#HELP ME IM IN DEEP OH GOD | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pinayelf · 18 days ago

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tHE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER I JUST WENT THRU

#HELP ME IM IN DEEP OH GOD #THE ANGST BEGINS #sinag x fenris #sinag hawke #screencaps #fenhawke #I WAS HOOTIN AND HOLLERIN AT THE SCREEN LIKE I WAS WATCHING SPORTS LMAOOO

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possamble · 7 months ago

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realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

#possramble #ignore this im just babbling but #the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel #and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession #platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together #like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married #convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist #but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain #like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just #the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends #the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me #like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed #the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk #people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!!#but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out #don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck.#i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing.#she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it #and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not.#she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over #like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics #and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with #they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic #it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out #like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched #love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it #anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me #it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3 #it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.

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frecklystars · 1 month ago

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this man's sleeves are about to pop open and tear right off. he flexes and his shirt just fucking explodes

#love notes #love notes: ignacio ♡#💕♬♪ ♥ You stole my heart before anyone knew you had it - ̗̀˚₊·🐍🎱🌹˚₊· ̖́-#[jesse pinkman voice] YEAH BITCH!!! LOVE NOTES!!!!#oh my goddd let me be abnormal about him please #add another bald man to the roster fellas #first it was marco and leonel then it was mike then it was saul (he's balding. it counts)#now it's this rattlesnake lookinass slithery motherfucker stealing my heart #it wasnt at first sight either it TOOK him TWO MONTHS #i was terrified of him #until there was a scene where he was angry and he COULD HAVE lashed out #BUT HE DIDNT. HE HAD SELF CONTROL #he calmed himself down and took deep breaths and talked rationally #and he protects innocents if he's able to. and he feels remorse when he can't.#and he cares so much for his father bc to him his father is the purest kindest soul #and i just absolutely fell so hard. so SLOWLY though. he snuck up on me #but he's a thief isn't he? at least in one episode? 🥰 how fitting #i love violent criminals with the capacity to have a soft spot. for ANYTHING #it helps me feel safer with them and like the old me #youre supposed to look at a villain and know in ur heart that ur the exception and they'd protect u #and im slowly learning that again even tho its so damn hard #but this guy!!! and marco!!! and leonel!!! i just KNOW they're my ride or die #the actors telling me that in person and in cameo sure helps though sdlfjslkfdsf #oh god i need to tell you guys something really cool that happened to me with marco's actor this week #when i get the chance!!!

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littencloud9 · 13 days ago

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i love u nekoma & karasuno i love you SO MUCH

#can you tell i just watched the dumpster battle movie #[deep breath] AHHHHHHGGGGHHFHFHFJJFJGKG #ALL THE INTERACTIONS WERE SO FUCKING CUTE 😭😭😭😭#baby kuroo… i forgot how much i adored kuroo oh my god. TEARS IN MY EYES #HES SO FUCKING LAME #he was an emotional wreck this movie. had me giggling #his ass wld NOT leave tsukki alone HELP #omg and bokuto yachi interaction <3 #HINATA AND INUOKA I LOVE U SO MUCH #kenma…. this truly was the kenhina movie nobody talk to me #and the mini scene of kuroo and daichi pointing at each other. I DIED!! I DIED!!!!#ourghhhhhh I LOVE THEM ALL SO DEARLY #also the detail of nishinoya moving out of the way when he saved the ball was great. loved that #SUGA 😭😭 HE WAS GOING INSANE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO DEARLY #okay tbh i didnt expect the match to end like that but it’s fine. i was immediately distracted by the FEELS #ALSO OMG. GOSHIKI AND TENDOU WERE SO FUNNY LOL #AND AND NEKOMA THIRD YEARS 😭😭😭 KUROO AND YAKU TEARING UP 😭😭 THEM HUGGING EACH OTHER #IM SOOOO ILL IM SO FUCKING ILL #also the kurodai hug and the kuroo thanking tsukki I FEAR I KEEP WINNING #did i mention the kuroken flashbacks. oh my god. they were so CUTE #BABY KUROO TALKING TO KENMA’S DAD AND HE WAS JUST SO SMALL AND ENTHUSIASTIC UGH 🥹😭#wow. i need to die #wait also. giggles. the kenhina knife scene. 10/10 gayest shit in hq #ahhhh i LOVE THEM #NEKOMA SECOND YEARS TOO. FUKUNAGA U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME #anyway u guys shouldve seen me. i was going insane. i was losing it every scene #OH AND THE CREDITS?? kuroshou I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE #‘gotta take a pic to show mika’ this too is kuromikashou or whatever their ship name is #this was the kenhina movie first and the kuroo ship galore movie second /j #anyway i need to go lie down now goodbye

