#HOW MANY TIME I HURT MYSELF! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keykittygirl · 3 months

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Rant...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ j̪̟̮̔ͩư̡͕̭̇s̠҉͍͊ͅt̲̂̓ͩ̑ s̠҉͍͊ͅt̲̂̓ͩ̑o̯̱̊͊͢p̞̈͑̚͞ p̞̈͑̚͞l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕!!!!!

W̯ͤ̾ͣ͝ỉ͔͖̜͌l̙͖̑̾ͣl̙͖̑̾ͣ I̍̅̀̎̊ ẹ̿͋̒̕v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕r̴̨̦͕̝ bẹ̿͋̒̕ ẹ̿͋̒̕ṇ̤͛̒̍o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ĝ̽̓̀͑ḣ̖̻͛̓ f̵͖̜̉ͅo̯̱̊͊͢r̴̨̦͕̝ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇?!!!!!

Ỵ̛̖͋͢o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ s̠҉͍͊ͅā̤̓̍͘ỉ͔͖̜͌ḑ̴̞͛̒ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ ā̤̓̍͘r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ p̞̈͑̚͞r̴̨̦͕̝o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ḑ̴̞͛̒ ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕! B̩͎͍̾ͅư̡͕̭̇t̲̂̓ͩ̑ I̍̅̀̎̊ ḑ̴̞͛̒ỉ͔͖̜͌ḑ̴̞͛̒ṇ̤͛̒̍'t̲̂̓ͩ̑ s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ẹ̿͋̒̕ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇r̴̨̦͕̝ f̵͖̜̉ͅā̤̓̍͘c͕͗ͤ̕̕ẹ̿͋̒̕!!!!!!

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕...

I̍̅̀̎̊t̲̂̓ͩ̑'s̠҉͍͊ͅ s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕ḣ̖̻͛̓o̯̱̊͊͢o̯̱̊͊͢l̙͖̑̾ͣ br̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘ḳ̯͍̑ͦ p̞̈͑̚͞l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ c͕͗ͤ̕̕ư̡͕̭̇t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ s̠҉͍͊ͅo̯̱̊͊͢ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ s̠҉͍͊ͅl̙͖̑̾ͣā̤̓̍͘c͕͗ͤ̕̕ḳ̯͍̑ͦ... P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕...

I̍̅̀̎̊ ā̤̓̍͘l̙͖̑̾ͣr̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘ḑ̴̞͛̒y҉̃̀̋̑ ĝ̽̓̀͑o̯̱̊͊͢t̲̂̓ͩ̑ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ẹ̿͋̒̕ t̲̂̓ͩ̑o̯̱̊͊͢p̞̈͑̚͞ c͕͗ͤ̕̕l̙͖̑̾ͣā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅs̠҉͍͊ͅ ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍ḑ̴̞͛̒ o̯̱̊͊͢ṇ̤͛̒̍ẹ̿͋̒̕ ḣ̖̻͛̓ỉ͔͖̜͌ĝ̽̓̀͑ḣ̖̻͛̓ s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕o̯̱̊͊͢r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ḑ̴̞͛̒ā̤̓̍͘l̙͖̑̾ͣ...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕... I̍̅̀̎̊'ḿ̬̏ͤͅ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ỉ͔͖̜͌r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ḑ̴̞͛̒...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ I̍̅̀̎̊ c͕͗ͤ̕̕ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍'t̲̂̓ͩ̑ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ā̤̓̍͘ḳ̯͍̑ͦẹ̿͋̒̕ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ỉ͔͖̜͌s̠҉͍͊ͅ ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍y҉̃̀̋̑ḿ̬̏ͤͅo̯̱̊͊͢r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ j̪̟̮̔ͩư̡͕̭̇s̠҉͍͊ͅt̲̂̓ͩ̑ l̙͖̑̾ͣo̯̱̊͊͢v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍ḑ̴̞͛̒ bẹ̿͋̒̕ p̞̈͑̚͞r̴̨̦͕̝o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ḑ̴̞͛̒ ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ẹ̿͋̒̕ w̦̺̐̐͟ā̤̓̍͘y҉̃̀̋̑ I̍̅̀̎̊ ā̤̓̍͘ḿ̬̏ͤͅ...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕...

