthday party,” percy thinks at his own birthday party where he didn’t invite his friends bc he felt it was too much of an inconvenience, in a story where he never had friends prior to these ppl he didn’t invite, and the only person he had for twelve years of his life was his own mother. and percy uses his own loneliness to empathize w how lonely nico is.

percy is not some distant figure nico is idolizing. he's a kid trying his best to care for another kid at a time where no one else did, while experiencing his own trauma. all of their hang-ups exist bc of that.

going back to their relationship in hoo, even trying to make percy uncomfortable w nico’s powers (and therefore not wanting to associate w nico) doesn’t work bc percy has gone on record and said he thinks some of nico’s powers are cool and has neutral responses to others, not to mention percy is also a big three kid who makes other ppl wary (i could write a whole meta on how what percy finds disturbing w nico’s powers is directly tied to what percy finds disturbing w his own powers, but i’ll restrain myself. please clap).

and if that wasn’t enough, the entire reason percy stood up to hera in botl is bc she was willing to let nico die specifically bc he doesn't fit in bc of those powers.

this plotline was tired before it even began.

you could argue that all of this changed w nico’s betrayal in tlo. but then why didn’t percy tell anybody when it happened in tlo (annabeth would’ve reacted to it if he had)? why did percy trust nico to come when he called? why didn’t any of percy’s animosity come out afterwards at camp? and in the throne room, percy didn’t have to single nico out w his wish. he didn’t have to watch nico to make sure he was settling in. but he did. and because he did, any writing that suggests percy doesn't trust or care abt nico bc of that is bad writing. maybe rick forgot this, but u can be angry w and hurt by the ppl you love and still love them.

even the justification that nico lied in son isn’t good enough to completely change their relationship, bc it’s pretty clear why nico lied and percy says he can’t stay angry at nico when they rescue him, and let me remind u, anger is a core part of percy's character. while nico lying might be enough for characters like leo and jason, who have no rapport w him, to doubt him, it’s not enough for percy. and why are we so obsessed w dismantling percy and nico’s friendship anyway? why is that necessary to the story? like i said before, ppl can have friends without coming out. isolating the only queer character (at the time) isn’t necessary.

this conflict doesn’t even work in hoo bc their distance is still one-sided…

when did percy not give nico a second chance in hoo? the only times they’ve interacted prior to this was when percy remembered nico in son and tried to talk to him and then when they saved his life. and then nico brushes off percy's gratitude and tells him to back off. this is not nico idolizing percy who doesn't care abt him. this is percy reaching out and yet again nico putting distance between them.

and, obviously, this doesn’t work at all w pjo when the entirety of botl exists, you know, where percy chose to trust and protect nico and then went out of his way to make sure nico knew percy held none of nico’s anger against him. it’d be one thing if nico was supposed to be wrong, but considering how there’s an entire arc in hoo abt jason being the first person to trust nico, and tsats seriously acts like percy only ever talked to nico when he needed something, it’s safe to say this comes from a place of stupidity.

ok. this sections getting long, so i moved the it was stupid to have percy give jason a reason to doubt nico section to a new post. but know that i'm aware and i think it's stupid.

back to the point of all these retcons w percy. there's nothing in hoo that necessitates changing percy and nico's relationship from pjo. while percy in hoo is never cruel to nico, they act like strangers for some reason. so, it's changed for no reason and it's written poorly.

sigh. and then all of chb is retconned (or recycled if you’re feeling generous).

the ppl at camp accept him while his cabin gets built. pretty nice. then in boo nico reveals they got tired of him after a week–which is still summer–despite there being an influx of kids from all descents, some of whom would be weird or uncomfortable or whatever this justification is. that’s not even mentioning how percy’s own experiences (remember how he was ostracized…multiple times…) should have made them more accepting of nico.

why…was this necessary at all…? especially when u have an entirely different camp that treats nico as weird bc they didn’t have that good experience w him? this is really what gets me. if rick wanted to be lazy and repeat nico’s arc, he could’ve done so without retconning things.

for example, with the seven, leo, piper, jason, and maybe annabeth (she doesn’t have much to say abt nico in pjo), i could understand having animosity towards nico, as well as camp jupiter, but retconning established relationships to make ur only (at the time) queer character isolated and miserable only to then have his coming out be violent and traumatic is. well. bad! especially when the person who is w him for that experience is not someone he has built any sort of camaraderie w. nico isn’t choosing to trust jason, he’s being forced to.

and the whole nico-needs-to-learn-to-trust-ppl plot doesn’t work anyway bc of rick’s inconsistencies.

jason has a moment much like frank where he doesn’t want to go anywhere w nico bc nico is so weird and scary. nico has every right to pull himself away from ppl who treat him like he’s got something contagious. and there’s more:

“since when does jason defend nico,” as in they have shit on nico before and jason has not, in the past, defended nico. as in nico had every reason to not trust jason prior to this bc everyone, including jason, were talking shit behind his back. why are we acting like nico is being unreasonable? oh no, y’all are talking behind my back…clearly it’s my fault bc i push everyone away and that has nothing to do w ur behavior or anything…yes this is good writing.

and we’re supposed to believe that jason (and reyna and hedge and will) is the first person to be kind/reach out to nico, but we have this scene from botl where percy comforted nico and gave him a piece of his childhood back:

and this is after percy cleared the air to make sure nico knew he didn’t hate him and offered to make accommodations for nico at camp and then respected and understood why nico wouldn’t want to. like,

woah, you’re telling me that a character reaches out to nico after a traumatic experience in an act of kindness and this helps nico grow as a person? and it happens multiple times?! yeah, apparently rick and fandom have completely forgotten abt this (also hazel exists???). they’re even phrased similarly! “maybe it’s time to take a risk and embrace something you’ve pushed away.” furthermore, they both support their point by helping nico, percy by inviting nico into his home to enjoy cake and ice cream, jason by drinking from the chalice. once more w feeling: nico has been loved the entire goddamn time!

i get what rick was trying to accomplish w the whole cupid scene concept. which is that it’s okay to be gay and that it can feel very “othering” to be gay. nico has to accept himself in order to make friends. that’s what this

and this

are trying to say, right, but this doesn’t work when you’ve blatantly retconned established relationships to have characters push nico away for his powers/parentage/whatever. nico’s struggle is not an internal issue that can be solved by accepting himself, it’s an external issue caused by how other ppl treat him for his powers/parentage (which he has never been shown to reject btw).

the thing is, the powers-as-queerness metaphor only works when you don’t have, you know, characters who aren’t queer going through similar ostracization. not only was percy ostracized at chb in tlt for his powers/parentage (very similar to nico!), percy has a moment in this same book where his powers terrify annabeth, and then piper in the next book, in which he, you know, lets himself almost die to poison bc he feels like he “deserved it” for using those powers. again, this is not queer-coding for percy (unless…?). moreover, like i said, nico doesn’t reject his powers, so the whole queer-coding w powers and needing to accept himself is already iffy (...rejecting powers...hold the fuck up…percy isn’t…unless…). even the out-of-time metaphor doesn’t work bc it’s something he shares w hazel, who is not canonically queer (unless…?!). so, already, we’re on shaky metaphorical ground. all of this could work, theoretically, if combined w strong writing, but combined w the retconning and inconsistencies, this plotline makes no cohesive sense.

we’re supposed to believe that nico is the one pushing everyone away while they are secretly super supportive while simultaneously being shown that everyone talks and thinks shit that affirms nico’s thoughts abt them that makes him want to pull away. and then in boo we completely ignore that these ppl have been pushing nico away and suddenly everyone (reyna, hedge, will, etc) is supportive.

pick a struggle!

also nico’s coming out scene in boo sucked (yeah this is the segue).

this is the culmination of nico’s arc in hoo. he’s finally accepted himself enough to speak the truth without pressure. we ruined percy and nico’s established relationship for this. and they don’t even have a conversation. then nico walks over to will bc percy, “regular guy” percy, is “not [his] type.” don’t look too deep into that.

so, how would i fix the cupid scene? well.

there were a million different ways to write a better arc for nico and earn that cupid scene. for example, rick could’ve stuck to a plotline.

the trust plotline could’ve been good. bc this exact thing is what causes the accidental kidnapping situation in tlo. nico doesn’t trust percy enough to tell him the truth and chooses to manipulate and lie to percy instead. this choice is what sets up their conflict bc percy views this as betrayal (something that’s important to a guy who’s fatal flaw is loyalty).

it’s also interesting bc nico does choose to trust ppl in hoo; he eats the pomegranate seeds despite not knowing that someone is coming for him, he just trusts that someone will (we’re ignoring what boo says abt nico’s tartarus experience bc fun fact! that is also retconned). and it pays off, bc not only does he get saved, we see hazel and percy even willing to challenge the other members of the seven to make sure he gets saved. so, it’s not a lesson he’s already learned, it’s a lesson he’s learning. but, going back to the main question here, would the cupid scene still be necessary? was being dragged into tartarus and almost dying not enough spectacle?

regardless, my biggest problem w the cupid scene in all of this is that it gives the impression that u have to come out in order to have ppl love u and trust u. a much better message to send is that the ppl who love u will love u before and after u come out. no isolation necessary.

[rasshu-benaiokny]

❄️Winter Gyutaro Headcanons❄️

I don’t believe i made a headcanon list before but since I’ve seen millions of them, i want to try. this is how my specific Gyutaro headcanons would go during winter!