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cosmicwhoresimpingismyliving · 3 months ago

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I think I’ve played too much Stardew Valley. Anytime a character has the same name as one of the residents in Stardew Valley I automatically picture the character I'm reading in the book as them😭

#oh god help me #help im into deep #the obsession is real #the obsession has me in a chokehold #picturing fictional characters as the characters that I'm reading #stardew valley #sdv #sdv bachelors #sdv community #stardew valley community

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thefourchimes · 1 year ago

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went to youtube and searched for ronance content without warning and now its making me want to rewatch st for ronance

what if yes

#these girls are going to be the death of me istg #i blame liv and finn for my predicament rn /lh #i love them so much #gonna scream actually #this might help me out with ronancetober tbf #alrighty #i need to rewatch the “so does that make us friends? as in officially?” scene and the robin kneeling for nancy scene anyway for a thing #im in deep oh god help me #[hysterical laughter]#ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley

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biblicalhorror · 8 months ago

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Late s3 cordy showing up in the library when Buffy's there to aggressively flirt with Wesley only to complain about being soooo bored the second she's actually left alone with him lmfao girl I know what you are so bad

#poor girl this whole season is like okay im dating one of buffys best friends surely she will want to be around me now #oh now im kind of part of the group! but my boyfriend is kind of rude to me all the time and keeps embarrassing me in front of buffy #but i will be as helpful as i can and sit and read these books to help buffy!#okay well my boyfriend is cheating on me with another friend in the group and then i immediately got impaled right after finding out #thats soo embarrassing oh my god time to break up rebrand and disappear for a few weeks #wait shit i miss buffy :/ what excuse can i find to be in and out of the library constantly hmm #also she seems to be spending a lot of time with a new brunette oh shit oh fuck. gotta think fast #oh hello new twentysomething nerd who is around now and seems flustered by my presence. perfect timing #now i can get all dressed up and flirt with you in front of buffy to make her jealous and also piss off xander #surely this adult knows fully dating me would be illegal so i will never have to actually act on these flirtations right. right?#dammit now i said i wanted to be alone with him and im alone with him. i actually kind of hate this man. fuck.#oh god im in too deep #j rewatches btvs

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mxlfoydraco · 2 years ago

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so… crimson rivers ch 66-67… whats your cry count bc im losing it mr crabs

#I KNEW #I FELT WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN #BUT I WASNT READY😭#it was so brutal oh my god i feel like my hearts went through a meat grinder #anon who asked me about cr…. it feels like this sometimes….#thanks to cr and close behind ive been crying abt fic for 2 days straight HeLp #crimson rivers #crimson rivers spoilers #zeppazariel #im gonna go read bakery wolfstar fic and take deep breaths😭

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hella1975 · 10 months ago

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what do you plan to do with your degree after uni?

FUCK NASTY!!!

#if i ever touch economics again it's a cry for help like i cannot stress enough how fucking pointless this degree is gonna be #okay deep breath im only being so negative bc im balls deep in exam season. it's a GOOD degree i DONT REGRET MY DEGREE #this will be EXCEPTIONALLY helpful when i go into the working world i am EMPLOYABLE bc of my DEGREE #like economics is a VERY versatile subject there arent many areas of work that econ doesnt apply to in some way #so i KNOW it's a really good degree to have and i can kinda do what i want afterwards #but oh my fucking god. jesus christ. bloody fucking hell #i do however know that in the immediate year after my degree im gonna move back home and waitress full time #bc i just need to like. take some time off education and recover LMAO and i want a space to just tick some boxes i never got round to #like learning how to drive and stuff. and living without having rent to pay in a place im very familiar with will be good #even if i do think it's gonna have it's own struggles. oh hometown blues we're really in it now #but yeah after that year im thinking about maybe doing a masters? but ill have to proper blag it bc you typically have to do #masters in subjects relevant to your degree and i dont want to go within a radiation exclusion zone of economics #so. there's that. do u think if i say please somewhere will let me do a classics masters be honest. if i say pretty please #ask #hella goes to uni

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attractthecrows · 5 months ago

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retconning stroud out of the deep roads so i can shove laure amell and the hawke siblings and varric and anders all into the same little camp. they would all have such a bad time

