#He could do it if he tried hard enough
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It's Stormlight 10
Kaladin has been learning to read, but just barely. He reads something about Retribution, but misreads it as Redemption and the massive cognitive force that is Kaladin's desire to save people instantly realigns the shard and Kaladin is able to steal it from Taravangian
The End
#He could do it if he tried hard enough#wind and truth#stormlight archive#wat spoilers#wind and truth spoilers#cosmere#kaladin stormblessed#retribution#redemption#taravangian
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can't forget these losers. mondo n taka
mondo is the ultimate cyclist. he and his brother ran a bike shop that he wants to make the best in the world, which is not related to why he liked biking. he just likes going fast
his brother was in a biking accident. there's some rumors that mondo staged the accident so he could become the ultimate cyclist
he can't have his pompadour because of biking helmets but he dyes his hair still bc it's cool as fuck
taka is the ultimate martial artist. after his grandpa's misconduct brought shame to the family, he decided to try restoring it through the renowned sport of honorable combat
is never not thinking about focus and discipline. tries to hide his relationship to his family in contests and school so that he never wins or loses a match because of rage alone
his grades and school conduct are still really good
#mondo owada#kiyotaka ishimaru#danganronpa#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#my arts#roleswap au#i fear i did not draw mondo's calves big enough hmm#taka is an agility min-maxer#i think if taka tried really hard enough he could do a focus blast. if he wanted to#ngl these are two of my least favorite designs...sorry but i just cannot get balls to the wall about them like some of you </3#mondo's hair was kinda hard to do but i like it. it's growing on me#i was trying so hard to figure out a good school uniform/martial arts fit for taka and ended up settling on a gakuran blazer#dork that wears his gi pants and belt everywhere in case he needs to throw down. okay
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Howwwww did you angst the world tour?? 🎀
this question made me giggle so much oh i'm glad you asked :3c there was so much yummy grian angst in the hc world tour!
it's all about grian and his penchant for destruction. he doesn't even mean to! he's not trying to be pesky; quite the opposite. he's curious but restrained, trying to be good, trying to follow instructions. he's not malicious at all! he's just there to see what people were up to, open and friendly and curious, eager to look and learn and praise. not a bad intention in sight... and yet things seem to break wherever he goes. everything he touches goes wrong.
the guilt churns, acidic and overwhelming, and grian's miserable. why is he like this? he's trying so hard, why is this the only way he can ever be? why can't it stop?
spoilers for grian's world tour video below <3
plantie pointed out to me how, during the tour of scar's train, when grian got rid of scar's arrows—the glitched ones that doc put there—he was so desperate to point it out after scar just glossed over it. as if he wanted to show that he can do something good. he can be helpful, he can fix things instead of just breaking everything.
but then we have all the other things, right? grian can't escape it.
when he was with etho and the mushroom farm exploded, he sums it up in a wretched if confused apology: "i'm so sorry. the two times i tried to use it, i broke it :( and created a water source floating— which i don't know how it happened— and flung the TNT, which i really don't understand—"
they move on, but it's so clear it lingers.
etho isn't blaming him. he's amused and brushes it off and moves along, unbothered, but grian himself can't wrap his head around it. about that propensity to breaking things, even unintentionally. the way nothing is safe around him.
he tells etho: "i can't stop thinking about your mushroom farm. why does everything i touch break, in new and unexpected ways?"
(not to mention when etho's showing him frogger and grian plays, almost instantly etho goes: "uh-oh, the game's broken", with a little huff of laugh. it wasn't exactly tied to anything grian did, but still something i wanted to point out, since grian was there for it <3)
and then grian goes to zedaph, right?
the very first game zedaph shows him. the very first. grian plays the way he was told to, the way he was meant to, and— he breaks it.
zedaph just laughs and moves them on.