-This will contain (x Reader) but not all will be

- Is vague enough to be either romantic or platonic

Gyutaro hates Winter: it’s obvious he would despise the cold season the most; its the hardest season to survive in and it brung back some uncomfortable feelings from lost human memories. Especially that day when he had found Ume… it was the coldest day in his life, it seemed

Gyutaro is less active: Its common knowledge that demons aren’t bothered by simple earthly things like weather, but Gyutaro finds comfort in warmer weather. His malnourished frame doesn’t help him either as his bones crack and ache. Often, he’ll find himself cradled within Daki or within the warm house of his prized person.

Gyutaro is miserable and depressed more: this demon has always been pessimistic but just like many humans, he gets hit with seasonal depression and it hits him hard. So hard that Daki will hunt more to compensate for his lack of enthusiasm. One time, he stayed face down on the ground in Daki’s room for hours, just being depressed because she was out.

He secretly likes the holidays: Gyutaro doesn’t particularly believe in any sort of holiday but he will use them to indulge in Daki. He will pamper his little sister with stolen fabrics and jewels from far away to make her shine with happiness.

His smell is bearable: Since he’s less active and its not horrendously hot, Gyutaro’s bodily odor doesnt come off as bad! Plus, this is the one time he will wash up at vacant hot springs. Hot water relaxing his tension, the steam concealing his figure, maybe a quick snack too if someone catches a glimpse him too.

He’s slightly weaker: after all that time, he hunted less than he should’ve so he does seem weaker after the new years… hes already thin as is but it hurts your heart to see him walk slower, move with less power. He reminds you of those old scraggly stray dogs walking in the snow covered city…

Hes vulnerable/emotional: Despite being so close to him; he never opens up about his current problems to you or Daki but during winter, his shell cracks ever so slightly! If you are perceptive enough, you may be able to nurse his traumatic scars just a little bit. It may not be much, but to him, its the world.

( This actually isnt based off of Rasshu x Gyutaro for once, i just know a bit of Gyutaro stans that are really sweet so, yeah… its based off of those peeps even tho i know they wont beable to see this cuz tumblr be damned to them grawhaha )

[thoseyoulove]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part II (with a bit of spoilers)

I found out my problem with the narration and description isn't with Anne, but Lestat. That dude sometimes focuses on the most useless stuff instead of telling what is happening or what he's feeling. I'm like, Lestat de Lioncourt, get your priorities (not) straight? But it's not much of a problem anymore now, because it gives me a better idea of who he is and how he thinks, so I appreciate that. I enjoy the immersion, even with someone as chaotic and as distracted as he is.

Turns out when Lestat FINALLY gives me a good picture of things, it's with the WORST event possible.

Remember what Louis said about the little drink? That's the whole experience from the moment Magnus kidnaps Lestat, turns him, kills himself before his eyes and leaves him completely alone. Multiply your worst case scenario by a trillion.

Not that I would want Magnus to stay, God forbid, but the next moment is still pretty bad. You might believe it gets better after his death, but it's not immediately.

Lestat goes from being too frozen to move, to fighting with every fiber of his being and then trying to take it as a positive thing? Which, well, it's a realistic reaction to it, but also heartbreaking.

It's not exactly "rape", but it has pretty much everything a rape can have without penetration? So it basically felt like the same thing to me.

It's quite a long chapter, it's considerably graphic (at least for me), took me over 2 hours to finish it (maybe it was even closer to 3 hours, I don't remember anymore, but I struggled a lot), I kept taking pauses, whenever I thought it was over it kept going and kept getting worse.

It is well-written in the way that makes sense, that moves the story, that narrates and describes what's happening with details, that you can really picture it in your head, that is extremely intense and emotional... But it's obviously not an exciting part.

I feel bad for the way Lestat immediately shifts afterwards and tries to make the most of it. Not that I wanted him to be miserable and feeling sorry for himself, but I'm like, something terrible happened to you and it's okay to take time to deal with it. I'm not even sure he understands how traumatic that was? If he does, he doesn't acknowledge it, let alone admit it. Not even to himself. And it's just frustrating.

Even after I read it, it stuck with me and took me more than a day to get over. I kept remembering it even when I was doing totally different stuff.

It's cool to navigate through things with him as Lestat finds more about how his body and powers operate.

When he went to the village and began to experiment with his powers was fun. Him jumping, cutting trees and whatever the other silly things he was doing and I can't fully remember... It was like an ADHD child high on sugar and sort of cute.

Is that presence... Armand?

You can take the man out of the church, but you can't take the church out of the man (or the vampire), apparently.

This probably isn't necessary, but I want that scene that he sees the house with the family and reads their thoughts? The idea of seeing the thoughts of babies is so sweet... It's not even for him, it's more of a me thing, I guess. I would just like to see it. I don't know. Maybe I'm being too sensitive and PMSing lol. Don't @ me.

Lestat has kissed so many people at this point and he hardly gives details, so I'm like, what are you kissing? A cheek? A hand? A mouth? Is it a friendly peck on the lips? Is it tongue-kissing? Elaborate? I mean, I don't care because the way he does it feels as trivial as a fart lmao. The only one he really has a deeper relationship with so far is Nicki, so I only kind of care about Lestat with him. It's not really a problem, but I just find the whole thing vague and ridiculous lol.

It's not even Lestat that has BPD, but BPD has Lestat at this point. The man is intense, has crazy mood swings, has extreme reactions to things, engages in dangerous behavior, is highly irresponsible with money, has a chronic fear of being alone... I know one when I see it. And vampirism didn't fix it, it only made it worse.

A bit off topic, but there's something about France that is so enchanting? I've always been obsessed with it in some ways, some places, the architecture, the language, the art... It's not like I'm a big nerd or anything, I can't barely name stuff to save my life, but just looking, hearing and thinking about it... There's just some charm to it. I've realized that the simple fact of stories being set in France makes me excited for some reason. I would love if they filmed there and in some of my favorite spots (cough Sainte-Chapelle and Carcassonne cough), for the mere reason it would look gorgeous and they should because I said so. Maybe in a past life I lived there or something, but I've always had that fascination, God knows why.

"Why the hell did Anne write and word it like that?" moment #1, I guess. At least it was fast and I can erase it from my memory.

The book has gotten quite faster and more eventful now, it's definitely better than when I first started it. I hate when it takes too long for things to happen, so this pace is good. And crucial moments happen pretty early on, which I appreciate. It's nice to know I've read some of the most important events by now, even as disturbing as they are. One of the downsides of being in this fandom is not having the full information, so already knowing part of the big events is satisfying.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat's narration, which can be unreliable. I'm reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I'll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I'm enjoying it. I'm posting these comments only for fun.

[otaku553]

The way you described sarie in the tags of your Sabo au reminds me a lot about boa and my favorite interpretation of her love for luffy: that boa isn’t really in love w luffy, she’s just so traumatized that she thinks she’s in love the first time she meets a guy that sees her for the person she is and doesn’t judge her for her past. Sarie seems like she’s the same way, with Sabo treating her well and making her believe that she’s in love when she’s rlly just experiencing decency for the first time

Heheheh yeah! I agree strongly on that for Boa and Luffy, I think that Boa does not actually feel romantic attraction to luffy but is just so alienated from this feeling of platonic friendship as a result of being the object of other people’s attraction and having been exposed to that for so long, what she has with luffy is unique and she comes to perceive it as “love,” just not necessarily the kind of love she thinks it is.

That said, with Sarie, I do feel that it is a bit different! It’s not so much “decency” that she is experiencing for the first time from Sabo, but rather honesty. The problem with being a princess is that everyone tells her that they love her, and at some point, she must realize that these are shallow words that people use to endear themselves to her for ulterior motives. I’ve been turning around this phrase in my head: ‘the realm of nobility is not one in which truths are said.’ Sarie herself is such a strong example of this in canon with her verbal tic of triple negations which make it very difficult to understand her, so playing on that, I think she would also have an intimate understanding of the ways nobles twist words and never say things straight out.

Now take Sabo, who has been one of her suitors for the better part of their teenage years, who she knows his parents have been trying to get with her to get an in to the royal family for ages, and he talks to her the night before she makes the decision on who to marry as the princess, who to choose as the third heir to the throne, and he says: “look. We both know that this is something my parents have always wanted more than me. You don’t have to choose me.” And she asks what he would do if he were king, and he answers about all the people he would help and all the ideas he has to better Goa for the masses, and. She’s charmed. I think Sabo is, if nothing else, capable of being extremely extremely genuine about the good he wants to do in the world, and he makes clear to her, in no uncertain terms, that he would be a good king, but doesn’t want to be king because he both respects her choice and knows that he is doing this for ulterior motives.

That honesty, in his moment of vulnerability, is what wins her over. But not quite just that— it is the way that he is so determined to save others, when she has been thinking for the past years about how miserable he looks and how she wants to save him somehow.

Now also, imagine that Sarie has been told for all her life the words “I love you.” And not a single time has those words been said in truth, in full genuine affection and care for her as a person rather than her as a princess, her as a vehicle to the throne, her as a political token for the royal family, her as a mascot and mouthpiece. I think this honesty that Sabo shows is a lifeline she clings onto, because she knows after his confession that he is capable, in moments of vulnerability, of being honest. And I think she truly wants to hear Sabo say to her, honestly, the words “I love you.” I think she wants to know that there is at least someone in the world that truly loves her, and she just thinks it will be easiest with Sabo because she can give Sabo everything he wants: means to help the people through political authority. She just gives it in what she hopes will be an exchange for his honest love.

I have very many thoughts about Sarie haha :) I don’t think she’s a good person, but I do think she has the potential to be a very complex character. This au is largely my way of examining the ways growing up with nobility might have affected the characters that are most closely associated with nobility. I think they must be very fucked up but in different ways from the main one piece cast and its usual supporting characters.

