#HE WASNT EVEN ALL THAT FR
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"PHILLIP," Leshay Holmes.
#Leshay Holmes#my poetry#poetry#my writings#words#poets on tumblr#I NEED TO GET OVER HIM#I'M JUST GOING OUT SAD ABOUT HIM#HE WASNT EVEN ALL THAT FR#RIP TO PHILLIP#SORRY ME AND YOUR DAD COULDN'T LAST LONG ENOUGH TO BRING YOU INTO THIS WORLD#I SOUND SO DELUSIONAL
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for @cherryys who (rightfully!) hcs lategame megumi as having a bunch of scars befitting his status as resident punching bag
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#guess who hasnt slept its meeeeee#finding refs fr this took forEVER#mostly bc all the pinterest boys are too gd beefy to use as megu ref#but even once i found good refs i am so used 2 drawing beef!!! so used 2 shirtless torsos tht look like yuuji's!!!!#had to keep Undefining my lines n slimming him down#n then he didnt look toned enough!!!!!!!!#constant too hot/too cold . endless suffering .#bangs head on desk all i know to draw is BEEF and this boy is 100% sinew........#but we got there . th render helped a LOT#but then right back 2 suffering bc i asked sam fr Scar Recs n they had th idea 2 give him a lightning scar from when he was taming nue#and i was like omg ya!!!! (voice of some1 who did Not know what lightning scars look like)#so to say i looked them up and uh . new least favourite thing 2 draw just dropped :)#th more accurate i tried to be the more it looked like a weird artsy tattoo#n that scar wasnt even part of what cherryys mentioned they envisioned !!! optional hurdle !!!!!!! i torture myself but fr naught!!!!#th scars tht they mentioned are the glass eye/eye scar from th sukuna/gojo fight + burns up the jaw + abdomen stab wound a la toji#everything else is just visual flavour#sighs at least i got some good shameless torso practice out of this#once i got 2 painting i took my sweet time with him and i am happy now . sleep deprived but happy <3#one of my megumi mutuals(tm) says jump i say how high
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A HEAARRRRT IS A HOUSE FOR LOOVE AND IVE LEARRNNED THAT IT DONT TAKE MUCH TO BREAK A HEAARTT
sorry I just had to get that out lol I love that damn movie. That film, the temptations film (Paul and Cornbread my loves) and the little richard biopic will always have Leon as one of my fav actors idc idcccc also it took me way too long to find out the five heartbeats weren't a real group 🤣
IS A HOUSE ! FOR LOVE !
And I've LEARNED ( ive leaarnnned!!) 🗣‼️‼️
NO NO, DONT SAY SRRY FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE. NEVER BE SRRY FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE !!!!
ALL ur takes are MWAH. Just MWAH.
PAUL AND CORNBREAD LOL!! THE LOVES!. OUR BEAUTIFUL LOVES!!!. UGH. UGH. IM SO OBSESSED WITH THESE MOVIES. BOTH!! OF THESE GROUPS ARE REAL AS LONG AS U BELIEVE!!!
& i know dresser ran to that limo once he heard Eddie begging for his job back (our poor softie gentleman baritone baby..) but i think somebody should be jt's moral compass bcs duck is just 😭 sick of him
Leon deserved SO MANY MORE major movie roles just by being beautiful and bitchy like . His 50 cent movie cameo was so fucking funny.. TY FOR SAYING THIS. GENUINELY. I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE LOVES THESE MOVIES TOO. The characters are hilarious and tragic and I am. Infatuated with them all. They all have their lil moments to solidify them as real or to reflect them being real and it's just. Mwah.