(just sprinkling in a side note that zedaph's furnace minigame also didn't seem to work the way it should've—)
by the time grian gets to pearl's, it's starting to be a pattern that's so clearly eating away at him, making him anxious. he doesn't want it to happen again!
and yet.
pearl invites him to play her wordle game, and grian mindlessly goes and pushes the wrong button trying to start it... instantly stepping away with a quiet groan of a dread-filled "...oh-" followed by: "i just— ruined it already."
there's something about the mood switch. the way he seems more restrained and tame, silently upset with himself, trying so hard not to mess things up further. questioning why this is happening again. why he can't stop making it happen.
he walks over to the reset game button and asks, carefully: "can i press reset? is it gonna hurt? 🥺👉👈"
pearl reassures him he can, with a sigh noting that it'll just take a while.
there's an almost hysteric laugh from grian, followed by an exasperated, upset scream. "everything i touch breaks! when i went to e— i broke etho's thing when i went to— not frogger, his— his mushroom farm i— it blew up."
"you blew up his mushroom farm?? how? what did you do?!"
"yeah, i— i broke zed's game, instantly, pretty much, it's—"
"oh my gosh :("
"sorry 🥺"
pearl is quick to reassure him, though. "well, luckily for you, this is— you doing that (pushing the wrong button) does not break the game. it's just, you now have to wait for it to reset."
she makes sure grian knows that he didn't mess up anything terribly here. he didn't break pearl's game. it's okay! it's fine!
and then grian right clicks to open the book, and instead makes bonemeal pop out of a composter.
i think at this point pearl is a little bit taken aback by how wrong everything really seems to be going around grian. she makes sure to say, "it's fine," again, just so grian won't start worrying about it all again. "you're clicking on everything that people do not usually click on today. but it's okay. it's still not broken! it's not broken, it's alright, it's okay— i've got failsaves for people like you."
it's so sweet how she really tries to soothe him— and yet she can't help but let out that last remark.
people like you.
those few words surely lodge in more than all the reassurances. they're like splinter, proving grian right.
eventually, he gets to skizz.
during the tour of skizz's base, skizz shows him a horse statue and starts talking about how he lost his first horse at an event that grian was also a part of. and grian's stomach instantly sinks.
he asks hushedly, a bit confused, trying to remember: "was i there?"
skizz laughs. "you were absolutely there, dude."
which leads grian to ask, uneasily: "did i do it?"
skizz waves his hands, quick to easily reassure that no! that's not it, grian didn't do it!
grian lets out an oh with such palpable relief, and goes on to explain about how, "i remember witnessing it, but sometimes it's hard to disentangle whether i did it or not. coz i tell you what, on this tour i've broken everyone's stuff."
nobody was upset with grian when things broke, but here he is, several hermits down, still unable to leave it to rest. because it's him. it's him who did all of that, somehow, and he didn't mean to, but it doesn't matter. it happened anyway.
and now he can't even tell what is and what isn't his fault anymore.
the guilt is deep rooted, leaving anxious assumptions and dark, jagged precipices. how much did he destroy? what else should he be feeling guilty about? how far does this go?
he keeps breaking things, and it's such a blur that he can no longer tell what is and what isn't his fault.
the tour continues, and he delves into skizz's pyramid. and it's just— it's just a tunnel to swim through. nothing to mess up, besides potentially dying to suffocation, right?
and yet you can hear skizz shrilly exclaim: "oh he's going to end up breaking something!!"
and, (plantie's words: ) grian hearing that and just wondering, is that all i'm good for? is that all i'm known for? is that all i am?
there's no room for doubt; not really. that is what grian does, all the time, whether he wants to or not. he breaks stuff. he just— he doesn't mean to. and this tour is one big show of how powerless he is against it. (how everyone expects it from him anyway.)
despite it all, grian perseveres, trying out skizz's game, stubbornly dedicated and trying to win. (to pass; to have something to be proud of, at least—) and he gets to the powdered snow section.
there, he jumps across to a pathway that he was meant to circle to through the snow instead.
it's not breaking anything, not really. not even the rules. it's not cheating! he's just— he just did something skizz did not expect, but that was entirely possible within the game's design, even if not intended. he exploited it to his advantage; a risky, tricky shortcut.
and yet skizz remarks with a laugh: "this is what grian does! he breaks games!"
no matter what grian does... is that all he'll ever be?
is that all they'll see?
he fails getting through skizz's game, is thanked for play-testing, praises it all, they talk it all away, and...