[thebeesareback]

The big Robert Baratheon thoughts

There are several characters within the ASOIAF universe who could comfortably be the protagonist of their own book/series, and GRRM has spoken about how, when writing a character, he tries to see all the major events through their eyes and how it would have affected their lives. Dany and Oberyn are good examples of this, and a shorter book/series could comfortably have either one of them as the main character. If a fic writer is looking for any inspiration, I think a lot could be drawn from Dany in Vaes Toloro.

Another of them is a character who almost seems like a false protagonist in GOT: King Robert Baratheon. The people who don't know him think he's amazing, the people who do know him despise him. He has a fleshed-out backstory, character and the power to influence the plot in many different ways. Yet he's killed off quickly, and I think the fan community often overlooks him as a simple drunken idiot. So I'd like to dig a little deeper.

Robert's life can easily be sectioned into three parts: pre-rebellion era, the rebellion era and the post-rebellion era. Most of what we see comes from Ned Stark, and later we have flashbacks from Cersei which show a much darker and thoroughly rotten man.

To start: Robert is the first born son of House Baratheon, a clan with significant power and influence. He's exactly the kind of young man the Westerosi patriarchal "might makes right" system rewards -- the sort of son Randyl Tarly would love to have. He's an excellent fighter, charming, good looking ("muscled like a maiden's fantasy", oh Ned). There's also a kindness there. When he's fostered at the Eeire he sends for a gift of oranges for Jon Arryn, and although the fruit goes bad, he's not upset and instead plays with the other teenagers. It's silly and funny and the most childish we ever see him.

He isn't always lovely, of course. In Stannis' memory, Robert is unpleasant. He mocks Stannis' falcon and, therefore, Stannis himself. However, Stannis is a miserable shit, and this comment comes after they've spent years disliking each other, so there's obvious bias. Robert seemed to be happy to be away from his family, and so some alienation from his brothers does make sense. Robert and Stannis go through the ordeal of watching their parents die, and it's understandable that this would cause issues in their relationship. Perhaps that's why they pushed each other away. Having a walking, whining reminder of that trauma can't have been pleasant, and the desire to pretend that everything is ok and ignore problems gets more persistent as the years go on.

The third thing we hear about from Robert's pre-rebellion era is his relationship with Mya Stone. I'm not totally clear on the timeline, so I don't know if it's 1. parents' death > 2. Mya's birth > 3. the rebellion or if 1 and 2 are the other way around. Either way, Robert seems to adore his daughter. Ned thinks about how frequently they visited her, and how much Robert enjoyed spending time with her. In a kinder story, Robert would have always been close to Mya. Then the rebellion starts.

There are, of course, lots of things which lead to the rebellion. I don't think Tywin was going to put up with the Mad King for much longer, and Rhaegar felt the same way. Then you have the coalition between the Starks, Baratheons, Tullys and Arryns, and at some point Varys and "Young Griff" would have popped up. For Robert, though, things were straightforward: he wanted Lyanna, and Rhaegar took her away. He remarks to Ned that "Seven Kingdoms couldn't fill the whole she left". It's clear that he didn't actually know Lyanna that well, and it could easily be argued that the reason he worshipped her memory was a mix of affection for Ned and a desire to return to a time where he wasn't traumatised.

Obviously, war is traumatic. That's kind of the point of the series. Everyone who fought in Robert's Rebellion is changed in some way and the scars, literal and metaphorical, run deep. Stannis broods over his "rewards". Ned misses his sister, brother and father. Catelyn is aware of the loss of her betrothed, and Lady Dustin crystalises her rage. Jamie is ostracised and bitter. Jon Connington promises more violence. The list goes on. The things Robert sees during the campaign clearly change him, and this brings us back to Mya.

One of the key themes of the series, most prominently in the first book, is the idea that the innocent should not be sacrificed. That's why Ned works so hard to protect Jon and why he resigns his handship when Robert wants to kill Dany. Something happened to Robert during the rebellion, where his hatred of the Targaryens solidifies so much that it becomes the only thing he really wants. Other things, like his love of his daughter or the belief that children should be protected, all go and he's left with Tywin Lannister and the corpses of Rhaenys and Aegon.

Robert doesn't have to make peace with the Lannisters. In fact, lots of people (the Starks, the Dornish and the people of King's Landing) would be much happier if he didn't. Tywin ordered a horrific thing, and Robert rewarded him. For me, this is where Robert becomes the man we meet in Game of Thrones. He's so broken inside that he does nothing, and tries to pretend that he's still the person he was as a teenager.

After the rebellion, Robert goes on to have plenty more children. If he loved Mya and wanted to see her all the time, after the rebellion he forgets her. And she's the lucky one! Robert must know that Cersei has his twins drowned, he ignores Barra and Gendry, and he only acknowledges Edric Storm because he has to. Then there are the kids who are legally "his", even if biologically they're not. I don't think we ever see him interact with Tommen or Myrecella, and his relationship with Joffrey isn't good. Sure, Joffrey is a little shit, but you could argue that it's partially because of Robert's treatment. Stannis thinks, at one point, that Robert might have killed Joffrey because he hit him so hard.

Why does Robert detach? Well, there's the trauma, the general depression, the loneliness, the disconnect between *conceiving* children and *the actual children*. I think, as well, there's the knowledge that, by allowing Tywin to get away with the murder of the Targaryen children, he's set a precedent whereby the same thing could easily happen to his own kids. If someone needed to get rid of Robert -- and there are people who would like him gone -- they would come after Joffrey, Tommen and Myrecella, and perhaps his bastards, too. He can't protect them, and it shames his chivalric ideals, so he disconnects, doesn't care, and drinks excessively. It might be a way of dealing with guilt, or a way he protects himself from losing anyone else. Ultimately, Joffrey, Tommen and Myrecella are doomed; Edric only escaped sacrifice because of Pylos and Davos, and might well get mixed up in a Varys/"Young Griff" scheme; all of the bastards in King's Landing are killed; and if Gendry survives, it's because of plot armour. Nobody cares about Mya, really.

There's plenty to say about the Robert/Cersei match. Firstly, I'd like to mention how much I enjoy the show-only scene where the two discuss their marriage. It's heartbreaking, well written and beautifully acted, and gives some depth which makes the experience richer.

None of the Lannisters like Robert, with the exception of Tyrion. Tyrion likes Robert because Cersei doesn't, but their creepy and destructive bond is a whole other issue. Ned thinks that Robert was a man with "big appetites", and a clear desire to be loved. It probably means he wasn't ever going to be a good husband, which Lyanna points out (in a line which I cannot imagine a 14-year old ever saying, but I digress). Robert loved the thrill of the chase and the first few weeks of a relationship, but wasn't willing to really emotionally attach to anyone. Perhaps it's because, like with his children, he had to keep people away in case he lost them, like Lyanna.

Cersei is her own woman and, to be honest, not a very good wife. Robert thinks he would have been happy with Lyanna, Cersei thinks she would have been happy with Rhaegar: both are wrong. She starts her wedding day by having sex with her brother; she regularly cuckolds her husband, and then she finishes off by murdering her husband. You could argue that her behaviour is driven by Robert's physical and sexual abuse, and his emotional distance and obvious disdain. I don't think that's incorrect, per se, I just think there's a nasty mix with the two of them. They're bad alone and worse together. They're a toxic, unhappy, traumatised mix, and a solid argument for Westerosi divorce.

Finally, there's Robert's alcoholism and his love of food. There are a number of reasons for this -- the genre's enthusiasm for descriptions of feasts; parallels with Henry VIII of England; possibly GRRM simply likes adding his favourite meals, similar to how he created House Estermont so there could be turtles, because he had pet turtles. Obesity is the sort of thing that's pretty common in middle age men who used to be very physically active, because they had to eat lots to make up their calorie deficit, and when the exercise stopped, the food continued. As for alcohol, it gives Robert an opportunity to forget his (admittedly plentiful) responsibilities and woes, makes him feel like a hero, and gives him an excuse for his abuse of Cersei. He rapes her, and when she brings it up, he says "it was not me, but the wine", then REACHES FOR A BEER. I'm certainly not qualified to talk about addiction and trauma, so if anyone has thoughts on this, please add a comment.

In Shakespeare's Macbeth, the eponymous character snatches the crown at his wife's goading, and then finds that things disintegrate around him. There's a scene in the play where two servants talk about what's going on in Scotland, and one says that two horses fought, and one ate the other. When a monarch is usurped, in literature, nature goes against itself. In real life, revolutions are messy and complicated and difficult. Robert Baratheon fought a rebellion to get his fiance back, whilst others used him and worked alongside him for their own reasons. He was left holding a rotten crown. Abused and abuser, surrounded by toxicity and exuding his own hatred, one could easily create a novel about his disillusionment.

[pedroscurls]

Third Time’s A Charm (Part 4).

Character(s): Frankie “Catfish” Morales, Reader (female, second person POV) Summary: Frankie and his wife, Victoria, have a conversation before he leaves for Colombia. Afterwards, you have the guys over for dinner before they leave for their mission. Word Count: 3,707 Author's Note: I hope you are all enjoying this story! Frankie’s wife now has a name and some backstory / preview of their relationship. Also, all the feedback I’m receiving really means a lot to me, so thank you for taking the time to read this. This story is very, very close to my heart for plenty of reasons... And also bc Frankie Morales has my heart🥹 Warning: None.

Frankie was packing a small duffel bag when Victoria entered the bedroom. She was leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched him.

“So, Colombia?” She asked.