Eddie almost at rock bttm begging for his job back bcs he loves music. He Loves. Music. But he has trauma so much trauma but he's Trying. He's trying so hard and then he opens his coat to reveal he still has their old performance uniform but makes a funny noise:
JT:
#robert townsend just like me fr. obsessed with this diva leon#he was like ok hes playing this prettyboy role Too well.. LITTLE RICHARD MOVIE IS CALLING !!!#leon is such a pretty man. and now he is my cringe oldman wife like idc hes my everything still idc idc#and the 5 heartbeats are REAL!!!!!!!#i just seen them!!!!! dresser was telling me abt how hes an english teacher during the days off bcs he loves it#it's true i never lie#actually i am lying they cant be a real band bcs jt would probably be dead of aids im srry#manslut king partied too hard#speaking of king i love cornbread and paul's friendship so much in the movie#irl theyre friends too bcs paul dumped a bucket of mop water or smthing on cornbreadeddie & they fought#then ran away together to live their singing dreams after eddie stole his brothers car or smthing#but eddie irl started gravitating toward david even while paul was alive#but in the movie they were together forever until paul wasnt and thats just so sweet to me#cornbread is an unbothered cigarette boyboss. i like to think movie cornbread is lowkey just tired of david#but deals with him bcs hes the only other one who hates otis#the movie and the reality differs a lot cus it's otis'd say on things so it's like 2 dif worlds to me#but one remainder is paul is my favorite and he deserved so much better. so much more appreciation#a love i can see is my favorite song of the tempts and pointstop one of my favs. i love his singing voice. it's so energetic but full#of emotion#hes 🩵🩵🩵🩵 PAULLL!!!! ARGHH!! we are the second biggest paul fans aside from cornbread 🩵#pls feel free to tell me ALL ur thoughts on these movies / leon movies in general LOL ive seen like#allmost all of them i could like i could talk so much abt leon#one of my fav actors ever as well !!!! hes a cutiepatootie aaa!!! his obsession with jamaica...#ted asks#ted doodles#PLS. PLS GEEK OUT WITH ME ABT THESE MOVIES MAN. I AM SO STARVED#the temptations#the five heartbeats
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kpop cover challenge 🦦
challenge: make a setlist including 10 (or more) of your dream covers using whichever idols you like — any group members and/or soloists, active or inactive — in any unit/combination you want, then tag five people! rules: you can feature the same groups as many times as you want, but you can’t include the same member(s) multiple times.
tagged by my dearest mj @yoongiphoria who has correct opinions on everything as per usual. thank you for tagging me i have been waiting to get asked this very question my entire life
into you (tamia ft. fabolous) by natty of kiss of life & rm of bts
bring me to life (evanescence) by jungkook & j-hope of bts (i have been saying this for years.. WALK WITH ME)
twenty-three (iu) by huh yunjin of le sserafim (23rd birthday cover soon 🙏)
x (leon) by suga of bts
out of time (the weeknd) by v of bts
wine (suran ft. changmo) by belle of kiss of life & yeonjun of txt
don’t wanna go back (jihyo ft. heize) by hyein of newjeans & iu
bodies (keshi) by huening kai of txt
sugarcoat (natty) by jihyo of twice
rewind (twice) by newjeans
this is breaking the rules so its not in the main list but i also dream of jungkook doing a cover of i'm not sorry by dean ft. eric bellinger
tagging my favorite music heads (same people i tag in everything) 🫡 @cinnaminsvga @jtrbluv @jentwt @milkcutea @wdcmaxy and anyone else who wants to do this say i tagged you because i want to imagine more covers that would change my brain chemistry
#i am on some shit that hasnt even been invented yet to be so fr with you all#if i wasnt running on 3 hours of sleep over the last 48 hours i wouldve included samples of the given cover artists voices for reference#but you will just have to trust that i cooked here#tagged#my dad walked in while i was drafting this and when i tried to close the tab it froze. should i kill myself#← unfortunately for me he has ‘must read every word on anybodys screen in front of me’ disease. reason 2618279 why i am literally my father#if he loved hello kitty and wasnt bald#anyways. this was so fun i love niche tag games!!