and then grian goes to tour mumbo's base.
and fails to even die properly to his llama—
and then mumbo shows him his archive machine, and instantly panicks when grian gets curious about it, begging him not to touch anything. and grian says: "your stomach just fell through didn't it?" and after mumbo's immediate agreement, he adds: "and rightfully so. coz, almost everything i've touched on this tour has broken."
there's not a sliver of surprise to mumbo's anxious rushed: "yeah, yeah yeah! please stop now." because, of course things have broken. of course what grian touches is bound to go wrong. of course—
and then mumbo very carefully tells grian what to do with the machine.
grian does as he's told.
mumbo looks up and pauses, a frown crossing his face as he takes it in. he notes that grian probably did it too fast—
(something went wrong)
(something broke)
mumbo says: "i can't believe you come along and every single thing in my base starts [going wrong/breaking/malfunctioning]"
and then grian mysteriously ends up with an extra book from mumbo's machine, much to mumbo's dismay. grian's confused, cogs spinning as he tries to figure out what did he mess up this time to result in this.
it's clear mumbo wants grian away from his machine. it's not safe. (grian isn't safe.)
"maybe just give that to me and maybe just step away from the contraption. and then— maybe just leave me to—"
grian's upset and bewildered voice cuts in: "i didn't do anything wrong this time :(("
he's trying so hard.
he's trying so hard to be good and do things right and not mess anything up.
(it isn't working.)
(it's never bound to work, is it?)
mumbo ushers him away, and ends up showing him another cool invention—an elevator. except the second mumbo hits the button, a creeper shows up and explodes it. (it's midday.) (it wasn't even meant to be there.)
this one isn't grian's fault at all, but with everything that's happened— well, it's easy enough to link it to grian's presence. like a bad luck omen.
apprehensively, grian asks if the elevator broke, and mumbo—a bit bewildered by the reality of it—says that no, it seems to still work. "amazingly," he tacks on, disbelieving.
grian's relieved. "ohh, i thought we were in big trouble there!"
besides himself, mumbo anxiously agrees: "augh. i was like, if every single creation that i show breaks in some fashion, i'm just gonna quit."
because this isn't normal. none of this is, least of all everything at once. it simply doesn't happen.
(not when grian isn't there, anyway.)
mumbo notes that he needs to work on his lighting, and grian nods wisely saying it's a perpetual issue, but the anxiety is digging its talons in now, unrelenting. (what else is going to go bad in grian's presence? what else will he mess up? what else will he break? why is he like this?)
another remark that comes after this is mumbo's nervous: "i've actually just built up the automatic sorter which does this—which you're not gonna touch. we're banned from touching any redstone contraptions!"
and what can grian do but oblige? (but he can at least look, right?)
but does it ever change anything?
does it matter?
-
at the end of the day, the others don't think too much about it.
they all say their part, pass their judgment, wave their hands, dismiss, move on. it doesn't keep them up at night.
... i think it might keep grian up at night.
a cacophonous collection of word snippets, aimed at him or woven around him, digging under his skin until it bleeds. a noose of inescapable fate, a tightening band around his chest that promises he can only ever be one thing:
a vessel for destruction.
it doesn't matter if he wants to be.
shackles and chains and a cosmic inevitability written into his skin, etched into his bones, tangled into his bloodstream. and an ever-rising guilt like stormy sea, far above his head now, drowning him.
(maybe he's not meant to be near other people and their things.)
(maybe he's not meant to touch games that were constructed with so much effort and love and passion poured into them.)
(maybe he shouldn't—)
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bonus screenshots from discord DMs (with extra sprinkles of hmtb mentions):
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bonus hmtb quotes because i kept thinking about it:
He always destroys the things he loves most, after all.
and:
He destroyed everything he touched, and when there was nothing left, he destroyed the only remaining thing: himself.