Frankie glanced over at her and nodded, zipping up his bag. “I’m gonna spend the night at Santiago’s. We’re leaving tomorrow morning.” 

Victoria sighed, walking over to him. When she rested a hand gently on his back, though, Frankie felt conflicted. He glanced down at her and bit the inside of his cheek. He did care about her, so much, but he couldn’t help his mind drifting to you. He knew how wrong it was, and while he hadn’t physically cheated on his wife, he did believe that there was such a thing as emotional cheating. And Frankie had definitely cheated on his wife in that instance.

“You going to be okay?” She asked, gently running her fingertips along his back. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Francisco,” Victoria sighed. 

“It’s just a boy’s trip, Vic.” Frankie lied, turning to face her. He grabbed his bag and draped it over his shoulder. “Just a week and I’ll be back.”

“I’ll miss you.”

Frankie bit his lower lip. He hated how his marriage was always hot and cold, never somewhere in the middle. When shit hit the fan and things became rocky, Victoria wanted nothing to do with him, but when he was fine, sober, and clear-minded, his marriage with her was amazing. But when the times were rough, Frankie felt the most alone, the most miserable. He knew that she didn’t mean to act like he was a burden, always bothered by him when he wasn’t feeling well because after all, not many people understood that post-traumatic stress disorder was a real thing. So, Frankie couldn’t even blame Victoria. 

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Frankie said, flashing a small smile. “If you need anything, just call me, okay?” 

She nodded. “I was thinking, when you get back,” Victoria said, following Frankie out of their bedroom and towards the front door. “Maybe we can go to couple’s therapy?” 

Frankie tightened his jaw and gripped the handle of his duffel bag. “Why?” 

“We have…” She sighed. “A lot to work on and I want this to work, for us to grow together.” 

“But we’re fine.”

“We’re not, Frankie.”

“We are.”

“Jesus, Frankie! You were fucking using cocaine. How is that fine?” 

Frankie sighed. “I’m two months sober.” 

“I know.” Victoria sighed, looking up at him. “Just– I think it’d be good for us, talk about our problems with someone else who can help.”

Frankie looked down at her and didn’t know what to say. He didn’t believe that going to couple’s therapy would even work; he also didn’t want to subject himself to the idea that the therapy sessions will just be an attack on him and his own issues. 

“Victoria,” he sighed. “I really don’t want to go to couple’s therapy.”

She shook her head and took a step away from him. “Then how are we supposed to get through this?” 

“Through what? I’m doing the best that I can. Isn’t that enough?” Frankie sighed, his grip on the handle of his duffel bag tightening even further. He was getting frustrated, but not only at Victoria, but also at himself. All he wanted to do was leave, go to Santiago’s, and then have dinner at your place. That was supposed to be the plan for tonight before he and the guys leave for Colombia tomorrow, and while he was excited to see you again, all he could feel was the heaviness wearing on his shoulders. 

“Francisco, your license was suspended. Do you not realize how serious that is?” 

“Jesus, Vic!” Frankie raised his voice, which was very out of character for him. He felt the walls closing in on him, trapping him in a corner, and he was becoming more and more anxious and frustrated by the second. “I am doing my best,” he sighed, defeated. “I swear I am…” 

Victoria sighed, turning on her heel. She was tired of fighting, Frankie knew. “Have a safe trip, Francisco.” It was all she said before she turned the corner to the hallway, leaving him standing near the front door of their home. He felt a heaviness settle in his chest and he glanced around. This had been a loving home in the beginning, but now it brought him more pain. Coming home used to be something he looked forward to after a long day at work, being able to just unwind and relax, but as time progressed, it had become more and more of a place he didn’t want to stay for too long. Being home had brought him so much loneliness, despite having Victoria there. 

Frankie was struggling, but he meant what he said: he was trying, but some days were just tougher than others. 

He was brought out of his thoughts when his phone rang. He took a deep breath and left his home, setting his bag in his truck as he looked at the caller ID, noticing that Santiago was calling him. 

Taking a deep breath, Frankie started his truck and answered the call. “I’m on the way, Pope.” 

“Great,” he said. “You mind if we pick up Redfly?” Santiago asked. 

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll see you in a bit.”

After hanging up, Frankie pulled out of the driveway and made his way to Santiago’s apartment. His mind drifted to so many places: to you, Victoria, this upcoming mission in Colombia… Frankie couldn’t stop thinking and when he finally pulled up to Santiago’s place, he made a mental note to do his best to just remain quiet. It was something that was normal for him anyway. Putting on his Standard Heating Oil hat, Frankie grabbed his bag and walked to the front door of Santiago’s place. 

—

“You good?” Santiago asked. 

Frankie nodded, making his way to Tom’s house. “Just thinking about Colombia,” he lied. “Been reading your plan, memorizing it, things like that. Just wanna make sure we get in and out of there without any issue.”

“Fish,” Santiago sighed. “We got this. We’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” Frankie replied. He glanced over at Santiago, noticing how the other man was staring intently at him. Santiago was Frankie’s best friend and it had been tough for him the past couple of years without Santiago in Florida. He knew that he was doing good work down in Colombia, trying his best to clean up the mess down there, but Frankie missed him, missed being able to just talk to someone. He had Tom, Will, and Benny, but his friendship with Santiago was different. They had known each other before their time in the military; they had more history and he was also the reason why Frankie met you. 

“What’s going on, Fish?” 

“Nothin’.” Frankie replied quickly. “Just thinking.”

“About her?” 

Frankie glanced over at Santiago. “About a lot of things.”

“And one of those things being her, right?” Santiago let out a quiet chuckle. “You know, we’re heading to her place for dinner. If I can see that something’s wrong, you know that she will too.” 

Frankie sighed. “It’s just Vic,” he replied. “She wants to go to couple’s therapy after Colombia.” 

Santiago cleared his throat. “Oh, what’d you say?” 

“Told her I don’t want to go. I don’t see a point in it.” Frankie admitted. “I just– I just feel like it’s gonna be all about what’s wrong with me…” 

Santiago sighed, “Have you talked to Tom about all of this?” 

Frankie shook his head. “He’s already got a lot on his plate, Pope.”

“And I know that you asking him for some advice won’t add more to it, Fish. You already know where I stand with you and your relationships,” Santiago replied. “You’re not happy, man.”

Frankie sighed. “I’m trying my hardest, Pope,” he pulled up to the driveway of Tom’s house and honked the horn, alerting the other man that they were here. He glanced over at Santiago and let out a quiet and shaky breath. “I just feel like whatever I do, it isn’t good enough for Victoria.” 

Santiago tightened his jaw and reached over to clasp a hand on Frankie’s shoulder. “If you’re not happy, Fish, then why are you with her?”

“I made a vow, Pope,” Frankie said. 

“Vows can be broken.”

“It isn’t that simple.”

Santiago was about to reply before both men turned their attention to Tom, who was coming out of his garage with a bag of his own. “Seems pretty simple to me, Frankie. I guess you have to ask yourself if staying with Vic is doing more damage than good…” Then, he climbed out of the truck to help Tom with his things. Strategically, Santiago allowed Tom to sit in the front with Frankie, knowing very well that Tom would notice that something was wrong with Frankie too. 

“Thanks for driving, Fish,” Tom said, climbing into the truck. 

“Yeah, it’s no problem, Redfly.” Frankie waited until both men were buckled in before making his way to your apartment. 

“Benny and Will are already there,” Tom added. “And they told me to tell you, Pope, to be nice.”

“What?” Santiago chuckled.

“She mentioned her cooking and how you–”

Santiago let out a loud laugh. “Okay, okay. I’ll give her a second chance.”

Tom chuckled. “What happened anyway?”

Frankie was happy to focus on driving, allowing Tom and Santiago to talk as Santiago told him about the story of you cooking dinner one time and not realizing that most of your ingredients were expired. Frankie remembered that night; it was when you were both still in a relationship and it brought him back to plenty of memories that he missed. 

Frankie’s mind had drifted as he continued to drive, not realizing that Tom was calling his name. When Tom reached out to gently touch Frankie’s shoulder, he flinched and turned to look at Tom once they were at a redlight.

“You okay, Frankie?” Tom asked.

“Fine,” he replied.

Tom glanced over his shoulder at Santiago who just shrugged. “Are you worried about Colombia? I read Pope’s plan plenty of times and–”

“When did you know that your marriage with Molly was over?” Frankie blurted. “That no matter how hard you tried, it just wasn’t enough.”

Tom furrowed a brow, taken aback by the sudden question. Molly was still a very sensitive subject, but he felt safe and comforted by the guys, so he didn’t mind talking to them about it. “I don’t know, Fish,” he replied honestly. “I tried until she served me divorce papers.” 

Frankie nodded, sighing quietly. “I’m tired,” he finally admitted. “I just– I don’t know what to do.”

Tom sighed to himself and looked down at his left hand. He missed Molly, still loved her, and he was still trying to make sense of it all. Behind closed doors, Tom was struggling, which he was sure that each of the other guys were too. Not only did he feel like he failed as a husband, but he felt like he was also failing his daughter, Tess. 

“Do you want my advice, Frankie?” Tom asked sincerely. 

Frankie nodded, finally pulling up at your apartment. He glanced at your front door, remembering the night you both shared last week and how you both had admitted you still loved each other. Frankie knew what he wanted, but it wasn’t that simple. 

“Yes,” Frankie replied. “Help me make sense of this.”

Santiago was listening, looking between both men from the back seat of the truck. He hated how his friends were in pain, struggling, and that he wasn’t even here for them. He had been in Colombia, too busy to even check in with Frankie, with Tom, Benny, and Will. Part of him felt guilty, but he just hoped that the payout of this mission would at least be the beginning of him making it up to them. 