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aw my special little guy is an astronaut (again) but german (lol) and also builds a bomb (upon request), good for him 🥹 and has five kids what the hell volkov
#this is funny to me. well#because#anyway the martian. actually a good movie fr even if my special little guy was barely on screen#since he wasnt the one stranded on mars etc etc whatever#sixdemon nonsense#hes named vogel even. which is basically volkov to me. in my head#volkov does not have 5 kids tho my god#maybe i miscounted. im not looking again until i start cutting in handbrake though#this is extra funny to me bc its matt damon squishing my little guy into the background. like in bourne supremacy where db is squished into#2 minutes and 27 seconds of background character by matt damon who is once again the guy the entire thing is about#volkov-vogel has more than that at least#and he has a first name! it is alex#just like in cloverfield! where he is sasha which is alex#its all coming together#whats coming together you may ask#well. i dont know#something#maybe
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NEIL GAIMAN NOTICE ON TWITTER I CAN DIE IN PEACE
#this wasnt even directed at me btw#it was david tennant fennec foxes birthday#idk why he responded to me#but ill take it fr#he knows we exist 😍#admin two is asleep through all of this im waiting for her to wake up#neil gaiman#good omens
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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this isnt the account for this i KNOW but jjk just ended and it was the worst thing ive ever read oh my daysssss
#my god bro#IT ENDED THE EAY IT STARTED. THERE WAS NO DEVELOPMENT AT ALLLLLL#it literally ended w sukunas finger in that same shrine box thingy....some dumb mf is gonna eat that thing again and make jjk2#electric boogaloo#1. why the kenjaku/geto tease at the end of the previous chapter. what even was the point of that it wasnt even MENTIONED#2. we got a scene with megumi burying his sister which understandable...BUT NOT ONE FOR GOJO????#NO OFFENSE BUT TSUMIKI APPEARED TWICE LIKE IF SHE CAN GET A BURIAL SO CAN GOJO#3. dont get me started on gojo bro ive never seen such a mishandling of a character in my life#all im gonna say is that 2 page flashback of him being like 'everyones gonna forget me once im not the strongest anymore'...and he was RIGH#HE WAS RIGHT HE DIDNT GET A BURIAL OR ANYTHING HE GOT HIS GODDAMN BODY POSSESSED JUST FOR NOTHING#HIS BRAIN IS WHO KNOWS WHERE#the ones who truly won were the sukuna gojo shippers bc one of the last things gojo said was 'everyones going to forget me'#and sukuna said 'ill never forget you for as long as i live'...sukuna TECHNICALLY isnt dead so hes fr the only one honoring gojo#3. i just wish we got some more worldbuilding bc for the last couple chapters theyve been mentioning a whole bunch of clans#and trying to explain their significance??? like kusakabe becoming the leader of the simple domain clan#they talked about that for a whole damn chapter WHAT SIGNIFICANCE DOES THAT HAVE??? EVERYONES BEEN USING A SIMPLE DOMAIN WYMMMMMMM#and then yuta and todo are like kinda cousins and are in the same clan but again we never got introduced to them before IT MEANS NOTHINGGGG#AND THIS WAS EVEN AN ISSUE IN THE SUKUNA FIGHT!!! like they talked about all these generals and clans he defeated but we never saw them#so it literally means nothing!!! just give us a little piece of heian era lore please please please#oh my god and them just pretending everythings fine and dandy bc sukuna is sealed again#youre telling me japan had shibuya and shinjuku absoltely destroyed in the span on 2 months and we just never got#any insight about how the country recovered??? or whats going on AFTER sukuna was defeated???#the closest thing we got was the american soldiers coming to japan to defeat some spirits but thats literally it
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sorry if this is out of the blue guys but i think my brain just decided to convert me to being an adachi stan