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ancha-aus · 3 months

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RealAgeAU Drabble - Dawn

I am back because i got home from work and I got no chill! :D @spotaus

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Okay. So why this one? Because i realised it was a while since i wrote a drabble from Horror's point of view and that is criminal and it is a great excuse for me to showcase some stuff from the quiet and very observing sockets of Horror! (also gives me an excuse to not think about the drabble order i got now and that thought i messed it up a bit which I need to think of a solution for)

Ready? Let's go!

*------------------------*

Horror makes sure to carefully close the door to the greenhouse. It is still early but he is used to those.

He enjoys the cool fresh air as he walks towards the house, small basket filled with fresh monster food. Horror is happy he got permission from Crop to harvest the plants in there for their meals.

He quietly opens the door and listens for a moment. He saw Cross leave the farm a little while ago to do his own morning workouts and by the sounds of it the other three are still asleep.

Which is good because he needs his own sleep. Horror knows very well that Dust is the one to wake up with Nightmare if something bothers him in his sleep.

He found the two of them awake and reading a book one too many times for Horror to believe they just had an allnighter.

Horror likes being up early. Maybe strange for him but he got used to it in his old universe. The best time to check his traps and search for food had been in the very early morning, or very late night depending on how you look at it, as most people would be asleep.

It is a leftover habit and he just kept going with it when he joined Nightmare's gang.

He puts the food away in all the right places and goes about getting the ingredients for todays breakfast. He notices the fresh milk and eggs and the choice is obvious. Some pancakes would be great.

He starts preparing the ingredients as he takes the time to measure it all. The milk makes him chuckle.

Watching Cross realises there was a cow had been funny. Finding Cross in a tree shaking with a cow under it had been hilarious. Crop ahd been apologetic as he explained that his cow, Betty (Killer had mutters "of course it is claled betty") was aparently mischievious.

Horror had his doubts but Cross swore that the cow would know when he left the farmhouse. That the cow would stand at the edge of her field and stare at him.

Cross did not go to the east side of the farm anymore. aparently that was Betty's territory in his mind.

Nightmare liked petting Betty however so you have your ups and downs.

Horror mixes the ingredients slowly but surely. Thinking about Nightmare, "Shouldn't you still be in bed?"

silence before a soft mutter "Not tired anymore."

Horror chuckles as he shoots Nightmare a look. He looks fully awake and adorable in his new wool sweater. Horror grins "God powers?"

Nightmare shrugs "I mean probably. I never needed sleep before. that is still new." They hadn't really noticed anything that could be connected to Nightmare's godhood at the moment. Maybe it had gone domant, at least that was Cross's guess. Dust just thinks Nightmare's magic is now focussed on healing instead of weird god shenenigans.

Speaking of healing! Horror gives him a stern look "bandages?"

Nightmare rolls his eye lights but mutters his answer "All still in place and good. Killer replaced them after the bath last night,"

Horror nods. With that secured he relaxes abit "Want to help?"

Nightmare is already by his side and stands on his tiptoes. Horror chuckles as he gives him a look "Need a chair?" he would offer a stepstool but the chair is more stable for him.

Nightmare looks at the counter annoyed before nodding his agreement. Horror grabs a chair and puts it near the counter. Nightmare climbs it easily.

Horror really wants to pick him up but they do have the rule that inside Nightmare should walk around himself to carefully train his spine. It is still much to early to already start carrying him. Horror knows that if any of them start they won't stop.

Nightmare reaches for the ingredients, some fruits for inside the pancakes, before pausing and staring at his sweater.

Nightmare has been very careful with his new gifted clothes. Horror himself is also very careful with the set of clothes Dust got him.

Horror frowns at the food he is making. He really hopes he can quickly find soemthing to do here to earn money. At the moment only Dust has something and it is starting to show, even Killer seems to be getting annoyed with himself over it.

Until now Horror and Cross helped around on Crop's farm. Which he was happy to do as it only seemed fair as a way to repay Crop for letting them stay. Horror has also been learning the basics about farming, farmland and farmwork from Crop. It is still a lot and not everything sticks in his skull, probably falling out of that hole. But he is getting better at it. He hopes with this Crop can maybe get the news out that both of them are more than willing to help around with heavy duty work and get a bit of cash flow.

Killer... Killer has a very specific set of skills. Sadly not specifically useful on a farm. Even if he is great with the animals and can herd pretty much anything, which is very useful but well. Most people won't let you near their animals unless they trust you and Killer is Killer.