Tom looked at Frankie, noticing how he was looking away. “Making the decision to end a marriage is never easy,” he started. “And while I wasn’t the one asking for a divorce, it still wasn’t easy to give Molly what she wanted, but I saw how being with me was hurting her and I–” Tom bit his lower lip. “I just wanted her happy, even if that meant that it wasn’t going to be with me.” 

Santiago reached out, resting a hand on Tom’s shoulder for moral support. Tom lifted the corner of his lips, nodding in the other man’s direction as a sign of appreciation. 

“You love so hard and so deep, Fish,” Tom added. “You’re not failing if you decide this relationship is no longer working. You deserve to be happy, and so does Victoria.”

Frankie sighed, glancing over at Santiago and then back at Tom. “It’s just gonna break her heart, Tom…” 

Tom sighed, “I know, Fish. Like I said, it isn’t easy, but it’s something you have to really think about.”

Frankie nodded and motioned towards your apartment, noticing how you were standing outside and waving excitedly. “Thanks, Tom. I appreciate it.” 

Tom nodded, reaching a hand out to squeeze Frankie’s shoulder before motioning towards your front door. “We should probably head over before she gets angry.”

Santiago smiled, “Yeah, probably a good idea.” 

Frankie let out a heavy breath and climbed out of the truck, following Tom and Santiago to your front door. He remained in the back, waiting his turn as you gave hugs to each man. When both Tom and Santiago entered your apartment and joined Will and Benny, Frankie was surprised when you took the initiative to shut the door, giving you both some alone time.

“Hi,” you said. 

“Hello, hermosa.”

You bit your lower lip and noticed how his shoulders were slightly slumped forward, his hands fidgety at his sides. There was something on Frankie’s mind, but instead of asking him what was wrong, you just tugged on his arm to pull him into a hug. Your arms snaked around his neck and Frankie moved his hands out of his pockets to wrap his arms around you. Almost immediately, Frankie buried his face against the side of your neck and let out a relieved breath. 

“You okay?” You asked quietly.

Frankie just nodded, holding you tighter. He didn’t have to say anything for you to know that something was wrong. You held him for a few seconds longer before pulling away, gently resting a hand on his chest. 

“You hungry?” 

Frankie nodded. “Starving.” 

“Come on then.” You led him back inside your apartment, both of you going your separate ways with Frankie meeting up with the rest of the guys in the dining room and you walking into the kitchen to finish cooking. 

—

After dinner, you and the rest of the guys were sitting at your dining table, sharing stories as laughter filled your home. This was nice, it felt like before, when you were still in a relationship with Frankie. It was comforting to know that you all could slip back into this friendship after all this time. 

“So, one week,” you said, sipping your glass of wine. “And you will all be back from Colombia.”

Will nodded. “One week,” he confirmed. “What will you do while we’re gone?” Will teased.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you sighed heavily. “I suppose just wait around for you all to get back.”

You all shared a laugh as you looked around the table. Each man had a special place in your heart in each of their own ways. This mission in Colombia sounded dangerous and despite knowing that each man sitting at your table was more than capable of handling themselves, you were still worried. There were so many things that could go wrong. 

Will noticed the sudden distant look in your eyes and reached over to rest a hand over yours. “We will be okay.” 

You sighed, looking up at him. To his right, Benny nodded in agreement. “We got each other,” Benny smiled. “And we’ll be back before you know it.”

Tom was sitting next to you and he gently reached over to rest a hand on your shoulder, leaning over to give you a gentle kiss on your temple. The gesture was out of endearment, a friendly kiss that was meant to give you comfort. “Will you check on Tess while I’m away?” 

You looked up at Tom. “Of course,” you replied. “I think she’ll be happy to know that you’re working with the guys again.” 

Tom let a small smile line his lips. “She’s growing too fast for my liking. Already a teenager.” 

You smiled. “Before you know it, she’s gonna be dating and–”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Please don’t. That’s my little girl,” he chuckled. “She isn’t dating until she’s old enough.”

“She’s sixteen, Tom.”

“Still too young.” 

You laughed, gently nudging him with your shoulder. “She’ll be in good hands while you’re away, don’t worry.” 

“Thank you,” he said with sincerity. 

You and Santiago shared a look and you let out a quiet sigh. “Be safe, Santi. I’m serious. That goes for all of you… Be safe.” 

“It’s like Will and Benny said, we have each other. We’ll be fine.” 

“I know,” you sighed. “I know you guys are more than capable of taking care of yourselves, but just– Come back home, okay?” 

You glanced between them, your eyes settling on Frankie who was sitting across from you. He nodded in your direction, his hands fidgeting with his beer bottle. He had been mostly quiet the entire evening, only chiming in with one or two word sentences. You wondered if he was worried about this mission to Colombia or if it was something else. 

Did admitting your love for each other cross a line? Oh, of course it did. The man is married and you had told him you still loved him.

“Thank you for dinner,” Frankie finally said. “It was great.” 

The rest of the guys added in their gratitude with Santiago teasing you a little extra that at least this meal was edible and so far, he didn’t feel any effects of the food. You rolled your eyes playfully before taking another look around the table. 

“I love you guys,” you said.

Will, Benny, Tom, and Santiago all smiled, standing from their seats to give you a hug. You let out a relieved breath and noticed how Frankie was still seated. He was staring at you, eyes soft and sad. 

The four men who had given you a hug exchanged a look and pointed towards your patio. “You mind if we have a smoke?” Santiago asked, hinting to the rest of the guys that they should give you and Frankie some space. 

“Sure, just be sure to close the door behind you.” 

Santiago nodded and followed Tom, Will, and Benny to your patio. Once the door shut, you looked over at Frankie and bit your lower lip. 

“Can I show you something?” You asked, breaking the silence.

Frankie nodded. “Sure.”

You stood from your chair and motioned towards the hallway to your bedroom. You started walking, hearing Frankie get up from his seat at the table and follow you towards your room. Once there, he watched you step inside to grab something from your closet. Frankie took this time to look around, noticing how neat and clean your room was and the plenty of books stacked on your desk in the corner. 

Then, he heard you let out a grunt as you tried to reach for the shoebox at the top shelf in your closet. He let out a chuckle, setting his beer down and walking over to you. He stood behind you, reaching over you to grab the shoebox that you were desperately trying to reach for. His body was hovering dangerously close to yours and your shampoo filled his senses. 

“Still need help reaching for things, I see,” he teased. 

You gently pushed him back, causing a grunt to escape Frankie’s lips. You turned around and looked up at him, grabbing the shoebox from him and feigning a pout. “You’re just conveniently tall and I’m… Well, I’m not.”

Frankie chuckled and took a step back, watching as you rummaged through the shoebox before you finally found what you were looking for. He noticed the polaroid in your hands and when you handed it to him, Frankie bit the inside of his cheek. 

It was a picture of you, him, and the rest of the guys, but it wasn’t an ordinary picture, though. In fact, it was the celebration that the guys threw for you when they all found out you had gotten accepted to your dream school in California. 

“You take that with you,” you said. 

“But–”

You shook your head. “If things get bad out there or if something goes wrong, you– you show this to the guys, okay?”

“Hermosa…” Frankie sighed. “It’s only one week and–”

“If it’s only a week, then it shouldn’t be a problem. Just promise me.”

“Okay,” he nodded. 

“That way, I’ll be with you guys while you’re all there in Colombia. If things–” you sighed, not wanting to think of the negative possibilities. “Just use that as a reminder that I’m waiting for you all back here, okay?” 

Frankie nodded. “Okay, hermosa.”

“And whatever’s on your mind,” you said, stepping up to him and reaching up to cup his cheek, “just know that it’ll all work out.”

Frankie shut his eyes and leaned against your touch, reaching up to rest a hand over yours. “How do you know?” he whispered.

You shrugged, running your thumb across his jawline and over his patchy beard. “I don’t,” you admitted. “But somehow, it always does in the end.” 

Frankie sighed quietly and turned his head to press his lips to the inside of your palm. He reveled in your touch, taking comfort in it. He knew that his focus needed to be on the mission in Colombia, but all he could think about was you. 

“One week,” you said quietly. “Just one week.” 

Frankie nodded against you. 

It was going to be one long week in Colombia. 

---

Part 5.

Taglist: @harriedandharassed

[quranwithsehar]

You were applying for a job, but it didn't work out. You were really hoping it would work out, or you were really hoping to get accepted into the university. Unfortunately, you didn't get accepted at the university. Those are the kinds of tests where you could feel depressed or sad, but you can't live in that sadness. Feeling those emotions at first doesn't mean you don't have Sabr. You can have those feelings and experience those emotions, then pick yourself up and try again.

So, you can have a dip, a low, and a high – that's being human. Allah didn't create us as angels. Sometimes we may face other trials, for example, an engagement that broke off, a marriage that ended miserably, or not wanting parents to get divorced, and they did. These situations involve people, people doing things that hurt us or things we wish they didn't do.

I think the solace, at least for me, comes from the stories in the Quran where people much better than us, like Yunus, had no control over his family. He didn't have any control; Ibrahim, an incredible human being, had no say in his father's choices. We cannot control other people's choices, and sometimes those choices deeply hurt us. People much better than us were hurt deeply. Ibrahim AS being kicked out of his house was not easy; being married to Firaun was not easy. For Musa AS, running away from home was not easy. These people were traumatized by many terrible experiences. Allah taught us through them that we can only control what is within our grasp, and we have to learn to let go of what isn't.