#snap chats#again technically speaking#ANYWAY NO LISTEN THIS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER AND IM SO VERY CONFUSED#i havent had a dream that wasnt a nightmare about my mom in like Ever and the one time i do has got to be. The Coziest Shit#ive only ever had like one or three rgg dreams and half of them Vaguely had aoki in it so this is the funniest curve ever#you will read my dream summary we are at a sleepover motherfucker#do i even remember exactly what happened NO i just remember being in a lobby with some other bitches#and one of them Other Bitches included adachi. im pretty nanba was also there? iunno cant remember piss#point is i just hung out with adachi for like 80% of the shit. oh my god no i remember ichiban was there#and this is a significant detail for a thing adachi said to me BECAUSE ichiban was there and vaervLKjve#FUNNIEST DREAM OF MY LIFE but also the coziest one but also mr adachi... can we hang out again:(#blaming the fact i had my kirby plush for this one since it's round and soft like he was </3#ok bye thats all i should be legally allowed to divulge bout my sicko dreams#it was just very funny waking up at the asscrack of dawn and being like Hang On....... What Was That.....#be yeah im an adachi stan now sorry team </3 maybe one day ill dream about one of my guys#tho i cant forget that period where i did just have ttm dreams for like. a week straight.... ok byebye fr now
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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yall ever crush on someone then they say they dont like something and the crush part goes away immediately? cause.. that just happened what
#this guy said he didnt like taylor swift and now when i see him all i think is 'oh'#like WHAT??#I DIDNT KNOW I COULD DO THAT???#WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON#it wasnt even a conscious decision im so confused#last week i was fr going 'thats my ride or die and im gonna pick him everytime'#now what do i do#personal post#mish talks
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listen and think of them pls
#Have I posted these all here before? Yes. Should you all still emo cry circle jam to them yes so do so#Get in bitch we’re diving back into Boreo feels (for writing purposes so yn it’s fiiiine it’s healthy even to emo sometimes right?)#He asks as if it’s change a thing if it wasnt#Lmfaooo okay but listen listen I plan the sad music first theeeen my dance music and workout#I get emo feels out after I promie fr I do it smooth brain style big smov brain haver I am! Okay!#boreo#boris pavlikovsky#the goldfinch#tgf#theo decker#theodore decker#theo i’m not gay decker#donna tartt#boreo music#And hey hey I included a song to end on that will help you “life… eh?” It because for me is Boris getting high w/Potter#Spotify#Also bedroom ceiling song UGHHH could just see sm to that aibsejwudhbsjf not emo about it actually how perfect it is and and#Def don’t imagine them both talking to their moms when they get drunk or high enough not to judge themselves about it#Asking them for guidance maybe just in their heads at first but the more they’re stressed the more they just can’t push off the want stuck#In their throat to just fucking ask them out loud till one night they just let out all slurred and embarrassed in the dark of their room#Omfg I miiiight need to have thiiiis in Forget about Kotku fuckkn hellllll#5seconds later I’m like yes no I will I think lol I need happy endings for my boys always and wasn’t sure how I would get there but thiiis#Mmmmm it’s giving me ideas in making that idea ages back I got from that Russian Facebook post I shared of writing love letters to someone#Sleeping cause you can’t tell em that rn and I just hmmmm *meme of ghoul boys*:IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS my brain: you ain’t connect shit
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ok i stole this from twt but work has been driving me crazy today. toji bullying me back.
