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Silenced Women in ASOIAF

Have you ever come home and settled in for the night only to find that there’s something missing that you can’t quite identify? Hours pass with that unsettling feeling that something is wrong until you realize the trusty clock on the wall has finally stopped. The quiet yet familiar voice, once silenced, leaves a void that, while difficult to identify, persists until the source is identified. In much this way, an untold story pervades George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series, and I’m going to do my best to uncover it and share it with you.

This essay will discuss the theme of how women on Planetos are silenced. Below, we will examine the group of women called the Silent Sisters and how their organization has been used as a penitential dumping ground for certain types of women, discussing cases of actual and suggested use of force against these women. We will inspect the treatment of some of the more outspoken women in ASOIAF and how it relates to the theme of silencing, then we will move on to examine how certain professions have caused women’s thoughts to be ignored and in effect silenced. Lastly, we will focus on commonalities between these groups of women. I would like to note that there are many examples of men being silenced throughout George’s work, but for the sake of brevity and for cohesiveness, I will keep the focus of this essay on silenced women.

tl;dr: Women are systematically silenced in ASOIAF and the Silent Sisters serve as a symbolic representation of these women.

The Silent Sisters are a group of women devoted to the Stranger, part of the faith of The Seven. The Seven, according to adherents, are aspects of god which include the Maiden, the Mother, the Crone, the Warrior, the Smith, the Father, and the Stranger. The Stranger is the aspect of death and arguably the most mysterious of the Seven. They are tasked with recovering the bodies of the dead from battlefields and preparing corpses for interment or other funerary ceremony. Silent Sisters strip the flesh from the bones of the dead and present bones, clothing, and other mementoes to the grieving highborn family. To start our examination of these women, we’ll look at the physical descriptions of the Silent Sisters.

“The silent sisters came single file down the Stranger’s Steps. Death’s handmaidens were garbed in soft grey, their faces hooded and shawled so only their eyes could be seen.”

-A Feast for Crows – Jaime I

Ned turned to the woman beside the cart, shrouded in grey, face hidden but for her eyes. The silent sisters prepared men for the grave, and it was ill fortune to look on the face of death.

-A Game of Thrones – Eddard VII

So here we see that the Silent Sisters take on an extremely modest form of dress that leaves only their eyes exposed for the world to see. This type of clothing, used as a uniform, both indicates the women’s vocation and effectually limits the amount of non-verbal communication the women can express with their faces. This communication roadblock is made even more complete because it is said that the women take a vow of silence. Catelyn Stark notes:

“The women in grey bowed their heads. The silent sisters do not speak to the living, Catelyn remembered dully, but some say they can talk to the dead.”

-ACOK, Catelyn V

Catelyn doesn’t question why the Silent Sisters do not speak, but rumors about why they remain quiet are whispered throughout Westeros. Podrick Payne shows us the brutal side to this rumor:

The silent sisters never speak,” said Podrick. “I heard they don’t have any tongues.”

A Feast for Crows – Brienne VI

Meanwhile, Septon Meribald provides the counterpoint to the rumor Podrick has heard:

Septon Meribald smiled. “Mothers have been cowing their daughters with that tale since I was your age. There was no truth to it then and there is none now. A vow of silence is an act of contrition, a sacrifice by which we prove our devotion to the Seven Above. For a mute to take a vow of silence would be akin to a legless man giving up the dance.”

A Feast for Crows – Brienne VI

These quotes show us competing explanations for the Silent Sisters’ silence, and both of them are injurious to the Silent Sisters. One concerns removal of the tongue, a violent physical method by which the women are made mute, while the other is a questionable product of a psychological conditioning viewed by outsiders as contrition or sacrifice, but in all probability not the truth for many of the women in the order. Either way, there is an element involved in the silencing of these women that can be viewed as inhumane, an unnecessary means of cutting of communication between human beings.

To add to this, there have been several notable cases of women being sent to the Silent Sisters unwillingly. In one case, Ser Eustace Osgrey tells Dunk the following story about the price he paid during the Blackfyre Rebellion:

“I bought my head back with my daughter’s life. Alysanne was seven when they took her off to King’s Landing and twenty when she died, a silent sister.

-The Sworn Sword

Ser Eustace saved his own life by forcing his daughter to give up hers, a choice that I hope not many parents would make. Additionally, note that his daughter died at age 20, barely making it to adulthood. Being a Silent Sister can be dangerous because the Silent Sisters are tasked with disposing of corpses during plague times such as the Great Spring Sickness, when Alysanne died, and have to brave the aftermath of battles. In times of instability, it has been noted that the unarmed Silent Sisters have also endured mistreatment that goes as far as rape.