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#ange answers#ribbon anon#grian angst#i might've gotten a bit rambly - this wasn't meant to be so long it just sort of kept snowballing the further i went. oops#anyway grian's such a good vessel for guilt#because he internalises it and holds on#even if nobody else holds a grudge#even if nobody else blames him#(and yet in all the little remarks - do they really not hold it against him? isn't there proof enough that clearly it matters to them too?)#(so how could he ever be absolved?)#for them these are just some random events#but for him it piles up and piles up and piles up#into an undeniable pattern that stains his hands like blood#and he can't wash his skin free of it#he can't escape it#no matter how hard he tries#(and yes it does tie beautifully into hmtb grian and his own perspective on things and struggles and how he deals with guilt)#(the keyword here is: badly) (he deals with the guilt badly)#i also went to think about other things like the tunnel bore incident and SL mumbo and WL zombie skizz and-#just so many instances of grian guilt you know?#it builds up until it's indisputable and inevitable#and grian is cornered by the reality of it (with nowhere to go)#think about it:#grian feels guilt over things he feels he has no control over (because it doesn't matter how hard he tries)#and we know grian thrives on having control#(just throwing that out there)#something about how grian keeps wretchedly confessing it to everyone - that he already broke many things#like tacking a warning sign on himself so they'd know to step away and save themselves#(and he's so scared it'll happen again. so scared that it'll keep happening. so scared that it'll never stop—)
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Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.
If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.
I don’t want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.
I hope I choke. They’re lovely, thank you.
Like hell. Likewise. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.
#p5#akeshu#akechi goro#kurusu akira#wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack#it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size#also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks!#i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god#and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo#ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :)#why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute#well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part#hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :)#also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right#so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh)#hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake#ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it.#but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess#anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon
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listen it’s none of my business but when you say “Bilbo would have been better for taking the Ring” and then state “Frodo’s character was mishandled” I think maybe you like the Lord of the Rings inside your head more than the one actually written 💀 as if it wasn’t stated multiple times both in the text and by Tolkien himself why Frodo was the Ringbearer. Pleeeeeaaaase PLEEEEAAASE stop giving me gray hairs and take an interest in the text you read and it’s deeper meanings beyond power scaling characters, favoritism and finding the “most efficient way to take the ring to Mordor”. The debates about who should have taken the Ring are the exact same as “they should have flown the eagles to Mordor” except it’s spoken by people who genuinely are avid fans of the books and movies.
#frodo baggins#bilbo baggins#it’s so dire out here man#this was an actual opinion I just saw. unfortunately#at least it’s rarer now but I still see the incredible common opinion that Frodo ‘wasn’t the right person for the job’ or whatever#THATS NOT THE POINT…. PLEASE#why are there so many people who just don’t like Frodo. why don’t you like him. quickly.#is it because he fails. bc newsflash. EVERY SINGLE BEING ON MIDDLE EARTH THAT COULD TAKE THE RING WOULD HAVE FAILED. THATS THE POINT!!!!!!!#is it bc he’s not a typical ‘hero’s journey’ fighter?? bc then I have to ask if you absorbed the ‘I hate fighting and war’ sentiment at all#bc Tolkien tried to make it clear in each of his more ‘typical’ fighting heroes that the act of fighting did not elevate them over others#and that in many ways it was better to find peaceful solutions rather than violent ones.#would Bilbo have resisted more? hard to say!! he held the Ring for a VERY long time but at the same time the Ring wasn’t ‘awake’.#to Bilbo’s enduring credit he held that thing for 60 years before showing corruption#when others that touched the Ring showed corruption INSTANTLY#but at the same time when Sauron began to awaken it and call for it Bilbo DID in fact fall to its power!!#he wasn’t immune!!#neither was Samwise for that matter. no more than Frodo was!!!#augh. my heart hurts man#people give Frodo shit for being a gentle soul who suffered inward more than outward and not returning ‘victorious’#but he did all he could. he did all anyone could. why is that not enough for you people?#it was enough for Tolkien. it was enough for every wise being on Middle Earth. it was enough for those who understood the sacrifice.#Frodo isn’t even a ‘passive hero’. sure he gets a ton of stuff done TO him and his deeds aren’t as visible as other characters.#but every single step towards Mordor was a great action. the very act of carrying the Ring forward moves the story and quest along.#that is an active character. his actions (traveling forward despite bearing the Ring and Morgul wound) are integral to the story#you expect him to do that AND be slaying beasts and commanding others?? the same folly Boromir had. the same way the Ring tempted Sam#cmon. there’s a beautiful world and a beautiful story being told and you’re missing it. let me show you how beautiful it is.#making everything about a single character you favor even if it doesn’t make sense textually is a disservice to the story you enjoy.#the entire world and all the characters of lotr are so compelling even if you don’t like them!!! why ignore that?#it’s the world and people your character lives with!!! look at them!!