#jupiter.speaks#> i still need to vote augehehegeheghhh!!!!!!!!#> i hate testing sometimes i need to fall on the floor dramatically and sob. brother. it is broken. 💔#> i dont know when it broke or if it ever worked. i think the latter tbh our last dev for this was. not super great at checking these parts#> theres still like. at least 3 pages that are suuuper insecure. like um. i know its not urgent but could we actually make it urgent#> just think i need a toji like man in my life. whatever ive been listening to too many love songs the past few days its gotten me all soft#> the toji hole. is that hes. fuck man i said i wasnt gonna have another. me when i LIE. TO MYSELF!#> yknow wbat fine. toji fo. whatever. fucking brain. okay let me expand that#> right tojo hole is that he is emotionally fucked up me too buddy. bully each other. even like yrs down the line or whatever#> like if im bein fuckin fr rn. im more likely to bully n tease an fo. i dont know im takin too seriously. i need to punt him into the sun#> thanks for readin 🙏 i will now find more insecure pages 🙏#❤️.toji
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It's fun to see how easier some things are as an experienced player rather than a newbie. I had SO much trouble with the snowboar king the first time I fought it, but here it's far less intimidating bc I actually know what I'm doing lol
#this is my alt in case that wasnt clear lol#i remember i beat it in co-op with my lil sib the first time and it was still hard#we kept swapping between whos going back to the heater just outside the area to make sure he doesnt disengage#like granted i was also lower ar & with low lvl unit the first time but still#(i also have better characters this time lol layla carries fr)#i did this while procrastinating on all the Big Quests btw. didnt feel like doing heavy story stuff so i explored dragonspine instead lol#anyway. playing from the beginning again has been fun!#especially bc it lets me use characters i dont have the time or energy to invest in on my main rn#like layla amd faruzan#(keqing & dehya too tho i dont have those on my main at all lol)#(also speaking of which)#(hot take: dehyas kit isnt nearly as bad as people say it is)#(sure its far from ideal but shes still perfectly usable)#(its fine shes fine even if her kits disappointing)#(anyway i should. stop probably.)#layla#keqing#bennett#dehya#genshin impact#xander rambles#video clip
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🦋
#i know i shouldnt even look#like i really should just stop obsessively checking his blogs#out of sound out of mind#and i have already muted his notifs on the messaging app#but that makes it hard to open it which i do bc im talking to two other ppl on there#i shouldnt check his blog... but i have like fomo lok#lol*#i dont wanna miss out on any potential knowledge#even if i know ... i should learn how to be fine with not knowing#since he doesnt wanna be the loml skkskskskak#i shouldnt be investing this much energy into someone who doesnt even want me in his life#so why do i keep doing that.....#it's just hard to stop checking#bc since he isnt talking to me his blogs are the only content and crumbs i get from him#if i stop checking his blogs it's like he wont be in my life at all and how do i cope with that#i know it's what's good for me but i just cant do it :((#also i just miss when we were mutuals#and when he liked my posts and reblogged from me and replied to my posts....#whenever i post pics i get so sad bc he never likes them (he doesnt even see them lmao)#he likes other ppl's pics and he reblogs them too#but never for me.....#idk guess that just kinda hurts lmao#the thing is#he SAID he cared abt me. that i was one of the very few ppl he liked this way#he SAID all of those things and it's not smth i just assumed or made up#so now it's hard for me to let it go bc it wasnt 100% one sided as it usually is#idk what to do this is eating me up fr
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one day i will post eriks art .and rhe world will sing
#i love him so much . i wish we had more of him T_T sry 2 vash for ur trauma or whatever#hes like .#every time i read a story n grow attached to a chara im like . u know what you need to do#grow out your hair and grow a shitty beard 2 make urself (me) feel better#and he listened .. trimax ch 1 and 2 best day of my life fr#its like .my favorite character design IM SRY OK!!! ik its overplayed but its so yummy . to me#vash#eriks#trigun#i like the way its currently set up wherein ww and vash meet like Technically once and then eriks arc happens and he finds him again#but a smalll part of me is like . what if that happened later in the story and when they knew each other frl . which i guess thats what#stampede is getting at but idc . so#but i do like the way trimax went w it anyways bc there wasnt room for that once vash got moving again#he was determined ‼️ to end it once and for all HSKAGA.hm#dont even mnow what im getting at anymore .#anyways stream eriks frm trimax .❤️#that sc of him and ww walking 2 the fake vash .love the composition love his outfit love the energy
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