“Septs have been despoiled, maidens and mothers raped by godless men and demon worshipers. Even silent sisters have been molested.”

-A Feast for Crows – Brienne I

“Yet everywhere septs are burned and looted. Even silent sisters have been raped, crying their anguish to the sky. Your Grace has seen the bones and skulls of our holy dead?”

-A Feast for Crows – Cersei VI

The rape of these women who are already delegated to the edge of society is especially heinous- they are among the most powerless and are literally unable to communicate the horrors done to them to anyone in power. As the quote above shows, they must rely on secondhand messengers to tell the world the awful fate that has befallen them. Their cries of anguish are a sorrowful echo of Nissa Nissa’s cry of anguish and ecstasy, and they make me wonder exactly how willing Nissa Nissa was when she saw Azor Ahai with glowing Lightbringer gripped in his hand.

In another example, Ser Quentyn Ball, nicknamed Fireball, cast off his wife and sent her to the silent sisters as he succumbed to his ambitions, hoping for a chance to advance his position:

“King Aegon promised to raise him to the Kingsguard, so Fireball made his wife join the silent sisters, only by the time a place came open, King Aegon was dead and King Daeron named Ser Willam Wylde instead.”

-The Mystery Knight

Ser Quentyn’s terrible temper aside, I think we can all agree it’s horrendous that a person would force his or her spouse into a life of solitude, silence, and perhaps danger, especially considering we do not hear of any wrongdoing on her part.

Lastly, there is the account of the brief reign of Queen Marla Sunderland, who ruled over the Three Sisters for a short period:

“…the Three Sisters have remained part of the Vale ever since, save for the brief reign of Queen Marla Sunderland in the immediate aftermath of Aegon’s Conquest; she was deposed at the sight of the approaching Braavosi fleet that the Northmen had hired at King Aegon’s command. Her brother swore homage to the Targaryens, and she herself ended her days as a silent sister.”

-The World of Ice and Fire – The Vale

Again, ambitious men in search of power seized a woman and sent her off to the Silent Sisters. In this case the mens’ actions silenced one of the few women who rose to the title of queen.

In each of the above cases, women are deposed from positions of power, and though we do not know much about the nature of these women, it seems safe to assume they entered the Silent Sisters under duress. The women, unwilling as they likely were, might have been silenced by either method. Septon Meribald’s explanation about why the Silent Sisters do not speak might help some people sleep at night, but nonetheless, as he points out, adults have been using the threat of the Silent Sisters and the attached concept of tongue removal as a way to keep outspoken females from being heard. Keeping in mind the injustice some of the Silent Sisters had to bear, it strikes me that devotion is not the first thing on these women’s minds.

Whether the Silent Sisters have the immense self-control of the truly devout or if they are unwillingly mute due to physical mutilation, there are several instances in which girls and women are threatened with having their tongues carved out and being given over to the Silent Sisters.

As Arya travels away from the aftermath of the Red Wedding with Sandor Clegane, he grumbles:

“Now shut your bloody mouth. If I had any sense I’d give you to the silent sisters. They cut the tongues out of girls who talk too much.”

-A Storm of Swords – Arya XII

and later:

“Now be quiet, or I’ll cut your tongue out myself and save the silent sisters the bother.”

-A Storm of Swords – Arya XII

Clegane is holding Arya as a hostage at this point, and though his original hope of ransoming her are dashed by the outcome of the Red Wedding, he is reticent to let her go in hopes of finding another way to profit from her. In effect, Sandor silences Arya by keeping her out of the public eye, unable to share the truth of her identity and the terrible things she had witnessed in King’s Landing.

Arya later escapes Sandor’s clutches, but falls into the hands of another male in a position of power, the kindly man, where she is again silenced. On the surface, Arya is treated fairly well. She is given a place to sleep, food to eat, responsibilities to keep her busy. This treatment belies the fact that she is again stripped of her highborn identity, as she adopts a variety of personas while at the House of Black and White. The kindly man defines the danger Arya will face if she remains in his care at the House of Black and White as he warns Arya:

“Stay, and the Many-Faced God will take your ears, your nose, your tongue. He will take your sad grey eyes that have seen so much. He will take your hands, your feet, your arms and legs, your private parts. He will take your hopes and dreams, your loves and hates. Those who enter His service must give up all that makes them who they are. Can you do that?”

-A Feast for Crows – Arya II

Arya, now a representative of the Many-Faced God (one of which, Arya notes, is The Stranger), is repeatedly admonished to cast away her identity, her family, and her memories in order to become no one, but… Arya remembers the truth of who she is.