In the end, we say, "To Allah, we belong, and to Him, we are going to return." Any problem I'm having, how long is it going to last? Well, as long as I last. I'm not here for that long. When I think about the grand scheme of things, this problem isn't as big as I think it is. And of course, Allah has given us hope too. After every difficulty, there is great ease. Now, put yourself in their shoes; how much did the companions love the Prophet? When he died, how devastated were they? In that moment, for them to believe the Quran is still there, saying, "With difficulty comes twice the ease." They were devastated, in tears, broken, but their faith allowed them to heal and move forward. Allah created so much ease for the ummah afterwards.

That's just this life; it's going to come with trials and difficulties. Allah has made us mentally prepared that life isn't going to be easy; He said it many times. We all have trials; don't believe someone else has an easy life because they appear to on social media. Everyone has things causing them hurt; the person next to you has things causing them hurt. These influencers may talk about the blessings of Allah, but that doesn't mean they're showered with blessings every morning and have no issues.

Sometimes we run after things that are not real, believing them to be real because someone else has them. We may think others don't have any challenges, but everyone deals with their own pain. Allah tests people differently, but we don't see the other person's trial or know that their trial is the same as ours. We might wonder why Allah is not testing someone else or why we couldn't have it easy like they do. We don't know their reality, so these thoughts should give us some comfort. Whatever trial Allah has picked for me, whatever loss, whatever experience, is something I'm supposed to learn from, learn and grow from. Keep moving forward.

-Ustad Nouman Ali Khan

[candyskiez]

Yo, what do you think about jasper, her arc and character as a whole?

(Also your explanation of pearl was so good I loved it)

oooo good question!

jasper, imo, is a very good portrayal of an abuser. she's so realistic, dude. she isn't evil, mustache twirling. she's a person who's abusive and THATS what makes her relationship with lazuli gutwrenching. because it's something you'd see in real life. it's not black and white. it's two deeply fucked up and traumatized people hurting each other. it's not good vs evil. it's two people who are horrible for each other.

jasper is just. extremely realistic to me. she's someone who hurts people around her to make them stay, to make them look at her and admit that she's strong. she needs constant external validation because nothing fills that void in her life of someone treating her better. she hurts everyone and then is crushed by them leaving. she's so interesting because she NEEDS people near her but shes the one shoving them out. she's the one constantly hurting them and they leave to get away from being mistreated. it's. she has so much pressure and experiences so much constant mistreatment and she's convinced it's what makes her strong, it's what makes her special. to admit she's hurting would be to be weak. she convinces herself anyone leaving is a sign of weakness. it's not because of *her*, it's not because what she's like is bad. because admitting how she treats people is wrong is admitting how SHE was treated is wrong. and she can't do that. she can't handle reevaluating her entire identity being the next battle and the next fight and how much pain she can take. she can't let herself even consider changing, because that means admitting she was miserable. and only a weak gem would hate how they're supposed to be.

she's a victim and an abuser, those things aren't mutually exclusive and I wish people wouldn't act like they were. she was hurt so fucking badly, and she also hurt so many people so fucking badly.

her "everyone I fuse with leaves me" was haunting, man. it's, again, a very accurate depiction of an abuser who was caught in the cycle. you want to grab her and shake her and say, stop you're hurting yourself you're ruining your own life. but she refuses to see it and she refuses to get better and it. hurts to watch.

I see her as a cautionary tale. nobody can force you to change. YOU have to look at yourself and ask if you're the problem. YOU have to look at how you treat others before you scream that they left you. YOU have to look at your life and ask, is this what I want?

she's a cautionary tale and works well as one.

there is one thing I don't really like and that's how her being shattered was handled? her being shattered completely and then some how brought back was. Cheap, ngl. although her reaction to being shattered was. fucking terrifying. obviously from stevens point of view but also it's just so fucking telling about her mental state. she romanticized being shattered. she romanticized the thought of dying gloriously in battle. she respected steven for shattering her. it's just. fucking *horrifying.* did she WANT to be shattered? holy shit, is jasper suicidal ? the implications are. Awful. I don't want her to be around the others because she keeps hurting them but at the same time I'm going "someone fucking HELP her!" but she doesn't WANT help and it's. it's fucking hard to watch. she's so set on her own destruction and it's physically painful. she can't get better until *she* decides she wants to. that's the only way her pains going to stop.

I also don't like the way steven shattered her. I wish it was portrayed more how his thoughts of shattering white was. his anger, his trauma towards her, his hatred of how much pain she gave him and the fact he's just supposed to be FINE with it now. shattering jasper, though it told us a lot about her, ultimately felt repetitive? because I mean, we already get steven's urge to shatter white. and it's handled a little better. maybe steven going too far and severely damaging jaspers gem and her still being impressed to make the audience go "jasper wtf are you good" and "OH SHIT STEVEN" at the same time, while also adding more weight to his anger at white diamond,, I dunno, this is my scattered ramblings.

I get why some people wanted a redemption arc for jasper. I don't think there was enough time to make a satisfying one. I do think she could potentially heal still, but she HAS to realize it herself. everyone keeps trying to give her tools to heal, she refuses to take them. she has to start working on herself. I'm not against a jasper redemption whatsoever, hell I think if done right it could be good.

a thing I do want to say though, FUCK the idea of her getting back with lapis. they are *horrible* for each other. and I mean this both ways. both of them hurt and traumatized each other. lapis was miserable with her and *jasper was too.* they both can heal but they need to do that completely separately thank you very much.

confession, I have an OC named jasper so I was VERY confused by this ask at first. was about to write a five page essay on him. oops 😭 I have to refer to this jasper as jasper (gem) with my friends. which is also hard considering a nickname for jasper (OC) IS gem. and ironically in the steven universe au me and one friend are working on, jasper (oc) is a pearl, not a jasper, and it's. Yeah! we are so good at this.

hope you enjoyed my scrambled ramblings ksgdldjdk. sorry for disjointedness this isn't like a professional meta or anything it's just me rambling about a cool show.

(ask me things!)

[contentstarved]

canon soup v.ash kink canons

(like with c.loud... warning for non-detailed starvation talk because my new favorite traumatized blonde also has problems. so many problems. oh dear god he has problems.)

(OTHER NOTE: this is for my own personal v.ash i write with. i do have some hcs for 98 v.ash and 23 v.ash specifically but this guy's a mix of both)

* first and foremost: as a Plant (basically a living nuclear reactor), he has Quite the metabolism. he can photosynthesize to some extent, but it isn't enough for him; he has to eat human food and is capable of starving, but can last longer than your average person. he's gone ten months without eating before, though it was a miserable experience for him.

* incredibly self-sacrificing. it literally does not matter how bad he's doing, he will always put other people first. his body could be giving him hell and he'd still give up what food and water he has for other people because he believes he doesn't 'deserve' it as much as other people.

* as a result he is just. so hungry. all the time. at this point he's used to it, it's been a very long 100+ years of going hungry because he has major issues, but he's still a little embarrassed when his stomach decides to complain...

* and it, like him, is decidedly loud and insistent. it's a lot quieter when he actually eats his fill, but he usually doesn't, so he's generally in fucking hell. personally he just feigns ignorance. that ain't him. sure he hasn't eaten in days out of guilt but that ain't him. don't worry about it, what about you, are you okay, do you need something to eat?

* because of his own bullshit he gets nauseous pretty easily just because he's so damn hungry. this improves if he actually fucking eats. he just decides this is his life now. absolutely no one who travels with him is happy with his decisions, especially when he throws up in the desert and has the nerve to be like "i'm fine don't worry about me".

* when he DOES eat, he can actually pack away quite a bit. it comes with the territory of being almost constantly on the move and overexaggerating his actions to seem harmless, if INCREDIBLY weird. along with being, you know. a living nuke. it's a little impressive considering he's the lankiest 6'6" beanpole. good luck seeing that though.

* not to bring being a trans man into this but everything just gets worse when he has his period. he is in a hell of his own fucking making.

* would rather DIE than ask for food. he will do it privately thank you very much. or after much pressuring.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Wouldnt it be cool if Shigaraki/Tenko was the one to kill AFO (like in his mind)?? Maybe with a bit off from Deku ofc

I have mixed opinions about it. I'm not talking from the meta or narrative analysis side, but from what I'd like to read.

Then I started reading other peoples opinions and reflecting about it. I think I just got tired of AFO in general. I don't know why, there's not really a good explanation. It's something more subjective. Even when AFO is the one who kick-started the story, the haha world is so much more than him. There were many problems, many situations that have him involved, but he was not the only reason behind what happened. I was ready to move on, for the story to leave the beginning behind and for Tomura and Deku to own AFO and OFA.

At first I kinda wanted that exact scenario, with Tomura being the one erasing AFO because he embodies the people who suffered the most at his hands. It was a full cycle for me.

I've mentioned before, but I really liked how AFO died at Bakugo's hands. I thought it was very poetic. I'm very fond of Bakugo as a character, I really like how he started so flawed and how he built himself to become such a great kid. He's still learning, but he's getting there. The idea of him killing AFO was amazing to me. I was sooo happy to see a "secondary character" killing AFO. It was the most miserable death. AFO suffered, he was humiliated, it was awesome. It was a good way to show that one person doesn't have to do every single thing, because to that point almost every character was fighting and doing their part.

I thought it was an interesting choice for bnha to have the big bad being taken out by a secondary, leaving the protagonist to save and not to kill. It was cool that Tomura was being saved to. Maybe him not killing AFO was the point after all. He has done so much on his own, does he have to kill AFO to? Doesn't he deserve to be saved either by his friends or the people fighting to give him a second chance?