#carver: dying of blight. with an inferiority complex. but mostly dying #danie: MY BROTHER!!! MY BABY BROTJER HELP HIM!!!!!#anders: oh god oh fuck. wait a minute. i recognize this area. isnt this where the commander should be? oh hell #varric: we are all going to 🪦die⚰️ in a 🕳 hole. not even a GOOD hole #warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: oh. anders. glad you're not dead or a darkspawn but Why The Fuck Are You Here #anders: oh hell. uh.#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: actually shut up. darkspawn incoming. its too open here so follow me to camp #'uh- commander-' 'shut it. there are shrieks about. this is a nasty area to be in with non-wardens' [glaring disapprovingly]#they awkwardly walk to camp. sigrun and a couple other wardens are there. they all sit down & drop their stuff #amell sits on a stump and pulls out a corked bottle. pops the cork. sniffs it. takes a swig. her white hair almost seems to glow?#she coughs then asks anders 'so why *are* you this far in the deep roads with a band of nonwardens? how'd you even get here?'#anders pulls out the map and hands it over. she looks at it. her expression darkens. she rolls up the map and says 'Anders.' he looks up.#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!'#she whaps him one more time then stuffs the maps into her bag. 'that still doesn't tell me WHY you're here. out with it.'#varric speaks up: 'my asshole brother locked us in a thaig. we came down on an expedition and found an idol that he betrayed us for'#amell frowns. 'a *thaig*? there aren't any records in the shaperate of any out this far. this isn't even a main branch of the deep roads.'#'it could be ancient!' sigrun offers 'or an unsavory secret the shaperate 'lost'. like Caridin?' amell nods & turns back to varric.#'so you're looking for a way out.' they nod. 'and just happened to come by this way?' anders says 'no commander- we need your help.'#amell takes another swig of her bottle. her hair is definitely glowing slightly. 'who *doesn't* these days. but for a pair of old friends-'#she winks at anders. 'what is it you need?' danie interrupts. '-please- my brother is sick- if you can't help him he'll die!'#amell looks at hawke then at carver. gets up and steps over to him. kneels in front of him and unceremoniously grabs his face #tilts his chin up (carotid + jugular blackened) peels his eyelid back (sclera greying and bloodshot) pries open his mouth (tongue greying)#then releases his head and stands shaking her hands. 'oh yeah. that's blight for sure. this is why you sought me out?' anders nods.#'we'll take him. but you know- he may not survive the joining.' 'any chance is better than letting him die!' 'i agree.' amell says coolly.#'youre lucky. we can do it here but the prep will take time. rest. eat. be on your guard. and DO NOT touch my whiskey if you're not a mage.'#it takes like a day of prep. also no one has used amell's name so they havent figured out the Cousins thing yet #eventually amell pulls carver over to the fire and hands him a cup of the joining potion and says 'you get one warning. *don't flinch.*'#he drinks it. he lives. but he's unconscious. amell sends the party on their way #to anders: here. i found this not long after you left. *hands him the phylactery* you and justice be careful. it's getting chaotic out there #to hawke: for what it's worth im sorry. if ever you need the wardens' assistance i grant it under the authority of warden-commander amell

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nightfallsystem · 7 months ago

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tw stupid vent in tags

#tw self harm #tw vent #“being a teenager is the best!” I CUT MYSELF ALMST EVERYDAY.#IVE SCARRED MYSELF SO BAD ILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES NO MTTER HOW LONG IT SBENE SINCE IT HAPPENED #I ONYL SPEAK TO LIKE ONE OR TWO PEOPLE IRL I AM DETERIORATING #I ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING SCAR SO BIG U CAN FEEL WHERE IT GETS DEEP #HOW .#HOW IS THIS GOOD #HOW DO I HAVE HTE BEST LIFE HOW R PEOPLE JEALOUS #WHENEVER I GET MISGENDERED I CANT HELP BUT BITE MYSELF UNTIL I BLEED which is really hard to do...#IM SO SIKKC OF IT #IM SO TIREDD.#im going insane again arent i #THERES NOT BEEN A WEEK WITHOUT SELF HARM SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN #EVERY LIMB HURTS except my right leg specifically i saved that one for spare parts #oh and my goddamn mother only cares about how ill look because of the scars and not that im FUCKING BLEEDING OUT BCUZ OF HER NO LESS #DOES IT GET BETTER. DO I STOP CUTTING MYSELF??#everytime i see a little too much blood it reminds me of when i did it and i feel sick to my stomach

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themyscirah · 8 months ago

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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute

#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys #i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my #head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it #may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it #dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt #equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there #like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he #doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be #like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in #ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get #herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you #like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his #actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior #idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be #i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around #blah #sui sq

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vaugarde · 1 year ago

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tbh in my kirbyverse i might just nix hyness having genuinely been a great parental figure or family member to the mage sisters entirely and lean more into “the sisters thought he was their friend but really he just made them dependent and devoted to him” like the way actual cults lure their members in. like a twisted form of love that goes against the jamba hearts entirely.

and its not just for that parallel between hyness’s controlled environment and kirby’s community of friends and former enemies he’s helped along the way, but also because it’d differentiate them from taranza/sectonia and haltmann/susie a bit more bc it wouldnt quite be another “i’m mourning my loved one who got corrupted and want them back” story, but “the person we loved never truly existed and we’ve been fighting for a man who never loved us and only viewed us as a means to an end”

#and this isnt to say that like ''oh hyness is born evil he has no tragic background or progression to who he became'' or anything #i think that at one point in his life hyness did care about his followers and was a charming person who helped others #but like. hes a cult leader. that twisted into him being manipulative and cruel to his followers once they were too deep in to get out #especially the sisters who i imagine were far too deep in #and it takes hyness dying or something for them to really start to heal and process their trauma #even magolor who in my verse was raised by and grew to despise hyness. really only managed to get out bc he was literally exiled #and i imagine that loneliness got to him especially when he spent years on halcandra alone #with less than ideal living conditions #idk. to me hyness is a character that lives on spite first and care second #so on some level he probably DOES care about the sisters. but he's abusive and controlling to them. hes not safe for them #his devotion to void and hatred for the ancients will always come first.#his anger at being cast out eventually formed into him desiring a sense of control over every single aspect of his life #i feel like. god if i lean into this im gonna get comments like ''ermmm why do you hate hyness why do you hate complex characters''#and like. well yeah i do hate him actually if only bc i hate how hes handled in canon. but like im sorry i hate his ending lol #echoed voice

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pepprs · 2 years ago

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hi im gonna say goodbye to her in like 5 mins im waiting for her to wrap up another meeting rn. and i burst into tears in front of my colleagues and VERY visibly just cried 😁👍👍👍👍👍👍

#purrs #i am so INSANELY triggered rn and don’t know how to keep my emotions in check. i don’t want to cry or be messy. oh god. this is the worst #thing that has ever happened to me LMFAOOOOOOOOO actually it’s not. but it’s up there. this is so bad. i feel like im going to die or #explode or both. it’s literally not thst deep bc we’ll keep in touch and she’s not moving away or anything she’s just retiring. but it’s #making me CRAZYYYYYY how i am reliving the same horrors from last year. THE SAME HORRORS. before even having a chance to heal from the FIRST #horrors!!!!!!!! LIKE WHAT THE HELL. i can only take so much. i can’t withstand it all. i couldn’t suppress the tears anymore i just exploded #LOLLLL. the way i ugly cried and might do it again IN FRONT OF HER…. HELP. lol ♥️ and we will only have 10 mins to talk bc she has another t #thing at 12:45 and i squandered so much time crying and having to clean my face off that now i burned our last precious moments. AWESOMEEEEE #delete later

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im-smart-i-swear · 1 year ago

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Does Jiro has ghost like abilities (possession, ability to levitate things, etc etc) or does she just live in Shiro's head?

when i created this au, i thought the best option would be for her to be unable to interact with the physical world in any way(including possesion), beacuse i really wanted to lean into her isolation and how it affects her....... and while thats something i still want to emphasise here, lately ive been toying with the idea of jiro being able to impact the physical world somehow(though it still being fairly limited). i think letting her have some control could have a lot of potential! buuuut i also have no idea what abilities i want her to have lol

For now i think im not gonna give her any telekinetic abilities, bc i feel like it would be giving her too much power......... if she could throw shit, shed go APESHIT with it. it would made things too easy for her. i'm sorry babygirl but i'm NOT giving you the possibilty to throw knives and other sharp objects, i dont trust you to not kill someone:/

i really like the idea of her being able to temporarily posses her old body in certain circumstances tho- maybe when shiros uncouncious?? or like when hes is very tired or heavily injured she can kind of 'squeeze through' and take control back for a few minutes???? idk. i think this could be a very cool ability to give her- it cant be frequently used but can also be very helpful, and also theres so much potential for ✨shenanigans✨here>:) oh god i could put these fuckers in so many Situations with this..........

uhhh. so basically i think all of her influence on the physical world are through shiro. shes here bc of her connection to her old body, and thus its the only way for her to interact with anyone besides him- and shes NOT HAPPY about this(neither is shiro).