“Only the kindly man knew the Common Tongue. ‘Who are you?’ he would ask her every day.

‘No one’ she would answer, she who had been Arya of House Stark, Arya Underfoot, Arya Horseface. She had been Arry and Weasel too, and Squab and Salty, Nan the cupbearer, a grey mouse, a sheep, the ghost of Harrenhal… but not for true, not in her heart of hearts. In there she was Arya of WInterfell, the daughter of Lord Edward Stark and Lady Catelyn…”

-A Feast for Crows – Arya II

Not only is Arya forced to keep silent about who she is, she becomes ever more intimately acquainted with death as she assists suicides, cleans corpses, and learns the secrets of the Faceless Men as she becomes a killer herself. This parallels the Silent Sisters’ relationship to death- they also prepare corpses and are viewed as harbingers of death.

In both cases, Arya is silenced by the men who hold power over her. In Sandor’s case, the man’s sheer size and strength along with his gruff and direct threats that keep Arya silenced, while in the case of the kindly man, the indirect threat of being cast out of a secure place of belonging and the withholding of knowledge that keeps Arya from breaking her silence.

Wylla Manderly receives a direct threat from her grandfather, who states he will send her to the silent sisters no less than three times:

“Wylla, every time you open your mouth you make me want to send you to the silent sisters.”

-A Dance with Dragons – Davos III

“‘No,’ the girl declared, shaking her head. “I won’t. I won’t ever. They killed the king.”

Lord Wyman flushed. ‘You will. When the appointed day arrives, you will speak your wedding vows, else you will join the silent sistersand never speak again.’

The poor girl looked stricken. ‘Grandfather, please …’”

-A Dance with Dragons – Davos III

“Rhaegar shrugged. ‘Marriage will soften her, I have no doubt. A firm hand and a quiet word.’

“If not, there are the silent sisters.” Lord Wyman shifted in his seat.

-A Dance with Dragons – Davos III

Wylla, despite Wyman’s threats, Wylla reminds the court:

“‘I know about the promise … Maester Theomore, tell them!’ A thousand years before the Conquest, a promise was made, and oaths were sworn in the Wolf’s Den before the old gods and the new. When we were sore beset and friendless, hounded from our homes and in peril of our lives, the wolves took us in and nourished us and protected us against our enemies. The city is built upon the land they gave us. In return we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!”

-A Dance with Dragons – Davos III

Wylla remembers the oath that saved her family. She is a vessel of truth, and the man who holds power over her threatens to silence her one way or another. Many times, those in power have an interest in silencing the truths that may cause them to lose power. While I think we all understand that Lord Manderly is putting on a show to trick those who oppose the Starks and even calls Wylla brave in a secret meeting with Davos, what’s important to take away from this scene is that it is a woman, Wylla, who is proclaiming the truth and that she is silenced by a threat of force or bodily harm, specifically the threat of being sent to the Silent Sisters.

In Jamie Lannister’s dream below we see a mysterious woman shrouded in grey with only her sparkling eyes showing (sounds familiar, right?):

“That night he dreamt that he was back in the Great Sept of Baelor, still standing vigil over his father’s corpse. The sept was still and dark, until a woman emerged from the shadows and walked slowly to the bier. ‘Sister?’ he said.

But it was not Cersei. She was all in grey, a silent sister. A hood and veil concealed her features, but he could see the candles burning in the green pools of her eyes. ‘Sister,’ he said, ‘what would you have of me?’ His last word echoed up and down the sept, mememememememememememe.

‘I am not your sister, Jaime.’ She raised a pale soft hand and pushed her hood back. ‘Have you forgotten me?’”

[…]

“’We all dream of things we cannot have. Tywin dreamed that his son would be a great knight, that his daughter would be a queen. He dreamed they would be so strong and brave and beautiful that no one would ever laugh at them.’

‘I am a knight,’ he told her, ‘and Cersei is a queen.’

A tear rolled down her cheek. The woman raised her hood again and turned her back on him. Jaime called after her, but already she was moving away, her skirt whispering lullabies as it brushed across the floor.”

-A Feast for Crows – Jaime VII

The woman is Jamie’s mother, Joanna Lannister, and it is clear from her tearful reaction that she knows the truth about Jamie and Cersei- Jaime is not a great knight but a false one and Cersei is not a true queen but instead came to power through deceit, lies, and trickery. This passage beautifully illustrates the association between the silent sisters and death as Joanna makes her appearance within a sept, a place where the Stranger is worshipped, at a time of death, namely the death of Jamie’s father Tywin, and literally emerges from “the shadows” which seems quite like stepping forward out of the shadow of death. This example is not as straightforward as the others but still serves to tie together the idea of a silent sister communicating a message from beyond the grave (if she is in fact dead) and the knowledge of a dangerous or injurious truth. For some additional thoughts about this particular passage, see this essay by Silas Toms.