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If the rules are “Catch them all” ZEX already has a leg up (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Pokemon#Stoutland#Arcanine#Tangela#Whismur#Larry#Kabu#I mean - of course right? I mentioned Stoutland as one of DAX's matches and Larry loves his Normal types - This Had to happen#And then the idea of how excitable Kabu and ZEX are and what conversations they could have about Pokemon and humans and just-#It all went downhill from there I really had no choice it just Needed to - so I did!#DAX doesn't really understand this whole Petting Large Dog business but it's not actively trying to eat him so that's a mark in its favour#Would he and Larry actually get along or would they brush up against each other wrong haha#DAX Very serious and work-oriented while Larry's just tired and quiet and wants to relax and eat and pet Pokemon#DAX is passionate in his own way but so blasé about humans and other aliens!#Larry something like a cat in that he doesn't really care so goes off to do his own thing - might be too alike to get along haha#I think Kabu and ZEX would get along really well though :D ZEX tries to make friends with so many people so that's not hard haha#And he would have an awful lot of ahem Learning to offer Kabu lol - but so would Kabu in turn! Pokemon knowledge!#Fascinating conversation to be had :) Maybe if they were forced on enough double dates DAX and Larry could get along pft#I almost definitely drew ZEX too short here - maybe he's hunched a little out of excitement lol#But Dexter and Larry would be about the same height wouldn't they! :0 Huh!#It was quite fun to draw Kabu's Arcanine so happy to be getting so many pets haha <3 Cute lad ♪#Finally following up on Alana's brilliant idea of VUX loving Tangela!! ♥ Zarla also mentioned VUX-Tangela vine/tendril communication and ahh#So lovely such fun <3 A specific kind of trainer-Pokemon understanding that can only be had between specific cultures! Yesss#And ending out with a Whismur hug <3 I can't help it those little guys need hugs ♥ No shrieking only gentle shushes and comfort
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jayroytim: *happens*
ollie: really roy of all ppl you picked the bats?? well ig it could be worse. could have been bruce
brudick: *immediately happens*
ollie: ...
olllie: oh come the fuck on!!!! see this is why we don't get involved with the bats roy !!!! and now can't even kill him bc he's "family", bullshit!
this is SO funny you get it anon. Oliver's hatred for Bruce is my favorite thing about him and i think it's so funny if Oliver now can't escape the Bats bc of Roy's relationship. i think Oliver would hold a serious chip on his shoulder for Roy dating Jason alone, bc of the whole Jason kidnapping Mia thing. Oliver believes everyone can change and deserves the chance to change, but *man* if he isn't a little pissed that Roy is now throwing that rhetoric in his face to dating *Jason Todd*.
i think Oliver would like Tim well enough, though he wouldn't love how unabashedly loyal to Bruce Tim is. and then whatever approval Oliver had for Dick goes down the drain as soon as Dick starts dating Bruce publically, which Oliver is *not* allowed to start arguments about at family dinner, as Roy has told him a dozen times. because sure Roy doesn't approve either but Dick is still his *best* friend and he won't let Oliver say shit about him. it's Roy's job to judge Dick for dating Bruce and no one else's <3 and he never gets very far bc Dick just has to remind Roy who *he's* dating and that Dick is being very kind in not pitching a fit being overprotective about it. the only reason Dick hasn't mentioned the concerning age gap between Roy and Tim is well. stones and glass houses and all.