Honestly???

I wanted the League of Villains to save Tomura.

I thought that nothing would be more important to him than to be saved by his friends. They are his family, you know. I think the LOV had the right to kill AFO for what he did to Tomura, one of the people they love, respect and admire the most. I wanted the villains to be his hero. Tomura fought for the outcasts and they fought back for him.

Right now, Deku and Tomura teaming up to kill seems like a generic shone ending to me. Not bad or out of place. It's a "uh okay" and move on type of ending.

I thought it'd be funny if the story was like "this evil man has a hidden plan beware! beware! he'll be back!" only to reveal it was truly over. He was dead. Even AFO was just another person that died as a crying baby denying his fate, his mortality, the fragility of the man. I also always praised bnha for not bringing people back over and over, but sticking to the finality of a wound or a death.

It raises the stakes, you know?

So when the villain comes back and comes back and comes back and— okay, we get it, he's evil and smart and he wants world dominance and all that. What else? Him again?

Tomura's story could have been closed without an AFO come back. It wouldn't be less meaningful. Many victims are forced to move one without the subject of their trauma there to confront. At that point, it'd be a relief to see Tomura facing his own past without AFO there or at least knowing that the man who traumatized him was dead.

I want to see the LOV. I wanted to see Kurogiri with Tomura again. I wanted to see the reaction of the world watching Deku and Tomura emerge together from that fight. They didn't have to be there to witness, Tomura and Deku had their connection and it was only for them to know.

I'm rambling, I know. Sorry :( it's just that I wanted to explain that I don't dislike the idea of what you suggested, but it's also not my favorite concept anymore.

[krikeymate]

This is the tangent I mentioned here. Warning, this a very long post as I go through basically all the Sam & Tara scenes.

I don't think Tara was ever actually upset with Sam at all, she was upset with herself and lashing out in frustration. She was trying to ignore what happened and pretending to be normal, but Sam's worrying and hovering wouldn't let her forget, and she just doesn't know how to process what she’s dealing with so she shoves it down and down and down until it bursts open.

The leaving the party scene SCREAMS I'm mad at myself but you're a convenient target to redirect my anger at. Especially when combined with the conversation with Chad where she thanks him for not letting her go upstairs  and says "I guess I was more messed up than I realised" - which is a great use of a double entendre: messed up by the alcohol but also messed up by the trauma. Truth is that in that scene, she realised she had put herself in a shitty situation in her attempt to ignore her trauma, so when Sam calls her out on it, she gets defensive and snaps back at her.

Also, I just want to say that I called Tara being the subject of ‘A man attempts to coerce a clearly drunk woman to a bedroom to take advantage of her’ a week before the movie came out and I’m super smug about it.

ALSO: when Tara goes “If I wanna hook up with an asshole, that’s my decision. It’s my decision.” Sam, looks up and away and goes “oh-kay” and the expression on her face just makes me laugh on rewatches. I wonder if she’s having flashbacks to her own past behaviour, of if she’s had to deal with a drunk and upset Tara before. I definitely feel it’s an ‘oh boy here we go again’ kind of ok, especially given the twins reaction. 

THEN we get the “What are you doing here, Sam. In New York.” which is SO painful to watch. I don’t even know what I can say about that, it’s such a beautiful and emotional piece of dialogue and it HURTS. “I’m just trying to look out for you.” “I-... I know. I know you are. …But you can’t do it for the rest of my life though. You have to let me go.” – This part is Tara acknowledging that Sam has uprooted her life for Tara, and Tara telling her that she has to live her own life too. Ultimately, Tara’s journey in 6 is about deciding whether she wants her sister in her life, and in a meta sense, whether she wants to be ‘a final girl.’

Slight deviation here to talk about Chad/Tara – I’m sorry, I just don’t see it. It feels like Chad is the one with feelings for Tara, and in that bedroom conversation Tara is realising that. To be honest, I kinda feel like Tara wanted to use him in that scene, we’ve already seen that she was going to use a guy to ignore her problems; Chad is a safe option for her. I’m not saying she doesn’t have any feelings for Chad, I’m just saying I feel like… well, everyone wants to say they’re the new Gale & Dewey, except the thing is that Gale & Dewey weren’t some epic love story, they were two very different people who bonded through traumatic experiences but ultimately were never in compatible places and trying to be together made them miserable. I don’t have many feelings about Danny but I do think he’s hilarious in an accidental way and would love to keep him around. I get malewife vibes from him.

We get the scene where Sam wants to flee, this is just a classic Tara is in denial of everything happening all over again. We get the wonderful “before you make the unilateral decision to abandon my college education and flee the fucking state!” It’s there to build the does she want her sister in her life situation: this part is a reminder that Sam is the reason Tara got hurt in the first place.

Despite just being ‘mad’ at her and in denial, she still wants to go with Sam to the police station. Sam, knowing by now that her sister is so goddamn stubborn, doesn’t even try to argue. I wish this scene had actually been longer, and that we got to see them cross a few more streets, and for their chase into the bodega too. There’s a cute tiny moment where Tara bumps her face into Sam’s shoulder as she tries to listen to the phone call. The police station: the girls closing their eyes and looking tired while at the table lmao. This time when Sam says “we’re getting out of town.” Tara does not object in any way and goes “are you serious?” when Bailey reveals neither of them can leave town as they’re both suspect. This all just emphasises the fact that being around Sam puts Tara in danger.

I don’t really need to talk about the Gale scene, but I will say that on rewatches the Sidney comment actually feels really shoe-horned in for the audience. Campus meta scene. Sam’s cute “I had a feeling” as Mindy starts to ramble about rules. I didn’t care much for this scene at first, but rewatching it I actually love it, Mindy’s enthusiasm is so lovely. Her “it’s not looking too good for Gale and Kirby” makes me laugh so hard. Ethan and Quinn both saying why can’t it be a survivor 👀. We get Tara’s “don’t you fucking dare” when Ethan brings up the theories online about Sam. Baby shuts that down so quick.

Apartment scenes: Tara acknowledging that she’s been making life hard for Sam, and acknowledging Sam’s pain. “And I’m really really sorry that you have to do that alone.” OUCH. Sam blurting out that she’s been sleeping with Danny because she doesn’t want to hide things from them and then them being like I knew it had her SHOOK. Tara grabbing the phone and pretending to pick up with a “hey so what are your intentions” genuinely has me crying because it’s so cute. I’m seriously not over Tara’s first instinct being to run TOWARDS the Ghostface. I speak about the apartment scene here.

The shrine. So, first up, firm believer that the only reason Sam hallucinates Billy again is because she’s on day 3 of zero sleep and hasn’t taken her meds in that time either. We’re at just over the half way mark into the movie. I think they should have had Tara’s reflection appear over Billy’s before panning to her in the “what are you doing?” bit. I think it’s really interesting that BOTH Sam and Tara are shown to be overwhelmed by the situation – Sam squeezes her eyes shut, then we see Tara flee the room… to use her inhaler.

On Sam’s side of the story, it shows Tara pulling her out of her head and her fear of losing her to Gale; on Tara’s side of the story, we get the ‘does she want to be a final girl’ situation that I mentioned earlier. We get the fantastic Kirby conversation with Tara that my followers know I love.

Next, we move onto the park scene. Tara’s attitude has changed entirely. She took Kirby’s words to heart; she’s realised there’s a way to keep Sam in her life without being a victim: by getting mad and fighting back. “There’s no point in both of us putting ourselves at risk.” “I’m not, I’m your backup” and her little grin is cute but they do then continue walking together which completely negates that. Tara doesn’t want to stray away from Sam - not because she’s scared, but because she wants to be there for her.

Tara absolutely failing to be able to pull Sam back lives rent free in my brain, Sam is so big and strong and Tara cannot move her unless she wants to be moved. “You went back to Woodborough to protect me. Every single day you make the decision to protect me. None of us would even be alive if it weren’t for you. You have to let us protect you this time.” Tara volunteering the ‘us’ there is so fucking funny. There’s something so special to me about how Tara is the one who begins the plan to capture Ghostface and say “we execute him.” I would love to hear what people think of the pan to Mindy and then Sam when she says this, and what you all think is going through their minds.

Finally, we reach The Final Act. First up, Tara copying Sam in removing her jacket is adorable. Sam calling for Tara and then them running off without even waiting for Chad, amazing. Sam holding Tara back and shoving her through the door while Tara cries, love the manhandling. Them standing back-to-back, Tara crying for Sam, Ready/I’m ready, it’s all so so beautiful. I just love the simplicity of Tara being scared and calling for her big sister to help her.

Sam pushing Tara behind her when Ethan and Quinn split off to wrap around behind them. Tara’s “you stay the fuck away from her!” Tara moves her arm up to cover Sam when Quinn approaches with the knife. Ethan stabs Sam in the shoulder and Tara grabs Sam and pulls her away from them. Sam looks down and sees that Tara still has the brick, they make eye contact. Sam insults Richie and Tara bashes Quinn when she goes for Sam. Tara tries to get Sam to run with her, Kirby be damned I guess. Sam takes the knife out of Kirby (who tells her to “fuck him up”) and she stabs Ethan 5 times. Tara calls for her again, so she leaves it at that and runs after her. Bailey shoots at Tara, and a bullet grazes her arm, causing her to fall. Once again, Tara is the one with a plan, she and Sam continue their silent eye contact and we get the “you have to let me go” scene.