Cersei sends a passive aggressive threat to the widowed Lady Falyse Stokeworth, saying:

“‘The silent sisters are always glad to welcome widows,’ she said. ‘Theirs is a serene life, a life of prayer and contemplation and good works. They bring solace to the living and peace to the dead.’ And they do not talk. She could not have the woman running about the Seven Kingdoms spreading dangerous tales.”

-A Feast for Crows – Cersei VII

Lady Falyse Stokeworth knows about Cersei’s plot to get rid of Bronn, who she believes to be a traitor siding with Tyrion. Lady Stokeworth is known for her outspokenness and it is in Cersei’s interest to silence Lady Stokeworth, which is indeed what happens. Lady Falyse is robbed of her title after her husband’s death, then is subsequently given over to Qyburn, who performs heinous experiments on her in the black cells of the Red Keep until she dies. Again, here is the pattern of an outspoken woman who knows a dangerous truth being threatened with service to the Silent Sisters, and in this case, permanently silenced.

Yet another example of this lethal pattern is Falia Flowers, bastard daughter of Lord Humfrey Hewett. She is charmed by the charisma of Euron Greyjoy upon his return to Westeros, hanging off him at a feast.

“A pretty, buxom girl of seventeen or eighteen years was in his lap, barefoot and disheveled, her arms around his neck. ‘Who is that?”’ Victarion asked the men around him.

‘His lordship’s bastard daughter,’ laughed Hotho. ‘Before Euron took the castle, she was made to wait at table on the rest and take her own meals with the servants.’

Euron put his blue lips to her throat, and the girl giggled and whispered something in his ear. Smiling, he kissed her throat again. Her white skin was covered with red marks where his mouth had been; they made a rosy necklace about her neck and shoulders.

-A Feast for Crows – The Reaver

Euron plys the girl with material goods- dresses- and lies to her, claiming she will be his salt wife while Daenerys will be his rock wife, but Euron is simply using her and enjoying his power over her. Despite learning about the captives Euron is keeping in the belly of the Silence and Aeron’s warnings about Euron’s duplicitous nature, Falia stays with Euron. Euron soon becomes bored with Falia and in short order, Euron insanely, sadistically disposes of Falia as he ties her to the prow of his ship, the Silence, alongside his brother Aeron. Aeron witnesses what Euron has done to the girl:

“He beckoned, and two of his bastard sons dragged the woman forward and bound her to the prow on the other side of the figurehead. Naked as the mouthless maiden, her smooth belly just beginning to swell with the child she was carrying, her cheeks red with tears, she did not struggle as the boys tightened her bonds. Her hair hung down in front of her face, but Aeron knew her all the same.

‘Falia Flowers,’ he called. ‘Have courage, girl! All this will be over soon, and we will feast together in the Drowned God’s watery halls.’

The girl raised up her head, but made no answer. She has no tongue to answer with, Damphair knew. He licked his lips, and tasted salt.”

-The Winds of Winter – The Forsaken

Aeron’s observations are telling- the merry, headstrong girl Falia once was is impregnated, has her tongue ripped out, is stripped naked, and is being tied to the prow of a ship fittingly called the Silence. Falia’s innocence is despoiled and she is left to die. Falia is compared to “the mouthless maiden,” one aspect of the Seven, and her hair veils her face much like the veil with which a Silent Sister covers her face. She again fits the pattern of a woman who learns secrets and is overpowered by a man who silences her forever.

Moving on, we will look at some examples of women whose work or lot in life has placed them in the periphery, effectually silencing them- sex workers, slaves, and wet nurses.

A prime example of a sex worker who is violently, permanently silenced is Shae. Shae was a vociferous woman plucked from a crowd of camp followers to share Tyrion’s bed. Shae said anything Tyrion wanted to hear as long as she was kept in comfort and plenty. Whether she had true feelings for Tyrion or not, Shae was being well-paid to please her “Giant of Lannister,” and while chance put the two of them together, Shae had little choice but to follow Tyrion from place to place if she wanted to thrive. A captive of sorts within her villa in King’s Landing, Shae herself was Tyrion’s greatest secret, and her mere presence so close to major power players put her life at risk given Tywin’s threat to Tyrion:

“…make no mistake—this was the last time I will suffer you to bring shame onto House Lannister. You are done with whores. The next one I find in your bed, I’ll hang.”