i do think Dinah has to listen to Oliver rant for an hour anytime he sees one of the Bats in Star City. there's probably some sort of very tentative truce about who's allowed in whose city. (Jason breaks it all the time just to piss Oliver off) i think it's funny if Oliver tries to slowly poison Jason and Tim against Bruce bc if he has to deal with Bats in his house, the very least he can do is make them hate Bruce. how well would it work? who knows. Jason agrees with most of Oliver's critiques of Bruce, and Tim is caught between wanting to defend Bruce and having to admit Oliver has certain points. i think there would be a cold war of petty back and forth between Oliver and Bruce any time they're forced to see each other. Bruce, who doesn't even *like* PDA, would act up his PDA with Dick just to piss Oliver off. it works very well. and the rest of the Fab Five Titans are just sick of being in the middle of it and being expected to pick a side bc they refuse. they're just here for the free show.
#necrotic answerings#incorrect quotes#jayroytim#brudick#this is so funny#i do love that everyone wins but oliver here.#he's never emotionally recovering. mia and emiko laughing at him in a corner. connor is choosing to stay out of it.#i do think oliver could steal tim if he tried hard enough though.#like tim deserves to join the arrowfam#i just think that'd be neat.#(not in the comics tho i think comics wise keep the bats as far as hell away from the arrows as you can. pls and ty.)#but i'd lvoe to see fanfic of tim getting yoinked personally#i think it'd be neat.#this is such fun crack i enjoy it
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CONFETII 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I’m needing more ideas to draw them …. Any middle school or highschool headcannons you have for them are 100% appreciated
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#HEADCANNON TIME#Neil has a hard time with affection but without thinking he’ll do it so casually#they could be chilling and hed put his arm over his shoulder and sk will be like huh???? in a good way#Neil has perfect teeth since he takes care of them good#sk.. does not. needs braces for the gap and has way too many teeth in his mouth#when they kiss their teeth clink sometimes and Neil cringes SO HARD#sk will try and kiss him on the cheek but it never works super well#if they kiss on the lips it will be Neil initiating it cus he has to be in control of the situation#Neil tries to not use axe body spray#Sk smells like flowers cus of his moms perfume and gets called gay 💀#he doesn’t know why eveyone calls him gay it’s jsut what his mom used on him#they both have packed cold lunches#sks mom packs his lunch and gets sweet notes#Carl sneaks the note into Neil’s lunch and he gets sooo embarrassed cus of it#they play video games at sks house (Neil doesn’t feel comfortable being sk over cus it would be a whole thing) and they play WoW#weirdly enough sk is the cold one and Neil is the hot one#sk is a big ice pack and Neil needs him to survive#okay that’s it :3#camp camp#campcamp#spacekid campcamp#cc space kid#campcamp ship#neil camp camp#cc neil#neilsquared#neil²#neil x spacekid#neil x space kid#spaceneil
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Not to have brainrot on main, but you think if Spinner asked Shigaraki to stop the countrywide destruction he would've
#the bee talks#this isn't even a joke im wholeheartedly asking this. do u think mr shigaraki i tried destroying to the end/last message for spinner tomur#wouldve stopped for spinner if spinner wanted that???? would he have been happy to life a live with the league outside of villainy???#i mean of course theyre still gonna try to tear down society but. u think they couldve been happy?#im gonna cry i just - *massive shaky breath in* - do ya think?#or rather - i think figuring out how they could settle down together would be fun to explore in fic#spinaraki#i had an adjacent thought and it was directly about something my favorite bnha analyists said but i forgot ToT#i only remember that it was something that was said a while ago and it's been like 10 minutes and i still cant remember#i had a hard enough time trying to reign in my domestic fluff drawings but now??? NOW?!?!?! it's over.
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The more I linger on it, the more I think this might be the most subtly unhinged thing in all of SGRS. What do you MEAN you dated for eight years and never told each other your real names???
Miyokichi talks after the breakup about how she was putting on a "professional front" with Kikuhiko. As a survival technique, Miyokichi tends to make herself into whatever she thinks the man she's with wants from her, and in this case, that means she presented herself as her idea of Kiku's idea of a "good woman" for a full eight years while they were together. She probably would have tried to go on like that forever if he didn't break things off.