You all know that I think Tara is the one making the call. Given that Tara has shown a propensity for making plans already in the movie, I even dare suggest she says “he wanted you to put on the mask… maybe you should.” Then of course we get the moment where Tara comes up behind Sam, who stops from delivering a final blow. We get the head tilt, and a call back to Bailey’s “you fuck with my family, you die.”

We get the final part of Tara’s story, where she decides she does want Sam in her life, and accepts that she’s going to need therapy to deal with what happened to her, in order to let Sam in. Tara being the one to say “we’re gonna get through this, together” is SO important, because you would think that would be a line that Sam would say. This is Tara saying I can give back what you’re giving to me. Then of course the final scene is the final part of Sam’s story, where we see one again, Tara acts as an anchor and calls her away from the darkness.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for trying to make my best friend and girlfriend's lives better?

I (16M) have extremely powerful magical abilities that allows me to do almost anything. I often use this to do nice things for my best friend (17M) and girlfriend (15F), but as of late I've felt bad about how me using my powers for only minor things like giving them nice gifts have lead to them suffering horribly emotionally when I could help them, especially after an incident where I let someone I love probably get killed because of my girlfriend telling me not to use my powers to save her.

So my best friend also has the same powers I have, but he's been told his whole life, as I was told, that using the powers will make him "lose his soul" and turn into a violent killer. Unfortunately, a relative of his with the same powers did actually snap and kill most of his family, and because of this he is horribly traumatized and afraid to use his powers. But this is all not necessary because I've figured out a loophole where I put all my powers into a scroll so it's not me actually using it and it doesn't affect me, and with this ability I've been using the magic freely without being affected. He doesn't listen to my reassurances and stays miserable and afraid of himself, not doing all the good he could do for himself with his powers, and up until now I've respected that because I understand how traumatized he is. But I've also realized that his girlfriend (17F) is really unhealthy for him and contributing to his self-hatred. When we first met, she tried to kill me just for having powers, and she's hated and been suspicious of me ever since. It must be horrible for his self-esteem to be with someone who is so bigoted she would want to kill people just like him when he already has so many issues with his self-worth, even if she tries to tell him that he's "one of the good ones".

Then there's my girlfriend, who doesn't have the same powers but can see the future. In particular, multiple futures, all of which have a possibility of happening. She's also pretty miserable and anxious all the time because of all the horrors she sees, and trying to fix it all from such a young age. But a lot of the bad futures involve me becoming evil and doing bad things, so she's always watching and criticizing me to make sure I don't do that. Although I sympathize with her, I find it tiring because I wish she would trust me and understand that I have free will, that I shouldn't be punished for things I haven't done yet and I wish we could just live in the moment and be happy together. Plus I feel I've already sufficiently proved that I'm not going to be evil, because I deliberately sacrificed my own powers to put them in the scroll just so I wouldn't lose my soul, even though it meant the powers would no longer be mine and I would be vulnerable. Why isn't that act of love for her enough?

So, the things I tried to do to fix their problems: first of all, I sealed my friend's girlfriend inside a wooden doll, while faking a letter from her to make my friend thing she just left. No, she's not conscious in here, and I didn't kill her (reviving the dead is not allowed with my powers), so I can bring her back any time I want without issue after I figure out how to make sure she stops being a bad influence on him, so this is not the same as murder, it's just trying to make my friend finally happy! And secondly, I gave my girlfriend earrings that would make her only see happy futures, so she would be happy and not miserable with worry for once. I thought what she doesn't know wouldn't hurt her and she really did seem so much happier, but now they've found out about the earrings (they don't know about the wooden doll thing) and they are all telling me that I am evil now and this is the bad future, and I don't get it! I'm not killing anybody, I'm just trying to help them and I've succeeded in making their lives a lot better! But since they are insisting I decided to post here to ask if I was being the asshole.

[mai2themai]

real talk, cut the rope is honestly the best phrase for spm (suicide prevention month.)

Hi, my name is Maia. I am looking to say tribute to those who couldn’t.

My story: Uhm, to start, i was 10 - 12, really depressed. There was this kid that honestly had the depression in his control and made me feel like shit. Sleeping through my alarms, feeling numb for long amounts of time, the gut feeling of just dispair, avoiding your friends for weeks knowing thats the only sense of relief you got but you dont know how to feel and dont wanna be a burden. I took pills, took a knife to myslef, and i tried to die.

It was miserable and selfish.

I failed, but thats honestly what got me into writing. Its why i even made this account. But thats not the point, i was so miserable and nobody even noticed, truly. I was driven to a solution that no TEENAGER (or anyone for that matter) should ever have to feel.

Another point for me, i was introduced to the topic of death early, in 2021 (i think) was the year my nana died, at her funeral i was told to explain to my younger cousins how she wouldn’t come back. I remember thinking i saw my uncle (he passed about 5 years b4 this) Sitting next to me and holding my hand to comfort me. Ive been feeling sick since, im not healthy.

Since then, my whole life has been a genuine blur. Its sickening to admit, but for a little i started getting high on what i could find. I started crying more for the next 2 years of my life, i had no rest. I had no idea how to ask for help and i was in constant fight or flight. My body ached with growing pains, just adding to my list of problems. Im happy to say that im sober now.

Then boom, my mom had tried to end her life too, it’s traumatic for me and i dont wanna touch on it much, it hurts. I remember seeing my grandmas face loose color and seeing how dull my mom looked when she came back home, this started a chain of seizures for her.

The reason i care: The reason that im writing this, im trying to say that its okay to not be okay. You can ask for help, i can guarantee that someone is willing to listen. Im willing to listen. I have lost too many friends and family to suicide and your family, nor you, has to go through that, or go through it alone.

Thank you for reading my story, and remember that you are important.

[arttrampbelle]

Now that we see of liu kang ending and all of the garbage trainwreck of the new mk game

I bet y'all thinking

"Hmmm. Maybe shang tsung's ending in mk11 wasn't actually that bad and maybe he was *gasp* actually right all along about some things?!"

I mean this isn't just me as a shang tsimp.

This is sadly kinda true. I'd rather take my chances with big shangus. Then a pompus(and pooly and backhanded written) fire god liu kang. (Which in itself is sad. Because he never wanted that. Forcing him into a role making him miserable. Completely bastardizing his character. All for what?! Not my liu kang nrs. Not my liu kang.)

Anyways. Back to shang.

Liu kang vs shang is a klassic rivalry. But its as only as good as you actually write them on equal footing. But the have never truly done that. Liu kang has always had plot armor saving him and shang tsung has the unfortunate boxing in of "bad guy i beat up. Twirly mustache" which is horrible because that's not what he actually is. (Worse more when tagawa-sama never wanted that character he played,nor any villain he plays to be that way. Its always some nuance to his characters he portrays. And he said in an interview. He grew up with wimpy asian bad guys. He never wanted to ever see that again. So if he IS gonna be a buy guy. He is gonna be THE BAD GUY. Plus he hated seeing so many stereotypes but he had to trudge thru to be able to help make a better representation and positive impact. Tho nowadays he plays sweethearts,like himself mostly. Great actor,AMAZING man. Really cool. But for them to continue to make shang a "wimp" or to be "beat up by the "good" guys" is awful and a backhanded slap to the character as a whole even outside of the amazing cary hiroyuki tagawas portrayal.)

Again liu kang should be able to barely BARELY win against shang. Even if granted god powers. Shang is a stronk ass mofo. Bad,mean,nasty,in a fight. He wasn't champion formerly for nothing. He wasn't mk tournament master for nothing. He wasn't granted a seat under shao kahns heelboot for nothing. Granted that wasn't much of a choice but survival. But thats for another post. Like shang tsung is a BEAST! Not a heavy hitter. Not a beast in a way thats a tank. But a cunning,ruthless,and calculator. An opportunist fighter. He's cold in a fight. Like gives you chills. The serpentine gaze ready to strike. You gotta be quick...or you'll die. You gonna be careful and level headed otherwise he'll take full advantage of that opening and your soul? Is definitely his.

Look shang dont fucking play. (There is nuance and context depending on the situation but for the most part depends on who he's fighting and what the story is doing but overall he is not to be underestimated at all!)

Shang tsung Wasn't an og big bad for nothing!!!!!

Shao kahn was only a bigger bad and problems later. Then it became.

Better the devil you know then someone worse. Then we start to see.

Well fuck shang tsung actually is the only thing preventing shit from getting worse!

So yeah....you kill him....

Quan chi gets more power. Shao kahn gets free range. Onaga....welp. you're screwed. Dont even get started on shinnok! Oof. All the other bads?! Yeah they are gonna get WORSE AND MORE TOUGH AND BE MORE OF A PROBLEM. and honestly it would make things harder for everyone.

Yeah so think about it.

Take shang out ,you fuck up a whole ecosystem.

He only feeds on souls and of what he needs. Dont prevoke the man he wont steal your soul and go on a killing spree sucking souls for spite.

For the most part shang is best left tf alone. So as long as he has plenty in his soul well. He'll be fine. But the man is paranoid,traumatized due to shao kahn,many other things perhaps from his past. Oof cue my backstory for the death of his mother and his attachment issues and fear of decay,meaningless deaths,etc

But for the most part if you are respectful to shang. He'll be respectful back. Be genuine,be honest,and it will get you far. Dont be easy gotten either. Make it a challenge. Again this man likes a reasonable chase. Likes intelligence(not necessarily book smarts but people smarts,emotional intelligence) he values these things.

I could go on about this characters brain soup. I could add n talk about so much character analysis for shang. Unf 💖

But I'll leave it simple

Nrs fucked up a perfectly good rivalry. A potentially amazing story arch. And two amazing characters.

In short....i bet that shang tsung ending sounds really good about now right?