-A Storm of Swords – Tyrion I

Tyrion’s feelings for the sex worker led him to pull Shae as close as possible, a foolish, selfish decision given the impending dangers sweeping toward King’s Landing. Though Tyrion promised to keep Shae safe, violence was just outside the doors of the mansion Tyrion selected for Shae’s unspoken imprisonment. While secreted there, Shae notably dressed in grey like a Silent Sister, though a rather disguised form of grey:

“Shae stood in the door behind him, dressed in the silvery robe he’d given her. I loved a maid as white as winter, with moonglow in her hair.”

-A Clash of Kings – Tyrion X

Tyrion’s selfishness led to ever riskier decisions on his part, even positioning the sex worker as Sansa’s handmaiden. Despite Tyrion’s intentions, his actions had a terrible effect on the women, whose fate hung in the balance of Shae’s secrecy. Just as Areo Hotah says, “someone always tells,” and with her livelihood found out, Shae was likely faced with the choice of painting an incriminating picture of Tyrion at his trial or facing some sort of detestable punishment, Shae betrayed Tyrion, destroying the fragile illusion of love Tyrion believed in. Shae also shared a bed with Tywin, though how voluntary that was for Shae is questionable since it was again a case of a man holding power over a woman pushed to the fringes of society. In fact, sharing a bed with Tywin could very well have been the price Shae had to pay to keep her life after Tyrion’s trial. These actions were a matter of survival for Shae, but were betrayals in Tyrion’s eyes, leading to Shae’s strangulation. Shae, while showing little loyalty, simply acted in her own best interests, saying what she need to say to survive, and for that she was silenced forever.

Shea is not the only woman harmed by Tyrion’s secret shame and selfishness. Alayaya, daughter of Chataya serves as a cover story for the nights Tyrion spends outside his chambers visiting Shea. While no one threatens to cut out her tongue, Alayaya, daughter of brother owner Chataya, holds her tongue, promising her silence as she keeps the secret of Tyrion’s nighttime trysts.

“You are very beautiful, Alayaya,” Tyrion told her when they were alone. “From head to heels, every part of you is lovely. Yet just now the part that interests me most is your tongue.”

“My lord will find my tongue well schooled. When I was a girl I learned when to use it, and when not.”

“Yes,” she said. “If my lord will open the wardrobe, he will find what he seeks.”

-A Clash of Kings – Tyrion III

Alayaya suffers greatly because of her secret knowledge. She is stripped, chained, and whipped at Cersei’s command, released only after she is beaten and bloody. We see that:

“Tyrion had never touched her; she had been no more than a veil, to hide Shae. In his carelessness, he had never thought what the role might cost her.”

-A Storm of Swords – Tyrion I

Regardless of his intentions towards Alayaya, her punishment is a direct result of Tyrion’s actions, a fact he ackowledges to himself:

“‘I know you’ll free me, my lord.’

‘I will,’ he promised, and Alayaya bent over and kissed him on the brow. Her broken lips left a smear of blood on his forehead. A bloody kiss is more than I deserve, Tyrion thought. She would never have been hurt but for me.”

-A Clash of Kings – Tyrion XII

The Dusky Woman is a slave supposedly taken from a slaver ship headed to Lys by Euron. Euron removes the Dusky Woman’s tongue before he gives her to Victarion, so from our vantage point as readers, she starts off silenced. At first Victarion pledges to kill the Dusky Woman, but instead he beds her repeatedly and employs her as a healer of sorts to clean a wound he receives on his hand. Soon Victarion becomes attached to the Dusky Woman in a way that he didn’t expect- he takes advantage of her muteness and reveals his innermost thoughts:

“’I could kill him,’ he told the dusky woman. ‘Though it is a great sin to kill your king, and a worse one to kill your brother.’

-A Feast for Crows – The Reaver

“That was his brother’s way. Euron’s gifts are poisoned, the captain had reminded himself the day the dusky woman came aboard. I want none of his leavings.”

-A Dance with Dragons – The Iron Suitor

Though Victarion reveals his secrets to the Dusky Woman, he doesn’t talk to her- he talks at her. Just like Shea, the Dusky Woman is treated as chattel either incapable or unworthy of holding an opinion of her own. While it remains to be seen what will become of Victarion and the Dusky Woman and there are many theories regarding the outcome between them (and Euron’s role in this situation), it would not be surprising if she fits into the pattern of silenced women harboring secrets and ultimately loses her life since her life is not truly valued by either Victarion or Euron.