Yet at the same time, I think she's rightfully upset on some level that Kiku never looked at her more deeply. We see very little of their relationship, only the beginning and the very end, but given what we do see, it seems like Kiku never quite stops holding Miyokichi at arm's length. He goes along with things and initiates some level of closeness (like leaning into her when he's upset during the rain), but he doesn't push her to get more intimate.
Kiku looks scared when Miyokichi talks about dying during their breakup, he defends her personhood to his master, and he wants to bring her back to Tokyo with along Konatsu and Sukeroku when he finds them, so it's not like he doesn't care about her at all. But while he treats her his own version of decently, he never tries to get to know her on a deeper level. He doesn't take initiative to look for who she is behind her front for him.
(Personally, I'd blame his disinterest in knowing her largely on his own fear of being known, but we don't have time to get into that right now).
The problem with Miyokichi's frustration with being taken at face value, though, is that she doesn't know Kikuhiko's real name either. She most likely never asks, just like Kiku never asks hers. I think she falls in love with the idea of dating Kiku as much if not more than she falls in love with him. He's safe and well-mannered and very handsome, and I think his distant coldness is a comfort to her on some level because neglect, though an unhappy business, is what she has experience with.
Miyokichi likes the idea of ~being the woman~ and supporting Kiku emotionally. I'm sure she encouraged some playact of emotional intimacy between them. I'm sure they found comfort in each other in a very real way sometimes. But, if she got to know Kiku too well, she would have seen things about him she didn't like. Could she have truly known him without knowing he didn't love her the way she wanted? She never quite looks deeper to see whether he's really the type of man that she needs him to be.
I think Kiku is a bit more at fault for the dysfunction in their relationship overall. Whether or not he was ever properly attracted to or in love with her, he's quite clearly an inattentive boyfriend to an egregious degree. Who the hell goes traveling for an extended period without saying a word to their partner?? But he's not the only one that lets their partner pretend to be something they're not.
Kiku and Miyokichi are both very talented actors. Boyfriend and Girlfriend are roles that they're both playing. They're the happy heterosexual couple! Miyokichi seems to latch onto Kiku in large part for the sake of her safety (and because she doesn't know how to exist without a boyfriend in her life). And however much pleasure he may or may not get from Miyokichi's advances, I think Kiku stays in the relationship with her at least in part out of a sense of social obligation. She's beautiful and hitting on him. Young men are supposed to have girlfriends. He's encouraged to date to get experience for his rakugo. Is saying "no" even an option?
But because they're both playing roles, because they're both invested in Doing A Relationship as much as they're invested in each other as individuals, both of them skim along the other's surface. Neither of them ever volunteers to tell the other their real name, and apparently neither of them ever tries to ask. They spend eight years together, but those years are spent dating the personas of Kikuhiko and Miyokichi, not daring to look at the people underneath those masks.
#miyokichi's mask is the more obvious one. but there's absolutely parts of kiku buried deep down underneath his front#I tried to write this post so that it could apply to any reading of kikuhiko. but I am absolutely a queer kiku truther#I'm 90% a ''he's not attracted to her truther''#he's just. so comphet#I suppose you could read him as bi (or even ace and bi). since it's not like compet obligations can't still poison things#even if you do like girls#but if that's the case. then that poison runs deep enough that he might as well not be attracted to her even if he is. he's so mixed up#anyway I think Kiku is both a bit less in denial about the hollowness of their relationship AND more in denial about his own mask#tho it's hard to tell bc he's the unreliable narrator of this whole section#sgrs#shouwa genroku rakugo shinjuu#descending stories#kikuhiko#yurakutei yakumo#miyokichi#ID in alt text
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WARNING IM GOING TO BE HONEST AND EARNEST HERE. i really unironically unconditionally liked now and then