#ask #thank you for this ask!! it made me think more in depth about jiros abilities and come up with this so thanks<33333 #if you have any ideas pls share them with me cause im still not really 100% set on everything lol #also im making a new tag for this au ->#two disasters au #bc. theres two of them.. and theyre both Mentally Unwell #also im gonna use this ask as an excuse to ramble about jiros motivation and character a bit-#okay. so i feel like the most importrant things about jiro are her tunnel vision and self-rightiousness #she gets really focused on one thing at a time and then fixates on it so much that she doesnt see how her behavior affects others #so when she gets evicted from her own body her first reaction isnt 'oh god this is such a messed up and dehumanizing thing to do to your #friend. what the FUCK guys'#its instead 'oh COME ON how am i supposed to be the black paladin without a physical body??? what the FUCK guys'#and bc deep down she KNOWS that if she ever stopped and thought about her situation for like 5 seconds shed just fuckin BREAK. so. she #doesnt do that.#and bc her self worth hinges on being the black paladin #she is really protective of tha title and tries her hardest to make sure shiro knows just how much better at paladin-ing she is than him #and that he wouldnt be able to keep the role without her help #she doesnt have any sense of personhood besides her job and so she clings to it desperately #the same applies to her gender #when jiro gets a new body(did i mention that???? i feel like i forgot to mention that. whoopsie???) he #(sometimes im gonna use he/him for jiro for when im showing things from a certain characters perspective cause thats what pronouns #she was using at the time)(if thats not okay i can stop tho) was trying very hard to pretend that hes just Shiro No. 2 and nothing more #to kinda 'make things easier for everyone' and bc he could FEEL the gender crisis approaching and was just. dead set on ignoring it and #hoping those feelings would go away(spoiler- they very much didnt. it just made things so so much Worse)#so anyway. basically jiro is a person obsesed with being Good Enough and respected but also lacks the experience patience and foresight #wnich results in her ignoring everyone and everything else to focus on doing her job Correctly #does this makes sense?? im still figuring shit out with her but thats what ive got rn

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noxtivagus · 2 years ago

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watching the invincible orchestra version n i'm mentally unstable rn

#FUCK. IT'S SO LOVELY #MY POOR HEART OH MY GOD THE VOCALS THE INSTRUMENTS AT THE START N #it's so heavenly. it's perfection what the fuck #i'm emotional waaah emet-seelch my beloved :<<#the desperation the pain in invincible n. the power the ost has is just so wonderful #IT'S SO FITTING . of emet-selch caliber n his story n everything ><#i'm gna watch from the heavens pls pray for me i'm gna cry #I GOT CHILLS FUCK #I LOVE THAT PART SO MUCH........... THAT #OH MY GOD THE LYRICS????????#AAAAAAAA IT SOUNDS SO GOOD I'M GNA CRY #the. I CANT PLACE MY MIND ON IT BUT YK THE INSTRUMENT IN THE BACK #this is so good this is so good yk if i listened to this live i'd actually collapse n be overwhelmed with emotion #the lyrics ily ily ily ily ITS SO HEAVENLY #omega f & m are so gender please step on me #OH MY GOD ESCAPE. ASCENSION???? IM GNA CRY #i am left w just chills i have no more words help me #wait i forgot invincible has lyrics i'm gna cry #'these memories ache with the weight of fate' my man my bro ily please kiss me #'now breathe deep of the darkness beneath the flood / where all of the proud angels drink to their deeds of blood #their lies twisted and torn into dreams they're spun'#'yet ever we still stand tall / invincible / never we fall' i love you .#edit/ i've been watching stuff w apollo for like hours now n it's rlly fun #but we took a break for a bit n i was planning to nap for 30 minutes until 4 but my mind my mind my mind it #when the world is silent when i'm not distracting myself with something it just.#it hurts it hurts this emptiness torments me it hurts so much i want to just.. do better be better but my #mistakes n regrets n shortcomings haunt me. i'm sorry i just want to be happy but i feel so.. distant from everything n it hurts so much #i don't want anyone to worry so i'll bury it n tell myself i'm alright w this distance but i'm crying i don't want to hurt myself again #i burst into tears rn it hurts a lot but i know i'll get through this. i always do. i'll be fine i'll be fine i can handle this #i just. i'm not gna write too much here but fuck i just want to be me. to be real n. alive n. 🥹 free to be me n what that means to me yeah..

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