While violence silences many women throughout the series, subtle methods of silencing women exist as well. Wet nurses are scoffed at from the start of the series, while servants are also ignored. We can see this phenomenon as Waymar Royce states:

“Will had known they would drag him into the quarrel sooner or later. He wished it had been later rather than sooner. ‘My mother told me that dead men sing no songs,’ he put in.

‘My wet nurse said the same thing, Will,”’ Royce replied. ‘Never believe anything you hear at a woman’s tit. There are things to be learned even from the dead.’”

-A Game of Thrones – Prologue

While on the surface this appears to be an offhand comment, upon closer inspection it seems that some women are repositories of history and lore that is passed over by the male-only order of Maesters and considered the equivalent of Westerosi fairy tales by grown men. The weight of time hangs heavily over Westeros, with important events obscured by time and histories twisted by oral tradition. As fanciful as some of these grumkin and snark tales of women might sound, many of them have a historical basis, but they are ignored or outright derided by the men who hear them.

A perfect example is Old Nan, the ancient woman who came to Winterfell as a wet nurse for a dimly remembered Brandon Stark. Old Nan tells Bran and the rest of Eddard Stark’s children countless tales, stories that ring of truth as magic reawakens in the changing world the children presently inhabit. Not only does Old Nan tell Bran (and us, the reader) about the qualities of the Long Night, she is the only character who gives us any useful information about the Others. Specifically, she mentions:

“In that darkness, the Others came for the first time,” she said as her needles went click click click. “They were cold things, dead things, that hated iron and fire and the touch of the sun, and every creature with hot blood in its veins. They swept over holdfasts and cities and kingdoms, felled heroes and armies by the score, riding their pale dead horses and leading hosts of the slain. All the swords of men could not stay their advance, and even maidens and suckling babes found no pity in them. They hunted the maids through frozen forests, and fed their dead servants on the flesh of human children.”

-A Game of Thrones – Bran IV

Old Nan’s eerie folk tale isn’t only for entertaining children. Valuable information about the cataclysmic nature of the Long Night, the weaknesses of the Others, and a hint about the specialized weapon needed to end of the Long Night are encapsulated in her telling, yet she is largely ignored at Winterfell, relegated to knitting by the fire and entertaining children. No one was consulting her, and since most men dismissed her stories (including Edward and Benjen Stark), many lives will be lost as the rest of Westeros flounders about looking for a way to fight Winter and its many dangers. Old Nan’s age puts her in a unique situation in Westeros. Her advanced age gives her an astounding amount of life experience compared to most other people in Westeros, yet as a source of wisdom she is ignored. At one point, Bran thinks that:

“She was a very ugly old woman, Bran thought spitefully; shrunken and wrinkled, almost blind, too weak to climb stairs, with only a few wisps of white hair left to cover a mottled pink scalp. No one really knew how old she was, but his father said she’d been called Old Nan even when he was a boy. She was the oldest person in Winterfell for certain, maybe the oldest person in the Seven Kingdoms.”

-A Game of Thrones – Bran IV

Besides wisdom, Old Nan’s age gives her a unique perspective on death. She is old and frail, and this puts her in intimate contact with death in a way which the hale and hearty characters are not. Somehow, despite the harsh environment in which she lives, her physical failings, and her proximity to the Stranger’s grasp, Old Nan lives on just as the Silent Sisters so.

Osha is another woman whose store of ancient, secret knowledge is ignored or tut-tutted by all but the young Bran Stark. Her life beyond the wall has exposed her to hard truths about the threats of winter and the Others which those living south of the Wall have forgotten, and Osha retains songs and traditions of peoples long gone. While not a wet nurse, Osha ends up as a caretaker for the young Stark children and lets her down guard around them, sharing tales from her former life north of the Wall. She isn’t afraid to tell Bran about these experiences, but is shut down by Maester Luwin:

“Bran’s fist curled around the shiny black arrowhead. ‘But the children of the forest are all gone now, you said.’

‘Here, they are,’ said Osha, as she bit off the end of the last bandage with her teeth. ‘North of the Wall, things are different. That’s where the children went, and the giants, and the other old races.’

Maester Luwin sighed. ‘Woman, by rights you ought to be dead or in chains. The Starks have treated you more gently than you deserve. It is unkind to repay them for their kindness by filling the boys’ heads with folly.’”