#like honestly i listened to it 2794288 times in the shower and came to the disgraceful revelation that like. oh my god it is a fucking beatl#es song and theyre 81 and 83 and 37 and 52 and theyre still ON the same song and fuck shit yes i get the solo is NOT georges and it makes me#a little upset but its still done in his memory and his style andthis is PAUL we are talking about and of course he is going to run away#with a project like this and going to do the solo but EVEN then he made the solo with george in mind and tried to emulate his style whether#it was an accurate representation or not they still care so fucking much. theyre the FUCKING beatles releasing music TODAY what the fuck#i will definitely feel different about this tomorrow morning but ive listened to this thing through on repeat since it released and buddy.#who care. like SO fucking much everyone care but WHO CARE!!!!!!!!! OLD MAN BEATLES YAOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY IN 2023!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry does this make sense. like im a george defender until i die but i could heard his guitars enough to be moderately pacified and#honestly im too tired and excited and emotionally drained to care anymore. tjey tried so so hard to do something and they DID it#i have a much MUCH more nuanced opinion that i could go into. but i dont want to rn🙏🏻#emi's meandering jotts
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If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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#killer bee sweepppp sndnsj#anyways killer bee bc hes so fuckin irritating i dont even want his tailed beast i would just kill him#jiraiya bc he mughtve once been funny but in his old age he let himself go. just an old creep now pip pip#kushina bc her rage and resentment over failed dreams is understandable but her abusiveness is not#fugaku bc those two lines under his mouth piss me tf off and hes the reason itachi had to do that. also he was mean to bb saske insta-die#those two elders are fuckinng everyone else over to satiate their need to conquer their own trauma. like is it enough. could it ever be#danzo idk his pissy litle voice and the fact that he tries so hard to be cool but hes just not. obviously hes living thru his little boytoy#hiruzen he just pisses me off. like in general. like ur not the hero and u had ur son murdered bc ur obsessed with a little boy. so#sakura dont get me wrong shes the epitamy of complicated mostly shes just annoying bc she wants to be different but then it doesnt happen#gai i like gai dont get me wrong but he does get annoying sometimes and i have issues with him and tenten idk#obito is literly incel annoying like he used rin as his sunshine power a complete lack of self awareness and hes that type that like uses#girls as like little cheerleaders like theyre just supporting characters for His Life and not actusl people#rin is so annoying too tho like damn girl i Understand the torment of having to hype up a mid guy that cheesed on you. like that was legit#probly harder for u than the exams but shes annoying bc she then used that role and idk something grody about her manipulating them but ma#naruto
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whats that ? hes been alive for centuries ? nah thats just the coffee and spite keeping him alive , no way hes a cryptic
oh ? the sun hurts him ? uhm thats just a ,, severe sunray reaction ! yeah ! that can happen right ?
( im having so much fun thinking of this au can you tell )
It’s so fun, I need to get tag going for it 😂 But god Frank just being that fuckin oblivious is my new favorite thing ever. Like so suspicious of everyone else that he doesn’t consider that he’s got any strange habits that would suggest anything about himself because I mean, who would know Frank better than Frank? Surely there’s nothing he could’ve possibly missed
#additionally the thought of him having been alive for so long is kind funny#just assumes people can just. Do That if they tried hard enough#which is to say he hasn’t really tried at all#though I do love the thought of this taking place in a bit more normal world#where like I said nighttime is just fine and I’d say they could leave the neighborhood if they pleased#so Frank just being around for years#and hear me out#has had previous lovers that just kinda drifted off over time#but they all looked and acted very similar to Eddie
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guys call me crazy but i think if i really really really really tried i could pull woonhak
#yuya brainrot ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁#YEAH I AM VRAXT#stop bc let me live#him in that elle photoshoot a while ago made me start tweaking#honestly IF I TRIED HARD ENOUGH I COULD#A SMALL PART OF ME BELIEVES SO.#LIKE I COULD FR IF I PUT SOME EFFORT INTO LOOKING GOOD#let me be delusional PLEASE#ok but no.#i could if i really wanted to#like if i knew the man irl i COULD#if i TRIED#like we’re basically the same age so he’s js another guy so he’s legit like js my classmate and i could frl js date him if i wanted to#this is me coping bc i actually have zero game it’s embarrassing#i cant even ask out cute guys irl i don’t have the balls to ask out kim woonhak#OK BUT#IF IT WAS WOONHAK MAYBE I COULD GROW THE BALLS TO DO SO#guys i might just be tweaking WHO KNOWS.#let me have a little bit of happiness in my life#woonhak wants me trust 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
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