Horror just feels bad that Dust is pretty much still Ngihtmare's main caretaker, got the rough end with the backstory they settled on, and has to deal with work to get cash. Only to spend all of it on them all.

Horror can see it is starting to wear him down. He just hopes they can figure out how to balance everything better.

It is another reason he loves these mornings. Because morning time means Dust, and Killer, both sleep in and Horror gets time to supervise their babybones. Horror adores the time wiht Nightmare. Especially when alone because then others don't watch them nervously the whole time.

It is exhausting to be seen as something dangerous even if he knows it is true. It is why they mean so much to him, they never treated him like that. None of them did.

A glance confirms that Nightmare has carefuly rolled up the sleeves and is taking extra care with cutting the fruits, using one of the duller knives which won't be able to cut bone. Horror turns back to getting everything else ready. He has to concentrate to push his intent into the food. He wants them to enjoy and like it. Feel the things he can't say to them.

Horror knows what he wants and feels but also knows none of them are ready to hear it. Horror has known that from the moment he realised what he felt was. The curse of being the only emotional stable one.

He still remembers all the way back near the start of them meeting and chuckles to himself. they did not get along at all.

Nightmare immediantly looks up "What is funny?" he looks adorably confused.

Horror thinks for a moment "Remember when you brought me in?"

Nightmare blinks before giving a slow nod "Yeah... I had hoped you would calm Killer and Dust."

Horror chuckles "Can't believe you thought i could do that."

Ngihtmare shrugs as he finishes up his task and just sits normally on the chair "I mean... It worked." his hands find the glass of juise Horror got him.

Horror pauses for a moment before nodding. Nightmare is kinda right with that one. It hadn't worked right away but he made it work. Mostly because he had had a lot of motivation.

Nightmare, still a fully active god at that point, had offered him that he would slowly but surely fix the food problem in his universe in trade for his service, something about it being too severe for him to be able to instantly fix but if Horror worked for him he would work on it. Horror had figured Nightmare had known about his little weird immortality situation with his own universe's core and accepted.

Turns out he just wanted him to fix whatever had been going on with Killer and Dust. Because they would fight. Constantly. And those two got very close to killing each other a few times.

Horror had eventually managed to somehow form a connection and bond with Killer. It had been rather easy and Horror was able to become friends with him over coworkers. Eventually find him not just annoying but funny. And later think fondly of his antics.

Dust took longer. Which had been a combination of Dust just being an introvert and not looking for connections or at least not in the way that made that clear to Horror. And well Horror heard bits and pieces of what Dust had done and had honestly been disgusted with the idea that Dust just murdered his whole universe and his own brother. Just to fight one human? Just to end a timeloop?

It was well after he managed to get them to stop, or at least contain the damage of, their fighting. Well after he started working for Nightmare more permanently that Horror realised how the multiverse worked.

And how fucking unfair it was.

Because aparently? stupid fate or some shit? That decided how your universe worked. His would always have ended up with a famine and starvation. Killer would always lose control and be controlled, abused and used by the human. Cross would always be the end of his universe. Dust... Dust would always have to kill his universe. No matter what he tried or solution he tried.

It wasn't until later Horror learned that Dust had tried everything. Multiple times. That Dust had learned to play multiple musical instruments in the time of resets. That he had learned to cook, and tinker. He master chemistry. Everything in the hopes it could give him a solution.

But the fates had already decided his ending, much like for all of them there was only one ending possible for them. And in the end locked him in a dead AU make by his own hands when no other options was left. Just like all of them had been.

Horror has to admit it took him a long time to get Dust to admit those things to him. Msotly because Horror had been standoffish before and that he accidentally gave Killer advice to treat Dust like one of the many stray cats he interact with.

He hadn't specifically said that. horror had just told Killer that maybe Dust would like Killer more, or at all, if Killer learned to respect his boundaries. Horror had mentioned how Killer could learn each cat's limits so why not Dust?

Worst part was that it actually worked.

Horror rubs his face "I give him cat advice." his voice sounds pained. Dust had been so mad at them both.

Nightmare nods "I remember. Dust left for three weeks." he snorts "which really is very catlike..." more thoughtful "And then you two got mad at me for not telling you where he went." He blinks and shrugs as he drinks from his orange juice.

Horror ignores the cat comment as he looks at Nightmare "Why didn't you tell us?" Dust had actually been recruited to help Nightmare with the balance. Something Horror only started to do after helping Killer and Dust be less homicidal.