-A Game of Thrones – Bran VII

Osha is also no stranger to the cold, a quality she demonstrates by bathing in the black pool at the foot of the Winterfell heart tree. Bran asks how Osha can stand to swim there and Osha answers:

“’As a babe I suckled on icicles, boy. I like the cold.’ Osha swam to the rocks and rose dripping. She was naked, her skin bumpy with gooseprickles. Summer crept close and sniffed at her. ‘I wanted to touch the bottom.’”

-A Clash of Kings – Bran II

Her deep dive in the pool is symbolic of a visit to the underworld, a trip through which Osha survives and returns none the worse for the wear. In this light, Osha is similar to the Silent Sisters as she serves as a link between the land of the living and the land of the dead.

Osha recognizes the red comet as more than just an oddity that makes wolves howl, telling Bran:

“‘Your wolves have more wit than your maester,’ the wildling woman said. ‘They know truths the grey man has forgotten.’ The way she said it made him shiver, and when he asked what the comet meant, she answered, ‘Blood and fire, boy, and nothing sweet.’”

-A Clash of Kings – Bran I

There are as many different interpretations for the red comet as there are points of view in Martin’s story. Osha’s reading of the comet as “fire and blood” is most in line with Old Nan’s interpretation of “dragons” in showing that the comet heralded the magic that brought forth Daenerys’ dragons half a world away.

In addition, Osha intuits the connection between Bran, his direwolf, and the weirwoods when Bran tells her about his vivid dreams. She repeatedly asks Bran about his “wolf dreams” and tells him that his dreams are the Old Gods are speaking to him. Based on some of Osha’s comments to Bran, it seems possible that she understands more about the whispers of the weirwoods at the time than anyone else in the main narrative.

Besides having an valid insight about the red comet and an store of age-old myth to draw on, Osha understands where the real threat to Westeros is laying in wait. Bran remembers Osha’s reaction when Robb marched from Winterfell with his army. She says:

“Will he now? We’ll see. You tell him this, m’lord. You tell him he’s bound on marching the wrong way. It’s north he should be taking his swords. North, not south. You hear me?”

-A Game of Thrones – Bran VI

Osha said Robb was marching the wrong way, implying that Robb should be marching north to fight the Others and that the rest of the folk at WInterfell do not understand where the real threat to their wellbeing resides. Osha is ignored at best and ridiculed for her beliefs at worst, so there is no chance that her cautionary words will be listened to; therefore Osha stands as another example of a woman with secret knowledge on the fringes of society who is silenced by the men surrounding her, much to their detriment.

Gilly is a wet nurse with secret knowledge. Gilly has seen firsthand the danger of dealing with the Others, first as Craster’s sons are taken, then as Sam kills an Other with dragonglass. She understands the danger Westeros faces, yet no one bothers to ask her about the white shadows who take Craster’s sons, and due to the abuse Gilly endured at Craster’s hands, she is too timid to share her story without being asked. After a harrowing trip to the Wall, GIlly is ignored at Castle Black other than when she fulfills a role as a wet nurse to Dalla’s infant son, yet she is put into a position of secret import, forced by Lord Commander Jon Snow to swap out her own son with Dalla’s as she, Sam, and Maester Aemon are sent to Oldtown.

“‘Don’t let her burn him. Save him, please.’

“Only you can do that, Gilly.’ Jon told her how.

…Jon closed the fingers of his sword hand. ‘Take both boys and the queen’s men will ride after you and drag you back. The boy will still burn … and you with him.’ If I comfort her, she may think that tears can move me. She has to realize that I will not yield. ‘You’ll take one boy, and that one Dalla’s.’”

-A Dance with Dragons – Jon II

The child switch Gilly has to partake in is a heartbreaking impossible choice- she must abandon her own child to save the son of Mance Rayder and Dalla from Melisandre’s flames. Just as Joanna Lannister’s tears fall heedlessly in Jaime’s dream, Gilly’s tears are met with cool logic by Jon Snow, who swears Gilly to secrecy. One might argue that Jon’s demand of Gilly is for the greater good, but with mere words Jon Snow brought terrible grief to GIlly. It did not take physical punishment to silence Gilly, who swore secrecy and demonstrated her heartbreak as she cried aboard the Blackbird all the way from Eastwatch-by-the-Sea to Braavos. The reason for Gilly’s unending tears were puzzled out by Maester Aemon, and Gilly’s secret is then shared with Sam, but for how long can Sam and Gilly keep this secret from prying eyes at the Citadel and Horn Hill? Perhaps more importantly, what will become of Gilly and the child in her care if their secret is found out? What will GIlly’s relation to death be? If the pattern regarding silenced women holds true, I fear for Gilly and Dalla’s son and I can only hope that Martin flips the narrative for Gilly, empowering her to use her understanding to fend off the Others and live through the new Long Night that seems to be approaching.

No discussion of silenced women could possibly be complete without an examination of Lady Stoneheart, the undead persona of Lady Catelyn Stark. In life, Lady Cat is subjected to the abject horror of her husband and children being taken from her. The fraught relationship between Lady Cat and Jon, the hammer’s blow of Bran’s fall and paralysis, her husband’s beheading, Sansa’s knife-edge fate in King’s Landing, Arya’s apparent death, and finally Robb’s unspeakable betrayal at the Red Wedding shatter Lady Cat before her own death at Red Wedding. When she is resurrected by Berric Dondarrion, there is nothing left of Lady Cat but a vengeful echo aptly named Lady Stoneheart, and intriguingly, she is silent, as silent as a Silent Sister. Even more interestingly, she adopts many of the qualities of the Silent Sisters.

To start, let’s look at Lady Stoneheart’s physical description:

“Lady Stoneheart lowered her hood and unwound the grey wool scarf from her face. Her hair was dry and brittle, white as bone. Her brow was mottled green and grey, spotted with the brown blooms of decay. The flesh of her face clung in ragged strips from her eyes down to her jaw. Some of the rips were crusted with dried blood, but others gaped open to reveal the skull beneath.”

-A Feast for Crows – Brienne VIII

We can see Lady Stoneheart is wearing grey, the color of the Silent Sisters. Like the Silent Sisters, Lady Stoneheart obscures her face with a hood and a scarf, which we see her unwinding here just as a shroud might be unwound from a corpse. The scarf covers her slitted throat, the particular wound that renders undead Catelyn Stark silent. Her partially decayed face demonstrates the most violent and visceral aspect of the strange link between life and death the Silent Sisters seem to have.

Lady Stoneheart’s various names hammer home her parallel with the Silent Sisters:

“Some call her that. Some call her other things. The Silent Sister. Mother Merciless. The Hangwoman.”

-A Feast for Crows – Brienne VIII

With Martin literally naming Lady Stoneheart as the Silent Sister, it should behoove us to examine the secret knowledge she holds. In life, Lady Cat had many of her facts wrong and made some decisions that had significantly detrimental outcomes, and though her conclusions might be erroneous, in death, her mission is clear- to take revenge upon those responsible for her family’s deaths. As Lem Lemoncloak of the Brotherhood Without Banners notes,

“She don’t speak,” said the big man in the yellow cloak. “You bloody bastards cut her throat too deep for that. But she remembers.”

-A Storm of Swords – Epilogue

Lady Stoneheart remembers the essential truth behind who killed her son, his wife their unborn child, and nearly all the Stark bannermen at the Red Wedding even though the plotting of the Red Wedding was a secret. She remembers Jaime’s confession about pushing Bran from the tower window while Jaime was Robb’s prisoner. She remembers the Lannister responsibility for Ned’s death. Lady Stoneheart, just like all the other examples of silenced women, remembers certain secret truths, and in her case, she has returned from the Stranger’s embrace to take vengeance, silenced in voice but not in action.

To conclude, the women in this essay have certain shared symbols. While the women may not exhibit all of the symbols at the same time, there are enough links to bind them together. The Silent Sisters provide a general template for these silenced women by showing us the grey, head-to-toe garb, connection with death as The Stranger, forced inclusion into the order, and possible connection between violence and the silenced woman. Women such as Lady Falyse, Falia Flowers, Shea, and Lady Stoneheart show us the ultimate tragedy regarding the silencing of women, and prior to their deaths display some of the motifs of the Silent Sisters. Shea’s grey dress, Falia Flowers’ veil of hair, and Joanna Lannister’s grey garments all echo the shroud-like clothing of the Silent Sisters. Falyse Stokeworth, Arya and Wylla, are all outspoken females who are threatened with servitude to the Silent Sisters, a threat that belies the unwillingness with which some women entered the order and the possible violent tongue removal they may have endured like the Silent Sisters. Old Nan, and Osha remember truths that men have covered up or forgotten, pushed to a place at the serving table or child’s nursery where their voices will not be heard, and they share the quality of bridging the gap between life and death that the Silent Sisters do. Gilly and nearly all of the other women who fit this pattern suffer physical abuse or rape at the hands of men just as the Silent Sisters have suffered. Once all the pieces are assembled, it seems that Martin is trying to tell us something about these silenced women, but that is a topic for another essay.

I’m certain that a continued inspection of Martin’s text would yield other female characters with this symbolism. As you can see from my examples above, there is no shortage of silenced women just waiting for us to pause and listen. Can you hear them?

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