Nightmare blinks at him wiht those wide sockets "I didn't want to force any of you... If you wanted to leave..." he speaks softer and softer "I wasn't going to stop you if you wanted to leave... if you didn't want to stay..."

Horror frowns and picks Nightmare up. He embraces him and hums "I am sorry we left..."

Nightmare shrugs as he pushes clsoer to him "You came back..."

hah... yeah they did. Much like Dust did all that time ago. He was gone for a few weeks before returning after killing Ink bringing back one of his fucking sketchbooks as proof. Obviously killing Ink does little in the long run but it was quite the powermove. Dust had glared at them daring to say anything. Killer of course had muttered something about Dust bringing back a kill much like a cat.

Horror is still not sure how he managed to stop Dust from Killing Killer that day.

Horror puts Nightmare at the table and gets a small yogurt and fruit snack ready for him. Just so he can eat a tiny bit. See how his magic will handle food today. Nightmare starts eating it when offered and that is a good sign. Means his magic is actually sending out the signal that it needs food today.

Horror goes back to flipping pancakes. Horror tries to stay in the here and now but his injury makes his mind likely to wander. and with already having been thinking about them.

He still remembers one of the early missions, after Horror learned about fates cruel games. Dust had still acted the same but Horror had tried to be more friendly. He had been close to giving up on it as clearly it wasn't working as Dust was still standoffish. Only for Dust to pull him out of the way of an attack from Ink, getting hit instead.

Later Horror had demanded why he did that and Dust had just shrugged. He hadn't had an answer for him. It confused Horror to no end. Horror was immortal because of that fact that his magic had been used in the core and bonded to that. Meaning as long as the core in his universe was fine he would return to life.

The gang had known this and Horror knew that Dust knew this. And yet. Dust had heard all of that and looked at the large monster Horror had become saw soemthing worth protecting. Something that needed protection.

Horror thinks he fell a little bit in love that day.

Much like how one day Horror just realised he couldn't stand the idea of not being near Killer or never seeing him again. That even if Killer could be annoying that he didn't wish him any pain or harm.

How it warmed his soul that Killer, and Cross later, would hide behidn him. Seeing him as someone safe that would protect them. See him as someone trustworthy.

Cross, so eager to please and desperate for affection and affirmation. but once he relaxed so smart and funny. Loyal and always ready to help...

But now is not the time to try and see what any of them thought or felt. They are dealing wiht a lot at the moment and they need to concentrate with trying to make staying here work.

The front door opens and Cross walks in quietly. He sneaks a glance at them and smiles when Horror catching him looking. Cross waves to Nightmare "Hey guys. All good?"

Horror nods "Nightmare helped." he flips another pancake as Nightmare drinks his juice with a smug little smile.

Cross grins "Good to hear. I will quickly get cleaned up and help. Dust and Killer?"

Nightmare hums "Still asleep." and he sips his juice again.

Cross nods "Good to know. be back in a bit" and he goes towards the bathroom. The pipes groan softly as Cross no doubt turns on the shower.

Horror finishes the last pancake and gets to wrok on getting the drinks and coffee ready.

Another day for them to figure out how this will work. Horror is just happy they are all here, everything else can wait as long as they stick together.

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#utmv #realageau #nightmare sans #deaged nightmare #cross sans #Horror Sans #We are back with a Horror POV #you guys I love Horror's pov. He is just such a nice and emotionally stable guy #I can actually just have him admit feelings and thoughts and let him make conclusions without a lot of selfdoubt!#It is so nice?!#this is a drabble that if it were a full story i would be stuck on #mostly because there are so many more things i wanted to add and expand on but just didn'have the room or time to do quickly #I write these in one go which is why they are drabbles instead of official chapters #they are the rough rough drafts of chapters #This would be a hard chapter because there are so many things i wanted to type but yet the flow of the drabble and story only goes so far #Writing whining aside this is the next drabble #maybe i will revisit things that were mentioned later #You guys i wanted to add how everyone has their own love language and explain the one of the guys but i just couldn't get there without it #breaking the flow and that hurts so much! I wanted to talk abotu that! sigh #maybe another time #but i promised myself these drabbles are unedited and stay as drabbles and rough shape so here we are!#but yeah if i ever turn this into a full full story with even more in between bits and expand the drabbles this would be terror to figure #out just because there is so much i would want with it1 #okay i am going to stop now

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